Pinkie Pie vs the Mad Trucker
It was a warm night in the town of Ponyville. Every pony was fast asleep in their own house. Not a single soul was out on the town. Inside the Sugar Cube Corner, Pinkie Pie lay asleep in her room with Gummy sleeping next to her.
“Mmmmm strawberry shortcake,” Pinkie Pie said in her sleep. “With whipped cream on top.”
In an instant, the sound of truck horns combined with a truck engine blazed through her room, causing Pinkie Pie to jump out of her bed and scream really loud. She landed right on the floor with a loud thud, waking Gummy up.
“Uggh,” Pinkie Pie groaned as she slowly got up. “I’ve already gotten over Neigh Nanners throwing the biggest party crash of a lifetime. I don’t have time for more of these.”
As soon as Pinkie Pie got up on her four hooves, another blazing horn went off, causing Pinkie Pie to jump into the air and shake her hooves in fear before landing on her belly again. Gummy jumped down and approached Pinkie PIe, who raised her head up.
“Gummy,” Pinkie Pie groaned. “Is it me, or is someone honking their horn in the middle of the night?”
Once again, the sound of the horn echoed through the room, causing Pinkie to turn her head towards the window. She jumped up and pointed directly out that window.
“Okay whoever you are,” Pinkie Pie shouted. “Honk me your worst.”
But instead of the sound of blazing horns, a loud voice echoed through the room, sending Pinkie PIe flying backwards. The words from that voice said “The Magic of Friendship is a lie. It was the lie that brought down Neigh Nanners. It was the lie that stopped his great future from freeing Equestria. And once again that lie will continue to dictate our lives. Do not be fooled by the lie. For the true freedom is the real truth. And by rejecting the magic of friendship, you will be free from its grip of tyranny.”
Pinkie Pie got up, glaring at the window as Gummy waddled up to her. She got up on her four legs and growled like a bear.
“Come on, Gummy,” Pinkie Pie said before Gummy leaped onto her back. “We got a party crasher to deal with.”
With a kick of dust into the air, Pinkie Pie ran off with Gummy hanging onto her before she jumped out the window and landed her four hooves on the grass, unaffected by the recoil of her fall. She raised her head and looked left and right.
“Now if I were the most obnoxious party crasher in the world,” Pinkie Pie said as she kept her eyes open. “Where in Equestria would I be?”
Immediately, Pinkie’s ears perked up to the sounds of the ponies booing loudly while a voice in the distance yells out “Neigh Nanners is our lord and savior. He was here to save us from the scourge that was friendship. But the demons that have pushed the false narrative over friendship were responsible for bringing down our lord and savior. We must repent against the evil that is Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.”
“Found him,” Pinkie Pie said before she took off with Gummy attached to her tail.
Pinkie Pie ran as fast as possible towards the direction of the chanting and ranting of the individual. But in an instant, she came to a stop, and gasped in shock.
“What in the world?” Pinkie Pie said, staring at what looked like a giant truck parked in the middle of ponyville with a crazed Earth Pony Stallion standing on top chanting through a microphone, all while ponies were booing loudly.
“Boo all you want, non-believers,” the earth pony said into the mic. “But what I speak is sacred. What I speak is the truth. What I speak of is the true freedom. And it will truly set you free. For friendship is the reason why we are not free. It is the scum of this planet. It is the fire and brimstone compared to the words of our savior Neigh Nanners. And we will avenge our martyr for all of you.”
“BOOO,” one of the Ponyville citizens yelled.
“GET LOST,” another one yelled. “WE DON’T WANT YOU HERE!”
“And this is why you don’t get it,” the earth pony said. “You don’t get that I am speaking the truth. That I am preaching the facts. That I am showing you all the errors of your ways. That is why I came here to Ponyville. Because all of you need to be saved from the evils of friendship, and why they are destroying this planet. Abandon friendship. Abandon harmony. Or you will all suffer a far worse fate.”
Pinkie Pie looked at Gummy, who was still clinging onto her tail with his mouth, before she said “Gummy. Wait here. I’m going to give this guy a piece of my mind.” Gummy proceeds to let go of Pinkie’s tail and waddles to the bush, as Pinkie directs her gaze up at the giant mach truck.
“I don’t know how some pony got a big truck into Ponyville,” Pinkie Pie said. “But I’m not going to let him drive us all mad.”
Immediately, Pinkie Pie climbed onto the truck, pulling herself up bit by bit until she reached the roof. She looked up to see the earth pony continuing to chant into the microphone like a mad stallion.
“Sounds like this nut case isn’t going to hear my voice,” Pinkie Pie said to herself. “Time to fight fire with fire.”
Immediately, Pinkie Pie pulls a megaphone out from her mane and adjusts the knob before pointing it at the stallion.
“WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA YOU LOUD MOUTH?” Pinkie Pie yelled into the megaphone, catching the stallions’ attention and causing him to stop speaking.
“Will you excuse me, non-believers?” The stallion said before turning his attention towards Pinkie Pie and adding “May I ask why you are so rude to me?”
“Rude to you?” Pinkie Pie said. “Excuse me. We are trying to get a good nights sleep, and you had the audacity to wake us up with your mumble jumble.”
“Now you listen here,” the stallion said. “My name is Trucker Coltson. I am a part of a group called Magic’s Demise. And our goal is to convince the non-believers how dangerous the magic of friendship is and how we must rescue our lord and savior Neigh Nanners.”
