Frost has long since formed on the windows of each home in the city. Snow easily piles up on sidewalks and the night just gets darker as time goes on. Thankfully, most people have a roof over their head to keep away from the cold, but even in these situations, someone can be miserable. At this late hour of the night, all the lights are out in the small apartment except for the bathroom lights. Looking into the mirror, a purple woman simply stares at her reflection, wondering what she should be doing. No matter how hard she tries to sleep, her mind won’t let her. Not for a lack of being tired or an abundance of thoughts, but her body just won’t let her fall into the blissful slumber she desires. Her hands grip the counter as hard as she can, her eyes staring into the reflection with a frown written across her face.
“God damn it,” she whispers to herself, finally looking away from the reflection and gazing down at the sink’s drain, her mind feeling like it’s fracturing simply from stress alone. “I already took the insomnia meds. What else do you want from me?” the purple woman asks her own mind, trying to get some form of an answer as to why she can’t fall asleep. Alas, no response comes to her, only proving to irritate the siren even more. Aria grabs her head and sighs heavily, trying to think of something to make herself fall asleep. Sonata always talks about boring stuff like her love for tacos or what cartoons she likes. Maybe that could help? Just the thought of hearing a conversation like that again makes the siren tired, but it can’t make her fall asleep… “What am I doing wrong?” Aria can’t help but ponder that question almost every single night… Her lack of sleep always seems to affect her mood and her relationships with other people, so she always tries to find some sort of answer as to why she can’t rest.
The truth is that she’s felt this way ever since her and the other sirens came to this world… This damned world full of weird creatures known as humans. She didn’t have a problem sleeping back in Equestria, but ever since they got here, sleeping has become a chore for the siren. Aria sometimes asks herself why it had to be her to be affected by insomnia and not someone like Adagio… Adagio could probably handle it a lot better, right? She’s gotten enough beauty sleep for multiple lifetimes, so it’s not like it should affect her in the slightest. The thought, as appealing as it is, makes Aria frown slightly, holding onto the counter once more. The truth is that she wouldn’t actually wish this upon anyone, even Adagio. In her own opinion, this feeling is equivalent to torture…
“Nothing works… Fucking hell,” the purple siren vents out of frustration, her mind wandering to the numerous methods she’s tried to counter this issue. Melatonin gummies, insomnia medication, and even sleep therapy. Nothing worked for her. If anything, the medication only makes her feel more depressed rather than helping her fall asleep… The little sleep she does get is interrupted half the time by the neighbors or construction outside. She wouldn’t admit it, but Aria has ended up crying on multiple occasions due to this issue. Still, she had to hide that from her girlfriend. It’s not great for her own appearance to be caught crying at something as mediocre as sleep. Or her lack of it. That’s all that matters at this point, right? Looking good in front of others and keeping your darker secrets bottled up.
Sonata doesn’t need to hear any more about her sleep troubles… Especially when she can’t help fix the issue. All it would do is cause her to worry, right? It would be better to just keep it inside and move on rather than dwell on it. Keep it as a silent battle that only she has to endure. Not Adagio or Sonata. Not anyone else. Just Aria… Her own personal torture, keeping her up at the darkest parts of the night. Not even the sound of a bird is outside, leaving her alone to her thoughts. She could always wake up Sonata, but she knows the true value of rest at this point… Who is she to rob Sonata of her own sleep just to get rid of this dreaded loneliness? In her mind, it’s not her place to try and take what little peace she has in the night. A peace Aria herself wishes she could have…
Turning on the faucet, Aria tries to drown out her own thoughts, pressing her back against the wall opposite to the sink. Why did she have to take sleep for granted back in Equestria…? She’s only a few thousand years old and now her life simply feels like a never-ending cycle of tired days and depressing nights. Is the world laughing at her…? Looking down at her and dooming her to repeat the same pattern every day? It’s not like it would be abnormal… The shadows on the walls already laugh at her every action, ridiculing the little self-respect she does have. Whether or not the young siren admits it, her tough exterior is fragile… The little things get through to her and her mind is tormented by everything from the past. Maybe it wouldn’t bother her so much if she wasn’t alone.
