Entry 1: Hello again. Is this thing on?
I’m totally not mad that Twilight had to go off and become ruler of the country.
I mean, that’d be totally childish, right? The rulership of an entire country is way more important than keeping in touch with one pony. That’s why I’m totally not mad. Can you hear just how mad I am not? I’m totally calm! No lingering anger issues here!
I mean, it’s not like I decided to give up my fire elemental form just to be with her, right? There’s lots of things to recommend about this place other than her… despite the rainclouds.
Like uh, Starlight! She’s great! She’s been a bit busy lately, what with being the new principal of Twilight’s School of Friendship, but she can still sometimes find time to fly a kite with me. She even figured out how to enchant this gem so I can dictate to it instead of Spike and it’ll read it all back to me, so I can keep a journal despite still learning how to read and write.
I… I guess this is the first time I’ve ever interacted with ponies when their world doesn’t revolve around me.
That… didn’t sound exactly right. What I mean to say is that when I was an elemental in a copper shell, any interaction was… an event. Everypony worked so hard to make sure that I was comfortable and nothing got singed, and now that that effort isn’t necessary, I guess I… miss it.
But that’s part of why I became a pony in the first place; while the thought that my friends here would accommodate me is reassuring, I didn’t want ponies to actually have to constantly pave the path I walked with ceramic tiles just so I could stay.
But I don’t want to spend this entire entry moping about that. Hello, again, whoever reads these things; it’s been a while since I did anything like this. I’m sure this entry will turn out to be very interesting.
First of all, living as a pony is hard. Some things are better than living in a pony-shaped copper tube, such as moving around. Flesh is just easier to move than metal, in case anypony was wondering. That, and I no longer make irritating clank clank clanking noises wherever I step anymore. However, some things are just… terrible. Eating, for instance. As a copper tube I had a small taste of what would be required of me as a pony, pun not intended, since I had to swallow fuel everyday to keep myself from going out, but as a pony it’s like, fifty percent worse. Not only do you have to swallow things, you have to be careful not to swallow them until you’ve chewed them into mush that won’t stick in your throat on the way down. Which, in my opinion, is just vaguely gross. My first time eating as a pony, I tried to swallow one of Pinkie’s cupcakes whole, and Applejack had to perform a heimlich maneuver to keep me from choking. I refused to eat anything but oatmeal and applesauce for a while after that.
Tasting things is new, by the way. I think Pinkie was expecting something profound from my first true taste experience, but I think it was a bit marred by almost dying. I categorically deny any allegations of looking off into the middle distance and murmuring ‘sugar’ afterward. Claims otherwise are lies and slander.
Back to living as a pony, were you aware that ponies regularly submerge themselves in water in order to get the dirt off of their coats?I mean, of course you probably did. if you’re reading this you’re literate and therefore were probably raised with it. I think I’d prefer the dirt. Of course, after a week Rarity started to notice and threatened to have the CMC ambush me with water balloons so I could get some semblance of cleanliness. I relented, but settled for going over my coat with a coarse, damp brush every other day so Rarity couldn’t find cause to complain.
Oh, and are you aware that some ponies take extra baths for fun? I learned that when Rarity and Fluttershy invited me to join them on their weekly trip to the spa; the instant I saw the tub and the mud baths I hard noped it out of there and I haven’t looked back since. From half-heard conversations and whispers I think they might be scheming to try and get me back inside sometime, but they’ll have to catch me first.
For now I’m staying in Twilight’s castle. I guess now we can call it Twilight’s old castle; y’know, the tree-like crystal one she used before moving to canterlot full-time. It’s very… empty. I think I’ll be glad when I can afford a place of my own that will feel less… hollow. Of course that’s proven tricky, since the CMC have had trouble finding me a job. That’s not for lack of ideas, mind you. The CMC have had all sorts of good concepts for jobs I could try, but… not a lot worked out. Granted, there are a lot of things I could theoretically do as well as any other pony now that I’m a unicorn, even things entirely unrelated to my new Cutie Mark, but ponyville is a bit short on jobs since there’s been a bit of an influx of immigrants to ponyville since Twilight moved out.
Not that there’s any shortage of charity from Twilight’s friends, but… that’s not really what I want. I want to be useful. I want to know that I’m not just a burden on the ponies around me.
I uh, guess that’s all I wanted to say. Now how do I turn this thing off?
Entry 3: I categorically deny all accusations of nervousness!
