I Don’t Want Anypony Else...

by Some Leech

Rating: mature
Tags: Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Porn, Sex, Fetish
Length: 6256

With his evening in shambles, Discord decides to entertain himself...

Discord's day had been wonderful. He'd spent the afternoon with Fluttershy, gone on a wonderful date, and was even about to get lucky, but then everything went straight to Tartarus. With a veterinary emergency having thrown a giraffe-sized monkey wrench into the works, he was left to dither away the rest of his evening alone - that was until he remembered he was his own best company...

Kinks Include: Self-Cest, Male on Female, Female on Male, Oral, Vaginal, Anal, Living Sex-Toys, Double Penetration, Size Difference, Extreme Size Difference, Knotting, Size Transformation, Gender Transformation, Double-Dong Depravity, Cumflation (Cum Inflation), Large Insertions, Strange Insertions, and Plenty of Chaotic Creampies

Artwork by Welost (Twitter @Weloost)

If you want to help support me, I have a Tip-Jar/Patreon HERE

Published 2022-08-24 20:20:05 UTC
Last updated 2022-08-24 20:20:05 UTC

When I think about you I touch myself...

Within his home in the endless expanse of maddening nothingness, sitting on his living room sofa, Discord glanced from his paw to his clawed hand. “Decisions decisions…”

On one hand, pun intended, his slender, taloned digits were remarkably dexterous - on the other, the soft pads and fur of his other extremity held a charm of their own. Snapping his fingers, he summoned a coin into his palm. He wasn’t typically one to let luck make choices for him, but he was too tired to care. Moments from letting chance determine how things played out, he was stricken by an idea.

Waving away the magically summoned bit, he gave a second snap. In a blinding flash, a copy of himself appeared before him. “Hold still for a moment,” he snickered.

The doppelganger paused and quirked a shaggy brow. “Why? What are you -”

Snap

As quickly as he’d appeared, looking just as perfect as himself, his clone’s appearance was altered. Full, voluptuous breasts sprouted on her chest, her hips, thighs, and backside filled out considerably, and her figure took on a deliciously feminine air. It was almost like looking at a mirror image of himself, if he’d been markedly more svelte, curvaceous, and wearing just a hint of makeup.

“Seriously,” she huffed, staring down at her more than respectable cleavage, “this is what we’re doing?”

Discord shrugged, unmoving from his seat. “I’m bored, Eris.”

“We’re almost always bored - at least when we’re not meddling,” she countered, squinting over at him.

“Exactly,” he conspiratorially hissed, pushing himself up. “What better way to meddle than to meddle with one’s self?”

She scrunched her snout and crossed her mismatched arms over her rack, squeezing her tits together as she turned her nose up at him. “That’s simply masturbatory.”

“Please,” he groaned, rolling his eyes. “We both know this discussion will go nowhere. Does it really matter how our self-consummation is classified?”

Peeking down to his groin, seeing his long, semi-rigid endowment dangling in the cool air, she felt a tingle in her nethers. “Well at least it’s not gay this time - wait, why are we even doing this?”

“Ugh - like you don’t know,” he sighed. “I was on a date with Fluttershy, things were going swimmingly, then she had to run off to tend to some sort of emergency with a giraffe.”

Bearing a smug little grin, she glanced over at you for a fleeting moment then turned her attention back to Discord. “Well excuse me for wanting a bit of exposition - anyways, what’s the plan?”

“Well I was thinking we could get a kiddie pool full of baby oil, a couple of balloon animals, and maybe a - Hey!” he bleated, thrown off balance as he was pushed back onto the sofa. “What are you -”

“Ssssssssssssssssssssh -” she hissed, stepping forward and burying his muzzle in between her bosoms, “Mama’s gonna make you feel all better.”

He glowered up at her, knitting his brow while wriggling free from her cleavage. “We are not doing a mommy kink thing. For Pete’s sake, this is already incestuous enough.”

