"See ya later Star! Have fun with the girls!" And then Elfilis shut the doors to the throne room, taking Celestia with him and leaving Star Vision with six mares and a baby dragon. Five of whom he had in cages very recently.

Welp, I'm fucked.

Perhaps predictably, it was the one pony he hadn't been able to catch that approached him first. He gulped as she approached with a wide smile on her face.

It's okay! I can do this! She's going to approach, she's going to introduce herself or say it's nice to meet me-

"You knew Starswirl the Bearded!?"

Fuck, the laser unicorn is in my face. But hey! We practiced our response to this question in the Dream! I'm not supposed to talk about the bastard, so I'll just awkwardly rub the back of my head and say-

"Yep. He was my teacher."

I am actively sabotaging myself. There is no other explanation.

"That's amazing! You must know so much about magic then! We should compare notes sometime. I have copies of Starswirls later works, but they aren't in great condition. To say nothing of his earlier journals and experiments, those are practically lost to time. But you are from that time! Oh my gosh this is so exciting! AAAAAH!" The unicorn did a little happy dance as her voice peaked.

Oh no, she's cute. Okay, this is fine, this is salvagable. Just move the conversation somewhere else. Compliment her mane or something, mares like that right? Just don't say what you're actually thinking, like-

"That was sexy. You sounded like you had an orgasm."

"... Bwuh?" Star Vision felt warm as his whole body blushed. The rainbow pegasus and the rough-looking earth pony were giggling, but he was mostly looking at the poor unicorn who was so shocked she didn't even notice her miniature dragon wheezing on the floor next to her.

It's been too long since I had Kirin honesty. You just had to shag a dragon, didn't you mom?

Me and Celestia had to walk away from the doors, the ponies on the other side would hear our repressed giggling and cackling otherwise. The solar sister seemed like she could barely catch her breath.

"Oh mercy! It's been too long since I've seen another pony talk to a Kirin. I forgot they were like that!"

"Like what? Shamelessly flirty? Fuck, that's too much. I didn't talk to him much but that was not the impression I got from him." She huffed out another laugh before we stopped walking, turning to eachother in the middle of the hall.

"Not quite. Kirin are, or were, well known for their honesty. And bluntness." Uh oh.

"They were? That past-tense doesn't mean I just resurrected an extinct species, does it?"

"Oh no, nothing like that. Though..." She looked thoughtfully at an arbitrary point somewhere on my left. Very much in her own head. "Star Vision might be one of the only few Pure Kirin, if not the only one."

"I appreciate that you say all these things like I know what they are."

"Oh shush, like you don't say vague or ambiguous crap all the time." Alright, I gave that point to Celestia. "The first Kirin were born of both mare and drake, male dragons, and for some reason this always resulted in the scaled unicorn appearance they have." I thought back to what Star Vision looked like. Light blue coat like Dash had, massively-puffy white mane and tail with brown scales at the base of them. Big green eyes and a dark brown horn jutting from his head, like someone took a young tree branch and glued it to him. I guess he did look like a unicorn wearing a dragon costume. "Unfortunately, Dragon-Pony relations aren't what they used to be. Kirin today are descendents of other Kirin, and... well..."

"...Is it worse than a changeling invasion or Canterlot being turned upside-down by a chaotic entity?" The look I got was unnamused, but she accepted my point regardless.

"No, I suppose not. They suffer from some kind of curse. Kirin are naturally, very brutally honest. Even I know that discretion is sometimes the better part of valor, but they are truthful to a fault. This means that tempers are often tested, but they would normally solve their disputes civilly... or by fucking but-" Okay, no. It was whispered, but Celestia definitely meant for me to hear that. I could see it in her eyes. "-Kirin today have taken an oath of silence, to prevent their anger-induced transformation into a monster called a Nirik. We-"

"That's just Kirin backwards isn't it? I don't know how to spell either word, but I'm pretty sure someone just got lazy there."

"... We don't know why Kirin descendents have the capability to turn into Nuerik, but we can't exactly ask them their thoughts on it anymore. They have become rather isolated."

