Pinkie Pie starts a band

by WoomyWobble

Rating: teen
Tags: Harry Potter, Profanity, Adventure, Violence, Pinkie Pie, Crossover, Human, Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 6051

Pinkie Pie's second year at Hogwarts!

More adventures and fun when Pinkie starts her second year at Hogwarts. Will there be new friends? Fresh parties? Yummy food? Obviously!

Will there be bad stuff as well? Nothing that a lil' bit of old fashioned friendship can't fix!

So come along and dive back into this wacky world filled with weird secretive rooms, the odd cranky potions professor and who knows what else!

It's gonna be a hoot!

Published 2022-08-13 17:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-08-20 19:07:24 UTC

Prologue

Thunder and hale raged and battered against the keep. Unnatural and unclean the weather was.

At least it was in his mind. The sort of weather any sensible person would stay well enough away from, thank you very much.

This lot wasn't exactly known for their good sense.

“Thank you for coming.” The... thing said, dressed in drab and ominous looking robes that hid all features that would make it a person. It was hard to ascribe a gender to it. He guessed it was female? Yeah, she probably was female. Even if she tried to distort her voice.

“Most of those that have been summoned need to be...convinced.”

“I'm not that stupid.”

She must have smiled though he couldn't say for certain. Best to hurry this up. He wanted to get home and put the finishing touches on his novel.

As he followed the creepy woman up the grand, though spartan, staircase. He wondered how in blazes he got himself into this mess.

He knew the answer of course. Who doesn't need some startup capital early in life? Even if you are the greatest wizard alive, you don't get anywhere without money. So they gave him all the resources he needed, and all he had to do in return was to do what was asked, when it was asked.

Most people wouldn't be asked for anything, just a simple return on the investment. He was hoping to fall into that category. For those in the other category, well...

The Knights would have their due.

They entered a vast circular room lit by floating candles. Shadows hid human shaped figures all around it’s circumference. The light from the candles wasn’t nearly bright enough to show anything except for some silhouettes.

His task would be an important one then.

“Have a seat.” A deep baritone voice boomed through the room from every direction. Lightning from outside the window illuminated the room for a short moment as thunder followed in it’s wake.

Creepy.

He didn't need to be told twice. When he sat down, a brown folder slid in his direction on it’s own accord.

“You've been contacted by a certain individual about a job opportunity. You will accept it.”

It was true, but how did they know this? He thought it wise not to ask that. Instead he asked why.

“...Open the file.”

A low quality photograph of a girl with weird hair, greeted him. She seemed to be waving towards the camera before she tripped and threw something at the lens, the photo turned black and the scene repeated itself.

The girl in the photo looked incredibly alive, even in two dimensions. The rest of the file showed some information. Estimated weight, height, magical potential, that sort of thing.

“You will go to Hogwarts and you will kill her.”

He had to swallow a lump as it formed in his throat. “What, Why? What's she done to you?”

“That is none of your concern. All you need to know is that this is what our Lord commands.”

“...Your Lord you mean.” He grumbled

“Your devotion is neither expected nor required. You have our Lords favour. So you will do this, or you will die trying.”

“Why me?”

“You can get close. We warn you, all previous attempts on her life have failed, and there were many.”

“The goblins?”

“...Yes. They may be our Lords creation and so serve Him out of obligation. But we... we serve him willingly and so where they have failed, you will succeed.”

He wondered for a moment if the creepy voice might be overestimating his dedication to their cause. It didn't matter. The girl had to die.

“Do I have a time frame for this thing?”

“The end of the school year should be more then enough time. Our Lord is patient.”

He closed the file and hid it in the sleeve of these itchy robes they forced him to wear, and stood up.

The robed figures all bowed their heads as he left the premises.

Once he was home he could get out of his own stuffy robes and have himself a nice panicky meltdown in peace.

xxx

The morning started early for Borgin at Borgin and Burkes. First he had to put the old-old merchandise in the backroom, to be sold next year. Then he had to put the new-old merchandise on display.

Once again he questioned the mental capabilities of the average wizard.

Borgin was logging the products in his inventory and guesstimating their prices when his eyes fell on a little rainbow patterned key necklace with a handle that looked like a horse.

He took a moment to really look at it for what it was. Simple and pretty.

Ah yes, that Parkinson fellow brought it in. Possibly stolen. Oh well, it's been long enough now. Any heat it had is probably long gone. On display it goes.

xxx

The ting-a-ling from the bell above the door informed Borgin of his first customer of the day. A regular as it turned out. One of his favourites. Gullible this one, always good for a sale.

