Diaries of a Former-Hater

by Dragoneer BLG

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Human, Random
Length: 3922

Xander Archibald has been a hater of the show since it started. But that's all about to change!

If there was one thing that Xander Archibald couldn't stand, it would be the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. When his new roommate, Chris Patterson is revealed to be a brony, Xander finds it hard to get along with him. However, one experience is about to change his life forever.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-28 06:44:38 UTC

The New Roommate

My name is Xander Archibald. I’m nineteen years old and currently attending my sophomore year in college. One question that people keep pestering me about is what do I think of the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and I reply that I think it’s one of the best shows ever put to television. Everyone I know knows me as one of the biggest bronies they’ve ever met. I talk about the show in public places; I draw fan art and write fan fiction, and I even attended some conventions every now and then. However, I wasn’t always like this. I used to be very unpleasant when talking about the show. I was extremely critical, hateful, and very short-tempered about other bronies. If you told myself a year ago that I would become brony, I’d probably tell you to get your brain checked. What happened last year will always be one of my most memorable life experiences. This is how I was turned from being a hater to becoming a brony.

_____

Over the summer, I worked at a local toy store to help save up money for college. I have a younger sister named Sarah and she has recently gained a fascination for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I thought it was cute of her for liking a show that was tailor-made for her. On rare occasions, I had grown men purchase Pony-related merchandise. I didn’t say much to them, because I would get fired if I ever insulted a customer. I just forced a smile and wished them a good day.

For a while, I’ve wondered what is it that this show brought that attracted so many grown men to its fan base. It seemed like a cult following to me. I didn’t want anything to do with the show, because not only was it not made for me, but also because the fans are just downright weird. I was promised myself, “I will never become a brony.”

With enough money saved up, I enrolled in a nearby university. I was even able to move in into the dormitories, which was what I was hoping. I was told I was going to be sharing the room with someone else. That didn’t too much, since it’d be nice to have someone to study with. I arrived at the dorms. My room was on the second floor of the building, which had a great view of the neighboring mountain range. I looked on my slip of paper, directing me to which room I’ll be staying in. It said I was sharing a room with someone named Chris Patterson. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited to get accustomed to my new room

I came up to the door and inserted the key. I opened the door, looked around my new room, and in that instant, I want to hightail it out of there. The walls were covered with My Little Pony posters. Small, plastic figurines were littered on the dressers and on top of the TV. A guy about my age was sitting on the bed on the far side of the room, next to the window. He noticed me and came up to greet me, while I just kept thinking in my mind, “Please tell me I’m in the wrong room.”

“Hey there, are you my new roommate?” he asked extending a hand out in greeting.

“Are you Chris Patterson?” I asked nervously.

“Eeyup!” he answered and followed up with a slight giggle. “And you are?”

I was still so devastated by the fact that I’m going to be stuck with this guy, I almost forgot to answer. “Oh, I’m Xander.” I eventually replied.

“Xander?” Chris asked. “That’s a cool name!”

Chris invited me into the room and started telling me a little bit about himself. Surprisingly, he didn’t make any mention of the fact that he may or may not be a brony.

“Oh and I hope you don’t mind my pony stuff.” Chris said.

The aura and vibe of the room was a little unsettling. This guy was a full out brony. I even noticed that he had a keychain of Applejack on his belt loop. “I guess it’s something I have to get used to.” I said.

I didn’t want to offend Chris, because he seemed like a nice enough guy. I tried my hardest to keep my hateful comments contained. “Oh, if you don’t like then I’ll take them down if you want.” Chris said.

“If it wouldn’t be too much trouble.” I said.

I noticed that Chris’s face started to turn very negative. It was very subtle, but noticeable nevertheless. “Alright then if that’s what you want.” Chris said reluctantly.

He started to take down his posters one by one, rolled them up, tied them with a rubber band and hid them in a plastic bin underneath his bed. Even though I felt a little bad about having him take down his posters, it felt really good knowing that I won’t have ponies surrounding me when I study.

“What, do you hate bronies?” Chris asked.

I couldn’t help it anymore. “Yes I do.” I started. “Why on earth would anyone like this show? It’s for little girls. Anyone who enjoys the show must have really bad taste in television.” At this point, I was almost yelling. “Tell me, what is it about the show that has you so interested? Because you enjoy watching little girl shows? If that’s the case, go get a sex change! Either that, or just get your own room where you and your ponies can spend the rest of your life alone!” I dropped my head in my hands and gave out a long sigh.