"Oh I could just hear the extra vowels that time."

"I don't know what you are blabbering about. Go find your Lovebug already, you're supposed to be teasing her." She quickly trotted off, likely to escape my vastly superior intellect.

...Damn, I really am tired.

"Carina? You still sleeping?" I only had the door to our room cracked, but it was enough to see her sit up and throw her blanket off of her. Her eyes were still sealed shut and she had bags under her eyes... somehow. Chitin isn't supposed to do that, probably. "Hey. You crashed after all the excitement was all over?"

"Mmmmmm... Kinda. I woke up super early. 'Discord-You' was in the bed with me instead of 'You-You.' It woke me up. And then I kicked him in the throat. I went for his dick too. But then he turned into Discord and put me in a cage. I broke out of it and punched his face. He put me in a better cage. And now I am tired."

"...Oh." That was not what Discord's memories told me was going to do to distract her. "Well. It's late enough now we could probably get some lunch."

"Everything will be closed right now. Just get over here. Lay with me. Fondle me or something." I decided not to point out that we could get lunch outside of Canterlot and come back thanks to my portals. I could read the signs. Carina wanted the real me in bed with her, I could wait to have a meal. I stepped inside and carefully floated my way to her side. It took some maneuvering, what with a large half-alseep partner not wanting cooperate, but I finally got her into my arms and wrapped the both of us in my furry wings. I looked down at her as best I could, being big spoon was hard when she wasn't disguised, and contemplated what to say.

I never got to tell her about Chrysalis. About how I almost killed her sister. Purposely. I had already admitted to the same crime involving her mom, but that didn't mean her forgiveness would extend-

"You're not fondling me. Grab a teat."

"...I don't think that would be appropriate for what I want to talk to you about."

"Mmmm. Luna confessed her undying love. Big deal. We can organise an orgy later." God damn it Carina.

"That's not what happened Carina, I-?"

"She just jumped straight to dick-sucking huh? Oh well."

"Carina, Luna didn't-"

"What, did you turn her down? Puusssy."

"... You already know I almost killed Chrysalis, didn't you?"

"Oh yeah. Big time. Now pinch my nipples or something, it's been awhile and it's the perfect way to unwind."

"We're in a royal guestroom."

"Kinky."

"You're incorrigible."

"I don't know what that means. Maybe massaging my mammaries will milk it from my maze of memories." I just sighed and tucked my face into the crook of her neck. It was good to feel some sense of normalcy again. "... Elfilis you fuckin tease- Ah! Dick! I said massage, not maim!"

Everything as it should be.

"... Alright, I'll bite. Why Luna?"

"She's literally the mare of your dreams. Mmf... Any day now she's going to share her pootang, and when she does-"

"Her what?"

Luna peeked one eye open as the door to her room opened, though she closed it again when she saw it just her sister. She moaned and dragged her blanket up over horn, ignoring Celestia's quiet chuckles.

"Go away. I'm sleeping."

"That's okay, I'll just talk while you listen."

"Blegh."

"Quite. I just want to say that I am glad you are alright, dark spell notwithstanding, and I am proud of you for your part in freeing Star Vision."

"I didn't even do anything. I just talked at him and he used me as a soundboard. He's the one who figured out the whole Dark Matter possession bullshit."

"You say that like he himself actually has any idea of how it works. I'm sure your input was far more important than you realize." Luna just huffed and puffed the sheets covering her face, but she didn't argue. "I am also appreciative of your discretion revolving Starswirls-"

"May his lips be forever sealed, for if they are not I will sew them shut myself with the ratty remains of his beard."

"...Involvement. I know you feel much more strongly about it than I do, but you asked Elfilis to keep silent about it as well. So thank you."

"Did he put on a show like he said he was going too?"

"Oh yeah. It worked too. The girls were very thoroughly distracted. Between Elfilis's performance, the shocking knowledge he shared, and Star Vision's entrance, nopony even noticed that me and Elfilis having our silent exchange."

"Figures. You and him are both too showy. He could have just waited until I woke up and told you, or at least until the Elements weren't in the same room."

