A Little Mixed Up...

by Lithium Vinyl

Rating: teen
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Human, Romance, Original Character
Length: 6493

AHHHH! WHY AM I A PONY!?

Ok... All I did was sleep a little in class! I mean, I'm a genius! I don't need to pay attention! I had no idea anything was going to happen! All of a sudden the world around me and my freaking body dissappear after some freak bitch tried to EAT ME and I'm stuck in the crazy world inhabited only by TALKING PONIES! Not to mention they TURNED ME INTO ONE OF THEM! Although the wings are pretty fucking awesome! Regardless they tell me I'm gonna be here a while, so I might as well get comfortable...

Published 2012-09-19 13:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-27 04:13:00 UTC

My "Grand" Arrival

"Welcome, all my itty-bitty freshies! I see you have all finished your homework on amphetamines that I assigned yesterday... if you could be so kind as to pass it forward!" The crazed curly-haired professor beamed up at the students, exciting stammered mumbles of "yes sir" and "sure...".

I growled as my ears listened to that buffoon at the front of the room instruct the class. I adore organic chemistry, but this numskull is going to ruin the subject for me! Why can't he just get the job done like the rest of my professors and just treat us like the adults that we are!? Being a college freshmen was a little more demanding than I thought it was going to be; it was only December nineteenth, three days before my first semester exam, and my never-ending schedule was running me completely ragged. Even my once shiny neon-blue hair that served as a symbol of my individuality now sagged loosely against my neck, while the surrounding skin had garnered a pale, almost ethereal glow to it, for as hard as it was to admit it, I hadn't really been outside much lately.

Nope, studying had certainly kept me quite busy, quite busy indeed... Between the rigorous pre-med program at USC and my blasted double major in double bass (yes I'd heard many jokes about it from my crazed jester of a father: "So you gonna quadruple major in quadruped mechanics instead?"), I, the "mighty Platinum", had virtually no time to myself, let alone any free time to do as I fucking pleased! The one chance I had at enjoying himself over the past few weeks was where I had garnered this stupid nickname anyway...

"Mr. Romanov! Very impressive indeed!" Dr. Bruer shouted out in his general direction across the lecture hall.

Shaking myself out of my tempting daydream, I beamed a fake smile down to the podium of the lecture hall, quite possibly to the dismay of his class mates: for once again I was the only one in the class to get one-hundred percent on a take-home test. Seven in a row... I can keep this going! No, but I can't get too full of myself... but really. Seven!? Still... I couldn't help feeling a little overjoyed. Josh and Haden back in Ohio never thought I could make it here, let alone thrive! So much for your MIT family pedigree Josh... Suck on this!

Looking down at my syllabus, my smile vanished faster than my coffee did at three am this morning. Shit! I've still got a damn lab to make up from when I skipped to go on that road trip! Oh well... at least I don't have my stupid O-chem exam for another three days... two fucking days before Christmas! Why did school run so late in California! Picking up my pencil, I fumbled through my binder, which was as well organized as a private library I might add, and grabbed my lab out of the metal clasp system, its rings closing with a resounding *click*. Looking it over, I shuddered as the truly monumnetal amount of content the lab contained struck me: this was going to take hours! And I did NOT have that kind of time...

Well shit... Hey, at least I already have one-hundred percent in here... what kind of damage could one measly little three-hundred point lab do if I didn't turn it in... an eighty-percent for the semester wasn't bad! My entire frame sagged as I realized what I would be doing for six hours tomorrow...

"Mr. Romanov, could you please answer number nine for the class?" the doctor called from the front of the room.

Momentarily raising myself out of my little stupor, my eyes quickly followed from the chalkboard to my blank problem sheet and then back to their original hiding place behind my eyelashes. "0.3274 moles of carbonic acid, Professor" was my confident answer before I could return to my daydreams. This class really isn't that hard... How I had managed to do so well so far in college was still lost somewhere between a little mental talent and a lot of hard work, with the exception of organic chemistry: it seemed to come to me easier than, to be frank, anything else. Which basically just gave me more time between one and four in the morning to study anatomy.

