Chapters The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
“Let me make sure I heard you right dearie. You want one dozen vanilla cupcakes, one dozen chocolate cupcakes, and three platters of assorted cookies?” Mrs. Cake read over her notepad as she leaned over the counter in Sugarcube Corner.
Starlight nodded in appreciation, knowing that taking a big order this late in the day might inconvenience the bakers. “And you can go ahead and put all of that on Twilight’s tab.”
“Alrighty then, will do. This might take a bit, but you’re free to sit in the dining area in the meantime if you like.” The older mare disappeared into the kitchen as Starlight returned to the table that Trixie had saved for them.
The blue mare stretched her forehooves across the table and cast a sullen gaze upon the lunchbox.
Starlight scoffed and rubbed her temple. “And why did you bring the lunchbox? We’re literally in a bakery. You can get something sweet and fresh.”
“It’s not the same. It’s not even about the pastry anymore, it's about the principle.” Trixie whined, pawing at the box with a limp hoof.
Starlight moaned as she propped her head up with a hoof. “Fine, go ahead. Eat the doom twinkie and get food poisoning.”
While Trixie perked up and plucked the dessert from the lunchbox, Starlight studied its other contents. She pushed the open bag of chips to the side and pulled out the sheet of paper. The edges were rigid and uneven as if they were plucked from a notebook. Five simple words in black ink were written in the center, they read: A Journey You Must Make .
Starlight considered asking for Trixie’s input, but she soon found herself fighting off the urge to gag as Trixie shoved the entire twinkie into her mouth. The blue unicorn smiled triumphantly as she chewed. And then she began to choke.
Starlight wasn’t really sure of what to do. On one hoof, karmic justice like this was rarely this timely or on point. On the other hoof, her best friend was quite literally choking. Trixie lurched forward and let out a grotesque cough, prompting Starlight to rush to her side. A firm slap to the back managed to dislodge the object that was clogging the magician’s throat. A soft clink was emitted by the key as it hit the table, leaving two mares extremely confused.
“That was a terrible twinkie.” Trixie stuck out her tongue and wagged it around as if that would rid her senses of the rusty key’s taste.
Starlight could only look on in shock as Mr. Cake made his way over to the table. The co-owner of Sugarcube Corner was known for having a nervousness that was comparable to Twilight. A trait that could be understood when having to oversee a successful business, two rambunctious foals, and a Pinkie Pie. He placed a comforting hoof on Trixie’s withers and offered a glass of water.
“She’ll be fine Mr. Cake. She just had to learn a valuable lesson about eating desserts from mysterious lunchboxes.” Starlight pointed to the aforementioned lunchbox to contextualize her point. She wasn’t expecting Mr. Cake to gasp as he locked eyes with the metal container. What followed was even more unexpected.
Mr. Cake cleared his throat and broadened his stance. He put on his best announcer voice as he called out, “Fillies and colts your attention please! We will now transport you to a world of steam and steel!”
Without warning, Mrs. Cake bustled out of the kitchen and mimicked the cadence and tone of her husband, “To a world where the greatest magic presides in the minds and thoughts of young promising ponies!”
Mr. Cake picked up without hesitation, “Where one pony stands against the odds to make a name for himself!”
“He’s craftier!” Shouted the wife.
“And he’s smarter!” Responded the husband.
The couple had made their way to the center of the nearly empty dining room and pressed their hooves together. They recited the final lines in tandem with vigor, “And he works much, much harder! The greatest inventor around! Auto Maton, pony of Steamquestria!”
The couple began giggling despite needing to catch their breaths after their impromptu performance. Starlight wasn’t certain if she should clap or flee. She decided to do neither and simply asked a clarifying question, “Um…what?”
The Cakes weren't discouraged by Starlight’s lackluster response. They made their way over to the table as Mr. Cake pointed at the lunchbox, Mrs. Cake squealed in excitement at the sight of it.
“Oh dear, you two aren’t fans of the Amazing Auto Maton?” After seeing the younger ponies’ continued confusion, Mrs. Cake explained further. She pointed to the cartoon on the box, “This here is Auto Maton. He was a very popular character a few years ago. He had comics, books, and even a movie.”
Starlight took a moment to actually study the character. He was a brown earth pony with a silver mane. Goggles adorned his head, and he wore a vest full of tools and gears. He rode atop a hovercraft, flying over a city emitting dirt and smog.
Mrs. Cake smiled fondly. “He also had the radio show, which we would listen to all the time when Pinkie first came to Ponyville. She adored the character. We would recite the opening announcement when the broadcast aired and drink hot cocoa as we listened.” Mrs. Cake’s eyes seemed shinier than before, “It was one of the first things that we really bonded with her about.”
Starlight wasn’t sure what to say, so she went with what she knew. “Well, we came across this lunchbox… um recently. And we’re not sure who it belongs to. But we did find this weird note.”
The couple overlooked the note placed in front of them. Starlight didn’t know what to expect from them, but it was worth a shot. Mrs. Cake lifted the sheet in her hooves and pulled it close to her eyes, then she lifted it to the ceiling. She gasped as the fluorescent light shined on the paper. “Take a look at this ginger snap.”
Mr. Cake joined his wife in earnest and looked up in awe. “Wow! It looks like you girls may have an Auto Maton level quest ahead of you.”
“I think I know exactly what you girls need. Be back in a jiff.” Mrs. Cake charged upstairs as Mr. Cake showed the paper to Starlight. It looked exactly the same as before.
“Auto Maton wasn’t only an inventor. He was a bit of an explorer, superhero, and detective wrapped into one. Foals could buy all types of gadgets straight from the show and use them to decode messages in and out of the series.” He explained.
Mrs. Cake returned with a pen in her muzzle. An image of Auto Maton holding a magnifying glass was wrapped around it. Mr. Cake placed the paper in front of his wife, and the trio of ponies watched her scribble around the existing message.
Words began to appear within the black scribbles, revealing a longer message. Mrs. Cake flashed a proud grin and clicked the pen. “A message in invisible ink. Only decipherable to those in possession of an Auto Maton patented pen.”
Mr. Cake gave his wife a quick kiss on the cheek before sliding the paper toward Trixie and Starlight. There was significantly more on the paper than originally believed. This was certainly an interesting development.
It was only fair that Starlight offered the quest to the Cakes since they were the ones that solved the mystery. She was somewhat relieved when they declined her offer, stating that their busy schedule prevented them from going on an off-the-rails adventure. They did concede that they would appreciate hearing all about it though and set the mares on their way with the completed order. Trixie absent-mindedly munched on a cookie while Starlight reread the message:
Where moss and acid meet In a place filled with peat A grand treasure is hidden Where solar drops have fallen There a gift of bits ready to take But A Journey You Must Make And yet there is more If you are willing to explore Below is a counter to the night A star that will ignite Good Luck Little Pony!
Remnants of cookie flew out of Trixie’s mouth as she spoke, “Now this is something befitting of Trixie’s time and effort. I’d much rather unearth a bunch of bits than help Twilight construct an underwater gymnasium.”
Starlight sighed as she steadied the boxes of cupcakes balancing on her back. “Trixie you know that it’s a lab being built and not a gym. And Twilight wants to get this whole mess situated as quickly as possible. She’s probably ready to put that thing back in the ground by now.”
The pair entered the castle where the faint sound of voices and laughter echoed throughout the otherwise vacant corridors. They had stumbled into a wildly different atmosphere when they returned to the room that was temporarily housing the time capsule. A movie projector at the center of the room displayed a video while Twilight, Spike, and the volunteers laid about on their own pillows and blankets. The capsule was being used as an improvised screen while the smell of fresh popcorn wafted through the air. Starlight almost didn’t want to disturb the comfortable scene, but she really needed to speak with Twilight.
“Hey everycreature, we’re back! And we brought cookies and cupcakes!” She shouted, hastily placing down the boxes of pastries and pushing Trixie aside to evade the oncoming stampede. They stood to the side and watched Twilight apprehend two chocolate cupcakes for herself and Spike. The little dragon uttered a, “thank you,” before rushing to return to his seat, Twilight watched him go before joining Starlight and Trixie.
“Thanks, girls. I owe you one.”
Trixie looked at her surroundings skeptically. “And whatever happened to getting this project done quickly and safely? To think, using the items meant for future Ponyvillians as quick entertainment. For shame Princess Twilight, for shame.”
Twilight grew flustered at Trixie’s accusation. “W-well some stuff came up. I feel like I need to plan this whole thing out a little better. We have no idea what we’re dealing with here. I mean, we found an entire crossbow and a set of arrows just sitting in a pile! Why would somepony even do that! And clearly, somepony in the past thought it would be a good idea to throw some very suggestive posters and magazines in there too! And the students are on their break, and they deserve some fun. This could be a great learning experience, once we iron out the kinks. Just look.” She directed the mares’ attention to the video playing behind them.
The film reel detailed a day in the life of the average pony in Ponyville, although it was apparent that the video was more of an introduction than a point-of-view. The ponies present behaved amicably, smiling and waving to the camera. They spoke about their lives and answered questions about what the future might look like. The filmmaker, a young stallion named Steadicam, could be heard behind the camera asking questions and talking to the host. Twilight didn’t recognize Steadicam from the brief glimpses that she saw of him, but she did know the host. The familiar voice of Pinkie Pie blared out of the speakers as she reappeared in front of the camera.
She held a microphone that may or may not have been picking up audio. She still wore the same pair of bulky glasses that obscured her face, and she donned a mustache that she rubbed her hoof across.
“Wowie, those dance moves sure were wonderific Cheerlie! The ponies of the future will be totally impressed by your tubular choreography.”
The camera zoomed out as Pinkie skipped away from Cheerlie. She hummed a quick tune into the mic while searching for her next segment.
“Now let’s see what else this wonderful town of Ponyville has to offer us dear future ponies. Let’s se- Ohmygoodnesslookatthat!”
A scuffle could be heard as Pinkie slammed into the camera and swung it in the opposite direction. Steadicam could be heard in a low mumble, “Hey watch the camera Pinks this is fine equip- oh woah!”
The camera zoomed in on the sky where a trail of rainbows rapidly appeared. The sound of galloping overtook the audio as the duo made their way to a small clearing.
The rainbow trail formed a figure eight in the sky and then descended towards the ground. Rainbow Dash stumbled a bit upon landing, an expression of panic crossed her face before she steadied herself. She looked up at the camera and gave her best attempt at her signature cocky grin.
In the present day, the watchers of the clip were becoming more animated. Whispers regarding, ‘Professor Dash,’ were spoken among the many miniature groups that littered the floor. Twilight knew for a fact that this was Professor Dash a few years ago. She beckoned Starlight and Trixie to join her and Spike’s spot as she watched her friend’s interaction. Rarity wasn’t kidding about Dash having a ‘unique,’ manecut. Dash’s hair was even shorter than its current state and it was wilder and shaggier than ever. She wore black lightning bolt earrings in her ears. And she seemed to have taken the time to circle her eyes with black eyeliner.
Pinkie crawled over to the pegasus as she held a paper bag to her muzzle. She might have been trying to speak, but her words were suppressed by her hyperventilating. Rainbow Dash paid her little attention, swooping up the mic with one swift move of her wing.
“Alright folks, quiet down now. I know you’re all probably surprised to see a pony as important as myself hanging out in this little town, but don’t worry I’m just visiting a friend. I know what you’re probably thinking. Is that, The Rainbow Dash? You’ll be happy to know that yeah I am The Rainbow Dash, greatest Wonderbolt of all time and breaker of the sound barrier.”
Steadicam snorted from behind the camera. “Yeah right.”
Rainbow stepped forward with a frown. “What did you say? Are you doubting The Dash? Listen pal let’s race right here, right now!” Rainbow’s hooves stomped the ground as she put her game face on.
Steadicam took a step back. “Woah I can’t race you. I got a masterpiece to film. And I don’t even have wings, I’m a unicorn.”
Rainbow Dash backed up with a smug look on her face. She held up the mic and looked around at an imagined audience, “You hear that folks. This pony right here is too chicken to back up his words. I got other things to do anyway. Later eggheads.” Rainbow snickered as she launched herself into the air.
Steadicam groaned and muttered to himself, “If only I could have gotten footage of one of her ten billion crash landings. She’s left potholes all over the place.”
Pinkie gasped and picked up the mic. She came face-to-face with the camera showing off her massive cyan eyes. “Wasn’t that SPECTACULAR everypony. She was all woosh and zoom and blam. Then she was all, ‘I’m The Dash,’ she’s so cool. Fluttershy’s sooooo lucky to know her well. Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh! We NEED to find Fluttershy. She’s suuuuper quiet but she can talk to animals. She’s probably with Rarity right now. Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh! We NEED to find Rarity. She’s one of the most prettiest and fashionable ponies in all Equestria. We told her we’d stop by while filming the video. Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh! Do you think she’s waiting for us? Do you think she’s sitting around wondering when we’ll stop by? Do you think that she’s mad at me for making her wait and wonder when we’re stopping by? We have to go right now Cammy, there’s no time to waste.”
The camera jerked forward as Pinkie grabbed Steadicam and entered a full throttle trot through town. He desperately tried to at least capture a little bit of the town with his camera as they plowed through. The flurry of movement only stopped when Pinkie emitted yet another earth-shattering gasp. She jumped into a backflip, which would have been impressive had she not completely failed at it. But Pinkie wasn’t fazed. She bounced back up to her hooves like a bouncy ball.
She dramatically slid into a familiar stall in what seemed to be Ponyville’s marketplace. One of her forelegs wrapped around Applejack’s neck as she sang out, “Applejack~ Is back~.”
Applejack didn’t just look unamused, she looked a little angry.
Twilight noticed that Applejack was lacking her signature hat and her mane was done up in two pigtails tied with the same red bands that she used currently. Aside from looking more than a little upset, she looked tired. Dark bags formed under her eyes, and her countenance lacked the subtle warmth that Twilight associated with her presence. Twilight couldn’t help but feel a pit form in her stomach in anticipation of some unknown disaster.
Pinkie’s joy was unwavering. She held up the mic to Applejack’s muzzle and offered her the opportunity to introduce herself. The young farmer only scowled at the apprentice baker, then scowled at the camera.
Pinkie pouted. “You really don’t want to be a part of the video Applejack?”
“Pinkie! I done told you that I ain’t got the time for this dumb video or nothin’!” Applejack snarled.
The pink filly continued to smile despite being discouraged by Applejack’s lack of excitement. “But what about the ponies of the future Applejack?” She whimpered.
Applejack scoffed. “The ponies of the future. The ponies of the future! I don’t care about no ponies of the future! Why would I waste my time on a bunch of ponies that don’t even exist yet? I’ll tell you what, I do got a message for them future dwellers. If you’re watchin’ this durin’ any time period, I just want you to know that you can ea-”
Twilight took the liberty of pausing the recording, much to the irritation of the enthralled audience. She clapped her hooves together. “Alright everycreature! It's been a long day and there’s still plenty of footage to watch and work to be done. So why don’t we turn in, rest up, and start up again tomorrow.”
She watched as the students collected their things and slowly sifted out of the room. Only Starlight, Trixie, and Twilight remained.
Starlight picked up one of the few remaining cookies and watched Twilight search the room for any trash. “Quite the sudden end to the film there Twilight. Are you alright?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m good Starlight. Thank you for asking. After what I’ve seen today there are so many new questions that I want to ask my friends. I just feel like maybe I should just ask them when they get back instead of watching it all play out on screen.” She pawed at the ground as her thoughts rattled around in her head.
Trixie plopped onto her haunches and blew a raspberry. “You really can’t be away from them for too long, can you Sparkle?”
Starlight was relieved to see a soft smile return to Twilight’s face as she mulled over Trixie’s words. “Well Trixie, when you spend so much time going on wacky adventures with ponies, you start to develop an affinity for them.”
“Speaking of wacky adventures,” Starlight saw this as an opportunity to inform Twilight of their new obligations, “Trixie and I have had… uh something come up. An errand that we will need to take care of over the next day or so.”
Twilight brought her hoof up to her mouth to cover a yawn, “Sure thing Starlight. I am not going to pretend that I have enough restraint to not obsess over the treasure trove of history we found today. This might take a bit longer than originally hoped. Let me know if you need any help with your errand. I’m going to head to bed.”
The unicorns watched Twilight go, listening to her steps as they grew fainter and fainter.
“Trixie understands why you were so vague about the quest since Princess Sparkle might have tried to convince us to use our bits to build a laboratory at the center of the earth. However, maybe she could help us find some sort of spell that can perhaps… help us locate the treasure.”
“No Trixie, we won’t be using spells to complete this quest. We’re doing this Auto Maton style!” Starlight took a battle stance and held up a defiant hoof.
“Trixie hopes that this isn’t the result of what that rainbow one said the other day.”
“What. No way. I just feel like going magicless for this one honors the spirit of the adventure. We just have to be a little bit craftier, and smarter, and work much, much harder.”
An awkward silence enveloped the two ponies as the faint chirp of crickets could be heard from outside. Trixie let out a melodramatic sigh as she collapsed onto the ground.
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
Goats & Tigers & Snakes, oh my!
“Trixie has no intention of spelunking around in some nasty swamp.” Various books fell to the floor as Trixie threw up her hooves in exasperation.
Starlight rolled her eyes as she left her seat to tidy up their workspace, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “I thought that a quest to unearth some hidden bits was more, ‘befitting,’ of Trixie’s time?”
“Well mucking around in a swamp certainly isn’t ideal.” Starlight knew that Trixie’s apprehension was valid, but at least one member of this duo had to be optimistic. So, Starlight took on the burden of pretending that she had no issue with their impending adventure.
The pair had spent the first half of their day rereading Cloudy Whistles’ message, primarily focusing on the first two lines.
Where moss and acid meet In a place filled with peat
It didn’t take long for them to infer that Cloudy was describing some sort of swamp, so they had spent the last few hours in the library combing through maps of the greater area of Ponyville. Starlight had hoped that finding a swamp to study would be an easy task, but when one’s little town sits next to the Everfree Forest singling out a single swamp became a tall order.
Starlight rubbed her forehead as she flipped yet another page in yet another encyclopedia, “How could there be so many acid swamps in such a small geographical area?”
Having given up on studying any more maps, Trixie stared aimlessly across the room. “Here’s an idea, why don’t we just give up and get a snack.” Starlight promptly shot the magician a glare and the other mare readjusted her sitting position.
Starlight sighed as she crossed her front hooves. “I’m surprised to see that you still have an appetite after you spent all of yesterday sick due to that doom twinkie.” She leaned in as she pulled a sly expression. “And let me remind you again that I warned you about eating it.”
Now it was Trixie’s turn to rub her forehead. “You should just be happy to see that Trixie survived the whole ordeal and that she is taking the time to entertain this little conspiracy!” Trixie picked up the deciphered note with her magic and tilted her head from side to side. “Starlight? Do you have any guesses about what this might mean?”
She placed the paper down between them and pointed to the third and fourth lines.
A grand treasure is hidden Where solar drops have fallen
Starlight looked at them and shrugged. “I was thinking that it might just rain a lot even when it’s sunny. But lots of swamps get a lot of rain.”
Trixie tried to process her thoughts as she rolled her hoof. “Well, the message also mentions the night, so maybe it’s a sun and moon thing.”
“A sun and moon thing?” Starlight mumbled as her eyes gradually grew wide. She slammed the encyclopedia shut and grabbed Trixie’s shoulders. “Trixie you genius!”
Trixie brought a hoof to her chest in a moment of genuine surprise before her characteristic pride set back in. “Well of course I am! Uh… what did Trixie do exactly?”
“You solved the riddle.” Starlight pulled out a map of the Everfree.
Trixie tried to get a look at what Starlight was drawing. The other mare was drawing a circle on a specific swamp. “Wait, what? Trixie is confused. Explain Trixie’s brilliance to her this instant.”
Starlight faced Trixie with an ecstatic smile. “Look here. This is the closest swamp to the Castle of the Two Sisters. It belonged to Celestia and Luna. You know the sun and moon ponified.”
Trixie nodded along despite still feeling confused, “Okay… Trixie is following.”
“This might be a wild guess, but the time capsule is from a few years ago. Back when Luna and Nightmare Moon were just myths and stories. Is it possible that Cloudy Whistles knew about Luna’s return?”
Trixie raised an eyebrow as she thought about her friend's words, but Starlight wasn’t done. “Think about the ninth line, ‘Below is a counter to the night,’ what if this is some sort of weapon or even a plan B to stop Nightmare Moon? The solar drop line might reference Celestia falling to or getting defeated by Nightmare.”
Trixie smiled for her friend’s sake and nodded again. “That is certainly feasible. But if there was a pony that hypothetically built a weapon to destroy an alicorn, then buried it underground, and left it to be discovered by some unsuspecting creatures in the future. Don’t you think that Twilight should be aware of it?”
Starlight scoffed as she rolled up the map. “Trixie we’re still not sure of what we’re doing, it’s best not to bother Twilight with this right now. Anyways, if Twilight helped us find the treasure, we’d probably have to give her a share.”
Starlight took Trixie’s silence as a sufficient answer as she stomped her front hooves in determination. “Alright! Let's put our galoshes on and get to mucking!”
“STARLIGHT HELP ME!” Trixie screamed as she struggled to untangle herself from the thorns that trapped her. She wasn’t exactly sure of how she descended into the pit, but she did know that the chimera following them would find her much easier to apprehend while stationary. Pain followed every movement as the thorns stuck into her skin. She heard the pounding of hooves approach as Starlight’s face appeared above her.
“Trixie, what are you doing? We have to move!” Starlight could see the chimera growing closer.
“Well, I am waiting for my friend, Starlight Glimmer, to help me!”
“Why! You’re a unicorn just teleport out Trixie!” Trixie’s mouth formed an ‘oh’ as she powered up her horn. She reappeared next to Starlight in a blue flash and got to work straightening out her mane.
“I tell you Starlight, adrenaline can really do things to the mind.” She chuckled as she plucked a thorn out of her flank.
Starlight was stunned, “Aren’t you an escape artist too? Shouldn’t you know how to deal with this?”
“Wel-” A deafening hiss sounded out from the distance as the chimera’s snake head protruded forward.
Starlight grabbed Trixie at the haunches and corralled her to a nearby tree. “Climb! Climb!” She watched Trixie scramble up the branches before taking one last look and ascending herself.
The chimera breathed heavily as it encircled the tree from below. Its snakehead occasionally snapped up at the mare’s hooves, while its other two heads taunted them from below. The tiger head spoke in a low growl, “Why don’t you come down? We just want to talk.”
The goat head smiled sweetly at her captives. “He’s telling the truth. I can vouch for him, we’ve known each other our whole lives.” The beastly trio cackled while continuing their prowl.
Trixie threw up her hooves, “Why are we even up here? Whatever happened to ‘just teleport!’”
Sweat beaded on Starlight’s forehead while she dug through her saddle bags. “We don’t need to do that Trixie! That was just a minor hiccup in an otherwise magicless journey. I can keep us safe. You think I really brought us into the Everfree without any protection?” Starlight let out a little ‘ah’ when she found what she was looking for, she pulled out the wooden crossbow that was buried with the time capsule. The crossbow had definitely seen some action, Starlight ran her hoof over the carving on its handle and eyed her target.
Trixie watched Starlight load an arrow into the crossbow and pulled back the string. She was completely stunned. “I thought that everything was supposed to be returned to the time capsule safely and intact. Why is Trixie having to tell everypony else the rules!”
Starlight used her shoulder to support the crossbows as she rested her head on the stock. She drew in a deep breath, “This is your last chance to back down. I don’t want to hurt you, but I will if I must.”
It was now the snake's turn to speak. It slivered up as high as it could and locked eyes with Starlight. “My, my. Isn’t this an interesting development.” Its smile caused a shiver to go down Trixie’s spine as she curled in on herself. The snake opened its mouth and ran its serpentine tongue over its fangs, “I hope you know how to use that thing. We have three heads after all. You don’t seem to have too many arrows on you. Three perfect shots at the least. Perhaps you’ll aim for the heart? Or is it hearts? Do you even know what your target is?”
Starlight gulped and readjusted her grip on the crossbow. She glanced at Trixie and took another deep breath. “Trixie. Pinkie Promise me that you won’t tell Fluttershy about what I’m about to do.”
Trixie placed her hooves over her eyes as Starlight mumbled out, “Celestia rest your souls.”
“Did you just say Fluttershy?” The tiger head looked up at Starlight then eyed the goat head suspiciously.
Starlight relaxed and looked at Trixie. The magician found her words first, “Yes, yes she did. Do you… know her?”
The three heads exchanged glances before the goat head spoke up, “Yes we know Fluttershy. She took care of us when we were sick a couple weeks ago. We owe her our lives.”
Starlight regained her wits. “Oh, that's nice. We’re friends with her, so we’ll make sure to tell her thank you on your behalf.”
Trixie rolled her eyes and pouted a bit. She whispered to Starlight, “Well you can call her your friend, but I’d say that she’s more of an acquaintance to Trixie.”
“Friends you say.” The tiger scratched his head with his paw. Whispering could be heard as the three heads came together in a huddle.
The tiger cleared his throat and spoke in a significantly less predatory tone than moments prior, “Now that we know that you are friends of Fluttershy. We have decided that we will not rip you apart and devour you.”
The mares could only look on in disbelief as the goat continued, “We owe her one for helping us. Consider this a favor.”
The beast turned its heads and trudged away. It took a moment for Starlight to register what exactly had happened. She looked down at the weapon she was gripping and let out a sigh of relief. She wrapped her hooves around Trixie’s shoulders, and the pair shared a hug in silence as their heartbeats slowed down. Starlight wiped her eyes with a hoof and sniffed. She had come so close to doing something irreversible, something that could haunt her for a lifetime.
Trixie placed a comforting hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “Don’t be upset with yourself Starlight. I'm sure that if it came down to it, you certainly would have been able to kill that beast in three shots or less.”
Strangely enough, Starlight was actually relieved to find the swamp. A quick look around showed no signs of large imminent threats. The rays from the midday sun shined through the canopy above as various critters sang a sublime chorus in ribbits and chirps. On a hillside not far from the swamp, sat the dilapidated Castle of The Two Sisters, a monument to a bygone era. The two ponies stood on solid ground as they overlooked the ‘water.’ At the end of the day, this swamp was a possession of the Everfree Forest, it only made sense that the wetland encapsulated the Everfree’s wild and dangerous spirit. Gas bubbles boiled to the water’s surface and burst in an acidic splash. The ponies backed away from the banks as they considered their next move.
“Well, we’ve finally made it to the nasty old swamp. What now?”
Starlight checked over her map one last time before placing it back in her saddle bags. “Well, I guess we have to think intuitively. Assuming that Cloudy wasn’t so cruel, or insane, as to bury the treasure underwater, we should check the dry patches for clues.”
The two made a point to always remain in each other’s eyesight but reasoned that splitting up would speed up the process. They tread carefully as they checked trees and overturned stones. They watched the sun gradually make its way across the sky as they worked. Despite all of their efforts, both of them knew that they had no idea what they were doing here.
Trixie sighed and finally allowed herself to sit down, risking the chance of sitting on something unsavory as she leaned against a tree. Starlight threw the rock that she was holding to the side and made her way over to Trixie. She slumped down next to her and rested her head on the blue mare’s shoulder.
Trixie’s eyes watched the fragments of sky peeking through the leaves and let out a low whistle. “You know, this would be a great time for a very powerful unicorn to search the area quickly with… I don’t know. Maybe an x-ray spell?”
Starlight’s ear twitched as a bird flew overhead. She spoke quietly, “That would be a reasonable solution, wouldn’t it? But it's not about the practicality, it’s about the principle.”
The tranquility of the swamp was briefly disrupted as the sound of two mares laughing rang out. It seems that they held a mutual understanding of the absurdity of their situations. They had taken it upon themselves to risk their lives over a bad poem stuffed into a twinkie. Trixie let out one last snort before standing up and taking in her surroundings. She put on her best showmare smile for Starlight and swallowed her frustrations. “I guess if we’re doing this for the principle, we ought to go all out.”
She turned to the greater swamp and bellowed out, “Does anycreature here know where the Great and Powerful Trixie can find some buried treasure!”
The showmare’s plea was answered by a swarm of frightened birds taking flight. Starlight giggled as her friend turned around and shrugged playfully. There was a temporary rise in chirps and ribbits as creatures awoke to the sound of talking. Trixie helped Starlight to her hooves. “Thanks Trixie, I really needed that. It seems like we struck out, so I think I owe you a snack.”
If Starlight learned anything today, it was that hayburgers tasted heavenly after a life-threatening adventure. She was already onto her second #12 with no pickles and saw no sign of slowing down. Trixie sucked up her soda as if it were the sweetest drink known to ponykind. Not much conversation was had between the two mares regarding their day’s events, but it seemed that the two were at an unspoken agreement that the great time capsule mystery was probably better left buried away. Starlight greedily devoured the remainder of her hay fries as she spotted a familiar gray mare ordering at the cash register.
Starlight raised up a hoof and called out to the older Pie in town, “Hey Maud!”
The duo watched as Maud casually turned around and solemnly waved to Starlight, she trotted over to their table after receiving her order and sat down. Cyan eyes examined the two ponies before them. Maud’s voice was as somber and serious as ever, “Wow, you two look like you’ve been mucking around in a swamp.”
It was a fair, if not oddly on the nose, deduction on Maud’s part. Neither Starlight nor Trixie had taken any measure to clean themselves up before grabbing dinner. Their manes and coats were dirty and in a disarray, and they smelled a little more swampy than usual. The pair knew Maud well enough to recognize that she meant no harm or judgment with her statement, so they felt no shame or hurt. If anything, they became more animated as they regaled the rock farmer with the story of today’s adventure.
Maud read over the original message from Cloudy Whistles as she finished off her onion rings. The two mares waited for her comment on the ambiguity of the riddle; she looked up at them with a dull expression. “Why did you two go to a swamp?”
Starlight looked at Maud with a quizzical look. “Because peat, moss, and acid all sound like swamp things?”
Maud placed her hoof on the message, “Really. Peat, moss, and acid sound more like bog things to me.”
Trixie struggled to understand why Starlight and Maud were staring so hard at each other. She placed both of her forehooves on the table. “Bogs! Swamps! Trixie sees no difference. They’re both nasty and gross.”
Maud looked to Trixie and nodded slowly. “You’re right Trixie. Both bogs and swamps can be nasty and gross. But they are different, I was required to take an ecology course in order to get my rocktorate.” She blinked. “It was boring.”
Starlight was beginning to feel itchy. She rubbed the back of her neck. “And what exactly are the differences, Maud?”
Maud seemed to consider her answer for an eternity. “Swamps usually form from the overflow of large bodies of water. Because of this, they can have saltwater, freshwater, or a mix of both. They can act as a transition between land and water.”
Maud looked around before carrying on, “Bogs usually formed in depressions from acidic foundations. Therefore, acidic isn’t a special variation of a bog, but its general state. They can call it acid swamps, but acid bogs are just regular bogs. Although I do think that the word acid is being thrown around with little regard to what it actually means in specific circumstances, but that's not the point. Bogs can also form in a type of moss that works well in peat. The moss colonizes the depression and creates a bog.”
Starlight could have sworn that she heard the sound of glass shattering as she mentally evaluated Maud’s words. She licked her lips. “Maud? Do you know of any bogs in the area?”
“Yes. Foggy Bottom Bogg is south of here.”
“Trixie?” Starlight asked.
Trixie placed her face into her hooves as she began rocking back and forth.
“Trixie. I need you to be strong.” Starlight pleaded.
“Please Starlight! Please! I am so tired! I can’t keep doing this!”
“Remember what you’re doing this for Trixie! The bits! Those precious bits sitting underground, waiting to be found!”
“Oh, Fine!” Trixie turned to Maud with teary eyes and took her forehooves with her own. “Maud, if you have anything more to tell us about this, please do. Trixie can’t survive another fruitless endeavor! No matter how trivial, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
Maud took another eternity to think before looking down at the paper, “Line four mentions ‘solar drops.’ I might be reaching here, but that sounds like a synonymous naming for sundew, a common plant type found in bogs.”
Starlight slammed her head against the table and groaned. “This makes so much more sense! I can’t believe I didn’t get it right.”
Maud shook her head sympathetically, “No Starlight. I don’t blame you for being confused. Based on the clunky rhyme scheme alone, I’d assume that this Cloudy Whistles is some sort of a foal instead of a mastermind.”
Starlight looked up at Maud with a grateful expression, “Well at least you drew a logical conclusion. Trixie and I literally thought that we uncovered some conspiracy put together by an organization of ponies working to defeat Nightmare Moon if Celestia and the Elements failed.”
Maud stared off into the distance at nothing in particular. “You know Starlight, there were organizations that foretold Luna’s return. Some even worshiped Nightmare Moon. I believe that organizations were working directly under Celestia herself. Ponies hiding in the shadows. Plotting. Scheming. Waiting. Pulling the strings of everypony and everything as if fate was a marionette waiting to be manipulated. They’d foalnap your loved ones and convert them into lunatics, twisting them into agents of a master plan that none of us could comprehend. They lay dormant, asleep, walking among us as friends and family. Waiting for the inevitable Day of Last Light.” Maud said plainly.
Maud wiped her mouth with a tissue before compiling all of the tables’ trash onto her tray. She got up to throw out the trash and head home for the night, but turned to say one last thing, “With that in mind Starlight, I can guarantee that this message was not written by any of those ponies.”
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
A Giant Octopus Sprawls Its Slimy Legs
“Trixie, I told you that I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Starlight made an effort to stretch out her joints as she traversed the halls of the Friendship Castle.
Trixie followed close behind. “I know, I know. But she seemed so serious about it. Maud’s one of the smartest ponies I know. Why would she lie about something like this?”
Starlight knew that it was too early in the day to feel a headache coming on, but that didn’t soften the pulsing in her skull. She looked back at Trixie with an exasperated expression. “I’m not saying that she lied about lunar cults or whatever. I’m just saying that it might be an exaggeration mixed in with a misguided belief in old conspiracy theories. I don’t know. You know that Maud and Pinkie grew up in the middle of nowhere, there must have been tons of weird celestriots and lunatics spouting nonsense about shadow governments and cosmic duels.”
Trixie bit her lip as she considered Starlight’s words. “Trixie did live on the Pie Rock Farm for a time, and I can see how the desolate atmosphere sucks all the sanity out of a normal pony… But just look at Princess Sparkle. Celestia picked her as an unsuspecting filly and groomed her into a national defense task force leader and royalty. Trixie thinks that demonstrates that Celestia has no issues pulling strings.”
Starlight rolled her eyes. “Well of course the Princess of the Sun knows how to pull strings. Artful manipulation is a fundamental skill if you want to maintain political power. Trust me, I should know.”
Trixie only grew more engaged as she drew closer to Starlight. “But to cast such responsibility upon such a young pony with little warning. No wonder she’s like that!”
“Who’s like what?” Twilight asked, taking a sip of her coffee as she studied the two ponies before her. An easy and comforting smile was revealed once the mug lowered from her lips. She giggled to herself as Trixie and Starlight scrambled to answer. It was nice to see them awake and spirited this early in the morning.
Seeing that a response was not coming, she ended their long-suffering by lifting a hoof to silence them. “I’m just kidding girls, I was just being a little nosy. I’m happy to see you both. I didn't see either of you come in last night. How is your mystery errand going well?”
Twilight’s smile was genuine and inviting, but Starlight wouldn’t fall for it. She knew that the purple alicorn was curious by nature and that her and Trixie’s suspicious behavior as of late would only facilitate greater interest. Twilight took another sip of her coffee as she waited for a response; her eyes loomed over the rim of the mug analyzing every movement.
Starlight tried and failed to act casually. “Well… we went out and walked around and got some work done. But we’re not done… we still have stuff to do.” Starlight cast a side-eye to Trixie, who took this as her signal to nod aggressively.
Twilight eyed each of them silently before taking one final sip of her coffee, “Well, that sounds engaging. I’m having everycreature take a break today, so the sorting project is on hold. This will give me some time to do more research, which is great because Fluttershy’s coming back today. I can ask her about the process of putting together the time capsule and about coming to Ponyville. I’m really curious about what it must have been like, since she’s so shy and all. I mean, can you imagine her first interaction with Pinkie? Even I was a little jarred when I first met her, I can only imagine th-”
The sound of Trixie sighing and slumping to the floor seemed to snap Twilight out of her verbal deluge. A faint blush colored her cheeks as she looked in no particular direction, “Anyways, I’m going to let Fluttershy settle back in at the cottage, then hopefully get her to come back to the castle with me. If you two need any help or if you need to tell me anything, I’ll be around.”
Starlight mentally celebrated the end of the interrogation, “Sure thing Twilight. Trixie, we should get going.” Trixie groaned as she stood back up and the two began trotting away.
A sudden interjection from Twilight froze them in place, “You know, the other day I realized that the crossbow that was in the time capsule is missing. Obviously, I’m really worried about where it is since it’s a very dangerous weapon. Neither of you would happen to know where it is, would you?”
Starlight paused to think before turning around, she smiled apologetically. “Oh, my bad! You know, I saw it and I thought about how dangerous it was. I would hate for a student to hurt themselves with it, so I locked it up in my office.” Trixie nodded aggressively as Starlight began to sweat.
Twilight brushed down some of her mane with a hoof, “Great! Thanks for being so responsible Starlight! Something like that should only be wielded by somepony willing to live with the potential consequences of such a destructive item. I appreciate you taking the initiative to protect yourself and others.” Twilight walked away after waving goodbye.
Starlight sighed in relief and began walking again. Trixie trotted at her side and tried not to feel sick, as she muttered to herself. “Why does she always have to sound like she’s filming a cheesy PSA.”
Sunlight hit the crossbow’s metal stirrup just right, producing a glint of light as Starlight cavalierly carried it over her shoulder. The purple unicorn traversed Froggy Bottom Bogg with an easy-going saunter. Any creature that might have been watching from the shadows was scared off by Starlight’s piercing scowl. She felt significantly more confident after surviving her journey in the swamp. Now, she knew that she was ready to face anything, even without her magic.
She and Trixie carried packs with shovels, food, water, and bandages. She could just see the look on Rainbow’s face when they showed her the treasure chest full of bits. The pegasus would probably ask where the hay all of it came from and Starlight would tell her that all of it came from the bravery and ingenuity of a mare capable of surviving even without her magic. Rainbow Dash could bring up Starlight’s excessive magic use again as soon as she managed to complete a quest without her wings. A cocky grin began to replace Starlight’s features as she mentally rehearsed all of the possible comebacks.
Trixie shielded her eyes to avoid being blinded by the crossbow’s reflective shine. “You sure seem to be getting comfortable toting around an item that doesn’t belong to you, Glimmer. May I remind you that, that is the property of the time capsule.”
Starlight removed the weapon from her shoulder and presented it to Trixie, “Well actually, according to the carvings on ole bowy here, it’s... ‘Property of the LDS.’”
Trixie rolled her eyes and walked ahead, “First FF, now LDS. Here’s an acronym, why don’t we find this treasure and GTBO of this nasty swamp!”
“Actually, it's a bog. They’re very different things.”
Trixie's face grew red as she turned to face Starlight. Any rebuttal that she had was cut off by an excited gasp from her friend.
“Look, Trixie! Sundews.” Starlight exclaimed, pointing at the plant. It looked like the pictures shown in Starlight’s encyclopedia, drops of dew covered the various red spines protruding from the plants. Starlight grabbed her shovel and gestured for Trixie to do the same.
Trixie crouched down to get a better look at the plant. “The water droplets make it look like it’s sparkling.”
Starlight leaned forward to join her. “I read up on these things. The dew isn’t water, but mucilage. The plant is carnivorous, it uses the mucus to eat insects.”
Trixie blinked in disgust as she backed away from the plant. “Well, as long as it doesn’t eat ponies Trixie won’t mind its mucus drops.” She pulled out her shovel and jabbed it into the ground. A low whine reverberated from everywhere.
Then, the earth began to tremble as the sundew awoke.
“Oh, she did such a wonderful job Twilight. I’m so happy for her. And you were right. The little fillies and colts in Cloudsdale loved the critters I showed them!”
Twilight nodded as she and Fluttershy trotted through the castle. “Well, I’m glad to hear that Fluttershy! And I’m happy that you’re back!”
Fluttershy offered her friend a sweet smile, “I’m happy to be back too! Traveling can be fun, but it’s always nice to be home.” Her eyes suddenly grew big as she gasped, her forehooves came up to cover her muzzle. “Oh Twilight, I’m so sorry! I was so quick to tell you all about my trip that I didn’t even ask you how your break has been so far. I’m sorry for being so selfish.”
Twilight put a comforting hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulders and pulled her into a hug. “Fluttershy, I was glad to hear all about your trip, I can’t even imagine thinking that you were selfish in any capacity.” The alicorn’s semblance changed once she approached her second point, “My break has been relatively uneventful… except for a complication with the lab construction.” She looked at the large double doors that she had led Fluttershy to, inside was the time capsule and all of its contents.
Fluttershy’s hooves covered her muzzle again as she looked at Twilight with worry, “Oh no! Did something go wrong? Did somecreature get hurt? Did Queen Novo pull her funding?”
Twilight squeezed Fluttershy harder to calm her. She smiled awkwardly at her friend. “Well, the last two of those did not happen. You might want to brace yourself for this.”
Purple aura encompassed the doors’ handles as they creaked open. Assorted piles of objects speckled the floor of the room and at its center sat the time capsule. Fluttershy looked upon it in awe, the light from the window behind the capsule illuminated it in an ethereal light. Twilight waited for her friend to return to her senses but quickly realized that seeing the time had triggered something deep within Fluttershy’s psyche. The alicorn waved her hoof in front of the pegasus’ face. Fluttershy snapped back into attention with a quiet, “oh.”
“I know, it’s a lot.” Twilight mumbled.
Fluttershy grabbed Twilight's shoulders and pulled her close. Her eyes had a desperation to them that Twilight was not expecting. “Is this the one? Is this really the Ponyville Time Capsule?”
Twilight confirmed her suspicions with an awkward half nod. She tried to explain further, but the pegasus had already released her. Fluttershy’s wings spread as she took flight, launching herself into the piles. Objects scattered throughout the room as yellow hooves rummaged through them in a mad dash. Twilight, at a loss for words, only stared with her mouth agape as Fluttershy moved with speed and agility. She moved from pile to pile before apprehending a white booklet.
“There you are!” She shouted and held the booklet close to her chest.
Twilight approached her cautiously, still uncertain of what to do. She watched Fluttershy silently rejoice before the pegasus suddenly remembered where she was and who she was with. Her face grew pinker as she looked up at Twilight with fearful eyes, then she slid back as far as she could away.
She was shaking as she spoke, “Oh I’m so sorry Twilight. I didn’t mean to make such a scene.”
Twilight gawked at her; she spoke slowly as her brain caught up to her eyes, “It’s okay. I…just…I wasn’t expecting that type of… reaction.” She pointed a hoof at the booklet that Fluttershy clenched to herself, eliciting a squeak from the yellow pegasus as she withdrew into herself. “Uh, what exactly is that Fluttershy, if you don’t mind me asking? I need to make sure that everything is safely returned to the time capsule.”
Fluttershy took another look at the book and its crude, hoof drawn cover. She used one of her hooves to wipe her muzzle as she sniffled. “Oh, Twilight. This is my contribution to the Ponyville Time Capsule. I wrote this story when I was young, but I was always so afraid to share it. When the time capsule project started everypony kept talking about contributing something that really showcased the real you. I decided to take a chance. I wrote the story, drew all the pictures, and even put my name on the cover. I threw in at the last moment and it felt so good to make something I was passionate about.”
She wiped a tear out of her eye and continued, “Um, but then I realized something. I had made a horrible, horrible mistake! Ponies started mentioning that this could be my only legacy, that ponies of the future would scrutinize each object, including my story.”
Fluttershy tapped the book with a hoof to emphasize. “This story is bad, Twilight! Very, very bad! And very, very embarrassing. I have spent every night since that day thinking of this story just sitting in that capsule. I even thought about going and unearthing it myself, but I didn’t know where the capsule was buried. This book should never see Celestia’s light. It is a mistake. A mistake that I can finally put to rest.” She shoved the booklet into her saddlebag and sealed it shut firmly.
“O-okay Fluttershy. I understand. But… it can’t really be that bad.” Twilight said calmly as she neared her friend.
Fluttershy thought about it before shaking it away. She looked at Twilight with determination. “No Twilight. I’m sorry, but I believe that I’m making the right call here. You love books so much; I wouldn’t torture you by forcing you to read this.”
Twilight placed a wing over her friend, “Okay sure. Do what feels right. But in exchange, I have a tangentially related favor to ask you.”
Despite peering directly into the gaping mouth of the sundew, Trixie couldn’t bring herself to scream. The plant monster came out of the ground with a mighty roar and the last hour or so had been spent trying to evade its mucousy tendrils. A considerable amount of Trixie’s time, energy, and thought had been put into completing this quest. Yet, as she looked at her own demise dead on, she couldn’t help but feel disengaged.
Many times, she had been faced with dire situations. Situations that would make the average mare curl up in a ball and weep. She had survived all of those. Yes, sometimes she walked away with more bruises and scars than before, but she always survived. So at a time such as this, Trixie evaluated the bits of pieces of the situation and concluded that this wasn’t worth screaming about.
Starlight trailed her from below as the monster’s tentacles whipped around. Trixie had been swept up by the monster, its red spines stuck into her, and the sticky mucus that they produced kept her ensnared. An arrow pierced the arm that was holding her, causing the monster to roar in anger. A swift flick of the arm snapped it clean off. The magician landed on the ground with a thump ; her fall had been cushioned by the tentacle that was still wrapped around her body. Starlight used her shovel to cut the tentacle into further bits; she grunted as she ripped Trixie out of the sticky residue.
Trixie’s tone was even-keel despite the circumstance. “Starlight, Trixie has been doing a lot of thinking lately.”
“Uh-huh, that’s great Trixie. Let's talk about it later.” Starlight dodged a stray tentacle before firing another arrow.
Trixie held a hoof to her chest and spoke from the heart, “I think I’ve really matured during this quest, and now I realize that some things are just not worth it.”
Starlight fended off a tentacle with her shovel, the monster pushed down on her before suddenly ripping it out of her grip. She barrel rolled out of the way.
Trixie walked up to her calmly and continued, “I’ve come to realize that it is not worthwhile to risk your life over something that you can’t even see! For all we know, this could all just be an outlandish prank. Or maybe even a test.”
Trixie put a hoof to her chin and stroked her nonexistent beard, the gravity of her words came crashing down on her. “Could this be a test? A test from the shadow government!” Trixie smiled as the master plan became clear. “Might I be Celestia’s newest princess pick? They shall call me Trixie Sparkle!”
Starlight tackled Trixie to the ground as a tentacle flew overhead and unrooted a tree behind them. She knew that she should probably be screaming at Trixie, but her priorities lie elsewhere. She overlooked the monster and considered her options. As her mind bounced between fight or flight, she couldn’t help but recognize the sound of jingling.
The two mares followed the sound to a specific tentacle that had wrapped itself around a green chest. A lock thumped against the wooden chest as the monster jerked its arms. Starlight watched the chest that was held high above. “It’s the treasure,” she whispered in reverence.
Trixie slipped out of Starlight’s grip and stood to her hooves. Everything slowed down as her eyes zeroed in on the treasure. Her brow furrowed as she grabbed her shovel. The magician rushed forward with vigor and let out a battle cry, “For the money!”
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
“So, you want to know about how I met our friends?” Fluttershy asked tentatively.
