It was another sunny day over Maretime bay. That meant that the ponys were, naturally, out and about, enjoying both the warmth and each others company. That in of itself wasn't too unusual, as the small town, located just near the borders of the Earth Pony territory, had always been something of a tourist trap. Come to take a swim at the fabulous beaches, the ads would say. Come take a tour of the one and only Canterlogic factory, come see the historical lighthouse. Ponies would come in during the warmer months, get some sun, take some pictures, and head to the shops. Then autumn would come and the town would slowly go quiet again until the spring. Such was life.
Well, for a while anyways. But then came the fateful day when one resident (and former local outcaste) managed to do something once said to be impossible. Suddenly, the quaint little tourist trap/seaport/company town had found itself to be the location of one of the most significant events in recent Equestrian history. Now ponies from all corners of Equestria were finding themselves drawn to the little town. And not just Earth ponies, but now there were Pegasi, unicorns, and there were even rumors of a dragon. The town was now finding itself hosting more travelers than ever before. Which was, in all honestly, a mixed bag. Sure, the extra business and whatever was always welcome. But having more tourists general also meant in increase in tourist of the more... eccentric flavor.
Such as, for example, the unicorn that just happened to be driving like a manic on her moped.
"Out of my way!" Izzy screamed as she furiously blared the horn at the mob of ponies. She then made a sharp turn to her right, narrowly avoiding crashing into a small crowd. The moped then abruptly skidded to a stop. Izzy quickly dismounted and galloped away, hoping to put as much distance between it and herself as possible.
However, despite possessing seemingly endless reserves of energy at times, the mare was no runner. Exhaustion soon overtook her, forcing her to slow to a crawl. Izzy then decided to stop and take a moment to catch her breath. She standing in the middle of the street, which was unusually deserted at the moment. She quickly scanned her surroundings, not seeing any signs of her pursers. Izzy breathed a sigh of relief.
A shadow passed over her. Izzy froze, her muscles tensing, her heart hammering in her chest. Maybe it was nothing?
The shadow passed over her a second time. Izzy noticed an alleyway beside her and quickly ran into it. She sat down between two dumpster, trying to control her breathing. Cautiously, she peeked around the corner.
She watched as the shadows danced around in a circle. Izzy knew she was flying overhead, searching for her prey. Suddenly, Zipp in the middle of the street. Her face was unreadable as she looked around. Then her nostril twitched. Zipp bent her head down, sniffing where Izzy had been. A growled escaped her lips.
Uh oh. Izzy needed to do something, fast. She then spotted a small metal can beside her. She grabbed it with aura, sent a quick prayer to whoever was listening, and flung it. Zipp whipped her head around, searching for the noise. Izzy held her breath. Zipp then turned around and galloped after it.
"Phew," Izzy said, wiping the sweat from her brow. She then stood back up, deciding that it was now safe to move. She crept out from between the dumpsters, trying to plot her next move.
However, just as she had set hoof outside the ally, she ran into something solid, sending her tumbling to the ground with an "Oof!" Izzy blinked and shook her head before looking up to see what she had hit.
"O-oh. H-hey Hitch!" Izzy said with a forced grin. "Fancy seeing you here."
"Wish I could say the same," Hitch said, narrowing his eyes.
"Eh heh..." Izzy stammered. "So um... I heard that downtown there's a huuuge pile of litter that nopony's bothered cleaning up yet..."
"Enough with the nonsense," Hitch barked at Izzy, who was trying to slowly crawl away. "You know why I'm here."
Izzy swallowed hard. "Hitchester, buddy, friend. Can't we talk about this?"
"We already did. You didn't listen." Hitch took a step forward, then he sighed. "Listen Izzy, I really don't want to force you to do this. You're my friend, okay? But you have to understand that I have to think about the town's safety." Hitch then leaned down over Izzy. Please, just come with me. I promise it won't hurt, alright?" Hitch then extended a hoof towards the unicorn.
Izzy started at the hoof, Hitch's words replaying over and over again in her mind. She knew he really didn't want to hurt her, that he was only doing this out of his duty to protect the town. And even if she could escape him, what then? She'd have no friends, no home. She couldn't even go back to Bridlewood, since they'd find her there eventually. Heck, they'd probably follow her to the ends of Equestria! She'd be on the run for the rest of her days. What kind of life would that be?
Silently Izzy grabbed Hitch's hoof, allowing him to pull her up. "Thank you," Hitch said quietly, "I knew you'd make the right decision."
