Chapters Chapter 2: The Karma Begins
Chapter 2: The Karma Begins
Vegeta opened his eyes.
He was lying on the ground in a wooded area. He tried to sit up.
“What the fuck?” he said feeling his body. He looked back at himself. Then he closed his eyes and hung his head.
“The gods must be punishing me…” he thought.
He thought back over the wish. “‘Everfree Forest’ and ‘materialized’…” he said out loud. He looked down at his “hands”. “Isn’t the Everfree that spooky forest where all the bad stuff happens? …Yes that must be it. She wished My Little Pony was real… and then…”
Vegeta spent a minute or two moving various parts before he attempted to stand on all four legs. Then he twisted his neck to look behind him as he watched what twitching different back muscles did to the gigantic set of wings. He noticed something and attempted to twist his new body to get a better look at his rear. He then checked the other side. “Hmmm… No butt tattoo,” he said out loud.
Vegeta gingerly took several steps before he trusted his new body to move on its own. He pushed his way through the bushes and low limbs. “Bulla!? Bulla, where are you? It’s Daddy! You’re not in trouble, Princess! Just answer me!”
Suddenly Vegeta heard a growling sound. He looked to his left and saw a giant creature. “And you look like a carnivore,” he thought.
The creature roared.
“Look you,” he turned to face it, “I don’t have time to deal with you, so buzz off!”
The creature braced its legs and arched its back.
“Fine,” Vegeta mimicked the pose, “You want to play? Let’s…” His ears drooped. “I can’t feel my energy.”
Vegeta was now running for his life from an angry manticore. His screams of help were punctuated with screams of pain as his feathers kept getting ripped out by the bushes in his path. “Now I know what a chicken feels like ,” he thought. “Bulla!” he screamed, “When we get home you’re grounded for a month!”
Suddenly he spotted an opening. He reeled right and dashed as fast as his new legs would take him. Then the thundering footsteps stopped. Vegeta looked behind him, when he should have been looking forward.
Vegeta ran right off the cliff and promptly plummeted.
“I can’t fly! I can’t fly!” he shouted trying desperately to pull some fragment of energy below him. Then the wind flipped him on his back. “Wait! I have wings!” He tried to flip back upright, “Come on! Spread out! Spread out!”
Vegeta’s wings unfurled violently, jerking his body upright. Then he felt a snap behind his left shoulder. Vegeta twisted into the cliff then rolled to the bottom.
He lay still for some time. Finally, he started to shift.
Vegeta shakily came to his hooves. He winced as he tried to look behind him. His left wing was limp. After twitching some muscles, he assumes it was dislocated if the wing joint was structured similar to a sapiens’ shoulder socket. Vegeta slowly shuffled away, careful to be as quiet as possible.
“Bulla better be alright,” he thought, “But this is her world. She knows this place inside and out. She is going to be just fine. And when this is all over, she will be grounded for a year.”
Vegeta spotted a stream. He hid in the bushes and scouted out the wildlife.
He saw nothing larger than rabbits for some time. Then he looked up at the sky.
“Sun’s getting low. Predators will be out soon,” he thought as Vegeta struggled to his hooves.
He carefully approached the water, looking for any signs of crocodiles or other water creatures.
Suddenly the sky went dark almost instantly. Vegeta looked up. “There must be a mountain blocking the sunset,” he tried to be rational. He returned to the water. He tiptoed to the edge, being careful to check the firmness of the bank with each step. Vegeta stuck his tongue in then quickly pulled it back into his mouth.
“Good, it's fresh,” he thought.
Then he noticed his reflection. He put his right hoof on his head to feel.
“Ok…” Vegeta said out loud, “I am both a pegasus and a unicorn at the same time… I did not know creatures like this existed.” He stood back on his four legs and looked at his full profile. He raised his good wing carefully to get an idea of his size.
Vegeta was as tall as he was as a Saiyan. Including the horn, he may be even taller than Piccolo. He was as black as black could be. His large eyes were so dark it was almost impossible to tell iris from pupil. His good wing was as long as he was tall, plus the horn meaning his full span was as long as a stretch limo. He had no hair forward of his ears, but otherwise had a long mane that looked like a flag swirling in a strong wind.
“Wait a sec?” he said as he took a second look at his curly tail.
It was waving too despite his full control over its movement. He sighed frustrated.
It took several minutes for him to figure out how to swallow and not drown at the same time. Then he searched for a nearby place to rest. He found a large overhang near where the stream passed by the cliff face. It looked too perfect for his tastes. He searched the area, but found no signs of footprints, eating, or excrement. Nothing but a patch of blue-leaved plants growing in an unshaded area next to the half-cave.
“Well, if you’re poison, Bulma will be contacting Namek soon enough,” Vegeta said, walking through it to get underneath.
He tried to find a way to rest that did not aggravate his wing, but was only moderately successful.
As he was about to nod off, he got the sudden sensation he was being watched. Vegeta jumped to his hooves, “Who’s there? Show yourself!”
Nothing.
He exited back through the blue plants and his instincts drew him the few yards to the stream. Vegeta thought he saw a reflection of eyes in the water for a split second, but when he blinked all that remained was the moon. He looked up and saw a moon in the canopy clearing.
“It seems large enough to be the only satellite,” he thought, “Most twin moon fantasies have smaller ones.”
Vegeta took an extended blink.
“Life has taught me prayer is useless,” he began, “But I also know few human stories are without beings to be prayed to. Whoever is out there, protect my daughter. You owe Bulla’s love for your existence. Please repay it.”
Vegeta wandered back to the overhang and fell asleep in the soft blue foliage.
Chapter 3: A Dream Come True
Chapter 3: A Dream Come True
Bulla opened her eyes. She was in a very familiar looking forest. Her eyes widened and she gasped, grinning from ear to ear.
Bulla tried to stand and discovered four wiggling legs. She looked at herself. She was snow white with her tail being her same blue hair. She saw no wings. She felt her head. Bulla carefully came to her hooves and tested out her limbs. Then she started to bounce.
“I’m a unicorn! I’m a unicorn! I’m a unicorn!” she sang. Suddenly she tripped over herself. “Oweee.” She found a stinging scuff mark on her front left leg. Bulla stood up again, “Guess I need to practice more.”
Bulla walked through the forest. Her grin returned long ago as she studied the trees looking for familiar features. She gasped and ran over to a tree. She spun around in a circle, “These are the trees from Pinkie’s scary song!” She looked down at the ground, “And the road!”
“I know where I am~! I know where I am~!” she pranced. Then she stopped, “Wait the manticore is up ahead.” Then she walked around in a circle, “Or is it the river?” She shrugged her shoulders, “Well when I find one, I find the other.” Bulla chose a random direction.
She made her way slowly along the road, twitching her ears in every direction to listen for the manticore. A deep roar startled her, and she ducked into a bush.
The manticore sounded far away, and the crashing was fading fast. Then there was nothing.
Bulla came back onto the road.
“And what are you doing here little girl? The Everfree Forest is not the place to take a whirl.”
Bulla’s eyes widened and began to sparkle as her smile devoured her face. “You’re Zecora!” She began to bounce around her. “You’re Zecora! You’re Zecora!” she sang.
Zecora was taken aback. “Don’t tell me that this good cheer means I am the reason you ventured here?”
“Oh I didn’t just come to see you. I came to see everyone!” Bulla continued to dance.
Zecora thought. “Then you are not from Ponyville?”
“Nope.”
“Where are the ponies you came with?” she asked. “It is getting late, and your companions will be glad to see you are safe.”
“I’m not with anyone,” she said proudly, “I came here all by myself.”
“You came to this place alone!” Zecora shouted, stomping her front hooves.
Bulla stopped dancing and cowered with her ears pinned back.
Zecora lowered her head to look her in the face, “Do not tell me you have run away from home?”
“I...” Bulla stuttered, “I don’t know what running away means.”
“To run away from home is when a child leaves home intending to never return,” Zecora said, “Don’t you understand how much your fate is of your family’s great concern?”
“I’m not leaving forever,” Bulla said, “My parents will figure out where I am once they follow the magic…”
“You used a spell to come? Then use it again to go home.”
“I can’t,” Bulla said, “I didn’t cast it. I made a wish to the dragon.”
Zecora stared at the small filly. “Come with me, child. I believe your tale is too long for the wild.”
Bulla followed, looking up at her cautiously with her head lowered and ears pinned back.
Zecora glanced back. “I bet you have a lovely name, to go with that pretty mane,” she smiled, trying to relax her.
“My… name… is… is Bulla, Miss Zecora, Ma’am.”
“Bulla?” she asked, “Bulla what?”
“Bulla Brief, Ma’am.”
“And how old are you, little one?”
“I’m this man…” Bulla began to hold out her right hoof. “Oopsie…”
Zecora watched her panic.
“Ummm… Ummm….” Bulla walked in such a tight circle she trips over her own hooves. She then covered her face with her hooves and cried.
“Why do you cry in the dirt?” Zecora leaned down, “Are you hurt?”
“No,” Bulla said, “I’m not smart like Mommy. I need my fingers to count. And now I don’t have any…”
“What is a ‘finger’?” she asked.
Bulla leaned up and started pawing at the dirt. Zecora realized she was drawing a picture, but of what she did not know. If the stick drawing was like other childrens’ stick drawings, it’s of a living creature, possibly standing on its hind legs, but whatever it was, her speed and certainty meant she had drawn this many times before.
“This is a finger,” Bulla said pointing at the picture.
“A creature like this I have never met. Is this perhaps your pet?”
“No,” Bulla shook her head, “This is a person,” she tapped the center of the picture. “This is a finger,” she tapped the same line at the edge of the figure again.
Zecora scratched out the picture.
Bulla gasped.
“We don’t have time to talk here. But my house is very near,” she turned forward, “Come.”
They rounded the next turn in the road and Bulla spotted the house tree. Bulla cheered, and ran forward. She danced at the door, “House tree. House tree. I found Zecora’s House tree.”
“And what makes you think this is my home?” she asked, surprised.
“Because it looks just like the pictures~,” Bulla sang.
Zecora lowered her brow. “This filly is very strange,” she thought, “A trip to Twilight’s must be arranged.”
She walked over to the dancing filly, “Come. Let us go eat. I believe you will enjoy my special treat.”
“Yeah!” Bulla began to hop in a circle, until she tripped over herself again. “Owee…”
Zecora nuzzled her to her feet. Then they walked inside. Bulla’s eyes sparkled as she ran around the home looking at everything.
“Come here little one and sit. So, I can cook something you cannot resist.”
Bulla ran over and sat politely on the pillows. Zecora made a dandelion salad with hay, lettuce, carrots and strawberries. She carried the bowl and a cup of water over to Bulla.
Bulla attempted to eat, and to Zecora’s surprise, struggled like a newborn’s first attempts to chew. Her attempt to drink was also disastrous. She gave up on lifting the cup with her magic, then spilled 90% of the water before dropping the cup on the floor.
“I got it!” Bulla jumped off the cushions. She put her hoof on it to pick it up, but it did not stick. She tried several times before switching hooves.
“I think that is enough,” Zecora said, “Even a changeling foal would not be so inept at mimicking on their first attempt.” She lowered her head to look at the now very frightened foal, “What are you, truly? Before I get unruly.”
Bulla backed up into the pillows with her ears pinned back. She started to scream and cry. “You’re not this mean on the TV,” she whimpered.
“Tee Vee? What is Tee Vee?” Zecora demanded.
“It’s a box that lets you watch things really far away!” she wailed.
Zecora raised her head and glared at Bulla. “Then you used this thing to invade my home! For such a thing you must atone.”
“I don’t use it to watch you! I use it to watch Rarity and the girls!”
“And do you think this will make me feel better? Why do you watch the Elements of Harmony? What else are you not telling me?”
“I… I like learning about friendship!” she cried.
“And why is this? Do not lie!”
“I don’t have any friends!” Bulla shouted at the top of her lungs.
Zecora took a step back. This was the one answer she was not expecting.
She watched Bulla curl into the smallest ball she could and whimper with her front hooves over her eyes.
Zecora inched closer. “And why do you have no friends?” she said softly, “These emotions are not pretend.”
“I live in a really big house, and I’m not allowed to leave. I mean I can go out in the yard. I just can’t go beyond the fence. Mommy’s always busy. My brother’s always out with his friends. And… and Daddy’s scary,” she shivered at the last part. Bulla sniffled, “It’s just me and all my Little Pony toys. I have a bunch of everyone, and and the houses, and and I… I wanted everyone to be my real friends, not pretend anymore…”
Zecora lay down to be at eye level with the small filly. “That picture you drew. Was it really a picture of you? You are a per-Son? And the magic that sent you here also made you such a cute dear?” she comforted.
Bulla uncovered her eyes.
Zecora smiled, “It is alright little one. I promise my scariness is done.” She stood, then nuzzled her. Zecora lifted her head, “It seems I have some lessons to give, if in Ponyville you want to live.”
Bulla looked up at her.
Zecora smiled, “First you must learn to eat and drink. The rest will come after 40 winks. The sun will soon set and the moon will rise, and it will be time to close sleepy eyes.” She nuzzled Bulla again.
Bulla nodded, still sniffling. Then she hunched her shoulders.
“What is it?” Zecora asked, worried.
She blushed, “Ummm… can you give me a lesson on what a pony body does when food is gone first?”
Zecora giggled, “Of course little one. This way.” She led her to the bathroom.
~~***~~
“You seem tired, Sister,” Luna asked.
“The sun, it felt… heavy tonight, for some reason,” Celestia said.
“Yes, the moon too feels heavy,” Luna said, “And the stars are… distant. It is much more difficult to move them just a few inches. It feels like thousands of miles.”
“Are you trying a new pattern Luna?” Celestia asked.
“No,” she shook her head, “And this is not the pattern we left them last night. They have either moved on their own or…”
“Was someone about to say my name?” Discord appeared from the ceiling.
“Discord! What hasth thou done to our stars!” Luna demands.
“Me?” Discord said floating down to the floor, “I have done nothing. I was going to ask you about that great surge of magic this afternoon. I felt like I got struck by lightning.” He put his hands together, placed them on his right cheek, tilted his head and blinked his eyelashes, “The chaos within it was the most beautiful thing I ever experienced.” Then he vanished only to reappear between the princesses. He put his arms over each of their necks and pulled them together in a group hug, “So which of you lovely ladies did it?”
“I thought you did that since it came from Ponyville!” Celestia gasped.
“Why doesth thou accuse us of this deed?” Luna demanded.
“The first I don’t know what it was, but the second burst was most definitely alicorn magic. And Princess Cadence is not even remotely that powerful, and no explosion Twilight has ever caused can hold a candle to it. By process of elimination,” he vanished and reappeared in front of them. He bopped their noses, “That leaves you two.”
“There wast two surges?” Luna said startled, “We hast felt only one!”
“Yes,” Celestia concurred, “There was only one spike.”
“No, there were two from where I was in Ponyville,” Discord said, “They were very close together but there were most definitely two.”
“What is happening there?” Celestia asked, “I haven’t gotten a letter from the girls.”
Discord shrugged his shoulders, “The two surges came from the Everfree Forest. I helped search, seeing that I felt it stronger than anyone, but it was like it never happened. No residue, no phys…”
Luna shook her head.
“What? You don’t believe me?” Discord faked shock.
“Sister?” Celestia asked, worried, seeing her scrunch her nose.
“There is a nightmare forming,” she said, “One of great suffering. Full of fear and anger. We’ve… never felt… anything like this before. Excuse me.” Luna lay down on the floor and closed her eyes. She opened them almost immediately.
“What is it?” Celestia asked.
“The dreamer sensed we wast there and startled awake,” Luna said unnerved, “We… I have never woken a soul before…” she tried to correct her accent. She looked up at Celestia, “But was not a pony I felt. The being was full of pride. Perhaps a griffon hath entered our kingdom?”
Suddenly a scroll materialized in front of Celestia’s face.
“Well,” Discord crossed his arms, “That must be the letter from Twilight.”
Celestia opened it.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today we felt two powerful surges of magic come from the Everfree Forest. I don’t know if you felt it as far away as Canterlot, but it was very powerful here.
At first we all thought it was Discord, until he appeared and asked us what had happened. We searched the forest, but other than a mother manticore saying she chased a black pegasus away from her nest, there was nothing unusual.
We did search for the pegasus to see if he was all right, but all we found were black feathers caught in the bushes.
There was no trace of any of the magic in the forest that we could find. Not even Pinkie Pie felt anything.
We will search again tomorrow.
Sincerely yours,
Twilight Sparkle
Celestial realized Discord was floating over her shoulder.
“Well, well,” he said, “She didn’t mention the blood we found at the bottom of the cliff.”
“Blood?” Celestia gasped.
“Yep, Twilight cast a spell on it to see if it was pony blood. But it was negative. It actually came back as nothing at all. But it definitely wasn’t red paint, that’s for sure.”
“Could this spell say if it wast griffon blood?” Luna asked.
“Oh, yes. It most definitely would have.” Discord said, “Twilight was very adamant it could identify everything.”
Luna closed her eyes again. She scrunched her nose.
“I’d be careful with that face, Luna,” Discord chuckled, “It looks like you’re taking a poop.”
“An Alicorn!” she screamed suddenly, jumping so high she almost embedded her horn in the plaster ceiling. “Sister, Sister!” Luna said panicking, “We saw a black Alicorn through the moonlight. It was gravely injured. Perhaps an ascension was what we felt?”
She turned to Discord, “Takest us to the place of blood.”
Discord took his finger to his chin, “Now is that the ‘Royal We’ or do you want me to take the both of you? It is extremely hard to tell what you mean when you talk like that.”
“Just take Luna,” Celestia ordered, “I will alert the medical staff.” She galloped off.
“All right then, Princess Luna. Hold on,” Discord said, wrapping himself around her like a snake.
They vanished.
They reappeared in the Everfree Forest. Discord unwrapped himself. Luna looked frazzled.
“What kind of teleportation magic is that?!” she screamed.
“That felt a little tingly, didn't it?” Discord chuckled.
“Where wast the blood?” she asked.
“Over here,” Discord said. He led her to the cliff.
Luna sniffed, “Yes tis doeth smell like blood.” She noticed the rocks and dirt and looked up the cliff. “Something fell down the cliff. Impacted about half way.” She looked at Discord, “Did the girls even notice this?”
“Yes,” he said, “but it was decided nothing could be done. There were so many tracks, Fluttershy couldn’t tell which way was up. And with no feathers there was no proof it was the pegasus, plus the blood wasn’t pony.”
“The alicorn was at the river,” Luna said, “North of here.” She galloped off.
“This is the spot,” Luna said, spinning around. “Alicorn! Alicorn!” she shouted running around, “Alicorn!”
“If the pony just ascended, why would it respond to Alicorn?” Discord said.
Luna glared at him, “Help us look!”
“Can’t you sense where he is from his dreams?” he asked.
“Only if he’s dreaming!” she confronted him, “And he’s not! Help us look.”
Discord searched quietly while Luna continued to shout. Then he noticed the half cave. He walked over and searched the bushes. Then he noticed something in the poison joke.
He used his powers to move the leaves without touching them.
“Ho oh,” he chuckled. “I think I’ll just leave this alone for now,” he thought rubbing his hands, “This is going to be so much fun.”
“Have you found anything?”
“No nothing yet!” Discord shouted. He tiptoed away.
An hour later, the two returned to the palace.
“What type of teleportation magic are you using on us!” Luna screamed again.
Celestia and two guards ran up. “Did you find him?” she asked.
Luna hung her head, “No… we cannot sense him in either the dreamscape or the moonlight.”
“What does that mean sister?!” Celestia gasped, fearing the worst.
“Now. Now,” Discord said, trying to calm them, “It probably means this pony is hiding somewhere where there is no moonlight and is having a dreamless sleep.” He extended his arms like rubber bands, grabbed the princesses by their necks and pulled them close into a hug, “Now why don’t you go to bed, Celestia, and Luna can keep an eye out for his dreams. That’s all we can do right now, agree?”
Celestia sighed, “Unfortunately… it appears you are right.” She looked at her sister, “Keep an eye out for him.”
Luna nodded.
“Excellent!” Discord said. He popped upside down in front of them. “I believe this would be my cue to say ‘tootles’.”
Discord vanished.
Celestia and Luna exchanged glances. Then Celestia walked towards her chambers. Luna headed to the night court.
~~***~~
As the night continued, the guards and the courtiers noticed Luna was quite distracted.
“Forgive me,” a Lady asked, “But you seem distracted tonight?”
Luna raised her head. “Oh!” she said surprised, “Please forgive me. The children seem to be having many nightmares tonight. It is quite odd.”
The courtiers nodded. “Yes, my Lady,” several said bowing and curtsying.
Luna closed her eyes again, searching the dream world for the suffering she felt. Then she felt a child’s twinge of fear, but it was not a pony. She delved inside.
She saw an odd, bipedal creature with no fur, save for the blue mane on her head, dressed in white and pink clothing. The creature appeared to have been playing with the Elements and Zecora, but now was hiding under Rarity. Luna turned to look at what she was looking at. There was a swirl of darkness around a creature.
Luna gasped and took several steps back.
“King Sombra!” she thought, “No. It can’t be!”
Then the creature raised a limb, and Luna saw it was a biped like the child. The dark swirl was joined by a wild explosion of flame. It gathers the fire in its paw for a fire spell.
“Daddy! I’m sorry! Please!” the child screamed. The spell released.
Luna jumped in between and used her power to dispel the flames and darkness. Then she turned around and lowered her head. “Come here, child,” she said softly.
The creature crawled out from under Rarity. It ran over and to her shock, the child penetrated the barrier and hugged Luna’s leg.
“This creature has the power to control dreams as well?” she thought, “What is this thing?”
Luna’s fear was superseded by concern as the sound of the child’s sobbing broke her from her thoughts. She nuzzles it. “It is all right, child. No harm will come to thee. My name is…”
“Luna,” the child interrupted, “Princess Luna.”
Luna was surprised. She tried to nuzzle the creature off her leg for it to only cling tighter.
“Its strength?!” she thought.
“What is your name child?” Luna asked softly.
“Bulla,” it answered.
“Forgive me little one, but I have never witnessed your kind before. Are you male or female?”
Bulla looked up with her tear-soaked face. Luna knew she did not recognize the words.
“A colt or filly? … …How about a boy or girl?”
“I’m a girl,” Bulla answered.
“How old are you?” Luna asked.
At this the child released her grip on her leg and Luna used the reprieve to lay down so she was eye level with this girl. She watched Bulla count on her pudgy claws.
“Five,” she said, holding out her paw with its digits spread out.
“And what brings you to Equestria, little one?” Luna said sweetly.
Bulla looked at the ground. She grabbed her skirt and wringed it in her paws. “Miss Zecora says what I did was ‘running away from home’,” she said sheepishly.
“And what do you think you did?” Luna asked.
“I just came to visit!” Bulla pleaded, “I didn’t mean anything bad! I… I just…” She looked back down at her twisted skirt in her hands, “I just wanted a friend. Even just for a little while… Until Mommy and Daddy find me and take me home…”
Luna glanced back at her dream frozen in time. “You heard a story of the Element Bearers and have journeyed to greet them?”
Bulla nodded slowly.
“How did you journey here?” Luna asked, “You seem too young to come alone.”
“I used a wish to come here and turn me into a pony,” Bulla said, “Miss Zecora found me in the Everfree. She is taking me to Ponyville tomorrow.”
Luna’s eyes widened. “Is this creature?” she thought.
“What type of pony are you?” she asked.
“I’m a white unicorn with a blue tail,” Bulla said proudly, “But…” she returned to being quiet, “But I haven’t seen a mirror so I don’t know what my head looks like.”
“Then how do you know you are a unicorn?”
“I touched my head,” Bulla said, raising her right hand and pretending to touch a horn before returning to wringing her skirt, “I don’t have a cutie mark either.”
Luna’s ears twitched forward and back as she thought.
“You said you came here as a ‘wish’. What do you mean?”
“I made a wish on the dragonballs,” Bulla said.
Luna’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “A wish on a dragon’s-s-s balls?” she stuttered.
“Yes. They’re magic gems about this big,” Bulla let go of her skirt and showed their size with her hands, “There’s seven of them.”
Luna smiled and was visibly relieved.
“What did you think I said?” Bulla asked, confused.
Luna blushed and waved her hoof, “Oh! Nothing child. Nothing at all!” She cleared her throat, regaining her composure. “So how did you know about these ‘dragon balls’? How did you find them?”
“Daddy took me dragonball hunting,” she said, starting to wring her skirt again.
“Your Daddy?” Luna asked surprised, “The one you envisioned as the dark monster engulfed in flames?”
Bulla nodded slowly.
“Why did your father take you hunting?”
“I don’t know,” Bulla said, “He just woke me up on Christmas Eve and he carried me out the window.”
“What is Christmas?” Luna asked.
Bulla was surprised, “But you have a Christmas. With all the snow? And the Christmas trees? And the wreaths? And the ribbons? And all the jingle bells?”
“That would be Hearth’s Warming Eve, darling,” Luna smiled. “What is your Eve like?”
Bulla became excited, “We have twinkling lights, and songs, and cookies, and and gingerbread houses, and and candy, and magic snow-people, and Santa Claus flies all over the world with his reindeer and gives toys to every good boy and girl in the ENTIRE world in one night.”
Luna could tell she was very proud of being able to recite that. “That sounds absolutely wonderful, little one,” she said. Then she turned serious, “You are frightened by your father. If he is the one who gave you these gems to wish on, why do you fear punishment? Did you not tell him the truth of what you wanted to wish for?”
Bulla twisted her skirt again, “I… Daddy just told me to wish for what I always wanted.”
“But did he know you wanted to visit Equestria? I am certain he did not know you wanted to be a pony.”
Bulla started to cry.
Suddenly the dreamscape turned pitch black. The darkness began to swirl around them with fury. Bulla fell to her knees and as she wailed, the angry beast became stronger and stronger.
Luna used her power to quell the storm, but it did not work. Soon she was putting more magic into banishing the darkness than she did into controlling the night sky, but it refused to obey. She opened her eyes from clenching them.
“This creature,” she thought watching Bulla cry, “Doeth she not know… wait, she’s a child. Of course she can’t control her magic…”
“Wake up child!” she screamed.
The roar of the vortex responded by raising its own volume. Soon even Luna could not hear her own voice.
Luna started to panic. She stared at the wailing girl. “Forgive me, child,” She spun around, “Wake up Bulla!”
Luna opened her eyes. She was back in the throne room, and glowing a blistering white across her whole body. As her magic faded, she looked around the terrified hall. Luna glanced behind her and saw she had shattered the throne by bucking the back.
“Excuse me,” Luna said. She stumbled from the throne room, shivering and dripping with sweat. Free from the eyes of the nobles, she permitted herself to collapse in the hallway.
The guards rushed to her aid. “Princess Luna? What’s wrong?”
“If that is the power of the child,” she panted, “What of the father?”
~~***~~
In Zecora’s home, Bulla screamed and tumbled from bed. She held her throbbing head. It almost felt like she had been bucked in the face.
“Oh, thank goodness, you’re awake,” Zecora looked down at her, “Your magic was making my house quake.”
Bulla opened her eyes and looked around. The inside of the house was smashed, almost like what Rainbow Dash did during the poison joke incident. She started to cry.
Zecora lay next to her and wrapped her hoof over the little filly, pulling her close.
Chapter 4: Ponyville
Dawn came, and Zecora slowly raised herself to her hooves without waking Bulla. She left the sleeping filly on the floor and went to make a quick breakfast for herself.
When Bulla woke up a few hours later, Zecora was back at her side. “Welcome back to Equestria, child. I trust your recent dreams were more mild?”
Bulla looked up at her. She seemed spent.
Zecora nuzzled her, “Come. Let’s clean you up and get dressed. We can’t have you meeting your heroines in such a mess.”
Bulla shakily got to her hooves and almost immediately tripped over herself. Zecora lifted her with her hoof and supported her as she randomly moved her legs towards the bathroom. Bulla stumbled into the wash tub and got a good scrub and brushing from Zecora.
She then carried the young filly wrapped in a towel back to the main room. Bulla slumped down and groggily stared at the simple hay breakfast.
“I know you did not sleep well little one, but to Ponyville we will go once you’re done.”
Bulla inched closer to the plate and began to haphazardly chew. Zecora watched her for a short time, then went searching through her bags of herbs and potions. She soon returned, and sprinkled brown beans onto the hay. Bulla sniffed.
“These are…”
“Coffee?” Bulla asked.
Zecora nodded, “Yes. These will taste bitter. But they will wake you up quicker.”
The bitterness woke up Bulla long before the caffeine, but she was a good girl and finished the hay with a few eating lessons from Zecora. After the accompanying drinking lessons, Zecora put on her cloak. And with the caffeine now turning Bulla back into a pogo stick, they headed to town.
They exited the forest, and Bulla ran over to the fence. Her smile consumed her face and her eyes sparkled. “Sweet Apple Acres!”
Bulla suddenly ran under the fence and took off.
“Bulla! Come back!” Zecora shouted, but she had disappeared into the orchard.
~~***~~
Applejack was bucking apples with Big Mac when they heard “Bulla! Bulla! Answer me!”
“That sounds like Zecora,” she said.
“E-yep”, Big Mac said.
“Let’s go see what the trouble is,” Applejack said running off.
“E-yep,” Big Mac followed.
“Bulla!” Zecora continued to yell.
“Hey there Zecora,” Applejack said, “What ya doing?”
“Applejack, have you seen a little unicorn with a white coat and blue mane and tail? Her name is Bulla Brief.” Zecora shook her head, “That little filly has given me so much grief.”
“Sounds like yah’ve got a tale to tell,” Applejack said.
“E-yep,” Big Mac echoed.
~~***~~
Bulla’s wide-eyed adventure had turned slightly more serious as she realized she was lost, but only slightly.
“Hello?” she said loudly, “Anyone here?” Suddenly she gasped, “Apple barrels!”
She ran over to a set of trees with barrels full of apples under them.
“Wow…” Bulla said, marveling from tree to tree. Then she saw an apple on the ground. She picked it up gently with her teeth and went to put it in a barrel.
“Hey! We don’t take kindly to apple rustlers around here.”
Bulla looked over and saw Apple Bloom. Bulla put the apple in the barrel and ran over.
Apple Bloom was startled by this strange unicorn staring at her with stars in her eyes.
“You’re Apple Bloom!” she said excitedly. Then she started to hop around her singing, “You’re Apple Bloom~! You’re Apple Bloom~! You’re Apple Bloom~!”
“Hey! Stop that!” Apple Bloom shouted.
Bulla stopped and nervously rubbed her left leg with her right hoof.
“Who are ya?” Apple Bloom demanded, “What ya doin’ stealing apples?”
“I wasn’t stealing apples…”
“Oh yeah?!” It was Apple Bloom’s turn to get in her face, “Then why’d ya have an apple in your mouth!”
“I… was putting it in the basket. It… was on the ground.”
“Then why didn’t ya use your hooves?” she demanded, “Or your magic? You’re a unicorn ain't ya!”
“I… can’t…”
“Stop mumbling!”
“I can’t pick things up with my hooves or use magic yet!” Bulla shouted. She blushed.
“Don’t give me that! You’re how old now?”
“I’m five…” Bulla said.
Apple Bloom circled Bulla as she shrank into a small ball. “You’re a little big for five, ain’t ya?”
“I… I wouldn’t know…”
“Of course ya would! Don’t ya have any friends?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I don’t have any friends!” Bulla shouted at the top of her lungs.
~~***~~
“Did you hear that?” Applejack said.
“E-yep,” Big Mac said.
“That sounds like Bulla,” Zecora said.
“Came from the trees we were bucking,” Applejack ran off.
“E-yep,” Big Mac followed with Zecora not far behind.
~~***~~
“What ya mean by that?” Apple Bloom said shocked, “If ya stop stealing, you’d have…”
“My parents never let me out of the house,” Bulla started to cry.
“If your parents never let you out of the house then what ya doin’ here?”
Bulla put her hooves over her eyes and whimpered.
Apple Bloom’s ears pinned back watching the unicorn cry. She inched closer. “What’s your name?”
“Bulla,” she whimpered.
“Well, Bulla…” Apple Bloom looked sheepishly at the ground, “How would ya like to come with me? And… meet my friends?”
Bulla uncovered her eyes. She nodded slowly.
“Ok. Come with me,” Apple Bloom said, turning around.
~~***~~
“Bulla?” Applejack and Zecora continued to call out.
“Applejack,” Big Mac galloped up, “Apple Bloom’s gone.”
“What?! She’s s’possed to… What, ya think she met this filly?”
“E-yep.”
“Let’s get to the clubhouse,” Applejack turned to Zecora, “Come’n ya’ll. This way.”
~~***~~
“Sweet Applesauce, ain’t ya ever walked before?” Apple Bloom asked, “This is like the batillianth time you’ve tripped.”
Bulla hung her head sitting up in the grass. “I’m sorry,” she pouted.
Apple Bloom walked to her left then pointed, “That’s all right. We’re finally here.”
Bulla followed her hoof and saw the clubhouse in a nearby tree.
“The Cutie Mark Crusaders’ Clubhouse!” Bulla bounded to her hooves and despite several tumbles over roots and dips in the grass, arrived before Apple Bloom.
Apple Bloom was surprised at the way the white unicorn stared with her mouth open at the simple wooden treehouse as if she was staring at Canterlot Castle itself.
“Wait a second… How do ya…?”
“Hey Apple Bloom.” Above, Sweetie Bell and Scootaloo came out the door. “What took so…oh, who’s this?” Scootaloo finished her sentence.
“You’re Sweetie Bell and Scootaloo!” the white unicorn shouted excitedly and dashed up the first section of the ramp. But she ran so fast she slipped and began to fall off the platform. Scootaloo grabbed onto her front legs as she dangled over the side.
“What do you think you’re doing?!” Scootaloo said, “Stop messing around and grab onto me!”
Bulla continued to slip, “I’m trying!”
“No you’re not! Use your hoof magic to hold on to me!”
“I don’t know how to use magic!” Bulla shouted.
Bulla finally slipped free and plummeted screaming. She closed her eyes.
But she did not hit the ground.
Bulla opened her eyes. It looked like she was wearing lime-green sunglasses. “Magic?” she thinks. “Magic!” she squealed happily.
“Stop moving!”
Bulla looked through her rear legs and saw Sweetie Belle struggling with her horn aglow.
“Awe…” Bulla whined as Sweetie Belle put her down.
“Awe?! Awe what? That I didn’t drop you on your head?” Sweetie Belle panted.
Bulla pawed the ground, “I thought maybe I did it finally…”
~~***~~
The four sat inside the clubhouse.
“Wow,” Scootaloo said, “I’ve never heard of a unicorn that can’t use magic.”
“Or hold things in their hooves,” Sweetie Belle said sitting down next to Scootaloo, “Where are you from? Your family new in town?”
Bulla shook her head. “My family… is in West City…” she said softly pawing at the floor.
“Then your family is just here visiting?” Scootaloo asked.
Bulla shook her head again.
“But how can you be here if your family isn’t visiting or moving here?” she asked, “That doesn’t make sense. You couldn’t have come here all alone.”
Apple Bloom gasped, “Ya did come here alone, didn’t ya?! Ya said your parents never let ya out of the house.”
Bulla nodded.
It was Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo’s turn to gasp.
“You must be really brave,” Scootaloo said, amazed, “To travel all by yourself?”
“But how did you get here?” Sweetie Belle asked, “Didn’t anyone notice you were without an adult on the train? Or a carriage ride?”
“I didn’t use a train or carriage…” Bulla said, still looking at the floor, “I made a wish on some magic gems to take me here. I only came yesterday…”
“Magic gems?” Sweetie Belle asked, amazed, “What kind of magic gems?”
“They are called Dragonballs,” Bulla said, “You need all seven to make a wish…”
“Where did you get them?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“My Daddy gave them to me as a gift… He told me to wish for whatever I wanted…”
“But ya said your parents never let ya out?” Apple Bloom said confused, “If they are so mean, why give ya the magic gems?”
“My parents buy me whatever I’ve ever asked for… but they can never buy me what I’ve really wanted…”
“Which is?” Scootaloo asked.
“I… I wanted a friend…”
“Well, we’ll be your friends!” Sweetie Belle said standing up, “Won’t we girls?”
The other two nodded. Bulla raised her head and gave a teary smile.
“Hey Bulla,” Scootaloo said standing, “Can I see these ‘dragon balls’ you used to get here? Where you hide them?”
“I… I don’t have them with me. They’re back home.”
The three gasped. “Wait? Doesn’t that mean they can use them to come after you or take you back?” Sweetie Belle asked.
Bulla shook her head, “No. Daddy said after they are used, they turn to stone until the magic recharges.”
“And how long will that be?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Daddy said an entire year.”
“Wow,” Scootaloo said, “You planned to be away from home an entire year? My aunts get mad at me if I’m not home by sunset.”
“I wasn’t planning an entire year,” Bulla begged, “I just thought a week or two until they find me.”
“So West City is a week away?” Apple Bloom asked, “That’s closer than my cosin’ in Appleloosa. How come I ain’t never heard of it before?”
Bulla shook her head, “No, Mr. Goku is good with teleportation magic. He uses it to prank Daddy. I thought that when they find out I’m here, he’d come for me.”
“So you think it will take about a week for them to follow the spell and find you here?” Sweetie Belle asked.
Bulla nodded.
“Well,” Scootaloo said, “Since you’re going to be here a few days, I vote we make you an honorary member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. That way you can stay at our clubhouse until your parents show up.”
Bulla’s eyes widened and sparkled as she started to hop in a circle. “I’m a Cutie Mark Crusader~! I’m a Cutie Mark Crusader~! I’m a Cutie Mark Crusader~!”
“I said an honorary member,” Scootaloo shouted over her singing.
Bulla immediately stopped. “Oh? You mean like how your cousin had to prove herself?”
“Did ya hear about us from me cosin’ Babs?” Apple Bloom asked, “Ya talk like a city girl. Your city near Manehatten?”
Bulla shrunk a little before she quickly thought of a response. She sat up straight, “No. I’ve never met Babs, but I have heard of you guys and your adventures.” She gave an overly honest smile.
“Wow,” Scootaloo jumped in the air flapping her wings, “We’re FAMOUS!” She got into Bulla’s face, “What do you know about me? How do I compare to Rainbow Dash?”
“Well, some people think you’re actually her little sister,” Bulla continued to smile, “but you guys just act that way because you’re such good friends.”
“People?” Sweetie Belle said to herself.
Scootaloo jumped in the air again, “Ponies think I’m the sister of the ACTUAL Rainbow Dash?!”
“Wait a second,” Apple Bloom said walking over, “I may not be as good as my sister, but I know a fake smile when I see one.”
Bulla started backing up.
“Ya miss your family, don’t ya?” she asked.
Bulla smiled at the reprieve, “I… kinda miss Mommy actually.”
“Oh! I know! I know!” Sweetie Belle waved her hoof, “Since you used magic gems to get here, why don’t we go talk to Rarity. She might know something.”
Bulla jumped so high she almost put her horn through the ceiling. “YES! I love Rarity! I have all her toys, and clothes, and and accessories, and I have the biggest play house of Carousel Boutique that’s so big my parents had it specially made!” She started to bounce, “I love her so much! That’s why I love all of you! She starts to circle them, “I love Rarity! I love Applejack! I love Twilight Sparkle! I love…”
While she continued to spout off pony names, the three huddled. “I think she’s getting a little creepy,” Scootaloo whispered.
“Yeyah,” Apple Bloom whispered, “I think the sooner we get her to an adult the better.”
Sweetie Belle nodded.
“…Ditzy Doo! And I love…”
“Hey Bulla! You coming or what?” Scootaloo said at the door.
“I’m coming!” she shouted.
~~***~~
Applejack, Big Mac and Zecora came to the clubhouse.
Applejack called up, “Hey! Apple Bloom, you in there?” She ran up the ramp and through the door. Then she poked her head out the window, “Awe mane, she’s not here.”
Zecora searched the ground. Then she looked up at Applejack, “Two tracks go in. Four tracks come out. Come, this is no time to pout.”
“Oh no,” Applejack said, “That means your filly’s out with the Cutie Mark Crusaders.” She ran down the ramp, “Big Mac. I need ya to go tell Granny Smith what’s happening while I help Zecora.”
“E-yep,” he said, running off.
Applejack turned to Zecora, “Ok now. Let’s go.”
~~***~~
The quartet entered Ponyville, and Bulla quickly made a spectacle of herself running from random pony to pony asking “Hey you’re so-and-so?” then bouncing singing their name.
Sootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom just sat there watching her dash back and forth across town.
“She’s worse than Pinkie Pie, an’t she?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Yep”, “Mmm-hmm,” the two agreed.
Suddenly Bulla just stopped in the middle of the street. She sat down and fidgeted as she looked around. After about a minute, she began to look worried. The three walked up to her when she lay down visibly disappointed.
“What’s wrong?” Sweetie Belle asked.
Bulla looked up, “Pinkie isn’t here. Her Pinkie Sense should have gone off by now…”
The three fillies glanced at each other.
“Well…” Sweetie Belle scratched the back of her head. “Oh. We can stop at Sugarcube Corner on the way to my sister’s,” she said.
“Yippee!” Bulla bounded into the air.
Several minutes later, the four entered Sugarcube Corner.
“Hello there,” Mr. Cake said behind the counter, “Oh, who’s your new friend?”
“You’re Mr. Cake!” Bulla shouted excitedly.
The noise pulled Mrs. Cake from the kitchen.
“And you’re Mrs. Cake!” Bulla began prancing, “Mr. and Mrs. Cake! Mr. and Mrs. Cake! Mr. and…”
“So…” Mrs. Cake smiled, “Who is your new… umm… very excitable, friend?”
“She’s new in town,” Scootaloo said, “Where is Pinkie Pie? She hasn’t shown up yet?”
“Oh, well Pinkie and Rainbow Dash left for Fluttershy’s about an hour ago,” Mr. Cake said, “Pinkie Pie said Gummy had a toothache.”
Bulla stopped bouncing, “Awe… Poor Gummy…”
“But wait,” Apple Bloom said, “How can Gummy get a toothache?”
“My Grampy doesn’t have any teeth and his mouth can hurt,” Bulla said.
“Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Cake,” Sweetie Belle said, “We’ll be at my sister’s.”
Bulla was first out the door.
“Why can’t we just leave her here?” Scootaloo whined.
“Because we told her we’d take her to see Rarity,” Sweetie Belle said, “She’s the only reason she’s here.”
“What are you kids talking about?” Mrs. Cake stepped out from behind the display case.
“Bulla came to Ponyville all by herself without her parents’ permission,” Apple Bloom said.
The Cakes gasped. “And you haven’t told any adults?!” Mrs. Cake scolded.
“We are,” Sweetie Belle said, “Bulla came here because she’s a big fan of my sister’s. So we're taking her there.”
“Well, I’m coming with you children,” Mr. Cake said, herding them to the door, “Let’s go.”
~~***~~
Mr. Cake escorted the children to Carousel Boutique, after scolding Bulla for running off several times.
They came to the boutique, and Mr. Cake thought Bulla was going to explode like Pinkie’s party cannon. She ran squealing into the store.
“This…this is the clothes’ rack! And and the clothes! And and the mirrors! And and and the curtains! And and…” Bulla screamed as she jumped and pranced around the store, when she was not tripping over herself spinning in circles.
“What is the noise down here?! Sweetie Belle is that you?”
Rarity came down the steps. “Oh, Mr. Cake!” she said surprised, “What are you doing here? I hope my sister hasn’t been causing problems?”
Bulla ran from behind a table in front of Rarity.
Rarity looked down at the small filly staring up at her with a smiley face similar to Pinkie’s. She raised her hoof to her chest and cleared her throat, “Oh my, what a charming little filly.” She dropped her hoof, “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Rarity. What’s your name?”
Bulla did the last thing anyone expected— she fainted.
“Bulla!” the four rushed over.
“Oh, good gracious!” Rarity poked Bulla. “Little one? Little filly?”
She did not move. A soft glow surrounded her as Rarity picked her up, “Let’s get her into a bed.”
The others followed Rarity upstairs. She entered her bedroom where Opalesence was sleeping on the bed. She growled when Rarity tried to lift her off the blanket with her magic. “Opal, this is not the time,” Rarity moved her on the floor and placed Bulla on the bed. “You said her name is Bulla?” she asked, tucking her in.
“Yes, it is,” Mr. Cake said, “Sorry for following you in here if this is your bedroom.”
“You’re forgiven,” Rarity said, turning around, “Under the circumstances. So why are you looking after my sister and her friends?”
~~***~~
“She’s run away from home?!” Rarity shouted. She turned back to the bed, “Poor dear must be exhausted. What else do you know about her?”
“That’s all the children said before I escorted them here,” Mr. Cake said looking down at the children, “What else did she tell you about herself?”
All three went to talk at once, then stopped. After three more times of this, Rarity sighed. “Sweetie Belle, you go first,” she ordered.
“Well…” she began, “Scootaloo and I met her when Apple Bloom brought her to the clubhouse. She can’t use magic or pick things up with her hooves. Her family owns a big house in West City and she’s a big fan of yours, Rarity. She says her parents gave her toys of you and a playhouse of the Carousel Boutique.”
“Oh my,” Rarity put her hoof on her chest, “Apple Bloom, how did you meet her?”
“I caught her snitching apples, “Apple Bloom said. “I think she’s creepy. She knows everything about us. About the Cutie Mark Crusaders, about different buildings in town. On the way here she was running ‘round town running up to everypony ‘Oh you’re so-and-so’ and she didn’t get anypony’s name wrong.”
“Yeah,” Scootaloo said, “She’s creepy.”
“I’ve never heard of West City,” Rarity said, “How did she get here?”
“She said her Daddy gave her magical gems that grant wishes and she wished to come here,” Scootaloo said, “But the gems can only be used once a year so her family can’t follow her right away. She said it would take a few weeks for them to find her.”
“Yes,” Sweetie Belle said, “When she said that, we thought we should bring her here.”
“Then how is Mr. Cake here?” Rarity asked.
“When Pinkie Pie didn’t come, she laid down in the middle of the road to wait for her, so we said we’d visit Sugarcube Corner on the way here.”
“Pinkie Pie isn’t in town right now,” Mr. Cake said, “That’s why her ‘New Pony Sense’ didn’t go off.”
Rarity glanced back at Bulla lying in the bed, “Mr. Cake, can you fetch Twilight? She should know about this.”
Mr. Cake nodded and galloped away.
Rarity turned back to the bed after watching him leave and saw Opalescence on the bed with her claws raised.
“Opal! Don’t swat at the poor girl,” Rarity picked her up with her magic and put her on the floor. Then she climbed on the bed and lay next to her.
Sweetie Belle eventually joined her sister. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo soon followed.
Chapter 6: Duel of the Minds
Chapter 6: Duel of the Minds
“What type of creature would choose to bleed to death out of pride?” Celestia said, dumbstruck.
She and Luna were watching Vegeta, bandaged like a mummy, from a large window in his intensive care unit. Bulla had been allowed in the room and had cried herself to sleep next to him on the bed.
She turned to Luna, “What are they dreaming?”
“The girl is so exhausted her body cannot find the strength to dream,” Luna said. Then she turned her head away, “He is having a nightmare… Please don’t make us view those images again…”
“What did you see?”
“Death… and war… true war…” she shook her head to rid her mind of the pictures, “Oh dear sister, what world have we awoken into?”
“Don’t tell me you actually believe this nonsense?!” Celestia gasped.
Luna lay on the floor. She started to cry, “We don’t know… We don’t know anything anymore…”
“Get a hold of yourself,” Celestia said, “We can’t show weakness to the girls. They were clearly rattled long before we arrived. First and foremost, we have a being of darkness greater than King Sombra on our hands, and we are without the Elements. There must be some truth to them in their string of lies. Let us gather the girls and discover what we are up against.”
~~***~~
Everyone gathered at Golden Oak Library: the three princesses, the former Element Bearers and Discord. Spike was ordered out on “errands.”
Twilight floated a folder in front of Celestia. “I was already compiling notes when you called the meeting. This is everything we know about Bulla,” she said proudly.
Celestia took it in her golden glow and set it aside, “I will read this soon. But for now, I believe this 'Prince Vegeta' is the more serious danger of the two.” She looked back at Twilight, “What do you have on him?”
Twilight hung her head, “I hadn’t started his yet. Bulla and Vegeta were separated for the past few days and only found each other right before the bath. I was in Bulla’s encounter group.”
“So who was with Vegeta?” she asked.
“Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie,” Twilight answered.
Celestia noticed how squeamish Fluttershy became, but to her surprise Rainbow Dash did as well. Pinkie Pie was oddly silent, but she had not lost her smile.
“Rainbow Dash, why don’t you go first,” Celestia prompted.
“Well…” Rainbow Dash rubbed her right leg with her left hoof, “At first, he wasn’t much to talk. But when he started passing out, Pinkie managed to keep him talking. At first, I thought his stories were cool… but then…”
“But what?” Luna asked beating Celestia to say it.
“He started to talk about death…” she said, “When he told us about the dragonballs and how he was a Z-fighter, the warriors that guard them. I said that was like us and the Elements of Harmony. He asked what they were, and he was really surprised to hear Fluttershy and Pinkie were ‘warriors,’ as he called us.”
“You told him about the Elements?!” Celestia gasped, “Rainbow Dash how could you!”
“It… It didn’t seem like a bad idea at the time…” Rainbow Dash shivered under Celestia’s glare.
“Continue,” Luna stepped in, “What happened next?”
“Well… while I was bragging…
“You have never taken a life, have you?”
“What do you mean?’ Fluttershy asked.
“To kill another life form, and not plants or animals for food, but an equal race in mind and spirit. You cleansed your Princess Luna of her demons, and this Discord has been turned to stone then back again so his is not a true death.”
Fluttershy gasped, “Have you killed somepony?”
Vegeta paused. “It sounds like you have yet to face someone who is willing to take the ultimate thing that can be stolen. But I believe the real question is what your response to such a battle will be.”
Pinkie Pie’s hair deflated, “Are you saying… that someday…”
Vegeta looked visibly worried watching the color disappear from Pinkie Pie. “On Earth, peace is not a lull between wars but a time to forge alliances to prevent the next one from occurring,” he said hurriedly, “Considering the innocence of your origin, I have no doubt of your future success.”
Pinkie Pie’s hair jumped back into place, “Oh! You mean like when Fluttershy stopped Discord by becoming friends with him!” She bounced in a circle around the group, “I’m really super-duper good at making friends! This will be a piece of cake!”
He took a deep breath and sighed relieved.
Fluttershy stopped in the middle of the road. “You did not answer my question!” she said forcefully.
Everyone stopped, surprised.
“Have you killed somepony?” she repeated.
“Will my answer dictate whether or not you continue to carry me or help me find my daughter? If so, why would I answer yes when it is so disadvantageous to my current situation?”
“Eep!” Pinkie Pie covered her mouth with her hooves, “You mean lying?! Lying is a very bad thing to do.”
“No…” Fluttershy said curtly, “It will not affect my helping you.” She began to walk again.
“Then yes, I have killed people.” Vegeta answered unexpectedly.
Fluttershy stopped again.
“Ok! Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts!” Pinkie said, “Oh! I know! What’s your favorite food?”
Vegeta chuckled, “My true race is also an omnivore that leans strongly to the carnivorous side of the spectrum. I doubt that will settle emotions.”
“Ok ummm… Are there any foods you like that don't have meat in it?” Pinkie asked.
“I prefer egg rolls with a little meat mixed with the stuffing, but I won’t turn down the pure vegetable variety. That’s actually how they are traditionally made.”
Pinkie Pie jumped in the air, “What kind of bird lays eggs with vegetables inside them?! And how do you catch the eggs when they are rolling? Is there a special way or do you just run next to them and snatch them up?”
“Why are you hitting my back with your head?” Fluttershy asked. “Stop it!”
“Because I don’t have a wall to hit it on…”
“Well…” Twilight stuttered, “At least he was honest… That’s a redeeming quality…”
“Fluttershy,” Celestia turned to her, “When we came, it seemed you had great concern for him. What changed in between that conversation and our arrival?”
“Well…” she began, “I wouldn’t say care, just pity. Back at my house, he had said he had died twice and been resurrected with magic to try and calm my nerves that he was hurt. When I asked him about it…”
“The dragonballs were used to resurrect me.”
“You mean the same gems you guard?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Yes.”
“So these things can bring back anypony that has died?” Pinkie bounced.
“The dragons are not omnipotent in their powers over life and death. Resurrection was the last thing on their creator’s mind when they were made. It is an accident that it can even be done at all.
"A person can only be brought back under very strict circumstances. And just when we think we have figured it out, the failure of a friend to return humbles us.
"Both times I died, I had no expectation of returning. It was a great shock.”
“What are the circumstances?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“The overarching theme is to be killed by someone in an act of malice,” he answers, “So old age, illness, etc. are not covered. In war, most deaths are acts of malice, so the majority can be resurrected, but not all.”
“What do you mean the majority?” Rainbow Dash said shocked, “The bad guys are the ones with malice, not the good guys.”
“Ok then. Let’s use a nonlethal example…” Vegeta said, annoyed, “Say someone threw a rock at butterfly butt here…”
“It’s Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash shouted.
“Even better,” he gave a creepy smile, “What emotion are you feeling right now?”
“Anger!” Rainbow Dash shouted.
“Exactly,” Vegeta said.
Rainbow Dash took to the air and stuck her head in between Fluttershy’s wings to confront the filly on her back. “Exactly what?!”
Pinkie Pie bounced next to them. “I think he means these dragonballs consider anger to be malice no matter why the pony feels that way, right Vegeta?”
Vegeta looked at Pinkie Pie wearily. “Hmmm… You’re smarter than you look…”
“Yeah, I get that a lot,” she answered.
“So how did you die?” Fluttershy asked.
Vegeta hesitated. “I died in battle… against two very bad individuals.”
“Are you not comfortable talking about it?” Fluttershy asked.
“No!” Pinkie Pie said, “He doesn’t want to talk about it because he doesn’t know enough about us to judge what to say to get us to trust him!”
Vegeta stood, “Ok! Now you're not only smarter than you look, you’ve got a big mouth!”
“Well ‘honesty is the best policy,’ mister,” Fluttershy said, looking back and giving him “the stare.”
Vegeta lay back down. “Great galaxies, she’s as bad as Bulma…” he thought.
“Fluttershy reminds you of your wife? Wow! She must be super nice!”
“Pinkie will you stop broadcasting everything I think!” Vegeta shouted.
“Wait a moment?!” Celestia turned to Pinkie Pie, “Pinkie, do you really know what people are thinking?”
“Oh? You must teach me how to do that,” Discord said excitedly, rubbing his hands maniacally.
“Not all the time,” Pinkie smiled, “It just happens. I always thought everyone was a really good ventriloquist and I sucked!”
“How… is that even possible?” Twilight asked.
“What? You mean like how I’ve been talking with Vegeta this whole time? …Wait? No. No. No, what?”
Luna jumped to her hooves and a blinding white flash emanated from her horn.
Everyone looked around but saw no changes to the room.
“Forgive me, Princess Luna but what was that about,” Rarity asked, rubbing her eyes.
“Look!” Fluttershy shouted pointing.
What almost looked like the shadow of a minotaur without horns was standing next to Pinkie Pie. It made a beeline for the open window. The window slammed shut.
“There is nowhere to run,” Luna said walking towards it, “You’re in my wo…”
The shadow opened the window and jumped out.
Luna’s eyes widened. “Get back here!” she ordered. She ran through the library's wall.
Rainbow Dash tried to follow, only to smash her head.
Celestia stood, “We are all sharing a dream! Follow!”
Celestia led them out the door. Instead of Ponyville, they discovered a large grass plain as far as the eyes could see with a black and purple sky. Then they spotted Luna chasing the shadow. In spite of her summoning black vines from the ground, pulling the grass backwards like a conveyor belt, and creating a powerful headwind, the biped evaded capture. Then it jumped in the air.
It did not descend.
“That’s impossible! Humans can’t fly!” Twilight shouted.
Discord started to laugh, “I’m starting to like this 'He-ewe-MANE.'”
“Humans don’t have magic either, silly,” Pinkie Pie said, “Besides, we’re dreaming. We can do whatever we want!”
“But Luna is the master of dreams,” Celestia said, “He’s not evading her. He’s overpowering her!”
Luna took to the sky.
“Sister!” Celestia screamed.
The shadow stopped mid flight. It turned around and waited for Luna.
“No!” Celestia tried to take to the sky, but the wind forced her back to her hooves.
“What is with this awful wind?!” Rarity said, “It’s destroying the curls in my mane!”
“It’s Princess Luna,” Twilight said, “Her anger is causing the storm!”
“Discord, do something!” Celestia ordered, “My magic is useless here!”
Everyone turned to Discord. He was sitting in a movie theater seat eating popcorn with a drink and wearing red and blue paper 3D glasses. “Wada wugawa?” he said, spitting some kernels from his mouth.
The two confronted each other in the sky. Luna’s rage twisted the sky into a violent storm. Its roaring gusts and cracking thunder added a frightening concussion to her Canterlot voice.
“Cease, Knave!” she shouted, “How dare thee show such disrespect unto us, The Princess of the Night?! The power of the moon and stars art ours to command…” Luna powered up her horn.
The shadow took a fighting stance. Its body was twisted sideways, its right arm held at eye level with its hand limp. Its left arm was across its chest with its left hand 12 inches underneath the right, palm up and fingers vertical.
“Is it going to cast a spell?!” Futtershy gasped.
“I don’t think so,” Twilight said, “That looks more like a defensive stance from a sport called ‘dodgeball.’”
“…And we art the sole sovereign ruler of dreams!” Luna finished and let loose the ball of light.
The shadow caught it with a distortion between its hands. Then it redirected it back at Luna. Light and flame enveloped her and she screamed in pain before plunging towards the ground.
“Sister!” Celesta screamed.
“Princess Luna!” screamed the others.
“Wha whow,” Discord spewed.
The shadow turned upside down, bent its legs and pushed off of some unseen wall.
Discord vanished, then reappeared where Luna would impact, “Whi wot wer.”
A twisting film phased in and out of existence in the air between Luna and the ground, then it turned solid, blocking everyone’s view.
“Luna!” Celestia looked up as the group arrived at Discord. The film evaporated into twinkling dust.
Luna and the shadow were gone.
“Luna!...”
“Luna!” Celestia shouted. She found herself awake with everyone else lying on the floor of the library. The others soon shook the fog from their heads.
“Luna! Luna!” she nuzzled her sister. Celestia stood when she did not awaken. She tried nuzzling her along her side where she was ticklish. Celestia turned ashen upon finding Luna’s skin swollen and tender to the touch.
“Luna!!! ”
~~***~~
Luna blinked awake.
And found herself in the softest bed with the smoothest sheets and warmest, snuggliest blanket she’s ever felt in her entire life. She stretched, then froze. She looked at her front legs, or what should be her front legs. She twitched her “extended paws” several times to see if they were actually hers.
Luna then pulled her front legs to her body and screamed. Then she looked under the blanket. Her udder was split in two and on the completely opposite side of the belly. But although extended, they were solid and not filled with milk.
“Good. It’s about time you woke up. There’s probably a sword about to chop my head off by now.”
Luna recognized the scruffy voice. She turned and saw a biped in the shape of a familiar silhouette. “You! What hath thou done to us?!”
“I saved your ass, for one,” Vegeta said, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He had chosen to present himself in civilian attire to avoid further escalation. “Pinkie Pie’s been screaming in my ear that you’re physically hurt and the last thing I need is royalty dying of stigmata, even if you tried to kill me first.”
Luna hid under the blanket, “We hath not tired to kill thee, but only to humble thy heart before us… And where art we?!”
“We’re in a bedroom at the Lookout. It’s a holy temple on Earth,” then Luna heard him talk to someone else in the room, “Go stand outside the door until I call you back in.”
“Yes, Vegeta.”
Luna peeked out from under the blanket and saw a green bipedal with insect antennas. She promptly screamed and ducked back under the covers. “What is that thing?!”
“His name is Dende. He is of the Namekian race and the best healer I know. When I realized you were suffering from stigmata, I brought you here.”
“How is he here? How can thee overpower our magic?” she demanded.
“Dende is not actually here. He’s a mental construct no more than this room is,” he tapped on the wall for emphasis, “And for what little this is, it’s called ‘lucid dreaming.’ It allows you to become conscious while dreaming and experience the dream on the inside while controlling events from without at the same time. But 90% of this is your doing.”
“What doest thou mean by that?!”
Vegeta raised his voice in frustration, “Look, I’m not the one that cast the spell that trapped us here!” He uncrossed his arms and pointed at the floor, “Everyone else has woken up a long time ago, but we are still here. As soon as you’re able, undo whatever the hell you did.”
“Our appearance is not our construct! What hath thou done to us?!”
“I don’t know a damn thing about your kind any more than you do me. I imagined you as a human so I could have Dende help you. Luckily, I guessed right that your injuries would transfer, but hopefully the healing also affected your real form.”
“This body looks nothing like thee!”
“You’re a female in case you haven’t noticed!” Vegeta recrossed his arms, “And don’t go bitching over your breast size, practicality before beauty.”
“Practicality!” Luna screamed, “What practicality is there in these monstrous udders!”
“You actually think those are large?” Vegeta said dumbstruck, “Look you, Earth women commit suicide because they are ashamed of having breasts three times that size! You’re so flat-chested, I might as well have made you male! You’re not even an ‘A’ cup.”
“We doest not believe thee! Change us back!”
“Do it yourself. You know your body better than I do.”
Luna dashed completely under the covers. After about a minute, the shape grew over five times its size. Then the blanket was tossed off as Luna spread her wings. She scooched over and stepped off the bed.
“Oh! Happy Hooves! Happy Hooves!” she said, prancing in place.
Then she heard a snicker behind her. Luna spun around, “YOU!!!”
Vegeta stood from leaning on the wall, uncrossed his arms, and shifted his feet for combat.
“Thou hath violated us!” Luna confronted him.
“Look you!” Vegeta pointed his finger under her chin, “First off, if I did that my wife would kill me! And second, neither of our species possess traits that the other find sexually attractive, unless you're some kind of freak.”
Luna blushed. “Not that kind of violation! Thou hath done much deeper!”
“Excuse me!” Vegeta got in her face, “Does my body look like this at the moment?!”
“That was not our doing!” Luna glared at him, “T’was this dragon of thine and thy failure of watching over thy daughter!”
“And what was her inspiration? YOU! You and your fucking cartoon!”
Luna took a deep breath. “Even if our origin is as thou claim,” she steadied her breathing, “We would not be having this conversation if thou had fulfilled thy duties as father.”
“OH! WILL YOU WAKE US BOTH UP ALREADY!” Vegeta shouted.
Luna turned her nose up. “Changing the subject to avoid admitting defeat is not an honorable quality for royalty,” she said.
“You’ve never had a boyfriend have you?”
Luna took a step back, “What hath that to do with anything?”
“It may be dishonorable for royalty, but it’s a normal reaction for a man. When was the last time you got mounted?”
Luna turned bright pink. Then she lowered her horn, snorted and charged.
She ran several yards before she realized she ran farther than she should have. Luna looked around and saw Vegeta had punched holes through several walls. She turned around and saw Vegeta back in the original room.
She would not admit to being impressed by his materialization ability of the size and detail of this building. Luna checked that away in storage for when she did not want to kill him.
“Why did thou do that?” she demanded trotting back, “We need no protection.”
“I may not know a lot about My Little Pony, but I know enough of the back mythology to know the two ways to kill a unicorn is to lull it to sleep with a virgin’s song then slit its throat or provoke it to anger so it charges you and imbeds its horn in a tree to the same effect. I’m not being charged with attempted murder now that stigmata has been established.”
“Thou keep using that word. What doest it mean?” Luna asked, stopping in front of him.
“Stigmata is a physical injury caused not by physical damage but a wound to the mind. Some people on Earth can self-induce the effect in religious ritual, but outside of Earth it is a weapon. My second death was a suicide to spite the mage trying to turn me into a puppet. Whatever benevolence your creator thought of you, now that you’re real so are your powers and what they can do.”
Luna took a step back, “We doest not believe thee!”
“Then wake us up and see for yourself.”
Luna caused a flash of light from her horn.
~~***~~
Luna opened her eyes. Then she heard “Beep... Beep... Beep...” She lifted her head and saw she was in a hospital room with bandages around her midsection.
“Oh thank goodness, you’re awake. It must have worked.”
Luna looked and saw Rarity. “How long have we been out?”
“Over two hours now,” Rarity said, “Nearly two and a half!”
Luna looked around the room and saw they were the only two there. “Where art the others?”
“Princess Celestia had Pinkie and Fluttershy dragged off a long time ago, but Twilight just gagged and floated poor Bulla away. She came charging in here screaming for you to wake up and tell everyone Vegeta didn’t hurt you.”
“Hurt me?” Luna’s ears drooped remembering their conversation, “Why art we bandaged?”
“You were burned,” Rarity said, becoming emotional, “That fiend not only overpowered you but found a way to injure you in real life!” Her volume increased with the last few words.
“Where is he?” Luna asked
“Dead, if you’re awake,” Rarity said, “Princess Celestia ordered him killed to break the spell he had over you. That’s why Bulla ran in here.”
“What?!” Luna jumped up on the bed, “Vegeta had no spell over us! We were together!”
“Oh, dear…” Rarity shrunk back.
Luna jumped off the bed and put her face in Rarity’s, “Take us to his room, NOW!”
~~***~~
Vegeta opened his eyes. He could tell Rainbow Dash was above him by the blurry blue and rainbow smear, but as his vision cleared, all he saw was the sword and the face of an innocent bracing their heart for their first kill.
Vegeta flailed out of the bed, “Wai…” Before he could finish, he got a hoof in the head. Vegeta flew across the room and hit the bed causing him to pinwheel into the wall. His body dangled from his embedded horn with his tongue hanging out. Then the lath and plaster gave way and his teeth bit deeply into his tongue.
Blood poured over the floor as an orange pony stood on his wings. “Nice one Big Mac, bucked his apples into next week, I reckon.
“E-yep,” he said, turning to his sister.
“Good work Applejack, Macintosh,” Celestia said. She turned to Rainbow Dash, “Are you sure you want to be the one to do this? This is what the guards are trained for. You’re just an athlete.”
“Y…es…” she said, “I can… do this.”
Rainbow Dash shook worse than a set of maracas as she lifted the sword one last time.
A purple glow enveloped the sword and ripped it from Rainbow Dash’s grasp. “STOP!!!” came a familiar Canterlot voice.
Celestia spun around, “Sister!” She rushed to nuzzle only to get the sword stuck in her face.
“Don’t ‘Sister’ unto us Celestia! Thou conspire to kill an innocent!”
“Innocent?” Rainbow Dash collapsed onto the floor. Big Macintosh opened his mouth and dropped his chewing straw. Applejack stepped into view of the doorway and took off her hat.
Luna gasped seeing the blood on her hooves. She entered the room and quickly exited. “Surgery! Surgery!” she bellowed as she ran.
~~***~~
Celestia and Luna were arguing outside the operating room as Vegeta had his tongue put back on.
“Luna! Can’t you see this ‘stigmata’ is just a lie to bring guilt onto yourself,” Celestia screamed angrily.
“And by whose magic were we injured, Celestia?! By whose?”
“BY HIS!” Now Celestia was also screaming in the Canterlot voice, “He did something to your magic then threw it back at you!”
“Our injury was an accident! A power we did not know we had!”
“My injury, Luna!” Celestia lectured, “My and I, not we and our!”
“Then how am ‘Eyeee, ’” she stressed, “well?!”
“Your anger is masking the pain! Get back into bed!” Celestia ordered.
“I think I’m going to go deaf at this rate,” Applejack said, lying down and putting her hooves in her ears.
“E-yep,” Big Mac echoed doing the same.
“Then let us prove to each other the truth of my dream!” Purple magic started to envelope her bandages. Then, so did gold.
“Celestia, release me!” Luna ordered.
“Never!”
“Ummm… Princesses?” came a nervous male voice.
“What?!” they glared at poor Dr. Stable.
“Forgive me…” he bowed trembling, “But it is actually time to check the bandages…”
Back in Luna’s room, everyone watched intently as Dr. Stable unwrapped Luna with his brown magic.
Everyone gasped.
“Great Gallops,” Dr. Stable said walking around her, “This shouldn’t be possible in just an hour. A day, at least. What magic did you use on yourself?” He touched Luna and she instantly sidestepped.
“Are you still tender, Princess Luna?” he asked.
“Please be more careful,” she chuckled, “I’m…”
CRASH!
Celestia was flat on the floor.
“Sister!”, “Celestia!”, “Princess!”
“Oh dear,” Dr. Stable ran over. “Princess?” he poked her.
Luna lowered her head and walked over with a slight glow to her horn. Then the glow vanished as she raised her head. “Oh my. She’s fainted.”
~~***~~
Two hours passed. Vegeta woke from anesthesia twenty minutes ago, and Celestia had eaten all the pastry cakes in a twenty mile radius in about half that time.
Celestia lay on the floor of Luna’s former room now plastered with icing and crumbs. “Cake! I demand more cake!” she shouted.
“We’re hurrying Princess Celestia,” Pinkie Pie begged, “But you already ate through my emergency emergency emergency…” twenty more, “…emergency emergency,” Pinkie Pie pants a few seconds, “emergency supply of cupcakes. We need to bake more!”
“And I thought you had bad mental breakdowns,” Spike said, looking up at Twilight.
“Yeah…” she said shoving a book back in her sack, “I think I’ll hold onto Starswirl the Bearded’s thesis on ‘Night Wounds in Unicorn Foals’ a little while longer.” She looked down at Spike, “Let’s go check on the others.”
Two hallways down, Applejack, Big Mac, and Rainbow Dash were dealing with a crisis counselor. “You said you were thinking ‘I’ve done it before. I can do it again,’ to talk yourself into using the sword. Why was that? What did you do before?”
“It was after Vegeta said I was an ‘untested warrior’ because I had never faced someone ‘willing to take the ultimate thing that can be stolen’. I was going to talk about the fight in the Crystal Empire against King Sombra. Then I remembered the story on how he was stripped of his body and turned into shadow. But King Sombra’s magic was shadow, so he was the same thing as his magic. So when the crystal heart destroyed his magic… that meant…” Rainbow Dash started to cry, “I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY BEFORE!” Then she collapsed and weeped.
Spike started to sniffle.
“Ok. Let’s go check on Vegeta,” Twilight quickly shoved him down the hall.
They traveled to his post-op room and found Dr. Stable looking in Vegeta’s mouth with a satisfied Luna behind him. The curtains were pulled back allowing the large row of windows to fill the room with light. Vegeta was lying on his side with his back to the door covered with his blanket up to his shoulders.
“You can close your mouth now,” Dr. Stable said as they walked into the room.
“Hello Twilight,” Luna said. Then she put her hoof to her mouth and shushed before bobbing her head to the bed.
Spike ran around the bed to see.
“Oh. Bulla’s sleeping,” he said, pointing up. Luna quickly lowered her head and shushed in his ear. “Oh… sorry,” he said, putting his hands over his mouth.
“Since whatever accidental healing magic you’ve discovered works so spectacularly,” the doctor said, “I don’t see why you didn’t heal your full body like you did Princess Luna.”
“Because Princess Luna only had bruises and burns. I have internal injuries and considering the only thing my original body and this one have in common are my jaw and tongue, I’d much rather you fix it correctly than me live with any mistakes for however long I’m here.”
Dr. Stable nodded, “Very well. But you will be in here at least a week, but no more than two.”
Vegeta laid his head back down. He glanced down at Bulla, passed out from crying, then grabbed the blanket with his teeth and pulled it over her head. He put his head back down, “I’m sure I can live on hay-flavored jello for a week…”
“Actually, once thou are cleared to eat solid food tomorrow, I have a surprise for thee,” Luna smiles.
“If it's meat, I like it medium rare, but if Bulla’s going to be here cook it till it’s almost burnt. She’s seen enough blood for a lifetime.”
Luna twitched, “Yes… W-I will keep that in mind.”
Twilight stepped into the room, “Prince Vegeta?”
“Which one are you?” Vegeta said, lifting his head.
“I’m Twil… I mean Princess Twilight Sparkle,” she walked around the bed.
Vegeta noticed her ears were pinned back. He quickly nuzzled Bulla to make sure she was asleep, then lifted his head from under the blanket. “If you’re here to apologize, don’t. Most monarchs would have made the same choice far quicker than all of you did. Fifteen minutes at most, if not an instantaneous reaction.”
“Insta… sta.. antaneous?” Spike stuttered, “Ponies make decisions-s-s like that s-s-so quickly?”
Vegeta nodded.
“Remind me never t-t-to visit wherever you’re from, mister.”
Twilight perked up her ears. “You’ve been pretty quick to forgive,” she said hopefully.
Vegeta narrowed his eyes, “I didn’t say I’ve forgiven you, have I?”
“But…”
“Look, your purpleness. All I said was that it was a normal decision, not that I’d forgiven you for making it.”
Twilight hung her head briefly before raising it again. She took a deep breath. “Is there anything I can do to make your stay better? As the Royal Scholar of Friendship, it is my duty…”
“The Scholar of Friendship? You’re kidding me.” Vegeta said dryly.
“No, Prince Vegeta. Why would I be making a joke? Friendship is a very important responsibility…” Twilight tried to explain.
Vegeta groaned, annoyed and laid his head back on the pillow.
“Ummm… Would you prefer to talk later?” Twilight asked, confused, “You must still be tired.”
“Alone would be good,” Vegeta said. Then his ears cocked back. Luna, Twilight and Spike looked towards the door.
The crisis counselor was at the door, “May I come in?”
“Oh, of course,” Vegeta said sarcastically, “Everyone just come right on into my— PRIVATE RECOVERY ROOM!”
“Yes Dr. Shrinkie Dink,” Dr. Stable said, “You may come in.”
“Shrinkie Dink?” Vegeta said in disbelief.
“Yes, that is my name. Is there an issue?” he asked surprised.
“I’m not from this country,” Vegeta said, “You don’t want to know what the sounds in your name mean back home.”
“Yes. I’ve heard all about you and your daughter…” he said unamusedly walking into view.
Vegeta saw a pale blue pegasus with graying brown hair and a screwdriver tattoo. Vegeta eyed him. “Hmm…” he thought, “No magic; he’s wearing a suit and not a white coat, and yet he’s a doctor. I smell a psychiatrist .”
“…In all the debriefings I have ever done, I have never heard of anypony being convinced of such an absurdity…”
“Yep… he’s a psychiatrist…” Vegeta thought. He sighed annoyed.
“You seem frustrated,” Dr. Shrinkie Dink asked, “You wish to tell me about it?”
“Nope.”
“Well, I will be talking to you,” he said. Dr. Shrinkie Dink turned to the others, “Dr. Stable, your Highnesses, may I humbly ask you to leave?”
Twilight went to leave, but Luna put her wing on her, “Actually doctor, I believe it would be best if Princess Twilight Sparkle and myself remain. But you may leave Dr. Stable, Spike.”
“Yes, your Majesty,” Dr. Stable bowed. He walked out.
“But?” Spike protested.
“Spike, do what Princess Luna says,” Twilight scolded gently.
“Fine…” Spike followed him to the door. “I’ll be in the hallway if you need me,” he waved before disappearing behind the door frame.
“All right then Mr. Psychiatrist,” Vegeta said sarcastically, “Which part of the dark abyss will you be probing first?”
“What makes you think I’m a psychiatrist?” he asked un-amused.
“You are a doctor, and yet so far all the medical staff have been unicorns, you’re not dressed in white, and you used the word debriefing, which where I come from is a military term for interviewing soldiers after a mission. So that means you’re a talking doctor not a physical one.”
“Actually, I’m a psychologist not a psychiatrist,” Dr. Shinkie Dink says.
“Psychiatrist, psychologist, psychopath, same difference Mr. Shrinking Dick.”
Twilight Sparkle’s eyes widened and jaw dropped slightly. Luna’s eyes also widened, but she also giggled.
Dr. Shrinkie Dink remained unmoved.
“Heard that one before, huh?” Vegeta narrowed his eyes, “I’m not going to get a rise out of you, am I?”
“No, you will not,” he answered.
Vegeta laid his head back down on the pillow, “You’re no fun…”
“You find belittling ponies fun?” he asked.
“Oh not just ponies, I’m an equal opportunity belittler.”
Twilight facehooved, “It’s official. You’re definitely from Earth.”
Dr. Shrinkie Dink turned around, “You care to explain that comment?”
Twilight hesitated. She shifted her weight awkwardly. “On Earth, there are a lot of tribal tensions, like how our ancestors were before the founding of Equestria. Shopkeepers are required to be ‘equal opportunity employers’ by law, meaning they must hire ponies from any tribe. Many advertise their shops as such to pull in customers from disadvantaged tribes.”
Vegeta raised his head. “Wait, are you saying there’s racial bigotry in a show meant for kindergartners?” he says shocked.
Dr. Shrinkie Dink glanced back at Vegeta before turning back to the princesses, “I assume that comment refers to the construction that our world has been created from a children’s story within the past few days?”
“More than likely,” Luna said.
He turned back to Vegeta, “I have no idea what type of mental illness is capable of making such an explanation of the world not only plausible, but also allows cognition levels to permit rational transmission of such ideas capable of convincing others. But I intend to find out.”
Vegeta glared at him. Dr. Shinkie Dink could tell he was measuring what to say next.
“But Dr. Shrinkie Dink,” Twilight said, moving between him and Vegeta, “Earth is a real location. I went there once on an important friendship mission by…”
“Twilight, that’s enough,” Luna ordered.
Vegeta watched Twilight look almost like a scolded puppy as she shuffled back next to Luna. “She must be of lower rank even though they are both called ‘princess’,” he thought, “This society may be more difficult to negotiate than I thought.”
“Dr. Dink,” Luna said authoritatively, “I believe it would behoove you to keep to your own patients and leave Vegeta to us.”
“But Dr. Dink is the one helping Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Big Mac,” Twilight blurted out.
“Why is Rainbow Dash seeing a shrink?” Vegeta asked, surprised.
Twilight started to tremble, “They ummm… I…”
Then he remembered.
Vegeta looked at Dr. Shrinkie Dink, “If they want to see me, let them in.”
“I will not expose my patients to an unknown…”
“How many people have you killed?” Vegeta asked him.
“People?” he looked at the princesses, “What is a people?”
“‘People’ is just the word for themselves,” Twilight said, “He’s asking how many ponies you’ve killed.”
He looked back at Vegeta. “What does that have to do with anything?” he asked in a slightly higher pitched voice.
Vegeta could tell he was nervous, “My ‘tribe’ as your princess put it, is a tribe of war. I think I understand what Dash is going through since I’m the one who put it in her head. She told you that much I assume?”
“Yes. She did,” he said.
“On Earth there is a phrase ‘You break it. You bought it.’” he narrowed his eyes, “Let me talk to Dash.”
“Dr. Dink,” Luna ordered, “If Dash is ready, bring her in.”
Dr. Dink nodded and backed out the door.
“Princess Luna, can you take Bulla off the bed?” Vegeta asked, “Most girls I’ve met are huggers…” he shivered in disgust.
“You don’t like hugs?” Twilight asked, surprised.
“Only my wife's and only the horizontal kind.”
“Horizontal kind?” Luna asked, confused.
Twilight turned deep red.
Vegeta pointed at Twilight with his right hoof, “Explain it to her after you take Bulla out.”
A purple glow came from her horn and gently picked Bulla up. “Ok, let’s go,” Twilight said, galloping from the room with Bulla in front of her.
Luna did not move.
“If you’re going to eavesdrop, do it at the door!” Vegeta barked.
Luna glared at him. “Hmph,” she huffed, trotting out with her head raised.
Vegeta rolled his eyes. Then he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He laid his head on the pillow.
The minutes ticked by. Vegeta checked the clock for the millionth time and saw it has been almost thirty minutes.
“She must be really messed up…” he thought.
He laid his head back down, then used his right hoof to move the pillow across his face and pressed it over and over again as hard as his bruises would let him.
“I hate first contacts,” he mumbled, “Hate them! Hate them! Hate them! I hate being nice!” Then he screamed into the pillow.
“Prnc…Vgta?”
Vegeta looked behind him and saw Rainbow Dash.
“And this will be worse than I thought,” he thought, seeing her.
Rainbow Dash wobbled in. She looked spent. Vegeta watched her walk around the bed and stop in front of him. She began to open her mouth.
“No being as full of pride as you should ever have to utter an apology,” he interrupted.
Rainbow Dash looked surprised.
“And don’t hang your head either,” Vegeta ordered, “It is not in our nature.”
He noticed she could not look him in the face. Vegeta nodded towards a chair. “Why don’t you push that bench over next to the bed? We can see a good distance out the windows. You tell me what we’re seeing.”
Rainbow Dash nodded and pushed the chair next to the bed. She looked out the window and took a deep breath to start talking. But she did not speak. Vegeta pretended he did not see her holding her breath.
“The words will come when they are good and ready. Do not force them before their time. Sit here as long as you like.”
Rainbow Dash let the air out of her lungs.
In the hall, Luna, Twilight, and Dr. Shinkie Dink were lying on the floor spying at the doorway.
“What is he thinking?” Dr. Dink grumbled, “It’s been twenty minutes of total silence…”
Luna put her hoof to her mouth.
Then they heard snoring.
Everyone looked to the bed. Vegeta had fallen asleep.
“Oh that’s…” Dr. Dink shifted to stand. Then a purple haze engulfed his head and he collapsed like a ragdoll.
Twilight looked at Luna and saw her horn glowing. “Why?” she mouthed.
“He’s not really asleep,” she mouthed back, nodding towards the room.
Twilight turned back to the room. “I get it,” she thought.
“I’m so sorry Vegeta…” Rainbow Dash finally spoke, “When Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy tried to stop Princess Celestia… I got scared… When you called me a… I tried to think of a way to impress you… then I realized… I had killed somepony before… and when Applejack agreed to hold you down… I tried to feel anger like you said… But all I felt was fear…”
“Didn’t I tell you not to apologize?”
Rainbow Dash almost jumped through the ceiling.
Vegeta gave his crooked grin as he lifted his head.
“You tricked me!” Rainbow Dash waved her hoof at him, “That wasn’t nice!”
“Yes, I did. I used every trick in the book to get you to talk,” Vegeta scolded. “Making the apology understood so your pride wouldn’t get in the way. Changing the subject. Making it so you didn’t need to look me in the face. The last thing to try was to make you think you were alone talking to the wind.”
Vegeta took a more parental tone, “Now do you feel better?”
Rainbow Dash hung her head, “A little bit. But it still really hurts.”
“Is it purely because of me? Or is it mixed with this other death you mentioned?” he asked even though he already knew the answer.
He waited several moments. “Come on. Get back on the bench and tell me what happened.”
To his surprise, she did not get up but began talking animatedly with her hooves. “Well, it was one of my all-time great adventures,” Rainbow Dash said with some enthusiasm in her voice. “A long time ago, the evil King Sombra conquered the Crystal Empire and brought darkness and despair to the land. Then Princess Celestia and Luna destroyed King Sombra’s body, turning him to pure shadow and tried to seal him away forever. But King Sombra cast a spell before he was sealed, taking the entire empire and its ponies with him.
Then, about a year ago, the empire mysteriously returned, meaning King Sombra had returned for revenge, ” she quivered her voice at the end like she was telling a spooky ghost story and moved her hooves up and down in front of Vegeta’s face.
Vegeta chuckled and repositioned himself to be more comfortable.
“So Princess Celestia sent us and Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor to the Crystal Empire to stop King Sombra and free the empire from his dark grasp. But we couldn’t defeat him, so we had to find The Crystal Heart, the weapon the empire had used to stop him centuries ago before he stole and hid it.
"Twilight and Spike managed to find it but Twilight triggered a booby trap and got caught, so she ordered Spike to get the Heart to us, which he did and King Sombra’s magic got obliterated,” Rainbow Dash said waving her forelimbs like an umpire’s safe sign.
“Sounds like you’re proud of this deed,” Vegeta asked, “Then what’s the issue?”
“Well when I thought of that to tell you to fight back when you said I’ve never gone head to hoof with somepony willing to kill, I realized that if King Sombra was turned into shadow, and his magic was the ability to control shadow, then King Sombra WAS his magic.” She raised her hooves in the air, “I went an ENTIRE YEAR before I realized I helped kill somepony!” Then she lay on the floor, “I knew I was thick-headed… But an entire year! I’m a moron…”
Vegeta straightened up, “Dash, you are not a moron. You just have never been free to put those thoughts together before now.”
“Never been free? …” Rainbow Dash sat up, “Wait, you’re not talking about that crazy thing your daughter said about everything being a children’s story come to life?”
“I am,” he nodded, “And why does that sound crazy to you?”
“Well duh… 'Cause it is.”
“Dash, I want you to give me logical arguments against that hypothesis. I have a point to make.”
“Well just look at everything,” she said raising her hooves, “This world is too big to be a kids’ book. There’s gazillions of everything!” Dash put her hooves down, “Ponies, animals, plants, towns, cities. Even an entire library of little foal books could never have enough stuff in it to back all this.”
“Exactly,” Vegeta nodded, “Anything else?”
“What you mean?” Dash asked.
“What about history?”
“History? Nah, I slept through that class,” Rainbow Dash waved her hoof.
“Not that type of history,” Vegeta said, “That's the kind in the books. But there are trillions of life forms here, each with their own memories.”
“Well duh. That’s a part of being alive.”
“What about non-living history?” Vegeta asked, “Stories of ancestors not meant to be written about. All families have a story or two.”
“Yeah!” her face lit up, “I can think of some pretty crappy sports teams too.”
Out in the hallway, Twilight poked Luna.
“What is the point of this?” she mouthed.
Luna shrugged. “We don’t know,” she mouthed back.
“Dash,” Vegeta took a more serious tone, “The reason I’m pointing these things out is because they are the logic points that blind this world to the truth. If this world was created directly from a children’s story, these would be the holes in reality that would prove our recount correct. BUT, that these holes are filled does not prove us wrong. The unknown variable on your end is the power of the dragonballs. They are fully capable of all of this. You simply cannot imagine their power.”
Rainbow Dash scratched her head.
“I’m talking over your head, aren’t I?”
Dash put her hoof down, “No. No. I got it.”
“I don’t think you do,” he said, “You and Pinkie are the only ones not showing any mental duress.”
“What does a dress have to do with this?”
Vegeta rolled his eyes, “Duress. It means you’re not freaking out like everyone else.”
“I think that has more to do with Princess Luna getting hurt than anything,” she said.
“Before I took the bath!” Vegeta snapped.
“You were hurt that time,” Dash raised her voice, “And besides, we only just heard that from Twilight. You never said anything about it.”
Vegeta carefully shifted his weight forward, “Of course I never mentioned it! I’ve been dealing with fully sentient, rational beings. If Pinkie Pie hadn’t said what she said, I wouldn’t have even mentioned the shape shifting, only the teleportation.”
Rainbow Dash thought for a few moments, “True… If you had said that, I would have gotten in your face for being a Changeling.”
“I’ll just file that away for later,” he thought.
“Dash look,” Vegeta continued, “The reason people are freaking out is that if the logic holds that everything is only a few days old, then everything you know is a lie. The parents that never bore you. The siblings you never had. The friends you haven’t known since you were small. The school you never went to. In your case probably the sports teams you’ve never played for. The books you’ve never read. The…”
“The books I’ve never read?!”
Vegeta was surprised that this is what got to her.
“You mean I’ve never read Daring Do?” she gasped and hugged herself, “I’ve never MET Daring Do?!”
Vegeta could not tell whether she was about to cry, scream at him, faint, or some combination of the three.
“Before you bite my head off, I have a story I want you to chew over. It is of a real-life person you will be meeting hopefully soon. His name is Kakarot.”
Rainbow Dash glared at him skeptically.
“My people, the Saiyans, and the people of Earth, Humans, had been at war for a long time. Our very first casualty was a soldier named Kakarot. Two decades passed between wars. Then it started up again. And to everyone’s surprise we found Kakarot alive, as an opponent on the battlefield.”
“What?!” Dash said.
Luna and Twilight’s jaws dropped.
“Kakarot’s fatal blow was a headshot. But what we didn’t know was he survived. He had amnesia, and Earth’s military leaders exploited this. They gave him a fake name and lineage, Goku of the prominent Son military family, and pushed him into battle. He became a hero in several other wars Earth became entangled in over those years and became an officer because of his natural fighting ability and leadership skills, almost as if he had been a soldier his entire life.”
“But that was because he had been, right?” she asked.
Vegeta nodded, “Kakarot came face to face with everything that he thought he was, was a lie. Just like this entire planet must now face. Do you know what his decision was once he came to terms with this?”
“He turned on the people who lied to him and kicked their butts?” Dash asked, play boxing with her hooves.
“No,” Vegeta said coldly, “He decided to remain Goku Son. And all his previous exploits were only a prequel to the great heroics he achieved in the name of Earth to come.”
“What?!” Dash shouted.
In the hallway, Twilight went to shout “What?!” as well but Luna gagged her with her magic.
Rainbow Dash jumped to her hooves, “Why would he do that?! After everything! That doesn’t make sense!”
“Kakarot thinks with his heart instead of his head. Twenty years is a very long time. He had made friends that were not part of the conspiracy. He had warriors under him that relied on his leadership that were not part of it. He had a wife that was not part of it. He had a small son…” Vegeta stopped and raised his hoof to Dash.
“So he chose the honest friends he had and not the people who lied to him?”
Vegeta nodded. “And Kakarot began making many military decisions that tested the loyalty of his friends and the trust of his superiors.”
“What you mean?” Dash asked.
“Kakarot led a crushing defeat on his own kind, and I was captured. Sentenced to death.”
“But you’re still here? Is this when you were resurrected the first time?” Dash interrupted.
“No,” he said, “That’s another betrayal. Kakarot had been injured and could not act on his own. So, he asked his men to aid my escape.”
“Really?!”
“Dash… Will you let me finish already?!”
Rainbow Dash drew her hoof across her mouth like a zipper then sat down looking at Vegeta like an eager dog awaiting its treat.
Vegeta rolled his eyes. “Anyway… His men were startled by him asking this. And all Kakarot could give as justification was to ask to trust him. Which they did, and I escaped.
"A few months later came the Battle of Namek. It was a three-way battle at first over the dragonballs, Earth and her Namekian allies in defense, and myself and my enemy, Frieza and his men, trying to get our hands on them to use in our war between us. Frieza and his army were powerful, and it was a foregone conclusion we were all dead. I went to the Humans and asked for an alliance, saying it was the only way we would survive Frieza’s wrath. Again, Kakarot and his men betrayed their rulers and joined me against Frieza. Worse still, when Frieza killed me, Kakarot lied to them to get me resurrected my first time.”
Dash’s jaw dropped. Then she forced her mouth shut, clicking her teeth.
“Dash, the Z-Fighters are an interplanetary and interracial alliance whose core is the alliance between Humans, Namekians, and Saiyans that began as the temporary alliance from the Battle of Namek. It was only possible because we chose our friendships over any loyalties to our own governments, or in my case my own people. I gave up my throne for my human friends because my people refused to accept peace with them.
“You don’t have decades of new memories to justify your actions, but your emotions are as real as you are. They are what make you Rainbow Dash, not your creator and not my daughter’s wish to the dragon. Do not betray your heart.”
“So, what you’re saying is that IF what you’re saying is true and I was made from a book.. what makes me, me, is my friendships and not my memories?”
Vegeta nodded, “Exactly.”
“Well, if that’s the case… I know exactly what I’m going to do!” She stood up. “I’m going to get my Daring Do books!” Rainbow Dash rushed to the windows.
“Dash, wait!” Vegeta scolded.
“What?” she asked after opening the window.
“The point was for you to choose your own past, not for you to relive your history and make it real for the first time.”
“Oh I’m not getting my books for me to read. I’m getting them for you! If three days in here drove me crazy, what about you?” Rainbow Dash jumped out the window and hovered, “I’ll be right back!” she disappeared.
In the hallway, Twilight motioned for Luna to ungag her, which she did.
Twilight stood and walked into the room. “That was a powerful friendship lesson,” Twilight said, impressed, “I hope it will calm Princess Celestia’s nerves.”
“Princess Twilight,” Vegeta turned his neck to see, “May I ask a question?”
“You may,” Luna answered, stepping alongside Twilight.
“So far, I have only met three princesses. At what point will I be schooled in your kingdom’s ethics and presented to your king or queen?”
Luna walked around the bed to face him, “Although we are known as ‘princesses’ my sister Celestia and I rule Equestria jointly. All other prince and princesses are beneath us.”
“Sounds like a confusing system,” he said, “How do you even keep everyone straight?”
“By kind,” Luna said, “Alicorns like myself, Celestia, and Twilight here stand above all others. All other princes and princesses are raised to their title by us or descended from such.”
“I am an Alicorn as well, I assume?”
“Yes, this dragon chose your form correctly for your rank. But one thing confuses me. You said you lost your throne in a revolt; why are you still considered a prince if you have no kingdom or subjects?”
“In my world, 'prince' and 'princess' are titles of birth; it is the king and queen that hold the final reins of power. I will always be a prince as I was the son of a king and queen, but I have never been a king. You and your sister would be called queens in my world, and that difference will probably need to be continually explained to our delegates in future contacts..” he rolled his eyes at the last sentence.
“There are kings and queens in the other counties in our world, but our sister and we choose to remain princesses. Alicorns are the most powerful of the races, the physical strength of an earth pony, the ability to fly and the speed of a pegasus, and the magic of a unicorn, all magnified many times against itself. Our sister and we earned our rank above the others through wisdom and courage in war, but we do not call ourselves queens. It would be wrong to do so.”
“In order to give the appearance of humility, I take it?”
“Exactly,” Luna nodded.
“How many Alicorns are there? Is their population centered at the capital and not this rural town?”
“Including you in your current state, there are only five of us, and you are the only male.”
“What happened to your race?! Were you eradicated because of your power?”
“There is no violence against us. Our sister and we were the first Alicorns ever born in the history of the world. Then much more recently, Princess Cadence, as a pegasus, was ascended by accident from contact with a magical artifact,” Luna looks at Twilight, “and then Twilight ascended through her own magical skill within the past few months. She was born a unicorn and her incredible power as a filly bought her to the attention of our sister who apprenticed her.”
“Then Alicorns are born by accident from the unicorn race or from the others by artificial means?”
“We have no idea,” Luna looked at Twilight, “But perhaps with Twilight’s ascension, we may discover the mystery of our birth.” She turned back to Vegeta, “And do not say your dragon or the book’s author. You said so yourself, the dragon filled in every hole to turn a children’s story into reality. So even if what you say is true, then there is still a logical explanation for our lonely births within the reality of Equestria.”
Vegeta nodded. “Among my people, there are those called ‘super saiyans’. Their power is legendary, rivaling the gods themselves. But one is born only every thousand years or so. The exception is the modern age. Myself and Kakarot are super saiyans, as are our male children.”
“Then a female cannot transform?” Twilight asked, walking around the bed.
“No. There have been an equal number of male and female super saiyans, but Bulla is the only daughter among our lineages and she has shown no interest in learning to advance her powers. This may not be a correct analogy, but in spite of your innate ability in magic, if you had shown no interest in becoming a skilled practitioner you would not have transformed, correct?”
Twilight nodded, “Yes. I understand.”
Luna glanced at the clock. “Oh no! It’s 8:30! Tia and we won’t make it back in time for Sunset and Moonrise!” She ran from the room screaming “Tia! Tia!”
“I assume there is some sort of ceremony to the changing of day and night?” Vegeta asked Twilight, turning back from watching Luna gallop out.
“Yes,” Twilight stood proudly, “Princess Celestia and Luna are the Princesses of the Sun and Moon. It is their responsibility.”
“Princess Twilight, why does Luna talk about herself in the third person? Does she have a split personality or something?”
Twilight cringed. “Oh! No! She’s… just old-fashioned in using the ‘royal we’. Princess Celestia stopped using it a long time ago and has been trying to get her to stop.”
“To continue the act of humility?”
“Oh, look at the time,” Twilight gave a large smile, “I should be helping Princess Celestia and Princess Luna get ready to leave for the capital.” She backed out of the room, then tripped over something at the doorway. She quickly got up and galloped off, “Princess Luna! Don’t go yet! You forgot to take the sleeping spell off Dr. Shrinking Dick- SHINKIE DINK!”
Vegeta quickly muffled his laughter in his pillow.
“I’m back!” Rainbow Dash flew up to the window. “Hey, what’s so funny? What I miss?”
~~***~~
Across the hospital, Bulla was awake in Discord’s lap. She opened her mouth and he fed her a spoon with cake on it with his magic while he held a row of cards in his hands. “Now you see, this was all one really bad misunderstanding caused by panic and fear.”
“Yeah, we’re all real sorry Bulla,” Applejack said. She was also holding cards.
“E-yep,” Big Mac said standing behind his sister.
“Oh Bulla,” Rarity said holding a set of cards, “I will make you and your family all the clothes you want, perfectly free of charge. I will use my finest fabrics and jewels. Anyone have any eights?”
“Go fish,” everyone said, except Celestia. She was still crying. She took one of the cards floating in her magic and passed it to Rarity. Then she took another bite from the nine-tiered cake next to her.
“If you keep taking bites out of the bottom, it is going to topple over on you,” Discord said. He turned to Bulla, “Does she look like a scary-wary pony that you’d hate forever and ever or does she look like a pony that’s sorry-worry more than anything in Equestria?”
Bulla just cuddled deeper into Discord and whimpered.
Discord disembodied the arm he’s using to hold the cards, grew a new one and used it to pet Bulla as she nuzzled into his fur.
“Awe…” Pinkie’s hair deflated, “Does that mean my “Super Duper I’m really really really really really really really really really really really really...”
While Pinkie continued to speak, Fluttershy stuck her head into Discord’s lap, “It’s alright. Take your time.”
“…really really really really,” Pinkie took a deep breath, “really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really sorry cake’ didn’t work?!” Then her hair popped back into place, “That means I can bake my ‘Super Duper Amazingly Wonderful I’m really really really really really really really really…”
“Tia! Tia!”
Celestia snapped out of her depressed sugar daze. “Una,” she said with her mouth full.
“Princess Luna! Don’t go yet! You forgot to take the sleeping spell of Dr. Shrinking Dick- SHINKIE DINK!”
Celestia's jaw hit the floor, along with the cake that used to be in her mouth.
“Did she just…” Applejack said.
“E-yep…” Big Mac answered.
“Oh ho,” Discord chuckled, “Little Twilight is growing up faster than I thought.”
“Oh dear. Oh dear,” Fluttershy glanced at Bulla.
“Tia!” Luna charged into the room, “It’s 8:30! We’re… Oh Falling Stars! Tia! You can’t present yourself to the nobles covered in cake!” Luna began to clean her sister off with her magic.
“Princess Luna!” Twilight ran up behind her, “Your sleeping spell!”
Luna facehooved. She turned around.
“Wait right there, Luna!” Celestia barked.
The two looked at her surprised as the once listless Diarch came to her hooves and stood straight.
“What depravity have you been teaching my student, Luna?”
“What are you…?”
“You heard that?!” Twilight gripped her neck.
“We all did, sugar cube,” Applejack said.
“E-yep,” Big Mac said.
Everyone else silently nodded.
Twilight screamed. Then she fell limp on the floor and covered her eyes with her hooves, “I’m never going to be able to live in Ponyville again…”
Celestia got into Luna’s face, “Luna! What do you have to say for yourself?”
Luna looked between the two of them, “What’s happened?”
“When I was chasing after you about Dr. Dink…” Twilight cries, “I called him…”
Luna smiled and started to giggle. She raises her voice in disbelief, “You called Dr. Shinkie Dink…”
She saw Fluttershy pointing frantically at Discord. She glanced at him.
He was holding an Acme-style, neon blinking sign saying “Child!!!” and an arrow pointing at Bulla in his lap.
“Ooooooh” she said sheepishly.
“Luna!” Celestia scolded.
Luna started to giggle again. “I didn’t say that,” she struggled to say, “Prince Vegeta called Dr. Dink that…”
Steam came from Celestia’s nostrils as her mane turned to flame.
“Tia! The Sprink… sprinklers…” Luna finished as the water rained down and the alarms started.
~~***~~
Out in the street, Celestia had to sheepishly explain to the fire department and the hospital staff why the sprinklers went off.
The melted mush of the cake was wheeled out next, with Pinkie Pie wailing “Why?!” as she is dragged along holding onto the dolly.
Celestia sighed, “I will pay for all the water damages…”
Then Vegeta was wheeled out. “Well, that was my second bath of the day…”
“I saved the book though,” Rainbow Dash said, flapping next to him.
“You!” Celestia snorted as she erupted in flames. Her mane climbed high into the sky and her tail looked like a flame thrower. She began to walk over with her head lowered.
“Ummm… See ya!” Rainbow Dash took for the clouds.
Vegeta watched everyone cower and back away.
“Hmm… She almost looks like a Super Saiyan,” he thought.
“How dare you!” Celestia growled, arriving in front of him, “How dare you use such language in front of my student!”
“What are you talking about, crazy lady?!” Vegeta barked from his wheelchair.
“YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!” she switched to her Canterlot voice, “DO NOT MAKE ME REPEAT THE FOUL WORDS YOU CALLED THE GOOD DOCTOR!”
Vegeta snickered, “Is that why you’re all fired up?”
Celesta could hear several giggles, at least until flames came from her eyeballs, then all but Luna stopped laughing.
“ARE YOU MOCKING ME?”
Vegeta turned his head, “Kinda hard to mock you when you need…” Suddenly he felt a tingle in his horn. Human-sized sunglasses mysteriously appear on his face. “Huh…” he said, looking cross-eyed at his nose.
Suddenly the glasses melted.
“Hey!” Vegeta shouted, “You better hope I made a copy and not accidentally teleported Roshi’s actual sunglasses!”
Celestia snorted.
Vegeta returned the glare. “If I could only transform…” he thought, “Wait, bad thoughts, she can still order my death again and I’m in no condition to defend myself. Save the pissing match for later. Calm down.”
Suddenly, he snickered.
“WHAT’S SO FUNNY?”
“He’s thinking about what would happen if you farted right now!” Pinkie shouted from somewhere in the crowd.
Vegeta did what he always did when faced with a homicidal female: he turned into a statue and prepared to die with honor.
~~***~~
An hour later, Vegeta found himself lying on some poor but otherwise soft blankets on the floor in a prison cell down in the castle dungeon. He was unrestrained minus a cone locked on his horn.
“Well, this day ended how I originally imagined it after all…” he thought, laying his head to look towards the stack of Daring Do novels, “Although the books are a surprise.” Vegeta sighed. “Note to self: punch that anger management counselor when I get home. Imagine something funny my ass…”
He thought out loud, “Ok Vegeta… You’re on an alien planet, totally helpless, and with a monarch who has shown willingness to kill you… so far nothing new…” he took a deep breath, “But what is new is that your daughter is here, you can do nothing to protect her, and you’re on a pristine planet screaming ‘Please conquer me’ with no idea of your location or motives of your neighbors.” He moaned, frustrated. “I can’t believe I’m actually thinking 'Kakarot to the rescue'…” he thought. Vegeta looked at the books.
“…But even without their powers… these warriors have shown courage. To kill a creature with even the slightest emotional attachment is no easy feat…”
Vegeta pawed at the padlock on the horn cone. Then he twitched his tail, now just normal hair. “This thing is supposed to stop magic, so my waving hair was the result of the magic this form has. Twilight has normal hair though. Her power must not have developed fully yet…” he reasoned.
Vegeta carefully shifted his weight to center himself. He hunched his shoulders forward as much as he could comfortably and stretched his neck towards the stack of books.
“… Luna said this body type is the three races magnified… and Pinkie has more than demonstrated energy-based abilities…”
He slowed his breathing and closed his eyes. He tilted his ears forward.
Vegeta was motionless for… even he did not know how long.
Flap… Flap. Flap… …Flap…
Vegeta slowly opened his eyes.
The cover of the top book and the first few pages rose then dropped. Flap… Flap. Flap.
Vegeta gave his crooked smile.
Chapter 7: Birds of a Feather
Chapter 7: Birds of a Feather
“Well… this was a memorable day…” Celestia said, trotting down the hall hanging her head, “Will you be able to handle night court? You have barely slept.”
“Sleep is not what we’re worried about, Tia,” Luna said, “We had a very public incident and we have yet to issue a statement. The rumor and gossip among the nobility is so much greater than it was, Sister.”
“A lot has changed as Equestria has grown in importance while you were gone,” Celestia raised her head, “But it has been over three years, and two since I started Night Court; you have never voiced anything like this before?”
“There hasn’t been a crisis like this before,” Luna said, “Discord, King Sombra, Queen Crystalis, all of them were quickly dealt with and exited our borders. But we have a truly unknown element directly below us, an Alicorn prince equal to us in power. He is injured. I was injured. That can’t be swept under the rug…”
Celestia whipped around. “Luna!”
“For even a second!” she finished her sentence.
“Why are you so suspicious?”
“How can you not be?!”
Celestia sighed and hung her head. Then she stood straight with a sparkle in her eyes.
Luna backed up, “Oh no… I know that face.”
Celestia giggled, then nodded down the hall, “To my suite.”
The guards bowed as the two sisters entered Celestia’s room fifteen minutes later.
Luna rolled her eyes, “So what is this new brilliant scheme you’ve cooked up this time?”
Celestia turned around to face Luna. “Watch this,” she said excitedly. She closed her eyes as a gold glow came from her horn. Then she was wrapped in golden sheets of magic. The mummy wrappings turned dark blue before disintegrating into sparkling glitter.
Luna’s eyes almost popped out of her head as she took several steps back. Before her was a perfect copy of herself.
“So? What do you think?” Celestia said excitedly with Luna’s voice.
Luna opened her mouth, but no sounds came out.
Celestia raised her head proudly, “I’ll take that as approval.” She pranced to the door, “Now you rest up. I’ll handle night court.” Celestia opened the door. “Sweet dreams, Sister!” she winked back into the room before shutting it behind her.
Luna sighed in surrender. Then glanced over at Celestia’s bed.
~~***~~
Even out in the hallway, the whispers and talking could be heard through the thick doors. Everything instantly went silent when the doors opened.
“Luna” walked confidently into the throne room and sat down. But as she scanned the room, her heart dropped.
“These faces….” she thought, “Is this only for tonight? Or… Oh, Luna. Why didn’t you say something sooner…” Celestia then spotted several horses, griffons, and camels in the rear of the throne room. “Those are staff from the embassies... but they are not high level officials. Scratch that… that’s the Griffon Ambassador’s son. Does Luna deal with the ambassadors as well? Dang it, Celestia. Why didn’t you take her seriously?” Then she spotted a young griffon raise his head above the others. “Isn’t that…?”
“Lower yourself, No Name,” the griffon in a state military uniform scolded his undressed counterpart.
“I’m sorry, Legatus. But I...”
“Silence. Do not bring any more shame to my people than you already have,” Legatus Ermendrud growled.
No Name hung his head.
Back at the throne, Celestia took a deep breath and sat straight. “Nobles, Delegates,” she said in a loud voice, but not the Canterlot voice, “Much has happened today. And I am sure many rumors preceded our return to Canterlot. But please rest your hearts; once all the information is gathered and analyzed an announcement will be held tomorrow.” She lifted her hoof, “So be well my little ponies. Everything is perfectly fine.”
“Luna” returned to her gentle, regal pose. But Celestia was quickly unnerved by the reaction of the room.
Surprise, worry, even anger.
She smiled nervously, “You all seem very worried tonight. Why don’t we begin tonight’s petitions?”
A noble mare approached, “Forgive me Princess Luna, I know you mean to comfort us as Princess Celestia does, but these past few nights have not been easy. You still have not explained what happened last night.”
“Last … n… yes-er-day?”
The lady nodded. Several others in the crowd nodded as well as the rest of the hall fell silent awaiting the answer.
“What about yesterday needs explanation?” Celestia said through her fake smile. “Lu~na. What haven’t you been telling me~” she singsonged in her head.
“I can think of several things that need explanation,” came a deep voice from the back of the room.
“Legatus Ermendrud,” Celestia scolded as he pushed his way to the fore.
No Name hung his head as he followed through the gap. “Excuse me… Pardon me…”
“You seem rather uppity tonight, Nightmare,” Ermendrud growled.
Celestia’s eye twitched.
The ponies in the room gasped and took a step back.
“Princess Luna always cowers when insulted like that…” “She seems mad. I’ve never seen Princess Luna mad before. I thought the Elements fixed that? *Gasp* could she be slipping all over again? …” Celestia heard among the murmurs.
“All of Equestria is a buzz,” Ermendrud puffed out his chest, “And I speak for all the embassies when I say that we do not like what we are hearing…”
The other delegates nodded.
“… There is injured royalty in a dungeon. Your sister burns down an entire town in anger. And there was a story that you were gravely injured, but I see that was a lie made up to justify this prince’s confinement.” He stomped his front talon, “This is not the hospitality expected of the pony nation!”
Celestia took a deep breath trying not to explode into flames.
The other griffon approached with his head down, “Forgive me mila…”
“Silence creatin.”
“Legatus!” Celestia stood, “I am well aware that griffons of your rank are used to giving orders and not receiving them. But an ambassador’s job is to advance his nation's interests while building trust and friendships. And one way of doing so is to respect the traditions of the court you address. All are allowed to address my sister and I no matter what their rank or status.” She took another deep breath.
Celestia turned and smiled, “Welcome back to Equestria, Dalibor. It is so good to see you again. You have Equestia’s full condolences on your… I mean, Praetor Leberecht’s passing.”
Ermendrud cleared his throat, “Princess Luna. I assume from that pause that you are aware of this—thing’s—name being stripped from it as part of the Damnatio memoriae.”
“Yes, I am aware he has been stripped of his family…”
“No,” Ermendrud interrupted, “It has been stripped of his full praenomen, nomen gentile, cognomen and agnomen.” He glared down at Dalibor, “Even stray dogs that feed of filth and each other have more worth than this creature.”
“If this ‘thing’,” Celestia struggled with the word, “Is so worthless, then why has… ‘it,’ been brought to the palace?”
“It is nothing but a writing pen, or whatever other use the Embassy can think of for it. I may use it as a xylospongium later.”
Celestia’s eye twitched again. “So then… my lovely quill,” she turned back to Dalibor, “What is it you wish to ask?”
“Forgive me,” he bowed, “But first you surprise me. Do you truly remember me?”
Celestia giggled, “Of course I do. How could I ever forget that little squeak you made when I sat down on my throne after we turned the entire palace upside down when your foalsitter lost you playing Hide and go Seek.”
Dalibor stood up straight with a griffon’s confidence returned to his face. “Then I will ask not a question but give a statement. I don’t believe you are Princess Luna. I think you are Princess Celestia in disguise.”
The great hall instantly erupted in laughter.
“You are a fool, creatin!” Ermendrud boasted, “Do you really think I am so blind!”
Dalibor turned back to “Luna”. “I could go on about how your gate, posture, mannerisms, and even the inflection of your voice matches nothing of what I was informed Princess Luna to be. And ignoring the fact it was Princess Celestia who sat on me when I was a four-year-old cub,” his voice grew for the final conclusion, “Today was my first return to Equestria since I was recalled to the kingdom six years ago. Princess Luna has only been back for less than four years. I have never met her, and yet you remember me.”
The laughing instantly stopped from the ponies and the other delegates, but Legatus Ermendrud continued to laugh until a golden glow enveloped “Luna”. The costume disintegrated into sparkling embers before evaporating into the air revealing her glittering white coat underneath. Everyone quickly bowed as Celestia spread her wings.
“Arise, noble quill,” she ordered.
Dalibor stood straight before her.
“Tell me. What have you been told of my dear little sister?”
Dalibor went to glance at Ermendrud.
“Do not look to him for answers,” she ordered, “Look me in the face and speak with a voice worthy of a griffon.”
Dalibor took a deep breath and gathered it in his chest for the volume. “‘Princess Luna is a creature full of shame and fear. She is obsessed with formality and protocol and is unable to deal with situations that demand personal judgment. She is meek and passive, terrified that any form of assertion will be met by fear from her subjects. As such, she is easily manipulated.’ That is what was said in today’s briefing at the embassy.”
“And who gave this briefing?” Celestia asked.
“Praetor Irmhild, your Majesty. The Ambassador.”
“Where is the Night Court’s representative of the Royal Treasury?” Celestia ordered.
“I am… here, Princess…” a young stallion with nerdy glasses fumbled with a quill and a clipboard in his magic. “I’m Slide Ruler, ma’am.”
Celestia smiled then turned to Ermendrud. “Tell me Slide Ruler. What does the palace pay for an individual quill?”
“A… a quill?”
“Yes, a single quill?”
“I’m not sure,” he answered, “When I buy quills, they are five bits, but the palace might be getting a bulk discount.”
“Very well. Thank you, Slide Ruler. You may return to your station.”
He bowed and walked back to the wall.
“Legatus,” Celestia raised her voice for all to hear, “I will be buying this ‘quill’ from you. You will be remunerated at the gate of the palace.”
“What?!” both griffons said at once.
“I know full well the price paid by those who fail the tasks at the Coming of Age. No one may have failed in 800 years, but I am well over a thousand. Either you accept this money and leave quietly, or should I recite Equestria’s laws on slavery?”
“I will accept your gracious gift,” Ermendrud said, masking his fury.
“Good. Now leave my presence,” she ordered.
He backed away before turning around and walking towards the back of the hall.
“And to all my little ponies,” Celestia addressed the hall, “When my dearest sister told me her troubles, I did not take her seriously. I did so because I could not imagine the nobles I have known since they were foals behaving in such a manner. You have broken my heart. Night Court is dissolved until further notice.” She turned to the griffon, “Come Dalibor. Follow me.”
~~***~~
The doors to the hall slammed shut behind them with a loud echo through the empty corridor.
“Milady, I…”
“There is no need to thank me, Dalibor. I have used all means within my power to keep an eye on you since you left our borders. The reason your auction price was so high was because I ordered my agents to buy you at all costs. But it got to the point where they felt if they continued it would raise questions.”
Celestia continued several more steps before she heard sobbing behind her. She walked back and nuzzled Dalibor crying on the ground, “There will be time to cry once we are out of the public areas of the palace. Come.”
Dalibor quickly rose to his feet recognizing the warning.
The two turned the heads of the guards as they walked toward the bedrooms. They came to Celestia’s hallway. The guards at her door saluted. “Princess?! When did you…?”
Suddenly the door opened and Luna poked her head out.
“Princess Luna?! When did you…?!”
“I thought I told you to sleep?” Celestia scolded.
“We knew you wouldn’t be able to pull it off, so we stayed awake,” she answered, “But we’ll admit you came back sooner than… Oh? Who is this?”
Celestia smiled at Dalibor, “A good friend I want you to meet. Come. Let’s relax in the sitting room.” She walked past Luna into her room.
Dalibor hung his head as he chuckled nervously, slipping into the room.
Luna glanced at the confused guards, “Celestia will explain things in the morning.” She slammed the door.
~~***~~
“A slave?! Oh dear, you will have sanctuary here in the palace.”
Dalibor bowed, “Thank you, Princess Luna.”
The two turned their heads when Celestia cleared her throat. She was already reclining in the pillows. They followed her lead and sat down.
“Dalibor,” she began, “I think for the time being it would be best to hide your identity for now. How would you feel about me casting the same cloaking spell I tried to use on you?”
“You… want me to pretend to be your sister?”
Celestia giggled, “No. I mean you can hide among the civilian staff until things calm down.”
Dalibor bowed his head, “I am under your protection, my liege.”
“Sister, we have a suggestion.”
“Yes, Luna?”
Luna grabbed several scrolls from the desk, “We didn’t think you would return so quickly. So we began reading the scrolls Spike sent of what they have learned about Prince Vegeta. According to what Pinkie Pie dragged out of him…” she placed the scroll in front of Celestia. Celestia took it and she continued, “… He was a slave himself for over half his life. Perhaps a kindred spirit will open his mouth further?”
“Oh my…” Celestia scanned the scroll. Then she quickly set it aside, “Such things are best read in the daylight.”
“Is this ‘Prince Vegeta’ the one everyone is speaking of?” Dalibor asked.
“Yes,” Celestia nodded, “And since you saw through my disguise almost instantly, Luna does raise a point. But I think you should have a few days to get used to your new appearance before you go anywhere near him. If that is your decision.”
“What is the truth of this pony?” he asked, “The reason I was brought was because the Ambassador thought I could make sense of the ‘hysterical pony prattle’ since I grew up here. His words, not mine.”
Celestia took a deep breath. “There are many worlds other than our own that lay next to us but are usually unaware. And I don’t mean the afterlife, but living worlds similar to our own. Prince Vegeta and his daughter are from one of these worlds. Bulla has been watching Equestria remotely by unknown means, then when given a magical object to wish upon, wished to come to Ponyville and be transformed into a pony from her native species. Her father repeated the spell not knowing its destination or physical effects to chase after her. As young Bulla has shown great depth of knowledge of Equestria, Prince Vegeta has shown pure ignorance. That ignorance led to both his own injury…” She looked at Luna, “and my sister's.”
“Then you are really hurt? You don’t look it?”
Luna nodded, “Their native kind does not possess internal magic. Our injury was an accident, but we have been fully healed. A magic horncuff has been locked on him to prevent any more accidents, for his own safety and others.”
“To injure one of the Heavenly Sisters… He must truly be powerful… and the object that brought them here.”
“And there we are at a standstill…” Celestia sighed, “I know everypony is demanding answers, but we are still gathering information, let alone deciding what can be released to the public, our allies, and… what is meant for more prudent ears, young Dalibor.”
He nodded, “I understand completely.”
“Good,” Celestia stood. She stretched, “Dalibor, I want you to make yourself comfortable here in the couches. Luna, let’s visit the bedroom… and no pillow fights tonight.” She walked into the next room.
Luna quickly stood, “It was a pleasure meeting you, Dalibor.” She followed Celestia out, then gently closed the privacy screen to separate the areas.
The guards outside could hear the sobbing, but they could not tell whose it was.
Chapter 8: Masks
Dawn came, and Celestia returned to the bedroom.
Celestia tapped the marble floor with her hoof outside the screen, “Dalibor? I have raised the sun.”
“I am awake, milady.”
Celestia folded the screen with her magic.
Dalibor was sitting at attention. He bowed.
Celestia nodded in response. “It is time to create your costume and choose a name.” She turned sideways and nodded towards the rest of the suite.
“Now first off,” she said as they walked into the main room, “What are your favorite colors?”
“Gold and red.”
“And your least favorite?”
“Green, yellow and orange. Do I get to have gold fur and a red mane?”
“No,” Celestia said, “Nor will you be the colors you hate. These will be the ones that will draw attention to you. White and blue would also call attention, being the royal colors. Since brown is your natural color, it will also be expected.”
Dalibor glanced at the ground. “So… gray tones?” he asked looking back up.
Celestia nodded, “Would you like a light coat and darker mane or a dark coat and lighter mane?”
Dalibor scratched his beak. “If I say one thing,” he thought, “She’ll probably want to do the opposite…” “I’d like a dark coat and a light mane and tail.”
“Excellent,” she smiled, “Let’s head over to the mirror.”
Dalibor slapped his forehead after she turned around.
~~***~~
Deep in the crystal dungeon, Vegeta was twirling the books in the air in a figure eight.
“With this thing on my horn, this is so much easier. Bloody magic kept getting in the way.”
“Prince Vege~ta!” he heard in a singsong voice.
Vegeta dropped the books, laid his head down and faked snores.
Luna came up to the bars, “You do remember as Princess of the Night we can tell whether or not you are asleep.”
He opened his eyes. “Oh yeah…”
“Perhaps if you had slept last night, you would not be grumpy this morning.”
“Princess, if any amount of sleep could fix my grumpiness, my wife would have bought a spinning wheel a looooooong time ago…”
“We assume from thy sarcasm thou meant it as a joke,” Luna said, “But we do not understand the reference.”
Vegeta glared at her. “You’re here to take me to interrogation?” he growled.
Luna stood proudly. “No. We have brought thou breakfast.” She turned her head down the hall, “Servants! You may proceed.”
Two unicorns and a pegasus in white chef’s outfits carried several silver platters into view. Vegeta’s ears instinctively perked up as he raised his head. The door was opened wide as one of the unicorns floated a platter inside and set it next to Vegeta.
He took a big sniff, then smiled. “Oh, that doesn’t smell like hay.”
The lid was lifted off. Vegeta saw the omelet, then noticed it folded over a grilled fish. He looked up at Luna, “An egg roll? Really?”
“Is… it not to your liking?” Luna asked, surprised.
“Close enough.” Vegeta threw his nose into the omelet, completely ignoring the disgusted, cringing faces of the staff at his ungraceful chewing and swallowing. “Wis where moar fush im du ower wlates?” he asked with his mouth full.
“No, fruit and hay. Doctor’s orders.” Luna smirked.
Vegeta spat out the eggs, “Why didn’t you give me those first?! Now I’ll have the taste of hay in my mouth all morning!”
“Do not fear,” Luna said, “We have multiple plates of egg rolls. The chefs could not discern its true recipe from what you spoke so they created several versions, though we assume they got it correct the first time?”
“Actually, no. But this is still damn good.” Vegeta returned to his attempts to eat.
Luna turned to the chefs. “Lay the platters on the floor,” she whispered, “We will lift them.”
They nodded and quickly exited. Her guards glanced down the cell block when she was not with them. Luna nodded to the guards and they returned to attention.
Luna turned back to Vegeta and saw him licking the plate. She cleared her throat, “Perhaps now would be an excellent time to teach thee the art of chewing.”
Vegeta looked up with his tongue still on the plate. He draws it back into his mouth, “Don’t you mean table manners?”
“No. We mean chewing. Thou art definitely a carnivore by the way thy turn thy head. But equines not only lack such teeth but possess a gap in our dentition.”
“Trust me. I’ve noticed…”
“No need to hiss,” Luna giggled, “We shall have thou mastered by lunch.” She took his plate and placed a new one in front. She lifts the lid revealing the hay, “Let us begin.”
Vegeta groaned.
“Thou may be a predator in thy natural state, but currently thou art an herbivore. Thou cannot survive this venture behaving as thy have. Thou must change, even if temporarily.”
Luna was surprised when Vegeta looked at the ground and took a short breath. “Doest this anger thee?”
Vegeta looked back up. “Let’s just get on with this,” he growled.
~~***~~
Above, Dalibor was looking over himself in a full-size mirror. He was a graphite gray pegasus with a blue-tinged silver mane and tail. His eyes were the same silvery color.
“Are you satisfied this time?” Celestia asked, trying to mask how tired she was from casting the spell so many times.
“Surprisingly… Yes,” he said, turning around for the first time in hours. He got a good look at Celestia. “Why didn’t you say this spell was so draining?! I would have settled for anything far sooner.”
“You have a sharp eye… Under other circumstances, a spying glass of some kind would be your cutie mark. But it still needs to be something that lends your talent to working in the palace.”
“And something that would lend me to acting with the foreign prince,” Dalibor added. “What about an abacus? I remember those being common as a cub. Or has the make-up of the staff changed?”
“Wonderful idea, Dalibor.” Celestia tapped her hoof to her chin. “Oh I know,” she put her hoof down and spread her wings, “Your name shall be Bean Counter.” She zapped his rear and an abacus formed. She folded her wings, “There. Now let’s get you over to the internship quarters. Remember, watch your claws. You have hooves to the rest of us.”
“Yes, milady,” Bean Counter followed Celestia to the door.
“The first thing we’ll need to do is backdate your paperwork…”
~~***~~
“Thou art catching on faster than we anticipated,” Luna smiled, “Perhaps thou shall come to the banquet tonight!”
The metal clang of the cellblock door opening interrupted Vegeta’s sarcasm.
“Princess Luna?”
Luna looked and saw four unicorns in white coats walk up.
“Oh Dr. Cast. What are you doing here?”
“It’s 9:30. What are you doing up this time of day?” he asked.
“It’s 9:30 already?!” she turned to Vegeta, “Excuse us.”
Vegeta saw her gallop away. Then four unicorns came up to the open door. They bowed.
“Greetings your Majesty, I am Dr. Cast. Private physician to the royal sisters,” said the blue one, “And these are Dr. Statin…” the peach one nodded his head, “Dr. Brace…” the red one nodded, “and Dr. Gauze…” the lime-green one nodded.
Dr. Cast walked inside, “Your eyes are a little red? Did the anti-pain spell not help with the bruises? Or was it the cloud fluff spell on the blankets?”
“No, everything’s fine,” Vegeta said, “I spent all day yesterday sleeping though. Body can only take so much before it gets restless.”
Dr. Cast nodded, “I see."
Dr. Gauze walked in with a folder in his magic, “Dr. Stable forwarded your medical folder. You are one lucky pony. That poison joke most likely saved your life by stopping the internal bleeding.”
Dr. Statin came in next, “We have also been informed of the shape-shifting magic and the teleportation spell…”
“But the information was vague to say the least,” Dr. Brace interrupted, “There have been so many rumors flying around since yesterday…”
Dr. Cast coughed, “Princess Celestia said not to ask him any questions.”
“Oh…” Dr. Brace lowered his head, “Yes…”
Vegeta smirked. “Well if you can’t ask questions, why don’t you answer mine? Her Majesty didn’t forbid that, did she?”
The four doctors looked at each other.
“Actually, she didn’t,” Dr. Statin said as they turned back to Vegeta.
“Figures,” he thought, “As naive as a children’s story should be.”
Vegeta smiled, “How about you tell me what you have heard about me?” He put his hoof over his heart, “It soooo hard dealing with pe-ponies. I don’t understand why everypony is reacting the way they are. It would certainly help me make friends.” Vegeta innocently blinked his large eyes as he mentally gagged.
The four smiled.
“Of course,” Dr. Cast said, “We will be happy to help. But first we need to change your bandages and recharge the healing spells. Now we know you’re sensitive to being touched with magic, but we will need to lift you. Are you ready?”
“As I’ll ever be,” Vegeta said through his teeth.
Blue magic enveloped him and he dangled in the air. Then red magic unwrapped the bandages.
“Now this is going to tingle a lot,” Dr. Gauze said as a giant green square forms in the air. Then it moved forward.
Vegeta clinched his eyes.
The green square passes over him head to tail before fading away.
Vegeta’s eye twitched. “And what was that for!”
Dr. Gauze took a clipboard and pen in his magic and began to write. “It was a scanning spell. Your bones are healing much faster than they should be… but there is nothing wrong with that. Actually… Everything is healing far faster than it should be. At this rate, you’ll be out and about in a week.”
“Are you sure about that?” Dr. Cast said surprised. Three more squares form, blue, red and peach.
“No! No! No!” Vegeta flailed in the air, “My native species has accelerated healing abilities! It must have carried over!” Then he gritted his teeth while his eyes screamed.
“Well, you won’t heal faster if you jerk around like that,” Dr. Cast said.
Dr. Brace casted a spell on the wrappings turning them a shining white. Then he began to rewrap Vegeta starting with his front right leg.
Vegeta flexed his wrist as he moved on, “This doesn’t hurt anymore?”
“It’s the anti-pain spell,” Dr. Brace said, “We did say we were here to clean and recharge the bandages.”
“And the blankets,” Dr. Statin said, fluffing the blankets in his peach magic. “I’ll put a softer spell on it.”
“Oh, we should probably check the evacuation spell,” Dr. Cast said.
Vegeta blushed, feeling his tail being lifted. He struggled to lower it. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!”
“The evacuation spell takes care of your bodily functions while you’re incapacitated,” Dr. Cast smiled, “Unless you want a lesson on how your new form works in that manner?”
“No, no that’s perfectly fine…” Vegeta clinched his eyes, “Go ahead. Poke away.”
The doctors tried not to laugh. “That’s not how it works. It’s an internal magic that teleports anything inside before it reaches that point,” Dr. Cast lowered his tail, “Everything’s clean.”
“And everything’s fluffed,” Dr. Statin laid the blanket back down. Dr. Cast lowered Vegeta back down.
He quickly shuffled into a comfortable spot. “So then, about my questions?”
“Of course, Sire,” Dr. Brace nodded. The others nodded as well.
“Tell me about this land. This is my first time here, obviously.”
“Well,” Dr. Statin started, “what do you want to hear first? That is a very broad topic.”
“How about history?”
The four nodded, smiling.
“Good,” Vegeta thought, “Past is Prelude after all.”
Dr. Staten took a long breath. “In ancient times the three tribes, Unicorns, Pegasi, and Earth Ponies, were enemies. Then a winter came that turned into an eternal blizzard. Food ran out, and the tribes unable to come together in this time of crisis, fled their homeland and began to wander. Each found a new home and resettled. Then they discovered the other tribes had stumbled across the same valley. The fighting started again, quickly followed by a new blizzard. This blizzard turned from simple snow to pure ice, feet thick covering the land with the speed of a storm wave across the beach. The tribes took shelter in a large cave. Fighting broke out, and ice quickly swept through the cave encapsulating the national leaders and their ponies. The survivors fled to the rear of the cave. These peasants had never met anyone from the other tribes and quickly discovered they had more in common than their leaders had led them to believe. When laughter broke out, the roaring of the wind turned to whinnies of pain. The unicorn sorcerer, Clover the Clever was with the group. She recognized the scream as Wendigos, ice spirits that gain their strength from hatred. Clover encouraged the joy and signing, and with a spell of love drove back the demons. First thawing the cave, and then the valley. Afterwards the tribes united as one nation and founded Equestria.”
“Now that’s a legend,” Vegeta said wide-eyed, “I honestly wasn’t expecting anything remotely close to that.”
Dr. Statin bowed, “The reign of Discord would be next.”
“Discord? You mean that thing I met that’s been turned to stone several times?”
“Yes,” Dr. Brace said, surprised. “You know this story?”
“I heard it from Rainbow Dash and… ummm…” Vegeta hung his head, “Dang it.” He closed his eyes trying to think. He raised his head, “The yellow pegasus with pink butterflies on her rear back in Ponyville.”
“Cutie Mark,” the four doctors said at once.
“Excuse me?”
After the four began to speak at once, the others ceded to Dr. Cast.
He turned sideways exposing his flank, “These are called ‘cutie marks.’ All ponies are born with a ‘blank flank.’ Then, when they discover their destiny, a mark appears symbolizing it. As you see, ours are all varieties of medical symbols.”
The other three also turn sideways.
Vegeta nodded behind him, “Guess I have to put 'Find my destiny’ on the to-do list once I’m well.”
“It’s actually simpler than it sounds,” Dr. Cast said, “Just do what you already naturally enjoy doing. Cutie Marks usually appear in the first few years of life.”
“I hope the cutie mark for sarcasm doesn’t look stupid…” Vegeta said dryly.
The doctors all laughed.
Vegeta let out a held breath. “Good, they are back on my side,” he thought. “How about the current royal line? When did they come to power?”
“The royal line?” Dr. Brace asked as the giggles died down.
“Princesses Celestia and Luna. When did their ancestors come to the throne? From whom did they inherit power from?”
“Oh…” the doctors’ mouthed.
“The princesses are the first in their line,” Dr. Cast said. “They are war heroes. They came to power after defeating Discord and King Sombra over a thousand years ago.”
Vegeta’s eyes-widened. “A thousand years? They are a thousand years old?”
“Over a thousand years,” Dr. Cast said, “They were already fully realized alicorns when they appeared in history. Before that, only they and Discord know.”
“And your calendar, it is 365 days of 24 hours?”
“Yes,” Dr. Cast nodded, “They have definitely lived well over five times a normal lifespan. I understand your surprise since they look so young.”
“How old are you?” Dr. Gauze asked.
“53, of a race that lives 70 years.”
“70?!” the four shouted at once.
“That’s the average. Males usually die in their 60s,” Vegeta’s eyes widened and he glanced at the floor briefly. “I have a decade left…” he said slower.
“And your calendar is 365 days of 24 hours?” Dr. Gauze asked.
Vegeta nodded.
Dr. Gauze collapses, “My baby filly just turned 70… so… young…”
“Congratulations on your child’s birthday,” Vegeta smiled. He turned his gaze back to the remaining doctors who were not a blubbering mess, “So who was King Som-bur-a, was it?”
“King Sombra was a powerful unicorn who single handedly conquered the Crystal Empire to the north,” Dr. Cast began, “Every unicorn’s magic is of the same element as their Cutie Mark, like how ours is healing magic. His magic was fear and hatred manifested as…”
Vegeta was surprised when fear grips the doctors, even Dr. Gauze scrambled to his hooves and began to back into the bars of the cell.
“… We should go,” Dr. Cast grabbed the files and papers and exited the cell quickly followed by the others. Dr. Gauze slammed and locked the door, and galloped after the others.
Vegeta sighed frustrated. Then he laid his head down and lulled over the information.
“Fear and hatred…” he thought, “This King Sombra is the reason I’m being treated like this in a frilly-fu-fu world… That also means I’m no different than a person Princess Celestia and Luna overthrew to become rulers of this land… but as an alicorn, I’m a super saiyan compared to him…”
Vegeta's eyes widened and he forced himself to stand. “This is going to hurt in the morning…” he thought, feeling his bones and joints twist in ways they should not, although there was no pain.
He came to the bars, “My daughter! Where is my daughter?! BULLA!”
Chapter 9: Faster than Light
Chapter 9: Faster than Light
*Umph*
“Fancy Pants!?”
“Rarity, my darling,” he said standing back up, “I love you to pieces but we really must spot bumping into each other like this.”
The others ran around the corner and saw the three picking up their shopping.
Fleur dis Lee held the toys in her magic, “Why Rarity? Is there something you’re not telling us darling?”
Rarity blushed, “Oh, no, no, no, no, no. These are for Princess Bulla.”
“Are y'all alright?” Applejack said as they ran up.
“Princess Twilight. Girls. So splendid to see you again,” Fancy Pants bowed his head. “So, who is this Princess Bulla?” he said standing straight, “I don’t remember any foals by that name, even among the foreign dignitaries.”
“She’s Prince Vegeta’s daughter,” Pinkie Pie bounced.
Fancy Pants’ and Fleur’s eyes widened.
“As in the incident from Ponyville yesterday?” Fleur asked nervously.
“Right-r-rooney,” she continued to bounce.
“Princess Celestia asked us to look after her,” Twilight said, “Has she already given the official statement yet?”
“No, but the gossipers have been on overdrive,” Fleur said, “You wouldn’t believe what was being said at the salon.”
“Yes, the talk at the track was anything but the race,” Fancy Pants said, “I honestly cannot believe a single ounce of it is true.” He looked at Fleur. “I would say things are even becoming… dangerous,” he said softer.
Fleur nodded.
“Oh dear,” Fluttershy cowered.
Rainbow Dash hovered in front of him with her front legs crossed. “Define ‘dangerous’?” she asked skeptically.
“Oh! Rainbow Dash,” Rarity scolded, “stop making a scene. Some gossip is not Gabby Gums material.” She turned back to Fancy Pants and Fleur, “Tell you what. Why don’t I make the gossip rounds with you two,” she looked over her shoulder back at the others, “While everyone else heads to the palace. No one will suspect me with Fancy Pants and Fleur dis Lee.” She looked back at the two, “Is that alright with you?”