“Morning!” The customer said jovially as he browsed the store for anything of interest.

“Mornin’.” Borgin always thought he was a bit of a weirdo. He had to be if he dressed like that. Blond, with way too loud of a robe. Naive too. So much so that he almost fell bad when he sold him some scrap for way to many galleons. Almost.

Pupils dilated when the man gazed upon his new merchandise.

Brilliant.

Borgin had a hard time staying behind his counter. Experience has taught him that it was often better if he just let the customers come to him. The man was trying his best to look disinterested. How adorable. He came over with the necklace he had placed their just this morning. The pretty rainbow looking one.

“How much for this?” He asked still doing his best to try and look disinterested.

Borgin was going to take him to the cleaners. “Ah yes, this piece is quite exquisite isn’t it? The subtle enchantments, the rainbow patterning. It came to me by a wee lass, down on her luck. I gave her a fair price of course.” He took a moment to pretend do be thinking.

“Can’t let it go for less then ten Galleons I’m afraid.”

“Done!” The man almost shouted eagerly. He slapped the money on the counter without any fuss and grasped the necklace, eyeing it hungrily for a moment, before putting it away in his robe. “Thank you very much! You have no idea how far I’ve searched for this.”

Suddenly the man grasped Borgin by the head and kissed him on the forehead. “Really! Thank you.”

Startled a little by the enthusiasm, Borgin took a moment to blink. “Uh, you’re welcome?”

The man left with a skip in his step, and Borgin was left with the distinctly uncomfortable feeling that maybe, just maybe, might have undersold that little trinket.

Chapter 1: A Strange Dream

The yellow light was all encompassing. It felt surreal, ethereal almost. Like being a little wish inside of a teacup, or a diamond scrunched in a fist. It didn’t make much sense, but Pinkie wasn’t afraid.

Instead she felt quite serene. Standing atop of the giant ocean, when she thought about her magic, only the ocean was light and not hers. It was nice.

She felt like the light was trying to communicate, but couldn’t get the harmony right. Every now and then she felt like she could ascertain a word or a feeling, only for it slip away.

Sand through the sieve… Regret and Reverence. Worries and fears all wrapped in a small voice.

“--nkie, --- y-- ea- m-?”

‘Hm… A hug should suffice… a hug... or a cake, a cake, a cake.’

“-inkie plea--! -----or -- S-e--. ”

‘Hm?’

“-- b----y-d y-u. H- --nts --ur -o-l.”

'It's very hard to smell you.' Pinkie giggled in her sleep.

“-i-de-o- ----he--t w--l --y -o -il- --u. --w-re t-- A---itia ---ghts. St-- -live...”

xxx

Pinkie awoke with a start. What a weird dream she just had. At first it was rather nice, peaceful and weird. But then this voice started saying some really weird things. Scary things. She couldn't make heads or tails of it, but left her feeling a bit worried.

To clear her head she decided to make the most yummy breakfast this side of a cherry cobbler. It seemed like a good day for cherries. It was sunny outside. A lovely day really.

She jumped on the railing and slid down the stairs like she'd done a million times before. The trick was not to let Maddie see her do it. It would only make her mad and who would want that?

Hm, the flour came up a little short. Oh that's right, Phoebe forgot to do the groceries yesterday. Oh well, a good baker knew how to improvise.

They still had some rice. What if she grounded down some of the rice into flour using a mortar and pestle? That might work. She only needed a little more. And who knows? She might discover a whole new type of pastry!

The thought made her giddy as she started milling the rice. If you make a whole new pastry, are you allowed to officially name it?

She decided that if this was indeed the case she would name it a kaplowy. Just because it was a fun thing to say.

You could have cherry-kaplowy, apple-kaplowy, kaplowy-on-a-stick. Really, you can have all sorts.

...Okay, maybe kaplowy wasn't such a good name after all, but at least she wasn't feeling so weird from that dream she had anymore.

It was good to be baking.

xxx

Harry awoke with a start. Dudley was banging on his door demanding breakfast. He rubbed his eyes and sat on the bed. Sleep didn’t come easy last night that was for sure.

Hedwig looked at him accusingly. The Dursley’s had forbidden her from flying around and she didn’t take it well. Neither did the Dursleys.

