All Our Things Are Horse Things!

by Flutterflyer

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Profanity, Random, Sex, Sunset Shimmer, Main 7 (EqG), Twilight Sparkle (EqG), My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Vice-Principal Luna, Equestria Girls
Length: 7287

Sunset turns the entire world into ponies. The world is somewhat displeased by this.

Sunset turns the entire world into ponies. The world is somewhat displeased by this.

(Sex tag is for references to it and not anything that happens in the fic.)

(Somehow managed to be featured third and then second on 11/11/22! Before becoming first after that for a day! And remaining in featured box for six days overall!)

Published 2022-11-11 09:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-11-11 09:40:01 UTC

In Which Many Mistakes Are Made

Author's Note

At long last I can finally upload this! This fic was written months ago, just before I began work on my entry for the Lyrabon contest, but because of deadlines for contests and time it was unable to get edited before now. So despite the similar concept it has nothing to do with the transformation prompt given in Bean's writing server. But thanks a lot to my friend for editing this, even doing most of it in one day!

This idea was purely born from a random joke I made to my friend that we liked so much I expanded it into a full fic. I hope everypony enjoys!

In Which Many Mistakes Are Made

“Thanks for coming today girls!” Sunset said with a smile, Twilight at her side as their five remaining friends entered the previously unoccupied science classroom.

“Of course we came!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie. “Your text was like super direct to come here as soon as possible! What kind of friends would be if we didn’t meticulously follow every vaguely worded text from you?”

“Ones that probably deal with much less magic than we have...” muttered Rainbow, before nervously giggling as Fluttershy glared at her.

”We’re always here if you need anything, Sunset.” the pink-haired girl smiled. “And we’re all very excited to see what you wanted to show us. You sounded really excited when I saw you earlier.”

”That may be true, darling. But I would prefer it if you could be a tad snappy explaining it. I have a fashion show I simply must get to after class today, and it is essential that I have enough time to get ready.”

“Got it Rarity. Anyways, me and Twilight have been-“

”Dating for the last few months and you’ve been awful at trying to hide it from us? Yeah, we noticed.” Rainbow said with a smirk, both girls blushing at her words before starting to stammer.

”W-what!? No! W-we’re not a- That’s not what- No! Don’t-“

”WHO TOLD YOU!?” shrieked Twilight, everyone going silent from her words as the purple-haired girl turned bright red.

Sunset facepalmed.

Twilight blinked. “Haha... oops? I mean... that was a joke! Yeah, a joke! From me! Twilight Sparkle! Who loves making jokes! Yep, that’s me alright!”

Sunset's head was in her hands.

”I’ll stop talking now.”

”Please do.”

Sunset didn’t know if she was embarrassed or relieved at how unsurprised their friends were at the news. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were smiling happily, while Rainbow smirked and held her hand towards Applejack, who passed her a twenty dollar note with a sigh.

“You were betting on our love life!?” hissed Sunset in disbelief, Twilight’s face turning an even brighter shade of red.

”Of course!” boasted Rainbow. “It was obviously going to happen eventually! We were just betting on when it would happen.”

”In my defence, she got competitive about it..”

”Oh my gosh this is so exciting! You two are so cute together since you’re both like super nerds and really smart and you had all those parallels in the Friendship Games and you hang out all the time and- AH THIS IS SO GOOD I NEED TO PLAN A CONGRATULATIONS ON GETTING LAID PARTY RI-“

”PINKIE!” Sunset and Twilight cried in unison. “Yes you can throw us a party. But after we actually explain what we have here! This could be a breakthrough in our studies of Equestrian Magic!”

”We’ve been working on this baby together for months now! Using the readings my counterpart sent over, we should theoretically be able use this to strengthen our link to magic!” Twilight explained with a smile, waving her hand towards the black device that was covered with levers, buttons, and lights.

”Oh awesome!” cried Rainbow, her eyes shining in wonder. “Does that mean I get to be even faster now!?” she asked hopefully, Sunset receiving a judging glare from Applejack, the girl fully aware this idea was going to be brought up a lot over the next few weeks.

“Well, perhaps. But that’s only a theoretical outcome, which at this point in time we have no way of proving for certain. That’s something we will be able to properly confirm after some field tests.” Twilight quickly explained before Sunset could form a word, the girl seeming to savour the scientific explanation even more after the earlier awkwardness.

”Oh come on...” Rainbow pouted and crossed her arms. “Now it's all eggheady. You're sucking the coolness out of this!”

”Well, I think it sounds most practical! Being able to make those gem shields last forever would be quite helpful with designs I’m working on. And I could save so much too! Wherever did you find the time to work on this though darlings? If you were dating then...” Rarity paused, glaring at the guilty-looking couple before sighing.

”Oh heavens, making this was the date, wasn’t it?”

“N-not all of them!” Twilight protested.

“You two are somehow both so precious and completely devoid of anything romantic… but now I know you're a thing! So I will be more than happy to set up something far more fitting for our high school sweethearts!”

