Fluffiest Misadventures

by tranhdxrbntd

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Sex, Royal Guard
Length: 15003

Fluffy Yakutian Horse from egalitarian culture visits RGRE Equestria and experience culture clash. Inspired by "The Long and Short of It" by SQA

A nice Yakutian stallion visits the nice, friendly lands of Equestria for a diplomatic visit. Despite being toted around as a land of Friendship and happiness, all of the mares keep bothering and or attacking him? What gives? Did he do something wrong? Was it a culture thing?

Well, Snowball, even with a security detail assigned to him, he'll have to learn why. As for the mares of Equestria, they'll be taught a very valuable lesson... By Snowball of all ponies. Will he and his luxuriously tempting extra-thiccc arctic coat survive Equestria uncuddled and unmolested?? Who knows?

RGRE Equestria with a Yakutian from a not RGRE culture based around Anui/Innuit/Yakut culture

A lot of influence from "The Long and Short of It" by SQA with his permission

Published 2022-09-03 18:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-06-13 16:02:35 UTC

Chapter 1: Snowball

A white stallion sat on a bench in a train accompanied only by a pair of saddlebags. It was the final leg of a long journey that spanned from the most northern train station on this continent to the center of it. Despite how long he had been in the train so far, he had been awake the whole time, watching the landscape around him move with a sense of childlike wonder.

It was a week before Hearth's Warming Eve and almost every other bench on the train was filled with holiday travelers. Some ponies, like the lone white stallion, were also looking at the moving landscape, taking in the sight of the freshly laden snow of many hard working pegasi. Others were asleep. The remaining, were staring at the lone white stallion.

There were many things about him that caught the eye. For one thing, he was all by his lonesome. There was no big strong mare to protect him in dangerous-for-lone-stallion times like these. Then, there was his fur. He sported, what appeared to be, the thickest, densest winter coat of pure white fur that anypony had every seen. Hanging around his neck, slightly compacting his thick neck fur, was a long triple chain silver necklace. Each link on the chain was engraved and attached to the middle chain below his neck was a large curved crescent that sported a wood panel on the middle half of the crescent's inner curve. Finally, the seat beside him held his saddlebags. Stuck between the saddlebags, sticking straight up, was a long blade single edged spear that had three barbs along the blade.

The spear was the primary reason why he hadn't been bothered by anypony else during the entire train ride. It was very standoffish. Why was he carrying such a thing and how had he taken it on the train? There was no way something like that was allowed on the train, especially in a stallion's possession! There was no chance that he was in the royal guard, with his fur (especially those unshorn fetlocks) like that!

There was a lot of questions to be answered, ones that would stay unanswered because the stallion had been dead silent the whole time. Even coming onto the train, no noise came from him, not even the clop of hooves.

All train rides had to come to an end and when it did, he politely waited until everypony else in the car got out first before silently trotting off of the car himself. The instant he stepped off of the train and into the station terminal, he was filled with a sense of amazement. There were hundreds, if not, thousands of ponies here! They were even taking up a significant amount of the space flying in the air! He had never seen this many ponies in one place before. Hell, he had probably seen less ponies in his lifetime than there were presently here! In addition to that, the sound of ponies milling about (their loud talking and the loud sound of hooves impacting the cobblestone) was a constant assault on his ears, even after he started pressing them flat against his head.

He stood there, ponies trotting and flying all around him, being wary of his spear. It'd probably be bad if he accidentally injured somepony here on his first day in Equestria. He had made it halfway to an assistance kiosk when a pair of pegasi mares in brilliantly decorated golden armor landed directly in front of him. He took a half step backwards, almost rearing up from the surprise.

"Hi, are you Snowball?" one of the mares practically yelled out, in an attempt to be heard over all of the background noise. The stallion, very clearly hearing the mare, nodded in response. "Yes, we're the royal guards assigned to intercept with you once you got here." The stallion nodded again in response, still deciding that silence was still in. "Canterlot castle is in the center of the city so it'll be a long trip there." The stallion nodded once again, not wanting to break his record.

The mare shrugged and turned to her compatriot. "Get the others to bring the sky carriage over." The other mare nodded and took to the skies. The first mare watched her compatriot fly away, making sure she went in the right direction. "It'll b-"

Her train of thought exploded off a cliff as when she looked back to the stallion, he was gone.

Chapter 2: A Nice Walk

Snowball stared at the pegasus mare who was in turn staring at the other pegasus mare up in the sky. The mare held the stare for an unnerving amount of time because to him, it seemed quite odd to be staring up at the sky for any amount of time considering you wanted to be aware of your surroundings at all times. He decided not to stay and wait for the mare and trotted around her, in the opposite direction of where she was staring. Apparently, it would be a long trip to his destination so he wanted to make some progress.

Now he knew his destination was called Canterlot Castle. Equestrian wasn't his first language, his family only knew how to speak it from trading with roving traders, meeting up with them when they were on the most southern portion of their constant migration. He could tell that Canterlot was a name but Castle was a word and it roughly translated to 'permanent big building' in his mind. There was one problem with looking for a 'permanent big building' here in Canterlot... Once he had left the train station and it's pegasi obscuring the skies, he could see that every single building in Canterlot fit the description of 'permanent big building'. Though to be fair, there was one saving grace, the biggest tallest building that was roughly centered amongst all of the other buildings was likely to be what he assumed to be Canterlot Castle. `

-X-X-X-

Canterlot, the capitol of Equestria was quite the tourist destination for citizens of Equestria and with it being this close to Hearth's Warming Eve, it was quite packed with many a tourists. Being a regular tourist destination, there was many, many tourist traps in the city and many of them were close to the train station, obviously because it'd be the source of all non-pegasi tourists. There were the normal tourist traps that you'd expect in every major city, vendors hocking subpar wares, taxis ready to pick up travelers, ponies ready to provide tourists a guided escort through the city, and escorts ready to provide ponies with 'comfort'.

The instant Snowball had made it any decent distance from the train station, he was the most eye catching pony for miles. For one thing, he was a lone stallion so he was just begging for a mare to accompany him. More importantly, it was the way he was dressed, or lack thereof.

A pair of mares traveling with each other eyed the approaching white stallion trotting along with a spear, a set of saddlebags that looked like they were hoof made in the style of some undiscovered tribe, and his unshorn fetlocks (how raunchy). On the behest and jeer of the other, one of the two mares stepped forward to approach him as he came closer to them. "Hel-lo baby, digging that tribal look. How much?" The stallion hadn't made any response that clued in to the mares that he had acknowledged the two mares and kept on trotting, going past the two mares.

The first mare almost froze in response to him ignoring her and the second of the two rushed forward and, irritated at having to do this (I mean, if he's an escort, he should be looking for cues like that?), grabbed his balls (no bra, Rawr) for a split second, giving them a playful squeeze. The stallion nickered in surprise and, in a heartbeat, spun on a dime to face the intruder of his personal space. The mare smirked at getting the stallion's attention. "My friend asked-"

She didn't get to finish that sentence. He didn't waste the time and decked her in the face, knocking her clean out (and quite possibly feeding the mare some of her own teeth in the process). The stallion nickered once again, this time happily, at the properly dished out karma and then turned around and continued his trotting. The mare's friend, shocked for a few seconds, at first, rushed to the unconscious pony's side in aid.

Meanwhile in One of Canterlot Castle's Royal Guard Dispatching Offices

"You lost the Yakutian emissary?!" a seated royal guard officer yelled in shock. Two royal guards, the same ones who had met up with Snowball at the train station, nodded in shame. The royal guard officer ran both of her hooves across her face. "The first Yakutian diplomatic envoy in centuries, a stallion, and you let him go on on his own in this city. Do you know what could happen to a stallion, alone, in times like these?!" The officer groaned at the possibilities of what could happen to him with there being no mare to protect him in dangerous-for-lone-stallion times like these, especially with this city.

The mare, sighing, pulled her face out of her hooves. "We're gonna have to dispatch every free guard to search for him! What did he bucking look like?!"

For a second, neither of the standing mares responded, he had looked pretty plain. "Well ma'am he was, uh, white", responded one of the mares. "Uh, white mane? A little taller than average, I think?"

The officer waited for more to come from the mares only to realize that was all that was being offered by her subordinates. She slammed her head into a pile of paperwork on the desk in front of her. "A white stallion, taller that average. So every noble and uniformed royal guard in Canterlot?" The stallion being white posed a second problem, all of Canterlot had fresh snow. For the entire month, snow was scheduled to give the city that stereotypical winter holiday look. This was gonna be like looking for a needle in a needlestack.