With a snaggletoothed smirk plastered on her face, she stepped back, sank to her knees, and prized his legs apart. “Are you sure, Daddy?”

“Oh for…” he trailed off, pinching the bridge of his snout.

Having fun with himself, like most affairs in his nigh-everlasting life, was always a bit complicated. Though copies of himself were nearly as powerful as he was, retaining his memories and abilities, there was a catch; the second he produced a doppelganger, they began to diverge. Simple things like a change in perspective were enough to cause his clones to behave differently, so transmogrifying one into a female had a way of making things interesting.

He couldn’t remember the first time he’d crafted Eris, his alluring, feminine alter-ego, but he tended to save her for special occasions. The second she came into being, she was a handful - he’d know, having transformed into her on several occasions. Everything about her was just different, from the way things felt to the way she moved, but that was hardly a bad thing. Once he’d gotten used to traipsing about in a female body, along with all the delightful sensations it afforded, he’d grown quite fond of being her or having her around - sometimes both simultaneously.

“No Daddy stuff; you know it makes me feel dirty,” he insisted.

Reaching out and gliding her palm up his thigh, she snickered. “Come now, you wouldn’t want me here if you didn’t want me to give you a hard time,” she mused, her fingers inches from his package. “I got it!”

“Got what?” he asked, watching her lift her hand.

She snapped and he found himself standing at the foot of his bed. Though he was more than used to instantly teleporting himself about on a whim, having it done to him was slightly disorienting. As he blinked rapidly, his eyes adjusting to the dim light of his candle-lit chamber, a sultry giggle crept to his ear.

“Paint me like one of your french mares,” she mused, reclining and striking a pose on his bed.

Suddenly realizing he was adorned with a painter’s smock and standing in front of an easel, he pursed his lips. Unexpected shenanigans aside, regardless of how egotistical it may sound, there was no denying that she was an alluring creature. Unlike nearly every sapient race to walk Equestria, save for diamond dogs and abyssinians, her bipedal figure, supple curves, and sensual, playful tone got him far more excited than he cared to admit.

Feeling the blood rushing to his loins, he shook his head. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Nothing I wouldn’t do to you, if I had to guess,” she purred, splaying her legs to rub at her plump, slavering marehood.

He faltered and stared at her snatch. “Going for the pony option today ~ eh?”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t love the pelvic control it gives me,” she hummed, spreading her entrance to give him a peek at her juicy, pink interior.

Watching him move to and onto the bed, her eyes wandered down his chest, over his abdomen, and to his goods. His equipment, much like the rest of him, was unique; while it sported a knotted base and spear-like tip of a canine, it had the girth and medial ring of an equine - a combination of traits that felt absolutely phenomenal when they were stuffing her balmy cunt. Slipping a finger into herself, imagining all the lusciously sinful things they could do together, she extended her free hand toward his crotch.

He crawled closer, his hardening length sliding into her outstretched hand, allowing her to softly wrap her fingers around his shaft. “Care for some foreplay?” she sighed, giving his endowment a small tug.

The corners of his lips turned up, as he drew his tongue over his lips. “As a matter of fact, I was thinking the same -”

Pop

Sensing a sudden lightness on his groin, seeing her withdraw her arm, he lowered his head to peer down at himself. “You have got to be kidding me…”

“Oh hush,” she whispered, bringing his disembodied cock and balls to her face. “As if you don’t enjoy watching.”

Holding his package up to her snout, she lovingly drew her tongue over his full, furry balls and up his twitching shaft. It may have been because of her slightly altered senses, mindset, or some combination of the two, but the flavor that washed over her palate was incredible. As she rolled onto her back and guided the head of his cock into her maw, gently nursing on the sensitive bit of flesh, she stuffed a second finger into herself.