“Haha! That’s so… nice of you Rarity!” Sunset said nervously, trying to ignore the feeling of dread in her stomach as she turned to her invention. “Let’s just try this out first and we can get to all of that stuff! Anyways, I’ll just start with turning it on and-”

With a flick of the switch, the machine whirred to life, the various lights glowing brightly as Rarity, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Applejack “ooooo”ed in excitement, Rainbow simply rolling her eyes with a “meh, seen cooler.”

Sunset, meanwhile, blinked and leaned towards her girlfriend with a look of concern. “Hey, Twi… isn’t it supposed to do that after we program something into it for it to do?”

“Y-yeah… guessing you didn’t add that when I wasn’t looking?” asked the purple-haired girl, her eyes widening as Sunset shook her head. After thinking about it for a few seconds, Sunset bent down to turn off the machine so she could find the issue.

What was not supposed to happen was for her to lose balance, squeak, use the machine to stop herself from falling and accidently press almost every button on it.

The machine’s whirring grew louder.

“That… ain’t good… is it?” asked Applejack, Fluttershy eeping and hiding behind a table.

“Are you kidding!? Things are finally getting exciting!”

“SUNSET SHIMMER IF THIS RUINS MY DRESS I WILL NEVER LET YOU HEAR THE-”

The machine started to smoke.

“Oh horseapples.” muttered Sunset before the systems finally shut down, magic bursting from the device as everything went white.

—

“Owwwwwwwwww…” grumbled Sunset, her eyes fluttering open as she flinched in pain. “My head… what in Celestia's name happened?”

Slowly, the world came back into focus, the unrecognisable blurs eventually clearing up into the classroom once more. It took her a few seconds to remember what happened, her eyes fully widening as the realisation hit.

”TWILIGHT! GIRLS!? Is everyone al- woah!” she cried, getting to her feet before suddenly losing balance and landing flat on her back.

Sunset groaned, her instincts still groggy from whatever had happened, her body somehow feeling both strange and familiar at the same time. Absentmindedly, she closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead, brushing her hair out of eyes, past her horn and-

Her eyes shot open.

”Oh shit.” she whispered, staring at her hoof in dread as six other screams of varying reactions filled the room.

“Oh my stars... I’m a horse. I’m a horse. I’m a horse. WHY AM I A HORSE!?”

”Oh dear... oh my... oh I’m not sure how to feel about this... ”

”WHERE DID MY CLOTHES GO!? WHERE ARE MY ACCESSORIES!? THIS IS THE WORST POSSIBLE THING!”

”Oh. Now this. Is. Awesome!”

”Oh my gosh! We’ve been turned into ponies! Oh this will be such a good party trick since I could be like hey look at this and suddenly blam I’m a horse! And everybody will be like wow Pinkie how did you do that apart from Maud she would probably ask if I could do a rock next and-“

”Don’t freak out, don’t freak out, don’t freak out... I’m freaking out. I’M REALLY FREAKING OUT! AHHHHHHHHHHH PONY THINGS! NOT AGAIN! NOT AGAIN! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO MY HOMEWORK WITHOUT OPPOSABLE THUMBS? OH GOSH HOW AM I GOING TO READ!?”

Sunset blinked, watching her friends' varying reactions as Rainbow zoomed above them, Applejack stared down at herself in shock, Pinkie Pie bounced happily, Fluttershy used a wing to pick up her phone and check her reflection, and Rarity threw herself onto a table in a mock faint.

Besides Rarity, it was clear that Twilight was taking this the hardest, Sunset trotting over to her hyperventilating girlfriend.

”Deep breaths Twi. Deep breaths. It’s fine. I’m here. Also you're a unicorn. You can just use magic to turn the pages.”

”Oh yeah, right.” giggled Twilight, Sunset rolling her eyes in affection as she broke her girlfriend out of her spiral.

“Feeling better now?”

”A little.”

”Good. Since we really should work on fixing this. Like right away. Before our friends lose it. Think you remember enough from last time to move around alright?”

”I-I think so...” Twilight muttered, blushing at Sunset’s concern, barely paying attention to what their friends were doing for a moment.

”O-oh do be careful up there Rainbow...”

”Oh come on! I’ll be fine Fluttershy! I’ve done this before you-“ Fluttershy flinched as Rainbow suddenly dived into the ground, barely missing Applejack as she skidded across the floor.

”You were saying?” Applejack smirked, giggling with Pinkie as Rainbow grumbled into the floor.

Despite the cheerfulness of some of their friends, Sunset still couldn’t help but shuffle in place nervously, especially when Rarity recovered from her breakdown and glared daggers right at her.

"SUNSET SHIMMER! WHAT DID YOU DO!?" she cried, her face alight with fury as the red-maned unicorn gulped.

"W-well... it appears I may have accidentally turned everybody in this room into ponies?"

"Oh thank you for the clarification, darling. WE WOULD HAVE NEVER FIGURED THAT OUT BY OURSELVES! Sunset dear, please answer me something.”

“S-sure?”

“Well, it’s only a simple question darling! I was just wondering how I am supposed to get ready for the fashion show tonight WHEN I'M A BLOODY HORSE!?" The white unicorn screeched in panic, the other ponies recoiling from the volume.