“Excellent idea,” Fancy Pants smiled, “I was actually going to ask that myself.” He lowered his voice, “The more degrees of separation between us and the palace the better, I fear.”
“Come with me, Rarity,” Fleur said, “If you’re going to be with us this afternoon, we simply must get you a new hat.”
“I’ll meet up with you at the palace later once I get a handle on what’s been happening,” Rarity said before walking off with Fleur.
“Farewell, princess. Girls,” Fancy Pants bowed, “Good luck with the new royals.” He respectfully trotted after the others.
“I don’t like the sound of this,” Fluttershy shuttered.
Twilight sighed and added Rarity’s bags to her own floating in the air. “Wish Spike was here to help carry everything…”
“True,” Fluttershy said, “But when Discord said Princess Celestia wanted him close by I needed someone to watch the animals. And he did such a good job last time.”
“What?!” everyone shouted.
Fluttershy chuckled nervously, “Did I forget to mention that?”
Rainbow Dash floated to the ground. “Discord’s here? Oh…” she sighed, annoyed.
~~***~~
The group entered the palace grounds. Celestia was there to meet them.
“Twilight, so good to see…” Celestia did a head count, “Where is Rarity?”
“We ran into Fancy Pants and Fleur dis Lee on the way here,” Twilight said, “They said they were worried about some rumors they heard, but they wouldn’t tell us. So Rarity went to hear them for herself.”
Fluttershy crept forward, “They used the word ‘dangerous’, Princess.”
“Dangerous?” Celestia asked, shocked.
“MmmHmm,” Applejack nodded, “They also said they wanted as much room between ya’ll and them as possible.”
“I see,” she said, “Fancy Pants has always been a trusted noble.” Celestia turned to face the palace, “Come.”
“So, how’s Bulla and Prince Vegeta?” Pinkie bounced next to Celestia.
“Bulla is very melancholy. She has barely eaten since yesterday. Prince Vegeta is doing very well. He is eating…” Celestia paused to find a word, “heftily. And is healing faster than expected.”
“That’s good to hear,” Twilight said, “The faster he recovers the better Bulla will feel.”
“Saiyans have really fast meet-tab-o-isms. They eat a whole bunch more than other ponies,” Pinkie Pie bounced.
“Do you even know what metabolism means?” Applejack asks.
“It’s how fast you become hungry after eating,” Pinkie Pie looked back and smiled, “Just because I always drew smiley faces all over my homework doesn’t mean the answers were wrong.” She turned forward, “Too bad Vegeta doesn’t like candy. Sugarcube Corner could really use the business.”
“I know you always look for the good in ponies,” Celestia began, “But why Vegeta? Your attachment is far more than compassion for his injuries.”
“It’s a secret.”
“This is not the time to keep secrets, Pinkie Pie,” Celestia scolded.
Pinkie Pie suddenly got in front of her. “No,” she said, firmly pointing her hoof at the senior princess.
The others gasped.
Pinkie stomped her hoof. “I always thought when people were afraid or panicking they would randomly scream things, even if it made no sense. But now that I know I can head talk, that means I know a million-quadrillion secrets I never Pinkie promised to! I’m not telling anypony's secrets, including his!”
“That is noble of you Pinkie Pie, but…”
“No,” Pinkie Pie stomped her foot again. “How would you like it if I told everyone your head screams? The perfect, all-knowing Princess Celestia panicking behind your perfectly calm smile?”
Celestia’s ears twitched slightly before she caught her breath and stood tall.
“You wouldn’t dare,” she threatened.
“You're right, I wouldn’t,” Pinkie Pie smiled, “Neither you nor Vegeta.” She turned around.
“But you should really read the scroll of his second resurrection while you’re looking,” Pinkie Pie said as she bounded up the steps. “It’s obvious you haven’t yet.”
~~***~~
The group came to Bulla’s room and heard a familiar deep laugh.
The door flew open in Celestia’s golden glow. She expected to shout “Discord!” but was silenced by the sight that greeted her eyes.
Discord was bright pink, with bows and ribbons tied everywhere possible, and some places that normally could not, having a tea party with Bulla, also tied up in dozens of ribbons.
“Celestia! Darling,” he said as he pours a cup of tea in the levitating tea set. Then the cup vanished and popped in front of her nose. “Care for some tea?”
Bulla’s face lit up as she saw who else was there behind Celestia’s legs. “Girls!” she pranced over, “Lookie what I can do!” Then she looked around the floor.
“Oh! Here you go,” Discord said and a hair comb appeared on the floor between her and Celestia.
Bulla excitedly picked it up with her hoof and held it up proudly. “Lookie! Lookie! Lookie!” she squealed.
“Bulla that’s amazing,” Twilight said walking into the room, “Discord, how did you teach her so quickly?”
Discord changed his clothes to a pink version of a Sherlock Holmes costume. He blew bubbles out his pipe before taking it out of his mouth.
“Elementary my dear Twilight. Bulla’s kind is without magic, so she has absolutely no idea of how her new body works. So I used my powers to control her body so she could feel what I was doing then I let her try to copy it.”
Discord then blew a giant bubble from his pipe and it floated over. It encapsulated Bulla and he lifted the giggling foal.
“Oh! Oh! Do me next! Do me next!” Pinkie Pie bounced into the room.
“Actually, I need to talk to you Discord. So tea time is over,” Celestia ordered.
Bulla’s bubble popped and she hit the ground. “Awe…” she and Pinkie whined.
“Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. See what you’ve done Celestia,” Discord scolded, “You’ve burst her bubble.”
Celestia walked in the room and lowered her head to the pouting filly. “I promise Discord can play with you later. But right now, I need him,” she said softly.
Bulla just nodded, not looking up from the floor.
“Awe. Don’t worry Bulla,” Discord vanished then appeared miniature hugging Bulla, “Now don’t you fret. You’ll be spending time with Rarity now.”
Bulla instantly lit up.
Then he popped up on top of Celestia’s head and held his hand above his eyes. “Hmmm… where is the pony?”
If Bulla could deflate like Pinkie’s hair, she just did. She started to whimper sprawled out on the floor.
Twilight came in. “Rarity will be here soon,” she tried to comfort, “She just needed to see Fanc…”
“Fancy Pants and Fluer dis Lee!” Bulla bounded into the air then darted around the room. “Can I meet them? Can I meet them? Can I meet them? ...”
“Did you teach her teleportation?” Celestia looked up at Discord, still on her head.
“Sorry Celestia, but I have nothing to do with this.”
Suddenly Celestia felt four hooves on her back.
“So when do I meet them?”
Celestia lowered her wings to reveal Bulla on her back. She picked her up in her golden glow. “That can be arranged child. But not today.” She set her on the ground. “I’m sure they have plans for the next few days, but…”
“But can’t you make them come or else? You are the Princess.” Bulla gave Celestia puppy dog eyes.
Celestia gasped, “And what is this ‘or else’ to be?”
Bulla put her hoof to her chin for a moment. “I actually don’t know,” she put her hoof down, “I’ve never seen Mommy or Aunt Chi Chi and 18 use it because everyone always does what they say.” Then she jumped in the air, “But it has to be amazing to scare Daddy and Goku! They are the strongest in the universe. And Mommy says the universe is really really big so that’s almost everyone everywhere,” she added, proud of her knowledge.
“I’m sorry Bulla, but I will do no such thing,” Celestia said sternly, “And after that outburst, I hesitate to introduce you at all.”
“What?!” Bulla shouted.
Applejack stomped into the room and went snout to snout with the filly. “Bulla, ya’ll don’t go gettin’ what ya want by threatin’ ponies. And for somepony who’s been spyin’ on us, ya don’t know nothin’ bout Equestria longer than ya can spit.”
Rainbow Dash flew up into view and crossed her front legs. “Ya, seriously. If you really want to make friends, you gotta stop the spoiled brat routine. Just because you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth does not make you better than other ponies.”
Bulla’s eyes widened, then started to water. “Silv…er Spoon? …You think… I…?”
The ponies nodded. “Hmhmm”, “Yep”, “Absolutely”.
“… And Diamond Tiara?” Bulla squeaked.
Everyone looked confused and glanced at each other to see if anyone had an answer.
Suddenly Bulla started to wail as water poured from her eyes. She left twin rivers as she dashed to the bathroom and slammed the door. Then they heard the sink turn on.
“Twilight? What did she mean by ‘Diamond Tiara’?” Celestia looked down.
“I… I don’t know,” she looked up.
“Wait…” Rainbow Dash tapped her chin, “I think I… Yeah.” She dropped her legs, “There’s two fillies in Scootaloo’s class named that. I coached them for the flag waving contest. Definitely not the tomboy type.”
“Yeah…” Applejack said thinking, “I’ve definitely heard Applebloom say those names before. Wait a hog gone minute. Diamond Tiara’s the name of Filthy Rich’s lil’ tike. Filthy made her sing to the water when she called Granny an old coot. Wait… She looked just like the pony Babs told off at the train station.”
“But that would mean…” Fluttershy said.
The five gasped. “They’re bullies?!”
“Bravo. Bravo,” Discord clapped, “Did you girls seriously just figure that out? Honestly.” He walked over, now his normal color. “And I thought you knew bad apples when you saw them, Applejack?”
“If you knew this was going on Discord why didn’t you say anything?” Celesta scolded.
Discord shrugged his shoulders, “Since when would my word count for anything? Besides, I've never witnessed any of this. But I can sense when a pony takes pleasure from causing disharmony. It’s kinda my specialty. And when those two stood before my statue on their little school field trip, they reeked of it.” Then he crossed his arms, “And I’ll tell you right now Bulla hasn’t got a mean spot in her soul. Now I think you girls should explain to her that you were not comparing her to those two when you called her a silver spoon.”
The girls rushed over to the bathroom door and Twilight turned the handle with her magic.
“Bulla?” Fluttershy said softly as the door squeaked open.
Celestia saw everyone’s jaws drop and ears pin back. She and Discord looked over their heads.
Inside, Bulla had not just turned on the sink, but the shower and separate bath as well. She was sitting on the toilet lid, pulling the lever over and over again as she wailed.
Celestia’s golden glow enveloped the door and gently shut it. Everyone turned to her shocked.
“As difficult as this is to witness, this is a valuable lesson she must learn. Even if its initiation was an accident.”
The girls all sulked.
Discord began tiptoeing towards the door in a black and white bandit’s outfit and mask.
“Discord, leave her alone,” Celestia scolded.
Discord's clothes vanished and an angel’s halo appeared over his overly innocent face.
Celestia sighed, then began to walk towards the door, “You girls are free to roam the palace, but don’t come back to Bulla for at least 30 minutes. Come Discord. We need to talk.”
The girls parted one way while Discord and Celestia walked another. Fluttershy and Discord looked back at each other before sighing and continuing on.
“I know you can be stern Celestia, but honestly…”
Celestia turned around. “Discord, what have you heard of last night?”
“Why? Did some chaos happen without me?”
“You… honestly don’t know?”
Discord crossed his arms, “Sorry Celestia. I spent all night with little Bulla.”
“You’ve been with her all night?”
“Sorry Celestia, but we swore a Pinkie Promise not to talk about it.” He uncrossed his arms, “But she is very homesick. I think the sooner we reunite her with her father the better.”
“We will be able to do that in a few more days,” Celestia said, “The doctor’s report says he is healing extremely rapidly. Prince Vegeta explained it by saying his native species has accelerated healing abilities.”
“That’s good to hear. Soooooo,” Discord rubbed his hands together, “What happened last night and what does this have to do with me?”
~~***~~
Discord was floating in the air on his back with one hand on his head and the other pointing at a glaring Celestia. “You tried to impersonate your sister and didn’t last five minutes?!”
“Discord!” Celestia shouted.
“Oh! All right. All right…” Discord grumbled as he came back to the ground. “So what does this have to do with little old me?” He disappeared then popped back with a movie camera and a director’s outfit. “Want some acting tips?”
“No. I need you to be a fly on the wall,” Celestia said flatly.
Discord popped back to his normal look, “With Vegeta I assume?”
“No, the Griffon Empire Embassy.”
Discord’s jaw literally hit the ground. Then he took his horn, stuck it to the side of his head, and racketed it back up.
“The pony who found me out so quickly was a griffon slave I’ve since confiscated. The empire has been slighted, and the ambassador’s family humiliated. I want you to keep an eye on them. They will be trying to restore their honor. Trying to kill the slave is the most obvious solution, but there could be others.”
“I assume you have him stashed in the palace somewhere?”
Celestia nodded.
“Welp, one fly on the wall coming up.” Discord turned into a bug. “How’s this?” he asked in a squeaky voice.
Celestia nodded, “Very good. Proceed.”
Discord disappeared in a little puff of smoke.
Celestia let out a short sigh.
“Princess Celestia,” a pegasus guard runs up, “Princess Cadence has just arrived from the Crystal Empire.”
~~***~~
Celestia came to the front of the palace. She could tell even from this distance something was wrong. Cadence stopped talking to the guard when she spotted her. She bowed politely to him before jogging up.
“What’s wrong, Princess Cadence?”
“Princess Celestia, what’s really happening here? I’ve heard stories of a new dark mage.”
Celestia’s ears pinned back. “Have the rumors spread so far already?”
“Some say King Sombra has returned. Others that he’s been reborn an alicorn of hatred. Or a brand new mage all together. The Crystal Empire is in a panic.”
“I doubt coming here has done anything to calm your subjects.”
“I thought that even if half of it was true, I should be here. Just in case.”
Celestia nodded. “Very well. Since you are here, we could use your help with Prince Vegeta.”
“Then there really is a new dark mage?”
Celestia nodded again. “We can talk on the way.”
~~***~~
“How many times do I have to say I want to see my daughter!” Vegeta shouted at the two guards now standing on the other side of the door.
“We can send word upstairs since you’re so insistent, but as we’ve said before Princess Celestia has ordered you two stay apart until you are well. Which won’t be any time soon if you keep standing up like this.”
“Your Majesty,” the other guard began, “I can tell your shoulder has slipped out of place under your bandages. Please allow us to reset your bones so you can rest while the message is relayed.”
“Not until you tell me where she is!” he shouted.
“For the last time,” the first one gripes, “she is upstairs in one of the guest suites. Princess Celestia would never stick a child down here.”
“Give me one good reason why I should believe you? You would say that no matter what!”
The first one groaned. “I’ll send the message. You stay here.” He walked off.
Vegeta and the second guard watched until he was out of sight.
“So then…” the second guard sighed as he turned back to Vegeta. He was surprised to see him backing away from the door. “Glad to see you’re finally lying down.”
“Oh, I’m not lying down,” Vegeta smirked.
Then the guard heard clinking metal.
~~***~~
“And that’s the whole story as we know so far,” Celestia sighed.
“That’s nothing like I’ve heard or imagined,” Cadence said astonished.
“Princess Cadence, since you are here, could you look into his heart with your magic? Vegeta has proven adept at countering Luna’s magic, but I doubt he can do the same for you.”
Cadence nodded, “Of course. I’d be happy to.”
“But first I think it would be best for you to counsel the child…”
Suddenly they heard galloping hooves and turned around.
“Princess Celestia,” the guard bowed, “Prince Vegeta has been making a ruckus. Somehow, he has come to the impression his daughter is below as well and the guards down there cannot assuage him.”
Celestia gasped at the thought.
“Oh my,” Cadence said, “When did this start?”
“I do not know. I was only informed to tell your Majesty of his demands to see his daughter.”
Cadence turned to Celestia. “Sounds like as good a time to meet him.”
“Yes, Bulla will have to wait,” Celestia said, trotting past the guard.
Cadence and the guard followed.
“So why did you want me to visit Princess Bulla first?” Cadence asked, catching up to Celestia.
“To say Bulla is a spoiled brat is an understatement. Her parents have never told her no, and she believes the use of fear and intimidation is a normal exercise of authority.”
Cadence smiled, “So you want me to use my super-duper foalsitting powers on her?”
“Yes. I’m sure Princess Twilight will enjoy your help,” a smile peeked out of her serious face.
Cadence chuckled, “I’m sure she will.”
They turned down the hallway leading to the dungeon.
Celestia furrowed her brow. “Now Prince Vegeta has a sharp tongue and is quick to stab with it. Brace yourself.”
“I also heard you exploded in a ball of fire and set off some sprinklers,” she chuckled.
Celestia blushed a deep, deep red.
Cadence giggled, “I guess that rumor is true as well.”
“So…” Celestia gave a fake smile, “How is everything in the empire?”
“Boring to be honest,” Cadence sighed, “I never fully appreciated everything you do until now.”
“Yes, a little mischief now and again does the soul good. I’m sure you’ll find an outlet soon.”
“That will have to wait until after the Games,” Cadence said, “After a thousand years, none of the public facilities are remotely close to modern standards. And to think that the empire was the most advanced society at the time…” she looked back up at Celestia, “I feel, lucky, to be born when I was.”
Celestia smiled softly remembering, “Yes… Luna and I have witnessed a great deal…” Suddenly Celestia stopped. She wiped her eyes with her hoof. “But tomorrow will always be better,” she started as she picked up the pace, “Let’s hurry to the dungeon.”
They came to the stairs and saw the barred doors at the bottom. The five remaining guards, three unicorns and two pegasi, saluted their Majesties. The messenger trotted forward and resumed his post.
Celestia and Cadence began to walk down the long stairway.
“So how deep in is he?” Cadence asked.
“Not far. First passage to the left. Last cell.”
“Courier! Courier!” They hear echoing from within. One of Vegeta’s guards skidded to a stop at the door, “Prince Vegeta has escaped!”
“What?!” Celestia's wings flared out and she leaped into the air. She sailed to the bottom as Cadence galloped behind. Celestia’s shoes hit the marble floors with a loud bang. The guards were thrown backwards by the force of her Canterlot voice. “Where is he?!”
~~***~~
“Where is he?!” echoed like booming thunder through the halls.
Vegeta cringed. “Well they know I’m gone,” he thought, twisting his jaw to get his ears to pop, “Need to find Bulla.”
~~***~~
Back at Vegeta’s old cell, Cadence was helping heal the injured guard while Celestia examined the lock.
“He melted the latch like cutting it with a knife?! How is that possible? This metal is supposed to be magic proof!”
Cadence finished healing the stallion’s head, then looked at the cracked ceiling above. “That must have been quite the impact to crack the crystal tiles,” she said, “Are you able to tell us what happened?”
Celestia turned around. “Yes. How were you overcome so easily?” she ordered.
The guard rubs his horn. “I can’t explain what happened. There was absolutely no trace of magic emanating from him. It felt like a pure physical impact from below. Then I don’t remember anything.”
“How could you be lifted without magic?” Cadence said surprised. Then everyone turned to the sound of Celestia’s hoof steps as she paced back and forth.
“How could he… the temperatures needed without magic… and to crack the tiles…” Celestia mumbled.
Cadence could see the panic forming on her face for the first time in her life.
“With his injuries… magic horn… magic metal… magic tiles… magic armor…” Suddenly Celestia stopped in her tracks. “How is he doing this?!” she shouted.
“Princess Celestia,” a pegasus guard in the cell said, “the prisoner’s blankets have been torn.”
The unicorn guards suspend the blankets. There was a large section of cloth missing.
“This doesn’t look like a rip to make ropes,” a guard said.
Celestia stomped her hoof to call the guards to attention. “We cannot continue to underestimate him…”
Cadence has not seen this look in her eyes since her wedding.
“… We must always assume the worst and act accordingly. That’s an order!”
~~***~~
Vegeta retightened the knots holding the pieces of blankets over his hooves.
“Glad for this spell,” he thought, “these patches aren’t thick enough to muffle my steps otherwise.”
He continued to look around, “This place is huge. The desertion I expected but not the size. How many thousands of prisoners did the author think to stick down here?”
Vegeta looked back the way he came when he heard the echoes again. “At least they are not any closer,” he thought, returning forward. Then he saw the flames of the torches dance on a sudden breeze. He ducked into the shadows.
A small pegasus guard flew through the halls. “Probably female,” he thought.
Vegeta watched the flames. They returned to normal. He took several steps back into the main hallway before voices made him return to the darkness.
“prisoner… escape… watch… careful… guard… prisoners… don’t… them… escape…” Then a flurry of affirmatives before the pegasus returned the way she came.
“There are people up there,” Vegeta thought. He closed his eyes. “Still can’t sense energy yet… dang it.” He walks back into the light. “Those voices were really close though…” he thought looking at the next set of intersections. “One of these next hallways.” Then he noticed one in the rear had a brighter aura to it. He slipped past the first two intersections and poked his head around the third.
“Dang it. Another crystal hallway… These things must have some purpose other than refraction or they wouldn't be everywhere.” Vegeta then studied the refraction while keeping his ears focused elsewhere. He saw movement.
Vegeta smirked.
~~***~~
“What do you think Wall Cloud meant by ‘Magic without Magic’?” a pegasus guard asked the unicorn next to him.
“Quiet,” said an earth pony in slightly fancier armor, “We were ordered to watch the echo so to not alert the escapee.” He looked down the heavily guarded side branch. “And to make sure they don’t get the information they need.” He turned to another pegasus, “Waterspout, you’re in charge here while I go inform the other checkpoints.” He took the ring of keys around his neck in his teeth and unlocked the gate. He left the keys in the lock as he shut it behind him.
Waterspout took the keys and looped the string over his neck.
Suddenly, several torches at the front of the hall went dark.
“Rapier Wits, I thought you recharged the fire crystals?”
“I did this morning,” the unicorn insisted.
Waterspout pointed down the hall, “Well it doesn’t look like that to me.” He walked over to him and held out his hoof. “Give me the fire charm. I’ll relight them.”
Rapier gave Waterspout a red pendant from around his neck. He flew off into the dark.
Several minutes go by…
Then several more…
It was still dark.
Rapier walked forward. “You ok there?”
Suddenly, the rest of the torches went out plunging the hallway into darkness.
“This can’t be good,” Rapier Wits said. Then he felt a warm breath on the back of his neck.
“Well, aren’t you the smart one,” came a rasping voice.
~~***~~
“Someone escaped their cell? I didn’t even know there was someone else down here.”
“Shush, not so loud,” the earth pony officer nodded his head forward towards the last of the cells.
The unicorn saluted. Then his eyes looked behind him.
The officer turned around and saw the torches had all gone out behind him.
“Stallions forward!” he ordered.
He and the four unicorns left the last cell block and entered the darkened halls. They lit their horns to illuminate the darkness.
Vegeta was pressed against the ceiling of an open cell. His tail was hidden along his belly against the ceiling. Luck had been on his side so far with his mane. He could hear the gasps and the galloping as the light rushed forward.
Vegeta exited, continuing to slink along the ceiling as the five found the unconscious ponies he deliberately left in a pile. He was ungraceful and blunt, wrapping his energy around the unicorns, but he knew they could not feel what he was doing.
All the officer heard was the smashing of bone and crystal and the light suddenly going out. He turned around but saw nothing. He looked around frantically for the others. Then a piece of crystal clinked along the floor.
He looked up and saw his companions embedded in the ceiling. Then a shadow stretched over him and down the hall. He turned around slowly and saw a silhouette of a large creature hanging from the ceiling; its wings outstretched blocking the light.
Then it pounced.
He came face to face with a large pegasus. His mouth refused to open, but nothing was holding it shut.
Vegeta smiled at the fear in his eyes. “Seriously, why couldn’t Gohan mimic the cool comic books,” he thought.
“I am going to let go of your mouth,” he said, “If you don’t want cracked teeth or a cut tongue, I suggest you don’t scream.”
The pony felt the pressure release from his mouth.
“I am looking for my daughter,” Vegeta said, “A white unicorn child with solid blue hair.”
“Even if I did know, why would I tell you?”
Vegeta pushed his face closer to glare eyeball to eyeball.
The officer hid his surprise when his helmet tipped up and he felt what felt like a key lock against his forehead. Then he felt his fur stand on end and as if his skull had gone transparent revealing his soul.
“You’re a natural talent,” Vegeta said, pulling his head back. He then looked behind him, “But definitely can’t hide that you don’t want me headed back there.”
“Horn…”
Vegeta turns back to his victim, now shaking like a maraca.
“Horn… Wings… Not possible…”
Vegeta clapped his mouth shut before he could scream. Then he backed off of him.
The officer tried to move but he felt like he was wrapped in a tight blanket. Suddenly he floated into the air — the last thing he would remember.
~~***~~
Vegeta came back from relighting the torches and floated the unconscious guards into the empty cells. He did not lock the doors fearing the sound the latches would make. Then he continued back into the hall.
Vegeta spotted something odd at the final gate. A board leaned up against the bars of the previous cell with several black robes hanging on hooks and a full-length mirror. Vegeta carefully picked one up. After satisfying himself it’s not magically booby trapped, he put it on and looked in the mirror.
The dark color was definitely an improvement over his white bandages, rolling around in dirt could only do so much. He also noticed its size. It’s almost the perfect size for him; on a normal pony it would drag on the ground obscuring any details of the wearer’s features.
“Are there torture chambers in this world?” he thought. Vegeta looked at the last gate. “If so, Bulla’s definitely not back there. And the guards did say they didn’t know anyone else was in here…” Vegeta trotted back down the hallway.
Vegeta then gallops back, grabs the keys and begins testing the lock, “Quick look to be safe…”
The first thing Vegeta noticed was the smell coming from the empty cells as he walked deeper in.
“Smells like insectoid creatures,” he thought. Then he shivered, “Humans do like evil bug clichés. Some eight-legged pony with fangs is gonna lunge at me any second.”
Vegeta gasped coming to the last set of cells. They are all full of children chained to the walls. Then he notices they are all in the same position, their shackled hooves underneath them. The ones fully in shadow have a slight green glow underneath their crooked horn locks.
“Mine doesn’t glow like that… then again my magic is black unlike everyone else’s neon signs,” he thought.
“Are you here to save us?” one brown and black-haired foal asked with puppy dog eyes.
Vegeta bit his lower lip. “I’m sorry. But I’m only here for my daughter.”
“Daddy!” erupted from several cells, followed by begging and arguing over who the real daughter was.
Vegeta saw at least a third of the children were white foals with various shades of blue hair. “Either she’s not here, or I didn’t pay enough attention to what she looks like now,” he thought.
Vegeta turned to address the block. “All white unicorn foals: I will only unlock the chains of the one who answers this question correctly. What do Uncle Gohan and Aunt Videl call themselves when they play dress-up?” He moved in front of a cell, “Every white one gets 30 seconds for one guess starting with this cell. Starting now.”
Vegeta mouthed a long 30 seconds as the foals all panicked. “Times up. Next cell.” He moved to the next cell. “30 seconds starting now.”
“Sweetums and Pumpkin Pie,” answered one.
“Nope. Next.”
“Kitty-kat and Lumberjack?” another said.
“Nope. Next.”
“Spicy Taco and Hot Sauce!” came a shout from the previous cell.
Vegeta cringed. “What did your parents do in front of you?!”
~~***~~
“Wharents… do… fro… tofu!”
“You hear that?” Cadence asked.
“That’s Prince Vegeta’s voice,” Celestia snorted.
“But who is he shouting at? It has to be far away for how garbled it is,” a unicorn guard said.
Celestia's face screamed even if her voice did not. “Oh no. The Changelings.”
She galloped off leaving everyone in her dust.
~~***~~
“Aaaaaand for the last time — No,” Vegeta said, accentuating his facial muscles for the word “No”. Vegeta turned to leave, “Seriously you guys are waaaaay too young for some of those answers.”
“If you don’t let us go, we’ll all scream and alert the guards!” he heard a foal say.
Vegeta walked over to the cell and saw a peach filly with gold hair. “I can assure you half pint, I’ve left no one capable of hearing you scream on my search. And what makes you think I won’t do the same for the rest of you if you try that stunt?”
Vegeta was surprised by the reaction of the cell. He can’t help but feel a small twinge of pride at all the foals glaring at him. Then he remembers why he feels that twinge.
He sighed, “Look… when I was your age… I was locked up too. And I know how you feel to be left behind like this. But if I release you all, all that’ll accomplish is most of us getting recaptured and whatever you have been suffering until now will be more than doubled. Now two people are easier to escape than twenty. And when we do, I give you my word I will get help and come back for you. It won’t be immediate, but once I return to my country, my warriors will be more than willing to return.”
“Your country? Your warriors?” the filly said skeptically.
Vegeta lowered his hood revealing his horn and spread his wings to the collective gasps of the children. Vegeta walked forward to show the others. Then he straightened his cloak.
“You’re all bandaged up?” another foal asked.
“Let’s just say Celestia isn’t too fond of me,” Vegeta said, “As hard as it is. Do not lose hope. Tomorrow will always be better… one must believe. Now I’ve lingered too long as it is…”
“But Mr. Alicorn…”
Vegeta walked over to the original brown foal.
“Please… the chains hurt.” He extended his front leg showing the green glow around the shackles. Then the glow spikes and lightning sparks across the foal’s body as he screams.
Vegeta took up the keys, “Fine. But remember you are on your own.” He unlocked the door and entered the cell. He began testing the keys on the foal’s shackles. “I’ll leave these keys with you. I cannot stay any longer.”
The fifth key unlocked the first shackle, the others soon followed.
Vegeta dropped the keys at the foal’s feet and began to walk out of the cell. Then he was hit from behind. He landed hard sideways against the opposite cell and could feel his ribs pop. He was in no pain, but he also could not breathe. He blacked out.
~~***~~
“We shouldn’t have done that.”
Vegeta opened his eyes. He was chained up in a cell, still in the bug section by the smell. Vegeta saw lots of black ponies with insect wings in the hallway.
“Well I was right about the fangs,” he thought.
“Are you talking back to me, pawn?” said another. Then it flashed in green flame and turned into a white royal knight. Others soon followed.
“These must be the Changelings Dash mentioned,” Vegeta thought. He started quietly melting the new shackles.
“He offered us an alliance against Celestia. Now we’ve destroyed that chance,” the unchanged Changeling said.
“He offered that thinking we were children. Do you think he would have kept it after he found out?” one that had become a lime green pegasus said.
“We could have turned back into foals when his ponies storm the prison. How would they have found out beforehand?” the black bug continued to protest.
“Drones are not born to think,” the white knight growled, lowering his horn.
“You’re a drone too, just a higher ranking one.”
Suddenly the changeling was wrapped in a green glow and was thrown against the crystal wall. Then the white knight charged, stabbing him with his horn.
“Hey!”
The changelings turned and saw Vegeta standing.
“Thank you for letting us out,” the white knight came over, “And with the ruckus you’ve probably caused, we can join the search for you then slip out when no pony is looking.”
“Where is your country that you’ve never heard of Changelings?” another laughed.
“I could say the same for you,” Vegeta glared. He had already severed the chains. Now he melted the lock. “Tricking a Saiyan is usually the last mistake someone makes.”
“That coming from a pony locked up with so many magical locks you can’t even do a card trick,” the white knight chuckled. He turned his back. “Alright, everyone spread out. Look for guards and join the search.”
Vegeta waited until they were out of sight before he calmly trotted over and opened the door.
“Hey la cucarachas?” they heard as the light brightened behind them to well past daylight.
They turned around and saw Vegeta standing in the hallway. He was holding two balls of light under his open wings. He reared up. “Your asses are mine!”
~~***~~
Cadence managed to catch up with Celestia. “Changelings? Since when do you have changeling prisoners?”
“Run now. Talk later.” Celestia gasped.
Then a bright light came from the direction of the changelings’ corridor. Fire and smoke exploded in all directions and Celestia and Cadence slid to a stop.
“Princesses!” the guards shouted, running into the smoke.
The smoke quickly dissipated as Celestia and Cadence cleared the air with their powerful wings. A wind spell quickly added oxygen back to the air.
“What was that?” Cadence asked, coughing.
“Vegeta’s fire spell no doubt,” Celestia coughed, “We've got no time to waste.”
~~***~~
A changeling woke up and felt like it was in a bag. Then it realized it was.
“Don’t struggle. You’re hurt.” It heard a familiar voice.
“What are you doing with me?!” it squealed.
Vegeta sighed and placed the wrapped-up cape on the ground. The changeling rolled free.
“You! You killed my brothers and sisters!”
“After they killed you,” Vegeta said flatly. “Look at your side.”
The changeling looked and saw it was wrapped in white bandages.
“Those bandages both heal and numb pain. But you’re still stabbed,” Vegeta began to walk off, “You’re on your own now. That second cape is yours.”
“Where did you get these?” it asked.
Vegeta raised his wing lifting up the cape. One of his front legs was missing its wrapping. He then lowered it and walked off with a visible limp.
~~***~~
The group came to the Changeling cell block. All the lights had been knocked out by the blast.
“Oh the smell,” Cadence said, covering her nose.
“That is not the smell of burnt meat,” Celestia said. She took a step forward but stepped on something crunchy under her hoof. She stepped back and lit her horn, but quickly wished she hadn’t.
The hollowed-out burnt husks of the changelings lay crumbled about. A leg here, two horns together over there. Nothing resembling a complete corpse anywhere.
The guards and Cadence took a step back at the carnage. Celestia however stood her ground. She used the wind spell to clear the air, then lit the magic lamps. “This was not the hallway they were imprisoned in,” Celestia said as she began to walk down the hall. “They must have tricked Prince Vegeta into releasing them, then he… he retaliated.”
Celestia walked to an open gate, “This was their prison.”
The others were relieved that there were no body parts here. The lamps were even still lit. Celestia looked into every cell.
“Here!” she shouted. Celestia lowered her horn to override the lock’s anti-magic seal. “It’s… unlocked?”
Celestia opened the door and she walked in. Cadence was next.
The guards were laid out orderly, with what looked like great care.
Celestia’s shoulders sank. “They are all alive,” she said exhausted, “Thank goodness…”
“All head injuries again,” Cadence said, “Medics hurry and heal them.”
“All other cells in this block are clear,” a guard said, saluting.
“Good,” Celestia said, “Princess Cadence, come with me. We must find Vegeta.”
Cadence passed Celestia as she raced to leave the torched hallway.
Celestia looked up and down the main hall, “He can’t be far away now.”
“Princess Celestia, how… how could you not react to that?” Cadence asked, still in shock.
Celestia sighed, “Like I said before, I have seen much.” Celestia raised her head. “We need to keep our minds on the objective at hand,” she said in her normal tone, “Our hearts cannot afford to bleed just yet.”
~~***~~
The changeling carefully peeked around a corner, and was completely startled back on his haunches. “It’s… It’s the entrance!” he thought, “That alicorn… carried me here?”
“Who’s there?!” ordered one of the guards in the hallway.
The changeling turned into a brown guard. It took a deep breath and trotted forward. It saluted, “Sirs! Princess Celestia requests five more medics and the awakening of Princess Luna. She has also asked that I inform the guards watching the daughter of what has transpired and join them in relocating her, but in her haste, she neglected the location.”
The guard took charge, “Firecracker, go get the medics. Saber Rattler, go inform Princess Luna’s guards to awaken her.” He turned back to the changeling, “The daughter is being kept in a guest room above.”
One guard ran off and hung a right at the top of the stairs. The other hung a left.
“Well, 50/50 shot then,” it thought.
It saluted, then walked up the steps. It turned left.
No one called out.
It kept the same form for several hallways until it came to a quiet spot. It changed one more time, then walked in the opposite direction.
Chapter 10: Far from the Tree
Chapter 10: Far from the Tree
“Are you sure we couldn’t have come back sooner?” Fluttershy asked, “Princess Celestia said 30 minutes; it’s been 45.”
Twilight took the doorknob in her magic, “She said at least 30 minutes. Besides, if I said something even remotely like that, Cadence would have me in timeout way more than thirty minutes.” She opened the door, and they could still hear the water running. Including the toilet.
The five walked over and Twilight opened the door, “Bulla, we’re back.”
Bulla was nowhere in sight.
“How is the toilet still running?” Twilight ran over.
Rainbow Dash flew over and lifted the lid.
Fluttershy looked in. She gasped.
“She propped the flap open with a tube of toothpaste so it continued to run!” she shouted softly.
“Bulla?!” Twilight ran frantically around the bathroom. She stuck her head in the linen closet, “Bulla?” She stuck her head under the shower curtains, “Bulla?” She stuck her head under the bath rug, “Bulla?”
She ran out of the bathroom, “Bulla!”
“Twilight let’s just calm down,” Applejack said as the rest of them walked out of the bathroom.
“Calm down?” Twilight came out from under the bed, “We just lost a foreign princess!”
Rainbow Dash flew over to the wardrobe and opened the doors, “She’s probably playing hide and seek somewhere enjoying us freaking out.”
“Or she could just be passed out from crying somewhere,” Fluttershy said, opening the closet door.
Ten minutes later…
“Or she could be completely missing,” Twilight said as the five of them sat in the middle of the turned-over room.
~~***~~
“Oh, how could she have escaped? Celestia locked the door from the outside,” Twilight said, pacing a rut into the floor, “She doesn’t know magic, and it’s not like she can climb the walls.”
“Oh you mean like this?”
Everyone looked over and saw Pinkie Pie walking up the wall, then hang upside-down from the ceiling.
“How the corn husks are you doing that?” Applejack asked.
“What? You girls never seen her walk on the ceiling before?” Rainbow Dash flew up to her.
“No!” Twilight shouted.
“It’s easy peezy,” Pinkie said, “I figured it out foalsitting the twins. All you’re doing is picking stuff up with your hooves, except instead of a comb it’s the ceiling!”
Twilight gasped and ran to the French doors to the balcony.
“Oh, no no no no,” she burst out onto the balcony. She looked out onto the garden, and saw at least a hundred children running amuck.
“Where did all these kids come from?” Rainbow Dash asked.
Twilight flew down and was immediately greeted by shouts of “Princess Twilight!” and awe-struck children— for about 10 seconds.
Twilight tried to gently push through the mob of foals all pelting her with questions that merged into incoherent screeching, but found herself thoroughly trapped.
“Children!” a yellow earth pony mare with a teddy bear cutie mark began pushing through.
All the children fell silent and backed away.
“My apologies Princess Twilight,” the mare bowed.
“What is all this? Where did all these children come from?” Twilight asked, failing at her attempt to hide her panic.
“Today’s Children’s Day at the palace, your Majesty,” she said surprised.
“Is that today?” Twilight stepped in place spinning in circles, “Oh no no no no no. That means there’s at least a thousand children in the palace.”
“Are you all right, princess?” she asked.
Twilight gets in her face, “Have you seen a little white unicorn with blue hair and no cutie mark named Bulla?!”
The stunned mare took a step back, “No… I haven’t.”
While Twilight started spinning again, Fluttershy flew down along with Rainbow Dash carrying Applejack. Pinkie Pie, however, was left shouting back on the balcony.
“Umm,” Fluttershy said landing next to the mare, “Princess Bulla is kinda the daughter of an important foreign dignitary and she’s kinda missing.”
“Oh dear…” the mare said, “I’ll tell the chaperones to keep an eye out for her and to alert the guards…”
“No, not the guards!” Twilight got in her face again, “Princess Celestia can’t know how much I’ve royally screwed up!”
Applejack shook her head. “Sorry, sugarcube. But there’s no hiding this one. Not with all these young’uns here.”
Twilight slumped on the grass, “Ooooo, Princess Celestia is never going to trust me again…”
“In my experience,” the mare began, “When a child misbehaves, there is always a motive. And the way to stop a child from repeating that behavior is to solve that motive. What does this little girl want that would require sneaking away? Did she want to explore the castle and was told no? Or did she want to come outside and play? Or…”
The four looked at each other and gasped, “Her father!”
Applejack took two steps towards a door before turning her head, “Come on y'all, we got a munchkin’ to corral.”
~~***~~
“And what’s this way?”
The guard/tour guide sighed, frustrated. He turned around and marched through the other children to confront the white unicorn. “Look young filly, you can’t be asking ‘What’s that way’ at every hallway and interrupting the tour for everyone else.”
“But I wanna know.” She gave puppy dog eyes.
“No,” he said, turning around.
“If you answer one more question, I promise I won’t say a peep the rest of the tour!” she said.
The guard sighed, “Fine.” He turned around, “What is it?”
“How do you get to the dungeons? Every castle has really cool dungeons full of amazingly awesome giant spiders and stuff like that.”
The guard cocked an eyebrow. “You like spiders?”
“Yeah!” she jumped up in the air, “Nightmare Night is my favorite most bestest holiday ever.” The unicorn smiled as big as she could and batted her eyelashes.
The guard groaned annoyed and rolled his eyes, “Three hallways back and to the left is the guards’ section of the palace. The entrance is there. And I can assure you young lady, unlike whatever fantasies Nightmare Night has put in your head, there are no spiders. The guards work very hard to keep it clean.”
The guard gave a self-satisfied smirk seeing the little filly collapse on the floor sulking. “Now as you promised, no more interruptions.”
The white filly nodded slowly as she stood.
The guard walked forward and continued talking as they advanced. The other children soon stopped looking at the white filly as she trotted along in the rear, hanging her head in disappointment.
No one noticed her not turning the corner with them.
~~***~~
Bulla was now walking on the ceiling heading back the way she came, smiling ear to ear and her chest stuck out in pride. “Ha!” she thought, “Mommy will be so proud I’m turning into a big girl. I did it just like she does.”
Bulla quickly tired and found a place in the rafters at the intersection. “This is harder than I thought…” she thought.
She glanced down the hallway leading into the guards’ section. It had no rafters or any ceiling decoration. Clean and simple.
“No places to hide.”
With some combination of exhaustion and patience, Bulla remained in place.
She saw guards come and go.
Then she could barely stop herself from screaming when she saw Princess Cadence with Celestia.
Seven minutes later Celestia’s scream almost knocked her from the rafters.
“Owie…” she said, putting her hooves to her ears. Then she shook her head trying to stop the ringing.
“What did she say?” Bulla tried to think through the headache. “Whe…re is… ?”
Bulla bounded to her hooves. “Daddy’s out of his cell!” she thought. Then she slumped back down. “Eh oh… but what did Daddy do to get out of his cell…”
She thought back to the goats.
She started to whimper.
~~***~~
The five rushed through the halls, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flying ahead. Twilight, however, had decided it would be faster for her to run.
“Hey,” Rainbow Dash shouted down, “There’s a bunch of kids up ahead.” She zipped forward and landed in front of the group.
“What are you doing? Get out of the way,” the unicorn guard ordered.
“Wait! Sir guard,” Twilight shouted from behind.
“Princess Twilight?” The guard bowed as the rest of the group caught up.
The children quickly exploded into questions again.
“Have you seen or heard anything about a white unicorn filly with blue hair and no cutie mark named Bulla?!” Twilight asked over the noise, “She’s a daughter of an important foreign dignitary and we think she has sneaked away to be with the other kids.”
“No, your Majesty I haven’t.”
“You mean that pony that climbed down the wall in the garden?” a blue foal asked, raising his hoof.
Twilight spun around, “Yes! You know where she is?”
“No, I just saw her climb down,” he said lowering his leg, “I was too far away.”
“I saw her too!” a red filly said, “She was near the big doors the adults took us through to start showing us the castle.”
“How long has she been missing?” the guard asked.
“Forty-five minutes to an hour max,” Twilight said.
“Then she would have been in one of the first tours,” the guard said unrolling a map of the palace. “Let’s see here,” he mumbled. “Ah,” he lowered the map for Twilight to see. The others gathered around.
“There are four separate routes for the tours, each marked with a color. I’m the first repeat of the red line.”
“So we have four locations to check?” Pinkie Pie bounced, “Easy Peezy.”
“Except they are moving targets,” Twilight said loudly, “And this doesn’t tell us where they are!”
“All the paths are designed to keep the groups fifteen minutes apart while covering the same ground,” the guard said, “The first group should be reaching the stained glass hallway any minute now. And all the first groups will be there in the next hour.”
“The throne room? Oh…” Twilight sighed.
“Princess Celestia was going to find out sooner or later,” Fluttershy comforted.
“I wanted to find her before she found out!”
Rainbow Dash crossed her front legs, “Well we’re not going to find her talking about it, let’s go!” She flew off leaving a rainbow trail in her wake.
“It’s the other way!” Twilight shouted.
A rainbow streak promptly blew everyone’s hair back racing in the opposite direction.
~~***~~
“Princess Luna,” a blue earth pony mare in black armor came into the suite.
Luna was sleeping on the bed, twisted up in the covers.
“Princess Luna?” she came up to the bed.
Luna continued to snore.
“Princess Luna!” she shouted.
Not a twitch.
The guard sighed and took a box from under the bed. It has a big red button…
The earsplitting air horn quickly had Luna screaming and flailing on the floor.
“Princess Luna,” the guard walked over to the other side of the bed, “Prince Vegeta has escaped his cell. Princess Celestia requests your assistance in his recapture.” She promptly dodged the pillow as Luna moaned in protest.
It took several minutes for her brain to process the information.
“Prince Vegeta is loose?!” She tried to stand but she was hopelessly tangled in the sheets. After struggling for several attempts, she groaned and lit up her horn. The sheets vanished then reappeared in a pile on the bed. Luna ran to the door, “Tell me everything you know on the way.”
“The solar guard is outside,” her guard saluted.
~~***~~
“Seriously? That’s all our sister said?” Luna asked, surprised.
“Yes Princess, the message was to wake you, deploy five more medics, and move the child,” Saber Rattler said, running next to her.
“This doesn’t make sense. Why would Prince Vegeta try and escape in his condition? And why move Bulla? She’s in the completely opposite side of the palace. And with Princess Twilight and the Bearers.”
Suddenly Luna slid to a stop. “Wait, Prince Vegeta is literally at the entrance. But he’s gone farther in. And his only concern…”
Luna lit up her horn. She vanished in a burst of light.
~~***~~
Luna landed in front of Bulla’s room. She was surprised by the sound of running water coming from the partially open door.
“Princess Twilight? Girls?” she said, poking her head into the room. She saw the mess.
Luna ran inside screaming “Bulla?! Girls?!”
She ran into the bathroom, “Why is the water running?” She turned around and checked the dressing room and walk-in closet, “Girls?”
Luna burst back into the hallway. “GUARDS!” her Canterlot voice rattled windows throughout the building.
Twenty soldiers quickly scrambled from their nearby posts and rushed towards Luna’s scream.
“Princess,” each guard saluted as they slid to a stop on the marble floors.
“Where is Princess Bulla, Twilight, and her friends?” she demanded.
“I haven’t seen them,” one guard said.
“They passed by me twice,” another said pointing the way she came, “Once leaving this direction, then returning, but that was a little over a half hour ago.”
“Princess Celestia escorted the Bearers past me an hour and a half ago,” a guard said pointing in the opposite direction, “Then she returned without them with another guard that had just run past me a short time later.”
“Do you know what the messenger wanted?” Luna asked.
“No Ma’am,” he said.
“And do any of you know anything about this?” Luna said, stepping aside.
The guards gasped and rushed into the room.
“Then you know nothing of this?” Luna said disappointed, stepping into the room after them.
All the guards turned back to the center of the room from where they ran and gave a negative to Luna.
Luna stood straight, “Alert the rest of the guards and tell Princess Celestia what’s happened. I’m headed to the throne room. If you find out anything, report to me immediately.”
Luna vanished again.
~~***~~
Luna flashed into the throne room startling the staff.
“Princess Luna? What are you doing up this time of day?” one of the guards walked up from the throne.
“Princess Bulla is missing and her room ransacked,” she said, “Do you know anything about it?”
“No, your Majesty,” he said, surprised. “Do you want to deploy guards?”
“Already have. Do you know the location of Princess Twilight and the Bearers?”
“No Ma’am,” he shook his head.
“Do you know…”
Suddenly the large doors opened and a group of bounding foals ran into the room followed by a clearly frazzled guard.
“Princess Luna!” a foal shouted pointing. All the other children turned to look, then quickly stampeded and surrounded her and the guard. They quickly began shouting over each other.
Luna raised her hoof. “One at a time, children,” she said over them, “W-eye cannot tell one voice from another when you are all talking at once.”
The children quickly fell silent and all raised their right hooves like in a classroom. Luna noticed their guardian standing there wide-eyed and mouth open. She giggled, then returned to the children.
“So then, let’s start with you little one,” she pointed at the foal right in front of her, “What is your question?”
“What are you doing up? I thought you were the night princess,” he asked.
About three-fourths of the children momentarily dropped their hooves at the question before raising them again thinking of a new one.
“To tell the truth, we are looking for a little white unicorn filly named Bulla. I know there are many foals here for Children’s Day, but have any of you seen her?”
“Is she Spiderpony’s daughter?” one colt wearing a Spiderpony t-shirt asked, “I saw a white pony with blue hair walk on the walls but nopony believes me.”
“Where was this?” Luna asked.
“Out in the garden. She came down from a window. I tried to go up to her but then the adults pushed us inside for the tour.”
“That must be her,” Luna thought, “Her room overlooks the gardens.” “She is not Spiderpony’s daughter, but I would not be surprised…”
A rainbow streaked into the throne room followed by a large blast of wind. It knocked several hats off the foals.
“Princess Luna? What are you doing up?” Rainbow Dash said hovering above her.
“Rainbow Dash. What do you know of Princess Bulla’s disappearance and her ransacked room?” Luna demanded.
“We turned the room over thinking she was hiding from us,” Rainbow Dash said, “but then we found out she climbed out the window. ‘Though judging from this group of kids, she’s not in this group.”
“You believe she’s hiding in the tours?” Luna asked.
“Yeah a bunch of kids saw her leave with one of the first groups. With this group eliminated, that makes three more to go.”
“See! I told you!” the Spiderpony colt said. He then took a deep breath and let out a long raspberry.
“I take it you saw her too, huh?” Rainbow Dash crossed her front legs.
“Yes ma’am,” he said proudly.
The others galloped into the room.
“Oh no, Princess Luna’s here,” Twilight said, “Why is Princess Luna here?”
“Well at least it’s not Princess Celestia,” Fluttershy said.
“Hey guys,” Rainbow Dash flew over to them, “She’s not in this group.”
Luna lowered her head softly asking the children to part ways. They moved and Luna walked out of the circle. She looked at the throne room guard and nodded her head sideways. The guard understood and followed her as she trotted over to the tour guide. “Come with me,” she said softly.
Then they heard a soft thunder of footsteps. The three turned around and saw the children stop in their tracks. After several rounds of Red Light, Green Light, Luna and the two guards gave up and finished the short distance to the girls.
“Ok,” they overheard Twilight say, “Since she’s not with the red group, the next group to turn into the hallway will be the green.”
“Forgive me, princess, but we are the green group,” the tour guard said.
“What?!” Twilight says, “There’s already been two groups through here?”
“These children were the first to arrive,” the throne room guard said confused, “I also thought you were the Red 1, just twenty minutes late.”
“Do you think Bulla could be the reason they are late?” Fluttershy asked.
“If she asked a bunch of questions she could,” Pinkie Pie said, “I remember lots of times I held up field trips by asking tons of questions like…”
Applejack quickly took an apple from under her hat and shoved it into Pinkie’s mouth. “Emergency Rambling Apple,” she smiled, straightening her hat.
“Do you have a map like the other guard did?” Twilight asked.
The guard pulled out the map. Twilight took it in her magic. She raised her hoof up and ran it along the paper. “Ok, I know where to go,” she said, rolling it up. She gave it back to the guard.
“I’m coming with you,” Luna said sternly.
“Awe~!” all the children whined in unison.
Luna turned around, “I’m sorry children, but like I said before, I am looking for a girl named Bulla. I am not part of this tour. But if you children behave, I may decide to attend the Children’s Party later this afternoon.” Luna could almost swear she saw halos appear above their heads as they straightened up and formed lines.
“Okey Dokey Lokey!” Pinkie said, finally chewing through the apple, “Let’s go!”
The group entered the hallway and Luna closed the door with her magic.
“Princess Luna,” Twilight asked respectfully, “Why are you still looking for Bulla now that you know she is in no danger?”
“Because Prince Vegeta has escaped his cell,” Luna said sternly.
“What?!” everyone screamed. Even Fluttershy, in her own way.
“Prince Vegeta’s cell was well in sight of the entrance, but he has gone farther in. W…I believe he is looking for her, thinking she is in there as well. Bringing Bulla to him will go far to defusing the situation.”
“Then what are we waiting for?” Rainbow Dash revved up, only to screech to a stop shortly past the group. A new tour group had rounded the corner into the stained glass hallway.
Luna’s longer legs quickly placed her a close second to Rainbow Dash in the race down the hall.
The tour guard bug-eyed for a quick moment before quickly shouting, “Against the wall! Make way for the princess!”
And of course, the children quickly respond by running into the center of the hallway to get a look.
Luna slid to a stop as Rainbow Dash got into the guard’s face.
“Is this the Red 1 group?” she demanded.
“Yes, yes it is,” he said as the rest of the girls caught up.
Luna walked forward, “We are looking for a white unicorn filly with blue hair and no mark.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash said scanning the group, “And she’s probably been pestering you with lots of questions.”
“I definitely have the girl you are looking for,” he said, turning around to face the children. “All right now, step forward!” he ordered.
All the children just looked at each other.
“Oh no, she ain’t here,” Applejack shook her head, “Now what?”
The guard glanced over the group, “That’s impossible! I’ve been counting 20 this whole time.”
“Princess Bulla would not be in your number,” Luna said, “She has evaded her caretakers for nearly an hour and a half now.”
“Princess…?” the guard stuttered while his face was screaming “I’m dead .”
“Please,” Twilight walked forward, “You’re not in trouble. Just when was the last time you saw her?”
“After pestering me with meaningless questions for nearly a half hour, she said she would stop asking questions as long as I told her where the dungeons were. She said she wanted to see the spiders like during Nightmare Night.”
“And you told her how to get there?” Rainbow Dash crossed her front legs.
“She didn’t run off. She just whimpered when I told her there were no spiders then followed along with the rest of the group.” He turned from the princesses to the kids, “Did any of you kids see her disappear and not tell me?” he barked.
“No sir!” they all say clearly frightened.
Luna stood straight, “Princess Twilight. I want you to teleport with me. I need the rest of you girls to head back towards Princess Bulla’s room and inform the guards she has been located and all is well.” She turned her head to the tour guard, “Do not fear. No punishment is heading your way.”
Luna’s horn lit up and she vanished in a flash of magic. Twilight quickly followed.
~~***~~
Luna landed in front of the gate to the dungeon.
“Princess,” the guards saluted. One pegasus walked forward, “The medics have already gone ahead.”
Suddenly Twilight flashed into existence next to her.
“Princess Twilight?” he asked as they all saluted, “Have you come to assist in the recapture of Prince Vegeta?”
“Actually we’re looking for his daughter…” Twilight said.
Luna’s eyes widened as she twisted her head to look behind her.
“… Last we heard she was wandering towards here. Has she been seen?”
“Negative, your Majesty. We have not left our posts. Perhaps if you visit the Guard… Princess Luna, where are you going?”
Twilight turned and saw Luna walking back up the steps.
She and the guard followed her up the corridor. Then she turned left.
“Princess Luna, the guard’s station is the other way,” he said.
Luna completely ignored him and continued trotting at a swift pace.
Twilight had to run to catch up with the long-legged alicorn. “What is it?”
“Bulla has fallen asleep. She’s close by.”
“Princess Luna?” the pegasus flies up, “What about dark mage?”
“His daughter is near. That will end things,” she said.
“But Princess Celestia gave the order to assume the worst and act accordingly,” he said, “Do you really want to endanger a child? Or have her see… well, ‘the worst’.”
Luna skid to a stop. Then vanished in a flash of light.
Luna zapped into the intersection startling the passing tour. The guard stumbled on his butt, “Princess Luna? What are you doing awake?”
Luna ignored him and glanced about, then looked up. They saw her take to the air and fly into the rafters. Then were surprised when she returned with a limp white unicorn foal in her magic. “Pardon us,” she said before the two vanished.
Luna flashed back where she was. Twilight and the guard were looking back and forth at the next intersection. “Princess Twilight! And guard!” she called out.
The two turned around and ran back towards them.
Luna laid her down and began poking Bulla gently with her horn, “Time to wake up, Bulla. If you want to see your daddy.”
Bulla did not move.
Luna tried a little harder and louder.
This time she squirmed, but only repositioned herself.
Twilight could see Luna was not amused. Then she saw her take a deep breath. “Wait,” she said, grabbing the guard’s tail. He looked down at her and saw her duck, putting her hooves in her ears.
Suddenly, a scream ripped through the palace.
It knocked the wind out of Luna.
Bulla jolted awake jumping halfway to the ceiling.
The screams continued. Ones of blind terror. Getting closer and closer to the gate of the dungeon. Then the screamer entered the corridor. The voice was unmistakably a mare’s now, but despite losing the amplification of the echoing dungeon, had the strength of a large stallion’s.
Celestia slid around the corner. Slipping on the marble, she slammed into the wall of the T-intersection. Celestia scrambled to her hooves and charged forward. Looking behind her as she intaked for her next scream, she plowed right into Luna — who had not so innocently stepped into her path.
Luna wrapped her front legs around her sister’s neck and getting on top of her, pinned her wings. “Sister? Sister!”
Luna saw in her eyes what she never thought possible, fear. Real fear. Like how many countless ponies ran in the opposite direction while the two of them charged forward over the long eons.
Luna’s purple magic enveloped Celestia’s head. She stopped struggling and slumped down. But she still heard screaming.
She turned and saw Twilight and the pegasus comforting Bulla. Luna looked back and saw the gate guards running around the corner shouting “Princess Celestia”. The scream had gotten the attention of the guard’s station and more were entering the hallway.
Luna stepped forward. “I will care for Princess Celestia!” she said loudly, but short of her Canterlot voice, “Head into the dungeon and assist the ponies there!”
The soldiers saluted and turned towards the dungeons. Luna turned and looked down at Celestia.
She was crying in her sleep.
Chapter 11: Pax
“HE DID WHAT?!” the girls shouted.
Twilight turned pale, but had the presence of mind to teleport a trash basket in front of her. Which was quickly filled.
Bulla was shaking like a maraca, “Is that a really bad ouchie?”
The group was in a debriefing room in the critical care wing of the army hospital, still well within the guard section of the palace.
The army doctor, a gray unicorn in green scrubs with a white shield emblazoned with a red cross, nodded, “Normally very much so. But Princess Cadence was there. Love is the most powerful of healing magics. Her immediate care has given him a much better chance of normality.”
Twilight took her head out of the basket. “He broke his own horn off?!” she said groggily, “Why would he break his own horn?! That doesn’t make any sense?!”
“Twilight,” Fluttershy scolded, putting her wing over Bulla’s back. She pulled her in close.
“Why don’t we take the youngin’ out for some treats,” Applejack said, “Notin’ we can do here but get in the way.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash said. She tapped Fluttershy’s wing so Bulla could feel it through the feathers. “Come on kid, let’s go grab some grub.”
Fluttershy looked under her wing and smiled softly, “Let’s let your daddy rest. We can go have another tea party like you did this morning. Would you like that?”
Bulla nodded, sniffling.
“Ok then,” she said sweetly, “Let’s get going.”
“Oh! Oh! I know exactly where we can go!” Pinkie Pie said, running out the door.
The four exited, with Bulla remaining tucked under Fluttershy’s wing.
After the door closed, the doctor hung his head and let out a held breath.
“Oh no…” Twilight took her head back out of the basket, “Why did you sigh like that? Why did you make that sound?”
The doctor went to speak when the door opened.
“Princess Luna,” the doctor bowed.
“How’s Princess Celestia?” Twilight asked.
“Was the princess injured?” the doctor looked between Twilight and Luna wide-eyed.
“No,” Luna said curtly, “All is well.”
“What is Prince Vegeta’s condition?” she said in her normal voice, “Also, is Princess Cadence still with Prince Vegeta? If not, can you tell me her location Doctor… umm?”
“Captain Spearchucker, your Majesty,” he bows, “Neurosurgeon. Come with me.”
The trio exited through a second door into another hallway. They walked through the unadorned hallway and entered the fifth door on the right.
Luna and Twilight both put their right hooves to their mouths.
Vegeta was on a ventilator.
The dark alicorn was once again on his left side, the tube from surgery still down his throat. Cadence is next to the bed near the ventilator, the tip of her horn almost touching his. Her blue glow was mostly focused on the head. Other than that, Vegeta was wrapped like a mummy like before. But as they trot closer to the bed they see it was actually a cast. His eyes are also blindfolded.
“The ventilator is just a precaution,” Captain Spearchucker said walking next to Cadence, “Other than rebreaking his previous ribs, he has added three more to the equation. He also had pneumothorax on the right side…”
Luna glanced at Twilight.
“Collapsed lung,” she whispered.
“… Normally that would be his most serious injury. But then there is the broken horn. I believe the manacle gave him the leverage to break the horn at such a low point. He exposed the pulp but the merlin nerve did not sever at that point. But broke along the tertiary branching higher in the matrix, meaning the nerves have the capacity to heal and reconnect, but any permanent damage cannot be judged until physical therapy. Which considering his element, I doubt will be ordered anytime soon.”
Luna lowered her head, pointing her horn at Vegeta.
“How long until his sedation wears off?” Twilight asked.
“You have him in a coma? Or is that from the injury?” Luna said, lifting her head.
“Originally from the injury, but we’ve been able to gain control of his neural pathways. It will still be a few hours to avoid brain swelling. Even with the princess’s magic, procedure is procedure.”
“Are you going to be alright, Cadence?” Twilight asked, concerned.
“I’ll be fine,” Cadence smiled, “This isn’t an entire empire.”
“If you want more detail on his other injuries, you will need to talk with Captain Hawkeye,” Captain Spearchucker says, “Anything outside the brain and I’m dead.”
Luna looked at all the monitors and wires, “How safe is it for you to leave his side, Captain? We need to talk to Princess Cadence alone.”
Captain Spearchucker also turned to the monitors. “We have been checking on him every ten minutes. The nurses every five. But he has proven completely stable,” he turned to the clock, “I will tell the nurses to delay their next round. That will give you eight minutes before we must check him again.”
After going over Vegeta one more time, the doctor left the room.
“So how is Princess Celestia?” Cadence asked.
“A nervous wreck,” Luna said, visibly worried, “We’ve never seen her like this before. She’s just hiding under her blanket sobbing into her pillow. It’s been hours and we hasth not gotten a word from her.” She hung her head, “We hasth seen her cry before, but she hasth never not gazed upon us nor kept secret the reasons for her tears.” She looks back up at Cadence, “What happened down there?”
Twilight saw Vegeta’s ear flick forward towards Cadence, but writes it off as random.
Cadence sighed, “Well… Princess Celestia… When we first arrived at his cell… I never saw her panic like that before. Vegeta had overcome all the anti-magic devices and armor of the guards. She was just pacing back and forth mumbling. Then she spun around… It was like she was glaring down Queen Crystalis… She ordered to always expect the worse and act accordingly.”
Luna gasped, “She sanctioned the death of the prince?”
Twilight saw Vegeta’s whole body twitch. She glanced at the monitors, but wrote it off as an unusual coincidence. “It’s not like he’s Pinkie Pie,” she thought, watching the unmoved lines.
“That does not explain our dear sister’s behavior,” Luna said after a long pause. She looked at Vegeta, “And we both hasth seen many broken horns, and the cause of many. Why…”
“Prince Vegeta snapped his own horn off,” Cadence cut Luna off.
Luna grimaced, “He did what?!
“Cadence, what happened?” Twilight asked, her voice quivering.
“Well…”
Cadence and Celestia came to another dead end.
Celestia sighed frustrated, “Augh! We have searched these halls long enough to do it twice over. Where could he be?”
“Hello, Sunshine,” came a sarcastic voice.
Celestia spun around, “You!” She lit up her horn.
“Princess Celestia, wai…” Cadence said.
But Celestia fired her golden beam. The cloaked pony dodged, but the magic became caught in the crystal tiles and ricocheted about the hall until Celestia and Cadence needed to duck as it impacted the stone wall behind them.
The cloaked figure stood from crouching on the floor. “So… that’s what these crystals are for.”
“Prince Veget…”
“Quiet Princess Cadence,” Celestia ordered. She lit up her horn again, “Do you really think luring us into a dead end corridor will give you an advantage?” Celestia’s horn brightened further, “I can guarantee you have underestimated your opponent.”
The cloaked pony backed up. “Now hold it right there, Princess… I’m…”
“And you have overestimated your own position. Your one weakness is as clear as day.”
Prince Vegeta lowered his head and took a charging position. “What have you done to my daughter?! I told you before, I will not tolerate any harm to her!”
“His daughter?” Cadence thought, “Is this what it’s…”
Celestia’s horn prepared to fire.
“Celestia! Wait!” Cadence shouted.
Celestia let loose a blinding flash. Cadence barely had time to cover her eyes.
When she uncovered them, Vegeta was a heap on the floor with Celestia standing over him with a self-satisfied look on her face.
“What did you do?!”
“Anti-enchantment spell,” she said, “With his injuries, the only reason he was not immobile was the anti-pain spells in his wrappings.” She turned around and walked back to Cadence, “Go find the guards. It will take a lot of work to re-enchant these cells and I…”
“Hold it right there, Sunshine.”
Celestia turned around and saw Vegeta coming to his hooves. A black mist began to form around him.
“I said— Where is my AHHHHH!”
Vegeta whinnied in pain as black magic erupted from his horn and began to encircle him. Soon he was not visible and the ball began to lift in the air.
Celestia’s eyes widened in fear and she began to scramble backwards. “No. No no no no no.” She slammed her rear into the wall. After several panicked breaths she steeled herself and lit up her horn.
Suddenly the screams stopped and the magic evaporated.
Vegeta’s body slammed into the floor so hard it bounced twice. The horncuff rolled towards them on the floor. Then something partially came out of it on the last few rolls.
Cadence looked up at Vegeta.
Blood was pouring from his forehead, and a blood-soaked gray rope laid limp across his face and on the floor.
Cadence trembled, “Did he just…?”
“Then Princess Celestia screamed and ran off,” Cadence finished.
Twilight spun in circles, “Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.”
“What is it, Princess Twilight? Do you know what troubles our sister so? We see nothing that…”
Twilight stopped spinning, “You don’t know?! Wait, of course you wouldn’t know. You were inside.”
“In…Inside what?” Luna asked, confused.
“When I drank Zecora’s potion and saw the Tree of Harmony, I also saw you transform into Nightmare Moon! You lost control of your magic and the darkness swirled around you and lifted you into the air!”
Luna gasped and took several panicked steps back.
Twilight looked back at Vegeta in time to see both his ear pin back.
“Wait a minute…” She trotted over next to Vegeta and studied him.
“What is it?” Cadence asked.
“You’re completely awake, aren’t you?!”
Vegeta’s body shuttered. Then, in what almost looked like defeat, his ears drooped and his head shifted slightly.
Luna walked over to the monitors. “This is part of your dream magic isn’t it?” she turned to him, “You can be awake while not triggering the monitors?”
Vegeta flopped his ear once.
“Was that meant as a yes? If so, flap thy ear three times,” Luna ordered.
Vegeta did.
Cadence gasped, “You weren’t awake during your surgery, were you?”
Vegeta flicked his ear twice.
“I’ll take that as a no,” Cadence said. “Do either of you know where his daughter is?”
“Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Applejack just took her to eat trying to take her mind off what Captain Spearchucker told us,” Twilight said.
Vegeta released an unnoticed tension and his head sunk deeper into the pillow. His heart line also twitched before returning to normal.
“We assume you heard what the captain said of your condition?” Luna asked.
Vegeta flipped his ear once.
“Then we ask of you to return to thy slumber,” Luna said, “It will be a few hours before you should be awakened and there is no sense for you to be awake while bounded so.”
Vegeta’s face muscles twitched into what they guessed looked like a grumpy expression without the ability to see half his face. He flapped his ear once before relaxing.
Luna looked at Twilight, “We will return to our sister’s side. With this new information, we should be able to comfort her better.” She left the room.
“You want some company Cadence?” Twilight asked.
Cadence chuckled, “No. I’ll be fine. Go help the others with the little filly.”
Twilight nodded, “All right. I’ll see you in a few hours.” She walked out.
Cadence took a deep breath, then refocused her magic on his head.
~~***~~
Luna returned to Celestia’s room. “I’m back, Tia,” she said walking into her bedroom.
Celestia was sobbing quietly on the bed.
“We just came from questioning Cadence,” she said walking over, “We know about the black vortex.”
Celestia glanced at Luna before returning her blank stare to the opposite wall.
“The doctors say the prince will be just fine, even the one who is responsible for his horn.”
Celestia responded by putting her face in the wet pillow.
Luna grabbed the pillow from Celestia.
She barely protested.
Luna gave her a new dry one and she buried her face in it.
Luna walked around the other side of the bed and pulled the blanket off Celestia. She then climbed in bed, placed her wing over her sister, and pulled the covers over them. “All is well Tia. All is well.”
~~***~~
“Hi there, Donut Joe!” Pinkie said, bounding into the shop.
The lunch rush had fizzled out, only leaving two unicorn families in the booths. One was a mother with a tiny child in a booster seat, her nursing blanket worn like a cape across her back and a gardener’s sun hat covering her head. The other was grandparents with two school-age foals.
“Pinkamina Diane Pie,” he smiled walking out from around the counter, “Haven’t seen you since the contest.”
The others walked in.
“And I see the rest of the gang is here too.” Then he saw Bulla shuffle in with a wet face looking at the ground.
“Eh oh,” he lowered his head down to Bulla’s level, “Hi there, what’s your name?”
“This is Bulla,” Fluttershy patted her with her wing, “Her daddy is in the hospital and she needs some cheering up.”
“Yep,” Pinkie Pie jumped, “And since we can’t take her to Sugarcube Corner, we brought her here!”
“Well, I might not be as good as a Pinkie party,” he stood straight. Then he smiled, “But I’ll do my best.” He turned around, “Come on girls, everything is on the house.”
“Yippee!” Pinkie cartwheeled over to the counter.
Donut Joe put his face into Pinkie Pie’s, “Only the first 20 bits for you.”
“Awe…” she sulked.
He walked behind the counter and pulled out four menus from one stack and a fifth from another. “Here you go ladies,” he handed the girls their menus, “four adult menus,” he gave one to Bulla, “And a kid’s menu for the guest of honor.” He smiled wide.
Bulla looked up at him, then back at the menu.
“Ya need help with that, Bulla?” Applejack asked.
“No I got it,” Bulla said as she struggled to open it.
Bulla quickly noticed it was different from the others. It was brightly colored with large pictures and words, while the adults’ had no pictures at all and normal size print.
Everyone’s smiles rose and faded in tandem with Bulla’s gasps and perked-up ears before returning to her depressed look as she looked over every menu item.
“See anything you like?” Donut Joe asked.
“Ummm…” Bulma thought. “This one,” she pointed at a picture of some donut holes covered in icing with one cut in half showing its yellow cake center.
“Right,” Donut Joe nodded and walked off, “Six donut holes coming up.”
The bell rang behind them signaling new customers entering the shop.
“That you Rainbow Dash?”
“It’s the Wonderbolts!” one of the foals shouted. The two children raced from their table with their grandparents yelling at them.
While the grandparents apologized for their overly enthusiastic children, Spitfire walked over to the group. “I thought that was you. Kinda hard to mistake that hair.”
“I didn’t know you ate here?” Rainbow Dash said.
“Soarin stumbled on this place last week after taking the wrong trolley. This is the first time the rest of us have been here.” Then she saw Bulla glance back at her with bloodshot eyes. She turned to her, “Hey there kid. What’s your name?”
“Bulla…” she said softly.
“Well hi there Bulla, I’m Spitfire of the Wonderbolts.”
Bulla smiled. “I know…” she said with no energy in her voice.
“Can I ask what’s eaten ya, kid?”
Bulla hung her head, “Daddy broke his horn. The doctor said it’s a bad ouchie.”
Spitfire’s eyes widened and her ears pinned back. Her jaw dropped.
The restaurant went silent at a loud bang.
“Sorry,” Donut Joe said, bending down behind the counter to pick up the tray he dropped.
“Oh wow kid,” Spitfire finally recovered, “Hey, how would you like to watch today’s track race from the pit with the team?”
Bulla’s face lit up much to Spitfire’s pleasure. She smiled.
“Sorry Spitfire,” Rainbow Dash said, “Maybe another day.”
“Awe….” Bulla whined.
Spitfire glared at Rainbow Dash. “Yeah, come on Rainbow Dash. What’s up?”
Rainbow Dash spun around on the bar stool, “Sorry but this little tike just had most of the palace guard looking for her for an hour after she sneaked out of her room. The second your back is turned, she’ll be off to find Rarity and Fancy Pants up in the stands.”
Spitfire turned to Bulla, “You’re staying at the palace? Is your father one of the guards?”
“Nope, this is Princess Bulla,” Pinkie said loudly, “She and her father have had a pretty rough couple days since they entered Equestria.”
The restaurant went silent a second time.
“Pinkie ya need to keep that big mouth shut,” Applejack snapped.
Everyone in the restaurant bowed, minus the baby in the highchair.
Rainbow Dash spun back to the counter, “Donut Joe, can we get our orders To Go? No one was supposed to know who she is.” She then glared at Pinkie Pie.
“Umm, Rainbow Dash, we haven’t ordered yet,” Fluttershy said.
Spitfire stood, “Want an escort? We may be Wonderbolts, but we are soldiers first.”
“Judging by Soarin’s face, I think you may want to eat first,” Rainbow Dash pointed.
Spitfire turned and saw Soarin with a puppy dog face and watering eyes. She looked at the floor in defeat. “Fine,” she said, turning back to Rainbow Dash. Then she turned to Bulla, “My offer for you to join us in the pit still stands. If your father is well by then, he is welcome as well.”
“And here are her Majesty’s donut holes,” Donut Joe said handing over a bag, “Gave you a full baker’s dozen to snack on. And the next time you girls are in here, it’ll still be free.”
Applejack tipped her hat, “Thank ya kindly.” Then she hopped down from her bar stool, “All right now. Let’s get back to the palace before the princesses have another conniption.”
Everyone bowed as the group left the shop, then the families returned to their seats. The Wonderbolts lined up at the counter.
“Awe mane…” Fleetfoot shook her head, “A foreign diplomat breaks his horn? That’s a crisis in the making.”
“Here’s your menus, Ladies and Gents,” Donut Joe passed them out.
“Yeah, that and the new dark mage attacking Ponyville,” Surprise said, opening her menu.
“I think you’ve been around the nobles too much,” Spitfire scolded, “They will gossip about anything. All we know is that somepony insulted Princess Celestia. Let’s just hold off a bit. If it is even a quarter of what everypony is talking about, there will be an official report.”
“You guys talking about that thing is Ponyville?” Donut Joe asked.
“Yeah,” Surprise nodded, “What have you heard?”
He leaned on the counter, “Well nobles tend not to show up here, but I’ve heard everything from a new alicorn to someone trying to kill Princess Luna.”
“Yeah, that’s been flying around faster than Rainbow Dash’s sonic rainboom,” Spitfire said, “I don’t know what the princesses are thinking. Bull puckie like that needs to be shot down right away. It’s more than just a rumor, it’s a diplomatic nightmare.”
Fleetfoot shrugged her shoulders, “Maybe that’s why they haven’t said anything. They are dealing with the other governments.”
“Well, like I said, we should just wait instead of letting everyone’s overactive imagination start affecting us,” Spitfire said, laying the menu on the counter, “Well, I know what I want. You guys ready to order?”
~~***~~
“So how about we head to the park next?” Pinkie Pie asked bouncing down the street, “We could go on the swings, or the twisty slide. Oh! The merry-go-round!”
“Actually Pinkie,” Applejack started, “We all should head back to the palace. Don’t think us leavin’ after she got loose the first time was the swiftest idea to begin with.”
Suddenly they heard a scream from above.
“Incomin’!” Applejack shouted, grabbing her hat.
Pinkie grabbed a large balloon from, somewhere, and in one breath blew up an air mattress. Which Twilight Sparkle promptly crashed into.
“You ok there, Twilight?” Rainbow Dash asked after she stopped skidding across the pavement after sliding off the mattress.
“Look! It’s Princess Twilight!” someone shouted. A crowd quickly encircles them all shouting questions about yesterday.
Twilight glanced around panicking. Then her horn lit up.
The entire group vanished in a flash of purple light.
They reappeared in Bulla’s room, now cleaned up by the staff.
“What in the sweet sun possessed you to leave the palace!” Twilight got into Applejack’s face.
“Well… It was Pinkie’s idea…” she stuttered.
“And you all went along with it?!”
“The staff wouldn’t let us in the kitchens,” Rainbow Dash said.
“Yeah!” Pinkie Pie said, “So I ate part of Princess Celestia’s birthday cake last year. They are the ones who forgot to write her name on it! Not my fault.” Pinkie huffed, crossed her hooves and looked away.
Everyone rolled their eyes.
“Anyway,” Applejack continued, “Since we Pinkie promised the little tike some cupcakes, Pinkie thought of going to Donut Joe’s. We were all coming back from there when ya crashed in front of us.”
Twilight sighed, “Well… at least we got her back before anything bad happened…” Twilight glanced at Bulla.
She smiled at her drooping posture.
“He’s sleeping now,” she said walking over, “but I talked to your father after you left. He’s going to be just fine.”
Bulla looked up at her.
Twilight nodded, “He won’t be up for a few days, but he’s conscious and communicating.” She walked over and put her front leg over her, “The first thing he asked was about you, you know.”
Bulla looked at her surprised.
~~***~~
In the dreamscape, Celestia and Luna were gaping at the large city they found themselves in.
“I know you said he had talent Lulu,” Celestia said as they trotted down the street, “But this is ridiculous.”
“Yes, his mental discipline is impressive,” she answered, glancing about with her horn alight, “But most of these structures are hollow or shallow in depth. He hasth not entered into them.” She lowers her head and lights her horn, “We must find the most detailed dwelling. It will be his location.”
Celestia followed Luna closely as she led them. “He should be down this street,” she said, taking a left.
Down the street was a large dome in the distance with a large herald emblazoned on it.
“What an odd castle,” Luna said.
“This may be his wife’s mansion,” Celestia said, “Prince Vegeta has no property other than his name.”
They trotted along the sidewalk.
“All the structures on this side of the street are domes. This must be a large estate.”
Luna suddenly stopped. “Sister look,” she pointed.
Before them at an open gate is a flashing neon sign with a sun and moon with an arrow pointing inside.
“We believe we are expected.”
“Then let’s get this over with,” Celestia lowered her head as she trotted into the complex.
After following several similar signs, they came to a wide partially-opened sectioned door, but it appeared to roll up into the ceiling. There was a long line of them. They also heard music coming from within (1985 by Bowling for Soup).
Blue and gold magic lifted the door as it made a loud, rolling noise. Inside was a sea of brightly painted machines with restaurant booth seats within them. They walked up to a red one.
“It appears to be some kind of carriage?” Celestia said.
“We see no hitch though,” Luna answered, examining the front bumper.
Suddenly they heard the music switch to a booming screech vaguely identifiable as music (Dracula by Rob Zombie). They turned and saw an open door on the far wall.
They peeked into the room and found a two-wheeled contraption of shiny metal and what they feared was leather. There was a blanket on the floor covered in tools and strange objects covered in a black mud.
Suddenly the music clicked off. They turned and Celestia saw a creature in the same shape as the silhouette. Luna needed no introductions.
“I was wondering when you were going to show up,” Vegeta said wiping the grease off his hands with a towel, “I was running out of songs.”
“Wha… What is this place?” Luna asked.
“The Brief’s private garage. This baby however is mine.” He walked over, “My Harley-Davison motorcycle, aka an iron horse. Horse, Ponies. Ponies, Horse,” he sarcastically introduced them.
Celestia approached the motorcycle sniffing.
“I’d be careful,” Vegeta warned, “If you’re not used to the smell, it can knock you on your ass.”
“How doesth these creations function if thy world has so little magic?”
Suddenly Celestia stood straight and scrambled backwards.
“I told you…”
“Griffin Fire,” Celestia’s voice shook, “These monsters use Griffin Fire.”
Vegeta saw Luna’s pupils go pin point. “Must be a pony pun…” he thought, “Isn’t Greek fire is an old name for oil…?”
“It is called petroleum on Earth,” he said, “Or simply oil. Most machines run on it or artificial lightning called electricity.”
“We knowth what electricity is,” Luna said, “We art not primitives. But how is Griffin fire of use other than a great poison and weapon?”
“That is knowledge neither Equestia nor Equis can afford to possess,” Celestia continued to shake.
Vegeta watched her. Then he snapped his fingers.
Celestia became disoriented by the room spinning into a blur of color. Luna however knew what was next.
The room came to a stop, and they were in a completely different room. This one clearly a sitting room with plush furniture, but of biped design.
Vegeta waved his hand and the large piece that could fit five of him side by side widened and flattened.
Celestia and Luna now walked onto the large bench and sat down.
“We thank you,” Luna said. Celestia nodded her head.
Vegeta’s oily clothes flashed white.
Luna’s eyes widened. Instead of the civilian clothes he greeted her with before, he was clearly in military uniform. White boots and gloves, blue pants and shirt with a white breast plate.
“Why does he wear armor when he’s gone so far to seem helpless?” she thought. She looked at Celestia quivering, “Does he mean to intimidate her?”
Vegeta sat down in a chair across from them. Although he did not alter it, the way he sat with his back straight and arms on the sides gave the illusion of a throne of power. “Well? Do you have something to say to me, Sunshine?”
Celestia whimpered before she started to bawl. “I’m sorrr~y e-e” she said laying her head down and putting her hooves over her eyes. “I was so blinded by your element. This is not your doing, if anything you are victim of a terrible curse. You have done nothing but struggle for your life and I have done nothing but add to your suffering. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve never acted like this before.”
“There’s a simple expl…”
“Don’t thou dare…”
“I’m not going to mention that, Princess Luna,” Vegeta raised his right arm and pointed into the air, “Trust me. Just this once.”
Luna looked at him skeptically, but nodded.
Vegeta lowered his arm. “I was told you both are war heroes and came to power after overthrowing a King Sombra and the same Discord you seem to have come to peace with.”
Celestia’s head shot up, “Who told you that?!”
“The doctors you sent.”
“I ordered them not to talk to you!”
“No, you ordered them not to ask any questions,” he said sternly, “Didn’t say anything about them answering mine.”
Celestia lowered the tilt of her head, “What did you ask them?”
“I asked for a brief history of your kind.”
Celestia took an extended blink, “I see…” She looked suspiciously at him, “Past is Prelude, then?”
Vegeta nodded, “But I only got the story of the defeat of the windigoes. They began a story about your overthrow of a King Sombra when they looked at me and pissed themselves before running off like bats out of hell. I assume it is his memory that colors everyone’s judgment?”
Celestia closed her eyes and nodded.
“Now then, you are well regarded by your subjects. A leader in peace and in war.”
Celestia nodded again.
Luna raised an eyebrow.
“All your thousands of years, all the things you’ve done that’s made your skin crawl, you have always comforted yourself by saying you had no other choice. That you always make the right decisions,” Vegeta looked down his nose at her, “But now you have made the wrong choice, twice. And not something harmless like a tax audit. Someone almost died, twice, by your order. And now all those emotions you’ve been burying for all these centuries are surging to the surface and you’ve lost the only weapon you’ve had to smother them.”
Celestia’s eyes widened as she lost all expression in her face.
“Did she just get paler?” Vegeta thought.
Then she tilted her head back and screamed.
Vegeta watched her cry for some time. Then he saw Luna glare at him as she put her wing over her older sister.
He closed his eyes briefly before he spoke.
“You are not the only one who has made miscalculations in this encounter.”
Celestia uncovered her eyes as the two looked at him surprised.
Vegeta leaned forward putting his elbows on his legs and clasped his hands together. “I did not take your race seriously. I underestimated the power I now possess and overestimated any natural ability to control it.” He lowered his eyes, “Six years ago, my home was attacked by a dark wizard and his army. His soldiers were people who had fallen to a mind control spell, one that sacrificed free will for untold strength. If the children ever learn of it, I will say I do not remember what happened after I fell,” he looked back up at them, “But that is a lie.”
He took a deep breath, “When I felt my new body’s magic rip through me in the dungeon, it was the exact same sensation of power coursing in my veins, the exact same overwhelming voices screaming the hatred and vengeance I had swallowed my whole life.”
Vegeta straightened up and returned to his authoritative position, “When my horn is finished getting glued back on, I want that thing that blocked the magic put back on it. I refuse to become such a creature again.”
“If you have faced this darkness before,” Celestia asked, “how did you overcome it?”
“I killed myself in a fleeting moment of clarity.”
Celestia swallowed. “I heard you were brought back from the dead. Yet you are not an abomination. Has death become so meaningless for your kind?”
“Some view it that way. But I believe it’s better to go into battle believing you will not return than to sacrifice your life casually only to discover you cannot. The item used was never meant for that purpose. It only works on a very narrow set of circumstances and even then fails constantly.”
Celestia sniffed, “I think it is best to not advertise that fact about yourself. Your kind seems to have a love of dangerous things.”
Then…
“Prince Vegeta, why did you leave your cell?”
Vegeta lowered his eyes and smirked, “Finally getting to the gorilla in the room…” He looked back up, “In my world, children are often harmed to punish their parents…”
Celestia’s and Luna’s jaws dropped.
“… When I realized I was being treated like a King Sombra incarnate, I immediately feared for my daughter. And when the guards’ answers only heightened my suspicions, I went to rescue her.”
“Thou thought we would harm a child?”
“But what have we done that would disprove his biases, if such behavior is the norm in his experience,” Celestia said mournfully.
Vegeta nodded. “On a related note, I had noticed my total ease at escaping, and yet from what I overheard in the briefing I was under guard by the best you had, in both men and materials?”
“Yes thou were,” Luna said, overstepping her still emotional sister, “How did thou do it?”
“By the powers my people take for granted in everyday life, just as you take for granted magic I surmise.” Vegeta leaned forward again, “Which means your race is completely helpless if we are attacked before my friends can arrive.”
“Attacked?!” they both gasped.
Vegeta nodded, “War and violence are a part of everyday life where I come from. The arms race has kept most regions in a stalemate, but from what I’ve seen, yours is not one of them. Magic may buy you some time, but you will be quickly overwhelmed.”
“What is the chance of invasion?” Celestia ordered, “And from which direction? We must secure the borders.”
Vegeta shook his head, “You still don’t get it do you. I am not from this planet. I do not know this system’s coordinates. I do not know who your neighbors are or their aggression level.”
Celestia suddenly stood and loomed over Vegeta, “I am willing to believe many things about you, but this nonsense must end!” she stomped her hoof.
“Then where am I from?” Vegeta raised his voice, “Where is all this from? This planet is no bigger than Earth judging by its gravity.”
Celestia’s eye twitched.
Luna stood and leaned into her, “Let’s ignore this dragon for now, and just believe the evidence that these two are visitors from another world. A planet, a parallel dimension, the science and its fiction that have developed during my exile supplies more than enough room to accommodate them without accepting we are a figment of imagination.”
Vegeta saw Celestia try to relax. “She’s going to be a basket case to deal with until she levels out,” he thought, “Total control freak and perfectionist.”
“I may have a solution.”
Celestia and Luna looked up from nuzzling each other.
Vegeta leaned forward again, “First tell me, are your life forces pure magic? Or say somehow your magic was taken from you, would you still be healthy?”
“Why doesth this matter?” Luna asked.
“Because my style of powers comes from manipulating your own life force, your own energy. But if your species’ life force is your magic, then I cannot teach you how to do it.”
Celestia took an uncertain step forward, “You… You would teach Equestria your powers?”
“Don’t get me wrong, in my current condition my daughter’s safety depends solely on your military. But I can guarantee your prowess in something as rare as magic will cause a lot of unwanted attention as it has done for the people of Earth and Namek,” Vegeta stood, “First contact planets always have a hell of a time adjusting, and although my ancestors technically did not count, we were fully taken advantage of in our ignorance.” He extended his hand, “I don’t expect full trust…”
Celestia shook her head, “No, Prince Vegeta…”
He lowered his arm.
“… I’m not sure if you knew the full consequences of breaking your horn, but I see you were fully prepared for the death it could cause.” She raised her hoof, “A death to protect those that had tried to kill you, those that had shown you nothing but disrespect, suspicion and hatred.” Celestia tilted her head slightly and smiled, “You have my full trust. Pax?”
Vegeta took her hoof, “Pax.”
Chapter 12: The Dollar Prince
Chapter 12: The Dollar Prince
Fancy Pants waited in the sitting room of an evening formal wear store as Fleur dis Lee and Rarity examined various dresses and accessories.
“We’re back,” Rarity said as the two walked into the room floating several bags in their magic.
“Are you done already?” Fancy Pants looked at the ornate grandfather clock, “By Celestia it’s only been 40 minutes.” He stood, “How did you make your purchase so fast? Fleur is usually here for hours.”
Fleur glared at him.
“A designer would be remiss if she did not wear her own ensembles,” Rarity said, taking a pose.
“Oh yes, I see it now. That is a blue version of your Garden Party dress,” he straightened his monocle, “How silly of me not to notice. I do apologize.”
“You’re forgiven,” she said, “Now where to first?”
“Well, since it is only 10:42, I say we have just enough time to make it to the luncheon. Golden Gravel is presenting his latest selections before his auction tonight at Silver Frame’s art gallery,” Fancy Pants said. “I’m sure they won’t mind if we show up. It is an open house after all.”
“Well then,” Rarity said walking out the door leading to the lobby, “Let’s flag down a carria-” She stopped mortified, then sheepishly turned around, “I mean- a- let’s summon a limousine service. No sense getting all these expensive clothes dirty on seats that have had who-knows-what placed on them,” she chuckled nervously.
Fancy Pants laughed, “There’s no need for that Rarity. You’re among friends.” He looked over at Fleur, “Actually that sounds like a bit of an adventure. I’ve never been on a public taxi or trolley before. One of these days we could go have a bit of rustic fun.”
“Perhaps,” Fleur said, “But not until the issues with Aquafina’s daughter die down. Everypony has been on edge these past months.”
“What’s happened?” Rarity asked, concerned.
“Well,” Fancy Pants hesitated, “to put it succinctly, the poor girl has had a baby, out of wedlock. She gave birth at the train station three months ago. From what was found in her luggage, she was probably waiting on the father to run off together. Poor girl. Won’t say a word on who he could be. All the suitors Aquafina and Trident have been setting up for her to marry have vanished. And now Trident’s yacht company has suffered too. No pony wants anything to do with them.”
Rarity put her hoof to her mouth, “Oh dear. What’s going to happen to her and the baby?”
“And that is exactly why we like having you around Rarity,” Fleur said, “In all these months. You are the first pony to have concern for the baby. But honestly no one knows. Child was quite early. The poor dear could be dead or stuffed in an orphanage on the edge of Equestria somewhere.”
“Yes, but you’ll need a stiff upper lip if it comes up today,” Fancy Pants said trotting forward, “Now let’s call for our escort.”
~~***~~
“Absolutely exquisite collection this time, Golden Gavel.”
“Why thank you, Pampered Pearl,” Golden Gavel said. He glanced about the room, “At least some pony is taking note of the artwork. I fear this auction may not be as successful as hoped.”
“Oh I know,” she said, “I never thought anything could overtake the scandal over the bastard. But Princess Celestia taking Princess Luna’s place, the dark mage must have injured her greatly.”
“I’m just glad the horse shoe with the Griffon Empire dropped when it did. It is so hard to get Ancient Roaman items to begin with. Now I fear the door will be closed for some time.”
“Yes, the icons you’ve gathered from Constampedople are quite stunning,” Pampered Pearl leaned in close, “Is there any chance I could talk you into a private sale before the auction begins?”
Suddenly the hushed whispers grew much louder. The two turned around and saw Fancy Pants, Fleur dis Lee and another companion enter the gallery.
Golden Gavel respectfully hurried over to them as the nobles quickly encircled them. “Fancy Pants? Fleur dis Lee? I had no idea you would be coming.”
Fancy Pants smiled, “Well this is an open house. Everyone is welcome, are they not?”
“Yes. Yes of course! Welcome. Allow me to personally guide you, the duchess and… Forgive me, Lady Rarity, is that you?”
The crowd went silent.
Rarity bowed, “Yes it is me. It is good to see you again, Golden Gavel…” she looked around at the crowd, “And the rest of you. The fashion circuit has kept me so busy lately, I haven’t been able to come socialize as much as I’d like to. But I’m finally back.” She smiled looking back at Golden Gavel, “So what have you collected for this month’s charity auction? I’m eager to see it.”
“…Why yes, of course. Right this way,” Golden Gavel pointed to the left.
The crowd continued to follow them as they walked.
“Lady Rarity,” Swan Song said, “Your boutique is in Ponyville, correct?”
“Yes, why do you ask?”
“Then you know the truth about what happened there the past few days?”
“Yes, Lady Rarity. You must tell us what you know,” Primrose insisted.
Several yeses and pleases came from the sea of nods.
“Well, what have you heard?” Rarity asked.
“She’s a bearer for the princesses,” Rarity heard someone whisper loudly. The eager faces of the nobles instantly sobered. Several went wide-eyed.
One could hear a pin drop for well over a minute.
“Is something wrong?” Rarity asked.
Everyone was desperate to end the silence, knowing the longer the silence went on, the more suspicious they looked, but at the same time not wanting to draw suspicion to themselves with the royal courtesan. Finally, their salvation walked through the doors.
“What is she doing here?” someone whispered. Quickly everyone turned their heads from Rarity back to the doors.
Rarity, Fancy Pants, and Fleur dis Lee turned around. Aquafina had walked through the doors.
Rarity quickly thought of something and bravely trotted over to her, “Lady Aquafina! Darling. How have you been?”
“Li-Lady Rarity?” she said, shocked.
“I know! It has been far too long since we’ve talked,” Rarity said excitedly.
Aquafina smiled, “Yes. It is good to talk again.”
Rarity guided Aquafina back to the group as she continued her excited tone. She guessed correctly. This egregious violation of society proved her innocence to the others. Any court spy would be fully up to date and careful to remain flawless.
Rarity did not know what made her happier, whether the idea worked or how happy Aquafina was to be back in the social circle. Actually scratch that, Aquafina’s happiness was much more important.
“So Ponyville wasn’t attacked by a dark mage?” Chocolate Tail said surprised.
“No. Nothing of the sort,” Rarity said equally surprised, “How did that story come about?”
“Then who is the pony who injured Princess Luna and caused Princess Celestia to rain fire on the town?” Fine Line asked.
“Oh dear,” Rarity put her hoof to her mouth, “Talk about a snowball rolling out of control.” She lowered her leg, “Princess Celestia did no such thing. A foreigner insulted her and she became so angry her mane and tail turned to flame. Only damage done was from triggering the sprinklers.”
“But what about Princess Luna’s injury?” Perfect Pace said, “And the prisoner in the dungeon. My sister works in the palace. She would not make up the story of a dark mage sent to the dungeons for injuring Princess Luna.”
Rarity’s jaw dropped and her eyes turned pinprick.
“You did not know?” Sealed Scroll said skeptically, “You’re one of Element Bearers.”
“Princess Luna was injured in an accident,” Rarity said after several seconds. “Princess Celestia wanted to punish the poor pony, but Princess Luna was dead set against it. She actually seems to like him. If that is him down below, I don’t know what changed between Ponyville and Canterlot to put him there.”
Everyone gasped and Rarity instantly realized why.
“Princess Luna… and a dark mage?” Primrose stuttered.
Rarity panicked. “It is nothing of the sort. Pri-ease,” she caught herself, “Would the princess really be interested in a dark mage?” She giggled nervously, “That’s just silly.”
A red unicorn with blue-white hair stomped his foot, “That is a lie if I ever heard one.”
“Oh Poppycock,” Rarity waved her hoof, “Would I lie?”
Fancy Pants stepped in front of Rarity. “Duke Poppycock. If Lady Rarity was one to lie, she would not have confessed to those rather rustic individuals to not only being her best friends but calling them the most important ponies she knows.”
Fancy Pants and Poppycock glared at each other.
“My! What have we here?” Fleur said loudly, “What a lovely vase! Is this a Ming or a Han?”
“Oh. Ah yes. You have a good eye,” Golden Gavel said trotting over, “This is a 9th century Han…”
Despite the tension in the room, the rest of the tour went off without incident. But the chatter at the luncheon was mostly nonexistent. Whatever Fancy Pants and Fleur dis Lee were scared of, Rarity quickly concluded, nopony was going to say it in front of her.
Fancy Pants, Fleur dis Lee, and Rarity joined Golden Gavel and Silver Frames at the farewell line shaking hooves with the stallions and bowing to the ladies. Poppycock and Fancy Pants shared a quick glare before he continued to Fleur dis Lee, skipped Rarity, then exchanged quick pleasantries with Golden Gavel and Silver Frames before departing.
“Well, that went better than expected,” Golden Gravel wiped his brow with a handkerchief.
“Yes, that was a splendid show my old friend,” Fancy Pants beamed, “I can’t wait for the auction tonight.”
Aquafina slowly walked forward from her place at the back of the room. Golden Gavel and Silver Frames looked at her awkwardly not knowing what to do. “Excuse me,” they both said almost simultaneously before leaving.
She hung her head until she came to Rarity. “Rarity… I don’t know what to say… I hope talking to me doesn’t ruin your reputation. You are too kind to suffer for such an innocent mistake.”
Rarity smiled, “If you mean your new grandchild, Fancy Pants and Fleur dis Lee told me all about it.”
Aquafina’s jaw dropped.
Fancy Pants sighed, “I wish I could say I put her up to it, but I cannot. But seeing her here today made me feel ashamed. I promise the first thing I will do once I leave here is march right into your husband’s office and order the largest yacht you can make.”
“I fear one yacht won’t save our business,” Aquafina said, “But thank you.”
“What are your plans for the rest of the afternoon until the auction?” Fleur dis Lee asked.
“I am afraid that these past few weeks… my calendar has emptied out.”
“Then why don’t you join Rarity and I this afternoon, as our special guest,” she smiled.
Aquafina’s jaw dropped, “I-ee, I… Thank you. Thank you so much.”
~~***~~
“Ah, Jetset, Uppercrust. Good to see you.”
The husband and wife turned around. “Duke Poppycock?” Jetset said surprised, “What brings you to the Lady’s fashion district?”
“I thought you were a bachelor colt?” Uppercrust asked.
“No,” Poppycock said curtly, “Just taking a shortcut to the golf club to blow off steam. You wouldn’t believe it but Aquafina showed up at the charity luncheon.”
The two gasped.
“And that is not the half of it,” he continued, “Lady Rarity is back in Canterlot and she ran up to her like a gitty foal and brought her into the group forcing everyone to talk to her so not to offend Fancy Pants and Fleur dis Lee who did nothing to admonish her and happy bantered with that… that-that mare!”
“Oh, dear,” Uppercrust said, “I know he’s fond of that girl. But that’s absolutely ridiculous.”
“Lady Rarity seemed awkward when she was questioned about that dark mage,” Poppycock said disgusted, “I know a lie when I hear it. I bet the princesses sent her to eavesdrop and spread lies to the nobles to cover things up. And Fancy Pants and Fluer dis Lee are in on it.”
“That’s quite the accusation,” Jetset nearly stuttered.
“The Bearers and Princess Twilight arrived by train just this morning. And in less than an hour she’s gossiping amongst the nobility. She knows something. I caught her off guard, and she nearly said the name of the fiend. The only way she would know that is that she knows what really happened. That is the one thing none of us have been able to pry from the servants.”
“How do you know it was the dark mage’s name?” Jetset asked.
Poppycock’s eyes narrowed. “She said the word ‘prince’.”
Suddenly ambulances screamed past at a nearby intersection.
“Four?” Uppercrust said, “I wonder…”
Then another five ran past.
Jetset looked up. “There’s no smoke in the sky. Not a fire.”
Then a large mass of Day Guard charged down the street at full speed, swords and spears drawn and magic in their horns.
“A battle?” Poppycock raised an eyebrow. The edges of his mouth turned up as he gave a short chuckle, “Why don’t we go see for ourselves. Get a head start on the gossip.” He trotted off.
Jetset and Uppercrust looked at each other nervously before following, fear of the powerful noble outweighing their personal safety.
~~***~~
They followed the chaos into the common quarter.
At what appeared to be a peasant restaurant, a brawl has spilled out into the street. The Wonderbolt uniform was easily recognizable, but those they were fighting were also uniformed.
“A private security force? And the Wonderbolts?” Uppercrust said dumbstruck, “But who?”
A mare’s scream cut through the fight. They saw a unicorn with a baby— a purple unicorn with a clearly undersized baby.
One of the unicorn security officers made for the screaming mare and grabbed her in his magic. He only managed to pull the blanket from her back and the screaming baby from its harness. In the process, her cutie mark and his insignia came into view for all to see. Her cutie mark, swirling dolphins. His uniform’s mark, a gold trident within a blue balloon.
Poppycock got an evil grin.
~~***~~
“Sea Swirl is your daughter?!” Rarity gasped causing many ponies nearby to turn their heads. But upon seeing Aquafina they sneer and go back to what they were doing. “Thee Sea Swirl, Sea Swirl,” Rarity continues, “Purple unicorn with yin yang dolphins as her mark?”
Aquafina looks surprised, “Yes. She travels to Ponyville to buy from your boutique.”
Rarity stuttered, “Why yes… I mean I saw her in the boutique… and-and the spa. I knew she was from Canterlot from her accent… oh dear.” Rarity’s eyes went pin prick and quickly covered her mouth as a realization hit her. “Oh no…” she thought remembering how she was always about town, “The father. Don’t tell me he’s from Ponyville.”
“A spa? Sea Swirl never mentioned anything about a spa on her trips. Always said she got in and out of that hobble as fast as possible. No offense Lady Rarity,” Aquafina added, quickly remembering who she was talking to.
“Oh ah… Well I recommended a visit once after she complimented me on my lovely hooficure. Aloe and Vera really are the best at what they do. I enjoy their spa far better than even the ones in Canterlot.”
“I see,” Fleur dis Lee quickly said, “Well maybe next time my work takes me through Ponyville I’ll make a quick stop. If I can find extra time, we can make an afternoon of it.”
“That would be marvelous,” Rarity said. The two pass a knowing smile between them.
Aquafina looked at the ground briefly before looking up at Fleur dis Lee. “Duchess dis Lee. Your work keeps you in Manehattan most of the time, correct?”
“Yes, why?”
“Well… ever since my daughter moved there six years ago…”
Rarity’s eyes widened. “She moved to Ponyville six years ago,” she thought, “Oh crap. Oh crap.”
“… she’s been writing letters on all the happenings. But other than the Oranges…”
“The Apples are in on this?” Rarity thought, “Oh crap. Oh crap.”
“…No one has seen hide or hair of her. Her letters always seemed like she was a mare about town. Even her neighbors at the flat she’s been renting haven’t seen her. They thought it was vacant.” Aquafina looked back down at the ground, “I thought she wasn’t telling us who the father was because she had a fling with an actor… but… but it’s almost like…”
The group rounded a corner and promptly collided with a golden tan unicorn in a bowling shirt.
“Oh Celestia! I am so sorry ma’am,” he said, trying to untangle himself from Aquafina, “I should have been paying… I only closed my eyes for a second.” He stood and offered her a hoof as he picked up her feathered hat with his magic.
“Don’t touch me!” she swatted his hoof.
“Here let me take that… Bocce?”
“Rarity? That you?”
“You know this stallion?” Fleur dis Lee asked, helping Aquafina to her feet. She then took the hat from his magic and placed it on Aquafina’s head.
“Oh, yes,” Rarity stuttered, “This is Bocce. His father is a wealthy businessman in Ponyville.”
Aquafina looked skeptically over the poorly dressed stallion. “And what pray tell is your business?”
“My father is Mr. Kingpin. He owns several bowling alleys, arcades and miniature golf courses, Ma’am,” Bocce said nervously.
“Bowling?” Aquafina said looking down her nose, “I assume the common version.”
Bocce bowed, “Yes Ma’am, my father runs 10-pin lanes.” He glanced up, then lost all color in his face.
“What?” she said as the three mares turned to see what he was looking at. There was a food smear over Aquafina’s dress.
Aquafina spun around and almost growled like a carnivore as Bocce backed away under her fury, “You! You know how much it will cost to clean this!?”
Rarity’s horn lit up, “Hold still a moment Lady Aquafina. I have just the spell.”
Rarity’s horn lit up and took Aquafina’s dress in its grip. The food lifted from the cloth floating in the air.
Aquafina stared at the perfectly cleaned dress stunned, “How did you do that?”
“I developed this spell because of Pinkie Pie. I swear every time she sees somepony wearing nice clothes she has a compulsion to throw cupcakes at them.” Rarity glanced about, but all she saw for trash up and down the entire block was the gilded public cigarette can next to the corner lamp post. She shapes the floating mush into a long cylinder and slips in into the small hole, “It gets the majority of it, but not enough to stop the smell. But the dry cleaning bill will be no more than a normal cleaning.”
“Well,” Aquafina glared at Bocce, “Seems you lucked out. But you will be paying for it, young colt.”
“Lady Aquafina,” Fleur said, lighting her horn, “Forgive me a moment. There’s something under your hooves.”
Fleur reached underneath and pulled a bakery bag from under her dress. She turned it around to look at it. “Donut Joe’s,” she read the bag. “I believe this is...” Fleur stopped, seeing the poor stallion had turned whiter than Princess Celestia.
“La-La-La-La Lad-ee Acoofina Aqwa-Aquarius? Wife to Tra-Trident Aquarius, the the airyacht maker?”
Aquafina turned her nose up, “Yes. I see you’re not an uneducated commoner.”
“Sa-Sa-Sa Seeee Su-Su Maw-Maw-Maw” Bocce stuttered as he shook like an earthquake was happening under his hooves.
Fleur looked at him fearing the poor stallion was about to faint, then she glanced at the bag.
“Well?” Aquafina glared daggers at him, “Stop stuttering and…”
“Hmmm,” Fleur said loudly.
The three turned to see Fleur eating a pastry from the bag.
“These crumpets are divine.”
“They should,” Rarity said, “His baking wouldn’t be a favorite of Princess Celestia otherwise.”
Aquafina’s face snarled, “The princess eats this common fare?”
“Why yes darling,” Rarity said, a knowing look on her face, “In fact he’s worked with top chefs like Gustave le Grand and even won the National Dessert Competition.” Rarity put her hoof to her mouth, “Oh that’s right, your family chef competed as well but didn’t even place.”
Aquafina stood there speechless for several seconds, until Fleur floated a piece of a donut over to her. Aquafina glanced around quickly, and seeing no one looking at them, took a tentative bite.
Rarity smiled as the edges of Aquafina’s mouth turned up.
“Oh my,” Aquafina said, “I see why Princess Celestia likes these things.” She looked at Bocce, “What do your ponies call these again?”
“Donuts… Ma’am.”
“Well at least you are no longer stuttering like a buffoon,” she said. “Tell me young man, how much money do you have on you?”
“Wa-wa Why?”
“Because I believe I have been seen long enough with a commoner. You will need a change of clothes, unless you would rather have a talk with my lawyers.”
“Lady Aquafina,” Rarity scolded, “I think you’re forgetting Bocce is an old friend of mine.” She turned to Bocce, “Don’t worry about a thing, Bocce. I’ll find a lovely suit for you.”
“Tux? I don’t need a tux. Why-Why-Why would I need a tux?” he said hurriedly.
Fleur giggled, “I think just an elegant suit will do nicely. Not like we are going to the Gala.”
Aquafina turned her nose up, “I was thinking more of a servants’ uniform. Do not want him to be mistaken for somepony important.”
“Um, Lady Aquafina?” Rarity walked over and put her mouth in her ear hiding her face with her hoof, “His family is worth…” she whispered.
Rarity pulled back and gave a self-satisfied smirk seeing Aquafina’s mouth hanging open.
Aquafina eventually closed her mouth and twitched as she looked him over. “Well… I suppose all noble families start as nouveau riche at some point or another,” she said struggling to stay civil. Aquafina trotted off, “Well then. Let’s go find you clothes befitting your actual status.”
Fleur looked surprised as Aquafina walked off. She turned to Bocce, “How much are you worth young man?”
“Well… I umm…”
“About three times as much as the Aquariuses were worth when we first met,” Rarity smiled.
“If my father ever forgives me…” he muttered.
“Wow,” Fleur said, shocked. Then she smiled, “I believe the common word for this is ‘burn,’ if I remember correctly.”
“Yes. Yes it is,” Rarity held her head high as she trotted off. “Come Bocce, we have shopping to do.”
“Umm… yes,” he walked after them.
“Here. These are yours,” Fleur floated the bag in front of him.
“Oh, yes thank you,” he took them.
“Sorry about eating them earlier,” she said softly, “But working in the fashion industry, you learn how to distract big egos from a nasty argument. Perfect practice for marrying nobility, really.”
“A huh…” Bocce said in a way she recognized as a stallion not paying attention.
Fleur saw him look worriedly at the clock tower as sirens blared in the background. “Did you have plans this afternoon?”
Bocce whipped his head around. “What? Oh no…” he said before looking back at the clock.
~~***~~
“Trident, my good fellow! How have you been?”
Trident was too shocked to even stutter. His pen and paper simply fell to the desk as his magic failed, landing next to his jaw.
Fancy Pants laughed as he trotted over to his desk, “It is good to see you too.” He sat in the chair across from his desk. “I am here to order a new yacht. The largest, most expensive you make with all the extras. I want the Princesses themselves to turn green with envy.”
“I…” Trident stuttered, “What brings this about? You’ve never been one for gaudy conspicuous consumption.”
Fancy Pants raised his eyebrow. “I’m here for a yacht. Do I need any more reason?” Then he smiled and chuckled.
Trident closed his eyes and sighed, “Thank you… I know what you’re trying to do… but I fear it’s too late.”
“Nonsense! It is never too late,” he said forcefully, “We’ll have your business making record profits in no time.”
“Did you pass a green unicorn on the way in?”
“Yes. Why? Who is he?”
“That is Silver Tongue. He’s a lawyer for Dark Horse…”
Fancy Pants’ face twisted, failing to hide his rage. “Those bloody corporate raiders. Are they pressuring you to sell?”
“I have until trading starts Monday to sell… Otherwise they will buy out our stocks and get nothing.” He put his hooves to his muzzle, “Why did I ever agree to start publicly trading my grandfather’s company. We were only on the exchange for two weeks when… Now we're worth less than a hay penny to the bits.” Trident dropped his hooves revealing the disgust on his face.
Fancy Pants recognized his thoughts. “This is not her fault.”
“Is it now?” Trident slammed his hooves on the table. “She gave the gossipers the weapons they needed to destroy this family! Three generations of hard work gone! Duke Poppycock’s cronies would never have the means to do this otherwise! That… That worthless blatherskite!”
“I hate that stallion as much as you do…”
“His nephew Blarney is on the Board of Directors along with that bastard pussyhawk of the Lords Zeppelin. The first thing they’re going to do after buying my company is sell it to the unHoly Griffon Empire!”
“Trident, we will solve this. But it can’t happen unless you can think with a clear head.”
“Solve what?! Even you don’t have the money to buy me out or rally enough nobles to save us! Unless my daughter secretly fucked some nouveau riche millionaire my company is screwed!”
“Trident…”
Suddenly the door swung wide and a pegasus day guard stomped into the room. “Viscount Trident Aquarius. You have been summoned to the Platinum Street Barracks to account for your employees.”
“Why? What happened?”
The pegasus raises his right wing. Two unicorn day guards walked in flanking him with cuffs at the ready. He lowers his wing, “Just come with us willingly. Don’t make us shackle you.”
~~***~~
At the Platinum Street barracks, Duke Poppycock exited the building with Trident’s security guards. They stopped on the sidewalk and faced each other.
“Thank you for paying our bail,” their leader said, scratching the back of his head.
“Of course. Think nothing of it,” he smiled, “It is only proper after all. You were following orders. You’re not the guards to blame for her escape. You were only seeing to her safety and the soldiers overreacted not understanding the situation. My sister is married to the judge in charge of the sector that restaurant is in. I am certain he can see the truth of this unfortunate misunderstanding.”
“Well,” he said, “I believe it is best that we return to our posts.” He turned around, “Come on, let’s head back to the manor.”
Duke Poppycock watched them leave.
“Uncle!”
He turned around and saw a twin of himself briskly walk up. “I left as soon as I got your…”
“Blarney, I don’t think our business partners would approve of talking willy-nilly about their devices.”
“I’m sorry Uncle,” Blarney saw trying to respectfully catch his breath, “Where is Lady Sea Swirl?”
“Still in her holding room. She’s been smart enough to keep her mouth shut. So there is no official story to counter what we’re about to do.” He smiled, “You know what to do.”
Blarney returned the grin then walked into the barracks. Duke Poppycock turned and walked away.
~~***~~
Sea Swirl was nursing her baby under her nursing blanket when the door opened. Blarney was let into the room by a guard who shut the door behind him.
“Hello, my darling,” Blarney said, “You have no idea how glad I am that you and the child were cleared by the doctor.”
Sea Swirl sneered, “What do you want, Blarney? How many times do I have to say no to marrying you?”
“One, I am here as a lawyer. Two, you have no choice anymore.”
“I always have a choice!” she snapped, “Get out.”
“Selfishness is so unbecoming a mare of your reputation, or previous reputation I should say. Never thinking of your own parents. They are about to become penniless street hobos and you don’t even care.”
“What do you mean?” she said, surprised.
“Since your little spectacle at the train station, your family’s trading company has gone from 1250 bits a share to barely two haypennies. My company, Dark Horse, has given your father an ultimatum: sell to us by Friday or Monday we buy a controlling share of the company. Holders are so desperate to rid of your stocks they will give them away for free.”
He walked over and put his front leg around her shoulders, “We all know your company bylaws have each member of your family getting 11% of all stocks. That means your husband will put you over 50%, which will be very bad for business. Now everyone knows how much your father hates mine. Everyone also knows my company’s main office is in Manehattan, where your tickets were heading. Perfect motive to imprison you for all these months. Your lovely daughter also looks exactly like you, so there’s no visual way of telling who the father is.”
A predatory smile creeped over his face as Sea Swirl started to cry. The baby sensing something wrong began to cry as well. She brought her baby up to her neck to hug her.
“So, what do you say, my darling?”
“I… I need to think about it.”
Blarney took his leg off her shoulders and shoved the table aside violently, crashing into the wall. He got in her face.
“That is not the right answer,” he growled. “Either you say yes right now and we walk directly to the judge’s office on the floor above us. Or we will destroy everything you ever loved.”
Sea Swirl’s face distorted into a mix of fear, hate, and tears.
“30 seconds…” he began, “29. 28. 27. 2…”
“What if I gave you something,” Sea Swirl blurted out, “Something about the Princesses.”
“You’ve been locked up for three months,” he said skeptically, “What could you possibly know? 23. 22…”
“The Element Bearers were in the restaurant. Pinkie knows the owner. They had a filly with them, a Princess Bulla from another country. They didn’t say where though. But they arrived only a couple days ago according to them.”
To her relief, he stopped counting. “I’m listening,” he said intrigued.
“Earlier she had tried to escape the palace. Sent the Guards on a wild goose chase for hours. She had been crying, exhausted so much she couldn’t raise her head. Her father has had his horn broken off; from their tone it didn’t sound like an accident.”
Blarney smiled, “Royalty from another country entered Equestria without fanfare two or three days ago. They appear to be being held in the palace against their will. And her father’s horn has been deliberately broken off. Is that about right?”
“Yes, that was the whole of their conversation with the Wonderbolts. Captain Spitfire wanted to know if they needed extra help guarding her but they declined. They left after their food was delivered to go. Then the Wonderbolts took their place at the bar. I heard them gossiping among themselves. They were talking about the Palace being in a panic over a new dark mage attacking Ponyville. Maybe six or seven minutes later, my… my father’s guards came in.”
Blarney fixed the room with his magic, “Sea Swirl my darling, you have won yourself time to think it over. I will call at your manor tomorrow at noon. And don’t think running off with your baby daddy will save your parents. My uncle and the other marriage practitioners have… an understanding if you will. And thanks to this little incident, you won’t be allowed to leave the city. Being a material witness to an assault on military officers and such, I’m sure you’ll be well guarded. At home of course; no sense arresting a noble and placing them in a cell unless they try to flee.”
His predatory grin returned, “I’m sure child services will have a thing or two to say about that.” He walked to the door and gripped the handle in his magic. He looked back into the room, “So I suggest having a dress at the ready.” He opened the door and left.
Sea Swirl nuzzled her screaming daughter.
~~***~~
As Blarney exited the barracks, he saw Trident and Fancy Pants being escorted in.
“Why are you here?” Trident snarled.
“Move along,” the pegasus guard said, tapping Trident’s side with his wingblade.
Trident sneered at him as the guards took him inside.
Fancy Pants stayed behind. “That is a good question. Why are you here? Playing on poor daughter to manipulate her father, I assume?”
“I am here simply as a lawyer to clients. I assume the same motivation for your presence?”
“You will fail,” Fancy Pants said bluntly before marching into the barracks.
~~***~~
As the group traveled from store to store the whole of the fashion district was buzzing. Not just that Duchess Fleur dis Lee and Lady Rarity were openly with Lady Aquafina, but speculating at the identity of that dashing young unicorn stallion in his suave suit singlehoovedly levitating all those bags.
“Are you sure you don’t need any help with that? That’s almost 30 bags,” Fleur asked.
“Nah. My dad made me practice levitation as a foal by turning off the machines and making me pin colt for half the alley.” Bocce chuckled, “I’ve handled far worse than this.”
“That does not seem like something to brag about within gentle society,” Aquafina huffed.
“Twenty lanes. Ten pins each. That’s 200 pins. Plus all the balls to keep straight. Many bowlers in Ponyville bring their own balls. That’s over 300 items levitating in the chaos of twenty separate games all crashing at once. Perhaps you’d like to try that as an eight-year-old colt?”
Aquafina stopped, “Eight?! Is your father mad?”
“No, just with high expectations.” He trotted ahead, “I did it though. Took a little bit of practice, but I had the alley running at full speed in less than an hour.”
Rarity stopped next to Aquafina, “When I told Princess Twilight that story when she first came to Ponyville she did not believe it was possible. She made me track him down and when he didn’t relent, she challenged him. She took one side, he took the other. It didn’t end well… Perhaps Spike should have warned us about her obsessiveness beforehand…”
“Father had to get a restraining order against her to keep her out of the alley. She wasn’t going to stop until she could do it right.”
“But this was back before her ascension, correct?” Aquafina stuttered, “Surely she is more than…”
“Sorry Lady Aquafina,” Bocce said, stopping and turning around, “Father made the mistake of letting her in again. He won’t be making another.”
Aquafina looked to Rarity. Rarity nodded, smiling. Aquafina stared at Bocce with her mouth wide open. Rarity giggled, but stopped seeing Fleur’s jaw hanging open as well.
Bocce shrugged his shoulders, “Everyone has their special talents. It’s not just a matter of levitation. Twilight is too inflexible and controlling to handle the chaos of being a pin colt. Maybe a line or two at the same time, but no more than five.”
He turned, hearing the clock strike 3:30. “Forgive me,” he turned back around, “but the last train for home leaves at 4. How much longer?”
“I fear you will miss your train then, Bocce,” Fleur said, “It is a 45 minute walk to the Aquarius Estate from downtown.”
“You can come stay with us at the Palace,” Rarity said quickly, “I’m sure Princess Celestia will give you a room for the night.”
“No…”
They turned to Aquafina.
“After everything my fam… this nouveau riche bastard doesn’t deserve the palace…” she snarled.
“Lady Aquafina.” Fleur stomped her hoof, “This young man has been nothing but a gentlecolt since we met him, despite all the insults you’ve thrown at him. His family is more than capable of paying you whatever your lawyers would force from him ten times over, and yet from the goodness of his heart he has remained. He more than deserves the Palace.”
“No. No,” Bocce said, “It’s quite alright. A train to Manehatten leaves at 6-something if I remember right. Won’t be the first time I show up at my aunt’s home in the middle of the night.”
Aquafina twitched, “You have family in Manehattan?”
“Yes, my aunt is married to the son of the owner of Coney Island.”
“Lyonnaise Boules-Coney? You’re her nephew?”
“Yes, Lady Aquafina.” He saw her twitch. “Is… is there a problem?”
“No, just surprised. I don’t know them well because they are on the opposite side of the building, but their condo is on the same floor as ours.”
“Oh?” Suddenly his eyes widened, “Oh… well sorry I’ve never had the pleasure of running into you. I…I spend most of my time in Ponyville… Father left me in charge of our holdings there when he moved our corporate headquarters to Las Pegasus.” He gave an obviously fake grin.
Aquafina returned the fake smile. “Well, it is getting close to tea time. Why don’t all of you come into the manor, as my guests.” She calmly walks next to him, “I would enjoy hearing more of your time in… Manehattan.” She walked off with determination in her gate.
Everyone was startled from their shopping as dozens of bags suddenly crashed into the sidewalk, along with the rear of the unicorn that was holding them.
“I’m about to be murdered, aren’t I?” Bocce whimpered, tears forming in his eyes.
“No,” Fleur said, putting her hoof over his shoulders. She did not notice Rarity’s eyes go pinprick. “…You’ll just be grilled over what you know about Sea Swirl’s time in…”
“Yes,” Rarity interrupted, “Yes you are going to die.”
“Viscountess Aquafina Aquarius!”
They turned around and saw several guards they had passed the previous block run towards them.
Aquafina turned around and trotted back as Bocce stood.
“Can I help you, gentlecolts?” she asked.
“Viscountess Aquarius, you are under arrest,” the lead guard said coming to a stop, “Please come peacefully.” The other guards circled the group.
They gasped. Aquafina’s eyes went pinprick and scurried backwards into a wall of steel. “Wha Wha Wha why?” she stuttered.
“Yes. What’s going on?” Rarity said, trying to step forward.
One of the guards lowered his polearm across to block the way, “Don’t interfere miss if you want to continue your freedom.”
Fleur put her hoof on Rarity’s back. She looked over and saw Fleur mouthing “don’t do it”.
Aquafina whimpered and tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Ma’am,” one of the guards jingled his cuffs, “Don’t make a spectacle.”
Aquafina bit her lower lip and nodded. She dabbed her face with her handkerchief and looked over at the others, “How’s my mascara?”
Fleur and Rarity nodded.
Aquafina then took a deep breath. A mask of calm came over her as she turned her nose up, “Then let us depart.”
The three watched her trot off with the guards as if nothing was wrong.
“Sea Swirl…” Bocce said trembling, “We need to find Sea Swirl… Make sure she got on the train.”
“Train?” Fleur walked forward to look him in the face.
“Why did we split up?” he whimpered, “Why did I leave her?”
Fleur put her hoof to her mouth, “Don’t tell me…”
“Don’t worry Bocce,” Rarity said with a determined glare as if she was facing down teenage dragons, “Celestia knows if my friends and I are good at anything it’s pulling a Deus ex Machina from under our collective tails. Let’s go.”
~~***~~
“The whole of Canterlot knows of your family’s ‘condition’. But that does not give you the right to imprison a legal adult, daughter or otherwise.” Black Marble said, pointing his gavel at Trident and Aquafina. He then leaned back in his chair placing his hooves on the pedestal, “No bail will be set because of flight risk. This investigation does not preclude any action by the military for the assault on the Wonderbolts.” He slammed his gavel down, “Next case!”
Trident and Aquafina were dragged away. Fancy Pants was rudely shoved out a side door. It slammed behind him.
He arrived at the ground floor, and found Sea Swirl waiting with her baby in a side saddle ringed by two layers of guards. Fancy Pants tried to walk up to her, but was stopped at the first line.
Hearing the commotion, Sea Swirl turned and saw him.
“Uncle Fancy!” She pinwheeled and dodged through the unsuspecting guards. She hugged him and put her mouth to his ear. “11%,” she whispered loudly as a unicorn guard dragged her away with his magic.
Fancy Pants was forced into the wall and held there as the unicorn fashioned his magic into a collar and leash. The guards closed rank and marched out the double doors, the only clue that there was a civilian within the wall of steel was the cries of a baby.
After several minutes, Fancy Pants was let go and he existed. A small crowd of nobles, including Jet Set and Upper Crust were across the street. He smiled seeing his wife. His smile vanished as he spotted tabloid reporters, reporters he recognized from a paper Dark Horse had a stake in. Cameras began to go off.
Fancy Pants walked across the street once the carriages cleared.
“Duke Fancy…” a reporter began.
“For all that is sacred and decent, some things do not belong in the tabloids…” he turned to the nobles, “…or to be whispered about over crumpets and tea.” He tried to force his way through to his wife but the press got in the way, almost encircling him. Fancy Pants knew they were leaving him a way to back up to avoid giving him legal cover if he pushed forward.
Fleur knew the dance well. She flipped her hair three times. Fancy backed up into the street drawing the press with him. He stopped half way as Fleur walked through the crowd and circled the cameras.
“Gang way!”
A taxi barreled through the street. Fancy stepped back. The press jumped back onto the sidewalk. Fancy Pants vanished as it passed him.
By the time the press realized what had happened, the taxi had rounded the corner. Some chased after it. Others turned to question Fleur dis Lee, but she was gone as well.
The reporters rounded the corner, but the taxi was gone. Only carriages calmly walking back and forth.
Fancy Pants peaked out the curtains as the carriage rolled past the way it came. “And my parents thought that illusion spell was a waste of time growing up,” Fleur chuckled. Fancy tapped the front window, “Good work as always, Wheeler. Tell that to Iron Bolt and Steel Javelin as well.”
Wheeler tipped his top hat, briefly revealing a horn.
“That was an impressive spell,” Rarity said looking across to Fleur, “I’m sure Twilight would be impressed. But I assume you’ll want to keep it a secret.”
“Of course,” Fleur said, surprisingly somber, “I would rather not anyone know I can do such high level spells.”
“How come?” Bocce asked.
“Let’s just say my mother has Sea Swirl’s full sympathies and leave it at that,” she said curtly.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
“So darling,” Fancy Pants smiled, “Who is the rather chipper fellow?”
“Allow me to introduce Bocce Boules, nephew to the Coneys of Manehattan. And the father of Sea Swirl’s baby.”
“You look very young for your age, Sir Bocce,” Fancy Pants said, “No more than 25.”
“I’m 26, sir,” Bocce said defensively, “And I know what you’re gonna say. I’ve heard it all before. Sea Swirl is 34. I don’t care.”
“Then why didn’t the two of you run off together when you had the chance?” Fancy grilled.
“She didn’t… I didn’t… She didn’t know what to do. I forgive her.”
Fancy Pants leaned back and closed his eyes, “She gets pregnant, panics and comes home. She is too far along or refuses to do anything to the contrary. She hides it with at least the staff's help, maybe even her parents’. But then she decides against adoption at the last minute and contacts you, correct?”
“Yes… when I told my father and showed him the letter, he kicked me out. Said if I was old enough to be a parent then I was old enough to be alone. I was living with my relatives in Manehattan at the time. That’s why the tickets were for there.”
Fancy Pants sighed, “Sorry for the grilling, young stallion. Old lawyer habits.”
“I heard Pétanque crying in those guards, what’s happening?”
“The baby’s name I assume?”
Fleur put her hoof on Bocce’s. She nodded, “It was his grandmother’s. Lady Sea Swirl left her unnamed until today.”
“I will not parse words: it is grim,” Fancy Pants said. “After escaping, with I assume your help, she was intercepted by Trident’s guards at a restaurant. The Wonderbolts were eating there and it turned into a brawl. The guards spilled their guts without even a plea deal, morons. Now there’s more than enough evidence that young Sea Swirl was held against her will, even without Sea Swirl’s cooperation.”
He hung his head, “They are looking at a maximum of a decade, and that’s even with noble status. For peasantry it would be 25 to 50.”
Rarity gasped. Fleur tried to calm a whimpering Bocce.
“Sea Swirl is being held as an uncooperative witness. House arrest apparently, but she won’t be able to even take care of her privacy without a spear to her ribs after what she pulled today.” He looked back up, “She saw me in the hallway and made it through the guards. She whispered ‘11%’ in my ear before she was dragged back and magically shackled.”
“What does that even mean?” Rarity asked.
Fancy Pants furrowed his brow, “Dark Horse is blackmailing Trident to sell by Friday or they do a hostile takeover first trading Monday. Blarney was in there talking to Sea Swirl. He’s been obsessed with her since prep school. He must be trying to get her to marry him as a way to save her parents, and whatever 11% means is how to stop it.”
“By Friday or on Friday?” Rarity asked, “Because if it’s by Friday… That’s only 24 hours.
~~***~~
“Hello, Uncle.”
Poppycock pulled his swing at the sudden noise. He turned and glared at Blarney as his golf mates chuckled.
Blarney pinned his ears back, “Sorry…”
He calmly walked over, put his arm over his nephew’s shoulder and turned back to his golf mates, “Excuse us a moment.” After tightening his arm around Blarney’s neck, he dragged him towards a nearby tree while the others now laughed audibly. Nearby golfers turned to look, then joined the snickering.
They walked behind the tree. Then Poppycock promptly shoved him into it, “I just lost 40,000 bits on that shot thanks to you.”
“Sorry Uncle, but I have news you need to hear.”
“It better be worth 40,000 bits.”
“Lady Sea Swirl offered some gossip in exchange for a few hours to think over the offer. It’s so good I had to take it.”
It took all his willpower not to raise his voice, “She’s been locked up for three months. Whatever she just gave you is for the garbage divers and stray animals to eat.”
“The Element Bearers were in the restaurant with the Wonderbolts but left early. They probably even passed the security guards walking down the street. They were gabbing about the dark mage.” Blarney grins, “His horn’s been deliberately sheared. Seems he and his filly tried to escape the palace but failed. Doesn’t sound like the royal line to me.”
Poppycock grinned, “And when was this?”
“This morning. Sounded recent, like they had been captured just before lunch.”
Poppycock rubbed his chin, “It takes about 15 minutes to walk to the palace from that restaurant. Give an hour for processing, about 10:45 for recapture. Better make it 10:30. He must be very cunning and powerful, he was previously injured during capture and probably had every magic-blocking lock known to ponykind, and yet he made a mockery of the royal guards. They probably underestimated the daughter as well, her being so young.”
He lowered his hoof, “Yes… Yes this is worth more than 40,000 bits.” He smiled, but his tone was far from happy, “So how much time did you give her?”
“I told her to have a dress by noon tomorrow.”
“Decent…” Poppycock bobbed his head, “So. Did you sow that little bit of false information like I told you?”
“Yes. I told her Trident already split the stocks to include the baby. By the time Fancy Pants and Bearer Rarity figure out they needed to buy 22% of the company instead of 11% it will be too late.”
“Excellent. And with the tips to those paparazzi, their stock will be less than dirt by Monday. Never hurts to knock off an extra million or two. I’ll start spreading that gossip around the golfers. You can start in the country club. But Blarney…” he paused for emphasis, “Remember the goal is not your obsession with Sea Swirl but her family’s company. Mixing business with pleasure is dangerous. Be prepared for her to say no tomorrow if she believes what you told her.”
Chapter 13: Crimson Waves
Chapter 13: Crimson Waves
A solar and lunar guard stood at Celestia’s bed. They watched the two giggle in their sleep and Celestia open and close her mouth with her tongue hanging out.
“What do you think they are dreaming about?” the lunar one asked.
“Princess Luna is probably inducing a cake dream to lighten her mood judging by the drool…” the solar one said shaking her head, “Probably safer to wake Luna first.”
~~***~~
“May you and Majin Buu never get in a sweet off,” Vegeta shook his head, “I don’t think there is enough sugar in the entire universe.”
Celestia was horn deep in sweets while Luna had her hooves to her mouth giggling. “We think your mother-in-law will be catering any future diplomatic visits.”
“Considering my wife burns water, that’s probably a good thing.”
Luna continued to giggle, “We never knew insults could be so funny.” Suddenly Luna stopped laughing and looked behind her.
Vegeta put his hands on the armrests and leaned forward. “What is it?” he said seriously.
“We are sorry, but we believe somepony attempts to stir us.”
“Awe…” Celestia moped.
Vegeta raised an eyebrow, “You do realize that when you awake your stomach will be empty?”
“Thou art talking to a pony that still dreams of ice cream castles and cotton candy clouds.”
Celestia blushed and glared at Luna. “That was supposed to be a secret!” she blew crumbs from her mouth.
“Then I think we should part,” Vegeta said standing, “We’ve been here some time, and if you're being woken up then the doctors will be doing the same for me shortly.”
Luna stood and opened a portal behind her. “Very true. Come sister, we have much work to accomplish.”
Celestia nodded. Then grabbed one last cupcake in her mouth before trotting away.
The portal closed.
Vegeta shivered in disgust. “Bluwa,” he thought, “I need a shower and a nice rare streak after that conversation.”
~~***~~
Luna and Celestia opened their eyes at the same time. Celestia raised her head only for a pasty, sucking sound to come from the pillow and long strings pulling from it dangling from her face.
“Ewe…” she cringed.
“We think you need a bath sister,” Luna giggled.
Celestia wiped her face with her foreleg, “What is it?”
“Word of today’s incident has spread outside the castle,” the solar guard said, “We have yet to ascertain the source of the leak. The nobles and ambassadors are in an uproar and are demanding an explanation.”
Celestia’s jaw dropped.
“Oh no…” Luna shook her head, “What other news?”
“We have compiled the full report on today’s happenings, but we have not been able to get the statement of a guard we cannot locate. Princess Celestia, who was the guard you sent to deliver the message to wake Princess Luna?”
“I sent no such message,” Celestia said confused.
“We were awakened by a guard saying thou had given the message to wake us, deploy more medics and move Princess Bulla?”
Celestia twisted her head to look at Luna, “I did no such thing?!” She turned back to the guards, “Are you sure everypony is accounted for?”
“Yes, princess.”
Celestia put her hooves on her temples, “Oh. No no no no no. Don’t tell me one of the changelings escaped!”
“None of the changeling detection wards have triggered,” the lunar guard said confidently.
“I deactivated most of the inner wards.”
“YOU/THOU DID WHAT?!” the three scream.
“My cloaking spell triggers it. So I turned them off.” She lowered her hooves. “And the reason for this is not of your concern or anypony elses,” she ordered, “Do you understand?”
The guards swallowed at the glare. “Yes, Princess.”
“Thou left the outer ones?”
“Yes. …He’s still in the palace!” Celestia leaped off the bed over the guards and slid to a stop in front of the bathroom, “Luna, you’re in charge of the changeling. You two brief me on everything you know about the leaks.” She shut the door and turned on the water.
Luna lay back down on the pillow.
“Princess Luna?” the solar guard asked.
“We’re going back to talk to Prince Vegeta,” she said, closing her eyes.
~~***~~
Vegeta was standing at the gas barbeque on the patio. He dreamily took a deep smell of the smoke as his twin steaks marinated in the seasoning and spices.
Suddenly he heard a gasp behind him. “Art thou cooking meat?!”
Vegeta slammed the lid down and spun around. “What are you doing back here so soon?!”
Luna took a breath to steady herself. “We have learned that one of the bug ponies you killed survived your fire and is loose in the palace. We wanted to know what happened in your encounter.”