The other mare took her turn to pipe up. "Ma'am, he was a little on the fluffier side, pretty wide from the front."

The officer looked up from her paperwork pile. "It's Winter. Everypony has their winter coat grown in."

"No, he was extra fluffy, like, the thicccest, densest coat you'd ever seen."

"I'm gonna kill both of you."

Meanwhile in a Canterlot Castle's Royal Guard Law Enforcement Office

Why is it always the holidays when stuff like this happened? Was it the tourists?

A law enforcement dispatching officer had been receiving several reports of a crazed escort going around and outright attacking several mares. With several mares either concussed or knocked out, she didn't expect a stallion to be the one doing it but all of the reports were very vocal about the perpetrator being one. How weak and colty was that? Being knocked out by a stallion? Stallions were namby pamby. How weak did you have to be to be knocked out by a single punch from a stallion? This was truly a sign that the modern mare was slowly getting weaker and weaker. Must be the result of these new age stallionists. The mare shuddered at the thought of them. Disgusting.

Unfortunately for the dispatching officer, all of the reports of this crazed stallion pretty much came back the same. It was a white stallion with a white mane going around and doing this. The white mane was rare but the white coat pretty much described hundreds of stallions in Canterlot. She was going to have to dispatch a lot of guards out for this matter, mares at that. What stallion guards she had at her disposal would probably not be up to the task at hand or worse, be sympathetic and also become a victim.

Author's Note

On google images, look up "thiccc" with 3 Cs

Chapter 3: The Hunt Begins

Snowball's opinion of this nation went down and down, the more ponies he met. So far, everypony he had met were mares and all of them had left a sour taste in his mouth, most of them grabbing at his balls. Even when he made a deliberate attempt to avoid other ponies, they would just straight up go out of their way to bother him. What was wrong with them?

That was when something grabbed his flank and one of his backlegs. This time, it wasn't a playful grab like what had been happening to him so far but instead it was more like a predatorial grab. It was like something was trying to immobilize one of his back legs.

Instinct kicked in and he planted his front hooves and the affect back leg into the grab while kicking backwards with his back leg, the ungrabbed on, at the offender. He felt his hoof connect hard with something, the hold on his leg and flank disappearing a second later, before hoofing it.

-X-X-X-

A pair of patrolling royal guard mares saw the white fluffy stallion and realized he fit the description of who they were on lookout for, to a T, and slowly snuck up on him, closing as much distance as they could before they could pounce. They could see that he was armed with a spear and wasn't paying attention to them. The two guards looked at each and nodded.

The takedown maneuver was a core part of the royal guard law enforcement procedures, working off on natural pony instincts. One pony would immobilize one of the back legs of the target and, when the target bolted forward out of natural instinct, would tumble down into a predictable fall. At that point, the second pony would pounce on the prone target and keep them immobilized.

Unfortunately for the two royal guards, this pony had different instincts when they attempted their takedown. Worse yet, the mare who's role was to immobilize one of the target's legs, had closed too much distance too the target and had become very well acquainted with one of Snowball's back hooves. Luckily for her, the royal guard uniform helmet absorbed a significant amount of force from the impact but not enough of the impact to keep her from getting a very brief mental reboot.

The other royal guard, adding onto the pile of today's bad decisions, decided to pounce the running target in spite of her partner's surprise gift. She got ready for him to start bucking (couldn't be that bad, mares buck harder) and was abruptly smashed into the hard, cold cobblestone road when the stallion rolled over onto his back, crushing the mare. She lost her grip on the stallion and he continued rolling, getting back on his hooves and bolting off into the distance. The mare, lying on the road, let out a pained gurgle.

-X-X-X-

Okay, he really didn't like Equestria's ponies. Maybe things would get better when he got to the castle? Anyways, not he was just going to keep away from everypony here until he got some explanations and accommodations.

-X-X-X-

Several members of the royal guard law enforcement division noticed that the reports of the crazed stallion had the incident location slowly moving closer and closer to Canterlot Castle. The perpetrator would be pretty easy to track considering it seemed like he was going in a straight line.

While ponies were being assaulted, no one had any serious injuries and obviously, no one had died. Even though the stallion was possibly armed with a spear, it seemed like he would only assault mares by delivering a single punch. Unfortunately, now was when reports of the stallion knocking out two guards came in. Now, the guards being sent out were sent out in larger teams, the kind specifically trained to take down anything.

In a different section of the castle's royal guard department, ponies were basically going wild over the fact that they had lost a diplomat. He was a lone stallion and if he got hurt, it would ruin Equestria's image and any future connections with Yakut. Worse yet, this was the first time any Yakutian, mare or stallion, had visited Equestria in centuries and Yakut was an economic gold mine in terms of natural resources. Even if Equestria was able to get possession of any of Yakut's land, they would need the Yakutian's help to access any of those natural resources.

There was clearly a lot on the line.

Since the regular guards were having trouble even spotting the stallion, members of the night guard, specifically the bat ponies that they had in their ranks, were being brought into the mess. Like normal bats, they could use echolocation to spot nearby objects or ponies. With their help, perhaps the proverbial needle in a needlestack would become a needle in a haystack.

-X-X-X-

Teams of bat ponies were given sectors to find the lost diplomatic. Being airborne, they could cover large swathes of land much faster than being on foot. While their echolocation made it so that they didn't have to look for a white pony amongst a white background, they just had to look for a lone traveling pony. While it may sound ludicrous to have the searching parameters be 'a single lone pony', it narrowed the search down much better than you think. It was a major holiday season and everypony was with someone, whether they be a Canterlot native or a touring visitor.

The search area started from the train station (his origin), going up towards the Castle (likely where he was headed, being a diplomat). Different teams of bat ponies were given their own sector and surprisingly enough, it seemed like the problem would be over.

And it rightfully was. One team of bat ponies had honed in on a white stallion traveling by himself, relatively close to the castle. The team of three quickly started diving, honing in on their target.

Meanwhile, on the ground level, a team of law enforcement day guards patrolled the same area, on the lookout for a crazed lone white stallion armed with a spear. They had been on the lookout for a while and had noticed the swathes of Princess Luna's bat ponies join in on their search. One of the guards noticed one of the squads of bat ponies start diving towards an area, like they were apprehending a target. Realizing that they had probably found the crazed stallion, the team of ponies rushed towards the area where that team of night guards had dived into.

-X-X-X-

A trio of bat ponies landed in front of the Yakutian, blocking his path. At this range, the night guards could clearly confirm that he was, indeed, the lost diplomat they were looking for. They also noticed that he was visibly stressed and possibly angry at them. He had his ears pinned back and had partially turned his flank to face sideways, as if he was getting ready to aim his rear to them and deliver a buck. He was also grimacing, showing off some of his teeth, of which were tightly clenched. All of his fur seemed like they were standing on end (making him poofier somehow) and the muscles that he clearly had, were very much tensed up. It also probably didn't help that the bat ponies were, this might surprise you, bat ponies. Yakutians had never seen bat ponies before and vice versa, so their appearance was quite freaky to to the former.

The leader of the trio, a sergeant, held up a hoof, trying to calm down the stallion. "We're royal guards. We're supposed to protect you and provide an escort to the castle," slowly came the mare's soothing voice. He seemed to visibly relax, his ears not pinned back more and his fur becoming less poofy, but his muscles were still tense, as if he was ready to bolt any second.

Unfortunately, that was when a trio of more royal guards appeared in the opposite direction that the Yakutian was facing. The three white day guards ran into the situation and bucked everything up. "You got him!" yelled out one of the new three mares. One of the day guards immediately charged in and rolled, trying to bowl throw his legs and knock him down. Unfortunately for the day guard delivering the takedown maneuver, she met a steel wall of resistance (a lot of toned muscle in those legs) and did nothing.

He snorted in anger and fully aimed his flank at them and delivered a hard buck to the lead mare, knocking her immediately out. He then instantly charged in the same direction he was facing, noticing the two new mares in this equation, and knocked down both of the day guards like a bowling ball through a set of ten pins.

In all of the commotion, he disappeared down an alleyway while the royal guards were figuring out what to do.

Chapter 4: A Walk in the Park

Snowball ducked down random streetways, making sure he didn't make a single noise as he made his escape. He deliberately chose paths that was sparse in the pedestrian department. The tall buildings went by him until he found himself in a big open field covered in a thick layer of snow. The snow was so deep that he could jump into it and sink all the way up to his body. Scattered in random areas of the field were thousands of trees, more trees than he had seen in his entire life up to this life. Overcasting the field was a large low altitude blanket of clouds that were actively snowing, constantly refreshing the coverage on the ground. Strangely enough, even with the strong winds that he could feel, the clouds refused to move as if they were anchored in place.