Despite how hard Aria tries to harden her walls and make herself seem unbreakable, the cracks only get more visible in the dark. “I’m fine. I don’t need anyone… I can handle myself,” she whispers in an attempt to bury her fears, failing to dispel the dark. No matter how hard she tries to reassure herself that she’s strong and fearless, the shadows never fail to laugh at her, cracking her ego just a little more. Sliding down the wall, Aria quietly sits down on the cold tile floor, feeling the sound of the running water become numb to her. Everything dulls eventually… The buzz of alcohol, the high of drugs and even the pleasure of sex all grow dull eventually. Everything a siren could use to try and distract herself from the pain of life gets old and stops working. “Nothing works…” Wrapping her arms around her body, she tries to relish in the small amount of warmth, the cold of the bathroom’s surfaces leaving her body in a shivering state.
She’s tried everything… Everything she can think of at least. Even other pain fails to distract her from this hell she calls life. Wasn’t a knife supposed to bring some sort of escape from your thoughts? Maybe it did at first. She can’t remember… Now, all it does is remind her of the precipice that is her life. This overwhelming loneliness threatens to push her over that cliff, no matter how she might try to avoid it. She can barely afford to live as it is. Being brought to another world has a way of making it hard to get a job and keeping it is difficult with her lack of rest. Is it maybe better to just stop trying? Maybe living is too hard… This celestial punishment known as her existence is almost too much to bear.
This isn’t the first time the young siren has thought of that alternative… to stop trying… To maybe let go of the wheel and let the shadows have their final cackle. Is that what she needs to do to silence them? To escape this never ending cycle of exhaustion and dulled senses? The overwhelming feeling of being alone and the uselessness of life surrounds her thoughts… The cold feeling of the night knocks on her mind, making a rhythmic sound.
Knock.
Knock..
Knock…
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“Aw, come on! It’ll be fun!” Sonata pleads with Aria, grabbing her hand with puppy dog eyes. Despite the fact that Aria constantly belittles the blue siren, she always chooses to stay and to be Aria’s friend rather than leave. This is a concept that Aria never really understood… She always made it clear to Sonata that her antics annoy her and she would rather be on her own, yet the blue siren continues to pester her. Even when Sonata gets annoyed by Aria's comments, she still sticks around and chooses to be her friend. What possesses her to do this…? Is it loyalty? If so, why would she be loyal to someone like Aria?
“You think eating a taco is fun…?” Aria slowly asks her girlfriend, raising her eyebrow. Even though Sonata’s reason for sticking with her is unclear to Aria, she’s still grateful to have her around. Sonata is the only person who seems to understand the siren for who she is underneath her shell… How can she so easily look past the gruff and hard attitude of the rebel…? It’s so confusing to her, yet the love Sonata shows her is one of the only good things she has left. Maybe questioning it is futile at this point. Sonata is confusing in general, so maybe the purple siren should just accept her for how she is… right?
“Of course! It’s like a party for your taste buds and your mind!” Sonata exclaims with a happy smile, pulling on Aria’s hand. “Can you at least try one? Just for me?” she asks in her same pleading tone, her begging eyes still staring into her soul. No matter how hard Aria tries to avoid her feelings, she knows how much Sonata means to her… Aria loves the dork of a siren, despite how hard it can be to understand her. Life is so hard to deal with, but she’s the only person who makes Aria feel like it’s worth it to keep living. Sonata’s always there to lift her up, to tell her it’s okay.
“Fine. But you owe me,” Aria states in a fake annoyed tone, trying to make it sound like a chore when really, the smile on Sonata’s face is a reward in itself.
Knock.
Life can be so hard… So tiring.
Knock.
It grinds on Aria’s mind for so long, making each moment feel like hell.
Knock.
Sonata is the only one who chases away the shadows and the pain. Even if it’s only temporary.
Knock.
Her hug makes Aria feel like… maybe it’s okay to let go of her exterior… Just for a moment.
Knock.
Knock..
Knock…
“Aria? Are you alright?” a concerned voice asks Aria, making her wonder why it sounds so muffled. Sonata is right in front of her. But she didn’t move her mouth… Who else could have said that? She could swear it’s her voice, even if it was muffled.
