Straightening the Record

by ScarletRibbon

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Tirek, Porn, Fetish, Comedy, King Sombra, Queen Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, Sex
Length: 6039

Sombra has reformed. He doesn't like the others. He doesn't want to work with them. But there's a strange power out in the mountains, and maybe - just maybe - that damn goat was right about the need to work together.

Fair warning: This plays far more to comedy than porn.

Sombra has reformed. Literally. And again.

And he's found a way to break out the villainous trio. He doesn't like them. He doesn't want to work with them. But maybe - just maybe - that damn goat was right about the need to work together.

Retreating into the mountains to find a strange power Sombra recalls from his past, the four villains plan out their glorious return to Equestria.

Now if only they could find their way out of the strange temple they've wandered into.

Contains: M/M Oral, M/F Oral, Foalcon (in brief flashback, with implied non-con), passing mentions of scat.

Written (poorly) for Dezmo's NSFW Contest (4th Place Overall)

Published 2022-09-01 03:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-09-01 03:50:00 UTC

Straightening The Record

Straightening The Record

by Scarlet Ribbon

A Sequel to Evening the Odds

There was nothing but the Darkness—an unending blackness that spread out in every direction, as silent as the grave.

This was the power of Equestria itself—no matter which artifacts channeled its power, be it the Crystal Heart, or the Elements of Harmony, it was a power that would banish evil to the Darkness.

For a time.

Sombra scoffed. He had been here already, when the Crystal Heart had sent him here. The Elements of Harmony would be no different. It would take years, as it had taken the first time, but there was no reason he couldn't escape again.

But he had to admit, perhaps, that the old goat had been correct. Maybe he would need the others' help.

"That was almost too easy," Sombra muttered, leading Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, and Tirek through a small, underground tunnel. "We will be out soon."

"Why are you helping us?" Tirek complained, trudging through the shallow water flowing away from the heart of Canterlot.

"Yeah," Cozy Glow replied, fluttering next to him, "I don't mean to kick a free saltlick, but..."

"Quiet," Chrysalis hissed. "Our voices are carrying down the pipes—listen!"

The sound of confused, muffled shouting could be heard, mostly unintelligible. Those words that came through clearly, however, suggested that their pursuers were not far behind them.

They reached the end of the tunnel, where the small stream of water plunged into darkness below. A grand vista of the land surrounding Canterlot spread out in front of them, softly illuminated by a quarter moon and countless stars above.

"Where do we go from here?" Tirek wondered.

"North," Sombra said, nodding solemnly. "Into the frozen mountains. When I ruled the Crystal Empire, my scouts discovered a source of incredible power out there, but the Empire was sealed away before I could ever discover it. We will bide our time in the mountains until we can find it, and surely Equestria's guard will be down when we come back."

"We are stuck at the edge of a castle on a mountain," Tirek pointed out, pounding his fist against the concrete pipe. "Our enemies are behind us, with nothing but a fall to our death before us. Where are we supposed to go now?"

"I can handle this," Chrysalis muttered, leaping out into the void. In a flash of green, a massive roc was flying in her place. Two gargantuan talons closed around Sombra and Tirek, eliciting a yell from the latter, as the massive bird flew off to the north. The little buzzing wings of a pegasus filly followed right behind them.

"Put me down, insect!" Tirek demanded, his voice barely audible to Sombra over the rushing wind, in spite of the short distance between them.

What initially began as a flight over the idyllic countryside below Canterlot had eventually turned into a nightmare of cold wind and ice. Fortunately, Sombra was used to frigid conditions. His horn, ignited with power, cast a spotlight out in front of their flight path, providing limited visibility for the massive bird.

"You will get used to the cold," Sombra replied.

"You could try putting some winter clothes on," Cozy Glow added, her tiny form bundled up in cozy winter clothing. Sombra wasn't sure where she'd gotten them, since they hadn't ever stopped.

"How are you even keeping up?" Tirek demanded. "We've gone nearly a thousand miles. Shouldn't you be getting tired by now?"

"I'm better than you!" Cozy retorted.

"She keeps resting on my back," Chrysalis squawked.