Aside from the trees, this reminded him of home, a vast field of snow.

He could see the occasional group of ponies in the field, they were distant enough and making enough noise that he could actively avoid them in this area. All the way on the other side of this field, he could see his intended destination, the tall building that he thought would be Canterlot Castle.

-X-X-X-

The two still-conscious bat ponies, after they made sure their compatriot was fine, helped up the two day guards that the Yakutian knocked down while the third day guard got up to her hooves. One of the bat ponies, after finishing up with helping up the day guard she was assisting, angrily tried to shove the day guard that had attempted the sideswipe takedown. "What in the tartarus was that?!"

The larger earth pony day guard ate the shove, unfazed by the failed shove from the smaller bat pony. "You had him! I don't know why you didn't try to take him down yourself!" she yelled back.

The bat pony facehoofed. "Why would we take him down?! We're supposed to protect and escort him to the castle!"

The earth pony mare returned a look of incredulity to the thestral. "What in the buck are you talking about!?" she demanded.

The night guard pulled her hoof off of her face. "The Yakutian?" The day guard had a look of confusion on her face that the night guard clearly noticed. "The latest diplomat to visit Equestria, the one from Yakut?" The look of confusion only got worse. "Everypony, orders out."

The five conscious ponies all withdrew scrolls from somewhere in their armor and unrolled them. They all exchanged the scrolls and read them. The night guards were correctly looking for a Yakutian diplomat, described as 'a white furred, white maned stallion, with a thick winter coat and carrying a spear' while the day guards were also correctly looking for a crazed criminal assaulting random ponies described as 'a white furred, white maned stallion, with a thick winter coat and armed with a spear'. All conscious royal guards thought the same thing.

'Buuuuuuuuuuck.'

Author's Note

Chapter 5: One Small Act of Kindness

Snow, something he grew up with, something he was so familiar with that he was named after it. This was his natural environment. It was what he preferred. To him, it was a blessing in a time of despair and the experience of snow surrounding his legs, as he trudged through the field of white, was a comforting feeling.

The sight of this many trees was a bit odd but it impressed him. Typically, the only time he or other Yakutians saw any type of tree was when they reached the most southern portion of their constant everlasting migration. Even then, those trees were uncommon and essentially decimated by the arctic environment they lived in.

He cut a path towards a tree and pawed at it. Even in this cold (cold for Canterlot, relatively warm for a Yakutian), the tree seemed to still have life in it unlike the trees he were used to seeing. The wood seemed to be very strong and pliable so he jumped up and grabbed hold of a low hanging branch with his mouth. When gravity took him back to the ground, the branch went with him, disconnecting itself from the tree.

Snowball thanked the tree and tucked the branch into his saddlebags, alongside his spear, running the length of his body. He went back to trudging through the snow, wanting to continue his arduous journey, but he was immediately distracted by something else.

Off in the distance, he heard the screams of yearlings. Sprinting towards their rescue, he effortlessly made a silent slice through the deep snow. The distance he traveled to find the victims, wouldn't have been easily covered by most other ponies, even if it was on a cleared flat road. For him, the distance didn't matter, if it was a child, it was the right thing to do.

Just as when the physical exertion started to get his core temperature heated up, he found the source of the screams. There were five of those winged Equestrians, four little yellow fillies and an even littler pair of light grey colts. All of them were running around, chasing each other, and lobbing snowballs at each other. A sense of relief filled him. It was just a bunch of children playing around in the snow, something he had seen before, just never seen before with this much noise being made in the process.

The six of the pegasi yearlings noticed their visitor and charged at the Yakutian while screaming but before they could reach him, a resounding command ripped through the air.

"GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!" yelled a mysterious stallion.

The six pegasi yearlings immediately halted their stampede and slowly trotted in the direction of the voice, opposite of where they had been charging. Snowball looked to where they were heading, also where that other stallion had been yelling from, and saw a short yellow pegasus stallion approaching forward.

Snowball, who had almost bolted off when the children had started charging at him, relaxed his muscles and shook off some of the snow that had accumulated on him when he charged through the snow.

The yellow pegasus stallion intercepted the half dozen little hellspawn, giving them a disapproving look. "You all know how to act around other ponies!" he scolded them. He turned to look at Snowball and gave a friendly wave. Returning his hoof to the ground, he trudged his way over to Snowball, six little ponies trailing behind like a line of ducks. Snowball thought about running off, having experienced enough of Equestria's population but decided this new pony seemed friendly enough.

When the distance was closed, the first thing the pegasus noticed was that this new pony was bestowed upon by Celestia herself, what appeared to be the most magnificent winter coat he had ever seen on anypony (and that chest floof, the tuft of legends). It was matted and dirtied in some areas but it was so mesmerizing that it could be forgiven. Then, he noticed the spear that the mysterious stallion was carrying, along with a... Tree branch? Was he homeless? "Sir, are you okay?" Snowball paused before nodding in response. "Are you traveling somewhere?" he asked, noticing the stallion's saddlebags.

Snowball nodded and pulled aside one of his saddlebags. He started digging through the saddlebag as another yell echoed throughout this area.

"Where's the foals?!" demanded a mare's voice. Snowball immediately froze upon hearing the mare's voice.

The stallion, turning to the direction of where the mare yelled from and yelled out, "Over here!" He turned back to look at Snowball and noticed how how tense the newfound mound of winter coat had become. Snowball's fur was standing on end and all of his muscles were tensed up. Ears flicking around and eyes squinting in anger, what was going on with this stallion? Did he do something wrong? The pegasus stallion held a hoof up to calm down the stallion. "I'm sorry about my foals, my wife and I wanted to take them out for a fun little snow day in the park." This seemed to snap Snowball out of his trance and he tilted his head, looking at the line of six little ponies. He nodded and smiled back in return.

Going over a snow mound, appeared a little bat pony who was carrying a couple trays of ice cream cones in her hooves. She barely hovered above the snow and approached the group of ponies, filling Snowball with a sense of dread. Upon getting there, the bat pony was immediately swarmed by the six little ponies, each one retrieving an ice cream scoop. The bat pony noticed the Yakutian, raising an eyebrow. "Sorry it took so long, who's this?" the mare asked. The mare could immediately see that this new stallion was very agitated and stepped closer to him. "Want an ice cream cone? The stand was having a deal so I have extra!" she said while holding up one of the trays up to him.

Snowball's muscles tense and he took a step back, wanting to keep himself away from the mare. He noticed that she didn't do anything before taking a tentative step forward. He look at the tray and at the ice cream. He wasn't sure what it was and looked at the colts and fillies who had grabbed an ice cream cone. They were happily licking away at the things. He took the chance and picked up one of the remaining ice cream cones. The fillies and colts paused in their treats consumption and stared at the strange new pony as he stared at the strange new treat.

Snowball realized everypony was waiting on him so he gave the ice cream a tentative lick. He then immediately bit off the entire top half of the cream cone, taking the entire scoop of ice cream into his mouth. He chewed for a bit before stuffing the rest of the cone into his mouth.

Everypony giggled at the only enjoyment of Equestria that the stallion had so far. The mare noticed the somewhat ragged look that the stallion had and then noticed the spear and tree branch he was carrying. She stepped in between the new stallion and her stallion. "So, uh, what brings you to Canterlot?"

The mare's words snapped Snowball out of his temporary zen and he picked up where he left off on digging through his saddlebag. He produced a scroll and held it out for the mare. The bat pony hesitantly took the scroll and unrolled it. She gasped, realizing what she was holding. The scroll was gilded with gold and had the royal seal of the two sisters. "A visit to Equestria, personal invitation to Canterlot Castle from Princess Celestia?!" she exclaimed. She looked back to the stallion. "Why are you by yourself?!"

The husband, ran up to his wife and looked at the scroll, realizing that what she had said was correct. "Do you know how dangerous it is for stallions like us to go on our own?!" Snowball snorted angrily and pulled back the scroll. To be fair, he had run into quite a bit of trouble so far. "Let us take you there!"

Snowball shook his head, refusing the offer. He hugged the husband and wife (wow, he is very warm) and dug something out of his saddlebags. He held it up, offering it to the couple. It was a hoof sized piece of ivory, intricately engraved with a scene of the ocean.

The husband politely pushed the gift away. "No, we couldn't." It didn't matter. Snowball just stuck the piece of scrimshaw into the bat pony wife's mane before running off in the direction of Canterlot Castle, leaving the couple baffled.