Though it would only be a matter of time until he took a more active role, his spontaneous and unpredictable nature was part of the enjoyment. He was prone to his whims, like herself, and he’d more than likely do something to her for impulsively borrowing his tool, yet that wasn’t going to stop her - if anything, it spurred her onward. Closing her eyes and pressing her face forward, she drove his shaft into her muzzle and into her gullet.

“M…Mmmph,” he hissed, sensing every bit of stimulation on his endowment.

Hearing her moan around his dick, watching her neck bulge ever so slightly from the intrusion, he swallowed hard. He loved Fluttershy with all his heart, he really did, but there was only so much a demure, mortal mare could do to sate a practically omnipotent draconequus like himself. While the sex with her was beyond reproach, elevated by the emotional bond they shared, getting downright kinky with himself, if only occasionally, was entertaining in its own right.

He remained where he was, entranced by the spectacle and sensation of the impromptu blowjob. Even though his equipment had been seamlessly detached, he could feel every little thing she did to him. It was like watching a porno made just for him, starring him while it was being filmed, which gave him an idea. Falteringly dismounting from the bed, his legs quaking, he moved over to his dresser.

Hauling his length from her snout, she gave the tip a little kiss. “Bored already?”

As he turned to face her, leveling a camera in her direction, a thrilled shiver ran up her spine. Putting on a show for him was one thing, but there was something about being filmed that really got her motor running. Placing her draconic foot and hoof on the bed, she lewdly splayed her legs, arched her back, and humped into her hand.

“You’re just so big,” she cooed, rubbing his length over her cheek while winking over at him.

In spite of his twitching hips, he did what he could to hold the camera steady. As with most relationships he’d heard about, he couldn’t always get what he wanted with his bashful little buttery mare - as such, having a bit of inspiration on hand for those cold, lonely nights certainly couldn’t hurt anything. Training the lens from her sex to her face, just as she practically inhaled his cock, he surreptitiously pressed two fingers together behind his back.

The moment she plunged him into her esophagus, forcing the bulbous root of his dick past her full, pouting lips, he snapped. In an instant, his endowment nearly doubled in size, locking itself within her muzzle and stretching her airway. He would have felt bad for doing something so underhanded, seeing and hearing her suddenly gag and quiver, had she not been fingering herself so feverishly.

He lowered one arm and pawed at his groin, scowling when he remembered where his package had gone off to. As staggeringly arousing as it was to experience a remote blowjob, it was almost criminal that he couldn’t crank one out while enjoying it - a problem he had every intention of addressing. Summoning his power once again, giving only the tiniest of snaps, he manifested a new set of dangly bits for himself, grabbed his dick, and started stroking off.

The sight of her getting off to quite literally choking on him was phenomenal, not for the least of which reasons being he could clearly see the imprint of his cock lodged in her neck. Handling the lack of air with startling ease, she undulated on the bed while pushing on the flat, featureless base of his package in her grasp. Her swaying breasts, drooling snatch, and stifled groans of delight fanned the flames of his burning lust, helping him forget all about the unfortunate turn of events after his interrupted date.

Seconds after cramming a third digit into her winking marehood, she stopped dead in her tracks, hauled his shaft from her snout, and grimaced. “You can’t have two, that’s not fair!”

“I most certainly can have two,” he insisted. “Don’t ruin the scene! We were just getting to the good stuff!”

“The good stuff?” she mockingly parroted, setting his dong on the nightstand. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she slowly stood, lifted her hand, and licked her fingers clean as she sauntered over to him. “Oh that wasn’t the good stuff.”

A perplexed look crossed his face, while she lifted the camera from his grip. Sweet, merciful Celestia - despite having effectively spoiled his pornographic productive pursuits, the full brunt of her carnality was staggering. Completely unsure as to what she was planning, knowing she could or possibly would do anything to him, he was caught off guard when she grabbed his shoulders, spun him around, and flung him onto the mattress with a resounding POMF.

As he pushed himself up on his elbows, seeing her walk up to stand beside his shoulders, he gulped. “W…what are we gonna do on the bed?”

