The creak of the bedroom door penetrates the purple siren’s mind, making her realize just how late it is. The dark night has completely enveloped the world. The outside world might as well be dead. No sounds can be heard other than the heater inside their small apartment. Even their bedroom is masked in darkness, only the light of the stars barely peeking inside the blinds. Her girlfriend is seemingly sound asleep in their bed once more… It’s a peaceful sight to her, but she can’t help but feel jealous of her at times. Sonata has never had a problem sleeping before… It’s a reality that Aria wishes she knew. Once upon a time, she was able to drift off to sleep easily, but that ability has been lost to the purple siren. Now, almost every night is spent pondering life and feeling alone. No matter how many times she tries, Aria can’t bring herself to ask Sonata for some companionship… What good would it do to wake Sonata up from her peaceful slumber just to accompany her through this dark night? To deal with her problems when she could just enjoy her sleep.
It’s a gift Aria has wished for every night… In no way is the purple siren religious, but even she found herself praying for someone to help her sleep at times. Even if it’s just an hour, it would be a treasured gift by the siren… Most nights, these prayers go unanswered, leaving her even more alone in this silent world. Is it wrong of her to cry out of frustration…? That’s the pervasive thought in the back of her head… This is something that she has to deal with. No one else should have to hear her troubles. That’s the main reason, right…? It’s the main reason Aria tries so hard to hide the fact that she cries about these things… It’s the reason she hides every problem she’s dealing with. Even though the girl she loves tells her to wake her up and to ask for the help she needs, Aria can’t seem to bring herself to do it. It would be easier to just let Sonata sleep. To keep it inside. Right?
Slowly putting her bag on the floor, Aria closes their door, dreading the sleepless night ahead of her. Her eyes already feel heavy and her body is drained from head to toe, but life loves to torture her… Every moment weighs on her mind, yet she can’t shut it off. ‘I just want to feel different.’ The siren can’t help but think to herself, taking off her shoes and looking towards the bed. What is supposed to be a peaceful resting place is, in reality, the place Aria thinks her darkest thoughts. When there is no sound in the night, nothing stops those same pervasive thoughts from overwhelming her mind. The shadows run free on the walls and nothing can stop it… Will it be another one of those nights…? Another night where the question of life presents itself and she won’t be able to escape it.
Walking towards the bed as quietly as she can, Aria simply gazes upon Sonata’s sleeping face. A small smile comes to her, thankful that she can experience such a gift. As much as she bullies Sonata and calls her names, Aria only wants what’s best for her. She won’t admit it, but Sonata truly means a lot to the siren standing by the bed. It’s a never-ending cycle. Her constant need to prove that she is independent and doesn’t need someone else causes her to fight with Sonata often, but every night, the same thoughts come to her mind. Why does the blue siren mean so much to her? What would happen if she wasn’t here? And most of all, why can’t she admit to herself just how much she enjoys Sonata’s company? It’s awfully ironic that she can only think these things when the weight of the world is bearing down on her and her tired mind can’t handle it anymore. “I love you,” the purple siren whispers to herself, tears coming to her eyes once more. Why does she have to be so secretive…? Why does she have to hide the truth, even when she wants to tell Sonata these things? Her mind has to hide behind a veil of insults and annoyance when really, the blue siren makes her smile when no one else can.
She deserves more, right…? Someone as manipulative as Aria surely doesn't deserve love. Sonata, as kind as she is, shouldn’t have a problem finding someone who is better for her. Someone who doesn’t have trouble sleeping at night. Someone who isn’t constantly insecure of what to say next or someone who doesn’t feel the need to insult her. Perhaps it’s just a trick Aria’s mind is playing on her, but it’s working… Slowly lying down on the bed, Aria keeps her back to Sonata, trying to stay calm. Despite her loneliness, she can’t bring herself to wake the peaceful siren. This is how every night goes… Sleep avoids her and forces her to watch the one she loves get the gift she so desperately craves.
The shadows often laugh at her for this… Laughing at her for what is essentially her fault. She wouldn’t be experiencing this if she wasn’t alive. Her choice to keep living makes this all her fault. No one else’s… All it takes is one rope or a few pills to get it over with. Sonata wouldn’t have such a useless girlfriend. The world wouldn’t have to deal with her constant anger and Aria wouldn’t feel the pain of exhaustion anymore. What is keeping her here to begin with? It would be so easy to just… stop… This existence that just causes so many people more pain than anything should end, right…? Aria is just the weed in the garden, needing to be pruned.
Aria’s mind keeps bringing up these thoughts. She can’t be left alone for even a second. The shadows laugh and her mind beats down on her. Why would a siren feel like this? She was supposed to be the best, but now her mind tells her it’s not worth it anymore. It’s overwhelming… It all weighs down on her, making her feel like the room is even darker. Is it wrong for a siren to want to cry…? Surely, it is, but Aria can’t stop her eyes from tearing up even more, her hand gripping onto the sheet to try and find some comfort in this dark night. If the world had any sympathy, it would let the siren finally fall into the slumber she so desperately wants, but even now, the world spites her. Eventually, the purple siren lets herself cry, trying to find some escape from the shadows, the darkness… the loneliness… These thoughts telling her to end it all scare her… They’re right, but she doesn’t want to go through with it… Why does life have to be a choice between pain and ending it all?
“Aria?” a quiet voice calls out her name, sounding tired as a hand grabs her shoulder. This forces the purple siren to stop her cries, slowly looking behind her at the blue siren. Sonata, groggy from her sleep, looks at Aria tiredly. “Are you alright…?” Despite the fact her girlfriend just asked her a question, Aria finds it hard to answer, looking away from her once more.
