Darkness is sometimes the exact thing to help you think. Maybe that’s why so many people seek solitude at night or try to find some sort of meaning of life within the stars. I suppose magic itself is a mystery. Even the unicorns in Equestria couldn’t quite find a reason for magic existing in the first place. In a way, I guess that makes life here much easier. You don’t have to worry about spells or some unknown magical force. I’ve long since accepted my past with magic and the loss of it, but I still sometimes go out into the night to think about my life’s problems. The dark is… dangerous yet peaceful. Some people never come back once they go out into the dark, making you think what happened to them. But it can also offer you a nice setting to just exist. No pressure or expectations put on your shoulders, especially since most creatures are asleep during this time.
When it comes to being alone, people usually seek an excuse for their solitude. Something to rely on so it doesn’t seem as weird if you’re wanting to be alone. Some use the excuse of work or art, but it’s rare that you’re given a chance to be alone without needing an excuse. Some legitimate reason to give you some sparing moments to yourself. Usually, this is a car ride for me… Whenever I need to think to myself, there’s always some reason that I need to drive somewhere, whether it be work-related or for my friends and family. These little rides always give me the chance to just think to myself about things I can’t when I’m at home or with other people. Maybe it’s the atmosphere or the different pace, but nonetheless, it helps.
The reason for my drive tonight? A return trip from a work-related conference… I’ve been gone for more than a week and barely had any time to myself. Now I can finally go home and get some rest. Of course, I’m looking forward to seeing Sonata, Aria and my other friends, but I miss one person the most… She’s the one person who can always make me smile, no matter the circumstance. She always brings a ray of light into my life, despite how she or I feel. It’s truly remarkable how much she’s changed my life in the little time we’ve been together. Together… It’s a funny word to use in this context, but I suppose it still works. She and I are… in a relationship. Partners. Whatever people call it today. I guess it’s just hard to think of it like that since… sirens like me aren’t supposed to need others in their life like that. And I guess it feels like… a weird commitment. Wouldn’t I just be weighing her down?
Sunset Shimmer is… one weird girl. One day, I go from hating her guts to missing her the next. All because she wanted to be friends and then that moved onto unofficial dating. That’s something she wants to change however… The last time we talked, Sunset asked me to think about what she means to me while I was at the conference… She clearly wants to go steady, but… doesn’t it seem like a bit much? She’s an extremely talented girl and someone who has the world at her fingertips, but she wants to spend her time with me. For what reason? Is there even a reason or is it just out of a whim? If it is out of a whim, then wouldn’t it hurt more to commit to something like this only for it to end… If she is serious about… this, then why? Why would she want to go steady with a girl like me? A siren? Why not live up her life, dating as many people as possible and enjoying her time? Instead, Sunset has to be the good girl. She has to get good grades while impressing everyone around her.
It’s funny… That’s something I tried to get her to stop. When I still had my magic, I tried to tempt her into joining my side. Maybe I saw potential in her… Maybe I was just attracted to her from the start. As much as I’m scared to go steady with the girl, I have to admit that I do… like her. I like spending time with her and doing the things that she and I enjoy. I’ve never been involved with someone before. At least, not when it comes to dating. I’ve had my fair share of experience sleeping around with others, but actually having an emotional attachment is new to me… In a way, it feels… nice. Being able to talk with someone and have these good times together, but I also don’t fully know how to commit… It’s not like I feel trapped with Sunset, but I’m afraid that she would be trapped with me. I’m already a few thousand years old. I’ve lived my life and have had my fun, but Sunset hasn’t. She’s only in her early twenties. What would make her want to settle now of all times? And with a siren? This long drive home doesn’t really help with the issue at hand… Even though I have the time to think to myself, I can’t think of a solution… Perhaps the solution is to avoid going steady. She can enjoy her life and I could leave her alone. If she comes back, then we can see where things go, right? She deserves to live her life. Even if it hurts to think about that…
The dark night outside my vehicle makes the flat grasslands around this road seem intimidating… Even though one can see for miles in every direction around them, it almost feels like something is watching you. That something could appear at any moment. Or it could be invisible to you… I always hate this point of the drive back home. I’ve had to go to these conferences five times now and it never gets easier right here. Even though there is little wildlife and a mostly easy drive through this area, it is just disturbing. Hours of uninterrupted silence, darkness and loneliness. It always feels like something is watching me and my thoughts… My thoughts laid bare to whatever is watching, making my most trivial issues obvious… Like my jealousy. Or anger.