"You are the last pony I thought would complain about showmanship. Remember-"

"Nope."

"Ha! Not even going to let me finish? It could have been a good memory."

"Still no. I made this bed and now I shall lie in it."

"The staff made the bed."

"They did so as an extension of myself."

"Well, then I'll be sure to-"

"Tia..." Celestia's smirk fell off her face. She recognized the softer tone for what it was.

"Yes Lulu?" Silence would have filled the room were it not for Luna's breath pushing through the blanket.

"... Blueblood calls us auntie. Is he really our nephew?"

"... Technically? His great-great-great grandmother married into the family. Nice mare, but she spoiled her foals rotten once she was given access to the treasury. Blueblood is actually rather palataple compared to his father. Why...?"

"Because that means you met somepony. And had foals. At least the one."

"... Yes. I had thought that our alicornhood would be inherited, but... I'm sure you know how that went."

"...I'm sorry. Not just for reminding you, but also that I couldn't be there."

"You have nothing to be sorry for dear sister."

"... Who... How did you meet?"

"Pffft. Well. Records have his name listed as Sundial, but, uh. His real name was... R-Rump Pumper. A-and-"

"Tia... what the fuck?" Nervous giggling was her only answer.

"It's not what it sounds like! Really! One day he came to court to file a complaint, and he was introduced to the room as Rump Pumper. He had all kinds of complaints about how different nobles were trying to destroy his business. Paying to have his very few commercial attempts kept out of the papers and stuff like that. I said, and I quote, 'Brothels aren't exactly what Canterlot wants to be known for. Outside of outright attacking you or denying ponies access, the nobles had not yet broken any laws.' He looked me in the eyes and yelled, 'What the fffffuck do brothels have to do with being a proctologist!' Oh I was in tears! Between him and the shocked faces of all the other ponies, I just couldn't help but laugh. It's a memory I'm rather fond of. We would always laugh at how we first met. Always..." The love in Celestia's voice was as obvious as it was somber.

"What's a proctologist?"

"A butt doctor."

"Uhrg... Fine, but how did you know he was, you know, the one?"

"... Luna. There is no 'one' for us. He was the first and last stallion I birthed the foals of, but we are eternal. We... it hurts, but it hurts even more to deny ourselves the warmth of a lover."

"... But, if the 'one' is Elfilis?"

"... I... Huh."

"I know, okay! Herds aren't a thing anymore but-!" Luna was interupted by her sisters cackling. It was just beginning to die down when she pulled the sheet off her horn roughly, tearing it. Her glare sent Celestia further into her fit of mirth. "I'm serious!"

"No- HAha! I know! I'm sorry! I just, feel a little silly is all. For not seeing it earlier." Luna just flopped her head back against the pillow and groaned. After a moment of contemplation, she sat back up to look at the smirk on her sisters face. Then she groaned and threw herself back again while throwing her hooves out to the sides. "Oh, Lulu! It's okay!"

"It would have been okay a thousand years ago! Now-"

"Herds haven't just up and disappeared Luna, they are just much less common. I'm happy you're finally thinking about romance. Just remember that you're supposed to ask the mares in the herd first-"

"Ugh, it's not Carina I'm worried about. She has naughty dreams about you and me once a week."

"I didn't need to know that."

"It's Elfilis I don't know how to approach. I know it's dumb, but I wish he would have a normal dream for once so I could see if he's at least curious. He doesn't understand subtle flirting. I've battled him so often, and have presented myself as the prize many times-!" Celestia flopped bonelessly onto the floor.

"HAHAHAHA! OH! Fuck! Mercy!"

"What!? What's so funny!"

"Oh! Mother forgive me! Luna, you spent far too long at Griffonstone! Ponies don't flirt by combat. Oh my gosh... I'm actually crying Luna. Today has been far longer than it had any right to be... Snrk! Hahaha!"

"I didn't even say anything!"

Author's Note

When the battles over and the dust settles... A lot of people just start thinking about sex. As someone who hasn't gone to war or fought for my life, I don't get it. Apparently coming down from adrenaline can feel like the big horny.

Hope you all like Star Vision.