“You? Worship that nut case?” Pinkie Pie said in disgust. “After what he did to almost destroy all life in Equestria?”
“What you speak of is fake news,” Trucker Coltson replied.
“I speak the truth because I saw it happen before my eyes,” Pinkie Pie replied. “As did every pony else who was either under Neigh Nanners’ control, or was fearing him. So knock it off, party-crasher.”
With that, Trucker Coltson lets out a hearty laugh. He wiped a tear from his eye during his laugh, causing Pinkie Pie to look at him confused.
“What’s so funny?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“You don’t get it,” Trucker Coltson said as his laughter slowed down. “None of you do. You’re still drinking the punch that Princess Celestia makes. Guess I’ll have to teach you a harsh lesson.”
Trucker Coltson pressed a button on the roof of his truck, opening it up to reveal the driver’s seat of the vehicle. He jumped right in and sat right on his seat while Pinkie just looked down.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Pinkie Pie said, glaring down at Trucker Coltson.
Trucker Coltson just laughed before he said “Why, just horning out the pests.”
And with that, Trucker Coltson pulled down a chain that was hanging right to him. In an instant, a pair of truck horns go off, emitting a loud sound that shoots Pinkie Pie off from the roof, screaming in horror. Trucker Coltson watched as Pinkie Pie flew off the roof and into the Ponyville fountain.
“Hahahaha,” Trucker Coltson laughed. “I love this part of the job.”
Pinkie laid on her belly in the fountain. She lifted her head and stared right at the big truck. But just before she was about to get up on her four hooves, she sees Gummy climbing up on the edge of the fountain.
“Do you think I’m going to let that blow hard get away with it?” Pinkie said as Gummy stood atop on the edge, shaking his head in a negative tone. Pinkie then said “I thought so. Time we teach this loud mouth a lesson in manners.”
Immediately, Pinkie Pie got up on her four hooves and shook off the excess water from her mane. She jumped out of the fountain and stuck her tail out, allowing Gummy to bite onto it.
“Come on, Gummy,” Pinkie Pie said. “Let’s give this party crasher a piece of our mind.”
And with that, Pinkie Pie took off with Gummy attached to her tail.
A little later that night, Trucker Coltson was right atop of his own truck, once again shouting right into the microphone, all while the ponies of Ponyville booed and hissed right back at him.
“Whine all you want,” shouted Trucker Coltson. “But what I say is the truth. What I say is reality. What I say will set you free.”
Immediately, the citizens of Ponyville booed and hissed as they tossed garbage and rotten produce right at Trucker Coltson. The smug stallion stood his ground, dodging the incoming objects being flung right at his face.
“This is what I’m talking about,” Trucker Coltson said on the microphone as he dodged a flying shoe. “You all can’t handle the truth. But I will force you to listen, as it will set you all free. For I am the bearer of truth. I am the one who will help Make Equestria Great Again.”
Meanwhile, underneath the truck, Pinkie Pie crawled on her belly with Gummy riding on her back. She looked up at the Trunk’s underside, horrified and amazed at its design.
“Wow,” Pinkie Pie said. “I’ve heard legends about these kinds of wagons, but this takes the whole chocolate cake.”
Pinkie Pie then clapped her hooves, causing Gummy to dig through her mane and pull out a screwdriver before handing it over to the pink pony.
“Now,” Pinkie Pie said, holding the screwdriver in her right hoof. “Which one leads to the speakerbox?”
Pinkie Pie moved her eyes, looking through the underbelly of the giant mechanical beast. Suddenly, her sight catches a few cables with a sign that says “Truck Speaker” on it.
“Yeah, that’s some really great writing going on there,” Pinkie Pie said with a sarcastic tone. She twirled her screwdriver before she added “Time to get to work.”
Back on top of the truck, Trucker Coltson continued to talk right into the mic, with his own voice echoing through the air of Ponyville, much to the annoyance of the citizens.
“And when we finally get rid of the scourge that is friendship,” Trucker Coltson said. But just before he could speak, his voice changed to a deeper tone as he said “We will achieve peace and tranquility.” The moment he stopped speaking, his eyes popped out as he looked at his microphone.
“That’s strange,” Trucker Coltson said, staring at his microphone. “I could have sworn I heard myself sound deeper.”
Immediately, Trucker Coltson spoke back into the mic, his voice now normal once more.
“And let me be clear. Friendship is not magic,” Trucker Coltson announced. But his voice suddenly went high-pitched as he yelled out “It is a plague that has infested us for a long time.”
Immediately, the ponies of Ponyville burst out into laughter over Trucker’s voice. Trucker Carlson’s face popped out as he looked at his microphone.
“This is even more messed up than I realized,” Trucker Coltson said as he shook his mic. “Why did my voice change?”
Back underneath the truck, Pinkie Pie giggled as she placed the screwdriver back into her mane. She scooped up Gummy and placed him on her back.
“I haven’t had this much fun since Applejack and Rara allowed me to prank call Svengallop,” Pinkie Pie giggled before she turned tail and crawled away from the Truck Speaker sign.
The moment Pinkie Pie was out of sight, Trucker Coltson stuck his head underneath the truck, looking left and right.
“No intruders so far,” Trucker Coltson said. “But I have a hunch a certain saboteur is nearby.”
