Forgive, Forget and Fall in Love

by raunbiw

Rating: teen
Tags: Rainbow Dash (EqG), Applejack (EqG), Slice of Life, Sad, Fluttershy (EqG), Romance, Equestria Girls
Length: 11536

What happens when the element of loyalty feels disloyal?

Nearly two years, Applejack and Rainbow Dash had spent as girlfriends. Just two months ago had they had their messy breakup. Rainbow Dash desperately wants her ex out of her head so she can enjoy her blooming relationship with Fluttershy. However, Applejack had always been known to be stubborn. As Rainbow Dash struggles with heartbreak, loyalty and love, which way will she decide to go?

{Briefly based off of "The Way I Loved You (Taylor's Version)" - Taylor Swift}

Published 2022-08-21 02:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-08-30 16:11:00 UTC

Rain

Rainbow Dash cheered up at the clouds after scoring the final and winning goal as the rain began to fall. Her soccer teammates gathered around her and grasped her in a big hug as the audience went ballistic. It would have lasted longer but the water began to come in buckets and soon the bleachers were empty and the team was running toward the school. Rainbow Dash followed.

A little bit later and Rainbow Dash was walking her girlfriend home, she was still wearing her jersey considering there was no real reason to change if she’d be out in the rain again. The storm eased up and was reduced to a light sprinkle. The silence and circumstance brought Rainbow Dash to a queasy smile.

After the Wondercolt soccer finals last year, the rain poured down and the streetlights around were blurry like substitute stars for the cloudy, dark sky but there you were in the distance, getting soaked by the minute anyway. Even though I had just changed into clean clothes, I ran toward you and met your lips and your eyes and your skin and your hat. We let go and–

“What are you thinking about?” Rainbow Dash didn’t respond right away as her hand was squeezed and the memory faded, leaving a sour taste on the back of her tongue. A few more steps with nothing but the sound of droplets on leaves and squelching of soggy sneakers. Fluttershy, spoke again. “Unless it’s… private. I don’t want to pry, of course.” Fluttershy looked up at her girlfriend and smiled.

Rainbow Dash stayed silent for a few more moments before meeting Fluttershy’s eyes. “Just you” She lied with a cocky smile. Fluttershy’s widened and Rainbow’s smile went genuine. She liked seeing Fluttershy happy, she liked Fluttershy.

They walked for a bit longer, Rainbow Dash was glad they were getting closer to Fluttershy’s house because then she would be able to go home and think. There’d been tons more thinking since it happened a few months ago. Thinking and guilt.

“You did really well at the game today.” Rainbow Dash turned her head to look at her.
“I would have said something sooner, but I figured you wanted to get out of the rain” Rainbow Dash loved the rain. “Pretty pointless though since we’re stuck in it anyway…” Fluttershy whispered. Rainbow Dash shrugged.

–We let go and you yelled at me how awesome I was with, “That footwork was as fine as you when you’re blushin’!” I’d have said I knew if I wasn’t indeed blushing, only you, Applejack, could get that out of me. Luckily you didn’t get to see it because you pulled me in for a squeeze. The rain was pounding hard in my eyes but it was okay because I already knew what you looked like and you sure were fine. We were screaming and laughing and kissing in the rain and I was happy.

“You’re right, and thanks! That final goal was pretty awesome.” Fluttershy nodded quickly and squeezed Rainbow Dash’s hand again. That was the end of it.

“Y'all are all amazin’ but Dash, you carried that game.” I yelled at you a thank you and we pulled away for real this time. I ended up spending the night at your house but only after wearing your clothes, drinking your cider, watching a dumb movie and winding down. You had congratulated me before, that was our third soccer season together, that time felt different though. Better.

Just another block, then Fluttershy’s house, then goodbye. The rain did most of the talking. “I’m sorry I didn’t bring an umbrella, I hope you don’t catch a cold.” A small voice piped up, Rainbow Dash shook her head.

“It’s not your fault, Fluttershy. I didn’t bring one either.” Fluttershy insisted anyway. “But you were stressed about the game, I should have remembered, so I–”

“It’s not your fault, Fluttershy.” Snapped Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy went quiet and looked away from her who felt instant regret, Fluttershy had done nothing wrong. Fluttershy was being Fluttershy. Rainbow Dash was being stupid. It all was stupid.

“I’m sorry I snapped, that was stupid.” Fluttershy squeezed her hand to say that it was okay and she understood, she always understood. That’s what made her so perfect but so frustrating at the same time because sometimes, just sometimes, Rainbow Dash wanted to be yelled at because sometimes, just sometimes, she deserved it. Rainbow Dash squeezed her hand back.

“Take the bus home please, I don’t want you getting sick.” Rainbow Dash nodded, even though she wasn’t going to. She loved the rain.

“Only if you want to of course…” Rainbow Dash nodded again and they were at their destination. Fluttershy led the way up to the porch, then the door before opening it and pulling Rainbow Dash into a hug. Her hugs were gentle. Rainbow Dash liked that about her.

Fluttershy whispered to besafe into her ear, making her smile. Rainbow Dash kissed her on the cheek before beginning to walk down the stairs.

“No promises!” She called back, starting to jog. Before Fluttershy could respond, she was out of earshot. Rainbow Dash stopped the jog as soon as she turned the corner. She was starting to like lone rain walks, there could only be one reason why.

I was sitting across from you at a beach diner, I had never been a neat eater but you never minded. We were going to go surfing but it started to rain. It was slow at first and I’d thought it’d stay that way but then it went fast and heavy. Unfortunately, the waves usually got choppy and unsafe during bad weather and I knew you wouldn’t let me do it like that. It started with the tapping sounds on the roof, then we looked out the window to see the downpour and people running for shelter. I slurped a sip of my milkshake.

“Well, Hay. Now what?” You said, I watched you slouch back in your chair as I took a moment to swallow. “Wanna just…” I paused for another sip. “Walk?” You snorted before sitting up again.

“You, Rainbow Dash, impatient as a kid waitin’ in line at a theme park, want to go on a walk?” I shrugged, gulping the last sip. “It’s raining, could be fun.” I said, still gnawing on the straw. I knew it’d be fun, I loved Applejack and I loved the rain. “Fine, but if you get bored, I get five dollars.” I smiled through the straw. “And if I don’t get bored, you’re buying me ice cream!”

We paid and left the diner, leaving a good tip. The moment we got outside we started to get soaked, thin t-shirts and all. I loved it.

Rainbow Dash turned the corner, feeling uncomfortable. She had some fond memories with Applejack, they had been dating for almost two years. Was it such a crime to think about them? Did Applejack think about them? Did Applejack think about her? If not, then that would be pathetic. Was she only thinking about them or was she craving them? She didn’t have any memories to ponder with Fluttershy yet because they had been dating for under two weeks. Yes she had some from their friendship beforehand but those didn’t compare… Should they compare? She liked Fluttershy though. Fluttershy was great, but why did she want more?