Cozy crossed her hooves. "Don't tell them that!"

"Can we please just land?!" Tirek demanded. "We are more than far enough from Canterlot, and all signs of pursuit have long since faded."

"Keep your eyes open for a lake!" Sombra shouted to Chrysalis over the wind. "The power was coming from a lake!"

"Hmph," Chrysalis grunted in agreement. While she would never confess out loud to the others that she was beginning to tire, landing as quickly as possible to rest her energy reserves was now becoming a priority.

The constant trees left few places to land in a form this large anyway, but a sufficiently frozen lake would do the trick. It didn't take long to identify a glimmering surface in the distance where moonlight reflected off of ice.

Chrysalis angled her wings sharply, allowing her to swoop down quickly over the lake. She hovered to a stop, and then changed back into her usual form, releasing Sombra and Tirek just inches above the ice and fluttering down herself.

All three of them stood on the ice. Tirek shivered in the biting cold, while Chrysalis was desperately trying not to visibly gasp for air. Sombra stood like a dignified King, surveying their surroundings.

"There are not many lakes here. If the power is here, it would be under the surface. If not, we rest, and fly to another lake when we can."

"Where did Cozy Glow disappear to?" Tirek asked.

"Over here!" her little voice called from somewhere. "I found something!"

There was a hole in the ice, utterly devoid of water. That was unusual enough. But it was inside that piqued their interest.

It was hard to make out exactly what they were looking at by the dim moon's light, but there seemed to be a giant slab of gold at the bottom, engraved with strange black lines that clearly made out the form of a kingly stallion, with a splendid (and erect) endowment.

It had taken a little more creative shapeshifting to safely guide Tirek and Sombra down to the lake bed, but it had been done.

"This must be the place we found before," Sombra muttered, running his hoof along the engraving. "But how do we get in?"

Chrysalis smiled, her fangs baring themselves wickedly. "Perhaps the stallion is the clue? He is quite aroused, after all." Her form shimmered in green fire, and Princess Cadance stood before him. "I know what you really want, after all..."

Her hips swayed back and forth as she approached Sombra. Sombra could not deny that he hated Princess Cadance, but also his desire to have her...

Tirek's arm suddenly swung down and slammed Chrysalis to the ground, cracking her horn against the golden slab. She let out an earsplitting shriek as the green flame took her again, leaving her natural form behind. Green blood oozed from her horn as she lay there on the ground for a moment.

"Tirek..." Sombra cautioned. "We—"

"There is a child present," Tirek shouted. "Behave!"

Chrysalis rolled back to her feet slowly. "Why do you care so much?" she growled, blood running down between her eyes from the crack in her horn.

Tirek glared at her. "Only among the Changelings would I expect such depraved behavior in front of children."

Sombra shrugged. It wasn't unusual for a changeling to use sex to achieve their goals. Far from unusual, in fact. But the thought of mating with Chrysalis...? If she would stay in Cadance's form, he could take out a lot of his frustrations upon her.

"Chryssi, you're bleeding," Cozy observed idly.

The blood oozing from her injured horn was beginning to gather on the tip of her nose, where it then dripped onto the golden floor. Immediately, a sudden blue glow flooded the lake bed, beginning from where the blood struck the golden surface, and spreading out before them along the engraved lines.

To Sombra, the old power erupting from the magic here was both ancient and familiar. They had most definitely found the source. They just needed to get to the center of it.

As the outline finished illuminating, the ground began to shake. The gold outlined by the stallion's massive dong began to shift, angling downward to a white, ivory floor, with walls of gold running into the earth below them.

The hallway was lit only by Sombra's horn as he led his ragtag party of villains into the earth. In the dim illumination, there was little more than smooth ivory for them to walk on, and smooth gold along the walls and ceiling. The clacking of twelve hooves sounded out without a returning echo, suggesting something was at the end muffling the sound—or perhaps that it was simply a far longer tunnel than he expected. Cozy Glow's wings buzzed with excitement nearby.

"There’s so much power here," she exclaimed. "If I—uh, if we could find a way to control it, we could take over all of Equestria!"