But as Trucker Coltson scanned below, Pinkie Pie was positioned on top of the truck, looking down at one of the speakers. She rubbed her front right hoof on top of the speaker and pulled it up, seeing a patch of dirt on the surface.
“What a mess,” Pinkie Pie said. “But I know how to get that clean.”
Immediately, Gummy ran up Pinkie Pie’s back and pulled out what appeared to be a bottle of liquid detergent from her mane. The baby gator held it out as Pinkie Pie accepted the bottle and unscrewed the cap.
“Thanks Gummy,” Pinkie Pie said. “This should do the trick.”
Pinkie Pie opened up the speaker in front of her and poured the liquid detergent into the electronic. She screwed the cap back on and stuffed the bottle back in her mane. Then she closed the speaker tight.
“Come on, Gummy,” Pinkie Pie said. “Let’s see if that cleans up that party crasher’s act.”
Immediately, Pinkie Pie ran to the back of the truck and jumped off. As she disappeared from the roof, Trucker Coltson climbed back up, looking a bit disgruntled.
“Nothing so far,” Trucker Coltson said as he got his four hooves onto the top of the truck. “Must have been a glitch in the system.”
Trucker Carlson stepped up to the mic and cleared his throat before he opened his mouth once more, looking ready to speak.
“I don’t know why Princess Celestia chose to abandon the gift she was given by Neigh Nanners,” Trucker Coltson said. “She was being saved from the greatest evil that plague every pony across this beautiful world. And I still believe that she could be saved from the monstrosity that is friendship.”
Suddenly, Trucker Coltson paused for a moment and noticed every pony in the vicinity was breaking out into laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Trucker Coltson said into the mic. “I was reciting the truth.”
“More like you’re becoming the new clown of Equestria,” one of the townsfolk laughed.
“Yeah,” another one laughed. “Sounds like your act is all washed up.”
As Trucker Coltson scratched his head in confusion, he noticed soap bubbles floating in the air and coming from the side of his truck.
“What in the world?” Trucker Coltson said, observing the soap bubbles.
Immediately, Trucker Coltson ran up to the side of his truck and gasped in horror. Soap bubbles were emitting from the base of the speaker, much to his surprise.
“What in the?” Trucker Coltson yelled. “How did that happen?”
Trucker Coltson pried opened the top of the speaker and spun it upside down. Liquid detergent spilled out from inside the box. Trucker Coltson just stood there, completely dumbfounded.
“But how did this get in here?” Trucker Coltson said in a startled tone.
Meanwhile, right next to the other speaker box, Pinkie Pie and Gummy snuck up from behind the other side of the truck, with Gummy holding an active beehive on his tail.
“What a yutz,” Pinkie Pie said as she secretly opened up the cover on the speaker next to her. “This is something that he won’t…bee-lieve.”
Immediately, Gummy jumped onto the side of the open speaker and dropped the beehive in before jumping back onto Pinkie Pie’s back. Pinkie quietly closed the speaker box before hiding back behind the truck.
As soon as the other speaker was finally empty of all the liquid detergent, Trucker Coltson spun it back upwards and shut the speaker box shut.
“That will do it,” Trucker Coltson said. “No need to make my speech that soapy.”
Trucker Coltson turned around and marched his way back to the microphone and got up on his hind legs once more. He cleared his throat and breathed in, directing his head towards the mic.
“No amount of setbacks will hold me back from preaching the truth, the facts and what you all need to hear,” Trucker Coltson yelled in the mic, causing every pony in the vicinity to cover their ears. “Neigh Nanners was robbed of saving Equestria from the tyrants of friendship. They even went as far as to recruit three dangerous villains into the cause and…”
But as Trucker Coltson continued to speak, he noticed the sound of bees coming from his other speaker. He spoke into the microphone again, and heard bees once more. This left him puzzled.
“What in the world?” Trucker Coltson said. “Something’s buzzing out of my speaker and I don’t think it’s some kind of glitch.”
Immediately, Trucker Coltson marched up to the other speaker and got up on his two hind legs. He proceeded to pry open the top of the box and look inside, only for his eyes to shrink down and his mouth to hang down in horror as the sound of angry buzzing echoed from inside.
“Oh no,” Trucker Coltson said. “Don’t tell me those are….”
In a flash, a swarm of angry bees emerged from the box, pointing their stingers at Coltson. The mad trucker screamed loudly before turning tail and running the other way, causing the bees to chase after him.
“NOT THE BEES!” Trucker Coltson yelled as he ran to the back of his truck. “ANYTHING BUT THE BEES!”
Immediately, Trucker Coltson turned tail and made a run for it with the angry bees in pursuit. He screamed loudly before he jumped off the truck, all while the crowd laughed really hard.
“WHAT KIND OF BLIND IDIOT WOULD PUT BEES INTO MY SPEAKER?” Trucker Coltson yelled before he landed his hooves on the grass.
The crowd laughed at Trucker Coltson as he ran away from his massive truck, all while the bees pursued him like hungry birds zooming towards their prey. Trucker’s eyes immediately caught the fountain right in front of him.
“YES!” Trucker yelled. “I’M HOME FREE!”
Without a second thought, Trucker Coltson jumped up in the air and dived right into the fountain, crashing into it with a loud thud. Trucker got up and looked around the fountain.
“Where…” Trucker said. “Where is all the water?”
But as he looked around, Trucker overheard the sound of angry buzzing. He looked up and saw the bees hovering above him.