I don’t think I truly appreciated how scary moving to a new place is until this morning. I woke up and was suddenly terrified of… everything. What if I can’t make any friends in canterlot? What if I break Fluttershy’s heart? Or Pinkie’s? Would Starlight be mad? Would Rarity? Would this one move successfully burn all the bridges I’d built here in ponyville?
On some level, I knew that most of these fears, if not all of them, were entirely unfounded, but the dread remained despite that.
Fluttershy had invited me to a small picnic with our mutual friends, minus Twilight, naturally, since she was a bit busy with royal duties today. It was then that I decided to tell everypony about my decision. Part of me wanted to write and ask Twilight to push the sun forward so it could be lunchtime already and I could get it over with, and part of me wanted to ask her to delay as long as possible.
I honestly don’t even know if that’s how pony time works. Is everypony on the princess’s clock, or is she on everypony else’s?
Regardless, Lunchtime arrived at about the same time it did every day, and I arrived in the large, grassy field adjacent to Twilight’s old castle and the School of Friendship no less jittery than I had been that morning.
Fluttershy smiled softly at me from her spot atop the red-checkered blanket she’d laid out. I smiled back, unable to feel like the expression was genuine. I shuddered involuntarily. Fluttershy frowned.
“Are you alright, Emerald?” She asked quietly as I approached.
“Y-eah.” I said clumsily. “I, um…who else is already here?”
“Nopony, actually.” Fluttershy said. “You’re a bit early, in fact. I was just enjoying the sunshine with Angel for a bit.”
I shuffled back and forth uncomfortably as I took note of the small white bunny that was sunbathing nearby. He opened one eye for a moment, but otherwise didn’t acknowledge me. I always have the sense he still hasn’t quite forgiven me for almost trampling over him that one time I was running from Twilight, no matter what Fluttershy says.
Sparks, that seems like years ago now, even if it’s only been a few weeks.
“Oh…” I said as soon as my brain caught up with my thoughts. “I guess I’ll just, um…”
I sat on my haunches awkwardly. After a few seconds of silence I started shifting my weight between my left and right sides. Fluttershy looked on uncertainly.
“Um, Emerald, are you sure you’re fine?” she asked.
“Well, I uh…”
Before I could formulate a proper response, a familiar voice yanked our collective attention away.
“Oh, dear! I thought I was here early.” Rarity said as she approached, toting a picnic basket and wearing a stylish sun hat.
“You are early.” Fluttershy said. “I think Emerald was feeling nervous, so she showed up early too.”
“What? No! Who said anything about feeling nervous?” I said as my gaze flickered rapidly between the two mares. I tried to conjure a genuine smile, but all I could manage was a crooked, lopsided grin that didn’t quite reach my eyes. They both independently shot me a disbelieving look and my fake expression withered. I switched strategies and tried to look casual.
“Uh, you know, there are just… some things… happening.” I stuttered.
“Is this still about our visit to the spa?” Rarity asked.
“What? No! No no no!” I said emphatically.
“Because I’m sure that you’d be able to have a fabulous time if you just let yourself unwind-”
“This isn’t about the spa, and I’d prefer to keep it that way, thank you!”
Rarity shrugged, as if to say, suit yourself.
“So what are you nervous about?” Fluttershy asked.
“Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Everything is fine!” I said back.
“Why is ‘everything fine’?” Starlight said as she approached from the general direction of the school.
“Emerald is nervous about something.” Rarity said.
“I’m not nervous!” I said quickly.
“Oh. okay. What are you not-nervous about?” Starlight said casually.
“That doesn’t even make any sense!” I said.
“Makes sense to me…” Fluttershy mumbled.
“Then I’m not-nervous about everything! Because I’m not nervous at all!” I replied.
“Howdy Y’all!” Applejack said as she approached from behind me. “What’s goin’ on?”
I saw Starlight’s mouth opening, and shut it with a pointing hoof. “Do not say I’m nervous!”
“Oh, okay. What’s Emerald all not-nervous about?” Applejack said. I threw my hooves up in defeat.
“She won’t tell us.” Fluttershy replied to Applejack.
“Oh, it’s one of them friendship problems.” Applejack said back as she set a pie down on the picnic blanket; I’ll give you three guesses what flavor it was.
“It’s not a friendship problem, it’s not a problem at all!”