"Hmm," Chrysalis hummed, licking her lips. "Something smells delicious."

"And Changelings eat love. Are you suggesting that there is love here?" Tirek wondered, smashing his fists together. "Loving creatures are so easy to fool. If the local denizens are so powerful, perhaps I can steal their magic from them, and then I—no, we—can take those foolish ponies' magic from them, and rule all of Equestria."

This was not his plan. "Enough!" Sombra growled. "You are all being far too selfish."

Cozy Glow scoffed. "Yes, that's why we're evil, remember."

"There can be more to evil than selfishness," Sombra replied.

Before any of the others could reply, the dimly lit walls gave way as a massive chamber opened up before them. Sombra intensified his magic to illuminate the room more clearly.

Eight golden pillars dominated the center of the room, leading up to a raised dais adorned with iron braziers and a flight of stairs at either end.

Each of the pillars had an iron sconce facing the center of the room, where an ancient funeral pyre sat in a hole in the ground, with the burnt remains of bones scattered about.

"Quite impressive," Tirek said. "And utterly overdone."

The pillars' sconces flared to life at the sound of Tirek's voice, revealing the full extent of the workmanship of the room. Two alcoves in the side of the raised platform were marked with massive red gems that glimmered in the torchlight - Sombra recognized such crystals: control crystals for enslaved ponies. The right side of the platform had clearly been damaged at some point, obscuring what had probably once been a third one.

The walls of the room were much like the massive platform in the lake bed: engraved with pornographic imagery, and all with an emphasis on the king's endowment and submissiveness of the mares.

Sombra couldn't help but give begrudging respect to whomever had mustered enough slaves and wealth to construct this place, even if he would have preferred a more crystalline construction.

A quiet whirring noise interrupted his thoughts as a strange, dark grey lump rose from one of the control alcoves and the gem itself began glowing brilliantly.

An automaton, Sombra mused. He hadn't seen one in modern Equestria, but he had used them in limited capacity before—usually to help contain his slaves.

"Welcome!" it boomed out cheerfully. "My name is Jack, and you have reached the Temple of Carnal Self-Knowledge!"

"I already know enough about that," Chrysalis muttered.

The automaton circled them, a blue light emitting from its featureless face scanning each of them in turn.

"What is it doing?" Tirek boomed.

Chrysalis pushed it over with a hoof as it passed, but it simply bounced back up and continued scanning, seemingly unperturbed.

"I do not like it," she said. "It is strange and creepy."

Cozy Glow laughed. "You're a changeling."

"And?"

'Jack' finished its job and turned to Sombra. "You are a King. You surely must be in charge, but I am confused—you have brought another stallion with you. And two of you are not even ponies. The temple's power will still work, but it may cause some unexpected difficulty, and you might become stuck."

Get stuck? Sombra thought to himself. Surely there was no way they would ever become stuck so much that there was no way out.

"Are you sure you wish to proceed?" Jack asked.

The power within this temple would be theirs to command. No threat from an automaton would stop them. "Yes," Sombra agreed. "We will. What do we need to do to go deeper?"

"If you answer truthfully, the doors will open."

"And what questions do we need to answer?" Tirek demanded. "How can we answer a question we don't know?"

"The questions are asked at the door, and answered with the plates."

Sombra looked up at the door, barely visible beyond the edge of the platform. The automaton could be trusted, he knew that much. And the stairs were a short walk.

A Loaded Question

Chrysalis fluttered her wings up to the platform as Tirek and Sombra went around to the stairs. She would be the first one through the door, and it wouldn't even be difficult with this design.

A great golden door stood before her, with a thick black line running down the center; presumably where it would open. On either side of the line were patterns of dots that made no sense to her.

On the floor in front of the door were paired circles and squares, with each square divided and dotted similarly to the door before her. The circles were made of dull grey stone, except the one closest to the door, which was made of gold.

Chrysalis stared at the patterns, unable to make mane or tail of it.

The strange mechanical pony spoke from somewhere behind her. "When you are ready, step on the circles to begin."

Chrysalis didn't understand anything going on, but far be it from her to waste time. She marched forward and took her place in the left circle, where she could keep an eye on both the door and the others, in case there was some strange betrayal brewing.