“This is going to hurt,” Trucker said as he covered his face with his front hooves.
Immediately, the bees swooped down and stung the stubborn stallion right in the rear end, causing him to leap into the air, screaming loudly. The citizens burst into an even bigger laugh, seeing the fool fly into the air from being stung by bees.
Back at the fountain, the end of a black hone lay on the bed of the basin. Immediately, water came gushing out of the hose, filling the basin back up and causing the top of the fountain to spew water again. Nearby, Pinkie Pie was seen next to an electric pump that the hose was hooked up to, causally observing Trucker Coltson with Gummy operating the lever.
“Now who do you suppose placed this pump right next to the fountain?” Pinkie Pie said as a halo formed above her head.
The sound of Trucker Coltson falling down grew louder and louder before he landed right next to Pinkie Pie. The stubborn stallion looked up at Pinkie Pie, furious.
“You,” Trucker said as he got up on his four hooves and glared at Pinkie. “You pulled this stunt off, you slippery snake. Now you’ve gone and made me mad.”
Immediately, Pinkie Pie’s halo disappeared as she glared back with a smile on her face and said “Well if you haven’t been disturbing everyone’s beauty sleep with that ridiculous speech of yours, none of this would have happened.”
“And you resort to pulling off these low blow tactics,” Trucker Coltson said. “You are lower than I am.”
“And you’re right,” Pinkie Pie said. “I am lower than you are.”
“Don’t you try to deny it you..” Trucker Coltson said before he paused and said “SAY WHAT?”
“And just to prove it to you,” Pinkie said as she turned around and held her plot up in the air. “I’ll let you pay me back for those stunts I pulled on your truck.”
“This isn’t some kind of trick, is it?” Trucker said.
“Go on,” Pinkie said with a smile. “Let me have it.”
Trucker cracked a snively grin on his face as he turned around and swung his rear legs back.
“Gladly,” Trucker said.
POW!!!!
With a swift kick from Trucker Coltson, Pinkie Pie went flying into the air as she yelled out “WHEEEEEE!” She flew all the way up before falling downward towards the ground, only to land with a loud.
SPLASH!!
When Pinkie recovered, she was sticking out of a bucket of water. But before she could react, Trucker Coltson ran up and filled the bucket with a small sack of quick-drying cement. Pinkie just stood there as the water around her solidified into a hard cylinder.
“Now you have paid the price for your interference,” Trucker Coltson said as he poked at Pinkie Pie’s nose. “I hope you're happy.”
“Oh nos,” Pinkie Pie said with a hint of fake acting. “I have been vanquished by Trucker Coltson. Whatever shall I do?”
Trucker Coltson said with an evil laugh “Let that be a lesson to you, young mare.” With that, Trucker laughed some more before he turned tail and ran off towards his truck. Pinkie Pie got up, still stuck to the bucket filled with the cement cylinder, and watched Trucker run off.
“This guy’s as absent-minded as wrestling fans,” Pinkie Pie said with a smirk.
As Pinkie Pie watched Trucker run off, she noticed Gummy walking up to her holding a note in his jaw.
“Oh thanks Gummy,” Pinkie Pie sad as Gummy opened his mouth.
Pinkie Pie pulled the note out and unfolded it. She held the open note to the reader, which read “What a maroon.” She then turned the sign around, revealing another note that read “But don’t you folks worry. I’m not done with that sucker yet.”
With that, Pinkie Pie threw the sign down before holding her hooves down onto the ground. WIth a powerful tug, Pinkie PIe was able to pull the Cylinder Sphere that she was attached to out from the bucket before sitting herself on the ground. She then stood on her front hooves with the cylinder in the air before walking towards the truck.
“I know what you’re all thinking,” Pinkie Pie said to the reader. “But I’m going to consider this as a challenge for bringing down that loud mouth.”
Up ahead, Trucker Coltson climbed up onto the top of the truck, muttering words to himself that shouldn’t be written. He got on his hind legs and looked down the inside of the very speaker which bees came out of.
“Well thank Majestic the Prideful that there are no more bees,” Trucker said as he began to reach down into the speaker. “Now let’s figure out what the hay is going on.”
But as Trucker continued to search through the speaker, Pinkie Pie was observing the stubborn stallion from a nearby alleyway, still with her lower half stuck in a cement cylinder. Gummy sat right next to Pinkie PIe, blinking only once.
“So I messed with his pitch, caused soap bubbles to come out of his speaker, and got him chased by bees,” Pinkie Pie said to herself. “I wonder what I should do next?”
Suddenly, Pinkie Pie felt a tap on her shoulder, causing her to jump a bit. She turned around and saw Ocellus staring at her.
“Ocellus,” Pinkie Pie said. “What are you doing in the middle of the night?”
“That’s what I wanted to ask you, Professor Pinkie Pie,” Ocellus replied. “In fact, I’ve been wondering where that awful sound is coming from. Everyone in the School was going mad over it.”
Pinkie Pie pointed up to Trucker Coltson and said “There’s your answer. Someone who’s almost as nuts as Neigh Nanners.”
Ocellus got a good look at Trucker Coltson’s face, only for her eyes to pop open.
“I know him,” Ocellus said.
“Wait,” Pinkie Pie said in total shock. “You know that chump?”