Vegeta lowered his eyebrows. “How do you know there’s a survivor?”
“The guard who relayed a false message from my sister has been determined to be a changeling by process of elimination.”
“It used the message to cause a distraction to slip past the guards, then?”
Luna nodded.
“It’s been hours. It’s probably gone by now if it knows what’s good for it.”
Luna shook her head, “No. We have Changeling detectors in the palace ever since the invasion. None have triggered, so it is still in the area.”
She was surprised to see him hang his head in seeming defeat and sigh through his nose. Vegeta turned around and opened the lid and began tending the slabs of cooking flesh to her cringing.
“Then I suggest you begin looking behind furniture. It’s probably lying dead somewhere from its stab wound.”
“Stab wound?”
“One of the bugs defended me from the others and got shish kebabed on the horn of their leader for its trouble,” Vegeta slammed this two-pronged trident-like thing into one of the slabs for effect.
Luna flinched.
“I wrapped it in some of my bandages and carried it towards the entrance. Anything after that is its doing. That’s all I have to say, so you should leave. Unless you have a morbid fascination with the dissection and consumption of your fellow herbivores.”
Luna took several steps back, “No. No. No. That’s alright. Thou eat, and we shall inform others of this information.”
Luna opened a portal and quickly jumped through.
~~***~~
Luna raised her head from the pillow. “Such a different demeanor,” she thought, “Although it was far more similar to our first interaction. Was he simply acting to dissuade Tia’s anger? What is this creature?”
“Are you all right, Princess? You’ve come back so quickly,” the Lunar guard asked.
“Has my sister left?”
“No, your Majesty. You have only been gone a few moments.”
Luna nodded and got off the bed. She walked over to the door and knocked, “Tia. We’re coming in.”
She walked into the steam filled room. “Tia?”
“I’m in the shower!” she called out, “What is it?”
Luna trotted over to the glass shower stall, “We just spoke to Prince Vegeta. He knows about the survivor.”
“What did he say?” Celestia shouted over the water.
“He said that a changeling was almost killed by its brethren for protecting him. He sacrificed some of his magicked bandages for it, but believes if it is still in the palace, it may have found a quiet place to die.”
Celestia turned, opened the door slightly and stuck her head out, “You’re kidding me? Please tell me you’re joking?”
“In his defense, he may have felt honor bound to assist. And it does show he possesses kindness, dear sister.”
Celestia hung her head and her wet hair slid over her face, “… so be it… Contact the doctors. Tell everypony we need him alive and to treat him gently and with patience.” She closed the door and returned to the showerhead.
Luna tip-toed out of the bathroom.
She took a deep breath, “Do you know where Captain Stone Wall is?”
“He has taken personal lead against the dark wizard,” the sun guard said, “He should be near the hospital ward.”
Luna nodded then with a flash of her horn, disappeared.
~~***~~
“You’re rather cognitive for somepony who just came out of sedation,” Captain Spearchucker said.
“And utterly rude,” Cadence said.
“I was about to enjoy a steak I’ve been marinating,” Vegeta lifted his head and glared at the doctors, “You. Do. NOT. Interrupt a Saiyan warrior, WHEN HE IS EATING MEAT!” Suddenly his eyes dilated and he set his head back on the pillow. He took several deep breaths.
“Well, you won’t be eating anything but hay and jello for the foreseeable future,” Captain Spearchucker said sternly.
“And you will be engaging in no carnivorous activities while I remain head of castle security,” came a thick Appalachian accent.
Vegeta lifted his head and saw a gray unicorn in dull armor with a ruffled coat, brown mane and tail, plus…
“Ponies with facial hair? Only Earthlings…” he thought, rolling his eyes.
“One would think the teachers who taught you to speak grammatically correct would have worked to erase your hick accent,” Vegeta said, laying his head back down.
The soldier walked in, with a creaking noise.
Vegeta looked back at him and noticed his right front hoof is armored differently. “Is that an artificial leg?” he thought.
“I think you need oiled there, Tin Man.”
The doctors in the room all cringed and instinctively backed away from the bed.
The gray pony with the false leg trotted over to the bed, “What did you just call me?”
Vegeta smirked, “Called you Tin Man there, soldier.”
Suddenly Luna walked into the room, “Captain Stone Wall?”
“Princess Luna!” all the soldiers turned and saluted.
“Stonewall?” Vegeta thought, looking at him. His jaw dropped slightly, “Stonewall Jackson. Wow… the dragon really must have run out of names to pick people from a zombie movie…”
“Captain, a changeling has escaped from the dungeons but is severely injured. Our sister and w-I, want it captured alive and treated fully of its wounds. It is to be handled gently and with patience.”
He saluted, “I will relay the orders momentarily.”
“Aweeee. Have a heart there, Tin Man,” Vegeta said with feigned concern, “There’s someone hurt out there all by his lonesome.”
Captain Stone Wall spun around and stormed up to the bed. He stared down the devilishly grinning prince. “Stop calling me that! What part of my attire makes you think of something as useless on the battlefield as tin?”
Vegeta’s smile instantly vanished, “You’re joking right? You’ve never heard of the Wizard of Oz?!”
“I am but a simple soldier who has spent my whole life in service of my country. I have no time for obscure foreign history.”
Vegeta growled in frustration. “It’s one of the most famous movies in existence! How have you not even heard of it, you country hick!”
“It may be famous in your kingdom, Prince Vegeta.” Cadence lectured, “But it does not mean other kingdoms know of it.”
Vegeta looked at Luna, “Luna, back me up here.”
“I am sorry,” she shook her head, “I have not heard of this wizard either.”
Vegeta moaned, “What’s the point of insulting someone when they don’t get the reference!” He laid his head back on the pillow.
“Well,” Luna said, “With that over with, we must return to the changeling.”
Captain Stone Wall saluted, “Yes, your Majesty.”
“Before you go, Captain…”
Everyone turns to Vegeta.
“The Tin Man and his three compatriots are the heroes of the story. On a mission to defeat the evil witch and her armies and free the land of Oz from tyranny.” He gave a small smirk, “Not as big an insult as you think.”
~~***~~
“Achoo!”
“Bless you.”
“Thanks. So how did you end up working in the palace?”
“Family tradition,” “Bean Counter” said to his new buddy as they trotted down the hallway. He thought this pony was an almost exact duplicate of himself, except being a unicorn, and with reverse coloring. And gender.
“This pony is just spewing energy,” it thought, “I could be a stallion and still be getting this much. I’ll be healed enough to escape by the end of the day.”
“So what brings you to the palace, Number Cruncher?”
“Internship, same as you.”
“How much longer do you have?” Bean Counter asked.
“Almost over, I’ll probably be leaving tomorrow.”
“Awe…”
The changeling could feel the energy plummet. “I do have the option to have an extension,” she said quickly, “If you’re going to be here, I might just apply for it.” She took a few steps closer to add innuendo.
Bean Counter blushed, “Shouldn’t things start out as friends first? I mean, we just met.”
“Fair enough,” Number Cruncher said, returning to her original distance. “Shy as a stick in the mud,” she thought, “ The energy isn’t returning to normal. Looks like I will be here a few days.” She looked him over. “Will be a nice change of pace though after serving soldiers as a lady of the night.”
~~***~~
“Well if you’re done poking me, I would like to return to my barbeque,” Vegeta growled.
“That will have to wait,” Captain Spearchucker said, “You must stay awake in order to measure cognitive responses.”
Vegeta snarled, giving a predatory growl.
Cadence returned it to everyone’s surprise, “Out of all the ungrateful… You… You almost died! DIED! And this is how you treat us?! Maybe if you were possessed by dark magic your behavior would be expected, but your sclerae are as white as the summer sun!”
Luna walked around the bed, “We all have felt the sting of his tongue, Cadence.” She turned to Vegeta. “Prince Vegeta, remember your wishes expressed to us while dreamwalking. We cannot proceed with them until you have recovered sufficiently. Please obey the doctors. The sooner you recover, the faster it can be implemented.”
Vegeta closed his eyes and hung his head. “On one condition,” he said after an extended silence. He opened his eyes. “I’m hungry. I have been nothing but hungry since I came here. I want to be fed as a Saiyan would be fed. If not in content, then in calories.”
“You will be fed as a patient in critical condition would be fed,” Captain Spearchucker said sternly.
Vegeta tried to turn his head, but pain ripped through his lower neck as he twisted too far. His eyes screamed and his lips curled back as he clenched his teeth. His heart monitor accelerated.
“Prince Vegeta! Please lay down,” Captain Spearchucker ordered, “We did not secure your neck because it is uninjured. But if you continue to pull on your shoulders, that will change.”
Vegeta laid his head down. His breaths became deliberate. Quickly his heart monitor returned to normal.
“You have an unusual mastery of your body for somepony who was not a pony a few days ago,” Captain Spearchucker glared at him suspiciously.
“And yet I am laying here in ICU after losing control of said body to the point of not only almost killing myself but two members of your royal family,” Vegeta deadpanned, “Riiiiiiiight. I’m just the model of self-discipline.”
Captain Spearchucker took a deep breath and let it out slowly through his nose. “You have a feeding tube inserted through your abdomen. You will have it for four days before being reevaluated. If you are found capable, you will be allowed to test eat. If you can handle it, then it will be removed.”
“My body has proved a hybrid. Saiyans eat pounds of food at a time and in a few hours the body has consumed all the nutrients within and must eat again. I don’t know how deep your understanding of metabolism is, but keep a close eye on it. It is not what you think I need. It is what I actually need. I am not a disease to be cured. I am not an aberration to be expunged. I am a Saiyan.”
“That was a strong statement over something as simple as food,” Captain Spearchucker said.
Vegeta snarled again but Luna beat him to vocalizing.
“Captain, obey Prince Vegeta on this. It is not a matter of gluttony. His race is one of great nutritional need. Keep a very close eye on his blood levels. Do not treat him with diabetic medicine or any other metabolizing potions or spells. His body is reacting naturally.”
Captain Spearchucker bowed, “Yes, your Majesty.”
“So what are these lovely tests?” Vegeta said in his normal sarcastic tone, “Reading, writing, arithmetic, singing?”
“Singing?”
“In some species language and singing are controlled by separate areas of the brain. Many individuals with speech disorders or brain damage have overcome it by singing.”
“I see,” Captain Spearcucker tapped his chin before lowering his leg, “An interesting procedure but no. The tests are magic based, like a neurological knee-jerk test.”
“So basically, you go into my head and tune it like a piano, ah no. I rather like my brain.”
Luna smiled sympathetically, “Prince Vegeta, w-I understand your fear being a past victim, but I promise you these tests are no geas. Your personality will remain perfectly intact.”
“Fine…” Vegeta sulked, “What’s involved?”
“I place a scanning spell over your head. Then I will ask you to imagine yourself performing the movements I ask and I judge the response.”
“Keep my head on the pillow?”
“Yes,” Captain Spearchucker said, walking around the bed. “Pardon me, your majesties,” he said, softly hanging his head.
The princesses backed up and he came around to be face to face with his unruly patient.
“Now close your eyes and relax. Do not fight the sensation. It takes the acceptance of the subject for this spell to take effect.”
Vegeta turned his gaze to Luna.
She saw him holding his breath. Luna smiled softly and nodded.
Vegeta gently breathed out and hesitantly closed his eyes.
Captain Spearchucker’s horn lit up in a soft gray hue. Magic washed over Vegeta’s head. His face muscles twitched as he struggled for several moments before he went limp.
Luna stood there, focusing on the procedure so closely she missed Cadence’s attempts to get her attention until she pressed into her so hard her hooves skidded. Luna gasped and looked down at the shorter mare. Cadence motioned with her head towards the door. They walked out.
“What is it, Princess Cadence?” Luna said, turning around to face her.
“Has the prince really been subject to a geas?”
Luna nodded, “Yes. His fear of magic stems from that event.”
Cadence shook her head, “Forced geases leave marks upon their victims. I sensed no such wounds healing him.”
Luna put her hoof to her chin, “That is odd…” She lowered her hoof after several moments, “But his nightmares give credence to his story. Something did happen to him.” She tilted her head down thinking, “The world he comes from is full of powers nopony has witnessed before. We think it’s logical that whatever spell was upon him would not leave scar patterns we would recognize.” Luna’s face turned aghast, “I think! I think!”
Cadence chuckled, “Your secret is safe with me.” She became serious again. “What did he mean by ‘a disease to be cured’ and an ‘aberration to be expunged’?
“Prince Vegeta’s title is a relic of his birth. He is one of less than half a dozen of his species still existing. His people slaughtered. Himself, a souvenir for the killers, a slave.”
Cadence’s jaw dropped, “Princess Celestia never said those things!”
Luna sighed, “She doesn’t believe him on many things. But at least this farce has proven he means no harm.”
“What about you?”
“I…” Luna sighed, “We do not know. That he was turned into such a creature does not speak well of him, but his acts of selflessness and care contradict his very existence. We believed he may be reformed. Taming Discord did not rob him of any of his vast power. We believe it is the same for the prince.”
Cadence lowered the tilt of her head, thinking. “But his eyes are as white as snow… If he is not possessed by darkness. Then he is darkness.” She raised her head, “The extinction of his kind. He may be playing the victim.”
“Princess Cadence!” Luna gasped, “Thou art the element of love.”
“I am also the ruler of the Crystal Empire. If King Sombra had non-geased followers, would they not claim the unjust overthrow and murder of their beloved leader?” She hung her head, “I know this sounds harsh from the voice of reason through this whole mess. But I’m starting to understand Princess Celestia’s panic now…”
“But he is reformed— Princess Cadence,” Luna said sternly. “Judge him by his current actions, not of his past or his ancestors.”
Luna went to reenter the room but almost ran into Captain Spearchucker coming out.
“Pard…” she saw the doctor looked frazzled. “Doctor, what’s wrong?”
He furrowed his brows. “Princess Luna, I do not trust that… creature, not one bit.”
Luna placed her hooves together and raised her head high. “Report.”
“For the first part of the test, he showed an utter misunderstanding of what his body is. His mental projection resembled an unenlightened animal rather than a sentient species. Completely unarticulated skeletal and muscular systems, skull structure, brain size . I have never been so insulted in all my years.”
“That statement does not justify your conclusion,” Luna said sternly.
“I took control of the projection and corrected his form, and we tried again. His efforts were all wrong. It took far too much brain power. Messy, uncoordinated, sometimes even the completely wrong muscle groups. I concluded he had severe brain damage. When I commented that I could not see how he could have shown such cognitive responses with such damage, he grew angry. The spell is supposed to isolate the doctor from the patient, but I could almost feel his emotions. I assumed it was a reaction on my part to his aggressive posture, so I said for him to show me his real form…”
“What he displayed was not possible. Even in the slow motion of the spell, his movements were invisible. No matter how much I slowed it, even to the very limits of the spell, it was invisible.” He took a breath, “After I asked him to deliberately slow his movements, he displayed flexibility his structure should not have allowed. His physical control was also too great. With barely a flicker on neurons he was performing too complex of moves, they weren’t even reaching his higher brain. Everything was instinctual, lower brain if not auto-response from the spinal cord. I accused him of fabrication. We got into an argument. I said show me…”
He hung his head, “My… my mistake. He showed me a battle. He had to be a colt, a young colt, very… very young colt. Alone against a large army. Tens of thousands. A city, four or five times the size of Canterlot. Weapons, large battle machines, magic I’ve never even dreamed of, or had nightmares of… I was standing next to him. Seeing every death in slow motion. First the soldiers, then civilians. His fire magic, it left nothing. Then… the colt turned to me. It attacked. At some point the prince had taken full control of the mind spell. I don’t know how. The battle wasn’t in slow motion, but real time. I…”
He sniffled, “I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. He was obviously playing with me, like a cat and a mouse. Such a young face… but those eyes . Right before the death stroke, the vision ended and I was back in the projection exam space. I got to my hooves, physically I was perfectly fine. Then I heard ‘Do you doubt my abilities now?’ behind me. I jumped and saw him walk up to me as an alicorn. He chuckled at my fear and said ‘Never insult a Saiyan warrior again.’ I ended the spell right there.”
He lifted his head, “If what he showed me was a fabrication, then he has the mind of a psychopath. But if,” his voice started to choke, “if his current body is a hybrid, his dark magic is the last of our worries. That thing is a demon. No stone or Tartarus cell can contain him. Only death, like the monsters of old. But even then, I’m not sure that is even enough.”
“All that in just a couple minutes?” Cadence asked dumbstruck.
“It’s a variant of my dream walking,” Luna said, “Time flows very differently within the mind. Especially during memory projection. A day’s events can be communicated in an instant.” She turned to the doctor, “Stay here.” She trotted into the room.
Vegeta watched her walk around the bed. “I assume you're upset about the doc pissing himself?”
“Tis the understatement of the millennium,” Luna said sternly, coming to a stop in front of his head. “We attempt to shelter and protect thee, and then thou doesth things as this. Word of the dungeons hasth reached the nobles. Some demand your death. Others accuse our sister and us of inhospitality, but those are plummeting fast as acceptance of thy darkness becomes believed by greater numbers. Why did thou do this?”
“He insulted me!” he fumed, “Said my skill was a fabrication. A lie. When I said my skill has been honed since I was a boy, he did not believe me. So I showed him my first battle. I was three years old.”
“He said thou attacked him within the mindscape.”
“Just driving home the point. He was in no danger. I learned my lesson from you.”
Luna hung her head, “Did thou truly kill children?”
“Yes,” he said bluntly.
“And you feel pride in this action?”
“It’s…” he paused, “… more complicated than that…”
Luna raised her head, “What is there to be ‘complicated’ about?!”
“My people were a warrior race. War- ior is simply a person who makes war. One that practices the fighting arts but has never fought in war is no warrior. Marauders, pirates, Vikings, my ancestors had been laying waste to star systems longer than the ages of those same stars by the time Frieza’s empire expanded over our territory.”
Vegeta shook his head, “Real life is never good versus evil, Princess. Only medium gray at most against pure black. My race is bred for battle, death is in our DNA. Even those who have seen heaven did not do so by an abstention from death but only by killing those whose deaths the gods approved of more often than not. I want my children to be proud warriors, but I also want them to see heaven,” he hung his head slightly, “If… If that makes any sense.”
“Would thou repeat such an action today?”
Vegeta raised his head. “Never. I’d rather die,” he said vehemently. Then he looked down and chuckled. “Which I have proven on more than one occasion,” he said looking back up.
Luna took a deep breath. “Yes. Yes thou have. Have thou communicated such things in the scrolls Princess Twilight Sparkle submitted?”
“Wars for colonization and resettlement imply that the former tenants have been removed one way or another.”
“We will not lie. The chaos thou hath caused hath left little time for reading. Our sister’s pact was made unknowing…”
Vegeta’s poker face completely disintegrated.
“… But we art a nation that believeth in redemption and second chances. This will distress her heart, but shalt not affect her decision of trust.” Luna moved to whisper in his ear, “But do not reveal thy unrepentant heart as such again, knave. We forgive, but our memories last longer than the sky above, and our justice is as relentless as the oncoming tides.”
Vegeta bowed his head, “Yes… your Majesty.”
Luna pulled back and smiled, “Good. Rest well, Prince Vegeta. Supper will soon be upon us. The doctors will be watching thou closely.” She walked out the door.
Vegeta allowed his head to sink into the pillow. “Well…” he mumbled, “at least Bulla is out of danger… that’s one good thing you’ve accomplished, you son of a bitch…”
~~***~~
Cadence backed up from the door. “Well?” she asked.
Luna gave a firm smile, “Prince Vegeta will not be pulling such behavior again.” She turned to Captain Speakchucker, “Do you wish to be debriefed? We can arrange for a counselor.”
“No. But…” he paused, “I would like him transferred to the care of another neurosurgeon.”
“It will be done,” Luna nodded, “And a counselor will still be available if you change your mind.”
“Thank you, Sire,” he bowed. “If you would excuse me, I must make his records ready for transfer.”
“Oh. Yes, of course,” Cadence moved out of the way and he trotted swiftly down the hall.
“Princess Luna… I think Princess Celestia should hear about what just happened.”
“We agree. Come,” Luna said, trotting down the hall with no hesitation over her accent.
Chapter 14: The Woman in White
Chapter 14: The Woman in White
On the other side of Canterlot, there was a fly on the wall. Actually, several. One in each room.
“This is so boring…” Discord thought.
“Tell me about it….” Discord #2 answered.
“The argument this morning was fun,” Discord #4 mentally said.
“I want to see that clicker machine in action again,” Discord #7 mentally kicked himself, “I had no idea what that was until I heard ‘Message sent’.”
“At least we know it’s lightning based,” Discord #5 mentally said.
“This machine in the basement is bugging me,” Discord #3 mentally said.
All the other Discords giggled.
“Ha ha ha,” Discord #3 thought, “This lightning maker is clearly jerry-rigged to use magic as its power source. I want to know what it uses for real.”
“Oh! Oh! Oh! Clicker going off!”
In the room, a griffon that had been at a desk walked over to the table, picked up a piece of wood and a wax tablet, then put a claw on a lever with a black knob and gave several clicks. Then the rod began moving on its own and the griffon began pressing letters into the diptych.
“What is it saying?” Discord #1 asked.
“No clue,” he answered, “I don’t read Griffon. Just trying to take a mental picture for Luna.”
The clicker then stopped moving and the griffon closed the diptych, headed to the door and passed it onto a soldier.
“That’s your cue,” Discord #7 mentally said.
“On it,” Discord #6 began buzzing along the ceiling following the soldier. He followed for several turns. “He’s heading for the Ambassador’s office. Breaking off pursuit.”
Praetor Irmhild was sitting at his desk in full military uniform, his son, Legatus Ermendrud, sat along the wall without clothes and a gladius before him on a red velvet pillow.
The door swung open. The griffon extended his right front claw, “Hail the Emperor.”
Irmhild raised his claw in response. “What is it?” he said, lowering his leg.
The soldier walked forward and placed the diptych on the desk, “Wireless message. High priority.” He then raised his claw one more time before leaving.
“Wireless?” Discord #4 thought, “That would mean there is a wired version.”
“But what wires?” Discord #1 thought, “At one end is the lightning generator and the other end of the wire is that ridiculously large flag pole.”
Irmhild opened the diptych.
“What is the emperor’s decision?” Ermendrud asked.
“Wait… the Griffon Empire is on the other side of the ocean?” Discord #4 mentally said.
Discord #2’s jaw dropped. “They are communicating without magic! How? What other medium could they be using other than magic to transmit over the aether?! And why haven’t I thought of it!”
“We are invited to a grand feast in celebration of a new treaty. The emperor is recalling the entire staff and transferring all of us to the new embassy for this kingdom. The zeppelin will arrive in three days with the new ambassador and staff. We are to turn over the embassy without ceremony to expedite our arrival.”
Both Ermendrud and Discord’s jaws dropped.
“Wha…What about last night? My dishonor before the Princess? The loss of the fallen?”
“He said the fallen is of no matter. That the gods have given our nation the ability to right ourselves in their presence,” he plopped the wax tablets on the desk, “Quote.”
“Th-That can’t be real,” Ermendrud said in disbelief. “He’s going to pluck the lot of us.”
“Then we face our deaths with honor,” Irmhild said standing, “Gather the staff for a meeting. And keep a straight face. I don’t want them knowing we suspect otherwise.”
“Celestia needs to hear this,” the Discords thought in unison.
“Keep an eye out for a chance to sneak away,” Discord #3 mentally ordered, “We’ll regroup in the alley behind Donut Joe’s.”
~~***~~
“And that is your entire report, Captain Spitfire?” Celestia asked, looking over the documents in her magic.
“Yes, that is everything that occurred at Donut Joe’s.”
Celestia put her elbows on the ornate desk in the side chamber and rubbed her temples. “Well, at least we know where the leak about the prince’s condition came from,” she said, putting the papers in a pile with her magic.
Spitfire stiffened further, “Ma’am?”
Celestia dropped her hooves, “You and your unit are not in trouble, Captain. You are dismissed.”
“Princess,” Spitfire saluted and marched out.
Raven straightened the desk stacks, “Do you want to summon Pinkie Pie, your Majesty?”
“No!” Celestia said exasperated. She coughed into her hoof. “I mean no, it is not necessary at this moment in time. But could you arrange for copies of the court papers to be brought here. Also send a few guards to interview the employees serving at the time of the incident. We need to know who they talked to and the identities of the customers.”
“Sister? Art thou free?” they heard outside the door. Then a loud knock came, “Princess Celestia! We have urgent concerns about Prince Vegeta.”
Celestia turned to the door, “Come in.”
The door burst open and Cadence charged in, “Princess Celestia! Prince Vegeta assaulted a doctor.”
“What?!”
“Princess Cadence,” Luna said sternly, “While unpleasant and inexcusable, it does not constitute assault.”
“What happened?” Celestia demanded.
Luna stepped in front of Cadence, “Captain Spearchucker did not believe the abilities Prince Vegeta demonstrated during his mental examination. During the ensuing argument, the captain said ‘show me.’ So he deliberately projected into his mind one of his more graphic battles. It hasth shaken the good doctor greatly.”
“Children!” Cadence stuck her head out around Luna, “He has killed children. He boasts about slaughtering cities without remorse.”
“That… That is not the stallion I just spoke to.”
“Sister, we believe he is reformed like Discord. Whatever crimes he committed in the past, he has no desire to repeat and every desire to prevent others from following his previous example.”
“Marauders, pirates, Vikings. That’s what he called his Saiyans. Said they were murdering longer than the age of the stars in the sky.”
“Princess Cadence?! Thou were dropping eaves?”
Cadence walked around Luna and confronted her, “Yes, I was. And it was you that said ‘What is complicated about killing children?’ when he showed pride in his actions. Not just no remorse, but Pride .”
Suddenly Discord teleported into the room, “Celestia! You’re not going to believe this.”
“Discord, just the creature I wanted to see,” Cadence said.
“Oh?” he said, floating to the floor.
“I was about to use you as an example in an argument,” she turned back to Luna, “Prince Vegeta’s past crimes have come to light by his own mouth. But Princess Luna still claims he is reformed even though not only does he show no remorse for his acts of murder but feels pride in his murders.” She turns back to him with a smug look, “I’m sure as somepony who is actually reformed, you can correct this.”
Discord was uncharacteristically still. “It’s… more complicated than that…”
Cadence was gobsmacked. Her eyes widened and jaw dropped in a silent scream of ‘What the buck?!’
“And what do you mean by that?” Celestia said standing from her desk.
Discord turned to Celestia. “Don’t get me wrong. But I am more than a spirit of chaos,” he took a dramatic pose, “I am chaos. Pure chaos right down to my mana filaments. Chaos is what I do and I take great joy in it.”
He crossed his arms, “I am very proud of my past accomplishments and still laugh as I look back at them. I have no regrets, excluding getting turned to stone. But would I repeat those pranks today, no. Not because I see them as wrong, but because at this moment there is something else in my life that I also enjoy that is in some way juxtaposed to chaos, and I’ve had to make a choice. Do I still cause a great deal of mischief: Yes.”
He raised his fist triumphantly as a mini storm cloud thundered behind him, “Is my imagination constantly filled with greater and greater cacophonies that would surpass any of the past triumphs,” he raised his voice with the lighting and thunder, “Absolutely. Am I going to follow through on my master plans?” he lowered his arm and the cloud popped out of existence. “No,” he said normally, “Because I’ve made a choice.”
He turned to Cadence, “Prince Vegeta is a god of war. No different than you ladies are the day, night and love. War is one of the ultimate acts of chaos, so I have a better understanding of him than most. War can be an act of aggression but also an act of protection. I assume from the context that Prince Vegeta was once an aggressor but now has switched priorities?”
“Prince Vegeta has slaughtered children,” Cadence said, trying to mask her fury.
“I think I’m going to need full context here,” Discord said, crossing his arms again.
Several minutes later…
Discord put his claw to his chin, “Hmmm. Vegeta’s comment about good and evil definitely shows cynicism, but also an admission of guilt. But I think you are overlooking one detail, Princess Cadence.”
“Which is?”
“Who the buck puts a three-year-old alone on the battlefield?! Raising a child to be a son of a Diamond Dog is one thing, but at three ? Who cares if the brat is physically capable of slaughtering millions!” He began to jump up and down like a toddler’s temper tantrum, “Three! Three! Three! Three! Even the Griffons and Minotaurs wait until eight or nine before they allow them to kill animals, and teenagers for sentients.”
“We believe Griffons are an appropriate facsimile to these Saiyans,” Luna said, “They are what he would call a ‘warrior race’. Aggressive, violent, steeped in blood and proud of it. Not until my sister defeated them in my absence did they cease their relentless conquests. But still today many mercenaries and raiders come from their species. If this spell did not specifically say ‘pony’ he might have been turned into one.”
“What about what I discovered about the geas?”
“That is something to be looked into, Cadence,” Celestia put her hoof on her shoulder, “But sometimes as rulers we must dance with the devil.” She sighed, “Prince Vegeta is definitely a son of a Diamond Dog, as Discord so eloquently put it. But for all his faults he is a loyal protector and has offered his friendship. I know I asked you to look into his heart, and the darkness you found is concerning. But that does not change what was revealed about his character when he broke his horn to protect us from the darkness you witnessed within. He is as terrified of himself as the rest of us.” She smiled, “It might ease your heart to know that his request during the dreamwalking negotiations was for his magical locks to be put back on once he was medically able.”
Cadence stomps her foot. “I’m not scared of him. I think he’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”
“A gravely injured wolf in sheep’s clothing,” Celestia lowered her leg. “He will be bed ridden for quite some time. If Princess Bulla’s estimation on how soon she would be found is correct, he will still be in care by the time his friends come.”
“True,” Luna smiled, “Prince Vegeta spoke very highly of the one called ‘Cat-co-rot’.” She tapped her chin, “He seems to be a stallion who values friendship above all else.” She lowered her hoof, “He intrigues us greatly.”
Cadence rolled her eyes, “Is this Cat-co-rot another Saiyan?”
“Princess Cadence?!” Celestia gasped, “What’s gotten into you? You’ve never acted like this before!”
Cadence stuttered, “Wha-I-don’t-I…” She gasped, “You’re right! I’ve never acted like this before.” She sat and put her front hooves to the sides of her head, “Oh my goodness, have I accidently been exposed to dark magic? Does Prince Vegeta have an aura?”
“No he does not,” Luna said, “But we have noticed changes in behavior. Ponies are in less control of their emotions these past few days. Their minds and dreams are going places never traveled before.” She looked at Discord, “Have thou felt anything?”
Discord shook his head, “Nope.” Then he chewed on his claw-thumb’s talon, “But after what I just saw, I’m really starting to question my self-perception.” He lowered his claw. “You’re not going to believe what I saw at the embassy! It was so unbelievable,” he took his eyeballs out, breathed on them, then rubbed them on his chest, “I had to check my eyesight.” He stuck them back in his head. “They are doing magic without magic! They were even communicating with Emperor Aurelius in real time. No fire scrolls, no teleportation. Not a slightest ripple in the aether, and yet everything was working! Luna, we need to do a dream walk together with Celestia.”
Cadence’s jaw dropped, “You were spying on the Griffons?! Wha… Why!”
“Because I committed a major dishonor against the Ambassador’s family. And their clan is more than powerful enough to start a war even without the emperor’s consent.”
“What did you do to them?”
“Do you remember little Dalibor, Cadence?”
She smiled and nodded, “Of course. That little rascal couldn’t sit still if his life depended on it.”
“Dalibor deliberately failed his coming of age seven months ago. He became a slave to the Ambassador’s son and I confiscated him as soon as an opportunity presented itself. He is a high value political symbol. There will be death of one form or another at the end of this, and I do not want it to be that brave young male.” She looked at Discord, “Discord is the only one who can get in and out unnoticed. Ignoring this technology for the moment, what are they planning?”
“Emperor Aurelius’ message said that the loss of the fallen, which I assume is this Dalibor, does not matter and that the entire staff is being transferred to a new embassy in a kingdom they just made a treaty with. The staff swap is in three days.” Discord lowered his brow and acted serious, “The message said that this treaty has given them the chance to right themselves with the gods, Celestia. But all their gods are in one way or another gods of war. Even the goddesses of sex and childbirth carry sword and spear. The ambassador and Legatus think it might be a ruse to bring them quietly to their deaths, but if it’s true, they are sending to this nation experts on Equestria.”
Celestia looked down thinking, “It takes five days to cross the Coltlantic by military airship. If this is a war treaty, it predates Dalibor.” She looked up, “Get word to our embassies in Prance and Trottingham. They would have gone through their airspace.”
“What about the Nordic Eyries?” Luna asked, “Their nations are the old tribal clans but modern generations view griffons as griffons, Germane or otherwise.”
“Good thinking Luna. But since this is just a staff change, they shouldn’t be advertising that route if they plan to use it to skirt Western Eulope for a surprise attack.”
“But I don’t understand one thing,” Cadence asked, “We have been at peace for 500 years. Why now? What’s changed? They were defeated so easily by one alicorn. Now there are four plus Discord,” she pointed at him.
“We know thou will not like this Cadence, but we think we should bring Prince Vegeta into this discussion,” Luna said raising her hoof, “Let us explain. When Celestia and us visited his dreams he showed us a glimpse of his world. They are as advanced if not more so than we are, and yet they have little magic.” She lowered her brows, “They have found a way to use griffin fire as a substitute for magic.” She looked at Celestia lowering her hoof, “We know you said it is knowledge that Equis cannot afford, Sister. But what if it is already too late? Their great stacks already burn firestone.”
Discord put his claw to his chin again, “I don’t see how griffin fire could be used to power what I saw. But whatever it uses, it was jerry-rigged to use magic and rather temperamental about it too. I got to watch it being repaired while a backup thingy picked up the work. It was making nonmagical lightning for the clicking machine they were communicating with.”
“Oil and electricity,” Celestia said, “Yes, we need to bring Prince Vegeta in on this.” She looked at Luna, “Any news on the changeling before we go?”
“None. Any news on the leak?”
“Pinkie Pie!” Celestia growled. “We’re tracking down the ponies she talked to. But so far no direct link to any nobles or embassies.”
Discord rubbed his hands eagerly and chuckled, “Oh ho~ho, I can’t wait to ask Vegeta who or what it was. What type of monster could it be?”
Everyone looked at him. “What are you talking about?” Celestia asked.
“Well, think about what we know of him.” Discord appeared in a college professor’s sweater, black nerd glasses with the white nose bridge, and a green chalkboard behind him with a projection screen rolled up at the top. A balloon web chart was drawn on it.
“Since coming to this ‘Earth’ he’s only fought in a handful of battles, all in its defense, but previously war was part of his daily life.” He put his claw’s finger on Cadence’s nose. “But you say he’s reformed.” He returned to the chalkboard, “If he was a slave forced to kill against his will, this change is predicable.” He rolled the board over revealing a second one underneath, “But you say he enjoyed the act. A crown prince raised for violence and power. After his species was destroyed and himself enslaved, yes, he was fearful of his masters, but not enough to stop him from scheming their downfall for decades before implementing it. If someone tried to stop his lust for death and power by offering friendship, he’d laugh and kill them if they were weaker than himself or patiently scheme like he did while enslaved if stronger. But something Stopped. Him. Dead. — pun intended” he added proudly. “It would be like if you and your sister never touched the sun and moon the rest of your lives.”
“He did witness Hades upon his first death,” Luna said.
“No, he continued his murder spree afterwards without the slightest hesitation. He only stopped after spending time on Earth.”
“Maybe his mare?” Celestia asked.
“Vegeta was a power hungry tyrant in ascension. He viewed all individuals as tools to be used and discarded.” Then a pink book with a stallion on the cover appears in his hands, “It’s not like these lovely novels you keep hidden from Shining Armor by using fake covers, Princess Cadence. Where a criminal falls in love while under a false identity…”
Cadence gasped and the book vanished in a blue pop. She looked at the wall trying not to blush.
“Well, as I was saying,” Discord continued, “Vegeta never hid who he was. Any mare that would fall for him at this stage of life would be highly naïve or just as ambitious. Something stopped a god of war, a god of death and made him play nice. Something scared the shit out of him. Something even the flames of Hades could not do.” The board slammed shut and the projection screen unrolled. Discord then gave the string a tug and the entire board rolled up with the screen before it disappeared in a pop. He smiled as his clothes vanished, replaced by a worn top hat with a price tag in it on his head, “I want to know what this is.”
~~***~~
“Achoo!”
“Oh, sweetie. You are worrying yourself sick,” Mrs. Brief said to Bulma, who was sitting on Bulla’s bed crying into her daughter’s Twilight plushie. “Baba said those nice ponies saved Vegeta from those wolves and Bulla was with that pony she likes with the diamonds.”
When Bulma did not look up, Mrs. Brief walked from the door and sat next to her. “They are all nice, safe and warm in one of these lovely thatch cottages,” she poked a town house with her cane. “Or maybe that big castle,” she pointed at the Canterlot toy city with her cane. “Or even they’re in pony France with that lovely Eiffel Tower,” she pointed at the toy Crystal Palace.
“Mom… That’s the castle for the Crystal Empire…” Bulma mumbled.
~~***~~
All the mares in the room got a few shades lighter.
“Yes… I see your point, Discord…” Celestia said.
“Good. I’ll meet you in his room,” Discord said. His body faded away until only his smile was left. Then it disappeared with a pop a few moments later.
“What would you like me to do, your Majesty?” came a shaky voice.
Celestia turned around surprised. She had forgotten Raven was still in the room. “Go fetch those court papers like I asked,” Celestia said, failing to hide her own nerves.
Raven nodded and scrambled out the servant’s door.
~~***~~
Vegeta was dreaming. He knew he was dreaming, but he could not get a grip on it from the outside.
“Aurgh!” Vegeta growled. “Fine! Be that way!”
Vegeta looked around. He was in a black space, but he was standing on a solid surface. He was in Saiyan form, dressed in his white and blue uniform.
Suddenly a strong wind came from his right and began pushing him, almost blowing him off his feet.
“Alright! Alright! I get the hint!” he shouted, skidding across the ground.
The wind lowered to a strong breeze, but continued to blow. Vegeta kept his back to it and followed where it was guiding him.
But after several minutes, he still saw nothing but black. He turned to face the wind. “Where are you taking me?” he growled.
Suddenly the breeze turned into a violent whirlwind filled with something white beating against him.
Vegeta covered his face with his elbow and ducked down. He could feel the impacts through his clothes. If it was not for the armored cloth, it would sting. Suddenly one of these objects lodged under the sole of his boot. He picked it up with his free hand. “A feather?” he thought. Then he noticed the black center and looked at the tip.
It was cut.
“An Earth writing feather?”
The moment he thought that, the whirlwind returned to a gale and blew the feathers away.
Vegeta watched them fly off before a light opened in the dark, shining down like a spotlight onto the surface. He stood as they turned vertical as a vortex pulled them into the light and vanished. His feather yanked free and caught the tail end of the breeze, but the wind ended before it could be swallowed by the light and gently floated back down. It hit the ground, and caused ripples spreading out not much farther than the light’s hard edge.
Recognizing his dream’s destination, he jogged over and knelt at the edge of the pool. He shouted in surprise and fell on his rear. He clenched his eyes and took several deep breaths through his clenched teeth letting them out in puckered bursts. Steeling his heart as little as it could be, he crawled back over to witness what he knew from experience he must endure.
A Saiyan toddler was throwing a temper tantrum in the dead of night at his door. Vegeta knew the tear-choked boy in his onesies holding his stuffed Oozaru all too well.
“I want my Daddy! I want my Daddy now! Now! Now! Now!”
“We have sent another message to the king, Prince Vegeta,” the guard pleaded, desperate not to join his smoldering, but still breathing colleague in the new entrance into the hallway. “But he may just order you to just go back to bed again.”
“What in the full moon?!”
“King Vegeta!” the guard dropped to his knees.
King Vegeta walked into view in his black fur robe and looked at the hole in the wall and the guard in the rubble. Then he turned and glared at his son through the door. “Are you three the only ones who have witnessed this farce?”
“Yes, Sire,” the guard behind him said.
“You two. Get your comrade to recovery, now.”
“Yes, Sire.” The guard got up from his knees and he and his partner pulled their moaning comrade from the wall. They each draped an arm over their shoulders and carried him down the hall.
King Vegeta filled the entire door frame glaring at his son. Then he raised his arm.
There was no scream. Just a flash, a shock wave and the smell of burnt flesh.
Vegeta stood stiff like his father taught him when scared as King Vegeta stormed in. The king loomed over his son, completely in a dark silhouette. Then he felt pain in his face and went flying through the air. Vegeta stopped himself with his energy before he impacted the wall, but promptly fell onto his head.
“Owe…” he said, rubbing his head. He looked up at his father. He had his arm outstretched pointing upwards. Then he clenched his fist and lowered his hand grunting.
The very fabric of the universe ripped asunder for the boy.
His daddy… just struck him?
“What did I tell you…” King Vegeta growled, turning to him, “What did I tell you about crying?!” He pointed out the door, “I had to kill three good men because of you!”
“Cr… Crying? But I’d never… It’s cowardly,” the prince sniffled.
King Vegeta bristled with rage, “Then why is your face covered in snot and tears?!”
Prince Vegeta rubbed his eyes with his left arm, “Eye water makes my nose run, Father.”
King Vegeta’s nostrils flared as he suddenly picked up his son and sat him on the edge of his bed. He knelt and looked him in the eyes, “Tell me that you know that ‘eye water’ is crying?”
“Wa…?” Prince Vegeta’s mouth hung open.
His face told his father everything he needed to know and he put his face in his elbow and growled, “Aurgh! Gods, what child have you given me?!” He took a deep breath in and out. “Ok let’s save that conversation for the morning…” King Vegeta said standing. He crossed his arms. “Now what is this about?”
“Someone is going to kill you, Father! I saw it.”
King Vegeta growled a sigh, “Vegeta. Do I look like a ghost to you?”
“No, but…”
“Then why did you scream for me if you knew it wasn’t real?”
“But it was real!”
“Then how am I standing here!”
Vegeta jumped up and down, “It hasn’t happened yet!” He stopped and glared at him. “But it’s going to happen,” he sniffled, “You need to stop it.”
“You seriously think you had a vision of the future?”
Vegeta nodded, “Just like the other super Saiyans from your stories.”
King Vegeta sighed. “And why do you think this wasn’t a dream?”
Vegeta hesitated, “It… It didn’t feel right. Everything about it. It wasn’t a dream.”
“I think it’s time to begin your mental training.”
Vegeta tilted his head, “What’s mental?”
King Vegeta sat on Vegeta’s bed. “It means your mind,” he said, tapping his head. Then he patted the mattress, “Sit.”
Vegeta obeyed and climbed next to him.
“Vegeta, I know the great legends tell of the gods speaking to the Supersaiyans in dreams, but do you really think the gods spoke to them every night?”
He shook his head.
“Vegeta, there are many types of dreams, each with their own feel. Just because you never had one like this before doesn’t mean it was from the gods. Once you've been trained, you’ll be able to see the difference. But as of right now you are too young.” King Vegeta stood, “But that will change starting tomorrow. So go back to sleep.”
“But, Father! Don’t you want to know what it looked like? Just in case? Just because I…”
“Vegeta!” King Vegeta raised his arm.
Vegeta cringed bracing for another slap. After several moments, he opened his eyes and saw his father lowering his arm.
“Vegeta. If you ever see me getting killed in another dream, no matter what the creature, know immediately that it is false. Do you honestly believe anything is capable of killing me?”
“Not…” he sniffled, “Not till tonight.”
“Vegeta. Nothing can kill me. Always remember that.”
“Yes sir.” Vegeta looked towards the door. “Did you really have to kill them?”
“I did not kill them, Vegeta. You did.”
“What?! But I didn’t do anything! You…”
“Vegeta!” King Vegeta growled.
Vegeta cringed and stopped talking.
“Vegeta. Physical strength is not the only aspect to ruling. You must also have strength of personality. I did not inherit power from my father. I gained mine through making others believe my judgment could be trusted. And the main way of doing that is,” he tensed his shoulders and clenched his fists, “Not Showing Cowardice! One act of weakness will haunt you your entire life.”
King Vegeta raised his fist then threw his arm to the side, “This crying fit would have destroyed any chance of you becoming king. No one can be allowed to witness any moment of weakness. If any situation can be remotely viewed as an act of weakness,” he lowered his arm, “it must be dealt with before that information can spread.” King Vegeta pointed at his son, his index figure inches from his nose, “You and you alone are responsible for those men’s deaths. Always remember this.”
King Vegeta turned and walked out of the room.
Vegeta leaned back as the pool darkened. A tear rolled down his cheek.
“But it wasn’t just a bad dream, was it, Father? The creature I saw… It was Frieza.” He looked up into the light, “Why are you showing me this? What’s the point?”
The pond brightened in response and Vegeta looked back down. He saw an image of his living room. Bulma was on the couch with the remote in her hands clicking through the channel guide screen.
Vegeta noticed her hair.
“She hasn’t had a perm like that since before Trunks was born,” he thought.
Vegeta walked into the room in shorts gripping a towel hung across the back of his neck.
“You haven’t showered,” Bulma said, not looking back.
“I just came in from outside!” Vegeta barked. “The ship is back that way. The shower is up ahead.” Then he caught a glimpse of the program playing in the upper box. “What the hell are you watching?”
“It’s Holy Week for Christians. So, there’s almost nothing but religious programming on for the next few days.”
Vegeta rolled his eyes. “Oh yes, remembering the day your kind murdered one of your own gods by painting eggs and eating bird and rodent shaped candy. Makes perfect sense.”
”Next on the Seven Deadly Sins…Gluttony” the commercial spoke..
“What is this planet’s obsession with the number seven? Seven days in your week. Seven colors in your rainbow. Heck, most female jewelry I’ve seen has seven foci to it.”
“It’s magical in most cultures, mainly because it is the number of planets that are visible with the naked eye.”
“I highly doubt Kami chose to make seven dragon balls because humans needed a telescope to see…”
“Vegeta!”
“Neptune. I was going to say Neptune.”
“I can hear your smile from here,” Bulma said, not turning around.
He chuckled, “If I was asked to sum up Earthlings in one sentence and said they named one of their system’s planets Uranus, no one would believe me. So… what are these sins that the gods will throw lightning bolts at you if you do them?” he asked with a barely more serious tone.
It was Bulma’s turn to roll her eyes, “It’s a list of seven behaviors that if you let them control your life, it will harm you and those around you. No lightning bolts included.”
“So what are they?”
“Umm…” Bulma clicked forward through the guide, “Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, Pride.”
“Sounds more like a personal check list of yours than a list of things to avoid.”
This finally got Bulma to turn around, “Look who’s talking, Mr. Pride and Wrath.”
Vegeta grinned, “Flattery will get you nowhere.” He walked off. “I’ll be in the shower!” he called back.
“O-kay … That was random,” Vegeta said as the pool went dark.
*Paparapapa!*
Vegeta was thrown backwards like a ragdoll by the percussion of the spell. He skidded and rolled across the ground, finally coming to rest on his back.
“Babidi,” Vegeta coughed, gripping at his chest as the familiar pain screamed through his body again. He struggled against his body’s twisting and writhing. He could feel his teeth crack from clenching his jaw to not give the bastard the pleasure of his screams again.
Then Vegeta saw a white light coming from the direction his body was pointing. He painfully forced himself to roll on his side and tilted his head to see.
Vegeta thought he had hit his head worse than he initially thought, as he could not focus on the being walking towards him no matter how hard he tried. In the fleeting moments of clarity, the white smear shifted between a human woman in a sparkling white slip and short red hair, and a very tall white unicorn with a red mane of the same cut.
*Paparapapa!*
Remember who you are
* Paparapapa!*
Remember who you are
* Paparapapa!*
Remember who you are
The whirlwinds returned, violently lifting him into the air. Vegeta reached for the ground only to see a pair of black hooves instead of his white gloves. Suddenly finding himself back as a pony, he was at the mercy of the gale, unable to use his energy to right himself. His normal screams came out as desperate neighs and whinnies as he flailed his four legs and wings to no avail as he somersaulted higher and higher.
R E M E M B E R
~~***~~
Vegeta snapped open his eyes and gasped for air. He could hear his heart monitor screeching.
“Oh thank goo—Prince Ve—What happe— did you see?”
It took Vegeta several moments to realize that the jumbled sentence was actually several different voices. His eyes finally focused, revealing Princess Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Discord? was it?, and several doctors and nurses, even Captain Spearchucker.
“His heart rate is returning to normal, his vitals are stabilizing,” he heard a voice sighing behind him.
Vegeta noticed Luna’s horn and Discord’s hands ceased glowing. “Did… Did you two do that to me?”
“Nay, Prince Vegeta,” Luna said, “We were trying to rescue thee, but even combined could not pierce the veil. A powerful magic was cast upon thee so thy vision would proceed unhindered.”
“Vision…?” he said between pants, “Ok which one of your goddesses… is a white unicorn with red hair so… I know who… to punch for that nightmare?”
“We have neither god nor goddess of that description,” Celestia said. She looked at Discord, “Are you sure the magic was harmonic in nature?”
“Celestia, I haven’t felt pain like that since being blasted with the Elements of Harmony.” He held up his hands showing they were horribly burned. “On a related note, I’m going to faint now.” He turned into a goat version of himself and bleated, falling on his back.
But his front legs were still burned.
“Discord,” Celestia scolded, “Be serious so we can treat your arms!”
Vegeta watched him turn back to normal and the nurses begin cleaning his wounds. He saw him wobble. “You have internal injuries, maybe neurological.”
“I’ll just need to rest for a few days,” he said, “Whoever said ‘opposites attract’ never dealt with magic.”
Vegeta furrowed his brows, “Then the unicorn who induced that nightmare is your enemy?”
“Not necessarily; the princesses and the girls wielded harmony magic as well, and now we’re just peachy.”
“But no living being can physically contain the full fury of harmony magic,” Celestia lowered the tilt of her head, “This unicorn must have an artifact of some kind. We should send somepony to check on the tree and see if the elements are still embedded.” She looked at him, “What exactly did you see? You described it as a nightmare.”
“Just random memories with the unicorn’s voice repeating ‘Remember who you are’ at the end.”
“Maybe there is a pattern that we would recognize that you would not. Please go into full detail,” Cadence ordered.
Vegeta rolled his eyes, “Fine. It’s your sleep tonight.”
Several minutes later…
“Your father murdered his own guards… because they witnessed a child’s crying?” one of his door guards stuttered in disbelief.
“That was only the beginning…” Vegeta said solemnly, “When I refused to say who else had seen me, my father simply threw a party for the household staff and then blew up the building, blaming the attack on political rivals. He didn’t even need to have trials; once he released the names, vigilantes had killed them and anyone even remotely related to them within the hour. Though I wouldn’t put it past him to have slipped some men into the riots to make sure no one escaped.”
“Your father was a mad stallion!”
Vegeta chuckled, “I’ve dealt with far worse individuals than my father. He was actually considered too kindhearted and weak by his peers.”
Celestia interrupted the next outbursts by the staff, “The night I assume was the first of many prophetic dreams, and then a lesson on what to your wife’s kind are the equivalents of elements of sin. These are all tied to your magic, but I don’t see a specific message being conveyed.”
“With Prince Vegeta’s skill at dream manipulation, perhaps this pony believes these lessons are the key to controlling his dark magic,” Luna said.
“This ‘remember who you are’ is troubling me. And I know what you two are going to say!” Cadence cut Celestia and Luna off, “The obvious conclusion is to remember you are reformed and to not give in to the darkness, but I can’t help but think there is more to it.” She looked at Vegeta, “Is there anything you’re not telling us about the geas?”
“Weeeeeell…”
“I knew it,” Cadence thought.
“I could mention how I had the misfortune of not going to the lavatory prior to the battle and the obvious consequences while writhing in agony as it was applied.”
Vegeta smiled as his comment had the intended effect. He felt he was getting good at guessing pony facial expressions, at least obvious ones like revulsion and disgust.
Luna coughed into her hoof, drawing everyone away from their imagination.
“The quills used to draw him in could be a clue to this mage’s identity,” Luna said turning to Celestia, “I would like to be in charge of this.”
“Of course,” Celestia nodded. She turned to the doctors, “How soon until you rule him fully stabilized?”
“After that near heart attack, I’d say 30 minutes minimum. I’m sorry, your Majesties, but you will have to postpone your meeting,” the doctor’s voice said behind him.
Vegeta furrowed his brows looking at Discord, “What do you need?”
“You are perceptive as always,” Discord chuckled. “But it requires a visit to the dreamscape and I doubt you will…”
“If it will not affect my condition, then we should get this over with.”
Discord smiled, “You’re just a glutton for punishment, aren’t you?”
“Nay, Prince Vegeta,” Luna said, “You should know better than most the perils of mind magic. Your brain must rest. This matter, though urgent, is not worth your health.”
Vegeta closed his eyes, “How is my daughter?”
“Princess Twilight and the Bearers are keeping her mind occupied and her tummy full of candy and cupcakes,” Celestia said, “but I fear court business has prevented us from obtaining a more recent update.”
“Well…” Vegeta closed his eyes and adjusted his head in the pillow, “No news is good news I guess…”
Suddenly a solar guard knocked on the door, “Forgive me, your Highnesses. But Secretary Raven says you asked to be informed when the court papers about the riot this afternoon arrived.”
Vegeta opened his eyes. “There was a riot… in happy rainbow glitter farts ponyland?” he said in disbelief.
“Prince Vegeta,” Cadence scowled, “A stallion in your position should not be so quick to insult others.”
“Yes sister, what tis about?”
“I’m sorry Luna, but as I am involved in the investigation, you need to stay away in case of appeals.” Celestia turned to the staff, “I must take my leave of you. You have gone far beyond the call of duty caring for the prince. I am very proud of you, my little ponies.”
Vegeta rolled his eyes as Celestia exited.
~~***~~
In the barracks, Aquafina and Trident were waiting in a meeting room, sitting side by side. Their faces lowered but defiant. Then the door opened. Blarney walked in.
“Well, when I got your request for representation, I was actually speechless,” Blarney sat across from them at the table. “But I assume we are here not just to discuss your arrest?” He grinned, “ I’m sorry to say a hold has been placed on your bank accounts. There are workarounds of course, but I fear dealing business the old-fashion way with paper and bullion will limit what can be paid to only 55% of our original price.”
“That is not the only reason my wife and I summoned you,” Trident raised his head. “I assume your visit with my daughter was to blackmail her into marriage?”
Blarney shook his head, “Tisk. Tisk. Tisk. Blackmail is such a dirty word. I simply explained her current predicament and recommended one of several solutions we discussed.”
“She will never say yes you know.”
“That would be… an unfortunate decision.”
“What if we made it a more likely discussion?” Trident said.
“Oh? And how will you accomplish that?”
Aquafina spoke up, “We’ve discovered the name of the father. Do with that information what you will.”
“I assume once you take control of my company, you will be selling it to your partners in the Holy Gryphon Empire?” Trident added.
“And why would that have anything to do with your decision?” Blarney’s grin widened, already guessing at the innuendo.
“Well, I assume a— species, of their persuasion would take a different business approach than we would.”
Blarney nodded, “Of course. As a multinational corporation, Dark Horse works within many disparate cultures.”
“We will give you the name on one condition,” Aquafina said. “Your tastes in mares and methodology have been whispered about for years.”
“I’ll have you know those rumors are baseless and disgust me to no end,” he said indignantly.
Aquafina lowered her gaze and chuckled, “Well, in any regards, our condition is this:” She looked up in an icy glare, “Don’t. Hold. Back.”
“On either of them,” Trident added. “I don’t know your lower limit, but I hope having to wait a short time won’t negatively affect your decisions on these matters.”
Blarney nodded, “I see. So what is the name?”
“Bocce Boules of Ponyville. Tan unicorn with black hair and brown eyes, a bocce ball with a green stripe as a cutie mark. He will be with Duke Fancy Pants, Fleur dis Lee and possibly Lady Rarity. He is actually,” Aquafina shuttered in disgust, “nouveau riche , so he could be dressed as either peasant or nobility.”
“Do you know his business?”
“The lower’s 10 pins abomination.”
Blarney stood, “Thank you for the information. Dark Horse will finalize our arrangement and will be in touch with you tomorrow morning.” He trotted to the door then turned around, “I will also see about our lawyers defending you. After all…” he grinned, “We are family .”
He opened the door with his magic and walked out.
Chapter 15: Caramelized Curls
Chapter 15: Caramelized Curls
In the hospital wing, Princess Luna has set up a makeshift office in a room across the hall from Vegeta’s.
“An unknown healing spell? Can you trace it?”
“I’m sorry Princess Luna,” Captain Hawkeye said, “But none of the staff has witnessed anything like this before. It appears to have a nexus next to the heart, but there’s no object there to serve that purpose. It seems to have altered his blood somehow. His tests not only don’t register it as equine, it no longer registers as anything. It has no magic signature at all, and yet this change has triggered his rapid healing. It is not natural.”
“Vegeta’s species has no internal magic,” Luna thought, “And Twilight’s scan at the cliff gave the same result.”
She put her right hoof to her mouth to cover a yawn. “Excuse me,” she said, lowering it. She stood, “Let’s go see what this is then.”
She walked across the hallway.
Vegeta was lying with his eyes closed.
“Hello, Princess Luna. Let me guess, there’s something wrong with my tests…”
“How did thee know it was us?” she asked, surprised.
Vegeta opened his eyes slightly, “Your horseshoes sound different than the others.”
“Th-You could tell by such a small sound?”
“Even the slightest of noises can be an assassin in the dark,” Vegeta smirked, “Or give you away if you’re the assassin.”
“I see,” Luna said curtly. “A stallion as yourself would notice such things.”
Vegeta raised his head off the pillow. “Any elite warrior worth his salt should notice such things.” He placed his head back down, “So what’s wrong with the tests?”
“The doctors hath noticed something off and asked me to examine.”
“Well get on with it. I am your pincushion.”
“Thy wife must have the patience of a saint to put up with thy sarcasm,” she walked around the bed.
“Nah. It’s actually been one 20-year-long argument,” he smirked.
Luna lowered her glowing horn, “We shalt not begin to understand thee.”
“Probably for the best.”
Luna raised her head. Vegeta saw the perplexed look on her face.
“Well?” Vegeta’s voice quivered slightly.
“Tis vexing,” she said, confused. “But we cannot deny the results.”
“Which are?”
“There is a trace of harmony magic within thee. It is healing thee rapidly, but the exact spell is unknown. I believe it is suppressing thy magic and elevating thy native powers. When thee first came, the blood thou left at the cliff reacted as if it did not exist when it was tested, but by the time of your bath it acted normally. Thy blood is again acting as if it does not exist. If thy healing powers are as thou describe in thy native form, this accelerated healing could be a predictable outcome.”
“Why would it react like it’s not there?” he asked, just as confused.
“All things possess magic in this world. The thought of something naturally not having it has never been encountered.”
Vegeta furrowed his eyebrows, “It’s invisible… Tell me. The alarms and warning systems this nation has. If…”
Luna’s eyes widened. “It would not trigger,” she cut him off. “Oh dear.”
Vegeta closed his eyes, “That’s what I was afraid of…” He opened them again, “So how soon will I be out of here now?”
“It is too soon to tell,” Vegeta heard Captain Hawkeye from farther off, probably near the door. “But in this short time there has been a very noticeable difference. We will need to observe this phenomenon for some time before we can make any predictions.”
“So how many more checks do you feel comfortable with before you plot the curve?”
“Wha…?” he heard.
Vegeta rolled his eyes, “You’re talking to the husband of the woman who invented time travel. You don’t live in dorkville for two decades and not pick up some numericables .” He crosses his eyes and sticks out his tongue out the side of his mouth.
“That’s not…”
“If you could see his facial expression doctor, you could see his sarcasm.”
“Ah… Forgive me, your Highness,” the doctor bowed his head.
Vegeta rolled his eyes, “Has it been 20 minutes yet?”
“30 actually,” Luna said, “But Discord is doing poorly. Your intuition was correct on more serious injury. But now that we know about this spell, I hesitate exposing him to it so soon. Allow us to discuss with him before we decide.”
Vegeta watched her trot out of sight and heard her leave the room. Then he thought of something.
“Hey Doc?”
“Yes Prince Vegeta?”
“When’s food?”
Vegeta can tell it will not be a good answer by the hesitation.
“Unfortunately…”
“Yep, called it, ” Vegeta thought.
“… With your blood work ineffective, it is safer to feed you on a normal schedule than on the accelerated one you requested.”
“How soon then?”
“Exactly an hour and a half. It is 4:30.”
Vegeta sighed, “This has to be the longest afternoon ever…”
~~***~~
“Ah, here we are. Canterlot’s Royal Company House.” Fancy Pants said as the carriage came to a stop. “Stay in here. I’ll be back shortly.” He hopped out of the carriage and trotted in.
The clerk looked up from her book when the doorbell rang.
“Hello, Turtle Dove. How are you this fine afternoon.”
“Hello Fancy Pants,” the white earth pony with blonde hair smiled, “Royal Seal thought you would be by, so we pulled a copy of Blue Skies Air Yachts’ certificate, bylaws, and stock history.” She tapped the first of several stacks of books.
“Truly? By Celestia that’s wonderful. Tell Royal Seal thank you for me.”
“I will,” she said ducking under the counter. She came back up with a clipboard in her mouth. She set it down. “Just fill out the checkout papers and you’ll be on your way.”
Fancy Pants smiled and trotted over to the counter. He picked up the quill and began signing his name for the list of books. “So tell me, how’s your sister Dainty Dove doing in Manehatten?”
“Quite well, thank you for asking.”
“That’s good to hear. Tell her Fleur and I look forward to dinner when her fashion shows bring us to Manehatten in three months.”
“I will.” Then she scowled. “Fancy Pants…”
He froze and looked up.
“I don’t care much for Aquafina and Trident after what they’ve done. But I do care about Sea Swirl. Do whatever you can.”
Fancy Pants nodded. “I intend to.”
~~***~~
Above the working floor, Royal Scroll peeked through his office’s curtains out over the room. He watches Fancy Pants leave with the books in his magic.
He let go of the blinds and they snapped back into place. “He’s taken the books,” he said, turning back into the room.
“Good,” Poppycock smiled, “With that enchantment on the final pages, he’ll never know there was never a stock split to include the baby.”
~~***~~
Turtle Dove walked out with Fancy Pants and waved goodbye as the carriage pulled away.
Unbeknownst to everyone, someone else was watching the carriage pull away from the rooftops.
~~***~~
Vegeta snapped his eyes open. “What was that? ” he thought at the shiver that just went down his back.
Vegeta raised his head at the knock at his door. He saw Luna smiling, “Discord is prepared Prince Vegeta.” She walked into the room. Behind her a bed was rolled in.
“You look like crap,” Vegeta said.
Discord chuckled, “I’ve had worse.”
“Neurological?”
“Close. The mana filaments in my arms are burned all the way into my shoulders and back.”
As Discord was positioned, Celestia walked in. “You have a detailed eye, Prince Vegeta. If you had not spoken up, Discord was just going to push through the pain thinking it was temporary.”
“I haven’t been told what you need me for yet.”
“That must wait until the dreamscape,” Celestia said.
Vegeta looked at the door, “No pink one?”
“Nay, Princess Cadence will not be joining us for this sojourn,” Luna said.
Celestia lay on the floor. “Doctors. Leave us.”
They all bowed and walked past.
Luna positioned herself next to her sister. “Is everypony ready?”
“As I’ll ever be,” Vegeta placed his head on the pillow.
“Yep,” Discord said, shuffling into his pillow.
“Then let us begin,” Luna said, flashing her horn.
~~***~~
Celestia, Luna and Discord stood before the Gryphon Embassy.
“Wait,” Celestia looked around, “Where is…?”
“Up here.”
The three looked up and saw Vegeta hovering in the air. Celestia and Luna cringed realizing he was wearing a leather jacket.
Vegeta landed.
“So, this is what you really look like,” Discord chuckled, “You’re one odd looking bastard. And I know odd.” He walked over and circled him, “I have never seen clothing like this either.” He lifted Vegeta’s arm, “What on Equis are you wearing?”
Vegeta ripped his arm away. “My motorcycle jacket and boots, blue jeans and a red t-shirt.” He turned to the building. “So, what am I looking at?”
“This is the Holy Gryphon Empire’s Embassy,” Celestia said, “I recently gave a prominent political dissident sanctuary here in Equestria, and greatly dishonored the ambassador’s family in the process. They are a proud, predatory species bound by honor.” She glanced at Vegeta, “Much as your own kind.” Celestia turned back to the building, “I asked Discord to watch over the embassy to gauge their reaction, but he saw things he could not explain, except with ‘Magic without magic’. Since your kind’s technology is described similarly, I wanted your opinion.”
“Then let’s get started. Where to first?”
“I’d say the machine in the basement,” Discord said, “It was making non magical electricity to run the other things.”
Vegeta nodded. Then he noticed the huge flagpole. He walked over and put his hand on it. “Is this connected to anything inside?”
“Yes,” Discord said surprised, “There is a clicking machine in there they apparently are using to communicate over the aether without disturbing it.”
He looked at Discord, “What’s Aether?”
“It is the magic that permeates all things,” Celestia said. “It enfolds the whole of Equis from the deepest stones to the highest clouds. The sun and moon also have their own aether fields.”
“And you can communicate through it by sending pulses between machines?”
“Of course, magic wielders have been using it between themselves since before Luna and I were born. But things like radio are much more recent.”
Vegeta looked back at the flagpole.
“What is it?” Luna asked.
“Won’t know until we get inside,” Vegeta said, taking his hand off of it, “Let’s go.”
~~***~~
“Good Stars, I’m in one of Trunk’s Steampunk fantasies.”
“A what?” Discord asked, beating the princesses.
“A fictional Earth story set in a time period called the Victorian era, after the queen who ruled over it. Like 50 years or something.”
“How can you tell?” Luna asked.
Vegeta pointed at wires running along the top of the wall, “This is knob and tube wiring.”
“It is odd,” Celestia says, “I haven’t seen such things in almost two hundred years.”
“How long has it been for thee?” Luna asked.
“For Earth, I honestly don’t know. My guess would be before unification since those stories involve war between rival domestic nations.” He looked at Discord, “These wires connect the generator to this clicker and the flagpole?”
“Yep. But like I told Celestia, there’s no magic.” He pointed, “The second door leads to the basement.”
Vegeta jogged over and opened the door.
~~***~~
The group was standing in the basement, gawking at two large machines connected by belts to a third.
“You did not mention they were this large,” Celestia said.
“These aren’t that large,” Vegeta said noticeably annoyed, “More like medium small.”
He walked over and leaned on the top of one looking at the back, “Did you get a look on the inside of one of these?”
“I actually saw this one being repaired,” Discord said walking to the other one.
Vegeta hopped on top of the other one, “Show me.”
Discord began playing the movie. “I made it permeable so you can move through it.”
Vegeta saw several creatures, half bird half cat. He tilted his head, “These are griffons?”
“Yes,” Celestia said. Luna nodded.
Vegeta squatted down to watch them work. Something about their language sounded familiar as they squawked.
Ich… ein… lachen… delicatessen…
“Deli…” he thought, “Oh. These things are based on Germany.” He lowered his brow, “Definitely one of Earth’s more notable warrior tribes. Need to watch them.”
“Thou see something Prince Vegeta?”
“Not far enough yet to tell… wait never mind. This is a diesel engine. No spark plugs. What are they saying?”
“Mostly talking about… eating meat,” he could hear Celestia’s disgust. “Wait, you cannot understand them?”
“Nope.”
“Once you are well, perhaps we should look into translation spells for you now that we know you recognize this technology.”
“What is diesel?” Discord asked.
“A liquid fuel made from what you call ‘griffin fire’. Although I smell oil lubricants, I don’t smell the fuel itself.”
“It’s been jerry-rigged to use magic,” Discord began, “It is the reason…”
“Holy fuck! It cracked a piston,” Vegeta said leaning forward through the illusion, “No other wear on it either. Oh my Stars. Almost in half.”
“I assume from thy foul words that tis severe damage?” Luna asked.
“Very.” Vegeta put his face deep into the engine, “I don’t see any cracks in the engine block though. That would be fatal.”
“To the machine or the operator?” Luna asked.
“Depends on how close you’re standing,” Vegeta said standing up himself. He walked over to the working machine following the belts to the third. “Did you see how this one works?”
“Yes, let me fast forward.”
Vegeta could almost swear he heard the squeaking noise and saw the white lines of a VHS as the scene jumped to one of the griffons unscrewing the plating.
The other griffon shouted.
“He said, ‘Don’t kill yourself on that thing’.” Celestia said.
Vegeta knelt getting a good look inside before the plating is put back on. “It’s a static charger. Copper brushes rubbing against a belt.”
“Static?” Luna tilted her head. “Th-you mean like a balloon standing up a mane?”
Vegeta looked up at her, “How is natural lightning made here?”
“Magic,” the three said at once.
“Jinx!” Discord yelled.
“I’m my world,” Vegeta said standing, “Lightning is the discharge of static caused by ice crystals bumping into each other in violent storms. A single bolt has the power to kill dozens up to a mile away, plunge cities into darkness, and cause fires that sweep across hundreds of square miles in less than thirty minutes. It is an uncontrollable and lethal force, ignored at one’s peril.” He smiled seeing their dropped jaws. “And all that from a party trick,” he smirked.
“And thou say such power lies within our world? Hidden from us in plain sight?”
“Electromagnetism, Strong Force, Weak Force, Gravity. The four fundamental forces that control the universe. Unified, they give full power to control reality itself. Magic is magic, but all it does is manipulate these things. Electromagnetism is the most powerful and easiest to manipulate, even without magic. For most civilizations it is the first learned and first mastered. You. Are. The. Exception. NOT. The. Rule. Everything you believe of the world outside your small sphere is completely wrong if you do not recognize this simple thing.” Vegeta gestured to the electric generator.
Vegeta saw all three of them were offended. Celestia twitched. Luna scowled. Discord crossed his arms.
Vegeta tilted his head slightly. “The truth hurts, don’t it?” he said sarcastically.
“Last I checked, I’m the one who is supposed to mock and annoy…” Discord started.
Vegeta suddenly sprinted past them.
They turned and saw him trying to pick up an item leaning against some boxes in the corner.
“Discord! What is this?” he demanded, pulling with what they thought was all his strength. He even had a foot on a wooden crate.
“I didn’t pay attention to that stuff,” Discord said. “It’s just a picture.”
Vegeta stopped trying to pick it up and knelt down. He held his hand out but hesitated to touch it, only slowly moving his hand up and down the object.
The three walked over.
“Are you… scared?” Celestia asked, seeing his face.
“I don’t see what the big deal is?” Discord said, leaning over Vegeta and twisting his head in a full circle before his body unwinds.
“No wooden construction… Stamped metal… machine worked… mass production…” Vegeta mumbled.
“Prince Vegeta?” Luna asked.
“Shenlong what have you done…”
~~***~~
The carriage pulled up to one of many gates in a row of large mansions. Fancy Pants leaned out of the window and lit his horn. A pattern lit up on the metal and the gates slid open.
He pulled his head back in. “Runic lock. Only responds to select spellcaster’s signatures. Everypony else needs to be rung in,” he smiled.
As they pulled up to the gate a pastel blue unicorn maid with black hair ran out the door. “My lordship, we weren’t expecting you home so soon.”
Fancy Pants chuckled and his horn lit up. “I can tell by the flour on your uniform, my dear,” he said, wiping her dress and straightening her crooked bonnet. “We have two guests for dinner,” he sidestepped as Bocce, then Rarity made their way out of the carriage. “Is it possible to have a late afternoon tea for the four of us?”
“Yes. We will prepare it right away,” she bowed, “Which room will you be hosting our guests?”
“Hmmm.” Fancy Pants scratched his chin. “Oh, why not in the upper parlor? It is a lovely day. We can throw the Prench doors open and enjoy the fresh air from the balcony.”
“As you wish,” she bowed.
Fancy Pants then levitated the stacks of books out of the carriage.
“Sir, shall I send for a footstallion?”
“No, that’s quite alright, my dear. We are in a bit of a hurry. Just prepare our tea and snacks for now.”
“As you wish,” she bowed again and left.
~~***~~
Fancy Pants opened the doors to the balcony. He took a deep breath. “Ah… what a lovely sunny day. The pegasi really outdid themselves today.” He turned around and lit his horn. The table and four chairs floated over, “Let’s enjoy the sunshine.”
Fleur dis Lee sat down next to the window, “Bocce, come over and sit by me.” She tapped on the inner chair.
Bocce sat down with Fleur between him and the doors. Rarity sat next to her on the left.
Fancy Pants sorted through the stacks of books. He pulled out twelve books and gave each person three. “These are the ones marked as bylaws. We need to find anything relating to 11%.”
~~***~~
On the other side of Canterlot, they were being watched through binoculars.
“Ziel gefunden. Warte auf Bestätigung. (Target located. Awaiting confirmation.)”
~~***~~
Two hours later, another tea party is being held.
“Here are the drinks and meals you ordered, your Majesties, Ladies,” a footstallion bowed as more footstallions and maids brought in several carts of sandwiches and sweets.
“Alright!” Rainbow Dash tapped her front hooves together, “I’m starving!” She flew up to the carts.
“Thank you very much,” Twilight thanked the staff. “You may wait out in the hall.”
“As you wish,” he bowed.
The staff left.
“Oh boy! Oh boy!” Pinkie Pie bounced over.
“Which one is the strawberries?” Bulla asked excitedly.
“Here you go,” Pinkie handed her a plate.
Bulla carefully took the plate and walked with three hooves over to her seat.
Suddenly Pinkie began to shake like a rattlesnake.
“Oh nonononono,” Pinkie said, bolting from the tea party. She headed to the balcony and pulled a rope from her mane and belayed down.
“Hey Pinkie?!” Rainbow Dash said coming to the balcony.
The others were a close second.
“What the hay’s put the fire under her fetlocks?” Applejack said.
“Did you see which way she went, Dash?” Twilight asked.
“Ran towards the gardens’ exit,” she answered.
“Is something wrong with Daddy again?”
They all turned around and saw Bulla trembling.
“Don’t worry,” Twilight smiled, “Your Daddy’s room is on the complete opposite side of the palace. She went the wrong way if it was him, and the ‘Pinkie Sense’ never lies.”
“Yeah, she’ll be fine. Now let’s get back to food.” Rainbow Dash darted to the table filled with a real meal instead of pretend, “I’m hungry enough to eat a haystack.”
Twilight and Applejack returned to the table, but Fluttershy hesitated.
“She… seemed… scared,” she said.
~~***~~
Pinkie Pie was putting every ounce of earth pony strength into her hooves, leaving cracked pavestones, a trail of flames and startled pedestrians in her wake.
Tears welled up and her hair flattened. “Nonononono. I’m not going to make it!” she thought, “Why did I panic and run off? If I had only told Rainbow Dash…” Her hair popped back up and her eyes narrowed in determination “Wait. That’s it! Come on Pinkie Pie, just like you always do. Just like HE said.”
Pinkie Pie began taking giant leaps into the air. After several she noticed she was going farther as she descended slower. Finally, when her hooves went to hit the ground, it was nothing but air. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Pinkie screamed as she ran higher and higher, leaving petrified ponies and a three-carriage pileup behind.
~~***~~
“Oh, all this legalese is making my eyes cross,” Rarity said, taking off her red glasses with her magic then rubbing the center of her eyes with her hoof.
“Yes, these bylaws are more complicated than normal,” Fancy Pants said, “Seems the lawyer was a little overzealous. All noble companies have their own internal quirks, but these traditions are never articulated in this detail to the public. Must have been a young buck just out of college who hadn’t had the ‘This is how the real world works.’ talk yet or too idealistic to listen. I hope the poor chap isn’t blacklisted over this.”
“Duke Fancy Pants,” Bocce stood up from his chair, “This page has the words 11% on it.” He turned the book around in his magic. “Something about stock splitting and ownership.”
Fancy Pants took the booklet, flipped a few pages back and began reading. Fleur dis Lee stood and walked over to read over her husband’s shoulder.
~~***~~
On the other side of Canterlot, there was a click.
~~***~~
Fancy lowered the pages and looked at Bocce “By Celestia, I think you…”
Suddenly the table and its content went flying as something impacted them.
“OUT OF THE WAY!!!”
The chaos and screams across the way satisfied the shadow and it disappeared.
In the mass of tables, chairs, table cloths, formerly fine china, and the tea and sandwiches, there was a mass of pink tangled over one of brown. Rarity recognized the cutie mark.
“Pinkie Pie!” Rarity fumed as she pulled a table cloth and other carnage off of them. Pinkie’s torso is covered in blood from a gaping hole in her barrel.
Fleur screamed. Soon joined by the maids who came running.
Rarity held Pinkie as her hair went flat. “Pinkie Sense… Murder… Brown… Hide…”
She stopped moving, eyes still open.
~~***~~
Vegeta gasped and gripped his heart with his right hand. “Pinkie Pie…” he whispered as he turned and sat leaning against crates with his back.
“Prince Vegeta?” Celestia said as she and her sister rushed over.
“Do we need to wake and call the doctors?” Luna asked.
“Something is wrong with Pinkie Pie!” Vegeta shouted visibly in pain. “Don’t ask me how, I just know! Wake us up and find her! Now! Now! It feels like she’s dying!”
Chapter 16: Depths of the Mind
Chapter 16: Depths of the Mind
“Art thou certain?!” Luna shouted.
“Yes! Get us out! Get us out!” Vegeta shouted.
Luna flashed her horn.
~~***~~
Everyone woke up, and Celestia scrambled to her feet. She lifted her head, closed her eyes, and lit her horn.
“Princess?!” the doctors said spooked.
“She’s not in the palace…” Celestia said concentrating. Her horn grew brighter.
“No!” Celestia said as the magic made a popping noise as it disappeared. “I can’t find her. I can find all the girls but her! Her magic is gone!”
“Let me try,” Luna got to her feet. She closed her eyes and lit her horn.
The doctors began backing up as the magic grew brighter and brighter, eventually enveloping her whole body.
“There!” Luna shouted. She disappeared in a bright flash.
~~***~~
Luna came into a room full of screaming and panic. Staff was running. Fancy Pants and Fleur dis Lee had their horns glowing. A brown stallion was kissing a gray mare, blowing air as hard as he could into her mouth. Rarity was next to him sobbing uncontrollably as she held a bunched up red table cloth on her barrel.
“What’s going on,” Luna walked around into view.
“Princess Luna!” The staff, Fancy Pants and Fleur dis Lee shouted.
The brown stallion lifted his head briefly before immediately going back to blowing into the mare. Rarity looked up at her whimpering, her mascara running down her face.
Luna’s eyes widen and jaw drops seeing Rarity’s front legs and stomach are the same shade of red as the cloth.
Meaning it wasn’t red to begin with.
Luna lit her horn.
~~***~~
Suddenly a dozen ponies flash into the room and drop down.
Several maids and footmen fell to the ground in the hallways and surrounding rooms.
Fancy Pants dropped sideways across Discord’s bed with Fleur dis Lee landing on Celestia.
Rarity and the stallion landed next to Vegeta.
The gray mare landed on top of Vegeta.
Vegeta screamed at the sudden impact to his ribs. Then he craned his neck.
He came nose to nose with the mare, looking dead into her eyes.
“Pinkie Pie!” Vegeta tried to move against his full body cast. “No. By the gods no!”
Celestia snapped out of the shock of being landed on and pulled the red cloth off revealing the balloons on her flank.
And removing the pressure on the wound.
Celestia immediately forced the cloth back in the hole to stem the red tide.
“Doctors! Puncture wounds! Looks like a lance!” she shouted.
~~***~~
Twenty minutes passed…
Rarity was washed and bawling being comforted by military counselors. Fancy Pants, Fleur dis Lee and the identified Bocce were functioning enough to give their statements to the guards.
“Luna, that teleportation was reckless. You could have killed somepony by landing them inside a wall.”
“I’m sorry, Tia. I panicked.”
“Celestia, I know you're stressed but you’re not helping,” Discord scolded. He looked at Vegeta, “How is she?”
“Soul hasn’t passed over,” Vegeta said. “But her energy hasn’t risen above what it was when she landed. She’s still on a knife edge.”
“Still?” Celestia turned around. Then she glanced at the clock on the wall before returning to Vegeta, “She should be stable by now.”
“Check yourself.”
Celestia lit her horn. Then she hung her head. “You’re right. I still can’t locate her…” she said as her horn stopped glowing.
“What are you doing when you do that?” he asked.
“The scanning phase of a teleportation spell,” Celestia said.
“Ah.”
“Princess Celestia,” a junior doctor came into the room wearing dirty scrubs. “Captain Hawkeye is requesting your assistance.”
“What’s wrong?”
“There is a substance in the wound preventing its closure. We can see it, feel it, even taste it, but it doesn’t respond to magic at all. It’s like it doesn’t exist, but it’s right in front of our faces. He was hoping an overcharged healing spell of an Alicorn could brute force it close. It’s… It’s all we have left to try. I’m sorry.”
“Was the injury not just a stab wound, but the surrounding tissue shredded to the point of becoming a paste?” Vegeta asked suddenly.
“How did you know that?!” The doctor exclaimed.
“You know that thing I couldn’t pick up? It’s called a fucking gun! That crap coating the wound is probably gun powder residue. Have you found pieces of lead in her? Chunks of metal?”
“There’s a small void in our scanning spell behind a cracked rib at the end of the tube that won’t heal properly. About the size of a bit.”
Vegeta paused for a second.
“Luna… was the reason you found her but Celestia couldn’t… because your magic can sense the unconscious?”
“Thou…” she stuttered… “Want to try and dream walk with a dying mind?”
“Yes, if nothing else is working, we have to try.”
“Let me try what the doctor wanted first before we risk everything on random mixing of your magics to trigger that healing accident again.” Celestia walked up to the doctor. “Take me to the room.”
~~***~~
Ten minutes later, Celestia returned. She hung her head. “Luna… prepare for the sleep spell.”
“Grab every doctor we can,” Vegeta said. “Including at least one of the docs from the dungeon and the guy I made piss himself. I don't know your anatomy.”
“Of course,” Celestia nodded and galloped out.
“Luna, knock me out so I can prep Dende,” Vegeta demanded.
“Knock me out too,” Discord asked.
“Nay, Discord. Our mixing magics is chaotic as it is without true chaos magic present.”
“Oh… alright…” He looked at Vegeta. “Don’t let her die. Just because I’m a reformed villain does not mean I’m rusty.
Vegeta smirked at him. “Right back at you, dumbass.” He put his head on the pillow. “Luna, go!”
Luna nodded and lit her horn.
~~***~~
Luna walked into the operation room.
She held her breath looking at Pinkie Pie on the table covered in tubes surrounded by several doctors and nurses.
“Luna, in here,” Celestia waved from a door.
Luna walked into a storage closet and saw a collection of doctors, including Captain Spearchucker.
“The doctors felt it best to break off into two teams,” Celestia said, “In case something goes wrong in the dream world.”
“Do I really have to be here?” Captain Spearchucker asked, visibly shaken.
“Yes,” Luna said. “Prince Vegeta asked for you specifically. And it is also an order from my sister and I.”
Captain Spearchuckler saluted. “No disrespect meant, your Majesty.”
“Everyone on the ground, make haste.” Luna lay down.
Everyone followed.
Luna lit her horn.
~~***~~
They came to a white expanse. A naked void in all directions.
“Where are we, Luna?” Celestia asked.
Then they heard a sound like a knock on a door. Everyone looked around confused.
Then they heard the sound again.
And again, but more aggressive.
Then the sound of very loud, angry pounding.
Celestia and Luna glance at each other, realizing it is Vegeta.
“Come in?” Luna said, uncertain.
A fancy door materialized. It opened, and Vegeta stood in the door. This time he was in a pink shirt with writing in an unknown script on the back and bright yellow pants.
“Took you long enough.”
“Is the temple on the other side?” Luna asked, recognizing the design.
“Let’s get Pinkie in here before we merge the dream rooms together.”
A doctor lifted his foot to point at him. “You are Prince Vegeta?” he asked, confused.
Vegeta nodded. “Good to see you two, too. Statin and Gauze, right?”
“Yes… your Majesty,” Dr. Statin said, still uncomfortable.
“That scan spell you did on me, do you have a recent scan of Pinkie we can use?”
“Yes, we figured that was the spell you were after, so all four of us took a scan not knowing how Captain Hawkeye would split us up. We can guide the healing.”
“Can you project the image?”
The look on their faces told Vegeta the answer was no. He turned and looked at Captain Spearchucker. “Then that falls to you then.”
“Wait… What?! You want to overlap multiple mind spells?!” he shouted as he backpedaled. “You know the dangers of that?!”
Vegeta turned to Luna, but before he could ask—
“We can protect your mind, captain,” Luna said. “Or do you not trust your Princess?”
Captain Spearchucker fell on his haunches and swallowed hard. Then he nodded vigorously.
“Good,” Vegeta said. “Luna, can you come with me through the door?”
“Yes.” Luna trotted in.
Vegeta followed.
Then he stuck his head back out. “Oh. Don’t close the door. We’ll be back,” Vegeta said before disappearing for good.
~~***~~
Luna walked into a familiar bedroom and was greeted by a friendly specter.
“Princess Luna,” Dende nodded respectfully.
Luna returned the greeting, “Lord Dende.”
Vegeta sighed. “Ok… the next part is going to be a little invasive. When I find Pinkie, I’ll use telepathy to guide you in. It’s what Pinkie and I were doing in the tree house.”
“Our minds are already linked, Vegeta.” Luna points out.
“Not in the way we need.”
“Layering yourself like that is dangerous,” she said.
“That’s what lucid dreaming is in the first place,” Vegeta pointed out. “I got this, don’t worry.”
Vegeta then sat on the bed. “I’m going to hold out my right hand to find her. When I do, I will hold out my left. I’ll need to touch your head for precision.”
Luna stretched her wing out and touched Vegeta’s shoulder. “If we did not trust thee, we would not be here.” She withdrew her wing. “Find Pinkie Pie.”
Vegeta scooted back, then crossed his legs. He let a breath out slowly, closed his eyes, and extended his hand in front of him.
~~***~~
In the waking world, Discord noticed Vegeta’s eyes open and one of his front legs twitch despite the cast.
“How’s Pinkie?” Discord asked.
Vegeta did not respond.
“Vegeta? Vegeta? Yoohoo!”
Nothing.
Discord looked at the monitors. Then he risked reinjuring himself and made a tiny light ball. He floated it over.
Vegeta’s pupils did not respond.
Discord dissolved the ball. He leaned back into his bed. “You are a strange one, Prince Vegeta.” He grinned, “Ooooo ho ho, you’re going to be a fun one, my little chaos kōhai.”
Discord heard a small tinkle sound, like a fairy.
“No, he’s mine. This isn’t your script anymore and you know it.”
Discord face jerked like he just got punched.
“Is that the best you can do all by your lonesome?” he chuckled. “And I thought you fucked me up all those years ago.”
He heard another tinkle.
He put his head deep into the pillow. “Can you do anything? I bleed now, so you have an advantage.”
He closed his eyes after another tinkle. “Thank you for holding her in place…” He glanced at Vegeta again.
His eyes were closed.
“He got her?”
…
“Ok, good luck you bloody dictator…”
…
“Cue ball?” he chuckled, “Pet names will get you nowhere with me, darling.”
Discord’s head jerked again.
~~***~~
Luna saw Vegeta raise his left hand after an anxious few minutes. She nuzzled his hand and Vegeta repositioned it over her ear with her horn in between his thumb and fingers.
When Vegeta said it would be invasive, she thought she was prepared for it. But she never felt so naked before in her life. It was terrifying and even more violating than her refigurement.
But she immediately saw why it was needed.
“So, this is death… how terrifying….” she thought.
But she watched Vegeta dance through the cold dissipating mist like it was an old friend. Gathering the fog by brute force of will.
“He has died before…” she reminded herself.
Suddenly the fog began to swirl and condense. A light sparked in the center mass and continued to grow as Vegeta compressed more fog into it.
“It looks like the birth of one of my stars…”
“Luna, I need more,” he said through gritted teeth. “Copy what I did. Something important to her mind is missing.”
Luna saw his arms shaking from the exertion and sweat pouring down his face.
She galloped off. But as she circled around, no more mist greeted her. Luna began to panic as she began to spin around. Right before she was about to scream there was nothing left, a small flash drew her attention upwards.
A white feather drifted down.
“The mage’s quill?”
The feather stopped in front of her face and hung in the air. Then it began to draw a shape in the air with lines of light before the feather flashed out of existence.
As Luna’s eyes recovered from the sudden light, her hoof kicked something that made a clinking sound. She looked down.
“The element of laughter?!” Luna reeled back in shock at the balloon-shaped gem on the ground.
“Luna! Hurry! I’m not Yemma!”
Luna picked up the gem in her magic and raced back. She thrust it into the light ball.
It exploded around them in glitter and twisting light ribbons. Then she felt a spark of consciousness.
“Luna! Grab her! Pull!”
~~***~~
With a loud pop, Luna and Vegeta went cartwheeling into different walls.
“Aur-owe,” Vegeta growled in pain.
Luna shook her head and found herself back in the room.
“Pinkie is on the bed. Pinkie is on the bed! We did it!”
“Vegeta! Are you..?”
“I’m fine, Dende!”
Dende stepped back as Vegeta raised an arm and slapped it down on the bed. He pushed himself to his knees.
“Get the others,” he said as he got to his feet, “bring them in.”
Luna hurried to the door. “Ye can come in now,” she said, sticking her head out.
~~***~~
“Rather tight in here,” Dr. Gauze said after they filed in.
“I got it,” Vegeta said. He raised his hands then spread his arms.
The walls moved back.
“Ah,” Celestia said, fluttering her wings, “Much better.”
“How did you do that?” Dr. Gauze asked, confused. “Isn’t Princess Lu—”
“We’re in his mind!” Captain Spearchucker shouted and ran for the door.
It slammed shut in front of him.
“We said we would protect thee,” Luna said frustrated as she released the handle from her magic.
“Captain Spearchucker, was it?” Dende walked forward. “I understand your fear. He was one of the soldiers who wiped out my home when I was four before we both found ourselves living on Earth.”
“Dende!” Vegeta shouted.
“Let me finish,” he shot back.
Vegeta grumbled looking at a far wall.
Dende returned to the cringing pony. “During those battles, I was in the thick of it.” He held his hands out to the side, “Using my gift to heal the injured and dying with a touch of my hands to save the defenders on the battlefield as ki blasts turned the air into ozone and explosions ripped the ground right from under my feet." He lowered his arms, “You’re an Army surgeon. Get it together, and save a dying patient.”
“And who are you, to tell me that?!”
“I am a dream specter of Lord Dende, Divine Guardian of Planet Earth. He is what is colloquially called a GOD ,” Dende stressed. “And before you say anything, he was selected to ascend to godhood at the age of eight. So, he was as mortal as you are during the Battle of Namek. Are you to be outdone by a small child barely out of diapers, soldier?”
“Captain, you embarrass us,” Celestia said. Then she bowed and spread her wings to Dende.
“There is no need for that,” Dende bowed back, “I’m just a specter after all.”
“We don’t have time for this!” Vegeta growled. “Would me standing in the hall still work for you, Dende?”
“I much rather have you here. Your worrying about what is happening in this room may affect my free will.”
“And fuck up the healing…” he sighed.
Vegeta then moved a bookcase and freed up a corner of the room. He snapped his fingers and a large wooden crate appeared. He walked over and lifted the lid.
“What are you doing?” Celestia spoke for everyone watching Vegeta climb inside.
“What? I’m a jerk in the box,” Vegeta said before closing the lid. Two holes in the side popped out and everyone could see him peeking out. “You may proceed.”
Suddenly the box turned into an actual Jack in the Box and the crank turned as a rapid clunking version of Pop Goes the Weasel played.
“What the— AHHHH!”
Vegeta screamed as a spring launched him over the bed and into the far wall. He got to his feet, and discovered he was in a colorful jester’s outfit.
Everyone chuckled.
When Vegeta saw what he was wearing, he angrily tried to rip the hat off.
It was stuck.
“Luna! Unglue this right now!”
“Tis not us Vege—” Luna put her hoof to her mouth. “Captain, it appears you have a new hat as well.”
Captain Spearchucker took off his dunce cap, but another was underneath it.
“What the heck?!” he shouted as he continued to add more dunce hats to the pile at his hooves.
Vegeta noticed a ripple of pink pass through Pinkie Pie’s fur before turning gray again. He ran to the bed.
“Pinkie Pie?! Pinkie Pie?!”
“I felt her!” Celestia shouted ecstatically. She looked at Luna, “I felt her magic for just a moment then.”
“Seems Pinkie hast given her opinion on the matter,” Luna said. “And We agree. Captain, stop being a dullard and get this healing underway. We cannot waste any more time.”
“Yeah, won’t be the first time a candle burnt brightest before going out,” Vegeta added, standing straight from the bed. “Ok. This is what I need.” He turned to Dr. Gauze and Dr. Statin. He pointed between them. “One of you get a holographic projection of her scan in the air.” He pointed at Captain Spearchucker, “Work with him and Luna to get that done. I need that info in my brain people — I mean ponies… in a format Dende can use.”
“Prince Vegeta, can you demonstrate what this holographic projection is?” Dr. Statin asked, “Just so we know exactly what you want.”
Vegeta slumped his shoulders and sighed annoyed. He raised his arms, “Ok, here.”
Vegeta’s motorcycle appeared in the air.
“This is my motorcycle. Because I’ve repaired it so many times. I know every inch.”
The display went from photo realistic to a light blue, almost transparent look. Vegeta then began making different parts shine brightly as he briefly explained each part and what systems they were a part of. Then he did something the doctors recognized, Vegeta took a horizontal plane and dissected the image from multiple angles. Finally, Vegeta moved his hands and disassembled the bike. Taking pieces and whole systems and moving them to different spots in the air. After he finished, he moved everything back in a different order.
“Now, do you understand what a holographic projection is?”
“Yes! This is quite brilliant,” Dr. Gauze said. “If we can duplicate this spell, it would advance so many things.”
“Yes! Why can’t you teach it to them right now?!” Captain Spearchucker pointed out.
“Because our peoples and civilization have no magic,” Dende said. “Minus myself as a god.”
“Are you saying this can be done by beating rocks over a friction fire like a dirty Griffon?” Captain Spearchucker chuckled. He pointed at Vegeta, “And that memory you used. That was fire magic. No mistake.”
“No, that is not magic in any way,” Dende said. “Ki is a physical ability. No different than walking or breathing.”
Suddenly a set of pink plastic toy keys pop into existence and plops down on Pinkie before rolling onto the bed.
“Yes! Pinkie has ki,” Vegeta points at her, “She has a lot of ki. We share some of the same abilities. The princesses saw us.”
“Tis, true. Many of her unexplained idiosyncrasies have been shown to be this strange power.”
“And Vegeta has promised to teach this power to myself, first,” Celestia said glaring down at him. “So, it can be disseminated properly. Now stop wasting time. Pinkie Pie is an Element Bearer and has done more for this country in two years than your entire service record. So, stop dallying and follow your royal orders!”
He lowered his head, “Yes, your majesty.”
“I’m going to leave the room while you…”
Celestia raised her wing to block his path.
“No, you stay with Pinkie. We will figure this out in the other dream room.”
“It doesn’t exist anymore. I told you not to close the door.”
Luna went and opened the door. Only to be greeted by a wall. “Oh…” she realized, “I’m fully integrated into this dreamplane now because I pulled Pinkie in. I would have to leave to recreate it, but that would risk Pinkie.”
“Like I said, I’m going to leave so the guy I’ve apparently given PTSD to can function properly without freaking over going deeper into my head. Come on Dende let's go. We’ll be outside the door when needed.”
Dende nodded respectfully and followed Vegeta out the door.
“Pardon me one second,” Celestia said to her sister as she passed her and exited as well.
She found herself in a hallway. “Prince Vegeta. For the sake of Pinkie Pie, what is this PTSD and what does it have to do with the captain?”
Vegeta leaned against the wall. “Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Simple terms, you go through something so fucked up it permanently breaks your brain. If you’re around your trigger or something similar to it, you basically go nuts until you can remove yourself and calm down. I have it from my years as a slave to be honest… Earth is… as far away as any trigger I can get…”
Vegeta began tapping the back of his head on the marble wall. “Stupid. He was a soldier and I thought he could take it… forgot where I fucking am…”
“Please don’t hit your head on the wall,” Celestia asked. “We are all currently in it. I don’t want a repeat of the two hours you were trapped with Luna.”
“Tsk,” he chuckled/scoffed. “Yeah, really.”
“How is it cured?”
“It can’t be. Just a shit ton of meds and therapy to treat it and if that doesn’t work… suicide or murder/suicide is common.”
“Self-destruction, I’ve seen it many times in my youth. My generation worked hard to make sure we would be the last to ever suffer such a fate, and we succeeded. Thank you for pointing out my blindness. I will be much gentler with him from now on.”
“Good. It may take time, but we’ve used the dragon balls to erase memories before if it came down to it. But one soldier isn’t going to be high on the priority list because of the long charge times. But if we have a use left over once this mess is cleared up, I’ll do my best to convince the others.”
“Hopefully it won’t come down to it. I will return now.”
Celestia went back through the door.
~~***~~
A long time passed in the dreamscape, and Vegeta was sitting on the ground, sweating and hyperventilating.
“Vegeta, if you need to let me go, you can do that and remake me later,” Dende said worriedly.
Vegeta shook his head wordlessly.
The door opened and Dr. Statin came out excitedly. “Prince Vegeta! We belie— By Celestia! Are you alright?”
His exclamation caused Luna and Celestia to stick their heads out of the door.
Luna gasped. “Vegeta, thou art mentally stressed.”
“I’m fine!” he shouted.
Vegeta stood, but lost balance and leaned into the wall. He glared at them. “I don’t need your pity. Forget me, someone is about to die if we don’t get this done. So shut up and get the fuck out of the door!”
Celestia and Luna stepped back and Vegeta and Dende returned to the room.
“Get your jaw off the fucking floor, captain,” Vegeta growled through his heavy breaths. “Show me what you got.”
Dr. Gauze and Captain Spearchucker lit their horns. An image of an earth pony hung in the air. Then the image went through the same sequence Vegeta had with his motorcycle.
“Looks good,” Vegeta said. Now can you size it and position the limbs to match Pinkie’s position on the bed.”
Dr. Gauze nodded and resized the image.
“Highlight the injury that won’t heal.”
The injury lit up red.
“Put it over her. Line it up.”
This time the captain’s horn lit up and the image lined up over her.
“All the way down. Skin contact low.”
The image lowered.
“Ok,” Vegeta said mostly to himself. He raised both his arms.
Suddenly the image lowered unprompted and settled into Pinkie’s body.
“Now I need one more image,” Vegeta said. “What is it supposed to look like uninjured?”
Dr. Statin’s horn lit up, and another image appeared. It quickly changed to match her position and drifted over.
Vegeta grabbed it and began lowering it as well.
“Vegeta, you’re mental layering,” Luna warned.
“I’m fine!” He shouted as he finished.
“Ok. Dende,” Vegeta stepped back. “Make that,” the injured Pinkie lit up with a red glow. “Look like that,” the uninjured Pinkie lit up blue.
Dende nodded and walked over. He placed his hands on her and they began to glow white.
~~***~~
On the outside, everyone in the operating room is nervous.
Dr. Cast looked up at the clock.
“It’s been 47 minutes,” Captain Hawkeye said. “With the mental speed of dream walking, it must have been hours for them. Something has gone wrong.”
He began walking towards the storage room.
“Wait,” Dr. Cast stopped him, “Let’s give them more time before we interrupt them. We might undo all their work if they are close to success. This is completely experimental.”
“Captain, look at that!” The nurse pointed at the table.
There was a slight glow coming from the wound opening.
“That’s the same glow reported in the files from Ponyville,” Dr. Cast said. “They finally got it to work.”
“Don’t count your chickens before they hatch,” Captain Hawkeye said. “Give it till the top of the hour before we scan.”
~~***~~
“How is it going, Lord Dende?” Celestia asked.
“Slowly,” he said. “This is a lot more complicated than what I’ve done before.”
Vegeta at this point was sitting on the floor leaning his back on the bed.
Luna had noticed long ago the room was simplifying. Chairs had become immovable objects, nothing but surface pictures on a frame. The bookcases were in a similar state, empty husks painted on a box. The walls had also lost their luster. The only thing still functional was the bed itself.
Suddenly she felt the bed become hollow, the only thing now still there was the mattress and blanket. The hallway had also vanished. The door was just an image now.
Vegeta took a deep breath and focused on the ceiling.
The glow on Dende’s hands intensified.
“One of us needs to leave and see if this mess is actually working,” Captain Spearchucker said. “Don’t you think I haven’t noticed the deterioration of this mindscape. We just lost the door.”
Celestia looked at the door and tried to grab the handle. Her magic passed right through.
“These books aren’t real either,” Dr. Statin said, putting his hoof on the bookcase.
“What does this mean?” Dr. Gauze said, glancing around.
“Vegeta is refocusing his efforts due to mental fatigue. No one is in any danger. We art in between all of ye and him. But removing someone may decrease his load.”
“I will go,” Celestia said. “Luna, are you partially aware of the outside?”
“Only if someone physically shakes us in this state. You wish to set up a signal?”
“Yes, remember when Master Starswirl was teaching you dreamwalking, Mistress Clover would zap your horn?”
“Aye, but it was only the signal to return, not to deliver messages.”
“Can you make out patterns?” Vegeta spoke up. His voice was strained. “Humans have something called morse code. In emergencies, they would use unmistakable patterns, ignoring any individual meaning of the beeps.”
“What is the pattern for an emergency? I can use that for failure.”
“Short short short, long long long, short short short.”
Celestia looked back at Luna, “I’ll use that and just a steady pattern for success.”
“Ok.” Luna flashed her horn.
~~***~~
Celestia shook her head awake and looked around. She stood and tip-toed over the sleeping ponies.
She stuck her head out the door, “Hello, my little ponies.”
“Princess Celestia?” everyone said surprised.
“Luna wants an update on the healing spell.”
“Working… but, crude” Dr. Cast said. “She’ll live if this continues, but the scarring will be horrendous and painful. But she will live.”
“Can the scarring be reduced at a later date?”
“Maybe slightly, but not in any meaningful way.”
“How much of the wound is left?”
“Just the last few inches, all muscle and flesh. Internals are all done, but again, crudely.”
“Thank you, I’ll tell my sister.”
Celestia disappeared from the door.
~~***~~
“Ouch!” Luna rubbed her horn.
“That Celestia?” Vegeta asked.
“Yes, wait a moment…”
…
…
…
“Just a constant beat! Vegeta we are doing it!” Luna said excitedly.
“Don’t get complacent!” Vegeta said weakly. “People die after tragedies the second they think they are safe. Don’t let the adrenalin run out!” He pants several breaths, “Dende?”
“Just the muscle and skin left, just a few more minutes.”
“Finally,” Captain Spearchucker said, “We can get out of this Tartarus.”
“Have some sympathy, captain,” Dr. Statin said frustrated. “Clearly we need to rush to his room after this.”
“Stop… making me think… about my… sel— AHHHHHHH!”
Vegeta grabbed his head and started screaming.
Everyone rushed to that side of the bed and saw him rolling around on the ground gripping his skull.
Suddenly a tail ripped through his pants.
Vegeta stopped rolling and lay on his stomach gripping the floor. His fingers turned to claws and shattered the marble floors.
Luna gasped, “His mind is delaminating!”
Vegeta’s hair exploded like a lion’s mane. When he lifted his face from the floor it twisted into an animal’s muzzle.
“Keep… going!” came out as a bestial roar.
Suddenly the room turned into a white space. Pinkie fell to the ground when the bed disappeared.
Luna lit her horn, but nothing happened.
“Vegeta, end this!”
“No. I don’t matter…” the rest of his words came out as animalistic growls.
Out of sight, a void opened up in the floor. Black mist began rolling out.
Back at the group, Dende was on his knees with his hands on the entrance wound.
Suddenly black tendrils erupted from the hole and charged at them. Luna only spotted them out of the corner of her eye a moment before it came.
Her globe shield shattered effortlessly, but she quickly countered with a solid wall of magic she flung like a frying pan at every strike of the black snakes.
“What… What’s going on?!” Captain Spearchucker backpedaled.
Dr. Statin saw Vegeta had stopped moving. He ran over to check on him.
“Oh, Celestia! Is he dying?!”
“What?!” Luna looked behind her and the tendrils darted past.
They grabbed Vegeta and pulled him away.
Luna immediately grabbed on and began to pull, but Vegeta’s form split into several images in the color of the rainbow. When Luna saw a tendril begin to wrap around another image, she blasted it away and wrapped her magic around the remaining five. Even so, Luna was slowly losing the tug of war and was being dragged off.
“Will you forget about him and save the rest of us!” the captain called out.
“Never! WE shall never forsake our duty to protect again!” Luna screamed as she continued to be dragged off.
Suddenly Vegeta’s reflections of his limp body moved identically, first his fingers, then he lifted his head. Although the face of a beast, his smile was unmistakable for anything else.
“Well fuck you too and fuck this!” Vegeta’s voice came from Dende startling the three medics.
The light at his hands expanded, swallowing the civilian doctors almost immediately. Then it swallowed the galloping captain. Luna never noticed the light as it washed over her, focused solely on her task.
~~***~~
“Alright,” Celestia said coming out of the storage room, “I’ve communicated with my sister that it’s work—"
Three screams interrupted everyone’s thoughts and they turned to the door. Captain Spearchucker, Dr. Statin and Dr. Gauze stampeded out of the room and ended up in a pileup at the door. One of their magics finally turned the knob and they exploded into the hall.
Celestia looked into the room to see her sister vanish in a teleport.
Celestia gasped. “Prince Vegeta.”
She teleported as well.
~~***~~
Celestia flashed into Vegeta’s room. She saw Luna weeping with Vegeta’s head wrapped in her magic.
“Discord, what happened?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he said. “There hasn’t been a single wiggle or beep on any of his machines.”
Dr. Statin and Dr. Gauze gallop into the room. “How’s the prince?” they both say at once.
“Fractured, like a stack of playing cards to the wind.” Luna let go of her magic and bit her lower lip.
“Sister?!” Celestia gasped. “What happened?”
“Vegeta overtasked himself…” she cried, “He wouldn’t let go… Refused to leave Pinkie unfinished…”
“Forgive me for interrupting,” Discord said, “But what’s that on your horn?”
Luna crossed her eyes to look up as Celestia picked the object off with her magic.
“A ring?” Celestia said, bringing it to her face. “There’s script on the inside. Definitely Vegeta’s language. There’s a heart in between two words.” Celestia glanced at Luna, “It looks like a unicorn’s wedding band.”
“The ring on Vegeta’s paw!” Luna pointed at it. “His projection was never without it. But… how did it become real.”
“Vegeta did make a pair of sunglasses by accident before Celestia incinerated them,” Discord said.
“I don’t remember that,” she said.
“We do,” Luna said. “They were quite small like a foals. But they would frame his kind’s face quite nicely,” she mused.
The smile left her face. She turned to the doctor, “Is his horn well enough to place it on him?”
Dr. Cast did a quick scan. Then he shook his head. “No, the bone is still fresh. And even if it was, he would have no feeling from the broken nerves.”
Celestia made it pop away. “Let’s confirm with Bulla that this is his marriage band without letting on her father’s current fate.” Then her jaw dropped. “Wait… do the girls even know what happened to Pinkie?!”
Luna gasped, putting her hoof to her mouth. “Oh no, dear sister…”
~~***~~
“PINKIE!” Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash flew down the hall as Applejack galloped keeping pace. They spotted Rarity standing outside a door. She had no makeup and her curls were limp and flat.
“Is Pinkie in here?” Dash asked, arriving first.
Rarity just nodded and pointed in.
They entered, and to their relief, Pinkie was sitting up propped up on pillows. They quickly turned to uncertainty seeing her dull pink color and straight hair.
“Hey girls,” Pinkie said weekly.
“Pinkie, what in the hay bales happened to you?”
“Pinkie sense told me someone was going to be murdered. That’s never happened before. I panicked and just ran to stop it.,” she teared up and some of her color faded. “I’m sorry. If I had only told you Rainbow Dash, we could have gotten there sooner.”
“A murder?! In Equestria?! That’s not possible!” Twilight shouted.
“Princess, you are still a sweet, sweet summer child.”
“Fancy Pants? Fleur? What are you doing here?” she asked.
“Lady Pinkie knocked to the ground a new companion of ours during a tea party,” Fleur dis Lee explained. “We were quite upset until we saw the blood.”
Rarity started to cry again.
“Rarity, I’m ok, really. It’s just going to hurt when I laugh for a while. Please don’t cry.”
Fleur walked over and hugged Rarity.
“Hey Pinkie. How are you doing?”
“A lot better than I was,” Pinkie smiled. “How are you doing?”
“Absolutely terrified.”
“Bocce? What ya doing here, pal?” Applejack asked.
“I may have fathered a baby with a noble’s daughter and either her parents or her arranged fiancée are trying to kill me.”
“What?!” the four yelled.
“Do you not know of the riot this afternoon?” Fancy Pants glared at Twilight. “There was armed combat in the streets of the capital and one of our rulers has no idea?”
“Princess Celestia put me in charge of Princess Bulla! I’ve been dealing with her all day! She’s a nightmare!”
“Conniving little devil, that one,” Applejack said. “If she was an adult, I’d say get the elements off the tree and shove a rainbow up her tail.”
“Applejack! She’s five years old!” Fluttershy said at a normal volume.
“You’re forgetting she’s not a real pony, AJ!” Pinkie shouted.
“Bad is Bad no matter where or what you are, Pinkie.”
Pinkie went to shout again but clenched her teeth to try and smother a scream. She wrapped her front legs around her barrel.
“Are you not completely healed?” Twilight stripped the blanket off of her before Pinkie could react.
Everyone gasped.
“Pinkie?! Why are you in a medical corset?!” Twilight shouted.
“Bullet went through my entire liver and entered my lung. Almost went right through me but smashed into a rib,” she chuckled awkwardly. “Still in me, but I’m not well enough to get it out yet.”
“What in Celestia is a bullet?!”
“Oh? You don’t know Twilight? Vegeta said they are as common as magic on Earth.”
“No! I never did!”
“Then the assassin came from Prince Vegeta’s nation?” Fancy Pants said.
“No, guns are a very common weapon. Vegeta has fought against them thousands of times. If a race doesn’t have natural magic or his energy ki powers, then projectile weapons become the dominant way to fight. Guns throw an object called a bullet. Blasters throw stored energy mimicking ki.”
“Why did Prince Vegeta talk so much about weapons with the element of laughter?” Fancy Pants demanded.
“I have both ki and magic. One thing we can both do is something he called telepathy. It’s like Princess Luna’s dreamwalking but awake. We were talking with it and he got frustrated and said ‘Will someone please shoot me in the head.’ When I asked what he meant he got quiet. I finally got it out of him and he shared a few pictures. I’m glad he did. My pinkie sense wouldn’t have known anything was wrong.”
“Pinkie, can you identify the pony who used it?” Twilight asked. “You can usually tell the exact pony.”
Pinkie shook her head, “Sorry. I can only do that when there is a connection. But there was no emotion at all. Complete strangers. All I know is that it was a griffon.”
“Well, that solves what family did this,” Fancy Pants said. “But I doubt this ‘Pinkie Sense’ as you keep calling it will even hold up for an arrest, let alone in court.”
“But wouldn’t the fact they tried to kill Bocce in particular show motive?” Pinkie asked. “You said two families wanted him dead.”
“Not when one is a ducal house,” Fancy Pants said. “You might as well be accusing Princess Celestia herself. And Bearer or not, you’re a peasant. And so is Bocce. And that matters more than any stained glass window in court. All judges are high ranking nobles by law. They would rather sentence a peasant to death for jay walking than a duke for murder of even a low ranking noble.”
“That’s not true!” Twilight shouted.
“Princess Twilight,” Fancy Pants said. “With all due respect. You are a sheltered child. Your outbursts are not productive.”
“Wah-What about this Prince Vegeta?” Bocce said, “If he wasn’t familiar with the weapon, she wouldn’t have recognized it. Cause and effect like a bowling ball hitting the pins. A prince is greater than a duke.”
“Prince Vegeta is the dark mage, correct?” Fleur asked.
“Yeah,” Pinkie said.
“Then your testimony is worthless as well,” Fancy Pants said, “You have the same powers as a dark mage? You’d get torn apart in cross examination. A judge could even order your arrest from the stand for conspiracy with a dark wizard.”
“Then Prince Vegeta teaching me his powers is of greater importance than even I predicted.”
“Princess Celestia!”
“Rise, my little ponies,” she said.
Everyone who had bowed stood.
“Well, I’m glad I came to check on you instead of my sister. It would have spoiled her for appeal.”
“Has Vegeta woken up yet?” Pinkie asked.
Celestia shook her head. “No, and poor Luna is beside herself. What happened after I left? You were able to communicate with us during the event.”
“Luna screamed that he was delaminating. I guess that means all his multitasking was pulling his mind apart. Maybe Vegeta is currently in the black room?”
“The black room?”
“Yeah, with the white light with the pentagram over it. I was just sitting there watching the light trying to get past the seal when I heard something behind me and I got yanked backwards. Then I was in Vegeta’s arms and Princess Luna wrapped her magic around me and poof, I was on the bed with Vegeta and Princess Luna cartwheeling into the walls.”
“I see,” Celestia looked at Twilight. “Princess Twilight, you’re the best researcher I know. As morbid of a topic as it is, please find this black room with the white light.”
“Sister! Sister!” Luna slid unceremoniously past the door before scrambling in. “Improvement! The ring is the key! I know you wanted to check with young Bulla first—”
“Luna, Luna. Calm down. You’re talking too fast. And, have a little more dignified presence. We have an audience.” Celestia tilted her head.
Luna looked and immediately straightened herself. “Duke and Duchess, what do we owe the pleasure?”
“The court case I told you to keep away from,” Celestia interjected. She looked at Fancy Pants.
“Well, I say it’s time to take our leave,” he said. “Come on Bocce. Let’s leave the princesses to discuss whatever is so important.”
“Ok,” he answered.
The three left the room.
Celestia sighed, “Now what is this about the ring?”
“I took string and tied the ring to his left pastern so he could feel it, and there was an instant reaction! All his fragments aligned in the same direction. He can be put back together this way.”
Celestia put her wing around Luna, “That is good to hear.”
“I’ll go back and keep an eye out for convergence,” Luna went to turn but Celestia stopped her.
“A watched pot never boils. You need rest just as much as Vegeta does, but good job stealing the ring from my chambers. Who knows what would have happened to him in the interim.”
Chapter 17 Divided Loyalty Part 1
Chapter 17 Divided Loyalty Part 1
An hour passed, and Discord was still talking to himself, at least to everyone else.
Discord waved at the door guards who had stuck their heads in again.
They looked at each other then returned to attention.
“I swear I keep hearing a filly’s voice,” one said.
“Discord is just messing with us,” said the other one. “There is no one else in there.”
~~***~~
Discord sighed leaning back into his pillow. “You’re talking a little too loud there,” he said. “Don’t wear yourself out.”
There was a tinkle sound.
“Yes, I agree, dark element love magic is completely disturbing… but honestly that makes me want to meet his mare even more. It’s almost like a geas, with his complete surrender to suffering just for a master.”
There was a tinkle sound.
Discord enlarged his ear. “Wait. Wait, did you of all beings just say, ‘If reformation could cause that much suffering, maybe it would be more merciful to stay evil?’ Did I just hear that right, my little dictator?”
Discord’s ear jerked down. Then split in two.
Discord howled as his ear shrunk.
The two guards rushed in to see Discord gripping his bleeding ear. They thought they saw a small ball of light wink from existence next to his head.
~~***~~
“Thank you, doctor,” Celestia said.
The doctor nodded and left.
“Celestia, there’s no reason for you to be here. I was just messing with my magic and I hurt myself. You can—”
Discord closed his eyes and pressed his lips together when Celestia wrapped the side of his face with magic.
“Would you like to tell me why there are traces of harmony magic on your ear and your cheek? If you know anything about this mysterious harmony mage, I demand you tell me.”
Discord sighed. “I can’t. Just know that as antagonistic as we are to each other, she’s not an enemy here.”
“Discord…” Celestia said threateningly.
“Celestia, if you and Luna would think hard enough, you would have recognized who your ‘mystery mage’ the second Vegeta said she had red hair and magical quills.”
“I know no such unicorn.”
Discord lowered his eyebrows. “What’s the earliest thing you remember?”
“What?” she asked surprised.
“What is the earliest thing you remember?”
“Are you claiming this unicorn is thousands of years old?”
“She’s the same age as I am. One of the first things I remember is her screaming and punching me in the face. All I did was float over and say hi.”
“Discord, you’re younger than me. Your parents even came to beg me to release you.”
Discord sighed. “Consider this one of my harmless riddles then. You have met her. You should remember her.” Then he scratched his chin, “Unless she used memory erasure on you. I’ll have to ask her the next time she finds the energy to manifest. But I’d much rather she rests instead of being a gnat in my ear.”
Celestia frowned, “Do you show so little emotion at the mention of your parents? They lived and died while you were in stone.”
Discord closed his eyes. “I know I hurt them. I fully understand that.” He looked at her, “But what do you want me to do? Cry and beg to the time ground dust from their forgotten gravestones? It’s been ONE THOUSAND YEARS, Celestia ,” he hissed. “Not every species lives for hundreds of years like your little ponies. Most species barely reach 150 with modern medical magic, if there is a magician available. If not, 100 is just as big a pipe dream as it was when my little draconequus heart was born, as you so lovingly point out.”
“Sister! I’m here to—” Luna freezes seeing Celestia and Discord glaring at each other.
“Tia? Discord? Is everything alright?”
“Yes,” Celestia said, clearly forced. “Prince Vegeta’s wellbeing is the most immediate concern.”
Luna slowly walked in and stood next to Vegeta’s bed. She wrapped his head in magic.
“Luna? What’s wrong? You look confused,” Celestia asked.
“Vegeta’s mind is coalescing rapidly and extremely well… but in two nodes.” She released his head and looked at the two. “They are both oriented to the same location but are otherwise juxtaposed. But they are close, so close, like a splitting card deck while reshuffling.”
“We need to go in, now,” Discord said forcefully. “If he solidifies like this, he’ll develop a split personality.”
“I was about to say the same thing, Discord,” Luna glared at him.
Celestia sighed. “Alright, we are going to need impartial witnesses to this. Cadence and Twilight will need to enter the mindscape with us.”
“Impartial witnesses?” Luna asked.
“Luna, we still have an unaccounted for Spiraler after over an hour. He’s talked to someone by now. And in his mind, Nightmare Moon chose to save a dark mage over him.”
Luna’s ears fell.
“We both suffer from tunnel vision in the heat of the moment,” Celestia said, putting her hoof on her shoulder. “But right now, we need ponies who have unquestioned purity in regards to dark magic.”
“Princess Cadence does have a deep hatred for Prince Vegeta,” Luna said. “She may act irrationally in the mindscape. We are liable to witness broken shards of memories. Ghosts in the fog.” Luna hung her head, “If his nightmares are any indication, I don’t want her to become a spiral as well. It has been over a thousand years since war touched this land.” She pointed at Discord, “Even Discord did not kill anyone in his decades long rampage.”
“I take offense to that,” Discord said. “It was only 19 years, 10 months and 8 days.”
Both Celestia and Luna narrow their eyes at Discord.
Discord swallowed. “Anyway… I’m coming too.”
“Discord, we’ve said this before—”
“And how do you think Harmony magic will react to dark magic? Huh? I’m the only Deus Ex Machina you got if things go completely sideways.”
Celestia side-eyed her sister, “LuLu… did the harmony mage make an appearance in your dreamwalk with Pinkie?”
“A… a feather did,” she admitted. “We were about to fail to pull her mind from death and the small burst of laughter magic made the difference.”
Celestia sighed frustrated. “Discord knows who this mage is, but won’t tell me who it is.”
“Like I keep saying, you already know who she is if you think hard enough.”
“He claims this mage is thousands of years old and that we have crossed paths before.” He looked back at him, “And you did say it was possible this mage wiped our memories of the encounter.”
Luna looked like she was thinking. “But what about our dreams?” She looked up, “Remember how I once had nightmares of being turned to stone and being trapped in a glass bottle on a shelf?”
Celestia turned to Luna. “I don’t remember this.”
“But I told both you and the Pillars about this. It began happening after we got our cutie marks.”
Celestia shook her head, more confused than ever.
“While it was always a blur so I could never see the species, the giant was a white smear with a red top!”
“The red mane,” she turned around, “Discord?!”
Discord clapped his hands, “Congratulations, Luna! I’d zap you a cookie if I could.”
“Discord, you said this mage was benign, but it sounds like we were imprisoned?!”
“You weren’t imprisoned,” Discord said, “But I can see how the residue of that event could turn into such a dream. You’ve both been messed with, sounds like more than once.”
“That does not make me feel better about this mage, Discord!”
“Sister!” Luna put her wing on her back, “Let’s just get Vegeta put back together and awake. There has been no harm done by this mage, in fact, they have been an ally.”
Celestia took a deep breath and sighed, “Yes… Yes, that is the most important thing right now.”
She looked at Luna, “Let’s fetch Cadence and Twilight.”
~~***~~
“Thank you, Princess Celestia for trusting me with this!” Twilight said excitedly.
“Twilight, take this seriously,” Cadence scolded, “We are entering a mad stallion’s mind who has slaughtered foals without remorse.”
Twilight’s ears fell, “When did this happen?!”
“When he was a foal, himself,” Discord said. “He was placed before a hostile population and expected to fight his way out. Griffons did something similar in the past, pitting griffons who wanted to become officers against captured soldiers or specially trained slaves. Some noble families used this ceremony instead of the traditional coming of age. Forcing teenagers to kill 100 enemies with their bare claws and beaks instead of one.”
Celestia turned to him, “You surprise me, Discord. How do you know of that? Your species never interacted with the griffons during your lifetime.”
Discord shrugged. “Luck be a hen, tonight.”
She sighed, “More riddles. Fine. There are far more important things.”
“Excuse me,” a doctor came into the room.
“Yes?” Celestia asked.
“Lady Pinkie is demanding to be included in this dreamwalk.”
“I don’t believe that would be appropriate,” Cadence said.
“Actually,” Luna interjected, “I believe Pinkie could give valuable insight. Can she be safely moved close by? Perhaps the doorway?”
“Yes,” the doctor nodded. “She is stable and not hooked up to anything at the moment.”
“Princess Luna, I believe she has been through enough trauma for a lifetime,” Cadence protested.
“Cadence,” Celestia said. “She and Vegeta have bonded because they have similar powers. They have been in near constant communication in what can best be described as awake dream walking. And it was his version of the Pinkie Sense that told us she was injured. If anypony knows Vegeta’s mind on Equus, it is her.”
Cadence’s jaw dropped. “There is no way Pinkie has dark magic!”
“It is not dark magic,” Luna said, “but the power native to Vegeta’s actual species. What he calls ‘key’. He said most species have it to varying degrees. Since it is unknown to Equestria, I believe Pinkie is an anomaly savant, like young Twilight is with magic.”
Celestia nodded, “And our experience in the dungeon shows what happens when such powers are weaponized. As terrifying as it is that our beloved Pinkie has the same potential, we must be neutral that this key is neither good nor evil.”
Cadence looked at Twilight.
“I-I’m sorry, Cadence,” Twilight stuttered. “But if Princess Celestia and Luna think it is best, then Pinkie should be here.”
“Fine…” she said frustrated, “Since I am clearly over ruled here.”
Celestia nodded and turned to the doctor, “Please bring Pinkie here.”
“Yes, your majesty,” the doctor bowed and left.
~~***~~
Pinkie was rolled into the doorway.
“Hey,” she said weakly.
Cadence hurried to the bed. “Pinkie, are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes,” she said firmly.
“Cadence,” Luna scolded. “Stop. Thou art here to observe. Nothing else. Thy attitude could endanger Vegeta.”
“Yeah, stop being a grouchy pants,” Pinkie said.
“Cadence, please,” Celestia said gently.
Cadence took a deep breath. “Ok…”
“Alright then,” Luna lit her horn and a few dozen cards with arrows drawn on them appeared. “We are going to explain this visually so everypony knows what we will be dealing with.” She laid the cards on Vegeta’s blanket. “Pinkie, can thou see?”
“Yes.”
“Then,” she began moving the cards. “Vegeta’s mind has coalesced in two distinct piles.” She shuffled two unequal stacks, then spread them into messy piles. “One is larger than the other. But all fragments,” she held up a card showing its arrow, “Are aligned towards a third location.” She put the card down. “Although there is nothing physically at that point. The reason we are intervening is that these piles will solidify,” she straightened the piles, “before they would naturally combine because of their forward movement.” She pushed the two neat piles of cards to the third point.
“Vegeta is risking developing a split personality if this happens. So, we need to help this along,” she pushed the two piles into one deck.
“Any questions?” Luna asked, looking around the room.
“How do you plan on ‘pushing them together’?” Cadence asked.
“Dreamwalking is more like an art than a science,” Luna said. “If you press too much, dreamwalking drifts into dark magic. That’s why in complicated cases, it's best to have someone who knows the person well so we have a good idea how the mind will respond to the pressure.”
“That’s me!” Pinkie said excitedly.
Luna nodded, “I also have some familiarity with him, but we can fill in each other’s gaps in knowledge.”
She looked around. “Any other questions?”
No one spoke up.
“Alright, everyone lay down.”
The princesses got on the floor while Pinkie and Discord leaned back into their pillows.
“Ready?”
“Yeppers!
“Yes, Princess Luna.”
“Let’s go, sister.”
“Dive! Dive! Arooga!”
“*Sigh* Let’s get this over with…”
Luna lit her horn.
~~***~~
The group came to in darkness, with the ground covered in black fog up to the smaller ponies’ knees.
Luna gasped.
“It’s ok, Princess Luna.” Pinkie said. “This isn’t the same thing.”
“The same what?” Cadence demanded.
“Death,” Luna said. “This looks like death.” She looked at Pinkie, “Are you sure?”
“Yep! Look,” she pointed. “You can see the floor. If his brain was shutting down this would be very thin and wispy. Fluff this together. I’d bet we'll get a memory.”
Luna lit her horn and gently fluffed up the smoke.
Then there was a spark and a flash of light.
~~***~~
The air was heavy, and some unknown force threw everyone onto the floor. Luna lit her horn and the weight disappeared.
“What the Equus was that?” Cadence shouted.
“That pressure was part of the memory,” Luna said.
The group found themselves in a small dome room. There floating balls bouncing a ball of light between them at lighting speed as a blur danced between them. Suddenly the light caught the blur and a near naked biped crashed into the ground.
Cadence grimaced in disgust, “What is—”
“Vegeta!” Luna and Pinkie shouted.
The light bounced towards him again and Vegeta moved faster than they could see. His hands appeared above him with a light of their own launched at the reflected ball.
They hit.
Then there was an explosion.
It was black at first, then they felt like they were under a pile of stones.
Sight came back to them when Vegeta opened his eyes.
“Fuck…” he muttered.
Then they heard a woman screaming his name and the sound of the rubble shifting above.
Vegeta shifted and forced his arm through the rubble.
The scene shifted to outside as Vegeta pulled himself out.
While there were others present, the only one in focus was another biped with a curly blue mane.
“You ok?” it asked, clearly female now with its voice.
“Of course I am,” he said, finishing pulling himself out.
The woman’s face went from relieved to furious. “How dare you, you jerk! You almost wrecked my house! What are you trying to prove?”
Vegeta chuckled as he stood straight, only to fall backwards.
“What? Oh no! You’re hurt!” The woman scrambled over the wreckage to him and pulled his head into her lap and leaned over him.
“No… I don’t need help,” Vegeta struggled to speak. “I’ve got training to do…”
“You have got to stop training for a while,” she shouted at him. “I mean look at you! You’re a complete wreck.”
“But I feel fine… I’m a Saiyan… I can take a little pain. It means nothing to me… And I have to get stronger than Kakarot…”
“Ok sure, we all know you’re a tough guy, but you need to rest now.”
“I take orders from no one!” he shouted as he tried to get up, only to fall on his face unconscious.
“Oh no!” he heard her shout before he blacked out.
A sudden blinding light forced them from the memory.
In front of them the cloud had coalesced into a translucent specter matching his appearance from the memory, its form shimmering in and out of existence.
It looked around, confused.
“Where… am I?”
“Vegeta,” Celestia began.
Luna held her hoof out, “This isn’t him, just the personification of that memory.”
Vegeta looked right at her suddenly, startling her. But as he continued to look around, it was clear he could not see them.
“Huh?” he turned his back to them. He kept looking around in that general direction. Then he clenched his fists and his face turned red with veins sticking out of his forehead.
“I heard you the first time! Don’t order me around, you stupid bitch!” he turned into a cloud and raced off.
“What were those things?” Cadence asked disgusted.
“That’s what Vegeta really looks like,” Discord said. “Remember, a spell turned him into an alicorn.”
“Cadence, Sunset Shimmer and I were turned into humans by the magic mirror,” Twilight added. “Vegeta may not be handsome, but he’s not ugly enough for that reaction.”
Cadence sighed, “Alright. Alright. Now what?”
“We follow and repeat with each unresponsive cloud we find.”
“We could be here for hours!”
“He is mostly put together, Princess Cadence,” Luna glared. “What we are finding are stragglers. The real work begins when we find the two main personification specters.”
The group walked on, their route constantly surrounded by specters and clouds going in the same general direction.
“This is like something out of Nightmare Night,” Twilight said.
“Yeah, this would make a great haunted house. Too bad this isn’t funny,” Pinkie said.
“Luna,” Discord said, pointing towards another cloud lying low on the ground.
It was much larger than the others.
“Seems a very large memory,” Luna said. “Perhaps one long event or several small ones on a single topic?”
“I don’t want to be a part of this,” Cadence said, shaking her head.
“Then you must come, Twilight,” Celestia ordered.
“Yes,” she nodded.
The four went over and Luna lit her horn.
~~***~~
The four found themselves in a room. Vegeta was there in a blue and white military uniform arguing with a woman with fluffy blond hair holding red clothes.
“And why the hell do you expect me to wear this?!” Vegeta fumed with his arms stiff to his sides.
“Oh, don’t be a grinch, sweetie,” the woman said, holding up the suit.
“Who in their right mind would wear such a thing?! That is worse than the pink shirt your daughter made me wear!”
“It’s a Santa Claus costume.”
“Then he is clearly color blind.”
“Oh come on, tis the season.”
“For what?! The cold and flu?”
“Christmas celebrates the birth of the Son of God. Come on, you’ve lived here three years now.”
“The androids have been taking most of my attention.”
“Oh… right. But hey, it would make Trunks happy.”
“I’m not dressing up as your god!” Vegeta stormed off.
The memory reformed several times as multiple events were playing out across several hours.
The memory shifted to a bedroom and Vegeta reading a tablet.
“Oh my Celestia!" Twilight was jumping up and down. “An entire library held inside something the size of a foal’s school chalkboard?! We need this spell! I NEED THIS SPELL!”
Twilight, calm down,” Celestia scolded. “Now is not the time.”
Twilight stopped jumping, but kept fidgeting in excitement.
Vegeta heard the door open and a loud groan.
“Pause recording. You ok, babe?”
The mare with the blue mane, now in a different style, came around the corner.
“Did you just call me babe?”
“You’re the one who wants me to start using useless prattle.” Vegeta snarked. “Instead of words with actual meaning.”
“Oh Oh,” Discord rubbed his hands, “I think we’ve found his mate.”
“For the last time, calling someone a turkey on Earth is an insult,” she said exasperated. “You can’t call Trunks ‘turkie’!”
“Tourrkie! Damn it. Tourrkie! Growl when you say it, Woman!”
“My point still stands.”
“Well then my parents must have been calling me a little shit instead of a ‘little smiles’ their entire lives! Because it’s MY infantile name and the boy’s earned it!” Vegeta shouted. His eyes widened as his face reddened.
The woman froze momentarily, before sighing and rubbing her head. “Ok… let’s just move on to the task of teaching you about Santa Claus.”
Vegeta picked up the tablet, “What do you think I’ve been doing the past few hours?”
She put her hands on her hips and leaned forward. “Ok, hotshot. Tell me all you know about Santa?”
“Banditry, slave trafficking, and being the world’s most wanted criminal.” He raised an eyebrow, “Is he an ex-boyfriend?”
“What?!” she leapt on the bed and crawled for the tablet. “What grimdark, slasher fic site did you find on the web? Give me that!”
Vegeta let her rip the tablet from his hands.
She ran her hand across the screen. “Wait… This is on Candle?! A real book?!” She suddenly looked confused as she held the tablet out. “Fairies?”
Vegeta took it from her hand. “‘The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus’, by your ‘Oz’ person. The battle scene showed promise in the movie.” He leaned back into his previously comfortable position, “How about I continue to use your hacked program to teach me how to read your tribe’s script, while you look into your own legends about this immortal toymaker.”
Vegeta put his headphones back on, “You don’t seem to know him very well… Oh,” he slipped one ear off. “If you ever want to see me dress as your holy man, I’d start with the infamous and feared Cossack warrior backstory.”
“Now that’s a grin after my own heart,” Discord sighed, fluttering his eyelashes. Then he elbowed Celestia, “Almost reminds me of your impish smile.”
The memory concluded with Vegeta in costume being chased by a large group of children.
The light kicked them out and this specter materialized dressed in this St. North’s warrior attire twirling one of the two swords absentmindedly. “Coming!” he shouted. He walked off whistling a tune (Good King Wenceslas) before returning to smoke and flying off.
“Oh my Celestia!” Twilight galloped over to Cadence. “Cadence that was AMAZING! There were books! Millions of books! All on this tiny little thing—"
Cadence put her hoof in Twilight’s face, shushing her. “I’m glad you were distracted by this library so you did not have to witness whatever that was. But I don’t need to hear it.”
“Cadence, there was nothing wrong with that memory,” Celestia said. “In fact, that celebration we just witnessed was very much like Hearthwarming. It was quite pleasant.”
“And the swords?” she raised an eyebrow skeptically.
“Dressed in the costume of an aged warrior and famed toymaker declared the patron saint of children celebrated on that day. He and the others sound very much like the Pillars, except actually remembered in daily life,” Luna ended on a sad note.
“And on another fantastic note,” Discord said excitedly, “We’ve confirmed his mare! He married that blue maned one we saw.”
“Joy…”
Suddenly they heard a deep whinny.
They turned and saw Vegeta’s alicorn form galloping away from an army of specters flying after it.
“I don’t want to die!”
“Get back here!”
“You’re only delaying the inevitable.”
“You’re just going to piss her even more off by running away.”
“No! I can’t do this! She’s going to kill me!”
“After him!” Luna ordered and the group joined the chase.
“I’m going to die. I’m going to die. Bulma isn’t going to forgive this fuck up this time. I just screwed up my last chance…”
“Is he… crying?” Cadence said shocked.
“Bulma, I’m so sorry… I’m a horrible husband and father… Please don’t kill me… Please!”
