How to Interrogate a Unicorn

by marmalado

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Rarity, Random, Slice of Life, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 9517

How Odd Squad agents interrogate those...utterly confusing, but magnificent, unicorns. Particularly one elegant and graceful one who will not let up and threatens to sap away the sanity of an agent herself.

It's a lesson that every agent is taught at the Odd Squad Academy: how do you interrogate a unicorn?

Sure, they know how to handle unicorns from Far-Far-nia. But how about a unicorn from a rather...different world? One that proves to be more trouble than any other unicorn agents have faced before? One that flies into a rage if you so much as spill one speck of dirt on her hoof? One that manages to drive her interrogator to the breaking point?

A story in the Normalcy is Magic collection, a collection of crossover stories that are connected with Odd Squad.

Published 2022-09-26 06:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-09-26 06:00:01 UTC

1. Make the Unicorn Comfortable

Try playing some gentle harp music and offer the unicorn a snack. Most unicorns enjoy boiled hay with rainbow sprinkles.

"In here."

"Hmph!"

The girl led her culprit into a rather cozy but bland interrogation room. Making sure no one else was around, she closed the door.

"Honestly, I do not know why you think I was the one that did it."

"Just go over there." The girl pointed across the metal table that sat in the room. As the culprit did as she was told, the girl reached behind her back and pulled out a harp that appeared to be bigger than her.

"Darling, just how did you-"

"Don't ask questions." The girl cleared her throat and took off the navy-blue jacket she was wearing, draping it over the back of the chair. "Now...allow me to introduce myself."

"Finally."

"My name is Agent Olive. You have been accused of committing a crime of oddness. Specifically, embedazzling."

"Embe...do you mean embezzlement?"

"No. Embedazzling." The girl, now known as Olive, cracked her knuckles. "As per Odd Squad's policy on how we handle criminals, I must interrogate you as a suspect."

"A suspect? Darling, I assure you, I did not do it!"

"A likely story." Olive muttered, just before playing a few strings on the harp. "Tell me your name."

"It's, uh...w-well, it's...Rarity." The unicorn was taken aback by this human who could apparently play the harp with ease. "Can...all of you play that?"

Olive scoffed. "No, of course not. I just know how to play the harp because I'm talented. Not to brag."

"Uh-huh."

"You hungry?"

The question came so out of the blue that it almost didn't faze Rarity, who was still taken aback by the harp. She blinked a couple times, making sure this wasn't some weird dream she was having or some magic mishap of Twilight's she had somehow stumbled into. "Um...yes, I am, actually. What do you have?"

Olive plucked a string out of tune, but continued playing nonetheless. "We have boiled hay with rainbow sprinkles."

A pause.

"And?"

"Uh, well..." Olive got to thinking. "Name your desire, I guess."

"Fame and fortune as the best fashionista Equestria has ever seen."

This wise crack caused Olive to pluck another string out of tune. Her partner's jokes she could see coming from a mile away, but this unicorn? Having the audacity to air the room with a joke when she was being interrogated as the suspect in a crime?

Horse has got some nerves, I can say that much.

"I'm kidding. Just a hay sandwich would be fine."

"Boiled? With rainbow sprinkles?"

"Sure."

Olive paused her harp-playing and opened the door just enough for her head to stick out, and she flagged down an agent walking by. "Hey! Can you get a hay sandwich for my suspect? Boiled hay, with rainbow sprinkles."

"You got it." The agent nodded and descended to the first floor.

Olive was watching him go to the Breakroom with such intensity that she almost didn't notice Rarity standing next to her...that is, until she said, "You have a rather lovely...er..."

"First of all, get back inside. You don't leave this room without my say-so, understand?"

"I-"

"And second of all, yes, we do have a lovely Headquarters. Thank you for noticing."

With a dissatisfied look, Rarity slipped back inside, and Olive continued watching the agent as he had Oksana fulfill her order.

"Here you are. Sorry it took so long." The agent handed Olive a plate that housed one neat-looking hay sandwich.

"Thank you." Olive waved him off before heading back inside and slamming the door.

As she laid the plate down on the table without a single spoken word to Rarity, the unicorn eyed the sandwich with a look of disdain. After about a minute, she did what Olive was secretly dreading.

"I wanted white bread, darling."

"Then why didn't you-" What let loose from Olive was a sound that Rarity honestly didn't think could ever be sounded from any living creature, at least not in Equestria.

"Are you okay?"

"Give me the stupid sandwich." Olive snatched the plate from in front of Rarity and promptly marched out of the interrogation room. "And stay there! Don't you move!"

With that, the door closed, leaving Rarity alone with no one to talk to and hardly anything to look at.

Olive stomped down the stairs, muttering something unintelligible under her breath about how unicorns were pesky brats and shouldn't be trusted by any means. Naturally, this caught the attention of the resident emotionless chef, the I've-been-dead-inside-since-I-was-born Oksana.

"Hey, partner!"

On odd. Of course he would have to come when I'm in the Breakroom.

"Oksana, can you please make me a new hay sandwich on white bread? Boiled hay with rainbow sprinkles."

"Yeah, yeah, don't think I've forgotten. I'll be right back."

With the Food and Beverage Department agent out of the picture, Olive could focus on her next barricade: her partner. A tall, black-haired-and-brown-eyed boy just two years younger than her, he was the complete opposite of her in more ways than one. She had to admit that he was the one person keeping her from going completely and utterly insane when it came to unicorns.

"Hiiii, Otto!" She spun around to face him, a grin forming on her face that would fit right at home in an asylum of crazy people.

"Are you all right? You don't look so good."

"Really? I've gotten a full eight hours of sleep, you know that? I'm normal! Totally normal!"

"Then how come your eye's twitching?"

Sure enough, a twitch was beginning to develop in Olive's left eye. As obvious as it was, though, she was quick to deny it. "What twitch?"

Otto's eyes widened as he realized exactly why his partner was acting the way she was. "Oh odd...you're interrogating a unicorn again, aren't you?"