“Sometime after Starlight Glimmer helped us overthrow Queen Chrysalis,” Ocellus explained. “This guy who we knew as Trucker Coltson had the nerve to pop up in the changeling kingdom, making some of these horrible chants with claims that the magic of friendship is a bad thing and it will lead to our demise. Day in and day out, we had to put up with his talk, and it was annoying all of us.”
“So how did you deal with this loud mouth?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“Simple,” Ocellus said. “We transformed into monsters and scared him out of the kingdom.”
Pinkie Pie pondered hard and long, reflecting on Ocellus’ words. Her mind popped up like a lightbulb before she turned to Ocellus.
“Say,” Pinkie Pie asked. “How would you like to pull what you all did at the Changeling Kingdom on him?”
Ocellus giggled before she said “I would love to do that.”
Immediately, Ocellus flew away from Pinkie PIe, but not before she flew right back, having taken notice of the cement cylinder that covered Pinkie’s lower half.
“Do you need help with that?” Ocellus asked.
“Nah,” Pinkie Pie replied. “I’m fine.”
Ocellus shrugged her shoulders before flying back towards Trucker Coltson’s truck, all while Pinkie Pie observed from the alley with Gummy by her side.
“It’s the suspense that gets me,” Pinkie Pie said to the reader before turning back towards the truck.
Back on the truck, Trucker Coltson pulls out a beehive full of honey from the speaker. He held it away from him, all while sticking out his tongue in disgust.
“Honey,” Trucker Coltson said. “I hate honey. This kind of disgusting slime is horrible as an edible.”
Trucker Coltson shook his hoof really hard, trying to get the beehive out of his hoof. But the honey that covered the hive and the hoof only caused the former to dart out before returning back to the latter. This made him mad.
“URRGH,” Trucker Coltson groaned. “I really hate honey. Isn’t there anything worse than honey on a hoof?”
But as soon as Trucker Coltson stopped talking, he heard the sound of a bear’s roar shooting right behind him. Trucker began to shake nervously, looking down at the beehive stuck to his hoof.
“I think I know what is behind me,” Trucker said.
Immediately, Trucker Coltson turned right behind him, only to see the massive girth of a Bugbear hovering over him. He looked up at the gigantic beast, legs shaking in fear.
“I think this is yours,” Trucker said as he held the beehive out towards the Bugbear. “Here. Take it.”
But without a second thought, the Bugbear swiped out with his paw, knocking the beehive out from his hoof and leaving only a honey mess. Trucker looked up at the Bugbear, who roared at him with excessive force. This caused Trucker’s fur to turn completely white and his eyes to shrink down to mere dots.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Trucker Coltson yelled before jumping up into the air and running off.
The crowd laughed as Trucker Coltson jumped off the truck and dove right into some bushes. The Bugbear transformed back into Ocellus, got up on her two legs and took a bow as the citizens of Ponyville clapped and cheered. Immediately, Trucker Coltson popped his head out to see Ocellus fly away from the big truck as the audience continued to cheer.
“A changeling?” Trucker Coltson said. “I was scared off by a changeling? This has to be the work of that pony prankster, hiring a changeling just to make me look like an animal that has long ears and brays loudly.”
Trucker Coltson jumped out of the bush and marched all the way back towards the truck. He climbed right up to the top, marched over to the open speaker and looked down in it.
“Yep,” Trucker Coltson said. “There’s still honey residue in this baby. If only there was a repair pony to help me out.”
“I will be of some help.” Trucker Coltson stuck his head out and looked down to see a pink pony with a moustache and beard in a wheelchair wearing a large trench coat. There was a set of power tools right on the side of the chair.
“And who might you be?” Trucker asked.
“Repair Stallion Dan Sparkplug’s the name, repairing electronics the game,” the wheelchaired stallion said. “And I heard you could use a little help with your speakers.”
“Why yes I could,” Trucker said. “But how exactly are you going to get up here in that contraption?”
Dan Sparkplug just chuckled before he said “Oh don’t you worry, me boy. There’s more to my wheelchair than meets the eye.”
With a few button pushes on the armchair by Dan Sparkplug, the bottom of the wheelchair emits a rocket flame, allowing the chair with Dan in it to rocket upwards towards the top of the truck. Dan used the joystick on the left armrest to steer the wheelchair onto the truck before the flame disperses.
“That’s amazing,” Trucker Coltson said.
“And you ain’t seen nuttin yet,” Dan Sparkplug said before he reached down and pulled out a tool box. “I heard your speaker could use a tune up.”
Trucker looked down the box of his speaker and said “Tune up’s an understatement. There’s honey in this blasted thing.”
“Now that’s what I call a sticky situation,” Dan Sparkplug said. “But don’t you worry, I know just what to do.”
“Oh that’s a relief,” Trucker Coltson said before he got down on the roof of his truck and took a few steps back. “Be my guest.”
Dan Sparkplug immediately pressed a few buttons on his right armrest, once again causing the wheelchair to emit a small flame to lift it up towards the top of the speaker. He pulled out a few tools from the tool kit before turning towards Trucker Coltson.
“Tell you what,” Dan Sparkplug said. “In addition to fixing up your problematic speaker, I can also fine tune your other speaker. Both are on the house.”
“Oh that is wonderful,” Trucker Coltson said. “Go right at it.”
“Oh you won’t be disappointed,” Dan Sparkplug chuckled before pulling out a few tools. “In fact, I’ll guarantee you a dynamite performance.”
“Yes,” Trucker Coltson said in an ecstatic tone. “Do it.”
