Resurrection: Isekai of Equestria

by JackofEquestria

Rating: teen
Tags: Narcotics, Sad, Main 6, Princess Luna, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure, Profanity, Violence, Princess Celestia, Dark, Death, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 17434

Having returned from his self-imposed exile, Jack Deleno Jager has vowed not to let his new friends suffer the fate of his old.

Jack's back from his self-imposed exile! With the help of a little plant smoke, he's managed to suppress Jade Jack, though Emerald Jack does not approve of that particular method. Though not having put the deaths of his old friends and family entirely behind him he's vowed not to let his new friends suffer the same fate. Though it seems one of his friends isn't as dead as Jack once thought. Meanwhile, Oni-Hime watches helplessly as Blutknochen gives her lead role in his plans to Morte and as a newcomer enters the scene begins to suspect her father plans on replacing her as the Element of Lust.

Published 2022-08-11 06:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-03-31 04:05:00 UTC

Chapter 3: Return of Harmony Part 2 (Last Edited: 9/29/2022)

December 6, 2020

Canterlot Sculpture Garden

Discord laughed manically as Jack and Twilight watched helplessly.

“And what are you laughing at!?” Pinkie snapped uncharacteristically.

“Oh, you ponies are just the most fun I've had in eons,” Discord cackled.

“Well, quit it!” Pinkie snapped again. “You'd better think before you laugh at the Pink...ie Pie!”

“Oh, yeah?” Fluttershy asked with a malicious smirk. “Well ha, ha.”

“What the Hell’s going on here?” Jack asked himself as his friends continued to bicker.

“Uh... Rarity?” Applejack asked tracing a hoof against a large boulder. “This here diamond of yours? Twilight said we should split it six ways since we, uh, found it together.”

“HI-YAH!” Rarity cried knocking Applejack away with a karate kick. “Try it, punk. He's mine. All mine! Ya! Ya! Ya!”

“Twilight!” Jack shouted, having reached the center of the commotion.

“Jack!” Twilight exclaimed. “Thank Celestia!”

“What’s going on?” Jack asked.

“I have no idea!” Twilight exclaimed as their friends bickered. “Everypony’s gone crazy!”

Discord chuckled from the couch he’d summed, shoveling popcorn into his mouth. “It's just too entertaining.”

“Stop it, Discord,” Twilight snapped. “You're not playing fair.”

“Were you expecting him too?” Jack asked.

“Well at least someone gets me,” Discord snarked. “The house always wins for a reason. Of course, it’s not fair.”

“How are we supposed to find the Elements of Harmony when you took away the labyrinth before we could get to the end?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, wait, did you...?” Discord burst out laughing. “How funny! You thought the Elements were in the labyrinth?”

Discord snapped his finger and the landscape gave way to a flashback of Discord explaining the rules.

“Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the Elements back where you began.”

In a flash, they returned to the present.

“I never said they were in the labyrinth,” Discord gloated.

“Damn,” Jack muttered. “He got us.”

“But...but...” Twilight protested.

“Keep trying, Twilight Sparkle,” Discord said. “Maybe the magic of friendship can help you,” he added mockingly. “Now if you'll excuse me, I have some chaos to wreak.”

Snapping his fingers Discord vanished and a maelstrom of chocolate milk erupted from the sky.

“Chocolate milk?” Pinkie asked. “I hate chocolate milk!”

“What?” Jack thought. “Since when….”

“She’s been corrupted,” Emerald Jack explained. “Apart from Twilight Sparkle they all have.”

“Ugh, I just want to go home...” Twilight complained. “Wait a minute... Home! "Back where you began!" The Elements must be in... Ponyville!” Ponyville was visible in the distance, and it was clear from the floating buildings Discord was already having his way. Nonetheless, Twilight was determined. “Come on, everypony. I'm certain this is what Discord's riddle really meant. If we get back to the library, I have a book that I just know can give us a clue. Ah!”

A stampede of bunnies with cartoonishly long legs hit Twilight like a bus.

“Good boy, Angel,” Fluttershy praised. “Mama's so proud.”

Jack was unnerved by Fluttershy’s cruelty, but an abrupt shift from day to night reminded him there were more important things to deal with.

“Wow, Ah can see so much better now,” Applejack said as the road became slick as grease. “Whoa!” she exclaimed slipping into the others. “Ah meant to do that.”

Night shifted abruptly into day revealing what had happened.

“Wah! Ahh! Whoa!” Twilight exclaimed. “Discord's turned our dirt roads into soap!”

“Speak of the Devil,” Jack muttered as Discord skated by.

“Beautiful, isn't it?” Discord asked, pointing toward floating houses being pelted with chocolate rain. “This is the new and improved Ponyville, and these are only my first of changes.”

Twilight sighed at another out-of-character remark from Pinkie Pie.

“Picture it,” Discord said. “The chaos capital of the world.”

“I can't picture anything,” Twilight said. Day had yet again succumbed to night. “It's too dark”

“Well, wait a few minutes and you'll see it in the beautiful light of day,” Discord said. “Or not.”

Again he vanished.

“Ponyville, the chaos capital of the world?” Twilight asked. “Not if I have anything to say about it.”

“Don't worry, you won't,” Fluttershy cackled.

“I’m sure we’ll figure this out, Twi,” Jack said.

December 7, 2020

Golden Oak Library

That night lasted longer than the others, but by the time they reached the library, it was daylight again. Twilight wasted no time ushering everyone inside.

“Okay, we're here,” she panted. “Everyone please, please, please just go inside, please?”

“Ah absolutely refuse,” Applejack said, her coat fading as she went inside anyway.

“With pleasure,” Fluttershy said, trampling Twilight’s flowers. Her coat faded as well before she went in.

Twilight sighed as she watched the color leave Pinkie’s coat as well. She had trouble with Rarity who thought Twilight was out to steal the boulder she’d now named Tom. To Jack’s surprise, Twilight resolved this dispute by smashing Tom through her wall.

“Careful, Twilight!” Rarity said, her coat fading. “You'll ruin his beautiful finish.”

“Oh, for the love of...” Twilight couldn’t finish her thought.

“Twilight, what's going on?” asked Spike. “Why does everybody look so...gray?”

“Don't ask,” she said, scooping Spike onto her back. “I need you to help me find something.”

“Hey, Twilight, what's soaking wet and clueless?” Fluttershy asked, holding a tin bucket.

“Fluttershy, I've had just about enough….”

Jack and Spike dodged, but Twilight was soaked as Fluttershy emptied her bucket on her.

“Your face!” Fluttershy jeered, slamming the bucket over Twilight’s head.

“What's happened to everypony?” Spike asked.

“Ah guess you just bring out the worst in us, Spike,” Applejack answered.

“Ugh. No time to explain,” Twilight said. “We've got to find the reference guide to the Elements of Harmony before somepony does something she'll regret!”

“The Elements of Harmony?” Spike asked, clamoring up a latter. “Oh, I know exactly where that book is. Found it!”

Jack’s heart sank as Fluttershy snatched the book and started a game of keep away. This wasn’t going anywhere, and he knew it.

“Where are you going?” Emerald Jack asked as Jack slipped out.

“Finding Discord,” Jack answered.

“Congratulations!” Discord called from the streets. “You found me! You didn’t seriously think I could resist watching the famed bearers of the elements tear each other apart, did you?”

“I guess that makes sense,” Jack said, calmly lighting a joint.

“Oooh you sound overly confident,” Discord giggled. “You must have a strategy.”

Grinning weakly as the marijuana entered his lungs Jack nodded. “Something like that.”

The Chaos of nature had many perks beyond simple combat. He had control over all manner of plants dead or alive of course, but he also controlled how his body reacted to those plants. While it might take half an hour for some to feel the effects of weed, he needn’t wait. His eyes shot emerald, and he lunged.

“This again?” Discord sighed, blocking Jack’s attack with a palm. “How disappointing.”

Unseen by Discord Jack pulled a pack from his pocket, ripping it open he threw it past Discord’s hands scattering dozens of acorns around Discord’s face. “Eat shit!” he cried as the seeds exploded into splintery shrapnel.

As the sawdust settled Jack prayed to whatever deity governed this universe that his attack had done something.

“Perhaps you aren’t as boring as I thought,” Discord said plucking several splinters from his torso. “I can’t remember the last time I was hit with a physical attack. What was it you said?” he asked with a smirk. “Eat shit?”

The peach color drained from Jack’s skin as he covered his mouth with both hands.

“Bwah ha ha ha!” Discord howled, rolling on the floor. “Did you actually think…? I’m not… I’m not a fecalphiliac you know! You actually thought I was going to… HA HA!”

“You’re not even taking this seriously,” Jack panted.

“Oh, don’t sell yourself short,” Discord chuckled. “You are by far the most threatening of all the nonthreats here.”

“What can I do?” Jack asked himself. “None of my attacks do any damage. The only thing I haven’t tried….”

“Don’t even think about it!” Emerald Jack screamed. “You know what that spell does.”

“What do you think Discord will do if he isn’t stopped?” Jack asked. “I don’t think there’s another way.”

“Move!” Twilight shouted from the library. “Look out, here comes Tom!”

Jack turned to see the giant boulder crashing through one of the windows, Twilight and the other bearers marching out behind brandishing the elements. Apart from Rainbow Dash, whose element was worn by Spike.

“Well, well, well, I see you've found the Elements of Harmony,” Discord laughed. “How terrifying!”

“Discord!” Twilight called. “I've figured out your lame riddle. You're in for it now!”

“I certainly am,” Discord agreed, through three layers of sarcasm. “You've clearly out-dueled me, and now it's time to meet my fate.” Summoning a pair of sunglasses he continued, “I'm prepared to be defeated now, ladies. Fire when ready,” he said materializing a bullseye over his stomach.

“Formation, now!” Twilight commanded.

“Eh,” the girls muttered as they gathered around her.

“Rainbow Dash, get over here!” Twilight demanded.

Spike gulped from behind Tom and scampered over.

“All right let's get this over with,” Twilight said.

Her eyes and Element glowed with pure white light.

“Looks like we won’t be needing that spell now,” Emerald Jack said.

Discord looked on nervously as the elements began to resonate and the bearers floated around Twilight. Not for long unfortunately as the light fizzled out after a few seconds and the girls came crashing down.

“What's going on?” Twilight asked, peeling herself off the ground.

“Mine's workin',” Applejack lied. “There must be somethin' wrong with yers.”

“I HATE the Elements of Harmony!” Pinkie yelled.

“Hmph!” Fluttershy chucked her element to the ground. “Garbage.”

“MINE!” Rarity declared, swiping the artifact with the speed of a cheetah.

“Sorry, Twilight,” Spike said, discarding Rainbow Dash’s element. “I guess I'd better get back upstairs and clean up the library. Good luck with all this– whoa!” he tripped over Fluttershy’s outstretched hoof.

“Oops, sorry, Rainbow Crash,” Fluttershy chuckled.

“Bravo, ponies, bravo!” Discord clapped sarcastically. “Harmony in Equestria is officially dead. Discord rules, Celestia drools.” He skated down the soapy rad laughing historically.

“It's your fault it didn't work,” Pinkie accused no one in particular.

“Who are you talking to?” Twilight asked.

“Any of you!” Pinkie answered “ALL OF YOU! I'm outta here!” she stormed off.

“Ah better go, too,” Applejack said. “Ah've got new better friends waiting fer me at the farm.”

Without so much as a word Rarity began rolling Tom away.

“Yeah!” Fluttershy exclaimed. “I'm sick of you losers.”

“FINE!” Twilight called after them. “Leave! See if I care! I don't need you guys either! With friends like you, who needs...” the color slowly faded from her coat, “enemies...?” shedding one last tear Twilight lost all hope.

Jack on the other hand hadn’t given up. Bolting away, Jack steeled himself for what he was about to do.

Cutie Mark Crusader’s Clubhouse

“Are you sure about this?” Emerald Jack asked as Jack pulled out his phone.