Olive let loose a loud, almost unhinged laugh that certainly wasn't like one of her usual ones. It managed to catch the attention of some nearby agents who eyed her with confusion.

"Ms. O told you not to do that again! Not after what happened the last time!"

"What happened the last time?" Olive giggled. "Enlighten me."

"You went completely sleepless for a week. I saw your house. It was plastered with anti-unicorn propaganda from wall to wall!" Otto rolled his eyes. "Even Ms. O told you to take it down! And the snores...you wouldn't think a snore could echo throughout an entire neighborhood and take down a couple structures, but you learn something new every day!"

"Best sleep of my life!"

"Tell that to the adults that are rebuilding those sheds and garages." Otto sighed. "Honestly, Olive, it's rare that I'm not the one messing things up this time. Just quit while you're ahead."

"Never. I've got a good feeling with this one!"

"Here you are. One hay sandwich on white bread. Boiled, rainbow sprinkles."

Olive didn't even bother to say thank you to Oksana nor to her partner, instead running back up to the interrogation room where Rarity sat.

"I'm concerned for her health."

"Aren't we all." Oksana deadpanned, rolling her eyes and heading off towards an unknown location.

"Here. Take the sandwich." Olive threw the sandwich down in front of the unicorn.

"Ah. Thank you." Using her magic, she levitated the sandwich and took an ever-so-dainty bite. Her eyes widened as she contemplated telling Olive that the rainbow sprinkles didn't really do it for her, but thought better since she didn't want to put her through that again. She was a suspect, after all.

Olive continued to play her harp as Rarity ate, neither one of them saying a word. Rarity had to admit that the harp music was rather melodious, if not lullabylike. She herself couldn't play the harp -- that honor belonged to her friend Pinkie Pie -- but she made a mental note to at least try it out when she returned to Equestria.

That is, if she returned to Equestria. To be honest, she had no idea how she got here.

When Rarity was finished eating, she sighed. "Thank you again for the meal, darling. I really didn't think you treated your suspects with such kindness and generosity!"

"We don't." Olive was now somehow playing the harp in tune with her eyes closed. "Unicorns, however, are an exception. We have different rules for different suspects."

"And what rules are those?"

"I don't think you need to know. Not unless you plan on committing more odd crimes." Olive opened her right eye and looked at Rarity. "Are you?"

"C-certainly not!" Rarity gave a sheepish laugh. "Um, anyway...so what's next?"

"Now, we can begin with the meat of the investigation." Olive shoved the harp aside and resumed her position across from the unicorn. "Exactly where do you live?"

"Oh! Well, I come from a land called Equestria. It's filled with the most wondrous creatures, including my friends, of course."

"Your friends?"

"Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy." Rarity tilted her head. "I can tell you more about them, if you'd like."

"Depends on if they're unicorns."

"Well, no. Twilight is an alicorn, though. Would that interest you?"

Olive's brow furrowed. An alicorn...oh, like one of the horses that traveled with Ms. O on her Odd Squad Journey Across the Sea or whatever she's calling it now. Wings and horns. She gave a single nod.

"All right." Rarity got comfortable in her chair and cleared her throat. "It all started when Twilight used to live in a city known as Canterlot..."

2. Trick the Unicorn

Try holding up a mirror and saying "Who did it?" and see if the unicorn points at its reflection. NOTE: This doesn't always work, because many unicorns know this trick. ANOTHER NOTE: Please keep this handbook away from unicorns, because we don't want more of them to learn this trick.

It had been about 15 minutes since Rarity had begun telling the story of her friend, and Olive was positively bored out of her mind.

She was expecting a rather simple story. What she got was something far more elaborate that could be an author's next big hit.

Resting her cheek in the crook of her hand, her brown eyes turning glossy and dull, she fought to stay awake as Rarity continued to tell all about this mysterious alicorn known as "Twilight Sparkle". She had to admit, the story was fun for a time, but soon it delved into her suspect talking about every single adventure. As much fun as the agent had with Otto, she didn't feel the need to enlighten people about every case they went on.

"And that's it."

"Huh?" Olive blinked and sat up. "Oh. C-cool, I guess."

"Oh! I'm so sorry, darling, was I boring you?" she asked. "Sometimes I do tend to get carried away telling other ponies about our exploits. I simply must put an end to that..."

"No, no...not at all." Olive stifled a yawn as best she could, hoping Rarity wouldn't pick up on it. "Anyway, uh...next on the list is..."

She reached behind her back and pulled out a mirror, pointing it at Rarity so she could see her reflection. "Did you do it?"

"What- no! I already told you I didn't!" Rarity waved a hoof. "Exactly what do you think I am, a brainless filly?"

"Well, not a filly..."

Rarity scoffed. "Are you accusing me of being idiotic?! Why, that is just rude!"

"I- wait, no..." Olive tried to backtrack, knowing that in all of her hatred of unicorns, she had gone too far this time. "I'm sorry, I meant to tack on 'and not brainless either'."

"Hmm..." Rarity didn't seem convinced.

"Look, I said I'm sorry. I mean it. I don't know what more proof I need to give."

Rarity scoffed. "Fine. Now, can you please let me go?"

"No."

"But why?!"

The cry was practically a whine, and it got on Olive's nerves right quick. She restrained herself from lashing out again, however. "Because I'm not done interrogating you."

"But I haven't done anything!"

"Really?" Olive reached behind her back again and took out a manila folder, opening it to show a few forms and a few pictures of the crime scene hidden away inside. "Then what do you call this?"

Rarity looked at the photos. One of them showed her curly purple tail as she ducked behind a tree, while another showed her from the back as she faced a tree whose bark was studded with gems. The third photo was of her getting apprehended by two Odd Squad agents, her face contorted into a scream of terror and hatred.

"W-well...perhaps it was a pony who looked like me. After all, it certainly wouldn't surprise me. I did have a pony who looked identical to me...and even tried to pose as me in one instance."

"Did they have a curly mane and tail like yours?"

"Um...well, not exactly. It was curled, but not as much as mine. Only at the ends."

