When A Joke Is Taken Seriously
"There has to be something I haven't done before." Papers flew around the room as the grey griffon looked through the news of all the regions of Equestria. Even in her older age, Gabby still wanted to have her cutie mark and wasn't going to stop until she had it. As a mail courier, she had access to as many things as she wanted when it came to having things delivered, and to have access to all the newspapers around made it even easier, along with all the spam mail that people didn't want. It only took a bit of time going through all the wanted ads before finding a flyer attached to the back of one of the papers. Her blue eyes lit up with glee as she read over the ad, this was something she hadn't done before, it was just going to take a trip to downtown Manehatten for it.
Rushing as fast as she could, Gabby threw on the fastest things she could, with a tight-fitting pair of shorts, and a t-shirt that barely held her body in, to begin with, and combing her feathers back into the tiny ponytail she sported. With a quick flick of her red lipstick across her beak to give a more mature look, she grabbed her purse and flyer before running out the door to catch the train to Manehatten.
One train ride later and Gabby had arrived in the big city. With flyer in hand, she made her way through the streets that she knew from doing deliveries in the area until she came across the location that was looking for work. It seemed to be run down and even possibly at the point of closing by the looks of it. Parts of the neon signing were missing, trash littered the ground outside, and graffiti-covered parts of the building. Carefully walking to the side door, she knocked on a metal entrance with a sliding window near the top of it.
The little window opened with a single golden eye glaring at her from it. "We're closed come back later tonight!" was shouted at her before the slide closed back over.
"Umm... I'm here for a job application based on this flyer I got in the mail. It doesn't state a time to come for it." Gabby held up the flyer as she talked to the door. "Are they only doing interviews in the evening time?"
The window opened back up again, the eye getting a face full of the flyer on the bright pink paper. It read over the sheet a few times before shutting again and the door opening. Inside a one-eyed green dragon with gruff stubble and shaggy clothing sat near the door. "Alright girly, I'm not sure what the boss has going on, so I'm gonna let you in and you can talk with him, I got people that I have to let in. He's upstairs, only two rooms there, and it's quite obvious which one is his." He pointed down the hallway towards a staircase at the other end.
"Thank you, mister, I'll cause no trouble." Gabby saluted the dragon before skipping down the hallway. Her cheerful attitude stabbed into the grumpy dragon who watched her with his head shaking. Getting to the top of the stairs, the griffon saw only two doors, one being for a closet as she passed by, seeing a janitor inside the small little room looking for something. The other door was shut over and yelling could be heard through the door, though the words were muffled, the sound of slamming on a desk set the griffon on her nerves, wondering if she should come back later.
When she reached out to knock, her hand stopped as the door flung open and she was met face to face with a well-dressed unicorn, his grey coat with brown mane matted with sweat, his green eyes dotted in anger, and his clothes slightly askew most likely from his shouting and slamming. "Great, another leech comes for their money. Who wants it this time, is it Skies, or maybe it's Sugar Sweet? Well, who is it that you come to collect for?" His finger was inches away from Gabby's face, his temper seeming to have taken over his every whim.
Gabby swallowed the lump in her throat, thinking she was just another accident waiting to happen in this place's books. "Hi, I'm Gabby, I'm responding to this flyer that was sent out in my mail." She held up the pink sheet in front of the unicorn, his brow looking ready to burst. "If I should come again later, I can leave." She nervously chirped as she felt the weight in the air.
Snatching the sheet from her hand the unicorn looked it over, his mind lost in anger to remember what the damn thing was about. Then the awkward silence was broken with him laughing, starting with a snicker and building up into full-on belly-filled guffaws. "Oh jeez, I can't believe that someone actually responded to this nonsense. Like seriously this has got to be the easiest joke around. Sweetheart, this is someone's idea of a dumb joke. There isn't any job around here right now. I ain't got the money to hire anyone."
"Oh... that's not very funny to me. I came out here to do some work." Gabby's face sunk in disappointment. "Could I at least show how well I can do it and maybe change your mind on it? I'll gladly do the night for free just to show I can do it."
The unicorn stopped cold in confusion at the griffon's suggestion. His face was distorted by trying to put pieces together but seemingly still couldn't add it all up. "Wait, you want to do that sorta work, for free for tonight at least? Did you hit your head or something there, babe? Only someone wanting that weird would offer that, and probably at a nicer place than this."