Yes, the magical being ignored, honeymoon phase had definitely ended when he got back from Hogwarts. They quickly realized that he couldn't shoot lasers from his eyes or turn the garden hose into a snake.

...Yet.

No, no, no, best not risk it.

Man he was tired. Why o' why didn't he just talk to Dumbledore? He could've been in the castle right now. Or maybe stayed with Hermione or Ron or whatever. Not this.

Lazily he put his clothes on. He knew it didn't matter whether he was fast or slow. He'll get scolded anyway. In his mind it was best to go with the option that annoyed the Dursleys the most.

xxx

It was never enough. The food wouldn’t last and it was a battle for those that wanted more. That craved more.

She called it ‘kaplowy’ for lack of something better.… Such a strange name for something so potent, so altogether amazing.

“Mark? What are you dreaming about?” Maddie asked.

“Nothing!” He said with a smile. He liked having these little daydreams. Mark wanted to be a writer and he found it good practice to make things dramatic in his head. It was fun way to pass the time. It did make him look slightly goofy though, with a weird smile on his face.

Breakfast was quickly nearing it’s end as it always does with good food.

There was a bit of a scuffle going on about who should do the groceries. Phoebe wanted to do it since she forgot to do so yesterday, but Timmy liked to do it so he didn’t want to give it up.

It was always a good way to smuggle a bag of candy to the dormitories. Mark knew how it went.
Mark also recognized an opportunity when it found him. Quick as a snake he struck at the remaining kaplowy on Timmy’s plate.

“Hey!”

“You snooze you lose Tim. It’s a harsh world out there.” Mark said, full of faux wisdom as he took a bite.

There was a moment of ominous silence. Then a hard pinching sensation on his right ear. Maddie was gripping his ear tightly.

“What was my rule about eating off of other people’s plate?” She asked in an icy cool tone.

“Uhm… I can’t recall?”

“Then perhaps writing down one hundred instances of ‘I will let the other children eat in peace.’ may help you.”

Tim was starting to laugh at Marks predicament. It annoyed Mark as Maddie still held his ear.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Karma is funny.”

Maddie tweaked Timmy's ear as well. “No laughing at others' punishments.”

xxx

“Haha, sucks to be you Harry.”

Harry was forced to do the dished with a toothbrush because he had the audacity of suggesting a leaf of lettuce wouldn't go amiss.

The Dursleys didn't want anything to do with that kind of rabbit food. Except Petunia of course. She had to keep her pencil-neck extra pointy.

It wouldn't be so bad if Dudley wasn't there. Luckily ignoring him worked. Normally it wouldn't but Petunia didn't want anyone to ruin her pots and pans so she called him of.

Hurray.

Not that it mattered because Uncle Vernon called for a family meeting. Harry could hear perfectly what was being said, he wasn’t very far away and uncle Vernon wasn’t exactly subtle. It appeared that the good uncle had found himself an opportunity for promotion. His boss would come over for dinner tonight.

And wouldn’t you know it? Harry wasn’t invited to dinner. Oh no, he had to sit in his room and pretend he didn’t exist. He was actually looking forward to the prospect. He could read some of his books and get some summer homework done.

xxx

The street was littered with the bodies of the fallen. Sophie took one on the nose. She didn’t make it. Only Pinkie and Alfie were left.

The Blues were coming for them. She was sure she would lose, but she would make them pay dearly for it. Their victory would turn to ashes in their mouth. Oh yes...

Suddenly a balloon exploded. Alfie got hit right in the stomach. He fell, giggling where he stood.

“...Avenge me… Bluh.”

“No, not Alfie! He was only a boy!” Pinkie grabbed the gun that Harry had given her. She left the jungle gym outpost, ready for the hunt. She nimbly dodged two balloons using her Pinkie sense and blasted the one who threw them in the face. Duncan crumpled like a sack of potatoes. Very dramatic.

Sadly, no amount of Pinkie sense would stop the onslaught of balloons that were thrown her way.

“Blargarbl garble garble.” She screamed as she to fell among her brethren. Her enemies rejoiced in their victory.

“Can I use the squirt gun next time Pinkie?” Alfie asked.

“Of course you can!” Though Pinkie was pretty sure that he could barely lift the thing when it was full of water. Nobody cared, it was such a lovely day.

The street had devolved in a raging ragtag group of children. It was about a 50-50 split between the orphanage children and the other kids from the neighbourhood. The teams were divided so that it wasn’t just orphanage kids versus neighbourhood kids, otherwise the orphanage teamwork would win every time and that was no fun.