"Aha!" Olive got a mad look in her eyes that unnerved Rarity greatly. "So it was you! You can't deny it any longer! I've got you cornered..." She exhaled. "And I'm not backing down!"

Rarity's eyes widened and her ears folded downwards. Immediately, her mind ran through the question of, "Can I beat this human with my bare hooves?" The answer was rather complicated, as she had no idea how strong Olive was. She had four large limbs, but two -- the legs -- appeared to be for standing, not so much for fighting.

The unicorn flashed back to when Olive had been disgruntled about taking her sandwich, and she had to fight a smile that tried to form on her maw. I bet I can get under this girl's skin...obviously she doesn't like unicorns very much, and that includes me.

But first, I need to get out of this sticky situation.

"Have you considered any other suspects, darling?"

"A-a-any...any other..."

"Suspects. See here?" Rarity pointed at the second photo. "Exactly how do you know it was me who put gems on this tree? And honestly..." She chuckled. "I am certainly not a pony to go around placing gems where they simply do not belong. Fluttershy would not be happy if she saw this."

"But- but it-"

A pause.

Olive took a deep breath. "If you'll excuse me for just one moment. Don't leave this room."

Rarity nodded as Olive made her way out of the interrogation room.

The second the door closed, the sound of a muffled and irritated scream filled the mare's ears, and she took this opportunity to let the smile she had been holding back form on her maw.

Meanwhile, outside the interrogation room, Otto nearly choked on his apple from where he was sitting at his desk located on the first floor of the bullpen, and other agents turned their heads to look at the source of the sound.

"Olive!" Otto swallowed his apple bite and had a few coughs, eyeing Olive marching down the stairs. "What the hell was that?!"

"This unicorn...is going...to drive me insane."

"In other news, we work in Odd Squad, the sky is blue, and I'm eating this apple!" Otto did jazz hands to punctuate his sarcasm. "There's a reason why Ms. O told you never to interrogate unicorns again."

"I'm going to get the answers I want, Otto."

"You tried the old mirror trick?"

"Yes."

"Have you tried a truth serum?"

Olive's eyes widened.

Otto pulled something out from his back and handed it to her. It was nothing more than a simple apple-flavored juice box.

"Have her drink this, and then thank me later."

In a flash, Olive was already running back up the stairs, not bothering to care about her surroundings.

As Rarity was filing her hooves, she heard the door slam, which made her jump slightly as she swiveled her head to look at Olive, holding the juice box in her hand and wearing a rather crazed expression on her face.

"I, um...may I help you, darling?"

Slowly, Olive walked over to her and slammed the juice box down on the table. "Drink this. Now."

"Oh! Why, thank you." The unicorn lit up her horn and removed the straw from the packaging, carefully sticking it into the mixture. Her nose twitched as it caught the scent of something rather...unusual about this juice box. She tilted her head, but kept the innocent look plastered on her face as she glanced at Olive with her azure eyes. "But can you please drink it first?"

"What."

"Well, I'd like to make sure it isn't poisonous or anything. Something smells a little funny to me."

"Maybe it's your body odor."

"Darling!" Rarity's eyes widened. "I'll have you know that I shower twice a day like everypony should, thank you very much. Perhaps the same cannot be said for you."

"Of course I shower every day!" Olive snapped. "Now drink the stupid juice!"

"Did you not hear me when I said I wanted you to drink it?"

"FINE!" In a fit of rage, Olive snatched the juice box and chugged all its contents, down to the last drop. With her head tilted back, Rarity took the opportunity to let a knowing smirk form on her face as she internally praised herself for letting Olive drink the very thing she herself had most likely tampered with.

She timed the disappearance of the smirk just as Olive brought her head down...and just as she froze as she realized what she had done.

An unholy scream left the girl's throat as she collapsed to her knees and began slamming the floor with her fist. In turn, Rarity merely sighed and shook her head. What a filly, to be throwing a such tantrum like this...but I suppose we'll find out her true colors any minute now.

The screaming session went on for several minutes, and all the while, Otto looked up at the interrogation room with worry and fear in his eyes, wondering if maybe, just maybe, he needed to check up on his partner...

3. Make the Unicorn Jealous

If the unicorn still won't cooperate, then say, "Okay, I guess I'll just have to talk to a Pegasus instead."

The brave and magnificent unicorn stood over the quivering and shattered human. It was hard to fight the smile that tried to worm its way onto her maw.

Sooner or later, however, she noticed that the human's quivers of sadness and grief turned into quivers of rage.

Rarity leaned back on instinct, her eyes widening and her smile slowly fading as she lit up her horn in case she needed defense. Perhaps making her mad was a bad idea...after all, who knows how strong she is with those...things on the ends of her legs?

Just as she opened her mouth to ask if Olive was okay, the girl stopped quivering and gave a heavy sigh, knowing that there was no way she could fight the truth serum that was rocketing through her bloodstream.

"The truth is..."

Rarity perked up.

"I really wanted to talk to a Pegasus instead."

"What? Er, um..." Rarity stuttered. "W-why is that?"

"Because they aren't stupid, oddness-causing brutes like unicorns are."

Cue jaw drop and a flurry of stammers.

"You see, I hate unicorns. I despise them with every fiber of my being." Olive slowly got to her feet. "Society dictates that girls like me should be into things like princesses and Shmumbie dolls and unicorns. But I say, to hell with what it dictates. I like sports, any and all kinds. If I could play all of them, if my schedule allowed for that, I would. Princesses and dolls just aren't my kind of thing."

Rarity was still in a state of shock, although Olive didn't care too much about whether she heard what she was saying or not.

"Unicorns only add to the plenitude of work I have each and every single day I work here..." A twitch began to form in Olive's eye. "With their magic, they cause all sorts of oddness and make our jobs harder and harder..."

Rarity could only blink.

"Did you know that we eat unicorns?"

Another blink.

"I know, right? You might think it's unethical. But agents here love it. They're graceful to look at, but also taste absolutely delicious..." Olive's mouth began to water. "Or so I'm told. But I have no desire to eat unicorns anyway."