Sunset wants to go steady. I want her to live her life and enjoy every second of it. Yet the thought of her dating someone else makes my heart hurt, my mind insanely jealous of whoever it may be. I’m sure that there’s some easy solution to this dilemma, but it evades my search for now… Like the darkness outside, it feels a little intimidating to come up with some answer. I want her to not be attached to me, but… I also feel sad when I imagine her with someone else. I don’t even know why. It’s not like I would lose my time with her. We’re just casually dating and we like being around each other. A lot… I have to admit that I like her… I’m just not sure if going steady is the right thing for us right now. With all these business conferences I have to do and all, it’s just better for us to be… unofficial.
Coming up to a four-way stoplight, a yellow street light illuminates this small intersection, nothing to be seen in miles other than this light. The stop light is a pure red, making me slow to a halt at the intersection with an annoyed smirk. There’s usually a cop that is waiting around here to give people tickets for running the redlight, conveniently hiding in the dark field. How in the hell does the government have the money to waste to position a cop over here at all hours of the night anyway? It’s like they just don’t know what to do with the money they have, which makes me question why our taxes are so damn steep. This intersection in general is useless. The highway I’m on has a small town road that goes right through it. The town isn’t within eyesight and the small road has basically zero use. What could be a two-way stop sign is a stoplight, taking up a lot more electricity than needed. This is why it’s annoying to stop here… Not only are there basically zero cars on the small road, this highway isn’t traveled much either, so stopping at a red light for no reason is just asinine.
Tapping my finger on the steering wheel, I can’t help but feel a little tired. I’ve been driving for over seven hours now and the last thing I want is to stop in the middle of nowhere… If anything, I still have quite a long way to go before I get home… I just want to get back to my humble little abode and slip into my pajamas, but alas, I can’t. The light remains red for the longest time… Perhaps, the world is just trying to give me more time to think… Maybe that’s a gift, but at this point? I’d rather reject the offer than sit here for another ten minutes. Putting my foot on the gas pedal, my car doesn’t move from its spot, the engine making a loud noise as I try to move. What the hell? I could have sworn I had this car serviced… Why are you stalling on me now? You were working fine for the past few hours…
Putting the car in park, I quickly take the key out of the ignition, opening the door with an annoyed frown. This is great… Fantastic. This had to happen to me out here. Nothing but fucking fields in sight and the red stop light. It’s like this car knew how much I wanted to get home and just decided that it would stop here. In the middle of a road. At three in the morning… Nothing could be better. Walking around the front of the car, I look up at the stop light and sigh to myself. “I bet you’re having a real laugh at this, huh?” I whisper, feeling like an idiot for talking to an inanimate light. Popping open the hood, I use the flashlight from my phone to peek inside the vehicle, trying to find something that could cause the issue. I’m not necessarily a mechanic, but I can usually tell if something looks screwed up. The thing that makes me antsy is the fact that this was working just fine fifteen minutes ago… “Why are you acting up now?” I ask quietly, using my question as a way to distract myself from the frustration more than anything else. Everything technically looks fine, but I’m not exactly sure what to compare it to.
If the car could fix itself, that would be great, but that’s unfortunately something I can’t rely on. Perhaps a search on the internet will work… Well, at least it will probably give me a reason as to why there is a problem in the first place, but the actual task of fixing it may be something I can’t handle. I think I have an emergency tool kit in the trunk, but there’s no guarantee that will help… Unsurprisingly, there’s very low service here… I mean, it is in the middle of nowhere, so I’m surprised that there’s even one bar of service. I guess it’s a blessing. Even though it takes like five minutes to load a page. I would usually try to take my attention off of the screen in times like this, though it’s a little hard to do that now… The dark landscape around me with nothing but the sound of the wind is a little… eerie. It’s a loud whistle… Piercing. Almost like the sounds studios play in horror movies to try and get a jump out of the viewers. But all of that is just fiction. It’s just the sound of the wind… Just the wind…
Finally, the screen on my phone changes to a new page, showing results for my search. What could be causing this…? The page only really brings up results that show me how to make sure my engine is alright, not really how I can fix an issue. I suppose that’s the best place to start. I mean, it would help me identify the issue at least, right? Hopefully, I won’t have to call someone to come help me. I’m at least twenty miles from the closest town, so it would be a bit of time before someone can come help me. Unless…
Walking to the other side of the car, I aim my flashlight into the field, waving my phone back and forth. That cop should be somewhere around here, right…? There’s always someone posted nearby, so they should be equipped to help me. They would surely be a lot better than a siren who has no idea what is right and wrong with an engine. Where are they…? All I can see is the moving grass in the field, swaying back and forth to each whistle of the wind. The dark night obscures anything that is more than ten feet in front of me… The rustling of the grass makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on-end easily… Surely they can see me, right? I’d like to think my flashlight is enough light to make my presence known, but if it’s not, that would mean I would have to walk out there… Out into the darkness. The whistling and rustling piercing my ears with hardly any light to illuminate my way… Is it wrong of me to feel a little.. tense about that alternative? Tense. I’m not sure why since there shouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary out there. Just the thought of walking into the unknown darkness makes me feel… afraid.