Immediately, Dan Sparkplug spun the speaker to its side before repositioning the hovering wheelchair to the opening. He takes the tool in his hoof and goes right inside.
“That’s right, baby,” Dan Sparkplug said. “Come to papa.”
Later in the wee hours of the morning, both speakers not only look good as news, but also as if they were given a massive upgrade. Their size was now double and they had a new chrome finish. Trucker Coltson just stood there, completely excited, all while Dan Sparkplug sat in his wheelchair, wiping the sweat from his brow.
“I don’t know how many times I can say thank you Mr Sparkplug,” Trucker Coltson said, shaking Dan Sparkplug’s hoof.
“There’s only one thing I can think of,” Dan Sparkplug said. “Give it a try. You won’t regret it.”
“Oh you bet,” Trucker said before letting go of Dan Sparkplug’s hoof. “And I can’t wait.”
Immediately, Trucker Coltson ran up to his massive truck and climbed right up, all while Dan Sparkplug turned his wheelchair, pressed a few buttons and zoomed off.
Dan Sparkplug immediately dashed towards a nearby alley where Gummy stood there before he turned to face Trucker Coltson. He threw off the hat, moustache, beard and trenchcoat, revealing himself to be Pinkie Pie of all ponies, still stuck in that cement cylinder.
“Eat your heart out, Mel Blanc,” Pinkie Pie said with a wink.
Back on the truck, Trucker Coltson got up on his hind legs and readjusted his mic. He cleared his throat and inhaled deeply.
“Praise the one who fixed my speakers,” Trucker Coltson said into the mic. “Praise Neigh Nanners for giving us a bright future. And praise the one true leader of Equestria: Majestic the Prideful.”
But immediately, Trucker paused for a moment as his ears twitched. He looked to his left and right before he shrugged his shoulders. He inhaled deeply once more.
“Truth of the matter is that Majestic the Prideful is the one true leader,” Trucker said into the mic. “Not Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. He is the one who you all should look up to, and abandon this false notice of Friendship.”
Suddenly, Trucker paused again. This time, he looked to his left to see his speaker shaking violently.
“What the?” Trucker said, unaware that he’s speaking into the mic. “I thought Dan Sparkplug fixed that darn thing.”
Trucker looked to his right to see his other speaker shake violently as well. He turned back to the other speaker, which is now shaking even more violently. Trucker turned to face the front of the truck with his ears flopping down and his irises shrunk down.
“Oh no,” Trucker said. “I have a bad feeling about this.”
And with that, the two speakers explode. The force of the explosion was enough to send Trucker Coltson flying into the air, screaming loudly. He fell down towards the early, screaming once more before he crashed right into the ground, leaving an imprint of himself at the surface. The crowd of citizens erupted into laughter as Trucker Coltson pulled himself up.
“What just happened?” Trucker Cotlson said as he pulled himself out from the hole.
Trucker looked up to see both speakers totally junked. He screamed really loud at the sight of the damage.
“MY SPEAKERS!” Trucker Coltson screamed. “BROUGHT TO RUBBLE! CURSE THAT DAN SPARKPLUG FOR PULLING THIS STUNT!”
Trucker turned around to see a moustache, beard and hat on the ground. He pulled it up and had a thought in his head, imagining the repair pony known as Dan Sparkplug, only for him to transform into Pinkie Pie. Once that thought got into his head, Trucker’s eyes shrunk down.
“It…,” Trucker said. “It was her.”
Immediately, Trucker’s head transformed into the head of a donkey as he immediately brayed loudly. The citizens of Ponyville laughed really loud before Trucker’s head turned back to normal.
“Where is she?” Trucker snarled. “Where is that prankster of a pony?”
Trucker turned his head to his left, where he saw Pinkie Pie walking off in another direction on her two front hooves, all with that cement cylinder stuck to her lower torso and legs. Attached to her mane was Gummy, who held onto it with his mouth.
“Oh the Merry-Go-Round broke down,” Pinkie Pie sang. “And we went round and round. If it’s so tragic that Friendship is Magic, then the Merry-Go-Round went Um-Pah-Pah! Um-Pah-Pah! Um-Pah! Um-Pah! Um-Pah-Pah-Pah!”
As Pinkie Pie sang that cheerful song, Trucker Coltson looked at her with bloodshot eyes. He growled like a monster with his mouth foaming in between his teeth. He pounded his hoof into the ground, causing a massive earthquake before pulling himself up from the hole and roared loudly into the sky.
“I’LL GET THAT PRANKER OF A PONY IF IT’S THE LAST THING I EVER DO,” Trucker Coltson yelled.
In a massive huff, Trucker Coltson marched over to the door leading to the inside of his truck. He got up on his hind legs and violently pried the door open before jumping inside and slamming it closed. His presence alone caused every citizen in Ponyville to stand there in horror.
“No pony is going to make a donkey out of Trucker Coltson and get away with it,” Trucker said as he slammed his right upper hoof on the ignition button.
The truck came to life, roaring loudly and causing the citizens to hide in their houses. Pinkie Pie stood in her place as she saw the giant beast of a machine turn right at her.
“TRUCKER’S GONNA GET YA!” Trucker Coltson yelled before he honked his horn loudly before he slammed on the accelerator pedal with his lower right hoof.
“YIPE!” Pinkie Pie yelled as she jumped into the air before zooming off with Gummy attached to her mane.