Applejack shrugged. “Kinda sounds like a friendship problem, but what do ah know? I’m just the Element of Honesty is a-”
I shot up a hoof to silence her, because I heard the telltale ‘sproing spring’ of Pinkie approaching, and I didn’t want them to pull her onto their side of this. Everypony obediently quieted down, albeit with long-suffering expressions. The only sound was Pinkie’s incoming, springy hoofsteps.
“Hey everypony!” Pinkie said cheerfully as she bounded onto the picnic blanket. Nopony replied, so I filled the silence.
“Hey Pinkie! Nice day for a picnic!” I said, trying to smile.
Pinkie stopped bouncing. She looked at me strangely for a second, then turned to the others.
“Okay, what’s Emerald nervous about?” Pinkie asked.
Applejack gestured a hoof towards Pinkie while fixing me with her gaze, as if to say, see, even she gets it! I let out a groan.
“Fine! I’m moving out!” I finally said.
There was silence from the small crowd of mares.
“I… uh… That’s not really how I wanted to tell you girls.” I said. “I uh… I don’t think I can really grow like I want to in ponyville, if that makes any sense.”
More silence. I shifted uncomfortably.
“I think I know how that feels, Em.” Applejack eventually said.
I wrinkled my muzzle and frowned. “Really? I mean, Granted, I don’t know you like some other ponies here, but…”
“I don’t seem like the type?” Applejack finished for me, smiling. She pulled down her hat so it shaded her eyes from the sun.
“I don’t blame ya fer thinkin’ it, cuz I’m not. Not anymore, anywho. I got all I need right here in Ponyville.”
I opened my mouth, but found I didn’t really have anything to say to that. Good for her, I guess?
“What brought this on?” Rarity asked, concerned.
“Oh, I dunno. Nothing. Everything.” I replied. “I’ve just been having trouble finding a paying job, and you all have been so generous already…”
“And we’re very happy to keep being generous.” Rarity said.
“I know you are!” I said, “But that’s not what I want. I want to be able to give you all something, but… I think I need to take myself away first.”
“But… are you going to be alright? On your own, I mean.” Fluttershy said.
My knee-jerk reaction was to take offense at the implication that I couldn’t take care of myself.
“I can… do stuff.” I said defensively.
Fluttershy gave me a concerned look. Pinkie was giving me a half-smile and rocking her hoof like a boat.
“I can!” I reaffirmed.
“Darling, you won’t even take a shower of your own accord.” Rarity said.
“I clean myself!” I said, neither confirming nor denying the truth of Rarity’s words.
“Giving yourself a once-over with a damp brush every other day is hardly a thorough cleaning.” Rarity said as she gave me a flat look.
I blushed. “Uh… noticed that, did you?”
“An expert can always tell, darling.” She said back. I wilted a bit.
Fortunately, Starlight came to my rescue. “Personal hygiene aside, for a moment, Where will you go? What’ll you do for bits? For a place to sleep?”
“Well, I thought I’d go to Canterlot first…”
Starlight went pale at the mention of the capital of Equestria. Rarity had a similar reaction, which was mildly impressive since her coat was white to begin with.
I looked between them, searching their faces for answers.
“What? What’s wrong with Canterlot?” I asked.
“Erm, well…” Starlight fumbled for an answer.
“The nobles would eat you alive, I’m afraid.” Rarity said carefully.
“Oh, come on! You’re just saying that because-” I stopped mid sentence after having a thought, and afterwards leaned toward Starlight.
“Ah, she didn’t mean they’d literally eat me alive, right?” I asked.
“Not as far as I’m aware, no.” Starlight responded.
I hastily nodded and got back to my previous thought.
“You’re just saying that because you don’t trust me to do this by myself!” I said accusingly toward Rarity.
Rarity gave a short sigh. “Darling, there’s no shame in admitting you need help-”
“Yes there is!” I interrupted. “I’m ashamed! I don’t want to need your help! I want to be the one doing the helping!”
Rarity’s hurt expression spoke volumes. I shrank a bit.
“I… I- uh… I didn’t mean to disrespect all that you’ve given me, but…”
I didn’t know what sort of thing I could say then. Nothing came, or at least, nothing I’d actually want to say.
“No, Emerald, if We’ve somehow hurt you…”
“You haven’t.” I said hastily, and I looked around at the other Mares gathered as I said the rest. “You all are the best sort of friends I could ask for; I… I just… I feel like I need to figure out who I am when I’m not with you… or something. I… I don’t even know if any of this makes any sense.”