I can’t believe I’m actually admitting I’m afraid… Nothing should scare a siren like me. Right? Especially not the darkness… Isn’t it pathetic? To feel scared of the dark and the unknown? I… It’s not a good look. Why can’t they fucking see me? Are they even out there tonight? They are usually posted somewhere nearby. The moment I need a little help, they’re not here… It’s… It’s alright. I’m sure I can find out the cause of this problem. I’ve been stuck in worse situations before. You’re just letting the wind get to you, Adagio. Take a deep breath and calm down. Nothing is going to happen…
Looking back at the articles provided by the search, I tap one that offers a step-by-step guide on how to find out what is wrong with the car. Despite the electrifying shock that goes up my spine, I try to ignore my surroundings and focus on the article. There has to be something in here that explains what is happening, right? Taking a deep breath, I can’t help but raise my eyebrow at the first suggestion. The first troubleshooting measure for the car is to reconnect the battery cables and try to start it again. Seems simple enough… Despite the nerves on my back being on high alert, I carefully reach over and take the cables off the car’s battery, waiting a minute before reattaching them. Knowing my luck, it won’t be this simple… Closing the hood, I quickly walk over to the driver’s seat, sliding my key into the ignition. No matter how much I try, the car’s engine won’t even come on now, making me sigh heavily. You were able to turn on, but now that’s not even an option…? Why does this have to happen to me? At this time of night and in the middle of nowhere at that… I can try to ignore it, but the overwhelming sense of staring eyes makes me feel anxious.
The lonely atmosphere of the night is contradicted by the eerie feeling of something being out there. Something watching me deal with these sorts of troubles… All the while, I’m helpless against it. It didn’t bother me as much when I was driving… From inside the vehicle, nothing could really get to me. It just felt like something watching me. Now, it feels like I’m being spied on by something I can’t see. Something I can’t control. Why does it feel so cold out here…?
Quickly making my way to the back of the car, I open the trunk and grab the tool kit, making sure everything is still inside it. Without wasting a moment, I take out a wrench in preparation, making my way towards the front of the vehicle. The bright yellow street light is the only thing that illuminates the area around me, but even it flickers on and off. The world is so lonely during these sorts of situations… That feeling is almost deafening, despite the loud whistle of the wind. I thought there would be a cop posted around here… I’m either the only person here or they can’t be bothered to help. Or… it’s something other than a cop… Just beyond the veil of the grass… Eyes just out of sight, watching me walk in circles. That thought is… terrifying. To think something out there would be watching me panic to fix my car…
Grabbing the hood of the car, I try to open it, only for it to stay locked in place. “What the hell is wrong with you now?” I angrily sigh, trying to avoid my frightening thoughts for just a moment longer. You’re just imagining things, Adagio. You’re fine. Clearly, I didn’t pull hard enough, right? Pulling upward harder, the hood stays still, making me bite my bottom lip. This can’t be happening… I… I just had it open. Dropping the tool kit to the ground, I grab the hood with both hands, feeling a chill crawl up my spine. Why can’t it open? Did I break it…? I’m sure I didn’t, right? There wasn’t anything sticky to keep it stuck, right? No matter how much force I put on it, the hood never budges… Not even a centimeter. The whistling never fails to remind me how alone I am, but despite the loneliness, it always feels like there’s something just behind my back…
Looking down at the ground for the tool kit, my eyes widen instantly, feeling a cold sweat break out across my forehead. I… What the hell…? I was only looking at the hood for a couple of minutes. Where did this fog come from…? All across the ground, a dense white fog makes it impossible to see anything else. Easily, it comes up to my knees, reflecting the yellow light of the street light. Now, even the damned fences that outline the fields are not visible from beside the road, leaving only some of the grass poking out of the fog. My fingers twitch beyond my control, making me nervous chuckle at the clear lack of will I seem to have. Weather fluctuations are normal. Fog is normal… Right…?