We stumbled into an ice cream parlour, laughing. I won, it was a fun walk. We dripped water on the floor all throughout our stroll to the counter. I didn’t stop chanting that I beat you until you flicked water from your wet hand into my eyes. I shut them to rub it out, once I opened them, a nice old lady was ready to take my order.

“Peanut butter and praline crunch in a waffle cone, please.” She smiled at me. “That’ll be $6.50.” I grinned at Applejack as she went to pull out a bill and some coins. I won.

Thinking about Applejack made Rainbow Dash’s Stomach churn, despite how amazing the shallow memories of them were, Rainbow Dash was crumbling and her mind was constantly racing. Applejack was before. They were before.

I watched you walk inside as I sat on the cold, wet grass alone. I was getting drenched by the second. I knew even then that I shouldn't have done that. I thought that maybe I could have gotten better and maybe I was wrong to begin with. There was always a way through. How did I forget that? I knew I was never going to let go, I was too devoted. Too loyal. I messed up. I regretted it already at that point. I yelled at the clouds and you didn’t hear me, you were already gone. I hoped you were crying too.

Fluttershy was now.

Author's Note

I have every single chapter written, I'll post the next one shortly <3 Leave constructive feedback please and share this story if you enjoyed it!

Moon

Rainbow Dash turned over and groaned into her pillow against the sound of music blaring into her ears through headphones. Anything to silence her thoughts. She had thought that once her and Applejack were over, the memories would stop but they just didn't. She simply wanted Applejack to go away. Her stubborn ex wouldn't leave her head and truth be told, she hadn't left her head since that night. What about Fluttershy? Couldn't Fluttershy replace that strong, green-eyed blonde that Rainbow Dash had fallen hard for over a year ago? She wished, but wishes didn't come true. Never.

Hopelessly, she tried to focus on the words of Bob Dylan but it was to no avail. Applejack, simply Applejack. Her time with Applejack had Rainbow Dash in a chokehold and it was not loosening up any time soon. She thrashed in bed, angrily desperate for a breath, desperate for a break.

Only two months before we ended. I couldn't sleep. I didn't know why, I was never very self aware though, you had said that to me before. It could have been the sugar I ate too late. Or it could just be one of those nights. Whatever the dumb reason, I couldn't sleep. I left your bed to you sleeping soundly and tip-toed to the window. It seemed kind of dainty for me, but I was a sucker for good views. I liked being up on tall skyscrapers in the city to get a good skyline, watching the sunrise every morning to music and yoga. Sweet Apple Acres had a good view. Especially covered in snow.

I tried my best to open the curtain quietly, the old metal rings on the old metal pole scraped a little bit, but you only shifted slightly. After a pause to make sure the coast was clear, I climbed up onto your window sill. I liked your room for many reasons, particularly the pictures of us and me plastered to the wall, but your wide window sill and bay window were the coolest. Sugar-coated apple trees from three directions could fill up my eyesight, all glowing with the bright white moon smack dab in the centre. I took a photo of it on my phone.

Rainbow Dash lifted her head to a soggy pillow and blurry eyes. She pushed up to look out her small window and at the sad view of brick next door. She wished she had apple trees and a moon to think to. To cry to. She turned over and flopped back down, head sinking into the wet pillow, eyes glued to the wall.

"The hay are y'all doin'?" you said, I didn't get startled...however I did almost manage to fall off of the window sill and onto the floor. "You good?" you spoke again. I steadied myself and then met your eyes.

"Can't sleep." I said. You nodded slowly. "Somethin' buggin' you?" I shook my head and slouched against the glass. "Just. Can't. Sleep." I groaned and thudded my head, lightly, before turning around to look at the moon again. The fuzzy white haze around it looked like spray paint to me.

"Try harder." You said. I rolled my eyes, "gee, thanks." You shook your head and turned away from me, placing your head back on the pillow. My gaze stayed on the moon.

A few moments later, you spoke again. "C'mon Dash, long day tomorrow, we gotta shovel the driveway and set up before people show up to buy cider." I knew it hadn't been the end of it. You were tired and you were right, there was no point in arguing so I took one last glance before trudging back to bed.

As soon as I lay down, you wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer, face buried in my hair. I snuggled into you and your other arm came lightly under and around my neck, hand tracing circles on my cheek. I ended up falling asleep after all.

Rainbow Dash continued to stare at the wall. She wasn't supposed to crave this, crave her. She had a girlfriend, one that took care of her and had never said a mean thing in her life. A loyal one. One she liked. One that didn't drive her up the walls in doubt. What was going on?

The wall got blurry and her nose twitched and then came the first warbled sob. Headphones were yanked off of her head and whipped at the wall, the loud crash was satisfying but not satisfying enough. She pressed her face into her damp pillow again and screamed.

"Why do you do this to me?!" The words scratched her throat and left it throbbing. The rest of the suffocated cries didn't aid either.

Grass, prickly grass tickled the back of my neck as I shifted on the ground. We forgot to pack a blanket, well I did, It was my job (even though you invited me here) and I blew it. You deserved better and I was pretty annoyed with myself but whatever. You never messed up stupid stuff.

We were here for the fireworks, it was some random park in Canterlot but there were scheduled fireworks that day since it was the fourth of July. They wouldn't start, I was so bored and they wouldn't start. It was dark and there were other people who had blankets to lay on rubbing it in my face. My fingers were linked with yours, at least you had the bag that had the cider in it to rest your head on, I had mud. My fault anyway.

Rainbow Dash kicked her blanket off of the bed. She thumped her feet on to the floor and stood up making her way to the kitchen before opening the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water. She chugged it to calm down and took a deep, jittery breath. Didn't really help. She trudged to the door and slipped on her slides before making her way out the door.

"When is it gonna start?" I craned my neck to look up at you. You shrugged. I groaned. "It's taking forever." You didn't say anything for a second so I rolled my eyes and looked away from you. A few moments later you responded.

"Uh huh." I looked up at you again and stared for a minute before looking away. You were being boring.

"I'm bored." I said flatly. You didn't answer so I once again turned my head. Once I did, you spoke. "Look at the moon then, just as pretty as the fireworks, that's what I tell Apple Bloom at least." I debated it for a second. "Meeeeh, the fireworks are rainbow coloured so..." I watched you form a smile as you flicked me in the forehead. Your solution was inconvenient because the moon was on the other side of the sky. I sighed and turned over, half rolling on to you, I was squirmish and I knew I was being annoying but I didn't put any effort in to stop. I could see the moon but only until you pulled me up on you fully, and into a kiss.

Full and bright, wet grass, tears and moon. Rainbow Dash was at the park, laying on the ground. She couldn't see the moon too well because the sky was still cloudy from earlier's storm, the glow she could see was small too, that night was a crescent. She looked anyway, the grey wispy clouds sufficed fine, like sad, quiet fireworks against the dark, starry sky.