"Um... I also think it would be... eh... difficult to do my work at the animal shelter if I'm... um... also an animal... so if you change us back... I would... probably like that... if you don't mind." whispered Fluttershy.

"Yeah, next time, save the weird inventions for the bedroom. None of us needed to know you were lonely like this."

"W-WHAT!? I do not get lonely like that! Besides, I just told you I’m dating Twilight!" Sunset stammered in mortification.

“Hey, I’m not judging your kinks!”

“Oh my Celestia please tell me you did not just-”

"Girls!" Shouted Twilight, her eyes narrowed as she attempted to refocus the conversation now that she had recovered from her own freakout. "We get it. This is weird! This sucks! But if we put our heads together, we can fix this before anybody finds-" she froze, suddenly interrupted by the sounds of screaming echoing through the school, everybody's eyes widening in alarm.

"T-they could be screaming about anything. Right?" Applejack asked.

"OH GOD WE'VE ALL BEEN TURNED INTO HORSES!" the voice of Flash Sentry rang out.

Sunset started to sweat.

"Ok so maybe.. it affected more people than everyone in this room." admitted Pinkie. "But that's no reason to panic! It can't get any worse than-"

Screams echoed from outside the school.

"Please tell me someone just stubbed their toe and everyone outside isn't also a pony." Sunset begged as Fluttershy poked her head out of the window.

"Ok. That’s what happened." Cheerily said Fluttershy.

"That isn't true, is it."

"Nope, sorry..."

Sunset's tried to remain calm.

She lasted five seconds before starting to hyperventilate.

—

Sunset never thought she would miss those initial days of distrust after she had her change of heart. The feeling of judging glares, muttered comments and a general feeling of loneliness consuming her every day. It sucked. It was awful. But it was behind her now, never to be thought of again.

But that was somehow not as bad as the sheer judgement and annoyance in almost everybody's eyes as she entered the packed gym. Well, the ponies that weren’t crashing into walls, falling over from trying to stand on two hooves, or accidentally lifting others with their magic.

She was going to be sweating a lot today.

Her stiff smile didn’t help matters, nor did Twilight's identical expression.

At least Pinkie looked happy.

Sunset took a deep breath, giggling nervously as she wondered if the school had calmed down from the initial shock, and were now thinking logically.

“Uncurse us now foul demon!” cried Derpy, her hooves crossed before she dropped like a rock and crashed into the ground once more.

Or maybe not.

Truthfully, she hadn’t set her hopes too high anyways, Luna’s announcement on the intercom not only interrupted several times via her hoof slipping off the button but ending with a furious.

“EVERY STUDENT REPORT TO THE HALL AT ONCE BEFORE I HAVE AN ANEURYSM!”

Sunset of course wanted to use this time to plan. She could send Twilight and the others to stall for time while she prepared the machine, calmly have someone (or somepony. Celestia she was going to have to get used to saying that again…) explain the situation and say she was working on it, or even pin the blame on the sirens so they could stall for time.

But of course, Rainbow had cried “Race you!” and flown off. They could have just left her, but if they knew anything by now, you should never let Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash handle anything alone.

It didn’t help that Applejack had viewed it as a challenge and ran after Rainbow. Pinkie Pie thought it would be fun and Fluttershy wanted to make sure Rainbow didn’t crash again before they could even think of something else they could try to do.

She loved her friends, really. But she really wished she wasn’t one of the only two people that still processed a brain cell.

There was no point staying behind when over half of the group had already left, Twilight doing her best to ensure Sunset it was all going to be fine while Rarity continued her very annoyed glare.

The continuous nervous giggling probably wasn’t helping either, the group trotting in front of the stage where Luna was waiting, Sunset suddenly very aware of the wings and horn glowing with very powerful magic.

“Sunset Shimmer.” she said slowly. “How nice of you to finally join us. I trust you will be able to offer an explanation FOR WHY WE HAVE ALL TURNED INTO HORSES!?”

“Haha… well i-if you want to be technical then w-we’re all actually ponies?” She giggled nervously, instantly regretting it as she earned a harsh glare from the vice principal.

“Forgive me if I do not see the importance of that right now Miss Shimmer!” Oh Celestia, she was really mad, the rest of the school giving similar glares as Twilight swooped in to rescue her.

“W-wait everyone! S-Sunset’s just a bit nervous since our invention going wrong is kinda why this hap-” she froze, Applejack groaning and facehooving while Rainbow sniggered under her breath.

Correction, she had attempted to swoop in.

“So it is because of her!” accused Octavia.

“She’s corrupted Twilight this time too!” Really Flash? Were you still trying to get points with her!?

”She’s gone back to the dark side!” Shouted Derpy from the floor. “Grab her and Twilight before it’s too late! Before she turns into a she-demon again!”

“Oh the horror! The horror!”

“EVERYPONY QUIET!” shouted Sunset as she leapt onto the stage. “Yes it was my invention! But it wasn’t like any of this was on purpose! I know I was a bitch to all of you for years, but surely you’ve learned to trust me by now!”