She conceitedly chuckled to herself, swinging a leg up and over his face. “What you wanted to do - giving us a bit of relief…”

To hammer her point home, she lowered her waist and ground her meaty folds against his lips. He’d always been a bit of a chatterbox, sometimes inappropriately so, but that didn’t mean his mouth couldn’t be put to better use. Glancing to the side, ensuring the camera levitated at an angle to capture the hedonistic ouroboros she’d ensnared him in, she opened her maw, leaned in, and wrapped her lips around the tip of his length.

Discord was quick to reciprocate, grabbing her ample hips as he drove his tongue into her - then again, she figured he would be. Given how worked up they were, if only because they were in the presence of one another, delaying the inevitable exchange seemed almost silly. As she slowly bobbed and torqued her head, relishing his affection, he lovingly probed her depths.

“Raspberry,” he remarked, momentarily withdrawing to lick his lips, “an exquisite choice.”

“Thanks,” she replied, pulling back while fondling his balls, “I knew you’d like it.”

Keen on getting back to what they’d started, the pair concluded their brief aside to set upon each other’s naughty bits. Engaging in mutual oral with someone was fun, but engaging in mutual oral with yourself was a heavenly experience. Discord and Eris knew one another inside and out, both literally and figuratively, so each knew how to best please the other.

Fully extending her long, sinuous neck, keeping his shaft within her muzzle, she twisted her head around to work the underside of his length. Aside from giving her access to the most sensitive portions of his tool, the move allowed her to peer up his body while he ate her pussy - a small joy he’d be unable to appreciate. No matter how powerful he was, the only thing he’d be seeing for the time being was her doughy ass and taut pair of holes.

Closing his eyes and ramming his head forward, he tickled her cervix with the forked tip of his tongue. Her every facet was captivating, from the way her soft hide yielded under his fingers to the sweet, slightly musky scent of her arousal, and it was impossible not to get excited by her feminine wiles - on the other hand, he may have been slightly biased. As she rocked back against him, smearing his countenance with her juices, he braced his legs and thrust into her snout.

The natural, unaltered size of his cock was the perfect to knot-fuck her face, setting his nerves alight each time the fat base of his length popped in and out of her maw, yet he was hardly going to have all the fun. Dipping his head the tiniest bit, he suckled on her clit and was rewarded with a muffled moan. She could have easily given herself a draconic cloaca, a canine muff, or the snatch of any creature on Equestria, but she knew he had a fondness for pony anatomy.

“Right there,” she mewled, doing her best to entomb his muzzle in her depths.

Moving harder and faster with every passing minute, countering her zeal with passion of his own, he only eventually slowed. He had little doubt that she wanted to move on as badly as he did, although he’d rather not concede and ask to switch things up. As he slipped his hands up her body and to her slender waist, feeling how slim she was, inspiration seized him.

With little more than a snap of his fingers, he held her in one hand. Reduced to the size of a large garter snake, twisting indignantly in his clutches, she whipped around and stared daggers at him - that was until he effortlessly moved her to his groin. His shaft was nearly as big as she was, almost half the length of her body and nearly as big around, which brought a twisted smirk to his lips.

Her head turned back and forth, looking between his comparably monstrous tool and his face, and she gulped. “Please tell me you’re going to -”

“Use you like a cheap sex-toy?” he concluded, raising her and nudging the tip of his dick to her diminutive entrance.

She gnawed her lip in barely kept anticipation, as she peered down at the behemoth kissing her groin. “Just let me waaaAAA - Oh F*CK!”

It took everything she had to keep her eyes from rolling to the back of her head, while he forced her down and impaled her on his cock. Her form contorted, bones and flesh stretching to accommodate the gargantuan insertion, yet there wasn’t the slightest trace of pain or discomfort - on the contrary, the raw, intense sensations felt nothing but divine. Pawing at her chest, tweaking and lightly tugging on her teats, she watched in awe as the titanic swell moved up her body.