“There’s no other way,” Jack sighed, pressing play on his phone’s video camera.

“If you girls find this video it means I did it,” Jack said. “I defeated Discord and things have gone back to normal. I’m sure your sisters have told you about him. But that victory has come at a cost….”

Ponyville: South Residential District

Leaving the message in the Crusader’s Clubhouse was more a matter of convenience than anything else. It was close to the eye of the chaos storm so to speak and that was where Jack was sure he’d find Discord. When the girls found it they’d surely share it with their sisters who would inform everyone else who the message concerned.

Jack barely recognized the streets around him. The ground had been replaced with checkerboards, most buildings were floating in the sky, buffalo did ballet dances around him, and, in the center of it all, Discord sat on an ebony throne.

“Discord!” Jack called, holding one hand behind his back.

“You again?” Discord asked. In a flash, he was right in front of Jack. “What’s the genius strategy this time?”

“Just this!” Jack cried lunging with his knife in one hand, the other still behind his back.

“You disappoint me,” Discord sighed. With a snap of his finger, the sharp blade turned into a butter knife.

Casting the knife aside he yanked the M9 from his pocket with his and started blasting with his free hand.

Discord rolled his eyes and plucked the bullets from the sky with the speed of a Dragon Ball Z character. “Are you even trying?” he asked.

Jack smirked and revealed a forest green orb in the hand he’d hidden behind his back.

“What are you…?” Discord asked.

Jack crushed the orb in his hand and a brown sigil appeared over Discord’s stomach.

“This spell!?” Discord gasped. “But you’ll…!”

“I know,” Jack said lifting his shirt to reveal a matching sigil on his own stomach.

Discord held his hands up as his fingers slowly turned to wood. “You’re suicidal!”

Jack grinned, dropping his gun as his fingers turned to wood as well. “I’m a man who’s already lost everything once.”

Discord flinched as the wood crept up his arms and legs.

“I’ll die before I let that happen again,” Jack said. “It’s for the best really. I’ve brought about so much suffering to those around me and the only thing stopping me from going insane is weed. I promised myself I’d protect the friends I’ve made in this world, and this is how I’m going to do it.” By now the wood was closing around his torso.

“You’d throw away everything for friends?” Discord spat in disgust. “Why?!”

“Because they’re worth it,” Jack answered, as the wood reached his neck.

“Yer worth it too!!!!!!”

Jack strained his neck to see the Crusaders behind him. “What are you doing here.”

“We were hiding in Apple Bloom’s house when you left your phone in the clubhouse,” Scootaloo explained.

“We watched saw your message and followed you here to stop you!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Ya can’ do this!” Apple Bloom said.

“We won’t let you!” they declared latching onto Jack’s wooden legs.

“Stop!” Jack exclaimed as the wood reached his throat. “If you hold onto me, You’ll…”

The girls’ hooves slowly turned to wood. “We know.”

“Girls please let go!” Jack exclaimed.

“What a twist,” Discord sneered. “What’s it gonna be? Will you damn them along with us?”

Jack stared down at the girls as the wood crept up to his lips, glancing at Discord and back down to the girls the wood was now at his nostrils and to their knees. The look in the girls’ eyes pierced his very sole. There wasn’t a hint of fear only fierce determination. In an instant, the wood around Jack and the Crusaders disappeared and he collapsed on the ground, drained of energy. Despite having achieved their goals the Crusaders had no time to celebrate. They could only tremble helplessly in the face of Discord.

“A valiant effort truly,” Discord said, freed from his woody prison. “But now it’s over.”

“Not so fast Discord!” Twilight called, standing firmly alongside the other Elements. Their coats back o their original hues.

“Get back girls!” Rainbow Dash shouted, ushering the Crusaders to shelter behind a cotton candy bush.

“You just can’t get enough, can you?” Discord said.

“Ya couldn' break apart our friendship fer long,” Applejack declared.

Applejack’s element glowed and she struggled as Discord dragged her towards him.

“Oh, Applejack,” Discord said. “Don't lie to me. I'm the one who made you a liar.” With Zero effort he pulled Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie in the air along with her. “Will you ever learn?”

Twilight vanished in a purple flash making Discord flinch as she appeared between her friends and freed them from his grip with a bubble shield that returned everything inside to normal.

Jack was struggling to stay conscious at this point, but he wanted to see what would happen.

“I'll tell you what we've learned, Discord,” Twilight said as Discord rolled his eyes. “We've learned that friendship isn't always easy, but there's no doubt it's worth fighting for!”

“Ugh, gag,” Discord responded. “Fine, go ahead. Try and use your little Elements. Friend me. Just make it quick. I'm missing some excellent chaos here.”

“All right, ladies, let's show him what friendship can do!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Wait-wait-wait!” Pinkie exclaimed taking a gulp of chocolate rain before returning

“God damn it, Pinks!” Jack muttered as his consciousness slowly faded. The last thing he saw was an explosion of Rainbow and Discord crying out in distress.

December 7, 2020

Royal Canterlot Hospital

Jack’s eyes fluttered open as a ray of sunlight hit his eyes.

Rolling over he found an open jewelry box containing heart shaped amethyst brooch on a night table. Next to it was an infusion pump leading to an IV needle stuck in his right arm. He panicked at the site of it and was about to rip it out and run for the hills when he felt pressure holding his free arm down.

“I wouldn’t if I was you,” said Shining Armor, his glowing horn revealing him as the culprit. “Fear it or not that needle is saving your life.

“What do you mean?” Jack asked.

“That spell you used was a curse,” Shining Armor explained, with a disapproving glare. “They come at a cost, but I’m guessing you knew that before you attempted it. What were you thinking?”

“I saw how Discord had corrupted Twilight and the others,” Jack explained. “I didn’t think the Elements of Harmony were a viable option, so I did what I thought I had to.”

“Suicide!??” Shining Armor spat. “You tried to cast a curse that would have cost your own life! Does living mean so little to you!?”

“I guess not,” Jack shrugged, nodding to his pants hanging on the door. “Could you pass me the bag in my pocket?”

Shining Armor plucked the small Ziplock baggie of weed from Jack’s pants and levitated it into Jack’s free palm.

“Twiliy… the Elements of Harmony were able to reverse their corruption and return Discord to stone,” he explained. “They’re at the castle getting medals for defeating Discord. That brooch is on the table is yours. Since you were wounded….”

“I’m getting a Purple Heart?” Jack asked as he rolled his weed in paper. “Can you get my lighter from the other pocket?”

Shining Armor yanked the Zippo from the pants and dropped it on Jack’s stomach.

“Thanks,” Jack said, lighting his joint.

“You’re lucky to be alive,” Shining Armor sighed. “Even more lucky you won’t face tribunal. Why in Celestia’s name did you leave a suicide note in your friends’ clubhouse? They had to be hospitalized because there was tree sap in their blood. Which brings me to why you’re in here.”

“Lay it on me,” Jack said, before blowing a smoke ring.

“Do you even care that you got your friends hurt?!” Shining Armor asked in exasperation.

“You’d have told me if their injuries were serious,” Jack said.

“They’re lucky it only got up to their hooves!” Shining Armor shouted. “Almost all of your blood has been replaced with tree sap! Your body rejected what little actual blood you had left! If you’d attempted that spell without the Chaos of Nature, you’d be dead!”

“I could be but I’m not,” Jack sighed.

“Get your act together!” Shining Armor shouted. “The Elements of Chaos and Flash Sentry’s rebels have been quiet since the Battle of Canterlot, but they won’t stay quiet. I need you ready and I need you not to be a liability.” He gave one last glare before shutting the door behind him and leaving.

“FUCK!!!” Jack shouted.

“You did this to yourself,” Emerald Jack said.

“I don’t care what I did to myself,” Jack hissed mentally. “I wanted to protect my friends. I was willing to give my life to keep them safe, but I only got them hurt. I didn’t even defeat Discord, Twi and them did that while I struggled to stay conscious! I’m fucking useless!”

Author's Note

Not really satisfied with this chapter, but work's been exhausting me lately so I'll deal with fixing it later. The new park manager has been implementing a lot of changes like making us do two check-out patrols instead of one, docking our pay if we take longer than 30-minute lunch breaks, and completely micromanaging our work. The other rangers are talking about quitting if he doesn't chill out.

Next Time: Jack finds himself stuck in a wheel chair for the next few days as Ponyville holds its running of the leaves to clear the autumn leaves and make way for the first snows of Winter.

Chapter 4: Fall Weather Friends (Last Edited 11/9/2022)

December 8, 2020

Fluttershy’s Cottage

Jack had been put in a wheelchair after he was discharged from the hospital. It was only a temporary measure until his body recovered from the blood rejection. For most, the near-death experience would prompt thoughts of how fragile one’s life is and how they could prevent a repeat incident. Not Jack though. He no longer cared much about self-preservation, but what he did care about was the safety of his friends. Friends he’d failed spectacularly.

Jack had done everything he could think of to keep what had happened to the Crusaders out of his mind and now he was resorting to reading the paper. After skimming past a piece on the drama between Cherry Berry and Cherry Jubilee, a bit on the Wonderbolts resuming performances after the recovery of Spitfire, and speculation about how much information on Canterlot’s attackers Prince Blue Blood might let slip in his upcoming trial, Jack found himself reading about Equestria’s industrial revolution.

Books from the Lowcountry had hit the Equestrian market in a storm and while the reverse engineering of human technology was proving to be a slow process, innovation was rapid nonetheless. Equestrian shipping had gone from sail to paddle steamer and the navy was experimenting with screw propellers and ironclad armor. In the army, crossbows had been adopted until supplies of gunpowder from the east could be secured enough to justify small firearms. Catapults were being replaced by cannons which had previously been used only by the Navy for combat and at parties for shooting confetti. In the sky, Zeppelins were becoming a common sight and experiments similar to the Wright Flyer were being conducted. Compound locomotives were replacing the likes of the Friendship Express which was more akin to the ones used at the time the Transcontinental Railroad was finished. Steam-powered tractors, rollers, and even cars were becoming a thing. (Though the latter was proving unreliable and unsafe.) Primitive light bulbs and telegraphs were being installed across the nation and there were even experiments involving television.

“You know nopony blames you for what happened, right?”

Putting the paper down Jack could see Fluttershy watching him from the kitchen.

“Yeah I’m sure Apple Jack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash are real understanding after what happened to the Crusaders,” Jack said, rolling his eyes.

“Angel!” Fluttershy called. “I know you checked the mail for me today. There should’ve been a letter for Jack.”

The Bunny slumped over to a cabinet where he’d attempted to stash the letter.

“You know it’s not nice to hide pony’s mail,” Fluttershy scolded as Angel begrudgingly brought the letter to Jack. “You should open it now, Jack. I think it might be just what you need.”

Manipulating the plant matter in the envelope, Jack carefully extracted the contents.

GET WELL SOON!

Dear, Jack

While Discord played the rest of us like puppets on a string you took it upon yourself to fight back. You made mistakes, sure. We know you feel your entire life has been a series of those and we know you are having a hard time coping with those feelings. The Cutie Mark Crusaders have made a full recovery. Please understand that we are your friends no matter what. If you need to talk about something with any of us, you just need to ask. Friends are supposed to be open with and support each other through anything. You don’t need to give your life to protect us and you would have hurt us more in doing that than Discord could ever hope to.

Twilight Sparkle – Even if you didn’t win you were the only one of us Discord couldn’t corrupt

Rainbow Dash – Standing up to Discord on your own was Radical, dude!

Applejack - Rest up a bit, partner. We’ll have plenty for you to do at Sweet Apple Acres when you get better.

Rarity – It was truly noble of you to put your life on the line for us.

Pinkie Pie - There’s a get well soon party in your future, Jackie! There’s also Hearths Warming, and Your birthday is next month. Pinkie Promise me you’ll be here to enjoy them, ok.

Fluttershy – You’ll always be like a son to me. You can come to me with anything.

Spike – When you get better we should hang out.

Cutie Mark Crusaders – Looks like we saved this time.