"Yeah," Izzy said once she was back onto her hooves. "I did."
It was then Hitch saw that Izzy's horn was shimmering. "Izzy, what are y-"
BOOM
Zipp was slowly walking down the street, searching for any potential unicorn hiding spots. Her ears twitched, detecting a small "thunk." Zipp then noticed a trash can in her peripheral vision. A malicious grin spread on her muzzle. She lunged at the can, pressing down on the lid to keep it shut. There was rustling inside the can, as well as the tell-tale hum of a horn being activated. Both were music to Zipp's ears.
"Got you now!"
Zipp opened the lid. Inside was a uni-coon, staring at her wide-eyed and protectively curling around her two kits. Embarrassed, Zipp shut the lid and step away from the can.
Suddenly, a large explosion sounded off in the distance. She turned around, narrowing her eyes at the sight of a rainbow-colored cloud of smoke rising in the distance. Finally, she thought. Zipp then flew as fast as she could. She soon found herself above a street corner that was covered in multi-colored glitter. Her triumph lasted only for a moment however, as she then noticed a figure convulsing on the ground.
Her blood ran cold. "Hitch!"
She then landed beside the stallion, who was in the middle of an intense coughing fit. She helped him back onto his hooves.
"Z-zipp!" Hitch wheezed. "I... I-I... gak!"
"Shhh," Zipp said, rubbing Hitch's witters. "It's okay, just take a deep breath." Hitch complied, and then tried to wipe off his eyes.
"It was Izzy!" he explained. "I found her in the alley and she... she attacked me with a glitter spell!"
Hitch then fell into another coughing fit. Zipp wrapped a wing around him. She then grit her teeth. It was one thing for the unicorn to run away after they had offered to help her, but now she had attacked one of her friends?
"We need to find her?"
"How?" Hitch said. "We can't search the whole town by ourselves!"
"Actually," Zipp said, a devilish smile on her face, "I think I have an idea..."
Confused, Hitch watched as Zipp took out her phone and made a call. "Hey, it's Zipp," she said. "Yeah. Listen, we need to talk..."
Izzy stretched her legs, trying to make herself comfortable. Not that there was very much comfort to be found laying in a bush, for several reasons. There were a lot of bugs, for instance, whose tiny little feet and hairs made Izzy itch every time they tried to crawl up her legs. Which was, in fact, quite often. Then there were the sharp leaves and branches, always poking into her no matter which way she sat. Last but not least was the cold, hard dirt she had to lay on. Though, all things considered, Izzy had to admit the bush seemed to be working as a hiding spot. Sometimes you have to learn to appreciate the little things.
Cautiously Izzy lifted her head. It was now late in the afternoon. In a few hours the sun will have set and darkness will have taken its place. Izzy had decided that her best chance of survival would be to head back into the forest between Maretime-bay and Bridlewood. There she could hide for at least a few days, long enough to figure out where to go next. But Izzy also knew that her odds of reaching it at night were slim at best.
So without further ado, Izzy bid the bush farewell and exited her hiding place. She soon found herself back on the street, heading towards the distant forest. Fortunately for her, the more rural roads around the town were used sparingly, so she could travel out in the open without worrying about being spotted. This, however, lead to something that the unicorn was quite unaccustomed to: silence. There was seemingly no noise other than her own hoof-steeps. No wind, no birds and animals, nothing. Sure, Bridlewood was never exactly the most lively town. But still there was always somepony moving around, foals playing, ponies trying to ward off the jinxes.
But now? There was nothing. No pony was with her. Izzy was well and truly alone.
"PSST! "
Izzy's ears twitched, not sure if the sound was real or imagined.
"PSST! " The voice repeated. "Over here!"
Izzy turned around, not seeing anything other than a tree that she was walking beside. Suddenly, a figure stepped out from behind the tree, clad in a trench coat and sunglasses. Despite the disguise Izzy immediately identified them as a mare.
"Come closer," the mare hissed.
"Wait, Posey?" Izzy said. "What... what are you doing here?"
"Sh!" Posey then sequestered for Izzy to come closer and she obliged. "Listen, I've heard about what that Starscout's said she was doing this morning, alright."
Izzy winced at memory. "And," Posey continued, "I don't like it. So I've decided to help you out."