I need a nap... I'll only be asleep for a few seconds and then I'll go right back to paying attention! Why does that prissy Professor have to be so...

Huh? What? I thought as a shook my head groggily from side to side as I quickly opened my eyes. Startled by the lack of light in the lecture hall, I looked left toward the panoramic windows that graced that side of the room before my heart fell: it was evening! Looking down at watch which read 8:19, I almost lost it. Shit! Shit shit shit! I missed my anatomy seminar AND my bass master class! Wait... how did I sleep that long... surely the professor would have... oh fuck. Sitting desks below his and positioned backwards so that he could look at him was Doctor Bruer, his wacky curls slathered over his head giving him the appearance of a woman in such low light. He was looking straight at me. Oh come on... just the last thing I need right now.

The eccentric professor loudly cleared his throat. His demeanor, contrary to the peppy one he carried in class, was almost joking; like instead of making the best out of life he was making fun of it instead. "Nice to finally see you awake. How was your nap?"

I slowly raised my body up to full height as my mouth began to form words. "I'm sorry s-sir... I-I diddn't meaaann to fall... What I m-mean to say is-s...."

A chuckling professor shook his head. What is just me, or did he seem a little out of it? Normally Dr. Bruer would have had a happy attack by now, not some type of "The Joker"-style smileathon. What was wrong?

"All is well, child. I've only been here for about twenty minutes; I had forgotten you had fallen asleep in my classroom!" Taking a swig of his coffee, the professor went on. "Consider this my favor to you for getting such spectacular marks in my class. You really needed the sleep, and I didn't have the heart to wake you up... Well, I don't the heart to do a lot of things." Cocking his head to the side, the doctor continued to stare into my eyes, his feminine curls giving him a spooky aura that I could not possibly describe.

"Thank you very much Professor, but I did miss a lot of classwork! And exams start in two days!"

The Professor blinked, flashing his glazed-over black eyes."Relax Katalan... knowing your brainpower you'll kill all of them no matter what."

Hearing the old man refer to me with my actual first name was a tad startling Since I had arrived at USC and embarrassed myself, everyone had called me Platinum; even many professors! My friends from high school who had heard the story or had seen it on Youtube (only one of two-hundred million people to do so... *shudder*) had even joined in on it. To hear my actual name... it made me feel closer to his teacher than many of his friends all of a sudden. Which, considering that this was the first real one-on-one discussion they had ever had, was pretty weird.

Wait a moment... my name on my college transcript was John! How had he known... the fuck? Where had that dude learned my actual name!?

He smiled a slightly maniacally-looking smile. "Listen... we don't have much time. I want to make sure you stay alive at least a little longer."

Woah. Woah. WOAH! What!?!?

"I... I don't understand sir." I managed to mumble, not quite grasping what the sudden change in conversation was from.

He smiled that joking smile once again. "You will eventually"

What was he talking about!? We were at a secure location on a beautiful campus in the middle of the best part of LA... Make it out alive!? What the fuck was he talking about? One moment he had been waking me up from an unusually long class nap and all of a sudden he wants me to die or something!? Did he mean it metaphorically? As in "stay alive for exams"? Or was the crazed professor just messing with him? He couldn't be serious. Unless... Holy shit! The dude was a suicide bomber! A terrorist! He was... What was he?

I swiveled around in my chair, two things not quite making sense in my mind: Why had I slept so long? And WHY WAS THIS OLD FUCK CLAIMING HE HOPED I WOULD LIVE JUST A LITTLE LONGER!?

Garnering enough courage to speak, I stammered out an odd question. "What are you?"

Oh come on... You could have asked so many better questions than that... It's not like he was gonna like... THE FUCK!?