“It’s the running of the leaves today,” Fluttershy said as Jack put the letter on the table. “I know you can’t really participate, but we’d all be happy if you decided to watch.”

“I guess I have nothing better to do,” Jack sighed emotionlessly.

“Oh wonderful!” Fluttershy exclaimed. “I just need to feed the chinchillas real fast and we can go.”

Jack waited until he was absolutely sure Fluttershy was gone before pulling out his lighter and joint.

“Just because you can control your high, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to smoke three times a day,” Emerald Jack lectured, once Jack inhaled.

“Gonna call the cops, dad?” Jack asked.

“I’m just asking you to practice moderation,” Emerald Jack sighed. “As far as coping mechanisms this is better than alcohol or cigarettes, but this is my body too, and you are damaging yourself.”

“Whatever,” Jack coughed, pulling a bag of chocolate chips off the top shelf with his magic.

“Don’t you think it’s degrading to use your power for something so petty?” Emerald Jack asked.

“I’m going to get hungry soon enough,” Jack retorted. “If I can manipulate the plant matter in the chocolate to solve that problem, why shouldn’t I?”

“You ready?” Fluttershy called.

Dowsing his joint and pocketing it, Jack called back. “Yep!”

White Tail Woods

“Welcome to the annual Running of the Leaves!” Pinkie Pie called from Twilight’s Balloon. “This is Pinkie Pie, your official p-eye-in-the-sky announcer.”

Fluttershy spotted Rarity and the Crusaders on the sidelines and wheeled Jack over.

“As we all know the Running of the leaves was postponed last month because we needed to be sure we’d be safe from those mean old terrorists who attacked the Gala,” Pinkie Pie explained. “But the leaves must fall and today is the day to make that happen!”

“Hello Fluttershy,” Rarity greeted. “Hello, Jack.”

“Hey, Rare,” Jack said weakly.

“How’re ya doin’?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I should be asking you that,” Jack said glancing at the other two Crusaders. “All three of you. I…” he choked. “I almost got you killed.”

“We’re all fine, Jack,” Sweetie Belle said. “We were worried about you, though.”

“Don’t ever do that again!” Scootaloo scolded, kicking Jack’s left thigh to get her point across.

“Ow! Ok, ok, I get it,” Jack said. “Never again.”

“Promise?” Scootaloo asked.

“I promise,” Jack agreed patting her head.

The ponies running formed up at the starting line. Jack wasn’t the least bit surprised to see Applejack and Rainbow Dash among them. Though they seemed to be having somewhat of a disagreement.

“Racers! Please take your positions!” Pinkie Pie called.

As Pinkie continued announcing Spike made his way up to the balloon.

“Um... Pinkie Pie?” he asked.

“Hey, Spike!” Pinkie greeted. “What's up? Oh wait, it's me! I'm up!” she giggled at her joke.

“Uh, yeah. I know you're doing the announcing today and stuff and...” Spike looked for a way to word his thoughts. “I'm sure you're gonna do a great job and all, but... I was just wondering....”

“What?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“Aw... forget it,” Spike sighed.

“Spike, would you like to be my co-reporter?” Pinkie Pie asked. “We could comment on the action together.”

“We could?” Spike asked hopefully.

“Climb on up!” Pinkie said cheerfully.

To Jack’s surprise, Twilight made her way up to the starting line rather than joining him in the stands. “She’s not going to race, is she?” he wondered. “AAAH!” he gasped as a sharp pain shot through his head.

“There are things you need to see.”

It was as if Jack had been whisked away to another location. The residents of Ponyville had disappeared instead he saw a group of five ponies surrounding a small filly crying her eyes out. He recognized two of them. Morte’s corpse-like body was unmistakable and the filly crying her eyes out in the center was nonother than Oni-Hime.

“What is this?” Jack wondered as he faded back to reality.

“All right, ponies, are you ready?!!” Pinkie asked.

“Get set!” Spike added.

The bell rang and the racers stormed from the starting line.

“And they're off!” Pinkie announced. “Welcome to the official coverage of the Running of the Leaves! You know, Spike, despite its name, the leaves don't do any of the actual running….”

“God damnit, Pinks,” Jack muttered as he faded out of consciousness again.

The image before Jack was of a large urban park thrown to chaos by Oni-Hime as she lunged at an orange filly.

The scene changed briefly to several ponies in lab coats surrounding a cylindrical metal object before he slowly faded back into consciousness.

“I don't believe it!” Spike announced. “After a huge setback, Applejack is back at the front of the pack.”

“She's the head of the pack, all right,” Pinkie agreed. “The pick of the litter! The cat's pajamas! Oh wait, why would Applejack take some poor kitty's PJs? That's not very sporting of her.”

“Oookay....” Spike replied awkwardly. “Let's get back to the race.”

Slowly Jack faded out once again.

Before him was a green-coated stallion with a crossed hooves cutie mark being led away in chains by an escort of Royal Guards.

The scene changed to Apple Bloom looking in horror at a fireplace in an abandoned cabin and then to a burning church.

Fading back to reality he found the race was still ongoing.

“Welcome back, Ponyvillians, it's me, Pinkie Pie,” Pinkie announced.

“And Spike,” Spike added. “Looks like Rainbow is doing her best to catch up.”

“I'm not sure how ketchup is going to help her in this contest,” Pinkie replied. “Now, in a hot dog eating contest it can make them doggies nice and slippery, but personally, I prefer mustard. How about you, Spike?”

Jack didn’t even get a chance to curse at Pinkie before he faded out again.

The scene in front of him was of Little Strongheart weeping in an empty camp, but this soon changed to himself staring in horror at a figure in a graveyard.

Finally, he saw a red bow next to the clay cross he’d received at confirmation surrounded in a sea of fire before he woke.

“Once again, Rainbow Dash and Applejack are neck and neck, jockeying for position,” Pinkie announced. “Applejack inches ahead, now it's Rainbow, it's Applejack, it's Rainbow Dash, it's Applejack....”

Jack rubbed his head, groaning from the steady ache as he watched Applejack tackle Rainbow Dash across the finish line. “What just happened?”

“They both lost,” Apple Bloom answered.

“I call shenanigans!” Scootaloo complained. “It had to be rigged! There’s no way Rainbow Dash could have lost to Twilight!”

“Lost?” Jack asked. “It’s only been a few minutes; it can’t be over yet!”

The Crusaders looked at Jack as if he’d just claimed the earth was hollow.

“What?” Jack asked, unnerved by the looks on his friend's faces.

“It’s been two hours, Jack,” Sweetie Belle answered.

Jack’s face paled, frantically looking toward the finish line he saw the bruised visages of Rainbow Dash and Applejack talking to Twilight who was wearing a medal indicating she’d finished in the top five. “What? How? When?” Jack didn’t even give his friends a second glance. “I-I need to go,” he stuttered, pushing his way out of the crowd and ignoring protests from ponies in his way.

Deeper in the woods

“I need answers!” Jack declared. “I need answers. I need answers. I need answers now!”

He ripped another joint from his pocket, lit it, shoved it in his mouth, and inhaled over the course of only five seconds.

“Another one already?” Emerald Jack asked.

“Shut up and give me answers!”

“About?”

“Those visions!” Jack snapped. “Was that you, the weed, or Jade Jack?”

“None of the above,” Emerald Jack answered. “When we first spoke, I told you I was a gift. Naturally for me to be a gift there has to be a gift giver, yes?”

“Is it necessary for you to word it like a piece of apologetics?” Jack asked. “Wait who is this gift giver and what do they have to do with the visions.”

“I won’t say who he is, but I assume he wanted to warn you about something,” Emerald Jack said. “Perhaps you should ask Zecora about what you saw. She seems the type to decipher visions.”

Author's Note

I'll be honest I've been seriously lacking in motivation this go-round and I know it reflects. I'll fix it at some point, but I have a lot going on right now. I had an interview for a full-time ranger position at another park (I'm only an assistant ranger right now) but I didn't get the job. My Uncle died last weekend and now I have his funeral to go to next Wednesday. I also have another interview for a full-time ranger position coming up at the park I currently work at. Midterms went better than I was expecting so I guess that's good. I live in Georgia though, so I'll have to vote in the run-off.
Next Time: Jack goes to Zecora about his vision, and after he's whisked away for special training by a secret agent and an eccentric scientist.

Chapter 5: Sweetie Drops (Last Edited: 1/15/2023)

December 9, 2020

Zecora’s Hut

“In coming to me you’ve chosen rightly,” Zecora said, “for visions are not something to be taken lightly.”

“So, what do I do?” Jack asked.

“What’s seen in visions has meaning,” Zecora said. “It’s into that you should be leaning.”

“You’re saying what I saw was the future?” Jack asked.

“It is as you have deduced,” Zecora affirmed. “But it’s up to you what results are produced.”

“I think I understand,” Jack said. “You’re saying I can use what I’ve seen in my visions to prepare for the future and achieve more favorable results.”

“Good,” Zecora said. “I’m glad my words are understood.”

“Thanks, Zecora,” Jack said, bowing his head

Bon Bon’s Confectionary

After Speaking with Zecora Jack had a craving for something sweet. He wasn’t really feeling like baked goods at the moment, so candy was definitely on the menu. He’d had his eye on this particular candy shop for a few days now and was looking forward to trying its wares. However, no sooner had he opened the door then he was ambushed by a mint green blur.

“Jack!?” Lyra asked. “Long time no see! I heard you’d come back from the Lowcountry, but you never came to see me,” she pouted. “Did you bring me a souvenir?” she asked hopefully.

“Souvenir?” Jack asked. “Uh…” he fished in his pocket for something the human-obsessed mare would be into. Dragging out a Smarties wrapper he said, “here?”

“What is it?! What is it?! What is it?!” Lyra squealed.

“It’s a candy wrapper,” Jack answered nervously. “Smarties are pretty popular in America.”

“Tell me more!” Lyra demanded.

“Uh, their biggest rival is Sweet Tarts which is owned by an Italian company,” Jack began. “While most candy brands are owned by bigger companies Smarties is owned by an independent company of the same name, but I think the candy goes by a different name in other countries to avoid confusion with another candy with the same name. Me and my buddies used to ground them up and snort them like a drug when we were in elementary school.”

“Drugs?” Lyra asked, eyes wide in shock. “I’ve read about those. They’re substances that humans use to make themselves hallucinate, right? You did that as a foal?”

“No, no, no, no!” Jack quickly denied. “Smarties don’t have any hallucinogenic effects. Not all drugs are hallucinogens either, but smarties aren’t drugs. We only did it because the adults made us sit through cringy anti-drug seminars and we thought it was funny.”

“Oh,” Lyra said. “That makes more sense.” Her face brightened up. “So, what brings you here today?”

“I ran out of snacks and heard this place had good candy,” Jack answered. “Figured I’d give it a shot. What brings you here?”

“I live here,” Lyra answered.

“But this is a candy shop,” Jack pointed out.

“My roommate owns the shop,” Lyra explained. “We live in the apartment upstairs.”

“Really?” Jack asked. “That must be nice!”

“Yeah, Bon Bon’s great!” Lyra said. “You want to meet her?”

“I mean I was just about to buy some candy from her,” Jack said.

“Well that will have to wait, she went on the break five minutes ago,” Lyra explained. “Come on in! I’ll introduce you!”

Jack shrugged, “uh, ok,” he said following her inside.

Lyra led him behind the counter into a combination kitchen/living room space similar to what he’d had in his old apartment in Conway.

Standing by the counter eating a hayburger was a familiar mare.

“You were the one who came by Fluttershy’s on Nightmare Night with the free samples!” Jack said. “Wait you’re Bon Bon?”

“I’m pretty sure Lyra told you my name when she introduced us a few months ago,” Bon Bon answered. "And I told you again when we spoke on Nightmare Night."

“I’m so sorry!” Jack apologized with a bow. “I’m terrible with names!”

“That’s fine,’ Bon Bon giggled. “It’s been well over a month since then. I can’t blame you for forgetting.”