Gabby clapped her hands together and took a deep breath, focusing her energy. "Nope, I haven't hit my head. I'm trying to get my cutie mark, and I've tried plenty of things. I saw this ad in my mail pile and figured to give it a try just in case it is my special talent." Her eyes sparkled in glee as she put on the biggest smile she could.
Rubbing the back of his head, still, a bit confused by this griffon thinking she could get a cutie mark, shrugged his shoulders. "Alright then. I can't offer you pay, but if others want to give you tips then they're all yours. Doubt it with the customers we get, but I can gladly give you the space it says. Follow me, doll."
With a pump of her fist into the air, Gabby celebrated her little victory in her head as she followed behind the unicorn. Leading from the backroom area downstairs, she was trotted through what looked like a run-down bar, with a stage at one end that had curtains closed over the front of it. The room itself had tables with chairs set on top of them, leaving the floor open and clear for what cleaning could be done to the stained cement floor. The bar counter had many bottles missing from behind it on the wooden shelves, and the mirror was cracked. A little worry set across Gabby as they made their way across to a single door.
Opening the door was revealed to have a two-stall and single urinal with a sink, the smell of something stale wafted through the air, and it was hot. The air circulatory system was certainly not working leaving a stagnant room for anyone who entered. Graffiti and writing littered the walls and doors of the stalls, with the urinal labeled as 'Out of Order' on the sign that hung from it. The floor was the only real clean-looking thing about the room and that wasn't saying much as the sinks were stained with brown and other various colors that seemed now pressed into the porcelain.
"Alright, this is the only bathroom other than the back areas for staff. If you are so adamant about doing your thing, then this is the place for it. The urinal is busted, so only two stalls to work with. Don't bother customers if they just want to do their business without you. The place opens in a few hours, so feel free to do whatever until opening time. Gero will let you in the side door ahead of time if you want to go elsewhere for a bit." The unicorn looked at the griffon with an 'I Told You So' look on his face.
Gabby nodded in agreement with him. "I'll make it work, I've had to do stuff without the best things before. Thank you so much, Mister..." she held out her hand ready to shake his.
"Clouds. Just don't say I didn't warn you about this being a joke put on by someone. Probably some idiot who wants to see the place tank faster." He shook the griffon's hand before turning around and leaving her alone with the space.
"Alright Gabby, you can do this. You just need to come up with a plan to attract as many customers in to show Mr. Clouds that you can do this and make money doing it. Then you can do it enough to earn a cutie mark." The talked to herself as she looked at what little space she had to work with. "Maybe I'll just go quickly to a store to get some supplies first," she grimaced to herself.
It was close to opening when Gabby returned from her little shopping trip, having made sure to get all the things she would need, plus stopping to make sure she was full as well considering the state of the bar. Returning to the bathroom she dropped her bags on the floor and started her work on giving a good work area. Starting with air fresheners to clear the air of the stagnant scent of whatever was wafting around. The next thing she did was make a homemade sign and placed it on the far back stall on the outside to hopefully give those who want what she was selling what partake. Finally, she opened a big box of flavored condoms and dumped them into her purse, just in case she had a few wanting to partake of her other option.
The sound of patrons entering the bar could be heard through the door by the time she finished her setup. With excitement in her bones, Gabby took to the stall she claimed for her own. Stripping down to her underwear which consisted of a very small yellow thong with a ruby gemstone in the back holding the fabric together, and her small matching bra which showed most of her cleavage and barely kept her nipples under the cups. Setting her clothes in a garbage bag to make sure they didn't get messy in the action. She also set out a glass jar for those coming in to drop their money in for the payment of her services.
After the first hour of waiting around doing nothing, Gabby was welcomed by the sound of the bathroom door opening up, however, she was left disappointed when they went into the other stall and left her sitting there waiting for her first true customer. While that one was in use, another party entered the washroom, they seemed to be standing waiting at the door until they pushed it open. In walked a drunk zebra, his drink still in hand as well as he looked slightly confused at the griffon before he shrugged his shoulders.
The drunken patron approached Gabby, her eager smile on her face giving him a positive vibe of the situation. Setting his drink on the back of the toilet, he unzipped his pants, letting his large black cock hang out limply in front of the griffon. As Gabby went to say something, a stream of piss flew from the tip and splattered her face before sinking down to her breasts, covering the grey griffon with his golden shower. The warm stream trickling through the feathers before dripping into the toilet below her. "Ah ya, strange looking toilet but that ain't gonna stop me from taking my leak," he whispered to himself, still not able to connect that it was a griffon actually sitting there.
