Author's Note

Hey there this is my first story so please mind any grammar mistakes I’m not that great when it comes to writing. Anyway hope you enjoy this story.

The desicion

Spike wondered around the crystal castle feeling down. He always thought he was useless to every one, including
Twilight. He always Considered himself a tool or a servant, whether it was sending princess Celestia a letter via his fire breath or having to clean the entire library by himself, Spike hated it. As he turned the corner and headed to his room he started to have a strange feeling, it wasn’t feeling happy or sad, it was like he had no emotion inside him, with only four words circling in his mind.

“Why do I exist?” This was a question that was bothering him for months. He hadn’t told Twilight our anypony yet, and was keeping himself distant from his friends. Twilight had asked about this after he stayed at home from special events such as modeling for Rarity so she could could make her friends special, sparkling dresses for the Grand galloping gala. Or going to look at a rare species of butterflies at Fluttershy’s cottage. He simply said that he wasn’t he good a wanted to stay home. Twilight was skeptical but decided not to force Spike into any activities. One day though was gonna change things for Twilight forever.

“Whew! Finally done dusting those relics, that took forever”

Spike was done for day and was more stressed than ever. His head was hurting, but not like a headache. It was like a feeling had never experienced before. But he couldn’t put his claw on it as he walked over to his bed, thinking that maybe a nap would clear his mind. As he settled in his small wicker basket he closed his eyes and fell into a deep slumber.

Spike then found himself outside of the castle with no idea of how he got there. He shrugged it off and made his way towards the doors, as he tried to pull on the handles to no avail he tried calling Twilight from the inside only to get no response.

“Twilight can you hear me?”

there was no answer. About to see if see was somewhere in Ponyvile, he was suddenly flung up to an open window hanging on the ledge where he saw Twilight and her friends sitting on their thrones by the map of Equestria talking. He peeked in to see and hear better, but what he heard next shocked him to the core.

“Hey Twi, might I ask why you still keep that little purple runt with you? Applejack questioned.

Twilight scoffed. “Because I want him to still think we love him. I still need to have someone naive and foolish enough to do whatever I say.” She and the other girls started laughing when Rainbow Dash spoke up.

“Yeah, who even likes that pint sized loser?. He can’t even fly, so he has to rely on our help to carry him. It’s even funnier to see him waddle behind us and occasionally trip on his on feet.”

Spike started to shed some tears as he looked behind him to and see no wings. He always assumed that he was just a late bloomer, a really late one that is.

Pinkie Pie giggled “remember when he was floating on a block of ice after that one winter wrap up? And he had to swim back shivering, which then lead him to him getting sick for two weeks? I couldn’t stop laughing for the entire weekend! He he.”

Fluttershy remarked “Yeah It almost makes me feel bad for him... Nah. He should go back to wherever that scaly freak came from.

Spike could feel his grip weakening as the insults felt like stones hitting him hard. What he heard next shattered his heart like glass.

“Do you guys know what I think of my little Spikey Wikey? I think it’s so pathetic that Spike tries to keep his crush for me a secret when everypony knows that I don’t love. Never has and never will. I just like using him to carry my stuff around. And the best part is because I always pack more than any pony would ever need. Everypony fell to the floor laughing at Raritys comment.

Spike felt queasy and light headed. He looked down below him and saw a black hole forming underneath him. More insults from his closest friends were being drowned out from a loud ringing in his ears.

“He makes all the party’s I throw seem uninspiring and boring.”

“He makes me feel 80% less cooler.”

“Lets send him to the everfree forest were monsters like him belong.”

“A rotten apple has more uses that Spike ever had”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if everypony in Equestria hated him.”

“The fact he considers me part of my family and an adopted big sister is so adorably stupid. I’m gonna get rid of him as soon as he’s no longer of any use to me. Heh, maybe I’ll toss him out to the Bad lands where any changelings will soak up the rest of the love that he had for us.”

Spike tried shouting at them to tell them he was sorry and please don’t get rid of me. But his mouth couldn’t move and them finally lost his hold. He fell with streams of tears running down his face, crying inside as the world crumbled before him into the darkness.

Spike woke up startled and scared, as he sat up in his bed realizing he must of had a nightmare. But if that was the case why didn’t princess Luna come? Spike put a claw to his cheek and it fell damp. So he got out of his bed and walked over towards a small mirror and saw that his eyes were red and puffy, tears stained his face and his lip was quivering.

“Why did I have these thoughts? What do they mean? Did his friends truly hate him? Was he hearing voices?

He couldn’t figure them out right now, he was still crying and shaking. He when into the kitchen to get some water, and when he just finished Spike looked outside from a window to see the night sky with the moon shimmering above. Thankful this window was on ground level, which was enough for him to release some tension and to push a chair and climb up and sit down looking into the darkness, alone.

Alone...

Darkness...

Why. Do. You. Exist.

As if a light bulb popped above head, he quietly went to the library and picked up a scroll, quill and some ink and put them in his room and grabbed a compass. Then walked back to the window and went to see where exactly the moon was. It was right in the middle of the sky while slowly drifting west. Spike assumed it was around 1:30 in the morning so he had some time to get ready, but also not dawdle. He grabbed the scroll and wrote a message to Twilight, the girls, and any pony else who would care to look at it. A few tears dripped on the paper as he finished, he then put the scroll in his bed and covered it with his blanket that he had kept back to when he was a hatchling. He then to the same window from before and climbed out of it. With the cool summer breeze and wet grass beneath him, he took one last look at old home in Ponyvile. Well not the oldest one anyway.

“I’ll miss you Mo- I mean Twi.”

And started his trek to the one place where he knew he could finally be free.

Gastly gorge.