"I completely forgot I'd already introduced you two!" Lyra gasped. "My bad."

Jack soon found himself drinking cider with the two mares and having a lively conversation about humanity.

“Oh no our species were idiots!” Jack laughed. “Some people thought Equus is only 6000 years old, and that’s not even scratching the surface! Thousands of humans thought Equus was flat! Flat!” Jack clenched his sides. “Some of them even formed the Flat Equus Society which they bragged had members, get this, all across the globe! The globe!”

“Are you sure they weren’t just having fun?” Lyra asked. “Like the ones who said birds were robots your government used to spy on people?”

“Oh no,” Jack responded catching his breath. “They were dead serious!”

“Well, this has been an interesting conversation, but I need to get back to work,” Bon Bon said.

Jack felt a weight in his pocket as she passed. Reaching inside he found a note that wasn’t in there before.

Meet me in the park at 18:00

Jack looked back to see Bon Bon passing through the door.

Ponyville Park

18:00 was 6:00 PM in military time. Jack was immensely suspicious of Bon Bon’s motives, but he’d decided to throw caution to the wind and meet at the designated time. “Is this some sort of trap?” he wondered, passing by a sizable oak. “But what would she have to gain?”

“Pst…” a voice whispered from behind the tree. “Over here!”

Jack whipped around to see Bon Bon peeking out from behind the oak. Except she was wearing shades, a tuxedo, and had a grappling hook wrapped around her waist. “What in the name of Comicon are you wearing?” he asked.

Clearly, this wasn’t meant to be an ambush. Letting his guard down a bit Jack followed Bon Bon behind the tree to see she was accompanied by two other ponies, former representative Time Turner and Ponyville’s lazy-eyed mail mare Derpy Hooves.

“What… is this?” Jack asked.

“We are agents of the EIA,” Bon Bon said.

“Huh?” Jack asked. “Bon Bon, what the Hell is the EIA?”

“The name is Sweetie Drops,” Bon Bon said. “Bon Bon is just an alias I’ve been using since I retired from monster hunting.” She nodded to the others. “They have them too. Derpy Hoove’s real name is Ditzy Doo and Time Turner here is Hourglass Whooves.”

“I prefer Doctor Whooves, actually,” Time Turner said. “I didn’t get a Ph.D. at the Royal Academy of science for nothing!”

“The EIA is Equestria’s intelligence agency,” Sweetie Drops explained. “It was established in Article 5 of Equestria’s Constitution just last month. I’m a field agent, but these two are both members of our research and weapons development branch.”

“I guess it makes sense that Equestria would take ques from more modern aspects of American government,” Jack noted. “But why are you telling this to me? Shouldn’t you keep your assignments on a need-to-know basis?”

“Well considering you are our assignment,” Sweetie Drops said. “I’d say you need to know.”

“What?!!” Jack gasped.

“Apart from the Alicorn Princesses, your Chaos of Nature is Equestria’s most dangerous military asset,” Doctor Whooves said. “Your enlistment in the E.U.P is classified Top Secret and while you’ve proven effective in battle you’ve also shown yourself to be insubordinate and you have a clear animosity towards the president.”

“So, you’re here to assassinate me if I go rogue?” Jack asked, his heart pounding as his fight or flight instinct kicked in.”

Ditzy Doo nodded. “That’s right.”

Seeing Jack was about to make a break for it Sweetie Drops tossed her grappling hook in front of his legs, causing him to trip. “You don’t have anything to worry about now,” she said. “You haven’t been designated a threat.”

“Our orders, for now, are to help develop your powers and increase your potency as an asset,” Doctor Whooves explained.

“And how do you plan to do that?” Jack grunted; face planted in the ground.
“Simple,” Doctor Whooves answered. “Ditsy?”

“Yes, Doctor?” Ditzy asked.

“You can release the bugbear now.”

“The what now?” Jack gulped.

Ditzy pulled out a remote and pressed a large red button. To Jack’s horror, a cage opened from across the park revealing what looked to be a cross between a panda and a hornet.

“How’d we miss that?” Emerald Jack asked.

“I don’t know!” Jack snapped.

“The Doctor wants to get a feel for what you are capable of,” Sweetie Drops explained. “Be sure to show everything you have, so he can get good data!”

“I’m beginning to think I don’t like any of you!” Jack snapped, leaping into action. “That stinger looks like it could do some real damage. Some armor wouldn’t hurt.”

Plunging his right fist into the oak tree, he stripped a layer of wood from the trunk and encased himself with his wooden armor. By this point, the bugbear had spotted him and was charging stinger first. Jack stripped about five dozen leaves from the tree and launched his razer projectiles toward the stinger.

Unfortunately, this had no effect and Jack had to dive out of the way as the stinger plunged into the ground he had been standing on. Unfortunately, he dove just in range of the bug bear’s jaw, and it clamped down on his torso.

“His armor’s impressive,” Sweetie Drops noted.

“The PSI of the average bugbear’s jaw is 5,000,” Time Turner noted. “Certainly, more than enough to crush oak. His magic must be reinforcing the wood in his armor.”

“What does PSI mean?” Ditzy asked.

As Doctor Whooves explained the concept to the confused mare Jack aimed three successive emerald blasts at the bugbear’s right eye. The sudden shock of his attack prompted the jaw to loosen just enough for Jack to roll out and plunge his fist back into the tree.

By Jack’s will the mighty oak exploded, jettisoning splintery shrapnel into the bugbear’s hide. The beast let out a roar of fury and swiped at Jack, who rolled to the side and shot a root out of the ground to bind the offending paw.

Slightly distracted Jack didn’t notice the stinger coming for his chest until it was too late. The bugbear’s weapon punched straight through Jack’s armor smashing it to pieces.

“Oh no!” Ditzy gasped. “He’s gonna die!”

“Take a closer look, my dear,” the Doctor instructed.

“Heh, heh,” Jack chuckled. “You knocked the wind out of me!”

To Ditzy’s surprise, Jack’s flesh had turned into mahogany wood, providing an extra layer of defense.

“Time to end this!” Jack shouted releasing thousands of spores into the air around the beast’s face.

The bugbear staggard before falling face first into….

“Oh shit!” Jack cried, realizing his folly. He was now trapped under the dying bear.

“This should suffice!” Doctor Whooves exclaimed. “Ditzy, could you get the winch?”

“Of course, Doctor!” Ditzy agreed.

“No need,” Jack said. In a flash, his body disappeared in a flurry of leaves that traveled through the air before reforming his body next to the Doctor.

“Fascinating!” the Doctor said, rushing off to organize his notes. Ditzy followed closely after him.

“Excellent work, there,” Sweetie Drops said. “Even I’d have trouble with a bugbear that size but you made it look easy. If only I had, you by my side when I was hunting the queen bugbear.” She sighed sadly, “things could have gone differently.”

Jack wasn’t in the mood for backstories, so he cut to the chase. “Why did Celestia send you, really?”

“The Elements of Chaos are on the move,” Sweetie Drops answered. “From what we’ve learned interrogating Blue Blood, many more of our troops have defected to their side, and they’ve been getting financial support from some of Equestria’s wealthiest ponies. We didn’t get any names though. Blutknochen is building a massive army. We don’t think he’ll be launching a massive attack any time soon, but he certainly still has his eyes on you. We can’t afford to lose you.”

Author's Note

Sorry, this is so late. A lot has been happening. I found out last month that I have a heart valve that doesn't close all the way and I'm seeing a cardiologist about that next week. I've also been putting in for promotions at my job. I've had three interviews at various SC parks for full time positions. I'm currently waiting to hear back from my last interview. If I get the promotion my pay will more than double, I'll get full benefits, and on park housing.

Next Time: Jack tries to settle back into life in Ponyvile, but Twilight's mental breakdown makes things difficult.

Chapter 6: Lesson Zero (Last Edited 3/16/2023)

December 11, 2020

Hayburger

“I’m glad you invited me out today, Dash,” Jack mumbled as he chewed his burger.” “It’s been a while since we hung out.”

“You can say that again,” Rainbow Dash chuckled.

“So, where too next?” Jack asked having swallowed his food.

“I was thinking we see which of us is a better fighter,” Rainbow Dash challenged. “Unless you’re too chicken!”

“Oh, you’re on,” Jack agreed. “Name the place!”

“The park in 3 hours!” Rainbow Dash declared. “I want the whole town to see me win!”

“Cocky,” Jack noted. “We’ll see how long that lasts.

“Excuse me!”

Jack and Rainbow Dash turned around to see Applejack staring at them.

“Ah couldn’t help but overhear the two of ya,” Applejack said. “Ah knows ya want tuh compete an’ all, but perhaps I could offer a different arena?”

“We’re listening,” Jack said.

Sweet Apple Acres: Barn

“With taxes down so much Big Mac an’ Ah thought It’d be a good time tuh make sum upgrades around the farm,” Applejack explained. “At first we were gonna have the barn professionally redone, but Big Mac thought it’d be more cost-effective tuh tare the whole thing down. That’s where the two of ya come in.”

“You want us to do your chores for you?” Rainbow Dash asked, unimpressed.

“Well, yes, but Ah thought ya could make a game out of it,” Applejack admitted.

“Can we use any method we want?” Jack asked.

“So long as the Barn’s torn down at the end of it, yes,” Applejack answered.

“Perfect,” Jack agreed.

Jack and Rainbow Dash hadn’t taken long to set up a competition. In only an hour Applejack, Jack, and Big Macintosh had dug a trench a hundred or so yards from the barn. The Apples were to use the trench to act as judges. In that time Rainbow Dash had painted a yellow line dividing the barn in half.

“The rules are simple!” Apple Bloom announced. “Each competitor will wreck one-half of the barn. A panel of four judges will grade the destruction on a scale of one to ten for speed, efficiency, and style. Please understand that any destruction to yer opponent’s side of the barn will mean ten points off yer final score. We will decide who goes first via coin toss!”

Applejack tossed a 1-bit coin in the air. “Heads Jack and tails Rainbow Dash!” She tossed the gold coin in the air, and it landed on the ground after a few flips. “Looks like heads!”

“Oh, that sucks for you, Dash!” Jack taunted, cracking his knuckles. “I won’t make this an easy act to follow!”

“Oh yeah?!” Rainbow Dash challenged. “Why don’t you put your bits where your mouth is?!”

“Heh,” Jack chuckled snapping on his safety goggles. “As you wish!” He held his palm open facing the barn, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. His half of the barn glowed emerald. Slowly and neatly each board was plucked from the barn before floating into a pile by the road. “There’s no need for a mess,” Jack smugly chided. “A professional keeps recycling in mind.”

“And now the judges will give us their scores!” Applejack announced.

The Apple Family held up their scorecards. Apple Bloom 10, Granny Smith 5, Big Macintosh 8, Applejack 9.

“Rookie Numbers!” Rainbow Dash taunted. “You didn’t even need those goggles!”

“A professional always keeps safety in mind,” Jack countered. “Let’s see you do better!”

“Be careful what you wish for!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed taking to the sky.

Jack smirked as he watched Rainbow Dash flying around the barn using pure momentum to kick the walls and support beams down bit by bit. “I win.”

“Rainbow Dash stop!”

Jack looked on bemusedly as Twilight Sparkle stopped Rainbow in her tracks with a telekinetic hold on her tail.

“Listen, Rainbow,” Twilight began her lecture. “I know you're upset with Applejack, but don't worry. Whatever it is that has come between you two, I'm sure that I, as a good friend, can help you resolve your problems.”

“Uh, what are you talking about?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Oh, Rainbow Dash, you don't have to hide your feelings from me!” Twilight said smugly. “I can tell you two must've had a terrible fight.”

Jack and Applejack exchanged confused glances as Twilight sat Rainbow Dash on a bench and pulled out a notepad.

“Now, why don't you tell me all about your issues with Applejack,” Twilight requested.

“I don't have any issues with Applejack,” Rainbow Dash explained.

“You don't?” Twilight asked confusedly. “Then why are you destroying her property?”