Gabby stayed still as she could, the warm liquid tickling her body as it dripped down her. She wiped the piss that had splattered her face and took in the smell of the fresh urine as the zebra finished his business. He was really plastered for only having had the bar open for an hour. It felt a little strange watching another piss but it was her chance to earn a cutie mark in her mind and she'd follow through with it for that small chance.
When the zebra finished up, he reached for his drink and flushed the toilet, leaving Gabby with nothing to show for it except her warm body. She sighed in defeat that her first customer didn't even pay her, but he was most certainly drunk off his rocker to even stand so she was happy he at least got it on her instead of her jar and purse. The room stayed empty for a little while longer, roughly twenty minutes passing before the next one entered the room. The door opened to her stall once again, this time a white dragon waltzing into the small cubicle. He didn't seem as drunk as the zebra previously.
He pulled out his wallet first before anything, throwing the few bits into the glass jar. He rubbed his hands together with a wide grin on his face before undoing his pants and letting out a pair of pink dicks. "Didn't think the old place would get something like this. Might have to come back again for another round later." He took hold of both his shafts and aimed towards the griffon and let loose a dual stream of urine. One aimed at her face the other at her stomach.
Gabby felt the double streams hitting her, the dragon's piss much warmer than the zebra's most likely due to his physiology. As her face was doused in the warm liquid, she opened her beak just a bit to let some trickle in to get a taste of the pee. It had a salty flavor with a hint of something spicy as it dribbled across her tongue and down her throat. Her stomach twisted a bit at the foul fluid seeping into her system. She gave a little sound of delight as she basked in the dragon's urine.
"You like that don't you, ya little slut. Fuck this certainly is a big change than just pissing into a bland old toilet." The dragon's top dick had started to fade into a trickle as the stream died quickly, while the bottom one kept going for just a bit longer, getting a nice shot off to wet Gabby's thong causing her cameltoe to show through the fabric. "Ah ya, that was good. Good luck doll, you'll need it with tonight's crowd," he said while zipping up his pants and leaving the bathroom.
Sitting there with confusion racing through at the final comment, Gabby wasn't able to sit and ponder long as another patron walked into the bathroom, this one seemed a bit more enthusiastic at the sign she had hung up on the door. "No way, this has got to be a joke. Clouds wouldn't pay for something like this." The door opened up, letting a purple and blue colored changeling enter the stall, his eyes lighting up like a Christmas tree. "Hot damn, there really is a chick in here selling goods."
Gabby blushed and wiggled her fingers in a hello to the changeling who had entered into the small area. "Yup, I'm real," she squeaked out as the changeling approached.
"So, those posted rates are what things are going for then, I'm assuming. If so..." he trailed off as he dropped a considerable number of bills into the glass jar. Letting his pants down, a green phallus extended out, the smooth shaft with a small bulbous base sticking right at Gabby's face. "Open wide chick-a-dee, daddy's gotta pee." As soon as the griffon opened her mouth he let free a torrent of steamy piss right into her throat.
The sudden rush nearly overwhelmed Gabby, trying so desperately to not choke on the initial rush of the flow as her mouth spilled some of it down onto her breasts. The liquid was cooler than the dragon's but still warm just like the zebra's, confirming her suspicion of it being the dragon himself having that extra heat to it. Gargling away at the salty yellow liquid, she guzzled down as much as she could as fast as the changeling could put out. As his stream died down as fast as it started up, the rest was sprayed between her bosom, giving her chest another soaking. The smell of the urine went through her nostrils, smelling of sweet cinnamon instead of the usual stagnant water scent.
Letting out a sigh of sweet bladder release as his stream trickled to a few droplets, the changeling wiggled his dick a few times to get the last bit of liquid out of his cock. He watched the last little bit being drunk down by the griffon with a sexual pleasure of his dominance. "Alright, that's good and all but I did pay to have this thing taken care of as well." He bobbed his dick with his hand in front of Gabby's face.
Reaching down into her purse, Gabby pulled up a yellow-colored condom, opening the package, she unraveled the rubber across the changeling's length until it wouldn't go any further. Opening her beak she took in the changeling's cock, the taste of banana coming from the flavored portion of the condom as she started to suck away on the sweet taste. The size of his shaft didn't impede her efforts to go as far as she could, gobbling the dick as if it were candy before pulling back with a wet pop as she pulled off, then returned to sucking on the tip, licking it like a lollipop with her tongue as she wiggled it in her mouth.
"Hell ya, you certainly know how to use that beak of yours and that tongue." The changeling moaned as he placed his hands on Gabby's head.