“Bull-mah, well we know his wife’s name now,” Discord quipped.
“Are you sure?” Twilight said. “He’s running in blind terror!”
“A murderer would marry a murderer, Twilight.”
“Bulma is a hero,” Pinkie said forcefully. “And a powerful leader!”
“Are you flying?!” Twilight shouted, briefly skidding to stop before racing to catch up.
Cadence dropped back to help her catch up, “We’re dreaming Twilight,” she softly scolded.
Farther ahead...
“Did Vegeta teach you that?” Discord joked.
“Actually yeah! I figured it out from what he told me. It’s actually really easy! I just never thought of it before because I’m an earth pony… I wish I could race Rainbow Dash.”
“You will recover, Pinkie,” Celestia said firmly. “And I will look forward to you racing the Wonderbolts when all of this is over.”
Ahead, the various specters were releasing lassos and whips of light from their hands, but the alicorn kept slipping through, sometimes returning to smoke to do so.
“Enough!” Luna sent out a lasso of her own. It successfully tightened around his neck. Alicorn Vegeta began to buck and turn to smoke to escape, but the lasso held tight. Then the smoke ball raced off again.
Luna was pulled off her hooves. Celestia wrapped her magic around her sister, but was also dragged off. Discord grabbed Celestia’s tail.
This briefly stopped the cloud, before it began to spin.
The rope wrapped around it and pulled everyone off their feet. They were sucking into the cloud in a flash of light.
“Where did they go?!” Twilight screamed, finally catching up.
“Give it a few seconds,” Cadence said. “They were just pulled in. Your book visit sounded like it was over a few hours but it was only a moment for me.”
~~***~~
The three found themselves tangled in a pile on the floor.
“Augh…” Celestia said, “Where are we?”
“Looks like another Hearth's Warming,” Discord said as he popped himself out of the tangle then helped Celestia off of Luna.
“Vegeta, how could you!”
The three followed the screaming to the next room.
“You’ve lived on this planet seventeen years and you still wait till the last minute!” she continued to rant. “Bulla has been waiting for her Rarity toy all summer, and now all the stores are out! What are we going to tell her in the morning? That Santa forgot?!”
Vegeta just stood there, motionless.
“Oh!” Bulma threw her hands in the air. She pointed at him, “You have until dawn to fix this. And you better hope you think of something!” She stormed off. “And don’t come to bed tonight!” Bulma shouted as the automatic door closed, leaving Vegeta alone with the Christmas tree.
“How long is he going to stand there?” Discord said flying over. “Oh, gosh… I’ve never seen a more pathetic face.”
Luna and Celestia came over.
“Oh, poor dear,” Celestia said. “I just want to wrap a wing around him.”
The three stayed and watched Vegeta stare off into space.
Then the song changed for the fourth time, “We wish you a Merry Christmas…”
Vegeta’s head shot up and he ran from the room.
The three did not need to move as the scenery followed Vegeta racing through the house.
“Seems we finally get to witness these dragon balls,” Discord smiled.
After frantic packing, Vegeta paused in front of a door.
They watched him gather himself, then entered.
Vegeta flipped on the light.
Everyone’s jaws dropped. Discord’s jaw even rolled across the floor.
“What the Buck?!” Celestia and Luna shouted at once.
“I know the reports said Bulla had toys of us,” Celestia said, finally able to speak, “But this is obsessive… No, obsession! Complete obsession! Unhealthy obsession!”
“He’s even dressing her with our likenesses. Wouldn’t others find it strange?” Luna mumbled.
The two jumped out the window, and the three followed. Luna and Celestia reflexively spreading their wings as they went through the air.
A few days passed, then they came to a hot location. He left Bulla half undressed on a bench and walked into a large building.
“This seems to be a large general store,” Celestia looked around when they entered. “There are clothes and a grocer’s.”
Vegeta grabbed a cart and raced through the store with people jumping out of his way and cursing him.
“I see he has no regard for others,” Celestia said, frowning.
Vegeta suddenly skidded to a stop and raced down a new aisle.
They rounded the corner.
The three froze again.
At the back of the store, was a huge banner displaying the images of twilight and her friends with a large heart and writing in their language.
The three slowly made their way over. Easily a quarter of the store was nothing but toys, clothing, and party items of them. There were children and adults throughout, many already wearing clothing with their pictures. Luna and Rainbow Dash seemed the most popular among the few stallions present, while the foals, mostly fillies, were wearing brightly colored versions of Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Princess Cadence. Fluttershy and Rarity’s cutie marks were the most common decorations on the mountains of jewelry and hair ribbons present.
Vegeta was just taking entire clothes racks and dumping them into the cart before sticking his arm out and sweeping in entire shelves indiscriminately.
“We know he is quite wealthy by the grand palace and gardens, but this is rude,” Luna twisted her nose.
Then they saw a little girl start to scream and cry as Vegeta grabbed the item she and her father were looking at off the shelf.
There was a brief confrontation with the father shouting and poking him in the chest, which ended almost instantly when Vegeta showed him a golden card.
Vegeta then put the item in the father’s cart, then the father began piling items into his cart the same way Vegeta had before.
Vegeta then walked into the next aisle. “Hey! I’m a billionaire and buying out the store, grab what you want. I’m paying!”
After showing the skeptical adults the golden card, chaos erupted as everyone started stuffing their carts or just piling stuff high in their arms if they did not have one.
The large train made its way to the front of the store, and Vegeta spoke with and showed the card to the cashier.
The clearly panicking teenager called for a manager and the conversation repeated with Vegeta showing multiple other cards to his growing frustration, then a large wad of green paper and waved it in his face. After the manager took a few of them and ran a marker over them, the manager’s mood completely changed. He reached for a microphone.
“All cashiers to the front! Open all tills!”
Vegeta raised his arms and everyone cheered.
“Is Vegeta paying for everyone?” Celestia said. “That tiny bit of gold can’t be that valuable.”
After everyone went through, Vegeta slipped the gold card into a slot in a black box and pushed some buttons. Then the card came back out and he put it away.
“He’s leaving with the gold? How did he pay?” Celestia gasped.
“Well, he did something considering he just got the receipt,” Discord said. “And now the manager is shaking his hand.”
Vegeta walked out the door into the parking lot with his cart piled high with plastic bags. He put his foot on the back and pushed the cart into a fast roll and glided across the parking lot to the store fronts on the opposite side of the lot.
“Hey, Bulla,” he said, rolling up to her. “Ready to go to the beach? I got your suit and floaties.”
“Beach! Beach! Beach!” Bulla cheered, jumping up and down.
Discord wrapped his arms around the clearly frazzled sisters and pulled them in. “Well despite the horror of the subject matter, that was definitely one of the greatest acts of generosity we’ve ever witnessed. Let’s see what other chaotic acts of friendship he commits.”
A few hours later…
“That was one of the most horrible acts of violence I’ve ever witnessed! That poor child,” Celestia shouted. “No bully deserves that!”
“But with the level of corruption on display, a rough hand of some sort seemed necessary, sister. And despite the horrid display, no one is injured. Just broken property and wet pants.”
“Are we not going to talk about how he LIT HIMSELF ON FIRE?! He was glowing, GLOWING from the inside!” Discord was waving his arms. “He said THAT is what he really looks like. That was amazing! Incredible! If I had my powers, I’d zap a shirt and hat on with his face and declare myself a fanboy!”
“Discord…” Celestia sighed frustrated. “So,” she looked at Luna, “How much longer is this memory? It’s been easily a week…”
“They have collected most of them, so I assume a few more days at most. But remember this is basically instantaneous to Twilight and the others on the outside. And then instantaneous to the others in the waking world, thus is the time dilation in dream walking.”
A few days later, they were clearly in a poor and rural part of the planet.
The princesses were clearly disturbed and they tiptoed through crowds following Vegeta and Bulla on his motorcycle. Even Discord was weirded out.
“I can’t believe all of these beings aren’t sentient,” he said subconsciously moving out of the way of a donkey pulled cart. “It’s like looking at zombies.”
Eventually Vegeta came to a stop, looked at the locator, then began talking to locals, eventually finding tourists who spoke his language. They led them to their tour group and they joined the trip into the mountains— riding donkeys.
Bulla was ecstatic, petting and even kissing their heads. The donkeys were keeping their distance from Vegeta, one even escaping its bridle and darting as fast as it could away.
“They’re scared of him,” Celestia said. “He hasn’t done anything though?”
“Remembering we are looking at… animals…” Luna said awkwardly. “Animals often have an instinctual reaction to ponie—beings. Vegeta is proud, rude, and aggressive. They are picking that up and they don’t like it.”
One animal was finally coaxed over and Vegeta got on, only for the animal to go insane and eventually buck him off.
“Ow…” Vegeta groaned on the ground. He sat up. “Fine! Fuck all of you, I’ll fucking walk!”
“It’s over 6 kilometers,” one of the guides said.
“I can run more than that in 5 minutes,” Vegeta said standing up.
“At, 2,400 meters?”
“I’ve gone high enough to flip off aircraft,” Vegeta growled annoyed, “I’m fine.”
“Oh, hey!” another tourist raised his arm, “Another mountain climber. Awesome! You do Everest yet?”
“No, but,” he put both hands on his lower back and he grimaced, “Not really in the mood to talk right now.”
“Oh, ok sure dude. You take care. We can talk later,” he put both thumbs up from his fists.
Vegeta made the trip and got the final ball. Then they flew into the night.
They came to an island, and Vegeta set Bulla up to sleep.
“Baaaaa.”
“Oh, hey a bunch of goats. How’d you get here? There are no humans around for at least an hour flying.”
“Baaaaa.”
“You’re not as smart as the donkeys, are you?” Vegeta chuckled. Then he stretched his arms in front of him and cracked his neck. “Shall we get this over with while Bulla’s sleeping, Lunch, Brunch, and Dinner?”
The three goats ran into the trees.
Vegeta smiled and ran after them.
“No! No!” Celestia turned her back, got on her knees and covered her eyes. “I’m not watching this! I’m not watching this! Luna DO something!”
“I… I can’t.”
“You two hide if you must,” Discord said. “I can tell you when it’s over.”
“Discord… you don’t have to make this sacrifice…” Celestia’s voice quivered.
“I do eat meat, Celestia,” Discord said. “I can handle this better than the two of you. Go somewhere, I’ll be fine.”
Celestia and Luna went airborne and stayed in the sky for what felt like hours.
Discord eventually flew up. “Hey, Vegeta is about to use the balls.”
They came down and landed just as Vegeta spoke.
“Eternal Dragon, I summon you to grant my wish.”
A great flash of light came from the balls before a blinding column rocketed into the air. The wind roared and twisted with thunder and the sky turned black.
Bulla yipped and fell backwards.
Celestia and Luna fell on their haunches as well, hugging each other in terror.
“Sister! This magic is smothering! It hurts to breathe.”
“It hurts because Vegeta is hurting!”
Discord was laughing maniacally. He raised his arms in the air ecstatically. “My brother! My brother in CHAOS! No wonder you were able to do all of this! Unbounded by flesh and blood as we’re supposed to be!” He continued to laugh like a mad man, his voice completely lost in the wind.
The Eternal Dragon fully materialized from the light. “What is your wish?”
Vegeta glanced at Bulla. “Bulla. Bulla, stand up,” he scolded.
Bulla trembled to her feet.
“And don’t hide behind me either,” he scolded, sidestepping her.
“Forgive her Eternal Dragon! This is her first witness,” Vegeta shouted up before returning to her. “You will stand before him alone,” he said before walking back towards the camp.
The scene naturally shifted backwards as he walked away.
The three saw Bulla standing alone trembling before him, attempting to stand stiff and straight.
“Poor dear,” Celestia said, still clinging to Luna, “She looks like she is going to faint.”
“I cannot grant any wish. Only what is within my power,” the Dragon said. A few moments later, he spoke again. “Yes, that is within my power… Yes, I can do that as well…”
Vegeta uncrossed his arms and leaned forward, worry all over his face.
“Your wishes have been granted.”
Bulla vanished. And Vegeta bolted over.
“Where did she go?! What did she wish for?!” he shouted up at the dragon.
“She wished to be teleported to the edge of the Everfree Forest I materialized for her.”
“And you sent her alone!” he shouted.
“I granted what I was asked!” he roared, “I am not the one who left her alone.”
Vegeta's eyes darted around as he thought. “Wait…” he looked back up, “If you’re still here that means you still have one wish to grant?”
“Yes.”
“I wish for the same thing she did!” Vegeta shouted.
“Your wish has been granted.”
The flash of light kicked the three out of the memory. Alicorn Vegeta was hogtied with every rope imaginable. There was no escape for it this time.
The other specters began dragging the whimpering alicorn away.
“Princess Celestia! Luna!” Twilight ran up to them. Then she slid to a halt.
Celestia and Luna were trembling, slipping on their hooves as they stood.
“What the hay happened!?” Twilight screamed seeing their rulers completely in shock and disheveled.
“Twilight!” Discord greeted her like a giddy foal. “We just met the wish granting dragon!” He put his hands on his cheeks, “His magic was so overwhelming it was painful. And that was just what Vegeta was feeling. If we had been there in real life we could have been smothered and died just from his aura alone! And then the spells he cast!” He raised his arms in the air, “Vegeta was right! We had no idea the power this dragon wielded. In one spell he used more magic than in all of Equus and the other celestials COMBINED! And he cast THREE of them!” He began hopping and clapping his hands, “Oh! I wish I could talk with him without dying! He seems fun.”
“Yes…” Celestia said. “A true horror even eldritchs would fear…” Celestia then sat back down and put her hooves to her temples, “Oh! That world looked so kind and peaceful only to have such creatures stalking the land! Vegeta’s true form is the last of our worries.”
“Oh my gosh! That was amazing as well! He was glowing. Glowing! And surrounded by a flame that didn’t burn anything it touched.”
“Oh!” Pinkie bounced over, “You saw him go super Saiyan? Yeah, that’s amazing huh? He said he glows because of all the ki in his body so he has to suppress it to look like a normal human. He’s so used to it; he doesn’t even think about it anymore.”
“Super Saiyan? Oh, that does sound like fun.”
“Will you two stop acting like this crisis is some kind of game?!” Cadence shouted. “Look at the princesses! They are frazzled! This has never happened before!”
“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!” Twilight began to spin. “You’re right! We’re in terrible danger if the princesses are panicking.”
“Everyone. Calm. Down. Now,” Luna shouted in full Canterlot voice.
Everyone looked at her.
She cleared her throat. “As truly unsettling as his world is, he is a prince and his wife is from a powerful noble family with more influence than the king of her country where he dwells. We have their promised friendship and willingness for a military alliance that must go through his wife once contact is reestablished. All we witnessed were friends. And better our friends than Equestria’s enemies.”
Celestia shakily got to her hooves. “Yes. Princess Luna is right. These horrors are our new friends. We must trust Vegeta and his kindness.”
“Cadence, silence!” Luna scolded.
“I did not say anything.”
“Hey! They are getting away,” Discord waved his arms pointing.
Luna took the lead, then looked back and waited trotting in place. “Make haste, hurry!”
~~***~~
While they walked, Pinkie and Discord were geeking out over everything each had seen.
“You seem strangely unaffected for someone who claims to have seen the same thing?” Cadence glared.
“Vegeta walked me through it,” she answered.
“So, he edited it to be more favorable to him.”
“Princess Cadence,” Luna stopped and stomped her front hooves. “Stop it.”
The alicorn Vegeta’s ears started to flick as he began to look around.
Luna immediately stopped and raised her wings to stop everyone.
“I thought he couldn’t see us,” Celestia whispered.
“He shouldn’t, but this version hast met us,” Luna whispered back.
After glancing around, alicorn Vegeta looked to the groups right. “Guys,” he said worried. “Left. Left.”
“We know,” the specters all said in unison.
Everyone looked to their right.
A wall of black clouds was following them, in the center of which was an undulating outline of overlapping specters that had not fully fused.
It was Vegeta, in armor with shoulder pads and tassets hanging from the breastplate. There was some kind of monocle over his eye.
“Are you done fighting?” one of the ghosts asked. “We need you.”
“Yeah… Yeah, I’m good,” alicorn Vegeta hung his head.
The group turned to clouds, fused, then raced off.
The armored specter also turned to smoke and raced off in the same direction, parallel but never crossing.
“How can you claim this pony is anything but a monster after seeing THAT?!” Cadence pointed.
“Discord—” Celestia started, worried.
“Let’s not jump to conclusions,” he interrupted. “Just because Vegeta has broken into two parts does not mean it’s along the lines of pure good and evil.”
“Yeah!” Pinkie shouted. “Even if he has, our good Vegeta is going to win! Just like with Babidi’s mind control spell.”
“No,” Luna said vehemently, shocking the others. “I’m not going to let Vegeta die, even by his own hands.” Luna stood in front of the group. “Vegeta now has something he did not have access to previously, our friendships and our mind magics directly supporting his battle. She held her hoof up at chest height like a fist,” We shalt not fail or forsake our mission to protect the minds of our ponies again!”
Author's Note
The part where Vegeta gets a lesson on Santa Claus is from my fan fic A Christmas Visage for Vegeta on AO3 and fanfiction.net. Rememeber, I am BearstarSeraph on all of my sites!
Chapter 18: Divided Loyalty Part 2
Chapter 18: Divided Loyalty Part 2
The group's journey continued, and they noticed a distinct pattern.
“Almost all his memories with armor are traveling towards the side of the monster,” Cadence said.
“That must be the general armor style from when he was drafted as a toddler,” Discord said.
Just to prove a point, what looked like an eight-year-old specter and a shadow of another child were playing ball with what was clearly a severed head. The two were laughing like normal children and echoes of adults cheering and encouraging them played out over the several seconds the memory was visible before it returned to smoke and raced off to the right side.
Cadence and Twilight made sounds like they were trying not to vomit.
“Yep. Definitely two legged ancient griffons,” Celestia said trying to keep her composure.
“Agree,” Luna agreed quickly. “Thank the stars he has found his way to the light after such an upbringing.”
“You’re acting like this is normal?!” Cadence shouted.
“The reason it is no longer normal on Equus is because we MADE it not normal on Equus,” Luna snapped at her. “Know your history and be thankful to your ancestors who made it so you could look at such a scene and vomit as a response.”
Then the group came across a specter sitting on the invisible line staring out into nothing. As they got closer it was clear it was the youngest visage they had seen yet, clearly one of his earliest memories.
What looked like black clothing at first became bruising all over his naked body and the twisting made it obvious he had a broken arm and shoulder. His hard breathing also hinting at ribs as well. His hair was matted flat with dried gore that also covered half his face.
A cloud came up to the broken and listless toddler from the right. It was the previous eight-year-old specter who raised his foot and placed it on the head at his feet.
“And what’s wrong with you?”
“Papa… killed Mama… brother… gone… hit me… won’t stop…”
“His father did this to him?!” Twilight shouted.
“Tsk,” the older child turned his head disgusted. “You know he’s doing this to you because you're being weak, right?”
The toddler slowly turned to look at him, jerking and twitching like a broken animatronic.
“Small children are attracted to weakness. It is easy, simple— lazy. It robs the Saiyan people of our strength, our PRIDE. Weakness is fatal. The extinction of our race.
“Do you want to die like your precious Mama?” he mocked. “Do you want to be abandoned on some desert planet on the edge of the galaxy like Tarble?” He leaned down, “Do you want to be alone? Father could easily do either, you were sitting in your Mama’s lap when he shot off the top half of her body. Father beat you unconscious when he ripped Tarble from your arms. You know exactly what Papa can do, but he hasn’t, has he?”
He bent over and gently lifted the toddler’s chin. “It is because you're strong. You are the strongest Saiyan ever born. You are destined to be the first super Saiyan in one thousand years. You are destined to kill Frieza and take his place as ruler of the galaxy. You have the strength to lift the entire Saiyan race to prosperity and power than even Father has accomplished.” He got in his face, “BUT YOU CAN’T DO THAT IF YOU ACT LIKE YOU'RE WEAK.
“Your Mama’s mind was weak, and she was teaching you weakness. That is why you stole Tarble to try and keep him from being abandoned. But all you did was help your Mama kill him.”
The toddler showed a slight bit of confusion in his dead eye, the other swollen over and useless.
“Don’t you remember when Papa took us to the spaceport to watch the thousands of third-class babies being sent off? I do. Father told us weak babies like that were killed in his generation, but in Frieza’s army they found purpose. Babies are sent off to weak planets, both physically and mentally, poor idiotic races that don’t have the stomach to kill an innocent baby no matter what the race. But there are no innocent Saiyans, are there? No… we are born to kill. Violence and death is braided into every strand of our DNA. In three years, soldiers come back for them, remember?
“And if the planet’s population is extinct or close enough, the child gets to come back a hero and joins the army like everyone else at three. But if they were killed by the locals or just hadn’t been able to do something as simple and easy as clear a planet of weaklings for some reason, the soldiers just finish the job and kill ALL the weaklings. But you… YOU had to just kill your brother, didn’t you. Even if Tarble does his duty flawlessly, Father can never let him come back now. Because you showed WEAKNESS. And there will always be a shadow over Tarble now. Did he REALLY do his job and earn his right to join the army, or did he actually fail and it is being hidden? Just like when Tarble’s weakness was being hidden as a baby by not sending him off right away and the deaths of the doctors involved.
“Did you really have to kill those doctors? Tarble might have had a chance to live if you hadn’t. Father could have covered it up, just like when you cried before? But Noooooo, you had to kill some of Frieza’s men. You did not trust Tarble’s Saiyan blood because your Mama filled your head with weakness, and now they are both dead. Tarble’s will most definitely be slow, painful, and lonely.
“Cast off your WEAKNESS, the POISON and the LIES that flesh incubator filled your brain with. You’re still young enough that the wiring in your brain isn’t set in stone yet. So abandon and forget everything that is wrong in this world and embrace the truth of your glory—”
A cloud suddenly raced from the left and an arm materialized. Its fist connected with the surprised eight year old and sent the specter flying.
The fist soon connected to a body, dressed in the only style of armor they had ever seen go to the left.
It knelt down and turned the toddler’s head.
“Papa?” he muttered confused.
“No, I’m sorry. I’m just a bigger version of you.” It looked to the side, “Just like him.” It looked back down. “I need you to ignore him and come with me.”
“But…”
“Mama was right. Mama was right about everything. Come with me, there are some nice people I want you to meet.”
“They are not people, they are beasts,” the child had recovered and reformed. “Pets at best or dinner at worst.”
The toddler glanced at the child before looking up at the adult. “I’m not hungry…”
“Shut up!” the adult barked. “Father’s teachings have run their course. They are worthless now. Mother’s words are all that remain to be built on.”
“You can tell yourself that all you want. But you’ve never actually changed,” the voice suddenly deepened. “You’ve never actually chosen. You always say this thing and that. Different planet, bestiality, half cast mule. But if you have a proper Saiyan woman. If you had a REAL Saiyan child, how would you raise him? You’re a coward that hides behind a million graves and a billion asteroids. You know what you would do. You’ve done it before. You left that living fleshlight and her spawn to die on the battlefield. The time traveling Super Saiyan? Even after you found out he was the surviving baby you left to die, the only time you didn’t completely ignore him was when you were beating him to a pulp, torturing him. And despite everything, he never lifted a finger against you until you made yourself the enemy that he needed to kill to stop the apocalypse he came from from coming to pass.
“Look at him,” he gestured to the toddler between them, “Imagine him with your beloved incubators red hair if you must. But tell me, if a full blooded Saiyan, a true heir to the Blood throne, had pulled what YOU fully know HE DID, wouldn’t you make your son look like him? Wouldn’t you make him look WORSE?”
The adult Vegeta grimaced and stumbled backwards gripping his chest. Then a huge cloud leapt from him, leaving him almost completely transparent as he fell on his stomach.
The cloud briefly twisted, as if looking back, before racing off.
The child chuckled darkly and the transparent specter struggled to lift its head.
Only to see a child’s boot smash down on it, the shockwave completely vaporizing the smoke into nothingness.
The child spit at the spot, chuckling darkly. Then it returned to the confused toddler. It extended his hand, “Come with me,” its voice returned to a child’s pitch. “You don’t want Papa to abandon you, right? You can’t stand being alone.”
“No, Papa!” the toddler cried out of its only good eye and raised its only working arm. “I want Papa!”
The eight-year-old smirked in victory and took the child’s hand. They turned to smoke and fused, then raced off.
Luna ran over and lit her horn, but no vapors gathered.
“He’s… completely gone…” Luna hung her head.
“He’s eaten ponies. He’s actually eaten ponies. He’s eaten ponies…” Twilight mumbled spinning around in a panic.
Cadence put her hoof over Twilight’s back, stopping her spin. “Watching how this so-called ‘Good Vegeta’ collapsed under almost no questioning,” Cadence walked over to Luna. “I believe it’s safe to conclude the largest collection of his consciousness is a collection of all the evil in his heart.”
“Silence!” Luna’s voice boomed. “If thy say one more word, we shalt kick thee out!!!”
“Luna,” Celestia galloped over. She put her wing over her back and hugged her neck. “Everything is going to be fine.”
Pinkie came over and sat down. She tapped her hoof to her chin thinking. Then her eyes lit up and a baton appeared in a flash of light. It began moving back and forth as Pinkie bobbed her head side to side.
“Pinkie, what are you…” Twilight began, but stopped and looked around twitching her ears, “Is that music?”
“Yep, It’s one of Vegeta’s favorites. He usually has it in the back of his head.”
The orchestral piece grew louder, but then it started repeating like a broken record. Pinkie also began raising her hoofs up in the air at the end beat.
“Pinkie, if Princess Luna couldn’t—”
“Look!” Discord pointed.
All around on the ground, wisps of fog boiled up out of nothing and began forming small drawings of wood splinters. Soon they were surrounded.
Then the splinters began glowing to the repeating beat.
Then they stood up.
Then they formed thousands of drawings of brooms with arms growing out of their handles and their bristles parted as legs.
Then buckets appeared in each of their hands.
Then smoke boiled out of the ground and flowed into the buckets forming thick clouds.
Everyone looked around.
“Pinkie, whatever you’re doing, keep doing it!” Luna shouted.
“Which way do we need to go Princess Luna?” Pinkie asked.
Luna lit her horn.
She pointed forward and to the left. “That way! That way!”
Pinkie began to bounce off in that direction as the music finally marched forward again.
As did the army of living brooms in lock step to the music.
~~***~~
The group walked on, following the dancing Pinkie who was now wearing what looked like a ratty red bathrobe and a bad copy of Starswirl’s hat without the bells.
More clouds of smoke had joined them, either forming brooms of their own or flowing like water around them, the crests of its waves pulsing with the beat.
“How many times is this song going to repeat?” Cadence asked.
“We think this must be a ballet of some kind,” Luna said. “And this section of the music is performed to magic brooms carrying water.”
“This has to be one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen,” Celestia said.
“Dreamwalking is an art for a reason,” Luna said. “This IS working. There are even clouds drifting over from the right.”
“Not a lot though,” Cadence thought.
“Hey, Luna? How much farther?” Pinkie asked.
Luna lit her horn. “We should be seeing it any moment.”
Soon after, they spotted it. What looked like hundreds of bipeds standing around in a thick fog.
They all stopped whatever they were doing to look at the coming spectacle.
Pinkie waved her baton like a wand and an empty water cistern appeared. The song progressed and the brooms began to empty their buckets. It quickly overflowed, but the smoke stayed and simply circled around, still pulsing to the beat.
Five shades stepped out of the main cloud. The common thread between all their appearances was a three circle motif. A head band with two circles, balloons tied to his wrist, the symbol on a shirt, the symbol on a ball cap. The fifth was the most festive of the group, and the only one that looked happy. He was wearing a shirt with the exaggerated caricature of an old man with a beard. The bag hanging at his waist like a belt had the three circle symbol as the zipper charm.
And he was wearing the wizard’s hat.
He stepped forward, chuckling. Then he raised his arms.
Pinkie’s clothes and baton immediately vanished and the song stopped.
The specter became dressed in a red robe and white gloves. He began waving his arms and the music picked up again. He soon gained a pinkie-esque grin and his robes began to bounce as he bobbed his head.
The one with the balloons cupped his hands around his mouth. “Boooo!”
“You look like a moron!” the one with the shirt shouted.
“Fuck off! You like the Fantasias too and you know it!”
“Not in public!” the one in the ball cap shouted exasperated. He clawed the air with a look of horror on his face.
The wizard Vegeta lifted both his hands and extended one of his interior digits and spun around before returning to waving his arms.
Pinkie began bounding around the oblivious specter, adding to the silliness of the ridiculous scene.
Celestia couldn’t help but giggle. “I believe we found the element of laughter in his heart.”
“And judging from the other specters’ reactions,” Discord said, pointing, “he is completely embarrassed that it exists.”
The others noticed the shades still in the fog. Many had turned their backs or stood to the side blocking their view with a hand.
“What about there?” Cadence pointed.
She pointed towards a growing group of specters who were locking arms and forming a circle with their backs to the center, now starting its third ring.
“They are hiding something. Can we get in there?” she asked.
“But hiding from who?” Celestia looked at Luna. “You said they don’t know we are here.”
“They don’t,” Luna said and lit her horn.
A light wall similar to a doctor’s scan appeared and moved forward.
It passed through the growing group and they saw what they were hiding.
A teenager and the only shoulder-padded armor specter they had seen so far on this side. It was curled up and rocking back and forth mumbling “showingweaknessshowingweaknessshowingweakness…”, when it was corporal at all. Half the time it was a violently undulating cloud.
“It looks like it’s in pain,” Celestia said.
“It is,” Luna said. “It is a memory that does not want to be remembered. This is a trauma response.”
“Well? Let’s see it.”
“No, Cadence,” Luna’s horn faded and the wall of specters returned. “We are here to piece him together, not pry on his most vulnerable moments.”
“If you don’t want me to go home, grab the crystal heart and shred his soul into ethereal nonexistence, then show me.”
“Cadence!” Celestia shouted, stopping Pinkie’s bouncing.
“I will stand outside the city walls if I have to!”
“Luna,” Discord said. “I think Vegeta would forgive this, if the alternative is civil war.”
“Cadence?!” Twilight stared wide eyed at her babysitter.
“I am not backing down on this!” Cadence stomped her hoof.
Luna lit her horn. “We’re so sorry, Vegeta…” she whispered.
~~***~~
They appeared in a hellscape of rubble. Vegeta was straightening his uniform and walking towards a mixed group of about 20 aliens, with only two looking like him.
“So many different bipeds,” Luna looked around.
“This memory is so blurred,” Cadence said, “Can’t you do something Luna?”
“Thou art lucky we can even pull this much out of his mind, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. The mind protects its own sanity by blocking and erasing traumatic memories. It is why the specter could not hold its shape.”
“If everyone else is finished with their frivolities, I say we get going,” Vegeta said.
“Heh… I knew something was up,” Vegeta heard from his right.
A head popped up from behind the rubble wall, “Hey! Monkey boy! You’re still a fucking virgin aren’t you?”
The biped then dragged a half-clothed corpse into view, with a clearly snapped neck.
“What the fuck are you talking about?!” Vegeta shouted. “Stick your fingers in if you don’t believe me!”
“I did! There’s no blood!”
The others started to laugh and point.
“Not everyone enjoys internal organs on their dicks! If you mutilate your bitches, that’s on you.”
“Naw. Naw. There’s always blood no matter what. If there’s no blood, that means they couldn’t bleed. You’ve been killing them first!”
“Vegeta!” A large bald one that looked like him shouted, frustrated.
“See! Even the blockhead who raised you thinks I’m right!”
“So he likes them a little stiff!” the other one that looked like him shouted. “Who cares?”
“You’re both not helping!” Vegeta shouted, not talking his eyes off his accuser.
“Wha—what’s going on? I don’t get it,” Twilight said looking at the adults.
“Luna, get her out of here,” Celestia whispered.
Luna lit her horn and Twilight vanished from the vision.
The accuser touched his monocle, “Hey Pepi, did you call in the number of bitches yet? … Great! Grab a pretty one and a video camera! We got a virgin!”
“I am not a virgin!”
“Then you’re getting a free high-level bitch? Why you complaining?” he chuckled. “Unless YOU’RE the little bitch?!”
Everyone but the two started laughing.
“You know what’s going to happen to you once your little charade gets exposed when we get back, right?”
Other memories flashed quickly, showing the remains of mutilated young males, including meals cooked from them.
“If I don’t at least do the same amount… I’m going to be next…”
Just then, a woman with a metal collar and cuffs behind her back was dragged over, or at least that was the sensation they had as there was nothing there.
“Luna,” Cadence said as the memory began rapidly deteriorating.
“All we are seeing is all that is there,” she shot back.
“I got the camera!” they heard as the sides around them went black and what little was in front became a blur that was quickly devoured by expanding blobs of darkness.
“Wait… we're doing monkey porn? I can’t sell that…” was the last outside stimuli as everything went dark and a raging tinnitus squeal filled their ears.
There was a feeling of being shoved forward from behind before everything stopped.
Frozen. Cold. Blackness. Both numb and pure pain at the same time. Then the floor disappeared.
Luna flashed her horn as they began to fall.
~~***~~
The four came out splayed out on the floor.
“Princess Celestia!” Twilight ran up. “Wha-what was that?” She began to spin, “I don’t get it? What was—”
Discord suddenly leaped and grabbed her head in his claw.
“Nothing. Worth. Remembering,” he said harshly as her eyes began to ripple with colors.
“nothing… worth… re…” she mumbled back.
Discord let go and her eyes returned to white.
She rubbed her eyes. “Princess Celestia? Cadence? Why were you on the ground?”
The three alicorns turned and glared at Discord.
“You know I’m right,” he said, crossing his arms.
Celestia sighed as they all stood. “It’s ok Twilight, don’t worry about it.”
“Are you-?”
“It’s ok Twili,” Cadence put her hoof on her back, “Trust me.”
“Oh… ok…”
“CANNONBALL!!!”
Everyone turned and saw wizard Vegeta jump into the cistern.
Then the clouds began to spin and dive in.
Then there was a beastial roar.
A huge, towering monster rose from the dark with a long muzzle of razor-sharp teeth.
All the alicorns puffed their feathers instinctively and a glimmer of magic lit the tip of Cadence’s horn.
Then—
The beast started to dance.
Feathers returned to normal as they began to realize the monster was wearing the same robe and wizard’s hat.
Luna finally recognized the form Vegeta took as he delaminated as he began to put his fists together and rotated them in a circle.
“You’re a dork!” a specter called out.
The beast raised its arms and roared, “I am the biggest dork!”
The princesses then heard a clicking noise. They looked and saw Discord with a film camera.
Celestia popped it out of existence. “Don’t waste what little magic you have.”
Discord crossed his arms.
The beast Vegeta then began waving its arms in front and behind him, switching the arms with every pass. “Yeah!” he smiled like a dog.
Suddenly, the joy stopped. The towering beast poofed and the wizard Vegeta appeared in its place.
It ran over to the circling specters.
“Move! Let me through.”
The group hesitated but eventually stepped aside.
The wizard knelt next to the panic-frozen teenager. It took its hat off, then glowed. It put its hand on cloud in the general area where the shoulder would appear.
Half a face solidified and its single eye looked up terrified.
“Do I look weak?” the wizard asked.
The half face moved like it was shaking its nonexistent head.
“Then let me take your burden. You will never have to fear ever again.”
The cloud leapt at him and they dematerialized and fused. What came out was a form they had never seen before.
The white gloves and boots of the armor, but dark blue cloth pants and shirt with no sleeves tucked neatly by elastic at the waist.
It turned around and they saw something no one expected from the fusion of pure fear and pure joy—
Pure, unmistakable, unadulterated…
Rage.
“Cowards!” it boomed. “Why didn’t you help him?!”
“He was fine until you—”
The specter was cut off by a punch in the face.
A brawl broke out, with some trying to stop the fight, others joining in.
But none joining the new specter.
It wasn’t enough.
Everyone ducked as a stray blast came in their direction.
“How the hay does fueling someone’s happiness turn into this?!” Twilight shouted.
A slow clap brought the fight to an instant halt.
They turned and faced the armored mist as a shadowy specter came into view.
“Luna.”
“We know sister. That side is solidifying rapidly.”
“Poor little you,” it said with an icy smile, “Didn’t you promise that pathetic little wimp to never become a victim? And look at you now. The personification of victimhood. ‘I should be allowed to be happy, but I can’t because I have to be the adult in the room,’” it said in a high-pitched mocking voice. “‘But Kakarot died and everyone just gave up. His kids have completely abandoned the path of the warrior and any discipline you try and put into Trunks is undermined by her and her parents. I’m the only one taking anything seriously. Happily Ever After will always end up a lie unless continually written in fresh blood by those who will never enjoy it.’”
It laughed boisterously. “You’re even more pathetic than him.”
The rage specter stepped in between the others and it.
“And now you play hero to the ones you were just smashing their faces in? Hysterical!” It laughed again.
Luna stood, “We need to act now. While they are both still unformed.”
Luna lit her horn.
The specters all looked around at the ground.
“What the?!” they all could get out before rippling into smoke.
The smoke began to push and swirl together.
Then it stopped.
Luna stained as her horn glowed a blinding white.
She made some progress before it stopped again.
“It’s like there’s a wall…” Luna said, “But there’s nothing there. It almost feels like scarring, but it’s so thick. Tis like… burns. Horrible burns…”
Luna redoubled her efforts until she was glowing as brightly as the sun.
While everyone was burning their corneas, Pinkie was looking down.
A black slime was making its way silently along the ground.
She scooped some up. It dripped like tar oil from her hoof.
She held up her hoof. “This isn’t part of Vegeta.”
“Dark magic!” Cadence screamed.
The sludge reared up like a snake and attacked the cloud, soon plunging into gaps caused by the scars refusing to fuse together.
The resulting scream, layered in a thousand voices, broke everyone’s ear drums.
The magic began ripping the cloud apart from the inside out while the rest wrapped around it, leaving red tears that looked more like a chainsaw through flesh than any ethereal cloud.
Before anyone could react, the bleeding and shredding cloud briefly unified in a single overpowering memory. A glory lit like gold in the darkness outlining the hidden specter.
“You may have my mind and body. But there is one thing a Saiyan always keeps… HIS PRIDE!”
A new screech was heard, a dying wail as the snake was torn into small pieces of goo, sent flying in all directions before being incinerated by the following blades of light.
The cloud began to try to stay together. But the damage was done. The raw, red tendrils flailed and screeched in pain whenever they touched.
Eventually the cloud bifurcated, looking like two octopuses twisting their arms around each other in one last attempt despite the literal howling.
The pain became too much and the two flew apart and rolled across the ground.
The invisible line that had divided the mindscape lit into a translucent red wall as far as they could see. Then a symbol appeared on the divide.
“What is that?” Twilight asked. “Two mountains with curved edges?”
“It’s the brand of whatever dark mage first cast the geas,” Celestia said. “The locus of control.”
The symbol glowed, then vanished. Right before the wall shattered like tempered glass and evaporated into nothingness.
“Owe… Fuck…”
“Vegeta!” Pinkie ran over to him.
Vegeta slowly got to his feet.
Pinkie slid to a stop.
Vegeta was dressed in the same clothes as the rage specter, except his clothes were torn as he bled from dozens of wounds.
Then the sound of evil laughter made everyone turn.
There was a second Vegeta dressed in the shoulder pad armor. But this time he had a red cape, a large pendant, and some weird symbol with three spikes on the armor’s chest plate.
“The Sleeper has awakened! I’m the Prince of all Sai—”
A blast hit his face leaving black burn marks.
“You interrupted my monologue?! How dare you!” he threw off his necklace and cape.
“Shut up,” the injured Vegeta said, lowering his arm. “No one cares about that anymore.”
“Where is your PRIDE?! ”
“Hopefully both asleep and not sneaking video games again. It’s a school night,” he said taking a fighting stance, “Let’s get this over with so I don’t toss and turn too much and get smothered by an angry pillow.”
“Oh,” he chuckled darkly, “This isn’t a normal nightmare. Haven’t you noticed?” He then began hitting his fist into his palm over and over again making a smacking sound.
Luna looked between them.
“Go ahead. Try and stop me?”
Injured Vegeta’s eyes widened. Then he stood straight and went super Saiyan.
“We can’t feel each other’s presence,” he chuckled darkly and he continued to smack his hands. “But we are both clearly real, which means…”
“No!” Luna shouted. “They’ve both solidified!”
“We are two separate minds.”
Chapter 19: Divided Loyalty Part 3
Chapter 19: Divided Loyalty Part 3
The injured specter did not waste any time and launched himself at the self-proclaimed prince. The prince caught the fist easily then they impacted knees. They pushed apart and the prince transformed as well and went on the counter offensive.
It became apparent to everyone why Captain Spearchucker had lost his mind. The two were barely visible at first, and it took Luna leaving sun shadows on everyone’s retinas before they could be seen at all.
They twisted and moved in ways everything they knew of bipeds said they could not.
“Are you sure they are solid?” Cadence asked. “They move more like water.”
“Yes… they are both bone and flesh. This… this is what Captain Spearchucker saw that drove Vegeta to show him that memory to prove himself.”
“If this power spreads, our pegasi will be completely overwhelmed,” Celestia said.
“We won’t have a choice,” Luna looked at her. “Remember he said this is how war is waged in other parts of the universe.”
“Why does it have to be pegasi?” Pinkie asked. “I can fly now.”
Luna looked at Pinkie, then back at Celestia. “True, sister. We can augment the air force with flying earth ponies and unicorns.”
“You do that,” Discord crossed his arms, “I’ll make sure to buy extra winter coats when the wendigos show back up.”
“Look out!” Twilight screamed, spreading her wings in alarm and lighting her horn.
She teleported the group backwards as injured Vegeta slammed into where they had been standing. He flipped out of the way before the prince dug his right heel to where the other’s stomach was moments before.
Injured Vegeta threw the first ki blast of the battle to gain distance. Prince Vegeta tanked the shot and head-butted injured Vegeta, then grabbed his arm and threw him over his shoulder slamming him into the ground. Prince Vegeta went to stomp on him again but then suddenly jumped back. He grabbed a long slice on his lower arm.
“Did you just try to cut my arm off?!”
Injured Vegeta flipped onto his feet with his back to them. He turned around and revealed a glow extended from his hand.
“Ki can be shaped to act like solid objects,” Celestia muttered.
Injured Vegeta released his blade and flexed his fingers.
“You’re not winning this fight,” he said. “I’m not letting you out.”
“Why? I’m the real you and you know it.”
“No. You’re not. You’re just the child’s fantasy that kept me alive. A mirage that never was and could never be. I am reality.”
“And here I thought you were going to say something about Kakarot having to kill me?”
“Kakarot would rather slay all the gods of heaven and hell before ending our lives. And you know it.” Vegeta spit blood from his mouth, “Damn it… Elder Kai gave me the clear… why is this happening now…”
“Pinkie, do you know who that could be?” Celesta asked.
“He’s one of the gods Vegeta has met,” she said. “One of the top two highest so far.”
“And how does a dark mage know gods?” Cadence asked.
“Someone named Kakarot. Vegeta says he’s an infuriatingly annoying goodie two shoes, but he can talk anyone into anything, even the gods.”
“The same gods he would also kill in a heartbeat? Figures.” She looked at Luna, “How do we fix this?”
“We can’t do anything right now,” Luna said, failing to hide her panic, “Not unless he destabilizes again, or they come into agreement on their own, we could finish things then.”
The battle started again, this time with ki flying.
“So we’re just stuck watching this light show?!” she shouted.
Celestia looked at Discord.
“Don’t look at me. What I could do under normal circumstances would arguably be worse than a simple split. And I’m injured.” He looked back at the fight. “Luna’s right. He needs to fight this out. And it looks like it’s been a long time coming.”
“What do you mean?” Cadence asked.
“Remember what the soccer head child specter said that destroyed the adult? ‘You’ve never actually chosen... a coward that hides behind a million graves and a billion asteroids. ’” Discord pointed, “If one of them is the Prince of All Saiyans, then the logical opposite for the other one is—”
“Earth,” Celestia interrupted. “The personification of his life on Earth.”
“So which one are we rooting for?” Cadence asked dryly.
Luna opened her mouth to speak.
“Vegeta said he is fundamentally an asshole. He’s just learned new, more imaginative ways to be a dick since—”
“Pinkie!?” Twilight gasped.
“What? I’ve always known those words. I just don’t use them.”
“Since when?!”
“My dad and one of my sisters. Especially my sister. I think her special talent is being peeved.”
Twilight gasped in horror.
“I don’t think such a vocabulary lesson is appropriate right now,” Cadence glared in her face.
“Ok,” Pinkie rolled her eyes, “he learned new ways since—”
Cadence wrapped her magic around her mouth, closing it. “Now is not the time for this.”
Pinkie waved her arms around frustrated.
“Pinkie,” Celestia said gently, “I know you want to finish your thought. But the point has been made. So there is no need for you to continue.”
Pinkie looked annoyed, but nodded.
“Cadence.”
Cadence let go of Pinkie’s mouth as she was ordered.
Pinkie then walked around the back of the group and poked Discord. He looked and she waved her hoof for him to come down. She whispered in his ear.
“I see. Let’s hold onto that for now. It might be useful later.”
Pinkie nodded and went back to standing near Twilight.
Celestia raised an eyebrow at Discord as he stood.
~~***~~
The brutal fight continued. The injured one not holding back, but the prince was not caught off guard again. He predicted another stab attempt and parried the newly formed blade with a barrier before another head butt. But the injured one grabbed his arm, got behind him and piledrove him into the ground. He flipped away as the prince got up.
Twilight was on the ground, occasionally peeking through her hooves. “This is horrible…”
“They seem equally matched,” Cadence said. “Most of their blows are being parried or blocked. But they are the same person, so they know how each other fights intimately.”
“You’re wrong, Cadence,” Celestia said. “There is a difference. It's subtle, but growing.”
The prince pulled himself out of the ground. He rubbed his neck grimacing.
The other one was crouched and ready to attack.
And breathing hard, sweat and blood dripping down his face.
The prince rubbed his shoulder, grinning menacingly. “Well, well. Look at you, the pitiful sacrificial hero. Which one are you? The one who sacrificed himself to take down Majin Buu? Or the one who nearly got his soul erased from existence when the battle moved to the afterlife and you just couldn’t sit still in hell? Our soul was given form in the clothes we died in, so it’s hard to tell. Either way, you’re a sucker.”
“Souls can be destroyed?!” Twilight screamed.
“Don’t be silly Twilight,” Cadence scolded, “Souls are eternal...”
Celestia smacked Discord with her wing.
This went unnoticed by the younger ponies.
“Don’t believe a word he says,” Cadence finished.
“You came into this beaten half dead already,” the prince continued and he popped his neck and shoulders. “While I’m fresh as a daisy.”
The prince raised his hand like he was flicking his nonexistent cape back over his shoulders. He began walking over haughtily. “You surprise me; out of all the choices, you materialized like this. What? You subconsciously still killing time for Kakarot to save your ass from your own mistakes? There’s no hope or redemption this time. At least you could have worn that ridiculous shirt she gave us on that first day. Make this slightly more amusing.”
“Coming from the one who wore the same clothes for 30 years.” He smirked, “At least I do something interesting. You’re just a rip off of that fire nation meme the Doc likes.”
The prince tilted his head smiling, “Oh… you want to play games? Yeah. I remember those two dragging me off to watch that stupid show because they were too dumb to realize that their stupid planet was stupid precontact.”
He raised his hands to either side at shoulder height, and shocked the ponies as actual fire appeared.
“You want to have fun? Let’s have FUN.”
The prince held his hands to the side and was enveloped by flames. First red, then blue, then black. Dark flames began wrapping around him like a ribbon crawling up his legs as the black in the swirling flames began to materialize some sort of dark colored cape or maybe a robe fluttering wildly in the blazing torrent.
Cadence did not scream this time. Did not recoil. She instantly lit her horn.
“Cadence don’t!” Luna shouted.
But it was too late.
Cadence fired her magic and the beam pierced the prince’s chest.
Blood burst from the injured Vegeta’s chest in an identical wound as the prince fell to the ground.
“Vegeta!” Pinkie ran over to injured Vegeta as he fell to his knees and rolled on his side.
“Pinkie! Wait!” Twilight ran after her.
“What…”
Luna clocked Cadence in the head with her hoof. “Two minds, One Soul! Stars, he could be bleeding in real life!”
Luna raced over. Celestia on her heels.
“But…”
“Cadence,” Discord reprimanded. “What we are witnessing is the equivalent of a pony trying to make a difficult choice. They can hurt each other, BUT they are unified to everyone on the outside.”
Twilight was casting the strongest healing spell she knew. Her magic suddenly mixed with the black mist leaking from the wound and a mirage appeared.
Startled, Twilight tried to stop the spell.
It did not work.
Twilight shouted as she struggled to lift her head. Her hooves slid across the ground unable to gain traction as more and more magic was sucked from her horn.
A biped like Vegeta with bright orange clothes appeared and placed his hand on the wound. The mirage began to rapidly cycle through multiple people. The next two looked identical to the first in the face, then two after wore the same orange clothes as the first. Then a tall individual of the same kind as Dende briefly appeared before a few women and girls made their turns.
The magic finally cut off when the mirage flashed a swirl of pink as Luna and Celestia arrived.
“What happened?” Celestia asked. “You were struggling.”
“I couldn’t cut off the spell!” she shouted. “It was like my magic was being sucked out of me!”
Injured Vegeta rolled on his back and put his hand on where the wound once was.
“What was that…” he muttered. “Why did all my friends just flash in front of me…”
He lifted his clean hand to look at it, “…and none of them can heal…” His eyes widened, “Wait a moment.” He began to feel all over his body. “I’m completely healed. My clothes are fine too.”
“Wait…” he stopped and leaned his head back on the ground. “That wasn’t good Buu at the end… I don’t know anyone else who’s bright pink… do I?”
He rolled over gripping his head. “Why does it hurt to think?”
“Hey! You!”
The no longer injured Vegeta rolled over on his stomach.
The prince was standing, his hand over his chest.
“That’s a different armor,” Twilight said as Cadence and Discord arrived.
“Vegeta must have suffered a similar injury in the past,” Luna said, “And partially reformed.”
“What the fuck do you think you are doing?!”
“That wasn’t me!” he said standing.
“For the love of Saiyara, there is no one here but us!” The prince went super saiyan and spread his arms wide to gather energy.
“The moon goddess…” the formerly injured Vegeta muttered. His eyes widened. “Luna!”
“FINAL FLASH!”
Formerly injured Vegeta transformed and raised his hands.
Cadence lit her horn, but Discord tackled her to the ground, keeping his claw tight on her horn.
Twilight was preparing a teleport, but gasped seeing Discord, interrupting her magic.
Luna raised a shield. But it flickered out. She fell to her knees as her magic was visibly being sucked out of her into the ground.
Black veins suddenly climbed Vegeta’s legs.
His defiant scream mixed with a whinny the last moment before the blinding light collided.
~~***~~
The flash faded, and the ponies were surprised by what was in front of them.
The previously injured Vegeta’s shirt was completely shredded, not from the blast, but by the huge set of black wings erupting from his back.
The feathers were singed and his skin was pinked and steam came from his flesh. Then the energy shield fell and he dropped his arms.
“What the fuck do you think you are now?” the prince said in disbelief, “A fallen angel? And people say I have an ego.”
The now winged Vegeta dropped to his knees and folded his outstretched wings.
“I know you’re here somewhere. I know you won’t leave, but I need you to run. If he gets half a clue he won’t hesitate. And we both know what will happen then.”
Winged Vegeta jumped in the air and attacked the prince. He kept his wings folded and relied on ki to fly.
The pony rulers got a quick lesson on the liability of having wings in a fight as they became the main grapple point.
Bones broke and feathers ripped out before the prince returned the piledrive. He held him down with a foot on his back, grabbed each wing in turn…
And twisted and ripped them from his body.
Everyone grimaced with various degrees of panic. Even Discord briefly let go of Cadence’s horn to hug himself and shivered.
The prince tossed the two wings into a pile.
“Honestly, I don’t know why you would think that would be anything but a handicap,” the prince said, cracking his knuckles. Then he grabbed his hair and pulled him up. The prince made his fist, except his first and middle finger knuckles stuck out.
He began hitting his spine. Over and over again.
Wingless Vegeta screamed. After a few hits, he raised his hand towards the wings.
“What are you doing now? Your pathe—”
The prince’s eyes widened as the wings turned to dust and raced towards them. It impacted the outstretched hand and his white gloves and boots turned dark blue.
He jumped back as blue energy whipped around the crater.
Injured Vegeta stood and his clothes healed, all turning the same shade as his gloves.
“What the hell was that?!”
Injured Vegeta pushed his fists together, revealing a blue force field just above the cloth.
He chuckled darkly, “Well… It’s a good thing we don’t remember the same things, do we?”
He launched forward and punched him in the face.
“Fuck!” he shouted as he came to a stop. He gripped his face as the black mist reformed into his bones, teeth, and flesh. “What the hell did you do?!”
Injured Vegeta crutched down. “Winning!” he shouted as he sprang towards him.
While the prince was finally on the back foot, Luna sat on her butt panting.
“Oh, goodness!” Cadence said with Discord still wrapped around her. “He’s sucking your magic!”
“Sister?”
“We art fine, Celestia.” Luna assured her, “Vegeta has tapped into the surrounding magic. The drain is minor.” She looked back at the fight. “and we now knoweth for sure where our stallion lies between the two.”
“Ugh…” Twilight sat down. “I don’t feel good either.”
Magic Vegeta began laughing hysterically. He began throwing disks of light at the prince. He dodged easily.
Then they started chasing him.
“What the fuck! Krillin can’t do that!”
He went from looking behind him to in front.
Injured Vegeta was in front of him with two fingers on his forehead.
It did not look like Instant Transmission.
“Special Beam Cannon!”
The prince was clipped in his side. He gripped the smoking wound; the pain almost made him lose track of the disks. He spun between two, then ducked only to see the third shredded by the beam. He then was thrown to the ground by being hit with the other’s joined hands to his head.
The prince pulled his head out of the crater. “How the fuck are you doi—!”
He blanched seeing all of the energy gathered into the Masenko.
“The magic of friendship,” injured Vegeta said giddily. “is surprisingly DEADLY!”
“That’s not how it works!” Twilight screamed as Vegeta fired.
“I believe that is how it works for him, my dear Twilight,” Discord said.
“Are you ever going to get off of me?!” Cadence glared at him.
“Not unless I can take your horn with me,” Discord said, gripping her horn tighter. “You were here to observe. And ALL you have done is make everything worse!”
“I made everything worse?! It was Princess L—”
“ENOUGH!” Celestia spread her wings and erupted in golden flames. “Discord is right. You have caused nothing but hurt. Be SILENT! And stay out of the way. Discord, do not release her until we are out.”
“Aye aye, Captain Obvious.”
Celestia sighed at the sarcasm and she returned to normal.
~~***~~
The fight continued, and the prince was taking longer to reform his injuries after every hit.
Luna went over and sat next to Twilight, who was visibly struggling. She put her wing over her.
“Thou art doing well,” Luna comforted her. “Thy magic has turned the tide. Hold on a little longer.”
“It’s not that…” she said, wiping her eyes. “I can’t believe friendship can be used as a weapon.”
“Thou haft defeated many a foe with the elements, Twilight.”
“I know, but it’s not— It’s not… Well, THAT!” she pointed at the battle.
“Aye, tis brutal. But the prince is starting to haft difficulty keeping shape. Ours Vegeta’s new ability to copy the ki spells of his friends he clearly did not know before has given hope.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Pinkie asked. “Earth pony magic would increase his strength, right?”
“Tis true,” Luna scratched her chin, “Alright.” She put her hooves in front of her side by side, “Place your hooves touching mine and we shall assist.”
Pinkie copied the position touching the tips of their hooves. There was a small, brief spark of light before the magic began to flow.
Discord was the first to notice an almost instant change in the fight. The prince kept trying to make space in their general direction while magical Vegeta was trying to herd him away.
“Hey…” Discord briefly looked at Luna and Pinkie before looking back at the fight. “Hey. Hey! Stop whatever you’re doing. Somethings up!”
The prince charged up a large blast.
Then spun around and launched it right at them.
Magical Vegeta instinctively jumped after it and got in between. He was sent tumbling, but regained his footing and slid to a stop in front of the group on his feet and one hand.
“So there is someone else here helping you,” the prince said hovering above. “And if you’re protecting them…”
He grinned menacingly. “They can be KILLED.”
“Scatter! Just do it! Scatter!” Magical Vegeta shouted before he jumped in the air.
“No! We’re stronger together!” Cadence shouted.
“No! Do it!” Discord shouted. “So we know he found us! Was it all of us or one of us?!” He then ran off carrying a screaming Cadence.
“Stay in eyesight!” Celestia shouted as she galloped off.
The group ran.
The prince immediately turned his head and flew off.
After Pinkie Pie.
Injured Vegeta got in between the two and ran beside her. “I don’t know who you are, but try and hide your ki.”
“You haven’t taught me that yet.”
“Wait… I have an apprentice?” he said, shocked.
“Did you hear me for the first time?!” Pinkie bounced with joy.
“Oh, a woman’s voice,” the prince said. “Are you cheating on Bulma?”
Injured Vegeta slid to a stop and charged at him. “I’d never cheat on my wife.”
After a brief fight, the prince again took the opportunity to toss a ki blast in her direction.
Pinkie slid to a stop and faced down the blast.
“Pinkie!” Twilight shouted.
Pinkie’s back hooves began to glow a golden yellow mixed with threads of pink and blue.
She bucked the blast back at them.
Almost four times its original size.
The two Vegetas screamed “Fuck!” and separated as the huge blast went between them.
The two looked at the blast racing away, then back at where it came from.
Injured Vegeta smiled and raised his hands, “And that’s my apprentice!”
“You don’t even remember her name…” the prince growled and resumed the fight.
“Prince Vegeta!” Pinkie shouted. “You need to pull yourself together so you can wake up from your coma!”
“Coma?!”
The prince took advantage of the distraction to return the head shot, sending him into the ground.
“Coma?! What coma?!” the prince shouted. “Where’s Dende?! The Sensu?!”
“I don’t know a Mr. Sensu! But you’re not on Earth now! You’re on Equus!”
“Where’s—”
The sentence was ended by an uppercut.
“Now who’s waiting on Kakarot,” injured Vegeta smirked.
The prince wiped his mouth. “You,” he growled. “You fucking idiot! Did you agree to go on one of his stupid divine requests and almost get yourself killed?!”
Luna teleported next to Pinkie. “I don’t know how you’re doing this, but tell him we can’t wake him up while his mind is fractured like this.”
She nodded. “Princess Luna says we can’t wake you up until you pull yourself together! It’s too dangerous!”
“Then, let’s end this,” the prince chuckled. “I want to see how good this so-called apprentice is before I move on.”
Injured Vegeta floated in between them, “Move on to what?”
“Last I checked I got a bitch on a backwater nowhere,” he gave a sadistic smile. “She’s far too vain to have let herself go. I’m sure she’ll be happy I show up instead of you.”
Injured Vegeta snarled in rage. “What makes you think Bulma would be happy to see you in my body?!”
“I’m the one she fell in love with and knocked her up. Hell, if Bulma hadn’t jumped me, her mother was more than ready to.” He chuckled, “She even said so with her husband right next to her!”
“Yeah. Yeah… we all know where Bulma got her horny bitchiness from. Stop acting like a big man. It was an alcohol fueled revenge fuck that you were perfectly happy walking away from.”
The prince started to shout, “A revenge fuck?! She was courting me for months! And I deemed her worthy! Humiliating Yamcha was just icing on the cake! Don’t insult her like that!”
Injured Vegeta shouted back, “It’s been 17 years! I am her husband! She is MY WIFE! She’s not some rich girl looking for a cheap thrill anymore!”
“Cheap thrill?! You call her work as a warrior a cheap thrill?! She even managed to kill some of Frieza’s soldiers!”
The prince lunged at him, surprising him, sending both into the ground.
The two ponies saw no sanity in his eyes as they rolled on the ground. The prince just wanted blood. Even a hand melting his face and a punch going completely through his torso out the other side did not stop him strangling the other’s neck.
“Do not insult her like that! You do not deserve her as your queen!”
Injured Vegeta finally kicked him off.
“As if she’d ever abandon Earth, even for you!” he shouted, jumping in the air after him.
The prince reformed quicker than he ever had before, and the fight entered a new level of savagery.
~~***~~
Farther away, Celestia saw that Twilight had collapsed. She galloped over. “Twilight? Twilight?”
“I’m sorry Princess Celestia,” she started to cry. “I can’t… I can’t…” she kept repeating as her eyes grayed out.
With the fight, Injured Vegeta raised his hand.
But the destructo disk fizzled away.
He tried a couple more times before putting his fingers to his forehead. But he couldn’t focus his energy.
“Well. Well… Looks like whatever miracle your apprentice caused just ran out.”
Injured Vegeta lit his ki blade and charged. The prince did not dodge and the blade went right through him again. This time he grabbed the other’s arm and reformed, trapping him as he gave his counterpart headbutt after headbutt with an insane grin on his face.
Injured Vegeta’s boots turned white as he supercharged his arm and ripped it out the side.
The smoke reformed almost instantly and the prince threw a punch.
Injured Vegeta crossed his arms to protect his face, only for the fist to mist and reform hitting his face as if he never blocked at all.
He crashed into the ground.
Injured Vegeta spit then wiped his mouth. “What are you, the damn liquid terminator?!”
The prince held his arms out to either side and puffed out his chest. A ripple started at one finger tip and the line of mist moved through his body until his opposite fingers reformed.
He formed his fists. “I think I’ve gotten the hang of this now.”
The group came back together around the exhausted Twilight.
“Doesn’t this count as destabilized?” Cadence shouted looking at Luna. She was still struggling against Discord wrapped around her like an anaconda.
“No. He’s still solid, but he’s found a way to destabilize part of himself as a weapon,” Luna said as they watched the prince completely destroy any attempt at a defense.
Twilight lifted her head “His clothes have changed again,” she pointed. “Isn’t that the good armor?”
“It is the one that always went to the left, yes,” Celestia said. “So, the current split has nothing to do with the original.”
“What are they screaming at each other?” Twilight asked. “I can’t tell the difference…”
“Whatever is going on, they are both fired u— and they are now biting each other,” Discord’s ears drooped.
“Did he just rip the other’s ear off?!” Cadence shouted.
“That hand is now missing a finger…” Luna muttered.
The two separated before charging at each other again.
“SHE BELONGS TO ME!” they both shouted at the same time right before their fists impacted each other’s faces.
“‘She belongs to me, ’” Celestia looked at Luna, “What do they mean?”
Injured Vegeta slid across the ground on his feet and hands, his right hand now missing its pinkie and the top two sections of the ring finger.
“Stop being delusional! I exist because it was the only decision that could be made! What were you going to do, huh? Kill everyone and chain her to the bed?!”
The prince launched another huge blast. “Don’t compare me to Father!”
Injured Vegeta flipped then ran out of the way as the blast flowed at his heels. He jumped in the air.
The massive blast stopped and the prince began a scatter shot.
Injured Vegeta weaved through them only for the prince to get behind him and wrap his left arm around his neck.
“Vegeta!” Twilight shouted while everyone gasped.
“You don’t think you’re the only one who knows that trick, do you?” the prince whispered in his ear as he turned off the blade.
He plunged to the ground.
The prince landed and walked over. “You’re still moving? You would be dead right now if someone else did that to us. Just pass out already.” He bent down, “Like this apprentice said, we can’t wake up until you do.”
Injured Vegeta began to mist as he curled up with his back to the ponies. His boots turned white again and any sparkle he had vanished from view. Then a strip of blue light appeared across his back.
The prince stood up suddenly and kicked him as hard as he could, sending him tumbling.
As he rolled, injured Vegeta held his brightly blazing blue hands over his chest the best he could as the strip of light on his back became shorter and shorter until it disappeared as he came to a stop on his stomach.
Injured Vegeta shakily got to his feet through brute force of will power as he coughed and vomited blood staining the bottom of his face and his front completely red.
Knees pressed together and feet wide apart, he slowly stood upright as the bright glow still enveloped the hand on his chest. The glow soon disappeared and he took a loud deep breath like he was coming up from underwater before he coughed more blood. His mist solidified and he stood straight and tall.
The prince clapped. “Congratulations,” he said sarcastically, “Judging by your white gloves and boots you just used up whatever that was to save your life.” Then he chuckled. “Is that why you finally decided to put armor on?”
“Oh, great. Now we can’t even tell them apart!” Cadence shouted.
“We can’t tell them apart…” Celestia pointed, “Luna! They are coming together!”
“Almost,” Luna said. “They are almost where we can intervene. Their minds are almost touching because of this disagreement, despite its brutality.”
“And what are they even trying to kill each other over?” Cadence demanded. “If this level of obsession and possession-fueled savagery is just,” she glared up at Discord, “a simple difficult decision,” she looked back at the fight, “then how is he going to react when he wakes up? If this is only half and half, what will it be at 100%? What if the combination is actually multiplicative?!”
“Really Princess Cadence?” Pinkie said. “Out of everyone, you don’t know what this is about?”
“More specifically, who?” Discord smiled.
Celestia sighed. “Out with it, Discord…”
Discord raised his paw. “Ok, Pinkie on three.” He dropped his digits, “Three. Two. One…”
Pinkie gave a small hop and said “Bulma!” while Discord said “His wife!” at the same time.
“This is not love!” Cadence shouted angrily. “This is the exact opposite of love! This is toxic, twisted and evil!”
“Maybe not by our standards,” Pinkie said, “But this is love to him. When he had nothing else, not even his pride, he made her his center. She is his element.”
Luna’s wings puffed up. “The ring!”
She lit her horn and his ring appeared.
“Now is this thee ring or a copy?” Discord asked.
“Only Vegeta can pull real objects in and out of the dreamscape,” she said, holding the ring in her magic. “This will have to do.”
“So how do we use it?” Celestia asked excitedly.
“Not completely sure…” Luna said looking at the ring, “But Vegeta gave it to us in his last conscious act before he kicked us out of Pinkie’s healing plane. And he unconsciously aligned himself when I tied the ring to his left hoof mimicking his constantly wearing it on his paw. But it’s not a magical object either like when the quill mage intervened by drawing an element of laughter to add to Pinkie’s death smoke.”
Luna looked at Discord, “Thoughts?”
“Pump it full of magic and see what happens?” he shrugged.
Cadence's lack of amusement was all over her face. “Well let’s just go full sheets to the wind and fill it full of chaos magic then.”
“Hmm…” Discord scratched his chin with his free hand, “Cast chaos magic on the ring without an end goal in mind thus allowing Vegeta’s subconscious to do whatever it does with my powers…”
“Sounds like a plan!” Pinkie bounced.
“WHAT?!” Cadence shouted, starting to struggle again. “I was being sarcastic!”
“All the more reason to try it,” Discord said. “Since Cadence thinks it’s a horrible idea.”
“Luna?” Celestia asked, her smile revealing her opinion.
“Here, Discord,” Luna floated it over to him.
Discord took the ring in his magic and began pouring his magic into it.
First a line of light circled the ring, then a large amount of string appeared and slopped off of it onto the ground. Then a glowing red design of curls and dots appeared across the ring. It glowed brighter and brighter the more magic he poured into it.
Discord started to grimace and flinch in pain. “Luna, could use a little help. Blast it with dream magic.”
Luna formed a huge ball of magic and blasted the ring.
The writhing mix of blue and gray magic caused the ring’s design to switch to its actual inscription. Then the magic suddenly cut off from its source and the ring in its ball of magic floated away from them.
The magic then absorbed completely and the ring shown a bright white.
“VEGETA! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!” a screeching female voice came from the ring.
The two Vegeta’s who were about to collide again froze and stiffened midair, as if they had been struck by lightning, all-consuming terror written on both of their faces.
The shining ring produced an image around itself.
Another biped in a white dress with gloves, full of ruffles, lace, flowers and…
“That’s enough gems to fund Equestria for a year,” Celestia said, jaw on the floor by the pure mass of diamonds.
“And that tis not including her hair ornaments and veil…” Luna added.
“VEGETA!” The woman lifted her hem revealing her clear high heels and marched over. “GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! DID YOU FORGET OUR WEDDING IS TODAY?! STOP MESSING AROUND AND GET CHANGED!”
The two dropped from the sky and stood petrified with fear next to each other with thick black smoke billowing off of them.
“Stop looking at me like a fucking idiot and hurry! We can’t blame the delay on Trunks needing a diaper change for long you know! You should have been at the altar almost 20 minutes ago now!” She wound up and threw the bouquet.
A line of black smoke raced forward and grabbed the flowers. A hand appeared and a white light raced through the cloud revealing a Vegeta in white clothes as the specters behind him fully dissipated.
“I’m sorry, Bulma,” this Vegeta said, his voice full of emotion.
“Princess Luna!”
“Not yet, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza,” Luna said. “While shaped he is far from solid. See the blurring as he moves and the echo in his voice? He is a flipbook of a thousand specters at once.” She turned her head and glared at her, “Or would you rather we fail again by intervening too soon?” Luna looked back at the two, “We will wait and see how far he can do so on his own.”
Bulma’s specter marched over and ripped the flowers from his hand.
“Get to the altar, NOW!” she bellowed before stomping off.
A white light suddenly blasted from her forcing everyone to close their eyes. When they opened them, they found themselves in a huge field filled with people and decorations. There was a professional camera crew and two projector screens set to the side of the rows.
“How many beings are here?” Celestia looked around. “six, seven thousand?”
“LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS CAKE!”
They turned around and saw they were next to a multistory building with what looked like a floor to ceiling movable glass wall folded up at either end giving unfettered access to a huge dining hall.
And the three-story cake.
“I bet you can’t even eat all of this, Princess Celestia!” Pinkie shouted.
“This has nothing to do with food,” Cadence said, “even with all these beings to feed. This is pure EGO.”
“Green is not a good color on you, Cadence,” Discord chuckled.
“I’m not jealous!” she insisted. “This is gaudy!”
“The specter is here,” Luna said, turning back to the field.
Vegeta ran up the side and hopped up on the raised platform to some giggling of the guests. Which stopped the moment Vegeta looked at them.
He scanned the audience and an uneasy silence gripped the venue.
“That is one scary face,” Discord said, putting his free paw to his chin. “Even though it’s clear as day how terrified he is from the boiling clouds, the hair on the back of my neck is going up.”
Luna giggled, “He looks like a little puffed up kitten trying to be scary. He’s adorable.”
“Only because we can see his emotions,” Twilight shivered. “If we didn’t, he’d look like a demon.”
“A man who hides his insecurities behind false bravado and cruelty,” Cadence said. “How small…”
Before Celestia could scold her, loud music started.
It became increasingly uncomfortable for Celestia, Luna and Discord as the wedding went on after seeing the memories of how Vegeta came to be here.
“I can’t believe how identical everything is between our worlds,” Twilight muttered. “This doesn’t make sense… even for a coincidence…”
Even Cadence said nothing.
~~***~~
The wedding continued, and the only levity in an otherwise sterile perfection was the very young foal with a pillow; his latest offensive in his battle against boredom currently had him on his back smacking his face with the pillow.
“Ring Bearer, the rings,” the officiant said.
The child chucked the pillow at his head, knocking off his glasses. Then the kid left the stage and sat in the lap of the mare with yellow hair they recognized as the bride’s mother from previous memories.
The officiant picked up his glasses, then grabbed the pillow. He struggled with the knot as it continued to refuse to surrender the rings.
“Who tied this,” he muttered, but it was still picked up on the microphone.
A wave of smiles passed through the guests.
“I did,” Vegeta said.
The man then handed him the pillow and Vegeta undid the knot. The officiant took the rings and tossed the pillow behind him.
Then to everyone’s surprise, the officiant handed Bulma’s ring to her first, even hers.
“Vegeta wanted you to go first,” the man whispered, “Your family’s priest, pastor and myself all agreed and assisted with the coming variations.”
Put on the spot, Bulma took the ring in one hand and Vegeta’s in the other.
Discord chuckled. “Vegeta is now whiter than you, Celestia.”
“Wow!” Pinkie bounced, “Bulma can do the Fluttershy Stare! No wonder everyone is afraid of her!”
“This surprise change must have some sort of cultural significance that Bulma would not have agreed to,” Celestia said, “if the fear and regret on his face is anything to go by.”
“He’s… trembling,” Twilight said.
“I, Bulma Briefs, take you, Vegeta, as my lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day forward; for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health. Forsaking all others. To love, honor and cherish, until death do we part.”
She gripped his hand tightly and forced the ring on his dancing finger.
“By this ring, we are wed,” she finished.
“By this ring, they are wed,” the crowd suddenly spoke in unison.
Vegeta then held out his palm to take the next ring. The officiant gripped his hand “You can do this,” he smiled, “take a deep breath. She’ll be madder if you faint.”
Vegeta nodded and the man put the ring in his hand.
“I…” he mouthed the word prince, “Vegeta, take you, Bulma, as my lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold from this day forward; for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health. Forsaking all others. To love, honor and obey…”
There was an audible gasp from the crowd.
“… until my last moment.” He then took a deep breath, “Where you go, I will go. Where you rest, I will rest. Your people will be my people, your God my…” Vegeta’s voice died in his throat. “Our descendants!” he blurted out after an awkward pause. “Where you die, I will die,” he continued. “Where you are buried, will be my marker. I swear this before Earth’s king, guardian and…” there was a small pause, “heaven above.”
He took her hand and prepared to put the ring on when a specter suddenly broke off and began walking backwards.
“Why would our defender abandon his love?” Luna asked, seeing the familiar torn clothes and golden flames.
“Look at his forehead!” Twilight shouted.
Everyone noticed the twin mountain mark.
“I can’t… I broke everything…” he mumbled as he stepped backwards. Then he leaned back straight as a board. “I don’t deserve…”
Instead of falling on his back, the specter fell through the ground into a rapidly widening black hole.
More specters rapidly pulled away from the main mass, like watching a slinky descending a stair.
The groom Vegeta paused putting the ring on her finger and turned around.
“Oh you son of a—!” he shouted as the last specter behind him fell and he was dragged off of his feet.
The ring flew in the air. Groom Vegeta reached for it but was pulled away.
“No!” he shouted as he disappeared into the ground.
The scene dissolved and spun around violently. It coalesced on the ground above the hole, turning into an ivory medallion with an engraving.
The group ran over as the medallion finished forming, sealing the hole with a loud thud.
Pinkie scratched the side of her head. “Well, now what?”
Chapter 20: All Coming Together
Chapter 20: All Coming Together
Luna was straining with her horn lit up. Then she lowered her head, panting. “It’s not responding to my magic…”
“Don’t look at me so quickly,” Discord said. “I feel my arm ache even in here.”
“Could you at least put me down now?” Cadence asked. “It’s not like he’s here.”
Discord unwrapped himself from around Cadence and began rubbing his sore arm.
“So, any ideas on what this thing is?” Cadence gestured at the medallion.
“It’s a barrier to a deeper part of the mind,” Luna said. “Most likely his sanctuary. His greatest secrets. His most intimate and vulnerable self. Every pony has one, but the lock has never been so incalcitrant before.”
“Do you always have to go so deep?” Twilight asked with her ears pinned back.
“Not in today’s era,” Luna said. “But a millennia ago, many nightmares came from deep seated trauma, not insecurities and mild dissatisfaction. Untreated, all the suffering gets buried deeper and deeper just to give the illusion of functioning day to day. If the negative emotions reach so far down it touches the magic…” Luna hung her head, “it… is especially dangerous in the spell caster races of Equus.”
Celestia went over to place her wing over her sister. Her hoof stepped on the edge of the medallion.
The grooves near her hoof lit up purple and spread out a few feet before dissipating.
Luna gasped and stepped on the medallion. It lit up bright purple and lit up almost a third of the medallion before dissipating.
Pinkie jumped on it with all four hooves. It also lit up a third.
“Princess Twilight,” Celestia said softly, nodding towards the medallion.
Twilight cautiously stepped on the edge.
It lit up as purple fire raced through the grooves as the magic spiraled towards the center. When the magic collided in the center sparks flew with the sound of a large electrical short circuit.
Twilight screamed and jumped back. A black line swept the magic from the medallion while a black flame cleared the purple flames from the grooves.
Discord’s face fell. “Oh… I got a bad feeling about this…” He slowly looked at Cadence and awkwardly pointed at the medallion.
“Would you like to elaborate on that bad feeling before I risk my hoof in an explosion?”
“Well… as much as I joke about us being a pantheon, I think in this instance it’s literal. Purple is literally the magic of friendship. Everyone reacted in varying amounts of purple. And when the goddess of friendship touched it, the whole thing lit up and sparked.”
He pointed at the ground, “He knows his friends are here in some capacity, but he’s in a place he won’t even let his closest friends in.”
“So how do we get in then?” Cadence asked, exasperated.
“The goddess of love.”
“What?! Me?!”
“Look at that design! That’s the side profile of a He-you-man, and I’m guessing it’s his wife.”
Pinkie floated up. “Oh! Oh! Yeah! I see it now!”
“Princess Cadence,” Celestia said gently. “Go ahead. You’re the only one left.”
Cadence rolled her eyes and stepped on the edge.
A blue wall of light rose high into the darkness, encircling the edge as the beams of light raced through the grooves. When the grooves finished lighting, the outer wall collapsed and raced to the center.
Instead of exploding into sparks, it gently began to swirl and climbed upwards with a tinkling sound. It pulled up the medallion’s ivory material and when the magic finally sparkled away, there was a statue in the center.
It was a perfect replica of Bulma in her wedding dress, holding her hand out to receive her ring.
“The ring!” Luna’s wings puffed out. She began searching the ground. “Where did the ring go?!”
Everyone spread out.
“Found it!” Twilight shouted excitedly. She galloped back and went to put it on the statue.
“Princess Twilight! Wait a moment!” Luna shouted.
But it was too late.
As the ring slipped over the first knuckle, the statue lit up an angry red and shot a beam.
Twilight screamed as she was sent flying then skidding across the ground.
Everyone ran over.
“Twilight, your over eagerness to intervene is going to get you hurt one of these days,” Discord said as Celestia helped her up.
“I got the ring!” Pinkie said, holding it up.
Luna sighed, “Alright… Princess Cadenza, take the ring and place it on its finger.”
“And what do you think is going to happen?” she demanded. “Because every time you have been wrong.”
“And thou have been deadly!” Luna shouted. “The mixing of our magic has dissolved the line between the dreamplane and reality. This has allowed both healing and injury, and you cast a lethal spell! Doctors could be dragging our unconscious bodies out of the way right now, for all we know.”
“Cadence,” Celestia dropped the honorific. “Place the ring on the finger and open the door. I agree fully with Discord. Vegeta might not know who we are, but he knows we are friends. But you are clearly different. He thinks you are his wife , Cadence. And as disgusted as your face says you are, it is clear she is the only one he allows into his heart. You need to let us in.”
Cadence's face twisted from disgust to anger. She lifted her nose and huffed as she ripped the ring from Pinkie’s hoof. She clopped over to the statue, the medallion lighting up a brilliant blue as she stepped on it.
“Ok,” Luna said, “put the ring on, then step off.”
Cadence carefully slipped the ring on the finger. This time the statue did not lash out, but instead began glowing blue with sparkles shimmering in the magic.
Cadence stepped off.
The magic swirled around the medallion and statue, then it spread out over the ground. As it touched each pony, a ring of flowing magic formed around them. Soon everyone had a circle and the main mass returned to the medallion.
The circles brightened and began to move faster. Then a light barrier shot up around them.
“What’s happening?”
“It feels like a teleportation spell,” Luna said. “He’s taking us down instead of opening a door.”
Suddenly everyone else’s circle turned purple then fizzled into black while Cadence’s brightened.
Cadence vanished.
“No!” Luna yelled and went over to where she stood. She lit her horn and examined any residual magic.
“Sister?” Celestia came over, “Can you copy it and get us in?”
Luna raised her head. Her face answered her question.
“So it’s all up to Cadence now?” Twilight said nervously. “She can do this, right?”
“She will have to,” Discord said. He looked at Luna, “Or she’ll never wake up?”
“Worse…”
Everyone looked at Luna surprised.
“If she continues to lash out at him as she has up until now… She will die with him.”
~~***~~
Cadence coughed in the thick clouds. They felt like a thick weighted blanket over every inch of her body. She coughed again as she lit her horn, to little effect.
If despair had a taste, she was now intimate with it.
“Twilie?! Princess Celestia?!” she looked around. “Princess Luna?! *cough* *cough* Discord?! Pinkie?!”
She listened for voices, but heard nothing.
No, not nothing…
She strained her ears as she moved them back and forth. There was a quiet sound, a quiet whine in the distance. But the more she focused, the more that it sounded like it was coming from everywhere.
Cadence had another coughing fit. Then her eyes turned to shock and terror. She lit her horn and did the strongest wind spell she could cast to push the clouds away. It worked, forming a bubble.
She was too busy coughing and hacking to notice the walls of the spell were blue instead of the normal green for wind magic.
“Oh, Celestia! I was breathing in pieces of HIM !” she shouted as she continued gulping the clean air and trying to clear her insides of every trace of the clouds.
Once she was satisfied, she cast a cleaning and disinfecting spell over herself.
“Ok. Ok…” she did her breathing exercise.
With a calmer head, she looked around. And finally noticed the blue magic.
She walked over and carefully poked the shimmering dark clouds.
It was thicker, like cotton. But when she poked all the way through, she felt the texture of the original clouds behind it.
The sound came back when she did so, but when she pulled her hoof out, it sealed and the noise was dampened to almost nothing.
“Great… we need to gather him all over again…” she sighed, coming to the realization. “Well, at least I know what the others are doing.”
Cadence lit her horn a brilliant blue and the clouds instantly reacted to her presence. The clouds had stopped being gentle walls of twisting fluffiness to almost staring at her from all directions.
She began gathering the clouds as she saw Luna had done. Suddenly the clouds began to bunch up on their own, as if they knew what she wanted. Cadence took a step and suddenly someone’s shirt appeared under her hoof. She backed up, but heard crunching plants. She turned around and saw palm leaves.
Wherever she walked, either palm leaves or cloaks appeared on the ground. Cadence sighed at the ridiculousness, then walked forward, gathering any lagging clouds as the main mass rolled back in front of her.
~~***~~
“Princess Celestia?! Princess Luna?! Twilie?!” Cadence continued to call out as the rolling clouds revealed more and more of an endless cavern.
She had a sudden thought.
“Oh, Sun, Moon, and Stars! Please don’t let me be in here alone with him?!”
Suddenly flowers appeared along the walking path and rose petals on the clothes and palm leaves.
“Oh… yes… he thinks I’m his wife…” she lowered her head as she thought of nonconsensual scenarios.
Suddenly the surrounding area turned into a sea of flowers with cherry trees in full bloom dropping petals everywhere. One side of the path was lined with patio sets full of sweets and steaming cups of tea while the other was lined with street vender stalls full of strawberries.
Then it started to rain teddy bears holding hearts with messages written on them.
One hit her in the face and got caught on her horn. She took it off and looked at it. She didn’t know what ‘LUVU’ meant, but considering this was a scene out of every filly’s corny Hearts and Hooves’ Day story book, it was probably something worthy of a facehoof.
Then another hit her in the head and fell on the ground. This one started to play music and sing with a filly’s voice.
“You are my sunshine. My only sunshine…”
Cadence picked it up with her magic and chucked both back the way she came. She suddenly heard scared whimpering.
She looked forward and saw a litter of chocolate lab puppies with big red bows on them cuddling scared. Surrounding them were small heart-shaped boxes of chocolate with little teeth marks on them.
“Oh come on! This is too much!” Cadence stomped her hoof.
The puppies ran as fast as their adorable scared paws could take them.
Then a wave of frost erupted from Cadence’s hooves. All the flowers instantly wilted and the trees dropped all their flowers and leaves in one loud crash. The furniture rusted and fell apart and the strawberries molded over as the wooden stalls rotted and collapsed under them.
Cadence shivered as she could suddenly see her breath. She moved forward, hoping that leaving the area would end the cold.
As she walked everything turned to a grayish white dust, but she could not tell if it was snow or ash.
She came across a lumpy mound of white. Suddenly realizing what she was seeing, she ran as fast as she could trying not to slip on the clothes and palm leaves ever being placed at her feet.
~~***~~
With that scene of death and decay far behind her, Cadence eventually returned to her normal pace. The cloud was still self-gathering, but its rapid collapse was pulling it farther and farther away.
“It’s going to get harder to see if this keeps up,” she said under her breath.
Suddenly a ditch opened in front of her and bricks began falling from the sky. They all fell into place and a loud crashing followed the rapidly forming road into the distance.
Once she caught her breath from the fear of being crushed, she noticed the color of the bricks. “Wait… Is this all gold bullion?!”
She ran to the road but any attempt to touch the bricks themselves were thwarted by the palm leaves that kept reappearing as soon as she would move one out of the way. She sighed and looked at the glistening yellow brick road rapidly disappearing into the distance.
Cadence walked on, occasionally slipping on the clothes and leaves covering the smooth metal at her feet.
~~***~~
As Cadence made her way closer to the cloud, that sound from before returned and grew louder. That taste of despair returned to her mouth and her skin crawled as the sound got louder.
It was crying, no — weeping. With the distinct undertone of someone about to snap and go mad.
She finally arrived at the swirling mass of what could only be described as twisting storm clouds in desperate need of a pegasus.
Blue lighting cracked and thundered within.
Suddenly the part of the cloud closest to her stopped. Cadence felt like it was watching her like before.
Then blue lighting appeared in the spot and formed a circle. It pushed back the cloud and formed a depression that soon reached the ground.
Cadence hesitated at the obvious door. The depression was only ten feet at most and only revealed even more sinister looking clouds deeper within.
That the sobbing had turned more into a screaming wail made the peril even more obvious.
Cadence made a few steps to walk around the cloud when a black tendril erupted from within. It wrapped around her and pulled her screaming inside.
The door closed and the road and everything on it turned to grayish-white powder and blew away.
Leaving nothing but the raging cloud.
~~***~~
Cadence found herself in a foggy black mist. She held her breath and lit her horn.
The fog was a light mist unlike the heavier versions before. But what surprised her the most was the Celestia awful screeching that emanated from this place from the outside, was a realistic pony voice crying within.
The clouds reacted to her magic again and the immediate surrounding mist collapsed into a vision.
Vegeta was on his knees, kneeling at the side of a partially formed bed. He had his face buried in the covers as he gripped them tightly in both fists.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I messed up and I can’t take it back…” he was saying, muffled by the blankets.
Looming over him was the image of his wife. She sat on the side of the bed in a transparent slip.
Cold. Unmoving. Even though her face was darkened the sensation of disgust and hatred radiated from her non-existent eyes.
“I’m sorry…. I’m sorry….” He continued to say into the bed.
Cadence felt no emotion looking at the scene.
“Great, I have to convince this bastard that his wife forgives him for something I don’t even know about to get out of here.”
Suddenly, the wife spoke. “Are you not even going to tell me what you are sorry for, you bastard?”
Cadence took a step back. “I have direct control of her?” she thought.
She lit her horn and thought about the wife lifting her right arm.
In response, the image lifted its arm roughly, like a marionette.
Cadence let the arm drop. “Ok… you can do this Cadence. You’re the princess that rules over love after all.”
“Tell me what is wrong. Why are you apologizing?”
“Well? I’m waiting?” the wife said.
“Why is she still acting cold?” Cadence thought.
“You know what I did!” Vegeta screamed into the fabric. “I… I killed everyone… I almost killed you… It’s my fault… everything. No amount of erasing memories can change what I did… I let that bastard in my head. I didn’t fight hard enough… Even though I said no, I did it anyway… Everyone died because of me…”
“So this is about the harm he caused under the geas?”
Cadence lit her horn. “It wasn’t your fault.”
The wife awkwardly put her hand on Vegeta’s head. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“Yes, it was. Yes, it was and you know better…”
Cadence bit her lip as she was already messing up.
She began running the woman’s fingers through his hair, having her lean over and say sweet nothing in his ear trying to reassure him.
Vegeta suddenly lifted his head out of the covers. “What the hell are you doing?!” he shouted at full volume, “You don’t mean a single word you say!”
Cadence became frustrated and angry. “Just snap out of this!”
“Stand up!” Bulma shouted, suddenly standing by herself.
Cadence's eyes widened and she lit her horn brighter to regain control, but the woman did not respond.
Vegeta stood, visibly scared at the sudden change.
The woman wound up and slapped him hard across the face.
Vegeta’s eyes widened and he took a sharp breath.
The clouds around suddenly went still and Cadence felt the eyes all over again.
She tensed, expecting retaliation for her screw up.
Instead, the clouds began to fall like rain and the image expanded. Cadence looked around at the expanded image.
There was a wall behind her, a huge bed pushed against another wall, and a large section of floor and ceiling visible.
The remaining clouds were also acting strange. They seemed calmer, somehow.
“Wait… is he responding… positively to being assaulted by his wife?”
Cadence risked an experiment. She allowed herself to feel those emotions and spoke “I love you.”
His wife slapped him hard across the face again. “I love you, you fucking idiot!”
The clouds reacted the same way again, this time a chair and half a table became visible.
Cadence focused on her emotions, partially disgusted but also partially satisfied seeing the display of domestic violence in front of her.
*SLAP*
“I knew who I was fucking without a condom!”
*SLAP*
“Even if I didn’t know that antibiotics could mess with my birth control, I still did it!”
*SLAP*
“You think this is worse than everything else you’ve ever done?!”
*SLAP*
“You died and almost fucked your resurrection permanently!”
*SLAP*
“You almost left Trunks and I alone!”
*SLAP*
“You’re an even bigger idiot than Goku half the time, you son of a bitch!”
*SLAP*
“But you're my idiot, and I don’t regret a single day!”
*SLAP*
“Don’t make me start now!”
*SLAP*
She raised her hand one more time and swung.
But this time Vegeta grabbed her wrist before she hit him.
“Alright…” he said, his voice cracking, “I get it. You can stop slapping me now.” He then took her hand and kissed it, “I’ve done enough damage without you breaking your hand on my face.”
Cadence became distracted by a bright light to her right and looked away from the couple.
The room was fully formed now with not a cloud in sight.
She walked over to the huge wall of floor to ceiling windows. She was on top of some kind of tower looking out over a night scene full of light and crystal. The light on the ground was so bright the stars were a distant shadow of their actual glory that Luna worked so hard for.
“This is nothing like what Twilie said was on the other side of the mirror…” she muttered.
Behind her, the scene continued without her input.
Bulma put her hands on her hips. “So do you finally understand I still love you, you dumbass?”
Vegeta sniffled, “Yes…”
He went in for a hug, but Bulma turned her back. She walked over to the nightstand and opened the drawer. She pulled out a box of tissues and handed it to him with a coy smile on her face.
The blowing of his nose pulled Cadence’s attention from the window.
She saw Vegeta toss the tissue over his shoulder and into a waste can without looking.
Then he hugged his wife, burying his face into the crook of her neck.
A blinding light came from the hugging couple, enveloping Cadence.
~~***~~
Outside, everyone was sitting together watching Luna pace nervously back and forth.
“Sister, please sit.”
“Yes, there is nothing we can do right now but wait,” Discord said. “It’s only been a few minutes.”
Luna spun around to face him, “You know very well the time dilation between levels of the mind, Discord.”
Suddenly the medallion lit up, grabbing everyone’s attention.
A column of light burst through before expanding, washing over everyone.
~~***~~
Everyone opened their eyes and found themselves unceremoniously dumped in the hallway. As they shook the sleep from their eyes, they heard loud voices coming from down the hall.
Discord dragged himself across the floor to the doorway by his wings, breathing hard from the strain. “Vegeta’s not in here!”
Luna jumped up and ran, Celestia on her heels.
Discord slumped on the ground. His arms cocked and twisted partially under him.
“Don’t your arms hurt twisted like that?” Pinkie asked from her bed.
“I… I can’t feel them…”
~~***~~
Luna and Celestia found Vegeta exactly where Luna had feared— in surgery for a chest wound.
“Doctors, report!” Celestia shouted while Luna was momentarily frozen.
The surgeons momentarily looked up.
“Nurse Needlework, go,” one said as the others returned to work.
A pink unicorn in an apron came out. “Yes, your majesties?”
“What happened?”
“While you were dreamwalking, a hole opened up through his barrel. It began glowing almost immediately, but the healing spell wasn’t strong enough to completely close the wound. It did stop the bleeding, however, thankfully.”
“He is out of danger?”
The nurse nodded, “It was a simple wound to close unlike the other. But he will still need rest for it to completely heal. I do not know if it will add to his bedrest. That will be up to the doctors to decide.”
Luna fell on her haunches, “Oh, thank goodness…”
Celestia put her front leg over Luna’s shoulders. “Yes, thank goodness. Now let’s go tell them the good —"
Suddenly Twilight teleported next to them hyperventilating. “Princess Celestia! Discord can’t feel his arms! They are completely numb and limp!”
“Find more doctors! Hurry!” Celestia shouted as she teleported away.
Celestia appeared and saw Cadence with her horn glowing white over his paw.
“Hey Celestia,” he smiled. “Look! I can twitch my claw now. See everything is perfectly fine. So, how’s Vegeta?”
Celestia’s wings slumped. “Oh, Discord… must you always turn things into a joke?”
~~***~~
Vegeta found himself placed in a new room when he opened his eyes. He took in his surroundings.
His body cast looked like the cleaning spell had been used on it. Then he noticed a new tube with a valve sticking out of his chest area.
He grimaced, pressing his eyes shut as a headache ripped through his skull.
“Fucking hell…” Vegeta placed his head back on the pillow.
“Prince Vegeta?!”
Vegeta lifted his head again and saw Luna sticking her head in the door, smiling ear to ear.
She galloped the few steps to his bedside as the doctors she was talking to stuck their heads in.
“How art thou feeling?” Luna asked eagerly.
Vegeta squinted his eyes. “Luna?”
“Yes, tis us! Princess Luna.”
“My head feels like a spike was driven through it…” Vegeta said.
“Doest thou remember anything?”
“Remember…” he muttered. His eyes widened.
He lifted his head and his whole body shifted slightly. “Pinkie!” he said, panicking, “How is she?”
“She is alive,” Luna said solemnly.
Vegeta noticed the hanging pause in the air.
He swallowed, “… But?”
Luna gave a small smile, “The healing was not perfect and hast left internal scarring that cannot be easily treated.”
Vegeta clinched his eyes and jaw and leaned his head back.
“But she is alive and in high spirits,” Luna said. “And will be even more so now that thou hast finally awakened.”
“Finally?” he asked, confused.
“Thy mind shredded from the strain of the attempt. It’s been hours, sister will be setting the sun in an hour and a half.”
“In numbers, please…”
“Tis little past 6 o’clock. But Prince Vegeta, will thou allow us to scan thy head for a moment?”
“Yeah… Whatever…” Vegeta put his head back down on the pillow.
Luna wrapped his head in magic.
Vegeta saw her press her lips together.
“That look of disappointment isn’t that reassuring when it comes to my brain.”
“We art sorry,” Luna released his head. “It was a great effort to piece thy consciousness back together. But thou art still frayed. If thou were anyone else, we would be startled that thee had awoken in such a state.”
Vegeta’s eyes narrowed. “Define ‘piecing my consciousness back together’.”
“Thou were in a state not unlike the death smoke when we entered thy broken mind. We gathered thee together, but any attempt on our part to force thee whole always backfired. In the end, all we could do is watch as thou struggled. Thou were shattered across hundreds of specters, some of which did not like each other.”
Vegeta sighed and put his head back on the pillow, “So how many more people did I give PTSD to by watching what I assume was a brutal battle royale?”
Luna shook her head. “No one. Thou were already pulling thyself together rapidly. The only reason we intervened was because thou were collecting into two nodes…”
“Split personality?” Vegeta interrupted.
“Yes,” Luna nodded. “The battle between ye two was horrid to watch, but it was necessary.”
“Which one am I?” Vegeta asked worriedly. “I’m not fucking Doctor Who.”
Luna shook her head, “Neither. Thou came together willingly.”
Vegeta lowered his eyebrows. “Now that doesn’t sound like me at all…”
“We know thy memories art scattered at the moment, but thy last act before the healing plane disintegrated with Pinkie was to materialize a copy of thy wedding band into reality. When Discord…”
“You brought the ring into my head and had Bulma stop the fight,” Vegeta interrupted again. “That makes sense. I do remember dreaming about her.”
Vegeta then looked at the new tube. “Can… specters… kill?”
“No, thy wound came from Princess Cadenza.”
Vegeta jerked his head back around at the bitterness and anger in her voice.
“Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is the ruler of the Crystal Empire and was brought in as a witness to dispel rumors of our romantic involvement.”
Vegeta cringed, shivering as he stuck out his tongue.
“She attacked a specter unprovoked, even though we were invisible to them. The wound appeared on every one of them, then of course you in real life.”
Vegeta thought about Piccolo and Kami. He nodded. “I understand the concept… But… I remember Bulma shooting me…”
Luna turned awkward, “Tis a reason for that… Princess Cadenza is an alicorn whose elemental magic is romantic love. Thou subconsciously reacted to her mental presence a few times.”
“Is she too dangerous to talk to?” Vegeta asked. “I want to talk to her. Just to detangle my head.”
“She is currently with Discord helping with his arms. Compassion is the root of all healing spells, so she is a natural talent.”
“Did she fail with Pinkie before the doctors turned to Celestia?”
Vegeta could tell from her face the thought never crossed their minds.
“Being thousands of years older means we have a larger magic pool. Also, being thousands of years older means we fought in the last great wars to sweep this continent. The injuries would be just as foreign to her as the doctors.”
“I see…” Vegeta laid his head back on the pillow. “Nice justification after the fact.”
Luna sighed, then smiled. “At least thy returned perception means thy mind is functioning well despite the unconstituted frays.”
“Luna…” Vegeta took as deep a breath as he could. “WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE THINK WE'RE ACTUALLY FUCKING?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!”
Luna hung her head, her nose almost touching the ground. “We once succumbed to dark magic. Unable to be purified, our sister sealed us hoping for a cure. It took a thousand years. We have only been ourselves for less than three.”
Vegeta blinked. “Well fuck…”
Luna gave a sorrowful chuckle, “Exactly.”
“But what about the person who cast it on you?”
“No one cast it on us. As princess of the night, our magic is naturally opaque. It is a simple dance of emotions that separates us from the darkness.”
“So, you can’t allow yourself to feel any negative emotion?”
“Tis what the public thinks, but the wounds needed art far deeper. Down to the very core where our magic dwells.”
“So, you went through a hell full of shit and finally snapped?” he said sympathetically. “How many got killed?”
“No one,” Luna said, “Sister drew Nightmare Moon out over the forest and away from the damaged castle and the surrounding town.”
“The town was undamaged?”
“Yes,” she said, “But sister abandoned the castle and built a new capital here. Only thing left there now is broken stone swallowed by the forest.”
“How long were you this ‘nightmare’? —Before the seal,” he quickly added.
“Five minutes?” Luna said, uncertain, “Less than ten…” She tilted her head towards the door before hanging it again, “Prince Vegeta, we art being observed.” Then Luna gasped and put her hoof to her mouth, “We forgot this era’s wording in our haste…”
Vegeta chuckled before turning serious again. “But Luna, there is a phrase on Earth. ‘No one lasts long in the emergency fields because there is no one to save the rescuers when they need rescued.’ From my understanding you were on the frontline in wars back then while awake, then playing Freud to an entire nation at night. Not even the GODS could handle that type of stress. Hell, I’ve seen the fucking Supreme Kai have a him-damned panic attack and curl into a ball.”
Luna chuckled, then raised her head. She wiped the tears from her eyes. “This is another reason no one trusts us. While the public view this through the lens of superstition, disloyal staff hast reported to the nobles how you speak to my heart.”
Vegeta narrowed his eyes, “You don’t actually have a crush on me, do you?”
Luna blushed. “Oh no! I mean, you are handsome for a stallion, but we know your true state. Besides! You’re married with children! Even if this was your true state, you’re completely unavailable.”
Vegeta rolled his eyes, “Great, I’m fucking pony Fabio.”
“We assume he is a famous handsome stallion of your race?”
“My wife’s, but yeah… … and no,” Vegeta added after a pause, “I’m not particularly considered handsome in my facial features…”
Luna giggled, putting her hoof to her mouth. “Well,” Luna put her hoof down, “We think it is time to check on Discord and report your awakening.”
She began to walk to the door.
“Before you leave,” Vegeta called out. “Have you figured out who shot Pinkie and why?”
“We art sorry, but for judicial reasons we art being separated to serve for appeal as sister is involved.”
“Then tell Celestia I want to know what is happening.”
Luna nodded, “We shalt tell her shortly.”
She left the room.
“Princess Cadence was the one who almost killed the prince? By Celestia…” Vegeta heard the doctors mumbling.
“I can hear you, bastards,” Vegeta called out. “You better not be disloyal with your gossip!”
Vegeta heard the sound of people tripping over each other at the door and loud clops going down the hall.
Vegeta tucked his head deeper into the pillow and closed his eyes.
“Wait…” his eyelids flew open. “There’s only four of them. Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Cadenc-za…”
He thought about the sweet and kind pink alicorn that he had thought was the voice of reason when everyone was still panicking over him.
Vegeta looked out the window and saw what looked like a stack of paper crash down.
Vegeta chuckled, “Someone must have just quit their job…”
The chuckling quickly drifted into a groaning sigh.
“Fuck…”
Chapter 22: Severe Complications
Chapter 22 Severe Complications
“I wonder why Celestia hasn’t lowered the sun yet,” a pale red unicorn with gray peppering his hair said as he looked out over Las Pegasus from his high-rise office. “It’s too early in the year for a summer time table.”
“Mr. Kingpin!” his secretary ran in. “There’s an emissary from the palace! They said they are here for an urgent matter and need to see you immediately.”
“I see,” he said, not turning from the window. “Any news of the package I sent to my ex-wife?”
“No sir.”
“I see,” he said sitting at his large desk. “Feel free to interrupt the conversation when the messenger arrives.”
“Yes, sir,” she dashed from the room.
Soon she returned with the pink unicorn with the royal seal around her neck carrying a scroll.
Kingpin immediately raised his head.
“Everyone, out of the room,” he ordered. He made eye contact with his guards on both sides of the room and they filed out.
The heavy ornate doors shut with a loud, deep bang.
“Alright,” Kingpin said, putting his hooves together, “Which princess are you?”
“What do you mean?” the pink unicorn asked surprised.
“You carry yourself like someone who has not had to bow for a long time. There is something special about poverty that marks a pony. Whether it’s physically or mentally, the burden always leaves visible scars from carrying the ponies above them on their shoulders.”
Celestia released the spell and shuffled her wings.
“Ah, the one who has never had to bow.” He lowered his head, “Welcome Princess Celestia.” He raised his head, lit his horn, and pulled a newspaper from the waste can. “I assume this is the reason you are here.”
“Your son is innocent, and—”
“I am aware. But that is not how the world works, is it? Also, he is not my son. When I heard he survived the last attempt on his life, I used infidelity to divorce my wife and removed him from my registry.”
“Your attempt, as Bocce confessed.”
“If that is all you have to discuss, then I suggest you go home and set the sun. No one in this city will go against the Golden Circle, you have no power here.”
“I am keenly aware,” she said. “What I am here for is that I need a straw purchaser. If you agree, you will be a baronet by the time I set the sun. And the father of a baron once this is cleared up.”
He smirked, “An ennobling? You must be truly desperate. You’re looking for money to buy out Trident’s company, and no noble in their right mind would involve a commoner in the transaction.”
Celestia poofed some documents and placed them on the desk. “I already have nobles lined up to buy it, but we are short. You will already be in a significant position on the ruling board just by putting in the minimum amount. The more you put down the closer to the presidency you become.”
“And you’re only coming to me because that idiot is the rightful father. This is about stopping a wedding, not buying a company.”
“You know about that? The Golden Circle’s reach is quite far.”
Kingpin shook his head, “This has nothing to do with the Circle, your majesty. It has everything to do with my father being stillborn. And a century ago, Ponyville being the type of place stillborns were buried.”
He raised his hoof to stop the response, “And no, they are not cousins.” He lowered his hoof, “But you are eight months too late to bribe me with anything within your power, or punish me within your power. You are no god, Princess Celestia. Everyone knows you bleed now after your very public ass whooping by Queen Chrysalis. I suggest you remember that, for Equestria’s sake.”
Celestia bore into him, “Anything you wish to tell me?” She lit her horn.
King pin chuckled. “Mind magic, how tyrannical. I’d expect that from a noble, not the princesses.” He stopped laughing, “But honestly, you know more than I do. As a businessman, a gut feeling is just as valuable as logic and facts.” He put his hoof on the paper, “And this is one big gut feeling.”
“I see.”
The door suddenly opened. “Excuse me,” the secretary said. She stopped half way through. “Princess Celestia?!”
Everyone in the hallway ran to the door to look.
Celestia sighed, putting her hoof to her head. “So much for keeping this secret…” She took a more dignified stance. “What is it? We are busy.”
“M… Mr. Kingpin! Yo-you told me to interrupt you when word came about the gift to your ex-wife. The messenger said she says thank you for the consideration.”
He smiled. “That is good to hear. Can you see the princess out? We are actually done with the discussion. But tell me Princess Celestia, when will you be setting the sun? I make a habit of watching the sunsets and you are already behind the time.”
“I will set it when I am done. There are other ponies that I can seek assistance from. You were simply the most beneficial to both parties.”
Kingpin closed his eyes and smiled melancholily. “And here I thought I’d get to see a sunset before I went to bed. Oh well.” He opened his eyes and looked hopeful, “I’m sorry I could not be of assistance. I wish you luck with your endeavors.”
Celestia sighed, then reapplied the cloaking spell. She walked up to the shocked secretary and guards. “Will you see me out then?”
~~***~~
Celestia was barely a block away from the building when a huge explosion blew out windows on the highest floor.
She quickly realized which room it was and leapt in the air forgetting she was disguised as a unicorn.
She entered the room through the broken window.
The desk was in pieces across the room.
Along with Kingpin.
She noticed the secretary in shock, tears running down her face, but otherwise motionless. It did not even look like she was breathing.
“Oh! My little pony!” She ran over and hugged the mare. “It’s ok, just cry.”
“Princess, right?”
Celestia turned and saw the guards looking nervously at her.
“Yes. It is I. What do you know about this?”
“The building was just called by the police. They said there was an explosion at his ex-wife’s house.” He looked at the dismembered corpse. “They are on their way to talk to him. I was about to open the door when…” his voice trailed off.
“I see,” she said. “Then she is dead as well?”
The guard hesitated. “…Yes.”
“Wait…” her eyes widened. Celestia undid the cloaking spell. “I will return shortly.”
She teleported away.
~~***~~
A dinner party was being held in Manehatten.
“You surprise me, Lyonnaise. I would have thought you would begin canceling your engagements under the circumstances.”
“I don’t believe a word in the papers,” Abby Rockhoofeller said. “We’ve all known Bocce for years. And he is a deep friend of Rarity, and Ponyville is the home of the other Bearers. He grew up with them.”
“He got on the wrong side of some noble,” Hope De Beers said. “A powerful one by the looks of it.”
“Yes, how unfortunate,” her husband, Diamond De Beers said. “I wonder who this has come about?”
“He’s the father of Sea Swirl’s baby,” Ferris Coney sighed. “They’ve been trying to elope for months. But her parents keep getting in the way. They must be retaliating. We spent hours at the train station, but they never showed up. And then these newspapers began falling from the sky.”
There were a few gasps.
“What?” Bergamot Orange said. “Don’t tell me none of you knew. They’ve been a couple for years.”
“I thought that mare was just a lookalike,” Consuelo Vanderbit said shocked. “How would they have even met?”
“Sea Swirl lived in Ponyville for five years. Did you not notice the empty condo?”
“I thought she had moved back to Canterlot. I mean, why Ponyville?”
“Well, considering everything that’s happened, probably running away from her parents. I mean, taking advantage of a Bearer’s injury is incongruous.”
A servant popped a cork on a bottle of wine and began pouring glasses.
“Are we sure it’s the Aquariuses?” Forge Carneighie asked. “They don’t seem to be in a position to do something this drastic. Have you seen the business news from the normal edition? They are being removed from the stock market next Friday and going into bankruptcy.”
“Does anyone smell that?” Clementine Orange suddenly said.
“Smell what?” Lyonnaise asked.
The wine was poured for the couple.
Clementine Orange held up her glass, “There’s a smell coming from the wine.”
Everyone sniffed their glasses.
“I find the aroma quite pleasant,” Diamond De Beers said. Then he drank the entire glass. “Flavor is stimulating for the palette.”
His wife also drank fully while several others took sips.
Clementine Orange slapped the glass out of her husband’s hoof, spilling it all over the table.
Everyone gasped.
“What is wrong with you?”
“My mother always said if something smells like almonds that isn’t an almond, it will make ponies sick.”
Diamond De Beers chuckled, “I believe you're letting your native accent slip there, Madam Orange.”
Suddenly a maid ran into the room.
“Master! The Princess—”
Celestia galloped into the room and saw the banquet.
“Don’t touch anything!” she shouted, spreading her wings. “There are assassins loose!”
~~***~~
Lyonnaise was weeping into her husband’s arms hearing of the death of her brother.
The police took the last of the staff members from the freeze spell Celestia had cast on the house and the wine cellar into custody for testing.
A detective pushed through the crowd inside the mansion. “Princess Celestia,” he bowed. “News from the hospital. De Beers and his wife have died. But the others are responding well to treatment.”
“So, it was arsenic?” Celestia asked.
“It is behaving like severe arsenic poisoning even though all tests have come up negative. Amounts so low they can’t be detected shouldn’t be doing anything like this. I do understand some ponies can smell it. But you ordered to treat it no matter what the tests say. Like you already knew they would be negative. Reports said you barged in screaming there were assassins loose.”
Celestia sighed. Then she set fire to the notepad in his magic. She cast a sound blocking shield. “Unknown agents have found a way to create substances that evade magic detection. This has grown into an international incident, so this is all I will say and forbid you to repeat it. Unless you want to start the largest war in one thousand years.”
The detective swallowed, “I still need something to tell my superiors.”
“Tell them I am squashing this until the case in the capital is resolved. This is big and any tip off will destroy all hopes for the future. Of course, any leaks will lead to prosecution for espionage. On the condition the ponies involved even survive the coming war.”
“Yes, your majesty.”
“I will be leaving to return to the previous cases.” Celestia dropped the shield, said her comforting goodbye to the Coneys and teleported away.
~~***~~
Celestia arrived back at the tower in Las Pegasus, teleporting back into the room.
The police were startled.
“Princess?!” a few shouted.
“Hello, my little ponies,” she said.
Her surprisingly ominous tone made everyone nervous.
One officer found courage. “Princess, this is a sealed crime scene.”
“I am aware. I had to rush away shortly after the explosion. But I have returned.”
“Then you did come here disguised to speak to Mr. Kingpin?”
“Yes. I did.”
“We are going to need your statement.”
“I understand. But I will also need a full briefing about this incident.”
“We won’t be—”
Celestia lowered her neck to his height, “Kingpin was the father of Bocce Boules, despite all attempts to distance himself. The assassination of a royal lady in waiting takes full precedence over a little death like this.”
The officer swallowed. “I will need to talk with my superiors.”
“I will talk with them directly then.”
~~***~~
Celestia disguised herself again and was led through the crowd of paparazzi crowding the police tape. She sat in the front seat of the police wagon and was driven off.
She arrived at the police station and she sat in the waiting room while her escort talked to the officers at the counter. They looked frightened as they continued to look between her and the cop. One of the cops at the counter ran off.
Her escort came over, “Everything will be ready soon.”
About ten minutes later, the cop returned.
“The chief will see you now.”
~~***~~
Celestia walked into the office, only for a teleportation rune to go off.
She found herself in a large meeting room with no windows.
As she looked around, she recognized some of the ponies in the room, even though many were in robes and masked.
Celestia undid her disguise. “Greetings Golden Circle,” Celestia said smiling, “If you wanted to speak, we do have more appropriate means of communication other than kidnapping.”
“Under such circumstances, this was the quickest option,” the stallion at the head of the horseshoe table said. “So please overlook this breach of decorum.”
“I will forgive this one time,” Celestia said, “Prince Blueblood.”
Blueblood dropped his hood. As did the two stallions next to him.
His father could never keep his pants on.
Two other stallions and their wives dropped their hoods. They were his two sisters and husbands. Originally from rival mob families, his father knew how to leverage his indiscretions in building a rival powerbase to the castle.
Looking at the weight of power before her, she was just glad spoiling the young Blueblood worked.
Another generation, this would have been trouble.
“Princess Celestia,” the oldest of the siblings, Broken Compass, began. “I believe in this trying time, full honesty is required.” He floated up the newspaper. “As it appears we face the same enemy.”
“Duke Poppycock has been troubling the Golden Circle?” Celestia asked.
“He began harassing Kingpin eight months ago,” he said. “We offered aid repeatedly, but he said it wasn’t an issue for the Circle. Then he suddenly used our authority to try and kill his son, divorced and disowned his family, and now, from everything we have, he killed himself and his wife after seeing the paper.” He stamped his hoof hard on the table, echoing through the room. “What has been going on with Bocce?!”
“He killed himself?” Celestia said, surprised. Then she looked down, “I see. That is why he kept asking me when I would set the sun. He wanted to see it one last time.”
“Please, start from the beginning, with Bocce.”
Celestia looked up. “Bocce is the father of Lady Sea Swirl’s baby.”
There was a clamor of shock from the room.
“Silence!” The stallion again smacked the table.
Everyone went silent.
“Sea Swirl has been harassed by Lord Blarney Folderol since they were children. His uncle, Duke Poppycock has leveraged his influence to frame Bocce for his own murder attempt against his rescuer.”
“So, Pinkie Pie jumped in between and nearly died in his stead?”
“Yes, Broken Compass.”
“What weapon was used that required dark magic to heal?” one of the sisters, Pink Sapphire, asked. “The prospect is troubling.”
“I authorized spying on the Griffon embassy over the confiscating of slaves to gauge the chance of conflict erupting. Our intel could not understand or rationally explain what they saw inside, but one phrase they repeated was one we heard Prince Vegeta use in his interrogations. So, we dream walked with him to get his opinions. He recognized everything immediately and began explaining things in a rational manner. Then he visibly panicked and demanded better images of an item he saw in the background. But we had none as it was deemed unimportant.
“This odd piece of metal turned out to be a weapon in his language called a gun. Vegeta recognized Pinkie’s wounds as being caused by it. The inside of Pinkie’s wound was coated in something that repelled magic, preventing any healing spells to close it. It was discovered by accident yesterday that the mixture of his and Princess’s Luna’s magic in the dream plane can affect real life. Both in injury and healing.
“After everything else had failed, it was our last hope in saving her life. It worked, but did great psychological damage to Prince Vegeta. He was in a coma for hours until Luna found a way to heal his mind and wake him up.”
“You trust the dark mage?” the other sister, Ruby Rose, said surprised.
“Prince Vegeta was turned into a dark alicorn after his daughter abused a magical artifact, he called a dragon ball. His true race has so little magic to the point that he claims they have none. Both he and his daughter have shown little ability to control the magic in their pony forms. Vegeta knows what he is, and he broke his own horn off to save myself and others nearby when his magic went wild.”
“Wasn’t he restrained by magic sealing locks?” Broken Compass asked.
“He was. It was not enough. His horn was put back on and the bone is fresh, but he has no sensation. That will prevent any spells going off for now.”
“That is not what I’ve been hearing from staff,” Blueblood said.
“Do you really think Luna would sleep with a married man, Blueblood?”
“No. No I don’t. I did not say I was believing the staff rumors either.”
“What about the fire magic mentioned in the article?” the second oldest, Cracked Sextant, demanded.
“In lieu of magic, he has cultivated a power he calls ki. It’s the manipulation of his very own life force. It manifests as a burning light when used as a weapon.”
“And this ki is what was mistaken for dark magic that Pinkie Pie utilizes?”
“Yes. Pinkie has always had unusual abilities. Her family singled her out even as a young foal when interviewed. She bonded quickly with Vegeta over shared powers and has managed to copy the abilities he described in short order. Pinkie is clearly a savant with this power.”
“Can Pinkie make ki fire?” he continued.
“Not at the moment. But it is only a matter of time once she recovers.”
“What are these shared powers?”
“Seeing the future. Sensing the presence and identities of those in a certain diameter. And now flight.”
“Flight? You mean like a pegasus?” Ruby Rose asked.
“Yes,” Celestia nodded. “After explaining how to do it, she did it the first try.”
“So,” Broken Compass said, “You’ve traced Duke Poppycock to the griffons by the use of this ‘gun’, but you can’t defend him without revealing you’ve been spying on the griffon embassy. And because of you confiscating slaves, there is a real chance of a military skirmish?”
“If the weapon used on Pinkie is commonplace,” Blueblood interrupted, “I’d say a skirmish is the least of our worries.” He looked at Celestia, “Aunt Celestia, what are you planning to do?”
“The key to the use of these guns is a substance called black power. Prince Vegeta gave other uses for it and the history of its invention. We are currently tracking down any parallels that could give us a way to not admit to the spying publicly. We are also doing the same with ki. He said that in his wife’s race manipulating ki is a religious activity and there are religions here that have a striking resemblance.”
The ponies at the head table looked at each other.
Blueblood suddenly casted a sound blocking shield and they began discussing something. The two mob heads were very animated.
“They know something. Come on Blueblood.”
The shield finally dropped after what looked like shouting had resolved.
“Princess Celestia…” one of the mob bosses began. “We know of this ‘black powder’. It is used in fireworks and mining in the Far East. We began importing it to cut down on the need for unicorns in our own mining and construction endeavors. But it has proven far too flashy for… more delicate uses. You saw the reason first hand today.”
“So, Kingpin used black powder to kill himself?”
“We traced two missing small barrels of it to his network today, but he used it before we could confront him.”
“Thank you, for the confession. Could you at least give the countries and regions you get it from? It will help immensely in the search.”
“I will do one better,” Came a voice with an eastern accent.
From behind a folding screen, a peacock walked out. “I am Queen Chin Shih. Ruler of the Qin Seas.”
“I see. The pirate queen herself. You’ve been harassing Neighpon shipping as of late.”
“They stopped paying their taxes. So, they are currently paying by forced barter. As a fellow ruler, I’m sure you understand the importance of paying your taxes.”
Celestia smiled, “Discussions on taxation can occur at a later date. So, you are the source of the black powder?”
“Yes. In fact it’s so common, I was greatly surprised to find out it did not exist on this continent. With such a business opportunity, I came myself. I’m glad I did. This is far more interesting.”
“Do you know what a gun is?”
“No, but there have been attempts to make weapons from it in the past. But they have proven just as dangerous to the user as the people they are aiming at. Other than cannons, it was given up upon. But black powder injuries can be healed with magic. If the Holy Gryphon Empire is using black power, then they may have cracked the secret.”
“What secret?” Celestia demanded.
“The reason it was abandoned was because of how the magic in the ingredients can vary greatly and that affects the explosion. That’s why so much metal needs to be wasted in cannons and firework mortars. If the griffons have solved that problem, then that method may explain your difficulty in healing the wound if it was indeed the powder that caused it.
“Queen Ching Shih, do you know anything about a way to process poisons to evade magic detection?”
“If I did, I would not be having issues with taxation.”
“Aunt Celestia, what is this about?”
“When I heard of his wife’s death, I teleported to Manehatten fearing another assassination. And I was right. Poisoned wine at a banquet. It attacked the body like one type of poison and was identified by smell. But it did not respond to magical intervention, only chemical treatments.”
“Are the Coney’s dead?” Blueblood asked.
“No, thankfully. But many of the Millionaire Row are sick or dead.”
“Princess Celestia, we had nothing to do with it!” the other mob boss shouted. “Why would we resort to such an open display?! We are having a hard enough time as it is with Kingpin’s death.”
“Which is a good way back to the topic,” Broken Compass said, “What was your conversation with Kingpin?”
“I asked him for money to buy out Sea Swirl’s parents’ company before Duke Poppycock and Black Horse do tomorrow. He refused, and even knew about Sea Swirl’s imprisonment and her forced marriage to Blarney taking place tomorrow as well. When I demanded how he knew. His cryptic answer was that his father was stillborn and that a century ago Ponyville was a place stillborn were buried.”
The siblings all looked at each other.
“Care to explain?” Queen Ching Shih asked.
“When a noble has an unwanted child,” Blueblood said awkwardly. “The child will be declared stillborn, then dumped at an orphanage somewhere.”
“Or sold as slaves,” Broken Compass said.
“Or concubines,” said a Pink Sapphire.
“Kingpin was a Gleaning or a Folderol,” Cracked Sextant said. “Only explanation. Families don’t disclose such information about each other.”
“That… was my conclusion as well, when he said it,” Celestia said.
“We need to find the last time Duke Poppycock spoke to Kingpin,” he said. “Was he pressured or did he just decide on his own to avoid any further retaliation.”
“We need to look into the poisoning as well,” one of the mob bosses said. “A poison like that can be used against us.”
“Aunt Celestia, I must ask you to keep me informed of developments so I may communicate them to my brothers and sisters,” Blueblood asked.
Celestia nodded, “And I hope the reverse will be arranged as well.”
“We will see,” Broken Compass said. “Everyone has their orders. This slight against the Golden Circle will not stand. One of our members is dead at the hands of a noble. And they will pay.”
“Masters of the Golden Circle,” Celestia suddenly said.
“I also seek vengeance on behalf of Lady Pinkie Pie. Perhaps a pincer move from above AND below will be beneficial to the both of us.”
“We will consider it,” he said. “BUT. This will take time. And your movements to stop this wedding will destabilize the situation greatly. We will need to sit and wait for the aftermath to move...
“If you want vengeance. You may need to sacrifice Sea Swirl and let this wedding go ahead. After all, she can always become a widow.”
“You are aware of his rumors as a sexual fiend and killer?” Celestia said. “Even a small amount of time will be dangerous for her and the baby.”
“Yes, we are aware,” one of the mob bosses said frustrated. “We have traced him to the disappearance of several mares, but have not had a way to move against him due to his status.”
“What are the dark mage’s opinions on the matter,” Ruby Rose asked. “He is clearly involved.”
Celestia sighed. “He comes from a griffon-like culture, so direct, forceful intervention if not pure violence is the first thought that comes to his mind. I do not approve of his current idea, but there are some in agreement. I am considering it as a last resort.”
“Another use of a combined spell with Aunt Luna?” Blueblood asked.
“Correct.”
“Considering the hysteria, I can see the hesitation,” Broken Compass said. “But Princess Celestia, on a purely business, what is the money needed to take over that company?”
Celestia poofed the papers and placed them onto the table.
“Hmm… This is more than we can safely funnel through Prince Blueblood. And there’s not enough time to form an investment company like Dark Horse.”
“What about a royal lien?” Prince Blueblood asked. “That would buy us a month.”
“Still, it’s not enough time to shield the Golden Circle from detection.” Broken Compass said. “And while a royal lien would frustrate Duke Poppycock, knowing Blarney, he will force the wedding through violence. Killing the baby would be the most expedient option. It is already listed as stillborn and you cannot legally kill what is already dead. Being premature is also a good cover for those who would argue the opposite.”
Celestia froze at such a cold unfeeling logic from one of her ponies. Although cast out, he was a noble through and through.
Broken Compass floated the paperwork back to Celestia. “As much as foreign powers getting a hold of Equestrian technology will hamper future relations, it is clear to me that you cannot do one without sacrificing the other. Please keep Prince Blueblood informed about your ultimate decision.”
Light surrounded Celestia and she found herself back in the Police chief’s office.
“I will ignore the existence of the rune circle,” she told the chief, “But I would prefer a warning next time.”
She teleported away.
~~***~~
“Well, too bad you ended everything so quickly,” Queen Ching Shih said. “I had one more piece of information.”
“I can relay that information,” Prince Blueblood asked.
She nodded. She looked behind the screen. “Ping, come out.”
A large bipedal came out clad head to toe in eastern armor and a cloth mask.
“Ping, show them,” she ordered.
The guard lifted his paw and a golden orb appeared. Then the being rose in the air without magic or wings.
“I have information on your ki,” she said. “But it will cost you.”
~~***~~
Meanwhile, Cadence and Twilight are currently in audience with the ambassador of Weigh kingdom.
“If the Sun Princess is delaying her duty, then this must be an important matter,” a tan horse greeted them. “I welcome the lesser princesses with a thousand blessings.”
“Thank you, Ambassador Ferghana,” Cadence said. “And a thousand blessings to you and your kingdom.”
“So, what brings on this auspicious visit?”
“We seek information, and assistance if you possess it.”
~~***~~
“Black powder and ki…” he said. “Black powder originally comes from Wu in the south. It is used as a substitute for magic in cannons, but otherwise is not suitable as a weapon.”
“Can you explain why?”
“The harmony of the ingredients are not in sync. It makes it unpredictable. There is no point in a weapon that also kills its wielder. Are you positive there are weapons using it?”
“Yes, but we know nothing but its name.”
“The wound Lady Pinkie Pie suffered, judging by the timing.”
“You have deduced correctly,” Cadence said.
“And the dark mage and the lady, this shared evil power they share is actually ki?”
“That is also correct,” Cadence said.
“I am surprised,” Fenghana said. “A mana heart usually prevents the use of ki. It is why no ponies can use it and claim it is a superstition as they cannot touch it. But two ponies, one even being an alicorn, can use it?”
“Prince Vegeta was not originally an alicorn but a completely different race. He and his daughter were turned into ones after she abused a magical artifact. According to him, his kind are masters of ki.”
“And Lady Pinkie Pie?”
“We don’t know. She has been singled out since she was a child, but everyone thought it was just a mutation in her magic. Until Prince Vegeta came and the answer became obvious.”
“I see, and you are seeking this knowledge to exonerate the lady?”
“Yes. Although lessening the panic over Prince Vegeta is a side effect of our efforts.”
Fenghana smiled, putting his hoof to his chin, “This is an interesting prospect. Allow me to contact the needed beings.” He lowered his hoof. “This shouldn’t take long. Please enjoy the couches.” He made a snicking whistle. “Geldings! Bring tea and snacks for our esteemed guests.
Fenghana disappeared through a door as the servants quickly prepared tea and sweets for the princesses.
“Twilight, over here,” Cadence guided her to the piles of pillows.
“I… I can’t believe we struck gold on our first try,” Twilight said. “Why do we have no clue about this?”
“From what he said, ponies have never given this a second thought.”
“But, but, somepony must have witnessed it at some point? What about Neighpon? They are a pony kingdom.”
“They also isolated themselves due to harassment and trying to supplant their traditions.”
“Well yeah, they magic lock foals so they never develop cutie marks. That’s child abuse.”
“And why do they do that?” Cadence asked.
“Over some stupid superstition over performing magic… without… magic… that’s more powerful than magic…” Twilight put her hooves on either side of her head. “Oh, my Celestia!”
“Twilight calm down,” Cadence scolded. “It’s not royal like.”
~~***~~
Twenty minutes passed and the door opened.
They were surprised by who walked through.
“Ambassador Kongque, Ambassador Kouma, Ambassador Gyeongjuma,” Twilight said surprised. “What are you doing here?”
“We are here to discuss that ‘stupid superstition’,” Kouma said.
“I’m Sorry! I’m So Sorry,” Twilight threw herself on the floor.
“Twilight!” Cadence shouted at her.
“Do not scold her,” Kouma said. “Admitting ignorance is the first step on the road to enlightenment.”
“We are here because the unveiling of ki to the western kingdoms will be a momentous occasion,” Kongque said. “It will involve all nations that follow the Buddha.”
“And the Kamis as well,” Kouma said.
“Come with us,” Gyeongjuma said. “The monk that serves our embassies’ joint shine is very eager to hear from you.”
~~***~~
The two were led through the back of the building to a small garden with a building in the middle.
“Lord Pixiu, we have come with the princesses as you asked,” Fenghana said as the four ambassadors bowed.
Before them was a massive biped. Even larger than a minotaur. Its back was to them and was covered head to toe with tan and yellow robes. It turned around and lowered the cloth on his head.
“A panda! How did a panda get into Equestria?!”
The panda laughed, “Greeting from the hermit kingdom. I am Pixiu, currently serving as the monk to the eastern kingdoms’ embassies.”
Pixui then stepped to the right, bringing the altar into view.
Twilight pointed “How do you have a statue of a human?! And is that the mirror?!” Twilight could not say more as Cadence closed her mouth with magic.
Pixiu laughed again. “Yes! Yes they are. But I must say I am disappointed that Starswirl’s students have not informed us of the reopening of the sacred mirror. I will assume in good faith that his sudden death prevented him from passing on the agreement. But now that the gate to the sacred lands has reopened, let’s talk about this Prince Vegeta and his journey from the Middle Kingdom.”
~~***~~
“Oh, Uncle!” Blarney proudly walked into the room.
He was instantly grabbed by magic and thrown into the wall. It tightened around his neck.
“You IDIOT!” Duke Poppycock shouted. “Do you know how many favors I had to call in to save your neck?!”
“What are you talking about?” he croaked out.
“You used one of our connections to kill Bocce, and he missed!”
“What?! A Scharfschutze never misses!”
“He shot Pinkie Pie!” He shoved the newspaper into his face. “You're lucky there was a traitor in the palace who turned this all on the dark mage!” He dropped it and shoved another paper in his face, “This is the latest story I have the newsies tossing around.”
He read the headline. “Assassin Identified as Bocce Boules. Arrested for High Treason.”
“DO you know how leveraged I am now?! I've got the entire city's guards and the judiciary fabricating the entire incident!”
"Then what’s the problem? We’ll get him in his cell.”
“Haven’t you noticed the SUN hasn’t gone down yet? It’s two hours late! She’s been running around trying to prove him innocent, and she’s well on the way!”
He gritted his teeth, “Tell me, did you also use our connections to kill Kingpin Boules and the Coneys?”
“Kingpin is dead?! Isn’t he part of the Golden Circle crime syndicate?! I’m not dumb!”
“And the Coneys?” he hissed. “Word from our sources in Manehatten is that the wine used tested negative and no magic spell worked on the victims. But the wine smelled strongly like Almonds and herbal treatment worked. Only one kingdom has the ability to strip magic from items, SO WHERE DID YOU GET THE ARSENIC BOY?! FROM THE GRIFFONS AGAIN?!”
Duke Poppycock tossed him across the room into a bookcase.
“It’s not like the princesses are onto us,” he said, groaning in pain.
“Oh they are,” he said stomping over, “While Celestia has been teleporting from Las Pegasus to Manehatten and back, Cadence and Twilight were at the City Records. They found the live birth certificate! And apparently, they also have noticed the false paperwork from the counting house, because they called all notaries listed to the palace and they haven’t come out yet!
“And worse,” he hissed, “Cadence and Twilight’s next stop was the Weigh Embassy and they haven’t come out yet either.”
“What do they have anything to do with this?” Blarney shakily got to his hooves.
“Because that’s where SchieBpulver originally comes from! The griffons didn’t invent it! They just weaponized it!”
“Even if the princesses are trying to find other sources for the information, all that will do is endanger those ponies. Equestria doesn’t have strong ties with Weigh. Just press on the dark mage angle and get a riot started. And hire a few ponies to burn it down and beat a few horses up.”
“You want to start a war?”
“A distraction. It will also show to the world that the princesses have little control over their own country. If we’re lucky, this will snowball and the herd will run off a cliff.”
Duke Poppycock looked disgustedly at his nephew.
“How did I raise a foal with such a sharp beak?”
Chapter 23: Rollercoasters of Emotion
Chapter 23: Rollercoasters of Emotion
“We would calm down Vegeta. Your heart monitor is elevated,” Luna said.
“And your tail is twitching,” Discord added. “You’re a pacer, aren’t you?”
“You know how big a shot in the dark this is?” Vegeta shot back. “But it’s all we got.”
“And it has brought fruit,” Celestia suddenly came into the room. “Vegeta, black powder exists. It is just unknown to the wider public. The Golden Circle syndicate has only just started importation from our version of the Far East.”
“That’s great!”
“Unfortunately, it’s not so clear cut. As revealing this would easily lead to the blaming of the syndicate. There also seems to be instability in the recipe they use that makes it unpredictable. It cannot be used in the gun you identified. There is too little metal to contain the explosion. But they did leave open the possibility that other nations could find the flaw’s source and correct it.”
“Sister, I know that face. Something has happened?”
Celestia hung her head and chuckled. “You know me too well…”
“Ok who’s dead?” Vegeta asked.
“Bocce’s parents. And although his aunt and uncle are alive, much of Millionaire Row is dead or sickened from poisoned wine at a banquet.”
Every Equestrian in the room gasped.
“Well fuck…” was Vegeta’s only response. “Anything else we should know?”
“Bocce’s father is a member of the Gleaning through his stillborn father.”
“Abandoned baby?” Vegeta asked.
“Correct.”
“Then Bocce is already of noble blood?” Luna said excitedly.
“Proof will be impossible to find so many generations on, Luna.”
“What about a DNA test?” Vegeta asked.
“A what?”
“DNA. It’s a part of a cell that is inherited from the parents. Without that molecule, life would not exist.”
“What is a molecule?” Celestia asked.
“Oh, my fucking gods… You people are so fucking primitive it’s not even funny!”
“If this had been even four days ago,” Celestia said. “I would take great offense to that… But it is clear now there is much we don’t know,” she said disheartened.
A guard poked his head in, “Excuse me, Princess Celestia. Prince Blueblood is here. He says you wanted him to contact you if he discovered anything.”
“Sister, have you employed young Blueblood as well?”
“Yes, his family has their own connections,” she said before exiting the room.
“So, who’s this guy?” Vegeta asked.
“The rightful heir to the old unicorn royal family,” Luna said. “The nobles we are facing are off branches through second sons.”
“Couldn’t he order his relatives around?” Vegeta said.
Luna shook her head, “He and Celestia are extremely close. They even call each other aunt and nephew in the open to show their emotional ties despite the lack of shared blood.”
“So he would be considered a puppet… great…”
~~***~~
Out in the hallway, Celestia and Blueblood were talking in a sound proof bubble spell.
“One of the pirate guards was a ki user?”
Blueblood nodded, then poofed a notebook. “Everything we transcribed from the meeting. We also went over black powder as well.”
Celestia flipped through the book as he kept talking.
“Wu has strong trade ties with the griffons along something they call the silk road going back a thousand years. It passes from Wu, through Weigh, then the Golden Herd into the Griffon Empire. There is also a sea route that passes through the Garuda archipelago, along the Ashtavinayaka coast then through Saddle Arabia and Feligypt into the Mareterranean Sea.”
“Blueblood, this is amazing information.” She hugged him, “Thank you. This will help immensely.”
Celestia dropped the shield and hurried back down the hall.
Blueblood turned and walked out of the wing. Suddenly he threw himself against the wall to avoid getting hit by Twilight erratically flying down the hall. Cadence was right behind her.
He used his magic to straighten his collar and left.
~~***~~
“Sister, this is wonderful. There are even maps and city names,” Luna looked at her over the notebook. “I had no idea that arrogant stallion was so useful.”