That was when a colt's voice pierced the air. "Dad, he's not wearing a ball bra!" There was a light smack on the back of the head. The wife couldn't resist looking. There was a heavy smack on the back of the head.

Author's Note

Just to clarify. When I use the term yearling, its not a pony between the ages of 1 to 2 years old. I use the term to refer to pony children.

Chapter 6: Cold Blooded

A trio of royal guards, composed of a bat pony night guard and two earth pony day guards, followed the diplomat's trail to the Canterlot Central Park (not to be confused with the Central Park of Canterlot), and entered it, immediately being hit with an ocean of cold temperature and wind chill. The second of the thestrals had gone back to Canterlot Castle to fix the mix up with the Yakutian while the third of the day guards was dealing with the knocked out night guard.

"Mother of Celestia, it feels like I'm gonna freeze my teats off!" cried one of the day guards.

The bat pony flared out her nostrils. "We wouldn't have had to follow him into a winterized park if a certain day guard hadn't of tried a sideswiping takedown maneuver," the bat pony said while glaring at one of the two day guards, specifically the one who had tried the sideswiping takedown maneuver on the Yakutian.

The day guard being addressed, squared up to the bat pony, pushing her forehead against the mare and pushed her back. "Oh buck off!"

The night guard shoved back, matching the day guard's shove. "Like tartarus if you think the widdle earth pony who couldn't knock down the big, tough stallion, thinks she can shove me into a corner!"

The thestral was about to catch the earth pony's hooves when the second of the day guards forced her way in between the two. "Save it for the cheap motel! We got a lost colt to find!"

The two backed off while the third went into the disturbed snow trail that the diplomat had left behind. The day guard followed her, lining up behind the first day guard, and then the night guard entered last. However, the thestral immediately found that walking through the snow proved quite the physical challenge. "Is this supposed to feel like this?" It felt like a water treadmill, only harder and colder.

The lead mare snorted. "Try being up front!"

The thestral smirked. "Buck this!" She flared out her wings and took to the air. Unfortunately for her, the park's air was significantly colder than the rest of Canterlot's air due to snow clouds up above. This created a huge, constantly shifting, air current that made it nigh impossible to fly except for the most skilled of fliers. She immediately lost all of her altitude and dropped back down to ground level, hovering barely above the snow. Making things worse, she found that hovering this close to the ground created a metaphorical tornado of cold wind chill around her, making it feel a thousand times colder. It didn't help that her metal armor was doing a great job of being a heat exchanger.

The two day guards was about to lynch the night guard for increasing the wind chill of that area by several magnitudes when the thestral landed behind the two, lining up with them. "Nevermind," said the thestral meekly. The two day guards smirked at the bat pony, bathing in the schadenfreude.

-X-X-X-

It had taken a while but the three royal guards had followed Snowball's trail to, strangely enough, the park's large frozen lake. It left the trio chilled to the bone and more tired than any of them had felt in their entire life. They had also found out that the thestral's natural bat echolocation was rendered moot because all of the surrounding snow dampened a lot of the sound, leaving them to do this the old fashioned way.

They thought they would have caught up to the Yakutian by now. For Celestia's sake, he was a diplomat! Usually, their kind weren't very physically active and the three of them were trained royal guards of the crown's army! He was also supposed to be facing the more physically demanded challenge, making the initial trail in the snow that they were following!

Here, at the frozen lake, there were several benches that, after being cleared of the snow, proved to be decent places to rest their tired flanks. It was a good moment of respite as they were figuring out what to do. Once they got to the lake, there were several other paths through the snow throwing off their hunt. Being a major park, obviously, other ponies would be making their own paths through the snow. "How in the buck have we not seen him yet!" demanded the night guard. One of the day guards, thinking back to when she impacted the stallion's legs in the failed attempt of a takedown maneuver, thought of how hard his leg muscles had felt like. He could have been tensing his muscles at the time but even then, it was impressive, having felt like solid stone!

"Oh, hello!"

All three royal guards scrambled to their hooves in surprise, not noticing that a yellow pegasus stallion had trotted over to them, his hoof steps having been muffled by the snow covering the ground. He had a dark grey bat pony beside him and trailing behind the two of them, were six little fillies and colts. All eight of them were wearing heavy winter clothing (winter booties, scarves, beanies, and vests those lucky bitches) and a few of the foals were enjoying ice cream cones (bucking what? With this weather?!).

The stallion tilted his head at the trio. "Is there something we should be worried about?" he asked quizzically.

The night guard cleared her throat. "A-hem. No sir, we're just looking for a lost stallion."

The stallion's wife grabbed her stallion's foreleg with a hoof. "See honey, I told you!"

The stallion smiled back at his wife. "Well you never know! It might be unlikely but I betcha meeting a diplomat is rare!"

All three of the royal guards' ears perked up. "Did you say meeting a diplomat?" asked the night guard.
.
Long explanation short, somehow, the diplomat they were after had decided to interact with this small family of ponies, without causing any issues. The two day guards thought back to their original orders, thinking about the reports of a crazed stallion. What had changed?

The three of them were also all pointed in the direction of where to head next, in terms of trying to track down the stallion. He was headed straight for Canterlot Castle! From this spot at the frozen lake, the diplomat's trail was a straight line going there. Better yet, it meant that they didn't have to keep trudging through snow and could just leave the frozen hell scape that was this park and go to the general area of where'd he be once his path would be leaving the snow.

Unfortunately for the three royal guards, once they had gotten to the general area of where the path would end in the snow, they found that he had already left the park. Worse yet, his trail was already partially snowed back in, meaning that he had long since left the area and gained a huge lead away from them. They had assumed that they would have ample time in catching up to the Yakutian as he would be taking the slow path, ie making his own path and trudging through the heavy snow.

If only they had known that Yakutians traveled through body deep snow for basically half of their active life. If anything, Yakutians were faster when trudging through snow.

-X-X-X-

Snowball stared at the massive building known as Canterlot Castle. Lots and lots of mares were guarding it.

Chapter 7: Guard Duty

Canterlot Castle, the home of the two royal sisters that literally controlled day and night. It was a literal Palace made of marble and gilded and decorated by the finest artists in all of Equestria. A bastion that represented the might of the country, guarded by the best that Equestria had to offer. Her royal guards, both day and night, were some of the most effective soldiers and law enforcement officers had to show off.

Every entrance was guarded by a pair of royal guards and patrols constantly went throughout the castle for security reasons. It was a natural state of affairs for the castle. Of course, everypony knew and could very obviously see this. Guards weren't the only ponies that would be roaming the castle either. There would be maids, janitors, culinary workers, gardeners and many other various types of support staff for the castle. There were enough ponies inside that one or two extra ponies more than usual would be hard to determine. It was very easy to tell who was who though. Royal guards obviously wore whatever guard uniform their service dictated while the other support staff either wore collars, suits, maid outfits, or whatever else was dictated.

When Snowball trotted up to a wall that bordered and cordoned off the castle to the public. The wall looked like it was made of the same stone material as the rest of the castle, some form of white stone that was polished to a slight shine. He trotted alongside the wall until he found an opening that would let him in closer to the castle. This opening had a guard shack on each side of the entrance and had a singular royal guard standing in each shack.

-X-X-X-

The royal guard inside of entrance control point #13-1 was bored. Being an Entry Control Point guard was easily one of the worse possible duties and he was assigned to work it constantly. It was all because he was a stallion. The stallions in the royal guard were heavily outnumbered by the mares in the royal guard (just like everything else in Equestria) and only the stallions were assigned ECP guard duty. Horseapples, why couldn't he get a law enforcement shift for once.

Everypony knew why stallions were given the ECP shifts. They were meant as eye candy for the public. They still had the same training and capabilities as the female royal guards and were capable of performing every other royal guard task and shifts but they would most likely just get light duties like ECP. The few times any stallion got a serious duty shift, nopony would take them seriously, being a stallion.

There wasn't much to working a ECP shifts. It lasted two hours and you had to stand there, looking pretty for the public while stopping anypony from entering. Because of this, it was quite hard to do. If you weren't actively doing something like addressing somepony, you just had to stand there. Which means, you are standing there... For two solid hours.

It was quite easy to just stop paying attention to the world and just sort-of fall asleep standing while still partially keeping a little bit of consciousness. You just had to wake yourself up when you noticed anypony approaching, something that was also pretty easy to do in Canterlot because the roads were made of cobblestone and hooves were very audible with the stereotypical clip-clop noise. Even if you didn't hear somepony trotting up to you, you would certainly have to address them when you noticed them in your line of sight.