”Pffffff yeah!” Cried out Pinkie. “Like imagine if us and the entire school turned against her just because of some circumstantial evidence after the battle of the bands! That’s ridiculous! Good thing that never happened!”

”Yeah, you all need to cool it!” Rainbow added as she flew upwards. “None of you are going to accuse Sunset! Twilight and her are all of our best bets to getting back to normal anyways.”

”Well said darling! All of you really should stop worrying about such silly little things!” said Rarity with a flick of her mane, which earned a stare from Applejack.

”Uh guys?” asked Twilight. “Are we really forgetting that everyone outside the school is also a pony? Shouldn’t we be concerned with how everybody is taking this in case anything bad happens?”

”W-well... it’s not like there’s any news reports at the moment... I think everybody is still panicking or they haven’t figured out how to type with hooves or wings yet...” Fluttershy frowned sadly, turning on her phone and seeing the new notification of “WEDON’TKNOWWHAT’SHAPPENINGEVERYBODYPANIC”

“My, they might have had that up sooner if they didn’t insist on having that apostrophe…”

“As long as we solve this quickly it will be fine! Me and Twilight will head back to do it now! But seriously guys? Why did you even think I was doing this on purpose to be evil anyways?” Sunset asked before sighing and facehooving from the silence she got in return.

”None of you had a clue. Did you?”

“We... uh... thought you wanted a horse army?” Sweetie Belle suggested.

”I just thought she was lonely.” Added Bon Bon, Sunset’s eye twitching as Rainbow cackled behind her.

”REGARDLESS OF THAT. We are working on a solution!” she said with gritted teeth. “We will reverse this! You will all be back to normal in like... uh....”

”22 minutes to an hour and a half?” suggested Twilight with an uncertain smile.

”What she just said!” Sunset exclaimed, the crowd of students erupting into cheers, at least leaving her relieved she wouldn’t have to deal with any hate.

”NOOOO!” screamed a voice from the back, Sunset groaning as Lyra cried to the heavens, Bon Bon turning red as everypony turned to face them.

”LYRA! You're making a scene! Be quiet!” she hissed, turning red while her mint green companion grabbed and shook her.

”But Bonnie! I don’t want to be a human again! This is everything I’ve ever dreamed! YOU CAN’T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME SUNSET!”

“Lyra. It’s nice and all that you're taking this well. But not every human secretly wants to be a pony like you!”

”Y-you don’t know that! You cannot ignore us forever! I am only one of many!”

”Yes. She is wrong.” Rainbow butted in with a smirk. “Since that implies Lyra possesses something called subtlety.”

Now that was a sentence strange to hear coming from her.

”She’s right dear. And you wondered why I assumed you were behind this at first... now can you please stop drawing attention to-“

Unfortunately, Lyra didn’t seem to be listening, her face suddenly beaming.

”Ohhhhhhhhhh Bonnie I just had the best idea! Do you ever wonder what magical pony sex is like!? What a silly question of course you do! Let’s try it! Come on! It will be hot!” she said in excitement as ponies around them blushed madly, including Bon Bon herself.

“What the fuck, Lyra!?”

“Exactly!” She said cheerfully.

“LYRA PLEASE! WE ARE IN PUBLIC!”

“Wait you want to do it he-”

“NO! GOD NO! LYRA WHAT IS WITH YOU TODAY!?” Bon Bon shrieked, blushing harder than anypony Sunset had ever seen before.

“W-well it would make all my dreams come true… please? Please? Please?” she begged, Bon Bon struck by a pleading glare as she muttered a response that made her marefriend beam from ear to ear.

“YAY! YOU'RE THE BEST BONNIE!” she cheered, lifting the blushing Bon Bon with her magic and trotting away into the halls.

For a moment, nopony said a thing.

“Yep. My retirement plan just moved up.” Luna said aloud, her words pulling Sunset back into action.

“Ok. Anypony else have any objections to-” she began, before a burst of smoke erupted behind them.

“Oh for Celestia’s sake…”

“I OBJECT! The great and powerful Trixie is not ruled by the will of Sunset Shimmer! She objects to her decision!”

“For heaven’s sake darlings, this isn’t a courtroom!”

“Dang it Trixie! We just finished dealin’ with Lyra! Nobody here wants to know your fetishes!” groaned Applejack, Rainbow’s laughter growing into overjoyed cackling as Trixie turned red and stuttered in defence.

“N-NO! That i-isn’t- I wasn’t- no! L-LET TRIXIE EXPLAIN! DO NOT GROUP HER WITH THAT DEVIANT!” she hurriedly exclaimed as most of the students rolled their eyes.

“What do you want, Trixie?” asked Sunset, the pony girl feeling so very tired with everything as she answered, unable to stop the snarkiness slipping through as the blue unicorn regained her composure.

”The Great and Powerful Trixie opposes you Sunset Shimmer! While Trixie has to get used to... well... being a pony. And yes she does miss being able to stand up. And hands. And fur gets itchy easily. And...”

”Oh for the love of... get to the point!” shouted Rainbow.