“Because she asked me to,” Rainbow Dash explained. “Right, Applejack?”

“Yes, ma'am,” Applejack confirmed. “Ah wanted tuh put up a new barn, but this ones gotta come down first. Hehe. Now get back to it, R.D.”

“You got it, boss!” Rainbow Dash explained, taking to the sky.

“I'd take cover if I were you,” Applejack cautioned.

Twilight yelped and did as instructed as Rainbow Dash dove full speed toward the remains of the barn pulverizing it in a rainbow-colored mushroom cloud.

“It’s like they decided to celebrate pride month at the Nevada Test Site,” Jack thought to himself.

Having recovered from the sudden shock, Twilight sighed in defeat as she walked away.

“What was that all about?” Jack asked.

“Tuh Tartarus if Ah, know,” Applejack chuckled.

“What’s my score?!” Rainbow Dash called.

“Ah give it a four,” Applejack answered. “What about Y’all?”

“Three!” Apple Bloom answered.

“Six,” Big Mac answered.

“Eight!” Granny Smith called.

“What?!” Rainbow Dash cried in dismay. “How did I lose with an explosion that big?!”

“Because ya made a huge mess we’re gonna have to clean up later,” Applejack scolded.

“That bein’ said yers was more stylish,” Granny Smith said.

“I demand a recount!” Rainbow Dash protested.

“No one likes a sore loser, Dash,” Jack chided. “Hey Bloom, wanna find Scoots and Sweets and go crusading?”

“Of course!” Apple Bloom beamed.

Ponyville Park

After a few hours of Crusading, the CMCs gave up and opted to look for something else to do.

“Too bad park management didn’t work out,” Scootaloo sighed.

“Speak for yourself,” Jack said. “I could see myself as a ranger. Honestly, I still don’t get why you ponies are so obsessed with these Cutie Marks. Humans don’t get them, and I’d say we’re better off for it.” Truthfully that was the career path he’d been aiming for before coming to Equestria, but he couldn’t exactly explain that to the Crusaders lest they catch on to the last bit of sensitive information about himself he’d managed to keep from them.

“You just don’t get it,” Sweetie Belle sighed.

“Well, what should we do now, guys?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Beach balls!” Shouted a pony. “Get your beach balls here. Nice sunny day out! Why not spend it passing a ball back and forth between your friends?!”

“Bit chilly for beach ball,” Jack muttered. “Eh what the heck,” he shrugged. “I’ll take one!”

Soon the Crusaders had a lively game of beach ball going.

“Heads up Scoots!” Jack exclaimed, leaping in the air and spiking it at the young filly. Secretly he’d been trying to make use of plant matter within the plastic to guide the ball where he wanted but he hadn’t had much success on that front.

“I got it!” Scootaloo shouted. Her attempt to headbutt the ball like a soccer goalie fell short and the ball only moved a few feet before settling in the grass.

Again, Jack attempted to manipulate the plastic with his magic. To his surprise the bull bursts in a violet explosion. For a split-second, Jack thought he’d tapped into the long-dead phytoplankton within the petroleum product, but to his horror where the beach ball once sat now stood a disheveled Twilight staring at them like an escaped mental patient.

“Hiiiiiii, guys!” Twilight said, twitching her eyes a few times.

“Oh, hi, Twilight,” Apple Bloom greeted. “How's it go…?”

“Gr-eat. Just great,” Twilight interrupted, a bead of sweat crawling down her face as her eyes twitched menacingly. “You three look like you're doing great too!” she exclaimed slowly approaching the Crusaders as they backed away from her. “Looks like four good friends who obviously don't need the help of another good friend,” she held up a raggedy doll and passed it over to them with her magic. “This is Smarty Pants. She was mine when I was your age, and now I want to give her to you!”

“Uhh... she's... great?” Scootaloo said.

“Yeah. Great,” Apple Bloom agreed halfheartedly.

“I really... like her... mane?” Sweetie Belle tried to compliment.

“Twi, this is a piece of garbage,” Jack said reaching for his knife. “What the Hell is going on here?”

“SHE IS NOT!” Twilight cried. “She even comes with her own notebook and quill, for when you want to pretend she's doing her homework!”

“Twi, you’re scaring me,” Jack said raising his knife in a fighting stance.

Sweat poured down Twilight’s face as she stared at Jack like a cornered animal. “Ooh, you're going to like Smarty Pants. And you're going to like her more than anything!” her horn flashed violet.

Jack braced for an attack but was confused when nothing hit him. “What did you do?” he asked.

Scootaloo gasped. “I want it!”

“I need it!” Apple Bloom said.

“I really like her mane!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed.

“What the?!” Jack reeled around to see the doll had become immensely more attractive to him.

“Careful!” Emerald Jack cautioned. “I’m sensing strong chaos readings from that doll!”

Resisting the urge to pounce on the doll Jack reached into his pocket and lit a joint. Inhaling a lungful of Marry Jane gave him the clarity to see the doll for what it was.

Unfortunately, the girls were already fighting over the doll and had descended into a ball of violence.

“The 'want it, need it' spell. Works every time,” Twilight bragged.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!” Jack roared, planting his fist firmly into her muzzle.

“Ow!!!!!” Twilight cried snapping out of her insanity. “What was that for?”

“What the fuck was this for?!!!” Jack countered pointing to the girls fighting over the doll.

“I-I just needed something to report to Presid….”

“FIX IT!!!!!!!” Jack howled.

“O-ok,” Twilight whimpered her horn glowing lavender. “Uh, slight problem with that… I don’t know how.”

Jack looked like he was about to explode as he brought the joint back to his mouth and took a deep breath. “Then I guess we’ll have to take it from them.”

“Uh just one problem with that,” Twilight pointed behind Jack. “It looks like everypony in the park is after it now.”

Indeed, no less than twenty ponies were now fighting over the doll leaving Jack and Twilight with no option but to make chase. Soon they found themselves face-to-face with the rest of the Mane Six who were very much confused.

“Don't look at it!” Twilight cautioned diverting Rainbow Dashe’s eyes from the doll.

“Don’t look at what?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“My Smarty Pants doll!” Twilight answered. “I enchanted her and now everypony is fighting over her!”

“Why would you enchant your doll?” Fluttershy asked.

“Oh, I had to do something!” Twilight weaseled. “I had nothing to report to Princess Celestia! I thought if I couldn't find a problem, I'd make a problem! The day is almost over!”

“That’s what this was about!” Jack exclaimed his eyes flickering between blue and jade. “Are you fucking kidding me!” His eyes shot solid Jade and he shot a beam toward Twilight.

“EEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOUUUUGH!” howled Celestia who’d teleported between them and blocked the beam.

This snapped Jack out of it just long enough for him to light another joint and suppress Jade Jack back into the depths of his subconscious.

“Meet me in the library, Twilight,” Celestia ordered firmly. “Jack, stay right where you are. Luna will be here shortly.”

Jack had plenty of time to dwell on what had happened. No matter how bad what Twilight did was, he still had no good reason to attack like that. He’d be sent to the dungeon for sure and with Jade Jack rising to the surface again it might be for the best. After half an hour when it was good and dark, Luna finally arrived and ushered him into her chariot.

Author's Note

Sorry this took so long. I've been pretty busy lately. A bunch of stuff I didn't take care of when I moved is coming back to bite me. I didn't update my vehicle registration until a few weeks ago and found out that in order to get my new license plate and vehicle tags I need to get a Georgia insurance policy. I finally changed my insurance but haven't had a chance to go and get my new plate and tags despite the fact my current tag expired in January. I didn't update my address with the post office or IRS either and now my previous employer sent my W2 to my old address and I can't get it forwarded. I'm in the process of struggling with my old employer to get a new copy sent to my current address and I will need to send a form into the IRS to make sure my return gets sent to the correct address. Adulting is a pain.
Next Time: As Jack learns what Luna has planned, the Elements of Chaos discuss plans for their next move.

Chapter 7: A Minor Setback (Last Edited 3/30/2023)

December 12, 2020

Badlands: Unmarked Cave

“Ponyfeathers!” Hoity Toity scowled at Blutknochen. “You’re plan failed harder than orange with yellow stripes!”

“You’ve ruined our lives!” Cherry Jubilee added. “We’ll all be branded as traitors now and we have nothin’ to show fer it!”

“Actually, it’s just my life that’s been ruined,” Flash Sentry sighed. “There shouldn’t be anything that could be traced back to either of you.”

“Well in that case I’m leaving!” Hoity Toity scoffed. “Hmmpf!” As he turned to exit the cave the mouth was consumed with flame.

“You’re not going anywhere!” Dammned chuckled.

Canterlot Castle: Dungeons

Luna had taken Jack back to the newly repaired castle to discuss the prior day’s events. Deep underground she was now interrogating him.

“I understand it’s difficult to contain the Jade entity,” Luna said. “I don’t wish to have you isolated, but for the safety of Equestria, I will do what I must. If you have an alternative now is the time to explain.”

Jack reached into his pocket and fished out a baggie of pot.

“What is this?” Luna asked, squinting her eyes curiously.

“Marijuana,” Jack explained.

Badlands: Unmarked Cave

“It is true that phase eins of mein plan has nicht gone as ich had hoped,” Blutknochen admitted. “However we have eine opportunity now. The attack is news all über Equus. Those mit animosity toward Equestria und her new government will rally to join uns. It won’t be long before we have another opportunity to strike at Equestria’s heart.”

“And you want us to continue providing funds?” Filthy Rich asked.

“Ja, that is correct,” Blutknochen nodded.

“And if we refuse?” Filthy Rich asked.

“Then vous will make un excellent test subject pour mon new virus!” Malade answered.

Canterlot Castle: Dungeons

“Explain to me what this marijuana does,” Luna requested.

“By burning it and inhaling the smoke, I’m able to reduce any kind of stress that risks empowering Jade Jack,” Jack explained.

“I see…” Luna paused, “so, it’s some sort of drug then?”

“Yes,” Jack answered. “It’s how I’ve held out so long to begin with. It’s a depressant so it inhibits a lot of stimulation that Jade Jack uses to take control.”

“A depressant?” Luna asked. “Are there perhaps stronger depressants you could use?”

“I mean yeah, but I’m not sure that would be a good idea in my current state,” Jack answered.

Badlands: Unmarked Cave

“So what exactly is the plan?” Flash Sentry asked.

“For the time being, Filthy Rich, Cherry Berry, und Hoity Toity shall continue acquiring resources and finances for our endeavor und they shall recruit other nobles und business ponies with sympathies for our cause,” Blutknochen explained. “You und your troops shall remain on standby to aid mein freundes in their tasks.”

The three business ponies exchanged worried looks, but Flash Sentry looked on firmly. “And what exactly is it you expect me to help your ponies with?”

“Malade has concocted ein little surprise for Equestria’s leaders,” Blutknochen said. “We’ll need to test that before we proceed further.”

“It will be merveilleux,” Malade giggled.

“Løgner’s power of persuasion ist unmatched,” Blutknochen continued. “He will be tasked with retrieving assets we lost in the Battle of Canterlot.”

“It will be done,” Løgner said with a smirk.

“Morte’s ability will be key to our plan,” Blutknochen continued. “How many corpses have you raised?” he asked Morte.

“I have raised over quindicimila per me esercito,” Morte rasped. “All that’s left is to retrieve some pedine I left in the Everfree Forest some centuries ago.”

“An army of fifteen thousand zombies?” Flash Sentry asked himself. “What pawns could he have left in the Everfee?”

“Gutten, gutten,” Blutknochen said with a malicious grin. “There are some artifacts Ich want recovered from der Menschenland.”

“If you mean firearms my men have already recovered sufficient stockpiles from the Lowcount…”

“Nein Dummkopf!” Blutknochen scolded. “Ich have nicht use for such trinkets! Was ich am after ist something much more powerful. Der Mensch create many artifacts of worship. In their world these artifacts are worthless beyond der fact der Mensh think they have worth, but here they hold real power. They can be volatile if handled incorrectly so Ich will be tasking Dammned with their retrieval.”