Now that I got that off my chest, I waited to hear Chris’s response. I expected him to burst into tears being the immature person he is. Instead, my comments did nothing. I looked back up and found Chris just giving me a confused look. He wasn’t crying, he didn’t seem offended; he just took my bashing like a real man. “Have you even seen an episode of the show?” he replied in a semi-angry voice.

“No and why should I?” I said back.

“I’m surprised you enjoy making critical assumptions over a show you’ve never seen before.” Chris went on. “For me, that’s more immature then liking a show that’s for a younger demographic." His tone started to be a little more lighthearted. But again, that’s my opinion and you also have yours. What do you want for dinner tonight? My treat.”

I was almost blown away by Chris’s response. I just got served! I didn’t know how to reply to that. “Um…is Chinese okay?”

_____

That night, Chris and I didn’t do much by ways of conversation. He simply went to bed after dinner. For me, I couldn’t sleep, not knowing if it was because of what happened earlier that day, or if it was because I ate too many eggrolls. Either way, I couldn’t sleep. Eventually, the insomnia started to bug me, so I figured if I watched something on the TV, I’ll fall asleep eventually.

The remote of the TV was on the nightstand in between our beds. I turned the TV on instantly began switching between channels. Eventually, I came across Friendship is Magic. In response, I quickly pressed the button to move on to the next channel, but nothing happened; I was stuck watching the show. Even turning the TV off didn’t help.

Chris woke up and noticed what was going on. “Xander, you’re watching the show? I thought you hated it.” Chris said in a tired voice.

“I do, it won’t let me change!” I replied in a frustrated tone.

Chris looked at the screen and looked very confused. “Strange. This is not in any other episode.”

Season two of the show wasn’t supposed to be released until later this month. At this time, Chris has seen every episode of the show thus far. If he didn’t recognize the scene, then something was really wrong. On the screen, the main six characters of the show, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash were talking about finding somebody! The characters in the show NEVER say somebody, without a little slip up of the writers. In any case, this wasn’t any ordinary episode.

“Girls, I found him!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed pointing directly at the screen.

The other ponies turned and seemed to notice as well. “Let’s get him!” Twilight shouted.

All six ponies ran for the screen. At this moment, Chris was completely confused on what was happening. At one moment, all six of them leapt in the air and entered into the dorm from the TV. “Xander Archibald!” Applejack shouted. “We finally found you!”

“What!?!” Chris and I shouted in unison.

Rainbow Dash flew up to me with her face in my face. She was not happy in the slightest and I’m not going to lie, it scared me to death. “We heard about what you said about us.” she said.

“We haven’t met anybody so dastardly cruel.” Rarity exclaimed. “You’re coming with us right now!”

It felt like my mind was about to burst from all of this. At the corner of my eye, I noticed that Chris went back and forth from being confused to being absolutely star-struck. “I can’t believe it!” he said. “You’re in my dorm room!”

The six turned to face Chris. “Oh, I know you!” Pinkie shouted. “You’re..um…Charlie Peterson! No, uh, Caden Paulsen! Wait, I know for sure, Colton Paddy-cake!”

“Christopher Patterson!” the other five said.

“Oh, that was my next guess!” Pinkie replied.

“You guys know me?” Chris asked, trying to keep in his fanboy-ness, for lack of a better term.

“Of course, we’re familiar with all of our fans.” Twilight said. “We know when you guys are watching or not. It’s really complicated so I won’t go into any further details.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Christopher.” Fluttershy said. “You in particular I’ve really been fascinated in.”

Chris’s smile at this moment rivaled that of Pinkie Pie’s. “I honestly don’t know what to say.”

“I know what to say!” Rainbow said turning her attention back to me. “You’re coming with us! Princess Celestia has requested your presence in royal court!”

“What?” was all I could say.

I had to think of something fast, or else I'll taken to the land of little girl fantasies. As fast as I could, I ran for the door, swung it open and ran down the hallway. "Rainbow, stop him!" I barely heard Twilight say.

It wasn't long until the light-blue pegasus tackled me. It was a good thing she wasn't so heavy, making it easy for me to get her off. I looked back and noticed the other five were on pursuit as well. Twilight had her horn glowing pink and fired a beam of magic at me. It moved so quickly, I couldn't avoid it. My body began to glow a similar color of Twilight's horn. I started to feel very drowsy and in less than a few seconds, I was asleep.

The Train Ride

I took a few deep breaths before I even attempted to open my eyes. I had the weirdest dream; the main six characters from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic came through my TV and tried to take me to their leader, Princess Celestia. Hopefully, I would get my mind off it today. I instantly noticed that I was lying in an awkward position, I’ve never lain like this before. In fact, I wasn’t even on a bed. I heard the sound of metal running across metal and whatever I was lying on bounced every now and then.