Unfortunately for the royal guard at entrance control point #13-1, when Snowball trotted right in front of him, mere meters away, Brass Bushing stayed in his state of half-consciousness/half-unconsciousness state , doing nothing. Snowball even trotted over to look at the other royal guard in the other royal guard shack that was positioned a dozen meters away from the other one and went completely unnoticed. When there was no reaction from the other royal guard, Snowball just trotted right into Canterlot Castle's courtyard, unabated.

Nothing had roused either guard to a state of full consciousness/alertness because Snowball had made nary a noise trotting up to them and when he entered their lines of sight, he blended in perfectly with the background of the snowed in status of Canterlot. Even in a state of full alertness, it would have proven quite the challenge to spot him against all of this snow.

Author's Note

from 1st hand experience when I stood guard or had staff duty/CQ shifts in the army, entry control is fucking boring. Also, its quite boring to just stare at something straight ahead for long periods of time. My record is nine days without interruption while doing literally nothing

Chapter 8: Sneak 100

Canterlot castle was as large as it was embellished. It was the face and heart of Equestria, where the diarchal princesses lived, where the military made its primary home at, and where most of country's trade ran through. If you were trotting through the halls of the castle, you either worked there or were being escorted. In this case, well, neither applied.

Snowball, after entering through a door (which had taken him a few second seconds to figure out), trotted through the halls undisturbed. The castle was something that amazed him. It was made out of rock (marble)! Every building he had ever seen, up until now, was either an igloo type building made out of snow or ice or a setup tent that was made of fur or cloth. Every building he had interacted with in his entire life had been temporary, only meant to be used for short periods of time before moving on within a week or so. So was the life of a constantly migrating pack of Yakutians.

He had every reason for somepony else to stop or bother him. He wore no uniform, was unescorted, and was a Yakutian, a subtype of pony that was essentially never in Equestria. Fortunately for Snowball, he would only be stopped or bothered if somepony actually spotted him. The insides of Canterlot Castle was as embellished as the outside was embellished. Every season, the inside was redecorated to match. This means, it was decorated to match the holiday. This translated to green and red trims decorated everything. The green and red trims were the secondary color used to decorate everything. The primary color was, you guessed it, white. The primary decision behind this was to save on the amount of work to decorate everything as the walls and floors were made of white marble.

Snowball, when he stood in front of the white walls, or on the white floors, was essentially invisible. However, somepony could obviously see him when he stood on any of the definitely-not-white rugs or in front of the definitely-not-white tapestries and curtains/decorations, such as a suit of armor. You'd have to specifically be on the lookout for somepony like Snowball.

Normally, anypony behind the walls of Canterlot castle wouldn't have to put much effort into noticing that somepony else was there. Whenever hooves trotted on the ancient marble floors of the castle, the resounding clop would reverberate through the halls, indicating that somepony was there. However, this case involved a Yakutian. Yakutians were the silent migrators of the north. Living way beyond the Crystal Empire, they spent most of their lives in snow. The north was a cruel and inhospitable field of white where you had to trot carefully as every careless step would result in a resounding crunch in a usually silent environment, signaling to any nearby predators where meals could be found.

Naturally, nopony noticed Snowball. That is, until the moment when he had decided to spent some of his attention towards a suit of armor. While Snowball's attention was diverted, he was left standing in the middle of a hallway on a spot in between floor rugs, where he near flawlessly blended in with the white marble he stood on. A female batpony maid, who was making her way through the halls by hovering, accidentally flew into Snowball. Crashing into Snowball was the best case scenario for anypony to accidentally fly-crash into due to the shear amount of fur that Snowball sported, it being a natural soft cushion.

The mare bounced off of him and landed on her flank, dazed from the interruption in her flying. Looking to where she had intended to go, she was confused as she seemingly had no obstacle that could have posed enough of a barrier to have had stopped her in such a manor. That was when she finally realized that somepony was in front of her when the pony in question blinked twice.

Snowball had thought about running from the mare, his past experiences with other mares in Equestria being rather negative, but this mare had something about her that roused his interest enough for him to bait him into standing there. She was wearing the most peculiar outfit that Snowball had seen. To anypony in Equestria, they'd recognize her as wearing a stereotypical maid outfit but to Snowball, he recognized nothing. It peaked his interest as clothing and fashion in general wasn't really something that Yakutians practiced. He tilted his head a few times in both directions, trying to take it all in.

Meanwhile, Snowball's meticulous screening had given the maid enough time to discern what/who she was dealing what. "Deepest apologies sir! I wasn't aware of your presence!" the batpony loudly apologized. She was hoping this wouldn't cause her much of a reprimand. Considering she was dealing with a stallion, she was dearly hoping that he wouldn't exaggerate the situation to any of the castle's higher authorities/supervisors. She gestured behind herself with a wing. "Day court will be ending soon for the holidays."

That was when she realized that the stallion in question was just here, by himself. He wasn't wearing anything like that of Canterlot's population. He was by himself so he obviously wasn't a visitor, being escorted by no one, nor was he a member of the castle's staff, having no uniform. The smallest inkling in her mind suggested that he was some sort of criminal element but was dashed away by the logic of him being a stallion and the fact that he hadn't bolted like anypony in such a career field.

That raised the question, what was he doing in this castle? His unique appearance, that of being a Yakutian with a beautful fluffy coat of snow white fur, further raised the inquiry. When Snowball gave no reply to her statement and continued to take in her appearance, the maid opened her mouth again. "Sir? Can I help you? I can take the responsibility of escorting you safely to where ever you need to go! It is my duty as a mare to make up for my mistake and to protect a stallion such as yourself!"

Snowball raised an eyebrow at such a statement but mentally shrugged and pulled out the same letter he had been showed to the family that he had met at the park. He showed the letter to the batpony in question who took the scroll in her wing and read it. When she read the contents of the letter, the once bluish grey batpony turned white. She had assaulted the diplomat of another nation! She had frozen up at the thought that her life was over. She would have been a good stand-in for one of the marble busts that decorated the castle considering the fact that she had turned white and made the same amount of movement as one of them. However, the sound of her heart beating loudly would have betrayed her true status of not being a marble statue. She wasn't ready to go to the dungeon! It would have been a lonely existence being locked up down there, though it wouldn't have made any difference to her romantic life considering her failed dating life this year, she truly hadn't been able to see Snowball standing in the middle of the hallway when she had been flying.

She returned letter back to Yakut's diplomat and mentally debated her options. She obviously had to stick with the diplomat and explain the situation when he would inevitably describe the incident and portray her as some sort of alley vagrant assaulting an innocent passerby. She had two options as to where to escort the Yakutian to. The, by far, worse option would be to take him to meet Prince Blueblood who was supposed to be the pony designated to entertain diplomats. The prince would blow the situation way out of proportions and her name would end up in the press before she could blink. The next solution, which would still result in her public death, was to take him to Princess Celestia. She was the alpha mare of Equestria, and possibly the world, but she was still fare... Hopefully.

She left her thoughts and turned her attention back to the Yakutian... She shattered into a billion pieces, or felt like she shattered into a billion pieces. He had disappeared. She had thought that she had lost track of him with how he blended in with the walls but after some searching, she realized that he was gone. Welp. She heard the dungeon jailers were nice this time of the year. She had frozen in the meantime, long enough that by the time she had been roused from her paralysis, other castle staff had gathered around her and had been trying to figure out why there was a mime dressed up as one of the castle's maids and performing amazingly in a random section of the castle's hallways with no apparent reason.

Author's Note

enjoy.

Chapter 9: A New Friend

A very important and powerful member of Equestria's Night Guard was roaming the halls of Canterlot Castle. It was coming close to the end of the work day and she was getting ready to meet her compatriot once the day shift ended. Floating in the air, via a light blue magic field, were two steaming hot cups of hot cocoa beautifully topped with whipped cream, mini marshmallows, and chocolate shavings. She hummed a nice little tune as she moved. It was the holidays and ponies could finally start to have fun and relax.

As she trotted, the tink-tink of her horseshoe caps resounded through the halls. There weren't that many other ponies currently in the halls of Canterlot Castle. Most of the castle staff had already started their holidays and number of guards that populated the castle were gone. Not from holiday, no. They were gone because, right as the holiday started, some dastardly criminal was going around assaulting innocent mares! In addition to that, Celestia's incompetent day guards had managed to lose an important diplomatic envoy that was visiting to witness Equestria's Winter holidays! It was strange how all of the interesting bits always happened during the holidays.