The professor's head split open down the middle like an apple being cleaved open with a butcher's knife. His smile still plastered on his face, the two halves of the former Dr. Bruer's face continued to split down the middle, ripping his chest in half.

Out of his body rose the head of an otherworldly creature. It had the head of what appeared to be a starved dragon, and the claws of both a chicken and a... what was that!? An eagle!? The creepiest part about the sickening creature was the intelligent glare in it's eyes... the same maniacal glare that had possessed the doctor moments before.

OK, what the fuck. I'm still asleep. That or this guy must have dropped some acid in my mouth while I was asleep... there is no way this was real. The creature sat not ten feet form his face, plain as day. Ok... this is really freaking me the fuck out! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?

The monster's body had finally emerged from the doctor's corpse, cocking it's head to the side as it stared at him with the craziest looking grin he had ever seen... "I the start of a new beginning, my dear. It's been so long since I've set foot on this planet.. and it has seemed to have cleaned itself up quite a bit! I've come to mess it up a bit! Oh, and by the way, you didn't quite make it."

And with that the monster let loose a massive ball of flame that plunged my world first into a frenzy of light, then utter blackness.

Ugghhhhh... where am I?

Opening my eyes I saw the impending lab in front of my face, drool coating a quarter of the surface and dried drool another fourth. Lifting up my head to look around, I sighed in obvious relief that everything around me seemed to be as it should; The singularly-pieced Dr. Bruer continued to lecture about amphetamines with too much enthusiasm at the base of the lecture hall. The windows to his left let the mid-morning light pour into the hall like wine into a tall, crystal glass, its beauty strangely morphing into a feeling of pure joy in my head. Glancing at my watch, I observed the time to be 10:19; I luckily had only slept for an hour. That''s a little more than I hoped for, but it sure beats the hell out of being burned to death... what kind of fucked up dream was that!?

Just as I began to contemplate this the now-sane professor goofily let an an exclamation. "What a fun-tastic day exploring the world of organic chemistry! I'm so glad I can claim you all to be my besties!"

Oh yeah straight up! You sure are my best friend Doctor... I laughingly thought to myself with a chuckle and got up to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten one my books at my desk. Turning around to go retrieve it, I ran right into a freshmen girl, knocking her over and sending her spiraling towards the ground.

Quickly reaching out grab her hand, I clamped down on it with my right arm and thrusted my right foot forward, shifting my gravity back and stopping her fall just in the nick of time. Blushing red-hot, the girl quickly righted herself and checked to make sure she hadn't dropped anything.

Now I had never been one for romance, but this girl definitely qualified for beautiful. She was about a head shorter than my five-ten, which beautifully complimented her silky brunette hair that reached down just past her shoulders. Sporting a pair of diamond earrings shaped into crescents, her overall demeanor was very confident, almost royal; she possessed a sort of flair that few people possessed at all, never mind a girl of her obvious diminutive stature.

Her stunning appearance seemed to cloud my normally clear mind, for all I could seem to say was "I'm uhhhh... sorry!". She chuckled a little and leaned in closer to him. "Don't mention it hot stuff. And hey, here's your book". Grasping the anatomy textbook I had oh-so-luckily left behind, my brain seemed to gain a little more confidence. "Well thank you! I almost forgot it!"

"You weren't turning around to go retrieve it?" she asked politely.

I inadvertently blushed. How could I help it?

She laughed. "I'm just messing with you! Sheesh..."

I gulped. "Yeah, of course! HAHAHA!"

She looked up and stare into his golden-beige eyes with coal-black ones of her own. "Thank you for catching me though! I'm so clumsy..." she said as she flipped her green hair over one shoulder.

I felt a weird spark as she rose up on her heels to meet my eyes up close. Her red eyes were among the most amazing things I had ever seen. Those red orbs are too good to be true... wait. Weren't they black before? And her hair was brown... why was it... orange now!? It was a green just a second ago. What the fuck was going on... And that was when I saw it.

The same maniacal grin that graced the professor in his dream.