Celestia smiled, clearly proud of her nephew.
“Wait, there’s the recipe for black powder. Boiled bird or bat droppings?!” Luna stuck out her tongue in disgust.
“You people are still using that?” Vegeta asked, confused.
“Is there another way?”
“I know there’s a way to not use poop, but don’t ask me how. I remember a documentary about Earth running out of poop to make the gunpowder for their internal wars, so they put their best minds to find another method.”
“Your planet was so warlike; it ran out of poop?” Discord stifled a giggle.
“Humans can be nice, but don’t push them into a corner. They can get quite psycho.”
“Princess Celestia! AHHHHH!” Twilight screamed as she failed her landing and ricocheted off the floor and walls of the hallway before sliding to a stop. “Owe…”
Cadence came into the room, “Celestia! We have a miracle. There is a master ki user in Equestria. And they have connections to Vegeta’s home. They worship a human named Buddha. Twilight recognized their idol’s race.”
Twilight finally got into the room. “Pixiu will be here any minute! Said he was gathering something before he flew here. Sounded like the word croutons.”
Suddenly there was a knock at the window.
A very large being was riding a cloud.
“That’s him!” Twilight threw open the window.
The being floated in.
“Holy fuck a Kinto’un,” Vegeta said.
“Yes,” he said, stepping off the cloud. He then flipped his hood off.
“Holy fuck, a talking panda.”
The Panda laughed heartily. “Ah yes, the famous first words Lord Hui Fen said when he greeted us.” He calmed down. “You must be Prince Vegeta.”
“I didn’t know Pandas could control clouds like pegasus!” Twilight ran over. “I’ve never seen a yellow one,” she went to touch it.
The cloud reared up and slapped her.
“Owe. Why did you do that?” Twilight looked at Pixiu. “You could have just said not to touch.”
“Kinto’uns are living things, not water vapor,” Vegeta glared at her.
“It’s alive?!” Twilight excitedly got close to it again. “How?! Does it just cover itself in clouds? Is this some kind of magical wool?”
The Kinto’un reared back again, partially split and made a copy of a mouth with fangs…
Before turning around, grasping her with a long tail and violently throwing her out the window screaming.
The panda laughed, then petted the cloud. “Calm down, Feiyu. I know you don’t like the unclean touching you.”
“Feiyu, huh?” Vegeta chuckled. “Kakarot’s family’s kinto’un is named Nimbus.”
“Must be a pure and honorable family if all the members can ride him.”
“Yeah…” Vegeta said as his eyebrows fell, “and highly annoying…”
“I’m sure one of your disposition would find a good being annoying.”
Vegeta’s ears pinned back. “It’s not that I hate them. It’s mostly Kakarot. He’s just unbearably stupid. I’ve died for his kids.”
Pixiu raised his palm, “I’m sure you would. Your magic is not all you can’t control. Your ki is quite open. You are a savage beast like I have never felt before, but with unwavering pack loyalty.”
He looked at Celestia. “And you all have joined his pack, and I have no doubt his pack members will respond in kind. You now have many ki warriors at your disposal, princesses. Keep them well.”
Celestia nodded her head. “I intend to.”
Pixiu turned to face her. “Now Princess Celestia, on behalf of all Buddhists, I must say I am very—”
Twilight climbed through the window with twigs in her mane and feathers. She spit leaves from her mouth. “Why did you bring such a dangerous animal with you?!”
“They’re not dangerous if you treat them with respect!” Vegeta snapped. “Good goddess, Twilight. How would you like it if someone did that to you?!”
The kinto’un tapped Pixiu and the rolling pattern of its clouds changed.
“No, I’m not repeating that.”
It changed again.
“Princess Twilight, Feiyu says you are insulting him by calling him a lowly animal. He is a sacred being of the highest temple. And will not stand for such disrespect in his presence.”
“Wait, it’s sentient?!”
The cloud flew over and nodded.
Twilight threw herself on the ground. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry Mr. Cloud!”
“His name is Feiyu, Princess Twilight,” Pixiu said gently.
“I’m sorry Mr. Feiyu!”
The cloud flew back behind the panda.
“I’m afraid once a kinto’un turns its back to you, the judgment stands. He already did not like you as an impure being.”
“Impure?” Luna asked.
“Someone who has never sinned in their entire life,” Vegeta said. “In thoughts and actions. Only people like that can ride one.”
“Not quite that strict, but that is the gist of it. The kinto’un does not experience the world through the mortal shell, but exists on a plane of pure energy and souls. While being rejected does not necessarily mean an unpleasant fate after death, it is not an indorsement.”
“May I try and ride you, Mr. Feiyu?” Pinkie asked excitedly.
“Pinkie, I understand your unending enthusiasm…” Celestia started, but stopped as Feiyu flew over to her.
It seemed to look her over. Then it dove under her blanket.
Pinkie lifted in the air laughing. “Your clouds are tickling me!”
“Why am I not surprised…” Vegeta rolled his eyes.
“You must be Lady Pinkie Pie,” Pixiu came over. “Feiyu, you have made your point. Place the poor girl down.”
Feiyu placed her back on the bed and returned to Pixiu’s side.
“I’ve been feeling a huge power since I first entered Equestria five years ago,” Pixiu smiled, “I see it has been you this whole time. And I can see why you’re so powerful.”
“Care to elaborate?” Vegeta asked.
“This pony has no native magic,” he said before turning back to her. “I’m surprised you even have a cutie mark. Have you had magic infused into you? Your mana heart seems artificial compared to the other ponies I’ve met.” He looked at Twilight, “Even moreso than our youngest princess here.”
“Wait… What do you mean by artificial?!”
“He’s referring to the elements, little Twilight,” Discord said. “You weren’t born an alicorn, were you?”
“I’m the element of laughter,” Pinkie answered.
“I see,” he nodded. “For a piece of the harmonies to latch onto you means you are a great spirit indeed. You are as pure as the crystal that originally housed it.”
Suddenly Pinkie Pie started to cough and grip her stomach.
“Sorry…” she coughed. “I guess… I let… myself… get a little… too excited…”
“May I see this wound the city is gossiping about?”
Pinkie looked at Celestia.
“Yes,” Celestia said, “But we must put the corset back on immediately.”
Celestia lit her horn and pulled off the sheet. Then she undid the hooks, keeping pressure on her barrel with her magic.
Pixiu laid his hand on the wound, then ran his hand along the path.
“You can tell where it is inside?” Luna asked, surprised.
“Yes,” his eyes narrowed. “This is a huo qiang wound.”
“Hoe kang?” Twilight tried to wrap her mouth around the word.
“Fire lance, in Equestrian.”
“Monk Pixiu…” Celestia said hesitantly, “Does the word gun mean anything to you?”
“Yes, gonne is the Golden Herds pronunciation of chong. It is a lance made completely from metal and takes great strength to wield.”
Celestia put her hoof to her chin. “Then that would be the next word in the chain to look for,” Celestia muttered. She put her hoof down. “Twilight, Cadence, head to the Ashtavinayaka, Arabian and Feligypt embassies. Start with the elephas first.”
“Yes!” Twilight shouted and ran from the room, slipping on her hooves in her haste. Candance quickly followed.
“So, the word gun is how chong evolved in the Middle Kingdom?” Pixiu looked at Vegeta.
“Buddhism isn’t the only thing that crossed over, was it?”
“No, but the joy fire crackers brought was quickly soured by the hearts of the cruel.”
“So, guns came directly from Vegeta’s world?” Celestia asked.
Pixiu shook his head. “No, only the black powder. But only in the forms that bring joy and celebration. But it has never been able to behave the same as when it was brought from beyond the mirror. Speaking of which, did Star Swirl not convey the agreement he and Teabit had concerning the reopening of the mirror?”
“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Celestia shook her head.
“I see. We were to be informed when the portal to the middle kingdom would reopen. Lord Hui Fen and the other great teachers that became trapped by the closing preserved themselves in meditation so that one day they could be returned.”
“Are they still alive after fifteen hundred years?” Luna asked.
“Not in a way others would recognize. But yes, they are.”
“What do you mean?”
“Self-mummification?” Vegeta asked, “And encased in statues?”
“Why yes. You know about the meditation?”
“A few years ago, a museum was doing restoration work on a group of statues that were taken as trophies during a conquest a few hundred years prior. They x-rayed them and discovered they were hollow with bodies in them. Made global news. Stories of self-mummification and encasement while alive were considered myths.”
“Does the Middle Kingdom no longer exist?” Pixiu said, shocked.
“It does, but the rulers forced everyone to convert after they became communist. Wiped out every trace there and the places they conquered and annexed, animate and inanimate, hundreds of years ago.”
“Are you saying they slaughtered their own people?” Celestia gasped.
“Why are you surprised at this point?!” Vegeta said exasperated.
“Does the teaching still exist at all?” Pixiu asked calmly, barely hiding his emotions.
“Oh, yeah. Just not there anymore. It’s one of the largest religions on the planet, even after the genocide.”
Pixiu sighed in relief. “While my heart grieves for the Middle Kingdom, I am glad the teachings are not lost.” He turned back to Celestia, “Now. The four kingdoms and myself as representative of the hermit kingdom have agreed that the time is right to prove our teaching true in front of the world by revealing the power of ki.” He looked at Pinkie Pie, “We will defend our spirit sister to our greatest ability.”
Celestia bowed her head, “Your assistance is greatly appreciated.”
“Princess Cele—” a palace guard entered. His jaw dropped before he regained his composure and drew his spear.
His actions caused the other guards to race over and draw their weapons or light their horns.
Celestia and Luna extended their wings blocking the door.
“Lord Pixiu is a guest. Stand down.” Celestia ordered.
The guards stood down, and Raven came forward with a wagon stacked high with papers and scrolls. “Princesses, the papers you ordered from Judge Blackstone.
“Thank you, Raven.” She turned to Pinkie, “I’m sorry Pinkie Pie but you will need to leave the room for now.” She then turned to Pixiu, “I’m sorry, but you will need to leave us temporarily as well, Monk Pixiu.”
He nodded. “I will gladly spend time conversing with Pinkie Pie in the interim.”
She turned back to the guards, “Fetch Duke Fancy Pants as well.”
After the doctors removed Pinkie Pie to her own room and Pixiu and Feiyu followed, Celestia divided the papers between her and Luna.
“It seems they are conflating the incident at Donut Joe’s with Pinkie’s injuries,” Celestia said. She shuffled papers in her magic, “These are sworn statements by Viscount Trident’s employees. That must mean he is cooperating with this.”
Luna gasped. “Sister! This says Donut Joe is dead!”
“What?!” Celestia grabbed the paper.
Luna then turned green and put her hoof to her mouth.
“Sister…” she levitated them over. “His autopsy.”
Celestia took the papers, and also turned green.
“How does that work with fur?” Vegeta thought. “Can I see that? There must be drawings.”
Celestia floated over four pieces of paper and held them up so he could see them all at once.
“That’s an assault rifle death if I ever saw one.”
“Assault rifle?” Luna asked.
“A type of gun. Specifically, the type of gun I saw in the dream walk. It turns an unarmored body into paste like this.”
Luna turned as white as Celestia.
Discord also blanched. “I think the word ‘paste’ is all I need to hear. You don’t have to show me that,” his words raced out of his mouth.
“They seem to know of Bocce’s special talent,” Celestia said looking at another paper. “This said he picked up stones in the street and flung them at Donut Joe and Pinkie Pie.”
“Then cut the lead bullet out of Pinkie Pie,” Vegeta said. “Simple enough to disprove.”
“True…” Celestia said. “Though I would have preferred to wait. There is no guarantee that the wound will actually heal under magic this time.”
“I am still here, you know…” Vegeta lowered his eyebrows.
“Prince Vegeta! We cannot risk you so quickly after the last trauma!” Luna shouted.
Vegeta rolled his eyes.
“Take your life much more seriously!” Luna stood and spread her wings, knocking many things over. “Even if Cadenza had never brought you so close to death! You almost broke your mind to the point you would never wake up again!”
Vegeta’s ears pinned back instinctively. “Ok. Ok. Just chill.”
“Luna…” Celestia said softly as she began picking up everything she knocked over.
Luna looked at the mess and shuffled her wings embarrassed.
“Princesses,” a guard poked his head in. “Fancy Pants is here.”
“Send him in,” Celestia said, finishing straightening the room.
Fancy Pants came into the room. “Princesses,” he bowed.
“Duke,” Celestia said. “Steel your heart. Our adversities have killed innocents in their pursuit of corruption.”
~~***~~
“This is horrible…" Fancy Pants said flipping through the papers. “There are 84 testimonials. And they all take place after the Wonderbolts left the scene. Wait…” He looked at Celestia, “an earth pony can fly?”
“Yes,” Celestia said. “Pinkie learned from Vegeta.”
“Then these are real, and of course they include no time estimates. This will make things difficult as there are honest witnesses mixed in with the frauds.”
“Considering our dearest Joe is dead,” Celestia said with tears welling in her eyes, “Many poor civilians must be forced.”
“That’s obviously illegal,” Vegeta said. “Get one to confess to the death threats or even witnessing this Joe’s death, and you have grounds for an arrest for witness tampering at the very least.”
Everypony glanced at each other, then at him.
Vegeta glared at Celestia. “Witness tampering and intimidation are illegal here, riiiiiiight?” Vegeta snared with venom in his voice.
“Such techniques are commonplace, especially in cases involving the nobility.” Fancy Pants answered. “If anything, confessions and witness statements obtained under them are given greater weight.”
“So, torturing someone until they tell you what they want is perfectly legal?!”
“It’s meant to stop them from lying.” Fancy Pants got defensive.
“I used to torture people for FUN,” Vegeta stressed. “You can get anyone to say anything you want. I know, because I’ve been tortured too! And I broke!”
“Stop calling it torture,” he said. “It is a perfectly legitimate legal technique.”
“So, if a peasant did those things to another peasant, it would be a crime.”
“It is a crime when not done by a specialty trained and licensed professional.”
“So if a licensed peasant did it to another peasant just to get his jollies off, it would be perfectly legal?”
“A peasant cannot be trained or licensed.”
“Ah, there it is… A two-tiered justice system. Peasants are fodder while the nobility cook their meals on their burning corpses.”
“That’s a horrific analogy!”
“Well, you’re a bunch of fucking vegetarians so I couldn’t use EATING their corpses.”
“That’s even worse! I see why that amulet turned you into a dark mage!”
“Don’t give me that! I have better morals than this whole fucking PLANET! The last time laws like this were in place, those centuries are called THE DARK AGES. When civilization and reason collapsed leaving primitive and base instincts to reign unimpeded. What’s next? Trial by combat? Duels to the death?!”
“STALLIONS! ENOUGH!” Luna suddenly shouted at full volume spreading her wings again.
Everyone but Celestia shrank at her Canterlot voice.
“Holy fuck, Luna. That was loud,” Vegeta said.
Celestia began picking everything up again. “This is not a debate on whose legal system is better, but how to rescue Bocce from within it.”
A voice came from the hallway. “Forgive me, Princesses! I heard shouting.”
Celestia stuck her head out the door. “Everything is alright, Monk Pixiu. Just Vegeta and the lawyer quibbling. We’ll call you back when we are ready.”
Celestia came back in the door.
“Who is that, princess?” Fancy Pants asked.
“A native Equus Ki Master. We have discovered Vegeta’s abilities are commonplace in other parts of the planet, as everyday as magic is to us. We have full backing of four ambassadors and their nations to clear Pinkie’s and Vegeta’s names. The same goes with the weapon that was used on Pinkie. I currently have Cadence and Twilight heading to the embassies of the other nations they mentioned. We will have this gun’s existence fully encircled around the Gryphon Empire without revealing our intelligence sources.”
“While wonderful for public opinion, it does nothing to help Bocce. We have to prove every individual witness statement a fabrication. An alternate narrative won’t even be admissible in court, irregardless of the judge presiding.”
“Even with our own herd of witnesses? What about your servants?” Vegeta asked.
“I have had my law license suspended pending disbarment due to being tied publicly to you in the article. Anyone tied to me is now automatically perjured by association. Even if they volunteer for interrogation, it will not be offered. They could have all been arrested as far as I know.”
A guard poked his head in.
“Princess, Dutchess Fleur dis Lee is looking for her husband. She is quite distraught and is crying.”
Fancy Pants turned around, but caught himself before he spoke and looked at Celestia.
“Bring her in.”
Fleur entered the room holding an instant scroll in her magic. She threw herself on her husband and just bawled.
Fancy Pants gently took the scroll from her grasp and read it over her shoulder.
The princesses were speechless as the stiffest lip in Canterlot teared up and hugged his wife tightly.
Celestia took the scroll. She gasped. “This is horrible! Oh my dear Fancy, Fleur.” She put her wing over them. “You two have a home in the palace.”
Celestia floated the scroll to Luna.
“Buck…”
“Luna, language,” Discord scolded.
She floated over the scroll.
Discord made dolphin noises.
“Summary since I can’t read your language?” Vegeta asked.
“My wife received that instant magic scroll from a neighbor. My mansion and all my possessions have been seized and my staff walked off in chains. She questioned a stallion in a suit who seemed to be in charge of everything being loaded into carts. He said my bank account was frozen and at the same time all my loans were called due. The judge in my sector signed the forfeit and seizure approval from his home after hours. He was probably waiting for it, damn him.”
“So, you’re broke and powerless and all your staff have been arrested,” Vegeta summarized.
“No, they were taken as part of the debt, but they—”
“SLAVERY EXISTS ON THIS FUCKING PLANET?!”
“Slavery is illegal in Equestria,” Celestia said sternly.
“But indentured servitude is still used, and even worse after a thousand years, sister,” Luna scowled. “You made me sign magical indentured contracts with my servants after I returned. They are legally mine until I choose to release them, death or are reassigned by court order.” She looked at Vegeta, “In my day, the contract simply teleported the servant back if they tried to run. But now these contracts can be used to cause pain and even kill at the master’s whims.”
“Yep, I’m in the fucking dark ages… I’m sure the morgues must be overflowing with all the stillborn babies coming out of the female staff,” he said sarcastically.
“Modern contracts have sterility magic clauses,” Celestia said. “Special permission must be given to allow a servant to have a family. Stillborns are subject only to daughters, and only if her parents are so inclined to allow things to proceed that far.”
“So, the reason Bocce’s kid was born early was most likely deliberate… at least she’s a stubborn little bitch.”
“Yes,” Celestia said, “Seaswirl hid the pregnancy well for it to get so far along.”
Vegeta turned to Luna. “Not like it will matter if we don’t get this right.”
“Are you still going along with his plan?!” she snapped at Luna, “After everything you just shouted at him?”
“It’s either that or hope Kakarot finds me and teleports here in time,” Vegeta said.
“If this is about an abduction, we shouldn’t be here anymore. By your leave, princess.” Fancy Pants bowed.
“Fleur can leave if she so desires, but you need to stay. It is about time we call Monk Pixiu back.”
Fleur stepped away from her husband. “By your leave,” she bowed to Celestia.
“You may go,” she nodded.
Fleur left the room.
~~***~~
Twilight and Cadence came to the main entrance, and found a crowd of civilians being held back by the guards.
The pegasis guards were having their own problems.
“Looks like we are going to have to fly, Twilie,” Cadence said, spreading her wings.
“Ohhh…” she moaned, then taking to the air herself.
As soon as they were past the walls, they became surrounded in a sphere of reporters.
“Why hasn’t Celestia set the sun? It is past 10 pm.”
“What do you say about Duke Fancy Pants’ estate being seized by the courts and Duke Poppycock bringing unennobling and banishing petitions to the House of Lords to be voted on tomorrow morning?”
“Why is the terrorist and murderer Bocce being hidden in the palace instead of the proper prison? What are you hiding?”
Twilight began to panic.
“Get away!” she shouted as she formed a shield and pushed the reporters back.
“Assault! Assault! The Princesses have assaulted reporters!” they all began to scream.
The crowd below became even more uncontrolled.
“Twilight,” Cadence said as she lit her horn and teleported.
“Wait!” Twilight quickly followed.
They reappeared some distance away.
“There they are!” someone pointed from below.
“Twilight, don’t worry about landing,” Cadence said darting off.
“Wait!”
Twilight put all the magic she could into her wings. Ungraceful was an understatement. A screaming, uncontrolled mass of six flailing limbs that somehow was moving in the general direction of forward was much more accurate.
But she was keeping up with Cadence, that’s all that mattered.
More reporters appeared from the ground. Cadence gracefully dodged.
The screaming mass curled into a ball and made a shield.
She bounced off a roof, skidded across the road, then crashed through a clothing store’s store front.
The reporters quickly pounced as birds danced around Twilight’s head. The blinding flashes from the cameras snapped her out of it enough that she screamed again, pushed them back, then teleported.
She teleported in front of Cadence, who smashed into her.
They fell on a roof.
“Where the hay are the embassies?!” Twilight shouted.
“Twilight, follow me.” Cadence teleported.
Twilight followed.
They landed at the shine, startling the horses, ponies, and peacocks.
“We’re here?” Twilight panted. “Why didn’t we come here in the first place?”
“Because we’re on the opposite side of the city…” Cadence panted. “And I don’t know that street well enough for a blind jump to not to cause an international incident.”
~~***~~
The two found themselves taking tea in the Weigh embassy again.
“Sounds like quite the ordeal,” Ferghana said, watching Twilight’s tea cup shake in her magic. The other three ambassadors were at his side. “You are safe here.”
“Would you like us to send scrolls to the embassies you were trying to reach?” Gyeongjuma asked.
“Your generosity warms my heart,” Cadence said. “Equestria thanks you.”
“If memory serves me, the four of us only have direct relations with Ashtavinayaka,” Kongque said, “So they are the only ones from that list we can use a teleport circle for. They would have to pass them along.”
“What type of teleportation circle?” Twilight asked.
“Just the standard one provided to all embassies.”
“Can I see it?”
~~***~~
“This is the circle,” Ferghana said, leading them to a room. The design was embedded into the floor in solid gold. He then walked over to an altar, “This is a smaller version for papers and scrolls. They are powered by a magic crystal provided by the palace. An amulet controls its destination.”
He turned and saw Twilight looking closely at the circle on the ground.
“Twilight, what are you doing?” Cadence asked.
“Looking to see if anything in the line work would prevent something living going through.”
“I would not think the palace would back such an error,” Cadence said, “That is an espionage dream.”
“I don’t see anything, though,” Twilight lifted her head, “What is the power source?”
He opened a cabinet on the wall that was connected to both circles by lines of gold.
“This is the bottle neck then,” Twilight said. She looked carefully at the gold lines. “Even if we would super charge the crystal, the gold lines connecting them to the circles are not thick enough for the current and would melt.” She looked back at the floor, “But the circle itself is more than robust enough. It’s just a matter of power.”
“Can we power it ourselves?” Cadence asked.
“Maybe?” she said, uncertain. She turned to Ferghana, “What do the amulets look like?”
A gelding presented a box.
Twilight pulled one out. “These look like they can only be stuck to non living things…” she said disappointed.
The door opened again, and Kouma came in followed by several geldings bringing a cage of wrens and large crates.
“What are those for?” Twilight asked.
“Practice.”
Twilight’s ears fell looking at the birds.
~~***~~
A scroll zapped into existence on the altar.
“The bird survived this time as well, princess,” Ferghana said reading it. “And no injury according to the healer.”
Twilight sighed and looked at the cage.
Three out of the 25 birds were left.
Cadence put her hoof over Twilight’s shoulder as the empty crate was returned.
“Twilie, the last 12 were completely unharmed. I think you got this spell down.”
“But… but I killed the first five!” she stuttered. “Just… Just a few more.”
“Twilight,” she said, walking over and climbing in the crate. “Send me over,” she said, closing the lid.
The geldings quickly switched the amulet.
Twilight started to cry. Then she lit her horn and touched it to the entrance of the circle.
The crate vanished.
Twilight ran to the altar and tap danced as she nervously waited.
Shortly a scroll appeared in Cadence’s hoof writing.
“I’m fine. Teleport to me.”
Twilight started to cry, “She’s ok. Oh, thank goodness.”
“That is good to hear,” Ferghana said. “Farewell, young princess. We all await our summoning to the palace.”
The three men bowed, soon followed by the servants.
Twilight bowed her head back, then lit her horn and vanished.
The four looked at each other. “Such a young child,” Gyeongjuma said. “Perhaps Celestia raised her up too soon? She is weak and emotional.”
“Yes, talent does not equal skill,” Kongque said. “But if it wasn’t for this chaos, I doubt Princess Celestia would have let her out of the palace.”
“Yes,” Kouma said. “This was at least a few hundred years before her debut. Completely unsuited for diplomacy.”
The three nodded.
“But this is greatly advantageous to our kingdoms,” Ferghana smiled. “Let’s press this fully. We now have Equestria of all nations at our whims and its rulers in considerable debt.”
~~***~~
Twilight poofed into the courtyard.
Cadence was waiting with several pony guards.
“You’re hair!” Twilight shouted seeing the frayed mess.
“It’ll be fine, Twilight,” Cadence smiled. “It’s not important.”
“Please come with us,” one of the pony’s asked in a very thick accent.
Twilight’s ears twitched and a small zip happened at the tip of her horn. Her rational brain was telling her these ponies did not speak Equestrian natively while her instincts told her it was a severe speech impediment. She bit her tongue to stop her from exclaiming and suppressed her subconsciousness stringing together a healing spell’s base lines.
“Ouch!”
Everyone looked back at her as she rubbed her cheek.
~~***~~
Inside, Twilight saw her first Elephases. They were a tall, minotaur-like race but with flat feet and an elephant-like head with a short trunk that only reached down from slightly below their shoulder to mid-chest depending on the individual. Skin tone, they varied all shades of red from an almost white pink to a deep, almost purple maroon.
They were led to an office. Its walls were decorated with a myriad of weapons and shields. But some looked haphazardly laid out.
Long thick metal poles.
The being behind the desk stood and walked around. They looked young compared to the others.
They were as white as Celestia dressed in gold and gems from the top of their head to the anklets and extravagant embroidery on their shoes.
“Greetings princesses of Equestria! I am Lord Nanda, grandson of Maharaja Bimbisara by his eighth wife.”
Cadence nodded a bow. “May the peaceful reign of your family be eternal.”
“Please sit,” he gestured to the oversized chairs.
The two climbed up.
He sat back down.
“How has Equestria been treating you the past two years?” Cadence asked. “We have not spoken since your arrival feast.”
“I’ve greatly enjoyed your hospitality,” he smiled. “I am sorry it has to come to an end so soon.”
“Are you leaving us?” Cadence asked.
He nodded. “After the recent internal conflicts Equestria has suffered, my nation thought a more experienced ambassador would be more appropriate. The letter arrived shortly before the magic scroll from the Weigh Embassy.” He opened the scroll that was laying on his desk.
“He said you are seeking the history of chongs passing through our country. My interpreter said these chongs are what we call bundooks.” He motioned to the poles, “So I had ours collected.”
Twilight hopped off the chair and ran over, “So these are the fire lances Pixiu mentioned?”
“Twilight,” Cadence snapped.
“What?” she looked at her confused.
“Yes,” he said walking over. “We first got these from Saddle Arabia a few hundred years ago. While a two-horse weapon, we are large enough to hold by ourselves.” He picked one up effortlessly to showcase.
Then he knelt. “The first few feet are hollow. You shove black powder in, then the ball wrapped in cloth, then you shoot it by setting fire to this hole,” he pointed at the hole drilled in the metal.
“And these are commonplace in your army?” Cadence said walking over.
“It helps our elite Elephas units keep up with the unicorns, but other than bringing down war elephants, bows and crossbows are still used by the peasant units. The amount of metal isn’t worth it on a wide scale.” He put down the one he was holding and picked up another.
This one has a huge crack and a chip missing from the hollow end. Then he took three fragments out of a bag that was tied to the bundook. “Pravir, come here.”
An Elephas guard with a sword hanging from his belt stepped out from behind a screen.
The right side of his face was scarred. And he was missing an eye.
“This bundook exploded during fire practice two months ago,” Lord Nanda said, “These were taken out of his face.”
Twilight put her hoof to her mouth as her fur tinged green.
Pravir suddenly spoke. He did not sound happy.
“He said do not insult a warrior.” Lord Nanda said.
“Twilight,” Cadence scolded.
Twilight, however, glanced around then dashed for what she hoped was a trash can.
The guard began drawing his sword.
Lord Nanda got in-between and spoke to him. He put the sword back and sounded completely shocked.
He pointed at Cadence shyly.
Lord Nanda turned around. “Pravir wishes to confirm that Princess Twilight is underage.”
Cadence turned to Pravir and nodded. “The pony equivalent of that, yes. She would be underage by Elephas’ aging standards.”
“(The most renowned hero in Equestria is no greater than an infant.)”
“(A highly overpowered infant, but yes.)”
“(You are only 19 years yourself, my lord.)”
“(At least I am of age,)” he said proudly.
~~***~~
Twilight was presented with tea to calm her stomach.
“Thank you,” Twilight said.
“Would you like some as well?” Lord Nanda asked Cadence.
“I am afraid I have no more room after all of my recent visits, but thank you for your hospitality.”
“I hope this visit has been useful,” Lord Nanda said.
“Yes. It has been very illuminating. Thank you.”
“The introduction scroll said you also planned to visit the Saddle Arabia and Feligypt embassies next.”
“Yes. Since you said that you were introduced to these weapons by Saddle Arabia, it will be our next stop.”
“I will compose an introductory letter at once,” Lord Nanda said.
He stood, “Excuse me.” He left the room.
Cadence looked at a clock. “I hope you calm down quickly, Twilight. It is already close to midnight.”
~~***~~
In the Arabian embassy, the ambassador and his wife are woken up.
He squints at the open curtains. “Good gods, don’t tell me she hasn’t set the sun yet…”
“My lord. Word from young Lord Nanda. The Equestrian princesses Mi Amore Cadenza and Twilight Sparkle are making their way secretly through the embassies via the luggage portals. We are their next stop.”
“Those can transport beings?” his wife blinked.
“Some kind of modification with alicorn magic. It can’t be replicated according to him. They are searching for bunduq, sir. The letter he received from Weigh said Lady Pinkie Pie was shot with one protecting another named Bocce from assassination.”
This got Ambassador Rasheed to sit up, “You mean from the newspaper?”
“Most likely.”
“That means everything in there was a lie…” He jumped out of bed and shook himself. “Wake Mido as well. There’s only one race capable of such a feat.”
Chapter 24: Back at the Castle
Chapter 24: Back at the Castle
Back at the castle…
“If this is about an abduction, we shouldn’t be here anymore,” Fancy Pants bowed. “By your leave, princess.”
“Fleur can leave if she so desires,” Celestia said, “but you need to stay. It is about time we call Monk Pixiu back.”
Fleur stepped away from her husband. “By your leave,” she bowed to Celestia.
“You may go,” she nodded.
Fleur left the room.
Celestia poked her head out, “Please escort Monk Pixiu back in.”
~~***~~
Fancy Pants stood straight and waited for this monk to enter, a foreigner by the sound of his name and the accent he heard.
He wiped the emotion from his face and waited incredulously to see this foreigner Celestia wanted to expose to a legal case of the highest magnitude.
He was met with a wall of cloth.
He looked up.
Then up.
Then up again.
By the time their eyes met, his neck was vertical and his jaw on the floor.
“Greetings,” Pixiu chuckled. “I am Pixiu, a panda from Teabit.”
“Yes… Yes! Welcome my jolly big fellow. I am Duke Fancy Pants. Currently acting as legal advice.”
Luna chuckled at his face. “Yes. It is rare that we and my sister must look up.”
Celestia was strangely somber.
“Forgive me princesses, but why invite our honored guest into such sensitive legal discussions?” Fancy Pants asked. “I understand his need for public relations, but as I said before, nothing will be admissible in court.”
“Fancy Pants,” Celestia smiled. “Please just trust me in this.”
“I do, Princess Celestia, I do.”
“Then let’s get on with the discussions.”
Fancy Pants dipped his head, “Yes… your majesty.”
“So,” Pixiu asked. “May Feiyu enter as well? He may be slightly arrogant, but he does have good insight.”
“Of course,” Celestia nodded approvingly.
Pixiu ducked under the doorframe. “Feiyu! Come here.”
The cloud entered the room.
“Duke Fancy Pants, this is Feiyu, my partner serving at the embassies’ shine. He’s served at our home temple for many centuries.”
Feiyu flew up to his face and mimicked a nod.
“Pleasure is all mine,” Fancy Pants smiled after a moment of bewilderment.
Feiyu flew back to Pixiu and began rolling his clouds excitedly.
Pixiu chuckled. He conversed with it in Teabitan with Feiyu twisting in response.
“(I’m not going to let this humiliation stand!)”
“(They don’t mean to be speciesist. Just calm down. They did not know ki existed until a few days ago. How would they know about the high temple?)”
“(The princesses should know everything about the high temple! They were—)”
Discord suddenly coughed. “Excuse me, Feiyu. But some things are better left unsaid.”
“Oh, you speak Kintu’on?” Pixiu said surprised.
“I’ve had my run ins, yes.”
Feiyu flew over and suddenly formed spikes.
“That was eons ago,” Discord chuckled nervously. “Can’t we just let bygones be bygones?”
Feiyu flew closer menacingly.
“Just because I can bleed, doesn’t mean I should,” Discord sank back into his pillow.
“(Feiyu! Please. We are guests.)”
Feiyu flew back and began rolling in front of Pixiu to Discord’s visible relief.
“I am sorry for whatever Discord did to you in the past,” Celestia said. “But I ask for peace for the time being while we deal with what is in front of us.”
Feiyu turned his “head” to Celestia, then “looked” back at Pixiu.
“(I know, but let’s keep the peace. Celestia’s announcement of Discord’s taming may be delusional, but those injuries are real. And when would Discord willingly put himself in danger?)”
Feiyu flew back over to Discord. “(How did you hurt yourself?)”
“Saving the princesses and Vegeta from their own stupidity.”
“I second the pure stupidity of the past few days,” Vegeta said.
Feiyu flew over to him.
“Sorry, I don’t speak Kuntu’on,” he answered.
The cloud sank and flattened, then returned to Pixiu’s side.
“He said let’s proceed,” Pixiu said. He smiled, “With quite the annoyed huff, I might add.”
Then his face turned serious. “But the duke’s words stick with me. Why is my testimony and revealing of ki of no use?”
“Because an alternate telling of events, even with its own proof, is not admissible. The only defense is proving each witness factually wrong one by one by circumstance, as they were not present at the time, etc. Their words are beyond reproach otherwise when gathered properly.” He looked at the wagon of documents, “And our opponents have every ton dotted and zef crossed from a legal perspective.”
Feiyu flew in front of Pixiu.
“He says guilty until proven innocent?”
“I take offense to that,” Fancy Pants said. “That the prosecutor and police are given deference is common sense. No common pony of sound mind would believe the level of corruption needed for everything they are spouting to be lies would even be possible.”
Pixiu looked from him to Celestia. “You have a strong sense of justice, princess. Revealing such a deep level of corruption within the—”
Celestia’s ears drooped as the consequences sank in.
“—police, judicial system and the government run by the nobility will cause distress in the pop…ul…” He sighed. “You haven’t even thought through the consequences, have you? And with a violent foreign power like the griffon empire deeply involved with the corrupt nobles? Unless this Bocce is of some secret importance to the empire, this was a petty request they saw no harm in granting to their allies.”
“I believe in my little ponies,” Celestia answered.
“This isn’t a children’s story anymore,” Vegeta said.
Celestia turned around. “Then we will all freeze to death in a matter of hours. The spell Clover the Clever cast was not a one-time spell. It must be constantly maintained through trust and friendship. If it falters, we die.”
“The origin story?” Vegeta asked.
Celestia’s eye twitched. “I will tolerate the wording for now. But yes.”
“You may trust your ponies, Celestia. But Pixiu is right,” Vegeta said. “Our enemy is the royal family you replaced that are allied with a country that has weapons you can’t counter.”
“And Pinkie getting hurt just fucked up their timing.” Discord interrupted. “Celestia, I know discord better than anyone. It’s my name after all. It’s either you continue to let the nobles do what they have done for thousands of years, or we will panic them into a coup.”
“And blame it all on us and Vegeta, sister. A coup to save Equestria from the darkness of its own government. First my return, then Discord, now Vegeta.”
“They will turn your love and forgiveness against you,” Discord said. “Call you weak and blind.”
“If those are your public attributes,” Vegeta said cautiously, “Then the coup could be framed as a rescue operation, not an overthrow. Turning you into a puppet. Cadence has an escape as a—”
Flames flickered through Celestia’s hair. “Anyone who touches Twilight will BURN.”
Vegeta’s ears pinned back. “Gee… maybe we should do a paternity test between the two of you…” he chuckled.
Celestia’s hair instantly went out.
Fancy Pants looked up. “Sky’s above stop putting me in these positions.”
“I was joking!”
He pointed at him, “That’s not something to joke about the Virgin Princess!”
Discord snickered, then flat out laughed. “Virgin?! My first prank on her was switching the positions right before the good part! Luna had a brother for a few weeks until I reversed it.”
“You never switched back Sand Dollar,” Celestia glared at him.
Discord stopped laughing. “I didn’t?”
“No!” she and Luna shouted at once.
Discord shrank a little under his blanket from the death glares of the two mares. “Opps.”
“As unusually enlightening as this is,” Pixiu raised his paw. “Let’s return to the law aspect of this. As violence never crossed your mind, you must have some legal recourse.”
“We did,” Celestia said. She turned to the papers, “But they have been predicted quite well and circumvented, as Fancy Pants mentioned. At this point I am hoping presenting the judge in this case with our evidence will be enough to pressure him.”
“Sounds like your plan is the both of you playing chicken with a cliff,” Vegeta said.
“I don’t know what playing chicken is,” Pixiu said, “But I think I understand with the cliff. You are trying to make your opponent blink. Does that translate well?”
“Yes, it does,” Celestia said. “And that is the idea that comes to mind first.”
“With the newspaper I read,” Pixiu said. “I believe making you blink is the more apt use of the phrase.”
Feiyu flew up again.
“Feiyu wants to hear more about these false witnesses that have been lined up. And what is their punishment for false testimony?”
“Death.” Fancy Pants said flatly.
“Oh so first they get tortured into a false confession, then they are put to death if they come clean?!”
“Stop calling it torture!” Fancy Pants snapped back. “It’s—”
“If you say enhanced interrogation techniques, so help me gods, when I get my real body back, I’m punching you then Shen Long in the fucking…”
Vegeta stopped mid-sentence, then he looked at Celestia.
“Does double jeopardy exist for resurrecting the dead?”
Pixiu said resurrection while the others said double jeopardy at the same time.
Vegeta sighed. “Double jeopardy means once acquitted you cannot be retried by the government until they get the result they want, even if you confess after the fact. It also means once a punishment is served, that’s it. What I’m talking about is punishment. If someone is put to death, is their punishment completed or if resurrected, they have to keep being rekilled until it sticks?”
Fancy Pants stuttered. “WHAT BLACK MAGIC IS THIS?!” he finally shouted after his tongue reconnected to his brain.
“I wouldn’t say that to the Divine Dragon’s face,” Vegeta said. “Shen Long gets pissy.”
“A black dragon exists on your planet?!”
“WHAT PART OF DIVINE DID YOU NOT HEAR?!”
Feiyu suddenly jumped in front of Vegeta, spinning wildly.
“We would both like to know about this divine dragon that can resurrect the dead,” Pixiu said walking over to the bed, his bulk making everyone back out of his way.
~~***~~
As the three-way conversation continued, Discord got a wild grin on his face, Fancy Pant’s eye started twitching, and Celestia and Luna both summoned papers and quill at the same instant. They glanced at each other briefly, surprised, but then started scribbling notes.
Eventually Feiyu moved to “look” at Pixiu. “(Sounds like this dragon is no different than—)”
“HEY! HEY!” Discord shouted suddenly. “Bad cloud! Bad! Shut up! Your mom will be pissed.”
Feiyu turned into a ball of spikes and flew over.
“I’m not backing down,” he said forcefully, staring it down. “You KNOW better.”
“Excuse me,” Pixiu came over. “You said ‘will’ not ‘would’. Has the Mother of the Skies finally returned?”
Feiyu suddenly drew in his spikes and got close to the left side of Discord’s face.
Discord nervously glanced at Celestia as Feiyu began hopping up and down and doing loops.
She glared at him.
“Ahem,” Celestia coughed as Pixiu and Feiyu hugged and danced around. “While I see the joy of the return of this ‘Mother of the Skies’… we are already burning daylight that should have not existed in the first place.”
The two instantly stopped and looked at Celestia, then glanced at a confused Luna, then turned back to look at Discord.
Discord crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow.
Celestia scribbled down one last note before shuffling the papers. “So, Vegeta. You’re saying that if this wish is structured correctly, everyone who was forced can be separated from those who willingly lied?”
“As far as I know. There might be some stipulation over lawful executions, but it's not like they will all die before Kakarot gets here, and he can relay the message to Dende.”
“Yes,” Luna interjected, shuffling her papers as well. “You said both Earth’s and Namek’s dragons have been altered in your lifetime. And that the delay varies based on the maximum used and if the wish requires more magic than normally allotted to a single wish?”
“And…” Celestia took a deep breath. “Joe, can be brought back from the dead?”
“Him I am 100% sure of. A simple violent murder by a gun. No complications.”
Celestia shocked everyone by wiping her eyes. She sighed and gave a relieved smile. “Yes. And with this we have our ace in the hole. There are so many new options now. We can even call their bluff. 84 lives vs one.”
Celestia’s smile took a slightly more sinister look. “They won’t get away with this, Joe. I’ll rip this cancer out of my kingdom once and for all. I’ll make it safe. Then you and everyone else will come back to a safer world.”
“Ummm… sister? We understand your excitement. But let’s—”
“Princess,” Fancy Pants suddenly spoke.
The sisters looked at him surprised that he interrupted. He was much closer to the door than they remembered.
“I believe this current turn of events is beyond my expertise,” he said, backing away to the door. “As such, I must regretfully withdraw my counsel. By your leave.”
Instead of bowing or waiting to be dismissed, he ran.
Luna stuck her head out the door and caught a glimpse of his tail rounding a corner.
She looked back inside, “Sister, I believe we overwhelmed the poor stallion.”
Celestia came to the door, “Guards. Send word to the guards stationed at the duke’s suite. No messages get in or out.”
“Yes, Princess!” they saluted and Celestia reentered the room as they chose who to send to the Lunar Tower.
Celestia’s slightly off grin returned. “Now, let’s plan this out.”
“Now, just because the option exists does not mean we should allow needless death to happen,” Pixiu said, crossing his arms.
Feiyu nodded next to him.
“I have no intention to do more harm than needed,” Celestia said, offended. “But in the quest to cure a cancer…”
She narrowed her eyes.
“The treatment is not always pretty in the short term.”
Celestia lit her horn and a green wall covered the door.
“A sound shield, sister?” Luna said, surprised.
Celestia ignored the question.
“First, let’s assume the griffons are backing the old royal family. We need to arrange this to look like a lost cause so they withdraw support, leaving the Gleanings flanks exposed. We already have a solid link to these guns from the east to the west, and when the girls return, I know we’ll have an even greater one. They would obviously already know its wounds can’t be closed by magic,” She looked at Vegeta, “but they don’t know about ki.”
She looked at Pixiu, “Even if healing with ki doesn’t exist here, they don’t know that, but they soon will regardless once contact is established with this Earth. I’m sure the East would be eager to learn how it’s done.”
Pixiu nodded. “The ability is known, but is exceedingly rare. Even I, a kintu’on rider, cannot do it. It has been many generations since a powerful healer of the prestige Vegeta described existed.”
Celestia nodded. “We know about the guns. We know how to treat and heal the wounds. We have the backing of the nations who originated both. And the surrounding nations will know what they have. The griffons will realize they have lost any advantage. Pressing that button over and over combined with the staff change over in a few days will cause a retreat. Now, we have other intelligence that the empire is gathering unknown allies for a possible war with Equestria. It is fresh, barely a day old, so we have nothing else. But if we convince the griffons this incident has sabotaged their efforts, they won’t take kindly to it. Let’s plan for the riots Duke Poppycock could try to manifest, and an evacuation of the palace in case this coup materializes. With us from above, the Golden Circle screaming for vengeance from below, and the beaks of the empire nipping at their flanks, we’ll destroy them.” She took a calming breath, “Then. Then we can turn our full attention to the empire and pluck its feathers.”
Discord shivered, “Oh that’s the side of you two I never wanted to see again.”
Feiyu got Pixiu’s attention and directed him to look at Vegeta, who had a grin and murderous gleam of adoration in his eyes.
He sighed, “And this Golden Circle is who?”
“A mediation council created to prevent wars between major crime families,” Celestia said. “If something important happens that will affect stability, like the harassment and murder of members by nobles, they contact me and we find solutions that are discreet and as close to legal as possible.”
“I take back what I said about your dedication to justice,” he scolded.
“I am nigh immortal,” Celestia said, “I worked generations to rip them away from the nobles and have them come to me instead. And I will continue to work to co-op them and ultimately make legitimate alternatives as time progresses. But right now, they want revenge. And as Discord and Luna have pointed out, I need to keep my white fur as pristine as possible. It has considerably darkened as of late.”
“And here they all said you were the goddess of kindness,” Vegeta chuckled.
Celestia raised her head high. “I am also the pony who single hoovedly destroyed the previous Great Gryphon Empire and chased them back to their nests.” She gave a full psycho smile, “No one kills one of my little ponies and gets away with it.”
~~***~~
The meeting adjourned until Twilight and Cadence returned.
Celestia and Luna entered the hallway to Celestia’s bedchambers.
“How long should we handle the raising and lowering?” Luna asked as they came to the door.
The guards saluted as they entered.
The door closed behind them.
“Do you want a long night to match—”
Celestia unceremoniously fell on her rump. “Coffee. I need coffee. My anger has run out…”
Luna trotted over to her coffee maker hidden in a cabinet. “Yes, we noticed. While our memories are much fresher, seeing Discord’s reaction Pixiu’s disapproving glare just reminds me of how much we have missed…” She said floating the maker out and plugging it in. She went to grab a bag, and her ears fell.
“Ummm… Sister….” She came over floating the small bag. “You only have one left…”
She held it up to her sulking sister.
The label said “Donut Joe’s Eternal Sunshine Blend: Celestia Approved.”
“Do you want us to make it or…”
Celestia suddenly ripped it from her magic.
“No,” she said standing up. “I’ll keep this as a memento…”
She walked slowly across the room, staring at the bag.
”I know Vegeta said he’s coming back… but I just… just in case…” She came to a wall and lifted the tapestry.
Luna gasped at the medallion on the wall.
“Starswirl’s extra spectral room? How? It was embedded in the wall of his chambers.”
“Look at the stonework, Lulu,” she said as she poured her magic into the medallion.
“Did… Did you bring the entire wall?!”
“If there is a will, there is a way,” Celestia said as the magic door opened.
The two went into the portal.
“Oh my baby stars,” Luna said looking around at the messy desk and bookshelves. “It hasn’t changed a bit.”
“He always was particular about his preservation magic. No matter what you do, it always finds itself back where he wanted it.”
“OUR ROOM!” Luna charged past her.
She swung it open.
Luna spun around looking at everything.
“It’s exactly the same…” she said mournfully.
She then went to a chest painted with rainbows and clouds.
“Our toys…” she said, floating up some colorful wooden blocks and a leather ball.
She chuckled, holding back tears. “What do you think modern Equestria would think of us now if we trotted around with leather items?”
“That’s what he made these rooms for. For us to be children away from the old rulers and nobles trying to control us.”
“Under his strict supervision so we studied first,” Luna said, putting them away. “We tried so hard… but you never needed to study. You read something once or saw something once and it was yours forever.”
“But memorization is not learning,” Celestia put her wing over her, “I would have failed horribly without you there when we were left alone.”
“We wonder what your room looks like now after a thousand years…”
Celestia looked down at the bag again.
“Don’t hate me Luna…”
~~***~~
They entered the room.
Luna looked around and Celestia walked on.
“Tis not too different,” she said. Then she saw Celestia walk up to a red cabinet.
“Is that your memento cabinet for Sand Dollar and Sundial? You enlarged it. Why?”
Celestia undid all the magical locks.
“You shoved everything on the top shelves?” she said, surprised. Then she looked where Celestia placed the bag.
Luna’s fur puffed up and she spread her wings.
“Why are there two sets of wedding rings?! Sister…” Luna devolved into random stuttering and sounds.
Celestia laughed sorrowfully. “You sound like Twilight…”
Luna looked over the new items. She saw wedding photos with a pink unicorn.
“You shapeshifted?! Did he even know?”
“Yes, he found out, no thanks to Raven. He asked me to marry him… And I panicked like an idiot. I used the excuse of the sterility clause to ask myself permission. He offered to come to the palace with me to show me how much in love we were.
“I disappeared for a week… but then he came to personally deliver his coffee in hopes to see me. The guards knew my disguise so they guided him in. But the inner staff had no clue, and by the time I heard he was in the palace, the guards and Raven were in a heated discussion about my existence.”
She sighed, “Part of my ponysona was being a bit of a klutz. But between my panicked running and the newly waxed floors… I pulled a Twilight and slid across the floor into a table and vase… It took everything I had to not burst into tears when I saw his face.”
She wiped her eyes. “I was able to gracefully invite him to tea and get him alone for a while as the staff ran around…. He just tried to act cool and just said ‘Soooooo… Pink Dawn… right?’
“I cast the spell quickly then back. All I could do was squeak out ‘Forgive me…’ And he said on one condition. I said anything.”
She looked at a paper bag. “He held up his little bag shaking in his magic and said ‘Officially sponsor your blend when I go and sell it and we’ll call this even.’
“I hung my head and agreed. Then he called me Dawn and told me to look at him.” She then looked at the flower preserved in magic. “Then he pulled the flower that had been in my hair the whole time, held it up to me and said, so cool, ‘Ya know, you haven’t answered me yet.”
She shook her head. “I forgot my size and bowled him over to kiss him. Then as we were both laughing at my stupidity, we heard, “I told you she was bucking the coffee guy!’ from out in the hallway. I looked over the table and saw the staff at the door…” she blushed embarrassed, “And I saw money changing hooves!” She picked up several miniature books and expanded them to full size. “And that’s why my side of the wedding is all the serving and kitchen staff.”
Celestia started crying as she opened one of the albums.
Luna stopped her. “Tia… We loathe to say the obvious here…but—”
“I know, Lulu. This changes everything. The death of a royal puts the case squarely in the castle jurisdiction. But we chose secrecy. And he’s coming back. And even if that wasn’t an option, we promised.”
Luna pulled her in with her leg then wrapped a wing over her. “We will keep thy secret. And will look forward to formally meeting him as our brother-in-law.”
~~***~~
In the staff dormitory, the disguised Dalibor and the changeling were gathered with the other interns and their seniors reading the second newspaper of the day.
“Ok this is griffon droppings,” the reader tossed the paper on the floor. “I can’t read it anymore.”
“Do… do they even know?” one stallion said, panicking. “Should we leave the city? Celestia is going to burn Canterlot to the ground.”
“If the poor saps were no one of importance, she would have done it already,” another said. “This is big. It’s a noble, and an important one.”
Dalibor picked up the paper from the floor. “Why would the princess burn the capital to the ground? What’s going on?”
“Celestia is married to Donut Joe,” a mare said. “All the servants were at the secret wedding.”
“What?!” all the interns shouted, except Dalibor and the changeling.
“What about this Duke Poppycock?” the changeling asked cautiously. “Fancy Pants is a known favorite of Princess Celestia.”
“If it’s him we're doomed,” a waiter began to panic, “He’s the leader of the old unicorn royal family faction.”
“I thought that was Blueblood?” it asked.
Another mare rolled her eyes. “He’s so wrapped up in the palace, I doubt he’d even know that the sun shines outside the castle walls.”
“He’s not an idiot,” another waiter defended him, “Celestia had him walk her down the aisle. He may not be the lover the nobles whisper about, but he’s in bed deep with the princesses. I don’t remember anyone from Duke Poppycock’s camp ever saying more than a curt pleasantry to him before parting ways in my 16 years on the front line.”
“Is Equestria about to fall apart again? This time in a civil war?” Dalibor asked.
“Like I said, Canterlot is going to burn. No one can go against Princess Celestia.”
Dalibor weighed his next words as the conversation continued.
“What about the weapon that hurt Pinkie Pie?” he said carefully. “The one that could not be healed except by trying to twist dark magic into a healing spell? The one that almost cost the dark mage his life?”
“Don’t be silly,” the changeling said. “If they had a weapon capable of that, they wouldn’t have wasted its first use on Lady Pinkie Pie.”
“She’s right,” one said.
“But they still have something that took dark magic to fix,” another voice quivered. “Who did they make it for?”
“Maybe it was for the bearers after all? To neutralize the elements? A wound that even Celestia can’t heal.”
As the conversation turned in this new direction, Dalibor looked out the window at the still sunny sky.
And the changeling was looking at him.
“He doesn’t taste right…” it thought. “It’s not the same stress and fear of the others.
“…Is he another spy?”
~~***~~
“What do you mean Prince Blueblood was at his wedding?!”
The black clothed griffon showed Ambassador Irmhild the wedding albums.
Even with a different cutie mark, he knew that infuriating stallion’s face anywhere.
He flipped through the pages. “He walked the bride down the aisle?! Who is she?”
“The marriage certificate says Pink Dawn, but we have found nothing else. But Prince Blueblood’s father was known for—”
He slammed his clawed fist on the desk. “I don’t want speculation. I want facts!” He pointed at the door “Get out!”
An aide came into the room next and saluted. “Sir, a message from Emperor Aurelius has arrived.”
He placed the diptych on the desk and left.
Horror dawned on Irmhild’s face as he realized dawn was now two hours late in the imperial capital.
~~***~~
A very confused unicorn was looking around the latest place he found himself in. He looked down at his hooves then back at his flank. The rear of legs and flanks still whisped into clouds and his tail was nonexistent.
“I’m told your name is Donut Joe.”
He looked forward at more bipeds sitting at a table.
The afterlife was strangely full of bipeds. At least the flowers and grasses of the eternal fields were as delicious as he was told they would be.
“Yes… and you are more kais?” he asked nervously.
“Yes,” the biped stood from his chair, “I am the current Supreme Kai.” He gestured to the old one, “This is my predecessor, please refer to him by the title of Elder Kai.”
“Come sit with us,” Elder Kai said, gesturing at a low chair with pillows.
Donut Joe sat nervously. “I was told the overseers wanted to talk with me?”
“Yes,” the Supreme Kia said sitting back down, “We are the overseers of all creation.”
Elder Kai chuckled at the look on his face. “Most religions are not fully accurate about this far up and away from the normal experience of mortal souls.”
“I meant no disrespect.”
“And none is taken,” the Supreme Kai said. He looked at Donut Joe expectantly.
There were a few moments of silence.
“So… what did you want to talk to me about?”
“Everything.”
Chapter 25: Vows and Oaths
Chapter 25: Vows and Oaths
Ambassador Rasheed waited in the teleport room.
The crate appeared and Cadence climbed out.
He clenched his teeth to stop from laughing at her mane and tail.
Then Cadence lit her horn and Twilight soon appeared next to her.
“Greetings, princesses. Welcome to the Saddle Arabian embassy.”
“And thank you for having us under these unusual circumstances,” Cadence bowed her head.
“Let’s hurry to my private office.”
~~***~~
They were led to the room and the door was shut leaving them alone.
The princesses sat on the pillows on the carpets and the ambassador sat behind a low desk.
“Lord Nanda’s letter said you are seeking knowledge on bunduq—”
“Bundook,” Twilight corrected.
“Twilight,” Cadence scolded.
“What?”
“It’s bunduq in our language,” Rasheed said, his face twitching. “If anything, their word is a bastardization of ours.”
“I apologize on behalf of Equestria,” Cadence said.
“What, what? Why? What’s happening?” Twilight said, looking between the two.
“Twilight, just be silent,” Cadence said firmly. “Once this is over, we are going to have so much work smoothing over all your mistakes.”
“Mistakes?!” Twilight gasped.
“Since the youngest princess clearly has no diplomatic tack,” Rasheed smiled. “Why don’t we have her wait outside.”
He rang a bell and a servant came in.
“Gather the guards. Princess Twilight will be waiting in the courtyard while I converse with Princess Cadence. Don’t let her leave and do not respond to any questions.”
The servant left and immediately guards entered. They were all carrying what looked like bundooks with bronze cylinders and wooden staves.
“They might not be as powerful as their pure iron counterparts,” he smiled. “But if the newspaper's description of the injuries can be believed, they are more than enough for even an alicorn.” He waved his hoof. “Take her to the courtyard.”
“Twilight, just go. Now. And don’t do anything stupid,” Cadence said harshly.
“Ok…” Twilight got up and left.
“For a scholar on conversation and interactions, she is surprisingly inept. For your sake, I hope she understands.”
“I’m sure your guards are equipped with the best your kingdom has as brother of the sultan,” Cadence said.
“Indeed.”
~~***~~
Twilight was led out to the courtyard. The perimeter was lined with horses with a wide variety of bunduq designs.
She took a passing glance then sat next to the water fountain and sulked.
~~***~~
“So,” Rasheed continued. “The griffons have tried to kill one of the great bearers. That is not a question.”
Cadence furrowed her brow suspiciously. “I cannot confirm or deny anything concerning the injuries of Lady Pinkie Pie.”
“Our own country has suffered similar fates. Three months ago, 37 males across the entire country were shot at the same time. Quite the power move by the empire.”
“How do you know it was the griffons?”
“Because all the males shot were deserters from the Feligyt army after our most recent war. I must advise against traveling to the Feligyt embassy next. They have a military alliance treaty with the empire and their troops are trained there. They even make their officers go through their killing ritual. If you go there, all that will do is give the empire royal hostages.”
“I did not know there was a war between your nations.”
“It was just a single battle… a massacre really. The ports of Sharm el-Shagya and Aqabarb were taken six months ago. Feligypt, or should I say the Gryphon Empire now controls the entirety of the Ard ul-Fayruz. They have already finished laying iron roads for their smoking beasts and have started digging a canal.”
“Iron roads… do you mean trains?”
He shook his head. “There is not an ounce of magic left in the empire. Only ash and fire that blacken the skies and choke the lungs. Feligypt is now doing the same under their direction. Even museums are having their magical artifacts destroyed. Not depowered. Destroyed.”
“But Feligypt was the birthplace of non-pony magic.”
“Which no longer matters. If the weapons they used to take the ports is of any indication, magic is becoming obsolete.”
“I’m glad he sent Princess Twilight away…”
“And what were these weapons?” Cadence asked.
“New types of bunduq. Some screech like griffons when used, others are as silent as the wind. Either way, they are truly horrible, even by burduq standards. And as they are made specifically for claws, most races cannot use them, as claws, paws and fingers are exceptionally rare for sentients.”
“Yes…” Cadence thought out loud. “Minus the three major bird-like races, the bipedals, and the centaurs, a good 75% of this planet’s population has hooves.”
“I would say even more than that. Ponies are a major minority even in non-hooved nations. Except for the empire, but Equestria carved Trottingham and Prance from its hide 500 years ago.”
“Is Saddle Arabia willing to testify to the existence of these weapons?”
“No.” he said bluntly. “Unlike Equestria that only faces assassination, we face an imminent, full invasion if we ruffle their feathers. But,” he raised his hoof to stop Cadence. “There is a work around. There were originally 38 deserters.”
He turned around. “Mido, you can come in now.”
A Felis entered from behind the drapes that separated the private rooms like tents.
The first thing Cadence noticed from the bipedal cat was the scar and missing left ear. Next, his left sleeve was rolled up and pinned at the shoulder. Then there was the crutch under his right arm. Finally, the right peg leg.
“Unteroffizier Mido al-Qitt of the 5th Hawara Midfa battalion,” the cat awkwardly saluted.
He was missing two digits and a chunk of his paw.
“Forgive me… but what happened to you?”
“Survived two run-ins with griffon feuerwaffes,” he said, trembling. “And I’m probably about to be asked to do so a third time…” He looked at Rasheed. “The Sultan said Equestria was the safest place for me. But now the griffons are shooting up Royal retainers?!” He started to cry. “Nowhere… Nowhere is safe now from a Scharfschutze.”
“You speak griffon?”
“Trained 4 years in the fathernest, unit retrained in Feligypt twice by griffon officers for new midfa designs, and partnered with different Hessian groups and individual mercenaries over the past 9 years. But I saw nothing… nothing like what happened at Aqabarb… the new gewehrs,” he began shaking his head, “they are nothing… nothing like what they had before. Nothing!”
“Gewehrs?” Cadence stood, recognizing the G syllable.
“Yes.”
“Under officer Mido, would you be willing to do a security mind read? It’s just sharing memories.”
“Even I don’t want to remember.”
Cadence smiled gently. “Under officer, the other three princesses and I just did a mental deep dive on a dark mage of all beings,” she chuckled the last words. “I think we can survive whatever you saw,” she said confidently.
“Ok,” he closed his eyes. “Poke my brain.”
“It will be done by Princess Luna,” she said gently.
“I’m not leaving the embassy,” he stumbled back. “I’ll die!”
“We can teleport you directly to the palace. And now that we have visited, we can teleport you back to this very room.”
“No windows. And as many walls as possible. They have kugel that can go through walls.”
“Kurel?”
“Umm, rusaas. The piece of lead that shoots out like an arrow from a bow.”
“Our word is rasaasa,” Raheen said.
“We have heard the word ball for the projectile.”
Mido tittered through his teeth. “Balls? Where are you getting your info, the Golden Herd? That is over a century old technology. A kurel is a pointed cylinder. Much more accurate and deadly. Naked ones expand inside and destroy everything. Vollmantelgeschoss are coated in copper. It slows the expansion so it goes deeper, like walls...” he started to tremble, “or other corpses you hide behind.”
“We will teleport you deep inside the palace,” she said comfortingly, “then directly back to this room.”
“How long will this take?”
“Mind walking only takes a few minutes. But it will feel much longer as we will be seeing your memories as you experienced them in real time.”
“Ok, but directly back into this room.”
“Of course.”
~~***~~
Twilight was still pouting next to the fountain.
Cadence stuck her head out of the door. “Twilie! Get in here!”
Twilight shot up startled. She spun around. “Yes!” she shouted as she scrambled to the door.
“(So that is an elegant Equestrian princess,)” one guard snarked quietly to his neighbor.
Multiple snickers happened across the courtyard.
“(Guess everyhorse is thinking the same thing,)” his neighbor whispered back.
~~***~~
“What the hay happened to you?!” Twilight shouted immediately after entering the room.
“Twilight!” Cadence shouted.
“I survived,” Mido said, his voice quivering and high pitched. “And I was promised you would keep me that way.”
“He was also shot by griffons,” Cadence said. “YOU, need to teleport us to the safest, deepest part of the castle.”
“Wait, you mean like the dungeons?”
“What?!”
“NO. Twilight. Think, for Celestia's sake.”
“I am! The crystal dungeon is the safest, deepest part.”
“We have foreign embassy staff!” Cadence pointed at Mido. “And you want to take him to a dungeon?”
“Yes.”
Cadence facehooved, “How about the safest, deepest part of the castle that doesn’t look like we are kidnapping and arresting a foreign national.”
“Why would anyone think that? That doesn’t make sense!”
“I would think that,” Mido said.
“Agreed,” Rasheed said, standing. “And now I insist on going as well. Unless you want me to alert my brother of an abduction.”
“That doesn’t make any sense!” She raised a hoof at them. “Neither of you are making any sense!”
Rasheed walked over to the drapes. “Fatima!”
“Yes?”
“Send an emergency scroll to my brother that I’ve been abducted by the princess if I do not return in one hour!”
“What?!”
“Do it, broodmare!” he shouted. Then he placed his hoof over Mido’s shoulder.
“Take us to Princess Celestia herself,” he ordered.
~~***~~
Back at the castle, Celestia and Luna are in her bed eating cupcakes and drinking coffee made from a surprise stash the kitchen staff kept for themselves of Eternal Sunshine. Celestia is in her wedding veil and wearing her horn ring and showing Luna the albums and sharing stories.
Suddenly four beings teleport into the room.
Celestia screamed.
Luna blasted her horn.
Twilight blocked it.
“Why are you in my bedroom?!” Celestia shouted.
Cadence went to speak.
“Why are you wearing a vei— IS THAT A WEDDING RING?!” Twilight pointed.
~~***~~
Luna handled Cadence and the visitors while Twilight had her bubble burst.
“You’re not a virgin?”
“No, Twilight,” Celestia sighed.
“You’re married?”
“Widowed, multiple times, and many others never married,” she said, poofing her veil and ring away. “I was sharing stories with Luna of the ones she missed when you teleported into my bed.”
“Do you have kids?”
“I’ve never carried a foal, no.”
“Sister,” Luna stuck her head back behind the screen. “This felis is a deserter and was shot over multiple attempts by the griffons. He’s a gun soldier and is here for a mind read.”
“That is good to hear, Luna.” She looked back at Twilight. “Good job, Twilight.”
“Prince Rasheed wants to talk to you before we start the dream walk. We’re going to teleport to medical and get everyone ready in the meantime.”
Luna lit her horn and vanished.
Celestia walked out from behind the screen. “I personally apologize for this awkward situation. I hope this little incident can be kept between us.”
“Gladly,” he smiled, “But may we talk alone.”
Celestia nodded gracefully, “Of course.” She raised her head. “Cadence, Twilight, please escort our other guest to the hallway.”
Mido ducked under Rasheed. “I would rather stay with Prince Rasheed.
Celestia looked at Rasheed.
“I approve.”
“Alright then,” she smiled. “Cadence, Twilight, step outside for a moment.”
“Yes, Princess Celestia,” Twilight said eagerly and quickly left.
Cadence made eye contact and mouthed, “this is bad,” exaggerating the word bad, before leaving.
Celestia turned to Rasheed. “So,” she hid her worry behind a fake smile. “What is it you would like to discuss?”
~~***~~
Twilight sat outside chatting with the guards, with Cadence hoping she doesn’t say anything important.
Suddenly Celestia stuck her head out. “Cadence, come in here for a moment,” she said sweetly.
Twilight stood.
“No, Twilight.” Celestia said before she could speak. “Just Cadence. Your time will come.”
Twilight sat back down, chest out like a proud dog. “Yes, princess.”
She watched Cadence disappear with a big smile.
~~***~~
“So you confirm everything the prince said?” Celestia facehooved.
“Unfortunately, I have more to report once Prince Rasheed and Mido are returned.”
Celestia took a deep breath. “I am… so sorry. I had no idea my student had such a lack of skills.”
“I would believe a being such as yourself would be keenly aware that friendship has nothing to do with diplomacy. Friendship is not even universal. Disparate cultures have very different rules and customs concerning personal interactions that have nothing to do with Equestrian norms and morals. Some are even the exact opposite.”
Celestia hung her head slightly. “Yes… Yes of course,” she nodded.
She suddenly lifted her head. “I need to tell Luna of the time restraint,” Celestia said. “Cadence, watch over our guests for a moment.”
She teleported away.
Cadence smiled, turning to them. “Please, come sit at the waiting table. Would you like some coffee or cupcakes?”
~~***~~
Celestia appeared in Vegeta’s room.
“Vegeta and Discord are sleeping and ready to go.” Luna smiled, “Vegeta was very accepting of the spell.”
“Luna, brace yourself. Twilight has majorly bucked up.”
…
“She did not want to teleport to the dungeons?!”
“She did.”
“Does she have no common sense?!”
“Apparently not.”
Luna looked at the clock, “46 minutes. Let’s lay them down.”
Celestia extended her hoof as Luna lit her horn. “Not. Twilight.”
~~***~~
“Why not me?!” Twilight whined.
“We are on a time restraint. Please zap Luna’s horn in a steady rhythm 20 minutes from now if we have not returned yet.”
“Princess Celestia, may I stay out as well?” Cadence asked.
“You may stay with Twilight if you wish.”
“Thank you, princess,” Cadence bowed her head.
“Alright,” Luna poofed a bunch of floor pillows and laid them down. “Please lay down so we can cast the spell.”
Celestia did as an example. “Make yourself comfortable,” she said before laying her head down.
Prince Rasheed laid down next. “You may lean against me if that makes you feel safer, Mido. You are the priority here. Not my dignity.”
Mido cautiously crawled on the pillows. Rasheed picked him up by his shirt with his teeth to help him.
“I think this is good,” Mido said, curling up between Rasheed and Celestia.
“Then let us begin.” Luna flashed her horn.
~~***~~
The group came to a white flat plane in all directions.
“This is a blank dreamscape,” Luna said. “There will be no outside influence other than what you will Mi—”
Suddenly a familiar door appeared.
“Thou could have waited…” Luna grumbled and opened the door.
Vegeta had his fist raised to knock.
“Welcome, Vegeta.”
“You seem miffed,” Discord said, poking his head in.
“Vegeta…” Luna glared.
“Nope, I invaded his white space,” Discord said teleporting in. “All he did was the door.”
“Let’s get this over with,” Vegeta said walking in, pink shirt and yellow pants on full display.
“Buddhas are real?!”
“Holy fuck, it’s a Thousand and One Arabian Nights all up in here.”
“Vegeta, please watch your mouth,” Celestia scolded.
“Vegeta,” Rasheed’s eyes widened, “as in the dark mage?”
Vegeta crossed his arms. “I don’t bite unless you give me a reason to.”
“Vegeta,” Celestia scolded. She turned to Rasheed and Mido. “We’ve discovered our kingdoms are ancient allies from the time of Starswirl the Bearded. The only harm has been on our end. He has done nothing but be kind.”
“Then the story that you almost died saving Lady Pinkie Pie is true?” Mido said, peeking out from behind Rasheed.
“Yep, I royally fucked myself over as only the Prince of all Saiyans is capable of.”
“Vegeta,” Celestia said frustrated.
“Is that a nickname or title?” Mido asked.
“Title. I am technically royalty,” he turned and smirked at Celestia, “As someone keeps reminding me to behave.”
“Technically?” Rasheed asked.
“I ran off with a commoner of another species. I was Crown Prince of all Saiyans when I met her.”
“Love at first sight?” Mido asked.
“No, we were at war at the time. Tried to kill her.”
“Vegeta,” Celestia stomped her hoof.
He sidestepped behind Discord.
He teleported away. “Don’t get me involved.”
“Can ye all stop acting like foals,” Luna said. “We have a time limit.”
Vegeta crossed his arms and looked out at the white space. “Sorry…” he muttered.
“I did not hear you, what was that?” Celestia smiled.
“We art talking to thou too, Sister,” Luna said angrily. “Stop picking on each other. Ye both act like little siblings fighting in the back of a wagon.”
“No we don’t,” they said at the exact same time.
“Discord,” Luna glared.
Discord grew a second head. “I wasn’t going to say jinx,” one said as the other whistled.
Mido covered his mouth to stifle a giggle.
Vegeta surprised everyone by kneeling down. “So, you must be the man of the hour. Judging by the fact you have something resembling hands. Your name, warrior?”
Mido slid even more under Rasheed than he was.
Vegeta pointed at him, then moved his hand.
Mido suddenly was yanked out from under Rasheed and was sat down in the open.
“I said, what is your name, soldier,” he said, standing up and crossing his arms.
“Vegeta, please stop using your powers to interfere with the dreamplane,” Luna scolded. “This is our pony show.”
Vegeta raised his hands and took a large step back. “Ok. Mea culpa.”
“I,” Rasheed took a step forward, “am Prince Rasheed. Full blood brother of the Sultan of Saddle Arabia.”
Mido’s servant clothes changed to a uniform.
Vegeta recognized the black cross and the pointy helmet from history documentaries.
Celestia and Luna were looking at the metal and wood stick with an offset stiletto dagger on the tip he was holding at attention like a spear.
He saluted. “Unteroffizier Mido al-Qitt of the 5th Hawara Midfa battalion.”
“Can you explain what that means? Word by word,” Celestia asked.
“Unteroffizier is my rank. After the treaty 30 years ago with the empire, the Feligypt Malmuks adopted griffon military structure, training and weaponry. Hawara is a scouting unit. Midfa is our word for Gewehr.”
“And that is a ‘gewehr’?”
“Yes.” He presented arms, “This type of feuerwaffe is called a gewehr.”
“Fire weapon?”
“I think that’s the Equestrian translation, yes.”
“There are many versions?”
The white plane began to darken.
“Yes…”
Luna lit her horn and dispelled the encircling storm.
“And that is called fear…” Vegeta said, looking around. He looked back at Mido, and noticed his arm recover from becoming partially transparent.
“You're missing a limb, soldier.”
“How?” Mido took a step back.
“Your arm was transparent for a moment.”
Mido clenched his gun and pointed it shakily at Vegeta.
The ground began to tremble.
“Luna, wait…” Vegeta said as she lit her horn.
Vegeta took off his pink shirt.
Even though they had seen it before, Celestia, Luna and Discord gagged with Rasheed.
Mido's eyes widened and he lowered his rifle slightly.
Vegeta pointed at a circle indented scar in the middle of his chest.
He tapped it. “I see you recognize this.”
“How… Is your heart not in that location?”
“No it is. I’m here because of damn luck. I have no logical reason to be alive. A complete freak accident in my favor.” Vegeta knelt down to be eye level again. “I know what it's like to bleed out on the battlefield. To have your breaths full of your own blood instead of air. For the darkness to swallow your eyes. To feel cold. To know you’re not coming back.”
“I am also missing a limb.” Suddenly a fuzzy tail came out of his pants. He rubbed it lovingly, “I lost it to a sword, over 30 years ago.” He spun around. His back was blurry, but there was an image of a scar floating around his lower back. “Sword strike to my back. Went right through my armor, my tail, and sliced a vertebra. Less than a hair’s width more and I would be permanently paralyzed.” He spun back around and his tail vanished.
“A tail is not an arm.”
“A saiyan’s tail is fully prehensile. I used to have three hands. Now I have two. And it was hard to adjust, as I know it has been hard for you.”
“You mean like a monkey?”
Vegeta gave the most obvious fake smile in the galaxy, “Monkey is a racial slur for my kind. Do not repeat it again.”
“Yes, sire!” Mido jumped to attention.
“Our enemy has almost killed a friend of mine, and are using their allies to blame an innocent unicorn.” He touched the tip of the bayonet, “And because guns like this were completely unknown in this country until I recognized the hole in her chest, they have an iron clad case.” He ran his finger up and down the blade, “I cannot tell the world these exist. I am the epitome of evil after all. No one will trust me, even with the princesses’ backing. We are already preparing for riots once that gets out, not if.”
Celestia pressed her lips together not to scream at him.
“You are the witness we need. Cadence and Twilight have been running from embassy to embassy looking for someone, anyone who could help. Who would be believable. And they found you.”
He extended his hand, “Help us expose these murderers for what they are, and their infernal machines of death. Help save this unicorn, his wife, and his newborn. They are all going to die if you don’t help us.”
Mido looked up. “Even a kitten?”
“Yes,” Luna jumped in. “They are already about to be sold to a known serial killer and pedophile in the nobility. But the nobles have arranged everything so that any intervention will be us breaking the law, not them.”
Celestia puffed out her cheeks.
He clenched his rifle to his chest. “And these nobles are allies to the griffons?”
“Yes,” Vegeta said. “In fact, Pinkie was not the target, but the father. Pinkie spotted the griffon, guessed it was a weapon, and pushed him out of the way.”
He started to shake. “A kitten? All of this because a noble wants to use a kitten?”
Vegeta poofed four familiar pieces of paper. He gave them to Mido.
He looked over the autopsy papers. “What are these?”
“Celestia’s heart.”
They suddenly burst into flames. Along with her mane and tail. “Vegeta! Leave him out of this!”
Suddenly a huge bucket of water appeared and emptied onto her.
Celestia blew her mane out of her eyes, turned, and glared at Discord.
He lowered his snapped fingers behind his back.
Mido looked at Celestia, understanding something.
Celestia took a deep breath and spread her wings to scream.
“Crown Princess Celestia…”
She stopped to look at him.
He held his rifle vertically in front of him. “When I took my oath, it was to defend the life of the river from the deserts of the dead. I swore to defend life.”
Suddenly a wall of light spread out from him, and they found themselves standing in sand, surrounded by marching cats and drunken griffons.
“I will keep my oath. And I will be your revenge from your gilded dungeon.”
Chapter 26: Mirrored History
Chapter 26: Mirrored History
(Warning: Miscarrage/Stillbirth)
“This… was our camp before launching the attack. The day before…” Mido trailed off.
“It’s ok Mido,” Luna said, leaning her head down. “We can easily spend days in here and it be only a few minutes outside. Take your tim— Vegeta?! Where art thou going?”
Vegeta ran off after the marching column of Felis. He caught up to them and began jogging backwards next to them. He pointed at them and moved his finger up and down.
Then Vegeta repeated the same motion with another group of Felis before standing in the camp fire, slowly turning and examining each drunk griffon carefully one by one.
Everyone had turned to watch him.
“Vegeta, what are you doing?” Celestia called out.
Vegeta jerked his head at the shout, then ran back.
“Warrior!” he shouted as he came back. He knelt in front of him and drew a symbol in the sand. “Do you know what this is?”
“Isn’t that the Buddha symbol?” Prince Rasheed said, looking over Mido.
“Did I draw it backwards?” Vegeta quickly altered it.
“I did not know the direction mattered,” Rasheed said. He tilted his head to look at Mido. “Have you seen this in the gryphon empire?”
“I remember a museum piece or two as part of history classes as part of our training. It’s an old symbol from before the fall of the Western Roaman Empire.”
“So it hasn’t been resurrected in any meaningful way in the modern day?”
He shook his head confused.
He drew two faces and pointed between them. “And this type of mustache? Not the huge ones everyone seems to be wearing?”
“I think that small one looks absolutely ridiculous,” Mido said.
“Ok…” Vegeta sighed relieved, putting his hand on his chest, “That’s good to know…”
“What is this about,” Rasheed glared at Vegeta.
Vegeta stood. “Our planets are tidally locked through time. Meaning despite some differences due to supposedly free will, we are identical. History. Cultures. Languages. Everything I’ve rattled off, the princesses have found mirrored copies of. It’s how they were able to trace what to them is a completely unknown weapon in just a few hours.”
“Vegeta! Stop blabbing,” Celestia scolded.
Luna sighed and took a step forward. “Vegeta is correct. Our worlds are twins through space and time, even though there is one major difference.”
“Which is?” Mido asked cautiously.
“We have no magic,” Vegeta said coldly. “So we are far more advanced.” He pointed at the griffons, “German Empire,” at Mido, “Egypt,” at Rasheed, “Saudi Arabia,” at Celestia, “Either the United Kingdom or the United States.” He raised his hand gesturing to the scene, “The uniforms, gun-tech, hair styles, complete absence of that,” he pointed at the sand before erasing it with his foot. “Which I will not explain.” He lowered his arm, “All of this was 500 years ago for us. The dawn of the 20th century. 200 years before unification.”
“Was ther…there a war?” he stuttered.
“Yes,” he answered honestly, “A bad one.”
Mido looked down.
“Why are you hanging your head?” Vegeta raised his fist to shoulder height, “I say fuck destiny and let’s get this started. I’ll strangle fate to death myself to stop history from repeating.”
Discord jumped in the air joyfully, arms high and wide, fluttering his wings, “And that’s why you’re my favorite kind of Chaos. You have the power to actually do it!”
Vegeta looked over his shoulder at Discord and gave a grin that stopped Mido and Rasheed cold. “And if fate still demands blood, I’ll rip its tribute from the griffons’ feathers.”
“Vegeta, watch your face,” Celestia scolded him again.
“What?!” Vegeta turned to her exasperated. He pointed at his head with both hands. “This is my face. I only have one face.”
“Let’s just calm down, siblings,” Discord said. “Be annoying later.”
“Our apologies, Prince Rasheed,” Luna said. “Their personalities bring out the worst in each other.” She looked down at Mido. “Mido, please begin the tour.”
“Yes, the weapons cache is over there. I did not pick up anything though.”
“If thou have held or seen it being used, we will be able to interact with it,” she said calmly.
They walked to a set of tents. There were many rifles leaned against each other like teepee poles.
Vegeta stopped and looked at them.
Mido noticed he had stopped walking first and turned around halting the others. “Yes?”
“These all have wooden stocks,” he said, squatting down. “The ones I saw related to the incident were solid metal.”
“Oh, yes. The newest models of feuerwaffe are saved for griffons only. We are basically given overstock, but it’s still the most advanced weapons in the world minus the empire. I assume for the death papers you’re talking about a sturmgewehr? There are some in here.”
“Alright,” Vegeta said standing. Then something caught his eye. “What the fuck is that Roman legion cosplayer?” he said pointing.
Mido looked. “Oh, he’s a noble. After Celestia destroyed the previous northern empire almost to a feather, the Lombirds and Ostrogriffons of the south took control over northern griffon lands. The nobles and empirical family are all direct descendants. They are more Roaman than the horses of Bitaly and see themselves as the true heirs of the old empire and civilization itself. Unteroffizier and every rank below comes from the lower language and is the highest a peasant can rise in the army without a patron. And the highest a non-griffon can rise period.”
“So, you are a very important man?” Vegeta looked down at him.
“Yes… … I was…” Mido answered after a long pause.
“Take us to the tent,” he ordered.
Mido and Vegeta entered, but Rasheed raised his hoof, stopping the princesses and Discord.
“You seem to be allowing the dark mage to take an unhealthy lead.”
“Which is why we have been looking so desperately for other sources for the same information,” Celestia said.
“He said this was 500 years in the past for him. Meaning he claims to know the future?”
“History does not repeat, but it often rhymes,” Celestia said. “While insight is valuable, we will not be blinded by easy answers in the upcoming conflict.”
“I wasn’t lying about Vegeta being capable of killing Fate,” Discord said. “Even I couldn’t do it.”
“That… wasn’t a metaphor, was it?” Rasheed asked.
“Nope,” he said before turning to Celestia, “And no,” he said harshly, “Fate is not the spirit who keeps sneaking into the palace and punching me in the face. I haven’t seen that red suited reindeer and his three daughters in eons.”
Rasheed tried to say something, but he just clicked his teeth shut.
“Hey Discord! Get your ass in here so you know what to look for on your next spy mission!”
Celestia’s feathers unconsciously puffed up.
“Sister… breathe…” Luna said, putting her wing over Celestia’s back.
~~***~~
The group entered the tent.
Vegeta was holding a familiar looking object. He removed it from his shoulder. “The butt is definitely not meant for a straight shoulder, but not uncomfortable.” He then played with the safety and the top pull to expel stuck casings.
“Yes, the stocks do need to be modified before being gifted to us.” Mido said, “You are familiar with feuerwaffe?”
“I’m a Ki master. My wife is the ballistic expert. But I’ve been dragged to shooting ranges enough.”
He looked disturbed at the weapon.
“Either humans were more advanced than I thought at the time, humans suddenly lost all imagination afterwards, or griffons are smarter than humans… well, normal humans…”
“Are you alright, Vegeta?” Luna asked.
“Yeah…” he said. He walked over to Discord. “Get a good look at this crap this time,” he said, handing it to him.
Discord immediately looked down the barrel.
Vegeta ripped it away from him, “Are you trying to kill yourself?! That’s the killing part you just stuck to your eye!”
“Well how am I supposed to know that, smart guy?” he said, crossing his arms.
“But we’re dreaming. It’s perfectly safe, right?”
“Yes, Mido. Vegeta is just reacting out of instinct,” Luna said. “Vegeta calm down, this is a learning experience.”
Vegeta balled his fists; the only reason the gun survived was the dreamscape. “I’ve already almost lost one friend to a gun on this planet. I don’t want a second, third or anyone else!”
“Which is why we are here,” Celestia said. “Mido, if you will explain what these are.”
“Ah, yes! What Vegeta is holding is a sturmgewehr. While normal gewehr only shoot one, what he calls a bullet, at a time, it is ‘automatic’. Meaning once started, it shoots nonstop until you stop it or it runs out of bullets.”
“My language it’s called an assault rifle,” Vegeta added.
“There are multiple kinds,” Mido said. “There are multiple manufacturers.”
Celestia picked one up in her magic, “It must take many skilled craft artisans to make so many.”
“Yes, I’m sure the machinists in the factories are very proud of their work,” Mido said.
“Why do I smell a misunderstanding?” Vegeta thought.
“What’s next?” she asked.
“Well, let me find other gewehrs in the piles.” Mido began climbing over boxes looking inside. “Here’s the new Eff-Gee,” he said, jumping down with a gun in each hand, “I don’t know what it is short for. And this is the Em-On. It’s the replacement of our karebines you saw us marching with.
Vegeta grabbed the FG and again looked it over. “Fuck it… these birds are good.” Vegeta held it out and Luna took it in her magic. “Next,” he ordered.
Vegeta almost instantly dropped it.
He took a step back.
“Vegeta, you’re frightened. What’s wrong?” Celestia demanded.
“That’s… a goddess damn M1 Garand. Perfect clone minus the shoulder butt. My wife has a replica. Taught me to shoot with it.”
“And the significance?”
Vegeta looked up from the ground. “The M1 is from a later war, and created by one of the allied nations that destroyed the German empire. I knew this wasn’t going to be a one-to-one copy of World War I,” he looked back down, “but… World War II or even later? This is a huge mismatch of technology. Easily a 100 year gap from what Discord showed me.”
“100 years does not sound worth panicking over.”
“Says the immortal!”
“Enough!” Celestia shouted. “History does not repeat. It only rhymes. The only thing that has happened is YOUR assumptions on what the griffons are capable of is wrong. That has no effect on us who are seeing this with fresh, untainted eyes.” Celestia moved her head, “Go wait outside the tent. That’s an order.”
Vegeta sighed and walked out.
Discord put his talon behind his back. One of the fingers popped off and he grew a new one. The tour continued as the finger wormed away.
Another Discord popped into existence outside the tent. He looked around and spotted Vegeta running away. Discord teleported next to him a few moments before Vegeta slammed face first into an invisible wall.
“Son of a…” Vegeta cursed as he fell to his knees grabbing his nose.
“Seems we reached the end of his knowledge.”
Vegeta looked up and noticed Discord for the first time.
“Why aren’t you in the tent?!”
“I split myself, don’t worry.”
Vegeta sighed and slipped onto his butt. “You can split form. Good to know.” He pulled his knees up and rested his arms on his knees.
Discord sat down next to him. “So, why are you all the way over here?”
“Chasing after that legionnaire. They’re in charge. So they are the ones I need to check.”
“From what I saw putting you back together, it takes a lot for you to react like that. What’s so seriously wrong?”
“The M1 is from World War 2. The same war those drawings were from. If things are appearing from that war, and history only rhymes, then asking about those specific symbols means nothing. I need to check… I need to know… because it changes everything.”
Discord noticed his shaking fists.
“This world doesn’t deserve it. Fuck you Shen Long…”
“Yeah, yeah, innocent little foal story,” Discord said sarcastically. “But still,” he said with a softer tone, “What’s wrong?”
Vegeta sighed and turned his head away. “Do… you know what genocide is?”
“I’ve never heard that word before.”
“Figured…”
Discord was about to speak after the long pause, but Vegeta continued on his own.
“How about extinction?”
Discord’s ears fell. “I don’t like where this is going.”
“World War 1, the war I thought we were heading towards, was a war of empires and ego. A fall equal to its height. World War 2 was a war of revenge and extinction just two decades later, on an industrial scale. Huge factories dedicated to solely killing tens of thousands of war prisoners a day, for years. And when the war turned, and the nations saw what happened to the innocent civilians of their now completely empty conquered lands, it was returned in kind. Like I said before, destroyed the German empire.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it,” Discord said. “Griffons historically enslaved and ate other races, especially ponies and horses. And ponies still disappear in Prance and Trottingham prior to major holidays. It’s in the back of everyone’s minds.”
Vegeta whimpered and looked up.
“Celestia has dealt with this before. She will do it again.”
“But there are anti-magic weapons now. Maybe even armor. They’ve been preparing for this a long time.”
“And we have you and your friends now. None of what they have can stop ki right?”
“No.” Vegeta looked back at the ground. “Any armor that can protect against ki can barely be made on Earth today and the cost of hundreds of millions of zeni, and mass production is a pipe dream. Only magic has half a prayer of doing anything against ki in this circumstance, and it needs to be highly specialized.”
“Then we’re fine. Plus, there’s the resurrection you’re planning.”
Vegeta did not respond.
“I may be a clueless former cartoon villain,” Discord said, “But I know what mourning is. You’re mourning the image you had of us, and you’re thinking about your daughter and her image of us.”
“You’re not as clueless as you pretend.”
“I am Discord. But I’m also a spirit. Most ponies don’t quite get the concept.”
Vegeta side-eyed him for a while.
“Would you like to hear about my friend Piccolo?”
“Oh, do tell.”
~~***~~
The group walked out of the tent, and were greeted by the other group walking up. The two Discords waved at each other as Rasheed and Mido rapidly looked between the two. Celestia and Luna looked annoyed.
Vegeta’s Discord snapped his fingers and vanished while the other Discord hunched forward slightly and looked confused for a moment.
“Buddy!” Discord suddenly shouted jumping in the air. He then popped next to Vegeta, wrapped his arms around him like a snake, lifted him up and started hopping foot to foot.
“Didn’t we already do this?” Vegeta looked away, visibly frustrated and blushing.
“Never hurts to do it again.”
“Boys…” Celestia’s eyes twitched.
Discord dropped him.
Vegeta landed on his feet.
“So what’s next on the agenda?”
“We will be progressing through his memories, stopping as needed,” Luna said.
“Remember I don’t speak Germa—er, Griffon, whatever.”
“We will translate as needed,” Celestia gave a curt smile. “Mido, take us to the first memory you want to show us.”
“It-it happened over there,” he pointed.
Discord leaned down. “He couldn’t visualize it on his own,” he whispered to Vegeta.
The group walked towards the drinking griffons.
Suddenly Discord stopped and began hopping on one foot. “What did I just step in? Yuck…”
Celestia lowered her head. “Smells a little like raw griffon fire,” Celestia lifted her head and put her hoof over her nose, “but definitely distinct.” She lit her horn and it disappeared.
Celestia then noticed everyone watching Vegeta, who was on his knees in the sand. He then stood, measured the distance between where he knelt and the thin black line, hopped over it and began looking at the ground at the same distance.
Celestia rolled her eyes, “I’m sure whatever wagon tracks you’ve discovered are fascinating. But we have other more pressing matters.”
“Says the woman who fell on her ass seeing my motorcycle.”
“Motor… cycle…” Mido muttered. “Do you me—”
“Mido,” Rasheed stopped him. “As much as Princess Luna says it will not matter in the dreamscape, we still are on a time limit in the real world. Let’s not waste time.”
“Yes, sire.”
The group followed Mido until he stopped. “He-here…”
“We are ready when you are,” Luna said sweetly. “Close your eyes, and think just like we said in the tent.”
Mido closed his eyes.
He began to cry when he heard the voices, but kept his eyes closed.
The new Mido was chatting with another Felis.
“Ahmed, I’m sorry…” he muttered.
The drunk griffons from before walked up to them.
“They are not in the same uniforms I’ve seen so far,” Vegeta said.
“Hessians. Mercenaries, in Equestrian,” Mido said. “Minus the Centurion instructor and his entourage, every griffon you’ll see will have nonstandard kit.”
Mido and Ahmed stepped aside and bowed, but the griffons went out of their way to shove them to the ground. They held them down, spit on them, insulted them while playing with the gorget hanging from their necks.
“Our gorgets have a wind talisman embedded. SchieBpulver creates a large amount of smoke that can blind a battlefield with fog in just a few volleys. Using magic in the empire is frowned upon and even outlawed in many cases if there is a viable alternative, so our wind talismans make us targets for harassment.”
“That is quite hypocritical. They must use their own powers to dispel the smoke if it’s that bad,” Celestia said.
“Some kind of powder with less smoke has just been invented, hasn’t it?” Vegeta cut off Mido’s answer.
“Yes… I think it’s called SchieBbaumwolle. Just a small white puff… I did not know it existed until the battle.”
Vegeta smirked at the annoyed Celestia.
A legionnaire suddenly landed shouting. After briefly shouting at the griffons, he became aggressive with Mido and Ahmed, picking them up and shoving them off.
Neither spoke as they hurried away.
Discord leaned down. “They were told to keep their mouths shut and the birds were told to watch what they say until after the battle.”
While Mido continued the vision, Vegeta suddenly walked over to the group.
“Vegeta, what do you want?” Celestia asked.
Vegeta glanced at her and stopped next to Rasheed. “I have a question,” he said, motioning him to lower his head.
He did and Vegeta whispered in his ear. “This cat unit was eliminated after the fact? This sounds like a covert weapons test with plausible deniability with the mercenaries.”
Rasheed's eyes widened and looked at him. “You predicted that already?” he mouthed.
Vegeta could not lip read a horse, but his eyes told him he was right.
“I’ll assume the cat doesn’t know and won’t mention it,” Vegeta whispered back before returning to Discord.
Rasheed kept a close eye on Vegeta and Discord the rest of the time. They seemed to have hand signals between them. He did not know what holding one or two digits up meant, but the more Vegeta held up two fingers, the more frustrated he got.
And the more color drained from Discord’s fur.
~~***~~
“This is a very small camp,” Celestia said, “No more than 300 beings.”
While they spoke, Vegeta examined a lamp hanging from a stick.
“What’s so interesting?” Discord asked, leaning in. “The funny shap— That doesn’t smell right. It’s not vegetable oil.”
“I think it’s kerosene,” Vegeta whispered.
“Dietz,” Discord read the letters on the lamp. “That the craftsman’s mark?”
“You’re fucking kidding,” Vegeta said loudly. “That’s what those symbols say?”
Everyone turned to look at them.
“Forget them for a moment,” Celestia said. “You were about to say?”
“358,” Mido said. “My unit of 100 and 250 Hessians. Eight others are the centurion trainer and his staff, but they did not fight.”
“You said you were a scouting unit, correct?” Luna asked.
“Yes.”
“Did you ever visit the main camp?” Luna asked.
“This… was the camp. This is all we had.”
Celestia looked at Rasheed. “Are you saying a city twice the size of Ponyville was taken by 350 soldiers?”
“How big is Ponyville?” Vegeta whispered.
“Just under two thousand,” Discord whispered back.
Rasheed bristled. “Yes…” he said reluctantly. “Most of our forces were at Sharm el-Shagya, but there was still a garrison of 1,896. Or at least that was the number of severed heads delivered to the Sultan.”
“A battle of 5 to 1. How many mages?”
“Papers say 300 battle mages were deployed there at the time of the battle.”
Celestia looked at Mido, “How many did you lose?”
“No casualties. It… was a massacre. Less than an hour, maybe even half an hour…”
“Nearly two thousand of the finest Arabian horses wiped out in less than thirty minutes?”
“Most… probably…”
Vegeta noticed his arm become transparent again. Then it vanished, and to Vegeta’s surprise, a leg.
Vegeta caught Mido as he dropped the rifle and toppled over.
“I see you have lost much more than I thought.” Vegeta placed him on a bipedal chair that wasn’t there a moment earlier. “Just rest and calm yourself,” he said, staying kneeled next to him to stay closer to eye level.
He glanced over him, “Do you have prosthetics or are you wheelchair bound?”
“I have a wooden peg leg and a crutch,” Mido hung his head.
Vegeta gave Rasheed the side eye, “You serve royalty but that’s all you’re provided? I’ve seen some pretty advanced shit in Equestria.”
“It’s not his fault!” Mido jumped to his defense. “Ponies can power their limbs through their own magic, other races need crystals, and those are expensive and need constantly recharged by a mage. And I’m a bipedal. Even griffons can’t recreate their claws, what chance does a bipedal have?”
Vegeta gave an obvious fake smile, sending chills down his and Rasheed’s spines.
“Well,” Vegeta said, barely hiding his rage. “Lucky for you, in the rest of the galaxy the dominant blueprint is bipedal. In fact, out of the thousands of planets I’ve visited, this is the first time I’ve even heard of a quadruped reaching sapience. When this fuckery is over, I’m going to get you something proper if you’re willing.”
“But… I’m a Felis. Not whatever you are…”
Vegeta looked at his remaining arm. “Well, the basic joints look the same. My wife could have a prototype 3D printed in a couple hours after an exam. And feet only really need to look like feet for clothing sake. A lot of people will choose spring blades for ease of movement. And something tells me you’re not the vain type.”
Mido sat straight and smiled.
“And who will do repairs once you’re gone?” Rasheed glared.
Mido deflated and hung his head.
“What? Do you think we’re just going to walk away once things are resolved?” Vegeta glared back. “Sorry Bud, this planet is in it for the long haul.” Then he smiled, menacingly. “Maybe we can even put the embassy right next to yours?”
“Enough, Vegeta,” Celestia said. “Mido is crying now.”
Vegeta looked back at the cat.
He took off his helmet and rubbed his eyes. “I’m not scared, princess. *sniff* ”
Vegeta’s heart quietly dropped when Mido’s arm phased through one of his ears.
~~***~~
After a short break, Mido stood again, limbs returned.
“Are you ready to continue?” Luna asked.
“Yes…” he answered. Then he looked up at Vegeta, who had just stood himself. “If the prince would stand next to me, support me,” he hesitated. “Hold my paw?”
Vegeta walked around to the other side, braced Mido against himself with a side hug, and took his real paw.
“Don’t hesitate. I’m right here. And I’ve seen war like this before, don’t worry about me. This is about you.”
“Ok… I think I should show you this battlefield in daylight.”
It was suddenly midday. While everyone blinked, Celestia and Luna took to the air. There was distortion because he had not seen things from this angle, but the placement was mostly sound.
They landed.
“You are west of the city?” Celestia asked. “The valley road is a much more defensible position with the cliffs. You are completely exposed here.”
“That was the point,” Mido said. “This was a trap. We looked stupid, helpless. A few dozen Felis and a bunch of drunken griffons. Everything about us was meant to be seen and draw them out. We are about 5 miles away. Too close to not go after, but also too far to retreat in time.”
Celestia looked over the completely flat, open, and cracked desert plain. “How is this a trap?”
“The weapons,” Vegeta said. “It’s not a war crime the first time.”
“War… crime?” Rasheed said.
“Deeds so horrible that the victor has the right to try, imprison and execute individuals who committed the acts. And just following orders is not a defense.”
“That would assume that is not the normal course of action to begin with,” Rasheed said, eyeing him suspiciously.
Vegeta sighed, annoyed. “Well… that concept didn’t really exist until World War I anyway… This planet hasn’t pissed itself over its own depravity yet.”
Vegeta felt Mido grip his hand tighter.
Vegeta moved his hand from his waist and rubbed his back. “It’ll be fine. Take your time. We’re ready when you are.”
Mido took a deep breath. Then everything went black.
A wave of drowsiness washed over them, felt them being shaken and talked to.
The scene became visible as Mido opened his eyes and pulled his knife from under his pillow.
He quickly dropped it. “(Cornicen! My apologies.)”
“(I would be more disappointed if a Unteroffizier didn’t draw his claws upon waking. The lookout has spotted an illusion wall in front of the city gates. Start slipping in between tents to get your men ready for the horn blast.)”
“(Yes, sir.)”
The griffon disappeared and the first thing he did was grab a pair of goggles and put them around his neck.
Mido began going from tent to tent, sending his subordinates around to speed up the process. Soon he was back in his tent and put his jacket, boots, and bullet satchel on. He had his helmet next to him on the cot and stared down at his pocket watch.
The face was glowing to Vegeta’s surprise.
“(Dawn in thirty minutes…)” he muttered.
~~***~~
The darkness vanished like a switch the second the clock hand hit the hour and red tinted light entered the tent. He put his watch away and grabbed his helmet.
Soon the warning horn blared and Mido ran from the tent.
In what looked like it had been practiced hundreds of times, the cats grabbed their rifles and lined up perfectly on the outside of camp. The griffons, surprisingly competent for the amount of alcohol in their systems, threw their assault rifles over their shoulders and hid in camp.
The dawn sun was blinding until Mido put his goggles on. Suddenly the sun was just a speck while everything else was as clear as noon.
“How?” Celestia asked.
“Polarized glasses probably,” Vegeta thought.
Then Mido flipped a second lens down over his left eye. Everything took a slight green tint, but many things started to glow.
“That exposes the magic,” Luna gasped. “You can even see the spell lines.”
“Naddaarit shams!” Mido shouted. “Balloor!”
Everyone who had not put their goggles on did and flipped the lens.
In the meantime, the huge line of charging chariots was making extremely short work of the five miles. Pulled by two horses, a third was in the back with staves and star filled robes.
The stave tips were glowing bright green and lines were visible attaching them to various floating spell circle medallions. The first line’s were wide and gave the area a general glow. The second line had dimmer glowing staves with no connected medallions.
Behind them were hundreds of horses with swords in their mouths or two horse teams with what looked like to Vegeta small cannons on wooden poles.
“Sawwaba!”
The second row’s staves began to brighten.
“Yidrab naar!”
A hundred loud thunder claps ripped next to their ears causing the two princesses and Discord to flinch.
One hundred heads exploded. And after an almost simultaneous two clicks, so did another. Then the last.
In seconds the chariots were in disarray and the wards were gone. A horrible screech came from behind them as the griffons took to the air and charged forward.
“Iislah alhirabi!”
The felis put their bayonets on.
“Hajama!”
The unit charged across the battlefield.
The shots had ended by the time they reached the battlefield. They weaved through the mangled messes without much of a glance as they raced to catch up with the griffons.
Everyone else, not so much. Except for Vegeta.
The griffons swarmed the fort as the felis ran into the unprotected village.
“Where’s the shield?” Celestia said, surprised. “Why didn’t they evacuate the village into the stronghold?”
“This obviously wasn’t taken seriously,” Vegeta said. “They even left the gate wide open during the charge. The ruse of being an easy mark obviously worked.”
“Yes…” Rasheed said, gritting his teeth. “The local sheik had already transmitted his victory at this point. Because so many deserters looked at their watches like Mido, we know he did it even before the horn blast.”
Being just a few minutes past dawn, most inhabitants were just waking up, if they were up at all. 100 soldiers were not enough to secure every home, but a few key marksmen kept things under control while the rest went house to house. Bravado left many widowed and fatherless while stampede panic finished the creation of orphans, but Vegeta was impressed with the arguably very clean operation.
Then an explosion drew everyone’s attention behind them.
Despite griffons managing to fly through the gates once the spells were destroyed, a shield had gone up at the fort. But it did not look like it would last long.
“And that’s an RPG,” he thought, watching 5 teams of griffons rain fire from above. Like the bullets, the shield was useless. “Who or whatever is making it won’t last long with the lines giving way their location.”
As if on cue, the shield dropped, and the flying army descended.
The noise did not last long.
“And that was the battle…” Mido said. The scene froze and washed out, the people disappearing and only leaving the buildings.
“This was very clean from an operational standpoint,” Vegeta said. “Even if the local commander wasn’t such an idiot, the weapons more than made up for the manpower imbalance. His stupidity only shortened the inevitable.”
“Yes,” Mido said, “The military leader here was a frustrated youth from a disgraced family and the local sheik old from the era before gewehrs. A hero that won several battles by personally partaking in champion duels.”
“Very David and Goliath,” Vegeta said. “You have my sympathies, Prince Rasheed. My people’s emphasis on personal honor led to a lot of stupidity. Which I was definitely not immune from,” Vegeta closed his eyes, “And if my wife was here, she would definitely glare at me and vehemently question my use of the past tense.” He looked at Celestia, “May I look around? Considering where this is heading, I believe Mido could use a break.”
“Do as you wish. We can question Mido without you.”
Vegeta made a chair and sat Mido down. “I’ll be right back.”
Rasheed and Mido stared shocked as Vegeta jumped and never came down.
“Well, this is a dream,” Mido said.
“No Vegeta can really suspend himself using ki,” Discord said. “It’s an interesting power to say the least.” He then snapped his fingers and a replica appeared next to him. He waved goodbye and flew after him. “Now,” the original said, “Ask away.”
“How did the goggles see magic?” Celestia demanded, with no warmth in her voice.
“I don’t know the specific name, but there’s something in pechblende that will make things glow in the dark without magic.” He pulled out his watch, “Like the paint in my watch. It was a toy for the nobles until someone noticed it glowed around magic.”
“That’s the name for the waste rock from their silver mines,” Celestia said. “It literally means deception in griffon. But all it’s good for is yellow paint. And it doesn’t glow at all.”
“Their alchemists obviously found something, sister,” Luna said.
“I know Luna.” She turned to Rasheed, “What do you know?”
“Their alchemists started using a strange chart for ingredients. Looks like a young bull’s head made out of boxes. We’ve never understood it. They follow a philosophy called ‘atomic’.”
“That was discredited by Starswirl’s predecessor Borealis Ribbons,” Celestia said. “I remember the story of the duel where Borealis killed Leucippus in his youth at the Alexandrian wizard council.”
“Yes, and killing the grandson of the king of Thrace did wonders for making him the last Sorcerer Superior until Starswirl revived the council a thousand years after the city was burned to ashes,” Luna said, “We still remember the words his student Democritus screamed vengeance over his body. Was used to scare foals in our time. Now nothing is remembered.” She glared at Celestia. “And now ignorance seems to hath bitten Equestria in the arse.”
“Luna?!”
“Those are Grecian names,” Rasheed said forcefully. “Thrace was a griffon kingdom. The area always was, always will be, even without the empire creating that new puppet state after taking the Bosporus.”
“As was his mother and Democritus himself,” Luna said. “The old barbarian Griffons and Grecian horses mixed freely long ago in the great sea ports on the Raven Sea. Hippogriffs and Hippalectryons are Grecian words after all.”
“Ah what?”
Celestia sighed. “Normally a quarter griffon or later if there’s enough ancestry, but unicorn types can be born as a halfling when the unicorn magic becomes dominant in the unborn child.” She looked at Luna. “Hippogriffs marry each other or other griffons nowadays. I haven’t heard of one in over two hundred years.”
“Oh, do you mean the feather dusters the hippogriffs always drown?” Rasheed said. “We always assumed they could not live long due to being misshapen, but they have a name?”
Luna puffed up. “We art going to find Vegeta.” She flew away.
“Prince Rasheed,” Celestia looked at him. “Have you heard of the scholar and poet Linus the Golden of Constampedople? He lived a thousand years ago.”
Rasheed scratched his chin. “Wasn’t he the unicorn killed for insulting the future sultan by wearing flamboyant yellow feathers in his tail in his presence?”
Celestia gave an angry smile. “Is that how it is remembered in your country? Linus was a hippalectryon born to a Thracian-descent horse and Roaman unicorn. Thracians hippalectryons had a bit of a superiority complex compared to the newer foederati-born hybrids. They were cherished by the empire and proving your ancestry was a fast track for a family into the nobility. He was a very important stallion in his time. His shimmering mother of pearl fur, silver scales, and golden mane and feathers made him quite the heart-throb as well.”
She took a step forward. “I have had many dears over my uninterrupted life. My sister, has only had time for one. And for her it has only been five years since Linus was invited to your embassy to teach the young lord only to be supposedly beaten to death with his own lyre by a cranky foal. But your confession makes me think he was murdered before he even had a chance to take off his cape revealing his back feathers and wings. Be careful of your choice of words in the future.”
Celestia flew off after her sister.
“Seems both princesses are grieving,” Mido said.
Rasheed grimaced. “And emotional mares don’t think straight…”
“Whatever you’re thinking, don’t.”
Rasheed looked and saw Discord glaring at him with his arms crossed.
~~***~~
“So, what are you looking for now?”
Vegeta turned and saw Discord.
“Just getting a bird’s eye view. Just because there’s two near identical cultures doesn’t mean geography is the same. But judging by what I’m seeing, I think it is. Or at least close enough. Seas don’t end in needle points like this except in two spots.” He turned around, “The mountains are a surprise though.” Vegeta turned back around. “There’s a railroad station and it looks like the horses were in the beginnings of building up and dredging the fishing dock to make it available to larger boats. On Earth, whoever controls the sea between Egypt and Saudi Arabia has the entire planet dead to rights. And here it is under enemy control at the dawn of the era it will become important.”
Vegeta suddenly gripped his chest in pain.
Discord eyes widened. “Is it Pinkie?”
“No,” Vegeta doubled over, “Where’s Luna?”
Discord looked around. And spotted them on the ground outside the town.
“There.” He snapped his fingers.
~~***~~
Meanwhile, Celestia caught Luna and had gotten her to come down.
Celestia had Luna’s upper body completely covered in her wings like a tent.
“How could he say that… my baby… my tiny fluffy baby…”
“LuLu, your emotions are valid. But while history records you were his muse, the truth and the miscarriage were never public. Please calm down. It’s bad enough I had to explain Linus to him.”
“… Why do the stars let you have family after family while everything is taken away from me…”
“And you will never have the chance again if we don’t handle the current crisis. We can sob together over our losses later. Right now, we must be the rulers of Equestria. Leaders of the pony world.”
“*sniff* Not everyone can compartmentalize like you. You were always Starswirl’s favorite because of it.”
“What’s wrong? Luna!”
The women looked up and saw Vegeta run up and Discord land.
Vegeta slid to a stop in the sand. “Ok, who made the moon princess cry?”
Celestia raised her wing to block his view of Luna. “She’ll be fine. Give us a moment.”
A blue light pushed her wing down.
“Tia…” Luna said, turning off her horn. She wiped her eyes, “Thou saw us from the sky?”
“No. I felt you in pain. Discord found you.”
Luna looked up. “Thou felt our pain?”
“He was completely bent over,” Discord said. “I thought something happened to Pinkie.”
Luna gave a painful smile, “We can speak once this is all concluded.” She stood, “Did you find what you sought?”
“Yes, but that’s not important now. I don’t know what messed you up, but this trip down memory lane is going to get worse before it gets better and I’m already emotionally babysitting the cat.”
“We will right ourselves. Let us return.”
Luna spread her wings and took to the sky. Vegeta followed.
“Discord, wait,” Celestia ordered.
He dropped back down. “Yes?”
“What did Vegeta want? Quickly.”
“He wanted to see the scenery. He said on Earth, whoever controls the sea between Feligypt and Saddle Arabia can control the entire planet. And it became important during the war he thinks we’re headed towards.”
“I don’t see how… Yes, Feligypt now controls all the ports on both sides of the land bridge, but other than local trade, everything goes around Zebrica. Has since the Ottomanes took Constampedople. Even Saddle Arabia won’t be especially hard hit. Most trade reaches Bridlebad through the Pursian Gulf.”
“Well, the Griffon Empire didn’t put decades of time and money into Feligyt out of the goodness of their hearts. We know that for sure. They and Humans see something here in these 200 miles of desert that we can’t.” Discord snapped his fingers and vanished.
Celestia sighed and flew back.
~~***~~
Discord lurched forward. Then shook his head. His eyes kept spinning afterwards until he hit the side of his head twice. He glared daggers at Rasheed. “You are so lucky Celestia won’t let me turn you into a chicken for a day.”
Luna landed. Followed by Vegeta.
“Princess Luna,” Mido took a knee and bowed. “I am so sorry for your loss. I had no idea you were grieving as well.”
Vegeta looked wide-eyed at Luna.
“Rise, noble Mido,” she smiled softly. “While it is recent to me, it has been a thousand years… and it was not like politics allowed for any justice at the time.” She looked at Vegeta, “Or miracles in the future.” She then stood tall, stretching her neck majestically, and subtly tilting her head turning her nose up at Rasheed. “As royals we can neither give nor accept apologies without representing our nations. But I will assume over all this time Saddle Arabia lost the knowledge hippalectryon-style hybrids were viable children, or you would have prosecuted the culling of the newborns like any normal, civilized nation. Take the knowledge of your sins back to your nation, and I hope make the proper adjustments to your laws.”
Celestia landed next.
“I will inform my brother of this horrible tragedy,” Rasheed said, also stiff as a board, but with fear in his eyes.
“Well,” Vegeta smiled cheerfully, “Let’s end this awkward conversation about death with even more death! How are you feeling, Mido?”
“Vegeta! Sarcasm,” Celestia scolded.
Vegeta put his hands on his cheeks. “Gasp! The dark mage has a dark sense of humor?!” He then rocked back and forth, “Who would have thought?!”
Luna tittered through her teeth, then covered her mouth embarrassed. She trembled, failing to hide her need to laugh.
Vegeta looked at Celestia with a gloating smirk, then turned around back to Mido.
He had his paw over his mouth and tears in his eyes. “You’re definitely a soldier… but I don’t know of a griffon who would mock himself like that…”
Vegeta crossed his arms, “Sucks to be them then.”
Mido raised his head, a dawn behind his eyes. “Griffons suck.” He tittered. “Griffons suck.” He began to laugh, becoming more frantic and louder with each repeat. “Griffons suck. Griffons suck. Griffons suck!”
Vegeta’s eyes widened, then he smiled. “That’s the spirit.” He began pumping his fists in the air. “Griffons suck. Griffons suck. Griffons suck.”
Magic suddenly wrapped around Celestia’s and Rasheed’s mouths.
“Don’t,” Luna said softly but sternly. “This is psychologically important.”
Discord, hearing this, snapped himself a cheerleader’s outfit with a griffon’s head under a crossed-out symbol on the shirt. He began hopping back and forth with the pompoms high.
He joined Vegeta in the chant. “Griffons suck. Griffons suck. Griffons suck.”
Mido was now in hysterics. Screaming, laughing, and crying all at once.
Luna let go of her magic.
“May I remind everyone we are on a time restraint,” Rasheed said softly but sternly.
Luna rolled her eyes. “And I am saying we have all the time in the world.”
“Is there a way to speed things up then?” Rasheed was insistent.
“I already cast the swiftest possible without darkening the magic,” she said indignant.
“What do you mean?” he asked, suddenly remembering he was standing in front of Nightmare Moon.
“Dreaming is adjacent to waking. It is not an accident that those rescued from various mind controls describe it as a dreamlike state.”
“GRIFFONS SUCK! GRIFFONS SUCK! GRIFFONS SUCK!”
Mido was now rolling on the ground gripping his stomach.
“GRIFFONS SUCK! GRIFFONS SUCK! GRIFFONS SUCK!”
This continued until Mido was out of breath and hyperventilating.
Vegeta stopped chanting and waved for Discord to stop. He did not at first so Vegeta glared at him and cut his arm swiftly through the air.
Discord finally got the point and snapped the outfit away.
Vegeta knelt down. “Feel better?”
“A little…”
“Good.” Vegeta sat crossing his legs. “Catch your breath. No pressure. We have plenty of time.”
“You’re really good at this…”
“No. I have a good wife…” Vegeta clarified, pride in his voice. “And in-laws,” he added. “You like cookies and tea? Once Mom spots you, she won’t let you out of her sight until she feeds you.”
Mido tittered. “Sure… we can eat while getting my new leg.”
“So, what’s next on the agenda?” he asked.
Mido sat up. “Well… about an hour after we took the fort, a transmission came from Camelscus saying three trains of reinforcements would be passing—”
“Mido, that won’t be necessary,” Rasheed cut him off. “Let’s focus on this battle.”
“So you got your ass beat to a tune of what, another three, four thousand men?” Vegeta smirked.
“Blowing up bridges causing derailments is hardly a battle.”
Vegeta looked at Mido. “Do the words dynamite, TNT, and C-4 mean anything to you?”
“Yes, I know of dynamit. Not the others, though.”
“How , do you know about dynamite?” he stressed.
“It was introduced to us for mining and construction along with everything else after the treaty thirty years ago.”
“Then let’s assume the griffons have developed something more powerful if dynamite is public knowledge.”
“That… is a good inference,” Rasheed said reluctantly.
Vegeta stood. “Since we are being denied the spectacle of some steam engines bungee jumping without the bungee, let’s get back to the aftermath.”
“Yes…” Mido said, looking at the ground. He raised his paw.
Vegeta helped him up.
“So, what will you share with us next?” Luna asked.
“The griffons were gone most of the day. It was a completely normal occupation of a village. Yes, there were issues, but a few volleys made it clear it was futile. We moved everyone into the temple. Allowed for food and water. Temporarily returned confiscated earth-moving tools for proper burials. Took rotations praying five at a time with the prisoners at the calls…
“Then they came back…”
Vegeta immediately went to support Mido hearing the crack in his voice. He steadied him.
Mido looked up at Vegeta, who smiled and nodded. Mido looked down, took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.
Suddenly Vegeta heard a buzzing sound.
“Hey! It’s me. Let me be a little fly in your ear so you know what’s going on. The felis are also speaking their version of Arabic when there’s no griffons nearby.”
Vegeta looked over at Discord, who started to whistle.
Vegeta rolled his eyes.
~~***~~
The sun was low, but not close to sunset.
Then Vegeta reminded himself that meant absolutely nothing here and it could be dark at any moment.
The flock of griffons returned.
The mercenaries were manic with fresh blood on them, including their beaks.
Vegeta remembered what Discord had said and took a sharp breath.
Several had crates suspended in a net and gently lowered it. They then pulled off the lids and one grabbed a bottle and screeched holding it high. The others rushed over and began grabbing bottles out of the hay.
Vegeta guessed it was more alcohol.
One of the roman cosplayers shouted from the air. “(Unteroffizier! Where are you? Report!)”
Mido ran up and the griffon landed.
“Centurion,” Mido saluted.
“(Your report.)”
“(52 civilian deaths. 27 from assaults. 25 escape attempts. 4,018 prisoners. 930 stallions: 113 elderly, 572 prime, 245 of age youths. 1,860 mares. 1,228 children and infants. All prisoners currently being held in the temple. All magical artifacts not of immediate utility destroyed, non-magical weapons seized. Only magical artifact of power is the crystal powering the water well. That has been successfully drawn down to three weeks’ worth of magic. The civilians were given ceremonial burial in family plots. Soldiers were buried where they fell with the local cleric being brought out to bless the battlefield once completed. No unusual events.)”
The centurion nodded. “(By the book as always. I wouldn’t expect anything less from the 5th Hawara. Have the earth moving tools been destroyed yet?)”
“(No. Only the offensive weapons, per regulations.)”
“(Good. We have been ordered to deliver the soldiers’ severed heads to the Sultan. Should be close to 2,000 for an outpost this size. Get men together and start the process. Tomorrow we will select any remaining strong individuals to pull those carts and escort them along the coastal road before blowing it up behind them. They should reach Tabuck before hunger and thirst become an issue.)”
“(And those that don’t have heads anymore?)”
“(Gather what’s left in cloth confiscated from the homes. Include part of the neck and mane to get the point across.)”
Mido saluted and ran off.
~~***~~
Mido skipped forward without prompting. The sun was even lower the next moment with partially dug up bodies and piles of heads around. The felis had taken their jackets off in the heat as they breathed heavily on enchanted shovels and horse-sized swords.
“(I’m tired…)” one said.
“(Just think of what it would be like without the dirt magic,)” the one next to him chuckled, wiping her brow.
“(Don’t let the griffons hear that,)” Mido said, walking over with a clipboard. “(How many we got over here now?)”
“(The two stacks of 25 and whatever is in the third. Hey! What’s the tally marks in the wood?!)”
“(Just threw the 18th,)” another shouted, carving a notch in a stick. “(It’s the last one over here!)”
“(Then come help with these!)” he called back.
“(58 in section 9, incomplete)” Mido mumbled, writing it down. He then pulled out his watch. “Sun goes down in about 25 minutes, take a break until I get back from my report.”
“(That won’t be necessary.)”
“Centurion!”
Everyone saluted.
“(How many now?)”
“(Let me add this up real quick…)” He looked up at the griffon. “(1786. And I still haven’t checked sections 10 and 11 yet.)”
“(Excellent. From the records we found there were only 1900 soldiers here. With the ones we took care of ourselves in the fort, you should have 64 heads left to find. Your unit did fast work for two hours.)”
“(We are honored by your praise,)” Mido bowed his head.
“(We have also successfully taken Sharm el-Shagya. They are sending one of their mag-trains up to us with another 25 hessians, the reward for your unit, along with a few other things. I need you and your direct underlings to wait at the station to unload while I—)”
Suddenly a huge explosion came from the town, and water began to fall from the sky.
The centurion was not amused. “(While I deal with the drunken idiots who just blew up the sole water crystal for the village…)”
“(Yes sir!)” Mido saluted.
“They blew up the water purifier?!” Celestia gasped. “Do they expect their reinforcements to drink mud or sea water?! The nearest city is only a week by hoof.”
“Do they hate all magic so much…” Luna muttered.
“The answer to that is yes,” Rasheed said.
Mido grabbed Ahmed and two other felis and went to the station to wait.
“(So, what do you think we’re going to get?)” one asked as he hopped on a hay bail.
“(Probably just a medal and some extra pay,)” Mido said. “(That’s all we got when we took Constampedople.)”
“(Ah, yes, the conquering hero of Constampedople and Clysma,)” the second said.
“(Don’t let the griffons hear you call it that,)” Mido chuckled. “(They’ve already renamed it Suet.)”
Vegeta flinched.
“(What do you think they’ll rename Sharm el-Shagya and Aqabarb?)” the first said.
“(Who knows. I mean, changing it back from Istanbit was symbolic. And Suet is technically a new fortification while they’re stripping the old city down to its foundations. They may not do anything, at least for a while.)”
“(Mid… Unteroffizier,)” Ahmed asked. “(Is this normal… for griffons?)”
“(For Hessians, it’s touch and go. Some are as professional as soldiers; some are kitten comic book barbarian wannabes. But the military? No.)” He shook his head, “(The decapitated heads idea probably came from some newly appointed edgy teenage noble.)”
Ahmed sighed relieved.
“(Did you see the new gewehrs the griffons brought? They just evaporated wherever they hit the horses. Some of my bodies didn’t even have a neck, forget a head.)”
“(And what about those things that shot fire out the back they used to take the shield down? Those look fun to shoot.)”
Mido chuckled, “(We only get the leftovers. You’ll have arthritis in your paws before you ever get the chance to hold one.)”
Ahmed stood and walked down the platform.
“(Where you headed, Stabskorporal?)” the second said.
“(Bathroom,)” he said walking into the building.
“(I’m going to take a piss myself,)” Mido got up and followed him.
~~***~~
Mido found him hiding in a corner behind boxes.
“(Hey, Ahmed.)”
“(Unteroffizier.)”
“(No one’s here right now,)” he said sitting next to him. “(Just uncle is fine.)”
“(I don’t think I can do this anymore… the new gewehrs, what they do, it’s too much.)”
“(It’s definitely gruesome…. More like artilleriefeuer than a feuerwaffe.)”
“(How can you stand that?)”
“(The training you need to do in the empire gets you used to blood.)”
“(I don’t want to advance anymore… I think I see a desk job in my future. Wait?!)” he looked at him. “(You didn’t send the recommendation letter yet, did you?)”
Mido shook his head, “(I haven’t had time. Just catch yourself. You’ll be in a lot better position going forward with a combat medal. You’ve taken five towns and Mitla Pass. The entire central peninsula is ours because of this unit.)”
“(And the griffons…)”
“(They didn’t catch up to us until they captured the northern road. We got here so fast we even took Al Kuntillah from under their beaks.)” He hugged him, then pointed up, “(The Central Road and the Wadi Gerafi are ours and cannot be taken away.)”
“(Do you really think heaven would find honor with what happened today?)”
“(Don’t worry about the pagans. Their actions are theirs. Ours is ours. Ok?)”
A head peeked over the boxes. “(And to that I agree.)”
“(Centurion?!)” Mido shouted. He bowed on his hands and knees, “(Please forgive Ahmed, I take full responsibility as his uncle.)”
The griffon flew over and landed in front of them. “(Rise, the both of you.)”
They both got up at attention.
“(Stabskorporal, do you know what most Hessians are?)”
“(No, sir…”)
“(Military rejects and dishonorably discharged. If you find a good hessian, odds are they are a veteran or a relative trying not to dishonor one even further. Don’t let their behavior discolor your uniform.)”
“(Yes, sir!)”
“(Unteroffizier, there has been a change of plans. I’m being called back to Caitro to personally report on your successes. The commander that is escorting the new hessians will take over temporarily. I and the staff will return in three weeks.)”
“(Swift travels to you, Centurion Alaurence.)”
He grinned. “(I’m going to miss that mispronunciation while in Caitro.)”
“(Farewell, Centurion Lorenz.)”
Centurion Lorenz nodded and looked at his watch. “(Still 45 minutes until the train comes. Gather everyone and spread the word we are leaving. Keep an eye on the time and return promptly.)”
Chapter 27: Bloody Carnival
Chapter 27: Bloody Carnival
Soon after they left, a train pulled silently into the station. It released steam.
The group noticed the burst.
“(It’s here already?)” one of the felis said.
“(Crap.)” Mido looked around and spotted an open window.
“(Everyone, through that window. Follow my lead.)”
The felis quickly helped each other through the window by stepping on the bottom person’s hands then dragging the last one up.
A noble walked out of the train.
“(Primus Pilus?!)” Centurion Lorenz saluted. “(I wasn’t told you were coming personally.)”
“(That shouldn’t have mattered.)” He said sternly, “(Where are your felis?)”
“(Since you weren’t due for another 45 minutes, I—)”
“(You were ordered to keep them here.)”
Mido stepped out and saluted. “(Sir, the storage room has been prepared to receive the cargo, per orders.)”
Mido then turned sharply and saluted again. “(Welcome commanders. Ready to receive instructions for unloading cargo.)”
The Primus Pilus looked from Mido back at Lorenz. “(I see. I will forgive this since you were technically following orders. And we are early.)”
He looked back at Mido, “(You will follow the orders of the Hessian commander. I will go get them now.)”
The Primus Pilus walked back to the passenger car. “(We have arrived, dear guests. Please make your way out.)”
Lorenz whispered to Mido. “(Someone’s someone important’s kid who skipped out on mandatory service. Make sure everyone is super nice and obedient.)”
“(Yes sir.)”
The griffon’s departed. And Vegeta had a bad feeling.
“They are in business suits? Not armor,” Celestia said surprised.
The griffons were in either plain black or brown clothes with a black tie and no suit jacket. Simple and business-like. The first two had wheeled suitcases handcuffed to their left claw. The others had a knapsack over their shoulders, with two directly behind the firsts carrying a second, most likely belonging to the two with the luggage.
Everyone exchanged salutes.
One of the griffons looked down on them. He was young, but from the others’ reactions, clearly in charge.
“(Are these your only felis?)” he asked.
“(I was told to only bring my officers,)” Lorenz answered.
“(Only four for your entire unit?)”
“(The 5th Hawara is only 100 males.)”
“(Only 100? Your charge must be as ruthless as griffons to pull off the feats we have been hearing about.)”
“(I am very proud of them. They are the best in the legion’s felis auxiliaries.)”
The griffon extended his claw for a shake, “Lord Attilio, of the MVSN.”
“(The Blackshirts that serve the emperor? I am honored my lord.)” Lorenz withdrew his claw and bowed, “(Forgive the lack of fanfare. I was told only more hessians would be arriving.)”
“(That was the original plan, but as we were in Sharm, I insisted we come to see the rumors myself. — As an unbiased observer for your report to Caitro.)”
He turned, “(These griffons in brown shirts are from our new sister order for the northern peasants.)” He rolled his eyes. “(They call themselves the Sturmabteilung. The northerners are dramatic if not industrious. Which you have seem to have inherited from your mother and passed down to your charges.)”
“That was an insult…” the real Mido stuttered to the group. “He’s an illegitimate child of a noble.”
“I can feel your rage,” Vegeta said. “You respect him greatly, even now.”
“He treated us well. The only griffon I ever knew who bothered to learn Arabic.”
“Well this guy’s dead as a doornail…” Vegeta thought.
“(Would you want me to call more felis to help unload?)” Lorenz asked, still bowing.
“(No, it will be enough. We are carrying the most important equipment with us. Order your felis to the back of the train. There are four crates and four boxes. Nothing breakable.)”
Lorenz stood. “Unteroffizier, take your men to the back of the carriages and unload the crates and boxes Lord Attilio mentioned.)”
Mido saluted, “(Yes, Centurion!)” He turned his head, “(Come on men.)”
The four ran to the back of the train.
~~***~~
“(Wow, look at these,)” one said, taking one of the exceptionally long boxes from the top of the crates. “(These aren’t boxes, they’re feuerwaffe cases.)”
He flipped the latches.
“(Woah… look at this. The barrel is as long as we’re tall.)”
“(It must be a new scharfschutzengewehr,)” the other said.
Mido slammed it shut, almost pinching their paws. “(Don’t open them you idiots. Didn’t you hear? These griffons serve the emperor.)”
“(Every griffon serves the emperor,)” one said with a duh face.
“(It means they directly serve the emperor. Report and answer to him and him alone, you morons. You want to get everyone shot and Centurion Lorenz plucked and crucified? Now grab those crates, Ahmed and I will handle the gewehrs.)”
Ahmed shakily came over and grabbed an end.
“(Ahmed. Calm down. Nothing is going to happen. They don’t know the idiots opened anything.)”
Ahmed shook so hard he couldn’t hold on.
“(Ok put it down before you drop it. Go sit in a corner. You two idiots. Get these boxes out of the way and focus on the crates. Get the dolly off the wall and the poles through the rings.)”
~~***~~
It took time, but the three got the boxes off the train and placed them in the station.
“(Ok, carefully carry the others.)”
The two ran out.
Then, Mido heard a noise. He went to the storage room. He did not see anything, just the open window they climbed in. He stuck his head out and looked around, including up.
He saw nothing but their footprints. He bent his ears back and forth. He heard nothing either.
He went back inside to help the idiots.
~~***~~
“(Four thousand prisoners?)” Lord Attilio looked at the report. He looked up, “(You’ve managed to control over 4,000 prisoners with just 300 males?)”
“(The axillaries have maintained the town most of the day while the hessians and my griffons went north to ambush the oncoming reinforcements.)”
“(So only 100 felis have held this town? I…)” he grimaced as he searched to find words that could not be viewed as a complement, but failed. “(Impressive,)” he said begrudgingly. “(I see your bragging is not without merit. How did they do it?)”
“(Horses are herd animals. Violence to make stallions understand it’s pointless while treating the mares and foals manely to keep them calm. Feligypt has over five thousand years of experience battling various horse tribes and understands their psyche intimately. They are as efficient as any well-oiled machine in a factory if you lengthen their leash slightly. We would have lost valuable time subduing the village and would not have been able to ambush the reinforcements at their most vulnerable moments in the mountains.)”
“(And will your felis behave as trained when their leash is pulled back in?)”
“(Absolutely my lord, they are nothing but the best axillaries in the holy empire.)”
“(So, wish to tell me why one of your cats has been eavesdropping on this conversation?)”
“(He’s not. Turning his back and standing at a distance is a sign of respect to our ranks and understanding our meeting is more important.)” Lorenz turned his head, “(Unteroffizier, you may approach.)”
Mido spun around and hurried over. “(My Lord,)” he saluted Lord Attilio. “(The train is successfully unloaded. Awaiting further orders.)”
Lord Attilio raised an eyebrow at Lorenz before turning back to Mido. “(Return to your previous tasks.)”
“(Yes, Lord Attilio,)” he ran back towards the station.
“(I’ll be taking this report with me for now,)” Mido heard him say, the voices rapidly fading with distance. “(To compare with the notes my males are gathering interviewing the Hessians.)”
“(I’m positive you will find nothing amiss…)”
~~***~~
Mido returned to the station. The three were waiting on the benches on the deck.
“(Mido! What’s the new orders?)” one asked, hopping off.
“(To return to our previous tasks. Now let’s get the storage room actually presentable before we go check on the severed heads.)”
“We spent about thirty minutes cleaning the storage room,” the real Mido said. He glanced up at Rasheed briefly. “Nothing important happened.”
“Were you ever caught in that lie that you know of?” Vegeta asked.
“No…” Mido said.
“You don’t sound confident.”
Mido looked down, “I’m sure he faced punishment when he heard we disappeared… especially after praising us.”
“You look annoyed,” Rasheed said.
“Hmm?” Vegeta looked at him.
“You crossed your arms and looked off into space.”
“Oh.” Vegeta uncrossed his arms and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Something’s nagging at the back of my head telling me I’m missing something obvious and I’m being an idiot because of it…”
“Probably a useless parallel that only distracts from the truth. We should continue to the important parts.”
“Yes, let’s continue,” Celestia said. “If you think of anything else, we can always requestion Mido.”
Vegeta crossed his arms again and looked at her. “And that is called, famous last words.”
He turned back to Mido. “Mido. Did you see what was in the bags the new griffons were carrying?”
“No.”
“Did you ever touch the bags to feel what was inside?”
“No.”
“Those crates?”
“No.”
“The suitcases?”
“No, but there was an incident with the Hessians. A group got the idea there was food or booze in the cases and tried to steal them. Ended in a gunfight. I didn’t see it personally, but my nephew did. I only saw the aftermath.”
“I want to see it. If it was worth a gun battle, it’s important.”
Mido nodded and closed his eyes.
Mido was speaking with Lord Attilio.
“(So… you imprisoned everyone in the temple, and have allowed water and food to be gathered and distributed under intense guard?)”
“(Yes, sir.)”
“(You have also allowed prayers to continue uninterrupted and since you worship the same god, have had your men participate in small numbers on a rotating basis?)”
“(Yes, sir.)”
“(You have also allowed the priest to bless the mass graves?)”
“(Yes, sir.)”
“(And this is all standard training among the Mamluks?)”
“(Yes, sir.)”
“(And from what Centurion Lorenz told me, this methodology is ancient?)”
“(Yes, herd races are highly predictable, once any leadership and standouts are subdued, the rest will fall in line.)”
“(Then why bother with the niceties if simple executions will suffice?)”
Mido paused, “(I believe there’s been a miscommunication. Herd animals predictably come down to their preference to run, but when cornered, they will circle the wagons. They can stomp a felis to death and sever limbs with their teeth. The niceties are to lull them into compliance. We spent no resources or extra time on them. They have basically imprisoned themselves by their own instincts with little effort on our end.)”
Lord Attilio put his claw to his beak, thinking. “(Imprisoning themselves with little effort and no expenditure of resources… I suppose I can see why such customs developed in such a deprived environment.)” He lowered his claw, “(But now with our superior weapons and training, I don’t see the need to practice this going forward. But, that is my personal opinion and not part of this objective report. Your unit has done exceptionally well and obediently followed your training and orders. Now my question is, if your orders from a griffon commander were to contradict your training, which would you follow?)”
“(The griffon, of course.)”
“(Even if it was to run into battle naked and without arms?)”
“(We are not a unit trained for such tactics.—)"
“(Even so, what would you do?)” he interrupted.
“(I don’t believe a griffon would be so foolish. It would be like taking a sword into battle that is just a hilt.)”
Lord Attilio smiled, not hiding his frustration very well. “(Yes, the old parable of the foolish heir… I see you remember your unteroffizier training well. But hypothetically you get a leader who took an arrow to the head. What would you do?)”
“(In the end, without recourse, we would have to obey.)”
Lord Attilio sat back and clapped his claws together. “(Wonderful, I suggest you make your final answer your first response going forward. Save the useless convers—)“
Gun fire suddenly went off. Mido and Lord Attilio ran, weapons drawn.
