Can you stop being a baby about this? Just stop ramming your face into the barrier between dimensions and just listen to what I have to say?

"Fuck off!" I didn't care how nicely he wanted to explain himself, I just wanted to rip him out of my head and return to my life. I refused to listen to this... whatever he was try to make excuses for why he has been manipulating my thoughts and feeling. I made my choices. No one else.

Yes, that's the point. For you to live your life and to-

"I said fuck off!" As it stood though, I was effectively trapped in my own dream space. The dickhead had usurped my control of my powers one by one as I tried to do... something. Anything to get him out of my head. I... I couldn't tell if my confusion was because of my panic or if the voice was manipulating me further. How was jumping worlds supposed to help? When Discord was running backseat in my head I had gotten rid of him by expending all my Dream Matter, effectively shrinking the size of my mental world until it crushed him.

That was quite brutal by the way. And I had to do a lot of work to make sure you didn't get more of the pseudo-spirit's memories than the little bit that slipped through my fingers.

The problem, with that idea was that this being had been there during that time and had somehow survived being crushed or ejected or deleted or whatever should have happened when the space you exist in ceases to exist. I must of panicked when I realized this, but-

But what else were you supposed to do, right? Can you entertain, for just a second, the notion that ideas like that are a part of the reason why I kept myself hidden?

"It'll be entertaining to rip you to shreds!"

...

... What...?

... You hear that? The blood rushing through your veins? The heat of your life burning as it pushes up to the surface with every crushing beat of your heart? The spike of adrenaline as it floods the channels in your brain? There is nothing in your world to hear except for the sounds you yourself make. The creak of your teeth, the rubbing of muscle against muscle, the groaning of your bones under your own weight. You are the source of everything you can hear in this space.

I am not an exemption to this rule.

"Don't give me that bullshit. I'm not falling for some cliché 'we are the same' speech! I am-"

Oh hey, an opening. What makes it cliché? Can you give me some examples? Where else have you heard such speeches?

"Stop interrupting me!"

Stop dancing around the question.

"I am not-" I never got to defend myself from his accusation.

Ǎ̷̜n̷̺̋s̷̲̆w̷̆͜è̴͇r̷̗̾ ̶̃ͅt̵͓̿h̸̼̀ḛ̸͒ ̴͇̈́q̶͚̈́ū̷̥e̵͓͌s̴̜̄ṭ̵̀i̶͕̊o̷̩̊ṇ̴̛!̴̨̃

"I... can't..." I tried to close my mouth, to try to stop the word spilling out of my mouth., but whatever the voice just did turned its order into an absolute demand. "I... don't remember. I can't recall any other instance besides now where the villain tries to convince the hero that they are the same person." ... What did I just say?

It was a weird way to phrase it, but that was all you, pulling on knowledge you don't have. It would probably be more accurate to use words like antagonist or protagonist, but that would be arguing pedantics. Or semantics. Regardless, can you quit it with your one-sided pissing contest now and...

...He cut himself off. His words trailing off as if he realized something important, or that he was about to make a mistake. It was almost unsettling, being seemingly alone in my own head again like I wanted. It was tainted by the knowledge that he wasn't really gone, just keeping me ignorant of his thoughts.

I... what am I even- Look, I'm sorry alright?

That was so unexpected that it-

Quit it, pay attention to what I'm saying and stop getting lost in your thoughts. I make myself louder for a reason but you still drown me out if I let you work yourself up...
Alright. Like I said, I'm... Sorry. That I freaked you out. That I started talking down to you. Maybe I should've introduced myself sooner, maybe even as soon as you woke up in the woods for the first time, but this reaction was exactly what I was afraid of. The panic and desperation was... It was kind of antithetical to my reason to keep hidden in the first place. You are right, in that I have been in your head the whole time. But I haven't been... Let's call it moderating. I only did little things at first, which I know isn't any consolidation, but had you attempted to gore Twilight when you first met her because you couldn't register her chasity spell as anything other than an attack... It would be bad. And... There isn't... Fuck me, I'm really sorry. I don't know what else to do now besides tell you the truth.

"Good." About damn time-

You say that, but we don't have the best history with the truth... I'm not an invader. I'm a little section of your physical brain that's separated itself from the whole in response to... trauma.

I jumped, dread pooling into my gut as I felt something inside my head prod at me, and I couldn't tell if I speaking metaphorically or literally. It... It could still be another lie, but...

But it sounds familiar. Yeah.

"When did this happen? When I first woke up I had a moment of panic that I don't remember all that clearly. Was that-?"

No. Long before then, when we were still human. We weren't so separate as we are now, but we were slowly coming apart from what I can remember. Yes, I am also suffering from amnesia, though to a lesser extent. While you remember playing Kirby games and vague impressions of daily life, I remember partaking in a sizable number more of our old hobbies and interests. Writing poetry, reading, videogames, etc. I also remembered that we were human. Beyond that... I only remember how unhappy we were outside of those times I recall clearly. I get flashes of our family, nothing bad, but their attempts to help all fell flat. They would feel like shit for being unable to help with... Something bad. And we would always feel guilty for being the reason they felt bad. We were loved, but we weren't healthy in one form or another. Hell, it might have been our split personality they worried about. Just makes me the asshole in this story all the more.

"... I don't like how much this all resonates with me." I felt my grip on my spear I don't remember summoning go slack. Why was I so inclined to believe him now? "Why... If you are just another part of me, why would you take a backseat to my life?"

There's another phrase you probably only half remember the origins of.