The same fire that burned in it eyes.

The same joking demeanor that it had.

My face instantly went from one of pure joy to pure horror as her mouth began to open, a red glow perpetrating from the deep confides within. Yup. Someone had slipped me some acid. But somehow I knew no one had... Was I still asleep? It seemed so much more real... How was the monster from my most recent nightmare... somehow staring me right in the face!?

A creeping smile slowly inched its way across my visage as she snarled. "YOU FUCKING BI..."

I couldn't even finish my sentence. Suddenly a force seemed to pull me from behind, jerking me away from the monster and into a black abyss that quickly closed itself to the world outside. The last thing I saw was the fire in her eyes as she mouthed to him as the blackness closed around my mind and my body.

"Platinum"

=========

Thump Thump.

What?

Thump Thump.

Wow, what? What happened? Where I am...?

Thump Thump.

"Spike! Spike it worked! The spell! It... if FINALLY WORKED!"

Who was that? What... Why did my head feel different.

Thump Thump.

"It did!? Did you manage to get anything over to the other side? Even something like a rock?"

Thump Thump.

I've got to come to... what... why do I feel so weird?

Thump Thump

"I don't know! I've managed to transfer something over though! Something rather... woah!"

THUMP.

"Spike, come quick! Bring a first aid kit! Something!"

"Why!? Are you hurt Twilight!?"

"No... It seems I've brought over... an unconscious pegasus!"

Wait... A what?

A New... Buddy

What did she just say? Someone must have the TV on... wherever the fuck I am! This is really getting old...

I heard the sing-songy male voice again, but this time much closer. The voice got closer... am I not listening to the TV!? Maybe these two are just really high. "What's his name?" I heard someone ask. "The poor guy couldn't be from too far away... he must live in town!"

Come on... Get up!! Move it you fat ass!

The girl, or so I presumed, lightly put something up against by cheek. The surface of the object had a kind of bodily warmth to it, but it sure was no hand. It was somewhat hard and cold to the touch, but flat. While I wanted to just open my eyes to see what was happening, my body did not seem to be able to respond to any of my feeble mental commands. Come on, MOVE IT! Ugghhh no use... And why was she even helping me when clearly there was a knocked-out mythological creature from Mount freaking Olympus just LYING AROUND SOMEWHERE NEARBY! Now GET UP, BODY!!!

Removing her... what exactly was it?... from my face, my mysterious new buddy breathed a sigh of relief. "All of his vitals are good; I don't know why he won't get up! He couldn't have been teleported more than a mile of two... but somehow this poor stallion is a little shell-shocked."

Hold on just a second... was she referring to me as the pegasus!?

"Twilight, maybe you should try "shocking" him a little! You know, just to get his blood pumping and..."

"SPIKE!" screamed the girl, who was apparently named Twilight (Tsk Tsk... hippie parents...). Catching me completely caught me off guard, her explosive exclamation made my inanimate form to jump a little bit. I let loose a weak "ugggghhhh.... whaaaa?" before falling back into my vegetive state again. Damn it! Why can't I seem to get myself to move!?

This "Twilight" was obviously startled by my little quiver, as she shrieked quite loudly and immediately placed that same object I had felt on my cheek earlier against my shoulder. Or at least where my shoulder should have been... Something seemed to be blocking her from touching it! I could very well feel the touch; but it wasn't in the right place. Some part of my body is lying on top of my shoulder. But how is that possible!? Unless...

Slowly letting go of whatever part of me she was touching, the female voice above him exhaled. "Spike, I'm sorry I snapped at you, but nopony can just go around hurting everypony when they don't get their way! Now, aside from that business, our little friend here seems to be waking up!"

Hearing a few little feet scamper away, I heard the male say "I think it would work..." and then a slamming door from what sounded like the other side of the room and down a hallway. The girl giggled. "Oh, kids..."