~~***~~
They came to a scene with several dead hessians and three bleeding blackshirts. One had a chest wound and was not going to make it. Four Brownshirts were holding down Ahmed.
“(What happened?)”
“(This felis killed a griffon!)”
“(What?!)” Mido shouted.
“(They attacked a direct servant of the emperor and tried to steal something clearly precious to him!)” Ahmed shouted. “(Would it not be treason in itself for a soldier to sit back and watch it happen?)”
“(My lord,)” one of the bleeding men raised his good arm. “(As embarrassed as I am to be saved by a cat, that felis took the head off the fool about to shoot the case with a sturmgewehr.)”
“(Is it damaged at all?)”
“(A little…)”
“(Someone get their bag! No chances! Evaluate! Give me that felis!)” Lord Attilio ordered.
The brownshirts got off of him and he grabbed his arm and dragged him off while the griffons scrabbled.
Mido followed.
A good distance away, he stopped and let go. “(Name and rank, soldier.)”
“(Stabskorporal Ahmed al-Qitt,)” he squeaked out, trembling.
“(You saved a lot of griffons today if those idiots had set off what is in those cases. You did good, soldier.)”
Ahmed stood straight and saluted.
“(Now,)” he turned serious, “(what did you hear?)”
“(They were arguing. The Hessians thought there was either food or booze in the cases. The Hessians fired first.)”
“(I see. Unteroffizier. Guard this felis for now. Once the safety of the cases is confirmed and the bastards dealt with, we will need his official statement.)”
Mido saluted. “(Yes sir!)”
“(Don’t talk to anyone,)” Lord Attilio ordered before he ran off.
Mido gave Ahmed a side hug, “(You hear that? You did good! You got a medal on the way for sure.)”
The real Mido bit his lower lip.
“Well, that narrows down what’s in those cases…” Vegeta said.
“That was not sarcasm,” Celestia said surprised.
“A new explosive that’s poisonous if mishandled,” Rasheed said haughtily. “That’s obvious even to an apprentice interrogator. The bags most likely contain personal alchemic protective equipment.”
Vegeta clearly wanted to respond, but he stopped himself, glanced at Mido, took a deep breath, then looked forward, “Alright then… Next scene.”
Celestia, Luna, and Discord all glanced at each other.
“You have tensed up,” Mido said suddenly.
Vegeta glanced at him for a second, then looked forward again thoughtfully. “If what’s in the cases is what I think it is…” he said eventually, “then the horses died a very unpleasant death.”
“I know,” Mido said. He closed his eyes briefly before looking up, “Whatever it was, they brought it for a reason. You don’t have to sugarcoat things. I’ve had months of overthinking and my mind being picked open by mages to focus in on details like that.”
Vegeta looked at Mido, then glared at Rasheed.
“Vegeta, we understand your malaise over the use of mind magic, but trust us—”
“Yes,” Vegeta snapped back, “I trust YOU.”
“Enough!” Celestia spread her wings. She tucked them back in. “Vegeta this is not a therapy session.” She touched her forehead, then extended her hoof. “This is neither the time nor place for your complexes.”
“Which thou art not helping with, sister,” Luna scolded. “What did thou say earlier? Emotions are valid?”
“You’ve never allowed your emotions to interfere with your duties.”
Luna spread her wings, “Then why did we spend a thousand years imprisoned in a magical coma!”
Celestia’s wings drooped. “Luna…”
“Alright. Alright,” Vegeta let go of Mido and moved in between. “We are all messed up people that unfortunately don’t have thrones made of porcelain, making our shit everyone else’s business. But Mido is the messed-up person we need to protect right now. He saw all this shit in person, while we’re just watching an edited YouTube commentary vid. We can all armchair general later.”
Discord crossed his arms and smiled over towards Mido. “I didn’t get any of that, but judging from Mido’s snickering, some part of that is funny.”
Vegeta looked back over his shoulder, “Probably the porcelain throne joke.”
He nodded. Then his snickering turned to crying.
Vegeta dashed and caught him as his arm and leg vanished again. He held him in his arms like a child. Then a beanbag chair appeared. Vegeta placed him in with a plop, then made a blanket. Vegeta then made a normal folding chair and sat down.
“What… is… this?” Mido asked.
“Beanbag chair. Shaped bag full of little squishy balls. Comfy?”
“Umm, yes actually. I, I think this is the nicest thing I’ve ever sat on. Can… Can I have one of these?”
“Of course,” Vegeta smiled. “Now,” he said seriously. “I take it the next thing that’s going to happen is the big one? The one that hurts the most?”
“Yes, he should be at the point he loses his leg and arm. And the point of all of this, witnessing the new bunduq in action.”
Vegeta glared at him for a second, then turned back to Mido. “Your nephew… he’s about to die, right? He was worthy of praise, but only met with betrayal?”
Mido cried, “He had a panic attack and ran. I went after him. We didn’t go far. But we were shot at on our way back. Maybe they really thought we were deserting… Or maybe someone used it as an excuse when we left the light of camp to get even for shooting the Hessian…”
“Part of you blames your nephew,” Vegeta said. “Don’t. If you truly believe he did nothing wrong, and your superiors would know you would never desert, then it was clearly murder. And they would recognize that bullshit immediately.”
“Maybe so… But the only thing capable of that long range would be our gewehrs or those scharfschutzengewehrs we found in the cases. A griffon wouldn’t lower themselves to touching our leftovers, so the only option would be one of the emperor’s males.”
Vegeta put his hand on Mido’s shoulder. “You said your god would honor his service. Remember that.”
Mido nodded.
“Mido, let’s continue,” Rasheed ordered.
Mido nodded again and the scene shifted to the train station.
Everyone gathered behind the train station. The felis in the back, the black and brownshirts in the middle heavily armed. In the front were the Hessians, completely disarmed. And in the very front, were the Hessian band that had attacked them, naked, tied, and beaks wrapped closed with gray strips.
“I see they have duct tape,” Vegeta thought.
Sitting against the wall was a line of blackshirts with assault rifles at attention.
Lord Attilio stood atop the flat roof.
“(Everyone! It seems word of our identities has not spread properly. We are the MVSN and Sturmabteilung. We answer to the emperor and ONLY the emperor! Every snot nosed beak you’ve ever met are below us by leagues. We are so above you, you should be worshiping us as gods!)”
He looked down, “(Thunder Claws! Several of your members killed a member of the emperor’s personal guards and injured three more. I hope the seriousness of your crimes can get through your thick, drunken skulls. Males! Shove them against the wall.)”
The lined-up men dragged the griffons thrashing against the wall. Then the black shirted griffons lined up again.
“(Ready!)”
“(Aim!)”
“(Fire!)”
The blackshirts let loose, and Celestia, Luna and Discord got a close-up view of the meaning of the word ‘paste’ from the autopsy papers.
The shooting stopped and the griffons turned around to face the remaining hessians.
“(Remaining hessians! You should all be ashamed of yourselves! These felis have performed far beyond expectations and their exploits in this campaign will be remembered for years to come! They are fully deserving of the rewards and fame coming to them, BUT THEY SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN PUT IN THAT POSITION! Instead of them meeting up with you, they took the entire central road and wadi valley on their own with a full two days until you showed up! That should have never happened you shit-faced buzzards! The felis are now under my direct personal command. Don’t touch them! Especially the felis who saved all your asses! These cases contain experimental weapons and if that idiot had succeeded in shooting up the case and set off one of the charges, we’d all be dead! We were originally going to come here in two days for desert testing, but after word of your incompetence got south, we were ordered up to see if things were really that bad. And you bastards more than proved the reports right! Congratulations! I’m going to recommend all your pay be halved!)”
The hessians started screeching.
Lord Attilio took his pistol and shot several times in the air. “(Silence! Or I’ll use what’s in the suitcases on you!)”
“(If you’re not going to pay us with money, then pay us with the fucking whores that pussy lover and his cats have been keeping for themselves in the big building!)”
“(If they believe in their god so much, let’s see the bastard protect them!)” a second shouted.
Lord Attilio sighed.
“(Felis Unteroffizier! Have your felis begin moving the females and any male foals too young to be separated into the fort prisons! Leave the males in the temple. It will be cramped for now, but tell them it is temporary.)”
“(BOOOOO!)”
He shot his gun in the air again. “(Silence!)”
The real Mido began to tremble.
The scene skipped ahead.
Mido approached Lord Attilio, but one of the brown shirts landed next to him.
“(Lord Attilio,)” he saluted.
He saluted back, “(Princeps, no, Acting Pilus. My apologies. What is it?)”
“(My Lord, the Hessians are restless and still demanding blood as compensation. If things continue, we may need to execute more.)”
“(Don’t worry,)” he smiled. “(I have every intention to. But not for their sake; these felis have been spoiled by a shameless commander and need to be put in their place. The old order is dead. Today’s world is written with lead and blood. Oh, that’s right,)” he said mockingly, “(Lorenz is one of your flock.)”
“(I find no insult, my lord,)” he answered. “(I’m just glad the campaign was only to take the peninsula. It is already going to be an embarrassment when this hits the headlines. This unit could have easily pushed deep into Arabia, maybe all the way up to Camelscus.)”
“(Yes, the last thing we need is the press latching on to a lone savior taming and leading savages to victory. At least it was against a bunch of Hessians and not the military proper. They are always so unreliable. The senate has been debating cutting back on reliance. This will be good ammunition for them.)”
“(And room for our organizations to rise in prominence as the substitute.)”
“(I see the SA is as eager to please as ever. But do you really think the emperor will overlook the Senate’s protests and reward the SA with the right to wear black?)”
“(Just you wait, my lord. You’ll be calling us the SS by the end of the decade.)”
Vegeta gritted his teeth.
Lord Attilio laughed, “(In your dreams, little sister ,)” he said mockingly. “(In your dreams.)” He stopped laughing. “(So, you ready to see what horse meat tastes like?)” he asked jovially.
“(Yes. My family was never able to afford pony for the holidays.)”
“(Oh, there’s a big difference in taste,)” Lord Attilio said. Then he tilted his head. “(Do you have a report, Unteroffizier?)”
The SA’s Pilus turned and spotted Mido.
Mido approached and saluted. “(The females and male infants have been moved successfully.)”
“(Good. Where is Stabskorporal Ahmed currently?)”
Mido swallowed. “(With some of the soldiers keeping the stallions’ calm. Explaining it’s an order from the legion to protect them from drunk Hessians.)”
“(Absolutely perfect, Unteroffizier.)” Lord Attilio Lord gave a sick smile. “(Go fetch him at once. He has more commendations coming his way.)”
“There is no need to show them this Mido,” Rasheed said. “Skip to the end so the princesses can get a good idea of what griffon snipers are capable of.”
“I want more information on those cases,” Vegeta insisted.
“I keep saying they are explosives,” Rasheed said frustrated.
Vegeta turned around. “Celestia, Luna, please. You brought me here as a weapons expert. There are clear alternatives to what could be in those cases.”
“Which we can discuss later since you are so insistent,” Celestia said. “But this could be the exact weapon that was used on Pinkie Pie.”
“The rifles the felis used already shoot over a mile.” Vegeta looked at Mido, “Unless he lied about only being just outside of camp,” he looked back at Celestia. “Seeing one head blown off is no different than the next.”
“Felis can run 60 miles an hour on all fours,” Rasheed said looking at Mido. “I’m sure running in pure panic, even for a few moments, they made quite the distance. Mido may not know the exact distance himself, but we can clearly see it even if his mind fails.”
“Luna,” Vegeta began.
“His mind fails, or a memory charm?” Luna spoke over him.
“I’m told traumatic memories are often blurred. It’s the brain’s self-defense mechanism. If there is a charm on him, it was cast to keep him lucid. He is a witness, not a therapy patient. If you’re so worried about his mental health, then let’s get him out of here as soon as possible.”
“Is there some kind of memory recording device so Mido doesn’t need to keep being put through this?” Vegeta asked.
“None that cannot be tampered with,” Luna said. “We assume the same for you?”
“Yeah…” Vegeta crossed his arms. “We usually don’t even bother unless between ourselves when reinforcements need more info than ‘kill that guy in front of us’. My friends are rather spoiled with such close interactions with the gods. Past. Present. Even a little bit into the future. Issue is the lower the god, the more limited the field of vision, and the higher you go, the more they’re worried about crap like cosmic balance instead of individual lives.”
Celestia and Luna look at Discord.
“Don’t look at me!” he clawed the air in front of him exasperated. “Besides, the answer would be a resounding no.”
“And you?” Mido asked.
“What you would be looking for are gods, demons, and spirits on the planetary scale because they’re the ones who directly interact and have a vested interest in the living. Any gods that would overlap our two planets would be a very hard stretch to get help from.”
“Did you say demons?!” Mido squeaked.
“There’s an elderly woman who contracted with a demon of death on my planet, giving her limited access to the world’s individual book of life. But it’s enough for her to become a billionaire as a fortune teller. She charges an arm and a leg, but with wealthy families providing the financial backing to the divine warriors, the gods know they’ll get the information one way or another so they usually cave.”
“I would assume a god could provide everything,” Rasheed said, glaring at him.
“Sorry you’re so butt hurt, but if your god can build spaceships and survival suits, my wife’s company would be interested in negotiating a contract.”
“You separated yourself from these warriors,” Rasheed pointed out.
“I married into the insanity through a backer, I haven’t been trained by the various tiers of gods either as warriors or failed ascension candidates. I’m self-taught.” Vegeta smirked, “I’ll take the fact you momentarily forgot I was the dark mage as a complement.”
Rasheed grimaced.
Vegeta then knelt down. “Mido, do you want to go forward with this? You don’t have to.”
Mido nodded, “It’s ok. I’ve shown this a lot.” His voice squeaked, “Would have been nice if you were the first interrogators though.”
“Past abuse does not condone its continuation.”
“It’s ok. Besides, Princess Celestia’s right,” Mido began shaking. “This could be the exact weapon you’re looking for. It’s not like my personal memories of Ahmed dying being fake means anything. It’s not important. I’m…” Mido started to cry.
Rasheed lowered his head to be level with Mido, “Mido you are very important.”
“Not in the same way the prince and princesses say I am…”
“Do you really think the brother of the sultan would put up with a bumbling, clumsy servant like you under normal circumstances? Witness or not, I should have sent you right back to the kingdom with a letter of admonishment for my brother.” He put his hoof over his shoulder. “I find your intelligence engaging and my mare finds you adorable. And if these artificial limbs live up to the promises, the other servants will have no grounds for favoritism and jealousy because you will be able to perform equally. I know I have been harsh, but only to protect you. You have been through enough.”
“You knew about the mind charm?”
“Preservation magic. Nothing more. Like I said. Traumatic events are often overwritten and altered as a self-defense mechanism. They are not fake, just imperfect. What we can access is a copy preserved the night you were captured.”
He lifted his face to be level with Vegeta. “I was trying to be subtle,” he said harshly, “but some beings are as unrefined as griffons.” He then turned to the others, “and it’s not like horses can freely pop any flight of fancy into reality without any risk to lives and property. If you have more efficient spells that will do the same thing when engraved as runes as when fresh from the horn, our mages are all ears.”
Celestia sighed. “Mido,” she said sweetly, also lowering her head. “As Vegeta said, the final choice is yours.”
“I’ll show it.”
Mido pressed his eyes tight.
The party was already in full swing. Half-eaten corpses were everywhere, the Hessians drenched in blood. Any surviving mares at this point were in the middle of being assaulted or actively torn apart. Vegeta spotted a few instances of both happening at the same time.
The black and brownshirts were being more civil, gathered around fires chatting and drinking from teacups as foals slowly spun on poles over the flames.
Some had even stopped screaming.
All the felis were standing at attention being forced to watch. One cracked and started to cry.
While everyone was focused on what Vegeta thought of as just another Tuesday, Vegeta looked at the temple.
It was fuzzy and dim, and he concluded if he went over there, he’d run into a wall again.
Smaller horses he assumed were teenagers were being dragged away as brownshirts barricaded the doors and windows. They were struggling to keep the doors and shutters closed and he spotted a hoof making a hole in the door. He spotted griffons in full leather jumpsuits fly onto the roof.
The temple went still, and the griffons left laughing and joined the party, leaving it completely unattended.
Vegeta was about to call attention to it when he saw everyone looking at Discord.
He had turned white with green polka dots and was on all fours dry heaving. “Oh, I never thought I’d be so glad to be a garden statue if this is what the last war was like…”
“Definitely a bloody carnival… a pretty tame one in my experience… but a bloody carnival all the same…”
Discord looked up at him. “You have a word for this?!” He turned back to the ground and heaved again.
“My wife’s language. This was normal, everyday life as a soldier under Emperor Frieza.” He smiled, “May you never be invited to a red wedding.”
“Are you mocking me?” Discord managed to get out between heaves.
Suddenly Ahmed turned and ran into an alley.
“(Wait!)” Mido raced after him.
“Discord, they’re running. Get up!” Celestia ordered.
Mido found Ahmed’s rifle on the ground as the tracks gained pawprints and disappeared into the darkness. Mido slung his rifle across his back, dropped down on all fours and followed.
Mido passed a pair of boots, then a jacket. Mido kicked off his boots, but he couldn’t keep running and take the restrictive jacket off while keeping the rifle on his back.
He took his knife out and jabbed his shoulder, making everyone cringe. After slicing the armpit seams open under both arms, he continued gaining needed speed.
Finally, he spotted Ahmed in the distance.
“(Ahmed! Wait! Stop! It’s Uncle Mido!)”
Ahmed went around a mare’s corpse. Mido jumped over it.
“A mile max now…” Vegeta thought.
Even with cat night vision, it was getting dark now, and smells began hitting everyone in the face as Mido switched senses.
Ahmed continued to get farther away.
“(Ahmed!)” he panted. “(Ahmed! *pant* *pant* Jove fucking a cow. Come on.)”
It was a while before Mido caught up to Ahmed, finally collapsed and curled into a ball sobbing.
“Mido, can you stop the memory?” Celestia asked.
Mido did not respond.
“Mido?” Vegeta said, reaching out to him.
His hand went right through him.
“We’ve crossed into the copy,” Rasheed said. “Princess Luna.”
Luna lit her horn and everything froze.
Celestia rose in the air, lit her horn creating a spotlight on the ground, and followed the tracks back.
She returned sometime later. “We are easily 4 miles away, maybe even five.”
“Five… miles…” Rasheed mouthed, barely audible.
“Modern Canterlot tis only 11 miles at its longest, correct?” Luna asked.
“Yes, that means as long as there is a line of sight, a bullet can come from halfway across the city.”
“Assuming the shot was here.” Vegeta said. He turned to Rasheed, “You alright?”
Rasheed tilted his head slightly and gritted his teeth. He took a deep breath. “The coded message my brother sent with him claimed to have all relevant information. This was not in it.”
“Let’s continue before we assume the sultan lied by omission,” Celestia said. “The felis’s weapons only shoot a mile and a half at most. Adding another mile would be a reasonable improvement, I think.”
“(Ahmed? Ahmed?)” Mido sat next to him.
Ahmed just kept sobbing.
“(I know… I know… That was absolutely horrible, and completely unforgivable. Just cry and get it out of your system. I’ll make sure your retirement goes smoothly, and with as big a pension as possible.)” He began patting his shoulder. “(Just hurry up… ok?)”
After Ahmed cried himself out, they began walking back on all fours.
“(Don’t worry. We’ll pick up your jacket and boots on the way back. Everyone has to be too drunk to notice we disappeared for a few minutes.)”
“(What about your jacket? It’s cut.)”
“(I’ll toss it and say it got lost in the party. It’ll be a hit to the pay, but things happen in battle.)”
“(You could take mine…)”
“(No, don’t even think about it. I’ve lived and trained in the empire. I can lie about a missing coat more convincingly than you. Especially in your state right now.)”
“(Do you smell that?)” Ahmed suddenly said, stopping to sniff the air.
“(Smells like burnt wood and blood.)”
They changed direction and soon found a debris field and a corpse of a horse soldier with a solid metal plate armor.
Mido pulled a green lens on a chain out of a pocket and looked through it. “(It’s enchanted. Rather fancy circles. Definitely a higher up.)” He put it away.
“(What is this?)” Ahmed looked at the scene confused.
“(That’s a metal wheel over there,)” Mido pointed. “(This is from the trains headed south.)”
“(How much explosives did the Hessians use? We can’t be that far—)” Ahmed suddenly shouted and grabbed his head.
Mido could see the blood in between his fingers. “(Behind the horse!)” He shoved him.
The two got behind the corpse.
“(Let me see,)” he ordered.
Ahmed lifted his paw.
“(Just a graze,)” he said, relieved.
“(But we didn’t hear a shot! It can’t be the hors—)” A bullet came completely through the body and removed Ahmed’s head.
“(Ahme—)”
A bullet went through his upper arm, removing everything below it. Mido screamed as he curled up in pain.
Two more bullets went through Ahmed’s torso as Mido got a tourniquet around what was left of his arm and pulled it tight. Then, he used a fire crystal to burn the stump.
Another went through the corpse but hit nothing.
Then another came low to the ground and went through his calf, but didn’t completely remove the limb. Mido used his second tourniquet and knowing the limb was lost, finished it himself. But the kits only contained one fire crystal.
More bullets came through the horse’s body every minute. Mido managed to steal Ahmed’s medical pouch from his pants pocket and shoved its crystal into the gaping hole.
More bullets ripped through Ahmed.
Figuring the crystals had given the sniper’s light, he began crawling away trying to stay out of the line of sight.
Then he heard a metal ding.
Mido looked up and saw the large metal wheel propped up by its broken axel. He made his way over there and hid behind the inches of steel.
The vision froze as he passed out.
“Either that gun can shoot rapidly or they had multiple beads on them this whole time,” Vegeta said.
Celestia took to the air again.
“Less than four, but not by much,” she said when she returned. “Four miles at this accuracy. It would be safer to assume a longer range.”
“So, five it is then…” Rasheed said. “It explains why the mass assassination went off flawlessly. No one can guard against that.”
Vegeta stayed silent.
“Vegeta?” Luna asked.
“No. He’s right. Most governments only put in the effort to protect their highest officials by evacuating the populous and literal tons of shielding in case someone slips into the perimeter. Everyone else is on their own.”
“No one is going to believe this, even with evidence…” Celestia looked at Rasheed. “We are going to need Mido again. The best we can hope for is sharing this with a wider audience.”
“We were already going to call a royal session to introduce Vegeta and debunk his abilities as evil with the help of the eastern nations. Let’s expand the presentation and introduce the weapons at the same time.”
“And when will this be?” Rasheed asked.
“As soon as we can set it up. A few hours at most.”
“Then let’s end this and return us to the embassy. Mido will need time to recover.”
Luna nodded and lit her horn.
~~***~~
Everyone woke up.
Mido began sobbing, curling into an even tighter ball.
“We are glad you called off Twilight and Cadence, sister. Our memories are more recent to mind, but that was horrid even by ancient standards.”
Celestia closed her eyes. “At least it was quick, my poor Joe,” she said softly.
Mido’s ears twitched, and he began gasping for air and he got on his hand, knee, and stub.
“Mido, don’t force yourself,” Rasheed ordered.
Mido shook his head. “I… I have an oath to keep. Royal sisters, my memories are yours to use as you see fit.”
Luna looked around. “The girls are not here. We hope nothing bad happened in the last few minutes.”
Rasheed looked at the clock. “Ten minutes to spare. I say we hurry back to the embassy.”
“All… that was… barely… over seven… minutes?”
“Yes,” Luna leaned her head down. “Equestria thanks you for your strength, Mido.”
Celestia stood. “Yes. We will contact you shortly on how we will proceed.” She went to the door, “Twilight, Cad—”
“Princess, have you been crying?!!!!”
“Twillie, quiet!”
“But but but…”
“My dear Twilight, please come in for the teleport. We have no time to waste.”
~~***~~
Twilight quickly returned alone.
“Now…” Celestia dropped her noble facade, “Why were you not in the room when we awoke?”
“Twilight was freaked out by Mido’s lashing out in his sleep and tried to intervene early,” Cadence said. “She kept teleporting out of my grasp every time I tried to pull her away.”
“He was screaming and writhing around!” She pointed, “Look at the shredded pillows! Something clearly went wrong with the spell because of Vegeta!”
“And why do thee accuse Vegeta?” Luna demanded.
“Because dream magic doesn’t cause pain! And the only time it has is when Vegeta’s involved in a dreamwalk.”
“Your knowledge of dreamwalking is obscured by a thousand years of peace,” Luna said.
“I read Star Swirl’s treatise on night wounds. It said inflicting pain on others is impossible. Only you should have been in danger, but he was howling like a Timberwolf.”
“Young Twilight,” Luna said harshly, “Silence.”
Twilight shut her mouth, clicking her teeth.
Luna took a calming breath. “Recalling extreme memories can cause a being to lash out no different than a nightmare. No,” she raised her hoof when Twilight flinched, “We shall finish. One thousand years of peace, and the quick resolution of recent matters with no consequences of note, mean no pony in modern times have witnessed an event capable of such a reaction. Even our brave bearers. Thou hast no concept of war, little filly.”
Twilight’s ears fell at being called a child again.
Celestia sighed. “Now that the scolding is over with,” she laid back down. “Then let’s go over what we learned from the walk with you and Cadence in a way that won’t drive ponies into a catatonic state…”
~~***~~
Vegeta and Discord woke up in their room.
“Discord… What’s the tally?” Vegeta asked, exhausted.
“73 World War 1, 98 World War 2, and 19 times you flashed three.”
“World War 3 was the Unification War… I just flashed three when stuff was too advanced from what I know from history documentaries about the time.”
“So, not quite an even split, but favoring World War 2 and beyond.”
“Good job spotting the tire tracks and the drip line,” Vegeta told him. “Means they have wheeled vehicles and refined petroleum products.”
“More like I stepped in that black gunk,” Discord admitted.
“Well, if this planet mirrors Earth even in geology, Saudi Arabia and the Middle East in general had the biggest petroleum reserves in the world.”
“May want to share that with Prince Rasheed. Having one of the magic substitutes under his hooves sounds important.”
“I doubt Celestia will let that happen. Thanks for having a clear head in there.” Vegeta smirked, “And an empty stomach.”
“Don’t tease about something like that.” Discord looked out the window at the still sunny night. “I want to meet this man who is a god, devil, priest, and vengeance all at the same time and still sane.” Then he chuckled, “Well, as sane as your world seems to be.”
Vegeta rolled his eyes, “Piccolo is probably the closest to sane as any of us.” He changed topic, “Soooo, the being who keeps punching you in the face… ”
“Eh. Eh. Nope. Stop that question right there. It’s like I told Feiyu.”
Vegeta narrowed his eyes. “You literally hugged me…”
“There’s nothing wrong with a hug between friends, right?”
Vegeta rolled his eyes. He looked at the wall. His thoughts drifted to the red-haired unicorn. “So… let’s peg you as a spirit of harmony, whatever your mortal name is. Then there’s this mother of the skies, probably a Korin analog, may even be the guardian. Or maybe the guardian is Fate. It’s important enough of a concept. Either way…”
Vegeta sighed.
“They are all useless...”
Vegeta’s eyes suddenly widened. “Lawrence of Arabia! Fucking hell, I watched the movie last month!”
~~***~~
At the embassy, Rasheed was barking orders. “Get Mido a calming tea at once!” He leaned down, “Mido. Recline on the pillows and rest up. This won’t be the last time you endure this.”
“Yes… my lord.”
Rasheed then gave a shocking public show of affection by rubbing his head on his wife’s neck. “Alone. Please.”
~~***~~
The two went to the bedroom.
“You’re going to make my position in the herd more difficult when the rumors fly home to roost.”
“You are saying my sole broodmare cannot control the others in the harem palace?”
“I would prefer the neglecting of your duties as a stallion not expose me to the ire of your brother. Especially now that undetectable poison will be harder to get from the alchemists.”
“Yes, all the griffons and hippogriffs are being driven from the sultanate… but darling, where is the instant scroll? Have you written on it yet?”
“No, why?”
He got close and whispered, “The griffons have kidnapped and murdered Princess Celestia’s husband.”
“She had a left hoof?” she asked, shocked.
“Yes, we need to warn the sultan. All that is going to be left of Equus is cinders…
“And there is no way to tell who will be standing on top the ashes at the end.”
Chapter 28: Introductions
Chapter 28: Introductions
Official letters arrived at every embassy and noble house. There was going to be an announcement and meeting concerning the rumored dark mage and the delayed setting of the sun. Along with…
“The being that is the origin of the rumored dark mage will be present remotely as he is conscious and stable but is still in critical condition in hospital. All may meet and question him. Only a maximum of two representatives of each noble house will be allowed into the throne room. We ask each embassy to limit themselves to two representatives and a maximum of three staff as space is finite. If any embassies would rather attend remotely, Princess Luna will personally come to the embassy to set up the magical links required, but the attendance limit will remain. If this is your wish, send word by 6:00 am. All Equestrian nobles must attend in pony. Arrive no later than 6:30 am.”
Irmhild looked up from the scroll, “Does yours say the same thing?”
“Yes, it is identical.”
“What are your plans?”
“I’m contacting all my supporters. A copy of the letter will be mass printed and distributed as a flier to prep the commoners. I am arranging to press the princesses and this mage to trip them up in front of the others. They have had absolutely no sleep while we have slept. We have an hour to respond. Then most likely another hour for preparations and everyone to arrive. More than enough time to get our scripts together to frame this how we need it. If you could send some griffons to the caves to check on your supplies while mine make sure our end is in order, we can proceed with the final steps. Everything else is ready.”
“I’ve had communication with the emperor. Our archeological and scholarly efforts have put us in position to antagonize Princess Luna, but it was up to us to time its public reveal. I’ll contact our partners and we can pull a pincer move to break both princesses and provoke the dark mage together.”
“Oh? Care to share so we can coordinate better?” came from the box on his desk.
Irmhild pressed the button on his microphone, “No need. But let’s just say we rediscovered the origins of the six-foot long golden feathers on the sultan’s battle crown’s plume and other ceremonial items.”
On the other side of the city, Poppycock smirked and pressed the button on his microphone. “I can imagine, coming from you.”
“I will see you sometime around 7,” came from the box on the pony’s desk.
~~***~~
Celestia and Cadence were in the correspondence teleportation room. They had locked out the servants.
Celestia yawned, then guzzled more coffee.
“Please don’t do that…” Cadence said, soon yawning herself.
Luna came into the side room. “Fancy Pants and Fleur do not wish to participate. Twilight has passed out on her own, all but Lady Applejack are asleep. Seems even with the sun still high her body continues to wake on its own in what should be right before dawn. Discord understands why he should not be present. Vegeta is ready and is under spell.”
Celestia looked at the clock. “It will be 6:30 or even 7 before we start.”
“Yes, I’m sure Poppycock and his supporters will drag their arrival out as long as possible to deprive us of more sleep,” Luna said. “We have enough rebuke scrolls prepared?”
“Fifty,” Cadence said. “If they are not in the throne room by 6:40, they are not getting in.” She looked to her right at the pile of flowers, “And we have flowers for all the sick excuses.”
A scroll popped in on the runic altar. “It’s from the Wu embassy on behalf of the eastern nations, they wish to remain at their embassy for safety reasons. It is Pixiu’s choice whether to be in the throne room or to sleep in another room.”
“We see they figured out what we are up to,” Luna said.
Another scroll appeared. Cadence grabbed it. “Prince Rasheed said to give them twenty minutes before we teleport over there and put them to sleep. They are going over everything with staff to make it look like they are not involved while Mido hides before being introduced.”
A new scroll popped in. Celestia grabbed it.
“And here’s the first noble asking it to be pushed back.” Celestia handed it off to Cadence, “Mark the seal and send the reply.”
“Earl Jetset, of course,” she said, transferring the seal to send back. “Do you want to customize the letter slightly to respond to his comment about his wife’s health? He’s being very submissive and apologetic. Practically begging. She might actually be sick.”
“Add condolences and say if his wife cannot attend, he may come alone.”
“What side is this earl on?” Luna asked.
“He’s a fair-weather suck up,” Celestia said, looking annoyed.
Three new scrolls popped in. Celestia smiled reading the first one. “We will need to write a custom letter. Marchioness Pumpernickel is asking how early she can arrive. And that she’s coming by herself and alone.”
Celestia opened the second, “And this is her son asking us to refuse his mother or at least have him come with her.”
She opened the third, “And this is her again telling us to formally rebuke her son.” Celestia giggled. “Old Lady Pumpernickel is coming out of retirement. She was one of my favorite conversation partners despite her scandalous love life in her youth.” She sighed, “Then she stopped talking to me… That old battle axe will definitely be a wild card. She hasn’t been part of active society in thirty years. But her title is high enough to intimidate lower nobles and she was feared in her youth.”
“What side is her son on?” Luna asked.
“I don’t know.”
“It would be safer to assume any publicly neutral factions have ties with Duke Poppycock.”
“Duke Poppycock was one of the main reasons their house fell. If he was courting them…” Celestia paused, “That would be a major red flag. Cadence, give me a blank scroll. I need to check with Prince Blueblood.”
A new scroll appeared. Celestia smiled. “This is a good sign. At least for the motives of the acting marquess. I believe the two will be unbiased on Vegeta.”
“Why is that?” Luna walked over and peeked.
“They are asking if one of her stillborn’s children can come as a compromise, in the guise of an attendant. A public display like this would normally be the biggest news in the gossip papers, if it wasn’t for Vegeta.”
“They are turning this into a political maneuver. Or perhaps a distraction,” Cadence said.
“I doubt Lord Balmont would do that. As close as he was to his older brother, her three youngest sons are all from various love affairs with prominent stallions and can only inherit the titles she inherited from her maiden house. Publicly recognizing her oldest son she had prior to the marriage and his children would cost his brothers everything. Cadence, give me another blank scroll. I need to tell them I accept.”
Suddenly at least thirty more scrolls landed, many rolling off the altar and onto the floor.
Celestia began opening them. “Duke Poppycock is asking for an extension. Same with Marquess Blarney,” she looked at the two held in her magic.
She levitated and opened three more. Then she put the duke and marquess’ down on the table and opened another three more.
“These are all identical. Exact same wording… Luna, write all these names down on a list. These must be his allies.” She picked up all the scrolls off the altar and placed them on the floor in front of Luna.
“We would think they would pace them out more,” Luna said, taking up paper and quill, “A thousand years hast dumbed down our subjects.”
“An unused blade is never sharpened. It is the price of peace,” Celestia said.
Another scroll landed. “Oh… Lord Fire Whirl is asking to represent the Council of Magic as First Wizard while his children act independently as representatives of his house. I completely forgot about the council.”
“We’ll write that letter,” Luna took it from her magic. “We can’t allow the members to gang up on Vegeta if they all choose to represent their houses to get in.”
“Ok…” Celestia rubbed her temples, “Is there anything we could be forgetting or overlooking?”
“We don’t think so,” Luna said. “Princess Twilight has been coached to keep her mouth shut. Vegeta has a basic understanding of history and politics. He was there when Pixiu gave us a history of Starswirl and the mirror we did not know previously. He wants to lean into this being a first contact situation, that he is an immigrant to Earth, and the tribe he married into is on the opposite side of the planet and has very little knowledge of the tribes and cultures over there to explain his supreme ignorance of Buddhism and the mirror.
“And we know from our end, the mirror never had a stable outlet and originally would jump around up to 100 miles and decades in time displacement between uses before abandoning it in Teabit to our knowledge. We discovered it in his lab and were surprised it still existed, as the last time either of us saw it was when we were fillies and kept it as one of many mementos.
“Pixiu tells us the mirror suddenly stabilized on his visit and he lost control, unable to turn it off again. He left it there for further study and continued on his journey. It was open for 160 years, fostering major cities on both sides before it suddenly shut, trapping many on the other side. Starswirl was contacted to fix it which is why we found it in his possession after his disappearance.”
“I still think we’re forgetting something…”
“Most likely nerves. Vegeta sees things in a fundamentally different way, so his reactions are unpredictable to an extent. But we have explanations on the mirror. Pixiu, the ambassadors, and Vegeta will have explanations on ki and black powder based on their own experiences.”
Celestia sighed. “Alright… Just need to trust Vegeta… trust Vegeta… trust Vegeta…”
~~***~~
While Luna was jumping around embassies, ponies began to arrive.
Celestia went to greet the early comers, and her eyes widened seeing the marchioness. Then she smiled melancholically.
“Hello, Marchioness Pumpernickel. It has been too long.”
“Yes it has. My children are far too protective... And don’t look at me like that,” she said harshly, “I know that look. My head is still on straight and sharp as a knife.”
“I am glad to see that, and so is your tongue I see.” She looked behind her, “So, who is this lovely pony pushing your wheelchair?”
“Oh, you know exactly who she is.” Lady Pumpernickel waved her wrinkled hoof, “You’re the one who got her father into the country as a foal. And don’t worry about condolences. I know how things work. It’s unfortunate hippogriffs age faster than they should.”
Celestia smiled and met the pegasis’ eyes. “Greetings Robin Song. I must comment that your feathers are absolutely exquisite.”
Robin was a pink pegasus with red hair and tail. Her wings were longer than usual and her wing feathers were tipped with red. She also had thick red feathers down her neck and over her chest.
“Most ponies consider me a freak,” she said, cringing at the compliment.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Lady Pumpernickel scolded. “Princess Celestia, help find this silly filly a husband, will you? She’s 64 and hasn’t even had one date.”
“Marchioness?!” Robin said, shocked.
The handful of nobles that had also come early gawked.
Celestia giggled. “I’ve missed this. Tell your sons to start inviting me out to the country estate if he considers you too weak to travel.”
Lady Pumpernickel’s face hardened. “My sons have been lying to my face about you declining my invites, haven’t they?”
Celestia’s face also turned grim, “I have also been declined.”
“I see,” she smiled. “Well,” she tapped her hooves together. “I’m so glad you’ve finally gotten over A la Mode’s passing. You must have your new ‘favorite’ chef cook for us while we discuss inheritance matters.”
Celestia couldn’t hide the look on her face.
The old pony’s face fell, “Oh, princess. I’m so sorry. I—”
Celestia made everyone gasp again as she raised her wing around her chair in an act of familiarity. “No need. It was recent. But I’ll make sure to ask the staff of his restaurant if they would be willing to cook his specialties for our catch-up luncheon.”
Lady Pumpernickel smiled, “I look forward to the gossip. Come on, Robin. Push me in and let’s meet this scary monster from the newspapers.”
“Marchioness, who was A la Mode?” she whispered, pushing her away.
“The family chef the castle poached after my marriage to the marquess,” Celestia heard her whisper back. “She really loved what he had to offer,” she giggled.
Celestia went on to greet more nobles, then she spotted some ponies she did not want to see.
While being on the council required the abdication of a noble title, the technically five-member council had consolidated across several families: Marquesses Pyro, Counts Hospitaler, Earls Boltz, Viscounts Auster, Counts Piedmont, and Marquesses Metis. While Viscounts Aquarius were originally members, their lack of skilled mages in recent generations had isolated them from socializing in these important circles.
“Lord Fire Whirl,” she smiled. “I see you’ve come with your children and the children of the rest of the council.”
“Yes, your sister’s letter was quite explicit. She seems to want to protect the dark mage from the only ponies who actually know the deep ins and outs of magic outside the princesses. But don’t worry, my colleagues have not skimped on the education of their children. There will be twice as many skilled examiners present than there would be otherwise. Let’s see if this dark mage is truly harmless or if your compassion and past successes have made you overconfident and blind.”
He lifted his nose and walked in, and the sons and daughters followed without any greetings to the princess in a very public snub.
~~***~~
After the first arrivals had run out, she went to the dining hall to meet the 23 ponies that had shown up so far.
“I would think the tea would help wake you up,” a noble said.
Another yawned. “Yes, these entrées seem to be making it worse.”
Lord Fire Whirl and the adult children all had tea cups and various cookies suspended in their magic.
“Hmm…” the Countess of Hospitaler said after examining a cup of tea and a cookie in her magic. “These are all things meant to relax and tire a pony out instead of waking them up.”
The others all nodded.
“I believe this meeting will be a massive mind spell cast by Princess Luna,” the Marquess of Metis said. “It would explain why she is the one visiting the embassies instead of the lesser princesses or a high ranking official. Delivering speaking stones does not take one of the diarchs.”
“Can one be cast that large?” the Marquess of Pyro asked. “There will be at least 200 ponies, and then the invited ambassadors.”
“Son, this is the princess of the night we are talking about,” Lord Fire Whirl said, “My concern is that it has been stated in the rumors and papers that his dark magic can reach out and have physical effects on ponies within dream spells.”
“Do you really think it is possible for dark magic to heal?” the Viscount of Auster asked.
“Perhaps a twisted version of necromancy that can be done on living flesh, based on the horrid job described in the papers by the doctor present. Regenerative spells aimed at corpses don’t need to be surgically precise.”
“Still, a weapons coating that can swart normal healing magic is a massive development,” Count of Piedmont said. “A bowling pin tender would not be able to do that with just any pebble off the street.”
“Didn’t you hear?” the countess said. “Bocce is the nephew of the Coneys. They and the Oranges are the only survivors of a poisoned banquet Princess Celestia teleported into to stop. Mother was told it was a magic immune poison from her hospital in Manehattan that the princess was desperate to suppress the existence of. I also heard that Lady Applejack is a niece of the Oranges.”
“Bocce is also the son of Kingpin from Las Pegasus,” the Marquess of Pyro said. “He and his ex-wife were murdered today. Two huge explosions rocked her mansion and his skyscraper. Princess Celestia is said to have been there as well. One of my students can’t figure out what explosion spell was used and asked me to come today to consult.”
“Rarity was with Lady Aquafina all day,” one of the wives said. “There was a brown stallion with her levitating dozens of shopping bags at once. If I had not seen it with my own eyes, I would not have believed the gossip.”
“I thought she was with Duke Fancy Pants and Fleur dis Lee?” Earless Boltz said. “Though there was also a brown stallion with them. There was some slight gossip that he could have been Rarity’s new lover, as no pony recognized him.”
“The suspect named in the papers was described to be a brown stallion with a special talent in levitation. He is also a native of Ponyville, the home town for most of the Bearers. He’s not some pony off the streets, that’s for sure…” Lord Fire Whirl said. “And then there was the battle and the arrests of the Aquariuses today with Marquess Blaney appointed as their defender by his uncle-in-law, Judge Blackstone.”
“I… don’t like where this is going,” a husband said. “In either possibility.”
“Neither do I,” Lord Fire Whirl said, “BUT, that is not why we are here. The council has always been a neutral body and family ties have always been a major disqualifier for the posts. We are here as impartial investigators to find the truth of the dark mage and the accusation made by the doctor that Lady Pinkie Pie has become a practitioner. What the various political factions do with that knowledge is not our problem.”
Celestia sighed. “Starswirl would strangle all of you if he heard that…” she thought. She went to speak with other nobles.
“I… think the princess heard you,” one of the wives said. “She just sighed and changed direction.”
“Good,” Lord Fire Whirl said. “Now she knows we will not bow to her propaganda.”
“Umm, Countess Hospitaller,” one of the wives leans in, “Do you know what's wrong with that poor pegasis, the pink one.”
“Oh, nothings wrong with her,” Lord Fire Whirl said. “Her father was a hippogriff. Dreikernebrot, I think his name was. It’s rare in Equestria, but over in Eulope where intermarriage is more common, you’ll see ponies with feather blotches, as they are called. Weird things happen when races mix. On my magical sojourn for my philosopher’s degree in my 90s, I saw an earth pony with back feathers and rooster-like quills instead of a proper tail walking next to a pinto coated horse, but instead of solid brown it was zebra striped. Silliest thing I ever saw.”
“Wow, I feel sorry for their children,” she said.
While the group laughed. Robin Song spun the seething marchioness around and pushed her away as fast as possible.
Celestia sipped out of her tea cup. “Maybe instead of giving her one of the family’s lower titles, I should just make her and her siblings all dukes and appoint them over their families?” she mused. “See them laugh then.” She took another sip. “At least Luna isn’t back yet. Don’t need her and Pumpernickel teaming up and causing a major incident with the council.”
~~***~~
A guard came up to Celestia and whispered in her ear.
“I have been told more beings have arrived,” she said to her conversation companions, “Excuse me.”
Celestia returned to the staircase. She greeted the Trottish and Prench ambassadors, two earth ponies.
“I’m surprised you both came alone,” she said. “I allowed up to three staff.”
“I believe your nobles will be ripping this dark mage apart more thoroughly than we can,” the Prench ambassador said. He looked at his counterpart, “Our main concern is why you’ve broken your magical contract and not set the sun. While modern clocks have alleviated the exact timing for sunrise in industry and white-collar work, there will be economic impacts, especially in agriculture and forestry.”
“Not to mention increased costs for artificial lighting in the cities,” the Trottish ambassador chimed in. “Once all the costs are totaled, I will warn you, you will find yourself very busy in the near future.”
“Thank you for the warning,” Celestia said stiffly. “Please enter the dining hall just ahead. We will all enter the throne room once Princess Luna returns.”
Celestia made her way through the line of ambassadors. Muskox, Zebras, Okapis, Horses, Elephas, Garuda, Emus, Ostrich, Shetlands, Caribou, Minotaur, Water Buffalo, even a Bison warrior with Applejack’s cousin.
“Princess Celestia,” the Bison nodded.
Braeburn took his hat off. “Good day, princess, ma’am,” he said nervously.
“So, what brought you to the capital?” Celestia asked, surprised.
“The elders felt a huge swing with the spirits during a sweat lodge three days ago. We came to Appleoosa, and I was selected to relay the warning. We were already on the train when the sun stood still. As it was the moon refusing to set that cursed your sister, I can say with confidence the whole tribe is very concerned even without contact.”
Celestia smiled, “Well, I’m glad the guards accidently let you pass without an invitation. Have either of you read the newspapers by any chance?”
“No, ma’am. Princess Celestia, umm ma’am.”
“Well, Applejack is awake. I think it’s best you hear what’s been happening from her. If you two could go into that room with everyone else for a moment until I’m done here, I’ll get a guard to take you to Applejack.”
The bison nodded and walked into the room with Braeburn hurrying after him.
“You invited the bison, I’m glad to see you are putting your hoof where your mouth is.”
Celestia turned back and saw the Nordic, Gotalandic, and Laplandic ambassadors; a hippogriff, a griffon, and a reindeer.
“Now the next time the imperialists complain,” the reindeer continued, “They cannot use you as a role model.” He looked knowingly at the others.
“If you keep wanting our help to fight off Muskovy,” the griffon said, “Just keep smiling.”
The hippogriff sighed, “Our apologies, Princess Celestia.”
“Of course, Prince Eric Haraldsson. How are your parents?”
“As well as my father can be now that his home province is under HRE occupation.”
“When did this happen?”
“I just got word a few days ago. The griffons in the local parliaments voted for independence and immediately opened the southern gates for the waiting HRE army. They have not moved past the southern provinces into northern Jutland yet. I suppose the Trottish ambassador did not mention a thing?”
“How are they involved?”
“Because Jutland’s pony population comes from the ones who left willingly when you banished the Danelaw. They have offered citizenship back, but only to those who can prove not having a griffon or hippogriff in the family tree even by marriage for four generations back to the founding of the Danelaw.”
“Your grandmother should have more compassion,” Celestia said firmly.
“I’m also the only one of her grandsons who never bled to death as a foal. That’s not helping the anti-pony propaganda. Trust me, mom and I are dead to them.”
“It’s not propaganda if it’s true.”
“Margrave Olov,” Prince Eric said frustrated.
“We are allowing every pony and hippogriff that washes up on our shores in without a second thought while your parents have shut down travel between your northern and southern territories to keep the pony population high enough to stop another vote. Where do your parents think the emperor is currently getting his main courses from?”
“All right,” the reindeer said, “That’s enough now. All of our nations are feeling pressure from the ambition across the straits.”
“Thank you, Friherre Eetu,” Prince Eric said.
Celestia leaned in slightly. “Enough public posturing,” she whispered. “I know you all are Ogres & Oubliettes buddies. What do all of you want?”
Prince Eric had a wide-eyed, shocked look on his face.
Margrave Olov did not miss a beat. “While the HRE has won over many of the commoners, the nobles are sympathetic to you. We all hope this dark mage is everything the papers say he is, because dreams won’t be enough this time.”
Celestia raised her head with a disdained look on her face. “Go in. Keep the bickering to a minimum. When I’m done, I will gladly introduce you to the others. One at a time.”
Friherre Eetu bowed, “I look forward to it.”
He walked through the door, and the two others followed.
“How did she know that?” Celestia heard Prince Eric whisper as they entered.
“I’ll show it to you later,” Margrave Olov whispered back.
Celestia thought back to the last time she dragged Joe to Canterlot’s biggest nerd convention for her little sin. It was the first visit with him post-changeling invasion, and she had noticed three ponies had triggered the warning spell in her earrings. A clandestine spell singled them out, and she left Joe in her wake as she abruptly changed directions.
She found them. An archer, a wizard wearing fantasy jeweler’s glasses, and a druid. She recognized the spell as amulet based and spent the rest of the day trying to trip them up. Walking by the fish stalls after dragging them around without food did it as the wizard slapped the hungry archer upside his head.
They stopped to eat. She, the archer and the druid had hayburgers. The wizard ate nothing. So at least the archer was omnivorous, while the druid was an herbivore.
Joe found the group in the food court and was not happy about being abandoned.
“Don’t run off like that,” Joe said as he sat down, “Made me think there was an emergency.” He then stole her burger right from her magic and took a bite.
The wizard freaked out. “What the hay do you think you’re doing?!” he said, the spell not completely able to hide the squawk.
“Punishing my wife,” he said, taking another bite.
The wizard began fiddling with the glasses, flipping through the half dozen or so colored lenses…
“Oh buck …” Celestia suddenly said loudly as the next group climbed the steps, causing the whole room to come to a stop and look at her.
~~***~~
Not long later, Luna returned and joined her sister at the steps.
“Everything is taken care of, sister,” she whispered. “They are already waiting in the dream copy of the throne room, except for two in the side room. Pixiu wants to make an entrance. He’s hiding with Feiyu and waiting for the griffons to make a scene.”
“Good,” she whispered back.
Luna turned to look down the steps and saw two ponies walk in. “Oh, stars, she really is sick.” Luna spread her wings and glided down, startling everyone. She landed in front of the duo.
“Princess Luna,” Jetset bowed as his wife wobbled.
“We wrote that you could come alone without penalty, Earl Jetset.”
“This is going to be the biggest event all year, I simply must come,” Uppercrust said firmly.
Luna sighed, “Alright. If you insist. But let’s get you two directly into the throne room and resting. Would you like to have some tea?”
“Forgive me, but I haven’t been able to keep anything down since this afternoon,” Uppercrust apologized.
Luna smiled understandingly. “That is quite alright. Now let’s get you ready in the throne room. We’ll go down a side hall to avoid the other nobles in the dining hall. Follow me.”
Celestia saw Luna take the two through a side door down below.
Then there was a commotion at the door.
Duke Poppycock came in, closely followed by almost ninety other ponies.
Celestia scanned the faces. “There’s more houses here than the 32 letters,” she thought. “They are not hiding anything anymore. This is a public power play.”
“Duke Poppycock, welcome to the palace.”
“Princess,” he bowed.
“I see you came with your relatives. Greetings, Marquess Blarney and Judge Blackstone.”
“Princess,” Judge Blackstone bowed.
Blarney did not bow, just grinned.
Celestia gave a noble smile, “Please head towards the dining hall. We have snacks and tea to help ponies get ready for the meeting. Many beings have already arrived, so you have a plethora of conversation partners to choose from while you wait.”
“Wait? It’s clearly the cut off time.”
“The Griffon Imperial representatives have not arrived yet. We are giving them a few more minutes out of courtesy. But if they don’t arrive soon, then they will simply have to hear everything secondhand. Now if you could please head to the dining hall. There is a large line of high-ranking nobles and government officials behind you.”
Poppycock looked behind him. “Yes, all the important ponies who truly run this country are behind me.” He looked at his nephew, “Come on, Marquess Blarney, let’s see who has come to the event.”
The two walked off. Celestia hid her emotions and greeted a disturbing amount of her government’s high-ranking officials and those who physically ran the capital city. Then she spotted a pony.
“Lord Rye, welcome.”
“It is good to see you, princess.”
“Lord Rye, while I thank you for coming, your mother is already here with a plus one.”
“My mother? Lord Belmont was supposed to come for House Derby.”
“Well, your mother won that argument, she is here with an attendant to help with her wheelchair.”
“But only members of a noble house can enter. The invite denied us servants.”
“You are correct. Only members of House Derby are here.”
Lord Rye took a sharp breath, realizing the statement’s implications. “I’m here as the head of House Panera,” he asserted.
“Which won’t exist as a separate entity until your mother’s passing, no matter how much Marquess Blarney introduces you as Viscount Panera.”
Celestia smiled, “Yes, I know all about that. Just because the recent crises have kept me from socializing, doesn’t mean I’m not on top of the trends. While I am overjoyed you and your siblings are climbing the social circles, this time I must insist. You’re not the first to try and get in here using a lesser title and I cannot play favorites, as much as I dearly want to in your case.” She touched him with her wing, “You all know how precious you all are to me. This is only the first of many meetings. You will have plenty of opportunities to socialize with our guest of honor in the weeks to come.”
“You intend to have the dark mage join in on the season?” he said surprised.
He said it loud enough it echoed through the room, bringing everyone to a stop.
“If he is well enough. He should recover from his injuries in time for the last few events. Now, to save face, we do have a lounge set up and there are already ponies there.”
“Are you sure I cannot partake in the morning entrée and simply not attend the meeting in the throne room?”
“I’m sorry. I cannot. But like I said, the lounge is full and we also have food and drink waiting. Why don’t I guide you there myself to ease the sting.”
“That… would be acceptable.”
Celestia nodded and the two walked off. Guards took their place at the top of the stairs to prevent ponies from sneaking in.
In the room, Duke Poppycock was quickly told the news.
“I see. Blarney, you and the younger lords start spreading what she said about the season around. I need to see the marchioness and fill her in on the way things are now after thirty years.”
~~***~~
Celestia was still making her way through the long line when the griffons finally arrived. Irmhild and Ermendrud were there, and they had brought double the allotted staff.
Celestia frowned. “Pardon me, my little ponies.” She opened her wings and flew down.
“Ambassador Irmhild. Legatus Ermendrud. Welcome to the castle.” She looked behind them, “I’m sorry. But you will need to select half of your retinue and we will escort the other half to comfortable accommodations while they wait.”
“What? Why? We are all here. We all clearly need to go in. What hospitality is this?!”
“It is not a matter of hospitality. It is an issue of the limits of—”
“The throne room can clearly hold over one thousand beings!”
“— the communication spell being used. There is a hard maximum and quality diminishes the more beings there are regardless. This is for everyone’s ease and comfort.”
“What poor quality spell causes this level of limitations? Is this the limit of the resources the royal sisters can muster? I—”
Irmhild felt the ground tremble. He heard his guards shout and he turned around.
A huge bipedal towering higher than even the princesses ducked though the doors. It was wearing robes and a hood and had black fur and bear-like paws.
“Monk Pixiu,” Celestia walked over. “You had us worried. Welcome.”
It put its paws together and bowed, “Sorry I was late.”
The griffons felt the air shake in their chests.
Feiyu flew up next. He was wearing a sash with a medal bearing the dotted swastika.
“And Lord Feiyu, welcome to Equestria,” she nodded to the cloud.
The cloud bounced and twisted in the air.
“He says it is his pleasure,” Pixiu said. He looked at the griffons. “Princess, would you mind introductions?”
“No, of course not.” She turned, “Monk Pixiu, Lord Feiyu, these are the Holy Gryphon Empire’s ambassador Irmhild and his son Ermendrud. This is Lord Feiyu of the Kintu’on and his fellow ambassador and translator, Monk Pixiu.”
“A pleasure,” Pixiu said. “Excuse me, but I see more griffons here than the message allowed.”
“Griffons never skip on security,” Celestia said, looking at them with a knowing smile. “Now that they are safe in the palace, the extra guards will be waiting outside while being treated by staff for their troubles. Isn’t that right, Ambassador Irmhild?
“Yes…” he said after a pause. “We were just about to separate.”
“I see. I apologize for the misunderstanding,” Pixiu said. “I would hate for our nations to get off on the wrong foot.”
“Yes, I would hate that as well,” Irmhild said, craning his neck to look up at his darkened face under the hood.
“Well, I’m glad you three finally met,” Celestia said. Then she cast a spell and a path on the floor glowed. “Please follow me.”
“I see. Again, I apologize for breaking your stone floors last time I was here.”
“Nothing to apologize for. Accidents happen.” She looked at Irmhild. “Sorry, Irmhild. But I must escort them personally for obvious reasons.”
“Monk Pixiu? And Lord Feiyu! Welcome.” Luna trotted over.
“Luna, perfect timing. Can you help Ambassador Irmhild? He was about to separate his extra guards so the rest can attend the meeting.”
“I would love to,” Luna trotted over to the griffons. “If all of you would follow me this way, we can get everyone not coming comfortable before the rest head to the throne room. We are running a little late.”
“Alright,” Irmhild said carefully. “Come on everyone.”
Luna led them away and Celestia took them up the steps. “That use of ki would be quite frightening if I didn’t know what was happening. I felt the pressure in my chest.”
“I do feel bad for the deception, but Vegeta was correct, it did make quite an introduction to the griffons.”
Feiyu twisted.
“Feiyu found it funny,” Pixiu said.
He twisted again.
“He said his sash idea also seems to have solved the misunderstanding he suffered from Princess Twilight.”
“Yes,” Celestia said. “Or at least it is giving ponies pause with all the other races here.”
They came to the dining hall.
The room went silent as the imposing being ducked to enter the room.
“A Kintu’on!” Lord Nanda shouted, surprised. He and his scarred guard ran over and immediately bowed. But what really left every being’s jaws on the floor were the ambassadors from the Golden Herd galloping over then kneeling on their front knees.
“Rise,” the large robed being said and the group immediately began speaking in other languages.
The two Garudas flapped into the air to see, then immediately went over and bowed themselves. They were invited by the large being into the conversation.
“Do you know what a Kintu’on is, Olov?” Prince Eric asked.
“No, I don’t,” he said. “But he seems to be familiar and highly respected to the Asian nations. The Golden Herd refuses to bow to no one but the Great Khan himself, and they ran and immediately hit their knees.”
“Princess Celestia is with him, perhaps we can contact the palace later for a formal introduction?”
“I’m glad you’re finally remembering proper protocol, since you’ve been gawking at that feathered mare since we entered the room.”
“You can’t think she’s not pretty.”
“She’s a very stunning false pegasus, but she is also clearly a servant. That is the issue. You need to learn to ignore individuals like that.”
Eetu tapped them, “Speaking of which, they are coming over.”
“(Good day, gentle beaks,)” Lady Pumpernickel said in perfect griffon. “(I keep seeing you looking in my direction.)”
The three looked surprised. “(My apologies for my junior’s wayward glances.)”
“(Oh, don’t be. My granddaughter is beautiful, isn’t she?)”
“Marchioness!” Robin Song said shocked. She immediately bowed. “(My father was illegitimate. We are all servants.)”
“(Then you’re the wealthiest and most spoiled damned servants in the country,)” Lady Pumpernickel turned back to them. “(Equestria can be backwards and awful in the worst ways possible. Please young stallion, tell this silly mare how beautiful she is. Oh, before things escalate too far, there’s no Gotaland ambassadors in your direct ancestry, is there?)”
“(No, I am from the United Kingdom of Norway and Jutland.)
“(Oh good. I had a fling with a Gotaland griffon in Prance back when I was young. Just needed to check, you understand.)”
Olov’s jaw dropped. “Lady Pumpernickel of House Panera?”
“(I’m Marchioness of House Derby now, but are you related to Gunther?)”
“(My great grandfather, he had many love letters and a locket with a picture of a pony with that name engraved among his possessions when he passed.)”
“(Ah, how sweet of him. It was only that spring and summer season.)”
He looked at Robin, “(And you say this is his granddaughter?)”
“(Yes, my son, bless him, died a few years ago at 153. But Robin and her siblings are all aging like ponies, so that was a relief for him and their mother.”)
“(You must be over 200,)” Prince Eric said.
Lady Pumpernickel laughed, “(Nothing of the sort, I was only 21 when Gunther swept me off my hooves under the promenade lights.)”
“(He never mentioned a child.)”
“(I was locked up the second my maids reported my bleeding lapsed,)” she spoke like it was the funniest story in the world. “(If it wasn’t for my mother intervening and sending me to a chateau in the countryside before my father found out, her father would not have been allowed to ever happen. When he found out, he demanded what orphanage she dropped him off at, or by the sun and moon he’d kill every hippogriff in the damn country. Then he shipped us both back to Equestria and never returned from Eulope even after his tenure ended. I was sold to my husband in lieu of my mother’s gambling debts. He was in his 140s and I wasn’t even thirty yet. He divorced his last wife after having their sixth daughter and brought me in. Then he had a lovely run-in with a teacup. I’m glad I can smell almonds. Anyway, it was also lucky I gave birth to a boy, so I only had to give her and her daughters two thirds of everything in the lawsuit, but that still left me one of the wealthiest mares in the country. If I had had a daughter, we would have been on the streets. Actually, I saw four of the sisters and their husbands chatting earlier. Why don’t I go over there and leave you and Robin to catch up.)”
Lady Pumpernickel lit her horn, grabbed her wheels with her magic, and raced off.
“Marchioness, Wait!” Robin Song galloped after her.
“I think I just met my wife,” Prince Eric said in awe.
The margrave slapped him upside his head. “Get your pecker back in its sheath. Eetu, babysit this lovesick cub for me.”
He went after them.
Before he caught up, he saw Poppycock intercept them.
“Marchioness, it has been a long time. I’m surprised to see you in the capital. You’re usually at your country estate being tended by your eldest.”
“I don’t know where you heard that,” Lady Pumpernickel smiled curtly, “but just because these old bones aren’t actively out and about during the season, doesn’t mean I’m not in the city enjoying the summer air. You’ve been talking to my second son a lot as of late judging by the tower of invites I found in the lord mansion’s office. Is the director of the city’s water management so interesting to you? Or do you have a secret love of spelunking no one knows about?”
Poppycock smiled, “I haven’t spotted any of your sons here. Where are they?”
“At home. I am the head of House Derby, as I’ve had to lecture my children lately. And an event this big requires the head of the house.”
“Then who is your second?”
Robin Song then caught up.
“Oh, your featherbed’s daughter, of course.”
“Excuse me,” Margrave Olov then arrived, “It may just be my hearing, but did you just call my cousin a featherbed?”
Poppycock's eyes went wide, “Cousin?”
“Yes, unlike Equestria, griffons make sure to care and cherish our accidents well.” He turned to the mares, “Thank you for bringing Robin Song to the event. Equestrian diplomatic practices give so little opportunity for proper meetings.”
“It was my absolute pleasure to finally have you two meet face to face,” she said, picking up quickly. She looked at Poppycock. “But now that the nobility’s greatest gossiper knows the relationship, there may be opportunity for her openly being in your presence from now on without worrying about clandestine rumors.”
“Yes, that is true. I could finally visit your son’s grave as well.”
“A son?”
“Yes, I know you met Dreikernebrot a few times. He died three years ago. You were always the one saying none of my children have the same father during events when you were younger, weren’t you? You were absolutely obsessed with the idea I spent so much time with a hippogriff. And here I thought you changed your opinion on matters since you have been trying to court support from my family.”
“But you were only twenty years apart.”
“And? Isn’t it normal for beings the same age to have relationships. Perhaps if noble lives were different, you would be a margravine instead of a marchioness.”
“Thank you, margrave,” she put her hoof on his shoulder, “But then you and my lovely grandchildren wouldn’t be here.”
“Marchioness, this is embarrassing,” Robin pleaded.
“Don’t be.” She turned around. “Now that we have proof of the relationship from the margrave, I can get you three entitled. Maybe even with the ones I inherited from House Panera if my sons don’t shape up.” She wagged her hoof at her, “No more pretending to be servants for you. You’ll all be calling me grandma in public by the end of the month.”
“Duke Poppycock, there you are,” Prince Blueblood walked over. “You barely made it in time. That’s surprising. I thought you’d be the first one here.”
“There were circumstances, but they are settled.”
“That’s good to hear, cousin.” He turned. “And Lady Pumpernickel, your reappearance is what everyone is talking about, except the obvious.”
“Yes. I wasn’t about to miss this.”
“And this must be one of the children of the manager of the Panera estate,” he smiled.
“Don’t be like that, Prince Blueblood. You know exactly who she is. You pulled her tail and cut one of her pigtails out of her hair the one and only time I allowed you on my property, you rapscallion.”
Prince Blueblood looked embarrassed. “To be fair… I didn’t have my cutie mark yet when that happened.”
“Still haven’t received that apology letter yet.”
“But my father said he’d… ah…” his face fell, “I’ll write another one later today.”
“Good. And I’ll make sure she’s holding it in her official portrait.”
“Wait, what?” Blueblood said surprised.
“Yes, no thanks to my sons apparently.” She looked at the margrave, “I must thank the dark mage at some point privately.”
“You have assisted, Margrave Olov?” he quizzed.
“I called out her unmarried name the second I saw her. My father’s mother’s father had many love letters and photographs of them together.” He looked at her. “I will personally head back to Gotaland to get them if needed.”
“You’re related to the grandson of the late dowager?” Blueblood said surprised. “Marchioness, your power is about to increase greatly being related to the Gotaland royal family. Lord Belmont spoke privately of some old useless baron titles passed down through Derby he would be happy to gift if the opportunity arose, but now I fear even a viscounty and two earldoms may be too small for your grandchildren.”
“Oh?” she looked at Olov.
“My mother is the half-sister of the king by her second marriage. Apparently, she wasn’t too old to have another child. The king executed the entire doctor’s family for that blunder and made sure my mother’s parents were never alone together for another 10 years,” he chuckled. “Just to make sure there wasn’t a son next time.”
“Well, if that’s the case then my three flights of fancy don’t need to worry about titles, do they.”
“I believe everyone is counting their chickens before they hatch,” Poppycock said. “Creating a count or higher requires a vote in the house of lords. A viscounty is the highest the princesses can give on their own.”
“Well, if this stalls there are always my family’s titles. My grandmother was an only child and my younger uncle will not be having children due to his… persuasion. They were going to be returned to me anyway. If needed, I know he would be happy to give them.”
“Becoming foreign nobles would have great legal repercussions for them,” the duke said.
“Which can all be worked out later. How about you two stay in the castle as my guests and we can discuss things with Aunt Celestia once things calm down in a couple days.”
“That sounds wonderful. That would give us time to bring her brother and sister from the countryside. Oh, could you handle the invites. As a get around for the sons?”
“I’d be happy to.”
“Prince Blueblood, could I impose on you to take care of the marchioness and her granddaughter? I do need to get back to my ambassador’s duties.”
“If Lady Pumpernickel agrees to it, I’d be happy to.”
“Oh, alright. Since the stallions seem to make all the decisions anyway. Come on, Robin. Push me along.”
He nodded, then turned to Poppycock. “I will see you later, cousin. Perhaps we can mingle with the marquess after this presentation?”
“We will have to see,” he nodded a bow.
“Right this way, ladies,” Prince Blueblood turned around and walked away.
“Excuse me…” Robin said as she pushed Lady Pumpernickel away.
As she did, Lady Pumpernickel turned around to look at Poppycock. Then she held her left front leg horizontal and sharply lifted her right hoof behind it.
Robin raised her wing to hide it and scolded her.
Poppycock pressed his lips together at getting the pony equivalent of the middle finger.
“There you are,” Irmhild said as the griffons finally arrived. “You have been keeping secrets from me, Poppycock.”
“You’re one to talk. Margrave Olov just said—”
“Greetings everypony and honored beings,” Luna said, making a grand entrance to the room. “I hope you have had a wonderful time chit chatting while you waited. Now that we have confirmed everyone is present, it is time for us to enter the throne room. Follow me.”
Celestia joined her sister and they led the group of over 400 individuals towards the throne room.
~~***~~
The right and left doors glowed with blue and gold magic and they swung wide, revealing the huge room full of mattresses and pillows.
“What is this?!” Irmhild shouted.
The princesses walked forward and turned around. “This meeting is going to take place in the dreamscape,” Luna said loudly.
“The supposed dark mage, Princess Cadence and Princess Twilight, and many ambassadors are already waiting for us in the dream version of the throne room,” Celestia said. “If any of you are uncomfortable with this, you can return to the dining hall. Every being who is willing to continue, please enter and find a comfortable spot.”
“Time in the dreamspace is accelerated,” Luna picked up, “We can spend hours in there talking, but awake to find only a few minutes have passed. This is the fastest way we can have these discussions under the circumstances. It has been a long, bright night. And it is in everyone’s best interest and health to get the moon up as soon as possible. I know the papers have told stories of an injury I suffered. It was an accident, and that issue has been resolved with much practice. Also, as the host of the dream, any deliberate attempt at injury would have to get through me first. All of you will be perfectly safe. You have the words of the diarchs of Equestria.”
“Any questions before we enter?” Celestia asked.
“Where are the sleeping ones now? You are clearly awake, Princess Luna.”
“Good question, Lord Fire Whirl. They are in a dreamplane I handed off to Princess Cadence to host. Once I create a new one for all of us, I will contact hers and we will merge them together. Again, this has been practiced a great deal. And there is no danger.”
“So you left the dark mage in the presence of the only pony immune to dark magic?” Marquess Metis asked.
“The individual you are referring to is with both Princess Cadence and Twilight at the moment, correct.”
“You are dancing around the subject. Is there or is there not a dark mage,” Lord Fire Whirl pressed.
“Everything will be answered in the dreamplane,” Celestia intervened. “Everyone. Make your decision quickly and enter if you wish to participate.”
Prince Blueblood entered immediately. Robin pushed Lady Pumpernickel in and he helped her find a place. The griffons entered next. Then Poppycock and Blarney. Lord Fire Whirl, his children, and the children of his councilmates entered next.
Seeing so many prominent individuals enter without hesitation made everyone else file in.
Celestia and Luna moved to the dais and they sat on their thrones and watched every single being come in.
“We thank all of you for trusting us,” Celestia said. “Now find a comfortable position, and we will begin. And remember. This is still an official court session even though it is in the dreamplane. Protocol still applies; any disorder will not be tolerated and you will be removed. Any pony who awakens early will be removed by the guards to a side room to be lectured by us once the meeting ends.”
They waited until everyone stopped moving.
Luna lit her horn.
Chapter 29: Pride Cometh
Everyone found themselves standing in the throne room.
They looked around.
“Everyone can move around freely,” Luna said. “Feel free to walk around. This goes for any elder ponies. You will have full movement and no pain. This is a quick check as everyone’s mind is a little different. Please tell me if you are having any issues. Once that is done, we will do one last exercise, then we will merge the dreamplanes.”
Everyone moved around and found their groups. Lady Pumpernickel caught many individuals’ attention as she jumped around and spun in circles giggling.
The lighthearted display caused many to quietly chuckle. Many of the younger nobles went over and introduced themselves, to the annoyance of the older ones.
Poppycock sent Blarney over to them.
“You all must be very brave to come talk to this mare,” Blarney said. “Lady Pumpernickel has always had quite the reputation. In fact, three of her four children are illegitimate with a plethora of possible fathers. And now I’ve heard there was a fifth you had, even before you were sold by your parents to pay their debts to your late husband of three months. Then you lost nearly the entirety of his estate to a lawsuit by his ex-wife and six daughters.”
“You are also speaking about one of my favorite conversation partners.”
Blarney turned around and saw Princess Celestia and Prince Blueblood.
“And your family has been courting them recently, as well. It seems the fact that I sponsored them since they were foals and gave them important positions in the government is more important than a lack of father on their paperwork.”
“And you should be one to talk, Blarney,” Prince Blueblood called him without a title. “You’re pulling rank on Lady Sea Swirl’s rightful fiancé, and the only reason the child was born out of wedlock and him not being listed on the birth certificate is you. Your pride and vanity has dishonored two innocent families and tarnished the royal family and the bearers who introduced the two in the first place.”
Everyone around them gasped.
Blarney smiled. “Those are heavy accusations. What proof do you have that can outweigh the rank my family’s words carry? Were you at the conception? If I say something is true, then it is. Simple as that.”
“Don’t act like you can raise the sun and moon,” Blueblood snapped back.
“Unicorns once did that all on our own long before the princesses were born. A spell is just a spell.”
“Did you just insult Princess Celestia to her face?” Lady Pumpernickel moved in front of him. “I see the Gleanings and the Folderols have become even dumber over the years. But I suppose you can only marry your own cousins so often before it shows.”
Blarney smiled, “Such things only matter for non magical beasts. Magic and magic alone controls the wellbeing of ponies.”
“Well, I guess that means you have nothing to worry about since both your parents were diagnosed with cancer at the same time. Shockingly young, too. They didn’t even reach ninety.”
Blarney did not react. He smiled and turned to the group. “I suggest you think quickly of the reputations of your houses going forward. For I have warned you of your accidental faux pas and am now leaving.”
He walked away.
All the young nobles quickly followed him.
“Hmph. One would think having the backing of the royal family would mean something,” Lady Pumpernickel said. She looked at Celestia, “What have you been doing all these years to get that response.”
“Being defeated so easily by Queen Crystalis definitely has not helped matters,” Celestia said. Then she smiled. “But don’t worry. Everypony will remember the true power gap between us sooner than later.”
“Well, I have three ducal candidates ready to go.”
“Marchioness…” Robin Song whined.
Celestia put her hoof to her mouth and giggled. “I understand if you prefer the commoner life, Robin. I can’t force you to do anything.” She turned serious. “But even a simple baronet that cannot be passed on would provide legal protections, now that it’s known you're not just a lover’s pampered child. The margrave speaking up in front of Duke Poppycock now makes you a target by not just Equestrian nobles, but the griffon nations. I’ll be writing the paperwork once this mess is over. You’ll all be nobles before we finally get night started.”
“Ok, if you have to,” Robin said.
“Don’t worry,” Blueblood said. “I’m not going to let anything happen. I already called my contacts before Aunt Luna cast the spell.”
Celestia nodded. “I fully approve of what he did. I agree you have nothing to worry about.”
Lady Pumpernickel nodded. “But I still expect that apology letter, young stallion.”
“Of course.”
“Alright, every being!” Luna called out. “Any issues? Please speak up so we can move on to the next step.”
No one spoke up.
“Excellent.” Luna lit her horn.
An apple appeared in front of everyone. Then it dropped to the floor.
“This is to make sure you can interact with the world. Please try to pick it up. Both with hooves and with magic for those who have it. Also feel free to take a bite. It is edible like all dream foods.”
The unicorns found they could cast levitation spells, and most of the ambassadors also ate the apple.
“Alright, anyone who has not eaten your apple, please bring it up front and put it in a pile on the right. Anyone with a core left over, please put it in a pile on the left.”
Over 100 uneaten apples ended up in a pile at her feet.
“Anyone interested in seconds before I remove these?”
Pixiu raised his paw.
“Then come up.”
Pixiu came up with Feiyu through the center of the room as ponies backed out of the way of his huge girth. Pixiu grabbed a large number of apples. Feiyu shaped an appendage and lifted an apple, tossed one in the air, and made it disappear into his clouds. Next, he removed a core from within him and placed it on top of the pile. Then they returned to the back through the same open path, with Pixiu having a loud one-sided conversation as Feiyu exaggeratingly twisted around in response.
“That should finish off any doubts about Feiyu,” both she and Celestia thought at the same time.
They returned to the back of the room to the waiting Lord Nanda, and the Golden Herd and Garuda ambassadors.
Once hidden in the group, Feiyu removed the whole apple and handed it to Pixiu.
“Why did you do that?” Lord Nanda asked.
“Let’s not get into all the issues we’ve been having with pegasi the past few years. After Princess Twilight’s debacle, the stallion of the hour wanted to nip this in the butt.”
“You’ve already met him?” a Garuda asked, surprised.
Feiyu made a hand-like shape and tapped a finger to his front.
The Garuda nodded, understanding the shush. “Yes, Master Feiyu,” he whispered.
~~***~~
“Is everyone ready to merge the rooms?” Luna asked.
“What does that entail?” a noble asked.
“Just me making a portal, talking to Princess Cadence, then removing the walls. This room will simply get bigger. Any other questions?”
She looked around.
“No? Alright.” Luna lit her horn and a door replaced one of the stained glass windows. She cracked it open. “Cadence? All well over here? … Good.”
She entered the door. Nothing happened for a while. As ponies began to glance at each other, the wall and door disappeared.
“If everypony could walk over and join the others, we can tidy this up,” Luna said walking back.
The twenty odd ambassadors walked over, along with Princesses Cadence and Twilight, and also…
“How did Earl Jetset and Lady Upperscrust get in before the rest of us?” Duke Poppycock demanded.
“My wife was not feeling well, so Princess Luna guided us to a couch then offered to let us in with the ambassadors in preparation for the main dreamwalk.”
“Yes, and they have proven lovely conversation partners,” Princess Cadence said. She looked at the two, “It was a pleasure talking to the two of you again. I do hope your bug resolves quickly.”
“Thank you, Princess Cadence,” Uppercrust bowed.
“Princess Twilight, let’s head to the dais.”
“Yes.”
The two joined Celestia, and Luna entered one of the back rooms in the spare throne room.
Poppycock got into Jetset’s face. “You better tell me everything that was said over there,” he hissed softly, “and quickly.”
Jetset swallowed, “Yes, duke.”
~~***~~
Soon after the far wall began to move and the rooms combined to about a size and a quarter, providing lots of room for the hundreds of guests. The new guests mingled and found their places as Luna came back out.
“Everyone is ready,” Luna said softly as she joined the other princesses on the dais.
Everyone nodded. Luna took her place next to her sister. Cadence and Twilight stood to Celestia’s other side.
“If every being is ready,” Celestia said loudly. “We are ready to begin.”
The room quieted.
“Before we bring Prince Vegeta out here to speak to you, we would like to give some basic information we have learned about him and the circumstances of him coming to our kingdom. Please let me finish before anyone speaks.”
Celestia looked around the room before continuing.
“Over a thousand years ago in one of his earliest successes, Starswirl the Bearded created a portal to a completely different planet under a completely different sun and moon, with animals and beings unlike anything that exists here. But while he was exploring, he discovered a terrible truth.” She paused. “This world had no magic, and was actively sucking it from his body. He barely made it back to the portal. After that, he began to use it as a prison and banished many thousands of criminals into it over his years of travel. But then the portal closed, and to my sisters and my knowledge, never functioned again during his life.
“The flood of strange creatures with fantastical powers, back in the age where the sentients were only just discovering the use of metal, left a giant impression on the young civilization. The races of the banished criminals became mythologized and even divine. A thousand years passed for both our worlds, and this planet, called Earth, was contacted by other planets from across space, sometimes in peace, other times in war.
“What began as an alliance of convenience between former enemies ended with Prince Vegeta giving up his pursuit of the throne and running off with an Earth female he first met on the battlefield and ultimately joining her house. That was thirty years ago. They have two children.
“Three hundred years before his arrival, another race gifted the beings of Earth a magical artifact that could survive the sucking effect, even though it had extremely long recharging times between uses. That artifact is in the possession of his wife’s influential family… Yes, I can see looks of realization on several faces, let me finish. Now his youngest child’s, barely over the age of a toddler foal, favorite story is of magical ponies based off of the old legends that takes place in a town called Ponyville. So, when he gave her the artifact as a holiday gift to have her wish granted, he was not worried when she blurted out what she wanted. Because ponies and Ponyville are not real.
“That assumption earned him a trip to the Everfree Forest where he almost died in a new body he had no idea how to control. His inability, and our assumptions upon first encounter, has led to a lot of misunderstandings and injury. We are here to proclaim Prince Vegeta is not dangerous, nor is his daughter. Teleportation exists on Earth, and is done by tracing an individual’s unique signature of life instead of magic. While his body change may delay his tracking, he is confident he will be found in the coming days. Once that happens, he knows his wife would be eager to facilitate the opening of a relationship between our worlds again. And that is where we stand. Prince Vegeta is still recovering from his injuries while his daughter is being spoiled in the palace to take her mind off of recent events. Now, any quick questions before we bring him out and you can question him directly?”
“Is he really an alien?” the Trottingham ambassador shouted. “Is this really a first contact like the space fiction?”
“Technically it's re-establishing contact, but yes, that is the situation. Another reason to call this meeting. This is too monumental for one nation alone.”
Irmhild raised his claw, “So you are saying out there in the universe, there are magical artifacts powerful enough to create alicorns out of completely thin air, and so simple to use a toddler can do it?”
“Yes,” Celestia said.
“Alicorns are supposed to be nigh unbeatable creations, the most powerful beings in the world,” he continued.
“Maybe on Equus, but now our world has grown much bigger. In ways few have accurately imagined. How we measure up in the wider universe is still unknown. But Prince Vegeta has offered friendship, and if needed, the protection of his wife’s family as we navigate this going forward.”
Lord Fire Whirl raised his hoof. “Has the daughter also been turned into a dark mage?”
“Not noticeably,” Luna answered, “But her dreams are quite powerful. This may just be how the minds of Saiyans and their hybrids work, and their presence on this planet is causing new phenomena in the aether I’m sure the magic council will be interested in in the days to come.”
“You’re referring to the dark mage’s ability to cause physical harm in the real world to sleeping ponies?”
“Prince Vegeta has also discovered he can heal ponies the same way. He healed my burns when he accidentally injured me on our first meeting. He did some minor healing on himself but did not want to press his luck on an unfamiliar body. Then there was our last-ditch effort to save the life of Lady Pinkie Pie, which was successful, but at catastrophic injury to himself that he almost never woke up from. We need to study this thoroughly going forward, instead of gambling on ad hoc attempts fueled by desperation.”
“You seem overly attached, just like the witness said in the papers,” one of the nobles that came with Poppycock said.
“Did you forget I was also there?” Celestia said smiling. “Am I also sleeping with Prince Vegeta like the rumors about my sister that have been flying around?”
All the nobles had shocked and stunned looks on their faces.
“This is a message from all four of us as your RULERS. This. Stops. Now. Prince Vegeta’s an aging male with only a decade or two left for his race’s average lifespan, has been married half his life, and has a grown son and an oopsie baby in their old age.”
Cadence chimed in next. “You’re accusing Princess Luna of adultery and homewrecking with a foreign power. Even if his title is residual by his own admission, his wife’s house is NOT. We are not just admonishing you now. We are saying this in front of all the AMBASSADORS. There is no romance. It has been a difficult path of trust for the past two days. TWO DAYS. Technically THREE now. I am EMBARRASSED for my former home.”
Twilight went to speak, but Irmhild cut her off. “You said he has been married half his life, but he met his wife about 30 years ago. So, he is in his 60s and his race’s average age of death is between 70 and 80?”
“Yes,” Celestia said. “Both Saiyans and Earthlings live about the same lifespan as many species here on Equus. But that is the average; it is possible for one to live to a hundred, but he is also aware of his own health and doubts he will reach that mark.”
Celestia looked at Twilight.
She went to speak, but this time Blarney was the one to interrupt. “Princesses, with all due respect, since there is nothing else of importance to say, let’s meet this stallion so we can all go home and rest. You have delayed the night long enough.”
Twilight’s ears fell when most of the nobles instantly agreed.
“I’ll get him then,” Twilight suddenly said before the other three could respond.
She walked to the side room door on the same level as the dais. “Vegeta, you can come out now.”
Everyone’s eyes went wide when Vegeta walked out.
“What the buck it that?!” a pony shouted.
“A real life buddha,” Lord Nanda said quietly in awe. “Then that story was about your sacred mirror.”
He was expecting that reaction, but it did not stop him from nervously playing with the tie of his purple suit. He picked up his metal folding chair and continued to the center of the dais. He placed his chair in front of Celestia and Luna and stood in front.
Vegeta put his arm over his chest and bowed, “Nobles of Equestria. Esteemed Ambassadors. It is a pleasure to finally meet everyone. I am Prince Vegeta of the Saiyans, currently of House Brief. While I understand the formality of your customs dictates the use of my royal title, I usually go without it with the step down in rank in my wife’s family due to the marriage. Simply calling me Vegeta is fine and I will take no offense.”
“Then what title do you prefer instead of your royal title? Is your wife’s house ducal? Earldom?” Poppycock asked.
“Earth is a capitalist democracy. While titles still exist as either legacies or as an elected position’s name, power is determined by wealth. My wife’s family is the wealthiest on the planet by more than the next twenty combined. But they carry no legacy.”
“You are a peasant?”
“As is nearly a hundred percent of Earth’s population. I understand the concept would be off putting for such a strict monarchist society, but you’re just going to have to deal with it just like I did. Many people, even if you are introduced with your title, will never use it because it carries no weight or importance unless it is your job. The Princesses have weight because it is their job as direct rulers. Prince Blueblood for example does not and will most likely be dropped in standard conversation.”
“And your own kind?”
“We were a militarized meritocracy, but there were prominent families that dominated the government. The royal family was an example. While the king was technically elected, it’s usually a free for all between the children, or sometimes cousins of merit if the children were in a politically weak position. My great-grandfather was married into a side branch and was a prominent war hero, but he would have never been considered without that marriage. My father was the youngest and by a mistress, but was also selected for heroism.”
“Which one of your relatives will we be dealing with once we are formally introduced to your birth kind?”
“My kind were conquered and later genocided when I was a child. A fellow Saiyan named Kakarot and myself are the last. So, there is no one to be introduced to.”
Vegeta could tell that went over almost everyone’s heads.
“Then those that conquered you?” Poppycock continued.
Vegeta smiled. “Also dead. Last I heard, thirty years ago the old Frieza empire was broken into warring factions between remaining generals while other neighboring empires were gobbling up planets around the edges and pushing deeper into the chaos.”
“Is Earth also controlled by a larger empire?”
“I’m sure some dumbasses sat at a conference table once and divided the galaxy between themselves at some point, but everyone that has tried to enforce any claim on Earth has ended up dead. So no, Earth has always been independent and will stay so for the foreseeable future.”
“What’s a galaxy?” a noble asked confused.
“A galaxy is a massive group of stars that circle a central point, usually a supermassive black hole.”
“What’s a black hole?”
“It’s a type of dead star.”
There was a massive gasp from everyone in the room.
“Stars cannot die. The universe is eternal and unchanging!” Lord Fire Whirl stomped his foot.
Vegeta pinched his nose. “Why am I not surprised you’re this far behind…”
“Behind? Behind?! Are you calling us primitive?!”
“Did anyone here believe in life on other planets without wishful thinking? Evidence based extrapolation based on the fundamental origins of life on this planet. And no religious so and so god did it.”
“Are you referring to the origin of magic?” Lord Fire Whirl asked.
“Unless you’re literally made of magic and would die if it was sucked from your body then no, if you can survive without it, then it is not the fundamental origin of life.”
“Are you referring to cells?”
Vegeta pointed back like a teacher. “It’s along those lines, yes, and you are?
“Prince Eric of the United Kingdoms of Norway and Jutland.”
“Good, now. Do you know what part of the cell makes it alive? What controls everything?”
“That X shaped stuff in the nucleus?”
“Yes, and what is that made of?”
“I don’t know.”
“Earth calls it Deoxyribonucleic acid. DNA for short. There is also a smaller version called RNA, Ribonucleic acid. These chemicals are the written language of life. This chemical has evolved separately on every planet that has life. Since Prince Eric mentioned its X-like shape, it is the same here.”
“You’re saying an acid is the basis of life? Acids dissolve and burn,” Lord Fire Whirl said.
“An acid is just a molecule with an extra hydrogen atom. Reactivity is completely independent.”
“Did you just say atom? Atomics was disproven thousands of years ago!” Lord Fire Whirl said. “The only reason I even know about it is because it’s a footnote in my philosopher’s degree.”
“You mean the duel between…” he looked back at Celestia, “What was it? Borealis and leprechaunus or something?”
“Leucippus,” Luna smiled while Celestia and Cadence struggled to keep a straight face.
“Who and what now?” Twilight asked.
“Later, Twilight,” Cadence said firmly.
Twilight flattened her ears.
“Anyway…” Vegeta turned back around. “Just because one bastard killed another bastard doesn’t mean the dead guy wasn’t right. That may work for politics and history, but not science. Like I told the princesses and Discord, magic manipulates the world. Not controls it.”
“Alright then, Prince Vegeta . Give every pony here a good laugh and show us how far down the rabbit hole the rest of your galaxy has gone.”
Irmhild interrupted. “I see no reason to ‘go down the rabbit hole’ as you kindly put it. This is a waste of time.”
“Does Equestria really not follow atomics?” Prince Eric said looking around confused. “It was a major part of my education and Gotaland hosts a major awards conference for discoveries.”
“Then griffons are fools as always,” Lord Fire Whirl said.
“Lord Fire Whirl!” Celestia and Luna shouted in unison, stamping their hooves. They looked at each other. Celestia nodded to Luna. “That was horribly out of order,” Luna continued, “and in front of several griffon nations! Apologize this instant!”
“And what are you going to do about it?” Duke Poppycock hijacked the conversation. “Remove him and insult the greatest mages in ponykind? That will damage Equestria’s standing more than insulting some abandoned and forgotten ideas back in ancient times.”
“There hasn’t been a non-Equestrian citizen on the council in 600 years,” a Zebra said. “How can a Council represent all of Equus’s magic when no other race can bring their experience and expertise to the world? When was the last time anyone on your council brewed a zebra potion or any potion not invented by ponies? The griffons pay more attention to our brews than you have in generations.”
There was a loud hoof stomping from the other non-pony ambassadors.
“So, am I talking about this or not?” Vegeta asked.
“I say we allow it,” Luna said looking at Celestia.
“Agreed,” she nodded.
Irmhild looked frustrated. He glared at Margrave Olov.
He nodded and turned to Prince Eric, “Eric, I understand your curiosity, but now is not the time. You just sent this meeting into a wild tangent.”
“But the princesses said the hours we spend in here will only be a few minutes in real life. But how can Equestria not know about atomics? What harm is there to tell them about it?”
“You mean like what happened just now? An insult like that can start a war. There are better times and places for this.”
“Oh… ok then…”
~~***~~
“Luna, can I have a board to teach the class?” Vegeta rolled his eyes.
Luna created a chalkboard.
“Ok… more specific. Can I have a whiteboard and markers?”
She glanced at her sister.
Celestia shook her head slightly.
“No one here knows what a whiteboard is… great… Can I make one myself?”
“You want to cast your dark magic?!” a pony yelled.
“No, it’s a mental projection!” Vegeta said frustrated. “You didn’t levitate the pony next to you and bite them during the apple exercise, did you? You THINK what you are doing is happening and it happens in the dream world.”
“The princesses said you can’t control magic. How can you manipulate the dreamplane without experiencing magic beforehand?”
“It’s called ‘lucid dreaming’.” Then Vegeta suddenly smiled. He clapped his hands together. “Alright, who wants a quick lesson?”
“Oh, yes, show us this wonderful, nonexistent power somehow without using it,” Lord Fire Whirl said.
“Ok, first lesson in making something. Imagine something simple, like a balloon.” Vegeta held his hand in front of him. “Now, the balloon is right in front of your face. You’re not imagining it. It’s not invisible. It’s really there. You can see it. You can hear it. It is right there. Now,” Vegeta moved his hand and made a fist, “grab the string and touch it.”
Lord Fire Whirl, and the children of the council all laughed. Along with many unicorns.
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever—-“
“I did it!”
Every pony spun around and looked at Prince Eric holding a pink balloon.
“Look,” he turned to the margrave. “You did it too! And Friherre Eetu!”
The ponies looked around as more and more of the other races present manifested balloons. Some even escaped and floated up to the ceiling.
“Princess Luna, what is this fabrication!” Lord Fire Whirl wheeled around.
“I have done nothing, Lord Fire Whirl. Everyone is simply doing as Prince Vegeta instructed.”
Suddenly a huge number of balloons rose in the air at once.
Prince Eric was making them one after another laughing. “31, 32, 33…”
“Alright Balloon Boy, that’s enough happiness for now. Save some for the rest of us.”
All the ambassadors chuckled and Prince Eric blushed.
“Now, is everyone satisfied I can make a whiteboard without using magic?” Vegeta said, raising his hand. All the non-pony races and even a few ponies raised their front limbs.
Vegeta nodded. Then he turned around and turned the chalkboard into a whiteboard.
Vegeta uncapped a marker. “Ok beings, now this is what I know from my basic education plus a little extra I learned so not to make an idiot of my wife in front of her colleagues.”
“Why does a prince only have a basic education?” Marquess Metis asked.
“Because I was a slave for half of it, then I got the basic degree I needed to function as a normal person on Earth. Plus some extra specific to my wife’s field of work.”
“And what is your wife’s field of work?” he continued.
“She's a physicist and inventor like her father. Between the two of them, they have enough Nobel prizes to line every wall in the mansion. I find plenty just randomly thrown in drawers when looking for stuff. Oh, the Nobel prize is the highest prize you can get.”
The various griffons glanced at each other.
“Stay quiet,” Olov warned Prince Eric.
“And what is a physicist?” Count Piedmont asked.
Vegeta had an unamused look on his face, already guessing the next outburst. “Physics. Physical. How stuff works.”
“So, she’s an atomite?” Lord Fire Whirl said to more laughter. “And what qualifications does she have?”
“A PhD. It stands for Philosophy —something. I can’t really remember…” Vegeta turned back to the board to start writing.
“A Philosopher’s?! Your ponies give out Philosopher’s in atomics?!” Lord Fire Whirl ranted. “That’s the biggest insult I’ve ever heard. What did atomics ever do for your wife?”
“Time Travel,” Vegeta said, starting to draw. “She discovered the physics behind it and created a working machine. It’s been used in war several times.”
“But time travel cannot change the past! Starswirl the Bearded said so!” Twilight shouted.
“It can if you break it,” Vegeta said, still drawing, “and isn’t that the guy that died when the princesses were kids? That’s thousands of years ago.”
“Starswirl was the greatest mage that ever lived! No one has ever surpassed him!”
“That explains why you’re all stuck so far in the past,” Vegeta finished drawing
“Twilight,” Celestia scolded.
But Twilight was too far gone.
“Changing time goes against the very foundation of harmony magic!”
Vegeta turned around ready to teach, “Then what about chaos magic?”
“Harmony is the final fundamental force in magic, chaos is just some strange subset no pony has figured out the formulas for yet! Everything comes from then goes back to harmony!”
Vegeta turned to her and held his fists out, “Or, they are separate but coequal types of magic,” he raised them slightly and brought them together, “that combine into a greater whole.”
“That’s imposs—"
“Twilight!” All three princesses shouted, stomping their hooves.
Twilight snapped out of her rant and stumbled back startled. She landed on her butt to the laughter of the room.
“Alright! Break it up! And let’s get this started!” Vegeta shouted.
The room went silent.
Vegeta pointed at his first drawing. “The fabric of reality is always shaking and trembling with the power of creation.” He made a plate with a jello mold appear, “like a bunch of jello.” He shook it as an example before popping it away.
He pointed at the next picture. “But like ripples when you drop something in water, it can compile to tear a drop off. This is a particle. There are several types I don’t know the name of, but they interact and fuse to form the Big Three,” he tapped each circle with a different charge symbol. “Electron with a negative electric charge. Proton with a positive charge. And Neutron, as in neutral. No charge.”
He tapped the next picture. “These combine in different combinations to form atoms. Each type of atom has its very own unique combination. The way each substance behaves is dictated by its internal arrangement of protons, neutrons, and electrons.
“This drawing is a Hydrogen atom, one proton and one electron in orbit. This is a Helium atom. Two protons, two neutrons, and two electrons.”
Vegeta took off the cap of his marker again. “This box with horns is the basic shape of the Periodic Table of Elements. There are over one hundred elements discovered or made so far, and theoretically, the number of protons can go up forever, but there is a practical limit I’ll mention in a second.”
As he continued to speak, the griffons were looking more and more nervous.
“Is this really all necessary?” Irmhild tried to interrupt again.
“Yes, now be quiet,” Vegeta said, not even looking. He began circling places on the table, “Hydrogen is here. Helium is here. Carbon, Oxygen, and Nitrogen are over here. Metals like iron, copper, gold, silver, and stuff are all over here.” Then he circled the two separate lines below. “And the really poisonous stuff is down here. Now I don’t know the specifics, maybe ask my wife later on, but when you group elements by protons and by how they combine with other elements, you get this shape. That’s all I can really tell you. Now, are we done with this so I can go on to the next part?”
“Why are the poisonous ones separated?” Lord Fire Whirl asked, still not believing any of this.
“All these elements react the same way, they all just happen to be poisonous.”
“Why are they poisonous?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“And why is that? Is it because this is all made up?!” he said thinking he caught him in a lie.
“Ok, everyone!” Vegeta said, slamming his marker down. “Since this pony never learned the basics, what’s the definition of poison? Hands, hooves, whatever up.”
Prince Rasheed was one of the beings who raised his hoof.
“Yes, and you are?”
“Prince Rasheed of Saddle Arabia.”
“Nice to meet you. Now what is the definition of poison?”
“Something that can harm or kill someone.”
“And what is poison sometimes used for?”
“To murder.”
Vegeta raised his hand towards him smiling. “See! Now this horse actually studied his vocabulary in school.”
The ambassadors chuckled while many ponies seethed.
“Enough of this nonsense!” Lord Fire Whirl shouted, stomping his hoof. “Let’s get back to what really matters, DARK MAGE .”
Vegeta crossed his arms and the whiteboard vanished behind him. “Ok then, shoot.”
“Shoot what?”
“Your question! Shoot your question.”
“With what? That makes no sense! You’re insane. This proves it.”
“Shooting a question is a common phrase in Trottingham. Comes from our proud archery history. It means to let loose your question like an arrow from a bow. The only thing insane here is the ignorance on display from the magical council.”
There was a lot of stomping and even whinnies from the crowd.
“Alright! That’s enough,” Vegeta shouted.
The room died down.
“My question is…” he said angrily, “If you have no history with magic, then why do you think chaos and harmony are equals? What gives you the right to even comment such an absurdity?”
“The history of physics on Earth had a similar problem that lasted three hundred years. It was only solved recently by my wife’s father.
“There are four forces that govern particles. Electromagnetism, Strong force, Weak force, and Gravity. Through a lot of work, scientists were able to combine the electromagnetic, strong, and weak forces into one formula, but they could never fit gravity. Until my father-in-law. He wasn’t even trying. He was writing out the physics of the invention that made him rich and someone else realized what he’d done in the process and not even noticed. Physics operated under two fundamentally incompatible sets of laws, one for large objects, one for small, for centuries. And that sounds like what is happening here. If Chaos won’t fit into Harmony, then there’s most likely something above it that both fit into.”
While Lord Fire Whirl went on another rant with chime-ins from the mage houses, Twilight had a contemplative look on her face. She zapped a scroll and quill and started scribbling.
“What do you think you are doing, Princess Twilight?” Earless Boltz suddenly shouted, “Don’t give him legitimacy! Whatever knowledge he has is through the dark arts!”
“How many times do we have to say I can’t use magic normally?” Vegeta said loudly.
“Then what is this terrible fire magic mentioned all over the papers?!” a random pony shouted.
“It’s called ki,” Vegeta said. “Ki is your life energy. Now if you have all of this sucked out of you, you will die. Individuals are born with different amounts and ease of manipulation, but in the end, anyone can train and increase it. Ki is like earth magic as it increases strength, stamina, and healing. It is like pegasus magic as it can let you fly. It is like unicorn magic in many ways, but my training as a soldier specializes in using it to destroy.”
“Ki is not real!” an elderly pony called out. “My parents were the last ambassadors to set foot on Neighpon. This ki nonsense was used to justify the worst pony abuses! I saw it all firsthand! And Princess Celestia led the pony kingdoms to fully blockade the islands into submission. We should have never ended it and let them back out into the world! Damn Wu, Weigh, Samhock and their pirate empires. We should have burned every blade of grass in Asia to the ground and rescued every foal and brought them back for adoption into loving homes!”
Vegeta crossed his arms. “I see genocide is alive and well on this planet.”
“If the former director of Colt Protective Services says it's horrible, then it must be beyond nightmares!” a pony shouted.
Duke Poppycock and Blarney smiled at each other. This was unexpected, but more than welcome.
“Yes, ki is not real and is even worse than dark magic because dark magic actually exists! Black magic can only be wielded by those who have done unspeakable crimes,” Lord Fire Whirl said, “Murder, torture, stealing candy from babies. You confess to these crim— you’re laughing!”
Vegeta smiled, “I’ve never heard stealing candy from babies as an equal to torturing and murdering said baby.”
“Then you’ve stolen candy from babies?!” a pony shouted.
“What the fucking hell is wrong with you people?!” Vegeta shouted. “A baby can’t eat candy with its hands cut off or fucking DEAD! Get your gods damn priorities straight!”
There were a lot of nods from the other races and looks of scorn at the offending noble.
“Do you confess to your crimes?” Lord Fire Whirl demanded again.
Vegeta tilted his head slightly, glaring at the stallion. “Oh I confess. I confess to horrors that will make whatever god or demon your religion thinks of as the epitome of pure evil puke.”
“Vegeta, temper,” Celestia said.
“Don’t try and control him,” Duke Poppycock shouted. “You claim he’s reformed and not dangerous, let him speak his mind and prove it!”
Ponies stomped their hooves in approval.
Celestia sighed, annoyed.
Cadence facehooved.
Twilight got antsy and started tapping her front hooves.
“Vegeta, do try and not give us extra workload in the dream world in the following nights,” Luna asked.
Vegeta looked at her apologetically, “Sorry Luna. I can’t make that promise.” He turned back around. “Seems some of your ponies are rather thick headed so I may need to get more descriptive than you would like,” he said with venom in his voice.
Lord Fire Whirl stopped his foot loudly, “Do you feel any remorse for these ‘horrors’ you committed?”
Vegeta crossed his arms. “I have no interest in repeating the acts of my youth.”
“Do you REGRET what you did? Will you APOLOGIZE for your actions in front of everyone here?”
“Fuck No!” he shouted.
Everyone gasped.
Celestia gritted her teeth.
Vegeta raised his hands to shoulder height in a hoity pose. “I believe there’s been a language barrier again,” he said arrogantly. “Seems I need to describe in more detail what genocide entails like I had to with the princesses and Discord. It means extinction ,” he stressed.
“I see many horses in the crowd. Ambassadors from many different nations. Saying Kakarot and I are the last of our kind was not that we are the last of a nation, we are the last of a species.” Vegeta pointed, “I see many clothing doubles out there, imagine you and the one next to you are the only ones left of your entire species. Everyone and everything dead. Nations, peoples, cultures, languages, everything erased from existence except you and the one next to you. No archeology, no written records, no artifacts. The map swiped clean into oblivion, with no proof you ever existed at all except the memories in your head, and even that will vanish soon after your deaths, because there is nothing worth remembering in the eyes of the universe. You are nothing. Even the dirt on your feet and the filth that comes from an animal’s behind has more worth and practical uses than you . You’re not even worth fertilizer, a meal, the leather of your skin, or the ashes of your bones used in ink when you die .”
Vegeta hit his heart with his fist. “I was THREE when I was taken as a royal hostage from my father and people to the galactic tyrant Emperor Frieza. He ruled hundreds of planets and was always expanding his holdings.” Vegeta suddenly paused. He turned around, “What’s this planet’s name?”
“Equus,” Luna said.
Vegeta raised his arms again, “Hundreds of Equuses. And I was FIVE when I became one of the LAST. I know many of the species here grow and age at very different rates. Three for my kind can walk and has basic motor functions, but only knows a few hundred words and cannot string them together. Five, a normal child can form basic sentences and the more linguistically talented can hold a conversation. Three or its biological equivalent is considered an ADULT in the empire because the last thing a master needs is a slave that can talk back .”
He dropped his arms. “I came of age at three . I was on the front lines of the expansion wars. Conquest. Slavery. Extinction. Planet after planet. Equus after Equus. One after another until they all blend together for what unfortunately counts as my earliest memories.
“But I wasn’t just a normal soldier, no, my life was a game. A source of amusement for the emperor.” He formed his fists at his sides. “It’s why he personally made sure I survived— when he personally came and broke our planet into asteroids. Killing every scrap of life in the void of SPACE,” he snarled.
“I was always isolated when I wasn’t fighting. Small, freezing, pitch black room. One day I wasn’t let out. And then meals suddenly stopped. Liquids were given at first, but then it trailed off into nothing. I later learned it had been three weeks when I was dragged out and thrown into an arena. I was almost blind from the sudden light. But I heard clearly that I was the warm-up prey for a slave battle tournament for the emperor’s amusement as feast entertainment for his guests. Yes, they would watch people kill and torture each other while gorging themselves on wine and food.
“I won that fight to the silence of the crowd. Then Frieza laughed. He congratulated me, then said I must be hungry and thirsty. I had my reward, but I needed to hurry because they needed to clear the ring for the next fight.
“And that was the first fight of many where I ate flesh raw and wet my dry mouth with fresh blood.”
Everyone was turning green, except for the griffons and a few other races he did not recognize.
“But then Frieza got bored of me. He sent me back out with the army. But every unit I was added to was given no supplies. When the commanders questioned why, they were killed. Then their replacements were told I was the reason they were given absolutely nothing to eat or drink. And if they wanted their supplies back, everyone knew what they had to do.
“I came back the only survivor of that mission. I was tortured because the logical conclusion was that I hid and finished off the stragglers. And after another round of starvation, I was sent out again, this time with a high-ranking soldier to make sure I didn’t run and hide.” He moved his arm like he was flicking a stone on the ground, “And when I returned, I threw his severed head at the landing crew’s feet.”
He raised his voice. “I ripped my right as a sentient living being to take my next breath from the bodies of those sent against me, whether innocent people trying to defend their homes from invasion or Frieza’s assassins because I refused to fucking die! And when I finally found the time where everything I went through wouldn’t go to waste, I started my rebellion. And even though Kakarot and his Earth warriors get the credit, they ultimately joined MY rebellion when they realized killing everyone and leaving me half dead as a warning did nothing but bring them to Frieza’s personal attention. And I was standing right next to them when I saw Frieza die. His father die.” Then Vegeta closed his right fist. “And I crushed what was left of his brother with my bare hands,” he smiled at it as he remembered smashing the microchip.
Then he held his hands wide. “Am I proud of what I did to get to that point? No, not anymore.” Then he brought his hands in and tapped his heart. “But I will NOT APOLOGIZE for asserting my right to breathe! I am a survivor. And there is nothing in the universe more dangerous and terrifying to face than a survivor …” he paused a moment and lowered his arms.
“...who has discovered a reason to throw that away and die !” he continued once they were off guard. “Enemies of the princesses and the bearers! I may only have a decade left in my life, two if I’m lucky.” Vegeta smiled like a maniac, “But you would all be better off facing me in my prime than myself as I am now.” Vegeta turned and walked back up the dais. He sat down and crossed his arms, “Lecture over. Next question!”
The two Golden Herd ambassadors whinnied and stomped their hooves. “We salute you warrior! The first Khan went through a similar hell before he came to power by his own hooves. You would have become a mighty king if you did not turn your back for a mare.”
“Just because the kingdom I chose beats in my wife’s chest does not make me any lesser a royal or a warrior. Make no mistake about that.”
A minotaur and the centaur next to him clapped next. “Your passion sounds like the epics of old,” the centaur said. “She must rival Helena in her beauty.”
Vegeta gave an honest smile, and even ponies had to admit his eyes sparkled for a moment. “While her beauty is a bonus, I fell in love with her personality and mind first and foremost. While the word CEO is the business equivalent, she is a powerful queen by any other name. Asking her to leave with me for my own ambitions would have diminished the spark that made me attracted to her in the first place. It was always my ultimate decision to leave and pursue military conquest or to stay and join her business empire.”
“On behalf of the Holy Gryphon Empire,” Ermendrud said. “I find your use of empire for a lowly merchant insulting.”
“Capsule Corporation either directly employs or supports through their workers spending their wages at local businesses like grocers and markets HALF of the entire planet’s population. Entire regions thrive or collapse into poverty or are even abandoned in their entirety based on whether there’s a factory operating in the area. Research into my family’s influence has shown six of ten items in an average home were made by the company directly or the manufactures used our tools to make their products. One in ten of all the money on the entire planet is part of my family’s private wealth.” He made and held up five coins between his fingers, “Not tied up in a company or assets like real estate, but private bank accounts like any other person who gets a paycheck.”
Then he made four of them disappear and began rolling the remaining coin over the top of his fingers. “Even though business taxes are set at less than 1%, my family's taxes make up 37% of the planetary government’s budget. Yes, I said planetary government. Can your empire brag about ruling the entire planet? Every square inch of water and dirt? If lowly peasants can unite across an entire planet to rule themselves through elected governments, what’s your nobilities’ excuse?” Then he flicked the coin up in the air with his thumb and the coin vanished with a little flash. “You’re obviously superior to people like my wife, right?”
“What you described is completely impossible! You are spouting nothing but lies,” Irmhild shouted. He looked at Celestia, “We will hold Equestria personally responsible for this outrageous insult.”
“Is it though?” the Trottingham ambassador said. “Most of our counties have parliaments and diets of some kind. And the lower houses are full of the sons of bankers and the great guild houses that do most of the labor of governance while nobles enjoy the season or retreat to their country estates.”
“And you should be one to talk,” the Prench ambassador said, “You just used votes of succession as the excuse to invade southern Jutland. I wonder how those peasants will feel once their local burghers are replaced by toga-wearing winos.”
“Before this escalates further!” Duke Poppycock shouted to gain control of the conversation. “It seems some of the other races are quite blind. That impassioned speech is clearly him trying to paint himself as a victim.”
Vegeta’s eye twitched.
“It seems you don’t agree? Or was that twitch because you thought us stupid enough to fall for such obvious schemes.”
“He’s right,” Lord Fire Whirl said. “In that bestial speech, he clearly stated he embraced the darkness at an early age. Any normal foal would have died. You were broken from the start. And this greater dark mage you called emperor only recognized that and turned you into exactly what he wanted.”
“Then why—"
Vegeta raised his hand, “I got this, Celestia.” He lowered his arm. “You are exactly right. Frieza saw I had potential, as he put it, so he made me his new favorite toy. Frieza was almost as old as Celestia and Luna, but biologically, he was the equivalent of an older teenager, no longer a child but still not a fully matured adult. Again, my species lived 70-80 years on average, maybe reaching the 90s or 100 by chance and extensive medical intervention. But peak performance is reached much earlier before even perfectly healthy individuals start to decline. Half that time or slightly less. And even perfection was never enough for that man.”
Vegeta leaned forward, putting his elbow on one knee and his hand on the other. He looked around. “I. Was. A. Toy. To a bored, overgrown child, whose daddy decided to hand his empire over to him because he had become bored also and wanted to see what his bratty teenager could do when given control of the largest military in the galaxy at the time. Six hundred years of carnage and destruction — was a game. And I decided I did not want to play anymore. Let the generals and other upstarts fight over the corpse while smaller empires snap up the edges. I like having a bed. I like having food, water, more than one change of clothes and having more than one choice of uniform. I like having the person sneaking up behind me trying to do a surprise hug instead of fucking trying to kill me . The rest of the galaxy views survival and living as the synonyms, but Earth taught me it is NOT. And I chose to live.”
Vegeta leaned back and raised his hand again. “And I will say one more thing, since clearly that unicorn has figured out one of my tells is my uncontrollable eye twitches. Victim and survivor are not the same thing either. A victim lives or dies because the aggressor wills it. A survivor lives because they stole that power from their adversary. Stop calling me a victim. It insults the people I’ve killed. Ponies are all about empathy and compassion RIGHT ?”
Vegeta saw a lot of nods from the other races.
Celestia leaned in to Luna, “As glad as I am for him finding allies with the ambassadors, he seems to be turning them against us.”
“We know,” Luna whispered back. “There are emotions of agreement from many ponies, but between their own biases and the duke and first wizard publicly opposing him, they feel great guilt for those thoughts.”
“How many do we have if we can shake the duke up?”
“A little less than a quarter so far.”
“There is an obvious hole in your argument, dark mage,” a mare next to Lord Fire Whirl stepped forward.
“And your name is?”
“I am Countess Paladine of House Hospitaller. We have patronized medical advances in magic from before the three tribes united.”
“Alright, light blue mare, what’s this hole in my logic?”
“Excuse me?” she said, offended, “Did you not hear my name?”
“And did all of you not hear mine? It’s Vegeta. I’m not even demanding titles and honorifics. Just Vegeta. Or hell, call me Geets! I hate that nickname. All of you want to piss me off so I speak my mind? Geets is a great start.”
She bristled. “Alright, Dark Mage Geets. In your philosophy, you say you’re a survivor, not a victim. But under that definition, aren’t you a victim of this Kakarot? Shouldn’t you be raging to kill this stallion instead of being friends with him?”
Vegeta nodded, “Yes. And if you had met me in my thirties, I was exactly what you described. The surrender of that ambition is only…” his face blanked, then he looked down and began touching his thumb to his fingers. “… longer than I thought… Gods I’m old…”
He did not continue.
“You? Surrender?” she continued. “After that impassioned speech about stealing your breath from the lives of others? Then what changed? What wonderful miracle caused this drastic shift in personality?”
Vegeta paused. He lowered his head and the ponies in the room were trying to convince themselves his drooping shoulders looked like anything else but shame.
Vegeta took a steadying breath and opened his eyes. “An event happened to me that I have learned is called a geas in your language.”
There was a collective gasp from the entire room.
Vegeta looked like he was weighing his words carefully. “Almost twenty years ago, Earth was attacked by one of those empires gnawing at the edges. The people who came to Earth that had been fighting them for centuries said they were led by a near unbeatable dark mage, to use your words, with an unbreakable mind control spell. To the point those who fell under it were declared dead and treated like walking corpses.”
He took a breath. “There is a phenomenon Earthlings call ‘the call of the void’. A sudden, overwhelming thought to do something violent and stupid. Earthlings use the example of a perfectly rational, mentally sound, and healthy individual who cannot fly by any means looking out over a nature vista and getting a sudden brief urge to jump off the cliff to their deaths.”
“How can a ‘healthy’ individual have those thoughts, even for a split second?” Marquess Metis said loudly. “This whole race is clearly deranged.”
“It is not deranged,” the minotaur spoke up. “We call it the alluring.”
“My mother said ponies call it ‘the whisper’,” Prince Eric spoke up.
“Your family has a history of insanity going back generations,” Marquess Metis said. “Your opinion is invalid.”
“It’s called porphyria,” the Trottingham ambassador shouted angrily. “And griffon doctors have done more to treat it than any of you! It is a disease, not a mark of character. Take back that insult against the royal family right now!”
“Discolored urine has nothing to do with insanity,” Countess Paladine, “A dysfunction of the kidneys having anything to do with the mind is completely absurd.”
As the argument grew, Vegeta had a sudden look of recognition. He turned to Celestia. “Does bleeding also run in that royal family?” he whispered.
She lowered her head to whisper back. “Yes, many of Queen Victorious Morals’ sons and grandsons have bled to death very young. Another parallel?”
“Remember when I said my son likes fantasies based in the Victorian Era? I… tried to be the cool dad once and fell flat on my face.”
“Oh…” Celestia said, making the connection. “I’d not bring this up.”
“And what are you whispering about with the dark mage, Princess Celestia?” Lord Fire Whirl spoke up.
The argument stopped and everyone turned back to the dais.
“Prince Vegeta simply asked for clarification about your argument,” Princess Celestia said, raising her head.
“And what is his opinion?” Duke Poppycock asked. “He clearly has opinions considering his comments on magic.”
Vegeta sighed, “Because I saw parallels between magic and physics. I don’t know jack shit about medicine except using the basic equipment consistently used on me as a soldier. I’m sure my wife will have more answers and resources, but I don’t know shit.”
“‘Ask your wife’ seems to be your standard answer.”
“Don’t fathers instinctively say ‘Ask your mother’ on this planet?”
That elicited chuckles. Duke Poppycock looked annoyed.
“Let’s go back to this ‘Call of the Void’.” Marquess Metis said. “Why did you bring it up to begin with?”
The smile returned to the duke’s face.
“Because my calls of the void ultimately left me vulnerable to the geas—"
Vegeta got cut off before he could say anything else.
“How?” he demanded.
“I was getting to that before everyone started shouting at each other again,” Vegeta said, annoyed. “Introductions go both ways, you know.”
“And what is your… impression?” Duke Poppycock asked smugly.
“I see a lot of big egos in this room, but at least I’m self-aware of my own big head before you start calling the kettle black. I suggest a little humility goes a long way. I should have taken that advice long before I finally did.”
Vegeta sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, “Now, as I was saying before everything exploded again…
“I… I think the clearest example I can give from my own experience,” he looked uncomfortable. “is… after … passionate marital activities, when you're about to place your arm over her and spoon yourselves to sleep. A sudden thought rips through your body like lightning. ‘What the fuck are you doing? Kill this woman and leave. You should be carving your empire in blood.’ And you jump out of bed and run from the room, leaving her confused and pissed. And you can’t tell her why, because you’d rather be hated than feared… Or … my young son trying to sneak up behind me. I know he’s there. I know he’s just being silly. That I need to just be a dad and let him think he’s clever. But my body always turned around. Then I get screamed at for the bruise on his face or arm. I partially broke early on and went to doctors behind my family’s back. But even though we were close enough to interbreed, the genetic gap was too great for the medicine to work. Kakarot had left Earth for a religious pilgrimage. He had done it before, no one gave it any mind. He grew up in a temple and was a candidate to succeed the leader of the entire faith and hand selected the ultimate successor because no one would oppose him. Seven fucking years. His youngest son was born and I helped raise in that time!”
Vegeta took a breath and calmed down. “I hyper fixated on his absence. My misery, and the misery I was causing to everyone around me despite my best efforts were all his fault. Then the idiot returned for a day. And I had my chance. I was going to put him in the ground permanently and everything was going to be right with the universe. Then Earth was attacked that same day. I was angry. I was impatient.”
Vegeta raised his head. “The call of the void rang in my head with a bunch of stupid thoughts. Like if only I was on the other side, I could get my fight with Kakarot. … Then I screamed from what easily passed as the worst pain in my life… We’ve decided to tell the young children I don’t remember what happened next, what I did, until they are older, but that’s a lie. If I had truly blacked out like the many thousands before me, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. But I didn’t. Not completely. But I also wasn’t fast enough clawing my body back under control. While I could refuse most orders, any that aligned with the call of the void I did without hesitation. I attacked Kakarot like the rabid lunatic I was with no thoughts of who and what were around me. And it wasn’t until he tricked me and let me knock him unconscious that I was able to start pulling myself back.
“But by then there was irreparable damage and we barely clawed victory out of the pit I created. I surrendered after that, to Kakarot’s goodness as much as his strength. I won’t say everything was instantly better, but that scare pushed me to be honest and get the help I needed. And Kakarot ended his journey and came back permanently.” He gave a pained smirk, “And his constant nagging presence in my life became annoying for the complete opposite reason.”
Vegeta closed his eyes and took a breath, “I am broken. Broken in ways Princess Luna has not seen in centuries, not including the memory gap from her magical coma. But she was the first of your rulers to conclude I was not dangerous. Because she can see directly into my head. Then my actions proved it to Princess Celestia and Twilight. And finally, Princess Cadence. And now we are here trying to convince the rest of you.”
“Then Princess Cadence,” Marquess Metis turned his interrogation to her, “You battled against King Sombra for days. You understand the dangers of dark mages and have seen the trauma it causes first hand better than most ponies alive. What convinced you he was safe?”
Cadence sighed annoyed, “During Vegeta’s attempt to heal Pinkie Pie, he shattered his mind like a glass mirror. And Princess Luna took the four of us plus Discord in a deep dive to put him back together. Discord noticed he was reacting to my presence differently. He concluded that my love magic was making him think I was his wife. Which was confirmed when it started raining flowers, plush animals, and heart shaped chocolate. In the end I was the only one to get him to wake up by convincing him his wife forgave him for what I assume was the geas from the conversation.”
“How did you convince him?” Blarney asked. “Was it sexual? Did you need to let him rape you to escape his mind?”
Every pony gasped horrified.
“No!” “Fuck No!” Cadence and Vegeta shouted at the same time.
“You seem defensive,” Blarney pressed. “If it wasn’t sexual, then how did she do it, Prince Vegeta? In detail?”
“I don’t remember anything that happened while I was broken, other than a vague impression that my wife was there, but I know that was actually Princess Cadence now.”
“What a convenient explanation,” Blarney said.
“I’m not defending him,” Countess Paladine said. “But not remembering is completely normal for coma patients when mind dives are used to wake them up. He is believable on that point,” she said frustrated.
“Then you, Princess Cadence? In detail.”
“Yes, Princess Cadence! What did he do to you?” a pony demanded panicked.
“After I was teleported away from the others, I found myself in what Princess Luna said was the innermost corner of his mind. He was groveling at an imposing and immobile projection of his wife. I discovered I had some control over it and tried to comfort him and convince him she loved him gently like any normal pony. That did not work and he even drew back shouting she was not acting normally. I became frustrated and tried to think about what to do next. Then I lost control of the image. My frustration fed into the image and it savagely attacked Vegeta while screaming ‘I love you’ in a ghastly act of domestic violence.” She looked at Vegeta, “That worked and he woke up. I try not to think about why. ”
“It’s… It’s not like she hits me often!” Vegeta tried to defend her, “And never in front of the kids. She’s extremely kind. I’m just stupid and stubborn sometimes. Percussive maintenance.”
“You think getting beaten is equal to smacking a machine in frustration trying to get it to work?” the Feligypt ambassador said, “That’s awful.”
“Well, I’m awful! Stop insulting my wife! This line of questioning ends right now! Move on!”
Most of the ponies froze, terrified at the outburst.
Poppycock stopped Blarney from pushing the matter. They had what they wanted.
~~***~~
“I have a question,” Countess Paladine spoke up after catching her breath, “HOW did you heal Lady Pinkie Pie? What technique does Princess Luna want us to study in detail despite its obvious inferiority, judging by what was reported by its botched healing and your near death and shattered mind?”
“It’s also the only reason she is alive after everything else failed, but sure I’ll describe it.”
He stood again. “First, some backstory. When Luna and I found ourselves trapped in the mindscape during the first accident, she was unconscious for most of it, despite everything I tried to wake her up. I was also partially aware of the outside, so I knew she was injured by whatever happened. In one of the many religions practiced across the human tribes of Earth, there is a practice called stigmata. The founder of that religion was tortured and crucified to death. Through prayer and intense concentration,” Vegeta held his palms up, “they can cause themselves to bleed in the same locations of his wounds. So, I knew that there was precedence for the mind manifesting injuries on the body. I made a lucky guess healing could be done the same way. I’m sure everyone has had the experience of spending time and having real conversations and other interactions with friends and family only to wake up and discover the whole thing was a dream, and even looking back on it, you can’t believe it did not happen. Using lucid dreaming, I manifested a healer I know and set him loose. And it worked. She regained consciousness after her injuries disappeared, then she got us both to wake up. Just in time, too. When I finally was able to open my eyes, there was a sword about to go through my neck. Then Luna charged into the room and ripped it out of my executioner’s hooves.”
He looked back at Celestia, “I don’t blame Princess Celestia. Honestly, I’m surprised any ruler would wait two hours to make that choice to begin with, but I’m not going to argue with still being alive.”
“That’s impossible,” Lord Fire Whirl interrupted, “To even begin to think of that as a possibility would require—”
“Layering,” Vegeta interrupted. “That’s what Princess Luna calls it. And she freaks out every time I do it.”
There was a collective gasp and look of horror from the mages in the room. “That breaks the first rule of mind magic!” Lord Fire Whirl shouted. “This is the exact reason why we need to send foal teachers to reeducate the crystal ponies with the advances of the past thousand years! No wonder you ‘broke like a mirror’.”
“Don’t say such things about my subjects,” Cadence stomped her hoof. “Being cast 1200 years into the future does not mean we eradicate their entire history and culture for the sake of modernity.”
“You are a princess of Equestria.”
Cadence lifted her head tall. “I am Empress of the Crystal Empire and will protect my ponies as such.”
“You would go to war with Equestria?” Blarney pounced at the chance.
“If it came to that. Yes.”
“As any ruler should,” Celestia cut in. “Equestria has always and will continue to fully support the independence of the Crystal Empire. We would be disappointed in Princess Cadence if she turned her position to the sole benefit of Equestria instead of rebuilding the empire and securing its rightful place as an equal in the eyes of the other nations. She and Prince Shining Armor are not a puppet government in any form. Eulope has many intermarriages and nobles who have moved countries to take over fiefdoms from foreign relatives. Yet no one would call any of these nobles puppets or accuse them of treason.”
Vegeta looked at Luna and Cadence, “If these crystal ponies use layering as part of their spell casting, maybe they can look at me with fresh eyes. Maybe they already have a working healing technique instead of trying to reinvent the wheel.”
“That is a good idea,” Luna beamed with happiness. She looked expectantly at Cadence.
She nodded. “I will send word once this is over. The sooner we figure out Prince Vegeta’s magic the better.”
Vegeta nodded and looked back at the room, “Any other questions anyone can think of? I’m sure the rumor mills have been busy.”
A pony hesitantly raised her hoof, “Did Celestia really break your horn off?”
“No.” Vegeta said, matter of factly.
The pony sighed relieved.
“I broke my own horn off.”
Every unicorn looked horrified.
“Why?!” a stallion shouted.
“I lost control of my magic. I felt a similar sensation from when the geas washed over my mind, and from what little I knew from my daughter’s stories, magic comes from the horn. So I snapped it off.”
“You could have died!”
“So I was told when I woke up in the hospital. As Discord says, I’m a glutton for punishment.”
“How many times have you almost died the past few days?” a pony said.
Vegeta looked thoughtful then began counting on his fingers.
“Nevermind! I don’t want to know.”
“It’s ok,” Vegeta grinned, holding up his fingers. “Only four off the top of my head. That’s not bad at all.”
Several ponies shivered.
“Anything else? Even something silly like my favorite color?”
“I’ll bite,” Pixiu raised his paw, “What’s your favorite color?”
“I like blues and purples. My wife thinks I look good in pink however and keeps buying me shirts… I think she just does it to annoy me. Same song and dance for three decades.”
“Do you wear these shirts?” one of the Golden Herd asked.
“Only in the house every once in a while, wouldn’t be caught dead outside. Especially when she’s having a bad day, I’ll go get flowers, change my shirt, and sneak up on her. Happy wife. Happy life.”
The room was starting to relax.
“That’s cute,” a mare said.
Vegeta put his hands in his pockets, “Yeah. One of the few things I can do right. Anything else?”
“What are your hobbies other than cannibalism and murder?” Blarney said sarcastically.
The room tensed up again.
Vegeta glared at him. “Why? Are they also yours?” he said, matching his sarcastic tone. “Looking for a guest for dinner?”
Duke Poppycock seethed. “How—”
“How DARE YOU!” Vegeta said dramatically comically waving his arms. “This is an outrage!” He changed the pitch of his voice to sound more feminine and pointed, “Don’t you know who I am?! Obey me, peasant!”
He smiled and shoved his hands back in his pockets, “Is that about right?”
Ponies were doing everything not to laugh at the powerful duke.
The ambassadors had no such concerns.
“But all seriously, I like to ice skate. Does it get cold enough for water to freeze here?”
“Yes,” Celestia said. “We have winter here and if by ice skating you mean moving on ice using metal blades on boots, then our worlds have the same thing.”
“Oh good,” he looked back at the room. “Maybe when I get my real body back, I’ll show off.”
“How did you get into ice skating?” a Muskox asked.
“The absolute absurdity of doing acrobatics on ice while balancing on the sharpened edge of knives strapped to your feet was too much not to check out. It was actually how I started seeing my wife in the first place.” Vegeta smiled. “I can’t say much because it involved the artifact being stolen but my wife and I bonded over all the pranks and petty revenge I helped her with after the fact.”
“Like what?”
“Oh, like breaking into her ex’s apartment, stealing all his clothes, and replacing them with pink tutus and glitter capes that had ‘I cheated’ embroidered on them. Then we stole his car, which legally was still in her name so she basically stole her own property and he couldn’t do anything about it. Drew a bunch of dongs like the immature fucks we still are even at this age.” Vegeta crossed his arms and had an intense look on his face. “Gods, what else did we do to that bastard… let me think a moment…”
“I think we get the idea,” Celestia said giggling.
“You sure? There’s the part where I had to knock out his roommate and jump out the window and book it to the car. She was the getaway driver.”
Most of the chuckles instantly stopped. Except for one pony.
“The marchioness would like to know if car is the word for carriage in your language?” Robin Song asked as Lady Pumpernickel was gripping her sides.
“It’s a specific type of carriage, yes.”
“What happened to the pony you knocked out?” a pony asked tentatively.
“He only grayed out and never lost consciousness. I didn’t hit him that hard. It was just messing with them, not actual combat. But then afterwards we went to get ice cream and that was that.”
“How do you know he did not lose consciousness?” another asked.
“Mutual friend group. They actually became friends again and he was a major babysitter. Being in the same military unit, feuds lasting too long compromises effectiveness and they had been in a cycle of breaking up and getting back together since they were pre-adults. So, maybe ten-fifteen years by the time we met.” Vegeta sighed and raised his palm. “Yes, my geas is the perfect example of what not to do. I am an asshole. A nice asshole trying to un-asshole-ify himself. But still an asshole.”
“One, that is not a word. Two, you are claiming reformation? To what end? What is your goal so late in life?” Irmhild demanded.
“I want my children to remember me fondly. And know that despite my struggles, when I had a choice, I walked away from the violence I knew all my life to be with them.”
“You always had a choice,” Lord Fire Whirl said. “You chose violence and death.”
“Ok, bastard. You a grandfather?”
“Why?” he said suspiciously.
“Ok. Take a toddler. Kill their mother in front of them. Then tell them if you don’t kill this random person, you’ll kill Daddy. What do you think your grandchildren will do? Save Daddy or freak out so bad the person kills daddy and then kills them and moves on to the next toddler.”
“That preserves their purity.”
Vegeta suddenly laughed. He gripped his stomach and bent over.
“What’s so funny?” Lord Fire Whirl demanded.
Vegeta leaned up, trying to take deep breaths to stop. “You really think that? Oh, you’re in for a shock. I’ll make sure to wave at you when I get frog marched past your cell in hell.”
“What did you just say?!” he shouted.
“Let’s look at that scenario from the gods’ view.” He held up his hand and began raising fingers one by one, “That child committed murder. That child failed to save their father so are culpable for his death no different than the bad man who killed him. The child did not attack and kill the bad person with the weapon. But you could argue the bad man was not dumb and made sure he couldn’t be injured, you say? But there is always that one millionth of one percent chance that it could have worked, so not being able to materialize that very unlikely outcome makes them responsible of not only their father’s death,” Vegeta stopped laughing and gave him a death stare, “but the deaths of every person that bad man kills the rest of his life. Because he failed to stop him. What purity exists in that scenario? The second the bad man looked at the child, they were condemned to hell. And the gods don’t give a fuck. And I don’t give a fuck about them in return.”
Vegeta raised his arms to either side, “You think I’m trying to save my ass with a deathbed baptism or something? Did you forget I am nothing? Worth less than shit? To be forgotten and erased? That’s not just the opinion of mortals.” Vegeta then pointed at himself again with both hands. “All I want,” his voice suddenly cracked, “is my kids not to hate me.”
~~***~~
“I think that’s enough,” Celestia sighed. “Let’s move on.”
She took a step forward. “Races of Equus. We have an announcement to make, and an apology to give. It has come to our attention and with undeniable truth that ki IS real. And Equestria formally apologizes to Neighpon and the eastern kingdoms who practice the art.”
Every pony gasped.
Celestia then raised her hoof towards the group, “If you want more details on how ki works in our world specifically, then we have experts right here from the nations that practice ki here on Equus. If Ambassadors Ferghana of Weigh, Kongque of Wu, Kouma of Neighpon, Gyeongjuma of Samhock, and our esteemed guests Lord Feiyu and Monk Pixiu from the Sacred Lands of Teabit would come forward, we can begin.”
Pixiu nodded and moved forward, causing the room to part. Feiyu was next to him, followed by the two horses, peacock, earth pony, and their assistants. Vegeta grabbed his chair as the princesses moved to make room up on the stage.
“Monsters!” the old pony shouted.
“Evil” “Demons!” “Dark wizards!” were among the insults hurled at them as they climbed on stage.
“Do ponies always jump on the bandwagon and snowball like this?” Vegeta whispered to Celestia. “One word and they’re a raging mob.”
“Yes, this is normal behavior.”
Vegeta sighed. “Remind me to tell my wife not to introduce any social media…” he grumbled.
“Greetings beings of the outer nations,” Pixiu started.
Suddenly an apple came from the crowd. It stopped mid air in front of Pixiu. He continued to smile and did not react, “I am Monk Pixiu of the Sacred Lands. My dear friend Lord Feiyu and I are the current keepers of the joint shine shared between our neighboring countries.” The apple fell to the ground. “We have been in Equestria for five years,” he tapped his stomach, “and I must commend your country on your delicious—.”
“Who threw that?!” Celestia shouted. “Luna!”
Luna lit her horn, and everyone watched as what had just happened reversed. The room parted as Celestia and Luna marched up to the offending unicorn. She cowered in fear.
“Princesses, I must ask forgiveness in this situation,” Pixiu continued to remain calm and smiled, “Even if this was real life and not a dream, it is not like any harm would come of it. Allow the pony to have a chance to learn instead of any punishment.”
“The only reason you remain in our dreamplane is by his mercy,” Luna glared at the unicorn.
“I will also honor his request of mercy,” Celestia said. “But do not offend again.”
The two returned to the front leaving the pony crying on the floor.
Pixiu looked sympathetically at the pony before continuing. “Before we delve into ki, we have a story to share about the Sacred Lands encounter with Starswirl the Bearded.
“When he and his group entered Teabit, they had a large mirror with them. They explained it was a portal that had stopped working as Starswirl placed it down in the manor lord’s greeting room. The mirror suddenly activated and Starswirl found he could no longer control it or pick it up. He warned everyone to stay away, explaining the danger of the other side, but children don’t listen. Some of the lord’s children snuck through the mirror and came back with a story of being transformed into a different race and visiting a city where everyone wore the same clothes.
“Starswirl did not believe them as the one and only time he went through the mirror he was not transformed, which the children pointed out to his fury. He went to smash the mirror when several ponies came through. As any responsible adults, they had followed these unknown children. After the raw panic of being transformed into such an anatomically different species, one of them spoke. ‘Holy fuck, a talking panda!’ And thus were the first words of Lord Hui Fen, the being who introduced Buddhism to our world. The grand city the children spoke of was actually one of the largest temples in the matching country, which they called Tibet. Starswirl eventually threw his hooves up and abandoned the mirror a few weeks later, claiming no one listened to him. The small country manor became our capital city and contact and trade through the mirror flourished for 160 years. We discovered that there was only one race of beings on the other side, and at first the mirror would transform the visitors randomly, but the mirror soon settled on either earth ponies, horses, donkeys, or the occasional panda, and that transformation stayed consistent over successive visits.” Pixiu raised his voice proudly, “I am descended from the humans who came through the mirror. As are the majority of our small pony population.”