Cozy Glow, hovering beside her, seemed far less confident. "I still don't get why we're taking orders from a stupid robot," she fussed.

Tirek and Sombra arrived at the top shortly, and Sombra immediately took his place in the golden circle, while Tirek grabbed Cozy Glow and sat her down in right circle, holding her down with arms long enough to hold her there as he took his own place on the circle furthest from the door.

"Hey, what are you doing! You brute! You're supposed to be my fr—"

"I have no friends," Tirek spoke down to her. "And neither do you."

The room began to glow a soft blue from light emitted by the circles, and a similar glow from the automaton.

A monotone droning erupted from the automaton. "How many dicks have you sucked off?"

Chrysalis furrowed her brow in thought. There was the one... and then... that other one... and...

"So, is there a pen or something?" Tirek interrupted her thoughts. "Do we circle a number of the dots on the plates here, or...? How is this supposed to work?"

"If your answer is even, step on the left side of the plate. If your answer is odd, step on the right side of the plate. Your answers will be tallied together to find an even or odd total, and then the door will open."

"I thought you said the truth opens the door?" Cozy accused. "How can we trust you?"

"I am familiar with how they are made," Sombra replied. "They come from my time. They aren't always forthcoming, but they cannot lie."

"The truth will open all doors," Jack reiterated.

"Which means a lie will not open all of them," Tirek concluded.

If Changelings could sweat, Chrysalis would be the most malodorous creature in Equestria right now. How could she possibly remember after so many years...?

Sombra stepped forward, pressing a hoof against the left side of the plate. Cozy Glow hopped forward, doing the same. Tirek pounded a fist down on the left side of the plate, the sound booming out. As each one did so, the respective plate lit up with the same unearthly blue, and the massive rune on the left side of the door highlighted as well.

Chrysalis couldn't recall. It had been far too long. She raised a hoof, eyes flitting back and forth between the two sides of the rune indecisively. Finally, she closed her eyes and put her hoof down.

"All answers accounted for. Prediction Confirmed: Even," Jack droned. The grinding of stone on stone came to Chrysalis' ears, and she opened her eyes. Her hoof had fallen on the left side of the rune.

"Please proceed to verification."

The first thing Chrysalis noticed in the next room was that a wooden coffin on a pedestal in the center of the room where the funeral pyre had been in the previous room, but otherwise was nearly identical.

Deeper inside the temple was her goal–to find whatever magic powered a preserved this place. It must be powerful, given that the coffin seemed almost as if the wood was freshly cut.

The next door lay ahead of her on the next platform. She flew up to the door, prepared for yet another question. The door was identical to the previous room’s door, except that in front of it instead was four circles arranged around the perimeter of a larger circle. No strange square panels for answers this time. No matter; surely that just meant that this door would take a different kind of answer. Something involving the circle

Cozy Glow glided to a halt behind her. “Why are there so many penises on the walls?” she wondered aloud.

Chrysalis had barely even noticed. After centuries of seduction, the male form held little meaning beyond its usefulness for a meager meal. She opened her mouth to answer, but was interrupted by Tirek.

“All males have penises. This particular artist just wanted to make sure they were drawn.” Chrysalis could see through the insincerity of his answer; it was plain as day.

“Oh,” Cozy replied. “Okay!”

It didn’t take long for each to stand on their respective circles, prepared for yet another question.

“Verification in progress for question: How many dicks have you sucked off?”

The circle around Sombra glowed, illuminating his kingly features and presenting a sensation of power. It was a stark contrast to the sudden appearance of the apparition in the larger, central circle: an apparition of Sombra himself performing an impressive act of autofellatio.

“One.” As Jack spoke, the rune on the right side of the door began to glow, and a singular lone dot at the top of the door glowed red.

“Interesting. I did not expect that to count,” Sombra mumbled.

The circle illuminated Tirek next, only to quickly fade away.

Soon, Chrysalis found herself surrounded by the glow. An apparition of a much younger version of herself appeared in the center circle, sucking off some stallion she couldn’t even remember. Was that her first conquest? How many centuries ago would that have been?