“And there we go,” he whispered, only stopping when she was resting on his knot. “How’s that?”

“W…wha…” she sputtered, finding it nearly impossible to think, let alone breathe.

“No complaints?” he quipped, his thumb and index finger beneath her arms. “Well then, if that’s the case, do try to enjoy yourself.”

Slowly, almost carefully, she was raised and nearly freed from his length, before she was slammed down again. Her second plunge was followed by a third, then a fourth and a fifth, until he was making good on his promise - screwing her like she was a living, breathing, squealing fleshlight™. As much as she would have enjoyed keeping her head lowered to enjoy the show, being able to see him rearranging her insides, there was only so much stimulation she could endure.

Being rutted was fantastic, no matter which position it was in, but the sensation of housing a dick nearly as big as her entire body was astonishing - nearly too amazing to describe. There would be no possible way a mortal could ever experience such a thing without the use of powerful magic or the most potent potions - even then she wasn’t sure their minds could handle the magnitude of something so absurdly depraved. Each thrust sent bolts of unfettered pleasure through her, sapping her of her strength and fogging her mind, while she rag-dolled in his grasp.

Discord gradually increased his speed, his impulses seizing the wheel. Judging from the way she was drooling all over herself, whimpering uncontrollably, and the blissful expression in her glazed-over eyes, she was either lulling him into a false sense of security or seconds from crossing the threshold, although she wasn’t the only one about to peak. Between turning the tables on her and the way she clung to his length, her stuffed canal spasming and twitching around him, he wasn’t going to last much longer than she was.

Bucking his hips while forcing her downward, he set his jaw. It wasn’t like it mattered who climaxed first, seeing as there was no rush and that they had all night to go for another round or jester’s dozen, yet he always tried to hold himself back. As he teetered on the brink, fighting tooth and nail to restrain himself, her shrill, rapturous howl and gushing, climactic nectar pushed him past the point of no return.

Hilting her against his knot, he came. While his load was no more prolific than normal, the influx of thick seed immediately caused her body to swell and balloon outward. Staring down at her, snorting and holding her tightly to the throbbing root of his tool, he took no small amount of enjoyment from filling her. It was only when his ecstasy began to subside, replaced by a warm, post-orgasmic euphoria, did he pull her off and paint her torso with the final shot of his load.

“D…don’t worry,” he playfully rasped, wiping sweat from his forehead, “you’ll be good as new in no time…”

Eris wriggled from his grip and landed on his abdomen, barely managing to keep her legs under herself. She felt fantastic - no, better than fantastic, but she wasn’t about to suffer the ignominy of being his plaything. Glazed and positively brimming with his foal batter, looking spectacularly gravid, she turned a baleful eye up at him.

“You think y…you’re - Cough - so funny…” she grumbled.

“You’re so cute when you’re grumpy,” he tittered, rubbing her cheek with a finger. “Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it.”

Locking eyes with him, she snapped her fingers and appeared beside the bed in her pristine, originally sized state. “First of all, even if I enjoyed it, that was hardly called for - secondly, let’s see how you like it…”

His eyes widened in surprise, having some vague notion of what she was alluding to, but it was too late. Faster than he could react, he shrank down to the size of an action figure and was snatched up in her hand. Peeking up at her, seeing her guiding him between her meaty thighs, he was brought to her massive, slickened entrance.

As he lifted a hand and pressed his thumb and middle fingers together, intent on making his escape, she snapped again. He gasped, staring in disbelief at the quintet of finger traps on his digits, while he was plunged head first into her moist, succulent confines. Surrounded by her hot, velvety canal, sensing himself being drawn deeper, he grimaced - not because he was distressed in the slightest, but because he should have predicted she’d do something so wildly salacious.

“Not sure if you can hear me,” she snickered, walking to and seating herself on the bedside, “but how about you get comfortable in there.”