"You will!?" Izzy beamed, her heart leaping with joy. "Oh thank you! Thank you, th-"
"Sh!" Posey hissed, placing a hoof on Izzy's lips. "Yes, I am helping you. But there's something in my house we need to get first. Okay?" Izzy nodded, and Posey removed her hoof. "Alright then, let's go!"
Poesy than trotted off. "Wait!" Izzy cried as she chased after her. "What are we getting?"
"You'll find out soon enough. Now come on, move!"
The pair then raced back to Posey's home. Once there the earth pony unlocked the door and ushered Izzy inside.
"Okay," Posey said, shutting the door behind her. "Listen, what we need is in my basement." She then grabbed Izzy's shoulders and twisted her so that she was facing a door. "Down there and look at the wall on your right. You'll know it when you see it." Izzy nodded, then opened the door and headed down the stairs.
In hindsight, the fact that the lights were on should have been the first clue something was amiss. It was until she reached the foot of the stairs, however, that Izzy realized there were six ponies in the basement with her. Three were wearing hazmat suits, their faces obscured by their helmets. Two were Zipp and Hitch, the later still had flakes of glitter in his coat. And then there was...
"S-sunny?"
"Sorry Izzy. But we have to do this."
"NO!" Izzy screamed. She then bolted up the stairs. She grabbed the doorknob in her aura but it wouldn't budge. She then tired it with her hoof, only to realize that somepony was holding it shut.
"Posey, please! You have to open the door!"
"Hmmm," Posey replied. "Let me think about it... no." Izzy did not need to see her to sense the grin on her face.
"Please! Look, whatever they're paying y-"
"But that's the thing," Posey said, cutting Izzy off. "There not."
Izzy gasped and took a horrified step back away from the door.
A round of loud, manic laughter then sounded from behind the door. Horrified, Izzy took a few slow steps backwards, then she turned around to notice Sunny behind her.
"Oh. Uh, h-hey Sunny..." Izzy said, giving her the most innocent smile she could muster.
Sunny did not return her smile. Instead she said: "I'm sorry, but we have to do this." She tried to take a step forward, but then Izzy's horn began to glow.
"Stay back!" Izzy commanded. "I've got magic and I'm not afraid to use it!"
Suddenly, Izzy noticed a shadow pass over her head. "Huh?" she said before looking up. Zipp then lunged at Izzy from the top of the stairs. "Hey!" Izzy shrieked. She kicked and struggled, firing off beams of magic into the air haphazardly.
"Put me down!" She cried as she found herself hauled into the air. "Put. Me. Down!" Izzy thrashed about as much as she could, but she was simply no match for the stronger pegasus. She then realized she needed to change tactics.
"Wait! Okay! You guys win, alright! I get it, I'm a menace to society! If you just let go, I-I'll leave Maretime bay and never set hoof in it again!"
Sunny rolled her eyes. "Come on, Izzy. You know we won't let that happen."
"B-but... but..." Izzy then noticed the bin sitting in the middle of the room. She swallowed nervously. "Hitch! Hitch, you're all about law and order. Clearly this must be breaking at least a couple of bylaws!" Izzy said with a hopeful smile.
Hitch shook his head and sighed. Izzy then felt Zipp begin to lower her...
"Wait! There's uh... buried treasure! And only I know where it is! So you better let me go right now if you ever want to find... oh what's the use!" Izzy wailed miserably. "Just do it!"
Izzy then went limp in Zipp's forelegs, resigning herself to her fate. Zipp exchanged a nod with the hazmat ponies and lowered Izzy into the bin. Something cold and wet then splashed onto Izzy's hoof.
"Aaah!" Izzy cried, causing a startled Zipp to drop her with a splash. Izzy screamed.
"OH MY GOSH! IT BURNS! IT BUUURNS!" Izzy screamed again, surpassing her previous attempt in strength and volume. Then her knees buckled and she collapsed. Her friends ran over, peering over into the tub to find Izzy laying face down in the water.
"I-Izzy?" Sunny whispered. She gently prodded her side with a hoof. "Izzy?"
Izzy's head then perked up. "I'm okay," she said with a smile. She then scooted forward so that her forelegs were dangling over the rim of the bathtub. "The water was just reaaally really cold and I think I got some soap in my eye, but I'm good now," she beamed.
"So..." Pipp interjected, wearing a hopeful look under her hazmat helmet. "...Are you ready for your first bath?"
"...I guess," Izzy said after a long, sad sigh.