Internally, Rarity gave a sigh of relief, and began coming to from her period of shock.

"That doesn't mean I don't want them gone from this world either way, though. Because you see..." Olive walked over to the desk and leaned on it. "I once interrogated a really tricky unicorn. It only took me ten minutes to find out where she lived. She was so oppositional for no reason...even though she wasn't even the suspect at fault." She snorted. "I tried every single interrogation trick up my sleeve on that thing. It was only after I gave her an indirect death threat that she finally complied."

Although it didn't look like it initially, Rarity was hanging on to every single word her interrogator was saying. A sigh escaped her lips as she opened her mouth to speak once more.

"Darling, I do understand your plight, but...I can assure you that not all unicorns are as troublesome as the one you once spoke to." she explained. "You are generalizing an entire species based on a single interaction."

"So what?"

"I'm saying that you need to be more open-minded. I haven't caused you much trouble, have I?"

"Are you kidding? Yes, you have!" Olive snapped. "From wanting your sandwich done a particular way, to boring me with your story of your 'Twilight Sparkle' friend, to deflecting blame by asking me if any other suspects might have applied the gems to the trees, to making me drink the truth serum you were supposed to drink. You have been nothing but trouble. I've had villains that were easier, and that's without even considering the 20-minute rule we have in place for them!" She scoffed. "I don't come into work every day and work 9-to-5s just to deal with insufferable, intolerable scum like you and your ilk, you know that?"

"I-"

"The least you could do was make things easier on me. You're like a child whose entire life's purpose is only making things harder for Mommy and Daddy. You're a full-grown horse, aren't you? Shouldn't you know better?" Olive continued. "Odd forbid you become a villain in our rogues gallery, then I would have an excuse to actually kick your butt and make you hurt so badly that your future children would feel it. Is that really what you want? Because it's what I want!"

"Dar-"

"Odd Squad thinks that unicorns are so graceful and so majestic!" Olive said in a mocking tone of voice. "And maybe they are. Or at least, they were back in the olden days. But here's the thing: you can't be fooled by their elegance. Doing that only makes you more susceptible to their misdeeds, as they go out and wreak havoc on cities and the people living in them. There is absolutely no unicorn I have ever met that has been good. That is what the Odd Squad Agent's Handbook has taught us for years, and I'm certainly not turning back on its advice now."

By this point, Rarity had ceased her attempts to get a word edgewise, her azure eyes shimmering with fear and worry as her interrogator fixed her with a chocolate-brown gaze of fire.

"You are not an exception. Try one of your stupid little stunts on me one more time, I dare you. You do that, and you'll get a one-way ticket to heaven."

Olive turned on her heel and walked towards the door.

"Um...w-where are you going?"

"To talk to a Pegasus, like I said. Your friend... 'Rainbow Dash' or whoever it was? I happen to know she was at the scene of the crime."

The girl held up the same picture of Rarity facing a gem-studded tree. In the shot, however, was something that the unicorn hadn't noticed before -- part of a rainbow-colored tail that, with no doubt, belonged to her friend. That's right. We both came here together...and Rainbow Dash wanted to go tour the city with me...

"Maybe she'll get me the answers I'm looking for, without dragging me through horse manure in the process."

As soon as Olive opened the door, however, she was met with a concerned Otto, arms crossed and eyeing her with suspicion. Standing next to him was an equally pissed-off Oprah.

"Partner? Ms. O? What do you two want? I don't have time to talk to either one of you, get out of my way."

"Clearly, either my truth serum worked a little too well, or it was a complete dud. Glad your suspect didn't drink it, in either case."

"What?"

"And clearly, you also didn't listen to me when I specifically ordered you off of any unicorn interrogations." Oprah shook her head. "Don't you remember what happened the last time? With the case where characters were coming out of library books?"

"The one where I decapitated a mummy?"

Oprah's eyes widened as she swiveled her head over to Otto.

"I- uh...n-never mind. That's not important right now." Otto sheepishly chuckled.

"You're a smart kid, Agent Olive. I don't know why you would put yourself through the pain of interrogating another unicorn. Are you trying to make things harder on yourself?"

Olive had no answer to Oprah's question, instead letting her gaze drift from her to her partner as she tried to register what was going on.

"Miss Unicorn..."

"Rarity, darling."

"Rarity?" Oprah nodded. "On behalf of my agent, I'm sorry for what's transpired here."

"Oh, it's quite all right. Believe me, I have fared much worse."

"My name is Ms. O, by the way. But you're welcome to call me Oprah."

"And I'm Agent Otto, Olive's partner. But just Otto is fine." Otto waved.

"It's wonderful to meet you both. Does this mean, um...that I'm free to go?"

"Unfortunately, no. This interrogation hasn't gone much of anywhere, and you're still considered a prime suspect. We still need answers." Oprah shook her head.

"M-Ms. O..."

"Save it, Olive. Even in spite of your reckless behavior, I am willing to give you one last chance to make this interrogation of Rarity a success."

"Are you kidding me?!" Otto blurted out. "Were you even listening when I told you what was going on?!"

"I'm well aware of what's going on." Oprah replied coolly. "But I believe Olive can change her attitude and stance on unicorns as a species."

Olive's eyes widened.

"And I'm granting it to her by allowing her to use the final tactic in the Odd Squad Agent's Handbook for interrogating unicorns. This will work without failure. Trust me."

4. Go on a Magical Journey

If you still haven't found out the truth, ask the unicorn to take you through a magical land of rainbows and clouds. The unicorn will always say yes to this. While on the trip, ask, "Hey, did ya do it? C'mon, did ya?" The unicorn will tell you the truth because it is feeling so happy and free.

"Find this 'Rainbow Dash' and go with her and Rarity to Cloud Town."

Silence fell among the group in response to Oprah's declaration.

"T-to Cloud Town?" Olive asked.

"Yes. That is Rarity's homeland."