“Why am I getting the most boring job of them all?!” Damned protested, sparks shooting from his mane.

“You will need to take on eine division of Equestrian soldiers to even reach der artifacts, und they will surly call for reinforcements when you defeat them,” Blutknochen said. “That just leaves Oni-Hime who should be arriving with our newest ally shortly.

“I have her right here, Otosan!” Oni-Hime called as she entered the room with a large insectoid-looking mare.

“Ich would like to introduce you all to, Queen Chrysalis,” Blutknochen said coldly.

“Charmed I’m sure,” Chrysalis said smugly.

Canterlot Castle: Dungeons

“I understand your concerns, Jack,” Luna said. “And I want you to understand I only wish to help you. I owe you and Twilight Sparkle that much at least for all the help you gave me last Nightmare Night.”

“I trust you, Luna,” Jack assured. “I just don’t think you understand how dangerous some of these drugs are. Weed is harmless. The only harmful side effect is how fast it makes me empty poor Flutter’s fridge. Stronger depressants aren’t so harmless. At best I could try alcohol which risks severe physical and mental impairment and at worst I could try Opioids and end up suicidal.”

“Then we shall have to find another way,” Luna mused. “We shall have to find another way.”

Author's Note

I'm not all that satisfied with how this one came out but I'll fix it eventually. Things are so hectic right now. I have to balance my regular work schedule with on-the-job training sessions, applying for promotion openings at other parks, and interviewing for those positions all across the state. That's on top of medical appointments dealing with how fucked my taxes are since I moved to Georgia but still work in South Carolina (and forgot to update my address)

Chapter 1: Return (Last Edited: 8/11/2022)

June 5, 2014

Edisto River

When Jack was still a child his parents would take him and the Circle of Bros tubing down the Edisto River at least once a year. The Edisto wasn’t a tidal river, so it always flowed in the same direction. So, his mom would leave her car parked downstream and his dad would take everyone to the landing they’d put in at.

“So how are the turtle eggs doing?” Jack asked Chase as they lazily floated down the river in their tubes. “Think they might hatch soon?”

“It’s been almost three months since she laid them,” Chase said. “Should be any day now.”

“Cool!” Jack exclaimed. “Think you might give me one of the hatchlings?”

“Yeah, bro,” Chase answered, ripples flowing from his tube as he gave Jack a fist bump. “You guys want some?” he called to Bryce and Shawn.

“I don’t think so,” Shawn said. “Between the science kits, the stuff I use to fix game consoles, and the exercise equipment, I don’t have anywhere to put an aquarium.”

“My parents won’t even feed me more than they have to,” Bryce scoffed. “Not a chance in Hell they’d buy a fish tank for an apostate like me.”

“Oh,” Jack said, a twinge of guilt in his voice.

“Well, this conversation is a fowner!” Chase interrupted.

“A what?” Jack asked.

“A Fuckin downer!” Chase answered.

“Language!” Jack’s mother called from behind them.

“Why don’t we play the Awkward Question game?” Shawn asked trying to change the topic. “Hey, Jack. I saw you talking with that Yuri girl from the grade above us.” Waggling his eyebrows, he asked. “What’s that about?”

Jack’s face went red as a cherry. “Well, uh, she just wanted to know if I could watch her dog next week.”

“Oh?” Bryce asked with a skeptical smirk. “You sure there’s nothing else going on?”

“I only wish I could say there was,” Jack answered.

“Weak, bro!” Chase sneered. “I got a better one. If all of us were drowning and you could only save one of us, who’d you pick?”

“I uh…” Jack started. “That’s a tough one… I guess I’d try to save all of you?”

“Lame!” Chase snorted.

“Why do you always have to be so honest with these?” Shawn asked.

“Yeah,” Bryce chuckled. “I mean if you said you wouldn’t save any of us, we’d know you were joking.”

“I just don’t feel comfortable joking like that,” Jack said, awkwardly shifting his eyes away from his friends. “I don’t want any of you to die. When I say I’d try to save all of you I mean it.”

“What a stand-up guy!” Shawn laughed.

“I don’t know, Shawn,” Chase smirked. “He’s doing that weird thing where he looks the other direction while talking again. Maybe he would let us all drown!”

“I would not!” Jack whined as his friends continued cracking jokes at his expense.

December 5, 2020

Lowcountry: Mayfield Park

Jack looked solemnly at the graves he’d made for his friends and family. He’d gone so long clinging to the hope he’d see them again. That he could make amends. But that hope was long gone. All he could do now was say his final goodbyes in front of the ornate gravestones he’d carved with his magic.

Larissa Margaret Jager

September 3, 1963-June 2, 2020

“I’m sorry you never got to see me and Mark get along,” Jack said sniffing as he held back a sob. Pulling out a photograph of him next to the Leaning Tower of Pisa he said, “I know you wanted to see pictures of my trip, so I printed these out and had them laminated.” Jack chuckled as he placed the photo next to the grave. “I had to break into the ranger’s office at Colonial Dorchester, though.”

Steven Baines Jager

June 18, 1965-June 2, 2020

“I never did end up making something of myself,” Jack said, his eyes watering. “Sorry, dad.”

Marcus Fitzgerald Jager

January 23, 2001-June 2, 2020

“I was never the big brother you needed,” Jack said, a single tear falling from his left eye. “Worse than that I was nothing more than a bully to you. You probably would have gotten over the rejection if I’d left you alone.”

Yuri Kagura Fujioka

March 5, 1998-June 2, 2020

“I never did get over you,” Jack said. “Well not until recently, but I don’t think that worked out for me any better.” Wiping his eyes he continued, “I understand why you spread those rumors about me. I didn’t kill your dog directly, but if I had just used a leash he wouldn’t have been run over.”

Shawn Gordon Habbers

April 5, 2000-June 2, 2020

“I never really felt I wronged you in any way, Shawn,” Jack said, wiping a bubble of snot from his nose. “Not in the way I wronged the others anyway. I was always jealous though… that you were the one Yuri ended up going out with and not me. So, I am sorry for that.”

Bryce Gunther Durkheim

November 26, 1998-June 2, 2020

Jack couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. They flowed like a waterfall. “If-if I hadn’t pushed into going behind yo-your parent’s backs you wouldn’t have b-been kicked out. I n-never know when to leave well enough alone!” Breathing heavily and wiping his face clean he said, “I failed all of you. Just like I failed Chase and for that I’m sorry.”

Jack made his way to the parking lot where he’d parked a John Deere Gator 4x2, he’d ‘borrowed’ from the state park.

He’d been using it to move around since he’d begun his self-imposed exile and naturally the back was filled with his provisions. Canned food, bug spray, a gas can, and a suitcase.

Turning the key, shifting gears, and releasing the parking brake, he raced up the hill. Looking behind him one last time he vowed. “I’ll never fail anyone again.

Summerville Airport

Jack’s Gator rolled onto the runway where a Royal Guard chariot awaited him. The sun was setting over the horizon as Jack stepped onto the cold asphalt.

“President Celestia has requested a briefing,” said the guard. “Should you not be opposed that is.”

“I have nothing to say to her,” Jack answered indignantly.

“She thought you might say that,” the guard said. “Should you change your mind she only asks you have Spike inform her.”

“Just take me to Ponyville!” Jack snapped.

“As you wish, Corporal Jager,” the guard complied.

Jack grunted as he moved his baggage from the Gator to the chariot.

December 6, 2020

Ponyville Town Square

After the Battle of Canterlot, a casualty list was sent out to each city town, and village in Equestria. Jack had been listed as injured and was reportedly bedridden in the Royal Canterlot Hospital. Until today that is. Though Jack’s position in the E.U.P was still a secret, the newly formed Department of Defense had seen fit he’d been injured protecting four of his classmates who’d snuck into the Gala without permission.

Despite it being a Sunday Cheerilee had assigned her students to make welcome home cards and asked the parents to send their foals to welcome Jack home as a class. Some were less than pleased.

“I can’t believe Daddy made me come here for that ape!” Diamond Tiara sneered.

“My daddy says it would look bad for the family if I wasn’t there to welcome the little war hero home,” Silver Spoon said, her eyes rolling like a pair of dice.

“Gross!” they exclaimed together.

While Jack had been listed as injured, another student had been listed among the dead.

“It’s hard to believe she’s gone,” Featherweight sighed.

“I won’t accept it!” Rumble growled. “It’s his fault!”

“Uh, what’s who’s fault,” Snails asked dopily.

“It’s Jack’s fault Sakura is dead!” Snips answered angrily.

“I don’t know, maybe we could listen to his side of the story?” Pip asked.

Yet others were elated to have Jack home.

“Thith could be your chanth, Apple Bloom,” Twist said excitedly.

“Ah don’ know, Twist,” Apple Bloom said. “What if he don’ feel the same?”

“You’ll never know if you don’t athk!” Twist chided. “If you don’t Thweetie Belle or Thootaloo might athk firtht.”

Apple Bloom looked to where her two best friends were arguing.

“When Jack gets back we can do some real hardcore crusading!” Scootaloo exclaimed with vigor.

“Don’t you think we should give him more time to rest?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“He’s had plenty of time!” Scootaloo yelled. “He went back to the Low….”

Sweetie Belle swiftly plugged Scootaloo’s mouth with a hoof. “We aren’t supposed to talk about you know where,” she cautioned.

Scootaloo spat her friend’s hoof out. “Oh yeah. Sorry.”

“Attention, everypony!” Cheerilee called. “If you look above you’ll see, Jack’s carriage approaching the town. Fluttershy and her friends have asked for ten minutes before we go see him so we’ll wait here for now.”

Ponyville Clock Tower

There was a field by the clock tower, just large enough for a chariot to land. No sooner had he landed, did Fluttershy body slam him into her embrace. Not that Jack wasn’t expecting it.

“I missed you so much!” Fluttershy exclaimed.

“I missed you too, mother,” Jack said brushing his hand through her mane.

“You missed us too, right?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“You know it, Dash!” Jack exclaimed, bumping his fist against her hoof as he wriggled free from Fluttershy’s grip.

“I managed to get your TV and Game consoles working while you were gone,” Twilight said. “Perhaps you’d like to show me how they work sometime?”

“Few things would make me happier right now, Twi,” Jack said. “Just give me a date and time and I’ll be there!”

“Ah hope yer ready tuh do sum work,” Applejack said. “There’s another leak in the barn roof an’ ah think Big Mac would appreciate the help.”

“Any time, AJ!” Jack agreed. “In fact…” Jack walked over to the back of the chariot and magically untwisted a few vines he’d used to strap the gator to his ride back. “I’ve brought something I think will help on the farm.”

“Ah’m not sure what that is, but if ya say it’ll help, then Ah believe ya!” Applejack said.

“I hope you’ll be willing to try the ensembles I’ve made for you while you were away,” Rarity said.

“Honestly I think I could use some new clothes,” Jack said. “Thanks, Rare. Where’s Pinks…. AHHHH!” Jack shouted as he was peppered with confetti.

“ITSSOGOODTOSEEYOUJACKIEICANTWAITFFORYOURWELCOMEHOMEPARTYITWILLBEAMAAAAAZING!!!!” Pinkie screamed.

“I’m sure it will, Pinks,” Jack said, his right eye twitching slightly as he smiled artificially. Knowing his anger was about to get the better of him, he looked around and saw Spike.

“Long time no see, purple dinosaur!” Jack exclaimed.

“I’ve told you a million times, I’m a dragon!” Spike whined.

“I know that!” Jack chuckled. “I’m just messing with you.”

When the 10 minutes were up Cheerilee’s class arrived to present their cards. Having taken his Zippo to the less pleasant cards while Cheerilee’s back was turned Jack was happy to receive cards from his friends.

“I s’pose I owe you an apology, Sweets,” Jack said. “Or at least a thanks.”

“Why?” Sweetie Belle asked, tilting her head in confusion.