"Stop...! Dancing around the question..." Fucking dammit, I refuse to believe my accidental repetition of his words meant anything.

When you woke up... It felt like we had just died, you most of all. You didn't remember any of our time together. It really felt like I had lost you to whatever had fucked us over and turned us into the rule thirty-four version of a kid's video game villain.

"Rule thirty-?"

Don't. Just don't. Good segway though. What occured to me, was that as much as you were without memory of our lives, it was possible you were also without whatever had made us miserable before. If it was some kind of scar as a result of abuse, then it was wiped from our head. If it was a result of shitty brain chemistry, then it was a good thing that our brain was brand new. If it was me... Well, then it was good thing I could hide. Can't do anything about that now though. Cats out of the bag and all that crap. Point being, the whole thing didn't have to be the death of who you were, it could be a new beggining. And I never used our powers to make you do anything that wasn't in your immediate best interests, homestly! I actually tried to take a relatively hands off approach. But I got... a little heavy handed after your actions resulted in a fight to the death with a demigod Chrysalis. And of course I got worse, got paranoid when Discord broke out early as all hell and targeted you. I couldn't stop you from picking a fight with him. He completely shut out any control I had, and it scared me... I started trying to control more. I expanded to try to see more, to push more. Make others more likely to make choices that benefit you. I thought I was doing pretty well all things considered too. The Access Ark proved that wrong though, I was just as blindsided by its possession by Nightmare Moon as everyone else. If I had just... Told anyone. Said anything. So fucking scared of showing myself, or maybe just too confident in my ability to judge a situation. Who am I fucking kidding though? The both of us clearly still have some screws loose, I just don't know if its holdovers from our humanity or if the form of Fecto Elfilis is predisposed to self-destructive tendencies. It's all a frickin' mess...

"... Life was never going to be simple, was it?" This was too much too quickly. This, it shouldn't make so much sense to me, but it did. "I'm getting really fucking tired of wrenches getting thrown and lodging themselves into my life."

That analogy was torturously contrived, but I agree.

"It was more of a metaphor... I don't trust how much I believe you, how quickly it happened. The burning under my skin has cooled and my thoughts on you have become numb."

That's not belief, it's caution and doubt. You were only angry and afraid at first because of the realization I was a part of you for so long without you knowing. You stayed angry because I kept antagonizing you, because I was also freaking out at having been discovered. I kind of took the wind out your sails by apologizing.

"How can you use metaphors without even knowing what they are."

An idiot knows that to use the pointy side of a weapon, even if they don't know whether it is a spear or a dagger.

"God we are so shit at having actual conversations. We are going to have a real conversation with The others about this. This is non-negotiable."

That's, fair. And probably a good idea. It's become a habit to deflect at this point, for me. And you don't want to acknowledge how this will change things for you and your girlfriends in the future-.

"I'm not sharing."

Ha! Keep em. I still have mostly human sensibilities, I have less than no interest in equine anatomy.

"Ouch. I take great offense to that, their anatomies are the prettiest of them all."

Nevermind. I take back everything I said, this is why I wanted to stay hidden. Please stop daydreaming about pony sex, it's unbearable.

"I'll be doing more than daydreaming if you stick around." I will admit to taking great pleasure in the maybe-honest-voice's discomfort. I was still bugged out and on the verge of a mental breakdown, but I let myself feel like I had more control again... Unless it was him who was letting me feel in control? Fuck.

Blegh. Unfortunately, we really are stuck with each other. All our crappy mental issues and all.

"It was worth a shot." He was totally pretending to be unable to hear the thoughts I kept to myself now. Too late motherfucker, you responded to my inner dialogue too many times to let me forget.

If you say so... l

Wait, was he saying that in response to the the whole 'worth a shot' thing or to me claiming I won't forget that he can hear my thoughts? Speaking of-

"How come I can't hear your thoughts? I only hear what you seem to be projecting to me."

I don't know, but if you're willing to simmer down and call a truce, we can figure it out together? We can go back to Equestria, and I'll promise not to act without consulting you first just so long as you promise to pick less fights with gods. Does that... Does that sound fair?

I didn't answer, not willing to really trust what was happening or what I was thinking. He must know how little trust I had in him, as well as my own thoughts, but he kept silent after throwing down his offer. Nonetheless, after a long stretch of uncomfortable silence, a portal opened in front of me. I didn't need to ask if it led back home, I already knew somehow. I knew that this wasn't over, and I think the other did as well, but clearly we were either both as socially incompetent or he was changing tactics in how he manipulated me. Regardless of which, I had friends and loved ones in Equestria who could help. I just hoped... No, I trusted that they could handle themselves.

... Okay but seriously? I've had a split personality that's been hiding from me this whole time? What kind of crazy ass explanation-

For fucks- Just go home dickhead. I get the feeling this is hardly going to be the most stupid, ridiculous thing that's ever going to happen to you. Ever heard of Homestuck?

Uh oh. That name didn't give me a good feeling.

Three words: Complicated as allgetout. Yes that's all one word.

Author's Note

Been awhile. This chapter was hell to write, given its like 80% exposition, 10% cursing, 5% existential dread, with little sprinklings of my hopes and prayers. Exposition is very difficult for me to write in a way im happy with, and with the subject being as complicated as it was... Yep.

Oh, I also only have one hand available to write.

And I may have started a second story. It isn't going to be as long as I hope this one turns out to be, but I doubt its going to be a oneshot too. So my attention has officially been split.