"Um, if I may, darling..." Rarity lifted a hoof. "We live in Equestria, not in Cloud Town. But if you are allowing me to visit one of the wondrous lands you have in this world, then I am more than happy to go."

"You don't live in Cloud Town?"

Rarity shook her head. "We came here from Equestria...somehow. I certainly have never heard of Cloud Town before."

Oprah blinked. "Well, that's something I wasn't expecting."

"Neither was I." Otto agreed.

"Anyway, Cloud Town is often used as a last resort in unicorn interrogations, since it's one of the places where unicorns live. Odd Squad legend states that no unicorn can resist its charm and beauty." Oprah shrugged. "I guess we'll have to see how it works on unicorns from other worlds."

"And that means..."

"You'll have to ask Rarity, yes."

Olive groaned as Oprah waved her hand in a "shoo, fly" gesture. Rarity raised an eyebrow, and briefly wondered why Olive had to ask her when she had already agreed to go, before realizing that asking was most likely part of procedure.

Slowly, Olive walked over to the expectant unicorn. She had been dreading every second since her partner and her boss came to the door, and was dreading interacting with Rarity beyond "bad cop" interrogation even more. Nonetheless, though, it was something that had to be done -- attempting to push past both children would end with her on the losing side, with an injury or two as a mark of Oprah's incredible strength.

"Do you..."

A clench of the fist.

"DoyouwanttogotoCloudTownwithme?"

A blink from the unicorn.

"Oh my odd, I can't believe I just did that..."

And then a smile.

"Why yes, darling. I would love to go to Cloud Town with you. Provided we bring along Rainbow Dash as well, of course."

And that was how one 12-year-old girl, one full-grown unicorn, and one full-grown Pegasus found themselves up in the sky and standing on clouds. What met their vision was nothing but blue skies, multicolored rainbows, and the sun sitting high.

"There's nothing here!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, flying about as she briefly explored the area. "Did this 'Oprah' or whoever even send us to the right place?"

"Yes." Olive replied, her voice sounding strained and tired. "This is Cloud Town."

"And how exactly can I stand on these clouds without some sort of spell?" Rarity trotted in place for a moment.

"Anyone can walk on clouds here. No spells needed."

"Ooh! How marvelous!"

"Now c'mon. Follow me."

The trio began to walk (or in Rainbow's case, fly), and a couple minutes later, they began to make their way through a village where the structures were made out of clouds. The place was bustling with unicorns of all different colors, and both Rarity and Rainbow Dash were quick to note that they looked nothing like the unicorns back in Equestria. They looked...creepy, in a way they were unable to describe.

"Is...is that how ponies look in this world?" Rarity asked, very much unnerved by the sights.

"No. This is how horses look in this world. Ponies here look smaller than that." Olive pointed to a duo of unicorn fillies who were laughing and galloping past them. "See? That's what they look like."

"Eugh. I'm sure they're nice ponies...er, horses...but no thanks." Rainbow shook her head.

As they traveled through the village, Olive gave explanations to every question the two ponies threw at her, from why every building was made only out of clouds to what powers the unicorns of her world had. Each question she answered, however, didn't snap her out of her "I have to do this but that doesn't mean I have to enjoy it" mood.

"Agent Olive!"

A short while after the trio left the village, they were met by a rather tall and rather lustrous unicorn stallion who began to approach them. He certainly looked like every other unicorn in Cloud Town, as Rarity and Rainbow were quick to note, and his voice was deeper than most of the stallions they had met in Equestria.

"Your Highness." Olive took a bow, and as if on instinct, Rarity and Rainbow took bows as well.

"Oh, you brought guests!"

"Yes. This is Rarity, and this is Rainbow Dash. They come from another world called Equestria."

"Hello, darling." Rarity waved.

"Hiya." Rainbow gave an awkward smile, attempting to remain polite while also choosing to remain silent on the fact that the unicorn's mouth wasn't moving when he talked.

"Hello! I am the Unicorn King. I live here in Cloud Town!"

"Do you now?" Rarity laughed. "That is quite interesting! Do you, um, rule here?"

"Indeed I do!" the Unicorn King replied. "And as a matter of fact, one of the first decrees I ever made was giving all guests free fish and chips. Would you all like some?"

"Yes, please." Olive said.

"What are 'fish and chips'?" Rainbow asked.

"Oh? You don't have fish and chips in your world?" The Unicorn King tilted his head. "Perhaps it's better if I show you."

He began to trot away, and the trio followed suit, Rarity and Rainbow exchanging concerned glances with each other. They knew about fish, and they knew about chips, but they weren't quite sure what to make of the concept of seemingly combining them together.

The two ponies lagged behind Olive, so much so that by the time they arrived, she was sitting at the circular table with a plate of fish and chips already in front of her, and two other plates of fish and chips on the other side. She waved at them, but they felt too uneasy to wave back.

"This is fish and chips!" the Unicorn King exclaimed. "As you can see, the fish is pure breaded haddock, freshly caught. And the chips are really French fries!"

Rainbow spread her wings and glided over to one of the plates, taking a seat at the table and eyeing the food in front of her. She had to admit, it certainly smelled nice...and her stomach was beginning to growl.

"Rainbow Dash, don't you dare!" Rarity scolded, galloping her way over to the table and taking a seat next to her friend. "Allow me to do the honors. If, by some horrid chance, I end up dying, please give my regards to Twilight, Spike, and the others."

Olive rolled her eyes. "It's not gonna kill you."

Rarity disregarded her former interrogator's warning, instead using her magic to levitate the fork and knife that sat next to the plate. She cut off a thin strip of haddock and gave it a couple sniffs before sticking it in her mouth. As someone who had never eaten fish before, she was quite surprised by the warm and smooth sensation she could feel as she chewed.

"Well? How is it?" Rainbow asked.

The unicorn swallowed and blinked a couple times. "It's...good!"

"It is?" Rainbow immediately went for her fork and knife and cut off a large chunk of haddock, scooping it into her mouth. After a couple seconds of chewing, her cerise eyes widened and began to shimmer. "It ish!"