Right as she trotted along, her predator-like eyes noticed some movement in her field of view. It was like someone or something was there, hiding and ready to strike. She paused her next step and very carefully scanned the area with her very well developed and practiced senses. It took her a few precious seconds, enough time to give somepony to strike, when she noticed what was the source.

Standing in the hallway, was a stallion. As the mare was trotting through the halls, the stallion had stepped aside to let her trot pass. She relaxed as the fur on her body that had rose in tension, went back to its usual position. He hadn't been hiding, waiting to strike like some kind of assassin. He just naturally blended in with the castle's interior enough to give the false impression of.

The two starred at each other for what seemed like an eternity, when in reality it was only a few seconds. "Hello," she greeted, breaking the ice. He hadn't responded, wanting to keep up the silence. He obviously wasn't a member of the castle staff, she had all of their names and faces memorized. From what little of his physique that could be seen under all of that magnificently beautiful fluffy immaculate white fur, he could have easily been a Day Guard but his face didn't match any of their faces, she having also memorized all of the Day Guard's names and faces. Perhaps he was just a visitor, one meant for Celestia or Blueblood?

"Are you a visitor?" she asked. Instead of saying anything, the stallion nodded. Well, at least that got her somewhere. She smiled. "Are you here for Prince Blueblood?" The stallion stared back at her, clearly not recognizing the name. "Perhaps Princess Celestia?" The stallion turned his head slightly upon hearing the name and nodded in response. The mare nodded back. "I can lead you to her! Just follow me!" The stallion raised an eyebrow at the mare, tentative at her offer. "I insist. Besides, the layout of these castles rival that of the labyrinths of old. Wouldn't want you to get loss!" The stallion paused for a second before nodding.

Finally getting somewhere, she got to take a good look at the stallion. She very easily recognized the stallion as a Yakutian, which surprised even her. She had met the Yakutians before. It had been a miserably cold experience and this had been long, long ago. Yakutians never left their home lands so seeing one here in the flesh in Equestria was like seeing both of Equestria's princesses in public at the same time. Things got more interesting when she recognized the very intricate long triple chain white silver necklace that the stallion wore. This stallion was a member of the Yakutian royalty! Er, the equivalent of royalty when it comes to Yakutians. She remembered when the chain necklace was shorter. Time really passes.

She was very happy to see the crescent attached to the necklace. She knew the crescent was a symbol of the Yakutian's respect for the night. Yakutians, living so close to the polar end of the planet, would spend months in non stop darkness, followed by months of nonstop daytime. She also knew that the crescent was no mere necklace but a piece of Yakutian practicality. It was a traditional Ulu knife, and a very nice example of one.

She faced her head away from the stallion, while keeping her body pointed at him. She then picked up one of her forelegs and put it across her chest fluff and bowed. If she remember correctly, that was how the Yakutians showed respect to each other. The stallion, surprised, copied her and bowed back respectfully in response. "Let's get you to Celestia before Day Court ends."

The stallion smiled and nodded. Right before the mare took off trotting again, she floated down one of the cups of cocoa to the stallion. She had intended to have a cup with her peer but she could get one for herself later. The stallion almost seemed frightened at the floating cup but took it after a few tentative sniffs. The smell brought him in. The smell of chocolate, something he probably never smelled before tempted him to at least humor the mare. The stallion held the cup and looked back at the mare who was waiting with a polite smile. It took him an almost embarrassing amount before the stallion realized that it was a beverage.

The instant he took a sip, the only thing that stopped him from downing the whole thing was how hot it was. One small sip was followed by a big sip before he presented the unfinished cup to her. It took her a few seconds before she realized what he was doing. She took the cup, via hoof, and took her own sip, sharing the drink with him.

And then, they were off.

-X-X-X-

As Day Court wound down. Princess Celestia was sitting on her throne, on edge. Early on in the day, it had been so boring that she had wished onto the heavens that something would interrupt the monotony of having to deal with the nobles' idiotic requests all day but she didn't mean it like this! Losing a diplomat of such importance and a rogue criminal!? Why did the heavens have to monkey-paw answer her wishes?! A million thoughts went through her mind, even as her attention was focused on humoring the selfish requests of the noble that was standing in front of her and rambling.

In addition to the noble and the princess, there were a number of day guards, as usual. Out of the ordinary was a member of the night guard, one that had been waiting to give an update to both of the major situations. Heavens above, she wished that this noble would finally finish up and leave so she could deal with this holiday buck-up of proportions.

Just as that thought went through her mind, the doors to the throne room opened up and surprisingly, her sister trotted in. She had a smile on her face, a true one, not the usual politician's smile. She was magically holding two cups of cocoa and surprisingly, she was followed by a Yakutian stallion.

Chapter 10: Diplomatic Relations

Celestia had the noble rushed out as Luna magically gave her one of the cups of cocoa, to which she gladly took. She took a sip from it, draining it partially. When the level of fluid in the cup obviously went down, she used some magic to raise it back up to full. However, instead of more hot cocoa, it was bourbon from her personal stores.

Meanwhile, her sister and the Yakutian trotted up to her, to which the guards took a wary disliking of. The guards in the room started moving towards the Yakutian but Princess Luna waved them off. It didn't stop them from being on edge, ready to pounce. Princess Celestia wondered if her sister's decision was the best idea, this being a complete stranger to both of them, but the two of them were happily passing/sharing a hot cup of cocoa.

The two of them got close to her, almost uncomfortably so. Luna had a pretty obvious reason, she was her sister and took a position beside her both literally right now and metaphorically. The Yakutian, an unknown, got within spitting distance of her, barely being a hoof length away. This really was not a help to the guard's paranoid moods, especially with the spear that he was carrying.

Since he had gotten this close to her, Princess Celestia noticed the same things that her sister had done previously, that this stallion was likely a member of Yakutian royalty (the equivalent of royalty), he was barely an adult stallion, was incredibly well built musculature wise, and wore a dense fluffy white fur coat of legends.

She opened her mouth. "I am Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria and you are in my day court. How may I help you?" she asked. The stallion turned his head aside and started digging through one of his saddlebags. While she waited for him to find what he was looking for, she turned to look at the only night guard in the room. "What info is it that you have for me?" she politely asked.

The night guard, nervously saluted. "We have ascertained that the rogue element loose on the streets assaulting ponies as the lost Yakutian diplomat!" the night guard reported. Just as the night guard had reported what she was here for, the Yakutian standing in front of Celestia pulled a letter scroll from his bags and presented it to her. Celestia recognized the broken wax seal on he presented scroll from her personal stamp meant for diplomatic and political use. She didn't even need to peruse the letter to figure out who this stallion was.

Putting on a political smile, she took the letter. "Yes, we're happy to have you in our country and apologize that we couldn't escort you to the castle. How was you trip to the castle?"

The Yakutian stallion blinked at her. "Your ponies, mean and rude," he quietly and slowly spoke to her. His voice was gentle and nurturing, almost reassuring to hear. He had barely spoken above a whisper and Luna, standing beside Celestia, had barely heard the stallion, even with her well practiced predator-like hearing. "I have gift." He pulled the spear out from his side, sending all of the guards in the room scrambling to intercept him but Celestia held a hoof up to stop them.

He presented the spear to her and she took by hoof. It was a very primitive thing. The wood was bleached white and probably lifetimes old. The blade on the spear, however, was made from a piece of crystal or possibly a gem that had been shaped into a spear blade. The stallion turned to the Princess Luna and pulled something out of his saddlebags for her. It was a large chunk of the same material as the spear's blade and a large chunk of scrimshaw that was gorgeously and intricately carved and engraved. Princess Luna took the gift in her hoof and looked over the crystal/gem. Her eyes slowly widened as she looked it over.

Celestia laid the spear upright against her throne and stood up, took her left foreleg and put it across her chest fluff and bowed. The stallion repeated the gesture to her. "Thank you for these gifts," Celestia said. "We do not have anything to give to you back in exchange but will you stay with us as under our care as a gesture of kindness to make up for what you have experienced so far?"

The stallion looked at the nearby day guards, who were still poised to pounce. They were the same kind of mares that had attacked him earlier in the day. Then he looked to Princess Luna who was holding the cup of cocoa that the two of them had been sharing, it nearly being empty now. The stallion nodded once, slowly, accepting the offer. "Huzzah!" exclaimed Princess Luna.

Princess Celestia gestured to the night guard that had given her the situation update. "If you follow her, she can show you where to stay and we can arrange some activities for you to do." The stallion looked at the night guard and his ears twitched while his tail flicked around, nervously.

Princess Luna noticed the Yakutian's agitation. "Did we not send escorts to intercept your arrival to our wonderous city?" she asked.