The griffon bobbed her head deeper down onto the changeling's dick, this time getting the bigger base into her beak as she moved. Her hand took hold of the small area that the condom didn't reach and stroked at the bit of flesh that hung out. The flavor of the condom filled her mouth and removed the taste of piss from off her tongue as it was replaced with the coating of lube and the amount of spit she was generating. Her mouth drooled out some of the excess spit as she moved, dripping down onto her without care. After a few minutes of blowing the changeling's dick, it erupted into the condom, filling the rubber with his cum and expanding it in Gabby's maw.
With his balls now drained of his seed, the purple changeling pulled out the cum filled balloon and pulled it off his pecker, handing it to the griffon. "There sweetheart, keep the tip," he said with a wink. Pulling up his pants he made his way out of the washroom. Leaving Gabby to recover from the first blowjob of the night.
Holding the now filled condom, Gabby didn't know what to do with it right away. The spit rubbed off onto her fingers as she stared at the yellow balloon, with a small curiosity of it. The sound of more coming into the bathroom didn't leave her much time to think, so she tied the rubber around the waistband of her thong to deal with at a later time. Focusing her time on dealing with the here and now.
As the night went on, more and more patrons started to come to the washroom, filling her jar with more money, leaving more condoms to be added to her new belt of them, and even leaving more stains on her fur from all the piss staining her. Her bra and thong had been soaked through, leaving nothing to the imagination of any other patron who came in, giving them all a sight of her nipples and pussy through the fabric. Her face even received some white painting from the few who paid for the condomless blowjobs, giving her a good facial and filling for their time.
When the final call was made for drinks in the early morning hours, Gabby was now nearly worn down to nothing with the amount of time she spent with another patron in her stall. Leaning against the back of the toilet with legs feeling locked up, the griffon sighed at the lowered sound coming from the bar area. The flow of traffic had turned to near nothing as she got to relax. Then that's when her last customer of the night came in, a big hairy yak, towering over even the stall's top with his size. Gabby's eyes turned to pinpricks as she looked on at the yak.
"Me hear of birdy giving fun times in bathroom. Sign not say price of what yak want. Me want to piss in bird's butt, how much?" The burly idiot spoke such terrible ponish but at least was intelligent enough to have most words.
"I uh..." Gabby managed to slip out, trying to piece the yak's demand together.
"Me pay two hundred bits," said the yak.
"Two hundred!" the griffon shouted in shock.
"Two hundred not good enough, then me pay four hundred but I also want to fuck bird in butt as well." The yak crossed his arms, trying to strong on the shocked griffon.
Gabby looked wide-eyed and mouth agape in surprise at his offer. Four hundred to let him have his way with her butthole for a little bit. Words failed to escape the griffon's mouth, her fingers popping up and down as she tried to speak until her voice cracked with a high-pitched "Yes." Having agreed to the yak's deal, he pulled out four large bills and set them in her jar, her face still in shock at seeing the bills land before her. Squealing on the inside with so much glee that would make a certain pink pony jealous at the amount of joy in her. Luckily for Gabby, she did carry around some lubrication in her purse for those times she had gotten her hand stuck delivering mail, she dug out the small bottle and waited for the yak to pull down his pants.
With a big smile on his face, the yak dropped his sweatpants, letting free the biggest dong that Gabby had ever seen. The length was nearly the entirety of her arm in size, with big bulging veins sticking out from the girth. A musk overtook the smell of all the piss that had soaked into her clothes and fur, and big heft balls swung just under the massive mass. The cool lube that drizzled over his length, followed by the hands of the griffon gave the yak some bit of delight as she worked the liquid to as much length as she could.
When finished with lubing up the yak's cock, Gabby turned around and pulled down her thong, letting her big butt hang out as she leaned against the toilet for support. It didn't take long for the yak to pull her cheeks apart and push his big dick into the tight little pink pucker. Gabby bit down hard, trying not to scream in pain at the size that was entering her body. Her ass stretched as much as it could to make room for the beast but it still wasn't enough to have it all inside width-wise. As he sank his shaft deeper into her ass, the pain became more tolerable, the sphincter of the griffon having been pushed to its limits. Eventually, he reached the end of his journey with his balls tapping against her body, with his dick poking against her belly in feeling from how deep it was.
The yak quite happy with his new sex toy for the next little bit started his anal destruction of the griffon. Her insides wrapped around his shaft like a soft jelly sleeve, with a nice warming to it to make it more fun as it spasmed around him as he pushed and pulled his cock. "Yes, bird feel good. Bird make good fuck thing for yak." He grunted as he pushed her down just a bit more as he took hold of her hips to thrust easier.