A sigh left Olive's lips as she watched the ponies happily eat their fish and chips now that they knew what it was, as she took her own piece of haddock and ate it.

"I'm glad you all are enjoying it!" the Unicorn King said. "So what brings you here?"

Olive swallowed. "Ms. O made me come here with Rarity and Rainbow Dash as part of an interrogation. Although it really seems more like a punishment for me."

"Ah, yes, now I remember. You're the agent who doesn't like unicorns very much, right?"

"Mhm."

The Unicorn King took a moment to think about how he should handle this particular guest, before he perked up. "Why don't you do me a favor?"

Olive's eyes widened. "A favor?"

"Yes. Would you mind polishing our orb of power? It's gotten a little dusty in recent days."

"Dusty? How so?" Rarity asked. "I wouldn't think such a place as this would have any dust."

"Oh, you'd be surprised." The Unicorn King chuckled. "That orb needs polishing so often, it's ridiculous! But try as I might, I haven't been able to find an alternate power source yet."

"What does it even power?" Rainbow asked.

"Everything. Think of it as our version of oil."

Rainbow didn't have a rebuttal to that, blinking as her brain tried to process exactly how an orb powered an entire town.

Olive could feel a groan rising inside of her, but stopped as she realized exactly what doing a favor for the king would entail: a wish, any wish, granted to her, and only to her. "Yes!" She nodded. "Just let me finish my fish and chips first."

"But of course. You may come find me in the throne room at my castle when you're done." The Unicorn King turned and began to walk away, and it was only then that Olive broke out one of the most mischievous and most cocky grins she had ever made.

"Darling, might I ask why you wish to do such a simplistic task as polishing an orb? I do realize he is a king, but does he not have ponies- er, um, other horses who could do that themselves?"

"You probably won't understand, but...if you do a favor for a unicorn in Cloud Town, you get a wish granted."

"Oh no. I don't like where this is goin'." Rainbow remarked.

"I do like where this is going." Olive pointed at Rarity. "I'm going to use my wish to get rid of you, and every single unicorn in my world."

"Uhh...wouldn't you use it to get rid of every single unicorn in our-" A hoof to Rainbow's mouth quickly stopped her speech, and she could only muffle in protest.

"You wouldn't!" Rarity exclaimed. "I understand you don't like unicorns, but...to get rid of all of them is just..."

"Wrong? Immoral?" Olive scoffed. "Say what you want. It won't sway me any."

"And what about Oprah? If she finds out what you've done, then-"

"I'll get fired, probably. Or, I could get away with it, since I'm one of her best agents." Olive shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me, so long as I never have to look another unicorn in the face again."

The girl quickly ate the rest of her food and dashed off. "Go and see the sights before your demise, Rarity!" she called, before she became nothing more than a speck in the distance.

"We should get outta here and find a way to tell Twilight and the others!" Rainbow started to take flight, but Rarity's magical hold on the end of her tail stopped her from going anywhere.

"No. There is a small possibility that she'll change her view." Rarity stared at the spot where Olive had gone. "I am willing to hold on to that possibility. That Unicorn King has something up his sleeve...and I trust him."

"Are you crazy, Rare?! You barely even know him! This isn't some unicorn stallion from Equestria, ya know!"

"I'm aware." Rarity released her magic grip on her friend and looked back at her barely-touched food. "Let's finish eating our fish and chips. When we do that, we can keep an eye on Olive."

Rainbow stammered as she tried to get a coherent sentence out, and even glided over to where Olive had taken off as though wanting to take off after her. After a few moments, however, a sigh escaped her mouth, and she went back to her plate of fish and chips, feeling a pit of hunger still lingering about in her stomach.

It had been about ten minutes since Olive had arrived to the throne room, and she had quickly taken notice of how murky and crusty the orb of power looked. It was a wonder that Cloud Town hadn't fallen into ruins, but she supposed the magic that made up the orb's innards weren't affected.

The Unicorn King sat on his throne proudly. "Just clean it, and clean it well."

"Okay..."

"And we can talk while you do it."

"Oh, joy." Olive didn't mean to be so sarcastic towards someone of a higher ranking than her, but she couldn't help it. Whatever Rarity had done to her, it had put a serious dour on her mood.

As she pulled a rag out from behind her back and got to rubbing the dirt and grime off, the Unicorn King cleared his throat. "I might as well get straight to the point here, Agent Olive. Why do you hate unicorns so much?"

Olive stopped rubbing.

"It's because of Alectrona, isn't it?"

She glanced at the Unicorn King.

"It is." The King sighed. "Believe me, I've read The Second to Last Unicorn many times over myself. But you are aware that she's just acting out because she's in an unfamiliar world?"

Olive had no response.

"Never mind the fact that being uncooperative is one of her personality traits in the book."

"S-so what?" Olive blurted. "She didn't need to give me a hard time."

The King sighed once more. "When you were walking through Cloud Town, what did you feel?"

"Like every unicorn would give me a hard time."

"And did they?"

"No..."

"They were just going about their daily lives, living happily and peacefully." The King smiled. "I'm sure they've taught this at the Odd Squad Academy, but unicorns are viewed in high regard by agents for their grace and beauty. Sure, there are some that commit odd crimes...but do those unicorns represent the entire population?"

Olive scoffed. "That's the same thing Rarity said."

"And does Rarity represent the entire unicorn population?"

Silence fell across the room. Olive bit her tongue and held her breath, before she responded with a resigned "No."

The King prepared to speak again.

"But! That doesn't excuse the fact that she didn't give me a hard time, Your Majesty. All Rarity had to do was answer my questions. Instead, she made the decision to make the interrogation hard on me by any and all means possible." The girl sighed. "I just...don't understand. She doesn't know me. I haven't done anything to her but what I have to do as part of Odd Squad interrogation procedure."

"Did she actually commit the crime?"

"Well...I don't know..."

"Maybe you should extend an offer of friendship towards her instead of treating her with hostility. After all, isn't friendship in Odd Squad's nature?"