No sooner had this phrase left her lips I began to feel my body again. But... something was not right. My normally long arms felt different; they seemed to short, too stubby, and just outright in the wrong position! I was like if some mad scientist had shifted his shoulders down, forcing my arms into a bear-crawl position. Weird... and what's wrong with my back!? It feels very... open! Like there wasn't as much direct weight on its structure...

Despite these differences one particular thing stuck out; for some reason there were arms on my back. They felt like regular arms, with same muscle timing and general feel, but they met movement with much more resistance; like if with each move they had flaps that filled up like sails, causing... air resistance. There was no way...

Another high-pitched shriek filled my ears as I slowly began to stir from my current position lying on my stomach, my arms and legs outstretched. "He's awakening Spike! He's... oh yeah he's upstairs!" After hearing a stilffled giggle, the girl's voice continued at a low whisper. "Uhhhh... hello? Mr. Pegasus? If you're mad I understand..."

Suddenly finding my voice, I managed to stammer out "Uhhhh... what?" before refocusing on lifting my body off the soft, carpeted floor. Something was up: as I slowly tried to lift onto my legs, my balance suddenly lurched forward, forcing me onto all four appendages. Of all of this, the weirdest part was that it felt correct, and that it all felt wrong when I uselessly attempted to stand up normally. There is no way this is happening... I'm just in another dream! Any second now some crazy looking dragon-monster thing is going to pop out of nowhere and whisk me off somewhere else.

Feeling a force grab hold of one of my arms steady my balance as I dangerously tipped to the right. "It's ok... I'm a friend, I promise! And I'm so sorry that I accidentally teleported you away from wherever you were! I just want to... WOAH!"

It was at that very moment that I opened my eyes, revealing to her their deep indigo color and to me the proof that I wasn't dreaming: because I was no where near creative enough to imagine this.

Holy... shit...

Not two feet in front of my face stood what perhaps could be the cutest creature I have ever seen in my life. The little... is that a fucking unicorn!?... stood about four feet tall at the apex of her head, with her ears and horn going slightly above this line. She was obviously female; as she had a slender body and a gracefully flowing figure, as well as a thinner, more angular face and large eyelashes. In the place of a normal horse's long, flat nose sat an adorable little snout that stuck out of a larger, more round head that oddly resembled a human cranium. The creature's body-lacing fur struck a bright lavender hue, and her mane sparkled a deep violet with a fuchsia stripe going down the middle, which nicely matched her fur color. Despite all of that, I couldn't stop staring at her eyes: they were the exact same eyes as mine, down to the smallish shape of the pupils. Everything about them were the same, even down to the slight bulge around the middle that established our irises as elliptical. Whaa... Ummmm...

Finally gulping down my sudden shock, I managed to collect a few words. "Hey... Miss... Uhhhh..."

Suddenly shaking her head away from her gaze into my eyes, the unicorn shuddered a little bit, ruffling her hair. "Oh, sorry! I was just so taken aback by your eyes! They are so..."

"Much like yours. Yes, which also explains my prolonged glance at your own irises." Clearing my throat, I started again. "Sorry to have not bothered to ask yet, but what is your name?"

Smiling, the "pony" across from me sidestepped a little to regain her balance after nearly falling over for no apparent reason. How odd...

"Yes! Of course! No, I mean it's alright... My name is Twilight Sparkle. And you are?"

Twisting my tongue in my mouth, I responded "No one ever uses my name, so you can just call me Platinum".

The unicorn beamed, her eyes almost doubling in width. "Of course! My friend Pinkie doesn't exactly like her name either, so she also... Sorry! I'm getting ahead of myself!" Pausing for a deep breath and a moment to recollect her thoughts (or so I presumed), Twilight continued. "Now that you're awake, I would like to formally apologize for teleporting you from wherever you were before you were here! I was trying to learn a way to teleport objects to me from another location. I was focusing on something else, but I guess that my focus wandered... Luckily you are as you are! I didn't even know I could teleport anything heavier than a medium-sized rock!"