Applejack looked around the group, and, since nopony else was forthcoming with an answer, she walked up and placed a hoof on my shoulder.
“Ah think it makes perfect sense.” Applejack said.
I gave a short huff of laughter.
“You’re just saying that.” I said.
“No ah ain’t, and that’s the honest truth.” Applejack said firmly. “Long time ago, I used to wonder who I was, too. I found my answer; maybe it’s time you did, too.”
A knot tied itself in my stomach; it felt good, somehow.
“I, um… I know I’m still going to need your help getting started at the very least.” I said to the assembled mares. “I know enough to know I don’t know a lot about ponies, and I really don’t have any bits…”
“Say no more.” Rarity said, a shadow of a smile on her muzzle. “I think I speak for all of us when I say that we’ll give you as much, or as little help as you need.”
My traitorous eyeballs started leaking wet fluid over my warm face.
“That’s all I want.” I said.
I pulled Rarity and AJ in for a hug.
Author's Note
Maybe it's slightly out of character for the mane 6 to be acting that way near the beginning, but... it was too funny to pass up.
Entry 4: Newspapers... why'd it have to be newspapers?
So finding a place to stay in canterlot has already taken a lot longer than I thought it would, even with my pony friends helping.
Honestly, everything in pony society just seems way too complicated for me. There’s apparently hundreds of ads in the canterlot times to sort through and I lost patience after reading through candidate number seven. If it was up to me, I’d just show up at the first place on the list and have it done, but apparently that’s not an option.
So, I was already mentally exhausted trying to comprehend why ponies have to overcomplicate everything when I heard a curious hum from Rarity at the other end of her boutique. I immediately looked up at her, as did a few other ponies who were present. Pinkie promptly woke up from her nap; bless her, she had been extremely eager to help, but lost enthusiasm only shortly after I did. That had left only Applejack and Rarity looking through the Canterlot Times classified ads. Applejack, of course, had been distracted from her searching by Rarity’s minor exclamation.
“What’s ‘Hmmm’?” I asked.
Rarity looked up, slightly startled, from the newspaper.
“Oh! sorry, darlings. I just found a… somewhat peculiar ad.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Peculiar how?” she asked.
Pinkie chose that moment to chip in.
“Yeah! Peculiar like you wear socks with sandals or peculiar like a kale, broccoli, and vanilla cupcake slash omelet? Cuz I make the second one all the time!”
Rarity shuddered. I wasn’t sure whether it was at the mention of socks and sandals or the omelet cupcake. In my case, It was the latter.
“Ah, well why don’t I just read it to you…” Rarity said. She looked back to the paper and re-read the ad.
“Room for rent. Sixteen bits per month. Single bathroom house. Furniture supplied. Tenant must not be idiotic, or have an aversion to rowdy children, sharp teeth, or open flames. Apply at 409 Cirque Lane.”
“What a coincidence! I’m not an idiot! Sounds perfect!” I said.
Rarity looked at me from over her reading glasses.
“Emerald, you’d say yes to a cardboard box. and besides, any pony who posted this doesn’t sound like the most pleasant sort to have as a landlord.”
“Oh, please. I, of all ponies, can handle open flames. Foals and sharp teeth… I could learn to manage. They probably just have some sort of exotic pet laying around in a reptile tank somewhere.”
Rarity looked doubtful, but Applejack interceded on my behalf.
“Won’t hurt to take a look there along with the rest, Rarity. I’ll put it on the list. ‘Sides, does seem kinda cheap.”
Rarity gave a relenting sigh as Applejack wrote the address onto the note paper between them. I, of course, simply began staring in dumb horror at the sheer number of adresses they’d already written down. It was going to take all day tomorrow in order to check them all out.
I almost reconsidered moving away, if only to save myself the hassle. Almost. Instead, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. You need to do something useful with yourself, I thought. If this is the way to do it, you just gotta do it. I opened my eyes and took a look outside Rarity’s window. The sky was getting dark, and I was just beginning to spot the first stars appearing in the night sky.
“I think I’m gonna go hit the hay.” I said. “I’m gonna have to be up bright and early tomorrow, right?”
I smiled at them as I left, but didn’t really wait for a response; I just trotted back out of Rarity’s boutique and back towards Twilight’s old castle. This was already much more exhausting than I had expected.
Author's Note
I figured I'd waited long enough to post another chapter so I just decided to post what I had. In-universe, it makes sense to end an entry at the end of the day anywho.