Still the chaos had caused many a garden to become a little… muddy. Parents and guardians would be cross. But that was a problem for the future.

xxx

It was soothing to hear the quiet scratchy scratch of pencils on paper. Harry found the sound relaxing as he tried to draw the adventures he had at Hogwarts. It made him think of his friends, and even though he was relaxed he couldn’t help but have some dark thoughts enter his mind.

Why didn’t they write him? Did they forget about him? Was Harry doomed to live the rest of his life stuck in his room with nothing but a righteously angry owl and an ugly drawing for company?

Okay, that last one was a bit much. It was just a few more weeks till Hogwarts after all.

A sigh escaped Harry’s lips. A few weeks...

The doorbell rang. He heard some muffled voices talking in that overly loud, overly pleasant tone that was just so incredibly Dursley. Once again he was grateful that pretending not to exist was an option.

PLOP.

A loud noise alerted Harry to a strange creature in the corner of his room. The moment was so startling in fact, that Harry fell over backwards from his chair making a big clatter in the process. Conversations ceased in the kitchen downstairs and Harry held his breath. His eyes found the strange creature. It had very big eyes and very big ears. Especially when taken into account the size of the rest of its body.

This must be one of those house elves that Pinkie talked about. What was it doing here?

“Uhm, hello? Who’re you?”

“I is Dobby, sir.”

Harry took a moment to collect himself of the ground and dust himself off.

“So…?”

“Dobby came to warn Harry Potter sir. Harry Potter mustn't return to Hoggywarts. Harry Potter is in grave danger there.”

Harry sighed. He seemed to get in grave danger a lot these past few months . Quidditch, Voldemort and who could forget the thing with the troll? Maybe wizards were actually worse in this then muggles were? It didn’t matter. At least magic meant freedom.

“Yeah? Well... things aren’t exactly great here either.”

“There is a pl-” Dobby suddenly started to bash his head violently against the cabinet. “No! Bad Dobby, bad, bad Dobby!”

The racket that Dobby was making was hard to ignore. Harry grabbed Dobby trying to tell him that he wasn’t bad.

An ominous silence followed. It was clear that they were heard by the people one floor below. One second, two seconds…
Harry released the breath he was holding. He removed his hand from Dobby’s mouth.

“Okay. Let’s not do that again.”

Dancing from one foot onto the other, Dobby looked like an overactive dog that’s supposed to stay in his bench. “You mustn't come back to Hogwarts.” He repeated. “Your friends don’t even respond to your letters.”

“Yeah we-...” Harry took a moment of reflection. “And how would you know that?”

“...Oh. Bad Dobby.” He started to bash his head against the floorboards this time.

Harry lunged to grab him but Dobby and cracked away already. Leaving only some letters behind. From below heavy footsteps came thundering up the stairs.

“..Fu-”

xxx

“-cking stupid… Can’t get the thing...”

“Sophie! Language!”

“…%^&...”

“I heard that!”

It was hard work at Happy Oaks. The fun that was had in the afternoon made way for abject misery in the evening. A lot of gardens were made messy with all that watery fun. so now everyone had to pitch in to fix it. Sophie was trying to put some flowers in a pot to put next to the walkway but she hadn’t realized that she needed to dig the hole a little deeper and she was aggressively trying to squish it in.

Now Cerys was more of a gardener at heart. A laid back sort of girl that liked flowers. She quickly helped Sophie out. She had to help everyone a lot. Most had no idea that some flowers like more acidic soil then others and that some didn’t like pots at all.

Cerys didn’t mind at all though, she was in her element. And wouldn’t you know it? Slowly but surely the gardens started to look quite nice again. A little neighbourhood that grew colourful and pretty, in a whimsical sort of way that only children could achieve planting plants willy-nilly.

Small little dirt paths that went nowhere, tiny ponds with with fountains and a fish or two, and who could forget those giant bushes for short people to hide in?

Cerys was watching Pinkie, who was gently stroking the bark of a young apple tree, whispering sweet nothing’s in a thick American accent.

Must’ve seen something weird on the telly again.

xxx

Harry woke up with a headache. Staring at the bars in front of his window really made his eyes hurt. Staring at the bars in front of his window had started to mess with his vision.

This sucked. He once again swore to himself next time he had the chance he would ask Dumbledore to let him live somewhere else. He could make that happen, right?