“I’m fine. Just go back to sleep, dummy.” Her statement, trying to be humorous, misses the mark and sounds more hostile than she had intended. Within a second, she feels rustling in the bed, making her look back at Sonata once more.
Sitting up on the bed, Sonata’s eyes look down at the purple siren with concern, rubbing Aria’s shoulder slowly. “Aria, this is serious. Please.” Even though the two of them often throw insults at each other, Sonata’s eyes plead with Aria to take this seriously. Just once. “Is it your insomnia again? I’ve told you that you can wake me up,” Sonata offers again, showing just how sweet and kind Sonata is inside.
“Why should I wake you? Sleep is… a very nice thing,” Aria responds, trying to take the situation seriously like Sonata wants.
“Yeah, but I can easily fall asleep. You can’t… I just want to be here for you if you feel lonely.” This armistice where no insults or jokes are thrown out makes the purple siren feel odd. Is it okay to want to feel her embrace again? Would it be okay to ask for that one more time…? The rebel doesn’t quite know… Her self-image would scream no, but her mind craves Sonata’s touch.
“I’m sorry…” Aria whispers as quietly as she can, looking away from Sonata.
“Can you turn towards me? Please?” Sonata asks her girlfriend quietly, her hand still touching her shoulder. Aria, trying to think of any reason to refuse, eventually listens to her request, turning her body towards Sonata’s and prompting the blue siren to lay down beside her. Their eyes connect once more, Sonata giving her a big smile before grabbing Aria’s hand as gently as she can. A blush instantly comes to Aria’s face, seeing her fingers intertwined with Sonata’s. Is this the first time she’s realized just how beautiful Sonata’s hands look…? “I want to be here for you. Honestly,” Sonata tells her with a big smile, their hands holding onto each other tightly. “Can you let me…?” Sonata’s statement is as sweet and innocent as ever. It has a way of making Aria feel guilty for keeping this away from Sonata. She deserves better, but if that’s the case, then why does she want to help so much?
“You… won’t leave me alone tonight, right?” Aria asks in a quiet and begging tone, her mind telling her to not say these kinds of things, but her soul takes priority in this instance. Upon seeing Sonata nod, Aria feels a couple tears come back to her, her hand gripping Sonata’s a little more. “Could we… cuddle again?” Normally, Aria would never ask for something so mushy in a thousand years, but… there’s a first time for everything, right…?
“Of course~” Sonata wraps her arms around Aria, prompting the purple siren to do the same. The blue siren pulls her leg over Aria’s, sharing their warmth with each other. Their eyes gaze into each other’s, Aria remembering just why she loves this dork so much… The only question that remains in her mind is why does Sonata love her? What reason is there…?
“Why do you love me, Sonata…? All I do is insult you and cause you more trouble than it’s worth. I constantly keep you awake at night since I can’t sleep. Why…?” Aria asks out of desperation, searching for some kind of answer before the night ends. At this point, Aria can’t imagine going on one more day without knowing the answer. Why would Sonata EVER pick her out of all people? Why?
“Because I know we don’t mean it when we call each other names,” Sonata responds with a smile, holding Aria’s hand once more. “Because you really do care deep down, even if you don’t admit it. You go along with my adventures, even if you act annoyed. I… really like that~ You’ve always been here as well and I just love you~” Sonata’s eyes look into Aria’s once more, the two of them feeling this intimate atmosphere wash over them. “Now why do you love me, silly?”
It’s a good question… It’s not like Aria doesn’t have an answer, but her mind finds it hard to organize it into some sort of list. “Because you’re so random… You’re so caring and loyal. You would drop everything just to make sure someone feels better.” Her mind tells her to shut up, but each mushy word keeps coming out of her mouth. “You stay awake with me. And… make me feel like maybe I’m not a problem…” Aria looks into Sonata’s eyes, feeling an overwhelming sense of warmth and happiness in her. Sonata looks like she is feeling the exact same thing, her smile only getting bigger.
“You’re not a problem to me~” Sonata closes her eyes in this serene moment, bringing her face closer to Aria’s, her lips ever close to the purple siren’s. Her mind tells her to pull away, but her heart begs her to close the distance. A bright blush comes across Aria’s face, pulling away from Sonata’s advance while covering her own lips.
“Y-you’re not going to wait until I’m ready?” Aria asks in an accusatory manner, her bright red blush clearly showing her feelings.
“Oh? We can wait if you want~” Sonata says with the same innocent smile, the purple siren feeling guilty for pulling away. The two of them haven’t kissed a lot… Only a few times. Each time, Aria feels embarrassed and she always needs to close her eyes. Maybe it’s because she tries to convince herself it’s not happening. Maybe she just wants to feel like the world can’t see her. Regardless, Aria returns to her previous spot, closing her eyes and trying her best to get rid of the damn blush on her face. She can feel Sonata’s warmth and her slight breaths, making her feel even more nervous about the whole exchange.
“I’m ready,” Aria whispers to her girlfriend, the blush on her face only growing in intensity. A moment passes where both of them stay still, not moving the extra inch towards each other, but it only lasts for a singular moment. Both of their lips press against each other, the warmth being exchanged as well as their love. Even though the two of them have kissed before, each one feels like the first. This simple embrace never fails to embarrass both sirens, yet they can’t help but love it all the same. The embrace ends way too quickly for either of their likings, but the two of them simply smile and accept it. Their eyes reconnect with each other once more, Aria feeling even more tired than before. However, she doesn’t feel tortured or in pain now… What was an exhaustion that made her cry is now replaced with a peaceful feeling, exhausted in her girlfriend’s arms. “I love you,” Aria shamelessly whispers, closing her eyes and enjoying their embrace. Sonata holds onto the purple siren as well, rubbing her hand along Aria’s back.
“I love you too~”
