Transference

I was going through the options I thought were available to me while walking among the dreams that plastered my surroundings, many of which were not from ponies as far as I could tell.

Waiting for Luna was no longer a vaild choice for me. My desperation in seeking a way to live again became worse by the day. I would need to find a way to explain myself to somepony and answer questions right away when I had the chance to talk. And that needed to happen soon, while I was still somewhat sane. Otherwise, I was at risk of being hunted down, again. This time for real.

How would Twilight react, knowing that Luna killed her former tutor if I were to tell her? What would she think of my part in all this? Hidden for so long in the dark, now suddenly appearing out of nowhere because I needed help myself. Would she even believe me or think that I was trying to deceive her in some way?

And I couldn't just tell her in her dreams right away. I would have to possess her first before I could interact with her at all. A risk I was not willing to take just for a talk, at least not for now.

Leaving a note in the waking world saying 'Hey, you were lied to and your idol was killed, by Luna and me, how do you feel about that?' Also didn't seem like an ideal way of handling the situation... but that could also have been because of my lack of communication skills.

There was the option of talking to her in her dreams right after I had taken over. But I feared she'd be too upset and confused to listen right then. Even if she did, what was she supposed to do? Probably call for Luster Dawn to figure it out, if she was anywhere close to Celestia had been, I imagined.

And who was to know what Luna would do if she found out during the interaction? She had the power to change Twilight's dream making her forget about our conversation and therefore the takeover altogether. Unless I did something drastic that involved others while being Twilight...

No, I really didn't want to endanger Luna's and Twilight's newly achieved status quo with the other species too much, no matter how desperate I was to talk to somepony else than Luna. I didn't want Luna and Twilight to turn on each other if something went wrong. There must have been another way.

Luna might be tempted to sacrifice me if she had to choose between her own happiness and mine. At least, that's what I would do in her situation when confronted about her involvement in the past. In the end, a princess likely chose in favor of the greater good.

The only other mare that could currently see me in her dreams would have been Applejack, since I had possessed her before. But I wasn't sure suddenly popping up in her dreams after all that time would be a good idea either. Surely the dream would turn into a nightmare upon seeing me, and Luna would notice and interfere.

I only wanted a chance at real life, as short as it may be... If needed I'd go someplace else far away. Twilight and the other main characters didn't need to know what had happened. This was all about my own life.

Then there really was just one other option available. One more who knew I even existed in this world.

Discord...

I had tried finding his dreams before, but to no avail. And I wondered, did the draconequus even dream or sleep at all? All that and more went through my head as I made my way to a mirror that had a familiar little cottage shown - Fluttershy's.

My guts turned inside of me. I had no good memories of that place, which was one of the main reasons I had never visited her dreams. And the possible wrath of Discord, should I dare tamper with his most favorite pony.

Luna told me she avoided Fluttershy's dreams for the same reason. But there never seemed to be a need anyways, as she had no nightmares. No need to provoke conflict with the Spirit of Chaos.

So I was certain I'd come in contact with Discord somehow if I took over Fluttershy or entered her dreams, but it did make me anxious...

How would he react if I did that? Back then it seemed as if he had no control over me. But I was sure he had other ways to make my life even more miserable if he truly wanted to. Who knew, maybe he'd bring me back to life just to torment me. After all those years, I was desperate enough to dare.

Discord was a wildcard, one that I needed. He probably knew that Luna was involved in Celestia's death, but didn't tell anypony. I also heavily doubted that he told Fluttershy about his part in all this, still unsure what that was exactly. He did something that involved an item he made if I remembered his words correctly.

It would be in Discord's best interest as well, that this affair remained a secret. In the show, he always seemed cautious not to displease Fluttershy too much. So if worse came to worst, he would likely fix things on his own if it involved her, and I had a feeling that Luna would not try to oppose Discord if things escalated in a still manageable direction.

All in all, it seemed like a free trial run to me. One without permanent consequences. Maybe. I was likely lying to myself to find the courage to go forward.

I was shivering all over when I lifted one of my hooves to touch the mirror's surface.

Solid, like a real mirror.

Wait, what?

I knocked on the surface a few times, just to be sure, and the sound of my knocking on the mirror echoed through the dreamscape.

"Oh, well, guess that was never an option, to begin with", I said disappointed, but also a bit relieved, to be honest.

I was about to turn around and think of something else when I suddenly heard a familiar voice out of nowhere.

"Coming, one moment," said the voice from somewhere behind the mirror, barely audible.

Just sitting there, I looked at the mirror with an open mouth.

The mirror opened inwards, just like a regular door, and I could see Discord's face between the crack.

"Well, hello there, my murderous friend!" Discord exclaimed. "I was wondering when you'd finally show up."

He opened the mirror fully and made a gesture for me to come inside.

We looked at each other for a while. He just smiled noddingly while holding the mirror-door open for me.

I stood up and walked through while shaking my head, not rewarding him with an answer of mine.