"Hey, it's alright. To be honest I wasn't really having to great of a time anyway... Speaking of that I have the nastiest headache!" At least I know how I supposedly got here... this "unicorn" can just "teleport me back to class". Wow, this whole situation just sounds crazy...

Putting aside that detail, it was definitely true I had a wrenching headache; while I hadn't noticed it yet since I woke up my head felt like it was about to rip open. Perfect. Just fucking perfect. I have no idea where I am, my body feels... weird, I'm SOMEHOW talking to a unicorn, and now I've got a migraine-strength headache. Just wonderful.

The lavender mare giggled slightly, which was oddly... kind of cute. "I've got a spell that can help you with that!" She giggled again. "Hey, I just kind of noticed this, and I'm trying not to laugh, but... your wings keep flapping randomly, and it's a little..."

"My wi... WOW!"

My shocked voice filled the room to the brim before I tried to look down by backside: that did not work. I had to look across it. Holy shit... Now that is sick.

Everything made sense now. my body before me was now one of a miniature flying pony. My coat was the color of brushed aluminum, reflecting back just enough light so you could tell that it was satin. My once-short, cropped hair had been replace with a flowing neon-blue... Mane? That felt awkward to say. Another perk of becoming a pony was the tail; the striking appendage was the same color as my mane, and offset the satin glow of my fur quite nicely. I could definitely get used to this...

All of that was nothing compared to my new wings Twilight had unknowingly exposed to me. Sporting a platinum sheen similar to my coat, their undersides and rear-facing areas were covered in long, beautiful that managed to catch light even better than his coat already did. On top of their appearance, they felt absolutely amazing: like I had sprouted a new set of legs. Wow... this is crazy I said to myself as I gave my new babies a quick flap. Who cares if I ever get back to the regular world at this point... I can fly!

Suddenly a feeling of dread crept over me like high tide. Oh no... can I even get back? I haven't really thought about it yet... Making sure I wasn't asleep or drugged had taken precedence. And I could still be one of those things too! What is going on!?

The sound of her strangely perky voice made me jump out of my thoughts. "Yeah *giggle* that's better. Dear Celestia, you freaked out! It's like you've never had wings before..."

"Uhhhh, yeah, well about that..."

"So where in town do you live? Or do you live nearby? Maybe Canterlot of Fillydelphia? Ponyville isn't too far from around there..."

"Yeah, I have no idea where those are..."

Ignoring my input, Twilight rambled on. "Maybe you just live in town and I've just never seen you! Are you on the weather team, are you..."

"Twilight"

"No, Rainbow would've told me if someone with your kind of mane was on the weather team; she'd love it! OH! Maybe you're a guard! No, you would've told me by now..."

"Twilight"

"You could be one of the new farm hands down at Sweet Apple Acres! They always need people around to help out! Ehhh, no there's no way AJ would hire a pegasus... she like to keep her work close to the ground. Why can't you just tell me where you're from!? OH OH OH are you a..."

"Twilight I'm not from here."

Her previously curious babble suddenly ground to a halt and was replaced by a look of puzzlement. "Do you mean from Ponyville, or from this part of Equestria, or..."

"Sorry to interrupt but I have no idea what Equestria is. In fact I have no idea where I am in the slightest."

This definitely meant something to the unicorn. Her face contorted into a much more serious stare, and her indigo eyes narrowed, forming small cat-like slits. Ears standing up on end and her tail sticking straight out, the mare took a step forward towards me. Licking her lips, she asked with a low, nervous tone: "What do you mean?"

I shrugged. "I was sitting in class nodding on and off when all of a sudden I got sucked into this black slit. My sensed clogged up, and I blacked out, only to wake up on your floor a few minutes ago. I'm really sorry if that sounds crazy, but it's all I remember." Unknowingly to her, I decided to leave the rest of my ordeal a secret.

