I don’t think I truly appreciated how scary moving to a new place is until this morning. I woke up and was suddenly terrified of… everything. What if I can’t make any friends in canterlot? What if I break Fluttershy’s heart? Or Pinkie’s? Would Starlight be mad? Would Rarity? Would this one move successfully burn all the bridges I’d built here in ponyville?

On some level, I knew that most of these fears, if not all of them, were entirely unfounded, but the dread remained despite that.

Fluttershy had invited me to a small picnic with our mutual friends, minus Twilight, naturally, since she was a bit busy with royal duties today. It was then that I decided to tell everypony about my decision. Part of me wanted to write and ask Twilight to push the sun forward so it could be lunchtime already and I could get it over with, and part of me wanted to ask her to delay as long as possible.

I honestly don’t even know if that’s how pony time works. Is everypony on the princess’s clock, or is she on everypony else’s?

Regardless, Lunchtime arrived at about the same time it did every day, and I arrived in the large, grassy field adjacent to Twilight’s old castle and the School of Friendship no less jittery than I had been that morning.

Fluttershy smiled softly at me from her spot atop the red-checkered blanket she’d laid out. I smiled back, unable to feel like the expression was genuine. I shuddered involuntarily. Fluttershy frowned.

“Are you alright, Emerald?” She asked quietly as I approached.

“Y-eah.” I said clumsily. “I, um…who else is already here?”

“Nopony, actually.” Fluttershy said. “You’re a bit early, in fact. I was just enjoying the sunshine with Angel for a bit.”

I shuffled back and forth uncomfortably as I took note of the small white bunny that was sunbathing nearby. He opened one eye for a moment, but otherwise didn’t acknowledge me. I always have the sense he still hasn’t quite forgiven me for almost trampling over him that one time I was running from Twilight, no matter what Fluttershy says.

Sparks, that seems like years ago now, even if it’s only been a few weeks.

“Oh…” I said as soon as my brain caught up with my thoughts. “I guess I’ll just, um…”

I sat on my haunches awkwardly. After a few seconds of silence I started shifting my weight between my left and right sides. Fluttershy looked on uncertainly.

“Um, Emerald, are you sure you’re fine?” she asked.

“Well, I uh…”

Before I could formulate a proper response, a familiar voice yanked our collective attention away.

“Oh, dear! I thought I was here early.” Rarity said as she approached, toting a picnic basket and wearing a stylish sun hat.

“You are early.” Fluttershy said. “I think Emerald was feeling nervous, so she showed up early too.”

“What? No! Who said anything about feeling nervous?” I said as my gaze flickered rapidly between the two mares. I tried to conjure a genuine smile, but all I could manage was a crooked, lopsided grin that didn’t quite reach my eyes. They both independently shot me a disbelieving look and my fake expression withered. I switched strategies and tried to look casual.

“Uh, you know, there are just… some things… happening.” I stuttered.

“Is this still about our visit to the spa?” Rarity asked.

“What? No! No no no!” I said emphatically.

“Because I’m sure that you’d be able to have a fabulous time if you just let yourself unwind-”

“This isn’t about the spa, and I’d prefer to keep it that way, thank you!”

Rarity shrugged, as if to say, suit yourself.

“So what are you nervous about?” Fluttershy asked.

“Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Everything is fine!” I said back.

“Why is ‘everything fine’?” Starlight said as she approached from the general direction of the school.

“Emerald is nervous about something.” Rarity said.

“I’m not nervous!” I said quickly.

“Oh. okay. What are you not-nervous about?” Starlight said casually.

“That doesn’t even make any sense!” I said.

“Makes sense to me…” Fluttershy mumbled.

“Then I’m not-nervous about everything! Because I’m not nervous at all!” I replied.

“Howdy Y’all!” Applejack said as she approached from behind me. “What’s goin’ on?”

I saw Starlight’s mouth opening, and shut it with a pointing hoof. “Do not say I’m nervous!”

“Oh, okay. What’s Emerald all not-nervous about?” Applejack said. I threw my hooves up in defeat.

“She won’t tell us.” Fluttershy replied to Applejack.

“Oh, it’s one of them friendship problems.” Applejack said back as she set a pie down on the picnic blanket; I’ll give you three guesses what flavor it was.

“It’s not a friendship problem, it’s not a problem at all!”

Applejack shrugged. “Kinda sounds like a friendship problem, but what do ah know? I’m just the Element of Honesty is a-”

I shot up a hoof to silence her, because I heard the telltale ‘sproing spring’ of Pinkie approaching, and I didn’t want them to pull her onto their side of this. Everypony obediently quieted down, albeit with long-suffering expressions. The only sound was Pinkie’s incoming, springy hoofsteps.

“Hey everypony!” Pinkie said cheerfully as she bounded onto the picnic blanket. Nopony replied, so I filled the silence.

“Hey Pinkie! Nice day for a picnic!” I said, trying to smile.