The mood at the Friendship Castle had calmed down considerably. Twilight had brought her friend into one of the castle’s cozier rooms, allowing the mares to sit in comfortable chairs and appreciate each other's presence. Twilight nodded excitedly as she levitated a quill and pulled out a scroll. Fluttershy relaxed more into her seat as she smiled fondly.
“Um, well. I had met Rainbow first at flight camp, as you know, with Dash stopping by to hang out from time to time. For years after getting my cutiemark, I studied all types of birds and flying insects. But deep down inside I knew that I didn’t just want to care for animals that could fly, I wanted to be with all critters. I started visiting the outskirts of Ponyville, secluded areas that saw little to no visitors. One day, I heard meowing, and I found the sweetest little kitten. She had a pretty blue collar with the name, ‘Opal,’ embroidered on it.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fluttershy had been so engrossed by the kitten’s cuteness that she didn’t notice the stranger slowly push through the bushes. She was only alarmed to the stranger’s presence when she sputtered and spit out a leaf. Fluttershy looked up in horror as she loomed over her. This was supposed to be her quiet space, a place where she could be completely alone with the animals. The kitten began to meow and wiggle in her grasp.
“Oh, Opal! You’re safe. Thank Celestia!” the stranger cried as she fell to her haunches in front of the pegasus.
The kitten began to purr as the stranger reached forward and rubbed her face. She smiled at the kitten before remembering the pony before her. “Oh, dear! Forgive me, darling. I should be thanking you for finding my sweet Opal. She can be so mischievous sometimes. I had taken my eyes off of her for one second and she was gone! I was absolutely hysterical! I must say tha- Oh darling, are you okay?”
Fluttershy was shaking and sweating profusely. She tried to avoid any eye contact with the other filly, opting to look at the ground. She knew that she should leave and never return, but she was so panicked that she was frozen in place. The stranger looked on in concern as she reached out a hoof, but Fluttershy flinched in response. The stranger withdrew, uncertain of how to proceed.
She spoke as gently as possible, “Oh darling, it was not my intention to frighten you. You had looked so serene and peaceful with Opal when I found you both. I recently returned to Ponyville from school a few weeks ago, so forgive me for not recognizing you. Are you perhaps new to town?”
“N-no I…I’m not. Oh! I still have your… oh I’m so sorry.” Fluttershy whimpered as she released the kitten from her shaking hooves. Opal tilted her head as she looked at the trembling filly. The stranger watched as the kitten offered Fluttershy a one-sided cuddle.
“I believe she likes you quite a bit dear. I couldn’t help but notice that your cutiemark is of butterflies. Might your talents lie with animals?”
Fluttershy provided her with a timid nod.
“Oh, that must be exciting! I fear that I have no gifts when it comes to dealing with animals. I got Opal because I want to show how mature I’ve become, but I worry that I might not be providing her with the best possible care. Are there any tips that you can offer a first-time pet owner?”
Fluttershy sniffed as she looked at the stranger directly for the first time. She looked very eloquent despite being enclosed in bushes. The absurdity of the situation seemed to bounce off of her as she looked at Fluttershy expectedly. Fluttershy could tell that this pony was nothing like her, yet she stayed. A bit of her anxiety slipped away as she thought of every cat care fact that she knew.
Her voice came out as a barely perceivable whisper, “Um… k-kittens really love to play, and almost anything c-can be used as a toy. They need a lot of attention early on but gradually become more ind-independent. N-not to say that you…you already didn’t know that. I’m sorry!”
The stranger waved her hooves to try and calm Fluttershy’s nerves. “No, no. That is very helpful! Uh… I see that Opal has gotten quite dirty out here, do you think I should bathe her?”
Fluttershy could feel Opal brushing up against her hooves. “Um, well. S-she did get dirty out here and she might have picked up some bugs in the bushes. C-cats usually clean themselves… so you have to be careful when you bathe them. Use lukewarm water and cat shampoo. Don’t rub too hard and if you must wash her head be careful around the eyes and ears. It’s best to wipe their faces with a washcloth gently. And dry her off really well when you're done.”
“Dry thoroughly. I’ll remember that.” the stranger mumbled to herself. She looked up at Fluttershy with a soft expression. “Thank you for letting me know eh… apologies, but what is your name, darling?”
Fluttershy ran her hooves through her mane. “F-fluttershy.”
“Fluttershy? My, that is a lovely name.” the stranger offered her a hoof, which Fluttershy hesitantly accepted. “And my name is Rarity, it's a pleasure to meet you.” She smiled as they shook hooves.
Fluttershy would usually assume that any statement suggesting that her presence was pleasurable to any pony was false. It was nothing more than a polite gesture, a consolation prize for a filly that easily faded into the background. But Rarity’s words and smile seemed so kind and so genuine, that Fluttershy felt inclined to believe her. While looking at Rarity's smile, Fluttershy noticed that Rarity donned a set of braces just like her own. She had believed that they could never have anything in common, not in a million years. But Fluttershy was wrong. She thought that maybe she could trust this pony. It had happened so slowly, but Fluttershy realized that she wasn’t as scared as before.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twilight placed her quill on the table as she wiped her eyes with a hoof. “Oh Fluttershy, that was a beautiful story. No wonder you and Rarity became friends after that.”
“Mm-hm, Rarity stopped by the outskirts every other day with Opal to check on me. She would bring tea and treats for us to snack on. Eventually, she started bringing me things I could wear. Hats, scarves, bows, and more. She was even generous back then. I um still have quite a few of them. “She poured herself some more tea as she sat back and waited for some sort of signal from Twilight.
Twilight clapped her hooves in excitement as she picked up her quill. “So, who next?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A part of Fluttershy always knew that Rarity and her get-togethers were always on her terms. Rarity would periodically make her way to the outskirts of Ponyville just to talk with Fluttershy. Conversations tended to revolve around animals with the occasional divergence into more general topics. Fluttershy always wanted to know more about Rarity, which is why she should have been excited when Rarity invited her to come over to her house, but she couldn’t help but imagine the grueling process of traversing the town to get there. She knew that this was important to Rarity, and she really did want to go, she just needed a little reassurance.
“It really isn’t too bad in Ponyville. It’s warm and colorful. The ponies here are quite friendly but not too intrusive. If they wave at you, just try to wave back. It’ll be a short trip to my home; we will be there in no time. And on the plus side, you get to see more of Ponyville! Who knows, you might fall in love with the area and decide to stay.” Rarity reassured her with a confident smile.
Fluttershy couldn’t help but smile back. Ever since she mentioned that she would like to move to a town on the ground, Rarity had become the number one advocate for Ponyville. She told the pegasus that having her nearby would ensure that there was at least one more sane pony in this town. Fluttershy liked the idea of somepony actually relying on her.
Rarity took a deep breath before grabbing Fluttershy’s hooves with her own. “Now darling, I promise you that everything should go as planned, but there is a wild card.” Fluttershy swallowed as Rarity looked directly into her eyes and squeezed her hooves. “I have this friend…You will know exactly who she is when you see her. Her name is Pinkie Pie. Pink coat with a very nice pink mane that she takes very poor care of. She tends to greet newcomers to our town, which means that she is very good at spotting outsiders.”
The unicorn filly could tell that Fluttershy was growing nervous; she persisted nonetheless, “I am not saying this to say that Pinkie is somepony to be feared or threatened by. She is genuinely one of the sweetest ponies I have ever met, but she is quite… eccentric …and excitable. She also has a propensity to appear out of impossible places. Spare yourself and don’t think too hard about what she does or how she does it.”
“O-oh my,” whispered Fluttershy as she retracted into herself. Rarity knew she had to approach this differently.
“Fluttershy, tell me the name of an animal that is very energetic and chaotic and friendly.”
Fluttershy thought about it. “Um…I don’t know, maybe a um golden retriever?”
Rarity clapped her hooves together and grinned. “Yes, a golden retriever. Think of Pinkie as a pink golden retriever… And I’m not saying that to undermine Pinkie’s eguinity or her intellect. Pinkie is a very smart pony…who tends to do very unsmart things a lot of the time. Just remember that she means no harm. I’ll try to reel her in but understand that to her, a new pony means a new friend. So, are you ready?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rarity was completely right when she described Ponyville as warm and colorful. Ponies walked the streets with smiles on their faces as they greeted each other by name. Fluttershy tried her best not to stare at the unicorns or earth ponies. Having spent her life in Cloudsdale meant that interaction with any unwinged creature was minimal, but in Ponyville all tribes were represented. Ponies walked around holding bouquets of fresh flowers. Produce was sold by the ponies that actually grew it, not by secondhand buyers. She looked around at the brilliant simplicity of it all. Everypony worked together as a close-knit system. Everypony had their place, everypony mattered. It made Fluttershy wonder if she could find a place here too. It seemed that Rarity was on a roll because another one of her statements was right.
A shrill voice rang out from the heavens as everypony within the vicinity looked up. “ON YOUR LEFT!”
Fluttershy felt an extraordinary gust of wind as the pony hit the ground, but instead of splatting, they bounced up into the air. Fluttershy could have sworn that she heard a sound resembling a pinball machine as the pony torpedo bounced off of a wall, cart, and lamp post. The crash landing came to an end once the pony began rolling along the ground slowly approaching where Rarity and Fluttershy stood. The pink ball unfurled herself as she lay on her back and looked up at the sky. A pair of thick glasses and cyan eyes greeted them and immediately locked on to, “RARITY!”
Fluttershy was completely flabbergasted, but Rarity wasn’t fazed in the slightest. She maintained the same sophisticated disposition that she always had and smiled warmly at the pink pony, correcting her crooked glasses with her magic. “Pinkie darling how are yo- Sweet Celestia! What happened to your eyebrows!”
All semblance of sophistication left Rarity’s body as she cupped Pinkie’s face with her hooves and pulled her into a sitting position. The unicorn roughly inspected Pinkie’s face, tilting it from side-to-side, hoping to find some remains of a discernible eyebrow. The blue and yellow helmet that Pinkie had been wearing slid off her head revealing a mess of pink curls underneath.
Pinkie giggle-snorted. “Rarity, you silly filly. Everypony knows that my eyebrows blew up like fooooorever ago.” Fluttershy was starting to worry that this poor pony might have a concussion because she continued giggling despite Rarity’s rising concern.
“Blew up! Blew up, when!”
Pinkie checked a watch that she certainly hadn’t had a second ago, “Ummmmmm like 54 hours ago Rarity. Didn’t you hear that big ole KABLAM, the whole town was shakin’ and quakin’.”
Rarity drew Pinkie in close. “That was you?”
Pinkie nodded and broke out into another giggle fit. “I was just doing a little itsy-bitsy teensy-weensy experimenting past beddy-bye. And everything was going super-duper well, then it was going super-duper not well, then it was going super-duper explodey.” Pinkie used her hooves to mimic the motion of an explosion.
“I assume that the Cakes weren’t too happy about your sudden penchant for late-night explosions.”
Pinkie jumped up and down. “Wowie Rarebear! Are you psychic too? Do you have some secret Rarity Sense that you’re not telling me about?” She wrapped a hoof around the unicorn and whispered, “Pinkie’s in a bit of a pickle at the moment. The Cakes weren’t gonna allow me to leave Sugarcube Corner for a veryveryveryveryveryvery long time buuuut they decided that I needed to get some fresh air, so they let me run deliveries. I’m just taking a bit more time than I usually would *wink*.”
Rarity pulled herself out of Pinkie’s hug and feigned shock. “Dear Pinkie! I know you’re not telling me that you’re breaking the rules while grounded. How scandalous!”
Pinkie pulled a black leather jacket out of a pot and sashayed about, “You heard it loud and clear Rarebear. I’m b-b-b-b-b-bad to the bone.”
A guitar lick played out from nowhere in particular. The corners of Fluttershy’s mouth began to upturn as the pink pony danced in place. She was still perplexed by what was happening but found herself giggling alongside Rarity. Her nervousness only spiked when Pinkie’s cyan eyes locked onto her, growing three times bigger as Pinkie gaped at her.
The burgeoning of a yell was swiftly silenced by Rarity’s hoof as she pulled Pinkie away. “Fluttershy, be a dear and stay put for a second. I will be right here.” She made sure to stay within Fluttershy’s eyesight as she gave Pinkie a warning look. She quietly counted down from three before removing her hoof from Pinkie’s mouth.
“RARIT-” Pinkie’s question was silenced as she found yet another hoof in her muzzle.
“Pinkie darling, please. I know we are outside but please be a dear and use your inside voice.” Rarity pleaded. Pinkie’s ears flattened against her head at the request, she loved using her outside voice. Rarity didn’t want to make her friend feel dispirited, but she needed her to calm down. She mouthed please one last time, prompting Pinkie to talk quietly.
“Who's that Rarity? I’ve never seen her in Ponyville before.” Pinkie chirped as she pulled out a pair of binoculars and looked around.
“Well, she is new to Ponyville. Her name is Fluttershy with emphasis on the shy. She’s from Cloudsdale, but she visits Ponyville to talk with the animals.” Rarity subtly pointed at the yellow pegasus behind her.
“Wowzers, she can talk to animals! FF sometimes talks to animals! Does she know what I’m saying right now!” Pinkie pointed at her muzzle as Rarity rolled her eyes.
“I’m not sure if anypony can truly understand what you are saying.” Rarity muttered as she rubbed her forehead, “Fluttershy is prone to fits of nervousness, Pinkie. When you deal with her, you have to be gentle with her or she might panic.”
Pinkie nodded in understanding. Rarity smiled as the pink filly saluted and calmed herself. She wrapped a hoof around Pinkie’s neck and walked her over to Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, this is my friend Pinkie Pie.”
Pinkie smiled broadly and shook with excitement. Despite her jittering, she kept her voice low, “Hiya Fluttershy!” She waved at the yellow pegasus.
Fluttershy was also shaking, but with a lot more anxiety than her counterpart. She gulped, “Oh…um hello Pinkie, I’m Fluttershy. Oh… but you already knew that.”
Pinkie looked at Rarity eagerly, “Wow Rarity! She really can talk to animals!” She looked back at Fluttershy in awe. “That’s so amazing Fluttershy. You’re super-duper cool.”
Fluttershy blushed at the compliment, uncertain of what provoked the pink pony to say that. She hid behind her mane as Rarity returned to fussing over Pinkie’s lack of eyebrows. Pinkie stuck out her tongue playfully at the unicorn before her attention was drawn elsewhere. Her grin grew wider as she spotted an orange earth pony pulling a cart.
“HIYA APPLEJACK!” Pinkie hollered out clamping her own hooves over her mouth as Rarity shot her a glare. Fluttershy noticed that Applejack didn’t quite return Pinkie’s greeting, she sighed and looked wearily at the pink pony.
The cart creaked as the earth pony tugged it over, Fluttershy was surprised to hear her thick country accent. “Now, now, Pinkie. I’m runnin’ some deliveries at the moment and Sugarcube Corner is one of my stops. Take yall’s order back with you so I can get this over with sooner.” She didn’t wait for an answer as she unhitched herself from the cart.
Rarity’s posture changed as she watched Applejack lethargically walk around the cart and start to dig through its contents. Rarity crossed her hooves and rolled her eyes. The unicorn huffed haughtily. “And a good afternoon and hello to you Applejack.”
Applejack peered back at Rarity with disinterest as she moved a bag of apples to the side. She turned around again and got a good look at her. “Who’s your friend there Rarity?” she asked coldly.
The unicorn gestured at Fluttershy with both of her hooves, “This is Fluttershy. She’s new so I must thank you for giving her such a warm welcome.” Rarity retorted sarcastically as she flipped her mane to the side.
Applejack snorted as she hung her front hooves over the cart. “Well, as long as she ain’t nothin’ like you I’ll make sure to greet her warmly from now on.” Applejack mockingly bowed to Fluttershy.
Rarity stood up defensively as Applejack got back to her search. She prepared to say something before Pinkie popped up between her and Applejack. “Applejack~ I’m throwing a Summer Sun Celebration celebration party in a few weeks. It’ll be the day before the Summer Sun Celebration to commemorate the celebration with a celebration!” Pinkie proudly presented a pink envelope to Applejack. Applejack only shook her head before turning away, the invitation was left unaccepted. Pinkie’s mane seemed to lose some of its volume after Applejack’s rejection.
Rarity nudged Pinkie to the side. “Come on Applejack, you can’t set a little bit of time aside to come to Pinkie’s shindig. She’s giving you plenty of time to plan ahead.”
Applejack shook her head again as she glared at Rarity. “I ain’t goin’ cause I can’t make it! Some of us got mouths to feed. We can’t all waste our time workin’ on fru-fru nonsense!”
Rarity scoffed as she stamped her huff down. Fluttershy could feel her panic rising as the two began arguing. She suddenly became hyper-aware of where she was, ponies trotted everywhere and in every direction. Conversions filled the area as many ponies, too many ponies, went about their daily lives. She tried looking for a way out before realizing that Pinkie was staring directly at her. Pinkie looked at the pegasus with a much softer smile as her friend’s argued. Fluttershy thought that she looked kind of sad.
Pinkie twirled Applejack’s invitation around in her hooves before stuffing it into her mane, then she pulled out a blue balloon and began stretching it. “Don’t get upset Fluttershy, they do this all the time.” She looked at her friends fondly before frowning. “Granted, their arguments weren’t always this bad. Everypony’s just a little more grumpy these days, and Applejack’s a little bit sadder than before.” Pinkie sighed before blowing into the balloon and tying the end. “I want to make her smile again. Because she’s my friend.” Pinkie began twisting the balloon before the ghost of a smile returned to her features. “Just like how your special talent is animals, mine is making ponies happy.”
Pinkie offered the finished balloon animal to Fluttershy, who stared in wonder at it. She gingerly took the inflatable dog and studied it. Pinkie clapped her hooves as Fluttershy began to smile. “I hope you like it because it's all yours! I like you a whole lot Fluttershy, I hope we can be friends.”
Fluttershy was surprised to make yet another friend so quickly but nodded nonetheless. Pinkie squealed in excitement. “I know that it might be hard to tell since my eyebrows are missing, but I’m super-duper happy right now!” Pinkie silently gestured to her empty brows, causing Fluttershy to snort. The pegasus wanted to apologize, but Pinkie was already giggling like a madmare. She joined in as she held the balloon animal close.
The giggle fit died down as Pinkie took note of the argument going on in front of her once again. Fluttershy watched her mood nosedive as the pink filly started frowning again. Fluttershy swallowed and spoke without much thought, “Pinkie! Um… if you don’t mind m-me asking, I would love to c-come to your Summer Sun Celebration celebration.”
“Really?” Pinkie asked forlornly.
Fluttershy nodded earnestly in response, and Pinkie’s mood ascended to the heavens. She reached into her mane and pulled out another invitation and a pen. She spoke as she wrote down a message. “To my super-duper new friend Fluttershy! Looking forward to seeing you there! Love, Pinkie. “Pinkie finished her letter with a series of hearts before offering it to Fluttershy. Fluttershy had no idea what she had just gotten herself into but found that seeing Pinkie smile again was worth it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“And did you go to the party?” Twilight tapped her chin with the quill.
“Oh yes! It was terrifying, but Pinkie was so happy to see me. It also helped that I had Rarity and Rainbow Dash with me.”
Twilight looked at her inquisitively, “Rainbow Dash was there?”
“Um…yes. She wasn’t really invited, but she was curious. Pinkie didn’t mind it too much. She was actually so excited that she fainted! It took her a while to actually calm down enough to talk to Rainbow without collapsing.” Fluttershy giggled and Twilight eagerly joined in.
The alicorn sipped some of her tea. “And Applejack?”
“She stopped by with Big Mac, but only for a second. She was um… different back then. She was really hurting at the time. She argued with Rarity even more than she does now, and sometimes she snapped at Pinkie when Pinkie um pushed her too hard. But she was always polite enough to me.”
Fluttershy rubbed her face with a sigh and took a moment to think. “But as I got to know her…she really came around. Now she’s one of my dearest friends.” She smiled warmly as she placed her teacup on the table. “Sometimes it just takes a little while to find out who somepony truly is.”
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
Let’s Not Disappear Like A Firework
Twilight sighed contently as she reviewed her notes from her discussion with Fluttershy. She corrected her grammar as she hummed to herself, remembering that she would have to start the resorting project again first thing in the morning. The last thing she needed was for word to get out and for more ponies to reclaim their items. The rest of her friends would be coming in soon with Rainbow Dash possibly arriving sometime tonight; she might need to ask them to help oversee the process. Trixie and Starlight could also help, but the two were obviously preoccupied with their own task. Twilight just hoped that Trixie and Starlight’s “errand” wasn’t something illegal or potentially world-ending.
As if on cue the sound of voices filtered out from the hallway. Twilight recognized the squabbling of Starlight and Trixie, but their usual discourse was accompanied by other more concerning sounds. The sound of something heavy being dragged in brief intervals and the sound of sticky hooves ripping up the carpet caused Twilight’s ears to flick. She was compelled to her hooves as the thought of the inevitable mess in the hall spreading throughout the castle aggravated her orderly nature. She threw the door open and was met with the surprised faces of Starlight and Trixie.
The unicorns were covered in a sticky substance that matted their coats and caused their manes to jut out in all directions. Trixie carried two shovels on top of her saddle bags and was covered in significantly more goo and red spines than Starlight. She had been holding the missing crossbow in her magic before unceremoniously dropping it in a poor attempt to absolve herself.
Starlight smiled awkwardly as a stray arrow launched from the weapon and shattered a stained-glass window. She was also donning her saddle bags as she followed Trixie. It appeared that she was tasked with pulling a green chest by herself, and for whatever reason, she was only using her muzzle to drag the gooey box through the castle. She looked utterly exhausted as she panted and leaned nonchalantly against the chest. The mares had left a trail of slime and red spikes in their wake, leaving the fine carpet in a tarnished state.
Twilight’s eye twitched as she looked at Starlight, expecting some type of explanation. Starlight scanned the room for an excuse but found none. Luckily, Trixie knew exactly how to defuse the situation. “Twilight, tell Trixie. Have you gotten taller?”
Twilight knew that she was a stickler from time to time. She had received her fair share of criticism about her penchant for following the rules, with Rainbow Dash alone contributing a lifetime's worth of feedback. Since moving to Ponyville, she had gradually grown to recognize that order wasn’t always the most important thing. But that didn’t mean that rules and order weren’t necessary or important.
Twilight believed that a fundamental aspect of leadership was knowing when to put your hoof down and when not to. Having seen the haggard state of Trixie and Starlight, Twilight put her hoof down. She firmly suggested that they clean up and get some much needed rest, promising to store the chest in her office overnight. They could collect the chest in the morning after Twilight received a proper explanation, and said explanation proved to be interesting.
“I still don’t understand how you ended up going to the swamp first, you said you checked multiple encyclopedias.”
Starlight threw up her hooves, nearly knocking over her morning coffee, “It was an honest mistake. Forgive me for not being an expert on wetland formation!” She huffed and slumped in her chair.
Twilight took a cursory look at her notes and considered what to do next. She was disappointed to hear that Starlight and Trixie had taken and used objects from the time capsule. She was also a little jealous that the pair had been solving a mystery without her, Starlight knew that she loved a good quest and riddle. As she looked at the two before her, she knew that there was little that she could do in this situation. The treasure was already found, the monster was already vanquished, the riddle was already solved, and the twinkie was already devoured. She picked her brain in hopes of finding some angle to approach this from. Some way to flip this whole scenario into a lesson. Her mind drew a blank. Almost every decision made by the residents of the Friendship Castle within the last few days was borderline unethical.
She tapped a rhythm out onto her desk before giving her verdict, “I will tell you now that I am not angry with you two, but I am disappointed.” Twilight ignored Trixie’s groan maintaining her authoritative voice, “You two took things that did not belong to you. The ponies of the future will not be able to undergo this quest because of your decision. I hope you both understand that.”
She stood up and began to pace the room, stopping in front of the chest. She placed a hoof on the chest before remembering that it was still very sticky. “With that being said, you both obviously went through a lot to find it. So, let’s open it up and see what’s inside.”
Trixie shot out her chair as she pulled out the key, she glared at Twilight once she reached the chest. “Just so you know Twilight, Trixie will not be giving you a cut of her treasure!”
A satisfying click was heard by all three mares as they crowded around the wooden box. They gasped at what they saw.
“Sweet Celestia! That's a whole lot of bits!” Starlight yelled as Trixie dove her forehooves into the chest. Cloudy Whistles’ riddle promised bits, but Starlight had no idea that the chest would be filled to the brim with glowing gold coins.
“Trixie feels something in the bottom.”
The mares began clumsily shoveling bits out of the chest until they found their last promised reward. Trixie cupped her hooves around it and pulled it out for all to see. A massive black and yellow firework with intricate star motifs and stripes exited the box.
“What! I can’t just give it a quick read!” Rainbow chuckled as Fluttershy swiftly ripped the booklet out of her hooves. She had decided to stop by Fluttershy’s cottage to thank her again for watching her Wonderbolts show but was quickly distracted by the white book poking out of Fluttershy’s saddle bag.
Fluttershy huffed as she dropped the booklet in a miniature trash can. “Rainbow it’s very rude to come into somepony’s home and take their things without permission.”
Rainbow rubbed the back of head and made herself comfortable on the couch. “Yeah, my bad Flutters. I was just curious. If it makes you feel any better, it looked just like those egghead comic books you used to read back in the day.”
Fluttershy pulled a box of matches out from one of her drawers. “They weren’t just comic books, Rainbow Dash. They were manega, a form of Neighponese storytelling. And what I made… was very, very bad.” Fire illuminated Fluttershy’s features as she dropped a match into the trash can, ridding the world of her greatest sin once and for all.
“Dang Flutters! I didn’t think that it bothered you that much. Where’d you find that thing anyways?”
Fluttershy continued to watch the manega burn. “Oh, in the Old Ponyville Time Capsule.”
The Wonderbolt gripped the armrest of the couch. “The Old Ponyville Time Capsule?” Dash muttered as she looked away from Fluttershy.
“Mmm-hmm. The construction crew accidentally dug it up. Twilight’s um trying to fix it before anypony gets in trouble.”
A gust of wind almost extinguished the cleansing fire in Fluttershy’s trash can as Rainbow Dash rocketed out of her front door.
“Twilight!” Rainbow Dash shoved her way through the window to Twilight’s office and collapsed on the floor. “Twilight! Fluttershy told me that you dug up the Old Ponyville Time Capsule!”
Twilight helped Rainbow to her hooves and laughed awkwardly. “What are you…what are you even.” Twilight sputtered as Rainbow Dash gawked at her. She sighed and hung her head in shame. “Yes Rainbow, I dug up the time capsule. But I’ve really learned about this town… and Starlight and Trixie even found some treasure.” Twilight’s consolation smile clearly wasn’t appreciated.
Rainbow looked around the room before coming face-to-face with a shocked Starlight Glimmer. The purple unicorn muttered something about Dash, “being early,” before jumping into the treasure chest and submerging herself in bits. She poured bits over herself as she wore a cocky grin. “Why if it isn’t The Rainbow Dash. Trixie and I were rewarded with all of these bits after finishing a quest.”
Rainbow continued to stare as her wings lay limp at her sides. “We had a slay a sundew just to get it. It was quite the tall order.” She waited for Rainbow to say something, for her to do anything, but she just kept staring. Starlight took her silence as a net positive and delivered the final blow. “And we did all of this without any magic.” She smiled triumphantly.
It took a few minutes for Rainbow Dash to register what she had heard. She shook her entire body into attention before speaking up, “cool.”
It was silent. Now it was Starlight’s turn to stare. Her eye twitched as Rainbow stood awkwardly at the center of the room and ruminated on something. “I-is that all you guys found?”
Twilight propped herself up on her desk as she looked to Rainbow, “That’s actually the most interesting part about th-”
Trixie interjected as she cradled the firework. “Absolutely not Sparkle! This is Trixie’s story to tell. We found this beautiful firecracker at the bottom of the chest! Now maybe if you are uncultured in the ways of fireworks like your Princess of Friendship here, you might not recognize how special this firework is.”
Twilight tried to protest, but Trixie silenced her with a hoof. “When Trixie was just beginning her illustrious career, she had to resort to underground and slightly illegal markets in order to acquire fireworks. But at the time, the fireworks market was a…up in the air. Fireworks varied greatly in quality and prices were all over the place. Then, Al Capony came into the picture.”
“Al…Capony?” Rainbow muttered in bewilderment.
“Yes Al Capony! The greatest firework designer, manufacturer, and seller in the game. Capony made a consistently good product. Everypony who needed a firework wanted one from Al Capony, even Trixie. But, almost as quickly as he appeared, he disappeared. He had many enemies who were jealous of his output and reputation. His remaining products still go for big prices on the market, not that Trixie would know. I make my own fireworks now heavily inspired by Al Capony’s genius. This firework here is a never before seen original of his! It is possible that this Cloudy Whistles was Al Capony or at least somepony close to him!”
Rainbow continued nodding as Trixie finished, her mouth moved but no words came out. The firework was the size of a grownpony’s head. It was a simple shape with a long cylindrical base and cone shaped top. The cylinder was painted with black and yellow stripes, while the cone was decorated with stars.
Rainbow raised a hoof to touch it, but Trixie ripped it out of her range. It took a few moments before the pegasus became aware again. She cringed slightly as she spoke, “So this Capony was a big deal huh? What are you going to do with the firecracker?”
Trixie fondled the explosive in her eyes as she contemplated Rainbow’s question. “Trixie could get a big pay out if she sells this to the highest bidder. But, as a fan of Capony’s artistry, I would love to ignite it myself and see what might be his greatest work.”
Believing that she was safe to talk, Twilight stepped out from behind her desk. “Or we could turn the firecracker over to the authorities. This Al Capony is bad news. Whoever this pony is, they’re on the Royal Guards Watchlist!”
Trixie rolled her eyes as she kissed the firework. “Oh, as if you care about following the law! Out of all the ponies in this room, Trixie is the only one that hasn’t committed some high-level offense such as…” She pointed an accusatory hoof to Twilight and Starlight, “using magic to rob ponies of their autonomy through mind or personality control or…” She pointed to Rainbow Dash, “causing mass destruction of property!”
Rainbow Dash seemed to have returned to her usual self as she listened to Trixie’s accusations. “Who even told you about that!”
Trixie scoffed as she turned away from everypony. “Sometimes Trixie pays attention to your boring life stories. If you all can commit crimes against the crown at least once, so can Trixie. I wouldn’t expect any of you to understand the plight of the common pony who actually faces real consequences, since you're all tools of the shadow government. They clearly erase all of your misdeeds in order to preserve your public images. It is only by word of mouth that your wrongdoings live on!”
Starlight, having long grown used to being reminded of her less than stellar past, recovered the quickest. “Trixie! How many times do I have to tell you that there is no shadow government pulling the strings from the background!”
Trixie paced around the room and purposefully spoke loud enough to be heard by a hypothetical recording device. “Well, Starlight! If the shadow government did exist, then Trixie would like a better deal! Must she find this Al Capony to prove herself worthy of Celestia’s light!”
Twilight groaned and face hoofed as she looked to any pony for help. “You know what Trixie, if finding Al Capony keeps you preoccupied then I give you full support.”
Trixie beamed at Twilight’s support. “A backing from Celestia’s little lightlet is as good as law. This is the final push that Trixie needed to search for her idol! Starlight let us interrogate this little town and find our mastermind.” Trixie pushed into Starlight’s haunches as they marched to the door.
Rainbow Dash leaped into the air and stretched out her entire body to block the door frame. “Stop! You can’t ask ponies in town about this.”
Nopony in the room seemed moved by Rainbow’s plea, she began to sweat as she scrambled for an explanation. “You can’t ask ponies in town about this… b-because they’ll totally freak out! Yeah. We had a big…no…HUGE problem with fireworks back in the day. It was so bad that it was a big issue during the mayoral elections. Mayor Mare basically won because she promised to obliterate anypony who sold fireworks illegally. If you bring up this mess again…ponies will riot or shun you or worse.”
Starlight looked to Trixie with a concerned expression. “Is it really that bad, Dash?”
Rainbow nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, it's really that bad. If you really need to find out more, keep it quiet and don’t ask any pony directly. And DON’T show that firework around. In all honesty, only the four of us should know about it.” She looked at Twilight. “Just us four. Not Rarity, not Pinkie, not Applejack, and especially not Fluttershy!”
The four of them exchanged looks before nodding in agreement.
Rainbow Dash stayed in the doorway, watching Trixie and Starlight leave with the treasure chest and firecracker. It took a couple of tries for Twilight to regain her attention and have her take a seat in front of her desk.
Rainbow shifted in her seat. “Those two sure made themselves comfortable with robbing a Ponyville monument.”
Twilight looked at her apologetically and offered a sympathetic shrug. “I know I could have handled this better, Dash. I'm sorry. But maybe this is for the best. Somepony a hundred years from now could have gotten seriously hurt looking for that treasure, and the firecracker is in good hooves now.”
Rainbow raised a skeptical eyebrow and puckered her lips. “You consider Trixie ‘good hooves.’”
“She is as long as she stays in Ponyville where Starlight and I can keep an eye on her.” Twilight pulled out a scroll and apprehended a quill with her magic. Rainbow rolled her eyes and slumped further in her chair knowing full well that they were about to have one of those conversations. “So, I was talking to Fluttershy about how you first met our friends, and she mentioned that you met Rarity and Pinkie at a party?”
The pegasus tilted her head from side-to-side as she thought about it. “Yeah, something like that. I had met Rares a little bit before the party after following Fluttershy to Ponyville.
Twilight began writing things down onto her scroll, she looked up inquisitively. “You followed her?”
Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her head. “Uh…yeah, I was a bit worried about her. I was used to her always kinda…staying home you know. She would always hang around by herself and I would try to visit her when I could. I was surprised to see that she had suddenly made friends and was being invited to parties and was even thinking about moving away. She never really told me about it, so I had to go and investigate.”
“Was it…odd to see Fluttershy in a new environment?” Twilight asked.
Rainbow was silent for a while, she sighed. “A little bit. At the time, I wasn’t with the weather team and I wasn’t old enough to be a Wonderbolt yet. I spent most of my time just practicing and hanging out. Which was awesome, but kinda…boring sometimes. Everypony else had such a clear idea of how they could spend their time. AJ had the farm, Pinks was at the Corner, Rarity was pulling shifts at this toy shop, and Shy was learning about animals around town and hanging out with Captain FF.”
Twilight’s mouth hung agape as she checked her notes. “Okay first off, Rarity worked at a toy shop? Second, you know who FF is?”
Her friend smiled. “Yep, the place was super weird. They mostly sold these creepy dolls that covered the walls. Rarity would sow all their little clothes and paint their faces. She was miserable, but she needed the money. The Captain’s name was Firefly, but everypony called her FF. She was so cool! She’d trap and release monsters from the Everfree and keep the town safe. She was borderline senile when I met her, but she could still put up a mean fight. Shy would help FF out around her home, and FF actually left Shy her cottage as a thank you.”
Twilight looked on with awe. “I didn’t know about all that Dash. We actually found a message from FF in the capsule, she seemed pretty…cool as you would say.”
“Yeah, she really was. She even kinda helped me get on the weather team. She had a lot of sway in this town, being super old and all. Someponies just know how to call in a favor.”
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
Mayor Mare could feel a migraine coming on as she stepped over one of the many files scattered around Town Hall. Filing cabinet drawers had been left upon with reckless abandon. Baby pictures had been separated from their birth certificates. Marriage certificates were separated from their personal files and the cutiemark catalog was flipped over in a way that bent its binder out of shape. At the center of this torpedo of disorganization were two unicorns. Mayor Mare had grown quite familiar with Trixie and Starlight over the last few years, since both of the former villains' escapades had resulted in a considerable amount of paperwork for her.
She rubbed her temple as Trixie explained why they were making a mess of Ponyville’s records. “Trixie has already told you! We are on an official investigation on behalf of Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Trixie took great joy in rolling the r’s in the word princess as she held up a toy badge resembling that of legal authority.
Mayor Mare rolled her eyes as she pushed the badge out of her face. She looked at Starlight in hopes of finding some reason, but the purple unicorn only smiled apologetically. Trixie cleared her throat to gain everypony’s attention.
“We are looking for one Cloudy Whistles. We believe that this pony lived here some years ago and that they were a certifiable genius craftspony.”
Mayor Mare placed her hoof on a filing cabinet labeled ‘C,’ and raised an eyebrow. “Have you two checked here?”
Starlight placed herself between the mayor and the magician. “We have, but we couldn’t find an exact profile. Our pony might be using an alias. Are there any more files we can check?”
Mayor Mare fussed over her collar as she thought of a plan. “Well, it seems that you need further information on this pony. Information that an official record would probably lack. Maybe you two could ask around. Here’s an idea! You’re both friends with Pinkie Pie, she volunteers here from time-to-time. She knows about the filing system, and she has a prolific knowledge of personal information. Go talk to her.” Mayor Mare put on her designated politician smile as she led Starlight and Trixie out the door.
After being unceremoniously kicked out of the Town Hall and realizing that Pinkie wouldn’t be home until tomorrow, Trixie and Starlight wandered Ponyville asking about Cloudy Whistles. The general consensus indicated that the particular name of Cloudy Whistles was unknown. Long-time Ponyville residents offered similar names or possible guesses at a true identity, but there was no concrete evidence to lead them in one direction. Trixie cursed herself for agreeing to Rainbow’s terms of staying quiet about the true intent of their investigation. Specifically mentioning fireworks could potentially jog the memories of the residents, or it could at least provide context.
The town grew dark as the sun disappeared below the horizon. Streetlamps came to life as the two unicorns roamed the gradually emptying roads. After a conversation with Derpy proved fruitless in their endeavor, the pair decided to resign for the night. They walked in silence as they made their way to the castle, and it was that mutual quietude that allowed the mares to hear the whisper coming from the alleyway. Trixie seemed to recognize what was happening first as she placed a hoof on Starlight's back and gestured for her to stay quiet. Starlight complied, allowing Trixie to take the lead as they entered the dark.
The stench of smoke immediately entered Starlight’s senses as she put a hoof to her muzzle and repressed a cough. The unknown pony smirked as he extinguished his cigar on the wall that he leaned against. “Trixie. It’s been a while. How’ve you been?” he drawled smoothly.
Trixie didn’t bother with the strange pony’s formalities. She instantly recognized his smirk, cleft chin, and slicked back manecut. Her eyes filled with malice, as she got in his face. “Why are you here Bugs!” she spat the last words as she began to pace the alleyway.
Bugs was unimpressed by Trixie’s display of distress. He wiped some lint off his black trenchcoat. “I’m here because a little birdy told me that there’s an original Al Capony on the market.”
Trixie immediately stopped walking as she stared at Bugs. “You must be mistaken. Al Capony is gone! It’s probably a counterfeit.”
Bugs’ cool demeanor slipped as he began to laugh. He removed himself from the wall and came closer to Trixie. “What do you take me for Trixie? Some type of a moron. This cracker is completely unique, and I know that you have it.” He used his unlit cigar to poke Trixie’s chest as he backed her into a wall.
Starlight used her magic to yank Bugs’ tail, the stallion grunted as he slammed into the brick wall behind him. A pair of wings shifted under his trench coat as he got on his hooves. He rubbed his muzzle with an achy hoof and turned his attention to Starlight. “Ah my apologies Trixie, I didn’t regard your friend here. How rude of me. My name is Bugs Marean. Me and Trixie are old friends, it seems that I might have gotten a bit carried away.” Despite being thrown like a ragdoll, Bugs remained calm and cool. Starlight glared at him as he offered her a hoof shake.
She slapped his hoof out of the way and sternly spoke, “Listen here buddy, you don’t ever put your hooves on my friend! I don’t know why you’re here and I don’t care why you’re here. You should leave, now!” She looked at Trixie with concern. “Are you okay?”
Trixie nodded as she scampered over to Starlight’s side. He watched the pair intently before pulling out a fresh cigar and lighting it. “No can do ma’am. I know you want me gone, but even if I’m gone I won’t stay gone. Plenty of ponies are coming for Al Capony, and they’ll raze this whole town just to finally get him.”
Starlight could tell that Trixie was growing nervous. “How do you know that Al Capony is here?”
Bugs’ smirk returned as he took a drag of his cigar. “Because somepony tried to sell the firecracker out of here. But that’s the small stuff. We had big suspicions of this town back in the day. We even interrogated the gushy ponies who live here, but none of them knew anything or they wouldn’t talk. We told them that if any of them so much as uttered the name Al Capony, we would blow this place to smithereens.”
Starlight and Trixie didn’t know what to say. Bugs reveled in the silence as he chuckled to himself. His wings burst out of slits in his trench coat, and he began to take flight. He offered the mares a wink and one final message. “And Starlight, we don’t care about how powerful you are, or about the little Princess of Friendship, or about the Elements. Al Capony’s going to pay for messing with our business and our territory. You can blast me away, send me to Tartarus, encase me in stone. We’ll just keep coming. And if push comes to shove. Twilight won’t miss either of you if she can’t ever find you.”
The mares watched as Bugs flew into the night. The shadow of a pegasus crossing through the moonlight was cast over the alleyway as Starlight turned to Trixie.
“You tried to sell the firework on the black market!” She yelled.
“I just wanted an estimate!” Trixie whined in retort.
Starlight facehoofed and groaned. “We need to figure out what to do, Trixie! The entire wrath of the firecracker mafia is coming down on Ponyville. We need to find Al Capony.”
Trixie stomped in determination. “You’re right Starlight, we need to find Al Capony and warn him to get out before his brilliant mind is blown to smithereens!”
Starlight gawked at her friend, then facehoofed again.
“And now we’re screwed.” Starlight whined as she rested her head in the crook of Maud’s neck. Maud patted the back of her head gently as she looked at Trixie. They had run into Maud on their way to Sugarcube Corner and had quickly collapsed under the pressure of her worried gaze; a detour to the park to discuss was agreed upon. They sat on a park bench and confided to Maud as she listened patiently.
“So, what are you going to do now?” Maud asked monotonously.
Starlight sat up and covered her eyes with her hooves. “I don’t know. There are too many things happening at once. We’re just gonna find Al Capony and see if they know how to deal with this quietly. Or warn them that they should leave. Or turn them in. Or turn ourselves in! I don’t know!”
Starlight watched Maud blink slowly. The rock farmer spoke calmly, “And you couldn’t find out anything new about Al Capony?”
“Bugs seems to believe that Al/Cloudy lives or lived in Ponyville, so Trixie believes that there is a connection there.” Trixie budded in.
“Cloudy?” Maud questioned.
Starlight rubbed her eyes and confirmed. “Yes, remember Cloudy Whistles? That’s the only realish sounding name that we have for Al, but that might just be an alias. That’s what we want to talk to your sister about, she tends to know more about ponies than ponies know about themselves.”
Maud thought it over. “I don’t think that making fireworks is an easy task. Especially one’s as good as Trixie has been describing. Simply acquiring the chemicals alone without garnering suspicion would have been a difficult task.”
“You’re right Maud. We’re looking for somepony with access, money, and technical know-how.” Starlight was intrigued by Maud’s thinking. Aside from being in the company of a friend, she recognized why talking to Maud was so valuable. Maud was one of the smartest ponies that Starlight knew, she was the one that figured out the bog situation and her suggestions were reinvigorating Starlight’s desire to search.
As if she had read her mind, Trixie spoke up, “Maud, Trixie thinks that you could be an invaluable asset to our royal investigation. Would you care to join our search?”
Maud stared at nothing in particular. “I appreciate the offer, but I can’t.”
Both mares sighed in disappointment as they hung their heads. Trixie looked at Maud with pleading eyes. “But why!” she whined, burying her head in Maud’s coat.
“I’ve recently processed some geodes that I need to analyze. It’s my number one priority.” Maud droned.
Trixie and Starlight tried to nod in understanding, but Maud could tell that they were still disappointed. The gray mare’s expression softened ever so slightly as she offered one last word of advice. “After thinking about it. I think it would be in your best interests to keep all of this a secret from Twilight.”
Starlight eschewed her disappointment in favor of surprise. “You don’t think we should tell Twilight about Bugs or his threats?” Starlight whispered.
Maud shook her head silently. “Trixie, you and Bugs know each other. Is it possible that you worked for him in any capacity?”
Trixie cringed at the thought. “Trixie didn’t exactly work for him, we just worked in the same general playing field. Trixie doesn’t associate with his ponies anymore.”
Maud closed her eyes as her guess was confirmed. “But I’m guessing that you still buy and sell on the black market. If the authorities get involved with this, then a lot of ponies could get involved. Good ponies. Ponies that don’t deserve to be lumped in with ponies like Bugs.” She looked at Starlight and Trixie intently waiting for some sort of confirmation that they understood.
Both mares shared a skeptical look before they agreed.
Mrs. Cake excitedly exited the kitchen as she heard Starlight and Trixie enter Sugarcube Corner. She joined her husband at the cash register and happily greeted the unicorns.
The baker wiped her hooves on her apron. “Well, how did it go dearies! Did you find the hidden treasure!”
Starlight smiled at the older mare's enthusiasm, partially wishing that she could share in the joy. “We sure did Mrs. Cake. We had to go to Froggy Bottom Bogg and dig it up. We found a few bits buried.” she declared.
Mr. Cake beamed as he slapped the counter. “Wow girls, that sounds exciting. I wonder whatever happened to that Cloudy Whistles.”
Starlight jumped at the opportunity to segue into what she actually came to talk about. “Cloudy Whistles is actually why we’re here! We wanted to talk to somepony that is knowledgeable about the ponies in this town. Would this be a bad time to talk to Pinkie?”
“Not at all!” A sing-song voice rang out of the kitchen. The kitchen swung open as Pinkie performed a perfect cartwheel to the counter. “Starlight! Trixie! I’m happy to see you!” She chirped as she hopped up and down.
Mrs. Cake placed a hoof on Pinkie’s back in an attempt to calm her down. “Pinkie, I don’t know how you do it. All this energy even after such a long train ride home. You girls can go ahead and take a seat, I’m sure Pinkie can help you out with your quest.”
Pinkie sucked in a mighty gasp as her eyes bulged out of her head. “A QUEST! You girls did a quest! Tell Pinkie! Tell Pinkie!” Pinkie jumped over the counter and ensnared Trixie and Starlight in a crushing hug. “Did you meet a wizard! Did they have a staff! Did they give you candy!”
Starlight tried to loosen the grip that Pinkie had around her neck. “No…no wizard. But…we do…have a few questions” she choked out.
They crumpled to the floor as Pinkie released them. She pranced around in anticipation.
“Cloudy Cloud, Cloudy Cumulus, Cloudy Storm, Cloudy Sky, Cloudy Day,” Pinkie drew in one last breath of air before finishing. “Aaaaaand Cloudy McClouderson!” She chirped out and lifted a hoof as emphasis.
Starlight blinked several times as she tried to remember what key decision brought her to this point. Pinkie didn’t recognize the name Cloudy Whistles so she offered to name every Cloudy that she knew in alphabetical order. Starlight was quick to shut her down, but she should have known that a simple, “No, thank you,” wasn’t enough. It seems that Pinkie had taken it upon herself to name the, at least, three hundred Cloudy’s that she knew in the chronological order of when she met them. Starlight had to admit that it was an impressive feat, but it was also an incredible waste of time.
Trixie had long since fallen asleep. The magician had tried to stay focused by repeatedly bumping her head against the table, but the sweet call of sleep had continued to beckon to her. She had no choice but to succumb to the darkness, Starlight tried not to feel jealous of her. She gently nudged her friend awake. Trixie snorted as she slowly revived herself.
“Is it over?” she mumbled as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.