”Fine! The very to the point Trixie refuses to go back when she finally has access to great and powerful magic! You cannot take this from Trixie! Not when it is finally within her grasp! I AM NOW THE STRONGEST AND MOST UNRIVALLED PONY IN THIS SCHOOL! AND SOON THE WORLD! FOR NOBODY ELSE HAS ABILITIES LIKE-“

She paused, watching as Sunset lifted up a chair with her magic and stared at her, Twilight and Rarity doing the same with other items with varying success.

”Ok now that’s not fair.” grumbled the pony, turning around in a huff and trotting away. “Stupid other students becoming Great and Powerful...”

”You know, how do you grasp things with hooves?” asked Pinkie, Sunset simply sighing In response.

“Does anypony else have any objections!?” she asked in a tone that may have given some of the less popular students flashbacks to her meaner days.

”Good!” She shouted, her mane looking slightly frizzy. “Now me and my friends are going to fix this. Don’t panic. Call your family! Tell them everything’s fine. Tell them to try some hay! Tell them you all have to move to farms! I don’t care! Just let me handle it already!”

”Oh dear.” shispered Fluttershy. “She’s Sunsetting.”

“I’ve got it.” Twilight said, closing her eyes and lifting up her girlfriend with her magic and calmly trotting towards the exit with her friends and Luna.

”Maybe I shouldn’t even try to reverse this! I can handle being a pony just fine! You know what was really hard!? LEARNING TO BE A HUMAN! I guarantee that I had it worse than any of you! So how about you all stop being wimps and just deal with it!?”

”Yes yes dear. I’m sure the school is very sorry.”

”They’d better be! If they areweren’t! I’ll! I’ll! Go on the school roof and sing about how pissed off I- OOF!” she rambled, Twilight flinching as her magic fizzled out and dropped Sunset right onto Applejack’s back.

”DANG IT! Do ya mind Twilight? I thought we were trying to leave without making a scene?”

”I’msorry Applejack! I’m... still not used to this!”

”That I doubt.” Rainbow snickered. “I’m sure you’ve had plenty of practice with Sunset by now!” she laughed even louder at how red the couple got at that, both of them fuming in a mixture of anger and embarrassment.

”For Celestia's sake, are we still on this? Why does everybody in this school think I’m lonely!?” Sunset shouted while her girlfriend whispered in a frequency low enough that only Fluttershy could pick it up, the pegasus comfortably patting her on the back with her wing.

”That's nice and all. But could you... get off me already!?” asked Applejack in desperation, hoping for some form of salvation as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, said salvation was more pain.

”PILE ON!” cheered Pinkie Pie, the earth pony leaping onto Sunset’s back and crushing both her and Applejack beneath her. “Oh my gosh guys, you were right! This is such a fun idea! We should do this more often! It’s like a hug mixed with a tower!”

Watching this, Luna felt her spirit leave her, taking deep breaths as her horn started to glow. “Oh hell, please let me be somewhere else right about-”

BLING!

There was a flash of light, and the group vanished from the hall, leaving some very concerned students and staff that had just witnessed their only hopes argue like children.

There was silence.

”You know what? I think I’m done this time.” slowly said Cheerliee. “I have reached my limit. We are totally screwed and I am not being paid enough for this. So I’m going to see if magical ponies can get drunk. Just. I’m done. Cheerilee is fucking out! Peace!”

It was probably depressing just how many students agreed with her.

—

Another loud BLING brought an end to the stillness of Luna’s office, along with the sudden arrival of eight ponies; Applejack, Sunset, and Pinkie screaming with varying emotion as they rolled off the desk they just appeared on while Fluttershy spun on the office chair. Thankfully the others seemed to avoid any embarrassing situations, Luna blinking as she looked around in shock.

“I... was not aware I could do that.”

”It’s all the Alicorn magic in you.” Sunset explained as she got to her hooves. “It can be a little unstable, but you probably just activated the magic without meaning to since you're so stressed.”

”Wait,” said Twilight, looking up with a start. “I just realised something! Why does she get wings!? My counterpart has wings too! How is that fair!?”

“Oh yeah. Never noticed that.” commented Rainbow before smirking. “Guess Vice Prin is like... 20% cooler than you.”

”I must admit even I’m slightly curious...” said Rarity, the group at least relieved that something had distracted Sunset from her breakdown.

”Oh it’s not some big mystery. The Luna and Celestia in my world are both natural born Alicorns. Twilight was just gifted it. And since the magic we unleashed is obviously Equestrian in nature, it makes sense that it’s as specific as it is. So, sorry babe.” Sunset explained as her girlfriend pouted.

”But I wanted wings too... think of the research!” she whined as Sunset comforted her.

“Well maybe if you have a never-before-solved maths problem lying around…” the unicorn thought aloud, before the pair was distracted by Luna’s overjoyed shout and expression.

”Yes!” she exclaimed. “My funds have been doubled! In your face Cadence! I knew I was right!”

”Are you kidding me!? Even the staff was betting on this!?” cried Sunset, barely even registering Rainbow’s laugh, a sound she had heard so much today it may as well be background noise.