"Perfect!" Pipp then turned to the other two hazmat ponies. "Jazz, Rocky, c'mon! Were gonna make this pony look fabulous!"
"Hooray," Izzy grumbled as the three went to work. Meanwhile, the other three ponies in the basement watched on.
"So..." Zipp said, placing a hoof on each of her friends shoulders. "Am I good or what?" Neither gave any response. "Oh wow, thanks Zipp. If it wasn't for your idea I don't know how we would have gotten Izzy to take a bath."
"Don't you think it seems a little under-hoofed though?" Sunny said.
"Aw, pfft!" Zipp replied, waving a hoof dismissively. "C'mon. It's not like were doing anything illegal."
"That's a worrying low bar," Hitch retorted.
"Don't be like that glitter boy." Hitch scowled, realizing that he now had a new nickname. "Hey, look at it this way. Remember when we stole mom's crown? Was that legal?"
"...No?" Sunny said cautiously.
"Exactly. But we did it anyways. Why? Because it was the right thing to do!"
Hitch rolled his eyes. "When did I get two Sunnys?"
"Alright! Forget I said anything then!" Zipp snapped, crossing her forelegs indignantly. "Just 'cause your cute doesn't mean you get to be a jerk," she added under her breath.
"I... I'm what!?"
Suddenly, the author's attempt to turn this mess into a shipfic was interrupted by a fit of laughter.
"UGH! Dang it Izzy! Hold still!" Pipp commanded.
"I-I can't!" Izzy said as Jazz and Rocky attempted to restrain her. "I-it... it TICKLES!" Izzy started laughing again, flailing her limbs like a mad mare and striking Jazz in the gut.
"OOF!"
"Jazz!" Rocky cried. "Are you alright?"
"Y-yeah... uh, I think so."
"...oookay," Pipp said with nervous smile. "I think that's enough for now."
"Aw," Izzy pouted. "Already?" Izzy then climbed out of the tub and without any warning shook herself dry. Zipp, Sunny, and Hitch all reflexively ducked to avoid getting wet. Izzy didn't seem to notice, instead she was preoccupied with smelling herself.
"Wow," she said. "It's kinda funny." A faraway look suddenly appeared in her eyes. "My Unicorn stank. All those years I spent working on it. Getting as sweaty as possible, finding the freshest garbage, trying to make it as pungent and musky as possible..."
"Yeah, kinda noticed," Zipp deadpanned. The other ponies all nodded in agreement.
"But now I smell... different. And I kinda like it! And my fur is so smooth a-and soft, and I could see the shine in my hooves..."
"So..." Sunny said with her trademarked optimism. "You liked taking a bath?"
"Are you kidding! That was totally amazing!"
"And you're not mad that we tricked you into coming here?" Sunny grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back her neck.
Izzy then drew the three into a tight hug. "Aw guys," she said sweetly. "I'm not mad at you. I just very disappointed, that's all." Izzy released her friends before continuing. "Right now, I've got a mission." Izzy then pointed to herself before adding: "I have to tell everypony how wonderful baths are!"
Suddenly there was a flash of light and Izzy was gone. Before anypony could wonder where she had gone, a loud voice then sounded from outside:
"HEY EQUESTRIA! I'VE GOT SOME NEWS FOR YOU!"
Pipp turned to address Hitch and Sunny. "We're gonna end up regretting this, aren't we?" The two murmured in agreement.
"Welp," Zipp said, clapping her hooves together. "Looks like our work here is done." She then flew over towards the basement door and grabbed the handle. To her surprise it didn't budge. "Uh, Posey?" she called. "We're done. You can unlock the door now."
No answer. Zipp frowned. "Posey?"
"We still got enough left for one more?" Pipp said.
"Affirmative," Rocky replied.
"One more?" said Zipp. She then turn around. "One more what? Guys..."
Sunny and Hitch where both pointed not looking at her, while Jazz and Rocky simply started blankly at her.
"Pipp?"
The princess sighed, giving Zipp a sympathetic look through her helmet. "Sorry Sis," she said before guestering towards Zipp with a hoof.
"What are you talking ab-" Zipp then noticed Jazz and Rocky approaching her. Her eyes widened.
"Wait! We don't have to do this! We could work something out and... hey! Get away from me. Wait. No! NOOOOO!"
Author's Note
You know, I think that "Unicorn Stank" is more marketable than Uni-cycling. Hasbro, I'm available if you're hiring.