She felt pathetic, she was at a random park crying over her ex past midnight. The ex that she'd broken up with and she was doing so while taken. Disloyal, stupid, stupid, stupid. The tears streamed down the sides of her face in two even lines. She wouldn't give in by sobbing out loud, no not a chance. What could she do? There was no way that staying with Fluttershy while grieving her relationship with Applejack could be morally okay. Staying with her would be selfish. She liked her though, she liked Fluttershy... She wouldn't have to be alone either, Rainbow Dash hated being alone and maybe being with Fluttershy could help her get over Applejack, faster. Once she was fully over Applejack, they could be happier together!

But then what about the time in between? All the being distant, everything Fluttershy did being compared to Applejack? That wouldn't be fair to Fluttershy at all, it'd make Rainbow Dash a horrible person. Although leaving her would be selfish too if she was only doing it to feel better about herself. But she was also doing it to save Fluttershy from the distant and sad Rainbow Dash... Was that loyal enough? Selfless enough? Her last breakup was plenty selfless so maybe this would be okay? But she didn't want to lose Fluttershy at all, she couldn't afford that. But that would be selfish, what was she meant to do here? Maybe just feel nothing.

I couldn't look at your face, I focussed on the moon instead, such a cloudy night. I felt like crying, I was pathetic for that. I could feel your eyes on me, usually I wanted them to be, but right then, I didn't. "I love you, Rainbow Dash but my sister's hungry, We–" You stopped as my head darted up to look at you. My lip stopped trembling for a minute, I stared for a second and I could tell you were irritated with me. Of course you were. "Well you shouldn't!" I spat. Maybe I was getting irritated too.

After a shuddery breath, Rainbow Dash set home.

Author's Note

Thank you to anyone reading this! Whether it ends up being two people or two hundred, I'm grateful for all of you.

Wind

Rainbow Dash tugged her sweater tighter around her chest as a heavier wind gust struck again, whipping her hair around against her neck. The breeze was annoying and constant that day, not a moment where every leaf was still. Rainbow Dash was tired, running on very few hours of sleep the night prior. She would have stayed home and relaxed all day but she had a scheduled picnic with Fluttershy that she couldn’t bring herself to cancel.

She was almost there, the wind kept threatening to steal her tacky, dollar store earbuds. Angry with herself for breaking her headphones, Rainbow Dash continued to trudge down the sidewalk. Unfortunately for her, “Somebody to Love” by Queen had to quietly echo in her ears and the memories were shoved down her throat again.

It was the first September we were dating for, and I was helping you pick apples again. I was so smart, granted, not in the egghead way but still. I did have the brilliant idea to bring a speaker along so we could at least listen to music while we dealt with the apples. You were skeptical at first but every time I glanced at you when some country noise shuffled, you were totally nodding your head to it. How could you nod your head to that? I have no idea, but you enjoyed it.

Three country turds went in a row. Three! I had to work through three of them, the playlist shuffle was totally rigged, I’m pretty sure that the three songs were all by the same dude too. It was fine I guess, since you were happy with it. Afterwards, I was finally rewarded with some Queen. “Can anybody find me somebody to love?” The speaker asked.

Rainbow Dash tugged out the bad earbuds, yanking them unplugged from her phone and into a public trash can on the side of the street. The memory didn’t quiet down anyways.

As soon as the song started I turned to look at you, almost giving myself whiplash. Anyway, I broke into a lip sync and you rolled your eyes at me before reaching up to grab an apple. It was so very rude, I deserved all of your attention. I walked up to you and ducked under your arm, placing myself between you and the tree. Your eyes moved from the apple to my eyes, just centimetres away. I placed my hand on your arm and tugged on it, lyrics still in my mouth. You sighed but broke into a smile, you didn’t hate my music, no one ever could to be honest.

Despite the song being off, Rainbow Dash could hear Freddie Mercury’s words ringing in her ears with every step towards the park.

You took your hand off of the apple and placed it on my hip, the other one at the base of my neck. I mirrored your hands with my own and we started to dance. The positions changed gradually as the song continued and soon your lips were on mine and my hand was in yours. A loud gust of wind picked up a bunch of leaves from the ground and threw them at me, I exclaimed as they whipped me in the face. How they missed you and hit me? I have no idea because your face was literally on mine. You chuckled and the hand on my lower back pulled me closer into you.

Angry, she unlocked her phone and removed the song from her playlist. Way to ruin a good thing, Applejack. Rainbow Dash was almost there anyway.

As the song came to a close, I left the kiss and whirled away towards a tree. I didn’t look at you again as I tugged an apple off of a branch. I knew deep down that I wasted a bunch of time so as “Don’t Stop Me Now”, my favourite, started playing, I continued to pick apples. Yeah, I probably pressed play instead of shuffle when I set the whole thing up…

I felt your gaze still on me, you hadn’t looked away, I tried to picture your expression. You sighed but I could hear the smile behind it. “You’re such a darn distraction, Rainbow Dash.” I smirked at the tree.

“You love it, though.” I replied after a second, you hummed in response and I fought the urge to dance. Leaves continued to soar through the sky. Wind.

Fluttershy waving in the distance, long soft pink hair, and a knife with vegan butter on the edge in hand. Anxiety and exhaustion were playing soccer with Rainbow Dash’s stomach, making her legs shake and wobble with every step. She hoped she wouldn’t trip, despite being an athlete, she was always a bit of a klutz, now even more. The wind was a pain too, sending her split ends smacking into her face every few seconds. Itchy. She had forgotten to bring a hair tie. As she approached the pink and white, plaid blanket, she practically fell to her knees as she sat down.

“Hey!” She said, a little too loudly. Fluttershy looked up from her bread, and smiled before crawling over to place a kiss on Rainbow Dash’s cheek. “How’s your day going?” Fluttershy asked, looking back down to finish spreading her peanut butter, Rainbow Dash swiftly smudged the kiss off of her face. Nothing against Fluttershy, she liked Fluttershy whether she’d be ending things or not, but what she did not like was thick, sticky lip gloss staying like caramel on her face. She just couldn’t stand it.

Walking in the city. I only ever liked walks with you. They were boring but you were not. We stopped to get ice cream. As we ate it at a park before frisbee, I somehow managed to smear caramel across my face. The wind blew and my hair stuck to it. It made me mad like nails on a chalkboard because it was thick and sticky and I could feel every single hair glued to it and to my face.

“It’s okay, yours? Angel being a dingus again?” Fluttershy sighed with a smile as she nodded. “He tried to melt the ice cream with a hair dryer while I was in the shower.” She laughed “I think he was jealous because I couldn’t give him any, but ice cream just isn’t safe for little bunnies like him.” Fluttershy laughed again but Rainbow Dash couldn’t bring herself to smile. “Ice cream?” she questioned. Fluttershy met her eyes. “Yeah! I thought it’d be a sweet surprise! I know you don’t like my ice cream, so I got you your own with milk in it, double chocolate.” Rainbow Dash didn’t respond. “That flavour is okay, right?”