Still, no matter how bad Harry had it. He knew that Hedwig had it worse. If you’ve ever seen an owl sigh you’d know it was a sad sight indeed. Harry was actively contemplating releasing her permanently. This was no way for Hedwig to live. He moved towards the cage when a jolly honking outside his window caught his attention. It was such an odd sound that he couldn’t help but have a look. A strange sight greeted him.

Four redheads in a flying Ford Anglia... The youngest of which he’d seen only once. They were all furiously gesturing towards the bars.

The little girl Ginny had the bright idea to wind down the car window. “What you got bars on your window for?”

"Funny! They’ve locked me inside!” Harry responded a little crankily.

Ron peered outside his own window. “Seriously? The muggles actually locked you up?”

“...Yeah.”

“Dicks.” Ron stuck his head back inside the car and started a lively negotiation with his fellow redheads. Ginny in particular seemed to be gesturing wildly. A moment of head nods indicated that a decision had been made and George crawled his way back into the boot to find himself a piece of rope.

“Tie this around the bars.” He said handing one end to Harry.

With a little bit of skepticism in his mind Harry did so. He’d been in that room for a while after all with nothing but thoughts to keep him company.

To his surprise however, the bars started to bend almost immediately. There was some pluck in that little car. A loud screeching noise was the sign that the bars would break and break they did.

Harry smiled.

xxx

After a big day of making muck and cleaning it up, it was once again time to chill out at the dinner table. Maddie wasn’t exactly pleased with her charges but she had to admit that the garden has never looked better, so she couldn’t exactly be cross either.

Still, feeling like she should’ve put on some sort of parenting show she scooped her fill on her plate.

‘Oh, sod it.’ She thought. “Children! Feast on your supper and eat hearty, for tomorrow we’re going shopping!”

“Yay!” Another day of excitement at Happy Oaks.

Author's Note

Oh boy, here we go again!

Chapter 2: A Goblin Hello

PWEEEEP! “Wake up losers! We’re going out!”

“Yeah!”

Many children felt annoyance at the Alfie, Sophie and Pinkie wake up ritual. The older children had trouble dealing with these early birds. Slowly though, they did indeed rise from their slumber. With a happy feeling of anticipation.

The children didn’t go shopping very often. Maybe they could find some cool stuff. Who knows? It was going to be a good day regardless.

Breakfast was a quick affair with pre-made lunches stowed hastily in backpacks for the day to come. Maddie would have her hands full. Though luckily her children were a responsible bunch and could take care of one another.

They took a red double-decker bus to the center of London town. They sang songs along the way to pass the time. The other passengers didn’t really seem to mind. Some even hummed along if you would believe it.

They wasted no time to get to some clothing shops when they arrived to get something nice for the girls. All the boys wanted cool new toys of course, but Maddie wouldn’t hear of it. Important stuff came first. New clothes were plenty exciting in their own right.

“Maddie, Maddie, Maddie! Can I get the green mittens?”

“Alfie, we’re in the middle of summer, sweetie.”

“Yeah, in Brittain.”

Maddie laughed. “When did you get so cheeky?” She grabbed them from the rack to look at the price. Well, at least they were dirt cheap, they were out of season. Maybe she could haggle them down even further…

“Maddie, Maddie, Maddie! Can I get this top?”

“Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, I still need to get my magical supplies!”

“…” Phoebe slowly turned around and put the top that she liked back. The words ‘magical top’ floated through her head and wouldn’t really leave. The mittens that Alfie liked were forgotten as well.

Many of her children put their stuff back where they found it.

“Does everyone want something magical?” She knew it was a redundant question as soon as she asked it. Of course they did. She wouldn’t mind a gander at the magical world as well to be honest.

“Fine but we’ll have to go to that wizarding bank first to exchange all this money.”

A lot of sad faces at the registers, seeing all that good business leave.

xxx

Even for wizards it was a strange sight to see a small troupe of children marching two by two. Each with a small backpack, being led by a plump looking lady singing silly walking songs.

There were a few that looked on with disdain when they realized they were muggles, but by and large they were met with waves and smiles.

The children meanwhile, were gawping at all the strange sights. Pointing this way and that exclaiming loudly when one discovered something before anyone else did as they made their way towards the bank.

“Professor Flitwick!” Pinkie gasped suddenly.

Indeed, the short professor was strolling along in front of Gringotts. Flitwick turned around and received a welcoming hug.