Pinkie stopped bouncing. She looked at me strangely for a second, then turned to the others.

“Okay, what’s Emerald nervous about?” Pinkie asked.

Applejack gestured a hoof towards Pinkie while fixing me with her gaze, as if to say, see, even she gets it! I let out a groan.

“Fine! I’m moving out!” I finally said.

There was silence from the small crowd of mares.

“I… uh… That’s not really how I wanted to tell you girls.” I said. “I uh… I don’t think I can really grow like I want to in ponyville, if that makes any sense.”

More silence. I shifted uncomfortably.

“I think I know how that feels, Em.” Applejack eventually said.

I wrinkled my muzzle and frowned. “Really? I mean, Granted, I don’t know you like some other ponies here, but…”

“I don’t seem like the type?” Applejack finished for me, smiling. She pulled down her hat so it shaded her eyes from the sun.

“I don’t blame ya fer thinkin’ it, cuz I’m not. Not anymore, anywho. I got all I need right here in Ponyville.”

I opened my mouth, but found I didn’t really have anything to say to that. Good for her, I guess?

“What brought this on?” Rarity asked, concerned.

“Oh, I dunno. Nothing. Everything.” I replied. “I’ve just been having trouble finding a paying job, and you all have been so generous already…”

“And we’re very happy to keep being generous.” Rarity said.

“I know you are!” I said, “But that’s not what I want. I want to be able to give you all something, but… I think I need to take myself away first.”

“But… are you going to be alright? On your own, I mean.” Fluttershy said.

My knee-jerk reaction was to take offense at the implication that I couldn’t take care of myself.

“I can… do stuff.” I said defensively.

Fluttershy gave me a concerned look. Pinkie was giving me a half-smile and rocking her hoof like a boat.

“I can!” I reaffirmed.

“Darling, you won’t even take a shower of your own accord.” Rarity said.

“I clean myself!” I said, neither confirming nor denying the truth of Rarity’s words.

“Giving yourself a once-over with a damp brush every other day is hardly a thorough cleaning.” Rarity said as she gave me a flat look.

I blushed. “Uh… noticed that, did you?”

“An expert can always tell, darling.” She said back. I wilted a bit.

Fortunately, Starlight came to my rescue. “Personal hygiene aside, for a moment, Where will you go? What’ll you do for bits? For a place to sleep?”

“Well, I thought I’d go to Canterlot first…”

Starlight went pale at the mention of the capital of Equestria. Rarity had a similar reaction, which was mildly impressive since her coat was white to begin with.

I looked between them, searching their faces for answers.

“What? What’s wrong with Canterlot?” I asked.

“Erm, well…” Starlight fumbled for an answer.

“The nobles would eat you alive, I’m afraid.” Rarity said carefully.

“Oh, come on! You’re just saying that because-” I stopped mid sentence after having a thought, and afterwards leaned toward Starlight.

“Ah, she didn’t mean they’d literally eat me alive, right?” I asked.

“Not as far as I’m aware, no.” Starlight responded.

I hastily nodded and got back to my previous thought.

“You’re just saying that because you don’t trust me to do this by myself!” I said accusingly toward Rarity.

Rarity gave a short sigh. “Darling, there’s no shame in admitting you need help-”

“Yes there is!” I interrupted. “I’m ashamed! I don’t want to need your help! I want to be the one doing the helping!”

Rarity’s hurt expression spoke volumes. I shrank a bit.

“I… I- uh… I didn’t mean to disrespect all that you’ve given me, but…”

I didn’t know what sort of thing I could say then. Nothing came, or at least, nothing I’d actually want to say.

“No, Emerald, if We’ve somehow hurt you…”

“You haven’t.” I said hastily, and I looked around at the other Mares gathered as I said the rest. “You all are the best sort of friends I could ask for; I… I just… I feel like I need to figure out who I am when I’m not with you… or something. I… I don’t even know if any of this makes any sense.”

Applejack looked around the group, and, since nopony else was forthcoming with an answer, she walked up and placed a hoof on my shoulder.

“Ah think it makes perfect sense.” Applejack said.

I gave a short huff of laughter.

“You’re just saying that.” I said.

“No ah ain’t, and that’s the honest truth.” Applejack said firmly. “Long time ago, I used to wonder who I was, too. I found my answer; maybe it’s time you did, too.”

A knot tied itself in my stomach; it felt good, somehow.

“I, um… I know I’m still going to need your help getting started at the very least.” I said to the assembled mares. “I know enough to know I don’t know a lot about ponies, and I really don’t have any bits…”

“Say no more.” Rarity said, a shadow of a smile on her muzzle. “I think I speak for all of us when I say that we’ll give you as much, or as little help as you need.”

My traitorous eyeballs started leaking wet fluid over my warm face.

“That’s all I want.” I said.

I pulled Rarity and AJ in for a hug.

Author's Note

Maybe it's slightly out of character for the mane 6 to be acting that way near the beginning, but... it was too funny to pass up.