Chug

by applejackofalltrades

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Applejack (EqG), Equestria Girls, Rainbow Dash (EqG), Random
Length: 1101

Rainbow Dash drinks a mysterious blue liquid with an unexpected (read: totally expected) side effect. Applejack is not amused.

Rainbow Dash drinks a mysterious blue liquid with an unexpected (read: totally expected) side effect. Applejack is not amused.

Written for a Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Panic! The prompt was “What’s happening to me?”

Cover is another screenshot edit made by yours truly. I really can’t stop with these.

Published 2022-08-12 16:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-08-12 16:10:00 UTC

OH DEAR GOD

“I don’t think it’s worth it.”

“Only a coward would say that! A wimp! A fool! A spineless idiot!”

“Wow, okay, Rainbow Dash. Rude.”

Rainbow Dash held up the glass in her hand and held it up to her face to look through the swirling blue liquid. On the other side of what she could see, Applejack looked all twisty and bendy. “You look stupid.”

Applejack crossed her arms. “Okay, then, drink it. Drink it all. Chug it.”

The glass dropped below eye level as Rainbow Dash cocked her head. “What? Why chug it?”

“‘Cause it’s glowy and blue,” Applejack pointed out. “How else are you supposed to drink it?”

She had a point.

“You have a point,” Rainbow Dash conceded. “Okay, I’ll chug it.”

Just before she could finish putting the glass to her lips, Applejack put her hand on it and pushed it back down. “Wait, hold on. Where’d you say you got this from?”

“Remember when we crossed over to, uh, Equestria after the boat sank?”

“Craziest shit happens to us,” Applejack muttered while nodding.

“Yeah, so, like, I might have taken it from one of Princess Twilight’s tables,” Rainbow Dash admitted with a voice an octave higher than usual. She could sense Applejack’s reprimand from the way her eyebrows furrowed and her shoulders rose. “But,” she cut in before Applejack could even take a breath, “I made sure it wasn’t, like, deadly.”

“Rainbow Dash?”

She looked up. “Hmm?”

“What the hell.”

“What?”

Applejack pinched the bridge of her nose. “So, you stole a… somethin’ from Princess Twilight’s castle, brought it over here, and then brought it to my cellar?”

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Uh, yeah, where else was I supposed to drink it other than your dark, damp cellar?”

“Oh, I could think of a lot of places,” Applejack huffed, reaching for a wooden chair and spinning it around to sit on it so the backrest was at her front. “Namely yer own house…” She crossed her forearms over the back of the chair and leaned on it like some kind of angsty teenager going through a phase.

“Pfft, and then have you complain about missing the chance to drink something straight from Ponyland?” Rainbow Dash winked, which made Applejack fake a gag. “Not a chance.”

Applejack simply shrugged and waved Rainbow on. If she wanted to be foolhardy and drink something from another dimension she just stole from a magical princess’ castle, then she could do just that. And Applejack would be in no rush to call for an ambulance if something were to happen.

Taking Applejack’s vague signal, Rainbow Dash raised the mysterious concoction to her lips. It smelled fruity.

She took a tentative sip of the blue liquid. It tasted… like candy? She glanced at it once more, licking her top lip free of the surprisingly thick residue and smacked her lips as if she were a wine connoisseur before taking another large sip. “Huh.”

“What?” Applejack asked, clearly trying (and failing) to feign disinterest.

“It’s… kind of good?” Rainbow explained. “I don’t know how to explain it, it kind of tastes like… colours?”

“Like colours?”

“Yeah, it tastes like…” Her eyes widened suddenly as her tongue stuck out, stained a bright glowing blue. “Oh God! OH GOD!”

At that, Applejack stiffened and sat up straight. “What’s wrong?” She considered her previous thought. Maybe she wouldn’t be so opposed to calling for help.

“Applejack,” Rainbow choked out, dropping the empty glass to the ground. It did not shatter because it was actually plastic because Rainbow Dash is a child who keeps breaking glasses. “Applejack!”

She whose name must be worn out by now jumped out of the chair, practically falling over it as she grabbed Rainbow by the shoulders. “Dash, what’s wrong?”

“It… it…” Rainbow Dash grabbed Applejack’s shoulders in return and shook her harshly. “What’s happening to me?!”

Applejack, being ragdolled, began to panic. “I don’t know! I told you not to drink that stupid thing!” She scolded in typical Applejack fashion. “Bright blue and from a dimension of talkin’ magical horses! And you drank it like you’re on some kinda fool’s errand side quest!”

Rainbow Dash’s knees buckled as she let go of Applejack, whose world was spinning. “Applejack… I…”

“Rainbow Dash, do ya need me to call someone?”

“Applejack…” Rainbow Dash whispered miserably, waving her fingers to beckon Applejack closer. “The… drink…”

“Was a stupid idea?” Applejack retorted, but squatted down all the same, horrified at what was happening to her friend. “Just hang on, I’ll call someone. Maybe Sunset knows what to do.”

As she was taking her phone out of her pocket, Rainbow Dash suddenly slapped it away where it slid across the wooden plank floor and under some shelves. “N-no…”

Alarmed, wondering why in the world Rainbow Dash would make such a foolish move, Applejack practically snapped her neck looking back to where her phone had disappeared to. “Rainbow?!”

“Come closer,” Rainbow muttered.

So she did. Rainbow shakily leaned closer to Applejack’s ear.

“I think… this potion… made me gay…”

Thousands of balloons exploded in Applejack’s head.

Snorting, Rainbow Dash sat up.

“But you’re already gay!” Applejack thwacked Rainbow Dash so hard that it seemed as though she was trying to knock the gayness out of her. “What the hell was that drink then?”

Rainbow shrugged, idly rubbing her arm. “I dunno, I bought it off of the internet,” she admitted.

“That’s even worse!” Applejack threw some random object off the ground at Rainbow Dash. It was a paperweight. “Drinkin’ some glowy blue thing you found on the internet.”

Rainbow Dash wondered what she ever did to deserve being attacked. And then she remembered. “Yeah, I don’t think it said it was safe for human consumption.” She licked her lips. They were numb. “But I got you good, didn’t I?”

Applejack sighed. Maybe she was being too nice to her earlier. Maybe Rainbow Dash didn’t deserve healthcare. “I seriously ain’t ever gonna call you an ambulance.”

“Aww, what?”

Author's Note

Yeah I dunno where this one came from, tbh. Thirty or forty-ish minutes of panic writing amounted to this :P

This is one of three Equestria Girls Rainbow Dash stories I wrote in the past week. The other two are still in a working phase, but I assure you they actually have some thought put into them. One of them will be done sooner rather than later. Hint: It’s a shipfic, but it’s a rare pair that I personally haven’t seen in writing. The other character doesn’t even have a tag on here!