Knock knock knock.
The loud sound startles Aria, causing her to raise her head and look around. Within a moment, the sound of the running water comes back to her, mixed with the knocking on the door. Without fail, her eyes feel heavy, the same tired feeling coming back to her. She had been dreaming… For the first time in the whole night, Aria finally fell asleep, but it only felt like five minutes. This revelation only serves to make Aria’s eyes tear up, hitting her fist against the floor in frustration. “Damn it,” she whispers to herself, trying desperately to avoid the urge to cry. “Just a moment!” Slowly standing up, Aria sees herself in the mirror once more, the mess of a person she is staring back at her. The water finally stops as Aria shuts off the faucet, putting her hand on the doorknob with a sigh. The shadows are back again… She can’t stop them. All she can do is hope to ignore them…
Opening the door, Aria looks out into the hallway, light spilling out from the bathroom onto the bright blue girl outside. Her eyes look at Aria in a confused and worried state, her hand giving a small wave. “Hey, Aria? I saw you were out of bed and I got a little worried when you didn’t come back. Are you alright?” she asks just as innocently as ever, making Aria feel guilty for keeping Sonata up as well. “Are you having trouble falling asleep again?” At least when Sonata is here, the purple siren doesn’t have to feel so deathly alone. At a time when there is so little life during the night, it feels inescapable. The intimidating thoughts of solitude and death surround her mind. It’s so depressing and it feels like there’s no way out. The only light being her strangely strong optimism. It would be wrong to rely on this innocent siren in this moment of crisis, right? She should just go back to sleep…
“Yeah…” The word comes out of Aria’s mouth without her even thinking about it, making her regret this involuntary choice. She can’t just expect Sonata to drop everything and listen to her, right…? Her eyes feel so heavy, her exhaustion plaguing her mind at every corner. Why does life have to be so tiring…?
Without hesitation, the blue siren wraps her arms around Aria, causing her to blush at the action. “Then I’ll stay up with you~ It’s probably really lonely being awake right now,” Sonata kindly states, her embrace not letting go of her at all. As much as Aria hates the thought of relying on her, she was right… It is lonely. Incredibly lonely… The kind that ends up making the purple siren ask herself whether or not life is worth it in the end… She never asked to have so much trouble sleeping, but she has to deal with it. Surely it’s a punishment of some kind, right? Why else would life punish the siren in such a way? No matter what way she tries to think of it, Aria can’t find an answer. Her mind feels her final wall break down as tears flood her eyes again, causing her to finally accept the embrace Sonata so freely gave her.
“I’m so tired…” Aria’s voice, mumbling through her cries, is barely audible. Sonata rubs Aria’s head in response, gently scratching her scalp as she does so. Why does she have to be so kind? Why is she always here, despite how she’s been treated? It’s not like Aria’s done anything to warrant this sort of loyalty, yet she is still here… “I love you, Sonata,” Aria whispers in her cracked voice, her mind screaming at her not to say those words. This is probably the fifth time Aria has ever admitted that to the blue siren, even though Sonata has said those words countless times. It’s usually way too embarrassing for her to say stuff like that. It’s too stupid and mushy… No sane person would actually say those things, right…? “You’re really pretty and I… am t-thankful for you.” Regardless of her thought process, Aria’s mouth just keeps moving without her own consent, spilling out her inner thoughts.
“I love you too, Aria~” Sonata replies in a happy tone, hugging Aria even tighter than before. Without letting go of her, Sonata rocks her girlfriend in her arms, the smallest smile appearing on Aria’s face. “Would you maybe like to cuddle? I know you can’t sleep, but we can always stay awake together and cuddle~” Sonata’s suggestion is crude… Mushy. Way too soft… Cuddling surely wouldn’t make the purple siren feel better. It’s just… physical touch. Just because Sonata’s hug feels nice doesn’t mean cuddling would… Right?
Without even thinking about it, the purple siren throws her doubtful thoughts away, nodding to Sonata’s offer. Even if she can’t sleep, maybe… it would be nice to not be alone anymore…