Pinkie was still smiling. She giddily vibrated in her seat as she awaited their next question. Starlight was hesitant to ask for any more help, but Pinkie had shown that she had a growth of knowledge cultivating in that skull of her’s. Starlight just had to pick at it cautiously.
“Alright Pinkie. I need you to think of all the ponies who lived in this town between when you came to the day of the Ponyville time capsules burying. I need you to name three, only three, ponies that best fit this description. Intelligent. Moderately wealthy. Access to chemicals. Secretive. Good at negotiating. Go.” Starlight said as slowly and carefully as possible.
Pinkie began to process the information placed into her mental search bar. Her eyes twinkled and shined as she computed potential answers. She pressed an imaginary buzzer as she came up with an answer. “Ooh Twilight Spa- Wait no she wasn’t here. No… no, Auto Maton! Wait… he’s not even real.” Starlight facehoofed while Pinkie stuck out her tongue and thought harder. “Let’s see hmmmmmmmmmm. Nurse Redheart was here! And so was Dr. Fauna! One more… ok oh Dr. Hooves! He’s super smart!”
A squeal could be heard in the area surrounding Sugarcube Corner as Starlight wrapped Pinkie in a hug. Pinkie rocked them from side-to-side as she giggled in glee. “Thanks, Pinkie. This might be something we can work with.” She clapped her hooves together and hi-hoofed Trixie.
“Yippee I love to help my friends! But Starlight, can I ask you a question now?” Pinkie begged.
Taking the risk of spiraling down another one of Pinkie’s rabbit holes, Starlight obliged. “Sure, thing Pinkie.”
Pinkie rubbed her hooves together and licked her lips. “Why did you specifically need ponies from between when I came to Ponyville and the burying of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule?”
Leave it to Pinkie to ask a tricky question. Twilight wanted to keep this whole situation under wraps. Starlight let out a sigh. “I asked because we accidentally dug up the time capsule when we were installing the new lab.” Seeing that Pinkie was about to shout something potentially incriminating, Starlight rushed to cut her off. “But this is a secret, okay! I have a feeling that you would somehow pop up and find out anyway so it’s fine that you know now. Try not to tell anypony else though. Except for maybe Rarity and Applejack. But nopony else!”
“Okay!” Pinkie chirped. It was an uncharacteristically succinct response from the pink pony but not an unwelcome one. “Did you find any weird stuff in there! How about the movie that Steadicam and I made about the town.”
The mares laughed at the thought of the short Ponyville documentary. Trixie decided that she wanted to contribute to the conversation. “We did see an excerpt of that cinematic masterpiece. Trixie must ask. Did you actually need those glasses that you wore?”
An oven in the kitchen dinged as Pinkie placed a hoof to her cheek and giggled. “Oh yeah. Those ole things. My eyesight got really really really really bad a couple years after I moved here. I had to wear those big magnifying glasses on my eyes which made it super-duper hard to flip and twitch and hop and saunter and spin around without breaking them into a bunch of little pieces. And Mrs. Cake was all, ‘Pinkie dearie, you better not break those glasses again or you’ll be in big trouble young mare!’ But I couldn’t help it, they just kept breaking! So, they gave me contacts, but they made my eyeballs all itchy witchy scratchy watchy. So, I had to super sneakily stop wearing those too.”
“Wait. So, you’re not wearing your glasses or your eye contacts?”
Pinkie squinted as she looked at the blobs of purple and blue. “Nopers…Trixie? Aunty Pinkie is seeing this world raw!”
A staunch silence overtook the table as each mare ruminated on their conversation. After taking a moment to reflect on all of her past experiences with the party pony, Starlight suggested to Trixie that they take their leave. Both mares said their goodbyes to the Cakes and Pie before departing from the establishment. Pinkie leaned against a counter and tearfully waved a handkerchief at them. Her dramatic farewell was disrupted by Mrs. Cake tapping her on the shoulder.
“I couldn’t help but overhear you say that you haven’t been wearing your glasses or contacts despite telling me otherwise for years.”
At times like these, Pinkie knew the importance of finding humor in the little things. It was through this talent that she had endured and survived so many trials and tribulations. She had stood against Nightmare Moon, she had toiled with the likes of Discord, she had blasted away changelings, and watched as Tirek ravaged her nation. Through it all, she had prevailed with a smile on her face. But as Mrs. Cake polished off her ‘I am very very very upset with you Pinkie!’ scoldy face, Pinkie couldn’t find a single thing to laugh about.
The floor of Pinkie’s bedroom creaked as Rainbow Dash collapsed onto it in a laughing fit. A gentle breeze blew in through the doors of Pinkie’s balcony as Rainbow scrambled to close them. She grabbed at her sides and tried to regain her breath before addressing her friend. “I guess you were feeling nostalgic after today's news, egghead!”
She broke out into another fit and doubled over. Pinkie stood by with a sullen pout as she readjusted her glasses.
“It’s not like I wanted to wear these things! Mrs. Cake found out that I haven’t been wearing my contacts and is making me wear these until a new order comes in. I didn’t even know that she still had these stored away.” Pinkie whined and flopped onto her bed, burying her face into a pillow while Rainbow Dash composed herself.
“Alright, I’m good. I’m sorry for laughing Pinks. You just caught me off guard.” The pegasus laid down on the bed beside Pinkie and stared at the ceiling. She began to feel heavier as she remembered why she came over. “Did they come by to visit?”
The pillow ruffled as Pinkie adjusted herself. “Yep. Just like you said. They asked a couple of questions.” she mumbled.
Rainbow hated to admit it. “Pinkie, this is a mess.” She shivered at the thought of what could go wrong.
Pinkie studied her headboard and sighed. “I know Dashie. It’s a big old stinky, smelly mess that we gotta clean up.” She wanted to say more but she was distracted by a knock at her door. She groaned and sat up. “Mrs. Cake! I'm still wearing them, just like I promised!”
“It’s not Mrs. Cake, it’s Maud. Open up Pinkie.”
Pinkie and Rainbow shared a glance before the baker went to open the door. She opened it enough to squeeze her head through. “Hiya Maud!” she chirped. Her smile dissolved as she recognized the signs of a stressed-out Maud Pie. The older Pie’s strong hooves gripped the door and forced it all the way open. She came in, shut the door, and made sure that it was locked.
Cyan eyes peered directly into cyan eyes as Maud spoke sternly, “Pinkie, what did you do?”
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
“Pinkie dearie. It's time to wake up.”
Mrs. Cake said sweetly as she stood at the door. There was no response from the darkness, no indication of life or presence. She squinted into the dark of Pinkie’s bedroom, spotting a lump nestled into a cocoon of blankets. She knew that, for one reason or another, Pinkie was intent on not hearing her wake-up call. The baker rolled up her imaginary sleeves and entered the dark.
“Pinkie, I’m coming in.”
Despite hearing her mentor, Pinkie still didn’t move. She laid on her side and hoped that Mrs. Cake might let her sleep in just this once, that she might see Pinkie’s unconscious body and choose to try again tomorrow. Maybe she didn’t know that the pink filly was already awake and listening. That she had heard the mare’s hoofsteps as she approached the room, that she had heard soft warning knocks and the shrill creak of the door’s hinges as she slipped through. That she had heard the sound of Mrs. Cake accidentally stepping on one of the various toys that she had left on the floor and the subsequent curse that the baker had whispered under her breath. With pinpoint accuracy, light siphoned out of the hallway and into Pinkie’s bedroom. She could feel the dull luminescence illuminating her blanket. She clenched her eyes shut and curled in a little tighter, trying to hold onto every last inkling of rest that she could.
She twitched under the blanket as hooves pressed onto her side. She rocked back and forth as Mrs. Cake spoke more firmly. “You have to get up dear.”
The blankets whined as a mess of pink curls erupted from them. Mrs. Cake took the liberty of ruffling them around a bit, eliciting another whine. Pinkie emerged with a pout. “Good morning Mrs. Cake.” she mumbled wearily.
Mrs. Cake smiled warmly at her apprentice. “Good morning, Pinkie. I hope you’re ready to get to baking!” Mrs. Cake swung a hoof encouragingly as she tried to bring some positivity in. She studied Pinkie’s exhausted state and sighed. “You didn’t stay up late last night again, did you?” Mrs. Cake questioned with a mix of concern and disapproval.
“No.” Pinkie lied as if she hadn’t spent the night obsessing over what she had not helped, not fixed, and not built.
The pink filly was no stranger to waking early, growing up on a farm meant rising with the sun and falling with it. Being a baker was much the same, as fresh bread and breakfast were prepared for the morning rush hours before it started. Maybe losing her morning ponyness was the final act of shedding her past life. Not that Pinkie ever wanted to ruminate on her life before Ponyville. She didn’t want to think of rock farms or any of the ponies that worked on them. She rolled out of bed and put on her glasses as Mrs. Cake gave her 15 minutes to get ready. Peeking over the window, she could see a sliver of orange at the bottom of the night’s sky.
Once she exited her bedroom, she took a moment to stare at the door at the end of the hall. She silently bemoaned the fact that something that seemed so promising and excited mere months ago had become so daunting and intimidating. She felt smaller in its presence and wished that she had never asked to take on such a responsibility. The door led to another bedroom, more of an apartment in truth. It had a staircase that led up the spiral of Sugarcube Corner’s cupcake and had its own balcony that overlooked the street. The Cakes had promised Pinkie that she could have that room when she completed her apprenticeship and came of age. An adult room for an adult pony. But as adulthood rapidly approached, Pinkie had begun to feel apprehensive. The room was so big and Pinkie so small. She struggled to imagine how she could possibly fit into it. She wasn’t who she was supposed to be, how could she ever make a place here?
A low and horrible voice croaked from the room, “Are you ready for another day of completely and utterly failing at your job? ”
Pinkie grimaced, terrified of the potential danger hiding in that room. She laughed it off, deciding she that must be hearing things. She knew that she was tired and that it was a bad idea to think too hard when she was tired. She opted instead to ponder what paint swatches complimented the room best. It was the type of query that was aesthetically challenging, but existentially unchallenging. She decided that she would confer with Rarity a little more on the matter as she made her way downstairs.
Pinkie gave the trash can one final shake before she closed the dumpster. She looked around the alleyway, ensuring that she was alone, before slumping against a wall and taking a breather. It was around the time that Sugarcube Corner would be at a lull, meaning that the Cakes probably wouldn’t mind Pinkie stepping out for a second. She reached into her mane and pulled out a twinkie. The pink filly reveled in the thrill of unwrapping the forbidden treat, or as Mr. Cake described them, “the unnaturally colored, overprocessed, flavorless insults to actual quality baked goods.”
She unhinged her jaw to chow down when she heard a familiar voice.
“Darling, I have to say that in all my years I have never seen such an asymmetrical coiffure!”
Fluttershy suppressed a giggle as trotted alongside Rarity, which was a sight that was becoming common in Ponyville. After attending Pinkie’s Summer Sun Celebration celebration, Pinkie had noticed Fluttershy accompanying Rarity around town more often. She was happy to see it, she loved it when new ponies came to town and Fluttershy was no exception. The pegasus’ quiet disposition reminded Pinkie of her baby sister. But unlike Pinkie’s sister, Fluttershy had yet to betray her, Fluttershy liked her parties, and Fluttershy actually believed in her. Or at least Pinkie hoped that she did.
“Yeah right! If your own family doesn’t believe in you then nopony will! ” A dark voice uttered from nowhere in particular.
Pinkie looked around in shock and hurt, but nopony was around. She looked at the ground and spotted a lone pebble.
“Did you say that Mr. Pebble?” Pinkie muttered as she shot the stone a death glare.
Mr. Pebble didn’t respond, nopony did.
The silence in the alleyway was suffocating and it wasn’t because of all the rotting trash in the dumpster. Pinkie stuffed her uneaten twinkie back into her mane and put her game face on. The energy changed immediately as she stepped onto the main streets of Ponyville. A million eyes fell on her at once, as ponies waved and smiled. Seeing their joy tugged at her heart, just as it always had. Even if, recently, her smile felt a little less genuine than it should. Pinkie shook her head with a hoof, trying to dislodge whatever was making her feel so upside down.
She absentmindedly waved to Roseluck as she spotted Rarity up the street. The party pony took a deep breath and ran around in a circle, gaining speed with each loop. She launched herself forward and hurtled toward her friend.
“Rarity! Fluttershy!” Pinkie bellowed as she came to an abrupt stop beside the other fillies.
The pair greeted her less enthusiastically, but they smiled nonetheless. Pinkie smiled back as convincingly as she could. She fiddled with her hooves and studied the ground. She knew that there was no reason to be scared of Rarity because Rarity was one of her best friends. One of the first friends that she ever made. They had even stayed friends when Rarity went away to pursue her studies, and now they’re even better friends than ever. She looked at her friend and found her confidence.
“Rarity! I was thinking about what colors I ought to paint my future room and I think you were right about not using double bubble neon pink. It’s a great color but it does really attack the ole eyeballs. Like BLAGH.” Pinkie hopped up on her hind legs to emphasize her point and waved her arms, Fluttershy let out an “eep” as she moved back.
“You were right about using a more not-so-nice and vibrant color! So, I was thinking that you could offer your expertise on the matter. Maybe we could hang out this week and pick out new colors.” Pinkie asked as she batted her eyelashes and cupped her hooves.
Rarity shook her head with an apologetic smile. “Well Pinkie darling I would love to help, but I fear that work has been keeping me quite busy.”
Pinkie’s ears flattened against her head as she nodded in understanding. Rarity recognized the dejection in her friend’s disposition and offered advice.
“Pinkie, I’m happy to see that you recognize that neutral tones are the way to go. Pick out some swatches first and maybe I can make the time to take a look.” She offered Pinkie a comforting smile as she patted her shoulder.
Pinkie’s mood seemed to improve significantly as she hopped about. “Sure thing Rarity!” she chirped.
Seeing Pinkie happy again eased Rarity’s mind as she signaled to Fluttershy that they could keep moving. Pinkie hopped in place and waved wildly as she watched them go. It was only when they were out of sight that the party pony abruptly stopped. Her smile dissolved as she pawed at the ground.
“She’s never busy when it comes to hanging out with Fluttershy.” Pinkie muttered to herself.
“Well, that’s because she is not completely embarrassed to be seen with Fluttershy! ” The voice taunted from afar.
Pinkie whipped her head around to see the meanie that was always mocking her. Her eye twitched as she studied every face on every pony in the area, but none of those faces matched that voice. She hung her head as she joined the stream of ponies walking in the opposite direction.
“Hiya Applejack! How ya doing today.” Pinkie said with as much positivity that she could muster.
Her only response was a groan as Applejack leaned onto her stall and buried her head in her hooves. Pinkie smiled awkwardly and put some more pep into her words.
“I hope that was a happy ‘argh’ instead of a saddy ‘argh’ Applejack. It’s such a nice day today and it’s always nice to see you.” There was a small burst of confetti as Pinkie lifted her arms up in excitement.
Applejack rolled her eyes and bit her tongue. She sighed and wiped her disheveled mane out of her eyes. “You know Pinkie, I’m real busy today. Why don’t ya go on head back to Sugarcube Corner. I don’t need you gettin’ in the way of ponies buyin’ their apples.”
A slight breeze went through the market as ponies bought and sold their goods. It was a normally busy day and most stalls had lines of ponies waiting to purchase. Pinkie looked around, fearing that she might have missed somepony waiting in Applejack’s line, but nopony was around.
The pink filly looked at Applejack in concern. “But there’s nopony here, Applejack.”
Applejack looked at Pinkie apathetically with dim eyes. “It don’t matter, Pinkie. Somepony ought to show up soon and I don’t want you hangin’ around here when they do. I can’t do my job if you’re bouncin’ around and botherin’ me.”
Pinkie pouted at her friend and looked at all four of her stationary hooves. “But I’m not bouncing around Applejack.” she whimpered.
Orange hooves tapped the Apple family’s stall as Applejack grasped at her rapidly depleting patience. She rubbed her aching temple.
“Pinkie. Go. Away.” she commanded sternly.
Pinkie looked at her best friend with hurt. She laughed breathlessly and turned away. “Okay Applejack, see you later.” Pinkie mumbled.
She retreated from her friend with a half-hearted skip. Her surroundings blurred as she made her way through town. She tried to keep her head up despite the heaviness of her heart. Her ears perked as an unknown voice sounded from everywhere.
“She was right to send you away. Nopony wants to be around you, not for real. You’re so pathetic! You call Applejack your ‘best friend’ but you can’t even make her smile. She hates you! And so does everypony else! And if they don’t, then they pity you. ” The voice disparaged, prompting Pinkie to move faster.
The party pony bumped a hoof against her head as she tried to shake whatever mean bug had crawled into her ears. She gingerly opened the backdoor of Sugarcube Corner and entered the kitchen, taking in a deep inhale of the sweet smells as she slumped against the door.
Mr. Cake paused his stirring to acknowledge her. “Good, you’re back Pinkie! You should go ahead and start setting up little Tulip’s party. The colts and fillies should be arriving soon.”
Pinkie’s head rested against the door wearily as she tried to steady her breathing.
Pinkie smiled in satisfaction as she expertly placed the final present on the gift table. She stepped back and corrected her glasses as she studied the table to ensure that it had the maximum party fun potential. The positioning of the presents framed the birthday cake perfectly. Pinkie knew that the scene would be positively perfect once all the foals were seated and the candles were lit. She put a hoof to her ear and listened to the cheerful laughter of foals and the subdued conversation of adults. She was tweaking the position of one of the gifts when she heard the little voice behind her.
“Um… Ms. Pinkie?”
Pinkie turned to find Tulip and several other foals behind her. At first, she giggled at the idea of ponies not much younger than her referring to her as a ‘Ms.’, but then she saw their frowns. She studied them with concern and fear.
“Wow, you can’t even throw a party for babies right. ” The voice called from behind the gift table.
“What’s wrong Tulip? Are you not having fun?” Pinkie questioned, trying not to sound too disappointed.
The voice whispered into Pinkie’s ear. “Of course they’re not having fun at this stupid party .”
Pinkie’s breath hitched as she looked at the foals expectedly. She was relieved to see Tulip shake her head fervidly. “No, no Ms. Pinkie! We’re having lots of fun…but…”
A colt stepped forward and held up a mangled contraption made of scraps of various machinery. A bottle of bubbles hung limply from the device and dripped onto the floor.
Tulip looked at her. “We broke the bubble blower that you gave us. We were really careful with it, honest! But we got super excited and knocked it over. I’m sorry.”
A chorus of little apologies was spoken as Pinkie relaxed. She blew a raspberry as she ruffled Tulip’s mane, then picked up the broken bubble blower. “Oh, this old thing? Nothing to worry about kids! I’ll have it fixed up in no time. Easy build, easy fix.”
Tulip looked up in wonderment. She pointed at the device. “You built that Ms. Pinkie?”
Pinkie nodded as she analyzed the blower in her hooves. “Yeppers. I pieced it together from an old pasta maker and a blender!”
A voice chuckled from behind her. “Of course she doesn’t believe that an idiot like you could make anything worthwhile! ”
The foals watched curiously as Pinkie turned around suddenly. The twitches of her ears were the only movements that she made. Even the foals knew that it was unusual to see the pink pony so still. They might have gone to get help from an adult had Pinkie not turned around with a broad grin.
She reached into her mane and pulled out a blindfold triumphantly.
“Who wants to play pin the tail on the pony!”
She beamed as all the foals threw up their hooves in joy. She trailed behind them but was briefly distracted by the soaring rainbow outside the window. Ponyville had been seeing an increase in rainbows over the past few weeks and Pinkie knew who was behind it. She had only met Rainbow Dash a few times, but she admired the pegasus’ aptitude for flying and her magnificent mane. It reminded her of the greatest day of her life, the day when her future looked so clear. Pinkie felt so uninhibited on that day when she was too young to understand that dreams are different from actions.
She knew that it wasn’t a good idea to imagine herself with a nice pair of wings, but the more that her days dragged on, the more she saw herself soaring above the clouds. Above the voices, the pity, and the failures. In flight, she would know what it meant to be truly free.
Mrs. Cake spooned yams onto her plate, then passed the bowl to her husband. She grabbed for the salad bowl and was surprised to see that so much of it was left. She looked up at Pinkie to make sure that she had gotten her good share of veggies for dinner before letting out a sigh.
Pinkie sat in her usual seat, but she wasn’t eating. Her plate had been pushed off to the side to make space for her bubble blower. She held a screwdriver in her muzzle and tilted her head in thought. Mrs. Cake cleared her throat loudly, only managing to garner her husband's attention but not her apprentices. She opted just to be direct.
“Pinkie! Dearie, Put that away it's time for dinner.”
The apprentice spit out her screwdriver and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry Mrs. Cake. I was just trying to fix my bubble blower!” She put a thoughtful hoof to her chin and continued, “You know, I’ve got much better tools in the basement! If you just let me go do-”
“Pinkie, we’ve already talked about this. You are not to go down in that basement for any reason.” Mrs. Cake scolded. She pulled over Pinkie’s plate and began putting food onto it.
“But it’s been weeks since I last went down, Mrs. Cake. I said I was really really super-duper sorry! I’ll just go down and fix this one little bittle tiny winy thing.” Pinkie whined.
Both of the older ponies shook their heads. Mr. Cake took a sip from his glass before picking up from where his wife left off.
“Pinkie, last time you went down there you caused an earthquake that the entirety of Ponyville felt. There was so much smoke coming out of there that we had to close up the bakery for a whole day!”
Pinkie could see her glasses fogging up. She blinked a few times and swallowed. “I know and I went around and apologized to everypony for it! It’ll never happen again.”
Mr. Cake placed a hoof on the table. “But what if it does! You’re lucky to have just burned off your eyebrows, but what about next time? We were fine about letting you down there when we thought you were building little trinkets, we had no idea that you were trying to build an entire cannon!”
Pinkie rubbed her hooves together anxiously. “But it’s not a cannon. It's a party cannon! I just have to work out some of th-”
“Pinkie, enough!” Mrs. Cake spoke with utter authority, prompting Pinkie to crumple in her seat. “We have spoken about this many times. Carrot and I have told you our decision and it is final.”
Pinkie’s plate was hoofed back to her as Pinkie lifted up her glasses to wipe her eyes with a napkin. Mrs. Cake’s expression softened as she watched her apprentice sniffle and put her contraption under her chair.
“I don’t like scolding you really. Neither of us does, but you need to listen dearie. How about you devote your time to something else? I noticed that you haven’t opened any of the letters that your family sent you. They’re really worried about you honey. And you have more recipes to study and perfect. You want to finish your apprenticeship and become a full-time baker, don’t you?”
She only received a half-hearted nod as Pinkie stared pitifully down at her plate. The pink filly could barely hear her mentor over the sound of voices ridiculing her outside.
“Like a moron like you could ever finish that stupid cannon! ”
“You couldn’t even build a bubble blower that was sturdy enough to be played with. ”
“Why are you so scared to open those letters, Pinkie? Afraid your parents probably and rightfully disowned you! Angry that they’re probably happy that you’re finally gone for good! Sad that they were completely right to have zero faith in you! ”
“Honestly, I wouldn’t believe you either. ”
“Sweet Celestia, what a disappointment. ”
“You’re lucky that the Cakes feel obligated to care for you, but for how much longer. ”
“I wouldn’t even bother entertaining the idea of becoming a baker, a fool like you has no place doing an actual job that requires functioning brain cells. ”
“Perhaps you should go back down into that basement and have another try at building the cannon. Maybe this explosion will finally free everypony of you and your embarrassing excuses for parties. ”
The Cakes were startled when Pinkie suddenly slammed her forehooves on the table and stood up. “Thank you for dinner, I’m going to bed now!” There were tears in her eyes as she threw the bubble blower in the trash and booked it upstairs.
Pinkie had locked herself in her room. She had spent an hour or two in a fetal position, covering her ears to block out all the noise. The Cakes said sweet things to her, they promised that they were here for her, that they loved her. But the voices disagreed. Pinkie didn’t want to listen to any of them. She begged the Cakes and the voices to go away. The Cakes departed with promises of talking in the morning, but the voices persisted in their harassment until Pinkie finally fell into a fitful sleep.
As she slept, she listened to the low guttural call of the room at the end of the hallway. She tossed and turned as she thought of all the things she couldn’t do, of all the ways that she had failed. The room continued to moan, creak, and groan to her. When she finally managed to exit her room in the middle of the night she stared into the darkness and begged it to leave her alone. The door to her future bedroom swung open and closed as it began to speak to her.
“I’ve been trying to talk to you all day. ” The room stated simply.
Pinkie balled up her hooves and tried to remember courage. “I don't want to talk to you, you big meanie! You’re the one that’s been saying all those horrible things to me!”
The door’s hinges creaked as the room sneered at Pinkie. “I wanted nothing more than to tell you the truth. ”
“There’s nothing truthful about what you said! You said that friends are embarrassed by me and that they hate me! You said that I can never be a baker, that I fail at everything, and… that I shouldn’t even be here anymore.” Pinkie’s voice lost some of its vigor near the end of her statement, but she still stood as defiantly as she could against her foe.
“But Pinkie, I was being truthful. As an adult pony room, I know the importance of recognizing the truth, of understanding reality. You don’t live in the real world; you live in a foalish fantasy land where you’re somepony worth caring for. ”
“B-but…I…That’s not true!” Pinkie cried out as she held her chest.
“But it is true. We both know it. Rarity doesn’t want to hang out with you because you humiliate her just by being yourself. Applejack despises you, and it's not just because she’s sad or angry. She sees the truth. She knows that you are a lunatic that will only distract her. Had the Cakes taken in an apprentice with a baking cutiemark, then they would probably have a full-time baker by now. Instead, they have you and you barely even try anymore. ”
Pinkie choked out a sob as she fiercely rubbed her eyes. “I would try harder and do better if you weren’t always saying such cruel things.”
“It wouldn’t hurt so bad if it weren’t true. You have to face reality Pinkie. You can’t have a job if you don’t work. Where will you go then? There is nopony left, or are you planning to rely on foals like Tulip that aren’t old enough to realize what a loser you are forever? ” The room jeered at her.
Pinkie quivered as the cool chill of the hallway brushed against her fur. “N-no and I’m…I’m not alone.”
“What, are you still considering your family? Your mother and father tried to tell you the truth at that place you used to call home, but you exploded at them. You disrespected your parents, shouted at your older sisters, and made sweet Marble cry. You don’t make any pony happy. You can’t even make yourself happy. ”
The words stung as Pinkie remembered the last time that she was home. “I didn’t mean to do that! I don’t know…I… don’t know why I got so angry and said those stupid things!”
“You said it because everything that you say is stupid. Ponies just tolerate you. You don’t contribute anything. You don’t add anything. You’re not anything. You’re nothing. ”
Sobs echoed throughout the hallway as Pinkie struggled to continue standing. She curled into herself as the room laughed at her. The entire world swirled around her in a flurry. The floor seemed to sink underneath her as she descended further into the carpet.
“You couldn’t make it there. You can’t make it here. What more is there for you Pinkie? Why even bother trying? Only you could make it all go away. ”
She could hear ripping as the darkness consumed her.
The bed creaked underneath her as Pinkie awoke with a start. It seemed that she had fallen asleep on top of her comforter while weeping. She wiped her nose and looked around her room. She saw various noise makers and streamers strewn across her floor. A pile of letters lay on her dresser, carefully written, yet left unread. Taped to her dresser mirror was a recipe card for pavlova. There was a calendar full of events and celebrations sitting on her desk surrounded by markers and glitter. Her nightstand had a book, titled Eruptions, Emissions, and Explosions, with the chapter on cannons dog-eared and heavily annotated. A poster of Auto Maton hung on her wall, the character looked beyond with a mischievous and excited smile.
Pinkie looked at him as he rode upon a board with four propellers on each corner and carried his trusty wrench. She lay on her side and studied the poster. Despite being an earth pony, Auto Maton had managed to soar. The brown and rusting city of Steamquestria was reduced to specks as he flew high above; his triumphant smile was a testimony to his brilliance and perseverance.
Trembling hooves made their way to Pinkie's nightstand, and she picked up Eruptions, Emissions, and Explosions. She shook the book and watched as loose papers dislodged themselves and cascaded onto her bed. She tossed the book to the side and took a cursory look at the crude drawings on each sheet. The primary images drawn were sketches of cannons with the occasional side project. She tried not to reflect too hard on the sheer number of concepts she had drawn despite seeing little to no success or progress. She moved ‘Party Cannon Concept #193’ aside to find what she was looking for, her own concept for a flying machine. The idea was simple; a propeller powered by pedaling. She held up the sketch to Auto Maton’s poster.
“What do you think? Is this no good either?” Pinkie implored.
Auto Maton didn’t move.
“Please. I really need you right now.” Pinkie begged.
Auto Maton blinked a few times to test his mobility. He moved his head to look around before his entire body and world became unstuck. The wind rippled through his silver mane as his propellers whirled him forward. His board left behind a steam trail as he moved as close to Pinkie’s sketch as he could. As if stopped by a window or barrier, Auto Maton was trapped within the confines of his poster, but he still tried to cheer up the sweet filly in front of him.
“That old doom room giving you a tough time again, Pinks?”
“Yeah…but I want you to look at my sketch please.” Pinkie muttered as she brought the sketch closer.
Auto squinted and pressed a hoof to his chin as he studied Pinkie’s idea. He hummed to himself before pulling his board back. “It’s quite different from my flying device here but it looks like a good idea. You just have to be strong enough to power it yourself.”
Pinkie looked down at her long and scrawny adolescent legs. “I might be able to do that, I guess.”
Auto weaved through a series of clouds as he observed Pinkie’s uncharacteristically reticent behavior. “Is that all you wanted to talk about Pinkie? You seem…down. You know you can talk to me, right? I might be a poster, but I’m also your friend.”
Pinkie put down her sketch and sniffed. “I don't know...I just feel... upside down, and I don't know why. Everything was okay, and then it wasn't. And no matter how hard I try to make it okay...it...I-I just can't fix it.”
“Then don’t.” Auto stated it so matter-of-factly that it left Pinkie flabbergasted. He dipped his board down to avoid a formation of geese.
“You heard me Pinkie! Don’t fix it. Well… maybe not all at once. Just find something else to distract you from the old doom room gloom if you're not ready to face it. Build confidence by finding something to focus on. No point in making things worse by not understanding it while trying to fix it.”
Pinkie looked at him in confusion. “Like what?”
“I don’t know Pinkie, anything. Sometimes thinking outside the box helps us get to the center of a problem. There are times when you find the solution for the problem when you’ve stopped trying to solve it.” Auto held out his hooves to gesture to everything.
Pinkie looked around her room for anything. Her eyes fell upon her book again and her body began to convulse and vibrate violently. Auto flew closer to the barrier of the poster and gawked at her. When the shaking stopped, Pinkie’s eyes spun around in her head as she reached around to find her glasses.
She grabbed her head and flinched at the minor headache starting. She smiled as she picked up Eruptions, Emissions, and Explosions and read the random page that the book had opened to. She was mystified by what she saw. “Woah, that sure is a doozy!”
She held up the book for Auto to see and he too was mystified.
“Holy wingnut, Pinkie!”
“I know!” Pinkie smiled a genuine smile for the first time in what felt like ages.
Her mind was beginning to race as she flipped through the chapter. Auto did a couple of spins on his flying machine to celebrate before he had an ingenious thought.
“You know Pinkie, it’s real difficult to get your hoovsies on one of those bad boys. Some ponies would probably pay a hoof and another hoof for one of those.”
“You think so?” Pinkie scratched her head.
“I know so!” Auto cheered.
“But what would I do with all those bits, and who would I sell them to, and where would I build them?”
There was silence as the two pondered Pinkie’s questions. Auto chuckled as a brilliant idea came to him.
“You may not need the bits Pinks, but I’m sure you know some ponies who do.”
Pinkie jumped up with a gasp, raising her hoof enthusiastically. Auto jokingly pointed to her, signaling her to speak.
“I have a crazy idea. Auto… are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Pinkie got close to the poster and studied Auto with a protruding eye.
Auto beamed at her and triumphantly declared, “Of course I’m thinking what you’re thinking Pinkie! I’m a psychological manifestation of your subconscious!”
“I know!” Pinkie squealed as she laid back on her bed. She kicked her hooves about in excitement.
“This is my best idea yet!”
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
The sound of crickets chirping was muffled as Pinkie shut her balcony doors. She took a moment to appreciate the sight of the faint rainbow that Dash produced whenever she glided through the skies. Pinkie had asked Rainbow to leave, and Rainbow had happily obliged after sensing the brewing tension between the sisters. Pinkie wished that she could do the same, but she had responsibilities to uphold. She gazed over the banister and saw that Maud still stood stoic and unmoving. She sighed as she walked back down to the main floor of the loft. She looked at her sister with worry, trying not to give into her own poor mood. A lifetime of knowing her sister meant that she could read Maud much easier than the average pony. She observed the little cracks and identified a big bundle of stress under the flatness.
The party pony was also stressed, but she hoped that their anguish was drawn from differing sources. In a perfect world, Maud wouldn’t know anything about this, but the world is far from perfect. Maud is close friends with Starlight and Trixie, which means that the unicorns might have utilized Maud’s big brain to investigate Cloudy Whistles. Pinkie probably would have done the same if she were in their situation.
The younger sister also noticed that her older sister was being cold to her. Her tone at the door was not reassuring or supportive, it was authoritative and lecturey. Pinkie wrapped herself in a blanket as she sat on her bed. She hoped that Maud would make herself comfortable as well, but her older sister continued standing there. It hurt Pinkie to see her sister so defensive and cut off. She hugged herself under the blanket and waited, not wanting to start blabbing about one thing if Maud was worried about another. The siblings watched each other wearily before Maud stepped forward to speak.
“Why did you use our mother's name as an alias for your illegal firework cartel?”
Pinkie tried her best not to cringe at her sister’s statement. Bluntness was a common trait in the Pie family. Their parents preferred that their daughters just say what’s on their minds rather than sugarcoat everything. Even Pinkie, with her propensity to run on, tended to speak a little too honestly and boldly. The younger sister took a moment to ponder her next move, but Maud beat her to the punch.
“I know it's you. Starlight and Trixie told me everything. I should have known as soon as I saw the riddle. It just…read like you.”
Pinkie didn’t say anything, she looked at her sister skeptically as she tried to keep her body language in check. She knew the riddle wasn’t her best work, but she wrote it in a rush.
“I thought about the chemical composition of fireworks. Those minerals are not easy to come by if you don’t have a connection. Who helped you, Limestone or Marble? I assume it was Marble? That’s why ma always worried about you two. You two were always getting in trouble, that’s why you and I were always paired together. I could look after you and keep you safe. Now mob ponies are coming to burn this town down.”
Pinkie was really perplexed now, and her face showed it. Almost everything that Maud had said might have been correct, but Pinkie didn’t know anything about ‘mob ponies.’ Her face scrunched up as she searched her brain for any mob ties. In the meantime, Maud had taken to pacing the room as she waited for her sister to say anything at all. A part of her hoped that Pinkie would provide some proof to exonerate herself, allowing Maud to go home and finally rest easy, but her sister’s silence spoke volumes.
“I told Starlight and Trixie to not tell Twilight, which might buy you some time. But I’m not sure how to fix this, I’m worried about you. This was all happening around the time when we had that big fight. I thought you weren’t talking to any of us, but I guess I was wrong. I need you to tell me the truth Pinkamena. This is important and I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”
Pinkie frowned at the use of her full first name but tried not to hold it against her older sister. She dropped the blanket and sat up as straight as possible. A part of her wanted to deal with this as she usually would. Maybe a song or a party, a nice little cupcake, or a warm hug. But now wasn’t the time. It was time for serious Pinke to reemerge. It felt odd to meditate on this specific time in her life. She almost felt smaller and more uncertain of herself, as if she might wake up tomorrow in the Cake twins’ room. Except that it wouldn’t be the Cake twins’ room, it would be her’s again, and she would have to go downstairs and show that she could craft a perfect pavlova to get a checkmark in her apprenticeship book.
She shivered as she pushed up her glasses. “Maud don’t worry your sweet little head about any of this. You don’t need to fix anything. Pinkie’s gonna work this out.”
She smiled at her sister to show that everything would be fine, but Maud only grew more nervous.
Applejack fanned herself with her stetson as the morning sun beat down on her. She had recently returned home from her not-so-relaxing vacation in Appleloosa, and found herself thrown back into her work at Sweet Apple Acres. It’s not that she minded though, she actually enjoyed keeping her hooves busy. She wiped the sweat out of her eye before picking up her hammer in her muzzle. Apple Bloom had informed her that the Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse had endured a bit of damage due to no fault of the Crusaders' own. The way her little sister described it sounded way worse than what it actually was, which might have been a clever strategy on her part. Nonetheless, Applejack set off to fix it right away and was happy to see that the door was only slightly off its hinges.
Having been the one to initially fix it up, Applejack knew that this clubhouse had seen worse days. She grunted as she began hammering, silently praying that the door would stay up once she finished. She gave the door a light tug and grinned when it stayed put, then she opened and closed it a dozen times for good measure. Satisfied with her work, she whistled in accomplishment and placed her toolbox on her back. That’s when she heard that sickening voice from below.
“Looking good, Applejack. Long time no see.”
The toolbox crashed to the ground as Applejack spun around to find the source of the voice. She peered down into the darkness underneath the clubhouse.
“Show yourself, you slimy good for nothin’ snake!” Applejack demanded and stomped a hoof that shook the entire treehouse.
Bugs Marean emerged from its underbelly sporting his usual smirk. He waved to Applejack lazily before pulling out a cigar.
“Now you put that thing away before you smoke all the green out of my trees. What I tell you about comin’ out to these parts again Bugs.”
Bugs eyed her sardonically before stuffing his cigar back into his trench coat. “If I recall correctly, you said something about your back hooves going through my eye sockets. I honestly didn’t believe you at the time, but you’ve certainly proved your valor. I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but you’re kinda famous in the wide world of Equestria”
Applejack scoffed as she centered her hat. “Is that why you’re comin’ round here and stirrin’ things up? You want to blackmail me or somethin’?” Applejack muttered. She was more angry at the moment then she was scared. She was confident that Bugs had nothing on her. It didn’t take long for him to reassure her.
“No, Applejack, no blackmail. We’re just here looking for Al Capony.”
Applejack’s eye twitched at the mention of a collective searching, but she otherwise remained stoic. “I already done told you all those years ago. There ain’t no Al Cawhoey in Ponyville. Y'all ain’t looked in one of them big cities with all the rascals and hoodlums?”
He chuckled and cracked his neck. The mob pony looked at Applejack with a slack expression. “To think, after all these years. The Element of Honesty is still lying about the same old thing.”
Applejack was taken aback as she stared in awe and disgust. Her muscles tensed as she prepared to do one of three things. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” she muttered.
The leaves of the trees rustled as Bugs shook his head. “I’m talking about the original Al Capony firework that somepony tried to sell out of this very town Applejack. I’m not sure if you or someone on your team decided to get back in the business, but that moron didn’t even try to hide it. I always knew that this town was hiding that crook and now I’m here to collect.”
“The ponies of this town ain’t got nothin’ to do with your kind Bugs!” Applejack declared with intensity.
“Well then why did Al Capony step all over our territory then, huh? You think we were ever gonna let this go?” Bugs had been a master of keeping his cool, but at this moment even his tone became fiercer.
His shoulder tensed at the mere thought of all that Al Capony accomplished in less than a year. The thousands of bits that must have flooded the pockets of that backwater pony as he dismantled the underground firework market. The ponies who suffered because they depended on Bugs’ leadership and business to survive. He ground his teeth and looked at Applejack.
“Listen kid, I don’t care who you’ve become, because I know exactly who you were. Years ago, we stood in this very spot and you lied to me. You said that there, ‘ain’t no such thing as an Al Cawhoozy,’ and I took your word for it. We even looked the other way when rumors of our ponies burning down this stupid treehouse were spread around. You were always so careful, but now somepony finally bucked up.” Bugs sneered and looked at Applejack smugly.
Applejack swallowed as she snorted. A gust of air escaped her nostrils as she looked at Bugs with contempt. She spoke slowly and lowly, “I’m goin’ to give you 30 seconds to get off my property before I beat the Tartarus out of you.” She revved her hooves up in preparation for a chase.
Bugs rolled his eyes as he popped his collar, he disappeared with a mighty beat of his wings. Applejack shaded her eyes with a hoof as she looked up and watched him grow smaller. She surveyed her surrounding to ensure that nopony else was stalking her before collapsing backward. Her body hit the side of the CMC clubhouse with a thud , eliciting a grunt from the apple farmer.
She covered her face with her hooves and tried not to shake too much. Now that he was gone, Applejack couldn’t help but feel disorientated. She lowered her hat over her eyes in hopes of easing her panic, but she also knew that there were thousands of things that were about to go wrong at once. She blew out some air from her mouth as she rested her head against the wall and cursed to herself.
“Buck.”
Twilight Sparkle dropped her scrolls when she was ambushed by a flurry of confetti. She barely had any time to let out a, “gah,” before a pair of familiar pink hooves wrapped around her neck. Twilight instinctually reciprocated, wrapping her hooves around Pinkie and allowing herself to be tackled to the floor in a crushing bear hug.
“I missed you, Twilight!” Pinkie shouted as her smile stretched impossibly wide.
Twilight beamed and nuzzled her friend. “Pinkie! It’s good to see you. How was y- Oh Woah, you’re wearing the glasses!”
Twilight held Pinkie out at a hoof distance as she studied Pinkie’s smiling face. The alicorn knew that a coincidence like this was unusual, but Pinkie was a very unusual pony.
Pinkie lifted her glasses up and down with a hoof, before performing a well-executed hoof stand. “Yeppers! Mrs. Cake found out I may have not been wearing my contacts for the last couple of years. So ole Pinkies going old school!” She flailed her back hooves in the air and giggled.
“So, you haven't been wearing your contacts this whole time? Is your eyesight…not that bad?” Twilight didn’t know why she was starting to feel anxious as she rubbed her hooves together.
The party pony blew an upside-down raspberry. “Oh Twilight, my eyesight is absolutely terrible! Speaking of which~” Pinkie sang as she sprang up into a standing position.
She disappeared for a brief moment before reappearing by Twilight’s side. She grabbed one of her friend’s wings and practically buried her face in it.
“Wowie McWowerson! Twilight! You’re an alicorn!” Pinkie diagnosed.
Twilight blinked in confusion, she thought she had grown past blinking in confusion when it came to Pinkie, but Pinkie always found a way.
“Er…Pinkie? I’ve been an alicorn for some time now.”
Pinkie giggle-snorted as she delicately studied Twilight’s feathers. “Oh, I know Twilight. But I’ve never actually seen alicorn Twilight. I never actually got to see unicorn Twilight or any pony that I met post-glasses.”
“You’ve had no idea what I’ve looked like this whole time!”
“Nopey!” Pinkie chirped and waved her forehooves around in circles. “You always just kinda looked like a big purple blob and Spikey was a smaller purple blob. But you will always be my most bestest best friend of a big purple blob!”
Another burst of confetti blasted Twilight in the face as Pinkie wrapped herself into her wings and presented her best puppy dog eyes. Twilight sighed as she pulled Pinkie in closer.
“Am I really your bestest best friend of a big purple blob?”
The pink mare’s skull rattled as she nodded her head vigorously. Twilight held a hoof up to her muzzle in a failed attempt to stifle a giggle; Pinkie was quick to join her.
“I liked blob Twilight just fine, but not blob Twilight is super-duper spiffy. And everypony else looks so different from what I imagined of them. Like all of the girls! I just pictured them as I last saw them, but that was yeeeeeeeaaaaarrrrrrrrrrs ago. So now everyponies kinda old. Pretty and not blurry, but old!” Pinkie analyzed the pink stripe in Twilight’s mane.
The alicorn bowed her head to give Pinkie a better view, she smiled as her friend squealed in delight. “Well I’m happy that you finally get to see me Pinkie, this should be a fascinating experience for you. Although, you might want to avoid telling ponies that they look older, especially Rarity.”
The pair giggled to themselves again before Pinkie clapped her hooves together. “You’re right Twilight there are so many things that I need to look at! But first, I want to show you something.”
Pinkie pulled herself out of her and Twilight’s hug and stood in front of Twilight. She held a hoof to her chest, briefly bowed her head, and spoke in her fanciest accent. “I have returned from Canterlot having studied the finest cuisines meant for nobles and royalty. If I may be so bold, I would greatly appreciate the honor of cooking a dessert for her ladyship and Princess of Friendship, Twilight Sparkle.”
Twilight wasn’t a fan of anypony referring to her formally, and this sentiment was doubled when it came to her friends. But Twilight also knew when Pinkie was joking and played along the best she could. She tried not to laugh too much as she stood up and curtsied.
“Madame Pinkamena, the honor would be all mine. Please, lead the way.”
Pinkie beamed as she skipped alongside Twilight to the kitchen. As they made their way down the hall, they spotted Spike holding a comic book.
Pinkie waved to the little dragon. “Hiya Spike! I’m back from Canterlot and I’m gonna whip Twilight up a tasty dish. Care to join us!”
Spike ran over to Pinkie and offered her a hug and a smile. “Absolutely!”
Pinkie squealed with joy as she shot up into the air and spun around. She took a moment to survey her surroundings before turning to Twilight. “The more the merrier! Oooohhh, are Trixie and Starlight here too?”
“I’m sorry Pinkie, Starlight and Trixie are not here. They’ve been err… working on a project recently. They probably won’t be home until late.” Twilight explained with a regretful expression.
“Oh well, I guess Starlight and Trixie will be out for a few hours! Meanwhile, Twilight, Spike, and me will be in the kitchen for one hour, forty-eight minutes, and thirty-three seconds!” Pinkie said loudly.
Spike and Twilight exchanged a confused glance at Pinkie’s odd wording before shrugging and accepting that it was just Pinkie being Pinkie. The party pony happily skipped along as her tail subtly zig-zagged in an odd rhythm. Rainbow Dash watched the signal from her hiding place in the ceiling. Pinkie had told how much time she had to find the firecracker without fear of being caught, she was determined not to let her down.
Ponies all over Ponyville narrowly avoided colliding with the orange blur that rocketed through the streets. Applejack flexed all of her rodeo abilities as she jumped, dodged, and evaded various obstacles and ponies. She knew that it was rude of her to not acknowledge all of the greetings, well-wishes, and chides that she received, but the impending disaster looming over Ponyville was much more important. She didn’t have much of a plan at the moment. After recovering from her initial shock, she galloped back to her home and informed Apple Bloom that the clubhouse was off limits until further notice. Knowing her little sister, Applejack’s explanation was lacking and was probably a call for further investigation. She could only hope that Apple Bloom had seen the fear and anxiety in her warning. She had left almost immediately, galloping into town at maximum speed in pursuit of nopony in particular.
In situations like these, Applejack usually found herself at Twilight’s doorstep. Among many things, Twilight’s level-headedness and expertise were a great comfort and benefit to Applejack. When Twilight first came to Ponyville, having somepony else to rely on for advice or leadership was a blessing to the apple farmer who had grown used to assuming a role of authority in every corner of her life. She could only hope that Twilight felt a similar sense of solidarity when seeking help. That’s why it was so hard for Applejack to imagine who else she could go to during this time. The roster of ponies was constricted to her four other best friends, which wasn't exactly a bad thing. Those girls were some of the most talented and skilled ponies that she knew, but none of them really exuded the consistent guidance and stability that Twilight could.