She took another cautious step forward. Cocking her purple head to the left, the unicorn lowered her voice even further and asked "Where you live, how do the sun and moon rise and set?"

"They don't rise and set, the Earth slowly revolves around it's own axis, causing different parts of the world to... What's wrong?"

Twilight's face had quickly gone from cautious to outright horrified at his response. Jumping up in the air with her forehooves, the now-crazed pony shrieked like an eagle. "What's wrong? What's wrong!? I've teleported you here from ANOTHER PLANET!"

My visage remaining passive, I shrugged again. "It's ok. Can you just teleport me back to Ear... my home again? And, as cool as it is, get me out of this body? I'd love to be standing on two legs."

"YOU THINK I CAN JUST DO THAT!?"

Slowly realizing what Twilight was implying I had a hard time forming words in my mouth. "Why can't I just, you know, "find" my planet or whatever, and you can just "teleport" me back..."

"I would love to! But you most likely have no idea where your planet is! And even if I did, the trajectory would get screwed up somehow, since the fact that you arrived here safe in the first place is like a one in a billion chance! On top of that I don't even have the energy to do it! You must have gotten the magical force to teleport you here form some other source, since I could never do it alone! This is all wrong..."

Not wanting to believe it, I stammered out "I... I don't understand."

"Can't you see it?"

My heart quickened. "There has to be something you can do..."

She lost it. "I CAN'T TELEPORT YOU BACK!"

At this my heart-rate instantaneously hit T-0. At this my previously-receding headache returned with a vengeance, further clogging my brain. I had to be sleeping; There was no other way this is possible. Come on brain... time to wake up! It's time to return to that old shit teaching organic chemistry... time to see Twilights head turn into a dragon! But no such comfort came; there was still a stunned unicorn right in front of me, and I was still a pegasus. [i[Maybe this isn't a dream... but then how is it even possible!? Could I really be here?

Closing my eyes, I imagined myself back home; my dumb old class, my dorm room, my friends... Slowly a tear formed on my lower-left eyelid and slowly fall down my face as I backed up a little bit. Maybe I could find someone in this world that could send me back... but how fucking stupid would that sound!? "Hey, I'm supposed to be on another, completely-unknown planet... could you just kinda whisk me over there lickity split? Also I lucid dream a lot and imagine magical creatures killing me during class so you know I'm legit."

No... It was hopeless. Keeping my eyes closed, I slowly began to let tears fall down my face. Everything I had ever known... everything... was gone in no more time than it took to finish a chemistry quiz. Everything seemed surreal; like I was dreaming, but I wasn't. I could be imagining everything; but I wasn't. I knew what was real and what was not. And this was real. And for some reason I thought dragon was too...

Oh who cares about that anymore!? I'm hopeless.

Feeling some of the wetness on my facial fur disappear with light pressure, I opened my eyes to find Twilight wiping away my tears with a handkerchief, her deep violet irises glowing with empathy. "I... I'm so sorry... I know there is no way you could ever forgive me, but just know that I... I never wanted this to happen to you."

Sighing, she wiped one of her tears away. "I didn't mean to ruin everything."

And at that moment something hit me. She really cares about what she did.. She really cares. Back home no one even gave two shits about me; Josh and Haden, my only friends in high school, used me because I my parents were surgeons and had a lot of money; my roommate hates me; my parents haven't said anything positive to me since I was sixteen... None of them gave a fuck. Yet I've known this mare for what... ten minutes? And she cares more about how I feel than any other person I've ever known! For the first time in my nineteen-year-old life I finally feel loved... that must have been the feeling I felt earlier. I felt the feeling of someone actually giving a fuck about me.

Swallowing, I let out a deep sigh, much to the relief of my companion. "Thank you very much for that sentiment. I realize that I basically just popped in here out of nowhere, but I already feel like you care that I... can't go home." Sighing again, I continued. "I really appreciate it."