I instantly opened my eyes and looked at my surroundings. I wasn’t in my dorm room anymore, but instead, I was inside a train. “Where am I?” I softly asked myself.

Suddenly, Pinkie poked her head from behind my seat. “We’re heading to Canterlot for your trial!” she said happily.

My heart dropped. This was real! I’m really going to be trialed! For what? For an opinion? That doesn’t sound worthy of being the subject of a trial.

“How do you like your new body?” Twilight asked as she stood next to Pinkie.

New body? Come to think of it, I couldn’t feel my fingers and toes. I looked at my body and freaked out. I was wide awake now, seeing that I have just been turned into a pony myself. I had a cyan blue coat with a brown mane and tail. My cutie mark was a scroll with a quill, since I enjoy writing in my free time. I couldn’t believe this was really happening. “What did you do to me?” I asked.

“I turned you into one of us.” Twilight replied. “Now, you’re just like everypony else.”

“I can’t stay like this!” I argued. “I have school in a few days.”

“Calm down, you’ll be back by then.” the purple unicorn responded in an annoyed voice.

How was I even going to adjust to this new body? Horse anatomy, or any kind of anatomy for that matter, is not really my thing. Being forced to walk on four legs is not going to be easy to adapt to. I figured I might as well try anyway, despite it being a little bumpy due to the train ride. I moved myself towards the end of the bench and tried the best way I know to stand. I first planted my hind hooves on the ground and once I got a good center of balance, I dropped down on my front hooves. Not long after, I collapsed. Now I know how a new baby foal feels.

From behind, I could hear Rainbow Dash laughing. She was sitting a few seats behind where I was along with Applejack. Fluttershy and Rarity was sitting on the next bench over. It was only the seven of us on this car. “Have you forgotten how to walk?” Rainbow asked.

“I’d like to see you try walking on two legs!” I said back in rebuke. “You guys are REALLY making me like you even more.” I love when I say something sarcastic.

“Xander, relax.” Twilight said. “It’s Rainbow Dash; she’s like this to everyone.” Twilight smirked.

“What was that?” Rainbow asked angrily.

I tried standing up, which wasn’t as difficult as I thought. Back on my hooves, I tried walking; but boy, who would’ve thought walking on four legs would be so complicated. Every step I took did not feel natural and all I was doing was making myself look even more stupid. I could honestly tell that Rainbow Dash was enjoying this, no thanks to her constant giggling.

“That’s it.” Twilight said. “Applejack, take Rainbow in the other car.”

“Yes, ma’am!” the cowpony replied happily, dragging Rainbow Dash into the car behind them by her tail.

Twilight hopped down from her seat and stood beside me. She smiled at me and I even found myself smiling back. “Looks like I’m even going to have to teach you how to walk.” the unicorn stated.

She went on to tell me on what hoof to move to walk normally. Even with her instructions, it was still a little bit of a challenge to get it down. Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rarity didn’t really seem to mind and didn’t spend their time watching me. I was happy about this, because they didn’t really care about a human trying to walk like a horse and making an absolute mockery of himself. Rainbow Dash, again, seemed to be the only one who would give me a hard time about anything. Watching her be turned into a human and be forced to walk on two legs would definitely be a sight to see!

“Try walking across the train car.” Twilight insisted.

“Okay then.” I replied.

From what I gathered, I first take steps with whatever front hoof I find comfortable. Whichever I start with, I also life the opposite hind hoof at the same time and take a step forward. Then alternate back and forth, but I was told that the front hoof should always be planted first before the hind hoof. Even with someone as simple as walking, being a pony was not easy.

_____

After a while, I started to get the hang of the walking. It now felt very natural to me; and it’s weird for me to say this, but I just had to thank Twilight. She was sitting on the same bench as before while I was on the bench where I woke up. “Excuse me, Twilight.” I said.

“Yeah, Xander?” she asked back, smiling at me

.

“Um…I want to say thanks.” I spat out reluctantly. “For teaching me to walk I mean.”

“Oh, that’s no problem at all. We’ll be arriving in Canterlot soon, hope you have something to say to the princess.”

“What accusation?” I started to get a little frustrated. “Do you mind telling me what this whole trial is about?”

“You’re not being trialed.” Twilight replied. “Remember what I said before? I only said Princess Celestia wanted to see you in royal court, I didn’t say anything that she was accusing you of something.”

Now I felt like an idiot. I didn’t know what else to make of it. Whenever I hear the word ‘court’ to be used, it’s usually for a trial of convicting a crime. My mind started to settle as I knew I wasn’t in as big of trouble as I initially thought. “So, why does your princess want to see me?”