There was also the unfortunate fact that her five other best friends were all culprits in a heinous crime. Applejack didn’t know who she could trust, and she didn’t know how to go about interrogating her friends without losing her cool. Whoever caused this screw-up had attracted the attention of a dangerous gang of smugglers and dealers. Now, those smugglers and dealers were showing up on her homestead to harass her, which could put her entire family in jeopardy. She grunted and mumbled an apology as she narrowly avoided clotheslining Filthy Rich. Her uncertainty of who to question first was alleviated once she spotted Ponyville’s resident fashionista comparing ribbon samples.
Rarity could barely get a “Hello,” out before Applejack apprehended her and dragged her away from the marketplace. She huffed and sputtered as Applejack led her back to Carousel Boutique without uttering a single word. She could only go off of what she was seeing, and what she saw was an exceptionally scared and frazzled Applejack. When Rarity caught a clear glimpse of the apple farmer’s face, it looked puffy, and her mane was messier than usual. Her beautiful emerald green eyes had a red tint to them that felt familiar to Rarity. It was this familiarity that troubled Rarity the most, and it was why she allowed Applejack to publicly foalnap her.
As she entered her home and workplace, Rarity set down her basket which was only half full of what she intended to get today. She considered telling Applejack that she was going to put on some tea and freshen up but quickly decided against it once she looked into Applejack’s hurt expression. Applejack slammed the door shut and locked it with haste as she struggled to catch her breath. She sat on Rarity’s floor and buried her head in her hooves.
Rarity's heart nearly broke as she heard Applejack’s trembling and cracking voice. “We got trouble down here Rarity. Big trouble. I did something stupid and now somepony else has done something stupid.”
Rarity sat down in front of Applejack and tried to soothe her with a comforting hoof. “Well Applejack darling, it pains me to see you this way. I assure you that I will help you subdue whatever is causing you such distress. Please tell me, what is happening?”
“I-it’s about…the ‘Star Incident.’ They found it Rarity. Somepony’s been sellin’ on the black market recently, and now some bad folks are comin’ to town to cause some trouble.”
Rarity gulped as she began to understand why Applejack was so distressed. “The ‘Star Incident?’ And ‘Bad folks’ you say? Of what sort Applejack? And why would anypony sell those things on the black market, how would they even end up there?”
Applejack sighed and rubbed her head.
“Because I put them there Rarity. I bucked up and I did something stupid a long time ago. And now, one of us five has done something stupid right now.” The words felt sour coming out of Applejack’s mouth, but she couldn’t deny the wave of relief that washed over her as pieces of the truth came forward.
Rarity didn’t know how to respond or what to say. She had many years trying to forget that entire saga of her life, but now it was back in full color with new developments. She rapidly replayed various conversations and agreements that the group had shared on the matter, trying to calculate just how devastating this revelation was to the situation. She swiftly came to the conclusion that this was immensely devastating if not a little eye-opening and obvious in hindsight. She was starting to feel numb, which was not her typical response to drama. But, this situation was distinctly different from any of Rarity’s past dramas, it was formidable and complex. It occurred in a desperate and vulnerable time in her life, a time that deserved to stay buried away. The dressmaker could have thrown Applejack out just for alluding to this particular mess, but one look at her disheveled friend softened Rarity’s heart.
The unicorn licked her lips and spoke with confidence. “Well Applejack, I can assure you that I have no knowledge of any black market or how to access it. I also do not have any of the goods that would be sold there. I assume we both have a strong suspicion of two particular ponies. Perhaps we should stop by Sugarcube Corner first? We can sort this out further upon arrival.”
Applejack regained some of her sturdiness as she listened to Rarity’s words. It pained her to admit that her line of reasoning was leading her in the same direction. She sniffed and corrected her stetson before putting on her game face.
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
Excusable Under Certain Circumstances
It turns out that running an interrogation on a nurse while she is on her shift is not a viable idea, even if it is a royal investigation. Starlight had to admit that their questioning skills could have been a little more efficient and structured, but they were working under a lot of pressure. Rumors regarding strange ponies hanging in the shadows and in alleyways had been spreading throughout Ponyville. It was easy to spot a new face in a small town, and Starlight was starting to notice a lot of new faces lingering in the corner of her eye. It seemed that a new trend of dark trench coats, fedoras, and cigars was taking Ponyville by storm, and Starlight knew that something had to be done.
Nurse Redheart’s irritated and sparse testimony provided an adequate alibi. The nurse had asserted that she did not know a Cloudy Whistles and her body language suggested no recognition with a subdued reaction to the name. When asked her opinion on fireworks, Redheart was clearly unamused, they prodded her a little more on the matter and received a begrudging, “they’re abysmal.”
Apparently, hospitalization spikes whenever celebrations involving fireworks occur, leading to long days for many healthcare workers. The nurse was even kind enough to recall, in gruesome detail, the various firework related injuries that she had seen over the years. Vague stories about severe burns, scorched retinas, and fractured forehooves. It lasted a solid thirty minutes and it thoroughly grossed out the unicorns, nearly convincing them to leave then and there, but Trixie overcame her nausea and pushed on.
The magician inquired about Nurse Redheart’s whereabouts several years ago. According to Redheart, she had worked at the hospital for some time, but any chemical knowledge that she had was concentrated on its medical application. During the timeframe, she had been working at Ponyville General, completing her residency after her graduation. She insisted that she was exceedingly busy during that period, much like how she was busy at the moment. Trixie and Starlight finally took the hint and left the poor nurse to do her work undisturbed. They discussed how they might improve on their interrogation skills as they headed to the vet.
Birds flew overhead, squirrels climbed the cabinets, and a goat hopped on the counters while Dr. Fauna instructed her guest to get comfortable. They set up chairs around the doctor’s inspection table and got to work. Trixie was pleased to see that Dr. Fauna was much more open to interrogation and ran through the most important talking points.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie has a series of questions to ask on behalf of your Princess, Twilight Sparkle.” she proclaimed pompously as she pulled out a notepad.
Dr. Fauna let out a small, “oh,” but was not deterred by the announcement. She brushed beaver’s fur off of her lab coat. “Princess Twilight needs to ask me questions? Very well, go ahead, I’m happy to help.”
Starlight gave the doctor a thank you before Trixie huffed and began her questioning. “Tell me, 'Dr. Fauna', if that even is your name, what do you think when you hear the name Cloudy Whistles?”
“Cloudy Whistles?” Dr. Fauna repeated, trying to see if saying it out loud might jog her memory. “Are we talking about a pet/critter or a pony/creature?”
“We are discussing a pony/creature,” Trixie confirmed haughtily, scribbling down a series of incoherent notes on her notepad.
The veterinarian hummed as she thought it over. “I don’t believe that I know a Cloudy Whistles. I’m sorry.”
“No, no it’s okay. Thank you for answering truthfully, that's all that matters. Right, Trixie?” Starlight assured before turning to Trixie and trying to encourage a warmer approach. The doctor’s response sounded genuine, meaning that it was best to move on.
Trixie scoffed and sighed. “Yes, it is not an issue. Thank you, Dr. Fauna. Now, it’s time for Trixie’s next question. What is your opinion on fireworks?”
Dr. Fauna gave them an odd look, which the unicorns took note of. She scratched the back of her head. “Fireworks? That’s…an interesting question. Fireworks can be a nice spectacle from time to time. I used to look forward to seeing them whenever big events occurred. However, they can be loud and jarring, which terrifies critters. I don’t really like them as much because of that.”
Starlight could tell that Trixie’s radar was going off the chart. The magician scrutinized Dr. Fauna and went off script. “So, if you could invent a firecracker, you would create one that was quieter and less frightening to animals. Maybe even ones that were more…environmentally friendly?”
Dr. Fauna nodded slowly. “I suppose so.”
There was silence as Dr. Fauna’s eyes grew wide. It was a strong reaction to something that Starlight couldn’t understand, but Trixie knew exactly what was happening. The doctor rushed to add more to her confession.
“T-though I don’t know the first thing about firecrackers.” she stuttered in vain.
Trixie was out of her seat in seconds, allowing the chair to tip over as she pointed an accusing hoof at the doctor. “You don’t? Is that what you want us to believe!”
“Yes! Because that is the truth, I swear it!... Are you two looking into that whole firework mess from a few years ago? I had and have nothing to do with that!” Dr. Fauna pleaded, the animals in the room scattered due to the sudden commotion.
Starlight had no idea what was happening. Did Trixie actually stumble upon something? A part of her wanted to interject but the other part wanted to see what would happen next. She sat back and watched Trixie work.
“Oh, so you admit that you know about the firework situation?”
“Of course I know about the firework situation, everypony who lived here at the time knows about the firework situation! Fillies and colts were running around the streets throwing cherry bombs for months! And nopony could figure out where they were coming from. My mentor at the time had to lobby Mayor Mare to do something before any animal got hurt.” Dr. Fauna insisted with a hoof to her chest.
“Did this, ‘Mayor Mare,’ carry out an investigation on the matter?” Trixie rolled her r’s as she began to circle the room.
Dr. Fauna looked around suspiciously and spoke quietly. “I believe that she did. The details were kinda kept under wraps, but the whole situation was pinned on this underground syndicate from out-of-town.”
“An underground syndicate you say? The Great and Powerful Trixie wonders how an out-of-towner could have infiltrated Ponyville without being noticed. Wouldn’t somepony notice their foal conversing with a strange pony?”
Starlight's mouth hung open at Trixie’s reasoning. Things were actually coming together for the first time. She was genuinely impressed by her friend’s interrogation.
Dr. Fauna’s eyes darted around the room; she was progressively becoming more nervous with each question. “I don’t know. I don’t know! This all happened years ago and I had little to no relation with it. I was completely swamped with my apprenticeship at the time, and I was way out of the impacted age range. Surely Princess Twilight doesn’t suspect me! I don’t know why this is happening. Please, is there anything I can do to convince you that I am not the culprit?”
The unicorns exchanged a glance as they thought it over. Trixie stroked her non-existent beard; she knew that she had this pony in the palm of her hoof. She clicked her tongue and flipped her mane to the side.
“If Trixie is to believe that you are innocent, she must be provided with sufficient information. We need names. Ponies that are much more deserving of a closer inspection than you are.”
The doctor shivered as she covered her muzzle with a hoof. “I…I’m not so sure. I was new to town at the time, I didn’t know many ponies… Perhaps you should talk to the mayor or maybe Pinkie…she knows everypony.”
A horde of squirrels skittered across the floor as Trixie studied Dr. Fauna with a neutral expression. “We have already spoken to both. Trixie wonders if there is anything else that Dr. Fauna could tell us. Would you consider Dr. Hooves a quality culprit?”
“Y-you know, I-I think I would.” Dr. Fauna smiled with uncertainty. “If I recall correctly, he used to work at this toy shop back then. I used to purchase toys for the animals, and foals would always be hanging around. Maybe that’s how they got the cherry bombs? He also… debuted these flameless fireworks at Cranky’s wedding!” The veterinarian jumped up as she proclaimed her final point.
When Trixie didn’t react right away, Dr. Fauna’s ears folded against her head in fear. Her mind raced, but she had nothing else to contribute. She looked at the continually silent Starlight with pleading eyes.
“The information given reinforces our suspicions. On behalf of Twilight Sparkle, I, the Great and Powerful Trixie Lulamoon, release you from this interrogation. You may return to your normal duties, but always be prepared to undergo further questioning. Tell nopony of this conversation and stay within the town’s perimeters until further notice.” Trixie announced, clicking her pen closed and putting her notepad away.
The doctor exhaled as the unicorns got up to leave. Trixie gave her one last intimidating look before closing the door.
It wasn’t until there was a good distance between them and the vets that Starlight spoke up.
“Trixie, that was amazing! I mean, we didn’t exactly get a new suspect, but we did get some helpful information.”
“Well of course! What do expect from the Great and Powerful Trixie’s Great and Powerful interrogation skills. I knew that we had her as soon as she mentioned making quieter fireworks.
Starlight perked up as she remembered the initial cause of her confusion throughout the conversation. “Why was the sound of firecrackers so important, Trixie? Why did she react so strongly to that?”
“It’s because Al Capony’s firecrackers were revolutionary. As Trixie has said in the past, they were consistently good. Reliable and efficient. But they were also quiet. Not completely silent, but significantly quieter than their competitors and cleaner environmentally. Al maintained vibrant, bombastic, and explosively brilliant fireworks while stifling the noise. He knew exactly what ponies wanted. He easily could have made his business legitimate and made millions.”
“Then why didn’t he? Why go underground when your product is good enough to be mainstream?” Starlight pondered out loud. Both mares stopped as they thought it over.
Trixie sighed and looked at the ground. “During her own experiences, Trixie has learned that acquiring fireworks is…difficult. Equestria has strong regulations placed on anything that can be used for mass destruction. Weapons, explosives, and such are hard to acquire without a permit. Entertainers, performers, and event planners are the usual candidates for permits because fireworks are often a necessity. Anypony can have one, you just have to have a relatively clean criminal record and be of age.”
Starlight tapped her chin. “I don’t recall hearing about any notorious criminals in Ponyville back in the day. So, if Al Capony was underage, he wouldn’t be able to purchase fireworks. Does that mean that he wouldn’t be able to sell them either?”
The mares stared at each other as they made a silent mutual agreement. They hastily set off for Dr. Hooves’ workshop.
The sound of Pinkie’s laughter and singing echoed throughout the crystal halls of the Friendship Castle, serving as a constant reminder that Rainbow Dash had to work quickly. Luckily, speed was her specialty. Traversing the spacious corridors was a breeze, but finding the actual firecracker proved more difficult. She checked Twilight’s office first, trying to rummage through the room without completely ransacking it. She wasn’t sure if the treasure and the firecracker would be kept together or apart. It was reasonable to think that the money would be deposited somewhere while the firecracker was locked up for safekeeping. But the bits could also be under inspection for potential clues.
Rainbow mentally scolded herself for thinking about the money, knowing that it wasn’t important. It wasn’t threatening to blow Rainbow’s life to pieces. She had to focus on the firecracker and where it could be hidden. It definitely wasn’t in Twilight’s office, so she sped over to Starlight’s counseling room. The room was smaller than Twilight’s, which came with its own benefits and challenges. Everything was closer together, making it easier to see everything but harder to navigate. It wasn’t buried under the stored boxes of tissues nor was it crammed under the cushions of the chairs. She nearly got her left wing caught in a suspended kite as she looked through the bookcase. She didn’t recall Starlight mentioning a secret passage, but her friends had taught her that a secret passage was more likely than one might expect. There was nothing in the glass cases except vases and artifacts. The filing cabinet was, of course, full of files on students.
“So boring.” Rainbow groaned as she slammed the cabinet shut.
The air whipped through her mane as she took a series of turns and arrived at Starlight’s bedroom. The pegasus wasn’t a fan of blatant invasions of privacy, but the circumstance called for desperate measures. She entered cautiously and examined the room. There wasn’t much in there to inspect. She lifted the bed, checked drawers, and even dug through the house plants. Rainbow took a cursory look at Starlight’s desk and noticed a record.
“Holy buck, is this an original marevana album!” Dash cried out a little too loudly.
The record was one of the coolest things that Rainbow had seen all day, but she knew that there were more pressing matters. She looked around to ensure that she had seen everything. She was at a loss for what to do next, not knowing where else to search. She thought about searching Twilight’s bedroom, but she wasn’t sure how involved Twilight was with the investigation. She had only checked the alicorn’s office because she had first seen the firecracker there. She ruffled a nervous hoof through her mane.
“Come on Dash! Think! If you were a firecracker, where would you be?” she muttered.
The speedster hated feeling this way, like she didn’t know what she was doing, like she was helpless. Trixie might have it, but the magician’s cart was nowhere to be found outside. Dash had assumed that Trixie was crashing with Starlight, but she could be staying in one of Twilight’s near infinite guest rooms. Rainbow could look through them, but there were so many. Where could she even start? Did she have enough time to look? Rainbow frowned and tried not to spiral. She was relieved by the sweet sound of a cheery voice resonating from the kitchen.
“What’s that you say Twilight! Trixie had you teleport her ENTIRE WAGON inside in order to avoid the rain! And at this very moment, it’s parked one right, one left, then two more rights from Starlight’s bedroom! I might need to go check it out in thirty-two minutes and fifty-three seconds!” Pinkie screamed innocuously.
Rainbow Dash chuckled as she lifted off of the ground. She knew that her friend couldn’t hear her, but she talked to her anyways. “Thanks, Pinkie.”
She followed Pinkie’s directions to a T and landed and rejoiced when Trixie’s wagon came into view. She zealously grabbed the door handle, but it didn’t open. She pushed and tugged and then pushed and tugged again, but nothing came of it except a jostled wagon and an irate Wonderbolt. She huffed as she circumnavigated the wagon, looking for a secondary entrance to use.
“Nothing. Fine, I’ll just get in through the window.” she declared.
It wouldn’t be too difficult for the pegasus, since aerial entrances often involved working around windows. All that she had to do was slide the windowpane up and get in.
“Yep, a piece of cake.” Rainbow gulped as she gave the wagon jerk.
“Pinkie this cake is delicious!” Twilight praised as she helped herself to another spoonful.
The dish was a simple lemon pound cake, but it tasted positively delectable. It was only made better by the addition of vanilla ice cream, creating a wonderful combination of cold and warm. The sweet fruity flavors melted in Twilight’s mouth as Pinkie happily recounted her adventures in Canterlot.
“So, the time for the impromptu special celebration is here and I am soooooo excited! I’m hippin’ and hoppin’ and getting ready to go all out on stage, but nopony else is ready to go. I mean, I know that we just threw the band together a few minutes prior, but everypony was super talented. So I started squinking, and I did that until everypony came together to form the incredibleeeeee Ladybug Jamboree! And then we rocked out on stage and had a fantastic time!”
Twilight swallowed as she processed what she just heard. She looked at Spike quizzically, but the little dragon could only shrug in response. He sprinkled a few more gems into his bowl before turning to Pinkie.
“You…’started squinking?’”
Pinkie swiftly added six more scoops of ice cream to her bowl and mixed it. “Yeppers! I squished, and I winked, and then I thinked! I squinked! A Pinkie Squink!”
Twilight wiped her muzzle with a napkin and smiled at her friends, this was shaping up to be a pleasant afternoon. Being away from her friends always reminded her how much she valued their company.
“I’m happy to hear that, Pinkie. I’m really glad you’re back! Maybe you could even hel-” Twilight wasn’t able to complete her thought because she was interrupted by the sound of several crashes and bangs. The clamor seemed to come from another area in the castle. Twilight’s wings flared as she got into battle position and her horn charged with magic. She prepared to instruct Pinkie and Spike on what to do before Pinkie burst into giggles.
“OH, oopsies Twilight! My party cannon must have gone off! No need to check out THE VERY LOUD CRASH THAT WE ALL TOTALLY HEARD!” Pinkie screeched and pushed up her glasses.
Twilight wasn’t exactly sure if she had been out of Pinkie’s presence for too long, but her friend seemed more shouty than usual today. She let Pinkie’s explanation quell her before realizing that something was off.
“Pinkie, what party cannon?” Twilight asked as she studied the room.
“Oh, this one!” Pinkie exclaimed as a miniature party cannon appeared in her hooves. She plopped it down on the table for Twilight to get a better look and pulled a remote control out of her mane. “Check this out Twi-Twi!”
She pressed one of the buttons on the control and the party cannon moved forward. Twilight’s eyes grew wide as the tiny party cannon maneuvered around the table with Pinkie’s indirect guidance.
Pinkie twirled the controller around in her hooves and blew on it. “A remote-controlled party cannon! With…a built-in timer for automated ignition.”
Twilight touched a gentle hoof onto the barrel of the tiny cannon. “That’s incredible Pinkie!”
The party pony winked at her friend and reached into her mane. “You really think so? Well, this baby is just a prototype. I actually have the blueprints right here and I was hoping that I could maybe get a super genius pony to look over them?”
Stars appeared in Twilight’s eyes as Pinkie hoofed over her plans. This really was a pleasant afternoon.
All that Rainbow cared about was that the window was finally open. It doesn't matter that the wagon was slightly overturned or that everything inside of it was scattered. She had heard Pinkie’s warning and knew that time was running out. She had used the force of her take-off speed to jerk the windowpane up, snapping the lock and rocking Trixie’s entire home. The riddled contents of boxes, suitcases, and crates flooded the wagon as Rainbow leapt inside. She dug into the mess of items that she partially created in the cramped space. Diving into a sea of miscellaneous magic objects, she repeatedly told her brain to focus on something black and yellow. She submerged herself in the chaos trying in vain to find the accursed firecracker.
“Merciful Luna, this is a nightmare!” she complained as she threw her hooves up in exasperation.
The rainbow pony was up to her shoulder in stuff. She looked up to the ceiling and prayed that somepony would just put her out of her misery. That’s when she saw the suitcase propped up on the wall. A sticky note was placed on the suitcase and had a message in big red writing.
“Do not open. Not a firework inside.” Rainbow read aloud as her entire body began to ache. She grunted as she hoisted herself out of the mess and wearily grabbed the suitcase. Forgoing any semblance of stealth, Rainbow simply bashed the suitcase against the ground until it burst open. She could see a heavenly yellow light illuminating the open suitcase as she gazed upon the object of her desire.
“Hey Honeybee.” Dash practically cried as she cradled the firework in her hooves.
“If it is truly as urgent as you two say, I guess you can go up and wait for her in her room. I’ll make sure to let her know that you’re up there.” Mrs. Cake said as she wiped down the front counter.
Applejack tipped her hat to the baker and led the way upstairs. Mrs. Cake had told her and Rarity that Pinkie was off visiting Twilight, but they insisted that they needed to be here upon her return. They climbed the stairs and made their way to the loft, only pausing to wave at Pound and Pumpkin from the hallway as the infants played with their toys.
Rarity softly shut Pinkie’s bedroom door behind her as Applejack huffed and looked around. The unicorn was still reeling from her and Applejack’s conversation earlier, and now she was getting ready to launch herself headfirst into a potentially messier confrontation. She smiled fondly at the decor of Pinkie’s room as she remembered the joy that went into planning it out. She sat down on Pinkie’s couch and patted the seat beside her to beckon Applejack to sit down. It was obvious that Applejack’s anxiety surrounding the situation surpassed Rarity’s by tenfold, which led to the unicorn playing a more supportive and calming role. She watched Applejack pace and tried to think of something soothing.
“Applejack darling, I assume that your time in Appleloosa was effective and rewarding.”
Applejack groaned as she rubbed her eyes. “Yeah Rares it sure was, and I’m startin’ to think I should’ve never left.”
“Listen Applejack, I’m sorry that things are going so sour. Trust me I feel much of the same way but we nee- Oh dear, it seems that somepony is coming in through the window.” Rarity stood up and joined Applejack at the foot of the stairs up to Pinkie’s balcony.
Rainbow Dash muttered as she opened the balcony doors and let herself in. She felt her body involuntarily relax as the smell of cookies, cakes, and cupcakes hit her nostrils. Her ear twitched as she picked up the sound of movement at the bottom of the stairs.
“Hey, Pinks! Thanks for the distraction, I got Honeybee but I made a bit of a me- ah buck!” Rainbow jumped over the banister and hovered just out of Applejack’s hoof length. She barely had any time to react when the farmer charged up the stairs with no intention of stopping to avoid a tackle.
Applejack threw her hat at the pegasus as she stomped her hooves. “I knew you two were at the head of this! I trusted y’all! I trusted y’all to handle this and now we got ponies here to destroy us!”
“Come on AJ, just take it easy. We can talk this out like adults.” Dash pleaded.
“Abso-lute-ly not! This ain’t a prank or a bad joke! Y’all done went and put my family and livelihood in danger! Celestia forgive me, I’m gone tar and feather the both ya and I’m gone use your feathers to do it! And I’m gonna have two brand new pink and blue coats come winter time when I tear the hide off of ya!” Applejack snarled as she looked ready to take a chance and jump over the balcony.
Rarity looked on in an odd mix of fear and anger, uncertain of what to do or who to help. She could practically see steam blowing out of Applejack’s nostrils as the farmer continued to hurl extremely colorful threats at the pegasus. She sighed as she recognized that today was going to be a very long day.
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
Telescopes, clocks, pressure gauges, tesla coils, and more riddled every inch and corner of Dr. Hooves' laboratory. Starlight wasn’t sure which marvelous invention to focus on as she studied the gadgets, machines, and widgets around her. Soft blinking lights, electrical sparks, and the mechanical whirring added to the ambience of the secluded building. Dr. Hooves had let the unicorns in with no hesitation or resistance, even when informed that he was under, “royal investigation.”
He led the mares inside and wordlessly resumed his work on some sort of device, using a screwdriver to fasten a colorful filter onto a semi-spherical apparatus. The flat end of the semi-sphere had several metal tendrils attached to it. Trixie pointed at the device with an eyebrow raised.
“Is that an octopus?” she asked incredulously.
Hooves spit out his screwdriver and smiled, brimming with pride. “I guess you could call it an octopus! It’s meant to function as an underwater transportation mechanism.”
The mares looked at him skeptically. He looked at his apparatus again. “Of course, this is a simple model, a miniature of the real deal. I use mini models to run tests before constructing a full-sized version. It’s hard to find cost and time effective ways of testing devices, especially ones that function underwater. If only there were some sort of underwater laboratory that I could use.” Hooves explained as he pressed a thoughtful hoof to his chin.
Trixie rolled her eyes and blew a raspberry; this conversation wasn’t half as interesting as she hoped it would be. She lazily looked to Starlight for a signal to get down to business. The purple unicorn offered Hooves a kind smile before gesturing for Trixie to get started.
The magician cracked her neck and cleared her throat in anticipation. “‘Dr. Hooves’ as you are called by many. What does the name Cloudy Whistles mean to you?”
Dr. Hooves leaned his front hooves on the table and thought it over. “I’m not aware of a ‘Cloudy Whistles’ unless…” Dr. Hooves sprang out of his seat and ran to the other end of the room, he returned with black board on wheels, “unless, you are describing some sort of invention capable of summoning…no…conjuring clouds.” The doctor picked up a piece of white chalk and began frantically scribbling a slide whistle with smoke rising out of it.
Trixie rolled her eyes. “No Dr. Hooves, we are describing a pony. A potentially dangerous and brilliant pony.”
Dr. Hooves wrote down a few notes on the board before placing his chalk down. He wiped his mouth with a handkerchief and looked perplexed. “A pony? I don’t know of a pony named Cloudy Whistles.”
“Is that right? Okay then doctor, how about the name… Al Capony?” Trixie made a point to draw out the final name as she glared at Dr. Hooves.
“Al Capony! Now that is a name that I recognize!” he chatted with exuberance as he ran over to a filing cabinet and pulled out a series of blueprints.
“Y-you do?” Trixie was taken aback by his eager admittance.
“Oh, of course, of course! That pony was a genius and an inspiration. Their fireworks were a marvel. I used to purchase them just to dissect and study them.” He unfurled his blueprints, revealing in depth analysis and sketches of fireworks.
Starlight couldn’t help but chime in. “You actually bought fireworks directly from Al Capony?”
“I did, although the pony that I spoke to used a different name. They called themselves Pony Accardo, but I always assumed that Al and Pony were one in the same.”
Trixie had recovered from her initial shock and looked to Hooves suspiciously. “Did you ever work with Capony?”
Dr. Hooves suddenly looked crestfallen as he studied the floor. “I…did not. But I wanted to, and I tried to. I had many conversations with Pony Accardo during their run and I considered them a bit of an acquaintance. But they always stood firm and rejected my entreaties to join.”
“What was Capony like?” Trixie asked fervently.
“Dark and shadowy. An ominous whisper in the alleyway. Their voice was…odd. Deep and raspy, I always assumed that it was a young colt or a mare doing an impression of a stallion. I considered Pony Accardo amicable, if not a little brash. Others claimed that they were harsh and straight forward.”
“Is it possible that they were two separate ponies?” Starlight questioned, jotting down notes in her notepad.
“It is possible that that was the case. They were prolific sellers, so it could have been an entire network of ponies working together.” Dr. Hooves conceded before overlooking one of his blueprints.
Everypony was silent as they came to terms with what they had discussed.
Trixie added the information to her notebook before continuing, “Hooves, we are under good authority to believe that you are Al Capony or this ‘Pony Accardo.’ Do you have any evidence to prove otherwise?”
“As much as I wish that I was involved, I was left out of that particular loop. Would you mind providing the evidence against me?”
“Well, we have received two suggestions of your possible involvement from separate trusted sources. You have shown a past interest in unconventional fireworks by developing flameless fireworks. You were too young to receive a buyers or sellers permit, hence why you took to the black market to sell. You allegedly completed an apprenticeship in a toy shop, giving you easy contact with foals. Foals were the primary purchasers of fireworks in Ponyville. Finally, you are a brilliant inventor and scientist based in Ponyville.” Trixie stated definitively.
Dr. Hooves smiled to himself as he pawed at the ground. “I see why all of this might lead you to this conclusion, and I am deeply flattered. However, I must reaffirm my innocence. I lacked the resources and technical know-how to run an operation of this scale. Explosives were never really my wheelhouse, not until recently. I didn’t start experimenting with fireworks until I had ample experience and permission.”
“So, you waited years to actually act on your interest, despite knowing about the bad history of fireworks in this town?” Starlight asked, now growing more invested in the questioning with each second.
The doctor pulled at his bowtie. “I was aware of the politics surrounding fireworks in Ponyville. Roseluck even warned me about my experimentation. Perhaps I should have listened…” He looked around as he considered his options. “I was here when things truly got out of hoof some years ago. Al or Pony had enemies that attacked the town.”
Surprised by the admission, Trixie looked to Starlight and whispered, “They already attacked the town?”
“Already?” Dr. Hooves repeated with concern. “T-they did come here. They blew up a portion of Sweet Apple Acres.”
Thoughts were forming much quicker than Trixie could process. “They attacked the apple farmer’s home? Why would they do that?”
“Nopony really knows. The primary theory is that they wanted to hit something valuable but needed an isolated area to carry out their attack. The Apple family are the foundation of Ponyville, they founded this town. Attacking them is akin to attacking our heart.” Dr. Hooves stated breathlessly as he held a hoof to his chest.
“And do you believe this ‘theory’, Dr. Hooves?”
“I-I’m…unsure. I think…that they were going after somepony, but I don’t know why. There were at least three ponies inside, and none of them noticed anypony planting explosives? It doesn’t make sense.”
“Who? The apple farmer?”
“Yes…and Rarity and Pinkie. I didn’t even know that they still hung out like that, but they got caught up in the blast. Rarity actually worked with me at the toy shop, but she quit after the incident. I assume that she was recovering. Pinkie was the best off of the bunch. Mayor Mare and Captain Firefly said she was the one that got everypony out of harm's way.”
Trixie walked closer to Hooves, nearly pressing her face against his. “And if you had to guess which pony was being hunted…who would it be?”
Sweat beaded on his forehead as Dr. Hooves bit his lip and fiddled with his bowtie.
Pinkie could hear the commotion that Mr. Cake described as she approached her bedroom door. She recognized the familiar sound of Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity arguing with each other, but their tones were much harsher than usual. She cringed at the idea of her friends being unhappy and tried not to cry at the thought of how badly she failed them. She removed her old glasses with one hoof and wiped her eyes with the other as she gathered her courage.
Nopony noticed when she finally entered, but this was a common occurrence for the party pony. Ponies often acknowledged her inclination for loud and boisterous behavior, while her ability to sneak into places undetected went unappreciated. In truth, Pinkie was only seen by others when she wanted to be seen. She unceremoniously strolled into her bedroom, making her way past Rarity to her gramophone. She placed her favorite Coloratura record on the turntable and lowered the needle. All attention turned to her as a quiet melody resonated from the machine.
Rainbow Dash let out a sigh of relief as Applejack focused on the pink mare, descending the staircase at top speed to confront her friend. Pinkie didn’t flinch or quiver. She wasn’t even smiling or laughing. Applejack stopped dead in her tracks, mere inches away from Pinkie, as she looked into a pair of tired cyan eyes. A pink hoof rose to her mouth in a quieting gesture.
“Please stop shouting girls. The Cake twins are napping. We can discuss without waking the little ones.” she stated softly.
“Never in this lifetime has the Great and Powerful Trixie been faced with such a conundrum of a case! To think, Twilight’s royal investigation could lead to the indictment of one of her platoon members!” Trixie shouted cheerfully as she and Starlight walked through Twilight's castle.
Starlight didn’t share in her friend's enthusiasm as she reconsidered her activities throughout the week. How did they even get here? It had begun with finding the time capsule where they found their quest, some simple good and clean fun. Then they journeyed to the swamp and almost had a shootout with a chimera. They ventured to the bog and found their treasure; it should have ended there. Things got less mystical when they found the firework and mob ponies came to town. A discussion with the Pie sisters improved her mood, but consulting the nurse and doctors made everything worse.
She felt ill as she thought about it. She wasn’t sure who to trust anymore or who knew more than they were letting on. Perhaps this latest development was for the best. She knew this pony and this pony knew her, they could talk it out and come to a civil understanding. Starlight shivered as her hoofsteps echoed throughout the hall, she took some solace in knowing that she could at least sleep on it before making any big choices.
The purple unicorn was so caught up in her thoughts that she idly followed Trixie back to her wagon. She was pulled out of her reverie when she saw that one of the windows hung ajar. Trixie sprinted to her home and screamed as she looked inside. The interior of the wagon was abnormally bedraggled, but that wasn’t what disturbed Trixie. At the top of her pile of stuff was the suitcase holding the firecracker, however, the firecracker was nowhere to be seen.
The magician screamed again. “Help! Help! There’s been a robbery! I’ve been robbed!”
The pair didn’t waste any time as they ran throughout the castle in search of Twilight. The alicorn’s room was empty and her usual place in the library was vacant. They circled back to Twilight’s office and could hear a muffled voice emitting from the room. Trixie made it to the door first and yanked it open.
“Twilight it’s gone! The firecracker is gone! Somepony stole it out of Trixie’s wagon!” Trixie loudly wailed.
Twilight looked at Trixie with disbelief as Mayor Mare turned around in her seat. The mayor turned back to Twilight while Twilight’s mouth rapidly opened and closed.
“The Friendship Castle has been robbed? And did they mention a firework?” Mayor Mare asked as she looked around in bewilderment. Nopony responded as she pulled at her collar. “You didn’t find the firework in the Old Ponyville Time Capsule did you?”
Starlight and Trixie looked at eachother. Starlight shrugged awkwardly as she opted to speak up. “You know about the time capsule?”
“Yes, it was my mistake. I was too quick to okay Twilight’s construction plan. Had I been paying closer attention; I would have seen that the coordinates matched the site of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule. I came here to inform Twilight of my mistake, and she was telling me about accidentally puncturing the vessel.”
The mayor lowered her glasses onto the bridge of her muzzle. “But back to my initial question. Did you find that firework in the Old Ponyville Time Capsule?” she reiterated.
Starlight looked to Trixie and then Twilight. The purple unicorn smiled sheepishly and tried to stay as casual as possible. “Well…we didn’t exactly find the firework in the capsule. We found a riddle inside of the capsule that led us to the firework in Froggy Bottom Bogg.”
Much like everypony else, the mayor grew more and more nervous with each second. “Girls listen, it is important that we find that firework and turn it into the proper authorities immediately. I fear that the firework might be the product of an unsavory sort.”
“Oh, we know exactly who this ‘unsavory sort’ is, mayor. The Great and Powerful Trixie and her assistant, Starlight Glimmer, have been carrying out a royal investigation on behalf of Princess Sparkle to find one Al Capony!” Trixie chimed in quite unhelpfully.
The reverberating sound of Starlight’s hoof slapping her own face could be heard as Mayor Mare turned to stare at Twilight. It didn’t take a genius to deduce that Mayor Mare was unhappy, the alicorn chuckled as she fiddled with her hooves. Mayor Mare sighed as she leaned back in her chair.
“I wanted to keep this whole crisis as gnomic and ambiguous as possible, in order to avoid any seedy news reaching the townsfolk. But I was wrong to assume that Twilight Sparkle and her comrades could be kept in any form of darkness.”
Mayor Mare made sure to look at each mare in the room before continuing, “Al Capony was a no-good criminal that brought bad company upon this town. When I was running for re-election at the time, I promised my little ponies that I would keep them safe from that fiend. If somepony already stole the firecracker, then word must have gotten out. This is a disaster that must be contained before it wreaks havoc on Ponyville.”
Trixie nodded solemnly. “The mayor is correct. Somepony has broken into Trixie’s home with the intention of stealing Al Capony’s final work. We must find the perpetrator. Princess Sparkle! You’ve been here all day, what have you done!” Trixie accused, pointing a hoof at Twilight.
Twilight sputtered as she rose out of her seat. “I’ve done nothing! And I didn’t see anything! After you two left, Pinkie came over and baked a pound cake. She, Spike, and I spent a little over an hour eating and talking. Then she showed me a new party cannon, until she had to leave. Mayor Mare came over shortly after and here we are.”
The sick feeling came back as Starlight and Trixie eyed each other. “Pinkie was here?” Trixie mumbled as she stepped forward.
The tan earth pony clapped her front hooves together. “Well, it seems like Pinkie was with Twilight most of the day. I know that she can be very…distracting, I don’t blame you for not noticing that something was up in this massive castle. You do have dozens of students staying on campus grounds after all.”
“You’re right mayor, but I could have done better. I hate to think of any of my students doing this, but they were the only creatures that knew about the time capsule. Starlight, Trixie, and I will go around asking questions tomorrow and get to the bottom of this. There is no need for you to burden yourself with my mistake, Mayor Mare.” Twilight pleaded.
Mayor Mare pondered Twilight’s proposition in silence for what felt like an eternity. “Very well Princess Twilight, go ahead and search. But, if the firework is not brought to me in two days, I will have my own ponies look into the situation.”
Both authority figures exchanged a nod and shook hooves. Mayor Mare straightened out her collar again before standing up. She regarded each pony in the room as she prepared to leave. “Now, I will leave you girls to your work. I have another urgent matter to attend to.”
It was incredible how much one could learn during a late-night conversation with their closest friends. Despite their time spent tethered together, Rarity always found that learning new things about her friends was always a pleasant surprise. Today, Rarity had learned that Pinkie’s insatiable desire for apple cider had inspired her to store barrels in her party cave, a truly pleasant surprise. Four mugs of Applejack’s special blend of cider were distributed among the friends, and a fresh plate of chocolate chip cookies was retrieved from downstairs.
It was an impressive turnaround as the tension in the room dissipated with each refill. The mares lounged around as they argued, commiserated, and talked. Under other circumstances, Rarity might I have considered it a pleasurable evening, but the topic at hoof soured even the most joyous moments. Rarity laid next to Applejack on top of Pinkie’s bed, while Pinkie and Rainbow occupied the floor below them.
“Soooo yeah, that’s what happened, aaaand it was a huge mess. But! I got Honeybee back! Beautiful, beautiful Honeybee!” Rainbow Dash mumbled as she pressed her head into Pinkie’s comforter. It was clear that the pegasus was reaching her limit, despite her insistence that she keep her mug, it didn't receive another refill.
Applejack chuckled and ruffled Rainbow’s mane. “That sure sounds like one of y’all’s plans. Sweet Celestia’s red hot flank! Trixie probably gone be madder than a wet hen.”
The collective snorted and giggled at the idea. Pinkie took a leisurely sip as she returned to her thousand-yard stare. The party pony tended to get introspective and spacey when she broke into her batch. “Yep, Trixie is probably going craaaaaaazy. It wasn’t our bestest best work, but we had to get old Honeybee out. I guess we just weren’t fast enough.”
Rarity used a lazy hoof to flick around Pinkie’s forelock, she smirked at the soft boing sound that emitted with each gentle tug. “It’s fine darling. It’s hard for even you to predict Trixie’s eccentricities.” She yawned as she pushed Pinkie’s forelock back, “I’m not too worried by their search. If we give them nothing, they have nothing. The most pressing matter at the moment is this whole Bugs character. He and his goons have been spreading their bad fashion around town. What. A. Nightmare.”
Pinkie sighed. “They keep asking me questions…I can’t run from this anymore. We should focus on Bugs since he wants to make the town go all kablooey; I’ll take care of Starlight and Trixie on my own time.”
“Now, now sugarcube. There’s no need to run this thing like a mobster. We got each other now, we trust each other, and we help each other. Y’all’re my family. Even if y’all drive me crazy, I’d still wrastle a bugbear for each of ya.”
Rarity cooed as she wrapped a hoof around Applejack’s neck in an awkward semi-hug. Rainbow Dash groaned at the sudden influx of fluff. “You say we got each other Jack, but Shy’s not here. We should bring her over and…and…give her some…uh cider and be a big happy mobster family.”
Applejack shook her head as she scooched closer to Rarity and leaned into the hug. “Of course Fluttershy is family too, sugarcube. But that poor gal doesn’t deserve to be brought back into this foolishness. We keep all of this between us, there’s no need to go bringin’ in nopony else. Big M would have a conniption if she found out about this.”
Everypony scratched their befuddled brains for something to reply, but the calm silence won over. The noise of breathing and Coloratura were the only sounds in the room for a few peaceful minutes. Then the door burst open.
Mayor Mare bustled into Pinkie’s bedroom in a huff. Her face was rigid and serious, but her eyes were exceptionally angry. A series of curses were mumbled as all four mares turned to witness the mayor’s unannounced entrance. She came within inches of them before doubling back to slam the door.
“It’s good to see that you hooligans are here colluding together. This makes my job easier.” She straightened out her collar and studied them with irritation. “I just had the most interesting conversation with Princess Twilight Sparkle, the time traveling cult leader, and the evil magician.”
“Trixie and Starlight are actually reformed, Mayor Mare. Treating them as their misdeeds could trigger poor behavior or worsened self-esteem. And I wouldn’t describe Trixie as evil, she was more annoying than anything.” Rarity added unhelpfully.
“Have you all been drinking? At a time like this!” Mayor Mare fumed.
Rainbow tried, unsuccessfully, to tuck her mug under Pinkie’s bed. “No, no drinking. We have not…have not…been drinking… okay.” She turned to her friends with a confident smile and winked.
Applejack rolled her eyes as she placed her mug on Pinkie’s nightstand. “We have been partakin’ in a few libations. But it’s only to calm our nerves. We’ve actually been workin’ on a plan.”
“A plan you say? And how is that going? Princess Twilight, protegee of Princess Celestia, has been robbed! Robbed in a small town with few ponies, this offense won’t get buried in a backlog of crime like it would in Manehattan or Fillydelphia.”
Pinkie cleaned her glasses with her blanket and tried to add some cheer into her voice. “We understand Miss Mayor Mare, but we had to get the firecracker back. We didn’t want it in the wrong hooves.”
“Wrong hooves? Wrong hooves! Implying that you are the right hooves? Those explosives never were in the right hooves and still aren’t in the right hooves. Pinkamena, you especially need to take this seriously, Starlight and Trixie are on to you. A long time ago, I was convinced that sparing you five would greatly outweigh the positives of turning you in. Never in a million years could I have imagined that sparing you would inadvertently save the world multiple times over. But still, I was promised that these childish antics were over and done.” Mayor Mare chided.
Rarity placed her forehooves on Pinkie’s shoulder and gave them a light squeeze. “We understand that mayor, and we apologize. We had no idea that this would come back to bite us like this. We never wanted to involve you, but your concern is appreciated.”
“I fear that my concerns aren’t completely altruistic, but I do worry about all of your well-being.” She looked to Applejack. “All five of you need to report to my office first thing in the morning.”
Applejack scratched her head. “Uh…you really need all five?” she asked.
“Yes. I did notice Fluttershy was absent from your scheming, but I need her to be in attendance. She was partially responsible for this back then, so she is still partially responsible right now. Catch her up before bringing her to town hall. There, you will tell me everything.”
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
Could You Describe The Ruckus, Ma’am?
Rarity never understood the phrase, ‘money is the root of all evil,’ until she was faced with the opportunity of a lifetime. For a young and ambitious filly such as herself, who dreamed of becoming a world-famous fashion designer, understanding the woes of this world was imperative. She wanted to know how to play the game and she wanted to win.
So, she packed up her bags and left her home, family, and friends for two years to perfect her design and business skills. They had instructed her to stay longer, but Rarity couldn’t wait anymore. Her life was passing her by, and she was sitting around creating other pony’s designs. She believed that she learned everything that she needed to know, so she left in search of her own brand and her own business.
Perhaps Rarity was a little naive to think that getting an education was the hard part. It's hard for anypony to build their own business, but the struggle is worse for somepony so young. It didn’t matter if Rarity was ambitious or intelligent. They told her that she would need a proof of concept. A little more experience in her field. A reference or a good connection. But how could Rarity prove herself if she didn’t have the money to do so, and how could she get the money if they wouldn’t give her any loans or funds? If she could simply bring her visions to fruition, then everypony would see that she wasn’t just an idealistic foal.
It was a frustrating way to live for the young unicorn made all the more irritating because her passions lay beyond money and financial gain. Rarity simply wanted to create, and she wanted to spend every moment of her time doing just that. She didn’t want her passion to be a hobby or a side job. She wanted to sustain herself off of what she loved, and she was sick and tired of waiting. It hurt her to think that nopony believed in her as much as she did. But, if they weren’t going to help her, she would help herself. If she had to work a miserable job to save a little cash to buy her own place, then she would. And if she had to keep her ear to the ground and kiss up a little, then so be it.
Knowing how to be sociable was an important skill for entrepreneurs such as Rarity. It paid to stay connected and engaged with others. That is one of the reasons why Pinkie’s friendship was so valuable because the pink filly knew tidbits about everypony. Rarity appreciated that Pinkie gave up information freely without bias or judgment. She admired the innocent outlook that Pinkie maintained, despite the hardships of this life. Much like with Fluttershy, Rarity found comfort in Pinkie’s boundless reassurance. Another thing that she admired was her friend’s ingenuity. Both ponies had a kindred desire to manifest what they were passionate about. Rarity often found inspiration in Pinkie’s willingness to entertain even the wildest ideas, and often sought to return the favor. But sometimes, Pinkie’s ideas were a bit too wild.
“So let me get this straight. You want us to make fireworks… that you designed” Rarity asked as she gaped at Pinkie.
The smile upon Pinkie’s face was impossibly wide as she presented her idea to her friends. The party pony had managed to corral Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy to Applejack’s treehouse at Sweet Apple Acres with the promise of big news. Rarity didn’t know what to expect when she agreed to come. She mainly wanted to ensure that Applejack wouldn’t step all over Pinkie’s feelings but had assumed that Pinkie was going to throw an impromptu party, not an impromptu business proposal.
Pinkie was positively glowing as she watched Rarity flip through her thirty-page proposal. “Yeppers! I’ve really been thinking hard about this girls. I’ve spent a whole bunch of nights drawing up the designs.” she confirmed.
Applejack sighed, probably pondering why she agreed to meet with Pinkie at all. “You tryna tell me that you want us to make fireworks that you designed…while sleep deprived.”
The bulky glasses on Pinkie’s face were pushed up as Pinkie replied. “N-no…well yes…but also no! I stayed up because I just…I just knew what to do. I worked really hard on them.”
Rarity could tell that Pinkie’s claim was genuine. The overall organization and execution of her plan were laid out plainly and professionally. Rarity might have doubted that Pinkie even did this, had she not recognized Pinkie’s squiggly hoofwriting. She wasn’t troubled by the nature of Pinkie’s idea, considering that it was tamer than some of her friend’s past schemes. What troubled Rarity was the level of thought put into the idea. It wasn’t something that Pinkie just came up with an hour ago, it was a meticulous and comprehensive plan. In fewer words, it was feasible.