A warm smile that appeared as if Twilight was faking confusion crept across her face mid-summer morning dew. "Why wouldn't I care? I'm the one who ruined everything!"

"Twilight. I promise you did not ruin everything. Back where I live no one cares for me one bit. No one. You have shown more compassion in the last ten minutes than I have basically gotten in my entire life. It is to you I owe a thank you."

The look of puzzlement returned to her face. "Do you mean that you are OK with me literally ruining your life?"

I shrugged. "That's just it; so far you haven't ruined it. This has just gone by so fast... and I don't know why I'm accepting your apology so quickly. Heck, until ten minutes ago I thought that ponies were just dumb animals! And all of a sudden it feels as if my mind has been given its first breath. In the back of everyone's conscience you think that somehow this could happen; every child imagines themselves being whisked off somewhere, never to return, at one time or another. I know I did. And when I used to think about it... I thought that it would be a massive adjustment; how I would make new friends but I would never really feel at home, however cool that fantasy happened to be."

I sighed. "But now... for some reason I'm OK with it."

Looking back at Twilight, I saw that her mouth was hanging open and a single tear was running down her face. She took a moment to refocus and swallowed. "I cannot believe that you have forgiven me so quickly... Why?"

Smiling, I wiped the tear off her face. "Because I suddenly feel that for some reason I belong here. I don't know why; I just know."

At this revelation the unicorn embraced me with what I could only imagine is roughly equivalent to a hug. After holding this for a few minutes she backed away, looked at me, and blushed. Slowly mouthing the words "thank you", Twilight turned away from me to consult a book sitting on a desk nearby.

Up until now the rapidly transpiring events had distracted me from where I had been teleported to. It was clearly a library; the room was roughly elliptical, with bookshelves lining the walls all the way around. In the corner sat a writing desk on which Twilight's book rested. Off to my right was a winding staircase going up to a balcony that I could barely see, as well as a hallway that I could imagine this Spike went off to. Wow... nice pad. Twilight couldn't be older than like twenty! How did she already have a personal library!?

Turning around, the lavender unicorn smiled at me. "I don't think I could ever express my gratitude for how readily you have forgiven me today. On another matter... you have quite a bit to learn about where you have ended up. Also, I noticed that earlier you had claimed that you wanted to be back on two legs. Back where you live, do ponies walk on their hind legs or something."

Chuckling to myself, I gave her a wink. "Not exactly... I think your spell did a little more than send me here."

Cocking her head to one side, Twilight gave him her trademarked stare of curiosity. "What do you mean?"

"Up until I came here I wasn't actually a pony at all; I was a creature called a human. Humans are like... how do I explain it.... They are tall, walk on two legs, lack all bodily fur except for a tuft on top of their heads, and have short, stubby ears and noses. They are quite unique-looking creatures."

Again a look of puzzlement crept over Twilight's features. "There is no way you could have been... changed by my doing. All I used was a teleport-to-me spell. And, to be honest, I have no idea how it even went haywire in the first place."

Thinking back to my not-so-happy ordeal envolving the draconic creature, I just shrugged. "Ehhh... we can worry about it later. Right I now I have few questions I just kind of want to ask. You know, not too many. Maybe like..."

"Forty million?"

Sighing sarcastically I brought a cheesy grin to my mouth. "Yeah that sounds about right!"

"Hmmm... just throw one at me."

I knew exactly what I wanted to ask first. "What the hell is magic?"

Twilight apparently thought this was hilarious, as she instantly began laughing like someone had just told the best joke of all time. Up until this point in the conversation I had just blindly accepted everything Twilight had said. Now that I was really pondering my predicament one thing did not add up at all; the fact that the unicorn FUCKING TELEPORTED ME HERE!

After a few seconds of deep breaths, Twilight opened her mouth to talk again, only to have every word be interrupted by a giggle. "Wow... *giggle* You really have a lot to learn... Platinum."

I smiled yet another goofy smile. "Well unless you have something to get done I'm not going anywhere."