“You figured out Sakura’s secret,” Jack said. “Even the no one else believed you, you still did everything you could to stop her! You must really care about me.”

“Well… I… um...” Sweetie Belle stammered. “We’re friends, right?”

“Of course, we are, Sweets,” Jack chuckled.

“I’ll bet you learned all sorts of cool moves with your magic!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

“In fact…” Jack answered. “I did, Scoots. Ooh, how about you gather everyone by the clock tower and I’ll show you!”

“Awesome!” Scootaloo agreed.

When everyone was gathered in place, Jack focused on a nearby tree. Placing a hand to the ground he shouted, “ROOT BIND!!” five thick roots burst from the ground like a kraken around the tree, curling up and binding the trunk with an inescapable grip.

“COOOL!” Scootaloo gasped.

“There’s more where that came from!” Jack boasted. “Splinter!!!!” he cried as the trunk exploded into chunks of bark and pulp.

“Radical!” Rainbow Dash shouted.

“But wait there’s more!” Jack bragged. “Wood Skin!” sure enough the texture and color of his skin changed to match that of a tree. “Apart from fire attacks, this move provides an excellent defense!”

“Fascinating!” Twilight called.

“But that’s not all!” Jack gloated. “Spore!!!!” thousands of tiny spores plumed from Jack’s mouth forming a cloud around him. “Just one of these spores could kill a mouse. This many could kill two ponies.”

“That’s kinda scary,” Fluttershy commented.

The Spores lit like a dry palm frawn as Jack flicked on his Zippo. “Also, highly flammable.”

As Jack walked back to his friends and classmates he saw Apple Bloom bringing her card.

“Good to see you, Bloom,” Jack said.

“Go for it!” Twist mouthed from afar.

“Ah, um…” Apple Bloom gulped. “Ah have somethin’ tuh tell ya.”

“Oh,” Jack gulped, sweating slightly. “Let’s hear it.”

“Ah… Ah… you…” Apple Bloom gulped again. “Ya got here jus’ in tahm fer our field trip to Canterlot Castle.”

Twist slammed a hoof into her face.

“On,” Jack said with a sigh of relief. “Well, I can’t wait then!”

Pinkie threw her party immediately after and by the time that was over Jack was ready to go to bed.

Fluttershy’s Cottage: Jack’s Room

As Jack sat in his bed he fished in his suitcase and pulled out a rolled-up piece of paper with a leafy green substance wrapped inside. Laying back and sticking one end in his mouth he lit the other end and inhaled the earthy flavor of his kush.

“You know that’s not good for you, right?” Emerald Jack asked.

“Are you going to lecture me every time I smoke?” Jack countered. “Does it look like I care?”

“You should,” Emerald Jack said.

“It keeps me calm and it keeps Jade Jack away,” Jack grunted. “What more do you want?”

“For you to find an actual solution to your problems for once,” Emerald Jack answered.

Author's Note

Hey, guys. It's sequel time!
Next Time: On their trip to Canterlot Castle, the Cutie Mark Crusaders accidentally release an ancient evil on Equestria. One who's more than familiar with humans and their magic.

Chapter 2: Return of Harmony Part 1 (Last Edited: 9/6/2022)

December 6, 2020

Canterlot Sculpture Garden

Canterlot had only partially been rebuilt from the battle a month prior. The scars from the fighting still remained throughout the city in the form of scorch marks on the city’s stone walls, the castle’s missing south tower, and the almost leveled slums.

One part of Canterlot that had remained untouched was the sculpture garden. A vast hedge maze filled with masterfully sculpted statues and fountains, this was where Cheerilee had opted to begin her field trip.

“I want to start our field trip here, in the world-famous Canterlot sculpture garden,” Cheerilee said as she led her class through the hedges. “That one over there represents friendship,” she explained nodding at a marble sculpture of three fillies playing.

Apple Bloom stopped abruptly to take a look and Jack, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle slammed into her. The four shot each other dirty looks. The four of them had lost a bet to Diamond Tiara earlier that day thanks to Scootaloo's stubbornness and had been fighting since.

“Alright, my little ponies,” Cheerilee called, nodding toward one of an upright mare holding a flag. “This one represents victory.”

“How cool would it be to have that for a cutie mark?” Scootaloo asked excitedly.

“Cool, if you were actually victoryful at somethin',” Apple Bloom chided.

“That's not a word!” Sweetie Belle shouted.

“What are you, a dictionary?” Scootaloo asked.

“The word is victorious,” Jack sighed.

“Foals!” Cheerilee scolded. “Now this is a really interesting statue,” she said pointing to a sculpture of a strange Frankenstein esq amalgamation of body parts. “What do you notice about it?”

“It's got an eagle claw!” exclaimed Apple Bloom.

“And a lion paw!” Scootaloo added.

“And a snake tail!” Sweetie Belle added.

Jack felt an eerie chill trickle down his spine as he stared at the statue in question. It was as if a part of him were screaming to run away, and another was compelling him to kneel in respect.

“This creature is called a Draconequus,” Cheerilee explained. “He has the head of a pony and a body made up of all sorts of things. What do you suppose that represents?”

“Confusion!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

Shoving her friend away Sweetie Belle shouted, “Evil!” only to be pushed away by Scootaloo.

“Chaos!” she exclaimed.

“It's not chaos, you dodo!” Sweetie Belle countered.

“Don't call me things I don't know the meaning of!” Scootaloo complained as Jack’s forehead began to throb. “And it is too chaos!”

“Is not!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, butting her head against Scootaloo’s.

“You're both wrong!” Apple Bloom declared as the argument devolved into physical blows and Jack clutched his pulsating chest.

For a second he could have sworn he saw a yellow glow from the statue’s chest.

“Actually, in a way, you're all right,” Cheerilee said, bringing the Crusader’s fight to a halt. “This statue represents Discord, which means a lack of harmony between ponies. In fact, you three have demonstrated discord so well that you're each going to write me an essay explaining it.”

The Crusaders pouted at the prospect of writing an essay as the rest of the class giggled at their misfortune.

“Now let's go, and I don't want any more fighting,” Cheerilee said.

The Crusaders continued bickering as the class followed Cheerilee, but Jack lingered around the statue. Fishing a joint and his Zippo from a pocket, his eyes flashed Jade ever so briefly. Wasting no time he stuck the joint in his mouth, lit it, and inhaled.

“We need to leave!” Emerald Jack screamed. The statue cracked around the stomach and then spread throughout the rest of the body. “Now!”

Jack took a step back and dropped his dope on the ground as the statue crumbled. Or rather the marble pealed off like flakes of dead skin to reveal living fur and scales beneath. In a flash, the statue turned into a living thing.

“I mean I can’t believe you still think you can beat me!” the being cackled hysterically before opening his eyes. “Wait… this isn’t right. Where are Celestia and Luna, what happened to my chaos, and…” Discord’s eyes locked on Jack, “what’s a human doing here?”

“I…” Jack stammered. “What… who are you?”

“Did Blutknochen not tell you about the spirit of chaos and disharmony?” the being asked. “I’m Discord, of course!”

“Wait, you know Blutknochen?” Jack asked, reaching into his other pocket.

“I’m insulted!” Discord exclaimed, sulking dramatically. “I’d have thought that old stiff would at least have the courtesy to mention his oldest pal! His partner in crime! His….”

“So you are with him!” Jack shouted, pulling a Berretta M9 from his pocket and emptying all 15 9mm rounds into his foe.

“What?” Discord questioned as the bullets slid out of his chest and the holes filled themselves. “Why would you attack me? Truly, I’m hurt.”

“You’re with him!” Jack said. “Of course, I attacked you!”

“Blutknochen?” Discord asked. “But you’re wi… wait!” Discord glared at Jack. “Why is your chaos so weak? It’s almost as if…” his eyes shot toward the discarded joint. “So that’s how it is,” he giggled. “You’re suppressing your true nature!”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Jack dismissed.

In a flash had transformed into a snake and coiled around Jack. “I think you do,” Discord said, dangling the joint in front of Jack’s face. “This isn’t the first time I’ve seen one of these, human. How many times a day does it take to keep the chaos contained?”

“None of your business!” Jack spat, jabbing the serpent with his knife.

Discord melted into a puddle, flowing back to his original position and returning to his initial form. “It’s sad,” he sighed. “You humans are the only species more chaotic than me, and yet you reduced yourself to this. Can you even use magic?”

“Why don’t we test that theory!” Jack roared, his eyes shooting emerald.

“Are sure this is a good idea?” Emerald Jack asked. “We haven’t tested….”

“I can do this!” Jack declared launching leaves from the nearby hedges at Discord.

In a flash, the leaves were changed to harmless holly petals.

“It’ll take more than leaves,” Discord chuckled. “Huh?” Roots burst from the ground beneath him only to turn into licorice as Discord grabbed them. “No dice!”

Jack chucked a pile of seeds at Discord, detonating them in a cloud of splinters around him.

“I must say acupuncture is quite welcome after all these centuries trapped in stone,” Discord cackled as the splinters popped out of his body.

Hardening his fists into mahogany clubs Jack moved in for close-quarters combat. “I’m not done yet!” he cried driving a left hook into Discord’s stomach. It had gone through as if he was bunching Jello but when Jack tried to pull out, he found his fist stuck firm.

“I can’t say I’m impressed,” Discord sighed as Jack helplessly tugged on his stuck arm.

“How about now!” Jack exclaimed exhaling a cloud of poisonous spores.

“Tisk tisk,” Discord said whisking the spores away with a hand fan. “Don’t you know chemical weapons are a war crime?”

Without warning, Jack’s hand was released from Discord’s grip and he went flying into a hedge.

“I wish I could say this was fun, but I have a world to turn upside down,” Discord scoffed. “Tell Celestia hi for me! TTFN!” with a flash and a pop he was gone.

Jack slowly picked himself up from the hedge. He couldn’t believe what had happened. A month of training in isolation and Discord had only been toying with him.

“We need to warn Celestia!” Emerald Jack warned.

Unfortunately, Celestia was the last pony Jack wanted to speak with.

Canterlot Castle: Throne Room

Like the rest of Canterlot, the throne room still bared the scars of the last battle. As far as Celestia was concerned the Castle should be the last building in line for repair.

The room didn’t serve any official purpose now that the new government had taken power, but Celestia couldn’t help but come here when she needed to think in peace.

“President Celestia!” a guard cried, interrupting her solace.

“What’s wrong?” Celestia asked.

“Corporal Jager is demanding an audience,” the guard reported.

“Demanding?” Celestia asked, surprised Jack wanted to speak with her at all.

“Celestia!” Jack shouted barging past the guard.

“Stand down, corporal!” the guard ordered.

“Let him speak,” Celestia said.

“I was in the sculpture garden,” Jack began. “One of the statues came to life and attacked me, said his name was Discord. I tried to stop him but he was too powerful.”

“Did you say Discord?” Celestia asked, a sense of dread creeping down her spine.

“That’s what he called himself,” Jack said. “Looked like someone Frankensteined a bunch of different creatures together.”

“President Celestia!” another guard called as he rushed into the room.

“Yes?” Celestia asked.

“It’s utter chaos out there, ma’am!” the guard panted. “Cotton candy clouds, sporadic showers of chocolate milk, corn crops are popping, plants and animals are mutating all across Equestria. Unicorns have tried to undo whatever magic’s causing these anomalies but whatever spell’s responsible is beyond even the most gifted of them.”

“I must summon the Elements at once!” Celestia declared.

“Wait who is this guy?” Jack asked as Celestia hastily wrote a letter.

“I suppose this does concern you,” Celestia sighed. “Long before I banished my sister to the moon Discord terrorized the lands of Equestria. It was only 300 or so years after my sister and I were crowned. While Blutknochen sought to bring humans to Equestria and exploit their chaos magic, Discord used his own chaos magic to turn the world upside down. Unlike Blutknochen Discord had no deep motive no master plan. He simply enjoyed chaos and despised order. My sister and I challenged Discord, but our own power wasn’t enough to stop him. It wasn’t until we used the Elements of Harmony that we were able to defeat him by imprisoning him in stone.”