“Everyone! This is professor Flitwick. He teaches charms and is the Ravenclaw boss.”

“Oooh.” The crowd went. Maisie took a picture.

Flitwick took it in stride. The facepalm from the only adult of the group made him smile just a little. He knew what it was like having worked in a school most of his life... Geez has it been that long?

“Hello Pinkie. What a coincidence are you heading towards Gringotts as well?”

“Uh huh, let me introduce everyone.”

She did so like everyone was her favourite character in a show.

“Wow, you’re very lucky Pinkie. To have such a big family.”

“I know right? Very exciting!”

Flitwick clapped his hands together. “Come on, let's all go to the bank together. I'm sure it'll be interesting.”

“Yaaay!”

As the children started running towards the crooked looking bank building, Maddie and Fillius started talking.

“Looks like a handful.”

Maddie shrugged. “Sometimes, they're good kids though.”

“I don't doubt it. Pinkie is a treat to teach. Though I hazard to say a bit impatient.”

“Yeah, that sounds like her alright.” She said with a smile. “Is she fitting in well at Hogwarts?”

“Oh yes, she's made a fair few friends and had an adventure or two when she was there.”

“Nothing dangerous I hope?”

“Not for a while.”

An inquisitive eyebrow raised upon Maddie's brow not really sure if he was joking or not. She couldn't really inquire any further. They had arrived at the bank. What a sight it was though it also looked slightly crooked. Maddie could appreciate the humor of it.

xxx

There was very little advance warning. Gringotts needed to prepare.

A silent code pink was declared and certain key individuals started to move. To the customers it appeared like nothing had changed. Behind closed doors it was a very different affair.

Frantic shouting, goblins running around with weapons. The fear was palpable.

xxx

Fillius Flitwick entered the bank with a gentle smile on his face.

His smile was not reciprocated by the guards at the entrance. The guards were gripping their spears tightly. An aura of anticipation hang over the bank like an oppressive fog.

The calm before the storm.

“Pinkie, why don't you and the other children go down to your vault while me and Maddie handle the boring grown up stuff?”

With a nod of the head Pinkie skipped along. She tried to get the others to follow her. Honestly sometimes it was like herding cats. It made sense of course. It wasn’t every day one laid eyes on a nation within a nation inhabited entirely by magical creatures.

She was completely oblivious to the fearful goblin gazes that followed her from the residents of that nation.

“Hiya Gorefist, it’s been awhile. Gold still flowing like water?” Pinkie asked as she sneakily offered him a cupcake with a pretty edible galleon on top.

Gorefist looked at her shiftily. “Always miss Pie, always.” He pocketed the cupcake hoping nobody saw and swallowed a lump.

“Me and my friends would like a trip to my vault please.”

“Of course miss Pie. Whatever you say…”

xxx

“You dare show your face here? With her? Have you no shame?!”

Professor looked at the glorified bean counter with pity. He has been feeling something similar for most of the goblin nation recently. “I’ve had a taste of the good life my friend. What is shame to me?

The teller narrowed his eyes in utter contempt. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t have you executed right on the spot?”

With a casual roll of his sleeve Flitwick’s wand fell in his hand.

“Y-you dare…”

“I dare. Now, I’m sure you wouldn’t be so foolish as to let anything happen to the mine cart of miss Pie now? Her… friends might be very distraught were such a thing to happen.”

The teller looked at Flitwick with utter contempt. For full five seconds he stared, then slowly his hands moved towards the phone on his desk.

“Call of the plunge.” He said defeated into the horn.

“Jolly good.” Flitwick said clapping his hands together, startling the teller. “Now do be a dear and give Maddie here the friendly rate would you?”

“...A pox on you, you filthy half-breed.”

xxx

She had no idea what was being said. Maddie had never heard a language quite like that. She was able to piece together that it wasn’t a very pleasant conversation.

Still, the professor smiled when it was her turn. In English he said: “Remember, the friendly rate.” And winked at Maddie.

She felt a little on the spot after all that drama. She didn’t want the teller to think that she was trying to… rip them off or something. Oh well might as well get on with it.

“I would like to exchange these pounds for wizarding money please.”

The goblin glared at them both. “One pound for one galleon.”

Flitwick held up two fingers behind Maddie.

“Fine, two galleons, but that’s it.”

xxx

“WHAAAAA ha ha ha ha!” Sophie was having the time of her life. Who knew that visiting a bank could be so much fun?

