Tentacles in the Mist(y)

1. Opaline, her wings hidden under her delivery mare's uniform, stepped carefully over Argyle's slumbering form and into his secret library. With her magic weak and flickering in this dimension she had to resort to guile to get what she wanted. Luckily, his curiosity about unicorns made him eager to chat with her over a pot of tea, and she'd managed to slip a few drops of a non-magical sleeping potion into his cup.

But she would only have a few minutes.

Her eyes raced over the spines of the books until she found the one she was looking for. She flipped it open, put on her reading glasses, and squinted at Twilight Sparkle's cramped and illegible hornwriting.

With the impact of Equestria's plummeting population growing more dire, I am forced to resort to magical means to address it. If we cannot breed enough stallions, we will have to make some new ones. While a significant portion of the nation's mares will recoil at what needs to be done, there are enough who prefer sapphic relationships, or are at least open to loving another mare, that I think we can pull this off we can get through this tight spotwe can get on top of this problem this spell might work.

"Namby-pamby goody goody horse apples; where's the penis spell?" She flicked ahead until she found several pages of complicated diagrams labeled 'genital reassignment spell'. "Pay dirt!"

She tucked the book into her delivery bag and fled, giggling, to her getaway boat.

1. "...and, for the millionth time, that's why I locked the sudoku editor in my basement," finished Misty.

"And do you understand that wasn't an appropriate thing to do?" said Misty's court-appointed therapist.

Misty rolled her eyes. "If that stallion didn't want to be locked up in the dark with the rats and spiders and fed gruel three meals a day, he should have picked harder puzzles. If you market a book as 'super difficult sudoku for geniuses', and fill it with puzzles a filly could do in her sleep, then you need to be prepared to accept the consequences. I only did what I had to do. Opaline agrees with me on this."

"Yes. Ovaltine the Overmare. Your imaginary alicorn marefriend."

Misty narrowed her eyes fiercely. "Her name is Opaline, and she is real, and she thinks I need a better therapist."

"Alicorns aren't real."

Misty stomped her hooves petulantly on the edge of the therapist's couch. "They are they are they are!"

The therapist scribbled 'increase anti-psychotic medication?' at the edge of her notes. "Are you still having those constant sexual fantasies about her?"

"It's constant real sex, thank you very much, and yes. I'm loving it."

"The activities you describe are very dangerous. Somepony could be hurt."

Misty smirked. "Well, if she isn't real, then you have nothing to worry about, do you?"

"I mean if you tried to act them out."

One of Misty's eyebrows arched upward. "Are you volunteering? Opaline might be open to a threesome."

The therapist crossed out the question mark after 'increase anti-psychotic medication' and underlined it twice. "Oh, will you look at that? Our time is just about out. Same time next week?"