“Two.” The right side of the door faded, and the left side illuminated, this time with two red pips.

The illumination remained on Chrysalis as the apparition faded. Another apparition appeared, and once again she saw her younger self eagerly imbibing a phallic throat swab.

“Three.”

A sudden realization came to her mind. “Wait!” she shouted. “Is there any way to speed up this process?”

If Jack heard her, he did not feel it necessary to reply.

Sombra cursed under his breath.

“Any luck?” Tirek asked, throwing a set of dice carved from wood broken off of the coffin.

“Sixteen-thousand-five-hundred-forty-four.”

“I’ve checked every nook and cranny of this chamber with my magic,” Sombra replied. “I cannot find any evidence of another way out.

“Sixteen-thousand-five-hundred-forty-five.”

Tirek selected two of the dice and threw them again.

“I’m getting hungry,” Cozy Glow whined. “I wish I could eat emotions.”

“Sixteen-thousand-five-hundred-forty-six.”

“I wish frustration was edible,” Chrysalis spat, having discovered that she was not permitted to move from her spot. “I’m practically drowning in it.”

Tirek passed the dice to Cozy Glow, who proceeded to shake them violently before casting them across the stone floor. They came up with six, five, four, five, six. She immediately grabbed everything but the sixes and rolled again.

“Sixteen-thousand-five-hundred-forty-seven.”

The three dice all came up sixes. “Trotzee!” Cozy cheered.

“Thirty-three-thousand-nine-hundred-twenty-three.”

“Whose idea was it to play Trotzee without anything to keep score on, anyway?” Sombra complained.

“I don’t even remember,” Tirek replied.

“Thirty-three-thousand-nine-hundred-twenty-four.”

“Hey, that’s you,” Sombra commented.

Tirek looked up, and sure enough – Chrysalis was gagging around his mammoth centaur cock. It had been a shrewd negotiation, but sometimes sacrifices had to be made.

“Thirty-three-thousand-nine-hundred-twenty-five.”

The image faded, only to be replaced with Chrysalis sucking off Sombra instead.

“I believe the phrase is ‘Greatness seeks to gain gratification’” Tirek responded, satisfied. “Clearly, we are both great.”

“Please return to the verification circles.”

“Oh!” Cozy cheered, tossing the dice into the coffin. “Time to go!”

They all returned to their places on the circles. Cozy was surrounded with the glow momentarily, but then everything faded. The side of the door Cozy had come to associate with ‘odd’ numbers was lit in an intense red-the result of red dots shifting to denser and denser patterns to accommodate Chrysalis’ massive list of conquests.

“Answer verified. Result: Odd. Predicted: Even. Mismatched. Please resolve to proceed.”

Tirek slammed his fists together. “How exactly do we resolve this?”

“The result must be made even,” Jack replied.

Chrysalis began to cackle madly.

“What’s so funny?!” Sombra growled. “Surely you have no problem getting down to business when we have no other way to leave this place?”

“The question!” Chrysalis gloated. “Different dicks.”

Tirek and Sombra stared at Chrysalis in confusion, until a slowly dawning realization crossed both of their features. Sombra’s gaze began to drift toward Cozy Glow.

“Hi!” Cozy Glow said, cheerfully. “I’m twelve!”

Tirek’s fist seized Sombra’s horn. “Don’t even think about it.” The low rumble in his voice caused even the ground to tremble in fear.

Sombra gazed up at Tirek. “If we are to conquer Equestria, know that we need to take a lesson from our enemies and work together. Indeed, I was considering Cozy Glow’s abilities for a moment, but I do not believe her to be capable of handling the sheer size of my endowment. You, however, have quite the mouth, and you are certainly capable of inhaling essence that belongs to other ponies.”

Chrysalis chuckled to herself. As a changeling, she could certainly transform into something with a phallus and suck herself off, and it was something she couldn’t recall ever trying before. But this was going to be so much more entertaining to watch.