”Well obviously. Where do you think I got the idea from?” said Rainbow with pride, hoof bumping Luna as Sunset’s eye twitched.

“W-well… anyway darlings!” Rarity interjected, hoping she could prevent another breakdown. “How about we get to addressing the actual issue now?”

“Oh right… we’d better hurry too!” added Twilight. “If we wait much longer, who knows what could happen? We can’t just leave everyone as ponies! We should get to work as soon as we can!”

“Of course! Don’t worry Luna! We’ll get right… wait a minute.” Sunset narrowed her eyes. “Where’s Celestia? I just realised we haven’t seen her since this happened. Is she ok?”

Luna suddenly looked very awkward.

“Ah! Yes! C-Celestia… well… you see… it’s… well…” Sunset could feel another migraine coming on, unable to form any words other than a low growl that sounded more wolf-like than anything.

“Vice principal Luna… where is principal Celestia?” asked Fluttershy.

“I... well… I suppose that’s something else I should mention. It’s another reason you should try and deal with this as soon as possible. How should I put this…” Luna muttering to herself before sighing as she put it in as simple words as possible.

“My sister has a god complex and is trying to become princess of earth.”

“WHAT!?” cried the seven ponies in unison, Luna sighing again as she poked the TV remote on button with her horn, the screen flaring to life.

—

“ATTENTION PEOPLE OF EARTH!” shouted the large white alicorn, her wings spread wide as she perched on the roof of the white house.

“I KNOW YOU ARE AFRAID IN THESE TROUBLED TIMES. BUT YOU NEED NO LONGER FEAR! FOR I, CELESTIA, EMBODIMENT OF THE SUN, AM HERE TO LEAD OUR NEW PONYKIND INTO A BOLD NEW ERA! ONE OF PROGRESS! ONE OF EQUALITY! ONE WHERE SCHOOL PRINCIPALS WILL NO LONGER HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE RESTRICTIONS OF SCHOOL BOARDS AND BUDGETS! A UTOPIA RULED BY A SINGLE, EVERLASTING PRINCESS!”she announced for the world to hear, descending into crazed laughter as the edges of her mane alarmingly seemed to glow and burn with the light of the sun.

Luna finally managed to turn the TV off after that, via accidentally dropping the remote as she tried to hold it with her hooves.

“She’s been up there for two hours. I think the current president is actually considering her offer too. So for the love of all that is holy, please reverse this before I have to buy a “world’s best princess” mug for her.”

Sunset stared blankly.

“Oh my. I think you’ve broken her.” commented Fluttershy.

“I’ve only seen this once before! It’s quite fascinating really!” said Twilight, before quickly shouting. “AND NO IT’S NOT SEX RELATED RAINBOW.”

“Awwwww…”

“Doubt Lyra’s the only one we should be concerned ‘bout when all Rainbow’s done since becoming a pony is make sex jokes.” Said Applejack, savouring the shocked expression she got in return.

“W-WHAT!? NO! I DON’T-”

“Wait, Rainbow has a pony fetish too! Why did nobody tell me!” Pinkie said happily. “I could have planned a party and got Rarity to make fursuits!”

Rarity, who had just started drinking from a cup of water, spat it all over the floor.

“I DO NOT LIKE PONIES LIKE THAT!” Rainbow screamed, Fluttershy giggling as she helped Twilight push Sunset out of the room, the others following them.

“Good luck!” Luna called after them. “Try and reverse this by tonight if you can! I have a tournament to be ready for, and I don’t think I can use controllers with my hooves…”

“Hang on, you actually play video games?” asked Rainbow in disbelief, the Alicorn simply smiling in response.

“Oh don’t be so surprised Rainbow. Besides, I’m sure you know exactly how skilled I am in fighting games, miss Spitfirecansteponme20. Especially with how much you try to get to the top of those leaderboards”.

“No way… YOU’RE NIGHTMARE MOON!? YOU’VE BEEN MY GAMING ARCH NEMESIS THIS ENTIRE TIME!?”

“NIGHTMARE MOON!?” suddenly screeched Sunset, her eyes wide as she lifted up the desk with her magic. “WHERE!? I’LL SMASH HER! I’LL SAVE US ALL!”

She got several blank stares in return.

”You know, I’m not even going to ask.” said Luna calmly, shaking her head. “Just... go and sort this out.”

“Got it! We won’t let you down!” said Sunset, putting down the desk and trotting out of the office with the others.

”I don’t want to be... well... that girl. But how on earth are we going to fix this, darlings?”

”Pfff... it will be easy! Sunset and Twilight will figure it out like they always do!” Pinkie said happily, the other two smiling in return.

”W-well... we'll do our best!” Twilight reassured, her girlfriend’s eyes narrowing in focus.

”Ok. Here’s the plan. You five go and watch the others. Make sure they don’t panic. Maybe some of you could try and organise things outside if you can afford to. Make sure to keep us updated if things somehow go to crap even more.” she explained, her friends nodding as they hurried back to the hall.

”Are you doing alright?” Twilight asked in concern.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry, let’s just- hey, is that...” Sunset tilted her head, hearing the faint sound of music as Vinyl turned a corner, bopping her head to the tune she was listening to before pausing as she saw the couple.