I couldn’t even get it off because there was ice cream dripping down my hand and if I went to wipe it off of my face, it would make the problem worse. I groaned and you laughed at me. It should’ve made me more mad but I didn’t feel like being angry. Your laugh was your laugh and before I knew it, you were so close, tugging my hair out of the caramel, the little drags and smears and stickiness on my skin made me shiver. You shook your head at me with a smile and all I could focus on were your freckles. You fixed and licked the problem off your finger and then we had our first kiss.

Even though it wasn’t even the same flavour and the memory was stale, Rainbow Dash couldn’t function, she was tired, she knew she’d be chronically lonely starting that day and she was done. It started in her throat, the lip quiver and the urge to gag. Then it spread to her hands, unable to stay still. Shaking, shaking, shaking. Her eyes began to sting and then the first tear hit the blanket before it all went downhill. How embarrassing.

“Rainbow?” Fluttershy said, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, Rainbow Dash’s eyes stayed glued to the blanket as she inhaled shakily. Her voice cracked on the exhale, breaking into a quiet sob. Her eyes squeezed shut but she felt arms slip around her waist. Fluttershy slowly pulled her close and ran one hand softly through her windswept hair. The other, rubbing circles on her back. In a second, Rainbow Dash pulled away and sprung to her feet, trembling. Tears continued to stream down her face, fall to the floor and dampen the blanket. It was a disaster.

Fluttershy stood up to meet her gaze, refraining from touching her. “Rainbow Dash, what’s going on?” Rainbow Dash looked down at the ground again, trying to think about what to say, how to get it out when she could barely breathe and how to deal with the inevitable aftermath.

“Rainbow…” Rainbow Dash could hear the concern fluttering on the edge of her voice. Fluttershy brushed her arm with the back of her hand, Rainbow Dash flinched.

“No!” She exclaimed. “No, no, no! This is all wrong- It’s…” Fluttershy’s gaze didn’t leave her girlfriend’s face. Her hand gripped the latter’s shaking one before she said, “what is?” Rainbow Dash didn’t respond, she focussed on trying to breathe but as she felt Fluttershy’s hand close around her own, she spoke.

“This! All of this. It’s not…” Her voice trailed off again, she looked up to meet Fluttershy’s eyes. They looked hurt. Deja vu. Rainbow Dash could see the reflection of herself in them as they started to glaze over. Her own eyes, so small, so fragile, so vulnerable. It made her angry. She wasn’t supposed to be like that, let alone be like that in front of someone. Let alone be like that in front of someone again. Fluttershy quickly wiped at her tears with her free hand before placing it around Rainbow Dash’s shoulders.

“You miss her, don’t you?” She said softly, Rainbow Dash nodded and brought her hands up to hide herself. A large gust of wind took them both by surprise, it sent napkins and paper plates flying into trees. Fluttershy carefully took hold of Rainbow Dash’s hands, removing them so she could see her face.

“It’s okay.” She said, Rainbow Dash’s eyes darted to Fluttershy, pupils constricting. “It’s not okay! It’s not! I’m not..!” She started to tremble harder again as she became more worked up, how could Fluttershy think anything about this was remotely okay? She tried to catch her breath.

“It’s okay. You love her, I knew this.” Fluttershy pulled Rainbow Dash in again and slowly guided her to the ground, trying desperately to calm her at least a little bit with strokes to her arm. Rather than pushing away again, Rainbow Dash took it. She firmly gripped Fluttershy’s shoulders and tucked her face properly in the curve from her shoulder to her ear.

“I’m not loyal.. You don’t deserve this! I–” Fluttershy’s hand moved from her arm to the base of her neck before she interrupted.

“I knew we wouldn’t last. I love you, Rainbow Dash, I’m not angry with you.”

“I’m angry, Dash, this is ridiculous”

Rainbow Dash pushed back but only to be at her eye level. Fluttershy’s kind smile and teary eyes.

“Yell at me! Be mad! I’ve messed up so bad, I–'' Her cheeks and nose were going pink, pale blue skin glossy against the sun. Rose eyes red and lashes holding teardrops like morning dew. It wanted to make Fluttershy cry. Instead, she just pulled her back into her chest and let her let it out.

A big lightning strike lit up the sky in the distance. It looked cool. I stumbled backwards into a tree trunk. Shaky legs, shaky legs. It was kind of cold out. I felt it at the tips of my ears. You turned around to look at the door for a second. You looked at me, looked at the door again, shook your head and stepped towards it.

“I just annoy people, ruin things and mess up my life! Why can’t I be good at this too?! Nothing else matters now!” She paused.

“I’ll be alone forever…” She whispered.

Breaking Now.

Author's Note

Longer one today! If you read it, please leave me some tips or let me know what I should continue doing in the future when writing! Thank you!

Breaking Before

It was mid February, the sun was down but it wasn’t that late. I was wearing a hoodie and a pair of stolen pj pants from you, my hair was even messier than usual. I was probably a wreck. I had been laying in bed ever since we resolved our fight the day before, over text. It was easier that way since you couldn’t see my face and I couldn’t hear you yell. I roughly knocked on your door, you opened it.

“Rainbow Dash? What’re y’all doing here, I’m about to start on dinner.” I thought about whether I wanted to keep going. I did. I had to do something about the nine hours spent awake in my dark room all day. “Oh. Just wanna talk…” You were quick to answer, too quick. Dismissive I thought. “Well you can come inside, I can multitask.” I wanted all your attention for this, but when didn’t I?

“Alone?” I asked. You glanced inside the door, looked back at me and shook your head. “Mac an’ Granny are inside prepping the veg for me, they’ll be there.” I frowned, that meant I wouldn’t be able to get it over with now.

You must have seen my face because you walked in and came back with your slides. “Five minutes, Granny might call me in though. What’s up?”

A cool breeze whizzed past me as we walked further into the orchard quietly. I knew where I wanted to end with this, but I didn’t know how to start. “Dash?” You asked. I stayed focussed on the muddy ground, trying to form words on the tip of my tongue. I took a deep breath, then or never. I was gonna have to just say it, my eyes were starting to prick already.

“you’re going to have to just spit it out because I need to get back–.” “I’m just not good enough for you…” I said. It was so incredibly hard, but I did it. I said it. It had been in my head for ages, especially after the other day. My brain had done flips thinking about how I was always letting you down. Maybe a small part of me hoped you’d hype me up and tell me I was the most perfect and most awesomest girlfriend ever but you were the honest one and if any of that was true, I don’t think you would’ve been so mad.

It was stupid but true, like, I was awesome and talented but I wasn’t good, I wasn’t good at being a girlfriend to you and maybe I never would be. People were never good at everything, you had told me that before but it really sucked. I wanted to be good at this, I wanted to be good for you and I think that made the fact that I wasn’t, a million times harder to deal with. I waited for a response, the silence was loud. Either you or the heavy gust of wind that came, sent shivers through me, I rocked on my heels. It was like watching a game with a tied score. I heard you laugh, my face broke. I was confused.