Olive blinked and took a few moments to process the news before an expression of guilt fell across her face.

"Your Majesty! There's a unicorn here that requires your assistance!" called a voice from outside.

"I will be right there!" The King looked at Olive. "Reflect on my words as you're cleaning the orb. See if you change your mind."

As he left, Olive watched him go, but her vision soon became blurry from the tears that formed in her eyes. She tried to fight them back, but it was a battle she lost in a matter of seconds, and she could see the tears drip onto the clouds she was standing on. She vigorously shook her head, trying to regain some vision so she could see and finish the task she was assigned.

It didn't take her long before she had started to really cry. She was crying so hard, in fact, that she didn't notice the orb's gentle glow shining on her.

Through quite a few directional mishaps in the Unicorn King's cloud castle, Rarity and Rainbow arrived at the throne room as fast as their legs (and wings) could carry them. What met their view was a tall double-door made out of clouds.

"Um, pardon me? Mister Unicorn King?" Rarity called out.

No response.

"Maybe he's out?" Rainbow shrugged. "He probably wouldn't mind if we just went inside."

"I have to concur there."

Rarity lit up her horn, and was surprised when her magic caught the handle of the cloud door. It slowly opened, and they made their way inside.

"Rarity, look!"

The unicorn glanced at where her friend was pointing. Right in her line of sight was a human girl clad in navy and red, deathly still and laying on the ground. The orb stood on a pedestal, only partially cleaned, but glowing.

"Is that...?"

Rarity began making her way over, staring at the girl. Upon closer inspection, she realized that the girl was none other than... "Olive?"

Rainbow flew over to Olive and examined her, flying in circles around her. Rarity, on the other hoof, scanned her from the ground, and was relieved when she saw her back rising and falling.

"Darling, it's all right! She's just sleeping!" the unicorn called, making sure to keep her voice low. She sat down and turned Olive over onto her right side.

"Well, thank Celestia!" Rainbow exhaled a sigh of relief and kept her voice low as well. "But why is the orb of power glowing?"

"Who knows. But we should stay away from it, just to be sure." Rarity looked towards the throne room door. "I do hope the Unicorn King comes back soon...who knows what else this orb does besides provide a power source?"

As if on cue, the sound of hoofsteps grew closer and closer, signaling the King's return. Rarity and Rainbow turned around, their expressions filled with fear as he opened the door.

"Oh! Rarity and Rainbow Dash, was it?" the King said. "What a surprise! What are you two doing here?"

"W-well, we thought, um..."

"We wanted to check on Olive, but we found her like this!" Rainbow blurted out. "We didn't touch your orb, Your Majesty, sir, we swear!"

The Pegasus shut her eyes tight, as though expecting to be scolded.

Instead, the King let out a joyous but quiet laugh.

"I find it endearing that you two care so much about a girl you hardly know."

Rainbow opened her eyes.

"Don't worry about her. She's only sleeping." He turned towards the door. "Guards!"

Two unicorns, one cyan and one pink, entered and responded in unison, "Yes, Your Majesty?"

"Please take this girl to one of my cloud beds so she can rest."

"Of course, Your Majesty."

Olive was soon surrounded by a magical aura, her unconscious body floating past the equine trio. In a poof of magic rather than a flash, a cot made of clouds was materialized, and her body was laid to rest on it. Just as quickly as they arrived, the two guards left the room and closed the door.

"Is she gonna be okay?"

"She'll be fine."

"And what of the orb?"

"It won't affect you two, don't worry. This orb of power, while it does serve as a wonderful energy source, has more to it than you would think. One of the most recent discoveries we've made is its power to relieve others of their stress and worries." the King explained. "It's likely that my words to Olive reached her, and she became so overwhelmed with emotion that the orb put her to sleep."

"Is that supposed to happen?" Rainbow asked, feeling unnerved even in spite of the King's explanation.

"Yes. It's all according to Oprah's will."

"Oprah? How so?" Rarity tilted her head.

"She called me before and told me about the situation. We both agreed that using the orb of power to help Olive would be the best course of action."

"So all that time...you knew why we were here?"

The King nodded to Rarity.

Both the unicorn and the Pegasus shared a glance with each other, unsure of what to make of this whole situation.

"But what about cleaning the orb?" Rainbow asked.

"Oh, I could just do that myself!" Taking the orb in his hooves, the King reached down and pulled a tuft of cloud from the ground, using it as a makeshift rag to remove the dust and grime. Within a minute, it was gleaming and glowing brightly. "You see, when someone does a favor for a unicorn, they are required to grant them a wish in return. I had hoped that would be a test for Olive, to see what she would wish for."

"But Olive wanted to get rid of all the unicorns in this world! She said so herself!" Rarity cried out.

"I don't think that's what she wishes for now." The King placed a gentle hoof on Rarity's shoulder. "But as for what her wish is...we will have to see."

Rainbow and Rarity could only look at the King with worried expressions dancing on their faces, hoping that whatever the orb had done to Olive, it had worked.

Olive's eyes slowly opened to meet an orange-and-yellow sky above her, a faded rainbow gracing it with its presence. She rubbed her head and sat up in her cloud bed. "Where am I? What happened to me?"

Her question received no response, as her ears were filled with nothing but silence.

She slowly got out of bed, taking in her surroundings. Although it was hard to make out, the room she was in looked much like a bedroom, and she quickly deduced that she was somewhere in the Unicorn King's cloud castle.

"Rarity? Rainbow Dash?"

A pause.

"...Your Majesty?"

Suddenly feeling very alone, Olive rushed towards what she thought was a door and flung it open. With no signs of life still, she raced down the hallways, not caring about if she got lost. There was something bigger weighing on her mind, anyway.

As she turned another corner, she could see the sun up ahead, making its way down to earth but also seeming to guide her to where she needed to go. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her, being so focused on where she was going that she didn't seem to notice tears beginning to prick at her eyes once more.

After what seemed like hours of running, she stumbled into the throne room, taking a faceplant onto the ground.

"Darling?"