Easing herself onto the mattress, relishing the sensation of him wriggling inside of her, she closed her eyes and contentedly sighed. He was almost perfectly sized to serve as a marital aid, hitting the goldilocks zone of length and girth with near pinpoint accuracy, and the physical pleasure of having him writhe in her depths was elevated by the gratification of giving him his just deserts. As she shifted her arms, teasing a nipple with one hand while rubbing her clit with the other, she clamped her thighs together to keep him right where he was.

Simultaneously annoyed and aroused by the sudden turn of events, Discord tried and failed to free his fingers - alas, having had the forethought to make the traps exceptionally durable, it was a lost cause. The good news was that he was in no real peril, having no need to breathe - the bad news was, given his erection, he liked her revenge more than he cared to admit. Twisting in place and getting his bearings, he wormed his way just the slightest bit deeper.

If his guess was right, and he desperately hoped it was, he’d find what he was looking for in no time flat. If she thought she was going to torment him in such a bizarrely erotic way, she had another thing coming. He prayed he was oriented in the proper direction, as he moved his hands behind his head and thrust his hips with as much force as he could muster.

A wave of pleasure radiated from her nethers, making Eris shudder and peer down at her abdomen in disbelief. Darned if she knew how he’d done it, but he’d somehow managed to locate her elusive g-spot. Thinking fast, not wanting to let a good opportunity go to waste, she reached up, grabbed a pillow from beneath the headboard, and scrambled to her knees. If humping at her innards was his petty version of payback, that suited her just fine.

The world shifted around him, feeling himself go from a horizontal to roughly vertical orientation, but that didn’t stop him from thrusting away like it was the last day of his life. As much as it pained him to admit it, plowing her from the inside was far, far more fun than he would have ever guessed. Sweltering and slick, contracting around him and smearing him with her juices, her silken canal embraced him like a warm, only slightly lovecraftian blanket.

They’d done all sorts of wild stuff over the eons, from transforming themselves into all sorts of creatures to attempting to screw in orbit, an endeavor that ended in nothing but chafing and a nasty sinus infection, yet they still managed to break new ground while fooling around. Making himself as comfortable as his slippery surroundings would allow, he pressed his face to her inner wall and gave it a long, sensual lick. She tasted as wonderful as ever, like a mixture of fresh berries with just the slightest hint of vanilla, yet that was only one element to the assault on his senses.

As unbelievable as it may have sounded, being inside her somehow magnified the erotic factor by an order of magnitude. He could feel her heartbeat, hear her throaty groans, the flavor of her nectar filled his mouth, and her scent was overpowering. Continuing to buck his hips, sending his cock gliding over the slippery folds of her canal, he lapped at her interior and gulped down her cloying, piquant juices.

Her fingers sailed across her clit, as she hissed under her breath. Having a draconequus entombed in her cunt had no right to feel as wonderful as it did. If she’d had any way of guessing cramming him inside herself would be as stimulating as it was, she would have done so millennia ago - nevertheless, awestruck by just how darn pleasant the experience was, she made a mental note to experiment with the endeavor in the future. Clenching her marehood, she bucked at the air while furiously masturbating.

Of his own volition, likely a split second before she’d sent him spelunking into her marehood, he’d removed even the slightest chance of causing her discomfort. She could still feel his horns and claws, but they felt like he’d turned them into rubber or silicone, making them actually quite pleasant against her sensitive depths. While she’d freely admit that the activity was on the more bizarre side, but immeasurably pleased with the eccentric activity, it was heartwarming that he was thinking about her.

By all the insanity-inducing powers of the cosmos, she hadn’t rebounded from a climax so quickly since - well, she couldn’t remember ever rebounding from a climax so quickly before! The breath hitched in her throat, her heart thundered in her bosom, and a tremble crept into her thighs, as she neared release. If her pint-sized paramour wasn’t wet before, he was moments from being utterly doused.