“Judging from the show we saw, you have some experience in the matter,” Tirek countered, laying down on the ground and exposing his junk. “In fact, it’s quite important that if we are to be a team that I experience the full extent of your abilities!” His arm swept through the air over his flanks, emphasizing his girthy stallionhood.

Sombra glared at Tirek. “Very well. I shall take one ‘for the team’, as the modern ponies say. But if the opportunity arises, you shall do the same.”

“Ha!” Tirek trumpeted. “There is nothing I can conceive of that would be worse than sucking another stallion’s dick. I accept your compromise. Now, Cozy Glow, please–shelter yourself behind me. It would be loathe for you to see such depravity.”

Stepping toward Tirek, Sombra knelt down, reaching out with his magic to grasp at Tirek’s mammoth cock. Even in the thauma of his magic, it was warm and pliable. He opened his mouth to take a brief taste, but paused.

There was a spell for this: a neurofusion spell. One of his many dark magics, and usually used for torture. The spell would allow two ponies to feel each other’s suffering, greatly improving the efficacy of torture, especially for hard-to-break ponies.

But there was nothing in the spell’s construction that would stop it from sharing pleasurable sensations, either. All he had to do was close his eyes, and it would be just like sucking himself off.

A short moment of casting, and Sombra reached out with his tongue tentatively. Just as he expected, he felt his tongue against himself. With his eyes closed, he began to slowly tease up and down his length, savoring the feeling of wet muscle against turgid flesh.

If there was one thing Sombra believed about his own cock, it was that it was worthy of worship, and that’s exactly what he did. Using his own experience and ability to feel what Tirek feels as guidance, Sombra’s hooves reached forward to fondle Tirek’s weighty balls; his tongue, lips, and teeth teased along the entire length of the shaft, down and back, slowly bringing both of them into a fully erect state.

Tirek was dumbstruck. He’d never felt anything so amazing in his entire life–surely not even the most gorgeous and talented of centaur mares (not that there were many of them) could ever manage to bring him to such heights of pleasure so quickly or easily? And Sombra hadn’t even taken him inside yet!

As if reading Tirek’s mind, Sombra opened his jaw and slowly took the tip of Tirek’s shaft inside. Tirek’s size left Sombra’s majestic tool turgidly in second place, but that mattered little to how much Sombra enjoyed the sensations on his cock, and if he were entirely honest, he took some pride in his own skill.

He went deeper on Tirek’s shaft, the tip of the mammoth dong swabbing the back of his throat. The pleasure was building–Sombra could tell he was approaching release. Was that the spell’s doing, in which case Tirek was also close? Or was that simply his own hair trigger?

Tirek’s hands suddenly came down on Sombra’s head, as Tirek drove his shaft down Sombra’s throat. His airway suddenly blocked, Sombra’s eyes shot open, watering profusely.

A strange pulsing sensation deep in his esophagus told him that Tirek was cumming. And he was, in turn, cumming too. But he was in no position to enjoy it, as his body desperately fought for air.

Tirek sighed in pleasure as he found his release deep in Sombra’s throat. Chrysalis began to laugh once again as Sombra began thrashing about on the floor.

Once they had returned to the circles, the blue light erupted around Sombra a second time. This time, a silhouette of Sombra thrashing about while impaled on Tirek’s dick played out again, sending Chrysalis into another fit of giggles.

“Thirty-three-thousand-nine-hundred-twenty-six. Answer verified. Result: Even. Predicted: Even. Matched. Please proceed to the next chamber.”

The door slid open, and the four stepped into the next room.

Absent the funeral pyre and strange red crystal alcoves, the next room was exactly like the first chamber. Tirek staggered slowly across the room, the sheer intensity of his orgasm impairing his ability to walk as cum dribbled slowly to the floor.

If this was the power they sought, it was certainly something, though he was utterly unsure of how it would help them take over Equestria.

The little automaton, Jack, stood patiently next to another series of circles and square plates. Tirek sighed. If this was going to be a recurring pattern, they might starve just waiting for Chrysalis’s proclivities to be enumerated. He couldn’t be sure exactly how long the last one had taken, but ‘days’ was certainly within the realm of possibilities. Only the food in Tirek’s own saddlebags had stopped them from going hungry.

