The Worst Night Ever

by RunicTreetops

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Romance, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Human, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person
Length: 2808

Princess Celestia has invited you to the Grand Galloping Gala. Though you just want to make her happy, things never quite go as planned, especially for Equestria's resident human.

Princess Celestia has invited you to the Grand Galloping Gala. Formal events were never your strong suit, but you are willing to leave your comfort zone for Tia's sake. Of course, even with your friends' warnings about what happened to them at the last Gala, you probably shouldn't expect everything to go as planned. With any luck, you won't draw too much attention to yourself, even if you are the only human in attendance.

Published 2022-08-17 08:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-08-17 08:40:00 UTC

The Worst Night Ever

Author's Note

Hello! This story takes place sometime during Season 3 of Friendship is Magic. This story is a sequel to my previous stories, "Royal-Tea for Two" and "A Shallow Pool." Although it isn't completely necessary to read those first, I would still recommend it as this story references them a bit. I wanted to do a shorter and more fun story this time around, and I appreciate any feedback!

The Worst Night Ever

The Worst Night Ever

Formal events were never your strong suit. You were always flattered to go to them, of course, as they signified some sort of important event. You had attended some for outstanding academic achievement back in high school, and your parents dragged you to a few held in honor of their colleagues, but you never really enjoyed them. Fancy clothes, fancy food, etiquette all around you... it was stifling, to say the least.

And now you have the "privilege" of attending the Grand Galloping Gala, the fanciest and bougiest ball in all of Equestria, the event celebrating the completion of the city of Canterlot, the party hosted by Princess Celestia herself, the ball capable of destroying friendships in a land where friendship is magic.

Frankly, you'd rather stay home. But it's not like you can just refuse an invitation from Celestia. It doesn't really matter that she's a princess, she'll just tease you about it relentlessly if you don't show up. Not to mention your other friends who are also going, though this will be their second shot at it. Apparently the first time "didn't go so well," but it sounded like more fun than what you were told to expect at this year's gala.

You would be arriving with your good friends, the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Rarity painstakingly crafted each of your outfits, yours included. You offered to pay her, but she was actually rather pushy about doing it for free. Element of Generosity and all that, you suppose. Still, you have to admit: She did a darn fine job. You all look fantastic.

You also feel extremely stiff and uncomfortable. Fancy clothes were never really your thing, and this in particular felt a bit tight, but you also didn't really have the heart (or the nerve) to ask Rarity to change it after she did it for free. You're pretty sure she has a saying for this kind of scenario, but you don't really get most of her sayings. Regardless, the lot of you made it to Canterlot without issue. It had been quite a while since you took the train, as Tia's spiffy new teleportation circle made transportation extremely convenient, but she also made it clear that only royalty, Twilight, high-ranking members of the Royal Guard, and yourself were allowed to use it. At least you got to see the incredible sights again.

Your arrival at the Gala was much more eventful than you were hoping for. There were far more ponies than you had expected crowding into the royal palace. In fact, you had little agency of where you were going due to just how tight the walkway was with that many ponies. Your comparably tall physique only made it more awkward. So much so, in fact, that you ended up falling over. You would have landed on your face if it wasn't for the mare that happened to be between you and the ground during your descent, a mare you would later learn is named Fleur de Lis. She had a gorgeous dress on fit for a supermodel (which she apparently is, as it turns out). Emphasis on the word "had," as your stumble ripped that thing clean in two. Both she and her date, a stallion by the name of Fancy Pants, were... less than happy with you. You're going to be paying off that dress for a while.

After eventually making your way into the Gala, you found yourself at a loss as to what to do. Your friends each took the opportunity to mingle with some other ponies they were familiar with (Dash was noticeably enamoured by the Wonderbolts in attendance), leaving you to your own devices. You decided you wanted to greet Tia, as it was due to her that you were in attendance at all. Of course, attempting to do proved difficult. Twilight's story about the princess being tied up greeting the many guests in attendance was clearly not exaggerated, and the line to see her stretched outside the room and throughout the palace. Though, it wasn't like you had anything better to do. If anything, this gave you an excuse to look awkward and lost, as it's socially acceptable so long as you are waiting in a line.

You really need to get better at socializing.