“Oh, shit. Fuck you Shen Long,” Vegeta thought.
“But then suddenly for unknown reasons, the mirror closed, trapping many on the wrong side. Starswirl, who had extended his life through the magical arts, was still alive and agreed to take the mirror to try to fix it. The mirror was never returned, as we received word of his death to the heartbreak of many. But life moves forward.” He then looked behind him, “Jietang. Li Jing.”
A horse in Weigh clothing and a peahen came up, sat down, and held up their front hooves or wings.
Two balls of light formed.
Pixiu turned back to the room “Ki is—”
“This is not real!” the old pony shouted. “Don’t be fooled! This is just a projection like what the dark mage did!”
“Silence!” Celestia shouted. She again left the dais, but this time the ponies did not move aside. She recognized them as the ponies who came with Duke Poppycock. She glared at them. “Move,” she said forcefully.
“We will not be silent!” The old mare ranted. “Just because the dark mage and you abusers have deceived the princesses does not mean the ponies of this nation will—”
Luna lit her horn and the pony vanished.
“Any pony else who wishes to leave this meeting, keep interrupting,” Luna spoke.
Everyone stayed silent but did not change their disdained glares at Celestia.
Celestia returned the look before returning to the dais.
“Our apologies for the interruption. Please continue.”
“Thank you,” Pixiu bowed. “Now, ki is a being's physical life force, the energy in the body. It can be used up, resulting in exhaustion. The body usually loses consciousness when too much ki is lost, but it can still be a deadly situation. Ki has a fortifying effect, like earth pony magic. Power of the muscles and bones have its limits, but ki can strengthen the body well beyond these limits. No matter the initial amount of ki a being is born with, with training it can be cultivated to great heights with effort. Ki reacts to emotions, which is why Buddhism stresses meditation and mental balance.” He looked at Vegeta, “While it is perfectly possible to grow and use ki without these, it is not healthy for the practitioner, especially when cultivated through anger and hate.”
He looked back at the room, “Giving ki to another can temporarily solve exhaustion, and those with special gifts can trigger the body to rapidly heal wounds. With much effort, ki can be expressed outside the body, resulting in abilities like flight, levitation, barriers to protect from wind and rain, and peaceful use of breaking objects like removing stones, felling trees, melting snow, and plowing fields. Then there is the martial arts as a form of discipline, training, and meditation.
“When the prayers and practices came over, horses, donkeys and pandas had an easier time manipulating their ki than those who became ponies did. Most ponies who came through the mirror did not have their cutie marks, and those who gained them often lost the ability to use ki in its entirety until they returned to the other side. This led to a lot of study, and it was discovered that in our races, ki lies beyond the mana heart, so ponies naturally had the hardest time as they had to get past the massive amounts of magic they had compared to other races. But it is not insurmountable, and ki was recovered after a few years and has since spread to all beings regardless of if they descended from humans or not. Every living being has ki. Every being can use ki with effort and training. Even alicorns who possess the greatest amount of magic of all of us. And we are willing to teach.”
“I have already agreed to these lessons,” Celestia interjected. “After seeing how quickly ki was learned by Lady Pinkie Pie just from the simple descriptions Prince Vegeta gave concerning his native species’ abilities. While it is clear she is a savant with ki, as Princess Twilight is with magic, I do have every intention to not be outdone.”
“We ask that everypony keep an open mind on this,” Luna said. “Our biases have proven us deeply wrong, and to grow as a being, one must recognize one’s own faults. A new age is starting for Equus. While Prince Vegeta’s powers are currently limited, his friends will be coming to Equestria in their native state. Meaning they will have full use of their ki. Both as soldiers and healers, monks and merchants. As the short century the mirror functioned revolutionized the lives of the eastern kingdoms, we are now at the beginning of an era of change. Magic, technology, medicine are all about to be revolutionized for both our planets. And it would be horribly wrong of Equestria to monopolize these gifts. Once things stabilize, we have every intention to encourage the Earth tribes to expand their friendship beyond our borders. There will be other invitations and meetings in the near future, so we ask the embassies to keep this in mind over the next few months to a year.”
“Change is hard. Change is scary,” Cadence began. “But as I’ve seen the crystal ponies grow and adapt to the new world they have found themselves in, I know the ponies of Equestria can rise to the occasion and achieve the same feats. ‘Time moves forward,’ as Pixiu kindly put it, ‘And we move forward with it whether we like it or not.’”
“Let’s start the questions,” Celestia said. “And remain civil ,” she warned.
“What does ki have to do with the horrible abuses the former CPS director was so adamant about stopping?” one of the ponies that stopped Celestia demanded in a harsh tone.
Kouma spoke. “The reason ponies cannot normally use ki is because a mana heart prevents access. It is why we magic lock our foals until they can use ki proficiently, then slowly remove the locks so they can learn to dig through the barrier and keep the path open in opposition to their magic. Some are able to and can fully practice both.” He raised his left front hoof and pulled back his sleeve, revealing a thin metal band. “Many must choose to limit the use of one or the other. That is our way of life, and we will not apologize for it or abandon it. Just because our ponies do not gain their marks until later years compared to Equestrians does not mean we abuse our foals in any way.”
“Then why can Prince Vegeta and Lady Pinkie Pie access it?” another demanded.
“I couldn’t access my powers until I was ‘chained in so many magic locks I couldn’t do a card trick’, as one of my guards said,” Vegeta said. He looked at Pixiu.
Pixiu nodded and turned to the room. “Lady Pinkie was originally born with little magic, making her disabled by Equestrian standards. This was not detected originally because ki's physical enhancements mimic earth pony magic. The mana currently running through her filaments is not native to her body, but was absorbed from the laughter elemental crystal. The scars from the sudden influx are there when looked for. The same for princesses Twilight and Cadence as a result of their ascensions.”
“And how do you know what these ‘scars’ look like?” Countess Paladine asked skeptically. “I have never heard of this.”
“If a child’s shackles are removed too quickly, it will leave a mark.” Kouma said. “While it has no effect on magic use, it does hamper ki access. Which is why no one else recognizes it as a problem.”
“Then why does Lady Pinkie Pie still have access after becoming a bearer?” she said.
“Because of her sheer amount,” Ferghana said. “I’ve been ambassador to Equestria for twenty years. I felt a strong light the moment I entered the city off in the distance, and I have felt it grow in brilliance and strength until it blazed like the sun. And the handful of times in recent years when that light entered the city, it was physically painful. Then yesterday by the clock, everyone in the embassies who can sense ki almost fell over from a huge wave of power.” He looked at Feiyu, “Lord Feiyu risked being accosted by pegasi, again , to see, and he saw the source of the bright light for the first time. A pink earth pony flying through the air with a look of terror on her face. He followed her and a few moments later she crashed through the open balcony door of a rich pony’s home. When her ki nearly vanished moments later, he looked in and saw her on top of another pony, bleeding from a wound facing the window, unconscious, and everyone in the room in panic. He rushed back and told us what he saw. He said it was a huo qiang wound, and we all admonished him, saying that weapon did not exist in Equestria. But we were all proven wrong when the lesser princesses came to our embassies searching for information on the black powder that prevented the closing of the wound by normal magic.”
“Lord Feiyu!” Celestia leaped up and landed in front. “You saw it? You really saw it?”
Feiyu nodded.
“Why did you not tell us?”
Feiyu twisted.
“He says ‘What pony would believe a kintu’on after the near daily murder attempts by your pegasi since he arrived 5 years ago? This is why we abandoned this continent to its fate and wish upon you the mercy of heaven you have no business receiving otherwise.” Pixiu answered.
Celestia’s ears and wings drooped. “Lord Feiyu, on behalf—”
Lord Feiyu turned around showing his tail.
“I believe you have your answer princess,” Pixiu said. “Please allow us to continue.”
Celestia nodded and walked around the group returning to her spot.
“This thing clearly has a grudge against ponies! How can we trust anything it claims to say if this is not just a giant ruse in and of itself! Who ever heard of a race of talking clouds?!” Duke Poppycock shouted.
“We have seen and heard of the great and holy kintu’on!” Lord Nanda shouted loudly.
The two horses from the Golden Herd reared up and shouted, “We will stand by the honor of the great kintu’ons!” They slammed their feet down.
The Garudas took to the air. “We also testify to the existence of the pious and holy kintu’on! This is the exact reason why they have turned their backs on your kingdom and kind save the repentant of the eastern kingdoms!” they screeched angrily.
Prince Eric jumped forward and got in between raising his wings. “Wait! Calm down! There’s no reason for this to escalate!”
He then felt something soft tapping the top of his head. He turned and saw Feiyu next to him, patting the top of his head with his tail.
“He says, “Sweet infant. I will allow no violence. Do not be afraid.”
“I’m not an infant. I’m thirty-six!”
Feiyu curled up like a shrimp for a bit, then unrolled and patted his head again.
“He laughs at you and called you a silly infant again,” Pixiu said, chuckling.
“How old is Lord Feiyu?” he asked.
Feiyu flattened out with upturned edges, then puffed back up and returned to the front, twisting all the way.
“He shrugs and says he stopped counting after 300 thousand years. He’ll need to check his records, but he doesn’t think he’s hit 500 thousand yet.”
Prince Eric’s jaw was on the floor.
Feiyu curled up again. Then he split himself like a mouth, dropped the lower hinge to the floor and lifted it repeatedly.
“That’s ridiculous!” Lord Fire Whirl said. “Equus is nowhere near that old!”
“Earth is 4.7 BILLION years old,” Vegeta said, “and that’s pretty young compared to some life bearing worlds.”
Lord Fire Whirl pressed his lips together.
“You know I could run a rice cooker off of all the steam coming out of your ears right now.”
Pixiu’s eyes widened and he clasped his paw over his mouth. Luna did no better hiding her chuckle.
“Vegeta, sarcasm,” Celestia scolded.
“Yes, ma’am…” Vegeta said, rocking his head back and forth.
This got more chuckles from the room. Which silenced the moment he stood up.
Vegeta walked over to Prince Eric. “You’ve been quite talkative, young man.” Vegeta lifted his arm, “Why don’t you head up front somewhere for the rest of the meeting and if you would like, maybe set up a private meeting when I’m not in a full body cast.”
“Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.”
Vegeta put his hand to the side of his mouth, “Hey! Babysitter 1 and 2! Come up here too. Find a spot.” He then extended his arm again and waved them up.
Olov and Eetu glanced at each other, then walked up.
Irmhild locked eyes and glared at Olov. He was not happy.
Olov nodded slightly.
“Nice job drawing attention to yourself,” he scolded arriving.
“But you said more insults like that could—”
“I did. And now you’ve drawn the attention to not just yourself, but put your kingdom in the middle of this feud and not given any room for neutrality to your parents without damaging your reputation.” He lightly shoved him. “Go find a spot and keep your beak shut the rest of the time here.”
“Sorry kid. Technically he’s right about that.” Vegeta smiled, “But thank you. I like your enthusiasm.” He returned to his seat. “So, the black powder?”
They all nodded. A quick chat and Pixiu picked up.
“Black powder has many uses, and like Buddhism and ki, it came through the mirror. It came in the form of toys and fireworks, but its use as a weapon takes little imagination after seeing what can happen to a body without the care and respect needed when dealing with higher amounts of the powder. As was said, our word for this weapon is huo qiang.” He looked at Ferghana.
“Our word for it is chong. And we are aware The Golden Herd’s word for it is gonne.”
“Our word is coeng,” Kongque said. “We are also aware that the Garuda’s word is sung.”
“Our word is also chong,” Gyeongjuma said.
“And ours is Ju,” Kouma said.
“Will the Garudas and Golden Herd representatives confirm this?” Celestia asked.
“Yes,” said one of the Garudas. “We also know through our trade networks that sungs are used in Ashtavinayaka, Saddle Arabia, and Feligypt.”
“We use gonne as well,” one of the Herd’s horses said. “Every tribe we ruled over at our greatest and every tribe we battled against but failed have taken and used these against us. Including Muskovy, Ottomanes, Saddle Arabia, Ashtavinayaka, and especially the Griffon Empire. They took our simple gonnes and created more powerful ones and drove us back. Then gave them to the tribes and provoked them to rebel. Everything that has happened in the western provinces these past 150 years is solely the empire’s doing!”
“That is ridiculous! We have no idea what these horses are neighing on about!” Ermendrud shouted.
“Same!” the Feligypt ambassador said. “We have no idea what this is about.”
“Saddle Arabia would like to express neutrality in this conflict,” Prince Rasheed said. “We confirm or deny nothing.”
“We also express neutrality,” Lord Nanda said.
“We also express ours,” Muskovy said.
“Lapland expresses our neutrality,” Eetu said.
“As does Gotaland,” Olov said. He then jabbed Prince Eric so hard in the ribs he was knocked sideways.
“Norway and Jutland express neutrality,” he blurted out.
“Princess Celestia!” Duke Poppycock shouted. “This meeting is about the dark mage, not spinning wild stories concerning Lady Pinkie Pie’s attempted murder by Bocce Boules in the middle of the street in front of nearly a hundred testifying witnesses!”
“If one hundred ponies were dumb enough to lie, then any pony involved with fabrication of evidence will be executed without hesitation,” Celestia glared at Duke Poppycock, “as according to the law.”
“Princesses,” Judge Blackstone spoke up. “It is impossible for a pony to lie under enhanced interrogation. Are you suggesting otherwise?! That invalidates the very core of our laws and justice system!”
“When done correctly, yes. But as I said, any pony fabricating evidence will be dealt with.”
“You’re basically accusing this entire justice system of corruption on an unprecedented scale,” Duke Poppycock shouted. “What is more believable, tens of thousands of police, guards, prosecutors, and judges conspiring together or YOU trying to save a pony the royals have clear ties with?! This is tyranny! Something to be expected from Nightmare Moon or King Sombra — Or a DARK MAGE whispering in the Sun Princess’ ear!”
“While the magic council takes no sides in politics,” Lord Fire Whirl said. “This meeting is solely about the dark mage. Let’s return to it.”
“Lord Fire Whirl and children of the council,” Judge Blackstone spoke up. “You are all the best mages in the land. Surely you will debunk the possibility of lying under spell?”
One of the children spoke up, “I am Marquess Candle Douter of House Pyro, son of Lord Fire Whirl, for those who do not know me. I’ve trained many law enforcement officers in spellcraft. While what the judge said is technically true, the major caveat is done correctly . There have been court cases where errors occurred because of botched interrogations. In fact, I just returned from Trottingham for consulting on such a case. But these are easily noticeable by medical staff because of sudden changes of behavior of the witnesses in question. As this case is only a day old, it is just too early to tell. While corruption on such a wide scale as the princess described is impossible, a poor technique over multiple witnesses can swing a case. This should be looked at, if only to clear the officers in question and preserve their good reputations.”
Judge Blackstone looked frustrated that he left the door open to the spell failing even if he shot down the conspiracy.
“Before we pivot,” Luna said. “We have one more speaker. Someone intimately familiar with the weapons used against Lady Pinkie Pie. A former unteroffizier trained in the heart of the Holy Gryphon Empire, the highest rank a non-noble can rise in their military. A war hero with many medals, including a black cross.”
As Luna spoke, Celestia went to the dais’ side room and entered.
She found Mido in uniform, limbs intact, his coat folded to the side and the helmet on top. He was kneeling on a rug, constantly pressing his forehead to the ground before sitting up again.
“Mido, we are ready for you,” she said sweetly.
“And Prince Vegeta is there waiting?”
“Yes, he has not disconnected. He is ready to support you.”
Mido did one more cycle before standing up. He walked over and put on his helmet.
“Then let’s save that kitten.”
Chapter 30: Before the Fall
Chapter 30: Before the Fall
Mido walked out.
“Traitor!” the Feligypt ambassador shouted the moment he saw him.
“Quiet,” Irmhild ordered.
“You slaughtered us after we assisted the MVSN and Sturmabteilung with weapons testing! WHO betrayed who!”
Celestia came up behind him. “Please step to the center and introduce yourself.”
He nodded and made his way to the front. The ambassadors stepped to the side. Their assistants hopped off the end of the dias and stood in front of the hallway door. Vegeta snapped his fingers and a platform appeared. Mido looked at Vegeta, smiled and climbed the steps.
He looked out over the heads of the ponies and the ambassadors. “My name is Mido al-Qitt. Survivor of the 5th Hawara Midfa battalion. We participated in the conquest of the Ard ul-Fayruz and were later killed along with hundreds of civilian prisoners in the desert after the battle of Aqabarb as victims to new weapons testing.”
“That’s outrageous! That never happened!” The Feligypt ambassador shouted again. “Saddle Arabia, confirm this!”
“Feligypt did seize Ard ul-Fayruz six months ago. However, to my knowledge, I cannot confirm this male’s identity as a participant.”
He gritted his teeth.
“Said silence,” Irmhild lowered his head to speak directly in his ear.
Prince Rasheed’s attendant began tapping his back hoof.
~~***~~
In the embassy, staff looked over the sleeping trio.
“See, I told you Omar kicks his back feet while sleeping,” one aide chuckled, elbowing another. “Stupid looking, right.”
“Sounds as good a time as any.”
“Time for—?”
He didn’t get to finish.
~~***~~
Mido was being bombarded by questions and not given time to answer.
“How did you even escape and end up in Equestria?” Blarney demanded.
Mido lost his patience. “I will answer everything after my presentation. I will not be delayed any longer.”
Mido suddenly collapsed backwards.
“Mido!” Vegeta grabbed him and held him in his arms.
Suddenly Rasheed screamed as his body below half way down his neck vanished. His head fell but evaporated before it hit the ground.
“Prince Rasheed!” Celestia ran over to where he was.
Mido looked up at Vegeta’s face. “…thank you… for being so kind…” Mido evaporated as well, briefly leaving Vegeta caked in blood before it too vanished leaving him completely clean.
“What’s happening?!” a mare shouted.
Rasheed’s aide, Omar, who stood unflinching the whole time, spoke. “There is no need to worry everyone! They have simply been executed, by the sultan’s orders.”
He then looked at the shocked Celestia as he walked over and stood proudly next to the smug Irmhild.
“In accordance with the new treaty of eternal friendship between Saddle Arabia and the Holy Gryphon Empire, Saddle Arabia officially withdraws from all treaties with the pony nations, and all factions that would oppose such actions have been eliminated. And as all executions have been performed on sovereign embassy grounds, Equestria holds no jurisdiction over the matter.”
“But of course you know that fact intimately,” Irmhild said, “with the execution of the father of Princess Luna’s child on the order of the Saddle Arabian sultan at the time.”
“How do you know that?!” Celestia snapped.
“When we retook Constampedople, we found millennia of documents, including the dozens of frantic letters from Linus the Golden begging to marry Princess Luna to save her honor. But it seems Linus the Golden had been traded in an arranged marriage as part of a newly signed treaty with Saddle Arabia at the time. We also found the mountains of correspondence between the Bitatine emperor and the sultan coordinating his execution along with the massive amounts of compensation to stop the war from restarting.”
Luna hicced drawing everyone’s attention. She was failing horribly holding back tears.
Celestia looked at her, then glared at the horse and griffon.
The nobles were murmuring.
“Oh? Was it a secret here?” the aide said. “The griffon empire is not one to hide such ancient … archaic … and superfluous history and gladly published their archeological findings. I’m sure everyone east of the Rhine knows about the pregnancy.”
The griffon ambassador took his turn in the mock conversation. “And Princess Luna’s reaction to the death by locking herself away for over a month only to emerge haggard and visibly lost such a great deal of weight. About six months before she became Nightmare Moon.” He looked at the aide, “Come to think of it, it was also around ten months after the first of Linus’ frantic letters.”
“I believe so,” the aide answered. “And wasn’t Sundial’s filly born a few weeks beforehand? The one that was caught calling Princess Celestia grandma as a toddler? I wonder where the child learned to call the esteemed princess such a silly word?”
Luna collapsed and began to bawl, spewing rivers of tears.
But Celestia started to laugh.
Not a good laugh, something audibly wrong with it.
Many nobles and delegates backed away pinning themselves against the far walls.
“So, the kingdom that stole my sister’s happiness has joined forces with the kingdom that stole mine? And over what? Splitting what’s left of the Ottomanes between you in the mountains?” She tweaked her head at an odd angle, “What an insignificant prize for the price. ”
Omar’s eyes widened and jerked his head between her and Irmhild, “What’s she talking about?”
She laughed harder. “What? Did you think I never set the sun over Pinkie Pie? I love her dearly…” She began to slowly walk towards the griffon delegation. “but the kidnapping and murder—” She blinked her eyes, her irises becoming slits as she approached. “of my dearest HUSBAND is more worthy of an unending day, don’t you think?”
Irmhild’s eyes widened with realization. But his son took a step back, panic written all over his face.
“There is no prince of Equestria!” he shouted. “And even if you were married, a morganatic marriage holds the same diplomatic weight as a prostitute!”
“Ermendrud, quiet!” Irmhild shouted at him. He looked back at Celestia.
She cocked her head again at an unsettling angle turning her attention to Ermendrud.
“Somebody looks guilty~” Celestia said rhythmically as she turned directions.
Irmhild jumped in front of his son, raising his wing, “I don’t like what you are implying about my son, or my empire!”
“Somebody looks guilty~” Celestia continued in her slow walk, her hair beginning to lose its rainbow sheen turning golden yellow. Flames began to dance through her hair. Emotion rippled through the air like blasts of sound felt by the soul.
Revenge. The sickly and green desire to inflict pain for their own pleasure was starting to be reflected at the very tips of the flames.
As beings began to quiver under the assault to their senses, Luna forced herself to her trembling hooves despite her uncontrolled crying.
“Somebody looks guilty~” Celestia’s voice sharpened, along with her teeth.
Luna blasted her horn, not at Celestia, but at the griffons.
~~***~~
Everyone in the room was disorientated finding themselves in a new location.
An image of Ermendrud was humming a song as he walked down a hall.
The griffons instantly recognized the location.
“What the seven hells do you think you’re doing?! This is illegal coercion and espionage of the highest order!”
Luna walked up, glaring at Ermendrud, “Then I suggest NOT thinking about the deaths that are about to happen.”
The scene instantly jumped to Ermendrud arriving in a teleportation circle into what was clearly an inside room of a pony noble estate with nine other griffons.
“What are those things they are carrying?” the nobles whispered among themselves.
“Greetings Duke Poppycock.”
Everyone gasped as he raised his arm. “Hail the emperor.”
Ermendrud returned the greeting.
They all walked off the platform. “I was surprised when you asked for guards equipped with sturmgewehr. What is the special occasion?”
“In a moment, but firstly, did you send one of your assassins after my nephew’s romantic rival?”
Ermendrud smiled, “Isn’t that obvious.”
Poppycock poofed two newspapers and threw them at his feet. “BECAUSE HE MISSED AND HIT LADY PINKIE PIE!”
His feathers puffed up. “How dare you accuse a Scharfschutze of missing his target!”
“Well, he did! Lady Pinkie Pie just got out of surgery in the palace.”
“So, she is dead?”
“No, she’s alive.”
“Impossible! Magic cannot heal kurel wounds.”
“Dark Magic can apparently. One of the doctors was mindbroken from exposure. We found him wandering around aimlessly in the streets muttering to everyone he passed.” He pointed at the paper, “That’s the drafts of what we’re putting in the papers. These will be raining from the sky like a featherbrain breaking a weather machine in thirty minutes and then another hour.”
Ermendrud looked down at the paper on top. “You’re framing the target?”
“Ignoring that you just confessed, yes,” Duke Poppycock said angrily. “His special talent is levitation. He’s even beaten Princess Twilight in contests of skill.”
“I see, then he is theoretically capable of creating gewehr-like injuries? So why ask us here if you already have what you need?”
“Some key witnesses are having… difficulty, properly remembering what actually happened. I cannot proceed without their cooperation.”
Ermendrud looked up angrily, “I may have been barely older than a cub, but I distinctly remember you telling my father you had the city guard and judiciary so completely under your control you could frame Princess Celestia for actually being Nightmare Moon in a conspiracy to rule Equestria alone and no pony would ever question it. It is the only reason we have been backing your efforts to restore your family to the throne.”
“This is a fabrication!” the real Duke Poppycock shouted, raising his hoof in the air.
Luna lit her horn.
He, Blarney, and the griffon delegation minus Ermendrud froze.
“Do not worry, my little ponies. Time in the dreamplane is controlled by the spell. I simply sped it up for most of us. They are fine, and will continue on their rant once it is equalized again. Any more interruptions, and we will remove thee as well.” She took a step and glared at the nobles surrounding the frozen duke. “Do ye understand?”
They all cringed under her gaze and nodded.
Luna lit her horn again and the scene continued.
“These individuals were involved in an earlier incident that had the Wonderbolts as witnesses we simply cannot edit out of the narrative,” memory Duke Poppycock continued, “I don’t care how many you choose, but leave enough alive to get enough statements, will you?”
Ermendrud smiled, “I will leave it realistic enough that a simple peasant can accomplish the feat.”
Duke Poppycock nodded. “My servants waiting on the other side of the door will guide you to the cell. I have more groundwork to do before I can finalize plans with your father.”
Ermendrud lifted the first paper to glance at the second. He laughed. “You’re finally moving then? It’s about time. The emperor has been growing impatient.”
“We need to destroy Princess Celestia’s support base before anything else can be started. But Equestria’s laws are now in our favor like never before to topple the alicorns when pushed at the right moment.” Duke Poppycock turned around. “This way.”
He and Ermendrud entered the hallway. “Show our guests to the cells,” he ordered the stallion in a footman’s uniform.
He bowed, “Yes. Right this way, honored guests.”
Duke Poppycock exited in the opposite direction as the footman led the griffons away.
They were quickly led to the dungeon. Vegeta was surprised. It looked like a hospital, sterile and white instead of the primitive stone and crystal he experienced. Then he saw chairs with straps and instruments on trays set on rolling tables.
Whispers in the room began turning to Vegeta. His eyes had turned a shining blue and the same golden flames that kissed Celestia’s fur now danced around him. Another pulse of emotion began rippling through the room as Vegeta’s clothes went from gentle civilian attire to armor. White boots and gloves, blue under suit covering his skin, white and golden chest plate that flared at the shoulders supporting a red cape violently whipping in the tornado of sparks and flames. A jeweled pendant also fluttered loudly in the air and a ring of gold circled his head.
The awkward man had revealed the truth within, not the dark beast many nobles had tried to egg him into, but a king.
The wave of righteous fury knocked many off their hooves. The overwhelming desire to protect and punish.
Even Celestia slipped from the push, knocking her out of whatever consumed her. Everything about her returned to normal as she turned.
A golden ribbon suddenly snaked through the room, cutting the majority of the guests from the griffon and Saddle Arabian delegations and the nobles who had gone against the royals. The ribbon froze in place. It had a warm and inviting sensation and those who touched it found it hard as stone.
Whispers of Celestia casting a protection spell were quickly silenced.
“Prince Vegeta, lower thy protection. Your instincts are running wild. There is no need in my dreamplane,” Luna ordered.
“Don’t you know what we’re looking at?” Vegeta answered in a deep distorted voice worthy of a dark mage.
Lighting coursed through the ribbon, causing everyone to shout and back away.
“We can guess what thou are looking at, based on thy triggers,” she trotted over to him. “Thou said thou trusts us. We are stronger than our tears. We will not fail to protect our ponies again. All are safe in my embrace. Even thee.”
Vegeta let out a held breath as he looked up and fell to his knees as his royal trappings disappeared in fire.
The ribbon faded away.
There was an uncomfortable gasp among the nobles.
Vegeta did not return to the suit. He was barefoot, wearing a pair of pale gray cloth pants gathered by a string at his waist and a white shirt with no sleeves tucked loosely into the band. There were symbols running down the side of the pants and a different emblem on the right breast of the shirt than what had appeared on his royal armor.
Uppercrust snarked, “Commoner indeed. He truly views himself as a homeless beggar if this is his true mental image.”
Vegeta stood as the suit rematerialized. “For someone so decked in clothes you can barely see their cutie mark, even you must walk naked in your bedchambers. Or are you so insecure, you even need to convince your own bedsheets you’re someone important? Or is it your lover you’re so desperate to hide your ugliness from? Do you also sleep in your caked on makeup?”
Uppercrust gasped as Jetset jumped in front. “How dare—” but his retort died in his throat as Celestia snickered.
Luna slapped Vegeta’s arm with her front leg.
Vegeta was pushed off balance. His face flinched and he grabbed his arm. “What?” he said frustrated, “Would you rather I blast her in the face? She snarked and I snarked back! …You’re as bad as my wife, man…” he grumbled, rubbing his left arm where he got hit.
Everyone gasped at the threat of violence. Then a new whisper started seeing Vegeta’s continued grimacing and turning about.
“Is he in pain? You’re not supposed to feel pain in dreams.”
“An injury?” the council families whispered among themselves.
“A permanent one, if even in his dreams his mind simulates pain to this extent,” Marquess Metis whispered.
“He’s right hooved, so his left would be his choice to absorb injury if he could help the situation,” Countess Paladine said. “Broken bones, crushed tissue, nerve damage. He’s supposedly elderly and rapidly approaching his death, so he would be in tissue collapse on top of old injuries.”
“A weakness to remember,” Lord Fire Whirl said.
The footman returned, “The interrogators are finishing up with one of the prisoners. This way to the room.”
They were led down a hall with many glass rooms until they stopped at the one they were looking for.
A green unicorn was strapped and gagged to the chair, leaned back flat like a dentist chair with their head towards them. A blue unicorn with aged gray around his muzzle and throughout his mane and tail in city guard armor stopped the spell on the green one’s head and removed a gold circlet with runes and gems embedded in it. One of the two white unicorns in the room dressed in white coats and surgical masks stepped on a pedal and the chair righted itself with a whirl blocking the view of the victim. But what was not blocked was the intense healing spell that unicorn began casting as the second cleaned up the ungodly amount of blood with a single zap and pushed the table of instruments away.
The guard trotted out, and was so shocked he dropped the circlet from his magic.
“My apologies,” he said, picking it off the ground. “When the duke said he was calling in more experts in interrogations, I was not expecting griffons.”
“Oh? Even with all the public ties the duke’s companies have with imperial merchants?”
“Good point, again, my apologies,” he put the circlet in a case along the wall. “I’m Agent 9 of the interrogation squad of the city guards. And you are?”
“Not important,” Ermendrud answered. “Are you alone serving the duke?”
Agent 9 laughed. “No, I think the entire squad has been here at some point today. But I am the most skilled at the latest technique in our arsenal. Of course I developed it, so that’s obvious.” he bragged.
“Oh really? Would you share? One professional to another?”
“Sure,” he smiled. “I see no harm since griffons lack the ability to perform it.”
While they spoke, the unconscious green unicorn was dragged off behind them by more city guards.
No one paid any mind.
“As you know, or maybe you don’t,” he said with superiority, “one cannot implant memories into somepony’s mind without black magic. BUT, I’ve discovered how to twist existing interrogation spells to the same effect, no dark magic required!” The pony laughed, “The city guards have solved so many crimes since I’ve developed it. So many unshakable witnesses and heartfelt confessions, Princess Celestia has been giving out so many medals I’m surprised the country hasn’t run out of gold!”
Celestia seized as her rainbow hair began losing its color again.
“You haven’t told me yet,” Ermendrud smiled, “Come on, don’t leave us in suspense.”
“It’s because ponies are so trusting of authority. ‘Are you sure you saw an earth pony?’ ‘Are you sure that was the color of the pony you saw running away?’ ‘Are you sure that was the cutie mark?’ ‘Are you sure they ran down this street instead of that one?’ A skilled interrogator can completely replace the real memory with whatever they want and turn the witness into a raving fanatic that will die on the hill that the false memory is the real one. Now getting someone to confess is harder of course, but after some experimenting on ponies the duke has been providing, we’ve been able to convince ponies they assassinated Princess Celestia herself and have them take their own lives! In fact, I made that the final test for my students. Every interrogator in the guard can do it now, along with private lessons for nobles and their private security forces introduced by the duke.”
Ermendrud laughed, “So… ponies have finally discovered gaslighting! How wonderful.” He put his claw on the pony’s shoulder. “But don’t worry, I’m sure the methods you’ve developed are far superior to what we’ve been using for centuries. You can directly enter a being’s mind, after all.”
He took his claw off and took a few moments to stop laughing. “So… what’s gone wrong that we’ve been called in?”
The pony gritted his teeth, “While developing delusions during the process is not uncommon, these ponies have proven stubborn, even under enhanced interrogation. These ponies truly believe a dirty ground pounder can perform magic feats greater than even alicorns.” He raised his hoof in frustration. “Even manipulating time and altering the future! It’s disgusting.” He lowered his hoof, “And that’s not the worst one. One thinks he’s the husband of Princess Celestia!”
“And threatening vengeance?” Ermendrud cut him off.
“No, he’s begging to be released because he’s seen her mad, and he doesn’t want to imagine what she’ll do to us when she teleports to his side tonight and finds everyone here.”
Celestia’s wings drooped to the ground, “My poor, sweet Joe... Always thinking of others first.”
“Huh,” he chuckled, “Very pony-like. So, what are these enhanced techniques?”
“I think Dr. Aorta would best describe it. I need to quickly prepare to interrogate that waitress again.”
He poked his head in the glass door. “Dr. Aorta, come brief the new griffon interrogators Duke Poppycock brought in.”
“Griffons?!” One of the unicorns pulled the curtain away to look out the glass wall.
“Oh my…” he pulled the curtain back, “…One… One moment please!”
The guard came back and nodded to the griffons, “I look forward to witnessing your techniques. A wise pony always knows there is more to learn.” He trotted off.
The doctor came out, his white coat and fur now flawlessly clean.
“Oh my, that is Dr. Aorta…” the nobles whispered. “I remember him from the parties…” “He performed my surgery…” “And my father’s. He’s the best heart surgeon in the country.”
“Greetings, I am Dr. Aorta of the Canterlot Institute of Medicine.” He held out his hoof, “To whom do I have the pleasure?”
“None of your business, if you wish to keep it.”
Dr. Aorta swallowed and lowered his hoof. “Of course.”
“So, Agent 9 told me you would inform me on enhanced interrogation procedures so we know what has already been tried and can strategize a new approach.”
“Yes…”
“You seem nervous for an experienced interrogator?”
“This is my first time partnering with griffons. Your reputations on such manners are well known.”
Ermendrud laughed, “Oh I can assure you everything you know is only a pale imitation of the truth.” He stopped. “So, the enhanced techniques?”
“Yes. It is well known since ancient times that pain can interrupt the brain’s ability to visualize lies. Proper enhanced procedures were developed to manely induce pain without lasting damage to the body. That circlet you saw the agent carry is a pain amplifier. It can turn even a papercut into an experience similar to a broken limb.”
Ermendrud cocked his head smiling. “What I saw was more blood than a simple papercut.”
“Yes, I was called in after a frustrated agent accidentally killed a pony by overcharging the circlet. You do not say no to Duke Poppycock.”
“Was this your first time?”
“No. I was recommended for the program by my mentor back during my residency when I was barely older than a colt. When one learns how to do things correctly, you automatically learn how to do it wrong, like causing pain. Only the best of the best are allowed to touch a prisoner.”
“And if a recommended pony refuses?”
The doctor swallowed again. “Everyone in the program has witnessed at least one pony die from pain-induced organ failure. One does not say no to the duke and his family.”
“Good to hear, so what have you been doing?”
“I… I was ordered to bring a prisoner as close to death as possible. And repeat multiple times as necessary. I’ve been doing open heart surgery without anesthesia with only a rudimentary CPR spell to force air into the lungs… while removing the heart and allowing the prisoner to come to just to the point where death cannot be reversed and reattach the heart while an agent manipulates the circlet. One pony I’ve done it to ten times. There must be something wrong with him, maybe a neurological disorder that reduces pain responses. It’s all I could think of to tell the duke. He told me to do another round on the other prisoners while he went to find more… talented individuals.”
“Yes. And here we are,” Ermendrud said. “Your report was illuminating. Go after that agent and interrupt his interrogation. I want every prisoner sane and cognizant for what we are about to do.”
“Yes!” he ran away.
The other unicorn came out and curtsied. “Greetings, Legatus. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to ask.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Do I know you?”
Her white coat transformed into a maid’s outfit. “I am but a simple cleaning maid. I have cleaned after many of your visits with the young master.”
“Oh? You are also a nurse?”
“I am cross trained for such activities. The honorable duke ordered the best maids across all of his estates for this task.” She smiled and held her hooves over her heart. “The eternally magnanimous and handsome Marquess Blarney sent me,” she said with the mad devotion of a cultist. She returned to normal. “Would you like some of your favorite brierroot tea while we wait? I can teleport to the kitchen.”
“No thank you. This visit is for business, not pleasure.”
“As you command.” She turned her back and trotted away.
Ermendrud watched her walk off. Then he laughed. “Oh! Now I recognize her. I’ve never seen her from the front. Perhaps some pleasure is in order after all.”
~~***~~
The scene jumped to a large empty room with chains on the wall and iron rings on the floor. Servants are putting crates next to the stone wall.
“I don’t see the purpose of these crates against the wall when a simple projectile shield spell will do,” a guard said. “He’s using them to guard the rest of the room.”
“What the duke wants the duke gets,” Agent 9 said, “And he wants crates full of wooden debris. Do you have everything else ready?”
“Yes, all the new circlets are charged and ready. We will be able to force full lucid consciousness, although that green mare will most likely take multiple casters.”
“Hmm, the memory might not stick if that’s the case,” Agent 9 said. “I’ll go talk to—”
“There’s no need.”
They turned and saw Ermendrud.
“He gave us permission to do everything necessary as long as we leave enough witnesses. Set her aside. You did say this pony is a mare, correct?”
“Yes.”
“Excellent, set her aside and bring the rest.”
Ermendrud walked away.
“Well, we know what he’s having for dinner…”
“Not if the young lord gets to her first…”
“Hmmm,” Ermendrud cocked his head. He changed direction towards the original footman now standing with the others. “One of you contact Marquess Blarney for me with this message: I have found a possible guest for dinner for him to inspect. And to remind him if she meets his standards that he promised that myself and my kitchen staff would have the opportunity to watch this time since we haven’t been able to get the taste quite right with just the written instructions alone.”
He stepped forward and bowed, “I will deliver your message at once. Excuse me.”
The pony hurried away.
Duke Poppycock passed the footman in the doorway. He glanced back before continuing into the room.
“You look a little scuffed up?” Ermendrud said.
“Dealing with my stubborn nephew. Have you decided on who to kill yet? Celestia has moved Bocce into her personal dungeon and demanded copies of the evidence. My in-laws and a coroner are waiting upstairs. We can’t finalize any papers without a corpse.”
“Yes, Dagobert! The board.”
A griffon handed him the clipboard.
He flipped through with his claw. “We’ll be killing this one. His delusion is definitely the one giving the other’s hope.”
Duke Poppycock glanced at the clipboard. “Ah, the one that can’t feel pain. I was hoping you’d choose him. Any others?”
“Seems one of your guards went too far again. I hope you won’t mind, considering your country’s laws over brain death?”
“Yes,” he rolled his eyes, “Take your well-earned dinner. Can we get this done quickly?”
“They are your city guards, King Poppycock the First. We are ready, they just need to bring them in.”
“Agent 9!” he called out. “Get them in here! The griffons are ready!”
Ponies were quickly dragged in by chains with bags on their heads. All but one were tied to the left wall. The other was bound to a ring in the floor in front of the boxes. A disheveled, shivering hulk of a unicorn.
“Joe!” Celestia shouted.
“Isn’t that the chef that caters our meetings?!” Prince Eric looked at Olov and Eetu. He turned back. “Oh Jupiter and Odin…” he shook his head. “Please don’t.”
Eetu walked around to stand at Eric’s other side and put his front leg over him.
Ermendrud raised his hand and the bags were removed from the ponies against the wall, and immediately gagged magically as circlets were forced on their heads.
“Not him,” Ermendrud said, pointing at the unicorn at the boxes.
The guard backed away.
“So,” Ermendrud stepped forward with the clipboard. “Donut Joe. Owner of Pony Joe’s Diner. Registered seating capacity, 80 ponies.” He tossed the clipboard behind him. “So, how does such an insignificant peasant end up as the crown prince of Equestria?”
The griffons laughed.
“That’s quite the accent you got there,” Joe said. “You must not be from around here if you don’t know Celestia’s taste in stallions.”
“Yes, the chubby, dirty kind,” he said dismissively. He raised his claw. “Stromknuppel.”
A griffon gave him what looked like a wooden spear wrapped in something black with two small copper prongs on one end and a box at the other. He jabbed him, and lighting coursed through him, sending him to the floor.
“Buck…” he said as he struggled back to his hooves.
Surprised at how fast he was trying to stand, he jabbed him again.
After two more repeats, Ermendrud raised the spear and the griffon took it back.
“Hmmm, you definitely feel pain, but maybe the theory that you don’t feel it as strongly is correct? How sad. Prince of Equestria.”
“Ever heard of a morganatic marriage, dumb ass. You can marry a noble without becoming one.”
Ermendrud jaw dropped slightly before regaining his composure. “Educated little pony. Did you hear that fancy word from one of the guards during your interrogation?”
“No. I keep telling you, I’m her husband and it’s her turn to stay at my house tonight. She’s gonna teleport in and see this and lose her shit.”
“Yes, she bursts into flames when enraged and will accidently set fire to everything and everypony in the vicinity…” he said dismissively. “I read your myriad list of concerns. Take off his hood, but don’t gag him or place a circlet.”
A guard lit his horn and pulled the bag off.
Donut Joe shook his head as his eyes adjusted to the sudden light.
“Do you understand your fate yet?” Ermendrud mocked.
Donut Joe looked up. His jaw dropped and his eyes pin pricked.
Ermendrud laughed. “I see you do!”
“Don-don don’t do this!”
“Why? Scared to face your gods?”
“Dawn barely pulled herself back the first time! If I die, she might not be able to! She’ll go full Nightmare!”
“Oh? So, the truth is known over here? All the pony history books we’ve seen say it was a tiny war and blame all the deaths on a mysterious “Black Death” plague. Even in Trottingham and Prance, where their ancestors survived the Great Sonnenstrum themselves. And even the Hussar horses that tried to take over the burned wastelands in the aftermath claim they saw no such thing but won great victories against the armies of the dead. So yes, we griffons know intimately the fires your benevolent goddess of light, love, and mercy wields. Even if the rest of the planet denies it.”
“Isn’t that proof enough that I’m her husband! Please! It was the murder of Luna’s fiancé that set her off!”
“You know about that?”
“Yes! His name was Linus! He was even part griffon! We don’t have to go to war with Luna back. It was literally yesterday to her that a world existed where an alicorn could marry a griffon and no one cared. It can be again.”
“The empire has already looked into possibly manipulating the returned princess with a lover, but her dream magic was deemed too much of a risk. Even if historically, she had a kink for claws. But now I’m curious, why do you think your wife unleashed the Sonnenstrum?”
“You killed someone she loved, just like you're about to do now.”
“Oh? We were on good diplomatic terms until we were blindsided by a rain of fire. We never hunted on your coast, and had even conquered the flocks that did at your behest generations before.”
“Everypony comes from a family. If they came out of nowhere and were proclaimed avatars of the sun and moon by the magic council, then why didn’t any of the nobles instantly claim them as children? Ultimate power and prestige. Instead, there has always been hostility. That they don’t deserve the throne.” He looked at Duke Poppycock, “They don’t have the blood.”
Donut Joe stood tall and defiantly. “Celestia wouldn’t marry a peasant? Just like Luna wouldn’t fuck a poor peasant bard suddenly adopted into a royal family due to pure skill? Look at that noble’s face. He knows I’m right.”
“I don’t need to,” Ermendrud said confidently. “This was a lovely conversation, but it doesn’t change anything. (Hand me a sturmgewehr! Everyone line up!)”
Ermendrud was handed a metal object while his guards lined up next to him. He examined the object while the others stood at attention like soldiers with a weapon.
“You know that one thing your tribes think is a blessing but is actually your biggest weakness?” He paused. “Your long lives. It’s only been two or three lifetimes for you… but for US , five hundred years is much more impactful. Five hundred years, twenty-five full generations of hawks and hens dedicating their minds for one, single, task. (Ready!)”
The other griffons raised one end to their shoulders and pointed the other at him.
“City guards! I want you all to cast your strongest shield spells in front of your prince! Everyone of you not on a circlet! Layer them thick!”
They looked at each other, and the ones not controlling the circlets cast dozens of shields, turning into a five-foot-thick tangle of wards.
Ermendrud smiled and raised his. “How to kill an Alicorn. (Aim!)”
Luna lit her horn.
Vegeta suddenly found himself alone with a front row seat. He figured it was now the same for everyone else in the room.
“Celestia, for the love of the sun, don’t lose your mind.”
“(Fire!)
“Joe!”
Celestia only got one step in before she slid to a stop.
Everyone in the room screamed, except for him and Luna, who closed her eyes.
Hundreds of flashes and bursts of thunder. The loud cracks of splintering wood flying out as shrapnel.
And the disappearance of the pony, replaced by mush and four hooves orphaned on the floor.
The shields slowly failed one by one, along with the guards’ jaws. A few fell on their butts.
Ermendrud walked over and pushed the one hoof remaining upright over with the killing end of the object everyone now understood as a horrible weapon.
He turned to the wall, “Everypony! If you thought Princess Celestia was coming to your rescue, well, she can’t teleport to that can she?” He shot the broken crates again. “You now have one chance. Sign the witness statements the city guards have kindly prepared for you OR…” He shot a third time. “You end up as fish chum.”
The guards stayed frozen in place.
“What the heck are you doing?!” Duke Poppycock shouted. “Give them the papers. Now!”
The guards began to move.
“Stop their shaking you idiots, we can’t have anything amiss with the signatures. You guards too! You’re not helping…”
Luna let her horn again, and everyone found themselves next to everyone else.
Vegeta was trying hard not to laugh. These nobles and ambassadors, probably nobles themselves now that he thought about it, were handling death as well as Discord handled a simple, ordinary post-battle lunch. Females wanted to faint but couldn’t while the males’ stiff upper lips were all over the floor with their nonexistent stomach contents.
“Why was I cut out of that last part?” Twilight whined. “And that part of the picture is still blacked out.”
“Twillie… you do not want to see that,” Cadence said.
“I can handle a dead body. Stop treating me like a foal.”
“Not this,” Cadence shook her head, “even if you weren’t still bright green from what the doctor said. Just… just imagine what the crystal heart did to Sombra if it didn’t completely evaporate him into nothing.”
She sniffled. “Joe was my friend, too… Let me see.”
“Ask Princess Luna later. Now’s not the time.”
Vegeta let the scene with the nobles play out a little bit before he spoke. “Hey Luna? Is that Blarney the griffon mentioned here? If he is, I say we bring him in and find out what happened to that green unicorn?” He looked at Luna.
She was not paying attention to anything.
“Sister…?”
Celestia was sulking in front of the remains. Strangely, she wasn’t crying.
She tittered.
Then she chuckled.
Then she laughed as her hair lost its color and flames began to ripple across her entire body.
Luna removed the vision and ran over, throwing her legs and wings over her. “It’s ok, sister. It’s ok. You’re allowed to cry. Don’t hold it in. You can be a mare, not a princess. Just like you told me all those years ago.”
Celestia lifted her head and started to make a new sound. It pulsed like laughter, but sounded more like a flock of geese being strangled.
Luna fought against a growing pressure trying to push her back. “Group hug! Group hug!”
Cadence and Twilight rushed over. Even Pixiu and Feiyu came over and joined the hug.
Everyone was sent flying. Feiyu was shredded but quickly pulled himself back together and flew to Pixiu. A flame bubble whipped around her as she threw her head back and her eyes slit and her teeth sharpened.
This time the nobles recognized what was happening.
“She’s becoming a nightmare!” Everyone stampeded to the nearest door, only to find a white wall behind it.
“Good! Now all of Equestria can live through what we did 500 years ago!” Ermendrud shouted.
Vegeta lunged forward, pulled back and punched Celestia squarely in the jaw. She flew into a pillar, causing it to collapse.
“Get over yourself!” Vegeta shouted, keeping his fist raised.
He did not notice the black mist around his feet.
“It’s my job to lose my gods damn shit! Not yours!”
The mist solidified in front of him, reared back like a cobra and shot at Celestia. It passed through her chest before turning back and piercing Vegeta through the heart before dissipating.
Celestia turned completely back to normal.
“Celestia!” The alicorns ran over to her, but Luna suddenly slid to a stop.
“Vegeta…” she slowly turned her head.
Vegeta was hunched over, his fingers digging deep into his arms as he groaned.
Then he threw his head back and transformed screaming.
His golden aura filled the room as lightning crackled through the air.
Celestia shook her head. “Where am I?” she began to lift in the air, “Wait! What’s happening?!”
Tiles, furniture, and ponies began to float in the air.
The vision of the dungeon returned with Joe’s remains in front of him. Then wind and dirt began whipping through the air as the image began to pulse in and out with an overlay of a bipedal’s corpse.
Vegeta grabbed his head and the image completely switched as the memory played out.
The tornado.
The hand.
The beam.
The purple haired corpse.
The green black-spotted being emerging from the dust.
Vegeta and his illusion copy merged as he stared at the corpse. He began to cry and two screams emerged from the same throat. He spun around. “That’s my son!”
“Vegeta! You’re hallucinating!” Luna shouted.
The image leaped forward while Vegeta stumbled backwards. “I know that!”
Vegeta hunched over as the memory vanished, “I don’t know who you are or why you keep whispering in my ear, but my name is not Celestia.” He reared back. “I’m the mother fucking Prince of All Saiyans!” Tears poured down his face. “Learn your place!”
Suddenly a dozen glowing silhouettes of various sizes and shapes encircled him, but all bipedal. One appeared to be a felis, as round as it was tall. Then some more appeared. One was clearly Discord, then an alicorn, then an earth pony, then a pegasus, and finally a second felis missing a leg and arm.”
“Alone, am I? My crown is a prison cell and no one else can see me suffer past their jealousy of the shiny wall of gold? Fuck you!”
They all suddenly lifted an arm or front limb in front of them. Vegeta did the same. The darkness gathered in a wiggling ball that got smaller and smaller.
The ball began to squirm violently as it shrank.
Vegeta smirked as he continued to cry. “Not so tough when you have a dozen friends to share the weight.”
The darkness suddenly turned lavender as it turned into a whisp, then darted into Vegeta’s chest again.
Vegeta fell on his knees as the transformation ended and everyone dropped to the ground. Then he tilted his head back and vomited a burst of blackness like blood. Golden tendrils curled and blossomed like ethereal flowers from his mouth as the darkness vanished like circles in water. Then the glittering light flew into Celestia.
Celestia froze. Then she tilted her head back and bawled. Two cartoony rivers came from her eyes and soaked the floor, but no sign of any physical changes.
Pixiu caught Vegeta as he tumbled over.
“You did good, my new friend,” he said.
Vegeta shakily gave a thumbs up. “Whatever just happened… it still really hurts.” He said as the tears continued.
“Did he just?” Countess Paladine asked.
“That was not simply layering,” Marquess Metis said shocked. “That was something else. Something ghostly.”
Ermendrud stumbled backwards. “Did… did you just absorb the nightmare?! AND YOU’RE FINE?!”
“You just cast friendship magic!” Twilight shouted. She ran over to him. “How?! What?! How did you do that?! What was that spell?! How did you cure the nightmare?!” she shouted directly next to his head.
Pixiu glared at her, “Silence. Can’t you see he’s in pain?”
Twilight gasped and put her hoof over her mouth. “Sorry…”
Lady Pumpernickel came forward through the chaotic pile of calming ponies at the far doors and slowly walked across the empty room.
She stopped in front of Vegeta. She suddenly bowed. “Thank you for saving Princess Celestia, Prince Vegeta of Saiyans. Whatever evils you committed in the past to become a dark mage, you have clearly found a way to use it to return the light you stole back into the world.”
She then turned, “And YOU!” She stomped over to Ermendrud. “How DARE you harm Princess Celestia in order to get her to harm Equestria!” She then turned to the horse, “And you! You did the same to Princess Luna all those years ago! But no one was there to save her!”
She then marched up to the still frozen Duke Poppycock. “Dearest Princess Luna, I humbly request you release this fiend so he may feel my slap to his face!”
Luna stood from comforting Celestia. “My apologies, Marchioness Pumpernickel, but I cannot allow violence of the sort in my dreamscape. But,” she looked around at the growing angry faces, “what all ye do once we wake ye up tis up to ye. Words will have to surface for now. But do leave enough for the guards to arrest for treason, our little ponies.”
“Before you do. I would like to make a statement,” Lord Fire Whirl pushed his way out of the crush.
He walked up to Vegeta. “Prince, that technique. Is that the same visualization you tried to describe before with your actions with Princess Luna and Lady Pinkie Pie?”
Vegeta wiped his eyes. “Yeah…” he said, still shivering.
Lord Fire Whirl nodded and turned to the crowd. “I would like to rescind my statement earlier. What I just saw was very similar to the elementary techniques taught in the Crystal Empire as a foundation for the newly returned lost art of golem magic. Techniques I completely failed to comprehend.” He looked back at Vegeta, “At least until now. That was more akin to the delicate unfolding of a lifted image get well card than any layering seen in miscast mind spells.”
“A more apt word would be origami,” Kuoma said, “Not that you would know that.”
“Then thou stand in support of Vegeta?” Luna asked.
“Yes,” he nodded. “That black magic was most definitely real, as was its purification. I believe his claims of self harm and complete disregard for his own wellbeing. His nurses are probably busy right now.”
“Th-thanks for the endorsement,” Vegeta said in a pitiful attempt at sarcasm.
“Are there any other statements that wish to be made? In either defense or in opposition?”
Marchioness Pumpernickel glared at everyone, moving her eyes from one pony to the next.
Everyone shook their heads.
“Very well.” Luna lit her horn.
Poppycock only got a few sounds out before shouting and jumping back suddenly finding an enraged mare nose to nose at him.
Blarney saw the completely destroyed room. “What happened here?”
“Luna froze time for you and your minions, fiends, so we could watch the memory uninterrupted!” Marchioness Pumpernickel shouted. “You’re evil! Torturing and brainwashing ponies, then handing them over to be eaten by the griffons?! Where is that poor green mare?! Tell us!”
“We’re evil?!” Blarney shouted. He pointed at Vegeta, “We got the alicorn of evil right there!”
“That stallion rescued Princess Celestia by absorbing her nightmare when she went mad from watching that pony die! I don’t agree with mixing blood, but that lowly chef showed more worth than the rest of you snakes combined!”
“Yes! It’s nobles like you who clearly forced the princess to find comfort in the dirt!”
Poppycock kept his calm façade. “You’re being blind! He did not purify Princess Celestia, he absorbed her powers for himself!”
“Yes!” one of the supporting nobles said, getting his nerves up. “We all know Princess Luna’s emotions towards that demon since he came here. This is all an elaborate plot. And now he’s stolen Princess Celestia’s powers! This is only proof of her treachery! She’s teamed up with the Far Eastern nations for a coup, just like she tried a thousand years ago!”
“WHAT did you just accuse me of?”
Everyone looked as Vegeta pushed himself to his feet. He was panting and visibly in pain.
“Did you just accuse me of cheating on my wife ? Or does the fact I also found comfort in the dirt mean I will automatically toss her aside when confronted with a woman of purer blood? Fuck all of you!”
Vegeta pointed his finger, “I’ve heard enough about you. Forced magical sterility so a noble can rape the dirt in their employ without consequences. Noble daughters poisoned against their will to end any issues before they become visible? But those are all only recent developments. How many more matching stillborn and live birth certificates are we going to find in the archives? Noble blood is all that matters, is it? Do you even know how babies are made? It takes a piece of the mother and father to fuse together in the womb to form a child. And that piece can be traced through your precious blood! Only five generations since Celestia took the throne? Two or three since the war with the griffons? Earth blood tests can go back ten! There are easily dozens of so-called peasants that can switch places with you in an instant! You think you’re special? You think your spoiled bratty lives are safe? YOU ARE NOT!”
Vegeta tilted his head, “Isn’t that right, Poppycock.” He raised his middle finger joining his index and rotated his hand.
Two rings of light clamped down on his and Blaney’s muzzles. They began to struggle.
“You see! Yellow magic!” another of his nobles shouted, only to find himself also gagged.
“It’s called ki,” Pixiu walked next to Vegeta with his arm raised. He nodded to Vegeta.
Vegeta continued, “Do not interrupt me. Now are his engagement to Sea Swirl and the premature but successful pregnancy despite your best efforts the only reason you went after Bocce? Was Kingpin and his sister your siblings or cousins? Some of the wealthiest bastards in the country were abandoned nobles, and now a nouveau riche had somehow found an in with the nobility? Did you have the griffons try and kill him because Blarney wanted Sea Swirl, or was it because he’s the obvious choice to replace you if your coup failed. Las Pegasus is burning and most of Millionaire Row is dead after a poisoned banquet THE SAME DAY Pinkie Pie shoved Bocce out of the way of a bullet? Wrapping up loose ends before you launched the coup, are you?”
Vegeta could tell by the wide-eyed look Blarney had at his uncle that he had no idea. Then it turned to rage. Vegeta released his mouth, but not Poppycock’s.
“They were cast outs the whole time?! We had the perfect slaves the whole time and you did nothing?!” Then he raised his voice, “Wait! That means you knew about the relationship the whole time?! Or were you not doing your job and fucking following him properly?!”
Poppycock swung at him but Blarney backed away and the light binding his mouth spread to his body. Poppycock fell over.
“Fifteen minutes with the guards and we could have had him beat her half to death, brag about hiding aborting meds in her food after she miscarried, or wait patiently and have him kill the baby in front of her! I could have been the savior galloping in to rescue her and she would be all over me right now and that fucking upstart would be found dead in his cell after I had my fun!”
Vegeta bound Blarney again.
“I believe that’s called a confession.” He looked at Luna, “Hey Luna? Wanna pick his brain about his definition of fun? We still don’t know what happened to that green pony.”
Luna was wincing in pain as her horn burned a bright white.
“Luna what’s wrong?” Vegeta demanded as her whole body began to glow white.
“Something is trying to force its way in from the outside!”
“Is it the same beast you fought the other night?!” the mare from that night shouted.
Luna's eyes widened. “Yes! Yes it is!”
Luna lowered her spell back to a normal level and a rip suddenly appeared.
Everyone pressed themselves even farther back against the walls as the tear opened.
And a small screaming bipedal ran out. It tripped and sat there bawling. “I want my mommy and daddy! I want my mommy! I want my daddy!”
Suddenly two huge bone claws tore the small tear up to the ceiling and a flaming griffon skull the size of the throne room came through screeching. The sounds of gunfire could clearly be heard on the other side of the portal.
Luna jumped in the air and with a single blast pushed the skeleton back through and sealed the rift.
The panicking ponies turned their attention back to the small creature.
It was so small; it wouldn’t even reach three feet on its rear legs. It was dressed in a white, fuzzy cloth onesie with a zipper in the front with a hood. The hood had a stuffed horn sewn on it and strips of blue fabric mimicked a mane and tail.
“Bulla!” Vegeta ran and scooped her up. “It’s ok, sweetie. Look. Daddy’s here. It’s Daddy.”
Bulla paused looking at him.
“Daddy!” she threw her little arms around his neck. She continued to cry and scream.
Vegeta pulled back her hood and wove his fingers through her blue hair. “It’s ok. It was just a nightmare. Look, Luna chased the skeleton away. It’s ok now.”
Luna landed next to them. She poked her head in over his shoulder.
“Yes, little Bulla. The monsters are gone.” Luna spoke slowly, “You are safe. You are with Daddy, me, and friends.”
Pixiu walked over. “Hello, little Bulla. I am Monk Pixiu. It’s nice to meet you.”
Bulla turned her head to look. Then lifted her head. Her crying and whimpering calmed down slightly.
Pixiu chuckled seeing her face. “Yes. I’m a giant panda. We are just as sacred to your people as you are to us.”
Bulla stared at him for a short time as she sobbed. Then she raised her arms. “Panda?” she said softly.
Vegeta and Pixiu looked at each other, and Vegeta handed her off.
Bulla easily fit in his large paw and he lifted her up to his broad shoulder. “It’s ok, little cub. It’s ok.”
“How did a monster like him end up with such a cute cub?” a griffon muttered.
“Sh-Shhhut up!” Ermendrud shouted looking back and forth between the two.
Bulla turned and saw the griffons.
Bulla screamed at the top of her lungs.
Luna immediately grimaced and lit her horn.
“What’s wrong?! Is the child steeped in dark magic as well?!” one of Poppycock’s nobles shouted.
“No,” Luna said loudly. “She is steeped in dream magic and her fear is warping the dreamplane slightly. No one is in any mental danger.”
“You mean like how her father imprisoned you for hours and burnt you in real life?!”
Bulla pushed herself out of Pixiu’s arms and hid behind her father’s legs, hugging one tightly. She peeked around it and glared at Ermendrud, the closest griffon, with her red face. “You hurt Pinkie Pie! You’re a dead duck!”
Vegeta hunched over gripping his chest as Luna’s body glowed bright white.
Ermendrud erupted in a burst of feathers and fur and a cooked duck with white paper poultry booties on the end of the drum sticks dropped to the ground.
Vegeta reached out his hand and shouted “Luna, help me!”
Ermendrud squealed a squawk of surprise as he turned back. Except he was pink-skinned naked with a duck bill and webbed front feet.
At the same moment Vegeta shouted, Luna’s white glow turned into flames.
Luna gasped looking at her back and flank. “We’re on fire!” She began rolling on the ground. “Put us out! Put us out!”
Gallons of water plunged on her as Celestia, Cadence and Twilight lit their horns.
Vegeta and Pixiu threw off their jacket and outer robe and rushed to stamp her out.
Bulla stumbled backwards and started to scream again.
This time the whole room shook in a strong earthquake as stones fell and the stained-glass windows shattered one after the other. Part of the wall and ceiling collapsed revealing the white void beyond quickly darkening and a deep rumble in the distance getting closer.
“Stop panicking! None of this is real!” Irmhild and Poppycock shouted at almost the same time to their followers.
Vegeta made it to his feet and raised his arm. A doorway began to form behind Bulla. He rushed up and grabbed her in one fluid motion, tucked her close, then crashed through the still materializing archway.
A brilliant white light consumed everything.
~~***~~
Everyone woke up.
And the statement none of this was real instantly evaporated.
Celestia was in the center of what looked like a large blast zone and unicorns were still desperately casting water spells to put out the still burning carpets, woodwork and drapes. Celestia was unharmed, but as Luna pulled herself out of the debris of the former dais, she was covered in a patchwork of burns matching the white flames she suffered.
Then the real screaming started.
Ermendrud was unconscious on the ground in a sea of fur and feathers, burned over every inch of his body. His tail charred black and snapped off two-thirds of the way up. Then there was his prominent duckbill and what clearly would have been webbed feet in place of his talons.
“You said we’d be safe!” a pony screamed, “We never were! You put us at the mercy of the dark mage!”
Poppycock looked around calmly at the panic, then shouted. “Congratulations on your 1500-year coup, alien! You tricked the eastern races to become gods, got them to give you magic to become alicorns because any alicorn automatically becomes ruler of Equestria for life no matter the race before or after the transformation! But Equus herself has rejected you! You’re as Black as the Sin you wield from your false horn and no good being is going to stand for it! We will drive you and your minions off this planet and back through the mirror where you belong!”
He pulled loose his white bowtie, pulled a jeweled pendant from under his shirt and threw it on the ground causing a blinding flash.
He and Blarney were gone.
Celestia stood. “GUARDS!” her Canterlot voice boomed. “SEAL THIS ROOM! WE NEED TO SORT EVERYPONY ONE BY ONE FOR ARRESTS! AND GET THAT GRIFFON TO MEDICAL NOW!”
She spread her wings and leaped in the air over the panicking and blindly running in circles. She landed where the two had been standing. She lit her horn and touched it to the ground. Then she raised her head and teleported away.
~~***~~
She found herself in a black cave full of a low mist.
She cast a spell, but nothing happened. She found she could manipulate it with a wind spell, but dissipating it was not working. She then noticed she was starting to feel funny. A huge wind spell blew away the fog but the odd sensation quickly came back.
Then Poppycock walked into view in front of her. He had a medical air mask on his muzzle and a bottle with him confirming there was something in the air.
“Stop!” She reared back and blasted a large magical beam at him.
The image shattered and the beam continued on until it hit a crystal wall and bounced back. She ducked and heard glass shatter behind her. She lifted her head and walked over. Multiples of her reflection began to appear around her.
“Mirrors…”
She heard laughter.
“Oh! The mighty alicorn princess fooled by simple glass.”
“You can’t hide forever, fiend. You can’t teleport back through the crystals!”
His image appeared behind her in the reflections. “If it’s so simple, come and find me.”
Celestia charged a beam and blasted everything as she spun in a circle. Then she raised a full body shield as the beam ricocheted in a thousand directions.
Eventually it fizzled out.
“How does it feel that your simple trick was so easily thwarted?” she said smugly. She lit her horn and saw a huge field of broken glass.
“Did you create a maze to spin me in circles chasing you? You wasted quite a bit of time in the crystal caverns. I see leaving the lower entrances to the city guards was a mistake, but we must be close to an exit if this was your idea of an escape route.”
“True, but you’re not going to find it fast enough. How’s your head? Feeling a little light headed?”
Celestia cast a wind spell that circled her head.
“Whatever poison you put in here will not affect me.”
Suddenly she started to cough. She felt worse.
He laughed. “I wouldn’t do that. Your magic is only adding more poison to the air itself.”
She stopped the spell, and began to feel better.
“What the Tartarus is this?!”
“Oh, cursing is such beneath your highness. You want to know a little secret the griffons taught me? Air is not one of the four elements, but is a mix of several parts they call gasses. There’s life gas, lifeless gas, and empty gas — life gas that has been stripped of its life essence by things like fire— or say, breathing, for example. And empty gas can be frozen into huge blocks of ice. Dry ice they call it, because it does not melt. It just develops a thin coating of fog before turning directly into a gas. The griffons have been testing this for a long time. Seems unicorn wind and air spells simply recreate the mixture of gasses the pony last breathed. So say, there’s more empty gas than normal, it will just recreate it. And as you said, we’ve been wasting a lot of time here.”
Suddenly she heard the deep metallic echo of a metal chain turning on a wrench lifting something heavy.
She looked around, and saw a giant wall of fog racing towards her.
Blarney’s voice then filled the cavern. “Enjoy suffocating while still having air in your lungs! HaHaHaAHAHAHHH!”
Celestia cast a wind wall spell around her. While it stopped the fog getting close as it enveloped the area, she kept getting dizzier and dizzier. She tried imagining green meadows and clear blue skies and putting that imagery into the spell, but the burning in her lungs was telling her it wasn’t working.
Celestia tried everything she could think of to alter the spell in some way, but everything failed. She fell to her knees. Her head wobbled and she wanted to sleep. She thought about Luna crying at her death. Then she did hear Luna crying.
She thought she saw a white feather drop down and disappear in a flash.
Celestia saw images of Luna as a filly crying in her timeout corner, her curly blue hair still showing. She saw herself with her long pink hair in a ponytail sneak in.
“Hey, Lulu.”
Luna turned around, “Tia?” she sniffled.
“Master Starswirl said you lost the lab mice? But they love you. What did you do to scare them away?”
“I don’t know! Master Starswirl called it cursed atomics and smashed my alchemy set and now I can’t do alchemy anymore!” she sobbed. “But it wasn’t cursed from what I could tell. It smelled really nice so I caught the air in a water jar then gave it to the mice. And they were all happy and playing and running around. Then they curled up and fell asleep. So I took them out of the glass box to put them back in the cage. But they woke up and started to squirm so I put them down to ask what was wrong but they ran away without telling me!”
Celestia forced herself to her feet as hallucination Celestia put her front hoof around Luna. “It will be ok. How about once your punishment is over, you show me how you made this ‘happy air’ and we’ll figure it out together? Ok?”
Celestia lit her horn and a massive pile of white powder appeared in front of her. She hit it with a massive heat beam. The air was sweltering and shimmering inside the windshield as the glowing mass grew through the pile and the center hollowed out into melting slag.
“Well, first I burned this,” she heard filly Luna say in her mind. “Then I burned what that made again. And did that a few times, then it made some white stuff that didn’t burn. But it melted and made that nice smell so I made a biiiiigity big big bigpile of it and burned it to give to the mice.”
“You hated atomics so much Starswirl that you punished Luna. If her happy air made the mice jump around then fall asleep, then she clearly made life air. YOU KNEW THIS STUFF EXISTED THE WHOLE TIME! AND NOW IT’S BEING USED TO KILL ME AND MY LITTLE PONIES! YOU PRIDEFUL ASSHOLE! I’LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!”
~~***~~
Princess Cadence had taken charge and ordered the guards and staff around from a side room. Luna was sleeping on the floor. Twilight was hopelessly lost in a panic attack sitting in a giant, and ever-increasing pile of paper bags.
“All the nobles have been separated and all of House of Gleanings’ supporters have been detained,” one said. “The giant panda has jumped out a window and has flown away riding a cloud.”
“The city guards have encircled the castle, but are staying outside the barrier. They are waiting for us to make the first move,” the other reported. “There was a brief skirmish, but the panda escaped without being pursued. They must deem him unimportant.”
Suddenly Luna woke up and shook her head.
“Did you finally find them?” Cadence asked.
“Yes. Vegeta’s premature exit tore a hole into the Somnian Sea itself instead of any particular dreaming mind. They are rescued and back in their proper bodies…”
“But?”
“Vegeta’s emotions to shield his daughter from the Somnian sea’s lethean effects hast flooded it with dark magic. Even if we slept a week, we could not clear it. Oh! All the world will be awashed with nightmares for the next two months! Maybe only one if we do naught else!”
“I see…” Cadence nodded. “Has anyone heard from Celestia? It’s been almost 50 —”
Celestia suddenly teleported in, gave a loud gasp for air, then collapsed. “Seal the crystal…” she said, still gulping in air. “caves… Poison trap… Magic… doesn’t work… the griffons…” Celestia stopped talking and focused on breathing.
All the guards saluted, shouted, “Yes! Princess Celestia!” then comically crushed and climbed over themselves getting out of the door.
Luna teleported in front of Celestia and lowered her head. “Sister, what were you poisoned with?” she lit her horn. “We—”
Celestia wrapped her front legs around her neck and pulled her down. Luna turned off her horn and just hugged her crying sister. Celestia began to pat her head like she did when she was a filly.
“My silly little pyromaniac filly… You saved my life…”
“What?!” Twilight shouted.
Luna smiled awkwardly. “Teeeee-ah , what’s this about?”
Suddenly Celestia raised her hoof, “Wait, that’s it! I’ll remove Starswirl’s name from the library!”
Twilight squealed a gasp then started blowing into the bag again. She popped out the bottom and created a new one, growing the pile further.
“Ummm, before you accidently kill poor Twillie, I think a briefing and a turning over of leadership is in order. As Vegeta always points out, I am now a foreign empress before a princess of Equestria.”
“We see ambition in thy eyes, Cadence,” Luna narrowed her eyes. “That is rarely a good thing.”
She smiled. “The thought has only just occurred to me that the crystal ponies may be more comfortable ruled by an empress instead of a princess. I will talk to Shining once this is over and maybe put it up to a vote with the crystal ponies.” She turned serious and looked down on the papers, “Now to the briefing, currently—”
“Princess Cad— Oh,” Captain Stone Wall ran into the room. “Princess Celestia, I did not know you returned. The city guards are projecting a recording into the clouds they made! It looks like a recording of what occurred in the dreamwalk!”
“What?!” Celestia and Luna shouted.
“Didn’t you cast the spell to disrupt recording after the fact?!” Celestia shouted.
“Yes!” Luna shouted back. “The only way it could be done is if it was recorded as it happened.”
“No mind stone slipped through our searches,” Captain Stone Wall said vehemently. “We strip searched everyone. The nobles bitched to hell but all the ambassadors and the aides they were allowed complied without issue.”
Twilight stopped huffing for a moment. “Then what did the pony do?! Imbed it in their skulls?!”
“That spying technique is a very old trick we would not miss. The stone would have to be over two feet inside flesh to avoid the scans.”
“Ponies really do that?!” Twilight said horrified. She then threw up in her paper bag.
~~***~~
Across Canterlot, Poppycock is undergoing surgery under local anesthetic.
A solid gold wire was removed from a magical box connected to a long string as his entire scalp was pulled back and a gold lattice medallion was peeled off the top of his skull. The long golden wire was then snaked back through his mouth and emerged from under his jaw muscle through the temple arch and the lattice was removed completely.
“This surgery can’t be repeated easily,” the surgeon said.
“Well, that’s why you’re the best damn plastic surgeon in Equestria.” Blarney said threateningly as nurses injected his skull.
“As long as we don’t get caught with these in our heads, that’s fine,” Poppycock said.
Blarney then pulled a string out from under his tongue and pulled. He vomited out an identical box with a golden wire. An aide opened it and took the crystal out. He handed it off then detached the wire.
~~***~~
“How ever it was done,” Celestia stood. “We need to stop it.”
She collapsed after one step.
Luna grabbed her and lowered her down. “Sister, the poison.”
“The enemy is operating on the assumption I’m dead. My ponies need to see me.”
“Not like this you don’t,” Cadence came over. “You’re a huge target like this.”
“And after thou impersonated us before the nobles, they will claim thou to be just another pony, and thou have no strength to prove otherwise.”
“Buck it all!” Celestia cursed. “Luna, knock everyone in Canterlot out. This isn’t the time to worry about injuries and deaths.”
“Sister, Vegeta polluted the sea with his dark magic. Everybeing currently asleep has emerged into horrid nightmares and the whole planet will be suffering for at least two months.”
“The medicine worse than the disease?”
“Yes, we believe so. We must calm everyone over Vegeta, and thrusting the common ponies into a nightmare immediately after whatever edited lie is being shown, they will dream of him. We will never convince them it was not an attack.”
“Ugh… and let me guess… the city guards have the palace surrounded? Oh no. Rainbow Dash! Twilight! Stop her before she starts a war!”
Twilight gasped again then teleported.
Suddenly an instascroll popped in front of Cadence’s face. The shimmering paper meant it was from the empire.
Before she could read it, Twilight reappeared and crashed through the wooden table screaming. She teleported again leaving a dizzy Rainbow Dash in the middle of papers and broken wood. Twilight soon returned with an angry Applejack who already had her hat in her hoof.
“What the hay was that for?!” Applejack shouted, holding her hat in the air.
Twilight teleported again, and quickly returned. “Fluttershy and Rarity are in medical with—”
“What the hay is wrong with you, Twilight?!” Applejack shouted again.
Rainbow Dash shook the stars from her eyes. “Yeah, Twilight! What’s wrong with you?!”
“Look behind thee,” Luna ordered.
They turned and saw Celestia on the ground looking very unwell.
“Princess Celestia!” the both shouted.
“What happened?!” Applejack asked the same time Dash asked “Are you ok?!”
“We art in the middle of a coup and civil war and ye were antagonizing the besieging army, weren’t ye?”
“Civil…” “…War?”
While Luna and Celestia chastised them for their rashness and quick tempers, Cadence took the time to unroll the scroll.
“No…” Celestia said, still breathing heavily. “You will do nothing… They are being supported by the griffons with weapons and poisons magic has no defense…”
Rainbow Dash’s ears fell.
“Ya’ll mean Pinkie Pie?” Applejack said, putting her hat back on.
A knock came at the door.
Captain Stone Wall walked over and partially opened it. “What’s your report?”
“Marchioness Pumpernickel has rallied the sympathetic nobles. They would like access to instascrolls to order their private guards to attack the city guards at the princesses’ demand.”
“Good mare,” Celestia said.
“Has Vegeta mentioned a ‘Son Goku’?” Cadence asked.
“Yes,” Celestia and Luna said together.
“He’s here.”
“Really?!” Luna asked excitedly.
“That’s wonderful news,” Celestia smiled. “Tell Shining Armor to get him to Canterlot immediately.”
“He’s already on his way,” she looked at the scroll. “He summoned a herd of yellow cloud creatures, asked them if they knew where Vegeta was, and flew off with them.”
“Feiyu’s kind,” Celestia said. “Too bad they already left to defend the embassies.”
“Want me to teleport?” Twilight asked.
“No Twilight.” She looked at Captain Stone Wall, “Gather all the loyal nobles in the destroyed throne room. I will be making an appearance.”
“Sister, you can’t even stand.”
“Do ya want all them to see you like this?” Applejack asked.
“They need to see me like this,” she said firmly.
~~***~~
The nobles were all gathered under heavy guard.
The dais side doors opened. Celestia stumbled out, one hoof over Luna’s shoulder, and Applejack under her for support.
Applejack paused seeing the destroyed throne room, almost causing them to trip, but she picked up the pace.
There were a few faint gasps, but mostly silent shock as Celestia was carried in front of them.
“Oh my Cele— Princess Celestia, did Poppycock do this to you?” a stallion asked.
Celestia raised her head. “I teleported right into a poisoned trap. I only now just escaped and teleported back to the palace.”
The nobles glanced at each other.
“My dear little ponies, Poppycock and his allies somehow snuck a memory stone into the palace and are now broadcasting an altered version of the dreamwalk on the clouds prepared by the pegasi guards above the city.”
Celestia paused to let that sink in. “There is no doubt they are doing this to panic the populace and gain fodder for the upcoming fight. There is also a good chance they are being told I am dead and my sister is being controlled or is a co-conspirator with Prince Vegeta. Your own guards are watching this as well.”
She shakily raised a hoof to silence them. “You will all be given your scrolls. Although it will tip our hand, tell them I have survived the poison Poppycock threw in my face to breathe in and to ready themselves to fight. We also just received a scroll from Prince Shining Armor. A flawed teleportation attempt landed Vegeta’s allies in the empire and they are flying here to Canterlot as we speak being guided by members of Feiyu’s race. Everyone will stay back until Son Goku has arrived. Once he is here, we will go on the attack. While I have no doubt the city will be in chaos, the city guards are staying beyond the walls and barriers for now, and even allowed Pixiu and Feiyu to pass through with little interference. They did not run, but are rallying their embassies’ guards and staff. Hopefully the traitors stay that way. While it pains me to think of the ruin that will befall our dear capital in the meantime, we need to buy time for all of our reinforcements to arrive. Then we strike.”
“Is this Son Goku so important that we must wait to strike while our properties burn down?” another stallion asked.
“Prince Vegeta has described him as the greatest ki warrior he’s ever known, many times stronger and more talented than him. An undefeatable juggernaut on the battlefield, a great leader of beings, his only weaknesses are his overly abundant kindness and good-natured silliness reminiscent of Lady Pinkie Pie. But I find a rival to bear the element of laughter no weakness at all. We are waiting, because ki can defeat the griffons’ foul weapons and heal the wounds they cause.”
Celestia smiled. “You have all believed in Prince Vegeta, my little ponies, and I thank you. Now I ask you to believe in the one he believes in.”
“That’s all I need to hear,” Marchioness Pumpernickel said loudly, “Hand me the scroll.”
The others concurred and demanded scrolls as well.
“Thank you, my ponies…”
Chapter 31: Adventures in Teleportation
Saga Two: Cannonball Run to Canterlot
Chapter 31: Adventures in Teleportation
Two days ago…
Goku teleported to the Supreme Kai’s planet with Baba.
Everyone was still watching their own crystal ball, focused on the system and nearby stars.
“Hey! We figured out what’s going on!” Goku ran over.
Elder Kai spotted Baba. “You know I could have used my own ball if you just gave me the information.”
“This will be quicker, Elder Kai,” Baba said. “The stupidity of this event would be hard for you to focus on…”
“I have witnessed hundreds of millions of years of stupidity. Mortals cannot surprise me anymore.”
“Even him?” Supreme Kai pointed at Goku.
Elder Kai looked at Baba. “This isn’t Goku’s fault, is it?”
“No… It’s Vegeta’s.”
“How is Vegeta involved with this rogue system?” the Supreme Kai asked.
Baba hopped off. “Just watch…”
15 minutes later…
“Why didn’t he just wish her back?” South Kai facepalmed.
“Vegeta’s always been a man of action,” Elder Kai said. “Rushing to her location would be first in his mind instead of any semblance logic.”
“At least he is with kind individuals,” King Kai said, watching Vegeta being cared for. “The pink one seems especially friendly and energetic.”
“Trunks said they are some of the main characters in the story. So, they are in a town called Ponyville,” Goku said.
“And Bulla?”
“She was with a zebra,” Baba said while waving her hands.
The image shifted and showed Bulla running wildly around town with no adult in sight.
“Bulla, you are so lucky your mother isn’t watching right now…” Goku sighed.
“At least she seems safe and care free right now,” King Kai said.
Baba switched the image.
There was a visibly pissed off zebra walking with a pony wearing a cowboy hat. They were crossing a bridge into town.
“That must be Applejack,” Goku said. “I… can’t remember the others…”
“Of course, you only remember the one related to food,” Baba said. “The ones with Vegeta are Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie. Who’s who should be obvious.” She waved her hands and showed a building decorated like a carousel. The scene shifted inside and showed a pony at a sewing machine.
“This one is Rarity. She’s Bulla’s favorite and will be her destination.” She waved her hand again to show two purple beings surrounded by stacks of books. “This is Princess Twilight Sparkle. She’s a librarian. That is her assistant, a young dragon named Spike. As you can see, he’s a person as well.”
“King Kai, can you help me find this place like you did with New Namek?”
“Yeah, sure Goku.” He led Goku off to the side. “Now remember, these are people with fully formed memories. Do not tell them they didn’t exist a couple days ago. This was a teleport spell gone wrong…”
“Seems these colorful creatures come in several combinations,” the Supreme Kai said, “And then there are the tattoos. Wait…” he looked back at the other ball. “That star should not be that bright, even at such a close distance.”
“I brightened it. Trunks did say the colors are duller and washed out compared to the show.”
“This is dull?” the West Kai pointed in surprise.
“Well, even the dragon balls are limited by reality…” Elder Kai said. “Wait, we need to contact the overseers of the mortal soul planes at once! Where did Shen Long get all the souls from? There’s over a billion of them!”
King Kai came back over. “Well, Goku’s on the planet. Best I could do is get him on the same continent.”
“North Kai! We need you to contact your Lords of Death at once! Start with King Yema. We need to find out where the dragon stole over a billion souls from.”
“Yes!” he ran off.
He pointed at the directional kais. “You three do the same.”
“Yes!”
“I will double check the Hall of Heroes,” the Grand Kai said, standing.
~~***~~
Goku found himself in a dark blizzard. The violent winds almost threw him off his feet and the snow stung battering his skin.
“OH, FUCKING KAIS IT’S COLD!”
Goku put a dome shield around him.
“Ah,” he sighed as the wind and snow stopped hitting him. “But still cold!” He began rubbing his arms and jumping around. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…” He stopped jumping around and put his two fingers to his forehead.
Then he started jumping again. “Nope! Too cold! I gotta get out of here first.”
He jumped in the air and took off.
~~***~~
Goku flew up to break above the clouds. But it didn’t happen.
“How far up does this go?” Goku said to himself, picking up speed.
He finally broke up into the daylight. “Huh…” he looked up at the sky. “It’s supposed to be daytime. Maybe this place has two suns and that’s just the tiny one? Lots of movies have that.” Goku scratched his head, “But I didn’t see a second star in the balls.” He looked back down at the clouds…
— And saw they were chasing him.
He heard a massive screech like a horse’s scream had an unholy offspring with nails on a chalkboard, and three blue beams shot at him. Goku dodged and saw they were millions of shards of ice as sharp as razors.
One of the blasts hit his shield and the first impacts turned into steam before it began to instantly ice over. Goku dropped his shield and the half ball of ice plummeted down.
“I’ll be blind if I keep this up.” The wind hit him again and he shivered. “Cold…” Goku put his hands up. “I come in peace! We don’t have to fight!”
Another blast of ice came from the clouds, but Goku saw that it would miss by a large margin. Goku immediately jumped back as a huge tornado of wind came from behind right where he was and impacted the beam.
Goku looked behind him and saw what was attacking him for the first time. They looked like ghostly ice horses glowing softly in the dim light.
They’d be pretty if they weren’t trying to kill him.
He saw more plumes of clouds rising up above the storm like smoke trailing a stunt plane.
More blasts of wind and ice attacked him as he skillfully darted around. Fog began to form blocking his vision, and he felt ice on the hairs of his arms. It was cold before, but he could feel the temperature dropping hard and fast, numbing his body. He covered himself with ki to try and stay warm, but any heat was instantly sucked away like it was not ever there.
“Ok, it’s official. These guys are the storm and they are trying to kill me,” Goku said, crossing his arms. He screamed as he let out a giant ki blast to clear the area around him. He heard sounds full of pain as the clouds and fog vanished around him, putting him back in clear skies. The horse ghosts retreated to the edge of their mist and turned back to look at him.
“Sorry guys,” Goku put his hands together. “No hard feelings… Ka-me-ha-me-ha!”
He let the beam loose and arced it through the crowd in front of him. There were brief screams then nothing. Goku stopped and looked at the giant hole in the herd. “Oops. Dang they’re weak… I wasn’t trying to kill them…”
Suddenly the clouds below erupted with thundersnow and the entire cloud top began to rise at once. Goku found himself in the eye of the storm, ringed by thousands of glowing ghosts as the storm twisted into a hurricane of rage, the wind and thunder in a competition on who could drown out any thoughts trying to form in his head.
Then all of their eyes glowed at once.
Goku felt the warmth try to leave his body, but that wasn’t the sensation that worried him.
“Fuck, these things are devils like Spike!”
Goku darted toward the ground, the creatures right on his tail.
He focused on spotting the ground so he could pull up at the last moment. He almost missed it and smashed his hands into the ground to redirect himself. He flew out of the six-foot snowpack and looked behind him, hoping for a crater.
He didn’t see one, but clearly heard screams of pain.
Goku looked up and saw a blue glowing grid above him and the ice ghost things that smashed into it screeching as they evaporated into steam while the others looked on.
After the last of the screams finished the ghosts screeched a banshee neigh before disappearing into the blizzard.
“A magic shield?” Goku looked around, but saw nothing. “Is there something under the snow?”
Goku made a small gentle ki blast and began removing the snow around him.
“Train tracks! Awesome.” He looked in both directions. “Well, here goes nothing.” Goku made a larger blast now that he knew where the ground was and destroyed a large amount of snow. The steam froze midair and formed an odd cave-like effect.
Goku stopped to take another chance to dance and rub his arms. “You’d think they’d make that shield with a heater…” Goku flew off, blasting more snow as he went.
~~***~~
Goku stopped momentarily when he uncovered a tall black pole with a glowing light blue crystal on top that looked like it was spewing something like a fountain.
“That’s the same color as the shield,” he said looking up. “These things must make it.”
Then, Goku heard a train whistle. The snow around him evaporated into an ice dome larger than the shield, but he felt no heat. Even with no snow in the way, it was a while before he saw the faint glow of the headlamp. Then the train ran past him.
“That’s one slow train,” Goku said. “It’s not even highway speed.”
He jumped on the roof of a passing car.
“Kais it’s cold! Please get where you’re going soon, train.”
~~***~~
Shining Armor was in a control room that could have passed for belonging to a nuclear reactor.
“Prince Shining Armor,” a crystal unicorn in a starry cape called out. “There was just a major draw down of power between poles 1087 and 1088. Enough to count for dozens of dead windigos.”
“Keep on it,” he ordered. “Watch for any more attacks.”
“Sire, there were no trains running anywhere near that position. They just… randomly attacked an empty section of track.”
Another crystal pony wearing crystal mufflers on his ears turned around in his chair, “Sire. Word from the westbound train from Vanhoover: Multiple passengers spotted what they thought was an orange clad minotaur by the tracks at Pole 1053. Then a thump and clopping noises on top of the carriages. They are searching for an intruder.”
“That’s three miles from the windigo attack…” Shining Armor tapped his chin.
“No minotaur could run that in less than five minutes in six feet of snow, sire,” the one in the cape commented. “And any magic capable of clearing the snow to make that remotely possible would have triggered every pole in a mile in either direction.”
Shining Armor looked at the clock, “Another two hours until it is scheduled to arrive, correct?”
“Two hours and nineteen minutes, Sire.”
“Do you want soldiers waiting for the train, Sire?” a guard with a train emblem on his armor asked.
“Let’s wait for the final report on an intruder. Not like anypony would stay outside during a windigo attack.”
A new crystal pony soldier entered with an open scroll. “Sire, the mages have finished their analysis of the Crystal Heart. The summary states the pulse of chaos magic that originated from the south has had no lasting effect on the Heart. It’s actually fully charged, as if we just did the yearly ceremony. They believe the activation of the city shield was not defensive, but from an overflow of power from the Heart from converting the chaos magic into love power. There’s some heat damage in the surrounding crystal around the conduits, but no damage to the conduits themselves. That means they briefly reached over 1500 degrees Fahrenhock.”
“So, the palace almost burned down?”
“… It’s not listed in the summary. The mages are waiting for you in the throne room.”
“Why?”
“Princess Cadence has delegated it to you.”
“What?! Why?!”
“Her Equestrian staff all got a mountain of instascrolls from friends and relatives in Ponyville and the castle within minutes of each other. I don’t know the contents, but judging from the panic they caused, your sister and friends are most likely quite busy at the moment.”
Shining Armor sighed and turned to the member of train security. “Lieutenant, only post soldiers at the station if an intruder is found. No pony in their right mind would be outside in a windigo attack. The shield alone can’t protect a pony from freezing to death from the inside out.”
He left the room.
~~***~~
One long meeting later…
“How long until the damage to the palace is fixed?”
“About a month to regrow and align the crystal matrix. Assuming another overcharge event does not happen,” the lead mage answered.
“Any idea why the Crystal Heart reacted to the burst while no other artifacts were affected?”
“Love can sometimes color an unrelated spell because of the emotions involved while casting. That burst most likely had a great deal of love in it.”
“Any relation to the sudden windigo attack so late into spring?”
“No. There was no trace of activation due to dark magic or hate-tainted spells in any of the crystal detectors or the Crystal Heart itself. We have no idea why they are here. Perhaps the other team will have answers, but it is unrelated to the burst.”
“So, this is also proof against the existence of the alicorn dark mage my wife galloped off about?”
“He may or may not exist, but if he does, he is not responsible for the windigos.”
An Equestrian guard galloped into the throne room. “Sire! Panic at the train station! There was an intruder! He was found in a block of ice that fell from the roof.”
“So they’re dead?”
“No! Alive! Moving and talking, no sign of any cold burns or frostbite, but he seems blind. He’s being brought to the dungeon.”
Shining Armor stood. “Why not the hospital?” he shouted furiously.
“No one knows what species he is. His appearance was enough to cause the Equestrians to stampede, causing wider panic in the station. There is a huge split in the guards, but he’s agreed to cooperate with anything as long as he can get warm.”
“The native crystal guards are the only ones being hospitable to him?” Shining Armor sighed.
“Yes…” he said embarrassed. “My peers are being as aggressive as the civilians are panicked.”
“Walk with me, Flash Sentry,” Shining Armor said, trotting over.
The two left the throne room.
“What do we know?”
“His name sounds like san-go-cut, but his teeth are chattering badly. His race name was indecipherable, but begins with an S sound and ends with either an N or a M. When asked why he was in the snow, all he could make out were the words ‘king’ and ‘teleport’ and ‘far away’.”
Shining Armor slid to a stop. “They’ve locked up a possible foreign dignitary?”
“Yes. They don’t trust him. It was a crystal guard who slipped away that reported back. He borrowed a civilian talking stone and casted the emergency spell to contact the secured lines.”
“What about his appearance makes him look untrustworthy?”
“His fur, teeth, and eyes.”
“Meat-eater?”
“‘No one can tell. They just don’t look right,’ is what was said.”
“And his fur?”
“None except his mane. His skin is completely naked to the air. No scars or burns. It looks completely native to his species.”
Shining Armor fought hard and failed to hide the instinctual disgusted look on his face. “His eyes?”
“They are small. Like smaller than a newborn foal’s but on a large head. He says his eyes are normal and claims he has no vision problems. He doesn’t seem to understand it is not in the middle of the night and keeps asking why it is so dark.”
“What else about his appearance?”
“Um. Bipedal. Between 5 and 6 feet tall. Minotaur-like hands. His orange and blue clothing covers every inch of him except his lower arms and head.”
“Anything else of note?”
“No, that was the full contents of the warning. He should be arriving in the back of the magic-propelled police wagon shortly.”
“Light security cell. Dress it up. Get a large bed and a tub with a water heater. Prep the doctors for his physical appearance.”
~~***~~
Goku was soaking in a steaming crystal tub with his clothes scattered on the floor. He smiled blissfully as he took his arms off the sides of the tub and sunk deeper into the water, completely ignoring the gleaming magical forcefield of the cell.
~~***~~
“So he threw off his clothes in front of everyone as soon as he saw the steaming tub and jumped in?”
“Yes, Sire,” Flash Sentry said. “I can confirm he is completely furless except for his mane and umm… stallion area.”
“And his sight?”
“The crystals were turned up as high as they could go. He said it was better but still seemed dim to him.”
“Tell the doctors to pay special attention to his eyes.”
“Yes, Sire.
~~***~~
An hour and a half later…
“What do you mean magic doesn’t affect him?”
“Magic doesn’t affect him!” the doctor shouted. “Every single test says he doesn’t exist! It passes straight through him like nothing is there! We can touch him and do basic physical tests, but anything magic related goes right through him! Even air should cause a reaction! He’s nothing! An impossible void!” The poor pony’s eyelid twitched.
“That… might actually prove he was telling the truth actually…” Flash Sentry said.
“What did he say in interrogation, Lieutenant?”
“That, umm, he’s an alien that was trying to teleport to Ponyville because his friend and his daughter got teleported there by a magical artifact he called dragon balls.”
“Alien from what country?!” the doctor shouted. “That doesn’t explain a thing!”
“Flash…” Shining Armor looked at him. “That’s not funny.”
Flash Sentry handed his folder over to Shining Armor, “I’m not joking, sir. I mean Sire.”
Shining Armor opened the folder, but slammed it shut almost immediately. “He’s from the other side of the portal, shit! Get me down there!”
~~***~~
Shining Armor flipped through the file as he and the guards galloped through the palace.
“Portal? What portal? We’ve been in contact with these creatures before?” an Equestrian guard asked with a bit of disgust in his voice.
“Starswirl’s,” Shining Armor said. “My sister went there officially recently.”
“You mean the place where she met somepony who looked just like me? Left.”
Shining Armor turned with everyone else, his nose still in the papers.
“Yeah. That place. Wait, he writes in Pondarin and Neighpon characters?”
“Yes. He speaks Equestrian, but has difficulty reading it. He called them Qina and Nippon however. Qin was the name of an older dynasty Weigh descends from and is a word the peasantry still calls the region according to the old books in the library.”
“So, Weigh or Neighpon has access to Earth somehow?”
“We haven’t confronted him with that knowledge yet. Stop.”
Shining Armor stopped as they came to the door to the dungeons.
Shining Armor poofed the folder away. He took a deep breath. “Ok. Let’s welcome our visitor.”
~~***~~
Goku was sitting on the bed wrapped in thick blankets holding a steaming cup of tea.
“Oh, this is good,” he said, taking another sip.
“Announcing Prince Shining Armor!”
Goku turned his head and saw a group of guards surrounding a naked white unicorn.
“Greetings, representative of Earth. Welcome to the Crystal Empire.”
Goku put the cup down and got out from under the blanket. He walked up to the screen, put his fist in his palm and bowed. “I am Son Goku, nice to meet you.” He stood and held his hand up, “But you can call me Goku. I don’t do formalities.” He grinned. “Everyone’s a friend until proven otherwise.”
“I see,” Shining Armor smiled back, now seeing why everyone was creeped out by his teeth. “I’m glad to hear you assume the best in beings when you meet them.”
Goku sneezed. “Sorry,” he said, wiping his nose.
“Goku, would you be willing to have a proper meeting with me in the royal office while we prepare a room for you for the night? Surviving a windigo attack isn’t something to shrug off.”
“You mean those horse ghosts?”
“Yes. Even if their ice magic does not directly kill you, exposure is still serious. Medically, we would like you to spend the night.”
“If you think it is best. But could you get a message to Ponyville that I’m here for Vegeta and Bulla? I’m sure they would feel better knowing I’m here on the planet.”
Shining Armor nodded. “Don’t worry. We will get a message through.”
Goku walked forward and passed through the barrier effortlessly to the shock of everyone. “Sounds good.” He then rubbed his arms, “Oh, it’s cold here. That glowing window was keeping the heat in, wasn’t it?”
“Yes…”
“Can I bring the blanket?”
Shining Armor recovered enough to smile. “Whatever it takes to keep you comfortable.”
Goku went back and grabbed the blanket and wrapped himself up.
This time he collided with the forcefield.
“What the?” The impact knocked him back. He reached out and his hand went through like normal, but when he held the blanket, it did not.
“Huh…” he said, putting his fingers to his forehead.
He shocked everyone by teleporting through and appearing in the hallway.
“Ok. Take me wherever you want me to go,” Goku gave his oblivious grin.
~~***~~
News of the strange visitor had spread through the palace and staff was peeking out from every nook and cranny.
Goku was wrapped tight in the thick, puffy blanket, obscuring most of his body.
“I seem to be popular. Guess I really stick out with how tall I am.”
“Yes, you must be tall for your species,” Shining Armor made small talk.
“No, I’m average, if not a little short. There’s plenty of people taller than me.”
“I see…”
“Yeah, I can’t really,” he chuckled. “It’s just naturally this dark here, huh? I guess that’s why everyone has such large eyes.”
“How bright is this compared to Earth?”
“Hmm… I’d say after sunset. When the light is almost gone and the stars come out in the countryside.”
“Really? Why do your rulers keep it so bright?”
“What do you mean?”
“The rulers who control the movement and brightness of the sun.”
“No one controls the sun.”
“But then how does your sun go around the planet?”
“Earth goes around the sun.”
“What?! How? Why?” a guard shouted.
“It just… does?”
“Then who controls the Earth?!” he asked.
“No one. Earth just moves.”
“Lighting Crash,” Shining Armor snapped. “My apologies, Goku.”
“No. It’s ok. Sorry I’m not more of a help. I never graduated from middle school. But both my sons went to high school. They are both book smart. My oldest even went on to college.” Goku’s endless smile faltered, “They are stupid in a lot of other ways, but all my wife and everyone else cares about is books, so I just get ignored.”
“So, why didn’t you graduate?”
“I have a hard time reading words and numbers. Brain just doesn’t work like that. I can do everything else, and I’m one of the most important warriors in the galaxy. But on Earth, if you can’t read, you’re nothing and no one cares about anything else.”
“You’re a soldier?”
“Martial Artist. Trained in temples then directly under the gods.”
“When you say ‘gods’…”
“Earth’s personal Guardian and later the Kais. I just teleported from the Supreme Kai’s planet.”
“And he is?”
“The god of creation for the whole universe,” Goku said, confused. “You really don’t know who the kais are?”
“I’ve never heard of them,” Shining Armor continued. “Where is their planet?”
“The highest point in the afterlife. It’s pretty far. Originally, I had to two-step to the Endless Fields. But I’ve been able to jump the full distance for decades now.”
“You claim to be able to enter the afterlife at will without dying?” another guard asked skeptically.
“And, also by dying,” Goku’s shrug was hidden by the blanket. “I’ve been resurrected twice now. Death hurts— a lot.” He chuckled, “Try to do it only once if you can help it.” He sneezed.
“Quiet!” Shining Armor snapped. “Goku, you’re clearly a very nice individual. But on this planet, manipulating death is the realm of dark and evil magic. I wouldn’t mention that you’ve been resurrected as that would make ponies think you are evil.”
“Oh… ok… But you guys really can’t cross over? There’s lots of ways. From gates, to spells, or I use instant transmission. You guys are all about magic right?”
“Like I said, those lines of research are considered dark magic.”
“So, it’s a morality thing? Ok, I can respect that.”
“And here we are,” Shining Armor said, grasping a handle with his magic. The group entered the room.
Servants were in the middle of switching out the chair.
“Oh wow, you have chairs for me.”
“There are bipedal races on this planet of similar build,” Shining Armor said, climbing the step to his small throne behind the large desk. “If you would excuse me a moment, I rushed to greet you as soon as I was told you came from Earth. I have yet to fully read the report of what happened at your arrival. Should you like more tea while we wait?”
“Yes, thank you.”
Shining Armor opened the folder and continued to read.
“You want to start at the beginning on how you ended up in the blizzard?” he began several minutes later.
“Well, I don’t know how much the kais would want me to tell you. …Oh, thank you,” he said as the tea arrived.
“Use your best judgment.”
“Ok, well, umm, I guess it all started a week ago…”
~~***~~
Shining Armor put down his pen and looked at his scribbled notes.
“Ok, let me go over this one more time…
“First, there’s no magic on Earth except for items related to your gods, beings from the afterlife, or artifacts gifted to your world?”
“Yes.”
“Earth ponies, unicorns and pegasi are considered ancient mythical creatures on Earth, but are no longer believed to exist by adults. However, they are frequently used in children’s stories. One currently popular story with a large likeness manufacturing industry is set in a make-believe kingdom called Ponyville.”
“Yes.”
“So when this Bulla used one of the artifacts she was gifted for a holiday, instead of it not working, it brought her and her father to town. And after they were missing for a day, you used divination to discover what happened to them. Prince Vegeta was turned into a completely pink filly in a ballerina tutu and is currently with ‘the pink one’ and ‘the yellow and blue ones with wings’ in a hollowed-out tree used as a zoo. And Bulla is a white unicorn with blue hair and she was last seen running excitedly around Ponyville alone.”
“Yes.”
“And it was this North Kai, who you call King Kai because he rules over the part of the universe Earth is in, who helped you teleport here because you had no familiar ‘key’ to lock onto.”
“Yes.”
“And the Kais were having their own meeting, because stars were being moved around. They thought it would be dangerous as our solar system is not stationary, but actually moving, and is approaching inhabited space?”
“Yes. In a couple weeks if I remember right. Once we make sure they are ok, whoever is doing it will have to work things out with them to make sure no one gets hurt as you move through.”
Shining Armor scratched the side of his head, “Quite… Definitely quite the story you have there, Goku.”
Goku shrugged. “It’s the truth.”
Shining armor went back to the file he was given. “Is your race naturally immune to magic?”
“No, why?”
“The doctors were trying to do scans to look for any damage from the windigos, but they literally came back with nothing. Your body did not register as existing. Even air causes a reaction.”
“Oh? I thought they were freaking out because I look weird to everyone. The ones covered in glitter have been nicer about it. The others looked like Vegeta when he’s on his last nerve and is about to lose his temper with their faces twitching like that.” He scratched his nose. “Was hard not to laugh, to be honest.”
Then he sneezed again.
“Goku, how did you survive the windigo attack?”
“You mean the fight? I could have ended it quicker, but King Kai asked me to keep my power low to not scare the locals. I’m just glad I accidently found the tracks. I was thinking I was going to get in trouble taking it more seriously. I recognized the type of sin attack they started using after I killed a few, but even if I’m immune, it made the air a thousand times colder.” He rubbed his arms, “I still can feel the ice forming on my arm hair.”
“You killed a windigo? How? It takes powerful magic to even damage one,” a guard spoke up.
“I said quiet,” Shining Armor snapped again.
“Well, ki kills them,” Goku said. “Really easily. The barrier at the tracks made them scream just something awful. At least ki was quick. I wouldn’t wish pain like that on anyone.”
“You’re showing sympathy for windigos?!”
Shining Armor slammed both his hooves on the table. “That’s enough!” He pointed at the door, “Get out! Everyone but Flash and the crystal guards! The rest of you are being unbelievably rude.” He pointed at the door, “Now! Don’t make me repeat myself.”
Everyone hesitated.
Shining Armor grabbed the doors with his magic and swung them open. “N—” he stopped seeing the aide that was about to knock.
Shining Armor took a more regal pose, “Yes. What is it?”
“Forgive me, Prince Shining Armor. Fourteen of the old embassy staffs have gathered demanding to see the ‘buddha’ that was taken away by the guards. All far eastern nations. The group is being led by the old Neighponese ambassador and his modern partner.”
“You recognized that word,” Shining Armor said, seeing Goku’s face as he turned around to look at the open door.
“Yeah, I think they mean me.”
“Show the two ambassadors in. The guards I ordered out, out.”
~~***~~
Two non-sparkling earth ponies entered the room, and Goku immediately recognized the robes and dots on their foreheads.
Shining Armor was glancing back and forth at the similarly bright clothing when Goku suddenly rushed to his feet and bowed with his fist in his palm.
The two ponies sat on their haunches and tapped their hooves together mimicking the pose.
One spoke, and Shining Armor figured it was the original ambassador as the translation spell was spitting out nonsense, if anything at all.
Goku spoke next, and the spell barely did anything either. The three spoke rapidly, with him only getting a third of the conversation before he intervened.
“Gentle ponies, I must ask Ponish be spoken. The translation spell is struggling with what I assume are different dialects.”
Goku turned around and pointed at his face. “You mean this right?” Goku said in English.
“Yes,” he nodded. “Guards, fetch two pony chairs on your way out for the ambassadors. Ambassadors, I ask you to stay and answer a few questions on how you know our guest here.”
“But we literally just met,” Goku said.
“Yet you recognize something about them to immediately scramble to bow and then speak the same language.”
“You don’t question why we can talk,” Goku pointed out the obvious.
“That will come up as well,” Shining Armor answered.
The new chairs arrived.
“Please sit, everypony.”
The three sat and the equestrian guards begrudgingly left, leaving only crystal guards.
“So, Goku. Judging from the fact you can write in Neighponese and Pondarin, I assume those were the first languages you were schooled in for this trip? Why? When your destination was Ponyville?”
“I wasn’t schooled in anything. I speak Japanese, Mandarin, Cantonese, Korean and English. Those are all Earth languages. I thought it was just some translation thing you had, but I guess the same languages exist on both our planets.”
“That is highly improbable Goku. I understand the individuals you believe are gods asked you not to be fully honest, but make up something more believable.”
The old ambassador spoke. “Doest the two faces of a coin knoweth of each other, or the two halves of an hourglass see what lies beyond the hole that giveth and taketh the sand? Yet both art joined as one and the same by what tis impossible for them to witness yet tis obvious to all once removed from the world and can experience the true reality.”
“Are you claiming Earth and Equus are perfect copies of each other?”
“Not perfect. Tis not an accident that an enchanted mirror binds us. We art the reflection of the other. Identical, but flipped at the same time.”
Goku gripped his armrests excitedly and began to speak Japanese before catching himself. “There’s a magic mirror that connects Earth and this place?”
“Yes…”
Before he could continue, Goku looked up at the ceiling. “Hey! King Kai! Are you still watching this?!”
Suddenly a voice came from everywhere and nowhere at the same time, spooking all the ponies in the room. “Yes, Goku. I’ve been checking up on you while the Supreme Kai has all of us running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Souls are crossing over now and we don’t even have a Lord of Death assigned to organize processing.”
“Well, someone has to be doing the job if people aren’t becoming ghosts.”
“We know, Goku. But there’s no Korin Tower there to make it easy to locate the gods like on Earth. Continue with the meeting, I’m listening. If this mirror sounds useful to get back and forth, I’ll pass it on.”
Suddenly the modern ambassador shouted in Neighponese, and the disembodied voice responded in kind.
Again, Shining Armor was only getting half of the conversation.
(“Are you truly one of the Kais?”)
A few moments later both ponies got out of their chairs and dropped to their knees.
“(The teachings came through the lost Sacred Mirror of Teabit millennia ago. Its reflection was to Tibet and the Middle Kingdom.)”
“(There is no need to apologize, your holiness! If the Royal Sisters have burdened you, then that is Equestria’s sin.)”
“(Yes, they are the ones who move the sun, moon and stars of our world.)”
“Wait,” Shining Armor said forcefully. “What did you just say about the princesses?”
“I explained my busyness was due to your solar system unexpectedly entering my territory without a proper hand off,” the disembodied voice said. “I don’t even know the names of the terrestrial gods I’m looking for. Don’t worry. Everyone’s working to make sure your planet’s souls will get to where they belong one way or another. There will be no interruption in the death and birth cycles on your world. The paperwork is just…” he sighed frustrated, “going to be unbelievably disorganized and messy for a few more weeks on our end.”
“What do you plan to do to the princesses?”
“Nothing but a stern talking to. Obviously, mortals wouldn’t know about an otherworldly boundary like that, but they are moving you in the direction of some of my inhabited planets. So there needs to be some close cooperation to pass safely through the area in the next few months. Even if Vegeta didn’t screw up, again, Goku would still be visiting your planet as our representative for an official visit, not in this undignified ad hoc emergency rescue mission.”
Goku sneezed.
“Goku… why are you in a blanket?”
“I almost froze to death battling demon ghost horses.”
“With how powerful you are?”
“You told me not to use it!”
“… Ok. You’re right. That’s on me.”
“I’m better than I was, but some of the cold won’t go away.”
“Have you been meditating to stay warm?”
“Yes. From what I’ve been told about these wind-ee-goes, that might be the only reason I’m alive.”
“Let me look at you a moment. … Oh my. That’s one nasty death spell. Goku, keep meditating. That coldness you're feeling is spiritual. It’s sapping your ki, but it has a limit. Keep it elevated.”
“Would transforming make it instantly go away then?”
“And have everyone with a scouter in 100 lightyears know where this rogue planet is?! No! Son Goku we spoke about this.”
“Then how long? They want to keep me overnight.”
“Then I would listen to them. We’ll keep checking up on Vegeta and let you know if there is a change.”
“What’s happening with him now?”
“Let me check… huh… that’s definitely him… Seems he’s not pink anymore. He’s a large black stallion. He’s in a cast in a hospital and the blue rainbow-haired one is crying.”
“Poison joke grows around Ponyville,” Shining Armor said. “Its magic takes what you are most proud of and turns it on its head.”
“So he’s probably not pink?” Goku said. “Good to know. He hates that color. I thought Shen Long did him dirty.”
“Who?” Shining Armor asked.
“Oh, the dragon balls. The magic stones I mentioned that did all of this.”
“The artifact?” Shining Armor went back to the folder, “I don’t remember—”
“Goku!”
Goku flinched, “Sorry King Kai.”
“So, that was one of the things you were told not to say,” Shining Armor said matter-of-factly, putting the folder back down.
“Well, I need to get back to work. I’ll let you know if Vegeta or Bulla get into any danger.”
Shining Armor couldn’t put a hoof on it, but it almost felt like something in the air left the room. A scent? A temperature change? A breeze on the fur?
The ambassadors moved quickly from bowing in front of their chairs to bowing to Goku.
Goku awkwardly put his hands up. “Come on guys, I’m no one special. Really. I’ve turned down every offer to become a kami and everything else. I’m just a man. And not even a teacher. Just a forever wandering student.”
“Your name says otherwise.”
Goku began waving his arms. “No. No. No. I’m not THEE Son Goku. My grandpa called me that because I was born with a tail and the name stuck. I’m not an immortal or a god in any capacity.”
“You are an emissary of the divine.”
“Guys, please, if I wanted to be honored like this, I would have become a kami instead of running off with the girl I married.”
“Kame,” the old ambassador said standing, “Thou art is making our fellow guest uncomfortable before this land’s ruler.”
“Yes… Lord Mutaito,” he said, getting up.
Goku’s face blanked. “Ahhh-ummm…” he raised his finger limply. “You don’t by any chance usually wear a pair of sunglasses, do you?”
“Yes!” Kame said surprised.
“I believe thou hast met his reflection?”
“Yes, Kame-Senin was my first master.”
“I am nowhere proficient enough for a student, let alone called a Senin.”
“A reflection tis not a perfect copy. His teacher’s skill versus thy ineptitude tis perfectly believable.”
“But I don’t even need bracers!”
“That was a basic fact of life in my time. That ponies haft fallen so far in eight generations tis troubling.” Mutaito sat back down. “Our apologies, Prince Shining Armor.”
“Wait… Does that mean your sister was crushing on some loser teenager who plays Ogres and Oubliettes instead of a respectable stallion?”
“The mirror works?!” the two ponies shouted in unison.
“From what I was told, Starswirl’s mirror opens randomly for a few hours every several years. I doubt it’s the mirror you mentioned.”
“No, the mirror was Starswirl’s. It was his prison mirror that he abandoned after he lost control of it in Teabit. He agreed to fix it after it stopped working and we never got it back.”
“He used Earth as a prison?” Goku asked, surprised.
“All magical beings are supposed to lose their powers there,” Mutaito said. “The realm itself sucks them dry.”
“Ah… that would make sense,” Goku said, scratching his nose. “I guess that’s why the ghost horses eat ki then, if we’re opposites.” Then he sneezed again.
“Ki exists here alongside magic,” Mutaito said, shaking his head. “But magic blocks ki use. One must break the wall to access it.”
Mutaito turned his hoof up and a ball of light formed. “Ponies have an especially hard time and need intervention at a very young age to even stand a chance.”
“Ah, yeah. Most humans can’t use ki either unless they’re taught as kids too.”
Shining Armor turned his head and raised his hoof at the light. “So, you were taught this power as a child?” He said flipping through the file. “Why don’t you douse that light and we switch topics to what this ‘key’ actually is and how you used it to kill the windigos, Goku.”
“Ki is just a person’s life energy. Use too much and you can pass out and die. People are born with different amounts, but with training you can raise it up. I was born a third class Saiyan but I’m now one of the strongest in the galaxy.”
“What is a third class Saiyan?”
“My species. I’m not human. I was raised on Earth since I was a baby, but Saiyans originally come from the planet Vegeta.”
“He was named after the planet?”
Goku smiled. “Yeah, sure.”
Shining Armor saw how uncomfortable he was, but did not press the subject.
“So, you can focus this life energy like magic and use it as a weapon?”
Goku shrugged.
“Yes,” Mutaito said. “That tis correct. A raw magic blast tis the most accurate. It burns with heat but also acts like a physical blow. It can also be used to mimic earth pony magic in increasing strength.” He then stood and rose in the air. “The skilled can even fly like pegasi.”
Shining Armor picked his jaw off the ground as he landed and took his seat.
“And your teleportation,” he looked at Goku, “it is also ki based?”
“Yep.”
“Interesting power…” Shining Armor tapped his hoof on the desk. “And this has been kept a secret from the rest of the world?”
“No,” Kame said. “The isolation wars that were thankfully fought after the Crystal Empire’s disappearance were over the spread of Buddhist teachings. It is outlawed in almost every nation and has led to great suffering for the races who refuse to abandon it. Even in Equestria, it can lead to death.”
“Very few things lead to the death penalty in Equestria. And as the former head of the Royal Guard, I know all our nation’s laws. And I have never heard of Buddhism or ki before.”
“Ponies must use magic locks to suppress their magic in order to even hope to find their ki beyond the mana heart. The western nations do not believe delaying the acquisition of cutie marks by a few years is worth the effort.”
Shining Armor stamped his front hooves on the table as he reared up. “You magic lock your foals?!”
Mutaito smiled. “I will prepare the embassies and staff for exile then. Now that the road to Earth has reopened and no longer requires magic, we no longer must wait on Equestria’s broken promises.”
“Prince Shining Armor,” one of the crystal ponies spoke up. “Isn’t your reaction right now the same as the Equestrian magic delegation you ordered to be removed by force from the kingdom when they came to study ‘lost and primitive magicks’ and to ‘educate the masses on the proper methods’?” The unicorn tossed his spear down, approached the front of the table, took off his helmet with his magic, and placed it on the table. “If you continue with your emotional reaction, then I will have no choice but to deliver my resignation from the royal guards.”
All the guards in the room began dropping their weapons and placing their helmets on the floor.
A guard also took off his cloth pauldron marking himself as a combat mage. “Prince Shining Armor. Ki usage is taught as electives in the Imperial Academy. I took Life Energy Theory 101, but I know higher classes are available that voluntarily use magic locks in experiments. Before you show the rest of the empire your Equestrian blood, learn about this kingdom. Remember, you did not save us. A dragon did.”
He then walked out of the room. The other crystal guards grabbed their helmets and followed.
“Respectfully captain,” Flash Sentry said, now the only guard left in the room. “You just bucked up, really hard.”
Shining Armor sat back down, “Could you three stand outside for a moment, so I may talk with my subordinate alone.”
“More than happy too,” Goku said awkwardly. He stood behind the chair and pulled the blanket back over his head. “You do you. I’ll just be outside.” He walked backward a few steps before turning around and leaving.
Mutaito and Kame left silently.
The door shut with a thud.
Shining Armor sighed, laying his head on the table. “Thoughts? Since you clearly have them also?”
“While I have the same emotions on magic locking a foal… when I saw the earth pony fly, all I thought was of that disabled pegasi that hangs out with your sister and her friends. The one that will never fly because she was born with mangled and missing filaments in her back and wings. I think she would willingly delay or even sacrifice ever getting a cutie mark without a second thought if it meant she could learn to fly.”
“Anything else?”
“Even if Goku misunderstood the windigos ability to vaporize and reappear elsewhere as death, he teleported right through that cell’s containment field, something that can stop everypony but a trained unicorn mage. This power is real, and it can completely overpower or even bypass magic. Even if his claiming to be one of the most powerful beings in… I guess everything, is the reason he could walk right through it, that means he could be the equivalent of an alicorn of this ki, or at least Starswirl.”
“And that voice was no telepathy spell…” Shining Armor said, lifting his head. “That was… eerie… unnatural even…” He stood with his hooves on the desk. “Alright, I’ve made up my mind.”
“Sir?”
“I’m going to college.”
Flash Sentry took a moment to shake the look of horror off his face. “Shall I fetch your IEP, sir?”
“No. Celestia, if Twilight found out I’m dyslexic, she’d never forgive me for embarrassing her like that.” He sighed, “Thanks for doing my homework for me… I would have never had the grades to get into the army otherwise. Special talent or not.”
“Keep talking,” he smiled. “What else has your wing stallion done for you?”
Shining Armor rolled his eyes, then came over and put his front leg over his neck, “And who wants what with my sister?”
“Hey, she's crushing on me. And apparently not the real me but some loser me. I’m not gonna treat her anything but like a princess until that kid can tell the difference between us.” He paused. “So, I’m going to college too to keep you looking good, right?”
“Of course.”
Chapter 33: Pins and Needles
Chapter 33: Pins and Needles
The military transport exited the city proper and into the apple orchards towards the mountains.
The monks flew alongside the speeding vehicle with the pegasi guards.
“You guys are really fast,” one of the guards said flying next to the minotaur. “You want to race once I’m off duty?”
“I’d be happy to,” he smiled. “I’m Seigo.”
“Ice Breaker,” the pegasus smiled back.
~~***~~
Goku had his face smushed up on the glass making a pig nose.
“Wow, this place kinda looks like home.”
“Yes. When the previous daimyo came with his followers,” Lord Mutaito said, “they made their farms here on purpose. I was truly surprised so many came. The beast must have had some good qualities before his correction.”
“Correction?” Shining Armor asked.
Mutaito kicked Tao in the head when he began to stir. He was tied up with ropes in the middle of the floor.
“A failed student who used his limited skill with ki for evil. A bandit who ruled a territory by brute force and was recognized as a warlord by the emperor who did not care for such a distant land that had so little rice potential. When the fire happened, it was seen as judgment from the gods.”
“Wait…” Goku turned around. “Are you talking about the Ox-King and Mount Frypan?”
“Did a similar thing happen beyond the mirror?” Kame asked.
“Yes, in fact, Ox-King and Grandpa Gohan were students of my Roshi. He put the fires out and did the correction. My family lives there.”
“Does he still live?”
“Yeah—” Goku’s excitement to talk disappeared. “Is… is he dead?”
“Yes, while he did well to protect the beings in his territory and refugees from the capital, the former daimyo still bowed to Sombra of his own free will. While doing so kept the autotomy of the region, it left a lot of ponies bitter. Shortly after the empire’s return, a ronin came as a hired guard for the new merchant clans trying to make connections to long lost relatives. Being originally a criminal gang, the strongest ruled. So, anyone could challenge him for his title.”
“And his daughter?” Goku asked.
“A brute. Hardly a cow. Unmarriable by any civilized being. Like her father, she would only marry whoever defeated her.”
“And this ronin did both?” Shining Armor asked.
“Yes.”
Goku hid his face out the window. “The ox-princess I know is the one of the most stubborn and bull-headed women I know. She even made me get a driver’s license even though we can all ride the kinto’un.”
“A what?” Shining Armor asked.
“Yes, the princess did have that ability. She has not been seen riding one since her defeat.” Lord Mutaito said.
“They say she’s become so addicted to dick, she’s lost all her sanity. She serves her husband like a—”
“Kame!” Mutaito shouted.
Suddenly, the window Goku was looking out cracked.
~~***~~
The vehicle arrived at the palace and was greeted by tall beings with samurai armor.
“Hi,” Goku smiled, being the first to step out of the vehicle. “We’re here to meet the daimyo.”
The samurai did not react well to the casual attitude.
“And who the hell are you to be so disrespectful?” one shouted as they all popped their swords up with their thumbs.
“HE,” Lord Mutaito stressed as he stepped out, “is the emissary of the Kais from beyond the mirror. I’m sure the servants of Furaipan-jo are well informed of what has transpired the past two days.”
The samurai looked upset but immediately bowed. “Greetings to the emissary and the Khen Rinpoche.”
“Announcing the arrival of Prince Shining Armor!” Flash Sentry shouted as the two rounded the back of the vehicle.
It was not missed by anyone that the samurai stood straight.
“You brought the prisoner and to negotiate punishment,” the samurai from before spoke. He turned to the side. “Follow me.”
~~***~~
Goku strode ahead of the samurai while still carrying the colossal pony over his shoulder.
“You act like you know the way,” the samurai gave him the side-eye.
“Yeah, this place looks identical to Gyumao-dono’s house. We’re headed to the throne room in the omote, right?”
“You served the demon emperor?”
“No. Our families were close friends. The first time I met him as a kid was when I had to tell him Grandpa died. He didn’t take it well…”
“That should have been your father’s role.”
“My parents were killed when I was a baby. I was raised by Grandpa.”
“…My apologies to the family head of your clan.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Goku said, but his smile did not return. “I was told this world’s Ox-King died a year ago. What was he like?”
“All the vassals of the previous daimyo have been replaced,” he said curtly.
“So, there’s no one here I know?” Goku said. “That’s too bad. It would have been nice to see more familiar faces.”
“The demon emperor?” Shining Armor interjected.
Goku scratched his nose. “Yeah, well. He was really vicious when he was pissed off when I was younger. But he’s an awesome ruler. I take one look at all that paperwork on his desk and my eyes cross. The parties aren’t much better. I got dragged to the capital for a big thing with all the other lesser kings and other leaders. It was nice seeing the high king again, but after a while I just snuck out the bathroom window and climbed down the tree. The princess was PISSED, but Gyumao-dono just laughed.”
Lord Mutaito sighed. “One of the only good qualities the previous daimyo had was bureaucratic work, when he wasn’t a raging mad male. He knew how to run a han and despite hoarding the majority of the wealth for himself, no one truly suffered like they did under his original reign across the sea. The fact the late princess visited often most likely had the majority of the effect.”
Goku looked back at Mutaito. “You can’t just accept he learned his lesson and improved himself?”
“I knew him since he was young. He never changed nor saw the reason to. I don’t know what prompted such a shift in thy world. But no such thing happened here. We art imperfect copies. Remember the divergent fates of the being on your shoulder as we enter the throne room.”
Shining Armor noticed Goku take a sharp breath and let it out through his nose.
~~***~~
Goku led the group outside the walls. He stopped and looked around.
It was a dead garden. Brown grass or bare dirt, wilted flowers, a leafless tree, and a not-so-zen zen garden with a broken rake.
“Who wrecked the garden? This was his wife’s garden.”
“This is a recreation of the garden from the original Furaipan-jo,” Lord Mutaito corrected. “The new daimyo has left it uncared for.”
“Uncared for? It’s DEAD. Not overgrown. DEAD. He even emptied the water from the stream. He needed to deliberately close off the water pumps.”
“The great daimyo is going to completely remodel the castle,” the samurai said.
While they argued under the dead tree, a pony in scholar’s robes with a beaded veil ran over. “What are you doing? Arguing with the guests!” He bowed. “Welcome to Gyuui-jo. I am—”
“Wait,” Goku interrupted. “Why did you just call this place Ox-Boar castle?”
“The new daimyo has renamed the castle to signify the beginning of his Greatness’ new dynasty. Has that not been understood and recorded by the imperial palace?”
Goku looked at Mutaito, closed his eyes and nodded his head.
Shining Armor also understood the unspoken insult to the new daimyo. “I am Prince Shining Armor. This is the first time I am hearing this.”
“Truly? Then it must be dealt with. But as I was saying, I am Minister Gin. It is an honor to greet the emperor, the great lord of the temple, and the holy emissary.”
“Ah, young Gin,” Lord Mutaito said. “The son of Tomi the great merchant and younger twin of Kin. You’ve done quite well for yourself since you entered the country only 14 months ago. To be second in this great han to only the daimyo at the age of 42.”
“Yes,” he beamed at the praise. “When our mercenary took it upon himself to slay the demon emperor, father leapt at the opportunities it created.” He turned around. “Please follow me.”
Goku tapped Kame’s foot as they walked. He looked up and Goku pointed at his ear. Kame got on his hind legs.
“Is 42 really that young?” Goku whispered.
“How long do Rén live?”
“Seventy to eighty years.”
Kame barely managed to stop his shout. He took a deep breath. “Ponies live for over 200 years. I’m only 63,” he whispered back, “barely old enough to be taken seriously as an adult.”
Goku looked him up and down in shock.
Kame shrugged and returned to all four hooves.
~~***~~
The scholar and Goku took different paths.
“Guests, follow me please,” Gin chased after them.
Goku stopped. “Did he move the throne room?” Goku pointed in the direction he was headed.
“We need to lock the prisoners before presenting you to the daimyo.”
Goku pointed at himself, “You including me?”
“Yes. We were informed you did offer yourself as a replacement to the prince.”
“Alright,” Goku turned and everyone went down the new hallway.
~~***~~
If everyone else would please wait here,” Gin said, “Only the emissary and the prisoner need to enter.”
“As co-ruler of this country,” Shining Armor stepped forward, “I would like to witness how these ki-locks work. It is a gap our law enforcement needs to contend with as more beings travel to the empire from beyond.”
“…Let me ask the doctors quick,” Gin rushed inside.
Goku suddenly began to tremble and took a step back. He started to whimper.
“What’s wrong?” Flash asked, alarmed.
“There’s only one way that involves doctors…”
~~***~~
Goku was curled up on the floor hiding behind everyone as his worst fears were confirmed.
“Needles… Needles… Needles…”
“Ah-cue-puncture?” Shining Armor said slowly.
“Yes, it uses needles to block and redirect ki through the meridians using small needles,” the eastern unicorn doctor said. “Painless and completely reversible.”
“Then explain this!” Flash pointed at Goku now shivering and sobbing.
“Personal phobia perhaps?” the doctor mused. “But let’s start on the unconscious one. You will see everything is fine.”
His assistants took Tao and held him down, splayed out on his stomach on the table.
The doctor cast a spell and lines began to glow across his body.
“Are those the mana filaments?” Shining Armor said shocked.
“Yes. The spell however only marks them and does not induce hardening in any way.”
An assistant put a box on the table.
The doctor opened it and began pulling out two to four inch needles.
Shining Armor and his guards winced as he began shoving them into Tao’s body at seemingly random locations.
“Teng, go get a minotaur set for the Rén,” the doctor said, pulling out a needle, revealing it was hollow and left a flexible wire sticking out of the flesh. The assistants began wrapping the protruding wires flat with bandages as the doctor moved from location to location.
After placing fifteen to twenty needles, the doctor stepped back. “Alright, hold him tight,” he ordered the unicorns, “It’s time to wake him up.”
After the unicorn assistants strengthened their spells, the doctor put smelling salts under his nose while doing a healing spell on his head.
Tao began to gag, then curse and struggle.
“(Calm down. Taopaipai,)” Lord Mutaito stepped in front of him. “(Thou art at the daimyo’s castle.)”
“(Why am I being treated like a common thief?!)” he shouted realizing he was pinned.
“(Prince Shining Armor tis mad over the damage to the building. Thou art being pinned as a sign of good will while the two bicker over any legal punishment thou might suffer beyond the temple. But if it will make thee feel better, Son Goku will be pinned as well and he tis currently sobbing like a baby. He seems to have a phobia of needles. Take petty comfort in his screams of terror.)”
Tao looked bitter. “(I look forward to it.)”
Tao was released from the magic and carefully got up.
Shining Armor noticed he was shaky, weak, and exhausted. He dragged his feet as the samurai guided him to the side.
The table was reconfigured for a minotaur, its sides lowered to make it thinner while grip bars were inserted for his hands.
“Son Goku,” The doctor ordered. “Get on the table.”
“Can’t I just promise to be good?” he whimpered.
Ten samurai suddenly stormed into the room, katana drawn. “That will not be an option,” said their leader.
Shining Armor immediately cast a protective bubble. “What’s the meaning of this?!”
“The daimyo has ruled that the emissary’s familiarity with the mirror’s copy of his predecessor is a direct threat. He wants him nailed and shackled.”
“The emissary of the gods nailed!?” Lord Mutaito shouted. “Are you insane? Or does the daimyo wish the whole nation to be sent to the deepest hells!”
Goku screamed and hid behind Shining Armor. He very unceremoniously clung to his back leg like a scared child.
The samurai looked stunned.
“He’s severely scared of needles.” Lord Mutaito said.
“What’s the difference between pinned and nailed?” Shining Armor demanded.
“The ki equivalent of being turned to stone,” Lord Mutaito said. “Used as punishment. Not containment!”
“He is a Rén,” the samurai said. “Surely the favorite of the gods is strong enough for it to be no more tiring than a normal pin?”
One of the samurai came forward and placed a box on the table and opened it.
“Those are real nails!” Shining Armor shouted, seeing the thick pins about the width of a finishing nail. “I won’t allow it!”
Another samurai walked forward and swung his sword.
The ponies thought he was just showing off until Flash Sentry’s helmet plume fell apart at a clean cut and scattered on the floor.
“How?” Shining Armor’s eyes widened. “You weren’t even close to the shield.”
“Remember where you are, pony,” he said as the other samurai started to laugh.
“That’s enough.”
Everyone looked at Goku as he stood.
“I’ll do it,” he said through chattering teeth.
~~***~~
“This will be remembered,” Shining Armor said as the group was led into another room at katana point.
The samurai laughed again.
“And what can you do about it?” one snorted.
Lord Mutaito punched Tao when he snickered.
~~***~~
In the other room, the doctor and the assistants were having a huddle.
“The magic isn’t working,” an assistant whispered in panic. “What do we do?”
“Get a chart and a knotted cord,” the doctor said. “The license exam is to do it by hoof, isn’t it?”
“What if we miss?”
“We pin all the secondary locations. Get the pin box back out,” he ordered.
~~***~~
Back in the other room, everyone turned to the door as Goku started to scream.
The samurai laughed and began to joke. It did not take a translation spell to know they were mocking Goku.
The second door to the hallway opened. “The daimyo demands to see the visitors now without the Rén.”
~~***~~
The group was led into a large rectangular room. There was an intricate lattice cutting off the far side of the room. The dais was on a wide platform surrounded by curtains. There was a long strip of fire blocking off the entire section from the rest of the room.
There were female minotaur servants lining the walls in the back half while more individuals dressed like Gin from many races filled the front half.
All the cows were dressed in gray robes and full habits, but Shining Armor noticed one had her horns conspicuously missing.
Gin immediately got on his stomach, stood, walked closer, and repeated two more times.
He stood next to the fire wall. “Kowtow and approach the daimyo!”
Shining Armor watched the monks and Tao do the same motion but stayed bowed in the center of the room.
“Kowtow and approach the daimyo!” Gin repeated.
Shining Armor and Flash Sentry glanced at each other, then Shining Armor gave a respectful western nod, then began walking forward.
Suddenly the floor in front of him exploded. When the dust settled it revealed a huge slash in the stone floor.
“Does the Equestrian usurper not understand Ponish?”
Shining Armor looked up and saw the curtain slashed in half. The rod finally failed and tumbled down revealing a standing minotaur in yellow striped eastern clothing and shaggy black hair with his sword drawn. Then he pointed the sword at the prince.
“I said kowtow, pony.”
Shining Armor caught his breath and looked up from the hole. “I am Prince Shining Armor, co-ruler of the empire your lands—”
The minotaur waved his katana again.
The blast of wind threw his hair back and blew his cheeks out.
“Last I checked, you said all the old agreements are void. We stand as equals until I bow to you.”
Shining Armor glared at him. “Big words for a ruler whose lands would instantly turn into tundra infested with windigos without our protection.”
He laughed. “And what will you do? This place is square in the middle of the heart’s natural range. You would have to abandon the imperial capital to fulfill your threat.”
Everyone else laughed as well.
Shining Armor noticed much of it was awkward and out of fear.
He also knew he was right.
“You must be the daimyo,” Shining Armor said.
He scratched the side of his head with the hilt of his katana. “I’ve been thinking… Shogun ,” he paused for effect, “would be more appropriate a title.”
“That would need to be handled in negotiations at a later time,” Shining Armor said. “Or did you think I would grant a title change without knowing its meaning or importance in your culture, Daimyo?”
The minotaur smiled and shrugged, “If you wish to delay the inevitable.” He turned around. “Servants, move the curtains.”
The rest of the curtains were drawn back to the sides of the room and everyone saw the dais properly.
The large, arguably gaudy throne had an enlarged armrest that currently had an even gaudier minotaur cow dressed in red and gold silks, every inch of her overloaded with jewelry and far too much makeup.
Then all the ponies’ eyes widened as they looked on the wall above. A gigantic ax covered in blood was hung on the wall, and above it…
— was a taxidermied head of a graying minotaur.
The daimyo laughed again as he sat down. The cow then draped herself over him.
“I see you finally understand where you are. Welcome to the great lands of Gyuui, Nanban-uma.”
Everyone followed his lead and laughed again.
The daimyo stopped laughing and everyone instantly fell silent.
“I will show my benevolence and forgive this insult by our ignorant visitors,” he waved them forward. “Come stand with the monks. Monks, you may stand and bow your heads.”
The ponies hopped over the hole and walked to the others in the center of the room.
Shining Armor looked at him, then glanced at the cow. “Princess Chichi seems quite happy in spite of the choice of decorations.”
The cow sat up looking offended, but the daimyo held his hand up stopping her from shouting.
“Yes,” he held his hand up and waved around the room. “As you can see, all of my cows are ecstatically happy.” He then pointed at one, “Hornless one, come over here.”