Still, they were in it for the long haul, now. He took his place on the next set of circles, awaiting what would certainly be another intensely personal question. ‘Carnal Self-Knowledge’ indeed.

Cozy fluttered to a halt over her circle, and Jack began to glow again.

“How many pussies have you eaten?”

Sombra, Cozy, and Chrysalis all stepped forward, providing their answers instantly and causing a rapid shifting of blue light on the door before him–odd, even, odd. Tirek knew his own answer–an astounding ‘zero’-- but he was genuinely shocked to see Chrysalis so confident. Was she just guessing due to sheer volume?

He put forward his hoof and stepped on the ‘even’ side of the plate. The door remained with the ‘odd’ rune highlighted.

"All answers accounted for. Prediction Confirmed: Odd. Please proceed to verification."

The door slid aside.

None of them had much energy to speak at this point. They’d been in this place for too long already and only managed to see the inside of five rooms, with no sign of egress and not a single hint as to how they might take the temple’s power for their own. Tirek was beginning to consider consuming the automaton’s power, but if that failed, would they be immediately stranded without any way to leave?

He’d pondered it thoroughly, and still the question sat in the back of his mind.

“Verification in progress for question: How many pussies have you eaten?”

Sombra’s circle enveloped him in light. A gorgeous alabaster mare’s thighs clamped around Sombra’s head appeared in the simulacrum, silently crying out in bliss. The light faded, and then it was Chrysalis’ turn.

Much to Tirek’s surprise, Chrysalis appeared a scant seven times in the temple’s strangely intrusive memory reader, most of them a much younger Chrysalis.

“What are you staring at?” she demanded. And then almost as if in immediate defense, “I do not like the taste, and only perform when absolutely necessary.”

Tirek shrugged as the glow appeared around himself. Nothing appeared.

All eyes turned to Cozy Glow. The filly had answered with ‘odd’, which excluded zero. Tirek hoped that she only misunderstood the question. She was far too young to be exposed to such things.

The glow faded without fanfare.

“WHAT?!” Cozy Glow shouted. “I absolutely have eaten pussy before!”

“The temple does not make mistakes,” Jack stated flatly.

“Maybe we need to clarify the question,” Sombra suggested. “When you say ‘how many pussies have you eaten?’, what qualifies as ‘eaten’?

“Brought to orgasm via oral stimulation,” Jack replied cheerfully.

Cozy tilted her head. “Orgasm?”

“Oh yes,” Chrysalis replied. “It’s when you convulse and scream and feel good.”

“Bug!” Tirek shouted menacingly. “I will not tolerate this corr–”

“Oh!” Cozy said, brightening. “It convulsed and screamed, but I don’t think it felt very good. It died shortly after, and I didn’t finish it. Maybe that’s why it didn’t count.”

Tirek exchanged worried glances with the other two. Had she just confessed to…

Before any words were exchanged, Chrysalis was consumed with green fire and Princess Cadance stood before them. Without hesitation, she stuck her ass into Sombra’s face. “Get on with it, lover boy,” she cooed. “We need to keep moving.”

While Sombra sat there, stunned by this development, Tirek took the opportunity to snag Cozy Glow.

“Hey! Put me down!” Cozy shouted. “Why do you keep hiding me from everything!”

“You aren’t mature enough for this,” Tirek insisted.

“Don’t treat me like a child!” The tiny filly struggled helplessly against Tirek’s grip.

Sombra stared at the pink treasure in front of him. He’d craved this moment, but… it wasn’t real. He knew it wasn’t real.

“Well?” Chrysalis cooed, shaking Cadance’s ass. “Isn’t it everything you’ve ever dreamed of?”

“Change back,” Sombra whispered.

“What was that?” Chrysalis said sweetly. “I couldn’t hear you.”

“I said ‘change back.’”

The multicolored tail swatted him across the face, and a sweet smell from her nethers invaded his nostrils.

“Change!” he roared.

“Hmmm… no. I don’t think I will.”

Sombra lunged forward, tackling her to the ground. “NOW!”