As always, she was silent, her mouth falling open in shock as she pulled her headphones down. It took Twilight a moment to realise why she was confused, groaning as she facehooved.

”Vinyl. Did you seriously not notice that we’ve all been turned into ponies?” asked Twilight in disbelief, the other unicorn looked down as her mouth went into a small “o” and shook her head.

“Man. Must be good music.” commented Sunset, Vinyl smiling and nodding enthusiastically while Twilight groaned behind them both.

”Sunset? Shouldn’t we, you know...?”

”Oh right!” said Sunset, her eyes widening in realisation. “Sorry Vinyl, but we have to go and try to fix this now. We’ll talk later!”

Vinyl nodded with a smile, the couple running back to the science room while the unicorn looked down at herself again, shrugged and started the next track on her playlist, sliding her headphones back on and trotting away.

—

“Man, it’s been a long day…” muttered Sunset, using her magic to tighten one of the screws on the machine in front of her as Twilight looked at her in pity.

“Tell me about it. Just remember, nobody blames you for this. Everybody’s calmed down now and-”

“By calmed down do you mean they are actually calmer or they’re too busy being absolutely hammered?”

“Everybody copes in different ways. Even if it’s… less than helpful…” Twilight admitted with a shrug, using her magic to adjust her glasses. “At least I’m finally getting the hangd of this magic!”

”I knew you would be a natural.” Sunset said in pride, blushing a little as she turned away. “I was hoping I would see it if we ever had a date in Equestria though...”

”H-Huh?” Twilight flushed, the sound that left her lips almost reflective of the gears turning within her brain. “Y-you... we... I... you wanted...”

It took her a minute to regain her ability to fully form coherent sentences, the unicorn continuing to blush as she spoke. “I-I didn’t know if you were allowed to take me… or if you even… well… wanted to…”

“What do you mean? Of course I want you to see my home! You're my girlfriend Twilight. I don’t want to make you feel like I’ve locked you out of a part of my life!”

“I-I… guess I was worrying about nothing then…”

“What else is new?” Sunset answered teasingly, walking up close and smiling at the blushing unicorn, their breaths hitching as they leaned in close and…

“Ugh. Boring! Aren’t you supposed to be like… unhorsing everybody?” asked Rainbow with a raised eyebrow. Her sudden appearance made them both jump in surprise, blushing madly as Rainbow snickered. “Yeah, and they said I was more horny as a pony.”

“Rainbow! W-what are you doing here!?” stammered Twilight, the blush threatening to consume her entire face.

“Y-yeah! I thought you were watching everybody else!”

“Yeah, but I got bored. Everyone else had it covered. So I thought I would see how you were doing. Have to say, I was expecting you to be working on the machine and not… well… each other.” she said with a smirk, wheezing at Sunset’s groan.

“We were working on it fine before you got here!” insisted Twilight.

“Oh you were working on what I saw wonderfully.”

“I hate this.” muttered Sunset looking back at the device with a sigh. “I just don’t know where to start on this thing either! There’s so many systems and subroutines to narrow down that we could be here for hours!”

“I know! I’m still not sure why it even did this in the first place!”

Rainbow sighed.

“Maybe if we try the omega drive?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes.

“Nono… I checked that already. Did you try rebooting it in fusion mode?”

Rainbow’s expression turned hopeful.

“Obviously! That was the first thing I did!”

Then she went back to tapping her hoof, humming in thought.

“Right, right… how about we try and reverse the polarity of the ne-”

“THAT’S IT!” Rainbow screeched suddenly. “THIS IS GOING WAY TOO SLOWLY! Fluttershy and the others want to be human again! Can you both just… do this faster!?”

“Rainbow Dash. We are dealing with complex machinery and the fabric of reality here! This is not something we can just speed up! You just have to wait and-”

“Sorry, can’t hear you! Too busy actually doing something!” Rainbow shouted, Twilight and Sunset almost having heart attacks as their friend grabbed the device and held it above her head.

“RAINBOW NO! DON’T DO ANYTHING RASH!” pleaded Twilight.

“I’M GOING TO YEET IT!” she cried.

“DO NOT DO THAT!” screamed Sunset.

“WHY NOT? I SEE NO DOWNSIDES TO YEETING IT!”

“RAINBOW YOU DOING THAT COULD DESTROY THE VERY FABRIC OF OUR EXISTENCE! DO NOT YEET IT!” Sunset screeched louder before letting out a high pitched whine as Rainbow tossed it out of the window.

The two unicorns dashed to the window, mouths open in terror as the device smashed to pieces after landing on the top of the statue, the remains sparking while the familiar whirring sound filled the air.

Slowly, Sunset and Twilight turned towards Rainbow.

“What? Smashing the thing that’s causing the problem always works in films. So I yeeted it!”

The whirring grew louder.

“RAINBOW DASH IF THIS KILLS US I WILL FIND A WAY TO KILL YOU AGAIN!” screamed Sunset as a familiar white light spread outwards and engulfed the world.