Rarity gave Pinkie a skeptical look, before side-eyeing the obviously terrified Fluttershy. The poor thing wasn’t used to this particular quirk of Pinkies yet. Pinkie rubbed her neck as she determined her next move. Rarity flashed her a supportive smile despite her own doubts and watched Pinkie reach into her saddlebags and pull out a large brown pouch.
She tossed it to Rarity who tried to apprehend it with her magic. The unicorn yelped at the unexpected heft of the pouch, having to ease it to the ground instead. Her jaw dropped when she opened it and gazed upon hundreds of bits.
“See this as proof of how good my designs are.” Pinkie looked around at their startled expressions, smiling guiltily. “I might have already sold a few fireworks.”
Rarity used a hoof to dig through the bits, wanting to ensure that there was nothing else weighing the bag down. Leave it to Pinkie to defy her expectations. The bag before her equated to at least two weeks' worth of wages. She looked at Pinkie incredulously.
“And this is what you made from just a few?” she questioned.
Pinkie’s head jerked up and down in confirmation. Even Rarity could tell that the other fillies were seriously listening for the first time since the conversion started. She was trying to think of what to say next, some sort of glaring flaw that would dismantle Pinkie’s entire proposition. The only things that came to mind were the ethical and social repercussions. The consequences of being caught were devastating, but what was a little rule-bending between friends? They told Rarity that she was too young to start a business, but that wasn’t going to stop her. Why would she let this stop her either? Her thoughts were interrupted by Applejack’s proclivity to be reasonable.
“Then what do you need us for?” the young farmer murmured, she locked eyes with Rarity who was still holding the bag.
It was odd to actually look directly at Applejack without any type of animosity or malice between them. Rarity moved the opening of the money pouch to give Applejack a better view. She tried not to laugh at the young farmer’s subdued but obvious reaction. It was clear that everypony liked what they saw.
Pinkie crossed her arms as she considered Applejack’s question. Her voice sounded deeper and gruffer while she explained her reasoning, “I need help. Ponies to help me craft them and ponies to help me sell them. If your mind is exploding because of the itty-bitty amount of bits that I made alone, then just imagine what a whole team could make. We could make like a bajillion bits!”
Tartarus must have frozen over because Pinkie was making sense. Rarity didn’t know about making ‘a bajillion bits,’ but they definitely could make themselves quite comfortable. She couldn’t be the only one that was genuinely considering this idea. Fluttershy nibbled at her hoof, thinking over what she was hearing. The timid pegasus tried not to look too hard at the pouch, but Rarity knew that she saw the potential too. She needed somepony sane to tell her that she wasn’t crazy, and Fluttershy was sane and normal.
The bag jingled as Rarity tilted the opening towards Fluttershy. An odd feeling of hope and excitement was starting to fester in the young unicorn. “I’m not so sure of a bajillion bits, but a good thousand could be a blessing.” She turned to Fluttershy and spoke quieter. “With this, we could both start the next phase of our lives. I could get my boutique and you could find somewhere to stay in Ponyville.”
“Well, that might work mighty fine for y’all, but some of us have ponies that depend on them. I don’t got all the time in the world to play around with explosives and sell them to rugrats.” Applejack grumbled.
Fluttershy’s eyes grew wide as she looked at Pinkie in concern. Pinkie hadn’t specified who the target demographic would be, but that was simply good business. Rarity knew that Pinkie wanted to keep her audience engaged and listening. She knew why Applejack always had a sour mood, but that rarely excused her behavior in Rarity's eyes. When it came to dealing with Applejack, Rarity admired Pinkie’s resolve and compassion.
Pinkie held her hooves up defensively. “We won’t sell big, bad scary fireworks to little foals. Maybe cherry bombs though…I mean those aren’t bad. Remember when Firefly gave us a buttload of cherry bombs and told us to ‘go to town’ and we ended up hiding a bunch in the library to prank Miss Page Turner.”
Pinkie giggled at the memory while Rarity blushed, and Applejack snorted. Involving foals might not be a good look, but Rarity had come to learn that children were much more capable than she thought. The gang of fillies and colts that came by her toy shop proved to be competent, and even her infant sister showed signs of possessing logical restraint. And it’s not like Miss Page Turner didn’t deserve what happened to her. She was such a prude and always made Golden Oaks a total bore to visit. If anything, the memory reinforced that Pinkie had experience with fireworks. Rarity was confident that Pinkie’s designs would be safer, especially after one of those cherry bombs exploded in her face and scorched both of the pink filly’s retinas.
The pink filly looked directly at Applejack. “And Applejack, I understand that you’re super-duper busy with the farm. Which is why I need you to do a small, but incredibly important job.” She turned around and broadly gestured to the treehouse behind them. “The Cakes are a bit suspicious of me when it comes to building stuff, so I need a space. A nice, secluded space with plenty of room to build, and I need a pony to cover for me. No work, just words.”
Applejack looked doubtful. “You’d pay me just to use this old shack?”
“Yeppers! Just keep any outside nosy wosies out of our operation.”
Pinkie clapped her hooves and studied the more neutral expressions. It was a welcomed contrast from the earlier reception. “So, what do you think? Do we got a deal, partners!”
The idea of Applejack getting an equal share was unsavory to Rarity, but certain concessions had to be made when it came to business. It paid to be generous, and Rarity trusted that she would be fairly compensated. Despite rarely ever agreeing on anything, Rarity and Applejack eyed each other to ensure that they had undergone the same experience. They had known Pinkie for a few years now, and the idea was oddly coherent. They probably would have agreed then and there, but Fluttershy was another factor that needed to be accounted for. Rarity looked at her new friend and offered an encouraging smile.
The pegasus looked nauseous as she hunched over. The others weren’t sure if she was going to say anything until she blurted out her concerns.
“I-I-I don’t know! Oh…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…It’s just. Fireworks are so dangerous, what if somepony gets hurt? That would be just awful! And even if we give little ones cherry bombs, what if they cause trouble…o-or make a mess? What if they leave the bombs sitting around and a little critter eats it! And fireworks are s-scary. They frighten little animals because they’re too loud and sudden.”
In a rare turn of events, Pinkie was genuinely flabbergasted as she stared at Fluttershy. The pink filly was taken aback, and she was stumped. She tapped her chin a few times and stuck out her tongue. For a few minutes, it appeared that Fluttershy had successfully defused Pinkie’s outrageous plan. The pegasus began to quiver as she mentally outlined an apology. Rarity couldn’t believe how swiftly Fluttershy shut the operation down. She silently prayed that Pinkie might pull off the impossible.
Pinkie’s expression never hardened, nor did her voice spike with irritation. After a moment of pondering, she actually beamed. She pulled a blueprint out from nowhere and started scribbling. Then she perked up and hopped around the other fillies.
“Fluttershy, you genius! That’s exactly what I need. Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!” she squealed.
“Oh um…you’re welcome…What did I do?” Fluttershy sank to the grass and hid behind her mane.
Pinkie stopped in her tracks and faced her friends. “You, my brilliant filly, showed why I need each and every one of you. I can only hit so many nails on so many heads. I need more hoovsies, so I can hit even more nails on even more heads. And you all are more hooves!”
Rarity considered herself well versed in Pinklish, but this claim was lost on her. She exchanged confused looks with the other two. Seeing the lackluster response to her explanation, Pinkie licked her lips and tried again.
“Working together helps me come up with better ideas. A better firework that works better for more ponies. See Fluttershy, what if I designed biodegradable and less loud fireworks? If you had to choose between regular messy, loud ones and less messy, less loud ones, which would you pick?”
“Um…the less messy, less loud ones.” she whimpered from the ground.
“Yes! And if we can get more ponies to buy our better fireworks, then fewer ponies and critters can get hurt by fireworks that aren’t ours.”
Genius! Pinkie was succeeding where so many had failed; she was extinguishing Fluttershy’s concerns while building up her confidence. This was business negotiation 101, and Pinkie was playing the game perfectly. Rarity initially feared that she would have to question Pinkie leniently, but she was confident that Pinkie could handle one last question.
She cleared her throat and raised a hoof. “But Pinkie darling, if your fireworks are as good as you say, why not just find a legitimate avenue of selling.”
“Because, I’m not really old enough. And old me doesn’t need bits like the now me. Anyways, there are much more ponies who want to purchase fireworks than those who actually can.”
“This can’t possibly be the same filly that went to the hospital for eatin’ 150 cans of cheezewhiz in one sittin’ is it?” Applejack murmured as she rubbed her forehead. Rarity smiled at the absence of negativity or complaint.
Pinkie giggled and reveled in the lack of further questions. “It sounds like we have a deal?”
She poked her hoof out, hoping that the other three would do the same and seal their bond. Rarity smiled at the gesture; it was nice to be on the other side of the negotiation. Pinkie had proof of concept, experience, and enough money to equal a proper reference. Rarity couldn’t offer her friend any loans or funds, but she could offer her time and support. She took pleasure in being the first to take the plunge.
“I don’t know how you do it darling…but I’m in.” Said the first regal voice.
“I-I guess I c-could give it a try if it nopony gets hurt.” Said the second voice quite timidly.
“As long as I ain’t gotta do too much I’m in.” Stated the third voice contently.
“This is gonna be so awesome! Let’s build some explosives.” Squealed the fourth voice in anticipation.
Rarity did a double take as she realized that the final voice wasn’t Pinkie’s. She peeked at the huddle of hooves and noticed a blue hoof at the top of the pile. The four fillies looked up at the uninvited guest hovering above them, as Dash simply smirked back. The unicorn sighed; it was only a matter of time before Fluttershy’s shadow reared her prismatic head.
Fluttershy slid back a few feet and tumbled over. “O-oh my, Rainbow Dash! W-what are you doing here…if you don’t mind me asking?”
Rainbow Dash nonchalantly studied her hoof. “Oh, you know, just hanging around, flying about. Listening to this crazy scheme you all got going.”
Applejack grunted and spit at the ground. “This ain’t concern you feather brain, buzz off.”
“What, hey! It’s not my fault that you crazies are so easy to snoop on. Anyways, I’m not gonna snitch, just cut me in on the deal.”
“And why the hay would we do that! Everypony’s got a place in Pinkie’s plan but you. Why don’t you return to your cloud house or whatever.” Applejack refused to look at Rainbow Dash as she chided her.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and huffed. “Oh, come on! Your only role is letting them stay on this massive farm. They probably could have done that without even asking, it’s not like you’d even notice. And I can help out a lot! I know tons of ponies that would buy fireworks. You need sellers, right? Well, Rainbow Dash is the best seller in all of Equestria!”
Rarity didn’t know what to do and she assumed that it wasn’t her job to decide. All eyes fell upon Pinkie to determine the next move, and the Premiere Ponyville Party Pony didn’t need to deliberate. She spoke quickly and authentically.
“Wowzers, for real! Well, I guess Rainbow can join too, the more the merrier.” she chirped, happy to gain a new friend.
“Now hold on, one doggone minute. That ain’t fair! Pinkie, you know half the whole town! If they wanted to join, would you let them? I can’t deal with that chaos. Anyways, now we gotta split the money five ways instead of four!” Applejack sputtered.
There goes Applejack again, being reasonable. Rarity had hoped that the collective had abandoned their senses in pursuit of a crazy criminal enterprise, but Applejack held steadfast to her last shreds of decency. Rainbow Dash was the only pony present that Rarity didn’t know well. Granted, she had learned quite a bit about Rainbow’s athleticism and accomplishments from Fluttershy and Rainbow herself, but she lacked experience with the blue pegasus.
It was apparent to her that Rainbow was a tad arrogant and prideful, but she could detect a cover-up from a mile away. Despite being so amazing, Rainbow always found her way back to Fluttershy. Even if Rainbow did most of the talking and the talking was mostly about Rainbow, the pegasi flocked together. Perhaps having Rainbow around would make Fluttershy more comfortable and establishing connections with all types of ponies is a fundamental aspect of good business.
Rarity gave Pinkie a nudge and a wink to assure her that she was okay with the rearrangement. She knew that Pinkie wanted Applejack to join more than anything and respected that decision. Pinkie gently grabbed Applejack and led her away from the others. They stood behind a tree and spoke in hushed voices. She kind of liked the sight of it, the two of them talking civilly. It reminded her of simpler times before everything became so complicated.
Strangely enough, she trusted that Pinkie knew what she was doing. One could say what they want about Pinkamena Diane Pie but saying that she was a bad friend was inconceivable. Nopony loved their friends like Pinkie did and nopony believed in their friends like Pinkie did. Pinkie didn’t have a vitriolic bone in her entire body. She always had others' best interests in mind and was willing to go to great lengths to make those she loves happy. It worried Rarity sick and she didn’t always understand it, but she knew that Pinkie’s pride wouldn’t allow her to live any other way. That’s why Rarity felt confident that this was going to be okay, and it's why she wasn’t surprised when Applejack left their conversation and addressed the group.
The young farmer quirked an eyebrow and smiled a bit as she condemned them to their fate. “Alrighty then. Okay, everypony let’s do this thing. This oughta be the stupidest thing to happen in Ponyville in some time.”
A sense of deja vu washed over Mayor Mare as she scrutinized the five mares seated before her. Years prior, they had met in a similar fashion under similar conditions, and it was surprising to see what had changed and what had stayed exactly the same.
Rarity maintained good posture and handled the proceedings professionally. The only break from her serious demeanor was the occasional check-up on Fluttershy. The unicorn was also graceful and poised back then, but age had refined her craft, turning it from a mere imitation to the real deal.
The pegasus sitting beside Rarity shivered in her seat, clearly distressed by the unfortunate news that she received earlier this morning. But Fluttershy was showing great growth as well. Before, she was almost inconsolable, a bundle of nerves and hysteria. Now, Fluttershy’s anxiety primarily manifested in more subtle ways. A bite of the hoof, a quick glance around the room, or a mumble of self-motivation under her breath.
Applejack looked roughly the same in terms of posture and receptiveness, but she also lacked the edge that she had before. The old Applejack was quick-tempered and hard to wrangle in. She and the mayor practically wanted the same thing, but the young mare had little patience to talk it out. Mayor Mare trusted that Applejack still shared a common end goal and was happy to see that the current Applejack’s face had softened considerably over the years.
Pinkie was still fidgeting in her seat, and she was even wearing the same glasses for some reason. She was still uncomfortable with sitting for extended periods or having serious conversations. She quietly tapped on the chair and hummed a melody that Mayor Mare didn’t recognize.
And Rainbow Dash still looked bored as she slumped in her chair, but there were flashes of genuine worry in her eyes. Before, the blue pegasus had less at stake, which explained why she practically slept through the entire agreement. But now, she had a reputation to uphold as a member of Twilight’s entourage and a Wonderbolt.
“I appreciate that all of you made the time to speak with me today. I assume that we all understand that this meeting is of the utmost importance if we wish to maintain our mutual interest.”
Mayor Mare paused to look at each mare and ensured that they were listening. She waited to see each of them nod before continuing.
“It is to my understanding, that Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer, and Trixie Lulamoon have become aware of the ‘Star incident.’ In my brief discussion with the three, I learned that they are aware of Al Capony and are actively seeking them out. Even worse, it appears that Starlight and Trixie are wary of Pinkie Pie. I do not think that Twilight suspects you Pinkie, which we could use to our benefit. I have already convinced her to look elsewhere for culprits.”
The others looked to Pinkie in concern, fearing what the news might do to her vulnerable heart. Pinkie didn’t react to the news, her disposition remained neutral. They all knew that this was off brand for the vivacious mare.
Seeing that there was no response, Mayor Mare leaned back in her chair.
“I have informed Princess Twilight that she must turn over the firework to me by tomorrow, or I will have my own ponies take over the case. Since that firework is in Pinkie’s possession, I will take over the investigation, and pin the theft on an outside organization. Then I will strongly advise that she and her proteges stay out of the town’s old affairs. The five of you might want to keep your ears to the ground in the meantime. Guide Twilight in directions that lead far away from you, and if you can’t bear the guilt, just lay low.”
“Now that I have given you my report, I open the floor to all of you. For the sake of transparency, I hope you all would tell me any pivotal information that I might not be aware of.” She turned to Applejack. “Tell me Applejack, is there any important information that I should be aware of?”
Applejack wanted to scream. Her eyes widened as it got hotter in the room. She fanned herself with her hat and tried not to think of the ponies in trench coats hiding in alleyways around town. Every eye in the room was on her as she failed to keep her cool. There were still some discrepancies among the group that were never addressed. Certain information that each mare swore they would take to their grave.
“Well…em.” she sputtered out, trying to ignore Rarity and Rainbow staring daggers at her.
She was about to give up when Pinkie launched backward out of her chair. The party pony’s limbs began ticking and twitching. “Oh, oh, oooooh. Blinky eye! Stiff elbow! Stuffy right nostril! It’s Twilight! Twilight’s doing something sciencey!”
Mayor Mare stood up in alarm. “Twilight’s doing something sciencey? Sweet Celestia! You girls need to go and stop her. I feared that Twilight might take drastic measures to study the crime scene. Go. Go!”
The mayor began showing the five out, ushering them out into the street and slamming the door shut behind them. Applejack stood in shock before regaining her senses and hurtled toward Twilight’s castle. The others followed closely behind as the crystal monolith came into view. Her journey came to an abrupt end when Pinkie caught up and tackled her to the ground. They rolled around in the grass as their momentum slowed.
“Now, what in the sam hill! We gotta get to Twi’s and stop her from doin’ something sciencey!” Applejack sputtered as she gripped her sore shoulder.
Pinkie blew blades of grass and dirt off of her glasses as she sat up. “Twilight’s not doing anything sciencey, you silly filly. We just needed to get out of there before you blew the whistle. A blinky eye, stiff elbow, and stuffy right nostril combo means that the mayonnaise mare is coming to deliver mayonnaise to Sugarcube Corner!”
Panting could be heard as Fluttershy and Rarity caught up, they hunched over and struggled to catch their breath. Rainbow Dash descended from above and hovered over the earth ponies, offering each a hoof to help them stand up.
“Nice thinking Pinks! AJ was totally about to spill.” Rainbow said, squeezing the hoof holding Applejack’s a little tighter than the other.
The farmer sullenly picked up her hat and put it on with a huff. “Well excuse me for wanting to be honest. I’m the Element of Honesty for a reason. It was so much easier to lie when I was a youngin, but now I just can’t do it. This whole mess started because we were bein’ deceitful, and it keeps gettin’ worse. What’s the worst that could happen if we spoke to Twilight?”
The other four eyed each other before Rainbow snorted and glared at Applejack. “Are you serious? Why don’t you go ahead and tell Celestia!”
Rarity interposed herself between the Rainbow and Applejack, rubbing her aching head with a hoof. “And we must account for the other ponies involved in this, not just ourselves. Mayor Mare stuck her neck out for us. Had she not buried this scandal, who knows what might have happened.”
Rainbow groaned. “I don’t know what might have happened to us, but I know for sure that Swing Vote would have probably been mayor to this day. Mayor Mare only won that election because she blackmailed us into carrying her whole campaign on our backs!”
“Dash keep your voice down! We don’t know that for certain…Mayor Mare is a fine leader. She might have not won that particular term, but all the other terms were hers. She just needed a little support and a youthful spin on her campaign. It was a good use of our time as opposed to breakin’ the law!” Applejack argued.
Rarity looked at Rainbow Dash and pleaded with her eyes. “Applejack is right darling, the campaign really helped us all build a good reputation in this town. We have to look out for Mayor Mare. We might be able to coast by on our youth and inexperience at the time, but a fully grown politician manipulating juvenile delinquents into spearheading her campaign is… a bad look.”
All parties seemed to agree as they sulked over the reality of their situation. It was still early enough in the day that the sun hadn’t reached its midpoint. Ponies went about their day, oblivious to the impending firefight kindling in the darkest alleyways and corners of Ponyville.
Applejack bit her lip and kneaded the ground with her hooves. “This just don’t feel right! There’s gotta be a way to make this right!”
Rarity sighed as she placed a hoof on Applejack’s shoulder. “I’m certain that in a few years when the statute of limitations is up, we can absolve ourselves of this particular sin. But in the meantime, let’s focus on the more pressing matter. Outsiders are plotting to destroy Al Capony, and they want to take out Ponyville with it.”
“T-there are outsiders t-trying to destroy town?” Fluttershy whimpered as all of her friends remembered that she was present as well. There was one aspect of the situation that Rarity had failed to inform the pegasus of, but now that mistake was rectified.
Fluttershy swallowed and straightened her posture. She tried to look assertive and bold. “Applejack does this…um…have anything to do with how nervous you got at Town Hall?”
The orange pony pulled off her hat and pressed it to her chest. She looked apologetic as she slowly nodded at Fluttershy. She wanted to spare the yellow pegasus from turmoil, but ignorance was no longer an option. As Applejack prepared to tell the truth, she felt rather proud of Fluttershy’s resilience.
“Yes, sugarcube. We’ve got some no-good miscreants comin’ to town…and I’m sad to say that it’s my fault.”
Author's Note
Dang, this turned out to be one of the longest chapters, I was not expecting that. I tweaked it to be more Rarity-centric after it was already written. I even deliberated on changing the title to something like "The Wolf of Carousel Boutique" but the Breakfast Club reference won out.
Either way, thanks to everybody who has taken the time to read this story!
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
In the few years that Applejack had known Pinkie Pie, she had learned many things. One of the most important lessons that the pink filly had taught her, was never to believe in the impossible. In other words, it was not a good idea to hang around Pinkamena Diane Pie if one despises surprises or whimsical acts of the impossible becoming possible. Applejack realized that her notions of what was normal was just that, a notion, something she came up with in her head.
She had to acknowledge that she could be wrong. Applejack used to think that nopony could jump that high, until she saw Pinkie jump higher. She used to think that nopony could fit in there, until Pinkie squeezed her entire body inside while holding a toaster. She used to think that nopony could eat 80 cans of cheezewhiz back-to-back without throwing up, but then Pinkie went on and ate 150. Granted, the pink filly did end up getting sick, but it took 70 more cans than expected.
Applejack used to think that mixing Pinkie with explosives would spell catastrophe, but then Pinkie started making bits. Lots of bits. The type of bits that could help a farm struggling to readjust after the loss of two members. So, Applejack had taken a chance on Pinkie, hoping that this scheme might work out in her favor. A workshop was set up in her old treehouse while she made a point to steer her brother and grandmother away from the crime scene.
She worked all day on the farm, seeing glimpses of pink, white, yellow, and blue passing through the trees. When the bits came in, Applejack was pleasantly surprised to find a steady influx of income. The workshop would work late into the night since two of the members worked day jobs. And like a moth to a flame, Applejack found herself gravitating toward the soft glow emanating from the carefully crafted windows of the treehouse.
Applejack didn’t know why she stopped by at the end of the day, maybe she wanted proof that the others were working hard, or maybe she found the warmth of the treehouse quite comforting. She came inside with the same despondent disposition each day and observed the others’ labor.
Although, the time spent inside the “lab” as Pinkie called it wasn’t always work, there was a good amount of play as well. They had outfitted the lab with a rickety table fan and a hoof-cranked gramophone. Rarity had spruced the place up with ribbons, bows, and pillows. A cooler was filled with ice, and Pinkie restocked it daily with drinks and snacks. And when the seasons changed, heaters were brought in, thermoses were passed around, and blankets were shared.
Despite the tedium of developing and assembling fireworks, the others found joy in their time spent in close quarters. At first, Applejack was surprised when she heard the laughter resonating from the deserted shack. It reminded her of days gone by, of old smells, and forgotten feelings. She assumed that the others were goofing off, they had to have been, because Applejack never laughed like that when she was working hard.
She came in ready to fuss and scold only to find plenty of fireworks ready to be sold. Pinkie had taught Rarity how to draw detailed explosion patterns, what chemical combinations equated to what reactions, and which ideas were feasible. Rarity had since surpassed her teacher and took over the role, freeing Pinkie to measure, mix, and assemble with Fluttershy’s aid. Once canisters were filled with reactants, the cylinders were capped with cones and returned to Rarity. The unicorn had insisted that the fireworks have a high aesthetic quality, even before ignition. She used paints from her day job to decorate the exterior of the fireworks, creating unique designs for each.
Despite operating primarily during the day, even Rainbow Dash made a point to be at the lab late at night. She still didn’t contribute to the construction, but she did add to the entertainment. Rainbow found the inside of the lab stuffy and hot, which was a great departure from the cool air of Cloudsdale. She opted to casually stand outside with her head and front hooves hanging through the window joining in on the laughter and conversation despite doing none of the work.
It’s not that any of the others really minded though. They giggled and joked around with Rainbow as if Rainbow wasn’t a freeloader. Applejack tried not to look too hard at the blue pegasus when she was around. Rainbow was arrogant and brash. She had no reason to be here, she had no need. Yet the others gave her a pass.
Rarity probably saw the shallowness in Rainbow’s character, but she was a social climber at heart. Applejack knew that the unicorn was too impressed by Rainbow’s fancy mane and her cool exterior to hold her to a decent standard. Fluttershy was sweet, but she was also a doormat. A doormat that Rainbow walked all over. Applejack knew that Rainbow could spit in Fluttershy’s face, and Fluttershy would still end up apologizing to her.
And Pinkie was just being her plan stupid self. Those blue eyes of her’s portrayed nothing but admiration for Rainbow. Was it deserved? Was it necessary? Applejack knew that those types of questions never crossed Pinkie’s mind. It’s why she always hung onto ponies that wanted nothing to do with her. Because no matter how often you showed your true colors to Pinkie, she always insisted that you were worth befriending. It’s why she beamed at the slightest inkling of a smile from Rainbow, and it’s why she continued to pester Applejack.
The other fillies had time to spare and dreams to hold onto. Applejack had nothing. Nothing to spare. Nothing to dream of. Nothing to laugh about. What legitimate joy could anypony find in this life when they found out the truth? When they endured the unbearable and came out in shambles. Did any of them understand how empty all of this was? How cruel this life could be? Nothing was right, nothing was fair. Yet, everypony had to stay here and pretend like they were actually doing something or accomplishing anything. Applejack knew that life was nothing more than a waste of time, and she had to go about her days as if they were meaningful. She hated it. She found no joy in living so disingenuously.
Of course Rainbow could laugh in a situation like this, because Rainbow had no need to worry. None of them really did, because they lived in another world. They didn’t have to worry about raising a little stranger that depends on them for everything. That didn’t have acre after acre of produce to pick and sell. They didn’t have to come home to a house that felt empty, because the very heart of it was ripped out prematurely and unfairly. When they went home, they went home to a complete family. And to Applejack, that was irreconcilable.
The thoughts always came too fast and too strong. Her eyes stung as she occupied the stuffy and hot corner of the treehouse. By this point, it was only a matter of time before the high-pitched voice pierced her thoughts.
“Hey Applejack, are you okay?” asked a stupid pink face with big blue eyes that saw directly into you.
There was always a pause. Then the same secondary question.
“Would you like to stay a bit longer?”
Applejack always wondered why she had to ask that question? When would she learn that it wasn’t deserved?
“Nope.” Simple, resolute, complete. Applejack didn’t need any of them.
They weren’t like Applejack, because they had never suffered like Applejack. They were mere children to her. Much too naive to understand the complexities and sad truths of this life. She got up to take her leave. She marched her way home, night after night, with the same bitter expression. The dull glow of the treehouse grew fainter as she passed through the orchard. By the time she reached her bedroom, there was nothing but the shadowy silhouette of treetops.
They worked long hours, but they still giggled well into the night while Applejack brooded in her cold and heartless house.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Pinkie brought Applejack’s cut of the sales, she always placed the bits in a box of six cupcakes, insisting that Applejack and her family deserved a sweet treat. The young farmer always rolled her eyes at the gesture, confiscating the box quickly before walking away. Even when Applejack’s back was turned, she could tell that Pinkie continued smiling. Maybe it was because Applejack willingly interacted with her, even if it was brief. Or maybe it was because Applejack kept the box of cupcakes instead of dumping it out immediately.
Pinkie’s smile was about as innocent as they came, but Applejack couldn’t help but interpose Rainbow’s smug expression over the pink filly’s face. It irritated Applejack that she actually knew facts about Rainbow’s life. All information on the pegasus was provided against her will and without provocation. Applejack knew that Rainbow was a genuine speedster. She was blessed with an extraordinary aptitude for flight. And she was blessed with a set of parents that never told her “no” a day in her life. So, the blue speedster’s words moved as fast as her wings, a truly impressive feat.
Applejack ground her teeth as Rainbow grated her brain with incessant talking. It made the torture of basking in the treehouse’s gentle glow all the more unbearable. The growing success of the firework operation was Rainbow’s newest bragging right, even though the only ponies she could brag to were the same ponies making the success possible. The idea of actually contributing to one of Rainbow’s many accomplishments made Applejack sick. She tossed and turned in her bed, watching the shadowy treetops, and estimating when the others would close shop and go home.
Rainbow would always complain that the late nights interfered with her salesmanship, but she would still stick around. Applejack would pour her bits into a green chest at the foot of her bed, and she could swear that there was an unusual blue tint to each coin. It ate the orange pony up on the inside. The amount of profit pulled was contingent on Rainbow, it didn’t matter how hard the others worked or for how long. Without Rainbow’s connections or savvy, they wouldn’t be able to sell their product.
It pained Applejack to know that she owed the blue pegasus anything. As if the universe could be any kinder to Dash than it already was, now it expected Applejack to begrudgingly acknowledge her importance to the team. It just couldn’t be this way. Applejack couldn’t take it, she couldn’t bear to listen to Rainbow's boasting, couldn’t stand to see the others fawn over her, and couldn’t tolerate being denied the warmth of the treehouse that her pa had built for her not them.
One day, she arrived earlier than usual, wiping the sweat off her brow and resting her baskets by a tree before entering. The sun was starting to set, but the lab’s work was just beginning. Rarity was inspecting her designs, Rainbow was stationing herself through the wind, and Pinkie and Fluttershy were pulling out their tools and powders. They all grew visibly nervous as Applejack silently sauntered in.
“Listen y’all, I’ve been thinking… I could help with the selling too.”
Pinkie’s reaction was the most volatile of the bunch as her body jerked to the side. She twitched for a few seconds before her ears fell flat against her head. She smiled apologetically.
“Oh, thanks Applejack! The work that you’re doing is good…and I don’t think I can increase your cut any further.”
Pinkie’s concern with compensating Applejack was understandable to everypony, but her hesitancy had a hidden layer to it. Applejack knew that Pinkie would give up a portion of her own cut just to appease her because Pinkie had already done just that. To get Applejack back on the team after adding Rainbow Dash, Pinkie split her own cut in half. Applejack earned 30%, Pinkie got 10%, and the other three got 20%. The agreement was a secret between the earth ponies and Applejack was happy to keep it that way. Pinkie really couldn’t afford to give more, because her funds went to buying materials and her younger sister’s silence and cooperation. Applejack wasn’t even sure if Pinkie was profiting from this venture anymore. She didn't allow herself to feel bad for the pink filly though, because Pinkie was hopelessly devoted to the illusion of joy.
Applejack shook her head and waved her hoof dismissively. “There’s no need for that. Just consider this as me living up to my cut. We Apples are hard workers. We don’t just sit around and let everypony else do the work, we earn our keep. Anyways, if I sell twice as many fireworks, then we’ll bring in a bigger profit overall.”
That got Rainbow’s attention. Half of the pegasus’ body was hanging through the window. “Are you tryna tell me that you’re gonna sell twice as many fireworks as me!”
“Eyup. I got a lot of family that I can sell to. There’s probably more of us Apples than there are of Ponyville foals and your friends combined.”
Pinkie and Rarity exchanged a look, carrying out a wordless conversation with their eyes. Eventually, Rarity shrugged and returned to her designs, Pinkie quietly squealed as she turned to Applejack.
“Okie dokie lokie! That sounds great. We’ll just have to make more to go around!”
With that, the young farmer sealed her fate indefinitely. She didn’t bother to say goodbye as she walked out. Pinkie didn’t try to convince her to stay, because she knew that Applejack would return later that night. She was collecting her baskets when Rainbow came to talk to her.
“If you really think you can get more sales than me, then I look forward to seeing you try. Just make sure to keep it within your circle. I’ve gotten offers from some really creepy weirdos, like black market types. They’d pay a ton…but they’re creeps so I don’t talk to them.”
The earth pony glowered at Rainbow until she flew away. Applejack didn’t need to be told to avoid “‘creepy weirdos,’” she wasn’t a moron. The moon rose in the sky and Applejack pursued the light, sneaking out of her empty home to join the others. Her eyes glistened as the same thoughts buzzed around in her head and Pinkie asked the same questions.
“Hey Applejack, are you okay?”
No response, because this question wasn’t important. There was an infinite pause, then the usual follow-up question.
“Would you like to stay a bit longer?”
“Well, I don’t see how else I might make sure y’all make my share of the product.”
Pinkie always made the same face when she was about to break out into song. Her lips would quiver, her eyes would fill with joy and tears, and her body would shake as the melody threatened to burst out of her chest. She didn’t actually sing, but Applejack knew that she wanted to. She smiled as she returned to her work, but her movements weren’t as swift or meticulous as before.
By candlelight, Applejack would write letters to select cousins all over Equestria. She picked family members that tended to cause trouble. The ones that she was told to be cautious around during family reunions. It was a small portion of the Apple clan, but it was still a formidable source of income. The amount of profit was only increased when Applejack promised discounts to whoever convinced their friends to purchase as well. She was making good on her claim, but it wasn’t enough.
No matter how many bits she earned, Applejack still felt hollow. Her family was happy to see her bring home unprecedented profits from the market. Granny Smith had even prepared special dinners to celebrate Applejack abandoning her usual “snippiness” when talking to customers. But they didn’t even know the truth and she didn’t think that they even cared. If they wanted to believe that Applejack was doing better, then they could live in their delusion. It was so much easier to fool oneself into living the lie that everything was okay, instead of grappling with the crushing reality of life.
The others praised Applejack for her salesmanship, congratulating her, and thanking her for her hard work. She spent more time in the stuffy, hot room surrounded by beating hearts, but she still didn’t laugh like them. She listened to their jokes and partook in their craft. She beat Rainbow at her own game, even adopting the alias Al Capony to set herself apart from Rainbow Dash’s Pony Accardo. She was working harder than ever. But she still wasn’t happy.
She decided that she needed to do more, she needed to be better. She knew the rules, and she knew them well. Pinkie had composed a six-part serenade detailing the Four F's. Their customers were to consist of foals, friends, family, and friends of family. In other words, fireworks were sold to those that they could trust or ponies that they had a degree of relation to.
They kept it in their circles, appearing as shadowy figures to those they knew in dark corners. Or, writing anonymous letters sent from an obscure rock farm in western Equestria. Rarity would offhandedly mention her youthful misadventures with cherry bombs to foals at the toy shop. Dropping hints that there may or may not be a pony selling them in an alleyway if anypony was brave enough to find out.
Applejack continued writing to her family but found that some were more desperate to purchase than others. Rainbow was right about the “‘creepy weirdos’” sending offers. Some of Applejack’s own family were borderline “‘creepy weirdos,’” waiting for their big break. They offered the most enticing deals of all. They swore that they knew ponies who would push their fireworks to the next level. A market of waiting hooves and packed pockets. The young farmer wasn’t a moron. She knew that they were describing the black market, which definitely wasn’t a part of the Four F’s, but she still felt the urge. The urge to be better, the urge to do more, the urge to feel anything, and the urge to bury it all away.
When her cousin Winesap offered his biggest bid yet and offered to put her in contact with his acquaintance called ‘The Fox', Applejack couldn’t resist the temptation. It all felt so easy. What else was she supposed to do? With all this time to waste and all this life to live? It’s not like she had anypony to look out for her or over her. She was alone. Even in that hot and stuffy room, she was surrounded by ponies that she couldn’t understand, yet she wanted to be just like them. It didn’t make any sense and when she tried to understand it, she just became angrier and angrier. It was like living in a daze, where things only clicked for a millisecond before the world started spinning way too fast again. Every second was spent fighting against the pain and she would do anything to win.
So, she would set aside crates of fireworks for Fox and his gang to pick up. She received more than enough compensation. The three that actually made the fireworks were working harder than ever. Rarity decreased her shifts at the toy shop, which she didn’t really mind. The unicorn collaborated with Pinkie to imagine bigger and better firecrackers. Fluttershy still worked diligently, but she seemed to grow more and more uneasy with each day. Rainbow, despite being paid more, was annoyed that she was losing to Applejack. She had no idea how many cousins the typical earth pony had, but she questioned if the amount willing to buy was actually legit.
None of them knew what Applejack was doing, and Applejack had no intention of them finding out. She covered her tracks to the best of her ability and lived comfortably for weeks as the chest overflowed with bits.
Then, Bugs found her.
“I don’t know why I did what I did, not really. It was all so fuzzy. I was compulsive and stupid back then. I was just doin’ stuff for the sake of doin’ it. I didn’t care. I didn’t think. I know it ain’t an excuse and it don’t make it okay, but I am sorry. This could have ended so much differently had I not pushed y’all to do more than we needed to.”
Applejack sniffed as she took another swig of her cider. Finding out about Pinkie’s stash was the only good news that she had heard all week. After their meeting in Town Hall, the gang opted to return to Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie’s loft and party cave proved to be the optimal meeting place for all five of them. They had descended into the basement to speak, and drink, freely. The experience of telling her friends about their mob times was just about as unpleasant the second time as it had been the first. But the feeling was only made worse when Applejack remembered that she was mainly telling Fluttershy. Throughout their initial run as illegal fireworks dealers, the poor yellow pegasus bore the brunt of the guilt. Eventually succumbing to the pressure of keeping and participating in the secret.
Applejack blamed herself for that, and she would regret it for the rest of her life. She tried to avoid reminding Fluttershy of the experience, but now she had to pull her back into the havoc. She nearly burst into tears when Fluttershy wrapped her in a hug. Pulling her close and squeezing tightly.
“It’s okay Applejack, I forgive you. And…none of this would be happening if we all just made better choices,” she whispered as she rubbed the farmer’s back.
She remained by Applejack’s side as she turned to the others. “So um, the mob is aware of our dealing…and they want to come here to m-make us pay?”
“Yep. But they’re not coming, they’re already here. Haven’t you seen those weirdo creeps in the shadows with trench coats and stuff?” Rainbow mumbled as she poured more cider into her mug.
Fluttershy pressed her hoof to her chin tentatively. “The new ponies with trench coats are um g-g-gangsters?”
The others nodded remorsefully, worried about how their timid friend might react to the continuous bad news.
Fluttershy swallowed and straightened up. She was starting to feel something akin to hope growing in her heart. “I-I think I might know one of them.”
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
Don’t Mistake My Kindness for Weakness
“You know a mobster?” Rarity was finally able to ask after picking her jaw off the floor.
Fluttershy ran her hooves through her mane. “Well, um no…but um yes. I mean, I didn’t know that he was a mobster until right now.”
“But you know him?” Rainbow prodded.
“Yes, I-I saw him standing in the shade a few days ago and he looked quite um…overheated in his big coat. I gave him some water and we talked a little bit.”
Applejack was disturbed by Fluttershy’s confession, but the news was promising. She bumped her shoulder against Fluttershy to draw her attention. “What did he tell you?”
“Um…nothing really mobby, but when I told him about my um special talent, he told me about his,” Fluttershy mumbled before waiting for more questions. She saw expecting faces as she looked around.
The yellow pegasus sighed and continued, “Okay um well, he has a special talent for aquatic life but …oh it’s so sad! His family wouldn’t let him pursue it because he had to get into the um ‘family business.’ He looked so sad when he told me, s-so I gave him a nice book on marine life the other day to make him feel better.”
Rainbow Dash scooted closer to Fluttershy, staring directly into her eyes. “So, you talk to him enough that you gave him a gift and he trusted you enough to take it.”
Fluttershy nodded.
Applejack held her hat in one hoof and rubbed the back of her neck with the other. She cringed as a ghastly idea popped into her head. “Could you tell us where he is now, sugarcube?”
Days spent in Ponyville were significantly longer than those in big cities like Manehattan or Chicacolt. Time seemed to slow down in the quaint little town as the little ponies lived their little lives. The other members were ready to blow this popsicle stand, but Pump Metal found the atmosphere welcoming and charming. He did have to admit that the last few days of standing around and looking menacing felt draining, but it was mainly because he wasn't allowed to explore.
He knew that Ponyville and its residents had a lot to offer because he already received kind gestures and greetings from various ponies. Matter of fact, he could detect the silhouette of one of the kind ponies coming into view at that very moment. He placed a hoof above his eyes and squinted at the figure. He smiled as he recognized the yellow pegasus.
“Oh! Good afternoon Fluttershy, it's a pleasure to see you as always.” He received her warmly.
Fluttershy hung back a bit more than she usually did, but Pump could still see her sweet and gentle smile. “And g-good afternoon to you Pump Metal. I hope that you are well.”
Pump chuckled as he spun around to look for the book that Fluttershy had gifted him. He proudly presented it to Fluttershy once it was located. “Oh you know how it is, the days are long and hot. Luckily, I’ve got this little ole book to keep me company.” He made sure that Fluttershy was watching before opening the book to his favorite page. “Did you know that tons of fishes have an organ called the lateral lining? It helps them sense motion in the water so they can hunt and hide and stuff.”
“Oh, Pump…that’s wonderful. Thank you for telling me,” she whispered.
Pump did think that it was wonderful and he was happy to share it with his new friend. He smiled at the pegasus while he showed her the page. His enthusiasm evaporated once he saw the sadness in her eyes. “Hey is everything okay there, dollface? You look a little upset?”
Fluttershy’s eyes fell to the ground as she listened to Pump’s concern. She knew that there wasn’t much time left. “I-I’m…I. Oh Pump, I’m so sorry!”
Pump Metal quirked an eyebrow. “Sorry for wha- mmmmmph.”
The earth pony stallion’s words were silenced when a bag was forced over his head. He didn’t have any time to retaliate before he was knocked over. Rope intertwined itself around his hooves as he heard a collection of voices rushing and pushing each other to go faster. The knots were masterfully tightened as something was forced into his mouth to silence him. He heard multiple ponies grunt and the creak of wheels as he was hoisted into something. He shifted around to no avail as he steadily started to move against his will. The sound of a cart traversing the town, of ponies maintaining the daily routines, and of mares arguing in hushed voices overwhelmed him.
When the bag was finally taken off his head, Pump Metal was shrouded in utter darkness. He could hear hooves clopping away from him, then a piercing light shined down on him from afar. He tried to shield his eyes, but all of his hooves were securely fastened to a chair. He grimaced as he turned from the glare. He could vaguely make out the ponies wearing ski masks that surrounded him.
All that he could tell was that the one who had turned on the light was an orange earth pony, a blue pegasus was suspended in the air, a white unicorn was standing to the side, and a pink earth pony was holding a slingshot and wearing glasses over the ski mask. He was mere seconds away from becoming genuinely frightened before an even bigger light came on overhead.
All five ponies looked at Fluttershy as she switched on the main light, then marched over to the lamp and shut it off. She huffed as she turned to her friends.
“Girls! Isn’t it bad enough that you foalnapped him! There is no need to treat him so poorly!” she scolded as she walked to a corner of the room and returned with a glass of water.
She approached Pump with a sympathetic expression, holding up the glass of water for him to drink. He eyed her suspiciously before taking greedy sips of the water.
“Oh, I’m so sorry Pump Metal. I really wish that we didn’t have to do this to you. Please drink as much as you need and feel free to let us know if you’re hungry or anything.”
The blue pony scoffed and whined at her compassionate accomplice. “Oh come on Fluttershy! This is supposed to be a scary experience for him. How are we supposed to get information out of him if you baby him like that? I’m sure he’s done this to tons of ponies in the past!”
“I am not babying him. I am simply showing him a little kindness. And just because somepony else does something cruel, doesn’t mean that you should do the same.”
The blue pony groaned as she flew over to the orange pony. “Hey, Appl- I mean…Al. Al tell Fluttershy that she’s screwing up our hostage plan.”
The orange pony rubbed her head before slowly pulling up her ski mask. A pair of green eyes stared at Pump as he finished chugging his water. “Ain’t no point in tryin’ to follow the plan, Dash. Shy’s already compromised herself. She seems to trust this pony enough, we ought to do the same.”
More huffing, groaning, and whining ensued as the blue pony flapped over to the white pony. “Yo, tell Al Capony that she’s screwing up our hostage plan by letting Fluttershy screw up our hostage plan.”
It appeared that the white pony was no more sympathetic to the pegasus’ plight as she also removed her ski mask. A luscious purple mane flowed out of the mask and assumed a perfect shape as the unicorn brushed it with a hoof.
“I must say darling, I’m happy as long as I get to take this hideous thing off. I would have prepared better foalnapping attire had I known today’s agenda.” she quipped and cast the ski mask aside.
The blue pony turned to the pink one, her voice lacked the spirit that it had moments ago. “And I’m guessing that you don’t care either way Pinks, as long as you get to keep the mask on?”
The pink one giggled as she stuck her tongue out. “Yeppers!” she chirped.
“Ah, Buck! You guys are so lame!” Pieces of a multicolored mane peaked out of the mask once the blue pony forcefully pulled it up. She scowled at Pump as he began to realize what was happening.
Once Pump had guzzled down his water, Fluttershy lowered the glass from his mouth. He studied the room that he was in, finding no windows or doors. The only feasible entryway was a slide descending from the roof. The room was full of party supplies and filing cabinets. He looked at his foalnappers and gasped.
“Sweet Celestia! You’re the Elements of Harmony.” He panted and looked around frantically. “Is Princess Twilight Sparkle here? Oh, buck.”
Rainbow smirked as she flew closer to Pump. “Yeah, we sure are and she sure is! Twilight’s gonna scorch your flank unless you tell us what we want to know!”
Fluttershy pushed her hoof into Rainbow’s chest, moving the pegasus back from their poor hostage. “Rainbow! That’s not true and you know it. Pump, nopony is going to hurt you if you don’t tell us anything. We would really appreciate some information, but only if you’re comfortable.”
After hearing Fluttershy’s reassuring words, Pump Metal relaxed in his seat as much as the restraints would allow him. He knew that he should be looking for a way out, but he didn’t know if the life out there waiting for him was any better. At least it was nice and cool in the place he was smuggled into and Fluttershy was here to keep him company along with the other Elements. He studied the faces that he had seen in the newspapers many times over. He thought that he was lucky to meet one of them during his time in Ponyville, but now he had five out of six of them.
They weren’t as extraordinary as the stories made them sound. Not to discredit them or anything, but they looked like normal mares to him. Normal mares that were actively kidnapping him. He tried to match faces with names. He already knew Fluttershy, Rainbow and Pinkie were obvious, and Rarity was fitting. Since Twilight wasn’t here, that only one left was Applejack, but that wasn’t the name that Rainbow used for her.
Pump did a double take when he registered what had been said earlier. He looked at Applejack with wide eyes. “Wait, A-Applejack? Applejack, are you really Al Capony?”
The Element of Honesty blushed. “I guess you can say that, but we all kinda are.” She gestured broadly at the collective.
The stallion stared at Fluttershy. “You’re all Al Capony, even you Fluttershy? I didn’t know that you were involved in this type of stuff.” Pump questioned as his ears folded back. He didn’t know why the revelation hurt him so much.
Fluttershy nodded reluctantly. “Yes, Pump. I am Al Capony, and I was involved in this stuff but not anymore.” She studied his features and gasped once she realized what he must be feeling. “But, I didn’t know I was Al Capony until this morning. Oh, p-please don’t think that I only befriended you to foalnap you!”