The Yakutian ear twitched more, almost adorably with all of that ear tuff. "Crazy mares attack me."

Princess Celestia's right eyes twitched upon hearing that. She scanned the room until her eyes laid upon a day guard stallion. "Would you prefer a stallion to escort you?" The Yakutian nodded. Celestia motioned to the one stallion day guard and he walked up to the Yakutian. Snowball bowed once again to Celestia. "I, Snowball," he said, finally introducing himself.

Celestia bowed back. "I hope you enjoy your upcoming time in Canterlot, Snowball." With that, Snowball and the day guard stallion started walking away from the sisters.

Luna turned to her sister and held up the scrimshaw. "What a lovely stallion, too bad about what he said. Why would any mare attack a preciously little innocent stallion as himself?" Celestia gestured back to the Yakutian who was just about to step out of the enormous room that made up day court and said nothing. Luna wondered what her sister meant and then realized what her sister was implying.

As the Yakutian was walking away with his those beautiful white legs of his, she noticed he was wearing nothing but his saddlebags. "How scandalous Yakutians must dress!" Unlike the day guard stallion that Snowball was following, he was not wearing armor and more importantly, no underwear like a jock strap or ball bra. Combined with those unshorn fetlocks (rawr) and the toned muscle underneath that magnificently fluffy white winter coat of his, he could have been mistaken for a stallion presenting himself to be claimed by a mare for a herd.

Just as a rather naughty thought came to Luna's mind, the door to day court opened up and six guards mares, half day guards, trotted into the room. All six of the guards had armor covered in snow and were in various states of mess. One even had a black eye and what appeared to be a broken nose. One of the day guards approached her and saluted. "We believe we found where the lost diplomat might be!" the day guard reported.

Celestia took a drink from her cup, it now being mostly bourbon.

Chapter 11: Bedroom activities

Snowball was assigned a diplomatic living quarters, one that consisted of a enormous bed room, an equally enormous bath room, and a dining area. A pair of royal guards, a stallion day guard unicorn and a mare night guard bat mare, led the Yakutian to the room. They had offered to carry the stallion's bags for him but he refused, preferring to carry it himself. The day guard led the way while the night guard stayed at the rear to keep watch.

That and she wanted to check out the Yakutian's goods. Emphasis on goods. As Snowball's name would suggest, the Yakutian's coat was as white as snow and was dense. The mare had never seen a winter coat like this Yakutian was sporting and she wondered what it would feel like to cuddle up against it, being the big or little spoon in a cuddle puddle. Even with the density of this coat, the mare could see all of the muscles that Snowball was carrying. It was all toned muscle, muscle that looked like it came from a lifetime of zero lazy-ing about. He wasn't a huge pony like a strong pony but he wasn't exactly a lanky pony like what Canterlot's Unicorn elite liked to strut with.

As a bat pony, the night guard quickly noticed something unsettling about the way Snowball trotted about. He made zero noise. As a bat pony, her hearing was powerful, strong enough that she could use echolocation to walk blind folded if she needed. Even then, her hearing couldn't detect noise from the Yakutian. His hooves made no noise, his saddle bags didn't rattle around like Equestrian ones, and she couldn't even detect a heartbeat. It was... Disconcerting. All the while, as the two royal guards walked, their armor rattled, their hooves went clip-clop on the marble floor, and their weapons clinked against their armor.

When they reached the room, Snowball was quite enamored. He was familiar with the concept of beds but what they had provided for him was absolutely mind blowing. The square bed was at least fifteen paces across and could probably be big enough for forty of his folk to sleep on. It was also much thicker and softer than what he was used to sleeping on, ie a single layer of a fur pelt. Snowball looked at the bed in amazement, looking between the bed and the guards that accompanied him.

The day guard, realizing what the Yakutian was thinking about, having dealt with foreign diplomats, patted the bed with a hoof. "This will be your bed, sir, just yours," the stallion answered.

The Yakutian's eyes went wide. How wealthy, the Equestrians must be, if they were able to provide everypony with something like this to sleep on? He looked around the rest of the room, seeing two other doors and large bay windows that provided a view of the rest of Canterlot. Seeing the outside, he walked up to the window, only to stop, when his face impacted the glass. Snowball was quite confused. He looked forward again, walking slower, and again, walked face first into the glass. He reached up with a hoof and touched the glass. To him, an invisible barrier was blocking him from moving any further. Looking back to the guards, he raised a brow. "Where is the exit?"

The guards were confused. "Do you need something, sir?" the day guard asked.

The Yakutian looked back at the window. "I have to wee," Snowball answered back.

It a took a few seconds for both royal guards to realize what he had said before they both had to suppress their urge to laugh. Years of experience kept both of them of making a mockery of the foreigner. "You have a restroom en suite to your bedroom, sir," the day guard answered.

Snowball once again, raised a brow. "Rest... Room?" he asked. The day guard once again led the Yakutian, though this walk was shorter. Instead of entering the room first, they simply led him to the door that led to the rest room. Snowball looked at the door and then reached forward with a hoof and pushed. It didn't budge. The day guard realized what Snowball was doing and trotted up to the door, grabbed the door's handle, and turned it, pushing it open. The restroom had a sink, toilet, shower, and bath tub, the usual amenities. However, nothing was familiar to Snowball.

The day guard sighed. This was gonna take a while.

Chapter 12: Hearing Problems

Snowball's pair of royal guard level of patience and etiquette was displayed, though Snowball was too oblivious to notice, when they had to show Snowball the concept of a toilet and how to use it. The two guards' patience were further tested when they had to show what a sink was and the concept of washing your hooves afterwords. To be fair, all of this was new to Snowball, having come from a civilization that wasn't even capable of producing their own metals, instead scavenging or trading for it instead. It was somewhat amusing to the night guard mare, seeing this level of naivety from a fully grown adult pony, but rather vexing to the day guard stallion, who saw the situation as him having to babysit an adult pony. Either way, all of this was an enlightening situation to Snowball, who was amazed by everything the modern world provided. One example being running water, especially hot water, seen as a mystifying concept to the Yakutian.

Snowball was especially grateful for the assistance of the two royal guards, becoming less distrustful of the Equestrians. He still had his misgivings towards the Equestrians though. Once he was finished with the restroom, he had exited the room back to the company of the two royal guards. However, before either of the two royal guards could address them, he walked past them and over to the bed, eying it with awe.

The day guard stallion cleared his throat and directed his attention at Snowball. "Sir, if you would like to retire for the day, we will leave you to your rest," the stallion announced. It was now nighttime and Canterlot was shifting into its night life.

The Yakutians ears flickered around, working like miniature radar dishes in war time through war. After a few seconds, Snowball looked at the stallion. "You not stay?" he asked.

The stallion, with as much decorum as he could display, shook his head. "No sir, if you do not need our assistance, we will take our leave," the stallion answered.

Snowball looked over to the night guard mare with some distrust in his eyes. "You leave too?" he asked.

As much as the night guard wanted to stay with such a strapping specimen of a stallion in this world where so few stallions existed, she had to be professional. "No sir, I will leave with my colleague," the night guard mare answered.

While Snowball's attention was squarely concentrated at the two royal guards, his ears were still actively clearly moving around, concentrated on Celestia-knows-what. It was if his ears had a mind of their own. Finally, Snowball turned to look towards one of the windows. "And her?" he asked, his attention directed at one of the room's large windows that allowed any guest to enjoy the beautiful view of Canterlot. It was a massive bay window that dwarfed every pony and was accompanied by equally large and beautiful drapes to cover the windows.

Both of the royal guards were unsure of what he was talking about. The day guard stallion, thinking as if the Yakutian had the mental capacity of a mere child, thought it was just nervous jitters as if a colt was complaining to his parents about monsters under their bed. Meanwhile, the night guard mare was completely mystified from his questioning.

Before any of the two royal guards could question the stallion's thoughts, a mare stepped out from behind one of the window's drapes, revealing another night guard mare. However, this mare was wearing an entirely different uniform compared to the other present night guard. While the uniform she sported had the same colors and general theme of the night guards, her uniform implied something special, looking custom. This new night guard mare's uniform sported no visible metal and was noticeably less protective than standard night guard uniforms.

Both royal guard escorts recognized the mare as a night-stalker, the night guard's personal retinue of elite soldiers specialized in sneaking around. The night-stalkers were also known amongst the day guard and even the regular night guards as being extra weird/creepy ponies that did not know the concept of personal space or privacy. Both of Snowball's escorts were nonplussed. The regular day guard stallion trotted over to the new mare and grabbed the night-stalker's ear with his telekinesis. "Night-stalker or not, give the poor stallion some breathing room!" the day guard exclaimed while dragging the mare out of the room by her ear.