My mind knows the truth. I’ve never seen fog on this road before on my road trips back. Every time I’ve come through this path, there wasn’t any fog like this. Even rain was sparse… It’s possible, but fog is still… strange. The chill doesn’t leave my back as I reach down into the fog, feeling along the cement road for the tool kit I just dropped. All I can feel is the hard and jagged surface of the road, trying desperately to look past the fog. The road feels a little wet due to the fog… Wet…? I know the fog is dense, but… dense enough to make the ground wet…? Bringing my hand back above the fog, a loud gasp escapes my lips, pressing myself against the hood of the car. My hand is… red…? What the hell? What is happening…? I… I didn’t cut myself, did I? The deep crimson reflects the small amount of light from the streetlight for a few moments. Until the yellow light starts to flicker…
Looking up at the streetlight, I bite my lip, taking deep breaths as quickly as I can. What is happening to me…? I-I… I feel so cold and the nerves in my body won’t calm down. Why is my hand red? Please… “Please don’t go out on me,” I whisper to the light, praying that the one thing that has been illuminating the area won’t turn off. Without a second going by, the light flickers even more, making my heart skip a beat. I know I’ve done terrible things in my life, but why do I deserve this? What is happening? I’m always alone when I need someone… Why can’t I just go home? I just want to see Aria and Sonata. I just want to be with… Sunset…
Instantly, the streetlight goes out, leaving the red stoplight as the only source of light and giving the fog an eerie aura. H-how will I fix the car with this sort of light…? I don’t think I can without my tool kit. I-I don’t even know what I’m doing… I-I shouldn’t be scared, but every part of my mind screams at me to get away from here. Nothing is acting like it should. Why does this have to happen to me? I don’t even know what’s going on… Am I being punished? Is this some celestial decision to torture me? W-what did I do-
A noise instantly makes my eyes widen, my body jumping to the sound. What sounds like a low growl coming from my right throws my whole body into a defensive state, but as soon as I look towards the location of the growl, it’s gone. Not even a second goes by before another growl behind me replaces it. W-what is even out there…? I didn’t think there would be… I don’t know. I-I can’t just stand here. My breathing quickly gets out of control, my whole body sweating despite my attempts to remain calm. There’s no explanation for all of this… There’s nothing that could explain this… I can’t be dreaming. This is all real… R-right? Running around the car, I pull open the door, hearing running footsteps right behind me. No no no no no. No! Slamming the door, I look out the window, my breathing taking a lot of my energy. Nothing can be seen other than the damned fog. This can’t be happening… I-it can’t be happening…
Pushing my key into the ignition, the car refuses to come on. Why? Why can’t I be home? What is even out there? I thought it w-was just fucking fields. What is growling at me?! I… I-I don’t know what to do! Why did the light go out? Why couldn’t the damn hood move?! D-did I do something to piss God off? I-I can’t explain half of what is happening! All I can do is hope they can’t get in here… All I can fucking see is the red light above the road, staring right back down at me. I-I… I can’t be here… Right? I’m dreaming… Please wake up, Adagio… Please. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want anything else to go wrong…
The small noise of something scraping against metal can be heard right outside the car… No matter how hard I try to make myself look, I can’t get the will. Instead, my eyes focus on the steering wheel, begging for this torture to end. I can’t control my breathing… My body won’t stop sweating, despite the cold chill up my spine… I don’t want to be here… I want to be home, in my bed. I want to wake up tomorrow and share a coffee with my best friends, celebrating another successful trip. I want to see the sun shine and walk along the beach… There are so many things I haven’t done with my life… Me, a siren, regretting things? I don’t want to be so resistant to change anymore…
The stoplight’s red glow disappears without any warning, leaving me in complete darkness, not even the light of the stars or the moon showing up in the sky. I’ve been so fucking concentrated on power my whole life that now, I haven’t been able to experience much else… The sound of something clawing at the walls only gets exponentially louder… I finally got myself some friends and I was finally feeling happy in my life… I d-don’t want to… disappear… Closing my eyes as tightly as I can, I can feel the world close in on me. There’s no running from whatever is out there… Whatever has been causing this hell on Earth…
I caused so much pain in this world… I suppose a siren deserves this fate… But there are so many things I want to do. So many things I want to experience… The scraping sound never leaves my ears, despite how much I try to make it leave. I thought power was all I wanted back then, but my friends introduced me to what it means to be a human. What it’s like to be happy… She introduced that to me… She helped me make friends and turn my life around. No matter how much I want her to experience life without being tied down to me, I love her… I love Sunset so much. I-I just want to see her face one more time… I just want to be with her… I was s-so fucking stupid for not going steady with you… I love you… More than anything. If I could do anything over, it would be all the times I denied you… I-I need you too… I d-don’t want to be alone… I-I promise. I would treasure you…
Where is it…? Where’s the noise…? The scraping sound that has been busting my eardrum is no longer present, leaving a simple silence in its place. Why did it stop…? Opening my eyes slowly, a bright yellow light enters the car from the windshield, illuminating the road in front of me and the surrounding area. That taunting red light has now disappeared, only being replaced by a softer green. The light no longer tells me to stop… It’s urging me to move forward… Instantly, my hand jams the key into the slot, hearing the engine of the car turn on. Thank you, God… Stomping my foot on the pedal, the car begins to move once more, the stars shining down on me. I promise I won’t take you for granted, Sunset… And I promise I won’t be so hesitant with my life anymore… I don’t need an explanation or some sort of cause as to what happened tonight… I just want to get home. I’m coming home… I promise you.