“Oh, you’re just going to have to wait and see.” Pinkie Pie suddenly blurted out. “Princess Celestia usually sees ponies for something really good!” Pinkie put on a huge smile that stretched across her face. “Or something really bad.” now her face makes me want to kill myself. “But don’t worry, you’re not in trouble.”

“You guys sure sounded like it when you came through my TV!” I barked back.

“That is because we overheard conversations you had with several other bronies.” Rarity jumped in. “We did not like how you reacted to us.”

As soon as Rarity mentioned my previous conversation with bronies, several memories flooded my mind. I remember I bashed on a few people when I saw them watching the show on their iPhone or iPad. “Were you guys watching me?” I asked nervously.

All four ponies in the car nodded their heads. I placed my hoof to my face and sighed. “But we cannot convict you based on an opinion.” Twilight said. “Princess Celestia has something else planned for you.”

“Twilight, we’re almost there!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Look, I can see the station!”

“Rarity, go get Applejack and Rainbow Dash.” Twilight said. “Tell them that we’re here.”

Rarity headed into the next car as I could feel the train slowing coming to a stop. “We have arrived in Canterlot, thank you all for riding and gave a great day, everypony!” the conductor said over an intercom.

“Well, let’s go, Xander.” Twilight hopped off her seat and started walking towards the front of the train.

I followed close behind as many thoughts continued to flow through my mind. Out of all the brony haters in the world, why did she have to pick me? I figured it’d be best to save my questions for the princess and just enjoy the scenery, if at all possible. I got off the train to see the streets of Canterlot be completely full of ponies. Immediately, I started to feel very uncomfortable, fearing that any moment, one of them would try to score with me.

I felt a pony’s hoof be placed on my back, making me flinch. I turned my head to see it was Rainbow Dash smirking at me. “So, what do you think?” she surprisingly asked kindly.

I didn’t know what to think. All of this just seemed so awkward and new to me, it was difficult to come up with words to explain my thoughts. The last thing I wanted to do was to make me an easier target for Rainbow Dash’s sass. I had to say something. “Uh…it’s very nice.” I just blew it.

“You still hate us?” Rainbow brought her head closer to mine.

I violently shook my head, making Rainbow step back a few feet. I started walking forward, following the other ponies towards the main castle. I was at a loss for words when I walked deeper into the city. It was absolutely beautiful! I’ve traveled to many beautiful cities, but none of them were compared to Canterlot. The structures were just elegant in both workmanship and material. I have an uncle who works as an architect in Las Vegas and I often see some of his blueprints of houses and bridges, so I know my stuff when it comes to architecture.

The main castle of Canterlot rivaled that of the Salt Lake Temple. It stood out in what was already a gorgeous city with purple and gold spires mounted on top of its massive towers. Also, the fact of this city being built on the side of a mountain just adds the whole iridescence of the city. The cobblestone streets were stunning. It’s no wonder why Canterlot is mainly for the wealthy and upper-class. Even as someone who really doesn’t like the show this is from, I was completely in awe.

The citizens were a different story. If there’s any kind of person I can’t stand, besides bronies, it’s snooty, rich people who think they’re always better than everyone else. More than half of them had their heads tilted up, eyes closed, and don’t believe in casual clothing. I have family who live in England and are part of the English high-society. I can’t stand them, even when we do visit them on occasion. But even despite the citizens, I was starting to enjoy Canterlot.

_____

I sat in the courtroom, built similar to a standard court. Two of the royal guards were posted at the main entrance holding spear-like weapons with their hooves. There were several benches, but the audience we had were the main six characters of the show. I stood at the defendant pulpit waiting for the princess. Another guard came in through another entrance near the plaintiff pulpit, which was currently empty.

“Please rise.” the guard announced.

We all stood up as Princess Celestia entered the court room and took her spot at the judge’s pulpit. My heart began to race, worrying what she was going to do to me.

“You may now be seated.” the guard said.

The main six sat back down on the front row of the benches as I looked up at Princess Celestia. Her expression was fairly neutral. She didn’t look angry, but also didn’t look too thrilled to see me. “Xander Scott Archibald.” she started. “First off, I want to formally welcome you to Equestria.”

“Uh…thanks…your highness.” I softly replied. Anything to not piss her off.

“Now, bring him in.” Celestia said.

The guards at the main entrance stood aside and opened the door. A bright-orange coated pony stepped in. His mane and tail were a dark brown with some black in it as well. He was a unicorn and had the cutie mark of a book. I nearly froze when I finally recognized who he was.

Chris.