As the night-stalker voiced her grievances while being extricated from the room, the other mare turned back to the Yakutian and bowed. "I am terribly sorry sir, I will personally deal with this disservice," the normal night guard apologized.

Snowball, still completely oblivious to how being a diplomat worked, tilted his head at the mare. "Ok," he plainly answered.

The door slammed shut from the day guard exiting, causing both Snowball and the night guard to flinch from the loud noise. To any other pony, it was just a loud noise but to them, it was on the verge of being deafening. The mare looked back over to the curtain that the night-stalker that had been hiding behind. "So, uh, how'd you know she was there?" the night guard asked.

Snowball tilted his head, shooting her a look of curiosity. "You not hear her too?" he asked.

The night guard raised an eyebrow. As a batpony, she had excellent hearing, so much so that she had the natural ability of echolocation but she hadn't heard a thing that would have indicated that the night-stalker was there. Having heard the stallion's answer, she wondered if he had a similar ability. "Can Yakutians echolocate?" she asked which only yielded a raised brow from Snowball. "Like, if you close your eyes, can you see where something is, with your hearing?"

Snowball's inquisitive look grew and he shook his head. "No," he answered.

'Maybe I didn't explain it right?', she thought. She closed her eyes and stepped away from the stallion. She focused on just her hearing. Snowball was about to question what she was doing but then she trotted forward. She was about to trot directly into Snowball and he was just about to step out of her way but she then changed direction and trotted around him. She then continued walking and was about to trot into the bed but she then completely stopped. Next, she started trotting backwards and kept going until her flank was about to hit the wall on the other side of the room. Just like with the bed, she stopped trotting right before she hit the wall. During the entire ordeal, her eyes were closed and she used the sound of her hooves bouncing off of the marble floor to use as her "eyes".

When she opened her eyes back up, she was assaulted by the adorable image of Snowball smiling and clapping two hooves together to applaud her. Even as he tapped his two front hooves together, they made no noise. She smirked and trotted back over to the stallion. "Here, why don't you try?" she asked.

Snowball shot her a look of disagreement but closed his eyes nonetheless. Just like she had done, he had started trotting forward and right as he was about to trot into the thestral, he stopped. Then, he started trotted backwards. After some hoofsteps, he was getting really close to the bed but unlike her, he didn't stop and trotted into it, not knowing it had been there. Opening his eyes back up, he looked back at the batpony. "Not good at it," he proclaimed.

She chuckled and trotted closer to the stallion. "How'd you know when you were about to trot into me?" she asked out of suspicion.

"I heared you?" Snowball replied, as if it was the most obvious thing ever. It was the night guard's turn to give a look of questioning so he touched a hoof to her chest. "You breathe loud and your heart beats louder."

The night guard's eyes widened as she looked at him in awe. Was his hearing that sensitive? Was that also how he knew that a night-stalker had been hiding in the room? "Is that why you knew that, that other mare was hiding in the room?" she asked. Snowball nodded and she was even more surprised. The night-stalker had been hiding behind a pretty thick curtain, which should have been a decent sound insulator to hide her presence. "So, uh, you have some pretty sensitive ears, huh?" she asked while looking at his constantly twitching ears.

Snowball tilted his head at her again. "No?" he replied. "I am like other ponies in home tribe." Unbeknownst to Snowball, Yakutians had significantly more sensitive hearing compared to their Equestrian counterparts. They hadn't developed the ability to echolocate like thestrals because their environments didn't allow them too. To explain, a snow covered field absorbs a lot of sound so sound waves that tries to bounce back from a target will usually be absorbed. However, because Yakutians lived in such a sound dampened environment, they had to get used to hearing primary sources of noise instead of secondary ones in such an environment meaning their hearing naturally grew over time to hear the smallest noises from a distance. It was important that this adaptation occurred because the only other artificial noises in the frozen northern wastelands were predators or prey. If it was a prey, it was more food to survive and if it was predator, they'd want to avoid them as much as possible. Therefore, their hearing adapted over time.

The night guard wondered if Snowball was messing with her or if Yakutians truly did have hearing like he did. Either way, she couldn't tell from Snowball's poker face and or possible lack of knowledge. "Well, sir, I will leave you for your rest. Enjoy your sleep," she said. "If you require assistance, there are guards constantly roaming the castle during the entire night so just hail one of them."

Snowball scrunched up his nose. "Mares?" he asked.

The night guard wondered what he was implying but she nodded anyways to reply to said question. "Yes, most of the guards on tonight's patrol are mares," she replied.

Snowball then frowned from dissatisfaction. "Other mare guards crazy like other mares?" he asked.

She knew of what he had gone through so far in Equestria. Most of his only interactions with previous mares in Canterlot were quite negative, to say the least. She found it quite hilarious that this adorable ball of fluff was capable of causing such a streak of chaos, having decked half of Canterlot's mares into unconsciousness in reaction to some rather fast advances and fighting multiple day and night guards, besting them all. She chuckled and shook her head. "No, sir, these guards are normal, uh, like I am," she replied.

Snowball nodded once in acknowledgement, hoping that she wasn't a crazy mare that was lying to him. "I, Snowball," he said.

The mare nodded back to the stallion with a smile. "Nice to meet you Snowball," she greeted back, even though she already knew his name. She had obviously been given his name when she was assigned the task of escorting the Yakutian diplomat but she was trying to be polite. "I am Astral Blade."

Snowball nodded and climbed up onto the bed to lie down. A second later, he stood back up and circled around a few times before settling back down. With him curled up into a adorable ball of fluff, him and his beautifully magnificently thiccc white coat called out to her. 'Oomph', Astral Blade thought, the succulent fur ever so enticing her desires to climb onto the bed and cuddle him, increasing by the second. It took every ounce of her professional guard etiquette to muster up the willpower to pull herself away.

Once Astral Blade left the room, Snowball finally relaxed enough to fall asleep soon afterwards.

Author's Note

Sorry about not having made a chapter in such a long time, I've been dealing with many health complications and what time I have been writing, I've been dedicating it to my other fimfiction. But, here's one after a long hiatus. I haven't abandoned this story and will try to complete it. Anyways, enjoy the chapter and drop a comment, I enjoy reading them and if you have feedback, I'll try to remediate my problems.

Prologue

Equestria, a land of magic and friendship that is home to many sentient creatures that differ in personality, abilities, and cultures. The lands of Equestria, for the last few thousand years, they have been ruled by a pair of female alicorns that literally own the day and night. Naturally, the ponies caught onto the fact that their society had the basis of a pair of all powerful female creatures at their head and, being a herd species, followed the pattern. Mares ran the society and were the dominant gender. It also didn't help that all five members of the alicorns subspecies were also female.

Of course, you all already know that.

Now if you head north and I mean, REALLY north, way past Equestria's borders, you might meet some Yakutians. The Yakutians were the most northern creatures with legs that lived on the planet. Their origins are older than Equestria, barely.

One of the central reasons why the land of friendship and unity was founded was because wendigos were turning any patch of land into a barren icey wasteland that made it impossible to survive for any normal pony. Early on in Equestria's pre-history, there were some ponies that just straight up decided to just go along with the cold and adapted to it. However, once the wendigos were defeated and driven away, the cold also went away. However, the ponies that went along with the cold, kind of enjoyed being in the cold and just decided to go off on their own and stay in the cold. So to do that, they went north. REALLY north. There, you will find the country of Yakut, home of the mighty and proud Yakutians.

Now being REALLY north meant a lot of things that differed from Equestrian society. For one thing, permanent habitation wasn't possible and the Yakutians traveled all year long in small herds that were centered around multi-generation families. They didn't farm and lived off of the land, in the harshest environment known to anyone. Because of how harsh society was and the fact that there were no large collections of Yakutians living together, everypony did their share no matter the circumstance or status. Everypony was equally in this harsh environment together.

Being REALLY north also meant a few other unique things to their society. Wood and metal was rare, with it being impossible to mine or grow trees in the icey tundra. Food was not grown and they hunted and gathered what they could. This meant that there was never the same extreme abundance of food compared to their Equestrian counterparts leading to a much slower population growth, also compared to their Equestrian counterparts (looking at you, earth ponies). Their unique diet meant that they consumed a significant amount of protein in comparison to their REALLY south counterparts. In combination with their constant migration, they usually had a very defined, athletic build.

Oh and Yakutians were the cutest, fluffiest ponies in existence because of their permanent thiccc arctic coats.