Feeling her quake, the claustrophobic confines around him quivering and fitfully squeezing him, Discord pushed her to her limit. The way he saw it, one of two things was about to happen - either she was about to sneeze or he was about to be in for one heck of a flume ride. Perilously close to cumming himself, he mercilessly hammered away at her g-spot with his mighty, minuscule member until things came to a head. A deafening roar was the only warning he had, before he was hit with a tsunami of juices.

Be it from serendipity or simple good timing, he blew his load when her climax struck. Nearly convulsing as he was propelled out of her snatch, landing atop the very damp bedspread, his mind reeled. The amorous adventure left him speechless and staring up at the ceiling, gasping for fresh air and more than a little disoriented. Vaguely aware of her moving beside him, he watched as her face came into view.

“Have fun in there?” she croaked.

Getting his wobbly legs beneath himself, Discord snapped and appeared standing beside the bed. Though he’d cleaned and dried himself off, the toll of going two rounds in rapid succession weighed upon him and, given Eris’ sweat-streaked, somewhat weary expression, his counterpart as well. Lifting a hand and extending a finger, he cleared his throat.

“Care for a timeout?” he asked, tapping his mismatched hands together in a T.

She nodded, snapping and producing two bottles of cold, perspiring sports drink for them. “I was thinking the same thing.”

As she languidly slid to the side, making room for him on the mattress, she sipped the fruity beverage. He joined her moments later, seating himself on the side of the bed while catching his breath. Though neither said a word, quietly recuperating and rallying their strength, their eyes played over one another. They both knew things were far from over, yet there was some question on whom would strike first.

“That little trick with shrinking me,” he snickered, grinning over at her, “I have to admit, that was pretty clever.”

She chuckled and lowered her bottle, flicking a bang of hair from her face. “Not as clever as that time you turned into a timberwolf and knotted me. I wasn’t sure what I should be more worried about - getting splinters or having a litter of pups pumped into me!”

They laughed, each recalling the occasion, and sipped from their drinks. If there was one common trait to each of their trysts, it was the playful and oftentimes competitive element of surprise. Being virtually equals, they’d taken to trying to one-up one another, usually mid-coitus or at similarly compromising times, and it was a game they’d gotten quite good at over the years. They were two parts of a whole, yin and yang, and there wasn’t a creature in Equestria who could rival their ribald rivalry.

“Lay down,” she instructed, capping and flinging her emptied bottle off to the side.

Discord balked, finishing off his own drink. “You lay down!” he petulantly countered.

Biting back a smile, she shrugged, threw herself back, and invitingly spread her legs. “If you insist…”

Standing and walking to the foot of the bed, he crawled onto the mattress. Their proportions were nearly identical, though he was just a hair taller than she was, allowing their faces to meet while his reinvigorated erection glided against her sopping-wet entrance. One of, if not the best things about their little romps was that he was always left absolutely spent and satisfied.

He leaned in and closed his eyes, pursing his lips for a kiss, giving her just the opening she’d been waiting for. Coiling her torso around him, while simultaneously snapping her legs around his waist, she sheathed his length and threw her weight to the side. As their tails entwined, their bodies effectively locked together, he chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“That’s playing dirty,” he murmured, lacing his fingers with hers.

“I know,” she smoothly replied, gyrating against him, “just like you love it.”

Shooting forward, he locked lips with her and drove his tongue into her muzzle. Even with all the power they wielded, being able to bend reality to their will, there was something special about making love in a conventional way. With one hand on her back, and the other clutching the back of her head, he began pumping his hips.

She joined him seconds later, bucking into him to meet his thrusts. The way his knot teased her, pressing against her entrance with each plunge of his length, was as titillating as it was torturous. Flexing her legs and synchronizing her movements to his, her clawed digits playing over his back, she moaned.

As much as she loved wielding a cock, she could make a strong argument for why having a pussy was better. The sensation of being filled, his heat radiating through her, feeling every ridge and vein along his shaft - they were all simply to die for. Breaking their kiss and draping her head over his shoulder, giving him just enough room to rut her properly, she opened her eyes and froze.