Olive's head raised, and as soon as she saw who was addressing her, with that oh-so-sweet and oh-so-silky voice, she gasped. "It's you! It's all of you!"

"Heya, kid!"

"Olive, you're awake! Wonderful to see you. How are you feeling?"

Olive got to her feet and dusted bits of cloud off of her knees. "Yeah...I'm awake. I'm feeling..." Her gaze moved from Rarity, to Rainbow Dash, to the King, and back again. "Better. Relieved, even."

"It looks like everything worked out, then."

Rainbow opened her mouth to speak after the King, but before she could get a word out, she found herself enveloped in a hug. It felt strangely warm, and she could feel her mood instantly lift.

"Thank you both."

"For what, darling?"

"Both you two and the Unicorn King helped me to realize something." Olive broke away from the hug. "Unicorns really may not be all that bad. And...I probably should have tried to befriend you instead of treating you harshly, Rarity. Even if you are the suspect in an odd crime."

"Oh, yeah, um...about that..." Rarity's ears folded down. "I was the one that did it."

"What?"

"It's just...I wanted to use my magic here, but I feared it wouldn't work. So I tried using it on a tree. And I was trying to figure out how to get the gems off of the tree..."

"I know it sounds dumb. And believe me, she was dumb." Rainbow chimed in, much to Rarity's chagrin as she gave an eyeroll. "But we really didn't mean any harm!"

"We're really sorry."

This time, it was Rarity's turn to shut her eyes and wince, preparing for Olive to yell at her. Instead of yelling, though, the girl gave a chuckle.

"I knew it. If I hadn't been so aggressive, the interrogation would have been over with much sooner." She sighed. "But I understand. You're not the first one who's done stuff like that when they enter a new world. And actual villains have done far worse."

Rarity breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank Celestia."

"Um...I'd like to extend an olive branch." Reaching behind her back, the girl pulled one out and pressed a button near the bottom that extended it outwards slightly. "Of forgiveness and friendship."

Rainbow snickered at the pun. Likewise, it got a laugh out of Rarity too, and she used her magic to grab it, a smile forming on her maw. "Gladly."

"It's always a happy ending in Cloud Town!" the Unicorn King declared.

"How corny." Rainbow smirked.

"Come on. Let's head back to Headquarters."

As the trio began to walk away, the Unicorn King gave a whinny. "Wait! Don't you want your wish granted, Olive?"

Olive turned around, her eyes widening as she suddenly remembered. "But I didn't finish cleaning your orb."

"Ah, I'm willing to bend the rules just this once." the King said. "So, what is your wish?"

It was a tough question to answer. Olive looked down at Rarity flanking her on one side, then looked up at the hovering Rainbow flanking her on the other. She took several moments to think about what she wanted -- whether to use the wish for a selfish desire or a selfless one -- before an idea formed in her head.

"Exactly how did you two get here, again?"

In a cloud of magic smoke, both Rarity and Rainbow Dash materialized in Equestria. Shortly afterwards, another pony materialized, landing on the ground with a thump.

"Wow, that Unicorn King's magic is some powerful stuff." Rainbow remarked. "We really are back home!"

"Are you all right, darling?"

"I'm fine."

From seemingly out of nowhere, Rarity magically produced a mirror so the other pony could see her reflection. What she saw wasn't her human form, but rather, it was her pony form. With her tan fur, brunette mane and tail tied into corkscrew ponytails, and her cutie mark of a red hexagonal symbol with a basketball and a baseball bat layered on top of it, she looked nearly the same, much to her surprise -- even down to the top half of the Odd Squad Investigation suit she was wearing.

"Whoa! I look...so odd!" The other pony eyed her hooves and wagged her tail, trying to get used to the weird sensations and new bodily extensions she had. Perhaps one of the most striking additions to her body was her unicorn horn, which sat proudly atop her head.

"So, Olive? This is Equestria. More specifically, this is Ponyville, our home." Rarity moved her hoof across the landscape that greeted the trio, where ponies went about their daily lives, chatting and laughing and running errands.

"A place of wonder and amazement...where long-lasting friendships are made and dreams come true?!"

Rarity chuckled. "Well, that is exaggerating it a little, but yes."

A breathy "wow" left Olive's lips, her chocolate-brown eyes shimmering as she gazed upon the new land that stood before her. She happily waved to some ponies who were walking by, her heart swelling with joy when they waved back.

"Can we go on a tour? Right now?!" she asked excitedly.

"Of course. We can take you to meet our other friends." Rarity looked up to the sky. "Just follow us!"

"Yeah, you're gonna love it here. It's awesome!"

As Rarity and Rainbow took off towards a rather large castle adorned with a huge crystal on its top, Olive watched them go for a moment. She took in the sights once more, of all the ponies and creatures and buildings, and smiled before standing up on her hind legs in an attempt to run. Naturally, she didn't get very far, and fell before she could get even a few steps in.

"Hey, wait for me!"

She got back on all four hooves and tried to run on those, but that proved to be fruitless as well, as she tripped and fell seconds later.

"Never mind! Just...I'll, uh...catch up with you!"

Sighing, she got back up once again and decided to walk the rest of the way to the castle, chuckling and shaking her head. Even in spite of her mishaps in walking and running, she felt confident that she had done a turnaround from hating unicorns and wanting them dead to befriending them. And as her reward, she had come to a world full of friendship and magic to seal the deal. She felt like a new person -- or perhaps, a new pony, now. She wanted to make all sorts of unicorn friends, even if agents ate them or treated them like criminals.

Which reminded her...she never did get to know Rarity in-depth. She was sure that pony had a lot more to her than sticking gems onto trees and causing strife for those who messed with her. Never mind the fact that Ms. O probably wouldn't be happy about her not returning to Odd Squad and facing the consequences for her crime.

But Olive thought, let her boss get mad. She was going to befriend Rarity, no matter what it took. To her, that was the biggest priority right now. Odd Squad could wait.

After all, "trying and failing to save the world is better than not trying at all", or so her boss said.

Who's to say it couldn't work for friendship, too?