KASPLOOSH!! They just flew through a waterfall. These Goblins were completely mad! It was awesome. She was completely dry too. How did that work? Who knew?

Alfie looked exactly in the middle of scared and excited. Pinkie looked filled with pride. Happy to be able to show off the magical world in a fun way.

Suddenly a phone started ringing and the goblin that was steering the cart pulled out an old fashioned one from somewhere.

“Yes sir. Understood.” The goblin, Gorefist she thought , wiped his brow and seemed relieved about something. He pulled a lever and that was that. The cart did one more loop-de-loop before it came to a halt in front of a giant door.

“Pie family vault. Watch your step.”

xxx

Maddie sat awkwardly next to Fillius on an uncomfortable bench. The atmosphere was tense as they waited for the children. Every goblin on the premises seemed to be glaring towards Fillius.

He seemed to not mind in the slightest, as he was drumming his wand on his knee and humming. Flitwick hoped that his little show would prevent some young fool patriotic goblin from wanting to play the hero and attack him.

Let’s hope he was still quick enough should such a thing come to pass.

The awkwardness was starting to become a little too hard to bare for Maddie. Maybe a really good deal wasn’t worth all this aggravation. Though Fillius had explained that the normal rates were massively exploitative.

Suddenly a gate opened and a goblin decked in the finest of finery came thundering in with four elite looking guards at his side.

Flitwick recognized Ragnuk the goblin king easily enough.

“So…” King Ragnuk said, “you’ve picked a strange hill to die on.”

Flitwick shrugged.

“You know the client. This is treason.”

Tensions rose even further. Young goblins were gripping their spears tightly. Maddie couldn’t help but notice that she was the only human left in the room. She swallowed a lump, mostly because she still had no idea what was going on. They kept talking in that sinister sounding language. Was she being dragged into something? Where were the children? “Uhm… What’s going on?”

The king gave her a look but said nothing more. Maddie started to realize that maybe she should stay quiet...for now.

“Why?” The king asked sternly.

Flitwick took a long time to answer. He had a million thoughts going through his mind. “I suppose… because it gives me meaning.”

“What could possibly have more meaning then serving the nation?” He sighed. “It must be that human weakness in you.”

“Maybe.... Or maybe it’s just a different kind of strength?”

“…” The scowl on Ragnuk’s face set his guards on edge. They lowered their spears menacingly. “You’re making life very difficult for me Fillius.”

Fillius couldn't resist a smirk. “I’ve been doing that for ages.”

“…”

You could hear a pin drop. It was like the world itself was holding it's breath...

Kacklunk! The sound of a door banging open and children’s laughter filled the halls. “That was fun wasn’t it Alfie?”

“Yeah! Why don’t all banks have roller-coasters?”

Pinkie pondered Alfie’s question. Why didn’t all businesses have merry-go-rounds? It would make perfect sense. This would open a whole new venue, for fun and profit! She giggled.

“Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, we’ve been on a real mine-cart! It splashed through a waterfall, and there was a big gate thing! An-”

Maddie listened to the children as best she could as they were extolling the virtues of putting theme park rides in places of business. She nodded along keeping a wary eye on the goblin’s weaponry. They’d better not start a fight. Or she’d… well she’d do something.

The children themselves slowly started to realize that something wasn’t right.

“Something wrong?” Pinkie asked the fancy looking goblin. “Maybe I can tempt your tempers with a cupcake with your name on it?” She pulled one from out of her hair that was particularly sparkly.

There was a beat of silence as the goblin’s assessed this threat. Ragnuk looked at the cupcake and had to admit that he was tempted. “… No thank you.”

The guards breathed a sigh of relief as the tension faded at least a little bit.

“Well,” Maddie said, “This was illuminating but we must be off. Good day to you gentlemen.” She nodded her head and herded her children towards the exit. Fillius following along with them in the rear.
“Orders?” one of the guards asked.

Ragnuk clenched his jaw. “… Let them go.”

“But sir, the,-”

“I said let them go!” He turned his back and started walking towards the pits. He had some frustrations to work through.

xxx

He would need to talk to Albus about this. They need to find out what the connection is between the goblins, the Pie family and His machinations. It left Fillius feeling deeply unsettled, like standing at the edge of an abyss.

He stared at the grand Gringotts doors for what would probably be the last time in his life.

“Farewell...father.” He whispered, and turned his back. There was work to do.