You eventually found the back of the line. In front of you was a short mare with a gray coat and blonde mane. You're pretty sure she lives in Ponyville, actually. So sure that you decided to strike up a conversation with her. This was an absolutely awful horrible terrible no-good poorly thought out idea that you came to regret for approximately the next three hours as she stared at you creepily (though admittedly also somewhat adorably) and proved to both be bad at holding a conversation and incredible at not ending one, frequently repeating herself with phrases like "I like Princess Celestia" or something about muffins and a doctor. Endearing at first, insufferable after several hours.

When it finally became your turn to see the princess, you found yourself with what could have easily been an avoidable problem. Distracted by the awkward mare, you failed to think of what you were actually going to say. With many high-society ponies behind you and the formal method with which this greeting was occurring, you figured that there was most likely some sort of etiquette with what you were supposed to say and how you were supposed to act. Even if there wasn't, you couldn't just greet her as you normally would during your normal get-togethers. The... close nature of your relationship was not meant to be public knowledge, and you are expected to treat her with the utmost dignity and deference while in public. In the moment, however, none of this crossed your mind as you found yourself put on the spot. She gave you a warm smile as you approached. Her dress was beautiful, befitting the ruler of a country. She was clearly the most important creature in the room, but in that instant you only saw the familiar face of your favorite mare in Equestria.

"Man, I didn't expect this high-brow party of yours to be popping like this, Tia!"

Your eyes shot open as you immediately recognized the weight of that statement. So much for deference, then. You did your best to course correct and at least bow before her, but the gasps and hushed whispering from behind you made it clear that you screwed up. Not only was that greeting absolutely terrible and borderline offensive to the other partygoers, but you used your pet name for her. In public. Which she had made quite clear many tea sessions ago that you were never to do. With nowhere else to go, you dared to look up at her. She seemed just as shocked as everyone else, her now wide eyes glancing between you and the crowd behind you. After what seemed like an eternity of awkward silence, she stifled a noise (that certainly sounded like a giggle, but you dared not assume yourself to be so lucky) and asked that you please exit the line.

"And please enjoy the Gala. I am sure it is, as you say, 'popping.'"

Cue the walk of shame past the other attendees, all of which were either staring at you, muttering amongst themselves, or most likely, both. You couldn't reach the ballroom soon enough. You were still unsure of what to do with yourself, but at least the night was significantly closer to being over. You found Applejack and Fluttershy sitting together at a table, and you decided to join them. At least you didn't have to be formal around THESE friends.

The three of you made light conversation for quite a while, occasionally stopping to greet a pony here or there that recognized any of you as one of Equestria's saviors. Eventually though, Fluttershy asked for you to grab some drinks for the three of you. Figuring that you still had nothing better to do and not being one to deny Fluttershy or her big pleading eyes, you set out to the punch table.

What happened when you arrived there was quite possibly the most predictable outcome. Why would you have assumed that you would just grab the punch and return to your table? Frankly, it's entirely on you for not foreseeing Pinkie Pie hiding under the table to surprise you when you arrived in an attempt to "make her stressed-out-looking best human friend feel more comfortable" and subsequently causing you to spill the punch all over yourself. She was, of course, extremely sorry, and you weren't going to hold it against her. That's just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie. Unfortunately, that doesn't make your already uncomfortable outfit any less wet, nor the stain any less noticeable. You dried it the best you could with some napkins, but the damage was done. The ponies nearby found the bumbling human pretty entertaining, though. You didn't really appreciate them laughing at you, but hey, at least someone was having a good time tonight.

You spent the next while sitting at your table in defeat. As per usual, Equestrian chairs weren't made for human physiques, so you couldn't just sit close to the table to cover up your new stain. For a while you just sat with your fingers crossed that Rarity wouldn't kill you for ruining the outfit, but she was actually just concerned about you and felt bad about your embarrassment. You kind of forgot that your friends are well known for their... friendship. Go figure.

Thankfully, the night finally seemed to be coming to a close. Ponies slowly began leaving the Gala, and the rest of your friends returned to the table to discuss how their nights went. You were all invited to spend the night in the palace, and Twilight informed you that Celestia would likely be meeting you where you sat after the Gala formally closed. As the ballroom thinned out, some of your friends took to using the space to dance and "let loose" as it were. With the evening you had been having, you decided against that, leaving yourself, Rarity, and Spike to "enjoy the atmosphere" as Rarity put it. Spike seemed to be enjoying her atmosphere more than that of the Gala's, but that was typical behavior from him.