He bit his cheek as he thought it over. He looked up and into Fluttershy’s turquoise eyes, those eyes alone proved why she was the Element of Kindness. “You know what Fluttershy, I believe you. The type of kindness that you showed me can’t be faked, not even by the best actors in all Equestria.”
Fluttershy smiled at him.
Rainbow Dash made a gagging gesture with her hoof. “Listen bub, if you like Fluttershy so much, could you tell your boss not to blow us to pieces.”
“Trust me, uh, Rainbow Dash, if I could I would. This tiny town doesn’t deserve all this trouble. It’s an okay place, the type of place you’d want your grandparents to live in. I honestly thought that Bugs was way off when it came to this town, but I guess that he was right.”
Rarity winced at the insinuation that Ponyville was a retirement town, but she understood the meaning behind Pump’s words. “In light of the truth, do you still think that Ponyville is worthy of saving?”
The earth pony stallion frowned in frustration. “I kinda do. It’s really nice here and Bugs’ plan isn’t his best. We’ve all been telling him that he shouldn’t attack Ponyville unless he wants to go to war with Celestia herself, but he doesn’t care!”
Applejack let out a low whistle and wiped her brow. “So y’all know that we practically live right underneath Celestia’s muzzle, and y’all still want to destroy us.”
“Yep. You girls pissed Bugs off that bad. He has totally lost it; he’ll stop at nothing until this whole place is burning.”
Rainbow threw up her hooves. “And you want to be a part of that?”
Pump lowered his head in shame. “No. I don’t. But what else am I supposed to do? This is the only life I’ve ever known. Bugs gave me everything.”
A hoof gently rested upon Pump’s shoulder as Fluttershy spoke, “Pump, I’m sorry that you’ve been given no other options. But, if you don’t want to do this, then don’t. If you want to study marine life, then study marine life.”
“Fluttershy is right Pump. What is the point of living a life, if you’re not living it by your own convictions?” Rarity encouraged.
The stallion bit his lip as he listened to the mares’ words. “I-I’m not sure. This is a lot to take in.”
“Of course it’s a lot to take in Pumpy! Because deep down you know it’s not possible.” Pinkie proclaimed cheerfully. The others looked at her in shock as she beamed at Pump Metal, despite the demoralizing nature of her words.
She didn’t let the lack of support dissuade her as she continued, “If Pumpy leaves the family biz he probably won’t be studying the fishes, he’ll be sleeping with them! He can’t just walk away from this and start over, it’s not that easy.”
Pump sighed as a fresh wave of reality washed over him. Wasn’t this supposed to be the funny one? “She’s right, you know? I’ve got nothing outside of this life, nopony to run to for help,” he admitted.
“You don’t, or you didn’t?” Pinkie singsonged as she skated toward Pump Metal. “Pumpy, what if we help you get out?”
“But how? Aren’t you guys directly connected to royalty?”
Pinkie giggled while spinning around in circles. She stopped abruptly and brought her still looping eyes close to Pump Metal. “We are, but royalty doesn’t have to know every itsy bitsy tinsy winsy detail of our lives. And you recognized us right away! We know tons of ponies, and tons of ponies means tons of friends, and tons of friends means tons of favors!”
“So, you’ll help me? …Why?”
Pinkie winked and jumped back. “Well obviously we want to help you, nopony deserves to live a sad life. Also, just think about it in that nice noodle of yours! Why are we all here Pumpy?”
He followed her instructions and thought about everything that he had learned during the hostage situation. He could feel the lightbulb turning on in his skull when he finally realized what Pinkie was teasing at. “Y-you want the information in exchange for my safety? You all are stuck in this too, aren’t you?”
“Yeppers, so we can help each other. Some of the best friendships are built on the desire to prevent mutual destruction. You scritcha scratch our back, and we scritcha scratch yours. You tell us what Bugs is planning, and we’ll protect you from the fallout. I Pinkie Promise!”
He watched the Element of Laughter perform a series of odd movements. He raked his brain for the last time he had felt so hopeful. He wanted to cry. This was the best chance he had in a long time, and it was an easy cost to pay. He nodded slowly, accepting the terms of Pinkie’s promise.
“Okay, Bugs is gonna take revenge on this entire town tomorrow at 7:47 p.m. exactly. He intends to rain fireworks down from the sky. He outfitted seventy of his best pegasus marksmares to launch fireworks directly into town. They’ll be everywhere and they’ve been outfitted with everything. We’re talking strobes, coconuts, brocades, crackles!”
“Even crosettes?” Rainbow asked gravely.
“Yes, even crosettes. Ponyville will be overwhelmed with colorful pyrotechnics.”
Applejack swallowed. “Will there be any ponies stationed on the ground?”
“No, all ground forces are getting the hay out of here. Some of Bugs’ unicorns have mastered the cloudwalking spell. They’ve enchanted a few earth ponies, so that they can stand guard during the ambush.”
“Okay.” Applejack mumbled as she rubbed her face. This attack was a lot more than she was expecting. She sighed and looked at her friends.
“And there’s one last thing…The Big Finale. A stallion-sized chrysanthemum.”
The mares gasped at the audacity. The biggest fireworks that they made were, at most, the size of a stallion’s head, not his entire body. The number of resources needed to create that monstercracker was unfathomable. The explosion could briefly turn night into day.
“Do you know where they intend to drop that monster?” Rainbow muttered, hoping that they could find some good news in Pump’s confession.
The atmosphere was grim, and Pump hated to make it worse, but he wanted to tell them the truth. “I’ve only seen The Big Finale a few times, it’s definitely here. Bugs wants to keep it under wraps. Only his most trusted triggermares are allowed to wield it. I’m not important enough to know specific details.”
“Merciful Luna.” Applejack mumbled. She looked at the varying degrees of despair in her friends. She sighed and decided to be strong. “Alright y’all, I know this looks bad, but we can’t let them win. We’ve all been on the ropes before, and we’ve always come out of it. This ain’t goin’ be any different. One way or the other, we’re goin’ to save our home.”
Rainbow Dash cracked her hooves. “Yeah! We’re not gonna let him bully our town around. We’ve had to fight our way out of bad situations before.”
Fluttershy whimpered as she cowered to the floor. Rarity patted her friend’s back and rolled her eyes. “I would think that our priority is to protect Ponyville, not get into a skirmish with Bugs’ gang.”
“The only way to stop this is to rough them up. They won’t go away if we don’t make them go.” Rainbow Dash sneered, growing tired of her friends’ peaceful approach.
Pinkie shook her head and looked around. “Dashie, I think that Rarity is right. Maybe Bugs can be reasoned with, there is no need to escalate this from terrible to even more terribler.”
Applejack made a point to look directly at Pinkie as she spoke, “Bugs ain’t a reasonable type, not when it comes to this I reckon. He’s lost a lot because of us, and when you lose like that, you just start doin’ stuff no matter how crazy it is. It’s like fallin’ over while bein’ real dizzy. You keep trying to get up and shake it off, but you can’t get yourself steady. You try to get up, but you just fall over and make it worse. You keep doin’ it until somepony steadies you, or you finally decide to lay down and let it pass.”
“See! AJ agrees with me. She’s talked to him, and she knows him best. He won’t let this pass.” Rainbow argued.
Pinkie huffed as she removed her glasses. “I can come up with something if you just…give me a second to think! Applejack, I know what you’re saying, but I-I can’t…that way is no fun. I just need to see the threads come together.”
Applejack took her hat off and fanned herself. It pained her to see Pinkie this way, but they had to keep moving. “I know you don’t like it, but we might have to handle this a little rougher than we prefer. We’ll try doin’ something clever first, but we gotta be prepared to make it sting. That’ll be our Plan B.”
“Trixie, I understand that finding and identifying Al Capony has always been a dream of yours, but maybe we should focus on the impending attack on Ponyville?”
Starlight paced around the library as Trixie laid out all of their evidence on a bulletin board. Headshots of ponies were scattered around the board and red strings were used to indicate connections and relations.
Trixie pinned up an unflattering headshot of Twilight before turning to face Starlight. “There is no need to postpone our search if we’ve already identified Al Capony. We will present the culprit to Mayor Mare when she returns to the castle tomorrow.”
“But what if the firework thief was one of those gang ponies! We don’t want to accuse an innocent pony of this type of crime in front of the mayor!”
Trixie held up a pair of scissors in her magic as she cut another piece of red string. “Perhaps she didn’t do it, but it is convenient that she was present in Twilight’s castle during the time of the theft.”
Starlight rubbed her hooves together. “It just doesn’t feel right,” she mumbled.
Trixie slammed the scissors down in irritation. “Why? Because she is your friend? Friendship cannot stand in the way of the truth!”
Taken aback by her display of anger, Starlight stepped away from Trixie. “B-but Pinkie was with Twilight almost the entire day, how could she have robbed your cart? She didn’t even know about the firecracker?”
“The tricky thing about the pink one is that there are no bounds to what she can do. She could have broken in at any time, she could have been present the whole time, or somepony could have told her. They don’t call the rainbow one the Element of Loyalty for nothing.”
Starlight didn’t know why she even bothered to argue when she had already accepted what Trixie was saying. She knew that all signs pointed to Pinkie, but the idea was making her brain hurt. When she thought of Pinkie, she thought of a silly mare with boundless childlike energy, not a criminal mastermind. But it was possible that Starlight had been led astray by more than one pony that she trusted.
The purple unicorn sat down at the table containing all of their notes and books. She pushed a pile of papers aside and laid her head down as she watched Trixie plot out their investigation. She sighed.
“Trixie, are you okay?”
Trixie didn’t respond right away, deflating as she thought about Starlight’s question. The last few days had been long and tedious. She wasn’t sleeping as usual, mainly because her mind was occupied with speculation and memory. She thought of the mysterious identity of Al Capony until she began to think of who she was when she first heard about Al Capony. She was a filly, a young mare, with a dream.
A dream that took her far away from everything that she knew and made it hard to find any place to call home. She had to be strong because she had to build her own legacy. A dynasty to call her own, but it’s hard to build an empire and keep oneself fed. She knew what it took to make a great show, but it was hard to scrounge together the resources to execute her wildest fantasies. That’s why ponies like Al Capony were so important. Because they were one of the few vendors that never cheated their customers. If anything, they gave more than what was necessary.
The black market is full of desperate ponies willing to sidestep the law to obtain what they need. It’s easy to take advantage of a pony in that situation, and it’s even easier to take advantage of a filly. Whoever Al Capony was, they were a good pony and Trixie always wanted to tell them that. They also might have broken into Trixie’s camper, which was not appreciated.
But, that was before Trixie knew who Al Capony was, back when the mysterious mastermind was whoever Trixie wanted them to be. Now, Trixie knew the truth, and she didn’t like it. Al Capony wasn’t a Robin Hoof or an everyday average pony. Al Capony was chosen. She, like her friends, never faced consequences or ramifications for her actions. They went about their lives without a shred of awareness of what it meant to truly struggle. They could destroy one’s career in twenty-two minutes without a second thought. Trixie was not like Al Capony, and Al Capony was not like Trixie.
Trixie pulled up the seat next to Starlight and sat down. “Starlight, this whole situation makes the Great and Powerful Trixie quite tired and stressed. I will feel much better once this whole mystery is resolved. I won’t be able to rest easy until it is.”
“Okay then. I’m pretty tired and stressed too…I’m not sure if you noticed. Let’s just take it easy today and visit Sugarcube Corner tomorrow. We’re gonna need all of our energy if we expect to get a confession out of Pinkie.”
Starlight wasn’t sure what the pink pony was doing at the moment, but she hoped that it at least burned some of her energy. The unicorns enjoyed the calm and serenity of the library, oblivious to the frenzy of activity plowing through Ponyville.
“What is she doin’?” Apple Bloom whispered as she watched Pinkie create yet another hole in the ground at Ponyville park.
Sweetie Belle cupped her hoof around her mouth and whispered, “I think she’s digging a hole.”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Uh yeah, we see that, Sweetie Belle. But why is she digging a hole?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Why don’t you just ask her.” Sweetie Belle squeaked out.
“Ugh fine. I’ll ask.” Scootaloo spoke louder to get the pink mare’s attention, “Hey Pinkie, what are you doing?”
Pinkie turned away from the shallow hole to address the foals behind her. Her mane, hooves, and muzzle were covered with dirt. She wore a pair of scuba goggles to keep her glasses from getting dirty. She spit out the gardening trowel that she was holding in her mouth.
“Oh, you know! Just digging holes and burying mini-party cannons inside!”
Apple Bloom looked at the hoof-held party cannon to Pinkie’s side and wondered if she should get Applejack. “What…Why are you doing that Pinkie?”
The start of an explanation was beginning to exit Pinkie’s mouth until she was distracted by Rarity. The unicorn had tied her mane up with a bandana and wore gloves on her hooves. Despite wearing the appropriate attire for an impromptu gardening session, Rarity’s pristine white coat was covered in dirt stains.
“Pinkie darling, go ahead and start the next hole. I’ll finish this one.”
Pinkie giggled as she plopped the party cannon into the hole and gave a quick wave to the fillies. Rarity took her place by the shallow hole and shoveled the dirt on top of it. Sweetie Belle gawked at her older sister, uncertain if the dirty mare before her was really Rarity. The dressmaker didn’t seem to care about the mess she was making or who was watching, she smoothed over the former hole with her hooves. A few feet away, Pinkie twitched, looked to the sky, spun around in three circles, then crouched down to dig another hole. Rarity gave the fresh mound a few satisfied pats before addressing the fillies.
“Oh, hello girls. Pinkie and I are quite busy. I know it seems…peculiar, but I assure you that there is no need to worry. Go about your day and enjoy yourselves. Although, you might want to play inside tomorrow.”
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
For the few months that Rainbow had known Pinkie, the filly had been a non-stop talker. That is, if the pink filly wasn’t passing out or babbling incoherently due to excessive enthusiasm. Rainbow Dash was used to that type of reaction when others were in the presence of her awesomeness. She had seen quite a few of her teachers reduced to nonsense muttering when she pulled off an incredible stunt in the middle of class. Sometimes the other fillies and colts would keel over after a race, completely flabbergasted by Rainbow’s elite speed and prowess.
This made Pinkie’s reserved and quiet disposition all the more unsettling. It wasn’t even a Fluttershy type of quiet, it was a more severe and focused quiet. It kind of reminded Rainbow of Applejack, broody and preoccupied but still not as mean. Pinkie was adamant that they finish their work, so Rainbow allowed her to lead the way. The apprentice baker had offered her a raincoat and a pair of galoshes, but Rainbow was turned off by the plethora of hearts and smiley faces that covered them. Pinkie simply shrugged and wore the raincoat and boots over the ones that she already had on.
Despite it being early in the morning, Rainbow didn’t want to risk being seen in the attire. They made their way to Sweet Apple Acres, a location that felt tainted after the explosive 'Star Incident'. Applejack gave them a chest full of bits. A combination of their final paychecks, which none of them would ever be allowed to cash in. At the bottom of the fortune sat Honeybee, the only survivor of the ‘Star Incident.’ The lone firework had found itself outside amidst the chaos, escaping the flames that consumed its counterparts. Rainbow Dash took a moment to study the unique firework, admiring and mourning its potential before she sealed it in its coffin.
Applejack was about as bitter as usual, which made the black eye and fractured forehoof that she was sporting all the more fitting. Pinkie didn’t even try to make her feel better as she collected the lock and key. They departed the farm and struggled along to Froggy Bottom Bogg, hauling the loot with their mouths. Upon arriving, Rainbow understood why she might need the boots. Luckily, she didn’t have to ask as Pinkie wordlessly flipped off the extra pair.
Since coming to Ponyville, Rainbow had endured countless new experiences. She hated to admit it, but she kind of looked forward to it. It was easy to be awesome and to train to become a Wonderbolt, but sometimes Dash wanted to do other stuff to. If she wasn’t practicing, she would go to a party, play pranks, take naps, or hang out with Fluttershy. All of those things were pretty alright, but they weren’t consistent. She didn’t always get anything from the things that she did, and aside from Fluttershy, most of her friends didn’t know her too well. There was always something to do or see in Ponyville, even if the residents were pretty boring. The journey through the bog was a grand enough adventure for the young speedster, even if it was a little unnerving. Not to say that Rainbow was scared or anything, she was just overwhelmed by the sights, sounds, and smells of the wetland.
Once they found a suitable location, she rested on the chest, and looked around wildly. Rainbow knew that she could get attacked or snatched up at any moment, so she stayed alert. She was supposed to be helping Pinkie dig the hole, but the earth pony seemed to be doing a capable enough job on her own. Rainbow listened to the sounds of wildlife as she thought about what she was supposed to do now. Aside from buying a lot of cool stuff with the money, she also kind of enjoyed having something to do that weren’t her usual activities.
Not to say that training or her usual hobbies weren’t fun, but it was kind of nice to be Pony Accardo and not Rainbow Dash for a time. Even if The Rainbow Dash was remarkable, she also had a lot of expectations to live up to. Everypony was telling Rainbow Dash that she was extremely talented, and she knew that she was. But she also knew that she could do better. The Sonic Rainboom had come to her so easily when she was a kid, but she has never been able to repeat it. How could she believe that she was the greatest in all Equestria if she couldn’t even beat a younger and less experienced version of herself.
She worried that one day, everypony might find out that she was a fraud. That she wasn’t capable, special, or great. She tried to keep her head above the water by talking big, but that didn’t stop her from failing. She felt like it was only a matter of time. Rainbow Dash was supposed to be an accomplished speedster, a mythical breaker of the sound barrier, and a future Wonderbolt. Pony Accardo wasn’t supposed to be anything, they had no expectations or natural talents, and they simply lived to sell and be satisfied. It was a good run until it blew up.
Rainbow looked at Pinkie as the earth pony jabbed her shovel into the dirt. She had dug down to the length of her legs and showed no signs of stopping. It took a few hours for her to finish, and it took a little longer than that for Dash to notice. When the pegasus realized that the sound of digging had paused, she ventured to the edge of the hole and found Pinkie absentmindedly staring. It took a couple of tries to get Pinkie’s attention, but she was able hoist her out of the hole to complete their task. They worked together to push the chest in, wincing at the sound of thousands of bits gone to waste.
Rainbow curiously observed as Pinkie picked up a plant and buried it atop the chest. The party pony pulled out a small blade and hissed as she pricked her hoof. The pegasus approached her cautiously.
“W-what are you doing there Pinks?”
Pinkie paid the pegasus no mind as she allowed drops of her blood to fall upon the flower. “I’m just feeding little dewy here. My granny once told me that blood makes them livelier.”
Rainbow grimaced at how casual Pinkie was being but perked up at the opportunity of learning something kind of interesting. “That's cool…So your granny was like Captain Firefly or something? She hunted and trapped monsters and stuff?”
Pinkie shook her head while she tucked the dagger back into her coat and put her boot back on. “Granny Pie and Firefly were lifelong friends, but Granny was only a traveling storyteller. She just knew a lot about monsters because she moved around so much.”
Okay, maybe the residents of Ponyville weren’t completely boring. There were definitely a lot of odd ponies in the mix. Rainbow didn’t know Captain Firefly too well, but the aging pegasus proved to be cooler than average. She had several life-times worth of experience with monsters and outlandish adventures. But the thing that impressed Rainbow the most, was that Firefly miraculously arrived at the lab first when the ‘Star Incident’ occurred. She made sure that the three injured fillies were okay before taking charge. Rainbow was so jarred and exhausted that she followed every instruction, and she didn’t realize the gravity of Firefly’s guidance until she woke up the next morning in her own bed.
Rainbow scratched her head. “Hey Pinkie? I know that you know Captain FF really well and all, but don’t you find it weird that she just made all of this go away?”
Pinkie was preparing to leave, but she paused to answer Rainbow's question, “She didn’t make all of it go away, Dash. We still owe her for talking Mayor Mare into covering for us. And we also owe Mayor Mare for agreeing.”
Rainbow strived to catch up to Pinkie as the pair began their return to Ponyville. The questions forming in her head took precedence over her initial fear of the environment. “Yeah, I know that… but like…she knew exactly what to do and say to get ponies to believe her.”
“She’s old Rainbow. She knows how to talk to ponies. Granny Pie did the same. She had lots of friends and lots of favors to call in. Firefly always says that ‘if you say something with enough confidence then ponies tend to believe you’, does that make sense?” Pinkie stated, looking at Rainbow in hopes of finding understanding.
“Yeah… it does. But that’s the other thing. I don’t get why she wants to protect us so bad. I mean, you’re like family friends with her, but what about me and Shy? We don’t even live here. And the favor that she’s making me do…I’m not sure how it helps her.” Rainbow muttered while pulling up her hooves to keep them from sinking into the mud.
Pinkie maintained her pace with ease and shrugged. “She cares about you and Fluttershy because she likes you girls and wants you both to stick around. She’s…getting old. She might not…be here for much longer. She told me that when she looks at us, she sees the future that she spent her entire life trying to ensure.” Pinkie sighed before deciding to ask Rainbow a question, “What does she want you to do Dash?”
The pegasus blew a raspberry as she recalled Firefly’s odd request. “She wants me to join the Ponyville Weather Team, which is whatever, I guess. The work isn’t too hard, and I get paid, but I’m not sure how that's a favor to her. Like, she’s making Shy help her around her cottage, that's a real favor.”
Pinkie considered Rainbow’s words. “Well, she knows that Fluttershy likes animals and she keeps chickens and stuff at her home. Firefly’s getting up there, but she doesn’t need full time care or anything.”
“So, what are you saying, that’s not really a favor either?” Rainbow questioned.
The pink filly tilted her head from side-to-side. “It is a favor…but I don’t think that she wants to punish us. Remember what she said, ‘it’s all for the greater good.’ I think she just wants us to stay out of trouble, because she believes that we might do something worthwhile one day.”
“Stay out of trouble.’ Rainbow repeated to herself. Seeing that they still had a ways to go, she asked Pinkie another question, “What is she making you do Pinkie?”
Pinkie's neutral expression turned to a frown and her posture slacked. “S-she wants me to focus on and finish my baking apprenticeship, then she wants me to invite my family to the celebration,” she muttered.
“Hey, that's not too bad at all. You were already doing that, how is that supposed to keep you out of trouble?”
Pinkie didn’t respond, opting to focus on getting them out of the bog and into Sugarcube Corner. As they made their way back to town, Rainbow realized why she might need the raincoat. A torrential downpour began as they reached the outskirts of Ponyville. Pinkie helped Rainbow put on the raincoat before they entered the crowd of onlookers. Today was the day of the New Ponyville Time Capsule’s burial. Navigating the fanfare to execute the next part of their plan became impossible as the crowd swelled. They were supposed to melt the key for the chest at Sugarcube Corner while the Cakes were out, but their lack of mobility made this next step unattainable.
They were stuck, sandwiched between various onlookers. It wasn’t an optimal condition for either of the energetic fillies, but the energy of the crowd alleviated some of the tension. Rainbow flexed her wings under her coat as they stood by the road, waiting to see the Time Capsule pass by. Despite the poor weather, the excitement in the air was palpable. Ponies cheered and laughed as performers and entertainers marched in the streets. It seemed like the type of thing that Pinkie would be a part of, but the day’s agenda took priority. Rainbow looked at Pinkie’s dour expression and bit her lip. She was getting kind of hungry, and she had noticed Pinkie carrying around a lunchbox earlier.
Rainbow was beginning to wonder if Pinkie was a mind reader, because the pink filly hoofed over her lunchbox without being asked. Rainbow began snacking on a bag of chips as she watched the parade go by. When Pinkie finally spoke again, her words were hushed and uncertain.
“I…We…were getting so close. Now everythings all messed up. And we made all those bits, but nopony gets to use them.” she mumbled.
Dash looked at her while munching. “Yeah, it sucks.”
Pinkie looked at the key in her hoof and sighed. “I wish there was something we could do. I’m sure that somepony else could use the money.”
The pegasus quit her snacking to consider it. “You’re not wrong. Like you said, Captain Firefly wants us to stay out of trouble and do better. You know, be the ponies that make this world happier, not more…explosive.”
They thought about what to do next in silence. Applejack had ordered them to dispose of the key, and they were planning on doing just that. But now, things felt different. Rainbow yelped when the lunchbox was snatched from her hooves. She looked over at Pinkie and was relieved to see a wild smile overtaking her features.
“I think I just had the best idea ever!” She cheered as she removed a twinkie from the lunchbox.
“You’re not gonna eat the key, are you?” Dash asked while grimacing.
“No silly, I’m hiding it!”
‘You’re hiding it?” Dash repeated as the sound of trumpets blared in the distance. She watched Pinkie stuff the key into the twinkie then miraculously reseal the wrapper. “Oh! Oh! Are you gonna throw it into the Time Capsule?”
Pinkie beamed as she began to shut the lunchbox. Rainbow abruptly stopped her with a hoof. “Wait! How are they supposed to know where to find the loot?”
“Oh, you’re right! I love teamwork…let’s see. Hey, I’ll just write a riddle.” Pinkie reached into her cloak and retrieved a pen. Rainbow noticed that the pen had the same character as the one seen on the lunchbox. She smiled at Pinkie’s idea.
“A riddle? Just like a real treasure hunt!” Rainbow shouted, growing excited about being the mysterious figure in a future pony’s adventure. It looked like Pony Accardo wasn’t out of the game just yet.
“Yeppers! Now lets see…moss…solar…journey…ignite.” Pinkie stuck her tongue out as she jotted down on a sheet of paper. She was crouching down to avoid the rain, a task made easier since Rainbow used her own raincoat to shield the pink pony.
As she finished, she raised her pen enthusiastically. “Now for a secret code name!”
Rainbow leaned over to get a better look at the note. Pinkie had done a pretty good job in the time allotted. She read over the name and raised an eyebrow
“Cloudy?” Rainbow questioned.
Pinkie smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, it’s…it’s my mom’s first name. It’s the only name I could think of.”
Rainbow nodded, deciding that she might as well contribute too. “Okay Pinkie, how about Whistles for the second part? It’s the second part of my mom’s name.”
“Whistles.” Pinkie repeated before jotting the name down. She began to blow on the paper, causing a majority of the ink to disappear. The only thing that remained were five words: A Journey You Must Make.
Pinkie folded up the note and sealed it in her lunchbox. She held it fondly before offering it to Rainbow Dash. The New Ponyville Time Capsule came into view, and Rainbow prayed that her aim was still as good under the rain as it was over it. She tossed it and fought the urge to cheer as it landed in the time capsule. A few of the ponies around them shot the fillies disapproving looks, but they didn’t care. Rainbow Dash smiled, because she knew that her work was finally done.
Starlight scowled at a trench coated pony reading the morning paper in the alleyway as they arrived at Sugarcube Corner. The aura of the rising sun gave everything an orange tint. Birds sang as ponies opened their windows to let the fresh morning air in. It was shaping up to be a beautiful day, but Starlight only grew more nervous as they came to Pinkie’s work and place of residence. Her nervousness was doubled when she noticed Maud Pie sitting on the steps leading to the bakery’s entrance.
The purple unicorn tried to signal Trixie to slow their walking pace, but Trixie ignored her and did the opposite. The magician broke from her side and rushed toward Maud.
“Well, if it isn’t Maud Pie. Or should I say TRAITOR!” Trixie exclaimed as she rolled each of the r’s in traitor.
“Good morning, Trixie.”
Trixie scoffed and stuck up her nose. “Is it good, Maud? I assume that you know why we are here and who we are here for.”
Maud rubbed her hoof against the stone steps. “I will neither confirm nor deny if I know what you are doing here, but I will ensure that you do not get in.”
“Excuse me! Do you really think that you can stop the Great and Powerful Trixie and her assistant from entering the premises?”
Maud’s blinks were slow and hostile. “I do.”
The blue unicorn’s eye twitched as she tried to understand what was happening. Maud held strong, standing guard in front of the door. Trixie decided to try logic again. “You’re aware of why we are here? You know what she has done? Do you have any idea what we’re capable of?”
Maud cracked her neck as she stared directly into Trixie’s soul. “It doesn’t matter. You would be surprised by what I have done to protect my family.”
“Oh- you…” Trixie fumed as she stomped her hooves. She looked like she was about to say more, but Starlight placed herself between them.
“Trixie, relax! Maud’s just looking out for her sister. Maybe we should reconsider this. It’s not worth making such a fuss.”
“A fuss! A fuss! Since when has consequences been defined as a fuss! At first, I wanted to find Al Capony because I emulated him, but now I see that we let those that we worship get away with way too much!” Trixie cried; she was shocked by her friends’ blatant disregard for justice.
Starlight shook her head. “It’s not like that Trixie!”
Trixie glared at Starlight. “It’s not? Then why do you keep fighting me on this! You and I had to suffer for our wrong-doings, why not any of them!”
“But what about forgiveness! It all happened years ago, and they’ve done more than enough to make up for it.” Starlight argued.
Trixie felt her face growing warm with frustration. “That would be a wonderful moral if everypony got the opportunity to save the world over and over. But most of us don’t get the chance to make things right. We’re forced to fester in our transgressions, no matter how small or insignificant they were.”
“Just look at me! I did all types of terrible stuff and basically got a slap on the hoof for it. Some might call it a loose house arrest, but I’d take living in a castle with a princess any day over rotting in a maximum-security prison or being caged in Tartarus!” Starlight held a hoof out to Trixie. “I never would have gotten that chance if they had never given it to me. Forgiven ponies, forgive ponies. If we put good out into this world, then we receive it back tenfold.”
The magician turned away from her friend’s gesture. “Are you certain that they did that because they actually cared about good or because they knew that you were powerful enough to escape and wreak havoc again! They simply wanted to ensure that nothing else would go wrong. Their forgiveness wasn’t giving back, it was insurance.”
Seeing the hurt in Starlight’s face Maud placed a comforting hoof on her shoulder. “Trixie, that’s enough.”
“But I’m not done yet. None of this is done, but it will be soon! You both have been brainwashed by Al Capony and her band of shadow government goons! Don’t you think Trixie deserved better treatment for her errors? She barely even did anything when compared to the others. But since she was not destined for greatness or deemed powerful enough, she was not forgiven. It was only when she was shoehorned in by Starlight, that she was allowed to feel atonement,” Trixie cried as she pushed her hooves into the dirt.
Starlight swallowed. “Trixie…I-I”
One of the windows in Sugarcube Corner was swiftly pulled open, startling the three mares into silence. Mrs. Cake held a bucket in her hooves as she peaked out the window. The baker was caught off-guard by the presence of customers this early in the morning but smiled when she recognized them.
“Oh, good morning dearies! Could you do me a favor and step to the side a smidge…oh yes perfect just like that! I need to pour this old water out real quick.” Mrs. Cake hummed a tune as she tipped the bucket over, water splashed up at the mares’ hooves, but none of them moved.
Mrs. Cake’s smile waned as she saw that they were in low spirits. “Oh no…I hope you three weren’t waiting for us to open. It’s much too early girls, you all should rush back to bed and get some rest!”
Trixie wiped her eyes and stepped forward. “We are not in search of pastries Mrs. Cake; we are here for your employee. The pink one.”
“You’re here for Pinkie? Oh, I’ll tell you what, that girl has been running around like a chicken with its head cut off! I’ve been hearing her at all hours of the night pacing around in that room of hers. I thought that she might be planning a party for Twilight since all of her friends have been coming in and out nonstop, but now I’m not so sure. She better not still be mad about having to wear those glasses! Am I wrong for wanting her to be able see her own hoof in front of her face?”
Mrs. Cake frowned as she gave the bucket two more shakes for good measure. She looked at the confused faces of the other mares and remembered that Trixie had asked a question.
“Oops sorry girls! Pinkie is not in at the moment; I don’t even know if she came in last night. She’s off doing Celestia knows what with Celestia knows who for Celesta knows why.”
“The pink one is missing?” Trixie growled, frustrated with the lack of a clear answer.
Mrs. Cake didn’t seem to notice Trixie’s annoyance, she looked out at the town thoughtfully. “Well, she’s not quite missing. The other day, Cranky Doodle stopped by to tell me that Pinkie was digging potholes around town. Knowing her, she might still be doing that. You know, she gets these little whims from time to time. I told Cranky that not even Carrot or I can reel her in when she gets like that. You just gotta let her finish and pray that it doesn’t end in another arrest or an egregious injury.”
Trixie stared at Mrs. Cake with a tired expression. “So, she’s somewhere around town?”
Mrs. Cake smiled and nodded. “Yes dearie, it’s most likely that she’s still digging holes.”
Mrs. Cake wasn’t sure what was happening, but Trixie, Maud, and Starlight were all silently staring at each other. She was slowly starting to retreat from the window when the mares broke out into a mad dash. Trixie took the lead as the other two chased after her. Mrs. Cake locked the window as they disappeared down the road.
The race to find Pinkie stretched on throughout the day. As ponies began to emerge on the streets, Trixie started grilling them for information. No matter who she asked, the answer was always annoyingly similar. The confronted pony would confirm that they saw Pinkie at a specific location, but upon arriving at said location, Pinkie was not there. Trixie would ask another pony in the vicinity the same question, and the cycle would repeat. Maud and Starlight struggled to keep up with Trixie’s frantic hunt, narrowly avoiding collisions and conversations.
They followed her to the lake and found nothing but a mound of freshly dug dirt. Trixie stood over the fresh soil and stomped her hooves. She groaned as Starlight and Maud caught up to her.
Starlight spoke as gently as her winded voice allowed, “Trixie, why don’t we just talk about this.”
Trixie swiveled around and pushed Starlight away. “There is nothing to talk about! We cannot find her, because she is hiding! She knows what she has done, and she is trying to run from it!”
Trixie’s shouting carried throughout the near vacant lake, and a nearby bush rustled in response to the disturbance. A bunny lept from the leaves and studied the newcomers. It was closely pursued by Fluttershy.
The pegasus carefully placed a hoof in front of the bunny and pulled it closer. “Oh my…Thank goodness it’s just you three. I thought that…that… um… s-something bad was happening out here.”
Starlight bowed her head and spoke quietly. “We’re sorry Fluttershy, we didn’t mean to scare you. We were looking for Pinkie…what are you up to?”
Fluttershy cradled the bunny in her hooves as more bunnies emerged behind her. She turned around and benignly shooed them back. She looked at the curious bunny fondly before allowing it to return with the others. The confidence that she sourced from her animal care evaporated as she remembered the unicorns and earth pony before her.
“Oh um…I’m just…um helping the bunnies find a nice place to hide.” Fluttershy’s eyes grew wide as she rubbed her hooves together. “Hide from the…um…the… big storm, yeah. Rainbow said a storm is coming and I’ve been um warning my little animal friends to take cover.”
Trixie rolled her eyes. She didn’t have time to put up with the yellow one’s sentimentality. Before running to the lake, she had seen Mayor Mare heading to Twilight’s Castle. “And Pinkie?”
Fluttershy combed her mane with her hooves, partially obscuring her face. “Pinkie is…um…she’s been digging holes. It’s very important work. It’s b-best not to bother her. Not to say that you’d be a bother or anything, but she’s…um…very busy at the moment.”
“How unfortunate, ‘Fluttershy.’” Trixie said simply. The pegasus seemed to shrink as Trixie glared at her. “Do me a favor and tell ‘Pinkie’ that I need to speak to her if you see her.”
Fluttershy meekly nodded as Trixie stormed away.
Storm clouds rolled overhead as the trio found themselves in the park. It seemed that a majority of the dug-up mounds were located there, with potholes appearing in every direction. Trixie navigated them carefully, uncertain of what type of mind game Pinkie was playing now. Luckily enough, the arguing between the three had reached an uneasy treatise as they covered the entirety of Ponyville on hoof. Exhausted from the day’s activity, Starlight leaned against a tree and watched Trixie scowl into the distance.
Maud sat down in the grass as a strong gust of wind blew her mane to the side. “You won’t find her Trixie. Pinkie won’t be found if she doesn’t want to be found.”
“And why doesn’t she want to be found? We have been looking for her for hours and she is nowhere and everywhere all at once.”
“I didn’t want to be found because I wasn’t done digging my holes you silly filly!” Pinkie giggled, as she leapt into the air and swung from a tree branch.
Rarity hesitantly approached from behind her. They were both disheveled and covered in dirt. Maud was quick to join them, pulling her sister down and taking a defensive stance in front of her.
“Pinkie, you need to run,” Maud demanded, her cyan eyes were piercing.
“And why would I do that! I just found you girls after you’ve spent all day looking for me. It’s only fair that I stop and talk to Trixie.” Her expression softened as she wrapped her hooves around her sister. She whispered into her sister’s ear, “Everything is gonna be okay. I love you so much Maud, and I’m sorry. I can’t keep running from this.”
Rarity gasped as Pinkie let Maud go and walked over to Trixie. Her voice lacked its usual buoyancy. “I’m here Trixie, you got me.”
Trixie’s weariness faded once she heard Pinkie’s surrender. She squealed before assuming her showmare voice, “Pinkie, whatever your middle name is, Pie!” She announced, “By the power vested in me by one Princess Twilight Sparkle and the greater Ponyville, I hereby pronounce you under arrest for bootlegging, smuggling, cart-theft, and purposely avoiding the Great and Powerful Trixie!”
Pinkie held out her hooves for Trixie to cuff. “I…do not have hoof cuffs at the moment. You will just have to follow me to face trial at Twilight’s Castle. Now, let’s go…Al Capony!”
Starlight deliberated on who to follow. Maud and Rarity stood by with shocked expressions watching Trixie usher Pinkie away. She mouthed an apology to Maud before following Trixie. The two remaining ponies stood in silence as they disappeared.
It took a moment for Rarity to regain her senses before she grabbed Maud by the shoulders. “Oh Maud, darling, I am so sorry that this is happening! But time is of the essence. I know that your heart is probably telling you to pursue Pinkie right away, but I promise you that it would be more fortuitous to gather the others. I am going to find Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Might you be a dear and find Fluttershy before heading to the castle?”
Rarity tilted her head in hopes that her words had gotten through to the gray pony. Maud’s eyes focused and keyed in on the unicorn.
She sounded utterly devastated as she responded to Rarity’s inquiry, “Yeah, okay.”
Author's Note
"This is my best idea ever!"- Pinkamena Diane Pie, mere seconds before making a poor decision.
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
Sit There and Look Innocent
Twilight cast her head down in shame as she informed Mayor Mare that she could not find the culprit behind the firecracker theft. A part of her knew that this outcome was inevitable, but that didn’t make it any less painful. Ever since she was a filly, she hated to disappoint any authority figure. She stole a look at Mayor Mare and was somewhat pleased to see that the older mare didn’t look angry or disappointed. She began to formulate another apology when the doors burst open, and students started filtering in.
The alicorn turned around to see the crowd part as Trixie sauntered through, but she wasn’t alone. The magician turned detective held the limp hoof of Pinkie Pie. Twilight cocked her head as she studied her friend. The pink mare’s front half was covered in dirt, her mane and fur were in a disarray, and she wore a pair of bulky goggles over her already bulky glasses, but that wasn’t too out of character for the peculiar party pony. What was, was the lack of a smile and the absence of laughter. Pinkie refused to meet her friend’s eye as they waited for Trixie to explain what was happening.
“Stop right there Mayor Mare! We all know that Twilight has failed you, but the Great and Powerful Trixie has not! I have yet to locate the firecracker, but I have located the perpetrator of all this mayhem. Behold Al Capony a.k.a Pinkie Pie!”
Twilight’s jaw dropped as Trixie held her hooves up to showcase the culprit. Mayor Mare sputtered and pushed up her glasses. She turned to Twilight in confusion. “Twilight this is preposterous! I know that you like to turn in results but framing one of your own friends to save time is not the answer. The only crime that Pinkie is guilty of is digging up safety hazards all around town…which we will be discussing in my office later.”
Twilight raised her hooves defensively. “I-I had no idea about this Mayor Mare. I apologize. I should have supervised this investigation much better.” She looked around wildly until she locked eyes with Spike. The little dragon was riding atop Starlight’s back and pointed the unicorn’s attention to Twilight. The alicorn waved Starlight over before continuing, “I’m sure that Starlight has a better idea of what is happening. Please excuse me while I speak to her.”
Twilight smiled courteously before teleporting over to the desperately confused Starlight and Spike. She pulled them into a pseudo-huddle and whispered in distress, “Starlight, what the hay is going on here! Why is Trixie trying to turn Pinkie in and why are the students here?”
By the looks on the student’s faces, it was apparent that they didn’t know why they were led here either. Trixie and Professor Pie had come barreling through the hallway, banging on doors and shouting for them to follow.
Starlight shrugged as she gave Twilight a guilty look. “I’m not really sure about the second part of the question.”
“But you know about the first?” Twilight whisper-yelled.
“I-I do. Pinkie…is Al Capony and Trixie…wants to expose her.” Starlight mumbled.
Spike nearly toppled over. The Princess stepped back, trying to let her brain process the information given. “Pinkie is Al Capony?” She said a little too loudly, “What are you...What are you talking about! Th-that can’t be right.”
“Au contraire Lightlet! Pinkie is Al Capony and I’m going to prove it to everycreature right here and right now! Somecreature bring me a chair! You will all serve as a jury while we try your ‘professor’ for high crimes, misdemeanors, and treason!”
Trixie’s proclamation seemed to gain everycreature’s attention as they staunchly hung on to every word. A pegasus flew over with a chair and Pinkie was forced to sit down. The party pony pushed up her goggles, leaving a clean outline where the dirt did not touch. A spotlight shined down from above as Trixie used her magic to pull over a bulletin board covered in pictures and red strings.
“Come one, come all! Gather around to hear the story of one Al Capony, or should I say Pinkie Pie.”
Twilight was certain that only a few creatures in the room actually knew who Al Capony was, but the students gasped nonetheless. Knowing that her audience was hooked, Trixie continued on with the performance of a lifetime.
“Some years ago, your beloved professor was a young mare and despite her having a stable home and source of income, she was in need of bits. She decided that she needed more, way more. Being an aspiring entertainer, Pinkie stuck to what she knew. The pizzazz! The razzle dazzle!”
All eyes of the crowd fell onto their fellow students, Pizzazz and Razzle Dazzle. The unicorn and pegasus, respectively, perked up at the sudden attention. They both shrugged, unsure of what they had to do with Pinkie’s past escapades. Trixie spoke louder to regain control.
“She knew that fireworks were the way to go if she wanted to make big bits. But what was she to do? She was much too young to sell fireworks legally, I guess she just had to cut her losses and wait until she came of age. Now, that is what any sane pony might do, but let me ask you: Would you describe your teacher as sane?”
Murmurs floated throughout the crowd until one student piped up and shouted, “Buck no! Professor Pie is insane, but that’s what makes her class so fun!”
A rumble of applause broke out as the students cheered and chanted Pinkie’s name. Pinkie smiled a bit at the student’s enthusiasm, but still focused on the polished floors underneath her. Trixie frowned at the students' unwavering loyalty and cleared her throat.
“Like the insane pony that she is, Pinkie developed a plan. An insane plan. A dangerous plan! She used her adept understanding of engineering and her knowledge of chemical composition, a skill acquired from a few years of baking and rock farming, to cook up hundreds to thousands of high-end firecrackers and sold them illegally!”
The Great and Powerful prosecutor waited for the gasp, instead, she heard another roar of applause. Statements of praise and acclaim were shouted with fervor.
“Woah, Professor Pie used to smuggle stuff!”
“And I thought Professor Dash was the cool one!”
“Yo Professor P, are you still selling! I want to graduate with a big bang!”
Trixie’s eye twitched as the students somehow became more supportive of their teacher. They eagerly waited for the next bombshell to drop.
“You hooligans may think that your teacher’s antics are ‘cool’ and ‘trendy,’ but you should think again! Ponies could have gotten hurt by your teacher’s negligent ambition and greed. For Celestia’s sake, she sold cherry bombs to FOALS! Impressionable youths wielding explosives, manipulated by the older filly that threw their cutecinera’s and gave them cupcakes! Even worse, she sold her ‘goods’ on the black market!”
For the first time since the trial had started, the students were completely quiet. It appears that the reality of their teachers' misdeeds was settling in. The heaviness of the situation compelled one colt to speak from the heart.
“Oh yeah! I bet your mom sold her ‘goods’ on the black market too!”
The room exploded in jeering and laughter as any semblance of seriousness disappeared. Trixie’s face grew red, partially in anger and partially in shame. She shoved her bulletin board aside and dropped the showmare shtick. Now, she was angrymare, she lost her composure as she yelled at the sneering juveniles.
“YOU ALL THINK THIS IS FUNNY! There is nothing funny about dealing on the black market! The ponies there are so troubled and dangerous that they tried to KILL your professor! They tried to blow her up! It almost took the lives of two other ponies as well. And worst of all! Your professor’s criminal tendencies led her to lie, plot, and scheme! She broke into my wagon and stole a firecracker!”
“But why would she steal a firecracker if she could just make her own?” A voice asked from the crowd.
Trixie stopped, trying to see who had said that. “Because she made the firecracker!” she retorted.
“If it was her’s, then why did you have it?” Chimed another voice, also unknown to Trixie.
“I had it because I found it!” Trixie explained, squinting as she peered into the audience.
“Then how did you find it? Do you just go around looking for illegal fireworks to steal?”
The Great and Powerful prosecutor huffed. “I did not steal it! Your professor stole it back after I found it!”
“Professor Princess Twilight? Do we get extra credit for sitting through this lecture?” Asked yet another anonymous voice.
Twilight was having a bit of a hard time responding to the question since her computer brain had crashed thirty seconds into this disaster. Spike stood on his tippy toes to reach up and close Twilight’s mouth, trying to stop her from drooling while everycreature waited for a logical edict. Her ear twitched as she faintly heard a siren blaring in the distance.
Trixie fumed at the lack of respect, the lack of decorum, the lack of decency, and the lack of an appropriate response. Who would have thought that a group of juveniles sent to learn about the merits of friendship would be so ill-adjusted? It made her furious beyond belief because these children were doing exactly what everypony else did when faced with negative sentiments about those they love.
Trixie spat as her investigation crumbled before her. “No! No! There will be NO extra credit for you or you or you! None of you deserve extra credit! This is not a lecture, this is a trial, and you are a disgustingly partial jury! Would any of you defend a stranger as vehemently as you are defending Professor Pie? What about somecreature that you disagree with or hate? You would probably do the exact opposite! Nocreature would fight this hard, over something this obviously wrong, for the average creature.”
Trixie panted as her head began to hurt. She was disillusioned by the lack of concern over what she had discovered. Her eyes met those of the crowd, and she was surprised to see that everycreature was watching her with rapt attention. With a heavy heart, she continued her plea.
“Why does she get the privilege of getting leeway? Of getting her crimes laughed into silly antics? Because you like or know her? That’s not fair and it’s not just! Does your teacher deserve to be above the law! Above decency! Above consequences! Do any of you really think that you would be treated the same? We are not like them. We are not favored! We receive justice while they receive impunity.”
Tears formed in Starlight’s eyes as she listened to Trixie’s impassioned speech. She had argued with Trixie all day, but she hadn’t listened. It was apparent that her friend was in pain and that she had stumbled upon feelings left unresolved. She processed what her friend was saying, despite the implication making her uncomfortable. Starlight knew that she had to let Trixie continue because these weren’t thoughts that just disappeared.
“You do not see it, because you are blind. There is an entire network of ponies working to protect them! Yes, it appears that the Great and Powerful Trixie is the only pony in all Equestria who has not fed into the degenerate propaganda of the Shadow Government! The ponies pulling the strings! The lunatics! The Celestriots! The cults counting down to the Day of Last Light! The political elite! The Master Manipulators. I…Trixie Lulamoon…am the last bastion of a dying sensibility!”