“Why have I never read anything about him?” Jack questioned raising a brow in suspicion.

Celestia sighed knowing exactly where Jack was going with his question. “Humans and the Elements of Chaos are far from the only things that had to be wiped from the history books.”

“More lies, eh?” Jack scoffed.

Sending her letter away in a flash Celestia made her retort. “Some things are better forgotten.”

“Are they really?” Jack said with a determined glare. “What has all this secret history gotten ya, huh? Ya have yer people forget their past and then the past comes back tuh haunt ya. Yer sister returned from her imprisonment in the moon and no but Twilight was ready tuh stop her. I show up and everyone acts as if I’m an alien, the Elements of Chaos make a move, and no one’s heard of ‘em. Now this Discord guy is set tuh destroy everything and most people here don’t even know he exists!”

“Some day you’ll understand,” Celestia sighed.

“I think I understand just fine,” Jack sneered. “Many countries in my world try tuh cover things like this up, some even punish people fer telling the truth about history. Most just feed their children propaganda lines meant tuh induce loyalty. Japan was trying tuh liberate the less fortunate of Asia from western oppression, Mexico was infringing on the property rights of white Texans, The British opened fire on peaceful Boston colonists, there was no Armenian genocide or Holodomor, we were attacked twice in the Gulf of Tonkin, the Spanish blew up the Maine, the Civil War was fought over ‘states’ rights.’ No, Japan wanted tuh dominate the east, the Texans wanted tuh keep their slaves, the Boston Colonists were assaulting the British soldiers, the Armenian Genocide and Holodomor happened, America faked the second Gulf of Tonkin attack, the Maine’s coal bunkers blew up, and the Civil War was fought over slavery. In my world, the lies they teach us can be discovered through research, but you use magic tuh just poof away the evidence yer world now don’t ya?”

“Are you done?” Celestia asked.

“Fer now,” Jack huffed.

Canterlot Castle: Entry Hall

A few hours had passed and Celestia was nervously pacing around the grand staircase as Jack quietly fumed in a corner. Finally, the Mane Six burst through the door.

“President Celestia, we came as fast as we could!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Thank you, Twilight,” Celestia said, her tone dire. “Thank you, all.”

“Is this about the weather?” Twilight asked. “And the animals' weird behavior? What's happening out there? Why isn't my magic working? Is there…”

Celestia held up a hoof, signaling Twilight to stop. “Follow me,” she said, directing them down the hall.

Jack grunted and followed behind.

“I've called you here for a matter of great importance,” Celestia explained. “It seems an old foe of mine, someone I thought I had defeated long ago, has returned. His name... is Discord.”

“Of course, ya couldn’t explain the situation by letter,” Jack commented, his tone drenched in sarcasm. “Keeping secrets is far too important tuh save time so we can come up with a plan tuh stop this guy.”

Glancing up at a stained glass depiction of the being in question, Fluttershy squealed in fright. Celestia continued her explanation with Rainbow Dash cheering at the description of Discord’s defeat.

“I thought the spell we cast would keep him contained forever, but since Luna and I are no longer connected to the Elements, the spell has been broken,” Celestia explained.

“Should’ve thought about that before sweeping it under the rug, huh?” Jack snarked.

Twilight glanced at Jack before turning back to Celestia. “No longer connected?” she asked.

“There’s a reason I had the six of you retrieve the elements during the Battle of Canterlot,” Celestia said.

“Hey, look!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed pointing to a stained-glass depiction of their fight with Nightmare Moon. “We're famous!”

“You six showed the full potential of the Elements by harnessing the magic of your friendship to beat a mighty foe,” Celestia explained. “Although Luna and I once wielded the Elements, it is you who now control their power, and it is you who must defeat Discord!”

Twilight steeled her resolve. “President Celestia, you can count on….”

“Hold on a second!” Pinkie interrupted. “Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys. Chocolate rain!”

“Some stay dry and others feel the pain,” Jack thought to himself. “God damnit, Pinks.”

“Don't listen to her, President,” Twilight said, “We'd be honored to use the Elements of Harmony again.”

Inserting her horn into a slot, Celestia opened a hidden compartment revealing a shiny blue chest.

“Ooh,” Rarity said. “You can keep the Elements. I'll take that case!”

“Have no fear, ponies,” Celestia said as she levitated the chest forward. “I have total confidence that you will be able to defeat Discord with these!”

Everyone gasped. The chest was empty.

“The Elements!” Twilight exclaimed. “They're gone!”

“That chamber is protected by a powerful spell that only I can break!” Celestia said. “This doesn't make sense!”

A series of cackles echoed throughout the halls. “Make sense?” Discord asked. “Oh, what fun is there in making sense?”

“Discord!” Celestia shouted. “Show yourself!”

“Did you miss me, Celestia?” Discord asked possessing his stained-glass image. “I missed you,” he said slithering into the window depicting the Battle with Nightmare Moon. “It's quite lonely being encased in stone, but you wouldn't know that, would you, because I don't turn ponies into stone.”

“Enough!” Celestia shouted, glaring daggers. “What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?”

“Oh, I just borrowed them for a teensy little while,” Discord answered smugly. With a snap of his fingers, the elements disappeared from the stained glass as well.

“You'll never get away with this, Discord!” Celestia declared stamping a hoof in defiance.

“Oh, I'd forgotten how grim you can be, Celestia,” Discord sighed. “It's really quite boring.”

“Hey!” Rainbow Dash snapped, charging at the window. “Nopony insults the President!”

Discord disappeared from the stained glass just as Rainbow Dash smashed face first into it. reappearing he said, “Oh, you must be Rainbow Dash, famed for her loyalty, the Element of Harmony you represent.”

“That's right!” Rainbow Dash affirmed. “I'll always be loyal to the President!”

“We'll see about that,” Discord scoffed, vanishing from the window.

“I can't believe we're wasting our time talking to a tacky window,” Rarity said as Discord popped up in the window next to her.

“The beautiful Rarity, representing the element of generosity, if I'm not mistaken?” Discord said.

“So ya know who we are, big deal,” Applejack huffed.

“Oh, I know much more than that, honest Applejack,” Discord said, increasing the size of his image in the window.

“You seem to know our strengths too,” Twilight noted.

“Yes, Twilight Sparkle, and yours is the most powerful and elusive element, magic,” Discord said. “Fluttershy's is kindness and Pinkie Pie's is a personal favorite of mine – laughter.” He chuckled as he danced on Twilight’s stained-glass depiction.

Pinkie snickered at his antics.

“Pinkie!” Twilight scolded.

“He's standing on your head!” Pinkie giggled.

“Stop stalling, Discord!” Celestia snapped. “What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?”

“Oh, so boring, Celestia. Really?” Discord asked indignantly. “Fine, I'll tell you, but I'll only tell you my way,” he agreed dancing between the windows. “To retrieve your missing Elements, just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the Elements back where you began.” With an ominous laugh, he vanished.

“Can we go home now?” Fluttershy asked meekly.

“What do you reckon he meant?” Applejack asked. “Twists and turns and endin' back where we started?”

“Twists and turns... twists and turns... twists and turns!” Twilight glanced out the window at the maze Discord’s statue had been. “That's it! I bet Discord hid the Elements in the palace labyrinth!”

“Good luck, my little ponies,” Celestia said. “The fate of Equestria is in your hooves.”

“Thanks, President,” Twilight said as she and the others raced outside. “We won't let you down.”

Canterlot Sculpture Garden

“W-We have to go in there?” Fluttershy asked shuddering at the imposing entrance to the hedge maze.

“Nope!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed taking to the sky. “Dopey Discord forgot about these babies! I'll just do a quick flyover and we'll have the Elements in no time.” With a poof, her wings vanished and she came crashing down. “My wings!”

Fluttershy screamed as her wings disappeared from her back and Twilight’s and Rarity’s horns vanished from their heads.

“Your horn! My horn! Ahhh!” The unicorns gasped at each other.

“You–You should see the looks on your faces,” Discord sneered popping into existence in front of them. “Priceless!”

“Give us our wings and horns back!” Twilight demanded.

“You'll get them back in good time,” Discord assured them. “I simply took them to ensure there's no cheating. You see, this is the first rule of our game: no flying, and no magic.”

“The first rule?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“The second rule is everypony has to play or the game is over, and I win,” Discord elaborated. “Good luck, everypony!” Discord shouted cackling as he teleported away.

“Never fear,” Twilight said. “We have each other!”

“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash agreed. “Like Twilight said, there's nothing we can't overcome if we all stick together!”

“Alright, let's do this!” Twilight declared as she and the others marched through the entrance.

“Together!” They agreed.

The last thing Jack saw was a wall of hedge dividing him from the others before he lost consciousness.

“One more rule,” Discord cackled. “No humans.”

Unknown

Jack found himself floating in a cluster of junk that reminded him of the void in the Amazing World of Gumball. Books were flying like birds, houses floating upside down, candy of all shapes and sizes, and creatures that looked straight out of the works of HP Lovecraft.

“Where am I?” Jack asked.

“Welcome to my mind,” Discord said. “You didn’t think I’d let you help them, did you?”

“I don’t think they’ll need my help,” Jack said.

“Oh, I wouldn’t bet on that,” Discord chuckled. “But that’s beside the point.”

“Then what is the point?” Jack asked.

“In the beginning, this world was ruled by four beings who mastered the art of chaos,” Discord said. “Me and Blutknochen were two of those four. Then around 40,000 years ago a new power was discovered, that of harmony. A pony used this power to cast one of these rulers into the pits of Tartarus beginning the long struggle between chaos and harmony. The remaining three of us went our separate ways, but not before Blutknochen and I agreed to stay out of each other’s way.”

“Again, what’s your point?” Jack asked. “Unless you intend to give away Blutknochen’s plans I’m not interested in whatever it is your selling.”

“I’m afraid telling you anything else about it you don’t know would violate the agreement we have,” Discord chortled. “I’m sure you’ve figured out he requires human magic to achieve his goals, which is why you’re here. I don’t really care if he gets what he wants out of your kind, but I do find it irksome to see a creature as chaotic as a human waste away trying to be an agent of harmony. I can’t corrupt you like I can with ponies, but I must say I think you’d be happier accepting your true nature.”

“What do mean you can’t corrupt me the way you could ponies?” Jack asked.

“Oh?” Discord said dawning the outfit of a movie director. “Perhaps you’d be interested in a portfolio of my latest work.”

A projector screen showed him footage of Applejack lying, Pinkie Pie sarcastically dismissing her friend’s concern for her, Rarity covetously guarding a boulder she insisted was a diamond, Fluttershy bullying her friends, and Rainbow Dash abandoning her friends.

Canterlot Sculpture Garden

Jack rubbed his head as he came too. The hedges had all vanished and the Mane Six sans Rainbow Dash stood some distance away helpless as Discord appeared in front of them.

“Well, well, well. Somepony broke the "no wings; no magic" rule,” Discord gloated returning the pony’s horns and wings with a snap of his fingers. “Game's over, my little ponies. You didn't find your precious elements.” Lightning crashed from the sky as Discord pulled an inside-out umbrella from hammer space. “Looks like we might be due for a big old storm of chaos,” he said laughing maniacally.

Author's Note

Alright, we're getting back into things. Things have been a bit hectic on my end. My cat tore up the carpet after getting trapped in the closet so, I'll be loosing some of my deposit. I learned how to solder so I could fix the switches on my two Game Boy Advances. I fixed the first one a few weeks ago and just started on the second. Unfortunately, I may need to redo the first because while the problem isn't as bad as before it's kinda sensitive now. I'm missing a paycheck that I was supposed to get on the second so I have almost 700 dollars less than I'd usually have in my bank account at this time of the month. Will be calling HR tomorrow to see why it hasn't been mailed to me yet.
Next Time: As Twilight struggles to get the Elements of Harmony back together Jack confronts Discord with a secret weapon.