Eventually the only creatures left in the ballroom were yourself, your friends, and the cleanup crew. Compared to the oppressive and busy atmosphere of before, you found yourself finally getting comfortable. The comfort was short lived, however, as Celestia entered the room and began conversing with you and your friends.

Well, actually JUST your friends. She never even made eye contact with you the whole time. That... is concerning. She isn't the kind to give you the cold shoulder, even during the rare occasions when you upset her. You must have really messed things up with that greeting earlier. No doubt she was questioned about the "Tia" thing by every pony that heard your stupid outburst. You didn't really blame her for being upset. For as badly as you wanted to talk to her or at least just apologize, she seemed to be happily regaling your friends with the more interesting bits of the evening and you didn't have the gall to interrupt. You couldn't help but notice that your little stunt was not one of the topics she brought up, and you weren't sure if that made you more or less anxious.

After some time and many laughs (from everyone but you), your group decided that it was time to turn in for the night. You all walked slowly towards the palace bedchambers, exhausted from the hectic evening. You decided to walk behind the group, as you would rather avoid any more talk about the evening. You were finally going to go to bed, and come tomorrow, the Gala would be nothing more than a memory. With any luck Celestia will either forget about the incident or accept your apology the next time you have tea, everything will be okay with the two of you again and oh no she's falling back to walk alongside you oh no oh no oh no-

"Quite the Gala, wasn't it?"

Hm. Well, at least she's speaking to you now. The least you can do is respond.

"Yeah, it was... it was nice."

"Somehow I find that hard to believe, though I'm not sure if that's due to you avoiding eye contact with me or the stain turning your outfit into a two-tone. Tell me, was the Gala 'popping?'"

She clearly has no idea what that word means and is using it because she thinks it's some new slang. You have to remind yourself sometimes that she is much older than she appears. Still, now is not the time for that and she's expecting a response.

"Well... as a whole, I'm sure it was."

"Come now, there is no need to beat around the bush. I already know about our little encounter, but how did the rest of your night go?"

You sighed. Your room was still a ways off, and you had no way to avoid this conversation. You're getting exactly what you asked for, you suppose. You eventually conceded and recounted your troublesome evening.

"Haha, you know, I can't help but feel like I've heard this somewhere before. I assume your friends have told you about what happened last Gala?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. Apparently they caused a big mess. They gave me all sorts of warnings on the way here. What good that did me."

She gave you a warm smile. You know her well enough by now to determine that unlike her signature crowd-pleaser smile, this one is genuine.

"If it makes you feel any better, our meeting earlier made my night!"

Okay, while you held out hope that she might forgive you, that was unexpected. Plus, it sounds awfully familiar to the story Twilight told you about the last Gala. You questioned her about what she meant.

"Well, for starters, I was getting dreadfully bored. As much as I love being the princess, events like these tend to get a bit stale after hundreds of years. My relationship with you is a first for me, so I was quite excited to see that you were willing to stay in that horrible line just to see me. Of course, even I was surprised with your... less than stellar greeting. I am sorry I wasn't more help, by the way. Regardless, thanks to the whole "Tia" thing, you got the other attendees in a tizzy. So much so that they were willing to forgo the usual Gala etiquette and question their ruler about it! Thanks to my position I never really have time for gossip, even that which involves me, so to be the center of attention for a reason other than being the ruler of Equestria, well, I couldn't help but be excited!"

"So, I didn't cause you any problems?"

"The Fancy Pants thing will likely lead to some nagging later on, but as far as your greeting? Absolutely not! You are full of surprises, and I appreciate it more every day. I look forward to the next Gala, and I am also looking forward to our next tea."

There it is again. First with Shadowmere, then with your magic and subsequent teleportation. You keep doing what feels right, and things just kind of work out. You're really starting to like your life in Equestria, even if you're cold and tired at the moment. At least you just arrived at the palace bedchambers. The royal chambers are farther down, so the princess continues to walk as you exchange goodnights with each of your friends. Said friends all retire to their rooms, but as you are about to walk into yours, you notice Celestia staring at you from down the hall. She is giving you a look you have never seen before. You suddenly feel stiff, and you notice a magical aura surrounding your body. You feel a gentle tug as you are pulled gently in her direction. The spell dissipates as she walks into her room, never breaking eye contact with you in what is obviously an invitation.

Perhaps tonight isn't so bad after all.