The sound of a slap echoed throughout the room as Starlight facehoofed. Trixie was so unbelievably close. But right when she had them, she lost them. The magician drew in one final breath before she delivered her final line.
“And Celestia as my witness! Pinkie Pie is AL CAPONY! The PONY ACCARDO! The WINDY WHISTLES! And with that Madame Princess Sparkle…I. Rest. My. Case!”
Trixie took a bow, but nocreature applauded her emotional appeal. An awkward silence spread as the students tried to understand what they had heard, while Spike tried to bring Twilight back out of her trance. Mayor Mare shifted her eyes around the room as she cleared her throat.
“Well…that was…certainly something enlightening. Twilight, your…uh…curriculum is definitely unconventional. I think tha-”
The mayor was cut off when a familiar voice boomed from the back of the crowd, “Now you listen up right now Trixie! If that mare right there is Al Capony! Then I, Apple Jacqueline Apple, am also Al Capony!”
The crowd gasped as Applejack and Maud pushed their way through the crowd. Applejack walked to the front and removed her hat, she nodded to Pinkie and whispered, “We got each other.”
She sighed before she faced the jury and said her piece, “Pinkie may be a genius and a great multi-tasker, but she couldn’t have done everything she did all on her lonesome. I’m more Al Capony than she is! I’m the one that started sellin’ the stuff on the black market. Those ponies came to Sweet Apple Acres in search of me, not her!”
A raspy voice spoke over the frenzy of chatter. “And you really think that Pinks had the time to sell to foals? She was busy all day…heck…both of them were!” Rainbow Dash soared to the front of the room, standing beside Applejack, “Me, on the other hoof. I had plenty of time to kill. I sold those fireworks to the tots and made a killing off of them! I am Al Capony! Even if Pony Accardo is a way cooler name.”
“And who do you think made those fireworks so fabulous?” Rarity flipped her mane as she sauntered through the crowd. “That’s not to say that Pinkie is a subpar artist, quite the contrary actually, but I enjoyed every minute of bringing our creative vision to life! I encouraged the foals to look for the cherry bomb seller and I decorated almost all of those fireworks by hoof. I am Al Capony!”
“A-A-And I helped Pinkie put the fireworks together. We even came up with ideas to make them safer and more accessible!” Fluttershy sobbed as she followed Rarity’s path through the crowd, “And you know what everycreature! No gang or mob or alleyway pony blew up the treehouse. I DID! The pressure was too m-much and I cracked! One day, I-I just lit a match and held it up! Rainbow tackled me to the ground and blew it out. B-b-but then it reignited! A-a-a-and everything started exploding! It was only thanks to Pinkie and Dash’s quick thinking that we got out! …But I am Al Capony! I’m so sorry everycreature!”
A hoof rose up in the crowd. “Well, if they’re Al Capony! Then so am I!”
Another rose up. “Me too! Me too! I am Al Capony!”
“Hey everycreature, I’m Al Capony.”
“Oh yeah? So am I! I’m Al Capony!”
“He’s Al Capony! She’s Al Capony! Their Al Capony! We’re ALL Al Capony!” The students cheered as they began to chant Al Capony over and over again. Trixie was at a loss for words. She had been here throughout the entire process, but she could not grasp what was going on. This wasn’t supposed to happen, they weren’t supposed to get away with this. Strangely enough, Applejack appeared to agree with Trixie's thinking as she quieted down the crowd of rowdy youngsters.
“Alright listen now everycreature, we appreciate the gesture, but this is not one of them spartakissy situations. We’re bein’ dead serious about bein’ Al Capony. Y’all might think that you’re a bunch of hot messes, but WE were smoldering piles of mess! There ain’t nothin’ cool about what we did. It was real irresponsible.”
Rainbow groaned as she put on her best ‘responsible adult face.’ “As much as I hate to say it, Apple Capony is right on the money. You might think that the thrill and the reward of what you’re doing is worth it, but it’s not. As soon as you get caught, things get serious really fast. And it’s also morally reprehensible or whatever.”
Applejack smiled at the blue pegasus as the crowd finally simmered down. It looked like the students were finally reaping a lesson from this whole fiasco. The farmer turned from the crowd and spoke to Dash in a hushed tone.
“Did you sound the alarm and tell everypony to stay indoors?”
Rainbow nodded before addressing the crowd one last time, “Also, everycreature do me a favor and stay in this room until further notice! Sweet Celestia, I hope all of you are here.”
The group of students murmured as they accounted for each other. The Elements let out a collective sigh as students’ eyes moved away from them. Starlight and Maud tried to get Trixie to stand as she lay defeated on the ground. The Elements exchanged congratulations until they remembered that Twilight and Mayor Mare had witnessed the entire confession. Twilight landed with a thud as Spike sprinted to catch up. It was apparent to them that Twilight was not happy.
“Girls! What is this? Are you aware that Al Capony is on the Royal Guard’s Watchlist? You could all get in a lot of trouble for this.”
Mayor Mare placed a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “She’s right. This horrifying confession has impacted me deeply. I promised the ponies of this town that I might vanquish the tyranny of Al Capony. The revelation that you all, my most trusted and beloved citizens, are that very criminal…Excuse me, I’m sorry, it’s all too much.”
Applejack frowned and rolled her eyes as Mayor Mare put on an award-winning performance. She might have managed to even muster up tears from her dry, antiquated tear ducts. Trixie sprung up with enthusiasm.
“And will they be punished, your honor? Will they finally feel the red, hot burn of justice on their flanks?” Trixie complemented her plea with an immaculate pair of puppy dog eyes.
Mayor Mare wiped her eyes. “Of course, Trixie. This grave misdeed has long gone unpunished. I have quite a few public work projects that need to be finished. Community service awaits in all of your futures.”
“Ah fooey, that ain’t too bad. That’s basically what we do all the time anyway. This wrapped up quite nicely don’t ya think Pinkie?” Applejack turned to see her friend's reaction only to see an empty chair. “Uh… Where’s Pinkie?”
The mares looked around until Rainbow spotted the pink mare at the other side of the room. Pinkie was shrouded in darkness as thunder crackled outside. Purple light filtered out of the stained glass onto her, producing a minor glint from her glasses. She stood ominously and quietly alone, holding something up in her hooves. Rainbow squinted to get a better look and almost screamed when she saw what Pinkie was holding. She waved her hoof frantically to get her friends’ attention.
She pointed at the pink specter occupying the shadows. “Um…guys? Who gave Pinkie that crossbow?”
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
Twilight finished corralling the students as far away from Pinkie as possible, thanking her lucky stars that Trixie opted to hold court in one of the Castle’s most spacious rooms. If they were truly lucky, the students would be too far away to be harmed, and they would keep each other too distracted to hear the confrontation.
Applejack stomped her hoof and threw down her hat. “Pinkie Pie, knock it off! Did you hear Mayor Mare? She said we’ll only have to do community service. It’s not bad. They’re’s nothing in all Equestria that is bad enough to do what I think you're doing. Now put that thing away and git over here before you hurt yourself or somepony else!” Applejack demanded.
“And why would I do that, Applejack?” Pinkie asked innocently. The other’s shivered at the lack of life in Pinkie’s voice.
“Well, because that thing is exceptionally dangerous Pinkie Pie, and you don’t know how to use it. I promise I’m not angry with any of you and I do not want to get you in trouble. I love you girls. Please just put it down and come here.” Twilight pleaded.
Starlight shook her head and whispered to the other mares. “I know that we are all worried about Pinkie at the moment, but the crossbow is not an issue. I used up all of the arrows while fighting the Sundew at Froggy Bottom Bogg.”
The group sighed in relief and were pleased to hear the good news. The only exception was Maud Pie; she studied her little sister with a morbid curiosity.
Pinkie joylessly giggled as she reached into her mane. “Oh, Starlight, you silly silly filly. This crossbow is old. It doesn’t use arrows, it uses bolts. I know this because that’s what Granny Pie taught me when she gifted me this when I first started traveling Equestria.”
Twilight’s entire body tensed as she watched the pink pony pull a bolt out of her mane and expertly load it into the crossbow. She tried to stay calm despite her rising panic. “Pinkie…You’re the one that put the crossbow in the time capsule? But, why?”
“I don’t know Twi-Twi. Sometimes I just don’t know, you know? I get these feelings. These urges. These whims. Like, one day I felt this whim to stay out in the fields a little longer than usual, then I saw it. The rainboom, the most spectacular rainbow I have ever seen. I felt a whim to toss up a rubber chicken and not give a flying feather where it landed. Do you know who picked it up? Cheese Sandwich, one of my bestest friends in the whole world. The night before we filled the time capsule, I felt a whim. I looked at the crossbow, and I knew. I didn’t know what I knew, but I knew. I always do.”
Trixie wrapped her hooves around Starlight and pulled her close. Everypony was thoroughly unsettled by the turn of events, and Pinkie showed no signs of wanting to stop.
Glints of deeper emotions shined briefly in Pinkie’s dull eyes, but she mainly appeared cold and distant. “I appreciate you girls for coming forward, but at the end of the day, I caused all of this. I wanted things to be okay so bad that I somehow made everything extremely not okay. I didn’t fix anything, I screwed up, and I keep screwing up. I spent so many years trying to understand why I just couldn’t fix this, but now I understand. This couldn’t be stopped; it couldn’t be changed.”
Pinkie pushed up her glasses. “I can see everything so clearly now, girls. I can see the threads. The strings that pull us and the strings that bind us. Us coming here today was inevitable. This was always the only path. My Granny gifted me this because she knew too that she knew. And the LDS, the Lunar Defense Society, gave her this crossbow because they too knew that they knew. This was the plan, can’t you tell! I can see it, I can hear it, I can feel it!”
A flash of light burst outside the stained-glass window, bathing Pinkie in a red shadow. The sound of thunder accompanied the flash, and the sound only multiplied as more explosions erupted outside. Twilight looked over at her students. They looked frightened by the sudden cacophony of deafening detonations. The alicorn didn’t have to instruct her friends on what to do, because Fluttershy, Spike, and Mayor Mare were already rushing over to comfort them. She watched them coerce the students into staying calm before turning her attention back to Pinkie.
The alicorn took on a protective stance as she stood in front of her remaining friends. “Pinkie! That’s enough! I don’t know how you're doing this, or why. But I need you to tell me what’s going on right now!”
Pinkie wasn’t threatened or unnerved by Twilight’s demand. She allowed another explosion to sound before shouting at the top of her lungs. “Today is the day, Twilight! It’s our day, the Day of Last Light! The day when all things become clear, no longer obscured by the darkness. Granny Pie once told me that we would all face our day. The day when our truth must be revealed. She asked me who I would be on that day. If I would fight or crumble like a cookie with too much flour in it.”
Trixie began to shake in Starlight hooves as she whisper-yelled. “I knew it! I knew it! The Lunar Defense Society? Sounds like a lunatic cult to me. Shadow ponies are here, and the shadow ponies are Pinkie! She’s been asleep this whole time, waiting for the Day of Last Light! Take me now, Pink one I’m ready! Ready to join you. I understand it now, it is only after we immerse ourselves in the dark that we know the immaculate power of the light.”
After listening to Trixie’s crazy ramblings following Pinkie’s crazy ramblings, Rainbow Dash was quite tired of listening to crazy ramblings. She tapped Maud’s shoulder, trying to get her stony attention. “Yo Maud, can you get your sister to knock it off. She’s really starting to freak me out here.”
Maud didn’t even blink as she stared at her sister. “It’s too late. There is nothing that I can do. It was already too late long before I even realized that I had lost her.”
Despite the low tone of Maud’s voice, Pinkie still acknowledged her statement, “Maud understands it better than anypony. Even though she despises it, she has accepted it. The fire is raining down from above!”
Rainbow groaned as she returned to Applejack’s side. “I can't wait for this week to end.” she mumbled as she rested a hoof on the farmer. The pegasus considered her next words carefully, before speaking with sincerity, “Hey Pinkie, remember how we talked about the importance of talking stuff out? I know you hate the bad stuff, but I’d rather have you speak your mind instead of you getting all pale and bummed out. If you do something dumb, I’m gonna be like super upset.”
Pinkie smiled after hearing Rainbow’s words. “I am speaking my mind, Dashie, and I’ve never been happier. My work is almost done. I’m simply following the plan that we’re destined to follow. I have found the truth, and I hope you will too. We must accept it!”
“I accept! I accept! I see the fires and I crave the light!” shouted Trixie. Starlight scrambled to keep her from running to Pinkie’s side.
Applejack ran a hoof over her mane, trying to ignore the sound of explosions and the rapidly changing colors from outside. “Pinkie, you know that’s a whole bunch of hooey. Ya gotta snap out of it. The party cannons are doin’ all of the work, I’m sure that most of the fireworks have been dealt with. Come on and step away from the window sugarcube.”
“Applejack is right darling, remember how I told you what two things should never be brought up in polite conversation. I’m not really sure where Nightmare Shadow Government conspiracy theories fit, but I’m certain that this whole affair is quite improper. Be a dear and come over, I really don’t want that window to burst open and cut you up.”
“No can-do girls. It’s almost time. I can sense it, it’s coming. It’s time for me to get The Big Finale.” Pinkie sounded out the last three words as she looked at Applejack.
Applejack stared at Pinkie as the gears in her head began to turn. This whole time, Pinkie had been talking utter nonsense, which wasn’t too out of character. But this nonsense was different, it wasn’t lighthearted or comical. Pinkie had a lot of wild ideas, but this type of thing wasn’t her usual brand of gibberish. Applejack didn’t understand what Pinkie was getting at until she heard those final words, and she wished that she had caught on sooner because there was little time to think of a different plan.
All of the farmer’s reflexes kicked in as she tackled Rainbow and Twilight to the ground. “Everycreature, get down! Here comes the big one!” Applejack screamed as she used her body to shield her friends.
All creatures complied with Applejack’s order except for Pinkie. The lone party pony recalled every crossbow lesson that she ever received. Propping the weapon against her shoulder, she drew in a breath and closed one eye. Calm washed over her as her Pinkie Sense and instincts took over. She had felt its presence looming over her, but now she could see it with her own eyes. The Big Finale deserved its name.
During any other occasion, the firework enthusiast in Pinkie would have studied every inch of this marvel. She couldn’t see the whole thing from where she was standing, only the top. The cone of the projectile had been painted with a purple and white swirl, creating a hypnotizing optical illusion. It spiraled as it rapidly approached the castle. If she had to guess, she would estimate that The Big Finale weighed a literal ton, which meant that it must have taken a lot of force to hurtle it.
When Pump Metal said that his boss had totally lost it, Pinkie didn’t think that he was this crazy. Bugs’ gang not only bombarded Ponyville, but specifically targeted the Castle of Friendship with one of the largest firecrackers in the world. It was an impressive revenge plot with catastrophic consequences, but it was doomed to fail. Bugs thought that he was toiling with Al Capony, but he was actually toiling with Pinkie Pie and her home. And nopony messed with her home.
The party pony mumbled under her breath as she prepared to pull the trigger, “I wish I may, I wish I might. Under the mercy of Celestia’s light. Guide my bolt in its flight.”
There was a click when Pinkie pulled the trigger. The bolt zipped away from her, and she prayed that her aim was still good after all these years. The stained-glass window shattered when the bolt pierced through it, scattering shards far and wide. The light from the outside was blinding due to the lack of a barrier. The bolt continued on its trajectory, entering the smoky air and finding its target. The apexes of each projectile touched with pinpoint accuracy, but neither were done with their path. The bolt penetrated the massive object, disrupting the chemical reactions within. It exited out of the other end of The Big Finale, covered in remnants of sulfur and copper.
Knowing that her job was finally done, Pinkie finally allowed herself to shed a tear. The crossbow clattered to the floor as The Big Finale ignited in a spectacular display. She turned to her friends and smiled a genuine smile. They didn’t have time to grab her before she was engulfed by a heavenly, and explosive, light.
There were many ponies in the room who believed that they could have done better. Maybe if they were faster or quicker to think. Maybe they should have protected their family better, were better at identifying when their friends were keeping secrets, or if they had just told the truth from the beginning. But at the end of day, when the smoke finally cleared from the room, somepony was severely hurt, and there was no time to ruminate on past actions.
Thanks to Pinkie’s quick thinking, The Big Finale did not land inside the Friendship Castle, but that did not stop it from exploding outside. The combination of the force of the explosion and the lack of a proper barrier after the stained glass shattered, threw everycreature backwards. Torrents of flame and soot blasted through the window, torching everything within a close radius. Pinkie, who stood closest to the window, bore the brunt of the impact. Her body was left limp and contorted several feet away from where she was previously standing. Smoke wafted off of her as she lay unmoving and unconscious.
Everypony rushed to Pinkie’s side, wanting to administer some sort of aid, but Rainbow was quick to take control.
“Everypony be careful! Something might be broken!” she shouted harshly.
She knew that this was not the time to panic. Pinkie needed her. She ran through the safety training that she underwent with the Wonderbolts.
“Pinkie? Pinkie, can you hear me? We’re going to get you help, okay.” She gently checked Pinkie’s head for any gashes or bleeding. She could feel a minor pump on the back of Pinkie’s head. She swallowed and looked up to see Fluttershy flying over.
Rainbow hovered her hoof over Pinkie’s muzzle. “I-I think she's breathing.”
Fluttershy nodded and placed her hoof to Pinkie’s neck. “And she has a pulse. The impact must've knocked her out. We’ll have to take her to the hospital. Aside from the burns and cuts, she might have a concussion.”
Applejack shook her head solemnly. “We ain’t bringin’ her into town, we don’t know who might be out there. Fluttershy, is there anything that you can do to tide her over until the coast is clear?”
“I could get her more comfortable and maybe bandage some of her wounds, but I’ll need somepony to help me.”
Twilight looked around at the small assembly of ponies before her. “Maud, I’m certain you want to stick with your sister. You and Fluttershy can take her to one of the guest rooms.”
Maud didn’t hesitate as she nodded. She looked to Fluttershy to know what to do next. As they got to work securing the body, Twilight formulated a plan.
“Starlight, Trixie, and Rarity, can you three take the students somewhere else? Mayor Mare is still watching them, but she might want to return to Town Hall. Tell Spike to grab fresh linens and the first-aid kit for Pinkie.”
Seeing that the unicorns were complying to her demand, Twilight turned to Applejack and Rainbow Dash. “Applejack, if you really think that town is still unsafe, we need to warn everypony to stay indoors until further notice.”
Applejack nodded in agreement. “Then I guess you’re thinkin’ the three of us will team up to do so? Sounds like a plan, Twi. I have a feelin’ that Bugs might still be out there. Rainbow, you ready to get goin’?”
Rainbow Dash didn’t answer, she stared intently at the window that previously housed the stained-glass. Her entire body was rigid except for the occasional twitch of the muscle. She glowered at the dubious cloud that floated outside.
Applejack gently tugged her tail. “Rainbow, you good? We ain’t gone send you out there if you’re fixin’ to do something crazy.”
“He could have killed her Applejack. I’m not gonna let them come here, screw around with my friends, and walk away.” Rainbow growled.
The farmer stood up and joined Rainbow in her observation. “Hey, I know you’re angry. Look at me. You think I’m not angry too? I’m mad at myself for lettin’ this happen, and I’m mad at him for taken it this far. But right now, we have to make sure that nopony else gets hurt. After that…I think we need to start Plan B.”
The walk through Ponyville was a slow and cautious one. Twilight and friends moved as a unit through the streets, fearing that separating could evoke further attack. Rainbow hovered a few feet above, while Mayor Mare walked between Twilight and Applejack. They decided that the first portion of their mission would be escorting the mayor back to Town Hall. Once the mayor was situated, Twilight casted an amplifying spell to make it easier to relay instructions. Ponyville was in surprisingly good shape, despite the prolonged aerial attack. The atmosphere was smokey, and ash coated various roofs, but the main indicator of any abnormal occurrence was the plethora of confetti that littered the streets and the strong stench of sulfur.
By the looks of it, nopony was severely hurt, just scared and confused. The trio did their best to provide comfort quickly while answering questions vaguely. Twilight tried her best to look authoritative and in-control when speaking with residents, but she knew that she was just as uninformed as the majority of the town. She had picked up scraps of what was happening while listening to her friends, and she could tell that Rainbow and Applejack were on edge. They constantly referenced a “bug” in hushed tones.
It wasn’t until they returned to the castle that Twilight saw more of what her friends were dealing with. She paused her movement when Applejack stood on the steps of the Friendship Castle and scowled at the clouds. Rainbow Dash hovered behind her and cracked her hooves.
“I know you’re up there Bugs! You just couldn’t stay away, could you? Your plan failed; we beat you! But I know that ain’t enough for you. And it definitely ain’t enough for me. Come down here, so we can settle this for good. No more plottin’. No more schemin’. No more bein’ clever.” Applejack scornfully shouted.
A pegasus stallion leisurely descended from above. He removed a cigar from his mouth and threw it to the ground. “Applejack, what do you have in mind?”
“I want to end this for real Bugs. I want to set us both free. I have a feelin’ that you ain’t satisfied yet. Al Capony never offended you. I offended you, so your problem lies with me. Not with my town, and not with my kin. You can’t live if you carry this hate around with you, and I can’t either. We’re goin’ to settle this, and I’m goin’ to steady you.”
“Settle this? What, you want us to fight or something?” he asked with a wry smile.
Applejack nodded grimmly. “Eyup. I know that I’ve told a lot of lies throughout my life, but I was being honest when I told you what would happen if you showed your face around her again. You done turned this mess into a blood feud.”
Bugs chuckled as he licked his lips. At least a dozen pegasi descended from above, landing behind their boss. “Alright, alright. I’m not opposed to the fight, but me vs. you just doesn't seem fair.”
Rainbow Dash was itching for revenge. She snarled as she landed by Applejack’s side, “How could that possibly not be fair!”
Bugs gestured behind him to the plethora of henchponies. “I had a whole gang of ponies relying on me. You hurt every last one of my…employees. I’m sure they would all appreciate the opportunity to scrap with you.”
If the prospect of fighting a mob of ponies frightened Applejack, she didn’t show it. Her resilience was unwavering. Rainbow felt much the same. The pegasus mirrored her friend’s countenance as she spoke, “Alright, fine! I’ll beat the hay out of you and your goons too!”
Bugs was amused by Rainbow bravado; he looked back at his associates to ensure that they heard what he was hearing. “I’m sure that the tree-kicker appreciates your gesture, but this dispute is between us and Al Capony.”
Rainbow scoffed as she stomped her hooves. “Are you a moron! You tried to blow up this whole town without even knowing the whole truth? Al Capony wasn’t one pony, they were five!”
“Oh, wow. I did not know that Al Capony was a team of five, but now I do.” Rainbow Dash thought that she knew smugness, but Bugs Marean put her to shame. He and his goons cackled as everypony realized what had just happened.
The mob boss gasped for air between laughs. “Alright Loyalty, you can die alongside your friend. But the other three are going to have to go down with you.”
This wasn’t good. Applejack wasn’t sure what to do now. She didn’t want her friends to suffer any more because of her decision. Rainbow might be willing to fight, but the others aren’t cut out for this type of thing. And even if they were, Pinkie was in no condition to move, and Fluttershy needed to remain by her side. Applejack bit her lip, uncertain of what she could do, which is why it was a good thing that Rarity decided to come out.
Everypony grew silent as Rarity strutted over to her friends and sighed. “Well darling, here’s number three. But I fear that we will not be dying today. We three have fought literal demons and gods. What are you? A little colt in an ugly little coat who got his feelings hurt by a group of teenage girls? Embarrassing really. Imagine going this far because your products were lacking!”
The amusement left Bugs Marean’s face as he ground his teeth. “That’s nice to know. But three still ain’t five girlie.”
“We have a fourth! She’s inside at the moment cleaning up some of the damage you caused, but she would be delighted to brawl with you too.” Rarity assured with confidence. Rainbow, Applejack, and Twilight looked at her in confusion. She covered her muzzle as she whispered, “Worry not dears. I’m talking about Maud. She might not be here, but I know she would jump at this opportunity in a heartbeat.”
“Okay, you’ve got your fourth. But I know you big mares know how to count, where is the fifth? And don’t try to tell me that Princess Twily was in on the business. I read her autobiography, and I know she was in Canterlot.”
“She is right here!” shouted Trixie as she appeared in a flash. She wore her cape and hat as she held up a hoof for dramatic flair. Trixie glared at Bugs as she took her place on Al Capony’s side. “You’ve terrorized me for long enough Bugs. I’ve been waiting for the day to show you what I am capable of. I’m the fifth Al Capony!”
Bugs Marean smirked as he looked at the ensemble of ponies before him. He wasn’t expecting this, but he was satisfied with the new arrangement. “Okay now you got your five. And since I’m so nice, I’m going to pick four of my best to fight too. A classic five on five.”
He ran through all of the ponies on his roster. Their names slipped off his tongue with ease, “I’m gonna need Pack Heat, Chop Squad, Badaboom and Badabing!”
Twilight assumed that the names correlated with each of the ponies that stepped forward. Each of Bugs’ selections removed their gang paraphernalia as they stood beside him. Pack Heat was a bright red and orange pegasus stallion, he was lean and lengthy. Chopper Squad was a massive earthpony that made Big Mac look like Applebloom. Badaboom and Badabing were pegasi as well. Twilight assumed that they were twins since their pink and purple color schemes matched each other. Unlike Pack Heat, the two pegasi were tiny. The gangsters snickered and taunted at Twilight’s friends.
“Now that I have my squad, I want to discuss the terms of our…’agreement.’”
Applejack tipped her hat up. “Alrighty then. My terms are simple. If you lose, you leave and never ruminate about this again. No more anger, no more bitterness, and no more attacks.”
He studied each of his fighters with a devilish smile. “Applejack, if you lose. You come and work for me for as long as it takes to pay back every bit that you stole. You belong to me till the day you keel over.”
“I’m fine with that Bugs.” Applejack said calmly. She offered a hoof to her enemy, and Bugs took it eagerly.
The mob boss spun around as he studied his audience. “I’ll give you a bit of time before you die. So, go ahead and say your goodbyes. We’ll reconvene in thirty.”
Applejack solemnly nodded as she led her band back into the Friendship Castle. Twilight felt numb as she trailed behind them. Did she really just let that happen? Things kept happening, and she didn’t have the time to grapple with any of it. Pinkie was injured and now her friends were going to fight gangsters. Her friends were criminals, and they were keeping secrets from her. Twilight didn’t often feel helpless, but she certainly did now.
Rarity ran to get Maud as Applejack, Rainbow and Trixie quietly spoke to each other. Rainbow Dash was clearly fired up, she stretched out her limbs as she hovered above her fellow fighters. They paid Twilight little mind as she came closer. Applejack rubbed her face before turning to Trixie. “Trixie, I’m not really sure why you're so keen to fight alongside us, but…I-I shoulda said this to you a long time ago. It’s not just because of what you’re doing here for us today, but I’m sorry.”
Applejack removed her hat and looked at Trixie with complete sincerity. “When I first saw you…I said and did some things that I should not have. You were just doin’ your passion, and I mocked you. My ma and pa raised me better than that, and I should have apologized sooner.”
Rainbow Dash interrupted her fighting practice to speak to the unicorn as well, “Yeah Trix, it’s my bad too. I kinda tend to run my mouth also. I shouldn’t have interrupted you. You’re actually pretty cool. For all it’s worth, I’m sorry too.”
Trixie looked at them in surprise before putting on a haughty disposition. She blew a raspberry and stuck up her nose. “The Great and Powerful Trixie does not require your pity! I’m not doing this because I see any of you as ‘friends.’ I am here because I also had terrible experiences with Bugs in my youth. And…I was a bit of a fan of Al Capony’s work. Knowing that Al was all of you, greatly disturbs me. I will fight alongside you, so I no longer have to feel indebted to any of you.”
Applejack chuckled as she nudged Rainbow. “Trust me Trixie, I get what you’re feelin’. Nonetheless, I appreciate you. We owe you one. Consider yourself part of the gang if you like.”
The magician wanted to make a witty and petulant comeback, but Maud and Rarity arrived in a haste. Applejack greeted her cousin with a fond smile, while Maud made a brief statement.
“I’m here. Let’s fight.”
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
Good Ponies Got Something To Lose
A magnificent sunset stretched across the sky over Ponyville General Hospital as Trixie sat alone in the garden. She admired the sublime combination of pinks, reds, and oranges that painted the sky as she felt peace for the first time in a long while. She was still sore and battered, but her injuries had been treated and bandaged efficiently. It would take time to heal, but she was confident that she would be back to normal in a few months. She continued watching the sky as Starlight Glimmer returned from the cafeteria.
The purple unicorn held two sandwiches in her aura, offering one to Trixie. “I was able to snag us the last two PB&J’s,” she gloated mischievously.
Trixie smiled as she accepted her sandwich. “Thank you, Starlight.” She jostled her jaw with a hoof and used her tongue to push on a wiggly tooth. “I will make sure to enjoy this sandwich even if I end up losing another tooth.”
Starlight giggled as Trixie took greedy bites of the sandwich. Today had been an excessively long day, and it felt good to finally laugh. She enjoyed her own meal as they silently watched the sunset together. It took a couple minutes for Trixie to find the courage to break the silence. She lowered her sandwich and mumbled.
“Hey, Starlight?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry.”
Starlight Glimmer blinked a few times before looking at Trixie. The blue unicorn continued looking at the setting sun, but her words were heartfelt.
“I’m sorry about what I said. You know, about you being insurance and all. It wasn’t right.”
Starlight rubbed the back of her neck. “I-I didn’t mind. I get it and you were probably right.”
“Maybe I was or maybe I wasn’t. But you actually were right. They are…goodish ponies. They could have solved everything with a royal hoof wave, but they didn’t. They took the burden on to themselves. And even if they may not receive legal justice, the universe has punished them greatly.”
Starlight snorted as she relaxed her shoulders. It was true that, aside from Maud, Trixie had walked away in relatively good shape. Rarity was probably already brainstorming clever ways to cover up her injuries, while Rainbow would probably have to take a leave of absence from the Wonderbolts for a few weeks.
“I’m not sure if that’s what we should be taking away from this situation Trixie.” Starlight scolded playfully.
“Yes, perhaps. I now see that there really might not be an answer to my question, not a perfect or satisfying one at least. I do think that some acts are irredeemable. But, just because everypony can’t be forgiven doesn’t mean that nopony should. I hate that everypony can’t have the privilege of having it, but the best we can do is try and show a little understanding to those around us. We can make this world a little more just, one little act at a time.”
Starlight raised an eyebrow. “And you deduced that…when you saw Maud snap Bugs’ hooves in half?”
“No. I realized it when I remembered you. Out of all of the ponies that could have been forgiven and reformed, I am happy that you are one of them. You too are a goodish pony Starlight Glimmer.” Trixie stated serenely.
Trixie flinched as Starlight wrapped her in a crushing hug. The magician whined but accepted her fate, leaning into the hug and enjoying the end of this terrible day.
“I guess we should start calling you the Great and Powerful Philosophizer, Trixie. Maybe you could pick up a job at the School of Friendship.”
Trixie grumbled at the thought. “Merciful Luna, it seems that Princess PSA and her squadron of hoodlums have rubbed off on me. That or the Bada twins really did a number on my head.”
“Yeah, well they did give you that concussion after all.” Starlight mumbled, recalling the diagnosis that Dr. Stable gave her friend earlier that day.
The throbbing in Trixie’s head tripled as she tried to focus on one of the three Starlights floating around in front of her. “Wait... what?”
“A-and then…Maud came in and she was all, ‘This. Ends. Now.’ and she like obliterated his hooves. It…was disgusting, but awesome!” Rainbow gushed, flailing her hooves around to imitate Bugs’ egregious injury.
Pinkie’s mouth hung open as she vacantly stared at the blue blob lying next to her. She had no idea what was going on, but she was extraordinarily happy. She was surrounded by a bunch of beautifully colored blobs, and they were talking to her. It was so exciting, and it helped her feel even more extraordinarily happy. It took a lot of effort to actually get her mouth to move, but she gave it her best try.
Pinkie’s eyes grew impossibly large as she asked the blue blob a life-changing question. “B-blue Blobie? Are we…friends?”
Rainbow Dash was nearly reduced to tears as she heard her friend's words. Why would Pinkie even question their friendship? “Ooof courssse we’re friend’s Pinkie! Best friends!” she cried, wrapping her hooves around her heavily bandaged friend. It was hard to hug somepony when you’re both laying in a hospital bed, but Rainbow wasn’t going to give up.
Applejack groaned as she tried to gently tug Rainbow off of Pinkie. “Will you knock it off Dash! You’re gonna hurt her worse. Between all the cider you’ve been drinking and the amount of drugs they’ve pumped into her, this is a Discord-level threat!”
Rarity sighed as she peered into her make-up mirror. Perhaps it was time for visors and eyepatches to make a comeback. “Are you really surprised? It’s almost as if cider is banned from this hospital for a reason, darling. Leave them be and let them have their fun. Everypony has been so dreadfully down these last few days.”
Applejack massaged her temple and took a sip from her mug. It seemed that she was the last sensible pony in the room. It was hard hanging around with a bunch of lightweights. She looked over at Maud sitting in a chair at the other side of the bed. The rock farmer kept a firm grip on one of her little sister’s hooves despite being in a deep sleep. Applejack smiled fondly at them.
“See looky there Pinkie, you done went and frightened your sister restless. She probably hasn’t gotten a wink of sleep all week.”
Pinkie glanced at the familiar gray blob for a second before returning to the blue. She had made the most incredible discovery while holding her new best friend, Blue Blobie. She smiled crookedly. “R-rainbooooow,” she rejoiced feebly as she buried her face in the strangely soft rainbow.
The energy outside of Ponyville General was significantly different for Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy as they gave their accounts of this week’s mishaps. It was always a miserable experience to relay her failures to the emissaries from Canterlot, but Twilight was happy to see some familiar faces. She recognized Noble Stratagem, whom Twilight first met after the ‘Want it, Need it Incident’. She was also happy to see Mr. Marvelous Machination, whom she spoke to after the ‘Mirror Pool Incident’. And though she was relatively new, Twilight still remembered Sharp Practice, the pegasus who reported on the ‘Weather Factory Incident’.
Twilight watched Fluttershy say her goodbyes to Mr. Machination and enter the hospital. It appeared that her questioning had gone by quicker than Twilight hoped. The alicorn swallowed as she did what she thought was right.
“Um…Mrs. Sharp.” Practice Sharp paused her writing to look at the princess. “I-I don’t know the full story or the full truth, but my friends…my friends might have been involved in some stuff. And I think you might want to talk to them about it. You know t-that I love them more than anything, I-I'm just...concerned.”
Practice studied Twilight with a quizzical look before waving a dismissive hoof. “Eh, it’s okay Princess Twilight. We have all the information that we need, why don’t you return to them. I’m sure they’re wondering where you are.”
Despite feeling positively wretched, Twilight persisted. “B-but, a lot happened here today. You should really look into this.”
A comforting hoof was placed on Twilight’s shoulder. “Princess, I assure you it’s fine. We are aware of the situation, and we are looking into it. Just enjoy some time with your friends. You’re all heroes after all!”
“W-we are?” Twilight questioned with uncertainty.
“Of course! Your investigation uncovered the leader of the Northside Gang! Bugs Marean and his lackeys will no longer terrorize the streets of Chicacolt. You should be proud, great work!”
“I…I didn’t do that. None of us did…except maybe Trixie? Trixie and Starlight did the investigating.” Twilight weakly replied.
Practice hummed and jotted something down on her notepad. “Trixie you say? Lulamoon, I’m guessing. Nice to see that another one of your friends shows promise. We’ll keep her in mind.”
Practice winked at Twilight and slipped her notes into her saddle bags. Before she joined her coworkers, she said her goodbyes. “Princess Twilight, it’s been a pleasure as always. May Celestia and Luna’s light shine down on you and your friends with favor.” She bowed and departed, leaving a very sick Twilight Sparkle to reassess her entire life.
Once Practice caught up to Noble, she noted the bag that he held in his hoof. “Did you have to confiscate something?”
Noble gave a subtle nod, he explained with a quiet baritone voice, “There were some questionable items in the Old Ponyville Time Capsule that need to be terminated. It appears that Captain left an inflammatory message in a jar, and Commander bequeathed a piece of the Society’s property to her granddaughter.”
Practice scoffed at the brazen disregard for protocol. She tried to stay quiet, “Why would they do something like that? It’s extraordinarily dangerous to leave that stuff sitting around.”
Mr. Machination smiled as he rubbed his chin. “Those two were notorious for breaking the rules, but you can’t deny that they were the greatest in their field. We owe every moment of our peace and prosperity to them. Anyways, we should focus on what we’re going to do about this current mess.”
The practical expertise of Noble Stratagem shined through as he developed an eloquent solution. “It’s simple. Word on the street is that our Princess of Friendship Twilight Sparkle oversaw an investigation of a tragic occurrence in Ponyville’s past. Her protege, Starlight Glimmer, and her friend, Trixie Lulamoon, successfully located the head of a criminal organization. In retaliation, Bugs Marean attacked the town but was foiled by the heroic deeds of the Element Bearers. Another testament to Twilight’s growing legacy.”
“Welcome back sugarcube! Everything go okay with Mr. Mach- Woah there Twi! Sweet Celestia slow down!”
Twilight did not slow down as she drained her mug of all its contents. The taste was bitter, but she needed it on days like these. Applejack studied her troubled expression with worry.
“You okay there Twilight? I’ve never seen you take down a drink like that.”
Twilight didn’t share in Applejack’s concern as she checked to see if Rainbow Dash had anything left in her cup. “I’m great Applejack. Just trying not to think about how my entire life is a heavily orchestrated plot to battle the forces of evil.”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Twilight, darling, please. I don’t need any more of this conspiracy talk. None of it is real. Trixie’s just being a professional showmare.”
“Really? You really think so? Pinkie said all that stuff too.” Twilight argued. The pink pony seemed to be more lucid than before, but she still looked fatigued. Twilight paused to appreciate the fact that Pinkie was awake again, before grilling her for information, “Pinkie do you think Trixie was right? Is the Lunar Defense Society real?
Rainbow snored softly as Pinkie held her in her hooves. “Of course it's real Purple Blobie. Granny and Captain Firefly were a part of it.”
Everpony looked at each other with uncertainty, until Pinkie clarified. “The LDS was an astro-nom-nom-nomy club. Granny Pie loved coming up with stories about twinkly stars!”
Applejack sighed and tipped up her hat. “See Twi, ain’t nothin’ to worry about.”
“B-but, what about all the other stuff Pinkie? The Day of Light, the Lunatics, the Celestriots?”
Pinkie giggled and spoke in a mischievous whisper-yell, “Are you talking about all those silly things that I said Purplely. Don’t tell Twi-Twi but…I was being a Sneakie Pie! Everypony was too distracted by the funny words to go outside. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”
Rarity soothingly rubbed Twilight’s back in an attempt to calm her. “It’s okay, darling. I know it's hard to come to terms with, but it was a simple bit of trickery. When Pinkie goes full chess master, it is truly unnerving.”
“Okay,” Twilight mumbled. She wanted to feel relieved, but something still felt wrong. She found a seat and relaxed in it, trying to find something to distract her. She rolled her head back and stared at the white ceiling. “So, did anypony gain any type of valuable lesson from this whole disaster.”
Fluttershy saw this as a good opportunity to brighten Twilight’s mood. “Oh, um…I learned that kindness and forgiveness can be beneficial to everypony.”
Twilight mentally ran through everything that she witnessed throughout the last few days. “How did you get that?”
“Oh…um…from when we helped Pump Metal. He is a very nice stallion who…Oh! Twilight if we do build that underwater lab, you should… um talk to him. He um…enjoys marine life. H-he was a mob pony who helped us out.” Fluttershy could tell that Twilight wanted to hear more, but she was hesitant to elaborate.
Applejack picked up on Fluttershy’s reluctance and decided to just tell the truth. “We foalnapped him Twi. Straight out the alleyway. We thought it was the only way. We were gonna interrogate him mob style, but Shy showed that a little compassion goes a long way.”
There had to be some more cider in this room. Twilight looked around in hopes of finding anything that could numb her brain enough to understand what they were confessing. She rubbed her hooves together. “You foalnapped somepony! When did that happen?”
“One or two days ago I reckon.” Applejack scratched her head, “that’s when we came up with the party cannon plan and the fight plan.”
“You planned that out in advance! I thought the fight was a spur of the moment thing.” Twilight shouted, springing out of her seat. Rainbow groggily lifted her aching head due to the commotion.
The farmer’s face grew red. “Well, yeah. I didn’t think it was that bad of an idea. Fighting can be surprisingly therapeutic. Heck, when I fought Pinkie Pie, she knocked some sense into me.”
Despite still being stupefied, Pinkie sat up in attention at the mention of her name. She studied the blobs before her. “Who Pinkie fight?”
“Me sugarcube.” Applejack pointed to herself, “Remember I Pinkie Promised Firefly that I’d help you with that bake sale, but I didn’t show up, so you came over, and we got to arguing.”
The alicorn was flabbergasted. She looked at Applejack and then at Pinkie. “So, it was just an argument then? Not an all-out brawl.”
“Oh no…it was a total beatdown. We were at it for like…eight hours. I’m not proud of it, but I had pushed Pinkie. Things escalated and she punched me square in the face. Everything went red after that.” Applejack admitted gravely.
The recently awoken Rainbow Dash was intrigued by the story. “Did she kick your flank AJ?” she asked with a poorly contained giggle.
“Well, I wouldn’t say that…she kinda realized it was wrong pretty early, but I kept pushing at her to keep goin’. I think she just wanted to make me happy, so she knocked me around and wrestled for a bit. I-I had a lot of anger in me. Pinkie helped keep me steady. She was a good friend even when I wasn't a good friend to her. I thought Bugs might need the same thing, but I guess he really just wanted to kill me.” Applejack explained with a shrug.
Rarity cooed as she looked fondly at her friends. “What a beautiful story. That Firefly was something else, she believed in all of us. I owe her so much.”
Rainbow Dash quietly cursed as she checked her cider mug and found it empty but decided not to ruin her own good mood. She looked at Rarity as memories of a pink and blue pegasus popped back into her head. “Oh yeah. What was your favor to her anyway, Rarity?”
“I’m not sure if I could call it a favor. She told me to purchase a property to start my own business, but I told her I still didn’t have enough money. So, she loaned me the difference. I was planning to pay her back…but then she passed. Looking back, I don't think she expected me to pay at all.” Rarity shut her make-up mirror as a solemn silence overtook the room.
It didn’t take Rainbow Dash long to break it, “Aw, what the hay! That old hag made me get a dumb job while everypony else got off easy. Baking? Fighting your friends? Looking after chickens? A crap ton of bits!”
“Woah now RD! Talk like that is why she probably gave you that job.” Applejack chuckled and leaned back as she thought about it, “You know, she kind of made it so that we all had to stick around here in Ponyville.”
Fluttershy brushed her mane out of her face with a soft smile. “She really did, didn’t she. If I didn’t know any better, I’d um think that she wanted us to stay friends” The thought was supposed to end on a positive note, but Fluttershy found it hard to finish, “m-maybe she…knew?”
The beeping of machines was the only sound in the otherwise silent room. Seven mares sat in the room, but none of them were willing to look at each other. Varied thoughts swarmed in their minds as they tried to remember key moments in their lives. It suddenly became very suffocating in the room.
Applejack groaned as her already aching head was starting to ache more. An old song played in the back of her mind as she hummed the lyrics: Just because you’re paranoid. Don’t mean they’re not after you. Remembering that music she used to like proved to be more rewarding than whatever mumbo jumbo Twilight and them were on. She decided that if the Old Ponyville Time Capsule was still unearthed, she might as well see if she could find her old album among the belongings. And the only thing that could make the experience of asking Twilight permission more pleasant was a nice cup of cider. She looked at the distraught faces of her friends and decided that that was enough for today.
“Ah buck it! I don’t know about ya’ll but I ain’t doin’ that. I’m tired and I'm hurtin’. I don’t got time for conspiracizing. Y'all want cider? I got more right here. Twi, come here and fill up these cups for everypony.”
Author's Note
And wow, I think I might have just completed my first story.
Most importantly, I just want to give a special thanks everybody who liked, favorited, and commented on this story. Y'all probably won't understand just how much that meant to me, but know that I whenever I got a new notification, I always got this big goofy smile on face
So yeah, thanks for reading folks. Have a great day👋
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
Twilight Sparkle smiled softly as she reorganized her collection of ordinances and proposals with her magic. The task, in and of itself, was a naturally pleasurable process for the orderly pony as she took cursory glances at each of the papers in her aura. The rearranging was only made better by the presence of the six mares and one little dragon that surrounded her.
The throne room was often a hub of activity for the friends. A center of exuberant discussion and banter in an otherwise pristine and vacuous castle. Twilight took a moment to overlook her most pressing document, a construction plan commissioned by Queen Novo herself, before neatly placing her stack of work onto the cutie map. She leaned back in her throne and observed the subtle chaos enfolding in front of her.
Rainbow Dash’s raspy voice echoed throughout the room as her excitement grew, “It’s gonna be so awesome! There’s gonna be a ton of ponies there, just to watch me perform!” Rainbow accentuated her point with a swift midair barrel roll. Before gliding down into her throne.
“And by a ton of ponies there to watch ‘you’, you mean a ton of ponies there to watch the Wonderbolts, right RD?” Applejack crossed her front hooves as she quirked an eyebrow at the pegasus.
Rainbow waved a dismissive hoof at the cowpony as she relaxed in her seat. “Yeah, yeah. Same thing. Either way, it and I will be totally awesome.”
Applejack’s expression softened as she pushed up her stetson. “Well either way, I’m happy for you. It’s a great opportunity and all.” Applejack turned to Fluttershy. “And make sure to take plenty of pictures for us, Shy. I wish we could all watch her ourselves.”
Fluttershy nodded as she took a sip of her tea. “Of course Applejack, but please don’t feel bad. I hope you all enjoy your time off.”
“Oh, you know we will darling. I feel like we’ve all been so terribly busy. After weeks of dealing with our usual work and our teaching jobs, I look forward to spending some quality time with my family.” Rarity flipped her mane to the side as she mixed her tea. “Not to say that I don’t enjoy my work. It's quite the opposite really. But it’s nice to have a little time to fulfill my other obligations, even if it means enduring my father’s prolific knowledge of hoofball trivia.”
Giggles overtook the room as Twilight rubbed the back of her head. She looked on with a sheepish grin. “Once again, I really do appreciate you girls for helping this dream come true. You all deserve some time to yourselves.” Her smile was genuine, if not a little hesitant.
It wouldn't be the first time that she would be away from her friends, it wouldn’t even be the longest. But that still didn’t change the general anxiety that came with parting from those you care for, especially if that camaraderie has proven to be a capable defense against a number of national threats and world-destroying foes. But it was only a few days, what’s the worst that could happen?
In a town like Ponyville, “just about anything,” was a reasonable answer, and Twilight was well aware of it. She had developed hundreds of contingency plans to combat the many things that could go wrong, but this came with the misconception that Ponyville would be faced with logical or reasonable threats. More times than not, strange occurrences that challenged Twilight’s fundamental understanding of reality popped up daily, and it is experiences like those that are why the young alicorn princess is constantly running out of antacids.