Gabby simply smiled and nodded to the yak, while inside she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs from his huge size. Fortunately for the griffon, he was more of a hair trigger than her other patrons who just had blowjobs. In only a few minutes of him being in her ass, his dick erupted into a torrent of sticky cum that provide only minor relief from his anal adventure. His dick pumped her full with what felt like an endless sea of semen, as he still thrust himself back and forth. Each second of him spending himself in her was another year in her mind.
Letting out a joyous cheer for his ejaculation into the bird, the yak almost forgot about his original mission, getting his near flaccid dick to the edge of her anus before stopping. "Almost forgot, me still need to pee in bird's butt." His body stood stock still as he waited, then the flood gates burst, sending a second load of liquid into Gabby's ass, this one much warmer, and certainly more fluid compared to the sticky goo that was the yak's cum.
The two liquids combined together, the urine causing the cum to come loose from the walls of Gabby's colon, while still providing some relief from the yak's pounding of her pucker. Her belly slowly sticking out from all the liquid that was piling inside her body. Gabby's heart race as she felt like a balloon herself, inflating with piss and jizz instead of air. With a wet pop the yak's dick slipped out and sprayed over her back with the remainder of his stream, giving her absolute relief from his massive member. Her ass gaped, trying to close the wide opening he created, while it spilled some of the mixture out onto the floor.
With a smile and clap of his hand on the griffon's ass, the yak sighed with joy. "Bird did good. Me most happy with deal. Will tell yak friends about place and good bird." He pulled up his pants, and gave Gabby one more smack on her ass before leaving the washroom, leaving the griffon with her pain and pleasure.
Still leaning against the Toilet, Gabby slowly moved around to sit on the seat, feeling her bowels drain of the cum and piss mixture just from sitting. Her legs felt weak from the sheer weight the yak brought with him and from the amount of screaming she wanted to do. Never again did she want to see a yak, or at least not for a while until she recovered her asshole's original tight puckered shape. As she sat there, she counted through the bowl of cash that had built up over the long night of sexual escapades as a public urinal for these bar dwellers. Her final total was nearly nine hundred bits for only ten hours of work. This was certainly something profitable at the least if she didn't get her cutie mark from it.
Getting herself ready to go home after a long night, she tied all the condoms together creating a little art piece of all the different colors with the varying amounts of cum that were filled in them. Her clothes and body reeking of piss as she got on the outfit she came in with, she slipped most things into the garbage bag to not give away to the public what she was up to and could at least deny some things. Exiting the bathroom after her long night, she saw Mr. Clouds sitting at the bar drinking away straight from the bottle.
"So sweetheart, was it worth it to ya? I think it would have been boring, drab, and probably not worth following through what was a joke played on people in my company name." He swished down another mouthful of his drink.
"I made nine hundred bits for the night. Even though I didn't get my cutie mark this time, I think next time will be the actual decision on it." Gabby smiled at the unicorn.
Clouds turned his head, eyes red from drinking and mouth near hanging from the jaw bone. "Nine hundred... nine hundred you said. Fuckers dropped nine hundred bits to piss in a god damn bird's mouth."
"Griffon sir, I'm a griffon, only half bird." Gabby corrected the stallion.
"I could care less, half or full, a bird is a bird to me. Though next time, if you want to use that room, it'll cost you thirty percent of what you make, considering you are taking a third of the room for your work and doing it in my business. How's that sound? I'll even get Rusty to get that place clean as can be for ya." Clouds held his arms wide, trying to temp the griffon in with his offer.
Tapping her finger on her chin, she debated on the whole thing, it was clearly a good way to make some cash but it did have the downsides of not the most choosing of her customers when it came to ones like the yak. "Only if you can give me a bit of choice for customers as well. I'm gonna walk funny after that yak fellow had his time."
"You drive a hard bargin there babe, but I'm sure I can set up a nice little bouncer for you so you can do some picking and choosing of your own. So thirty percent of your cash, in exchange for a clean bathroom and bouncer to select who gets into that stall with ya. Deal?" He held out his hand to the griffon.
With a firm grasp, Gabby shook the stallion's hand before giving him a wink. "Deal but for now, I gotta head home and get some sleep and a shower. I think I smell a bit strong."
"Go on, get outta here. Shower, rest, and I'll see you soon." He waved away at the griffon that took off. Taking another swig of his drink, this time with glee in his motion.