“Hooey, Dash. You’re always high on how awesome you are. C’mon now, I’ve got stuff to do inside.” That was exactly what I had meant though. Being a brag, wasting your time, annoying you like a little sister. I wasn’t that blind. I’d known, I'd known for a while at that point but I thought maybe the good parts of me were worth whatever you hated about me. Yesterday proved me wrong. I was going to beat you to the bush, maybe be able to keep a little pride. I choked up, I didn’t want to but my throat didn’t listen. I didn’t want to cry either. At least it was dark.

I couldn’t look at your face, I focussed on the moon instead, such a cloudy night. I felt like crying, I was pathetic for that. I could feel your eyes on me, usually I wanted them to be, but right then, I didn’t. “I love you, Rainbow Dash but my sister’s hungry, We–” You stopped as my head darted up to look at you. My lip stopped trembling for a minute, I stared for a second and I could tell you were irritated with me. Of course you were. “Well you shouldn’t!” I spat. Maybe I was getting irritated too.

“What?!” You said. I left no time for you to continue. “I’m always wasting your time and– and talking. And distracting you, making everything a stupid competition. You deserve better than me, I’m not good at this!” Hot tears fell from my eyes but you couldn’t see them. I was glad you couldn’t see them. If you could’ve seen them, they would’ve fallen harder, faster. My short nails dug into my rough palms. Someone called you from inside. I had to go faster. My specialty.

“Dash–” Your voice seemed soft but I wasn’t finished. “Well it’s done now! We’re done! I always feel like a second to you, like, like I’m letting you down and it’s not fair! I’m supposed to just be awesome… this– It’s too hard!” The wind spoke next, your eyes seemed hurt. If I could see your eyes, then maybe you could see mine. As soon as the last word left my tongue, my brain began running a marathon. Eighteen months. Nearly two years gone. No more apples, no more ice cream, no more cider, no more you. I lost all of that and it began to sink in. You could’ve been talking to me but I couldn’t hear anything, my thoughts were too loud.

A big lightning strike lit up the sky in the distance. It looked cool. I stumbled backwards into a tree trunk. Shaky legs, shaky legs. It was kind of cold out. I felt it at the tips of my ears. You turned around to look at the door for a second. You looked at me, looked at the door again, shook your head and stepped towards it. I could see orange flowers on your counter before the door shut. Wind smacked me in the face, and I fell to the ground at the base of the tree. Rain began to pour. The moon hid behind the clouds.

I watched you walk inside as I sat on the cold, wet grass alone. I was getting drenched by the second. I knew even then that I shouldn't have done that. I thought that Maybe I could have gotten better and maybe I was wrong to begin with. There was always a way through. How did I forget that? I knew I was never going to let go, I was too devoted. Too loyal. I messed up. I regretted it already at that point. I yelled at the clouds and you didn’t hear me, you were already gone. I hoped you were crying too. We didn’t even make it to our second Valentine’s Day.

Author's Note

Get it? Because at the end of last chapter it said "Breaking Now". Lol!

Flowers

Afternoon, her first day single in half a month. Rainbow Dash was going to speak to Applejack. Her ex. Her other ex, Fluttershy had helped her come to the decision.

Step after step after step, her fingers fumbled with each other as she walked down the path to Sweet Apple Acres. She had a loud, obnoxious voice at the back of her head telling her that this would be a mistake that would take her pride and send her into a different but more dizzying spiral, so she tried to drown it out with Fluttershy’s words. “Talk to her then, just talk to her. She’ll understand.” Mumbled into her hair. “She’s Applejack, you know Applejack.” Whispered into her ear. Applejack, stubborn, one-sided but also, maybe just a little compassionate.

As she got closer and closer, the more she wanted to turn around and leave. However she had to troop through it because she knew she wouldn’t survive if she didn’t do this. Stuff had to be cleared up, she knew Applejack deserved it and maybe Rainbow Dash felt like she did too, at least after yesterday.

The closer she got, she remembered how mad Applejack had been that day, during their fight. The glare plastered on her face. The fire in her eyes, it was scary. Unexpected.

“I’m angry, Dash, this is ridiculous”

She came to the conclusion that she’d rather think about a happier instance. There couldn’t be any harm to it now. She was single so there was no guilt to feel about it and she wasn’t trying to get over her ex anymore, so…

Valentine’s day, the only Valentine’s day we had together. See, usually that would be a really sad thing for other couples but for us, it was just another day. I didn’t buy you flowers and you didn’t buy me chocolate. I was happy you weren’t into mushy stuff either because getting chocolate with a sappy card in the hallways at school and liking it? So embarrassing.

Since other people expect that garbage on Valentine’s day, I guess they expected it for us too. We were just going to go see a movie and sneak candy (not heart chocolates) into the theatre and laugh about it. It could be called a date, I guess… but not a gross date. That was planned for after school and I didn’t have any classes with you that day.

Maybe that was why so many people were asking me when we broke up. Okay, three, but still! It was weird that it happened three times. It was so funny. I didn’t see why people thought dollar store chocolate and grocery flowers meant love. You know, loving someone would be love. Nevermind, that was gross.

It was very unlike Rainbow Dash to walk slowly, especially on purpose. The word dash was quite literally her last name, being fast was a given. But now alas, Rainbow Dash was walking slowly. Step after step through the blossoming orchard and towards Applejack’s door. The closer she got the slower she went, slowly, slow, slower. Even so, the door still grew bigger in sight. She stopped, took a deep breath, and sprinted towards it before she could run away.

This dude from math even thought he had a chance with me. First of all, I barely liked men. Second of all, no, gross, yuck, he tried to give me roses. Third of all, I have a girlfriend? Even if he’d thought we’d broken up, no way could he have thought that I’d wanna date that soon. I had literally kissed her yesterday. Besides, him? I had spoken to him five times, maybe less. He had helped me a few times with questions but that was it. Egghead. Some of the rose petals were dried up too. If he was going to offer me flowers, at least get good flowers.

I may or may not have laughed before walking away. You scolded me for that when I told you about it at the movies, apparently I should have been nice to him because he liked me. Whatever, loyal to you always.

Rainbow Dash had already knocked on the door. She had knocked on the door. Applejack would get there and they’d have to talk. Rainbow Dash would have to talk to Applejack. It was happening, it was happening. Footsteps approached the door and Rainbow Dash squeezed her eyes shut with anticipation.

She was surprised to be greeted with a deep, baritone voice questioning her name. She opened her eyes, one at a time and looked him up and down. Big Mac. She quickly straightened up and fiddled with the split ends of her ponytail. Of course Applejack wouldn’t be the one to answer the door. What luck.

“Oh! Uh– hey, hi! Is– Um, Aj home?” Rainbow Dash couldn’t tell from his demeanour, whether Big Mac hated her or not. He didn’t seem mad? But he didn’t seem thrilled either. “Eeyup.” He responded. She couldn’t help but smile, she used to always be around the Apple family household and eeyup was all she’d hear.