The massive truck bent backwards, revving to go before it took off after Pinkie Pie, who was running as fast as possible on her two front hooves. The truck let out loud and frightening honk from the horn as it chased after Pinkie.
“Come here you little rat,” Trucker said. “I’m going to turn ya into roadkill.”
Pinkie Pie ran as fast as possible out of Ponyville on her front hooves, all while that truck barreled down the streets in hot pursuit. Trucker looked out the left window, glaring at Pinkie as he honked the horn loudly.
“COME BACK HERE!” Trucker yelled. “YOU’RE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT HUMILIATION THAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH.”
As the truck pursued Pinkie Pie from the outskirts of Ponyville, many of the citizens came out, watching in complete horror. Especially one Ocellus, who looked completely horrified.
“Professor Pinkie,” Ocellus said. “Please don’t die.”
Up ahead, Pinkie Pie continued to run as fast as possible on her front hooves with Gummy still attached to her mane. She was screaming as loudly as possible with that huge truck chasing her.
“MAD TRUCKER! MAD TRUCKER! MAAAAAAAD TRUCKER!” Pinkie yelled as she ran like a maniac.
Pinkie Pie looked behind her to see that truck inching closer. She looked up to see a totally crazy Trucker Coltson honk that horn loudly and laugh like a maniac.
“THERE’S NO ONE TO SAVE YOU NOW,” Trucker Coltson yelled. “YOU’RE MINE!”
But as Pinkie Pie ran as fast as she could with that truck inching closer, she tripped over a rock and went flying and spinning right into the air, away from the truck. Trucker looked up with an amused look on her face.
“Oh this is going to be as easy as stealing candy from a baby,” Trucker grinned.
Pinkie Pie flew upwards into the air before falling down towards the earth. She screamed loudly as she spun out of control, until she hit the ground face first, and slid right up to the bottom of a cliffside. Once she came to a stop, she dropped her lower, cement-cylinder half down and spat out dirt from her mouth.
“Boy,” Pinkie Pie said as she tried to get up. “This is a real dirty situation that I’m in.”
But as Pinkie got up on the cement cylinder that her lower half was held in, she looked at the truck barging right forward, with Trucker Coltson laughing like a maniac. Pinkie’s eyes shrunk down as tears began to form and her ears flopped downwards.
“NOOOOO!” Pinkie cried. “THIS CANNOT BE THE END!”
Pinkie cried loudly as the truck sped up faster and faster, with Trucker’s laughter becoming more and more maniacal.
“There’s no escape from your judgment, little pony,” Trucker said with a vicious, psychotic laugh. “It’s time to pay for your sins.”
Trucker immediately floored the accelerator pedal and set the gear shift to dangerous levels. With an instant, the truck sped up even further than before, charging right at a helpless Pinkie PIe, who continued to cry her eyes out.
Up in the air, Ocellus was flying away from Ponyville where she took notice of the truck barreling down towards Pinkie Pie.
“OH NO!” Ocellus yelled. “PINKIE’S IN DANGER. I’VE GOT TO HELP HER!”
Immediately, Ocellus transformed into a falcon and dove right at Pinkie PIe as fast as she could, all while the pink pony stuck in the cement cylinder cried loudly at the presence of an incoming truck barrelling right at her.
“There’s no one who’s going to save you,” Trucker Coltson said. “No one at all.”
But as the truck sped closer and closer to Pinkie, Gummy tapped her right on the shoulder, catching her attention. The baby gator pointed its tail at the falcon that Ocellus was once.
“Oh,” Pinkie said. “I forgot that Ocellus could do that. Thanks Gummy.”
Immediately, Pinkie stared down the truck and let out a big raspberry, causing Trucker’s face to turn red and for him to grit his teeth like a maniac.
“Oh you want some?” Trucker Coltson said. “Well here it comes.”
As the truck was only seconds away from hitting Pinkie, the pink pony stuck to the cement cylinder flung Gummy to the side, sending it flying towards Falcon Ocellus, who was quick to strafe downward and let the baby gator land on her back before swooping back to her position.
“DON’T WORRY,” Pinkie yelled. “I GOT THIS!”
Just before the truck was about to hit Pinkie Pie, the pink pony jumped into the air and landed on her mane before springing back up into the air, yelling out “WHEEEE!”
Trucker just looked helplessly as he saw Pinkie Pie spring upwards.
“What the?” Trucker said, dumbfounded. “How did she do that?”
But as he shifted his view towards the front, his eyes began to shrink down as he saw the cliff wall right in front of him. He took his bottom hoof off the accelerator and slammed it down on the brake pedal, only for it to break off completely.
“Oh no,” Trucker said as he stared helplessly at the cliff wall. “Majestic. Neigh Nanners. Protect me.”
The truck slammed right into the cliff wall, crushing it like an accordion. It popped right out and landed on what’s left of its wheels. The front glass appeared to have been smashed completely with the cab part of the truck now vacant.
In front of the truck, Trucker Coltson had already been smashed into the surface of the cliff wall. He fell off and landed right on the hard ground.
“Uggh,” Trucker Coltson said as he got up. “That really hurts.”
The moment that Trucker Carlson looked behind him, his face turned to total horror as he stared down the mangled remains of his truck. The rear view mirror on the left part fell off, smashing right on the surface of the ground.
“MY TRUCK!” Trucker cried. “ALL SMASHED TO PIECES!”