“Oooh, so aggressive! I love a stallion who knows what he wants!” She had to admit, this was both entertaining and also incredibly hot. “How about you finish me off first?”

Sombra stared at the dripping slit before him. This wasn’t… it wasn’t how he wanted this to happen. But that winking clit, and the incredible smell…

Desire won over honor as his tongue brushed against her bulb. She squealed out, convulsing in a near-immediate orgasm. And almost immediately, he had the sickly green flesh of a Changeling’s cunt in his face as Chrysalis let her guise drop.

“Okay,” she said, standing on shaky hooves. “Thank you. We changelings are on a hair trigger, you know. It doesn’t take much.”

Sombra grunted as he stood. “Conniving whore.”

“How many ponies have you engaged with in copro–”

Tirek staggered into the next chamber, drooling and spitting violently as he glared daggers at Sombra.

“That number was way too high,” Sombra observed, chuckling to himself.

“I am an insect,” Chrysalis reminded him. “But I can’t always be sure on exact numbers when things are so common.”

Sombra almost felt bad for Tirek. Almost. But it was a gentlecolt’s agreement, and it had to be upheld, and Sombra had clearly come out on top.

Tirek stopped to vomit in a corner before joining the rest of them at the next round of circles and squares.

“How many ponies have penetrated you?”

“Can you define penetrated?” Chrysalis asked, looping one of her holes over Sombra’s horn for emphasis.

“Certainly!” Jack replied. “For the purpose of this question, penetration is defined as any sexual organ passing into the vaginal or anal cavity.”

Chrysalis nodded.

“Does it make a difference?” Sombra said. “Do you really have a precise enough answer that you aren’t just guessing?” He turned to Tirek. “Go ahead, press whatever you want! It won’t make a difference.” He slammed his hoof down on the Even side of the plate.

“Well, you aren’t wrong,” Chrysalis replied. “Jack, could you be useful for once and provide us with some food? I believe we will be waiting for a while.”

“The temple provides no food, water, or other sustenance except what can be found in the chambers.”

“Tch, fine.” She transformed into Cadance again. “Sombra, do you think you can provide enough lust for this form to keep me alive?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Because we will starve to death waiting for this count, and I can reform flesh that is lost. It won’t taste good, but if you can provide me enough sustenance, I may be able to stay alive long enough for the rest of you to survive as well.”

“That’s bucked up,” Cozy Glow retorted. “I’m not eating any of it.”

“Where did you learn such language?” Tirek shook his head. “But I agree. That sounds utterly unpalatable.”

“Just you wait,” Chrysalis replied. “Not that you’ll have any choice in the matter.” She stepped up to the circles and stepped on the plate.

Tirek shrugged. “We will see.” He stepped on the even plate.

With their answers locked in, Jack sprang to life again. "All answers accounted for. Prediction Confirmed: Odd. Please proceed to verification."

Chrysalis knew this was the end of the line. She needed Sombra’s lust to feed her, or they would not survive. The numbers here would be astronomically high. Thousands of years, hundreds of thousands of partners, and they had no food to speak of.

Another room, another geometric hell. Chrysalis hadn’t bothered to change back to her true form; she needed every shred of lust.

Sombra’s circle illuminated the room, and then fell dark. The light surrounded Chrysalis. The simulacrum came to life, a young Twilight Sparkle with her horn being shoved quite enthusiastically into Cadance.

“One.”

The light faded, and next was a young Shining Armor mounting Cadance.

Something was wrong. These weren’t Chrysalis’ memories.

“Two.”

The light faded and moved to Tirek, only to fade again.

“WHAT?!” Chrysalis shrieked. “Are you bucking serious right now?!”

Light surrounded Cozy Glow. An image appeared.

The other three looked on in shock as a stallion pounded away at a tiny filly.

“Oh, hey, look!” Cozy replied. “That’s my dad and I playing his favorite game!”

Tirek’s eyes went wide. “I’ll kill him!”

“Golly, Tirek, that was what the other ponies said right before they killed him, too. I saw the whole thing! It was real messy, too, and then somepony sent me into a foster home.”

“This explains… far too much,” Tirek muttered.

Author's Note

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