“Is she busy?” She questioned. Big Mac shook his head. “Nope.” Rainbow Dash nodded slowly, hand abandoning the ponytail and pressing her fingers against each other.

“Cool…” She took a deep breath and held it for a second, she felt embarrassed. “Can I… talk to her? Please?” Big Mac smiled. “Eeyup” Maybe he didn’t hate her after all.

She came quicker than Rainbow Dash expected. Apparently, the four months since she had last made eye contact with Applejack was not enough time to prepare because as soon as blonde hair and a plaid flannel appeared in the doorway, fear. Rainbow Dash was scared. It helped a little bit that the look on her ex’s face wasn’t one of distaste. It wasn’t one of immediate thrill either though. That seemed to be running in the family. Rainbow Dash held up a shy hand to wave, quickly breaking any eye contact there had been. She cleared her throat quietly.

“Talk?” She said, trying to hide a nervous quiver that had placed itself in her throat. Applejack nodded, not too slowly but not too eagerly either, her face remained neutral, Applejack had always had a good poker face.

Rainbow Dash felt a big flood of deja vu when Applejack disappeared for a moment and then returned with her slides. That was why she was glad when Applejack walked past her and gestured for her to follow behind and into the orchard. Something different.

The walk began in silence. There was awkward tension, undeniably. But it didn’t seem like angry tension, and there wasn’t nearly as much of it as Rainbow Dash had predicted. It was just step after step past tree after tree. Contrary to last time, Applejack did not seem to be in a time crunch and didn’t rush her to say anything. Silence remained for around seven minutes of quiet steps.

Fallen Apple Blossoms coated the dirt pathway they were on, big, strong apple trees lined both sides, it made Rainbow Dash think about a time where they were walking down one of the other segways through the acres and acres of trees during flowering season, she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Remember the time you totally fell and got us covered in petals?” She said, still avoiding eye contact, she hoped that starting on a high note would maybe make things a little less awkward, even if her version of things weren’t fully the truth…

“Last year.” She added, it would be embarrassing if Applejack didn’t remember it at all. Rainbow Dash yelped when an elbow jabbed her, lightly in the ribs. Rose met stem as they met each other’s eyes. Rainbow Dash was relieved to see a smile plastered on Applejack's face.

“Bull, Dash. You tripped over the root.” Rainbow Dash shook her head, sighing. Her plan seemed to be working, either that or Applejack wanted her back. “Well you were the one who kicked up all the petals into my hair!”

You also landed on top of me, slamming my head into the said root, yikes, that took days of Tylenol to stop being a pain. I didn’t even tell you about that detail. Never will.

“Cause you didn’t let go of my hand, yanked me down with ya!” Applejack retorted, rolling her eyes. Rainbow Dash sighed. “Well it happened too fast.” Applejack shook her head.

After a few moments on the ground, you got off of me and reached out a hand, I took it and you pulled me to standing. You started picking petals out of my hair, I gave into the urge to shake them all out as if I was at a rock concert. My head started pounding. My fault. I was opening my eyes when suddenly your lips were roughly pressed into mine. Man, did my eyes close again faster than ever. I blindly took small steps forward, attempting to avoid stepping on your feet until I had you backed against a tree. That only lasted a second before I was spun around. Before I knew it, I was the one backed against the tree. Of course you just had to steal Top from me. I was not having it, I grunted and spun us back around. My turn. You refused to give it up though, because once again I was woozily swept off of my feet and placed against the tree. I felt the force that time, it knocked more flowers off of the tree and onto my face. I decided to stop fighting for it, it wasn’t like I hated it.

Rainbow Dash knew for a fact that Applejack probably remembered what happened after the fall because she was looking down at the ground and smiling. Rainbow Dash knew that Applejack always did that when having steamy thoughts. While they were dating, she would have acted upon those thoughts for the enjoyment of both herself and her girlfriend, like their last Halloween together.

Applejack as Poison Ivy and her girlfriend as Harley Quinn, the only time Rainbow Dash would ever wear pigtails. The costumes were much better than the year prior, hotter too. Aliens and astronauts were cool but Rainbow Dash was also a huge superhero fan. Applejack didn’t mind as long as she was happy.

Applejack was practically dragging Rainbow Dash home from a halloween party that Rainbow Dash had dragged Applejack too. The latter was barely drunk, unlike the former. As soon as Rainbow Dash hazily caught that look on her girlfriend’s face, sloppy kisses it was.

This time she didn’t act on it.

The kiss ended and I was still a little dizzy, whether it was from the tree root or your lips, I couldn’t tell ya. You picked out more little petals from my knotted hair, after what I assume was the last one, you held it up next to my face. “They match your eyes.” You said, looking at the petal rather than my face. I would too if I had ever said something so utterly cheesy, which I wouldn’t. I snickered and shook my head, slowly this time. You let go of the petal and blew it towards me. I scrunched up my face. I opened my eyes and scanned yours for a second.

“Yours are like… Grass!” You sighed and smiled, unpinning me from the rough bark.

Author's Note

one more to go!

Trees

The day with the apple blossoms and dizzy kisses faded into irrelevance as the air between Rainbow Dash and Applejack became tense again. Maybe bringing that up as the first thing to talk about wasn’t such a smart idea, Rainbow Dash had no idea how to segway a steamy kiss into making things better. She glanced at Applejack, her smile had faded into a bit of a glare. Uh oh.

She knew that to make things better she’d need to explain. Explaining meant being vulnerable, being honest. It was a huge hit or miss. She’d either be forgiven for her brash and hurtful decision to break up or she’d be lectured and told to leave. Applejack’s worst trait was probably her short temper. Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to speak before she was interrupted.

“I betcha Fluttershy never gave you no kisses like those ones, that day.” Rainbow Dash stopped dead in her tracks, her breath caught in her throat. That was not expected, Rainbow Dash didn’t even think that Applejack knew that she had started dating Fluttershy. A look of horror was firmly plastered on her face. Applejack stopped a few steps ahead and turned to read her expression with an ironic smile on her face. Rainbow Dash had been one to do a lot of stupid things, bringing that kiss up was one of them. She thought of another.

I was sitting on my bed. Sitting on my bed in a cast, well, it was more of a splint, boot thing. My ankle wasn’t broken that time. It was sprained. Gosh, it was so stupid too. I had been out with one of my friends from the team, we were playing Truth or Dare on our way to grab smoothies, it was more like Dare or Dare. We had fun because she did not chicken out and neither did I. We were walking down the street and it was my turn to be dared. She dared me to climb a tree… and jump down. I knew how to land tumbles and break fall pretty well so I didn’t figure it would be too bad. I nodded with determination before approaching the tree.