Twilight’s eye twitched slightly as she looked at each of her wonderful friends. “Well girls, this time apart will be great!” She looked at the reassuring smile of Applejack. “Applejack, I hope you enjoy your time in Appleloosa. And give Braeburn my regards.”
Rainbow looked at her with an eager smile. “And Dash, fly high and fly fast.” Rainbow saluted in response, eliciting a giggle from the princess.
Fluttershy watched with a comforting expression, letting out a little “oh” when Twilight drew attention to her. “Fluttershy, I just know the foals will love all the critters you show them. And when you stop by Rainbow’s show, please do take pictures and cheer extra loud for all of us.” Fluttershy nodded meekly.
Twilight locked eyes with Rarity’s astute gaze. “Rarity, though hoofball isn’t exactly your forte. I do hope that you enjoy your time in Vanhoover.”
Twilight looked at Pinkie’s throne, which seemed desolate without Ponyville’s Premiere Party Pony. Luckily, the Great and Powerful Trixie had taken the Element of Laughter’s throne and was lazily lounging across it. Twilight was confident that Pinkie wouldn’t mind the intrusion, so she made an effort to not let her eyes linger on the usurper. Starlight Glimmer flashed her an apologetic smile and picked up where she assumed that Twilight had left off.
“And I just know that Pinkie is enjoying her baker’s retreat in Canterlot, she practically tore the front doors off of the castle when she first received her invitation.” A sense of levity returned to the group as Starlight let out a strained chuckle.” She just about scared me to death. I thought that Ponyville was under attack… again.”
That last part was the wrong thing to say. Starlight could practically feel the rising nervousness emanating from the purple alicorn, she coughed and carried on, “And Twilight, Trixie, and I. Oh, and Spike. Have a lot of work ahead of us, right girls?” She flashed her best smile at Twilight and was relieved to see her determined expression return.
Twilight let out a sigh before gesturing to the stack of paperwork before her. "We do indeed Starlight. I have some assignments I need to finish grading and we have to look after the students who are staying over the break.”
She used her magic to separate and unfold the blueprint of the Friendship School’s newest addition. “And, hopefully, this will be done in time. I’ll have to make sure that everything goes smoothly for the construction team.”
It was at this moment that Trixie decided to break her long and uncharacteristic silence, “And what exactly is being built again, an underwater sports center?” Trixie rolled her forehoof to punctuate her words. Twilight could feel a headache brewing.
Starlight interjected quickly, “Remember, we talked about this Trixie. It’s an underwater laboratory for experiments and stuff.” Silence overtook the room as everypony avoided eye contact with each other. Rarity and Fluttershy took long sips of their tea. Rainbow Dash closely observed the shine and gleam of her right hoof. Applejack found a sudden fascination with her hat’s seam work. Spike had already made his leave the very second that Trixie opened her mouth, under the guise of getting more tea.
Nonetheless, Trixie persisted, “So help The Great and Powerful Trixie understand this…you intend to build an additional lab… that is also underwater?” The question was a reasonable one, which was what made it so difficult for Twilight to hear for the fiftieth time since receiving Queen Novo’s generous donation.
Starlight responded before Twilight could, putting on her most official-sounding voice, “It… is a way of making sure facilities are more accessible for… current and future students.” Starlight smiled at Twilight, partly in hopes of brightening her friend’s mood, but also because she was happy that she remembered the same explanation that Twilight had told her earlier this week when she had asked the exact same question.
Trixie didn’t seem too impressed. Everything about her facial features indicated that she was still very much confused. Twilight sighed as she rubbed her forehead and spoke halfheartedly, “It’s the thought that counts Trixie.”
A chortle echoed throughout the room as Rainbow held her hoof to the muzzle. “Yeah, it's a pretty ‘unique’ donation, but what were we supposed to do? Tell the Queen that we don’t want it. Twilight’s got a big ole brain in that noggin of hers, she’ll probably come up with like a billion crazy egghead experiments to do underwater or something in no time.”
Rainbow eyed Twilight and grinned boldly. “And Twilight, don’t get freaked out about some monster or eldritch abomination getting loose and going crazy. You’re like mega-powerful, and I can get back to Ponyville in no time and beat them back to Tartarus with you.” She looked around at all her friends. “And they can get here too, not as quick as me, but they can. Anyways, you also have Starlight, and she can like blow stuff up and time travel and mind control and stuff.”
Trixie scoffed indignantly, sitting up slightly to give Rainbow a stink eye, “The Great and Powerful Trixie will also be here. Do you think that I am not mega-powerful and capable of mind controlling and blowing up an eldritch abomination!”
Rainbow Dash blew a raspberry. “I guess, but you and Starlight are different with magic. You do tricks and stuff while Starlight does sorcerer stuff. You use your magic to put on a show, while Starlight uses it for like everything.”
It was Starlight’s turn to scoff indignantly, and she did so with gusto. “I do not use my magic ‘for like everything.’” She attempted her best Rainbow impression as she crossed her hooves defensively.
“Uh, you totally do!” Rainbow looked around for some sort of confirmation from the others. Finding none, she pressed on, “Just yesterday I woke up from a sweet nap up in the clouds to see Starlight and Trixie trotting through the park. Then Starlight’s all like, ‘Oh, Gee willikers I’m thirsty.’ So, what does she do? She casts a cloud walking spell on herself and levitates herself up into the clouds. Cast one spell to transform one cloud into a cup made out of ice, then cast another spell to transform another cloud into water.”
Starlight looked around in shock. The others’ unwillingness to look at her, informed her that they believed that Rainbow’s accusation had some merit. “What, I was thirsty. And I have never said gee willikers, nopony says gee willikers.” The jury wasn’t moved by Starlight’s protests, although Twilight was feeling a little proud of her friend’s expanding magical prowess.
Rainbow smiled triumphantly as she carried on, “It doesn’t matter what you do or don’t say. What matters is what you could have done instead. There are plenty of shops that could give you some water, heck there was a pond not too far that you could drink out of.”
Rarity gagged at the notion proposed by Rainbow Dash. “Well, I say. Why am I not surprised that Rainbow drinks pond water.” Applejack chuckled to herself, enjoying the lighter turn that the conversation had taken.
Rainbow emitted another raspberry at Rarity’s snide comment. “Whatever, miss prissy pants. The point still stands. Starlight uses magic for every little thing.” She looked at Twilight with a smug expression. “Twilight if you really wanted to. You could probably just have Starlight use her magic to build the underwater lab herself. No need for a whole construction team or whatever.”
“Now Dash, ain’t no need to pester Starlight about her magical knowhow, you just about fly everywhere you go.” Applejack boasted a smug grin comparable to Rainbow’s as she gestured her hoof to the lounging pegasus.
Twilight heard a subdued munching from the side of her seat. She looked over to see that Spike had since returned and was engrossed with the conversation. He snacked on the “‘I’m gonna super-duper miss you all soooo much’” cookie platter that Pinkie had given them before departing.
“She’s right you know darling. When I first met you, I almost thought that you had never touched grass in your entire life.” A rare but formidable team-up was forming as Rarity fed off of Applejack’s energy. The smugness in the room was hitting a critical level. Fluttershy’s forehooves covered her face stifling what the most attuned ears could interpret as a giggle.
Applejack leaned back in her throne with an easy smile. “You know Rare, I just about thought the same.” Her green eyes fell upon Twilight, who listened with rapt attention. “I can’t even describe the weird little prance that Dash did whenever she had to walk around with us ground ponies.”
Rainbow shot up into the air with a defiant snort, her face grew red as she sputtered out a rebuttal, “Hey! How was I supposed to act? Walking on grass is like walking on a thousand tiny knives. I mean, I lived in Cloudsdale and flying was a must. Starlight didn’t live in like, magic city, where everyone had to do magic to go to the corner store.”
Rainbow scanned the room for her easiest target. She knew that the best way out of this takedown was by deflecting and breaking the bonds that had been forged. She zeroed in on Rarity’s satisfied face. “And if we want to talk about weird stuff that happened when we first met, let's talk about the early stages of Rarity’s refined Canterlotian accent.” Rainbow mockingly stuck up her nose before speaking in a higher pitch, “‘Oh dahling, your mane is just divine, dahling. What positively smashing colors you have here, dahling. I was born and raised in Ponyville but inexplicably have this accent… dahling.”
Rarity gasped, sucking air in as her composure seeped out. Applejack howled with laughter as tears formed in her eyes, Fluttershy hid as much of herself behind her mane as possible. “Now Dash. You know that you’re wrong for that one. We all have to start somewhere, and Rarity took a bit to master her fancy shmancy tongue. Was I confused by it at the time? Yes. But I can’t fault her for that. Anyways, those braces that she was rockin’ at the time definitely made it harder to develop.”
Rainbow clapped her hooves together with elevated excitement. “Sweet Celestia I almost forgot! Hah! It was more like, ‘Shdarling, your mane ish jush divine, shdarlin-’ WOAH!” Rainbow narrowly dodged an impressive tackle from Rarity by flying out of her reach. The Element of Generosity stood on Rainbow’s crystalline throne with one of her angriest faces to date.
The distinguished seamstress used the sudden silence to compose herself. She brushed her mane back into its iconic curls and let out a low sigh. She nefariously looked at Starlight as her voice came out in a low growl, “Starlight, be a dear and use one of your transforming spells to turn a cloud into an ice club so that I can teach Rainbow an important… friendship lesson about keeping her mouth shut.”
Starlight actually considered Rarity’s request before giving in to the obvious peer pressure that Twilight was beaming her way. Applejack cleared her throat, “Now, now no need to go on a warpath, Rares. We’re just havin’ a little fun. Same thing goes for you Starlight and RD. I wish that Pinkie was here, she’s usually pretty good at makin’ jokes without makin’ anypony the butt of it.”
Rainbow sunk down a little lower, but still not low enough to be within Rarity’s reach. “Hey, my bad Rarity. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything.”
Rarity mulled it over before taking a more relaxed posture. “It is in the past, darling. Applejack was right, we all need to start somewhere. I do recall a certain pegasus with quite the unique self-administered manecut.” She giggled as Rainbow scratched her head and blushed.
“Yeah, whatever it seemed like a good look at the time.” The friends laughed as the last bit of tension in the room dissolved. Everything seemed to be dying down, as a comfortable silence developed throughout the group. But Twilight’s mind was beginning to buzz with new questions. She sensed an opportunity to learn something new.
“You all were friends before I came to Ponyville. I knew that, but I never really asked for more details, did I?” She wasn’t sure if her words were meant to be a statement or a question, but she was intrigued by the miniature anecdotes that she had heard.
Applejack seemed to pick up on Twilight’s curiosity as she hopped out her throne and readjusted her stetson. “I’m sure any of us would be happy to tell you more sugarcube, but we gotta get goin’. The four of us are gonna be heading out to the train station in a few.” She looked to Rarity who nodded in agreement. The bearers made their way to Twilight, and each gave her a hug before making their way out of the castle. She watched them depart as reds and pinks overtook the evening sky. She felt confident in the idea that this break would be a relatively calm one.
The next day, Twilight listened to the birds chirping outside of her office window as she read through her students’ assignments. She had instructed her students to write a short essay on the merits of teamwork before the break let out and had received a compilation of writing covering the same core themes in various degrees of quality. Ocellus’s writing, per usual, was a positive stand-out. The alicorn allowed her work to envelop her as the construction team hammered away outside, a noise that might be distracting to any pony that was incapable of casting a selective noise canceling spell. The construction workers had broken the ground for the project earlier this morning and had continued at a steady pace since. They worked on their project while Twilight completed hers, but no selective noise canceling spell could shield against the miniature earthquake that shook the entire friendship castle in the afternoon.
Twilight’s wings furled as she braced herself. The songs of the birds were replaced with shrill screeching as they fled from the premise. The shaking didn't last long enough for her to take cover. She recanted her silencing spell and heard the shouts of various construction workers along with the unmistakable sound of hooves running outside. Before she had the chance to teleport out to see the commotion, Starlight teleported into her office.
Twilight was momentarily blinded by the sudden flash of teal sparks. She rapidly blinked in an attempt to dispel her disorientation. Luckily, Starlight didn’t seem too unnerved by what she had seen. She let out an awkward laugh as she shifted where she stood. “So… uh… They might have hit something out there. And it’s a little… odd.”
Starlight looked on at Twilight, probably anticipating the inevitable teleport to the outside. But Twilight wasn’t in a rush. She reached into her desk and poured out a hoofful of antacids as she prepared to face another day of living in Ponyville.
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
Sunbeams Are Never Made Like Me
“Sweet Celestia, is that a bomb!”
Twilight wasn’t sure who had made the comment, but she did not appreciate the subsequent panic that followed. Many of her students had found their way outside after the initial impact. The noise had been loud, but not loud enough to draw in any residents from greater Ponyville. This was for the best since the ponies of Ponyville tended to be gawkers and fainters. Any further hysteria might be harder to instruct and curtail. Rumors formed rapidly and in real-time as they congregated around the crater in front of the School of Friendship. The hole was still relatively shallow, which made the metal bulge at the bottom of the pit all the more apparent. The metal had a fresh puncture wound from where the drill had unintentionally penetrated it.
It didn’t take long for Twilight and Starlight to disperse the crowd of curious students. Trixie and Spike led them back inside and promised to keep them entertained and out of the ongoing investigation. Twilight was pretty confident that the metal object was, in fact, not a bomb. She knew enough about Ponyville’s history to know that hidden bombs were an unlikely necessity in the small town. She had also run a quick x-ray spell to get an idea of what was underneath. The image proved that the metal object was some sort of large cylinder, with much still buried underneath. The cylinder also appeared to be full of items, a few of which could be seen from the exposed hole.
Twilight tentatively flew down into the pit as Starlight and the construction workers looked on from above. She rested her forehooves on the metal canister and used her magic to remove one of the items within. Her aura encapsulated a cardboard square with some sort of logo on it; upon closer inspection Twilight recognized it as a vinyl record. It was dusty and a bit worn, but still recognizable.
Starlight leaned forward and called out, “What is it, Twilight?”
Twilight hummed to herself as she read the front cover, “It seems to be a vinyl record for a band called… Marevana?” Twilight didn’t have much time to ponder what she was reading before Starlight jumped into the pit and snatched the record away.
Starlight scanned the vintage record with hungry eyes. “Twilight, this an initial release edition of one of Marevana’s earliest albums! Do you have any idea how valuable this is?”
Twilight only looked more confused than before as Starlight studied each inch of the vinyl with the utmost care. “Marevana?” She repeated, unsure if she was saying it right.
“Yeah, Marevana! One of the most influential rock bands in the modern age. Creators of songs like, ‘Spells Like Teen Spirit’, ‘Heart-Shaped Cutiemark’, and ‘Celestia Doesn’t Want Me for a Sunbeam.’” Starlight stared at Twilight with wide eyes and an incredulous expression.
Twilight could only shake her head at, what she could only assume were, song titles. Starlight, seeing that she would find no common ground here turned her attention back to the hole. She dug in greedily in hopes of finding more treasure underneath. Her hooves gripped a small glass object, she grunted as she strained to pull it out from the clutter. Twilight rushed to steady her once she removed the item, a clear glass jar with a piece of paper inside. Twilight wasn’t able to object before Starlight twisted the cap off. The smell of old paper filled their senses as Starlight unfolded it in her magic.
The writing was neat and in cursive, which led the duo to believe that it was written by an older pony. The message was short, but sufficient in clearing up exactly what was unknown. They read the words with fascination.
To who or whatever is reading this, I must ask. How are you? I wasn’t sure about this whole time capsule idea, but this whole town has been completely obsessed with preparing to give you a glimpse of the past. For their sakes, I hope that this letter and all of these items will be discovered intact 100 years from now. But this town of ours- Ponyville is what we call it- isn’t really known for planning plans that go exactly as planned. Things can get a little explosive around here. So, to the ponies 100 years in the future, enjoy your loot and learn a little something. And if you’re not a pony from 100 years in the future, and you’re just robbing this dustbin after like ten years or something. Eh, go for it. I don’t care, I’d be lucky if I even make it 5 years into the future. I just hope that whoever reads this finds themselves in times of peace and prosperity. So yeah, enjoy the future. Later chumps!
The letter had been given a date that was certainly not a hundred years ago; it had only been a few years since its inscription. There was also a name, or at least a set of initials signed at the bottom: FF .
Twilight stomped in place as her mind began to race. “Starlight, this isn’t good! We’ve punctured a hole in one of Ponyville’s monuments.”
Starlight didn’t share Twilight’s panic, she twirled FF’s letter around in her aura. “Relax Twilight, you read what FF said. They don't even care.” Starlight knew that the reasoning wasn’t her best; she smiled sheepishly as Twilight gave a disapproving look. “I mean, you went over the project plan with Mayor Mare, right? How were we supposed to know about this?”
Twilight sighed as she looked at the opening of the pit around her. “I guess you’re right. But we need to put back what we found and cover all this up. We’ll just find somewhere else to build.”
“Or, we could just tell Queen Novo that there was a complication preventing us from building the lab and use the money for something else.” Starlight suggested as politely as possible.
Twilight shook her head despite considering it. “No, we’ll just postpone construction for a later date. Go ahead and put away the vinyl and that jar Starlight.”
Starlight clutched the record in her hooves as if it was a newborn foal. She looked at Twilight remorsefully and stuttered out, “O-okay let's not be too hasty. We… blew a hole in the time capsule, it’s damaged. We can’t just rebury it like this. We might even need to check all of the items for potential damage just in case.”
Twilight could feel her head beginning to ache. Not because of Starlight’s stubbornness, but because her logic was somewhat sound. This was an error that needed to be fixed. She sat on her haunches and rubbed her temples with her front hooves. “You’re right.” She mumbled.
Starlight was practically glowing now. “Yes! Okay, you can remove the whole capsule, so we can get a better look.” She looked at Twilight with an expecting look, but Twilight only raised an eyebrow in response.
“Are you going to help me?”
“I feel like you got it.”
Twilight pondered Starlight’s sudden reluctance to exercise her magic. “You’re not still thinking about what Rainbow said the other day, are you?”
Starlight blew a raspberry and flicked her hoof dismissively. “What? No. I would never let something like that get to me or anything.” Her eye twitched slightly.
“Okay Starlight.” Twilight rolled her eyes as she powered up her horn.
Twilight had managed to teleport the time capsule into the castle with relative ease. A small audience of students had gathered to observe the spectacle. The capsule appeared to be a repurposed water tank big enough to fit a hoofful of grown ponies. Twilight could see splotches of paint and fading signatures underneath the layers of dirt. There was a twisting hatch at the top of the tank sealed with a lock and chain. It didn’t take long for Trixie to use her lock-picking skills to remove the barrier, and the three adults worked together to unscrew the hatch.
Upon witnessing Starlight’s fixation with the old, recovered album, Twilight stressed to everycreature present that the items were meant for the Ponyvillians of the future. Everything had to be returned safely once the capsule was patched up. Twilight, her friends, and a group of student volunteers got to work sorting and checking each item. The task wasn’t too complicated, as long as one didn’t allow themselves to become distracted by the items that they looked over.
Twilight tried to separate the items from the many faces that she had come to know and love throughout her years in Ponyville, but it was hard. This was a war between her tidiness and her curiosity. It was fascinating to see what these ponies had deemed important enough to be immortalized in a time capsule. She found assortments of records, pictures, writings, and sports paraphernalia.
At the top of the pile sat a metal box that held a plaque signed by Mayor Mare. It documented the official date of the capsules burying and relayed a brief message about the intentions of the townsponies. Twilight ran her hooves over the gold lettering on the plaque as she imagined the energy that must have overtaken the town while the time capsule was being put together. The few fragments of confetti found within the tank indicated quite a bit of fanfare. Twilight shook her head as she placed the plaque among her hoard of checked and verified items. She was about to inspect another object before she heard the unforgettable sound of Spike’s little feet slapping the ground.
Twilight took notice of the fine gold necklace around Spike’s neck. As if to read her mind, Spike slowed down his pace and removed the necklace, he smiled guiltily at the purple alicorn. “Hey Twi, we found some really cool stuff over here.” His claw pointed over toward Starlight and Trixie who were arguing over something. Twilight already knew that she was going to decline his request but didn’t want to shut him down too quickly. His heart was in the right place, but she was not going to allow herself to become distracted by anything.
“We actually found this little scrapbook put together by Rarity and Pinkie Pie.”
Twilight readjusted her wings as she stood up. Perhaps a little break was in order.
The scrapbook definitely looked like the creation of Pinkie and Rarity. The felt covering was bright pink and was decorated with blue rhinestones. Blue felt letters were carefully sewn into spell ‘Ponyville.’ At the bottom were Rarity and Pinkie’s signatures. Spike leaned over Twilight's shoulder as she ran her hoof over the felt cover. Starlight and Trixie carried on a heated argument behind them as Starlight slipped on a pair of neon green leg warmers.
She modeled the item under the scrutiny of Trixie’s disgusted glare. “See look at this. The pinnacle of fashion. This deserves to be brought back.”
Trixie made a gagging gesture with her mouth and hoof. “As if! Trixie thanks her lucky stars every day that trends like these are dead and gone. Those things were so constricting and uncomfortable. And they always made poor young Trixie’s hooves look swollen and sore.”
Starlight fussed with her mane and stuck up her nose. “I’m sorry to hear that Trixie, but I think they’ve earned their comeback. Twilight! If you wore one of these out, they’ll definitely come back. Maybe Rarity can incorporate them in her next collection.”
“No, Trixie must stop you, you fiend.” Starlight began to giggle as Trixie launched at her. The play wrestled for a bit while Spike rubbed his chin with a claw.
“Well, maybe Rarity was into that type of stuff back in the day. There’s only one way to find out.” He leaned into Twilight as he waited for her to open the scrapbook. She mulled it over, feeling a sense of dread about creeping into materials meant for the ponies of the future, but maybe Rarity did appreciate a good leg warmer back in the day.
She looked around as if the royal guard might storm the castle at any moment before earnestly flipping over the book.
“Woah!” Spike sat up a bit and took a closer look at the image on the front page. Twilight exercised a bit more decorum with her more subdued reaction, but what she saw definitely was unexpected.
The page simply read, ‘Your Authors!,’ with colorful dashes that resembled confetti or fireworks. Underneath was a picture of a younger Rarity and Pinkie. The pair were obviously a bit smaller than they were now and their manes were shorter. They were at that stage where one was nearly as tall as a grown pony, but the legs were still a bit lanky and awkward. Rarity sported a pair of glasses similar to the ones that she often wore when working on her dresses. Her friendly smile gave Twilight a full view of the braces that Rainbow had referenced the other day. They were a standard set with blue brackets that complemented her eyes quite nicely.
When considering the accidental frazzled, shut-in aesthetic that Twilight showcased during her adolescence, she had to admit that Rarity still looked about as confident and fashionable as she was currently. But this wasn’t too surprising for anyone who even recognized Rarity, what was surprising was the presence of glasses on Pinkie’s face. They were almost stereotypical when considering the time period. They were big with rectangular frames that took up a chunk of her face and acted as a magnifying glass to amplify her blue eyes. It appeared that the glasses had undergone intense circumstances since the bridge was fastened and reinforced with a thick pair of duct tape. This particular look wasn’t new to Twilight, her being an alumna of Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns and all. But she didn’t expect to see it reappear here.
She had never even seen Pinkie wear glasses outside of a comedic setting, and she never donned a pair like these. Spike was following the same train of thought. “Do you think she actually needed those? Does she wear them in other pictures too?”
Twilight wordlessly turned the page which showed a simple snapshot of indistinguishable Ponyville buildings. Pinkie stood alone at the center with a hoof gesturing in welcome. She was beaming as brightly as ever, and she still had on the glasses.
Spike stood up and studied the various hoards around them. “Maybe I can find some pictures outside of the scrapbook to compare.” He waddled off, leaving Twilight to converse with Starlight and Trixie who had moved on from their fashion debate. They were inspecting a lunch box with a cartoon character that Twilight didn’t recognize. Trixie took the liberty of opening it, finding a half-eaten bag of chips, a wrapped twinkie, and a slip of paper.
“What do you girls think? Pinkie’s never mentioned glasses before?”
Starlight stretched, tilting her head from side-to-side.” Maybe she just doesn’t want to talk about it. She might wear contacts now.”
Twilight shook her head; Pinkie was often open about every facet of her life. “But I’ve never seen her wear contacts either. She’s never mentioned it before.”
Starlight didn’t share Twilight’s enthusiasm regarding this mystery, she shrugged, “Well maybe she just wears nothing at all.”
“You think that Pinkie just traverses Equestria practically blind?” Twilight froze in her spot as she began replaying key interactions with Pinkie, she mumbled, “You know, you might be onto something. That could actually explain some things.” Twilight turned back to the scrapbook with a face of determination and concentration.
Starlight turned her attention back to Trixie and quickly grabbed the magician’s hoof, “Hey don’t touch that! It’s probably expired.”
Trixie’s mouth still hung open as she attempted to grab the unwrapped twinkie. “Well Trixie has been dealing with this old dusty, trash all day and she’s positively famished.” Her hooves went up dramatically as she feigned a faint. “And these don’t expire, they’ll last a lifetime. There’s plenty of stored food for the future ponies to eat, let Trixie have this.”
Starlight managed to slap the pastry out of Trixie’s hoof, tossing it back into the lunch box and sealing it shut. Yet, another argument began to flare between the two, making it difficult for Twilight to focus on her train of thought. Her brows furled as she turned to the bickering pair and spoke a little too loudly, “Hey!”
Her shout had succeeded in getting Starlight and Trixie’s attention, but it also had the unwanted effect of drawing the gaze of all the volunteers and Spike.
She cleared her throat and lightened her tone, “You’re right Trixie, we have been at this for a while and I’m certain that everyone could use a snack. Why don’t you and Starlight head over to Sugarcube Corner and order some desserts for us and our volunteers.”
Trixie hmphed before standing to her hooves. “Very well Sparkle. Let’s go Starlight.”
Twilight let out a sigh as she watched them exit. She was prepared to return to her pondering, but Spike ran up with a film reel. “Check out this great find. I can set up the projector real quick. Why not give it a little peak.” He grunted as he struggled to hold up the reel, its metal cover caught the light in the room just right, producing a captivating twinkle.
The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule
Starlight followed the familiar voices as she ran down the hall. She, Spike, and the students had been watching the time capsule’s film reel when she realized that Trixie was missing. A part of her was still hurt by Trixie’s words, but that didn’t mean that she wanted to be apart from her best friend. She knew that Trixie was hurting as well and feared that Trixie might have gotten into something unhealthy to cope with her complicated emotions. Sometimes, Starlight wished that she wasn’t so good at reading others.
She found a majority of her friends huddled together. Rarity was hoofing out pink bandanas as Applejack addressed the small group. Twilight was uncharacteristically remiss as she sulked in the back. Starlight came to the alicorn’s side as she watched Trixie tie a bandana around her neck.
“Twilight, what’s going on?” Starlight whispered, unsure if she should interrupt the meeting. She grew nervous as the word ‘fight’ was thrown around.
“Oh, I don’t know Starlight, why don’t you ask Applejack. Or maybe you could tell me since everypony is in the know and I’m not.” Twilight murmured.
Starlight pulled Twilight’s hoof to get her to lock eyes. “Twilight, I know this is a lot to take in, but our friends need us right now. This is insane! I don’t want them to get hurt.”
“I don’t want that either Starlight! But how am I supposed to help if nopony trusts me enough to tell me anything!” Twilight shouted.
Her outburst attracted the others’ attention as they paused their discussion. Applejack tied her bandana around her hoof and made her way over. “I’m sorry Twilight. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you anything. I’m sorry that I wrecked your castle. And I’m sorry that I’ve disappointed you.” Applejack’s lip quivered as she struggled to find the right words to say, “There’s nopony in Equestria that I wanted to talk about this with more than you, but I couldn’t bear the idea of giving you this burden. I hate who I was when I started this. I didn’t want you to know anything about her.”
“Applejack, you’re my friend. I’ll always be there for you. We’ve been through so much together. This is upsetting, but we can get through it together.” She looked at each of the fighters and tried to appeal to their practicality, “With that in mind, I still have to ask. Is there any way that I could talk you all out of this? There has to be a civil solution. I’m sure we can solve this and learn something new about ourselves in the process.”
The image of Bugs’ smug face appeared in Applejack’s mind. She fought off the urge to spit as she turned down Twilight’s suggestion. “Twilight, I fear that this ain’t about to be a friendship lesson. I ain’t friends with Bugs and I don’t know if I ever could be. That ship sailed the moment Pinkie went flying. I’ve learned from personal experience that some ponies just don’t quit when they’re this mad at the world.”
Rarity used her magic to collect her mane in a ponytail and tied it with the bandana. She looked at Twilight empathetically. “I know that this stands against your core message Twilight, but this is not a bad spat or an argument. This is a gang war. This started before we ever had the pleasure of meeting you, darling. I know this pains you, but we are grown mares. You must let us make this choice and live with the consequences.”
A sense of dread overtook the Princess of Friendship while she studied her friends’ determined expressions. She was trying to build a better world, and she believed in her message so fervently that she strived to teach others. She hoped that her friends felt the same way. How could they not, when so many of their victories directly resulted from their bond. But Twilight couldn’t deny that the outcomes of their victories weren’t always ideal. Her eyes brimmed with tears as she thought of Pinkie suffering in agony.
Twilight wiped her face with a hoof, trying to keep her sorrow contained. “You’re right, this does stand against my core message. I’m hurt that you all felt like you couldn’t trust or confide in me. I dislike the idea that you feel like this is your only solution. And hate the idea of any more of you getting injured.”
Rainbow Dash lowered her bandana from her muzzle and bumped Twilight on the shoulder. “Hang in there Twi. There’s no need to cry when we’re not gonna lose. Where’s the Twilight that spanked Tirek’s flank back to Tartarus?”
“I guess you have a bit of a point, even if that was a little different,” Twilight admitted. She accepted that she couldn’t change their minds, but that didn’t stop her from helping, “Okay, I have a plan.”
Applejack rubbed her forehead, thinking about how much time they had left to make Twilight understand. “Uh, Twi. We appreciate the gesture and all, but the decision is final. We’re tussling whether you like it or not.”
“Oh, I know. My plan isn’t to get you out of this, it’s to help you win.” The others looked at each other skeptically before huddling around Twilight. “Okay everypony, I think you should all focus on a single target. I’ve created an attack strategy with the optimal sparring partner. We’re going to need to establish your maximum damage potential for each of your opponents.”
“And…Tada! Darling, you look fabulous!” Rarity cheered. She clapped her hooves as she studied her crafty work.
She had successfully talked Twilight into donning their gang paraphernalia. The alicorn’s hair had been slicked back and fastened with the pink bandana.
Twilight blushed and rubbed the back of her neck. “I’m still not sure if it’s a good idea for me to wear this, Rarity. I’m not supposed to condone this behavior.”
The dressmaker turned fighter waved a dismissive hoof. “You don’t have to agree to support us, darling. The bandanas are simply meant to remind us of who we are fighting for. Had I known more about Applejack’s ‘Plan B’ I would have secured us matching jackets.”
The mares shared a laugh despite the severity of the situation. It was their final moment of levity before Applejack opened the front doors and called everypony to attention. Trixie moved to join the collective, but Starlight grabbed her hoof and pulled her aside.
“Trixie, I know that Twilight is oddly okay with this, but I’m not. I know that you’re upset, and I’m sorry that I didn’t try harder to understand, but you can’t do this. I don’t know why some things work out better for some than others, but I’m willing to find out with you. I’m worried that you're going to get seriously hurt.”
Trixie stared into Starlight’s pleading eyes. She looked around the room before wrapping Starlight in a gentle hug. “The Great and Powerful Trixie appreciates your concern…but I must do this. Trixie needs to understand something, and she needs to see it up close…I know that you are scared for me but worry not. Don’t forget that I live on the road. I’ve survived my share of battle.” she whispered.
Starlight squeezed her best friend tighter until Trixie slowly pushed her away. The magician took her hoof and tied a bandana around it. “Now you are one of us. The pink one’s death will not be in vain.” Trixie declared with a vengeful hoof.
Starlight cringed at the insinuation that Pinkie succumbed to her wounds but appreciated the gesture. She did her best to boost Trixie’s fighting spirit before Applejack called them over.
Bugs Marean and his gang had already assumed a spirit of triumph as they assembled outside the Friendship Castle. He was quick to set the parameters of their fight. “Okay Applejack, here’s what I’m thinking. A basic five vs five, multiple ponies against an individual is allowed, and the fighting stops once a member surrenders or dies. Since I’m a stand-up guy, I’m suggesting that we follow basic earth pony fight protocol. Pegasi keep their flight to three feet max and unicorns restrict their magic to level one conduct: brief levitation and zero teleportation.”
Twilight let out a sigh. Bugs made his proposition sound appealing since two/fifths of team Al Capony were earth ponies, but Twilight knew that he was trying to sabotage her team. Trixie and Rarity didn’t look like the fighting types, so Bugs sought to rob them of any strength that they had. He probably also associated Rainbow with her legendary flight skills. Twilight tried not to smile at Bugs’ predictable behavior. They had already strategized with this parameter in mind. He didn’t know these ponies like she did.
After taking a moment to deliberate with Maud, Applejack accepted Bugs’ proposition. The pegasus stallion removed his trench coat and threw it to one of his many observing henchponies. He was ready to throw down then and there, but Applejack stopped him with a hoof.
“One last parameter Bugs, then we can get to your beatin’. I know we all know what we’re doin’ here, but I want to ensure that everypony follows the golden rule: No Weapons. And by weapons, I’m talkin’ knives, bottles, pipes, magical staffs, crossbows, and whatnot.”
Bugs scoffed and flexed his muscles. “Uh, yeah. We’re not amateurs kid. This is a purely hoof-on-hoof brawl.” He stepped back to join his line when Pack Heat leaned over and mumbled. Bugs frowned and slapped the orange pegasus upside the head. He rubbed the bridge of his muzzle and addressed Twilight, “Listen Princess Twilight, some of the bobos on my team are worried that they’ll end up having to fight an alicorn today. Tell these fools why you’re the Princess of Friendship.”
Twilight didn’t expect to be spoken to by Bugs, but she brushed off her astonishment and confirmed his suspicions. “Though I strongly disagree with this solution, I have accepted my friends’ decision. I will serve as a bystander in this dispute. Please fight as if I were not here.”
Pack Heat received another shove from the mob boss. “See? She ain’t the Princess of Friendship for nothing. She’s not going to run the risk of her friends getting locked up by being a narc. She’ll just have to stand by and watch us pulverize her friends. I’m sure she’ll carry on their legacy as if they were saints anyway.”
Pack Heat returned to his position in the line-up while Team Capony got ready. Applejack removed her hat and placed it atop of Twilight’s head. “Hold onto this for me sugarcube.”
Twilight gave her friend a nod and an encouraging smile as Applejack joined her teammates. Her heart pounded as the enemies scowled at each other, they twitched and fidgeted in anticipation. She didn’t know why she expected some sort of bell or whistle to sound, since this wasn’t a game or a competition. Bugs was the first to break the stand-off, and his fighters followed his lead. He launched himself at Applejack just as Applejack said he would.
Team Capony dispersed, seeking to separate Team Marean. Rainbow Dash’s unexpected galloping speed took Pack Heat by surprise. The mare was significantly shorter than him, so she attacked his long legs with a swift flick of her hoof. The orange pegasus stumbled, nearly toppling over. Rainbow took the opportunity to head-butt his side, eliciting a grunt from him. He hissed as he staggered back. Rainbow charged at him again, but she was countered with a powerful punch to the chest, sending her backward. She panted and smiled as she prepared to go again.
The twin pegasi menaces, Badabing and Badaboom, apprehended Trixie. Each took one of her hooves and hurled her to the ground. She landed on her back and rolled over to narrowly avoid a punch to the face. Badabing’s wings vibrated as she dragged the magician by her mane. She twisted Trixie's head so she could see Badaboom preparing a powerful punch. He drew back his hoof with a malicious smile, but Rarity ensured that he wouldn’t succeed. The white unicorn delivered a precise front kick to Badaboom’s chin, sending him flying. It was just as Twilight predicted. The twins would stick together, and so would Trixie and Rarity. Rarity pulled Trixie to her hooves and scowled at Badabing.
Chop Squad let out a mighty roar in the unflinching face of Maud Pie. The earth pony stallion was practically a wall of pure muscle. His veins pulsed, and the earth trembled as he stepped forward. The ground exploded as he slammed his front hooves down onto Maud Pie. When he jerked his head to keep the dirt out of his eyes, he looked at his hooves and was surprised to not see the splattered remains of Maud. The rock farmer confirmed her survival with a punch to the gut. When she pulled her hoof away, she acknowledged that he was tough. He felt like solid stone, which meant that holding back was no longer necessary. She wanted to go again but Chop literally beat her to the punch. His massive hoof impacted Maud’s jaw, but she didn’t go flying. Chop stared at her as she stood in place. She cracked her neck as a bruise was forming on her cheek. In his shock, he didn’t try to stop Maud from striking his face. He yelped and stumbled backward. He felt his cheek and grinned at the gray mare. “Finally, a worthy opponent!” he cried as he rejoiced in his pain.
Applejack’s back legs thrusted into the empty air as Bugs evaded another one of her apple bucks. Though he was older, he was well-versed in the art of fighting. He expertly dodged a majority of Applejack’s attacks and effectively braced against any impact that did land. Applejack dove to the ground while a forehoof zipped over her head. Bugs tried to stomp down on her, but she rolled over, popped up, and swung at him. He blocked her first attack but failed to counter the second.
The mob boss grunted as he moved back after the hit to the face. Applejack gradually inched closer to him, seeing that he was dizzied by her blow. She wanted to go in for a tackle, but once she was in range Bugs stretched his wing and swatted her in the face. Applejack could see nothing but feathers when she received a rapid burst of hits to her sides. Her face hit the ground when Bugs completed his assault with a sucker punch.
Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that Rainbow Dash wasn’t in any better shape. Pack Heat swung her around and released her into the air. The blue pegasus screamed as she landed on the crook of her neck. Pack ran up and attempted another stomp, but Rainbow gripped his front hooves with her own. They pushed on each other before Rainbow remembered to use her back hooves. She bucked him off and warily stood up. She spit and watched Pack rev up his hooves for a charge. Rainbow continued to watch him as he retreated backward, waiting for her opportunity. Pack snorted as he sprinted forward, he bowed his head and braced for an impact that never came. Rainbow had leapt up in the air and clumsily landed on his back.
Blue hooves wrapped around his eyes, and he found himself running blindly as Rainbow steered him in an unknown direction. Rainbow looked out and saw Badaboom torpedo forward, ramming Rarity in the ribs. The fashionista fell to her haunches. Trixie tried to help her, but Badabing was persistent. The tiny purple and pink pegasus zipped around the magician while she struggled to locate her assaulter. The kicks to the head, to the flank, and to the shoulder were weak but frequent.
Trixie swatted Badabing away, but her punishment wasn’t over. Badabing dug her teeth into Trixie’s forehoof and refused to let go. Starlight winced as Trixie shouted every curse word imaginable. She grabbed Badabing by the scruff of the neck and tugged with all her might. That’s when she saw Rainbow Dash driving Pack through and had a brilliant idea.
Trixie gave one last yank and shrieked at the pegasus, “See you in Tartarus you winged demon!”
Badabing was flung into the air and collided with Pack’s hooves. The pegasus stallion tripped over Badabing, catapulting Rainbow Dash off of his back, incapacitating all three of them. Trixie grimaced while she looked at where the teeth had punctured her hoof. Badaboom saw his sister’s unintentional flight and zeroed in on Rainbow struggling to recover. He flashed a wicked smile as he prepared to target the one opponent that was genuinely down for the count.
Adrenaline pumped through Rarity as she read his mind. Her instincts activated and years of attending hoofball matches with her father kicked in. She ran headfirst into Badaboom, executing a beautiful tackle. They wrestled on the ground until Rainbow caught her second wind and grabbed Badaboom with her teeth. She easily tossed him atop of Pack Heat and chuckled at Rarity as the unicorn wiped dirt out of her muzzle.
“We will never speak of this again.” Rarity grumbled. Rainbow smirked as she pulled her to her hooves. Trixie joined them before the three launched another attack at Marean’s teammates.
Seeing her friends give their all, set a fire in Applejack’s belly. She dodged one of Bugs punches and sprinted behind him. She bit down on his tail and yanked. His back hooves lost their grip as he slid back, and face planted. Applejack hated to do it, but she jumped up and planted all four of her hooves into Bugs’ back. He screamed and threw her off, trying to land some sort of blow, but the damage was done. His movements were uncoordinated and poorly planned. The farmer dodged with ease and responded with a nasty right hook. Bugs, dazed, stumbled back and Applejack finished him off with a well-timed buck. There was no blocking or bracing from the mob boss, he soared through the air and crumpled to the ground.
Applejack panted and leered over him. “C’mon Bugs! Your ponies are down and out, but they won’t call a quits. They’ll just keep going until you pull the plug! This is why I wanted this to be between me and you only.”
Bugs rolled onto his side and sneered at her. “Well, if you want this to end so badly, I guess you’ll just have to get them to forfeit the other way.”
Applejack looked around at her team valiantly fighting despite their fatigue. Even Rainbow Dash, who was initially itching to fight, was losing her steam as she repeatedly shoved Pack Heat to the ground. Twilight seemed to come to the same conclusion as she covered her mouth with a hoof. Applejack had been confident that Bugs cared about his ponies, but she was wrong. His hate for her surpassed his love for his own team.
It appeared that Bugs had other intentions when including others in this fight. They were hostages; too loyal to surrender even if it ended their suffering. He knew that Applejack wasn’t willing to actually end anypony’s life. The honorable farmer would rather sacrifice her freedom than commit the irrevocable. He laughed as she came to terms with her situation. He collapsed on his back when she punched him in the face again, but he continued to cackle.
Applejack grunted and pinned him down with a hoof. “Bugs, I see what you’re doing. I gotta say that you’re real clever. I thought that you cared about your ponies because you always made a big deal about how they were hurtin’ too. Now I see that it was all a lie. You ain’t care about nothin’ but yourself and I hope everypony that follows you sees that.”
Bugs Marean stopped smiling once he heard her words. He turned his head to the side and spat. “You’re wrong Applejack. I do care about them! You’re the one that’s hurting them not me!”
The mob boss groaned as Applejack pressed down harder. “Oh, cut the foolishness Bugs! I wouldn’t have to hurt them if you didn’t bring them into this, and you still have the power to stop this! You’re selfish and a coward. You can fight how you want, but it ain’t right to pretend that you’re doin’ the right thing.”
Bugs' expression filled with concern as he looked around. His ponies really were out for the count. He sighed. “You know what…you’re right Applejack. We might be beat,” he admitted. Applejack cautiously removed her hoof, allowing him to sit up. He caressed his wing with a hoof. “We might lose this thing, but so will you.”
“Wha-” Applejack’s question was cut off when something sharp slashed her cheek. She didn’t have time to check for blood before Bugs jabbed his blade at her again. She gasped when it nicked her shoulder. The pegasus stallion must have tucked a weapon under his other wing, waiting for the right opportunity to strike. Bugs socked her in the gut, and she tried to duck from a slash to the head. The knife clipped her ear as Bugs masterfully grabbed her hoof and yanked her forward.
Time slowed down as Bugs positioned his weapon to puncture Applejack’s barrel. She squeezed her eyes and prepared to feel the piercing blow. Her condemnation of Bugs’ leadership had inadvertently led to her death. He found a way to lose the match but win his prize. The farmer could hear the faint sound of Rainbow Dash beginning to scream her name, and she felt the prick of Bugs’ blade.
It took her a second to realize that it was taking a long time for her to be fully stabbed. She opened one eye to peep Bugs' knife-wielding hoof in the firm grip of Maud Pie. A gray hoof was wrapped around Bugs’ neck, but he continued to jab his knife with everything he had left. Maud’s cyan eyes were filled with rage as she firmly and succinctly spoke.
“This. Ends. Now.”
A sickening crack and a scream were heard once Maud finished her words. Everypony gasped as they witnessed the unnatural way that Bugs’ hoof was bent. The knife fell to the ground, and Bugs cupped his forehooves together to try and shield from the rising pain of his newly broken hoof. But Maud Pie wasn’t done. She snatched his other hoof and tried again.
“Give. Up.”
Bugs barely had any time to reject Maud’s request before he received his second broken hoof of the day. His fighters stood by stunned and uncertain of what to do. Their leader wailed, screamed, and cursed, but he was firmly in the grasp of the gray mare. She showed that she was willing to go to extreme measures, a level of brutality that was unexpected from anypony in Applejack’s social circle. Pack Heat covered his eyes as she pushed Bugs over and lifted his back hoof.
“Two more, then I’m taking your wings,” she informed him apathetically.
Bugs flailed around helplessly until he gave in. Applejack came out of her daze when she heard his cries. “Stop! Stop! Applejack, make it stop! Call off your muscle! We’re done! You win, you win!”
Applejack wasn’t sure why she was so scared to make eye contact with Maud, but she took her sweet time getting there. She nervously nodded at her older cousin, hoping that Maud would comply with the ceasefire. The rock farmer glared at Bugs before releasing his unbroken back hoof. Applejack knew that she should be celebrating, but the sound of Bugs’ shrieks in her ears was making it difficult. This had been a really long week.
Rainbow nudged Rarity in the shoulder and pointed at the mob boss. “Aw, sick! If you look close enough, you can even see his bone! Look, look Rarity. That’s one of the grossest things that I have ever seen. Look Rarity. Hey, Trixie! You look too. Look at his gross hooves!”
Rarity turned her head away and gagged. She was definitely going to need some of Pinkie’s special cider stash after this. Wobbly hooves carried her to the equally disturbed Twilight Sparkle.
Applejack rubbed her forehead while Maud came to her side. “Hey…there Maud. N-nice work.” The words were hesitant, but they felt surprisingly genuine to Applejack. “You know…I probably would have done the same if someone did Applebloom like that. Thanks for savin’ my life cuz… eh...whatever happened to your opponent?”
Maud used her hoof to massage her shoulder. “Oh, him? After I saw Bugs pull the knife, I decided that I should stop playing with him and help you. I headbutted him and came over. Pies don’t lose fights.”
Chop Squad’s back hoof twitched as he lay incapacitated on the ground. His tongue was sticking out and he had a bloody nose. The Bada twins took turns poking his barrel in a halfhearted attempt to resuscitate him. While witnessing the carnage, Applejack let out a low whistle. She patted Maud on the back.
“Yep, you Pies are a different breed. Some of us got to learn that the hard way.”
The apple farmer took the opportunity to talk to Bugs once his screams simmered into a consistent anguished groan. She got as close as his goons would allow and tried to maintain a neutral expression.
“Good tussle Bugs. You and your ponies put up a good fight, but it looks like my terms won out. I know I said that you can’t return here, but I’d be fine if you wanted to stop by Ponyville General on your way out.”
The mob boss slammed his head against the ground. “Ah buck off tree-kicker, you win! I don’t need your pity. Ponyville is your territory now and forever.”
“Now, that ain’t what I wanted, Bugs. I just don’t want you comin’ around here no more AND you need to keep me out of your thoughts. Don’t even look at an apple if that makes it easier on you, but our feud is settled!”
She didn’t wait for him to respond before she finally joined her friends in victory. She was sore all over, but she felt a weight lifting off her shoulders. Her hat found its way back to her as Twilight levitated it over. She smiled as she hugged her friend, even if Twilight squeezed her aching body a little too tightly. It was apparent that she needed medical attention, all of them did, but she took those few moments to relish the feeling of a hard-won battle.