“Discord,” she whispered, patting his arm, “stop for a second.”

He reluctantly drew to a halt, rearing back to look at her face. “Why? Don’t tell me you want me to turn into an ursa major again…”

“No, not that,” she muttered, wriggling to the side and extending her arm. “Here, put this on.”

“Put what…” he fell silent, seeing her retrieve his dick from the nightstand. “Oh that’s kinky…”

Resting on his knees, he unsheathed himself from her snatch, delicately took his member from her and brought it to his crotch. He definitely hadn’t planned on performing a solo double-penetration act, but the idea was simply too perfect to pass up. As he equipped the second length to himself, having sorcerously whisked away the redundant set of balls, he smirked.

“And here we go,” he hummed, adjusting himself and plunging his twin tools into her.

A guttural, wholly unbecoming groan escaped her, as her ass and cunt were simultaneously stuffed. The larger of his two dicks ground into her cunt, while the smaller filled her ass. Either one would have been fantastic by itself, but accommodating both at the same time elevated her bliss to an entirely different level. Kissing her way up his neck and jaw, bringing her snout to the side of his head, she gently nibbled his ear.

Repaying her affection by softly biting her neck, he started plowing her like a field in spring. The bed creaked beneath them, the air was thick with the smell of sex, and her sinful whimpers were like a siren’s song, igniting his passion like few ever could. As he wrapped his upper half around her, licking the sweat from her hide, his thoughts ran wild.

There weren’t many who could say they’d could make love to themself, and fewer still who’d actually done the deed, and he felt a pang of sympathy for those who missed out on having such an experience. He and Eris were well aware of how to push one another’s buttons, and they held nothing back. Writhing around one another, their movements growing more heated with each passing second, they rolled off the bed and onto the floor.

Harder and harder, faster and faster, their desires reduced them to little more than a pair of wild, rut-crazed beasts, while they struggled for dominance. Eris would wrestle him beneath herself, pounding her ass on him for minutes on end, before he flipped her over and railed her into the floor. It didn’t truly matter what position they were in, but the struggle was part of the fun.

“D…don’t stop,” she growled, her talons biting into his upper back.

Hissing through gritted teeth, he screwed his eyes shut. “Y…you neither…”

It was a race to the finish between them, each holding themselves back for as long as they possibly could, until they could bear it no longer. With a triumphant groan, his eyes rolling back, he knotted her marehood and backdoor. His cocks swelled and pulsed in tune with his heart, locking themselves in her holes and disgorging his essence within her, while the gates of nirvana opened for him.

Eris followed suit a heartbeat later, braying to the heavens as she thrashed and bathed his loins in her orgasmic juices. She could practically imagine his potent seed surging into her foal factory in search of a fertile egg, and the thought of him somehow knocking her up gave her the strongest climax of the evening. Staving off the warm embrace of nothingness, forcing herself to stay conscious, she went limp.

Trapped in her clutches, his cocks stuck in her depths, Discord collapsed atop her. He was beyond exhausted, wanting nothing more than to clean himself up and crawl into bed, but that would have to wait for a little longer. Though he could have snapped and dismissed Eris, effectively reabsorbing her personality, he’d long ago developed an etiquette for such things.

“Was it as good for you as it was for me?” he weakly inquired, smiling down at her.

With blurry, unfocused eyes, she shudderingly lifted her head and nodded. “Y…yeah. We really need to do this with Fluttershy sometime.”

“I could certainly broach the subject with her,” he mused, running his cheek against her.

Summoning his strength, he pushed himself up and stumbled toward his bathroom while carrying her. Cleaning them with magic would be easy enough, but he saw no point in it. A shower together would be the perfect way to savor the remainder of their afternoon, help them relax, and allow them to conspire on possible ways to get their favorite, timid, buttery mare involved with their next little fling…