“And if you haven’t been bothering every pony in Ponyville with your ridiculous jibber jabber,” Pinkie Pie said as she landed on the ground with her front hooves before setting herself down on her lower half, still covered in that cement cylinder. “You wouldn’t have been in this mess, you big party crasher.”
“Yeah,” Ocellus said as she transformed back from a falcon while Gummy held onto her back. “It was bad enough that you had to torture us with whatever you just said at the Changeling Kingdom. The fact that you had to torture everyone in Ponyville and disturb their beauty sleep says a whole lot.”
“I DON’T CARE,” Trucker yelled as he marched over to Pinkie Pie. “I WANT YOU TO REPAIR MY TRUCK, AND I WANT YOU TO DO IT NOW.”
But as Trucker marched over to Pinkie Pie, his hooves kicked dust and dirt up into the air, drifting right at Pinkie Pie’s face. Her nose felt the sensation of the dust and she began to huff and puff.
“Ahhh,” Pinkie Pie inhaled. “Ahhhhhh.”
Ocellus looked at Pinkie Pie inhaling the dust unintentionally and began to freak out.
“Oh no,” Ocellus said in a nervous tone. “I’ve heard about the potential power of a sneeze and I’m not going to be on the receiving end.”
Immediately, Ocellus jumped into the air and flew upwards with Gummy hanging onto her tail, all as Pinkie Pie’s huffing and puffing was getting louder and louder.
“Oh for crying out loud,” Trucker Coltson yelled. “You’re not falling for that stupid sneeze gag. What’s she going to do? Let out a sneeze that sends me to Koo-Ka-Mane-Ga?”
As Ocellus reached the upper stratosphere above Ponyville, she overheard the sound of Pinkie Pie letting out a giant sneeze. And in an instant, the ground below her exploded. Ocellus dashed out of the way as Trucker Coltson flew upwards from the ground and went flying off.
“I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS YOU MISCHIEVOUS DELINQUEEEEEEEEEEENT!” Trucker Coltson yelled before he fell downwards towards Manehattan. Ocellus just stood there completely confused all while Gummy just watched on, blinking once.
“Wow,” Ocellus said as she observed Trucker disappearing into the Manehattan City Limits. “I had a feeling that the sneeze was going to be powerful. But not that powerful.”
Immediately, Ocellus flew down from the stratosphere and right onto the ground where Pinkie Pie, still stuck to the cement cylinder, blew her nose on a handkerchief. Gummy lets go of Ocellus’ tail
“Pinkie,” Ocellus said. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” Pinkie Pie said as she stuffed the handkerchief back into her mane. “I have never sneezed like that before. In fact, take a look at Trucker’s truck.”
Ocellus turned to her right and her jaw dropped down. Somehow, the truck had returned to its normal shape as if it never smashed into the cliffside. The windshield was somehow repaired to normal and even the speakers were back to its former self.
“What in the?” Ocellus said. “How did you do that?”
“I’m not so sure,” Pinkie Pie said. “I’m not even in my draconequus form and this happened for no reason.”
“Do you suppose that those alternate forms that you and the others used are still deep within?” Ocellus asked. “Like the alicorn forms of Cozy Glow, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Diamond Tiara, Babs Seed, Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer and Trixie to name a few? Or that muscle-bound form of Applejack?”
“That’s a good question,” Pinkie Pie said as she pondered to herself. “I better head to Canterlot and report to Twilight about this.”
But as Pinkie Pie turned and was about to hop her way back to Ponyville, she overheard the sound of ponies cheering in unison. She looked over the horizon to see the citizens of Ponyville cheering at Pinkie Pie and Ocellus.
“Wow,” Pinkie Pie said. “Guess driving off that loudmouth paid off.”
“That’s the wonders of Karma,” Ocellus said. “If you do good things, you will have good luck. If you do bad things, you will have bad luck. That explains why Trucker Coltson got humiliated twice.”
“And he lost his truck as a result,” Pinkie Pie said as she looked at the fully repaired truck. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”
Ocellus giggled as she said “You’re going to take that thing up to Canterlot?”
Pinkie smirked before she said “Oh I am. But first, I think a party on the truck is in order.”
The ponies of Ponyville gathered around Pinkie Pie and the newly repaired truck as they all chanted her name. Still with that cement cylinder stuck to her lower half, Pinkie Pie climbed up onto the top of the mack truck, waving downward at every pony.
“Yeah, I know this is a rather down-to-earth ending folks,” Pinkie Pie said to the audience. “But what do you expect from a one-off short that’s set after we humiliated Neigh Nanners? Besides, this is only the beginning.”
And with that, Pinkie Pie giggled as the ponies of Ponyville cheered in unison. Nearby, Gummy just stood there in silence.
The End
Author's Note
There is alot to explain about the character of Trucker Coltson. First off, you can tell what his name is based off of. Second off, the whole idea of Trucker riding a truck was intended on being a mockery of the trucker protests up in Canada(As well as a failed one here in America.). And finally, the speeches that he made were ironically based off this protester I had to put up with while at San Diego Comic-Con, who used a bullhorn to recite these sermons claiming that we're all going to hell unless we choose Jesus as our savior.
Unlike with the last fanfic that I did, I chose to have the entire story done in one part, just to treat it like a classic Looney Tunes fanfic.
Anyway, in addition to more of the Midnightverse, I plan on returning to the One as a Family universe in the future, with an all new saga "Trials of Friendship."