“DID YOU JUST USE YEET AS A VERB!?” shouted Twilight in identical fury, in what might have been the last sound heard in the world.

—

For the second time that day, Sunset groaned as she awoke from her improv slumber, shakily getting to her feet as she briefly wondered if she had gotten herself drunk on a school night again. That was until memories of the day flooded back, the girl’s dizziness vanishing with a start as she hurriedly looked around.

She was still in the science room, the fact that the machine was missing following Rainbow’s “problem solving” annoyingly confirming that the last few hours weren’t some crazy nightmare. What she was more concerned with was what she looked like, looking down and breathing a sigh of relief as she found hands once more.

“I cannot believe that worked.” she said, relieved her voice was the same too, a quick check of her phone showing she looked completely normal.

“Ha! I knew it!” shouted Rainbow in victory, the girl shooting up before cringing at the headache that followed, Twilight not sharing her enthusiasm as she wobbled unsteadily.

“That should not have worked.” Twilight said with a scowl. “I refuse to believe that it worked. That defies every law of common sense. Let alone scientifically!”

“Well, it worked!” said Rainbow cheerfully. “So I’m going to check on everybody else! Be right back!” she said before zooming away. Sunset put her hand on her girlfriend's shoulder in comfort.

“I feel like we cheated.” grumbled Twilight.

“Don’t think of it like that! How about… more like… an alternative solution?”

The glare she got in return quickly shut her up.

“They’re ok!” Rainbow cheered as she dashed back into the room. “Everybody in the hall at least! And the people I saw outside too! Have to go though! I think Luna wants me to get Celestia off the roof of the White House before anyone sees she’s still there!” she shouted before boosting away once more.

“Well… all’s well that ends well at least?” said Sunset uncertainly to her girlfriend, who smiled and sighed.

“I suppose. Just do me one favour?”

“Anything.”

“Let’s never speak of this again. Like. Ever.”

“Ha! I can do that.” laughed Sunset, her girlfriend blushing at the sound as the two of them walked into the hallway together.

“So… what should we do now?” she asked, Sunset humming to herself in thought before they turned to each other with identical gleams in their eyes.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Gather the leftover parts of the machine and try again at Sugarcube Corner?” Twilight answered in excitement, Sunset’s smile growing even wider.

“Yes! Oh Celestia, I love you!” she shouted as they dashed outside, Sunset so caught up in her excitement that she missed the very persistent vibrations coming from her bag…

—

Meanwhile in Equestria, Tartarus itself had broken loose.

“WHAT’S HAPPENED TO US!?”

“OH THE HORROR! THE HORROR!”

“MY LEG!”

“WE’VE BEEN INVADED BY ALIENS THAT HAVE TURNED US ALL INTO ALIENS!”

“OH MY CELESTIA THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER! BONNIE LOOK AT HOW AMAZING THIS IS!”

“Lyra. Did you wish really hard!?”

Cries echoed through the streets as the panicked citizens ran around in panic, some trying to still use all their limbs while others attempted to adapt to two. The suddenness of the transformation managed to take everypony by surprise.

Of course, as always this crisis was being handled by the greatest of Equestria’s heroes.

“SUNSET SHIMMER!” Princess Twilight angrily wrote with her newfound hands in fury, her eye twitching in anger as newly transformed humans ran and screamed outside her castle window. “I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE BUT GET YOUR FLANK BACK TO EQUESTRIA RIGHT NOW SO YOU CAN UNDO IT! Your very annoyed friend. Princess (which I am deciding to emphasise for no particular reason with this message) Twilight Sparkle.”

With that, all she had to do was wait.

“Oh Twilight you never said how cute these hooman things were! Could I borrow one for my sanctuary?”

“WHY CAN’T I FLY!? WHERE ARE MY WINGS!? WHERE’S THE SPEED!? I CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS TWILIGHT! I GOTTA GO FAST HERE!”

“How in Celestia’s name does anypony begin to design clothes for these things!? I have to say darlings, I think it’s a lost cause.”

“While this could help me round the farm, I would rather be… you know. A PONY!”

“Oh wow, this is the bestest surprise ever Twilight! I have no idea how you turned everypony into humans! This is so cool! This is like the best party trick! You should do this more often! I can’t believe you kept such a good party trick from me! You sly dog! I wonder what you're going to do next? Oh my gosh it could be anything! I’m so excited! What do you think Maud!?”

“I’m dying from the anticipation. Can you do rocks next?”

“SEE! EVEN MAUD’S EXCITED!”

“TRIXIE I’VE ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT THIS WASN’T ME!”

“A likely story, Starlight! But the untrickable and unfooled Trixie sees through your deceit! After all, this reeks of a spell backfiring! And you do that every other week!”

“OH COME ON, I’M A DOG AGAIN!?”

Twilight slammed her head into the table in front of her.

Luckily Sunset wouldn’t keep her waiting for much longer.

Right?

“I-I mean it’s not like she’s doing something that means she won’t check the journal for hours, right? HAHA! THAT WOULD BE RIDICULOUS!”

It was going to be a very long day for everypony.