I started to climb it, she told me to go higher so I did. Higher, higher. I was pretty far from the ground, heights didn’t bother me though. She was satisfied. I jumped. When I jumped, my arm hit a branch, scraping my elbow. It totally threw off my form. I landed wrong and my ankle twisted, it sent pain shooting through my entire leg, anyway, we went to the hospital and it was sprained, that meant I couldn’t help you pick apples. I hadn’t even thought about the fact that I ended up needing to miss the beginning of the autumn soccer season too.

“Didja really think I didn’t know you completely ran to her after dumpin’ me like trash in the bin?” no, she did not and besides that, Rainbow Dash very well did not run to her. If Applejack knew what yesterday was like, maybe she’d take it back. Rainbow Dash fought the anger that was threatening to show on her face, dumpin’ her like trash in the bin? A complete misconception on her ex’s part because that was not what happened. Rainbow Dash took a deep breath and continued walking, it was not going to turn into a fight if she could help it.

So I was alone in my room, trying to figure out how to word my text to you. Hey Applejack, fell out of a tree so you need to pick all the apples all by yourself, sorry! :) Absolutely Not. I briefly debated the option of calling you but I decided against it. I wouldn’t know what to say anyway and what if you were doing something? I hated getting calls when I was in the middle of something frustrating, it just made me more mad. I started typing. Aj, I’m sorry. I sprained an ankle earlier and I’m not allowed to leave my bed. I can’t come help you today. I pressed send before reaching over to my nightstand for a sip of water. When I looked back at my phone you had read the message, I sat there staring at it for fifteen minutes before realising you weren’t going to reply.

“I did not dump you,” Rainbow Dash said–as calmly as she could manage. Applejack scoffed, Rainbow Dash also had a short temper and it was being tested heavily, right then. Applejack’s voice came again, loud and angry. “You basically said that it was a competition on who was better, me or you, and since you were losing, in your mind, you bolted,” Rainbow Dash was baffled. That was not what she said. At least, it was not what she had meant.

“That was not what I said,” She said quietly to avoid yelling. It was met with a quick response.

“Oh really? Then what was–?!”

“Just give me a minute!.. Please!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. Her composure was destined to break from the beginning, it had to happen at one point. Applejack nodded, looking down at the ground, attentive. Rainbow Dash inhaled, then exhaled, then inhaled again.

I was pretty bored, being an impatient athlete who couldn’t leave her bed was not fun at all. Yes, I could have watched a show or reread multiple of many Daring Do books for the trillionth times, but I was too busy rereading my texts with you. I missed you. Even though it was work, it wasn’t like I wasn’t looking forward to picking apples with you. Besides, usually there was cider afterwards. Ever since I started dating you, I always got more cider than everyone else. What a plus.

I slipped my noise-cancelling headphones over my head and started blasting music into my ears. I placed my phone on the nightstand and pulled my blanket up, slowly shifting towards the wall and leaning further into my pillow, eyes closing. It was going to be a long day.

Woo-hoo

But you know I’m yours

Woo-hoo

But you know you’re mi–

Two fingers trailed across my forehead, brushing hair out of my face, I think. The sudden touch startled the gay off of me. I opened my eyes and went to sit up quickly but grimaced as my foot moved. I yanked off my headphones and Weezer was replaced with the sound of your voice.

“Sorry, Dash. Thought ‘cha were asleep,” you said, taking a seat on the side of my bed. I sat up properly.

“My headphones were on.” You nodded and handed me a bottle, it wasn’t cider though. It was apple juice. Almost as good.

“Sorry, Granny is still making the cider. I can bring some by later though,” I nodded.

“Thanks, what are you doing here though? The apples…” I trailed off as you readjusted to sit closer to me.

“Huh?” I said, confused.

“Mac an’ his friends can take care of it today,” you responded as you wrapped your arms around me. I placed a quick kiss on your jawline before curling in and tossing you some blanket.

“But you always want to get a higher count than him.” You and your brother competed every single apple picking season on who could get the most fruit.

“As long as it gets done, you’re more important.” You winked, I smiled.

“I said… that I wasn’t good enough for you and that I was sick of letting you down!” Applejack responded quickly again. Rainbow Dash was losing hope that she could save the conversation.

“Well I said, that, that was hooey!” Rainbow Dash felt another surge of anger flow through her.

“Right, hooey… after asking me to spit it out a hundred times and getting too mad at me over one small thing before. How loving.” Rainbow Dash heard Applejack inhale.

“Yes, I got mad when you made a rainbow coloured river out of every single piped water trench I made for the trees in the summer,” Applejack replied--her voice wasn’t as harsh as before. Rainbow Dash grew hopeful again.

“In the summer. It was the end of winter. And Granny Smith thought it was pretty.” Applejack’s response came just slightly slower than it had before.

“It stained the pipes forever, after though. Still coloured.” She said, Rainbow Dash smiled slightly, anger slipping away.

“Granny Smith, thought it was pretty,” she repeated. Applejack sighed.

“We were over this before anyway. I said that maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so mad, you know that.” Rainbow Dash nodded. “So why were you so bent out of shape?” Applejack followed. Rainbow Dash sighed, then spoke.

“I agree, you shouldn't have gotten so mad. I even laughed when you did, knowing that Granny liked it.” Rainbow Dash felt Applejack look at her, the former’s eyes remained focussed on the path ahead. “So?” Applejack said.

“So I started to wonder why you got so mad.” She paused and Applejack didn’t interrupt, it was time.

“Whenever I did something annoying, I used to find it so unbelievably funny.” Applejack snorted but Rainbow Dash put up a hand to hush her.

“But you’re different,” she continued. “I started to care when you got mad at me, I stopped wanting to annoy you,” she paused. Silence filled the air for a few minutes.

“But I’m still naturally annoying, so–” she laughed.

“Dash, You’re–” Rainbow Dash whipped her head up to meet Applejack’s eyes. Rather than looking away after shutting her up again, she kept eye contact.

“So every time I did something stupid, or fell short on something, it drove me insane,” she smiled and looked away again to cover up how bad it was in reality. She felt see-through and she did not like it at all.

“For a bit, I tried to chalk it up to the fact that I was being hard on myself and I’m actually awesome at being a girlfriend…Denial, you could call it.” Her smile fell. “But when you got so mad that day, it proved me wrong.”

“How?” Applejack asked quietly. Rainbow Dash looked up again, Applejack found that her expression was odd. Almost like both angry and on the verge of tears, piercing magenta eyes, parted lips. It was a weird look for her. A different one.

“Because you were clearly fed up with me! I knew you were going to dump me, I just beat you to it!” She looked away again, trying to focus on the trees dancing swiftly in the wind, the petals drifting through the air as they fell to the ground.

Rainbow Dash’s hands were clenched tightly together, in front of her. The air stayed quiet except for the swish and pad of each slow step on the vivid, green grass.

“You little overthinker.” Applejack said softly, mostly to herself. Rainbow Dash said nothing. So what if I am? She thought.

After a few moments of silence, Rainbow Dash flinched as a warm, rough hand snaked its way around her arm and gently pulled her to the side, into an unexpected hug. Rainbow Dash was confused. Being in Applejack’s arms felt just as warm and comfortable as before though.

“I didn’t know you were serious…” Applejack said. Rainbow Dash squirmed out of the hug to meet her eyes.

“What?” She piped up. “I hadn’t a clue, that you were serious that night…” Rainbow Dash stayed quiet for a second to try and figure out what she meant. Serious about what? What part?

“What?” She said again, Applejack couldn’t help but laugh incredulously before responding.

“God dammit, Dash,” Applejack shook her head. Rainbow Dash started to smile a little bit. “I didn’t think you were at all serious when you said you felt like that.” Rainbow Dash frowned.

“Oh,” she took note of the fact that they were quite close together before asking why. Applejack sighed but she was still smiling, it was as if they were dating again until Applejack let go of her.

“I thought you were findin’ a reason to be mad at me because I had been mad at you… and then I was shocked when you dumped me.”

“I didn’t dump–”

“Broke up with me… I was so angry, that I guess I didn’t think about it enough.”

Applejack’s words stung Rainbow Dash, her face twisted to an expression of discomfort. The two weren’t looking at each other though. It stung even more that she could understand why her ex would think that of her though. It made annoying sense. Rainbow Dash’s brain threatened to repeat the spiral that caused everything, it was really her fault. Applejack looked at her, earning a quick glance. Rainbow Dash listened as she kept talking.

“But I should’ve,” she said. Rainbow Dash glanced at her again before giving up and keeping eye contact.

“Should’ve?” Her voice was quiet.

“I should’ve thought about it more and helped you. Rather than been mad, it was so stupid.” Rainbow Dash smiled. It felt good that she wasn’t the only one who thought it was stupid, rewarding.

“I know,” Applejack smiled. “I’m sorry,” she sighed, Rainbow Dash nodded. They were circling back towards the farm house.

“I’m also sorry,” she replied, both smiles got wider but it soon turned awkward. Was everything okay? Was it fixed? Could they be together again? When would their anniversary be, July 9th or June 2nd?

Before she could think more, Rainbow Dash firmly took hold of Applejack's hand, forgetting to breathe. She looked away as an inevitable blush bloomed on her face. She heard Applejack laugh but continued to look at the trees.

“Look where you’re goin’,” Rainbow Dash shook her head silently. Applejack readjusted her hand and Rainbow Dash was scared she was going to let go. She didn’t, but they were hand in hand properly.

Silently, they walked for a while. It felt nice, familiar despite all the questions Rainbow Dash fought the urge to ask.

Eventually, the pair passed the last– or first row of trees in the orchard, depending on the direction. Rainbow Dash smiled as she thought of their first Christmas, despite it being summer.

It was hard to hold your hand when we were both wearing mittens. It was hard to do anything with mittens. They were such a pain but you made me wear them because If I didn’t, Apple Bloom would think she didn’t need to wear them either. We were wrapping Christmas lights around the front row of trees by your house. I was the one who went to the store to buy them. You were very specific, you even texted it to me so I wouldn’t forget.

Make sure you get the white ones. I was going to get the white ones, but I was also going to get the coloured ones. Duh. Rainbow Dash, how could I not get rainbow coloured lights?

We finally finished wrapping them, Apple Bloom had gone inside a bit ago, the moment she did. I yanked off those stupid mittens. I may or may not have used the rainbow lights on the middle tree without you knowing, They were the same shape as the white ones so when they weren’t turned on, you couldn’t tell the difference. I insisted on being the one to plug them in so I could see your reaction. I was expecting a glare, you always had your little way of doing things and you never liked to change them. Every single year at Sweet Apple Acres, the front row of trees were wrapped in white lights.

As soon as I plugged them in, I looked at you, it wasn’t the glare I had thought it would be. You were smiling, light casted against your skin too. I smiled with you.

“I like it,” you said. I made my way back to you.

“Do you?” I replied. You nodded.

“Good,” I said as I went to hug you. We kissed after that too.

As they approached Applejack’s house, Rainbow Dash was quite unsure where to go from there. They were hand in hand, were they a couple? Friends? She stared off into space thinking about it. July 9th…? Or June 2nd?

Before she could think more, lips. Lips. Lips. On hers, Applejack was kissing her.

“Mmph?” She exclaimed. Applejack laughed against her. It felt so good. It didn’t compare to any of the kisses that she had had in the last two weeks.

The kiss lasted a moment, a good moment. Probably the best moment Rainbow Dash had had since the last time she kissed Applejack. After it broke, Applejack was blushing. So was she.

“Missed that,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Me too… you had Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash shook her head.

“Fluttershy isn’t you,” they hugged.

“I had nothin’,” Applejack said. Rainbow Dash ignored it.

“July 9th? Or June 2nd?” She asked.

Applejack laughed.

We were hugging in front of your house, I had missed you so much. Distracting myself never worked, nothing compared, everything was you. Brutal. It had been four months without you. I was quite deprived. Moment after moment, never leaving my head. They were key moments, fun moments in my life but as much as I wanted them to go away and leave me alone, they wouldn’t. I guessed that was the way I loved you.

Author's Note

I really struggled with dialogue grammar on this one, I hope it was easy to read even though it is probably wrong. This is just practice for me anyways. Hopefully I'll learn proper grammar when I start high school next week.

Thank you so so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed this fanfiction. I worked very very hard on it and this is the first longer project I have ever finished so I'm quite proud of myself. :)

If you want, it'd be greatly appreciated if you could provide some writing tips or just any feedback that you've noticed over the course of reading this story. I'd also like to know if you liked it or not... Be honest!

Thanks again and if you like my writing style, you can follow me so you can read any other stories I post in the future. They can only get better from here, right?
<3

Timeline

Hello! This story makes it quite difficult to see the clear timeline with all the flashbacks and stuff. To top it all off, here's the one I used to help keep the story organized!

July 9th 2020: Appledash gets together.
July 23rd 2020: Jazz festival
Early August 2020: Wind memory – first kiss
Early September 2020: Apple Picking Music Mishap
October 2020: Halloween Memories (aliens and astronauts)
December 2020: Christmas lights memory
February 2021: Valentines Day
March 2021: Blossoming Apple tree walk
May 2021: Rain Beach Ice Cream
July 4th 2021: Fireworks
July 9th 2021: First anniversary.
Early September 2021: Rainbow Dash sprains her ankle
Early September 2021: Rainbow Dash misses the beginning of the fall soccer season
October 2021: Halloween Memories (Ivy and Harley)
Late November 2021: Soccer finale memory
Mid December 2021: Dash Can’t Sleep
Late January 2022: The Fight
February 4th 2022: The Appledash break up
Mid May 2022: Flutterdash gets together
Very Late May (31st) 2022: Flutterdash soccer season
June 1st 2022: Picnic & Flutterdash breakup
June 2nd 2022: Appledash gets back together