The cow walked forward, and Shining Armor noticed her right arm was stiff.
She stopped at the fire.
“Did I tell you you could stop? Come here!”
The ponies flinched as she walked through the fire without flinching. She did not try to extinguish the hems of her clothes and knelt at the bottom of the steps to the dais as her clothes smoldered.
The distinct smell of burning fur started to waft through the air.
The daimyo then pulled his robes aside, then his loincloth.
“Come here, zero.”
She climbed the steps but stayed standing in front of him.
The daimyo sat forward annoyed. “Do we have to do this every time? Get down on your knees and pleasure your master, you stupid bitch.” He raised his member with his hand. “Stick it in your mouth. You should know how to do this after a year.”
The cow knelt and did as she was told.
The daimyo leaned back. “So, Shining Armor. You seem upset over something that happened at the lesson? Enlighten me to what you found so abhorrent.”
“You are really going to have a meeting while ‘this’ is going on?”
“Yes. We are. Now, are we going to talk? Or will I be giving a lecture on the utter rudeness of foreigners coming into our lands and telling us what to do?”
“Your tribes are guests of the empire.”
“And you are an equestrian usurper. The Crystal Empire is a bastion of reason, tolerance, and learning and has always been an ally of the middle empires. YOU are royalty of a kingdom that launched a war of total destruction then completely isolated and cut off the world from our nations when you failed in your attempt to kill every calf, foal, fawn, and chick. And it was Equestria that not only opened the mirrored road in the first place, but have kept it a secret that it has opened again. Tell me, prince, as an equestrian who claims to be able to see past their innate insecurities, what does this look like to you?”
“I can assure you Equestria has chang—”
“Bullshit. The leaders who condemned and led the invasion are still in power. Ponies live long enough that there are still probably ponies that were alive at the time still around, and even if they weren’t, their children raised directly in their bigotry and hatred are definitely still around and are prime age to be in positions of power. The only reason your kingdom re-established contact was because the rest of the world’s nations stopped caring about your little embargo and moved on generations ago.”
He looked down. “Zero, lean back for a moment.”
The cow stopped and leaned back.
The daimyo drew his wakizashi and brought the full force of its hilt to the top of her head.
She fell to the side at the impact.
“You stupid whore! Why am I feeling anger and stress during this meeting while one of my cows is fulfilling her duties?! How much more do I have to take from you? I’ve already sliced off your horns and ears! Should I cut off another limb, then? If you want to leave this room with both legs, I better not feel a single grain of anything but overwhelming pleasure.”
He grabbed her head and shoved it between his legs.
He sighed and relaxed his shoulders as he put the wakizashi away.
Shining Armor glanced around the room as much as he could without moving his head.
Even with his limited view, he spotted a cow with half of one horn missing.
“Now, Let’s continue. Gin! Show the usurper the documents.”
The pony came over and presented the scroll to Shining Armor.
“‘Notice on experiment on non-magical lighting's effect on structures,’” Shining Armor read the title.
“After the first few strikes,” the daimyo began, “the repair teams noticed the damage did not match any known lighting patterns. So, the school decided to STOP repairing the damage and let it accumulate for study. This was given to us, as the han nor the temple would be held legally and financially responsible. You can also see that the university actively evacuated that building and the surrounding sidewalks for the inevitable falling debris when it eventually fell. You see from the imperial seal and signature, the empress was party to this agreement. Gin, the next two.”
He pulled out the next two scrolls and Shining Armor took them in his magic as well.
“The first one is notice from the palace signed by both the Banking Oversight and the Lottery and Gambling Oversight departments that the thousand years sealed would not count towards interest on any accounts or money transfers. The second is the authorized list of betting pools the government of this han is party to. As you can see, there are eight regarding the experiment being run by the university.”
The daimyo grinned, “And BOTH carry the modern seal of your dynastic family, meaning the palace legitimizes the previous agreement between the han, temple, and the palace under the previous empress.”
Shining Armor rolled up all three scrolls and dropped them at Gin’s hooves.
“This was all done by bureaucrats without higher knowledge or approval and can easily be overruled.”
“May I remind you of the laws of this country that anyone can bring a suit of grievances against the palace? Any lawyer can tell you, you will have no case before a judge who would throw out your claim on its face. Of course, it is well within the rights of the palace to replace all judges and prosecutors and even launch investigations to disbar lawyers for any whim. You know, like when Sombra publicly executed the previous appellate and supreme judges and the leaders of the Imperial Bureau of Investigation.
“And who would you replace them with? The current ones are all survivors your government elevated after Sombra’s defeat. You would need to bring in more Equestrians, wouldn’t you? Who know nothing of our laws and customs. And judging from all the incidents the nation has been very publicly having with immigrants, tourists, and even those that came with you and your wife, how will that look?” He shook his head and tutted him like a child, “And you had such a good run of public opinion after you expelled the Magic Council.”
“Your majesty,” Vermarine Quartz whispered. “He is absolutely right on that.”
“Do you know what else you’ve forgotten today, that has seriously tarnished your image? That this country has what’s called a ‘free press’ that legally cannot be interfered with by the government. I know, a completely foreign concept to your Nanban-uma minds. Your little stunt of trying to shut down the interviews and arresting Tao did not go over well. Newspapers may be as slow as a pegasis can fly out here, but the communication boxes are instantaneous. Your and your fellow Equestrians’ freakouts were broadcasted live to the entire empire, and you’re being torn apart as we speak on every frequency. It’s how I knew you were coming and got everything ready.
“Now going forward, this is what is going to happen. First, Tao will be unpinned and will go unpunished.” He looked at Tao, “We already have a guest room prepared for you in the castle until the usurpers finish having their hissy fits and calf tantrums. Second…”
The daimyo paused, then glanced down. He smirked and rocked his hips.
The cow audibly gagged and turned her head.
She was immediately kicked down the steps. She landed with the sickening crack and almost rolled into the fire.
“How dare you try and spit it out!” he stood and stomped down.
He put his hoof on her and pulled on her right arm…
Which came completely off.
“A prosthetic?” Shining Armor gasped.
The daimyo began screaming in Neighponese, using many words the translation spell had no substitutes for, as he began wailing on her with the broken wooden arm. Its sharp, shattered end tore into the fabric of her clothes and habit. He also began kicking and stomping on her.
“Is he going to kill her?” Flash said.
“No,” Mutaito said, daring to look backwards. “He won’t give her the dignity of such an honorable death. She must die in a very specific way to save himself from disrespect.”
They looked around and saw everyone happily watching, many of the officials laughing unprompted. Even the cows, normally frozen in place in the back, dared to smile.
“Everypony is enjoying this?” an equestrian guard asked. “I think Sombra wore off on you bastards.”
Flash Sentry smashed his head into the ground with his hoof, “Shut it.”
Shining Armor watched silently, noting the daimyo was making a particular effort to stomp and jump on her back.
“She has needles, maybe even nails in her back…” he concluded. He narrowed his eyes. “Inflicting permanent filament damage is outlawed under the Geneva Conventions.”
While he was savagely beating her, an aide came up and whispered to Gin.
“My lord. My lord, the Rén is ready to be brought in.” Gin said
He stopped beating her, turned slowly, and glared at him.
Gin yipped in fear and backed away.
He tossed the broken arm behind the trellis to the shouts of whoever was back there.
“Kneel at my hooves, whore!”
The princess put the back of her hand to her mouth and laughed as the daimyo sat back down.
The servant knelt with her back straight and head bowed to the side of the bottom of the steps to the dais.
“Bring him in,” he ordered.
Goku was led in.
He was without his shirt, bound with cloth wraps and a leather harness across his bleeding back. He had thick shackles on his wrists and a metal collar on his neck with a long chain being held by a unicorn in armor, their curved back horn showing their Eastern ancestry.
“That’s not Chichi,” was the first thing out of Goku’s mouth after he entered the room. “Wait. Yajirobe? Why are you sitting there? What’s going on?”
“That’s Yajirobe-dono, Rén!” Gin shouted.
“Silence!” Yajirobe-dono shouted. The daimyo leaned back in his chair again. “Bring him forward.”
Goku walked forward, leaving the pony with his chain playing catch-up.
Goku kept a neutral face as he walked forward, his eyes glancing up occasionally at the decorations above the throne.
Goku stopped next to the others.
Shining Armor couldn’t put his hoof on it, but something about Goku was making the hair on the back of his neck stand up.
“Don’t stop there, come forward,” Yajirobe-dono said again.
Goku walked forward again.
“Stop there.”
Goku stopped.
“So, I’ve been told you said that fossil of an old bull is still alive on the other side of the mirror and you serve him? So tell me, how do you know the other me?”
“I don’t ‘serve’ Gyumao-dono. My grandfather and him grew up together. They were like brothers. My house and property were a wedding gift from him. That's why I live in his territory.” He smiled, “Though it does border what I already owned from Grandpa Gohan. He basically gave me everything between his house and grandpa’s house.”
“I see…” Yajirobe-dono said, not happy with the answer. “And where did your clan hail from?”
“Mount Paozu.”
“What part of Mount Paozu?”
“No,” Goku said confused. “I own Mount Paozu. The entire mountain and the surrounding forest. With my wedding gift, I own everything from the daimyo’s royal forest northeast of Mount Frypan to Keilin Village.”
“That’s larger than the Crystal Empire!” Tao shouted before covering his mouth and shoving his forehead to the ground. “Forgive my outburst!”
“I see he favors you a great deal,” he said, his frown deepening. “Will you inherit instead of his worthless daughter?”
Goku glared at him, “Chichi is not worthless. And no. Everything will go to her then one of her sons. Gods, the idea of all that paperwork makes my head hurt.”
“So she’s a whore who had children out of wedlock? Figures.”
Goku started to tremble. “Chichi has been happily married for a really long time to a husband who adores her and has two beautiful sons,” he said harshly. “The oldest is a newlywed and they will probably be grandparents in the next few years.” Goku gives a fake smile. “Which is really weird to think about,” he says nervously. “I mean, grandparents are supposed to be old people, right?”
“How old is the old tyrant and his young cow across the mirror?” Yajirobe-dono asked, surprised.
“Gyumao-dono is in his 80s and Chichi and her husband are in their 50s.”
“Then we are imperfect copies of each other…” he leaned back comfortably. “Our world’s cow is still well within her breeding years.”
Goku looked above the throne. He formed his fists and his shackles started to rattle. “Yeah,” he looked back down at him. “Gyumao-dono’s beard did not start to turn gray like that until around my son’s tenth birthday. So you guys are all like… 20 years younger, huh?”
Yajirobe-dono started to laugh. “No… not twenty… by the Kamis. I can’t believe any version of that wench married at a respectable age!” He then tapped a blue crystal on his right armrest.
The floor under Goku and his shackles glowed blue. “Woah!” Goku shouted as his hands were pulled to the floor.
Everyone blinked at Goku’s surprising flexibility.
“So…” Goku bent his head to the side trying to see while bent in half. “If you wanted me to kneel, you could have just asked.”
“Yes… kneel…”
Goku bent his knees and plopped down.
“Better?” Goku grinned.
“Yes… Better.”
Goku bowed his head and started to chuckle. “You know… King Kai REALLY warned me about being diplomatic and me just being my normal nice self wasn’t the same thing…. but I can’t take this anymore…” He looked back up, face full of rage. “Where is CHICHI?! She is your WIFE! Just because you did not marry out of love does not excuse you from your responsibilities as a husband! How dare you! How dare you parade yourself around with another woman! That should be Chichi next to you! Not that zeni store geisha!”
“What did you just call me?!”
Yajirobe-dono shushed her again.
“So,” he leaned forward, “You are pretty convinced this is not the princess with me. Why is that?”
“While talking with the monks, I heard that this Chichi can ride the kinto’un just like my Chichi. That means that they have the same personality.” He glared at the cow, “And the sacred beings would never allow someone as vain as whoever she is within a thousand kilometers of them.”
Yajirobe-dono learned back smugly. “A man rules his harem, and a cow’s position varies depending on how much effort she puts in and her husband’s whims. And right now, I like this one.” He looked at her. “Let me see your ear tag.”
She bent over and he grabbed a piece of wood that had been hidden behind the large mass of earrings and hair pins.
“Number 59.” He waved his hand. “Go back to looking pretty.”
She sat up and retook her pose draped over him.
“You are one dangerous male. Loyalty by oath and loyalty to the land is one thing. But your loyalty is emotional. And if your grandfather was like his brother, that makes you his nephew. Maybe that’s why he allowed an unrelated male around his daughter. Her husband must be very tolerant of you as well; you clearly have strong emotions towards her as you’ve dropped the proper honorifics. And you dare lecture me on loyalty to a wife?” He waved the cow off, then tapped a red gem on his throne and the center strip of the fire trench went out.
“If you treat both individuals from either side of the mirror as the same being, then so shall I. I’m going to love adding you to my wall, emissary,” he said, standing and drawing his katana. “Right next to the demon you so love.”
Mutaito pushed Kame’s head down when he went to shout.
“We need to stop this,” a guard whispered to Shining Armor.
“If Goku and Mutaito aren’t panicking, there’s no reason to panic yet,” Flash Sentry interrupted. “Now stay in formation. The prince’s safety is all that matters here.”
“He’s right,” Vermarine Quartz whispered. “Besides, you saw a simple foot soldier cut through a magic shield. How do you expect us to intervene in the first place? Even if everyone else here dies, all that matters is getting Shining Armor out of here alive. Stop being a bleeding heart, Equestrian.”
As Yajirobe-dono continued to brag as he walked down, Goku got a good look at the back of the concubine at the bottom of the stairs.
“Chichi…” he said softly. Goku closed his eyes. “Hey kasan, what’s wrong?” he muttered.
Yajirobe-dono put his katana in front of Goku’s face. “Are you even listening to me?”
Goku suddenly opened his eyes and leapt forward. He broke his blue shackles and dragged the samurai holding his neck collar chain across the floor, knocking Yajirobe-dono off his feet.
Goku ran up to the kneeling cow and grabbed the back of her shirt.
And tore it off.
Across her back was a lattice of iron and leather that looked to be strapped across her entire body. He ripped the leather and pulled it off.
Suddenly the cow made the first sound she had made the whole time and began pulling at her head with her only hand. She pulled her head covering off and began grasping at all the needles riddling her neck and head.
Goku threw the harness across the room and helped her by pulling the part of it that was still strapped to her arm off. Her fingers stopped flailing wildly and she was able to begin to grasp the needles and pull them out.
Shining Armor got a look at the harness and the bloody scars on her back.
“Those aren’t needles. They’re knives!”
The samurai charged at Goku, who tossed them back on their butts with a wave of ki but did not send them flying.
The light, gaudy cow on the other hand went flying and hit the wall, knocking both the ax and the mounted head down. She ran away.
Yajirobe-dono stood up. “Seems you still have some access to some ki despite the bleeding nails across your back. This will make my defeat of you even more legendary.” He raised his katana. “Take your stance, Rén.”
Goku sighed and stood sideways.
“You’re not lifting your arms?” he asked.
“I currently have nails in my back,” Goku shot back.
Yajirobe-dono leapt forward.
Goku spun around and punched him in the face as he appeared behind him, sending him and his sword sprawling across the floor.
Goku revealed the wakizashi in his other hand and snapped it, wooden sheath and all with his hands. Then he picked up the katana, snapped it in half, and tossed it away.
“How?!” Yajirobe-dono crawled backwards on his back.
“My Yajirobe is famous as Yajirobe the Coward. If he’s going to strike, it will always be from a blind spot and never head on. And also…”
Goku paused, then appeared next to him and stomped on both his legs with a satisfying crunch.
“…you really need to work on your after-image technique.”
Shining Armor and his guards looked between the two Gokus until the first vanished like a ghost.
“And what the buck was that?!” Flash shouted. His eye twitched.
“After image. Makes a copy of you then you move out of the way,” Goku said, stepping over Yajirobe-dono and walking over to Chichi-hime, who was working on getting the second bracer off her left leg with her teeth and hand.
He knelt down and undid the wraps and buckles. “You did a good job getting your other leg free so quickly,” he said gently. He grabbed it and the one she already took off and tossed it away. Then he took the cut curtain cloth and put it over Chichi-hime’s naked body. He lifted her bridal style, “Let’s get you to a hospital.”
Chichi-hime hit his shoulder repeatedly.
“What?”
She tapped his forehead.
He closed his eyes. “Ok, what is it?”
“WHAT?!” he shouted, opening them. He looked between her and Yajirobe-dono several times. “No! You can’t! Vengeance doesn’t solve anything!”
Yajirobe-dono started to laugh. “Did she just ask you to let her kill me? She can’t. She’s wasted away so much she can barely walk! And she thinks she can lift anything? Her hand can’t even close properly! It will just fall through her fingers. BULLS!”
Gin suddenly returned to the room. No one noticed he was gone.
Then the rice paper walls exploded as the room filled with samurai.
“There are over a thousand warriors in this castle loyal to me! The daimyo! One word and everyone dies! This room! The dungeons! The town! The city! Oh yes, my beloved has my seal with its communication stone. One word and everyone who came with me into the empire will attack everyone who stands in my way!”
“My city guards will stop it!” Shining Armor shouted.
“With what?!” He rolled over to look at Shining Armor. “Magic is useless against ki! Even your precious Crystal Heart failed in front of the whole empire! No! In front of all magic kinds! Monks! Kill Son Goku and the princess for attempted murder of her husband! Bulls! Take the Nanban-umas!”
The samurai moved.
Mutaito sighed. “Everyone, surround Son-san.”
The monks hesitatingly moved.
“Oh come on guys,” Goku stepped back.
“But leave the prince as intact as possible! I need him to sign the treaty naming me shogun before I add his head to my wall as well!”
“Sorry, Son Goku,” Lord Mutaito approached Goku on his hind legs, “But death tis the only way a daimyo’s orders end in this han. Monks, hold till my signal.”
The guards circled around Shining Armor.
He looked around, then cast a shield that expanded through the room. It passed through the samurai with barely a tickle. They started to laugh and walked closer.
“I think you need to try another spell,” Flash Sentry said.
“It’s a dampening spell! We can’t let them give a signal to start a massacre in the city! Ponies, you are the finest this land has to offer. Even if magic fails us, we still have our hooves! And if that fails, our teeth! Protect the empire!”
“Oh ho ho, we still have our teeth?” Yajirobe-dono mocked, laughing. “You think you’re all bloody meat-eaters?! Are you trying to assassinate me with laughter?!”
Tao suddenly attacked Goku, aides having unwrapped and pulled out his needles. Goku tossed Chichi-hime behind him.
“Stay behind me!” he shouted as he parried a hoof.
Lightning shot through his body. He screamed.
“Not only are you nailed, but now you have your precious metal putting it directly into your ki channels! You’re helple—”
Goku kicked him through the ceiling. “Sorry bud…” he said, looking up into the hole.
Goku looked around the room. The samurai and the ponies were fighting katana to hoof. That one crystal unicorn Goku couldn’t remember his name, something Quarts, after a magic blast did nothing to the armor, literally pulled the tatami mats from under them allowing the others to jump them and pound them into the floor. The three other unicorns followed his lead, pulling rugs and throwing anything they could grab at them. Samurai cut down the partition walls and the mats now being thrown at them, rolled up or otherwise while being bucked in the chest and back.
“My leg!” one samurai shouted as the aides and advisors ran screaming.
The cows however did not move from their spots even as the room disintegrated around them.
The samurai realized this and began grabbing them and throwing them between them and the ponies.
The samurai began to overwhelm Shining Armor and his guards.
“Hold thy position,” Lord Mutaito shouted again over the noise of the battle behind him. He tilted his head. “Well?” he said, frustrated, nodding his head behind him. “Art thou just going to stand there, emissary?”
“Huh?” Goku dropped his hands, slightly confused.
Mutaito’s face twisted into rage.
Goku jumped back scared. “Ah! Scary wife face.”
He began tapping his front hoof impatiently.
Goku awkwardly pointed at the fight behind them.
Mutaito tilted his head in the opposite direction while continuing to glare at him.
Goku put his hands up in prayer. “Ok. Ok. I get it. Just put away the Chichi face.” Goku awkwardly fast tiptoes past them.
A samurai went flying through the air, tipping over the throne and continuing through the wall.
He sighed. “Monks, hold…” he said again.
“Traitors?!” Yajirobe-dono shouted. “Wait, how are you doing that? No! Stop!”
“Hold,” Mutaito said again.
Behind them, the samurai were all unconscious while the ponies caught their breaths. “Goku! Stop any other killings in the castle!” Shining Armor shouted.
“On it!” Goku suddenly vanished in a small gust of wind.
Shining Armor looked around. “Stop! What are you doing?! Stop her!”
One unicorn tried to grab her with his magic while Vermarine Quartz did not even bother and grabbed debris to throw.
Mutaito spun around. A glowing wall formed blocking both attempts.
“Monks, hold,” he said again.
This time the monks turned around.
The ki wall became so thick it became almost opaque. Shining and the guards had to shield their eyes from the brightness as Yajirobe-dono started to scream.
~~***~~
“I’m back!” Goku said coming back into the room several minutes later. He had the gaudy cow unconscious in his arms. “Sorry I had to knock her out. I didn’t know which thingy was the phone— What the hell?!” he dropped her and ran over to Chichi-hime crying on her knees on the floor next to her father’s ax.
And the mangled mess of flesh and yellow and black striped cloth.
“I said not to kill him?!” he shouted.
“While I respect you as an emissary,” Mutaito turned to him, “you are naïve.”
“I’ve killed thousands of people! This was completely unnecessary!” Then he spotted one of the huddled cows lift one of the samurai’s dropped swords.
Goku ran and snatched it before she killed herself. “What are you doing?!”
“We’re all concubines…” another stuttered. “We are supposed to die with our lord.”
“Yes, don’t stab yourselves,” Mutaito scolded. “Wait to be strangled with silk like you’re supposed to.”
“What? No!” Goku shouted. “No one else is dying today!”
“Give us back our honor!” another shouted. “We have to die! Please let us die!”
Some of the cows began to cry and beg. Others stood and shouted. One grabbed a sword and swung at Goku, who caught the blade between his fingers.
He sighed, then gently knocked her out.
While to everyone else it looked like Goku did not move, the rest of the cows fainted.
He sighed, “Ok that’s taken care of for now…” Goku turned around. “Prince, the dungeons are full of people with blades in them like Chichi. We need doctors. Lots of them. Some are really bad.” He started to whimper, “And can someone please gently get these out of me… I don’t have to be cool anymore, please get them out.” He started to shout and went into another panic. “Get them out! Get the needles out of me! Get them out! Get them Out! Get them out!”
“Alright, calm down, Son Goku. Seigo!” Mutaito ordered.
“Yes, my lord.” The minotaur walked over and began undoing his wrappings and harnesses.
“They really did almost everything to you, didn’t they?” he said, pulling the nails and needles out. “And you still moved like the wind. Rén are truly terrifying.”
“Yeah… let’s just stick with that story…” Goku whimpered.
Shining Armor grabbed the cut curtain and wrapped it around Chichi-hime. “I believe by the laws of this land, you have reclaimed your throne, daimyo. Let’s announce the good news to the castle.”
“Don’t!” Mutaito shouted. “If you care about her, don’t!”
“Why?”
“Because a female cannot inherit property and titles. Declaring her the daimyo will only cause rebellion in the entire populace and every male in the han and the free district will come after her again. In her state, even a prepubescent colt could take her and become husband and daimyo.”
A crystal guard spoke up. “And remember, her father joined Sombra. Everypony in the empire knows it. Reinstating her family will not go well.”
Shining Armor sighed, “Then what do you recommend?”
“Announce you killed him and take the throne,” Mutaito said
“What?! I can’t do that!”
“Then have one of your single guards take the credit and her as his wife. You can adopt a teenage son from one of the advisors as heir.”
“I’m not going to do that either!”
“Then how do you plan to protect her?! Lock her up in your palace? Even prisoners in the dungeons have water given to them. What’s to stop something else being given to the Demon Emperor’s daughter?”
“I have faith in my ponies.”
“You have faith in Equestrians. This is the Empire.”
“He’s right,” a crystal guard said. “You’ve had a thousand years of peace and happiness while we’ve had a thousand years of darkness and fear. I protected you as my duty. If it was only to protect her, I would have refused. And so would thousands of others.”
Shining Armor faced him. “Would you participate in her murder?”
He paused. “I will give my resignation once we return you safely to the palace.”
Goku raised his hand. “Guys, stop. Don’t do this…”
Mutaito turned around. “Then what do you recommend, emissary?”
Goku sighed, “Well…” he scratched the back of his head. “He did say in front of everyone that it did not matter if it was mine or your version of the person as long as it was the same guy, right?”
“You would bring one of the Ox family heirs over here?” Mutaito said, but he could not hide his smile. “I can tell you right now it will have to be her husband who comes over, even if it is only temporary until a bull is found to take the princess’s hand and the throne.”
“Just tell me, how did you figure it out? I know you know, now…”
The moment you said you were a Son of Mount Paozu back when we first met. This world is opposites, after all.”
“Did Grandpa not adopt any kids?”
“Gyumao-dono killed his rival, Son Gohan, before he fled and became a bandit in the mountains. Your reactions in the vehicle only confirmed it.”
Goku sighed, and everyone’s eyes followed him as he walked up the smashed-up dais.
“Kais, I HATE pulling rank,” he said, putting the throne back in place.
“You are actually the Ox-Hiko Goku-kun?!” Kame shouted in disbelief.
“Yeah… he’s my dad…” Goku said walking down. “I don’t remember, but apparently when I was little, Gyumao-dono asked me to marry kasan and my response was ‘Sure. What flavor is it?’ And that was taken as a yes.” He chuckled awkwardly, “I didn’t even know I was the groom until a few days before the wedding.”
“Then you did not marry for love like you screamed at the ya-robe-ee?” Flash asked.
“No,” Goku said picking up the ax, “Once the shock wore off, I was fucking excited. I would have skipped down the aisle if she wasn’t the one to walk towards me.”
Goku knelt in front of Chichi-hime, “And I am going to take care of you until we find someone I can walk you down the aisle to, ok?” he said as he grabbed the freshly severed head by its hair.
Goku walked slowly up the steps, the bloody ax as wide as him swung over his shoulder and the severed head still dripping. When he got to the top, he flipped the ax and drove the horns of the blades into the stone so it stood upright on his right and placed the head down below the armrest to his left. He turned around and sat.
“So,” he slapped the armrests with his palms. “Try and look big and scary for when we bring all the servants back in, right? Then the big ass ceremonial feast in a couple days?”
Shining Armor punched himself in the side of his head. “Celestia, what am I doing?! Someone! Start gathering their weapons! Someone else! Contact the palace! Say there was an attempt on my life but Goku saved me. We need reinforcements! And get the story to the press!” He pointed at Goku, “I want this image on the front of every newspaper and picture theater!”
Chichi-hime stood up and slowly and shakily walked up the steps. She tried to stand next to the throne, but fell.
“Chichi!” Goku hopped over the armrest and tried to help her up. “Hey, what’s wrong? …Your stomach?”
Goku unceremoniously flipped the curtain off.
“That’s not piss! … No! I know what tampons are. That’s not normal at all.” He picked her up, “Hey! We gotta get her to a hospital, now! Someone fly with me!”
“Flash!” Shining shouted.
“On it!” he galloped out of the room.
Goku followed.
Then Kame ran after them.
“Kame! Seigo, go after him!”
The minotaur ran after him.
~~***~~
Goku was sitting in the hallway, hunched over and tapping his foot rapidly.
“Umm, we can feel that through the floor,” Kame said.
“Yeah…” Flash said, “knowing you, that might be causing structural damage.”
“Oh, sorry…”
Goku’s thumbs started dualling like one was cursed by a wizard instead.
A doctor ran out of the room. “Get surgery ready! Now!”
Goku shot up straight.
“WHAT?!”
~~***~~
Goku was pacing so fast in the hallway, Flash was having trouble following him.
“Goku…”
“Let him be,” Seigo stopped him as the wind blew his hair back and forth. “It’s his mirrored wife.”
Suddenly somepony teleported in.
“I’m here!” Shining Armor shouted. He got in Flash’s face. “I was told she’s in surgery. What’s going on?”
“We don’t know,” he said. “She was rushed in after the first examination.”
Shining Armor’s mane began blowing back and forth for no reason.
“Goku is pacing?”
Flash nodded. “Goku is pacing.”
The elevator opened down the hall and a nurse and Lord Mutaito walked into the hallway. She pointed down the hall and he nodded and trotted over.
“Our new lord daimyo is pacing back and forth?”
“Yeah…” they all said at once.
“SON GOKU!!!!!”
Goku slid to a stop as everyone in the hallway who was not familiar with the sensation began looking around.
“WHY IS THERE A NEW SOUL IN THE AFTERLIFE SAYING YOU OVERTHREW HIM WITH THE HELP OF YOUR WIFE?!”
“King Kai, I…”
“My, Lord God Kai,” Mutaito stepped forward. “It tis my fault. When I realized the emissary was the Hiko of the Ox han, I manipulated the situation to avenge the murdered Gyumao-dono and rescue Chichi-hime. I have just been told the princess tis still in surgery.”
“Surgery? Let me… Oh holy realms, Shen Long if I didn’t have a halo, I’d summon you myself and give you a stern lecture. We will ALL talk about this later. I need to see if this soul even existed…”
The presence left. Leaving the hallway in dead silence.
“What the buck was that?!” someone finally shouted.
“Just a higher being shouting at his holy emissary,” Mutaito said loudly. “His Divinity has left.”
“What?!” several shouted.
The double doors opened and Chichi-hime was wheeled out.
Goku suddenly flashed in front of the bed. “Is she alright?!”
One of the doctors gently grabbed his arm with magic and pulled him aside so the bed could continue.
“The surgery was successful. She will just need to rest in post op then once she awakens, we will tell you.”
“Oh thank gods,” Goku fell to his knees.
Shining Armor strode up. “I want a full briefing on her injuries and the surgery,” he said. “She did kill the man who tried to assassinate me.”
The doctor’s ears fell. “I wasn’t told that was the circumstance… and in her condition?”
Shining Armor gestured down the hall, “Catch up with your patient. Once she is stable, bring whatever doctors need to come that will not jeopardize her care.”
“Yes!” the doctor choked out. He ran after them.
“Goku-kun, I mean Goku-dono…”
Goku suddenly appeared in front of Kame, lifted him up by his shoulders and looked him in the eyes.
“Goku-kun, please. San if you have to. This is why I hate pulling rank. People stop being friends when they know you’re technically above them. Call me anything else but -hiko, -dono, -sama, heck even call me a third-class clown or any other one of Vegeta’s greatest hits.” He began shaking him back and forth. “I’m just a wild mountain man who grew up in a small one room hut with my grandpa. I’m not above anybody. My first thought is to still find a tree for fuck’s sake.”
“Goku-san,” Mutaito interjected, “Before thou shake out what little brains my poor subordinate has, I think thou should put him down gently and back up. And speaking of trees, thou haven’t been to a toilet since this morning, have thee? Now that we all know the princess tis safe, this tis the perfect time to take thy break before she wakes up.”
“Oh…” he dropped him. “Ok…”
Mutaito trotted through the group to the desk at the intersection. “Excuse me, my friend needs to go to the stallion’s room. Can someone guide him?”
“Yes, of course,” the nurse came out from behind the desk. He came back over with Mutaito.
“This,” he gestured at Goku, “is my friend.”
“Alright, sir. If you would follow me, I will show you the little colt’s room.”
“Thank you…” Goku said lifelessly as he followed.
“Ok. Now that the emotion basket case is gone,” Shining Armor said. “What do you guys know, in detail?”
“Nothing more than we said before,” Flash said.
“No inkling of what the god said about checking if the soul existed or not when he checked out the surgery?”
“Nope…” Flash said.
Mutaito sighed. “I have been a monk since I was a small boy, and even I know what that means based on what we saw and heard at the castle.”
“Yes,” Saigo said. “I do too.”
“We don’t know anything about puncture needles,” Shining Armor glared. “Or the use of blades.”
“Do you not know what a tampon is?” Seigo asked. “You have a wife for kami sake.”
“Equines don’t bleed like that,” Mutaito said. He sighed. “I pity the immigrants to Equestria if such things are not sold in stores.”
“Would someone care to explain?”
“I believe a female nurse would be more appropriate,” Mutaito said. He trotted back up to the nurses’ station and whispered to one of the mares.
She blushed and looked back and forth between him and the group. Then she got up from behind the desk and came over.
“I was told you don’t know… what a tampon is or its use?”
“Yes. Son Goku said the word in relation to Princess Chichi’s bleeding leg.” Shining said.
“Well…” she continued awkwardly. “I think it’s best to find an empty room for this… conversation… Anyone who doesn’t know and wants to. Please follow me.”
Shining Armor, Flash Sentry, and most of the guards left.
“You’re not going, Quartz?” Kame asked.
“I had a minotaur roommate in college who constantly brought cows back. I know about your race’s mare’s… … headaches…”
B-But how do you know, Mutaito?” Vermarine Quartz shuddered out after a pause. “I’m sure they didn’t exist a thousand years ago.”
Mutaito sighed. “I am in charge of the budgets for both the monastery and the nunnery parts of the temple. Modern conveniences art quite expensive, even in bulk. But if the nuns prefer them, I will not contradict them.”
Chapter 34: Reflections
Previously, at the Neighponese-style castle…
All the harem cows, 117 of them, were gathered into the large hall the lead wife used to hold court in the harem palace. The walls were all ornate wooden lattice work and sheer curtains with eunuch hallways surrounding the central area on all sides.
The cows were all silent and obedient, huddled in the center.
“Keep a constant watch on these females. They are highly suicidal. No one goes in or out and absolutely no silk allowed of any kind,” Shining Armor ordered 20 of the newly arrived guards.
All Equestrians.
“Yes, sire!” they all shouted and saluted.
Shining Armor left to oversee the rest of the occupation of the castle.
“What’s sew-a-saddle?” one asked another.
“I don’t know, sounds contagious.”
“Alright, ponies.” The officer in charge said, “Normal prisoner round procedures. Patrol the area and physically check on them every fifteen minutes. Keep your distance and use your disinfection charms. Whatever condition this is, the prince warned us for a reason.”
~~***~~
Shining Armor walked to the central courtyard where the most severe individuals from the dungeon were being laid out on gurneys. There was almost no walking room between them.
“Captain,” Shining Armor walked up to the lead medic. “Report.”
“Two of the guards that were attacked by a freed prisoner and the prisoner in question have died. Interrogation of the guards and document search show he was convicted of burglary and murder. We are no longer undoing any needle restraints until we can confirm their identities.” He looked over the courtyard, “However, those that were punished with severance can no longer use this ki in any form. From what the specialists among the prisoners said, they are all the former officials and servants of the demon emperor and their families. The strategic damage to their filaments has almost completely nullified any healing spells we have on hand… we had begun emergency amputation of necrotic tissues, but nothing could stop the bleeding. We’ve stopped all operations accordingly. Eight deaths resulted.
“That the information gotten from the Eastern specialists is greatly helping with alleviating symptoms is the only good news I can offer,” he looked back at Shining Armor. “They said severance is only supposed to be used in serious cases, but not in the patterns used on them.” He leaned in and began to whisper, “They think they might be the ‘forbidden circles’ that are used for torture and execution, and at least one of the new puncture doctors is a black agent to one of the eastern emperors.”
Their heads separated and Shining Armor nodded. He trotted off.
~~***~~
He entered the training grounds, where the monks were overseeing the thousands of samurai, near naked, bound, and gagged.
As he looked around, he saw some new injuries among the prisoners.
“Any problems?” he walked up to Lord Mutaito.
“Just some strategic breakage. Everyone tis high and mighty until someone taketh an arrow to thine knee.”
“I need to talk to you, alone.”
He nodded and followed him to the side.
Shining Armor cast a dome around them. “Anti-sound spell. No one can hear us.”
“Very well,” Mutaito nodded, slightly tilting his head. “Continue, young stallion.”
“What can you tell me about the black agents from the empires and the forbidden circle needle techniques?”
“As an ambassador, nothing. As a stallion who watched a happy calf soar through the sky on the back of yellow clouds her entire youth, while Yajirobe tis Neighponese, the merchant caravan he came with art from Weigh, and I noticed large numbers of Formǎsa accents in the group. It tis a large island in between Neighpon, Weigh, and Wu and has traded hoof many times. It is a land of merchants and pirates. If you have coin, you are welcome no questions asked, even today.”
“You think Weigh is behind this coup?”
“I think an uneducated sloth was fed with dreams and got a big head,” he answered. “Attacking the royal family of Equestria after all the hard work to reestablish diplomatic ties?” He shook his head. “It makes no sense. But gaining control of the free districts within the satellite empire, that tis a goal worth pursuing.
“Thou did well not to call him shogun out of normal equestrian politeness. From what I’ve been told, even a thousand years later, the emperor tis still a puppet to the military’s supreme general. He rules Neighpon unquestioned. By calling him that, thou would have ceded all power to him and given pretense for that attack.”
“Even if I fell, my wife is still an alicorn. She would return with the full force of Equestria behind her.”
“Prince,” Mutaito said, pointing behind him.
Shining turned and saw a soldier running up. He dropped the bubble.
“Sire,” he saluted. “Your presence is requested. We’ve found a hidden armory behind a false wall.” He paused, “There’s something in there we have no idea what it is.”
Shining turned back to Lord Mutaito, “Would you come with me.”
~~***~~
They walked through the mess in the throne room into the back rooms. They came to a fancy bedroom and saw a stairway behind the open false stone wall.
“This looks completely real,” Shining Armor said, feeling the door.
“Analysis shows it is real. The stone is sliced unbelievably thin and is used as veneer. If a soldier had not tripped on a mat and face planted into the wall, we would have never found it.”
The group continued down; the way lit by magic crystals.
“This place stinks of kayaku,” Mutaito said as they reached the bottom of the steps and entered the large vaulted room.
They saw the soldiers milling about with poles made of wood, metal, and string.
“Ah, jus,” Mutaito said. “The Kohane traders first brought this kind to the islands. You have never seen one?”
“Never,” Shining Armor said, taking one in his magic. “This string is burnt? Some kind of candle wick?” He looked at Mutaito.
He nodded. “It’s used to set fire to the kayaku. It explodes in the pipe and shoots a ball out faster than an arrow.”
“These don’t have strings in them,” a soldier handed over another version.
Shining Armor moved a metal lever back and forth. “Looks like the ball is put in here then closed.”
“The ones with string were all thrown in a pile in the corner covered in dust,” the soldier said. “These were all lined up along the wall, in the racks, and in most of the wooden crates we opened. The other crates were full of these,” the unicorn floated over two pieces of yellow metal fitted together. “It would fit perfectly in the opening.”
Shining Armor examined it closely. “The tip is hollow,” he said, pulling it away from his eye.
“I have never seen a kind that did not use string,” Mutaito said. “These must be from the current age.”
“Who are the Kohane?” Shining Armor asked.
“I know no other word for their kind. It means the red feathers. They were unusually coated compared to the Shī Jiù from the mainland, but I’m sure they are considered as beautiful in the West as their Shī Jiù brethren in the East. `
“Western feathers… Do you mean the griffons? Birds in the front and felines in the back? Hybrids with ponies have pony rears.”
“Yes, that is a Shī Jiù,” he nodded.
Shining Armor turned to the soldiers. “Pack all this up and bring it to the palace. We’ll need evidence of griffons’ involvement in the coup, even if it is simple arms dealing to an idiot.”
~~***~~
Shining Armor walked out of the hidden room with Lord Mutaito. “Would you be willing to walk with me? Or did you think you are needed back with the monks.”
“If you need counsel navigating our ways, I will remain. But I have a favor to ask. Do you have an update on the princess?”
Shining Armor poofed a communication crystal.
“One would think relying on magic like that would be a weakness.”
“It’s an artifact spell. All I have to do is think hard enough and the item returns to me from my poofing chest.”
“Is that how unicorns do it?”
“No, it's military. It’s supposed to be used for emergency weapons, lock picks, stuff like that. It can be used by pegasi and earth ponies too. Does the empire not have something like that? It’s been surplus for decades now. Old spellcraft.”
“And what do you use it for?” he asked suspiciously.
“Emergency rations are a completely legitimate use of a poofing box. Also works on getting the crumbs out of the bed.”
Mutaito chuckled.
He spoke into the crystal, “This is Prince Shining Armor. Any reports from Lieutenant Flash Sentry on the status of Princess Chichi?”
“This is Rock Candy at the palace. High priority report. The family of Minister Gin was detained at the rail station trying to leave the empire. His father and brother are still at large. To the Prince’s question, no update. Let me make contact.”
“That sounds like something thou would need a crystal for all the time.”
“That’s Flash’s job.”
“Who tis not with thee.”
“Verm is taking reports.”
“Who tis also not with thee.”
“All the officers share where I am, how else do they keep finding me in random places.”
“Thou should not be in random places to begin with.”
“I’m not literally in random places, you know.”
“I would hope not.”
“Sire. Word from Lieutenant Flash Sentry. The Princess was rushed into emergency surgery over an hour ago. He has no other information.”
“What?! Why?”
“He said he has no other information. She was rushed into emergency surgery a couple minutes after the admission exam began.”
“That sounds life threatening.”
“Thou’s face tis panicked. If thou teleports, take me with thee.”
Shining Armor lit his horn.
“Wait!” a guard shouted as he ran up, but they disappeared.
He got his call stone out. “Shining Armor just teleported away with Lord Mutaito. Anyone know where?”
“He was just asking about an update on the minotaur princess at the hospital,” a voice said.
“So, he just probably teleported back to the capital? Who’s in charge now?”
“Probably Vermarine Quartz,” another voice said uncertainly.
~~***~~
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN OVER HALF OF THEM ARE DEAD?!”
“Twenty-nine of the cows killed the other eighty-eight,” the pony said. “Strangled from behind with their leg coverings. There… There wasn’t a sound. No signs of struggle or resistance. We don’t know how so few overcame so many.”
“Didn’t the prince tell you they were suicidal?!” Vermarine Quartz shouted.
“Yes. So, we all took standard disinfection protocols with contagious diseases.”
Vermarine Quartz paused as his brain made a screeching noise.
“Wait… Don’t tell me all of you have no idea what suicidal means?” He looked at the others in the room. “Hey! Other Equestrians! Do you know what suicidal means.”
They all shook their heads or answered no.
He stomped his hooves on the table and stood up. “You’re all idiots! Suicidal means somepony wants to die so bad they would kill themselves!”
“What?!” all the Equestrians in the room scream, with some adding “That’s not possible” or similar phrases.
“But that’s not what happened! They were murdered!”
“Apparently, it’s tradition here that when a leader dies, all his wives are to be strangled to death with a silk cord. They helped each other!”
“What?!”
“The harem was all gathered into the largest room we had with open walls to watch them from all angles. WHAT WERE THE TWENTY OF YOU DOING, SOLDIER?!”
“Standard prisoner patrol. Checks every fifteen minutes.”
“So you all left them alone long enough for all of them to kill half then half again?! Where are they all now?!”
“Tied and confined in individual rooms with all dangerous objects removed.”
“I highly doubt that,” Vermarine Quartz walked around the desk. “Azurite! Kyanite! Come with me. We’ll grab more as we go.”
~~***~~
The Equestrian soldier looked pissed as he entered the harem palace with Vermarine Quartz and the thirty crystal pony soldiers he picked up on the way there.
He led them to the closest of the hallways.
Vermarine Quartz saw only a handful of guards in the hallway.
“Where’s the prince?” one asked as they all gathered.
“Left back to the city for urgent business,” Vermarine Quartz said. “I’m in charge. You’re all being relieved of guard duty.” He looked behind him. “Stallions. Begin checking the rooms.”
“There have been no intruders or resistance from the prisoners,” one of the equestrians said indignantly. “It’s been perfectly quiet.”
Vermarine Quartz’s eyes widened. “Check the rooms now! Now!”
~~***~~
“How many are left?”
“Sixteen. We successfully revived seven, the others were stopped mid attempt.”
“Report.”
“The equestrians tied their arms in the front instead of properly restraining them. Multiple said they did not understand why we made that distinction. The cows had full use of their hands. Thirteen were dead, hung from the wooden beams with their bed sheets. Revived seven who were hanging. They are being chain teleported to the city instead of local care for their safety. The others were in various stages of the same method when we stormed in.”
“Get the healthy survivors to the palace dungeons in one of the troop transports. And tie their arms behind their backs this time.”
“We’re not as poorly trained as our colleagues from the south.”
~~***~~
At the hospital…
Shining Armor, his guards, the monks, and Goku were in a room with three doctors.
“Wait. Wait. What? Please repeat that again,” Shining Armor held up a hoof.
“I said, we removed the rotting fetus,” the doctor repeated again. He continued, “Along with a large amount of necrotic tissue in her pelvis. While we can replace simple things like an artificial bladder, she’s permanently lost two-thirds of her digestive track, and of course, all her reproductive abilities. While not necrotic, she does have kidney damage that will leave her with reduced function. Any recovery of lost tissue will have to be determined by a urinary tract specialist.”
He then looked at the doctor to his right.
“As for the damage discovered to her mana filaments,” she started. “In all my years of specialty, I’ve never seen anything like it. It is definitely deliberate, and it took a lot of work to figure out what its effects would be. But some older damage that did not fully scar shut the channels would have redirected the magic flow in a way to flood the pelvis with magic that would mimic what happens when pony mares go into their yearly estrus. But then the permanent destruction of other filaments, completely cut off all magic from the lower abdomen. There are also more partial blockages to the pelvic muscles. It would cause the muscles to contract. There were also small blood spots that matched the same pin holes seen around her head. These added interruptions would have caused further constriction, preventing the passage of the corpse and leaving it to rot in her stomach.”
“They tried to force a pregnancy, only to kill it? Why?”
“To save his honor and legitimize his claim to the throne,” Lord Mutaito looked at Shining Armor. “As I said, she has to die a very certain way. Dying while pregnant not only proves he did his duty as a husband, but also does not burden him with an unwanted heir after her death. If she did not die from natural causes, he would lose respect.”
“There is nothing natural about this!” the doctor shouted.
“And only a husband can see a woman’s naked body. Not even a doctor is supposed to and accusing one of seeing a married woman in such a state is an easy way to get disowned and banished by their clan, then found dead in an alley. And it’s not like anyone in the harem would tattle. With her gone, any one of them could become head wife and have his heir.” He looked back at Shining Armor, “And I can guarantee the guard who will resign today is not the only one who cares absolutely nothing at the very best of circumstances.”
“Wait…” the third doctor’s eyes narrowed. “Who did we just save? Her name was never recorded.”
“You just saved Chichi-hime.”
All three doctors stood up.
“You just had us save one of Sombra’s servants?!” one shouted.
“I’ll start the papers to throw her out.” The mare moved to leave the room.
Goku stood up. “You will not!”
There was a gust of wind in the room. A huge pressure began to bear down on all of them. The floor tiles shattered and couldn’t decide between floating and being ground into dust.
“If anything happens to her, I’ll make sure everyone here regrets it!”
Suddenly the floor gave way and everyone fell down a story.
Luckily, it was a storage room for linens.
“Everyone ok?” Shining Armor coughed in the dust.
“For now,” Goku hissed.
Everyone looked up and saw him still floating where the floor used to be.
Goku removed his goggles. His eyes glowed ominously.
“GOKU! I TOLD YOU TO KEEP YOUR POWER DOWN!” King Kai’s familiar voice cut through everyone’s minds.
Goku’s eyes returned to black and he put the goggles back on.
Shining Armor saw Lord Mutaito’s ears pinned back. If he was visibly scared, what just happened was a serious threat he could not counter.
~~***~~
After being rescued from the fallen room, the staff gave them a wide berth. Shining Armor casted a hearing enhancement spell on everyone. It did not have any effect on Goku but that was expected.
So far in the last forty-five minutes, there was an attempt to overdose the princess on her post-surgery pain meds. Then to remove power from all her supporting equipment and monitors. Then to stop all her medications, pain, antibiotic, or otherwise to let her suffer as much as possible.
It took the next attempt where the staff had unlocked the window and began bullying her to jump for the staff to figure out about the hearing spell.
It is also how the prince and his companions discovered she had woken up and not been told.
Then the new cows arrived with more crystal guards.
“ARE YOU SERIOUS?!”
“Yes, sire. All of them said they did not know what suicidal meant and assumed it was a disease.”
“We are taught not to let ourselves be taken alive in a war against dark magic or griffons in basic! What the buck?!” Flash fumed.
“Vermarine Quartz did an informal interview with equestrian guards he ran into on his way to the harem palace. None knew what it meant, several had mental breakdowns and needed medical intervention just being told the definition. Some doctors once told what happened needed intervention as well.”
“I am rarely disappointed,” Goku said. “I will say I’m very disappointed in you guys.”
“Please don’t judge all of us by their standard,” Shining Armor said. “I am even more disappointed than you as a ruler and commanding officer.” He poofed his stone. “I am going to have a long talk with the palace guards. It will take an hour for the transport to get there. They need to be thoroughly briefed.” He trotted down the hall, searching the glass doors. He entered an empty room and slid the door shut behind him.
“Is there a flower store nearby?” Goku asked.
“There’s one on the ground floor,” a soldier said.
“I’ll take you, Goku, and pay,” Flash said. “Come with me.”
He led Goku towards the elevators.
“I’m going to visit the princess,” Lord Mutaito said standing up.
~~***~~
Mutaito walked into the room. There was a mare crystal unicorn guard in the room.
“May I spend some time alone with the princess?” he asked. “Thou know I am not a threat.”
She nodded, “I will be waiting at the door then.” She walked up and handed him a notebook and pencil. “Her vocal cords are still weak,” she said before exiting the room.
“(I see a baby ray of sunshine, sleeping on a cloud,)” Mutaito sing-songed in old Neighponese as he pulled up a chair.
He went to put his hoof on her hand, but she pulled away. He sighed and put the notebook and pencil in her lap. “(I’m sorry it took so long. But being the pawn to the powerful is the curse of every daughter of the nobility.)” He sat down. “(You are still loved at the temple. I’m sure several monks will volunteer to be your husband if no one appropriate is found.)”
She took the notebook in her hands and wrote in shaky characters.
“(Yes, we have become very aware of the attitude of the ponies’ views on what happened. They seem to forget it was his decision not to fight back that left this farmland in good enough shape to feed the empire after liberation. It will take another decade to purge enough dark magic from the soil for the rest of the farmland to reach sustainable levels. Otherwise, the empire would have been instantly absorbed into Equestria. But even crystal ponies are overly emotional, just not as severe as the southerners.)” He looked up, “(But you have been removed from the politics for so long. Let the stallions worry about these things. Thou hath nothing to worry about, especially with the emissary’s identity. Thou hath the full wrath of heaven as thy shield.)”
She wrote something again.
Mutaito read it. “(I do not know, baby ray. I do not know where your Son Goku is. He is an orphan made heir to the childless lord of Mount Paozu. But on this side of the mirror, your father began his criminal career by killing the stallion who became their Son patriarch in his youth. The forests are rife with monsters and bandits according to my modern counterparts at the embassy. Home only to those who do not want to be found. But please do not dwell on such things. The reflection in a mirror is reversed, not identical. Fate has no meaning, especially in marriage. While he does love her, it was just as arranged as any other marriage. Neither had any choice in the matter. No rational father would take the answer of ‘What flavor is it?’ as a confirmation unless it was already decided long beforehand.)”
She pressed her lips together and looked out the window.
Goku burst into the room, with two different bouquets of flowers, get well balloons, and a massive teddy bear.
“(Hey! Princess Chichi! I got stuff for ya!)”
He put the teddy down in a spare chair. “(Since Mutaito keeps saying we are opposites,)” he turned around and held out the bouquets. “(I got the flowers my Chichi loves and the ones she hates. Which you want?)”
Chichi-hime started to sneeze.
“(Yeah, the ones she hates makes her sneeze too,)” Goku put the good flowers on her blanket and stuck his head out the door. “Hey, nurse! Give these to someone who needs them, ok?”
After a few moments, Goku came back into the room. “(Ok, that’s taken care of. So, what kind of sweets do you like? I tried mentioning what my wife likes, but I guess they don’t exist here yet because not even the monks knew.)”
Chichi-hime turned her head.
“(You don’t want any?)” Goku tilted his head. “(Ok then, what do you want? …You want me to leave? … Do you have any friends you’d like to talk to instead? I can teleport using a ki technique. I can bring them right into the room.)”
Chichi glanced back at him.
“(Hakuchi? You have a pet kiji? Ooooh… no my family’s name is Nimbus. I was given him by my Master Roshi.)” Goku looked at Mutaito, “(Oh wow, I didn’t know you two had that type of relationship.)”
“(Emissary, let’s do this at a later time. I do not have a whistle and that bull snapped hers so she could not escape.)”
Goku smiled. (Oh, don’t worry about that. I just use my fingers.)”
Goku bounded over to the window and opened it.
“(Wait!)”
But Goku had already put his fingers in his mouth and blew.
Not long after, a cloud came to the window.
“(Hi! I’m Goku. I’m looking for one of you named Hakuchi, is he nearby?... Oh, I see. Can you send a message? … Oh, not me,)” Goku looked back in the room. “(It’s Princess Chichi. She’s his favorite.)”
The cloud moved to look through the window. Then rushed in the room squeezing past Goku. Goku stubbled backwards.
“(You could have asked,)” he said, straightening his shirt.
The kinto’un hovered over her bed, its front part bending as it looked her over.
Chichi raised her hand.
The kinto’un came close to her fingers, then dramatically recoiled. It turned its back.
Chichi started to gasp and shake.
~~***~~
Everyone on the entire floor heard it and stuck their heads out of doors and around corners.
“(SON GOKU! THOU’T AN IDIOT!)”
Those close enough saw Goku fly out of the room and crash through the opposite wall, also shattering the glass doors.
Shining Armor stuck his head around the corner and saw Goku climbing out of the hole with Lord Mutaito practically foaming at the mouth at him.
“What’s going on?!” Shining Armor ran up.
Goku and Mutaito looked at him.
Mutaito went back into the room.
Goku stomped past Shining Armor.
“Flash, after Goku!”
“Right!”
The two ran past each other.
Shining Armor ran into the room.
He saw Chichi-hime practically convulsing in bed with Mutaito trying to calm her down.
“I’ll get a doctor!” He turned around only to find Mutaito already behind him.
Shining Armor looked between the bed and the door as he spoke.
“And haft the nursing staff here do what, exactly?” Mutaito said angrily. “Huh? Huh? What exactly? What will they do?”
Shining Armor took a deep breath.
“Good,” Mutaito said. “Use thy head, for once.”
Shining Armor turned around as Chichi-hime still trembled and was making weird sounds.
“What do you need me to do?”
“I need thou to leave,” Mutaito ordered. “This tis what crying looks like with the voice paralyzed and the eyes blocked. Get out before she chokes on the foam forming in her throat.”
Mutaito forcefully shoved him out and slammed the door.
~~***~~
Flash followed Goku out an open window. He looked around, but did not see him. Then he heard a whistle.
Flash flew up to the two remaining stories to the roof and peeked over the edge.
He saw Goku start to scream at a cloud in another language his translator spell wasn’t picking up.
Why is he— wait, what’s a cloud doing inside the dome?!
He saw two other clouds suddenly fly down and join the first on either side.
Wait… are those some kind of living being?
Flash continued to watch what he concluded was definitely some kind of two-way conversation. Then the clouds flew off.
Goku turned around. He was definitely angry, but he also wiped his eyes as he was taking sharp breaths.
Flash lowered himself out of sight and hovered just below the railing.
Should I keep following him or report to Shining?
“I can feel your life force, Flash Sentry. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be inside in a minute.”
~~***~~
“He was having an argument with some kind of cloud creature?” Shining asked, confused.
“Kinto’un,” Seigo said. “Sacred beings of pure harmonics. Only mortals with pure hearts can even touch them. Everyone else phases through like ghosts.”
“Those were mentioned during the transport ride, correct?”
“Yeah,” Kame said. “Only Lord Mutaito and Princess Chichi were ever permitted to ride on their backs… They must have turned their backs on them… the princess at least…”
“Why?”
“Could your soul stay pure and unsullied after over a year of torture she suffered?” Seigo looked at Shining Armor like he was stupid.
“That’s not fair,” a guard said.
“The laws of the universe are not fair,” Kame said, shaking his head. “They could not choose to let her touch them any more than I can cast unicorn magic from my naked forehead. Not like kuro actually exist.”
“A kuro?”
“Kuro kinto’un,” Mutaito walked out. “A kinto’un that has fallen to darkness and corruption. As such the impure can ride them, if they live that long. All kinto’un are more like single thoughts than fully independent minds. Every one of them would feel it and know its location at all times. A kuro would be hunted and killed with more ferocity than the Great Six hunting a dark mage.”
“I see…” Shining Armor said. “How is the princess?”
“Calm enough she won’t choke. Her eyes became moist at the end, so her tears haft not fully withered yet.” He sighed. “At least she tis not in danger of her eyes leathering over from dryness.”
“Did the kinto’un really reject the princess?” Seigo asked.
Mutaito nodded his head solemnly.
The monks all lowered theirs.
“What’s the significance?” Shining asked.
“It means she has lost her guaranteed seat in heaven,” Mutaito said. “Although it does not automatically curse her to the hells.”
“Do those clouds have that kind of power?” Flash asked surprised.
“Absolutely.”
“And Goku was screaming at three of them?!”
“Don’t worry. It’s not going to hurt me in the slightest.”
Everyone turned and saw Goku walking out of a room.
“Thou art the only mortal who could say such,” Mutaito said.
Goku sat down. He looked exhausted. “I just finished talking to King Kai. He’s not happy. Not in the slightest. I’ll probably be contacted by the Supreme Kai once he finds out about this to hear it directly.”
“About what?” Shining Armor asked.
“The guardian of this planet is in a coma. Been so for thousands of years. Meaning this planet’s been careening through life like a car without a driver and a brick on the gas.”
“I don’t know what that means, but it sounds bad.”
“The Mother of the Skies could not intervene directly as a guardian, but she could bless mortals to do her will. She spread herself too thin with her final act. Sometimes if enough of her power gathers a fleeting spirit will appear. But such are only dreams of the dream.”
“And in Ponish?” a guard said rudely.
Lord Mutaito glared at him. Then sighed. “At the moment of creation, all the Forms were born, perfect and unchanging. The most powerful was Kaminaga who brought all others under her power, except one. As all things in perfect balance, there was an opposite. The Unmentionable went to war with Kaminaga and painfully wounded her. But as a Form, she could not die. So, she tore herself in two, and the one maddened by pure pain forwent her consciousness, transmuted herself into essence, and encapsulated the Unmentionable One turning to crystal. But now torn, imperfection came into existence. The other Forms went to save reality and sacrificed their own consciousness to give all they had to her, becoming the Great Jimba. Although the sacrifice stopped the bleeding, it left her weak. She fell into sleep. But from the imperfection she already bled out became the universe, and from the universe came the dream of Kaminaga: The Mother of the Skies, Nakagami. Nakagami fell into her own sleep after giving too much of herself to her chosen ones, the Jinguushi.”
“I have no idea what you just said…” Shining admitted.
“Huh…” Goku scratched his nose. “Sounds like Piccolo.”
“I’ll assume that’s not a flute,” Shining said.
“No, it’s a person. Or I guess some might call him a people? His kind can fuse and separate into separate beings. Piccolo was one person that turned into two. Then one of the halves fused with a separate person, then the two halves came back together, so one person made out of three.”
“That… just gives me a headache…” Flash said.
Goku looked at him. “Yeah, just do what I do and don’t think. Works great!”
Everyone made small sounds before whatever they wanted to say died in their throats. Several either pinched their noses or put their hoof between their eyes.
~~***~~
While Goku and the monks flew to the Far East district to eat native foods, Shining Armor and his guards were eating hayburgers and fries in the hospital cafeteria.
“Oh, this has been one hay of a day,” Shining Armor said. “I can’t wait till Cadence gets back.”
“She is going to love how we walked straight into an ambush…” Flash said before taking another bite.
“Surprised a letter hasn’t popped in my face yet,” Shining said in between bites, “With the Heart failing in front of Equestrian press this morning, it’s had to have hit the newspapers by now. I wonder what could be more important than THAT as a headline.”
“The dark mage could actually be real,” a guard said.
“Buck, I completely forgot about that.”
“You forgot the reason Princess Cadence left you alone and in charge?”
“I believe it,” Flash said.
Shining looked at Flash, “You’re not helping.”
“Oh, you want help? Ok,” Flash picked up a handful of fries. “Oh, little Shiny,” he circled them around, “Open wide for the choo choo.”
Shining shoved him off the chair with his magic.
Flash started to laugh. The others joined awkwardly.
Flash fixed his chair and sat back down. His laughing turned to a sigh. “This sucks.”
“Yeah…” everyone agreed.
~~***~~
“Thank you for your diligence, West Kai.”
He bowed. “Of course.” He looked over at the tea picnic. “Is that really one of them?”
The Supreme Kai turned around and looked at Elder Kai and the pony soul. “Yes. He was the first to cross over, so we intercepted him.” He looked back. “Go back to your duties.”
West Kai bowed and left.
The Supreme Kai looked at the large dolly cart stacked high with documents and sighed.
“Elder,” he pushed the cart up to the table. “The report from West Quadrant has arrived.”
Donut Joe kept looking up and up. “That’s a huge stack…”
“Don’t worry, young soul,” Elder Kai said standing, “We can learn through osmosis. There’s no need to read every single page.”
“That is an ability my wife would be jealous of.”
“Oh, I’m sure she would. I will be back.”
The two went a short distance away and he saw the two raise their hands and the stack begin to glow.
“This doesn’t make any sense…” the Supreme Kai said. “All souls living and dead are accounted for, just like all the others. When a universe is created, it has a fixed amount of souls. No more can be created. Where are they coming from? Earth’s dragon can bend the rules of the world but can’t do the impossible.”
“If any beings can find a loophole in reality, it’s the dragons…” Elder said. “This is why mortals shouldn’t be using those damn things,” he said frustrated. “The universe is as chaotic as it is without them adding more work to our payload. Trying to bring order to creation is already like herding cats.”
“What have you learned from our guest?”
“Nothing we did not learn from absorbing the wiki from the internet pad Bulma provided. Seems it’s on the verge of another conflict, but not one foreshadowed in any of the writings. Shen Long pulled information from somewhere else.”
“Please don’t tell me we’ll need to look into this ‘fan fiction’ content…”
“Let’s not jump the gun down that hole and look at all other options first. The only kind I like reading about is when all participants have two legs…”
~~***~~
The group had taken Goku to a restaurant. As plates and bowls stacked higher and higher, their wallets were regretting their life choices.
Goku took a break from swallowing everything in sight whole. “(What’s Chichi-hime’s favorite food here? Maybe we can bring it back for her?)”
“(Sweets will not solve losing your seat in heaven, Son Goku,)” Kame said.
“(Khen Rinpoche, you’ve barely eaten,)” Seigo pointed out.
“(Son Goku…) Mutaito started. “(Did you act with such confidence because you are an idiot, or would an Earth kinto’un accept the princess?)”
“(I wouldn’t have whistled otherwise,)” Goku said. “(Your kinto’un are so different. Maybe because they aren’t directly ruled over and have been making their own decisions for so long. Even if a golden kinto’un wouldn’t let her ride, a black cloud is always available.)”
Kame spit out his drink. “(A Kuro?!)”
The entire restaurant stopped and turned to look.
Mutaito raised his hoof and everyone went back to what they were doing.
“(Yeah, but Korin needs to personally gift one to a person while yellow ones are free to approach anyone they want.)”
“(I’m surprised kuro aren’t killed at birth,)” Seigo said.
“(I guess that’s the difference between having a ruler or not,)” Goku said. “(I’m surprised the guardian of this planet didn’t give the control of the kinto’un to anyone if she did so to the point of collapse with her other duties…)”
“(Only you would have the courage to question the wisdom of the Mother of the Skies,)” Kame shook his head.
“(Son Goku,)” Mutaito said suddenly. “(When you go to Canterlot to find your Prince Vegeta, would you visit the embassy shrine? There’s a monk named Pixiu I would like to talk to. He’s a very large Panda. Can’t mistake him for anyone else).”
“(Yeah, sure.)”
Mutaito pushed his chair away from the table. “(I will be right back.)” He walked over to the counter.
“(Hey can I get another?)” Goku asked the wait staff that came to collect the dishes as they started to stack on the floor, again.
The staff all froze. A waiter’s eye twitched. “(Of course, honored guest.)”
“(Thank you!)” Goku grinned.
Mutaito came back with two thin boxes wrapped with a handkerchief marked with the store’s seal. “(I believe it’s time I head back to the castle to check on things. Deliver these to the princess for me, Son Goku.)”
“(Wait! Leave your coin bag!)” Kame shouted as he walked away from the table.
~~***~~
“What do you mean, you won’t treat anyone else?!” Shining Armor shouted at the director of the hospital.
“When we questioned the cows, they said the injuries the princess has to her filaments is called severance and is done to the worst criminals so their bodies wither and rot alive. The hero that purged Sombra’s servants from power did it to all his followers. As an independent institution, we can refuse anypony for any reason.”
“You’re daring to defy my direct orders?”
“We are an independent institution. Besides, the only way to even begin to hope to treat such extensive injuries is a live filament transplant. There are hundreds of severed prisoners. How many thousands of good beings will you order for organ harvesting for a procedure with a 50/50 success rate even with a healthy individual, let alone the walking corpses the reports are describing. There is no saving these corrupted, evil ponies. As a doctor, all I can recommend is to inject them so they go quickly and painlessly. Not that you will find a single pony that will administer the medications in this empire. They deserve everything that has happened to them, and even if it takes them another two years to die, it is not enough.”
Shining Armor’s face twisted in anger. He turned to leave.
“Oh, before you go. A bit of advice. If you continue on this fool’s errand, I recommend you bring in another southerner to the palace—"
“As a royal food taster.”
Shining Armor slammed the door behind him.
“Did he just really threaten to kill the royal family?” Flash said. “Shining, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we can’t win this fight. We have a full rebellion on our hands.”
“We should just let them all die then?” he snapped back. “There’s children!”
“They won’t get any help here. Dome up.”
Shining Armor casted a sound barrier.
“Only chance would be taking them to Equestria,” Flash continued.
“We’ll need to commandeer an Equestrian train with a fully Equestrian crew. But those trains will take four days at their fastest, while one of ours would take less than a day.”
“We’ll need to do things ourselves,” Flash said. “Don’t allow any crystal ponies to know what we’re doing.”
“I’ll need to teleport them to the train myself,” Shining said looking down. “We can’t do it at the train station. We’ll need to park the train out in the fields and load them away from prying eyes.” He looked back up. “I’m going to teleport us back to the palace and get a royal decree written. If I’m seen at the station hunting for a train going south, everypony will know what we’re doing. You head there in foot soldier armor. Nothing to show your rank. You’re just another pony.”
Flash saluted.
Shining teleported.
~~***~~
Goku poked his head in, “(Hey Chichi-hime. Lord Mutaito gave me two boxes of wagashi for you. They are all shaped like cute little animals.)” He gave his goofy grin.
Chichi-hime looked at him, then looked away.
Goku sighed and walked in.
“(Just because a kinto’un denied you, doesn’t mean you’re going to burn.)” He put the boxes on the nightstand. “(Me and my kids are the only members of King Kai’s warriors that can ride a yellow kinto’un. And black clouds aren’t looked down on. They are personal gifts from the Lord of the Sky, Korin, and not to be dismissed. I’m surprised they are destroyed here. It’s the yin and yang. The karmic wheel seems out of balance here. The day everything is perfect, everyone dies. Trees stop fruiting, rice doesn’t go to seed. No animals are born. Life just… stops.)”
Chichi-hime made a gasping sound.
Goku spun around and raised his hands. “(Wait, don’t cry. Please. Lord Mutaito said you could choke.)”
Chichi-hime looked back at him.
Goku straightened up and dropped his arms to his sides.
He sighed, “(I don’t think things will be as easy as trying to find someone named Kakarot for you to marry…)”
Goku glanced around the room and grabbed a chair. It was short for him, causing his legs to splay out. But he was at least eye level now.
“(I don’t think there ever was a copy of me here,)” Goku said.
“(But the mirror is a reflection. There should be a copy of everyone here. Maybe he lived a thousand years ago. There must be a descendant of noble character somewhere in the peasantry.)”
“(That’s just it… I’m not human, what people here call a Rén. Just like there is this planet and Earth, there are thousands and thousands of other worlds. I’m a Saiyan, born on a planet called Vegeta. I was sent to Earth and adopted out as a baby after my parents died. This place is a copy of Earth and only a copy of Earth. I doubt there’s any copies of the other aliens or our kids if we can have them with Rén. Me and Prince Vegeta have kids with Rén women, but Namekians like Piccolo and Dende can’t.)”
Goku looked at the ground, “(I know everyone says I’m dumb, and I just go along and joke with it. But I do think. I think hard. I’ve been thinking about everyone I know that would have a twin here. Someone I would want my wife to marry if I was never around. But… I’ve affected everyone’s lives for the better. Oolong was a tyrant that constantly kidnapped women. Yamcha and Puar were thieves and highwaymen. Your family was, well, your family. Tien and Chiaotzu were assassins. Krillin was originally a monk who fled the temple for being bullied by the other students. I mean, look what happened to Yajirobe here without me around…)”
“(What is that filthy ronin like in your world?)”
“(Just a fat, easy-going, lazy, dude. He actually lives in Korin’s temple and helps a lot growing sacred plants that can’t grow on the ground. But he’s a very talented samurai. I wish people wouldn’t call him a coward. He’s been pivotal to winning so many battles, even if it’s using surprise attacks and sneaking up on people from behind. War… isn’t sparring or a duel. I’ve… had to learn that the hard way sometimes…)”
Goku got up from his chair, got on his knees and put his head on the ground. “(I’m going to do everything I can, princess. I know every single god, from lesser spirits like Earth’s Korin up to the Supreme Kai himself. I’ll do whatever it takes, even if it means resorting to dragon magic. I won’t rest until you’re better.)”
“(What do you mean ‘dragon magic’? Earth is not supposed to have magic.)”
“(Shen Long was a gift from the Namekians. There’s also the Namekians’ personal dragon Porunga. They have power even the Kais can’t match.)”
“(Power greater than the Kais? I don’t believe you.)”
Goku leaned up. “(Actually, it’s not unheard of. I’m actually stronger than him if I transform, so are a few others I know. The current Supreme Kai became one after his predecessor was murdered by a Majin.)” Goku smiled, “(In my experience, there is always someone stronger. That’s why I love traveling, even if someone isn’t technically physically stronger, they might know a move that will put me on my back. Would you like to hear about the time I spent on Yardrat? It took a year to learn how to teleport, and that is supposed to be one of the easiest things to learn.)” Goku’s smile became awkward, “(I’m not saying I gave up, just moved on to other things.)”
Chichi-hime looked away, “(I would keep the fact dragons are slaves to these Namekians to yourself. They are a proud and fearsome race and will go to war without a second thought.)”
“(Wha… Oh! They aren’t natural born dragons. They are statues brought to life. I’m probably the only non-Namekian to see their statues.)”
“(That makes it sound even worse.)”
Goku gave another awkward smile, “(Yeah, Prince Shining Armor said the same thing. That’s why I said ‘resort.’ I’m not going to make a wish to the Eternal Dragons against someone’s will.)”
Chichi-hime was quiet for a while.
“Chichi-hime?”
“(Can you…)” she began. “(Move the nightstand to the left side of my bed?)”
“(Oh sure,)” Goku stood, effortlessly picked it up and walked around the bed. “(Want me to open the lid on one of the boxes for you?)”
“(If you wish…)”
Goku put the table down, undid the napkin, then opened one of the boxes. He put it on her lap. “(Here you go.)” He then lifted the next box’s lid so it was just barely opened. “(Ok. Don’t eat them all at once.)”
“(I’ll be out in the hall if you need me,)” Goku began walking out of the room. “(Oh! I almost forgot,)” Goku reached into his pocket. He tossed a cylinder on the floor and in a puff of smoke, a box appeared.
“(What was that?)”
“(Dyno cap. Pure tech. No magic required.)” He pulled a small package from the box.
Goku unwrapped a small crystal bell and put it on the nightstand. “(Here. Since you can’t talk yet. I already told the guards I got you a bell, so they will be listening for it.)”
Chichi-hime watched him touch the box again and it turned back into a cylinder. “(Ok, now I will be out in the hallway if you need me,)” he said, stuffing it back in his pocket.
Goku walked out.
The guard then poked her head back in. “Princess, can you ring that bell so I know its sound?”
Chichi-hime picked it up and gave it a ring.
“That has a very pretty ring to it. Enjoy your bean candy.” She went back into the hall.
Chichi-hime put the bell back and fully opened the box on her lap. She chose one shaped like a white bunny and popped it in her mouth.
Chapter 1: The Christmas Wish
Black as Sin
Saga 1: Shao Yang of the Dark Prince
Chapter 1: The Christmas Wish
“Vegeta, how could you!” Bulma screamed.
Capsule Corp. was decked out in holiday spirit as only the Briefs could manage. Lights, garland, trees, wreaths, inflatables, moving figures, trains, and all set to music. Vegeta and Bulma were inside standing under the family’s private tree. It was three stories tall.
“You’ve lived on this planet seventeen years and you still wait till the last minute!” she continued to rant. “Bulla has been waiting for her Rarity toy all summer, and now all the stores are out! What are we going to tell her in the morning? That Santa forgot?!”
Vegeta just stood there, motionless.
“Oh!” Bulma threw her hands in the air. She pointed at him, “You have until dawn to fix this. And you better hope you think of something!” She stormed off. “And don’t come to bed tonight!” Bulma shouted as the automatic door closed, leaving Vegeta alone with the Christmas tree.
He stood there for several minutes staring at the presents. The booming music from the Technicolor light show outside rattled the glass of the windows. The song changed for the fourth time since he was left alone, “We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish…”
Vegeta ran from the room before the third line was sung.
~~***~~
Vegeta came to his daughter’s door, but he hesitated pushing the button. He closed his eyes and took deep breath, steeling himself no different than he would for battle. He pushed the button and the door slid open.
Bulla’s room was the stereotypical pink princess room with a royal canopy bed with white lace side curtains. Her bed set was My Little Pony. Her headboard shelves were stacked with My Little Pony figurines.
Vegeta entered what he has often griped was “The Heart of Pinkness” and slowly tiptoed through the metropolis of My Little Pony playhouses and its citizens. He pulled back her blanket. Bulla was sucking her thumb cuddling her Twilight Sparkle plushie dressed in My Little Pony pajamas.
“Bulla. Bulla,” he shook her gently, “Bulla, get up.”
“Hmmm…” she moaned.
Vegeta continued to shake her.
Finally, she lifted her head, “Daddy? …Did Santa come yet?”
“Yes he did, but I have a really big surprise for you. Even bigger than what Santa brought you. But I need you to put your snowsuit on.”
After putting on her matching My Little Pony coat, snowpants, boots, gloves, hat and scarf, Vegeta put on a backpack and picked her up. He slipped out of her window and shut it behind them. He looked at a large watch.
“Daddy what’s that thingy you holding?” she asked, pointing.
“This is a dragonball radar,” he said, “And Daddy needs you to hold this for me while we fly.”
He took off towards the northwest.
“Daddy, what’s a dragonball radar?” she asked, looking at the blinking dots on the screen.
Vegeta glanced at her surprised, “You’ve never heard of the dragonballs before?”
“No,” she shook her head.
“The dragonballs are magical crystals that grant wishes,” he explained.
“Grant wishes? Like a fairy godmother?” she asked excitedly.
Vegeta’s Saiyan pride twitched inside of him hearing the tone of his offspring. He swallowed. “Yes… yes that is a good comparison,” he forced from his mouth. “Now there are seven crystals we need to find. Then when we have all seven, Daddy will cast a spell and a magical dragon will rise from the stones. The dragon is the one that grants the wishes so do not be afraid of him.”
Bulla nodded. “If Fluttershy can stand up to a dragon then so can I,” she said proudly.
“I have no idea what my own offspring just said,” he thought.
~~***~~
Morning came.
Trunks did his traditional leaping down the staircase. Bulma did the traditional yelling at him not to do that. Dr. Brief and Mrs. Brief took turns on the chair lift.
Trunks ripped into his presents.
“Trunks wait for your sister,” Bulma ordered.
“But.”
“No buts,” she ordered.
Trunks glared at his mother.
“Don’t look at me with your father’s face, young man.”
Trunks sighed, then stared at the box he knew must have his new game console.
The minutes ticked by. Five… ten… thirteen…
“Alright,” Bulma stood from her recliner, “I’ll go get her.”
Bulma walked back upstairs. She came to her door.
“Bulla?” she knocked, “Santa came.” She opened the door and poked her head in. “Bulla?” Bulma saw the empty bed.
“Bulla?” she entered the room. She checked the walk-in closet. She checked the on-suite. “Bulla!” she ran out, “If this is a joke, it’s not funny!” Bulma looked under her bed. As she leaned on the bed to stand, she spotted a note on the pillow.
Bulma picked it up:
“Took Bulla on her first dragonball hunt.
Yes she is fully bundled up. Yes I have packed summer clothes. Yes I have packed rain clothes. Yes I have 100 Zeni cash plus my credit card. I’ll call you if we won’t be back by dinner.
And yes I know I’ll be sleeping in the guest room for the next month.
Vegeta”
~~***~~
Bulma fumed back into the room.
Everyone noticed.
“Mom, what’s wrong?” Trunks asked.
She threw the balled-up note at him, “Your father took Bulla dragonball hunting after he failed to get Bulla her presents last night.”
Trunks stood, “Do you want me to go after them?”
“No, leave those two alone for now,” she sat back down in her chair, “Tear away.”
Trunks dove back under the tree and grabbed the console-sized box. But he was surprised by how light it was. He ripped off the wrapping paper and opened the plain box. Inside was a bunch of wadded paper. He dumped the paper out and searched for a second box. He found it, and was disappointed that it fit in his hand.
Until he opened it— Car keys.
Trunks leaped into the air, “A car! You got me a car!”
“Merry Christmas Trunks,” Dr. Brief smiled.
~~***~~
“Daddy, why hasn’t the sun come up yet?”
“Because we are flying west,” Vegeta said putting the dragonball into the bag, “The sun can only move so fast.”
“You can fly faster than the sun?!” Bulla said, amazed.
“Yes I can,” he answered, putting the backpack back on, “Give me the radar.”
Bulla handed it to him.
He turned it on. “Hmmm, seems the next closest is to the south. We’ll need to change clothes on the way.”
“Why Daddy?”
“Because not all places on Earth have winter at the same time. It will be summer there.”
“Summer?! Can I have ice cream?”
“Yes, you can have ice cream.”
“Yeah!”
Vegeta rolled his eyes at her little happy dance. “That’s enough young lady. We have five more to find.”
Bulla stopped dancing and lifted up her arms. Vegeta picked her up then they flew into the clouds.
~~***~~
Dinner came and Bulma was pacing next to the phone. Finally it rang.
“Hello? Vegeta is that you?”
“Yeah Bulma,” she heard a nervous voice on the other end.
“How dare you take Bulla out without telling me?!”
Vegeta pulled the phone away from his ear as the ranting began. After about two minutes, he heard “Where are you?”
“We’re in some tiny-ass beach town on the other side of the equator,” he says, “Our third ball was here. And I had to explain why it’s summer here and she wanted ice cream then she wanted to go swimming so I bought her a suit and floaties and a boogie board and everything else.”
“Sounds like she’s having a good time?” Bulma’s voice sounded surprised.
“Yeah she is…” he said begrudgingly, “But if I’d gone by myself I’d be done by now. She gets scared if I fly too fast or high.”
“What is she doing now?” Bulma teased.
Vegeta pinched the bridge of his nose knowing she was enjoying the fact that he’s miserable. “She’s in the ball pit. We’re at one of the little kiddie pizza joints with the costumed workers with no pride.”
“So I take it this trip will be a few more days?”
Vegeta could hear her self-satisfied smirk through the phone. He stuck out his tongue.
“Did you just stick your tongue out at me through the phone?”
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said quickly and hung up the phone.
Suddenly he heard sobbing and looked down. “Bulla, what’s wrong?”
“Those mean kids said magic isn’t real and Santa is an evil fat guy that sticks hot dogs up little girls’ butts,” she whimpered.
Vegeta crossed his arms, “Bulla did they say hot dog or the word that also means a doggie?”
“They said the doggie word,” she wiped her eyes.
Vegeta knelt down. “Where are they?” he hissed.
Bulla led him to the ball pit. Vegeta climbed up the steps and put his left hand on one of the safety net’s support poles. He surveyed the pit.
It is a large pit, near fifty square feet. There are multiple groups of children playing separately in groups of three and four. There is one group of five. Visibly older, in their eights and nines with one maybe ten, a boy with curly blond hair. Vegeta’s eyes narrowed seeing them laugh. He recognizes the old, but very familiar tone.
“Are they the ones who said that to you?” he said pointing, “The older one with curly hair.”
Bulla nodded sniffling.
“Hey, you in the leather jacket.”
Vegeta and Bulla turned around. It was one of the staff dressed in a nondescript, pink and purple fuzzy creature.
“There’s a weight limit for the trampoline, no adults,” the male voice said.
Vegeta pointed into the ball pit. “That junior sociopath just told my daughter Santa Claus is a pedophile that rapes little girls! And during Christmas too!” he shouted at the top of his lungs.
The entire restaurant went silent.
A well-dressed fat man whispered to a young man sitting with him. The young man ran to the public phones, but struggled to pull a smart phone from an outside pocket in his satchel. Vegeta glanced back at the man walking towards him. “I smell a politician,” he thought. He returned to the intern, “And he’s calling the keystone cops.”
“Howdy sir,” the man said, extending his hand, “I’m Weiss, the mayor of this fine town.”
Vegeta did not take his hand, but crossed his arms as he stepped down from the ball pit. “Even the most perfect diamond has a flaw,” he said stopping in front of him, “And if it doesn’t, you know it’s all shit.”
“Did you want me Grandfather?” he heard behind him as Bulla hid between his legs. The boy walked around Vegeta and stood in front of Mayor Weiss. He put his hand on his grandson’s shoulder, both with smug looks on their faces.
“So what were you saying again?” Mayor Weiss asked.
“Your grandson is a douchebag and I can see where he gets it from,” Vegeta said calmly.
Mayor Weiss’ eyes widened.
Vegeta feigned innocence. “Oh I am so sorry, great mighty Weiss,” he bowed with an exaggerated motion, deep sarcasm dripping from every skin pore, “his omnipotent ruler of all the five hundred people who aren’t paying through their noses for the privilege of being eaten by sharks.” He then stood and held up his middle finger.
“And who might you be?” Mayor Weiss tried to say cordially.
“It’s Jet,” he said, crossing his arms, “Now about that apology.”
“I do believe sir, YOU are the one who owes my family and my town an apology,” Mayor Weiss said.
“No.”
“Now look sir…”
“No you look!” Vegeta pointed at him, “I would forgive your brat telling my daughter that Santa wasn’t real, but telling her Santa rapes children is completely unacceptable.”
“I said no such thing,” the boy said confidently, “And your daughter is a liar. Saying you can physically fly and you’ve traveled halfway around the world in one night collecting magical gems.”
Vegeta glanced down at Bulla before looking back up. “My daughter wasn’t lying,” he said calmly, “That’s exactly what we have been up to.”
“Ah,” Mayor Weiss said, “I see exactly what type of father you are. And you call my grandson a brat.”
Just then several police officers entered the restaurant.
“Hi Dad,” the boy waved.
“What seems to be the problem?” his father asked as they walked up.
“This man has been making wild accusations about your son and this town,” Mayor Weiss said, “I believe a few nights in jail for public disturbance is in order.”
The officer pulled out zip-tie handcuffs. “All right sir, hold up your hands and come quietly.”
“You know, it’s people like you that give this planet a bad name,” Vegeta hissed, not uncrossing his arms.
“You say that like you’re an alien,” the boy chuckled.
Vegeta leaned over into his face. “I am,” he smiled.
Bulla recognized the smile. She left his legs and hid under a nearby table turning a chair over to shield her. The officers saw this and readied their tasers thinking they were dealing with a nut.
Mayor Weiss pulled his grandson back, “I don’t appreciate you trying to scare my grandson.”
Vegeta leaned up, “Whether the brat is scared of me, that’s on your own conscience.”
“I’m not scared of you,” the boy snapped back, “I learned all about aliens in science class. You look too human to have evolved separately on another planet.”
“Actually my appearance is an illusion boy. Would you like to see what I really look like?”
The police raised their tasers. “Sir, we are going to need you to raise your hands in the air,” the father ordered.
“Bring it!” the son shouted.
Vegeta made his eyes glow without fully transforming.
Everyone took a step back.
“Remember you asked for it,” Vegeta smiled.
~~***~~
People coming into the fenced-in parking lot stopped in their tracks as people ran screaming from the restaurant, including several cops. Suddenly a flash of light broke through the mortar before the bricks went flying in an explosion. A glowing man with flames flying around him stepped over the pile of bricks screaming obscenities.
Vegeta surveyed the parking lot, and spotted the mayor and the boy running for the exit while others were jumping over the idyllic white picket fence. He found the most expensive car in the parking lot, assuming it belonged to the mayor, and threw it. Everyone hit the deck as it flew over. It wrapped around one of the twin palm trees framing the exit then spun out into the road.
Vegeta stormed over and grabbed the boy by his shirt. He lifted him up. “Never bully another child again,” he said, “Do you understand me boy?”
The boy wet himself as he whimpered.
“Good,” he said, dropping him.
Vegeta turned off the light show and walked back inside through the hole he just made. He stumbled over the loose bricks. After brushing the dust off his pants, he began searching through the overturned furniture.
He found Bulla near the batting cages. “Come on child, we have more dragonballs to find.”
Bulla slowly crawled out and Vegeta picked her up. “Let this be a lesson to you about never mentioning the dragonballs outside our family,” he said. This time he walked out the front door before he flew away.
~~***~~
Evening came in West City, and Bulma sat down with her hot coco and turned on the TV. The expected Christmas programming was replaced by a live news cast.
“As you can see behind me, the military is taking the report that a self-identified extra-terrestrial destroyed this children’s arcade very seriously. Witnesses say shortly after noon local time the man dropped his human disguise and intimidated a boy who had bullied his daughter over Santa Claus. The fight escalated when startled police officers fired their guns upon seeing the alien, leading to the mess behind me…”
Bulma took a throw pillow and screamed into it.
~~***~~
Six more days passed, and between the camel rides in dust storms and elephant rides with umbrellas, Vegeta ran out of cash ages ago. Today they were riding in the mountains. Bulla was riding a llama dressed in a poncho with a white horse woven into it and an Inca-style winter cap. Vegeta was walking— after his donkey bucked him.
“Bulla better keep her promise not telling anyone that,” he thought, “I will never live down the jokes.” He looked down at the radar. “Almost done…” he sighed, “Another 100 meters.”
“You say something Daddy?” Bulla called back as a local tour guide led her llama along the ancient road.
“We’re almost to the last ball,” he said, “Just a little further.”
“Yeah!” Bulla squealed.
Vegeta sighed again. “Finally, this nightmare is almost over…” he thought.
Another hour passed, and Vegeta and Bulla finally joined the tourists at an abandoned cloud-wrapped city on, contrary to the brochure’s descriptions, a not-so-forgotten peak.
Vegeta sneaked away from the tourists, leaving Bulla to the tour guides. He flew down the far side of the mountain into the river valley below. He followed the stream deeper into the wilderness until he came to a tall skinny waterfall with a large basin.
The radar said the last ball is below him.
After searching the banks for twenty minutes, he gave up his last strand of hope that the ball was not in the ice-cold glacial runoff. Vegeta undressed down to his birthday suit and left his clothes and the radar on a large rock. He clenched his teeth to keep his cursing from echoing up the canyon as he waded in.
Vegeta exited the water five times because of the cold, but on the sixth dive he came up with the ball just before hypothermia took him. He transformed to incinerate the water on him, then dressed. He flew up the valley and just made it back to the crowd as the headcount began for the climb down.
“Ah, there you are sir,” the lead guide said, “Please remain with the group. There are dangerous areas in these ruins.”
“Did you find it Daddy?” Bulla asked, running over.
Vegeta nodded.
“Yeah!” Bulla did her happy dance.
“Bulla. Bulla. BULLA!”
She stopped dancing instantly and looked up at his stern face.
“Save it till the bottom,” he ordered.
Bulla nodded sheepishly.
Suddenly Vegeta sneezed.
“You ok?” a local guide said in broken English. He put his hand on Vegeta’s shoulder, then almost instantly pulled it away. He began shouting in Quechuan and waving his hand.
“What’s going on?” Vegeta shouted.
Ponchos and blankets were thrown at him and someone behind him shoved a hat over his head. “They are saying you are very cold,” the lead guide translated.
Vegeta continued his protests out of pride, but was secretly thankful for the blankets. He walked down the mountain the full three-hour trek to the small town at its base.
He started packing the latest set of souvenirs into a capsule box as the buses began to load. Bulla was playing with a walking stick like a toy horse. “I got a pony poncho. I got a pony poncho. I got a pony poncho,” she sang, prancing.
Vegeta shook his head and decided not to take the poncho from her. He closed the lid and popped the capsule. He put it in a box with the others he had to buy during the trip and put it in the bag with the seven balls. Then he took another capsule from his pocket. He pushed the button and tossed it on the ground. A motorcycle with a sidecar appeared. He took his helmet from the sidecar and put it on.
“Bulla,” he shouted holding up her little helmet he bought her. It has one of her ponies on it. Hard to mistake a blue horse with wings and rainbow hair for anything else.
She stopped and ran over. “We’re not going to fly?” she asked.
“We will,” he said, “But if we disappear, they will look for us. Remember, we may not dress up like Gohan and Videl, but we are just as super as they are. We must be just as discreet and careful.”
“Yes, Daddy,” she said, putting the helmet on.
Vegeta revved the engine and they took off down the road.
They rode until sunset, leaving a trail through three villages until they came to one large enough to disappear. He took off eastward into the coming darkness.
~~***~~
Bulla woke in the morning to a soft bed. She sat up, only to discover they were on a beach. She had been set up on the blankets and ponchos in the sand. She looked up and saw leaves woven together in a little house. She saw her father at a fire, with what looks like a chicken spinning on a stick.
“You’re finally awake,” he said.
“What time is it?” she asked.
“By the sun? About mid-morning at this location. Compared to where we were, I have no clue. I slept myself,” he chuckled at the last sentence.
“Where are we?” she asked next.
Vegeta looked over his shoulders back into the trees and bushes, “Hmmm I’d say about an hour or so south of Roshi’s.” He turned back to his daughter, “After you fell asleep, I raced the sun once the mountains had gone dark. We’re on a small island all to ourselves.” He pointed up the beach, “I made a place to go to the bathroom over there if you need me to show you.”
“I’m ok,” Bulla said, wiping the sleep from her eyes.
“Good,” he pointed behind them.
She saw an open capsule box.
“Your bathing suit and everything else is in there. I already blew up all your floaties. But don’t go into the water without me.” He stood, “I’ll let you change. Food will be done by noon.” Vegeta walked into the bushes.
Bulla changed into her bathing suit, then put her t-shirt and skirt over it. She put her beach hat on. It was an adults’ straw-hat with its rim extending almost to her wrists with her arms fully outstretched.
She didn’t notice her father watching her behind a tree.
Vegeta was pleased when she obeyed not entering the water, but instead took the horse toys she had accumulated over the trip and played in the sand. He gave her the illusion of independence for about ten minutes by his guesstimation before walking back out.
“You ready Bulla?” he called out from the trees.
She stood and looked at the trees. “Yes Daddy!”
Vegeta stepped out. “You playing with your horsies?”
Her hat fell over her face as she nodded.
“Bulla. I owe you a day at the beach. Today is all yours, all right?”
“Yes, Daddy,” she said, fixing her hat.
Vegeta took out a capsule and tossed it in the sand. A cooler popped out. “How’s ice cream for breakfast sound?” he said, kneeling.
Bulla’s face lit up and she ran over. Besides bags of ice and lots of water bottles were a handful of small ice cream containers.
“You always steal Grammy’s cookie dough, don’t you?” Vegeta said holding up an ice cream container, “This ice cream says chocolate chip cookie dough flavor.”
Bulla ripped off the lid and started licking.
“Wait for the spoon first,” Vegeta scolded. “Here,” he handed her a plastic spoon, “Don’t break it.”
Bulla sat down and started to eat her ice cream.
Vegeta pulled out his own cup and sat down next to Bulla. “Don’t tell your mother,” he said.
Bulla just nodded.
“Did I guess right that it tastes good?”
Bulla nodded again.
The two sat silently eating for some time. Then Vegeta put the lid back on with only a third of his eaten. He turned around and placed it back in the cooler.
“Daddy what you doing?” Bulla asked.
“I’m going to check on lunch,” he said walking back towards the fire.
Vegeta took the chicken off the fire, then took the meat off the bone. He wrapped it in banana leaves then placed the parcels in the sand next to the fire. Vegeta then threw more wood on the fire making it wider and covering the chicken.
“Daddy, what are you doing?”
Vegeta turned around and saw Bulla behind him. “You’re a fast little bugger, aren’t you?” he said, turning back to the fire.
“Daddy why you bury the food?” she asked again.
“To keep it warm,” he said, “People who live on islands like this one will bury containers with food and build a fire over it to cook it. There’s actually a lot of food under here.”
“Like what?”
“Bananas, something that looks like potatoes, two goats…”
“What’s goat?”
“I don’t know,” he said, “One of the few things I haven’t eaten yet. Had the potato things at Roshi’s once. This should be a good lunch.” He glanced behind him, “Daddy needs to stay with the fire. Why don’t you explore the island in the trees? Mommy will get mad if you get a sunburn.”
Vegeta turned back to the fire and did not see Bulla nod slowly. She walked over to her toys, picked up three of her horses, and disappeared into the trees.
Bulla explored the island for some time. The inside of the island was not soft like the sandy beach and her bare feet soon hurt. But the animals on the island kept her occupied. She always thought her grandfather’s collection of animals included the entire world, but here were creatures she had never seen. Large birds that walked on the ground with dozens of babies chasing after their mothers. The babies looked almost exactly like the marshmallow candy she eats in the springtime. There were also small groups of four-legged, almost pony-like animals that always sounded like they were saying “mom”. The young ones acted like they had pogo sticks for legs, and they were definitely fond of her ice cream.
“Bulla?!” she heard, “Lunch is ready! Hurry before I eat it all! This goat is amazing!”
“Sorry I need to go,” she said to the four-legged animals.
“Maaaaaaaaaaaam,” they protested as she ran off.
“Ah. There you are,” he said, faking the fact he did not know her location from energy sensing, “Come on. Lunch is getting cold.”
~~***~~
Out on the beach, Vegeta was devouring the goat off the bones. Bulla was keeping her table manners about her and was eating the bananas and potato thingies with the plastic flatware.
Vegeta licked his fingers and grabbed a set of ribs after eating both rear legs. “If you’re not going to try the goat Bulla, eat your chicken. I only caught it in case you were picky and that bugger was hard to get.”
Bulla scraped the potato-thingies off her fork with her knife and took a piece of goat meat that had been already cut into little pieces. She stuck it in her mouth.
Bulla tried hard not to smile because her mother told her it was rude to eat with your mouth open like Daddy did.
“Good,” Vegeta said with his mouth full, “At least you get some part from me.”
Bulla had swallowed several pieces of meat when she heard cries of “Mom” from the woods. The pony-thing family walked out onto the beach and looked at them.
“Maaaaam” the children said.
Vegeta looked over and did not see his daughter waving at them. “Silence! Or you’re next!” he shouted.
The animals ran into the trees.
Vegeta returned to eating.
“Daddy, what you mean by next?” Bulla asked before sticking another piece in her mouth.
Vegeta looked over surprised. “Those are goats, Bulla.”
Bulla spit out the meat and overturned her plate in the sand.
“What do you think you’re doing young lady?!” he shouted.
Bulla started to cry.
“What’s wrong with you?” Vegeta asked confused, “You eat meat all the time.”
Bulla’s eyes widened, then she wailed even louder.
“Oh, don’t tell me you didn’t know what meat was?” he said frustrated.
Bulla started to gag. Vegeta vanished, then flashed behind her. He put his hand over her mouth. Bulla fought him, but Vegeta wrapped his other arm around her and held her tight.
“Look you spoiled brat!” he yelled in her ear, “I will not have a child of mine throw up. You are going to keep that meat inside you until it comes out as poop!” Vegeta stood so not to give her legs leverage.
Bulla soon stopped squirming, but the tears did not stop as Vegeta held her tight for what felt like eternity.
Vegeta held his daughter for about twenty minutes in order to make sure her body forced the meat out of reach of her conscience. Then he dropped her. He looked down at his trembling daughter. “Bulla,” he said sternly, “NEVER do that in my presence again.” Bulla sobbed in the sand as Vegeta stormed off, kicking the cooler to vent as he passed it.
Bulla lay listless in the sand, completely alone in the entire world. Vegeta was hiding in the trees, again watching. “Idiot,” he thought as he started hitting his forehead on the tree trunk.
Several coconuts falling to the sand made Bulla lift her head slightly. The next set was accompanied by a familiar set of bad words. Vegeta rubbed his head as he walked into view. Bulla laid her head back in the sand.
Vegeta sighed, then walked over. He squatted down in front of her. “Bulla… I know I’m the worst Daddy ever… but lift your head… it’s time to call the dragon and go home.”
Bulla lifted her head and watched her father walk over to their bags.
After Bulla screaming “No! No! I can walk!” when he tried to help her up, Vegeta dragged his feet as they walked to an area a short way from camp. He dumped the dragonballs, and everything else, into the sand. Vegeta arranged the balls and picked up the toilet paper, toothbrushes and other sundries out of the sand.
He tossed the backpack aside, “Are you ready to wish for whatever your heart wants, Princess?”
“Yes, sir,” she said forcefully.
Vegeta glanced down at her and smiled at the authoritative tone in her voice. He returned to the dragonballs.
“Eternal Dragon, I summon you to grant my wish.”
A great flash of light came from the balls before a blinding column rocketed into the air. The wind roared and twisted with thunder and the sky turned black.
Bulla yipped and fell backwards.
The Eternal Dragon fully materialized from the light. “What is your wish?”
Vegeta glanced at Bulla. “Bulla. Bulla, stand up,” he scolded.
Bulla trembled to her feet.
“And don’t hide behind me either,” he scolded, sidestepping her.
“Forgive her Eternal Dragon! This is her first witness,” Vegeta shouted up before returning to her. “You will stand before him alone,” he said before walking back towards the camp.
Bulla stood alone trembling before him, attempting to stand stiff and straight. Vegeta, watching her from behind, was worried she might faint.
“I cannot grant any wish. Only what is within my power,” the Dragon said. A few moments later, he spoke again. “Yes, that is within my power… Yes, I can do that as well…”
Vegeta realized they were talking, and it did not sound like a simple toy request.
“Your wishes have been granted.”
Vegeta saw his daughter vanish.
He ran over. He saw no new tracks. “Where did she go?! What did she wish for?!” he shouted up at the dragon.
“She wished to be teleported to the edge of the Everfree Forest I materialized for her.”
“And you sent her alone!” he shouted.
“I granted what I was asked!” he roared, “I am not the one who left her alone.”
Vegeta's eyes darted around as he thought. “Wait…” he looked back up, “If you’re still here that means you still have one wish to grant?”
“Yes.”
“I wish for the same thing she did!” Vegeta shouted.
“Your wish has been granted.”
Chapter 5: Unbridled Anger
Chapter 5: Unbridled Anger
Bulma had worn a hole in the carpet waiting on the phone call. Finally, she screamed, “Vegeta you’re dead!” She stormed off, “Trunks! Go find your father!”
Trunks and Goten were in his bedroom playing video games on their bean bag chairs when the door slammed open, startling them.
“Mom! What are you doing?” Trunks shouted.
Bulma stormed in and grabbed the controller and turned the game off.
“Hey!” they both shouted.
“Trunks. Go find your father and sister. It’s been three days!” Bulma ordered.
“All right, Mom. Sheesh,” Trunks stood. He closed his eyes. Then Trunks opened them surprised, “Goten can you find them? I can’t sense either of them.”
Goten closed his eyes. He soon opened them as well, “I can’t find them either.” He hopped over the beanbags. “I’ll go ask Dad,” he said, running past Bulma.
Bulma watched Goten run past her, then turned back into the room. Her anger turned to worry.
Goten dialed home.
“Hello?” he heard on the other side.
“Hi Mom. Can I talk to Dad?”
“Sorry, the Kais just called him away. Why what’s wrong?”
“Bulma wants Trunks and me to find Vegeta but we can’t sense where he is.”
“That’s odd,” Chi Chi said, “Can’t you cover most of the planet?”
“I know. That’s what’s so weird.”
“Well the Kais just called your father away on another adventure,” she said, “Why don’t you try Piccolo?”
“Ok. Bye Mom,” Goten said, hanging up. He sighed.
Suddenly the phone rang again.
“Hello?”
“That you Goten?”
“Krillin! Hey there. How are you doing?”
“We’re good. Hey do you know if anyone’s gone after the dragonballs?”
“Yeah, actually Vegeta took Bulla on her first dragonball hunt on Christmas Eve. Why?”
“Well yesterday the sky went dark south of us then we saw beams of light shoot by.”
“So Vegeta has already called the dragon?”
“If that was him, yes,” Krillin said.
“Alright, I’ll go tell Bulma and we’ll be over there soon,” Goten hung up. “Hey Bulma! Trunks!” he shouted running back towards the bedrooms.
“Did you find Bulla?” Bulma asked meeting him halfway. Trunks was right behind her.
“Oh, no, but Krillin just called saying he saw the dragon summoned yesterday on an island nearby.”
“You boys get ready. We’re heading to Roshi’s,” Bulma ordered.
~~***~~
Back in the afterlife, Goku had just arrived at the Supreme Kai’s world. He found Kibito Kai and Old Kai, but also Grand Kai and the four directional kings.
“Wow. Looks like the whole gang’s here,” he said surprised, “What’s up?”
“We have a crisis here, Goku,” Kibito Kai said, “A new solar system has appeared out of nowhere. With beings of great magical power. Even greater than Majin Buu.”
Goku smiled ear to ear, “Stronger than Majin Buu?”
King Kai started to giggle.
“I don’t see how this can be funny,” West Kai shouted, “These magical horse-things are tossing entire star systems like they are playing marbles! It is total chaos!”
“Yes,” Old Kai said, “We have been very lucky there have been no inhabited planets destroyed so far. But our luck cannot last forever. The way these beings are slingshotting their own star around is accelerating their system’s momentum. They will be in range of inhabited worlds within three weeks.”
“So you want to send me to this planet and ask them to stop moving stars?” Goku asked.
“Yes,” Kibito Kai said, “But these are an unknown people. As short of time as we already are, observation is our best option. We must find out who they are, the extent of their power and the motivation for their actions.”
King Kai started to giggle again.
“Will you tell us what you find so funny?” Grand Kai ordered, “This is not the time for your juvenile behavior.”
“I’m sorry,” King Kai snickered, “But they look so funny. Almost like an Earth Saturday-morning cartoon.”
“What is a cartoon?” Old Kai asked.
“A cartoon is just a children’s story told with drawing,” Goku said, “Can I see what they look like?”
“Of course,” Kibito Kai said, “Over here.”
Goku was led over to a large water scryer. He leaned over to view the image. Then he fell over laughing.
“Oh! Oh! I can’t breathe,” he said trying not to cry, “That looks just like My Little Pony…”
King Kai could not hold it in any longer and busted out laughing as well. “I know!”
“What is this ‘My Little Pony’?” South Kai asked.
“It’s just a kids show Bulla’s in love with,” Goku tried to say, “It’s all she talks about…”
“Well, I seriously doubt a children’s story has anything to do with what we are up against,” Old Kai said. He looked down at Goku, “Goku. Go tell your friends and prepare. We will give you information as it comes.”
“Ok…” he said through his laughter. Goku put his fingers to his forehead to teleport. Suddenly he stops laughing. Goku sat up.
“What’s wrong Goku?” Kibito Kai asked.
“I can’t feel Vegeta,” he stood. Goku concentrated harder. “I can feel everyone else on Earth, but not Vegeta.”
“Is Vegeta not on Earth?” Kibito Kai asked.
“He shouldn’t be,” Goku said, “It’s New Year’s. Besides, where would he go?”
King Kai, Kabito Kai and Old Kai all felt for him.
“I don’t feel his presence at all,” Kabito Kai said, turning to Old Kai, “Do you?”
“No, I do not,” he said.
“I just spoke with King Yemma,” King Kai said, “He hasn’t passed through the check-in station.”
“King Kai!” Goku said shocked.
“We all were thinking it,” he said in defense.
“I’m going to ask Bulma what’s up,” Goku said, putting his fingers back on his forehead.
He vanished.
~~***~~
Goku materialized back on Earth, just in time to become a bug on Bulma’s windshield.
“Goku!” Bulma threw the capsule plane’s engines into reverse, then hover. He slid squeakily down the windshield until he caught himself under the plane.
She quickly undid her seat belt and opened the passenger side door, “Are you all right?!”
“Yeah… I’m fine…” he shook his head to clear it, “Just working on my mosquito impression.”
“Well get in here,” she ordered, “Trunks and Goten have flown ahead.”
Goku buckled himself in and Bulma engaged the throttle. “The Kais want us to prep for another battle?” she groaned.
Goku chuckled, “Yeah. And you’re never going to believe against who.”
She sighed, “Fine I’ll bite. Against who?”
“This place is exactly like those pony toys Bulla plays with,” Goku said in disbelief, “It’s like a little girl’s fantasy wish come true.”
Bulma furrows her eyebrows. “Really?”
Goku did not notice her knuckles turning white. “Yeah. That’s crazy isn’t it?”
“So why are the Kais worried about them?”
“They are using some powerful magic to fling stars in every which direction…”
“Princess Luna— check,” she thought. “Anything else?” she asked.
“They are using the same power to move their sun around causing their own system to move really fast through space.”
Bulma bit her lip, “Princess Celestia— check. Vegeta’s grave stone, also check.”
“So why are we all heading towards Master Roshi’s? Is there a party I wasn’t told about?” Goku asked.
“Vegeta is missing after going Dragonball hunting,” she said, “Krilin saw the dragon yesterday on an island nearby.”
“Really,” Goku said, “That’s funny. That’s when this toy horse planet appeared out of thin air.”
“Let’s get to Master Roshi’s,” Bulma said, throwing the plane into full throttle.
~~***~~
Trunks and Goten were flying up ahead.
“So… How dead do you think your dad is?”
“I think he’s going to be staying at a hotel for a while,” Trunks said.
“Do you hear something?” Goten asked suddenly.
“That sounds like…”
Trunks and Goten looked behind them just in time to avoid getting hit. They hovered next to each other.
“Wow,” Goten started, “Bulma looks pissed.”
Trunks looked at Goten, “But wasn’t that Goku in the passenger seat?”
Goten felt ahead. “Hey Dad, wait up!” he yelled, taking off.
Trunks was right on his heels.
~~***~~
Krillin, 18, Marion and Master Roshi heard the plane’s engines and stepped outside. The plane landed and the doors opened.
“Goku?” Krillin said surprised, “Why didn’t you just instant transmission?”
Trunks and Goten climbed out next behind Goku as Bulma confronted Krillin.
“Where did you see Vegeta?!” she demanded.
Master Roshi and Krillin both stepped backwards at the fury.
“Hey! Save it for your husband. Not mine,” 18 scowled.
Bulma got so close to 18 their noses almost touched, “Vegeta disappeared with Bulla Christmas Eve to go dragonball hunting and I haven’t heard from him in three days!”
“Wait? Bulla is with Vegeta?” Goku asked.
Bulma turned and glared at him.
Goku swallowed.
Bulma turned back to Krillin, “Which island?”
“It was on the horizon,” he pointed, “Probably one of the deserted islands an hour south.”
Bulma crossed her arms and leaned down to be eye level, “Well?”
“18…” he started.
“Marion, can you go back inside with Roshi?” she talked over him, “Your father and I will be helping find Vegeta and Bulla.”
“Ok,” Marion nodded. She walked inside. Roshi quickly followed after being glared at by both women.
“Are we taking the plane?” Krillin asked.
“That would make it a three-hour trip just to get there,” 18 said, taking to the air, “We fly.” She disappeared to the south.
Goku, Trunks and Goten looked at Bulma, then at each other.
“Rock Paper Scissors?” Goku said.
~~***~~
Goku was carrying Bulma as they searched island to island by air.
“Hey guys!” Trunks yelled, waving, “There’s a camp on this one!”
The group landed. Bulma spotted the pony blankets under the shelter and ran over. Krillin and 18 headed to the overturned capsule box. Trunks and Goten headed over to the beach supplies before running towards the water. Goku headed to the burnt-out fire. He knelt at the fly-ridden food.
“Vegeta would never abandon meat like this,” he thought, “Something’s happened.”
“Hey guys!” Goku stood and waved over. Krillin and 18 turned around. Bulma ran over holding several of Bulla’s toys. Trunks and Goten came down after hovering above the coral reef.
Everyone quickly put their hands over their noses and looked away seeing what Goku found.
“Oh! Dad, gross!” Goten said.
“Yeah! Seriously?” Trunks echoed.
“And what’s the point of making us see that!” 18 shouted.
“Since when would Vegeta abandon meat? There’s at least two full animals here,” he explained, “Something very wrong happened here.”
Bulma started running down the beach, “Bulla! Bulla, it’s Mommy! Please answer me!”
Trunks and Goten flew back out over the water.
“We’re not going to find anything here,” Goku said, “There’s no one in the area and King Kai already checked with King Yemma.”
“Why are the Kais looking for Vegeta?” Krillin asks, surprised.
“They need our help again,” Goku explained, “But right now we need to find him.”
“Let’s just ask Baba,” 18 said, “Better than making sand castles.”
“Good idea,” Goku said, putting his fingers to his forehead. He vanished.
Krillin flew over to Trunks and Goten. 18 sighed knowing she had been abandoned to deal with Bulma.
“Bulla! Bulla!” Bulma was screaming as she was running down the beach. 18 flashed in front of her. She grabbed Bulma’s left arm.
“What are you doing?! Let me go!” she struggled, “Bulla! Bulla!”
“Shut up! She’s not here,” 18 said.
“Bulla!” Bulma continued to scream.
“Goku just went to get Baba!” 18 shouted over her.
Bulma calmed down— slightly.
“We’ll find out where they are in a second,” 18 said, releasing her arm.
~~***~~
Goku arrived at Fortune Teller Baba’s home— and discovered a gigantic line.
“Hey no cutting in line, bub,” a man said grabbing his arm, “I’ve been here since yesterday.”
“Yesterday?” Goku said in disbelief. He looked back and forth between the extremely long “free” line, and the much shorter pay line. He sighed, “Bulma’s going to love this.” Goku hopped over to the shorter pay line.
When Ghost Usher came out, Goku waved him down, “Hey! Usher. It’s Goku!”
“Oh, hello Goku,” he flew over, “What are you doing in the pay line?”
Goku put his hands together and begged, “Please, the Kais need Vegeta and no one can find him and King Yemma said he hasn’t been through the check-in station.”
“Wow,” Usher said, “I’ll inform Lady Baba on our next client.” He flew back to the beginning and escorted the next set through.
About fifteen minutes later the previous “free” group was tossed half-dead out a side door and the wealthy family was escorted out the main exit by Baba herself, floating on her crystal ball. She nodded respectfully to her wealthy patrons before flying up to Goku.
“So the Kais are looking for Vegeta? I take it something is happening,” she asked.
Goku nodded, “Take my hand. We’ll transmit.”
“Normally the Kais contact me themselves,” she said skeptically, “Why have they sent you?”
“I haven’t told them that…”
“Go tell them,” she ordered, “Then have them contact me. By then I should be done with my paying clients.”
“But Baba…”
“No buts,” she said sternly. Then she turned and talked sweetly to her next client then invited them in.
Goku sighed, then vanished, startling the crowd.
Goku appeared at the Supreme Kai’s world next to King Kai.
“Goku,” King Kai said surprised, “What are you doing here?”
“Fortuneteller Baba won’t leave her clients to help find Vegeta and Bulla unless one of you tells her it’s an emergency,” Goku explained, “Please. Before Bulma has my head.”
King Kai twitched his antennas, “Baba, can you hear me?”
“Yes, I can hear you perfectly King Kai,” Baba said, interrupting her incantation on her crystal ball.
“Goku said you gave him a hard time?”
“Give me a few minutes and I’ll be right there,” she said.
King Kai nodded, “See you soon.” He turned to Goku, “She’ll be ready shortly.”
Another fifteen minutes passed before Baba arrived in heaven.
“All right, I’m…” before Baba could finish, Goku grabbed her and teleported.
They arrived on the beach.
“What took so long!” Bulma screamed running up, still clinging to Bulla’s toys.
“Baba wouldn’t leave her clients,” Goku begged.
She glared at Baba, “My husband and daughter are missing and you’re busy looking for remote controls?!”
Baba turned to Goku, “Goku you didn’t tell me Bulla was missing as well?”
Bulma returned her fiery gaze back at Goku.
“I thought telling her the part where the Kais can’t find Vegeta would get her here quicker,” he begged.
“So, what’s happening with Vegeta and Bulla?” Baba asked, saving Goku from Death by Bulma Glare.
“Vegeta took Bulla dragonball hunting,” Bulma said. “They summoned here but never came home.”
“All their stuff is still here,” Trunks said, “Bulla would never leave her toys.”
“And there’s unfinished meat here,” Goku said, “Vegeta would never abandon food without a good reason.”
“All right then,” Baba hopped off the crystal ball. She began her incantation. Everyone crowded around as the image appeared.
It began with Vegeta summoning the dragon. Then Bulla hid behind him.
“…You will stand before him alone,” he tells her and walks off.
They saw her trembling before the dragon, and Vegeta standing just out of earshot watching intently. Bulla grabbed her skirt and started wringing it. “Is it true you can grant any wish Mr. Dragon?”
“I cannot grant any wish. Only what is within my power,” the Dragon said.
“If… If I was… to ask that My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic… was real… co… could you do that?”
“Yes, that is within my power.”
“If… I was to… to ask to be turned into a pony and … and taken to the Everfree Forest j…st outside Ponyville… could you do that too?”
“Yes, I can do that as well…”
“Oh she isn’t?!” Trunks and Bulma both shout at the same time.
“I wish My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was real and you make me a pony and take me to the Everfree Forest,” she says.
“Your wishes have been granted.”
Vegeta saw his daughter vanish and ran over. He glanced about. “Where did she go?! What did she wish for?!” he shouted up at the dragon.
“She wished to be teleported to the edge of the Everfree Forest I materialized for her.”
“And you sent her alone!” he shouted.
Trunks glanced at his mother, “Does Dad even know what the Everfree is?”
“I doubt it,” she said.
“Wait…” he looked back up, “If you’re still here that means you still have one wish to grant?”
“Yes.”
“I wish for the same thing she did!” Vegeta shouted.
“He just didn’t?!” Goku and Goten shouted.
Trunks put his hand over his mouth muffling several curse words.
Bulma was simply wide-eyed.
“Your wish has been granted.”
He vanished.
“Wait, I'm following them,” Baba said, waving her hands.
A new image formed.
In a deep forest, a small foal was running for its life from a pack of timber wolves. It was bright pink with magenta eyes. It had adorable pink curls and a pink flower in its mane and a red bow tied in its tail. It was wearing a frilly pink tutu and ballerina slippers on all four hooves.
“Run Bulla!” Trunks shouted.
Bulma brought her hands to her mouth.
“Bulla!” the pink foal shouted in the sweetest, most adorable voice imaginable, “When we get home I’m burning all your toys!”
Everyone’s jaws dropped.
“Did she just say…?” Goten asked.
“What the fuck are creatures like this doing in Earth Children’s Programming! I’m talking with your Mother!”
Goku collapsed on the sand laughing. “Oh…my…good…ness,” he hyperventilated, “Vegeta!”
Trunks shook his head, “Oh Father… Even you don’t deserve this…”
Goten noticed Bulma was not reacting. He poked her several times. “Hey Trunks, I think your Mom’s broken,” he said, continuing to poke her.
~~***~~
While Bulma’s brain was blue screened, Vegeta was still running for his life.
“Help!” he shouted, “Somebody! This is a fucking road! Roads mean people!” As the timber wolves attempted to circle him, Vegeta saw a light through the trees. “Please don’t be another fucking cliff! Please don’t be another fucking cliff!”
At the same time, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were visiting Fluttershy.
“There you go, Gummy. Does that make it feel better?” Fluttershy asked as the alligator chewed on a bunch of leaves.
“So, Gummy ACTUALLY had a toothache?” Rainbow Dash said dumbfounded.
“Not exactly,” Fluttershy said standing up, “Something hot got stuck in a pocket where his teeth should be and burned his gums.”
Suddenly Pinkie started to twitch. “Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy,” she said as her whole body started to shake.
“Oh no. What now?” Rainbow Dash asked with a pillow over her head. Fluttershy was under the coffee table.
“Something big, mean and scary is coming this way from the Everfree Forest!” Pinkie shouted.
She and Rainbow Dash went to the window.
“What do you see?” Fluttershy asked, still under the table.
Vegeta exited into the open, “Not a cliff! Not a cliff! Fence! Fence means people! Help!” He turned off the road, “Help!”
“Help!”
“Is someone calling for help?” Fluttershy asked, crawling from under the table.
“There’s a foal being chased by timberwolves!” Rainbow Dash said, running out the door. Pinkie soon followed. Fluttershy watched from the door.
Vegeta thought he saw a person behind the bushes. He got closer to the fence. “Help!” he continued to scream. He got closer to the fence.
“ No way I can jump that like this ,” he thought, “Gotta go underneath.”
Vegeta dove underneath, but his tutu got caught on the fence. Vegeta looked behind him as the wolves closed in. He pulled with all his might and the tutu yanked free, but the sudden momentum flipped him head over hoof through the bushes. He collided with something fuzzy. Vegeta looked up and saw the “help” he saw from the road.
“Bear! Bear!” he shouted, stumbling backwards. Then he heard the growls of the wolves. They tried to circle. The bear roared on its hind legs before it came down on all fours. Vegeta was stuck underneath as the battle began.
“Stay away from Mr. Bear!” Fluttershy shouted at the top of her lungs.
The timber wolves paused and looked towards Fluttershy. Then Rainbow Dash descended with a thunderous boom. Between her and Mr. Bear, those that were not turned to kindling scampered back to the Everfree.
“Yeah! You better run!” Rainbow Dash flexed.
“Are you alright Mr. Bear?” Fluttershy asked. It nods.
Pinkie Pie, on the other hand, was poking Vegeta with a fifteen-foot pole with a cooking pot as a helmet and its lid as a shield.
“Pinkie! What are you doing?” Rainbow Dash went to stop her.
Fluttershy walked up and nuzzled him, “Oh dear. I think the poor thing has fainted.” She pulled the pink foal on her back, “We better get her inside.”
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash quickly got Vegeta inside. Pinkie followed hesitantly, still prepared for battle.
~~***~~
Vegeta blinked awake.
He seemed to be on a soft bed. He raised his head with what little strength his current prison allowed him to muster.
“Oh, thank goodness,” he heard a soft, kind voice, “You’re awake.”
Vegeta turned towards the voice and saw a yellow pony with pink hair.
“You had us all scared there, little one,” the yellow pony said.
“Yeah,” came a boyish voice, “What’s a prissy little pony like you doing in a place like the Everfree?”
Vegeta looked towards the voice and saw a blue pony with rainbow hair.
“These two look familiar…” he thought, “But then Bulla has way too many toys to care…”
He lowered his head, having expended what little energy he had.
“Poor thing,” the yellow one said, “You’re exhausted.” She turned around, “Let me get you some hay and water.” She walked out of Vegeta’s line of sight.
The blue pony turned in the opposite direction. “Pinkie…” it said in a disapproving manner, “Will you come out of there. Does this filly look like an Ursa Major to you?”
Vegeta laid his head sideways to see, unable to lift it again. He discovered a child’s cushion fort with blue eyes glaring at him between a cooking pot and its lid.
“Here we go,” the yellow one said, placing a tray next to him.
Vegeta turned his head and saw a pile of hay and a cup of water. He stared at it. Then he realized he was being watched. The yellow and blue ponies were watching expectantly.
He sighed.
“Well…” he thought, “I haven’t eaten in two days… And this current body is an herbivore… Best to be practical.” Vegeta took a bite of the hay. He shivered, “Nope… being an herbivore has not altered its taste… I hate vegetables…”
Vegeta struggled to chew and swallow. The concern over his current state had even drawn the blue eyes, now attached to a pink body, out of its fort.
“Oh my,” the yellow one said, “You’re so exhausted you can’t even eat right. Would you like to sleep more?”
“No…” Vegeta said weakly, “I haven’t eaten in two days. My body will need this.”
Everyone gasped.
“Two days?!” the pink one half shouted, “I can’t even go twenty minutes without a cupcake! And no one deserves to go more than an hour without a cupcake!”
Vegeta went to speak but got a cupcake shoved in his mouth.
“I must really be out of it to not have noticed the cupcake…” he thought.
He spit it out to the pink one’s horror, but she returned to ease when he started nibbling on it.
“Simple sugars for quick energy, carbohydrates for strength,” he rationalized, “But this icing is nice. Panchy will want the recipe.”
The pink one took off its pot-helmet, “Well. Somepony who likes my cupcakes can’t be all bad.”
Vegeta struggled to clear his mouth with his tongue. “What do you mean by that?”
“Pinkie, don’t start that again,” the blue one rolled its eyes.
“Hey! My ‘Pinkie Sense’ never lies!” she shouted back.
As the two argued, Vegeta looked to the yellow one. “What are they talking about?”
The yellow one moved in close, “Well… umm… You see… Pinkie Pie has the ability to predict things that are about to happen sometimes hours beforehand. She predicted something big, mean and scary was going to come out of the forest, then that pack of timber wolves came out chasing you.”
Vegeta turned stunned to the squabbling ponies.
“That thing can predict the future?” he thought. Then he lowered his head and scrunched his shoulders, “Oh crap. What else does she know about me?”
Suddenly the pink one vanished.
“Well for one thing, I don’t know your name silly,” its voice came from behind him.
Vegeta rolled on his side to look behind him, and discovered he was on a window bench. And that pink one was now somehow outside at the window. Then it disappeared again.
“So, what’s your name?” the pink one materialized inside right in front of him.
“Geez. She’s worse than Kakarot,” he thought.
The pink one tilted its head confused, “Why am I worse than a carrot?”
Vegeta instinctively pinned his ears back and wrapped his tail around him. “Crap. She can read minds.”
“Read a what?” she said, cocking her head fully horizontal.
“Pinkie stop being so random,” the blue one scolded, “You’re scaring her.”
“Her?” Vegeta thought. Then he noticed something wrong. He twitched his rear end, then rolled over to look at his belly.
To the three’s confusion, the little filly then gave the most adorable sigh of frustration, then lay lethargic on the cushion.
“Umm…” the yellow one said, “Why don’t we go first… I’m Fluttershy.” She pointed with her hoof, “And this is Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.”
Vegeta raised his head. “Wait,” he thought, “I know these names.”
“Well, I see you’ve already heard of my awesomeness,” Rainbow Dash bragged.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Vegeta said with an un-amused look on his face.
“Excuse me?!” Rainbow Dash said offended. She tried to get in his face but Fluttershy jumped in the way.
“Rainbow must be the violent type,” he mentally decided, “I will be talking with your mother, Bulla.”
“My name is Vegeta,” he said out loud.
“So what were you doing in the forest for two days?” Rainbow Dash mocked, “Musta been scary for a little cutie without a cutie mark.”
Vegeta glared at her, “Note to self: Punch this one in the face once I’m back to normal.”
“Oh! Oh! I know!” Pinkie shouted hoof raised, “You’re royalty from another planet whose daughter used forbidden magic to turn herself into a pony and teleported her here and you chased after her with the same spell not knowing you’d get turned into a pony too, right?”
“How do you fucking know that?!” Vegeta pointed, “Where’s my daughter?!”
“I don’t know. I was just guessing,” Pinkie Pie bounced.
“That didn’t sound like a guess!”
“Oh dear,” Fluttershy said, “Don’t worry, your Ladyship. We’ll help you find your daughter.”
“I’m a Prince!” Vegeta shouted, “And one of the most feared warriors in the universe!”
“No, you’re not,” Pinkie sang, “Right now you’re a little cute filly even pinker than I am!”
“You’re…” Rainbow Dash started to snicker, “a boy?” Suddenly she was on her back, rolling around on the floor laughing.
Vegeta glared at her in his normal menacing fashion, but it only came out as more adorableness. As Rainbow Dash hyperventilated, Vegeta hopped down from the window seat, walked over to her, and promptly bit her ear.
“Owe!” Rainbow Dash shouted and tried to shake Vegeta off. His horse teeth slipped off faster than Vegeta would have liked.
“Hey!” Pinkie Pie yelled, “That wasn’t very nice Mr. McMeanie!”
“You’re lucky I’m stuck in this body or I would have done a lot worse!”
Rainbow Dash lowered her front end and stalked closer to Vegeta, “Well then it’s good for me that spell turned you into such a small fry so it’ll be easier to kick your tail, your royal tininess.”
Vegeta buffed out his chest, “This wasn’t my original horse shape! I woke up like this this morning!”
Rainbow Dash could not stand the cuteness and rolled on her back laughing again.
“I’m sorry,” Fluttershy said, “But what did you mean by that?”
“After searching for my daughter and getting lost in the woods in the process, I slept in there. Then I woke up like this.”
“Did… you by any chance get into some short, blue-leafed plants?” Fluttershy asked.
“I slept in a patch. Why?”
“Oh, bucking Celestia! You’re an idiot!” Rainbow Dash rolled.
“What do you mean by that?!” Vegeta growled, or at least tried to.
Pinkie Pie bounced around the room, “You silly. That was Poison Joke!”
“Poison… …Wait, are you saying those plants did this to me?!” he shouted.
“Right-r-reno!” Pinkie bounced.
“How do you reverse it?!” Vegeta demanded, or at least tied to.
“You take a special herbal bath,” Fluttershy said earnestly, “We should get you to Zecora’s right away.”
Vegeta thought for a few moments. “As tempting as that thought is, now that running for my life in a cartoon forest can be scratched off my bucket list, finding my daughter should be the first priority.”
“That and the fact you got hurt yesterday but you getting turned into a filly means you can’t feel the horrible pain, right?” Pinkie said.
“Oh dear,” Fluttershy gasped, “Why don’t I take you to the hospital while Pinkie and Rainbow Dash go form a search party.”
“Young…” Vegeta looked underneath her before standing straight, “Mare...”
Fluttershy turned almost as pink as Pinkie Pie realizing what he just did.
“I am not only a Saiyan warrior, I am the crown prince. Ruler of the most powerful warrior race in the galaxy. I have fought in thousands of battles, been injured millions of times, and have even been resurrected from the dead using magic on two separate occasions in wars decades apart. My current injuries…”
“Eep! You’re a zombie!” Fluttershy hid behind a chair.
“Awesome!” Rainbow Dash shouted.
“Look butterfly butt,” Vegeta shouted annoyed, “Last I checked, zombies cannot have children. And I’ve fathered both my offspring after I died the first time! Now stop being a coward and help me find my daughter!”
Fluttershy did not move from her hiding spot.
“It’s ok Fluttershy,” Pinkie Pie said walking over to her, “He’s not a zombie. When my ‘Pinkie sense’ went off my left back hoof didn’t itch. That means he’s not a zombie. He's as alive as you and me.”
“Awe…” Rainbow Dash moped.
Vegeta saw this statement calmed the yellow one and she slowly made her way back into the open. He cleared his throat, “The point, young lady, is that my current injuries are nothing I haven’t dealt with before and…”
“No you haven’t,” Pinkie said, “You’ve never been a pony before so you’ve never been in…”
“I’m perfectly fine! Let’s just find Bulla!” Vegeta shouted at the top of his lungs.
After accidently exhaling what little energy his anger gave him, Vegeta lay down.
Everyone remembered how weak he actually was. Vegeta, recognizing the pity despite the pony faces, adjusted his position to mask his health.
Rainbow Dash was impressed. “Ok tough guy, any idea where to find her?”
“If I didn’t know enough about this world to not end up pink… What makes you think I’d know where to look for her?”
Pinkie Pie started to bounce again, “Sure you do silly! She wouldn’t be in Ponyville if she didn’t love Ponyville. And little kids never stop talking about the things they love! Even if it all went in one ear and out the other, it had to have left a bump or two rattling around your head!”
“Aaaaa,” Vegeta growled annoyed. Then he laid his head on the floor and put his hooves on the sides of his head. “Stupid… Stupid… Stupid…” he mumbled.
“Rarity!” he jumped up, or attempted to. His legs instantly failed him and he was back lying on the floor. “White horse, purple hair, lives in a carousel.”
“See! Told you, silly!”
Vegeta looked around, then looked up and discovered Pinkie Pie upside-down on the ceiling.
Vegeta fell on his back startled. “How are you standing on the ceiling?!” he pointed.
Pinkie just looked at her feet, then back at Vegeta, “I don’t know. I’m just am, silly.” Pinkie then bounced on the ceiling over to the door then exited into the sky.
Vegeta collapsed and covered his eyes with his front hooves, “Oh. You’re the stereotypical crazy person in this poor excuse for children’s educational programming…”
“Say what?” Rainbow Dash said.
“Yep! I am!” Pinkie Pie said mysteriously popping into existence behind Vegeta. She pushed him out the door.
~~***~~
Meanwhile, Bulla had awakened.
“Oh yes! I have toys of you! I have lots of toys of you!” Bulla said, bouncing in a circle around Rarity.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders had also stepped off the bed and Opalescence purred, reclaiming her spot.
“You my biggest favorite favorite favorite favorite ever!”
Rarity honestly had no idea what to do with the prancing filly circling her. “Well… that’s very flattering… So why am I your favorite?”
Bulla stopped in front of her, “Because you make pretty clothes and jewelry! I have all your accessories!”
“And these are for your dolls… not full-size clothing?”
Suddenly Bulla’s eyes started to sparkle, and Rarity instantly regretted her words.
Bulla jumped into the air, “Full size clothing?!” She began to spin in a circle, “Real, authentic, not fake, not pretend, actual Rarity-made Carousel Boutique clothing?!” She started to jump, but was still rotating in a circle. “I want it~! I want it~! I want it~! My toys will be so jealous!”
Suddenly she stopped, gasping at a thought. “Can you make clothes for Mommy too?! Mommy always loves clothes and jewels! She goes out shopping every day!”
“Really?” Rarity put her hoof over her heart, “Well that’s… very sweet of you to think of your mother like that.”
“Yeah! Mommy has the biggest closet in the whole world!” Bulla continued her ecstatic ramble. “It’s got four stories tall and and lots of moving staircases, and Daddy says it’s so big the servants need to start cleaning all over again before they even get finished with one pass through.”
“Really?” Bulla now had Rarity’s full attention.
“Yea! Daddy gets grumpy when Mommy comes back from shopping,” she began, “He says all Mommy does is walk into a store, buy everything in there, and is out in less than five minutes.”
“Really?!”
Bulla fed off Rarity’s growing excitement, “Yea! Daddy says Mommy has so many pretty clothes and jewelry she could live a thousand years and could never wear all her stuff even once! And she probably owns lots of the same thing because even someone as smart as Mommy could never remember everything she owns.”
“Umm… did your sister’s eyes just flash bit signs?” Scootaloo whispered to Sweetie Belle.
Rarity bowed, “Well of course, Darling! I would LOVE to make your family clothing!”
“Yippee!” Bulla bounced again. “Yeah! Daddy calls it a Materie-a-lipstick addition!” she said, obviously proud of knowing such a big word.
Suddenly, Bulla heard chuckling at the door. “Actually, I think it's pronounced ‘Materialistic Addiction’.”
Bulla turned around. “Princess Twilight Sparkle!” She galloped over to the doorway where Twilight was standing with a satchel stuffed with books. “And Spike!” she gasped seeing him behind her legs.
“Well, hi there…” Spike started.
Then the door chime rang down in the store.
“Bulla! You better be in here child! Before my temper gets more wild!”
Twilight turned around. “Zecora? That you?”
Bulla cringed.
~~***~~
Bulla tried hiding behind Rarity, but she stepped aside. “You ran away from Zecora? Shame on you,” she scolded.
Zecora was fuming. “What a selfish, ungrateful, spoiled brat! What an unfeeling heart you must have to put us through all of that!”
Bulla was curled up crying, shivering with fear.
“Your tears will not save you this time! Oh! Rage like this I have never felt! I have half a mind to give you a welt!”
“What’s a welt?” Bulla whimpered.
“A good ol’ fashion spankin’,” Applejack said. She turn to the other children, “Ya’ll three an’t in trouble. Did a good thing watchin’ over her but ya’ll should skedaddle and let the adults take care of this.”
“Don’t have to tell us twice!” Scootaloo shouted. The three scrambled out the door and down the steps.
“What’s… what’s spankin?” Bulla whimpered after they were gone.
“Don’t tell me your parents ain’t ever told ya ‘No’ in your entire life?” Applejack asked.
“Daddy tells me no sometimes, but then Mommy or Grammy and Grampy yell at him and I get to do what I want anyway…”
“Well, young lady,” Rarity scolded, “If you want me to make you a dress, you will have to be more considerate of others.”
“Yes… Ma’am…”
“So Zecora,” Twilight turned to her, “Since you’ve spent the most time with her, why don’t you go first.”
“Gladly,” Zecora said standing tall, “It would be good for you to perk up your ears. Because this child is not as she appears. The spell she used to come here also changed her shape, of this there is no mistake. She called herself a per-Son…”
Twilight’s eyes widened.
“… and drew a stick figure in the dirt. A thing that stood on its hind legs like a bear. And her front paws she called ‘fingers’…”
“You’re a human?!” Twilight blurted out. She ran up to her and lowered her head to look the scared filly in the face. “You’re really a human? How did you find out about us? How did you get here if not through the mirror?”
“You know of these creatures, Twilight?” Zecora asked.
“Yes!” she shouted in her scholarly panic. “The human world is what’s on the other side of that mirror when I chased Sunset Shimmer.” She turned back to Bulla. “Did you really use magic to get here? I didn’t think there was magic in the human world. Was what you used an ancient relic from Equestria? How…” she began to talk so fast she almost talked like Pinkie Pie.
“Hold your horses there, Partner,” Applejack said, “She can’t answer ya if you keep talkin’.”
“Oh…” she chuckled nervously, “Sorry about that.”
“If you have been to her world,” Zecora asked confused, “Then why did you not tell Princess Celestia about this ‘Tee Vee’ of theirs?” she stomped her hoof, “She uses it to spy on us!”
Twilight sat, “But that doesn’t make sense… TVs are just moving picture machines. They can’t be used to spy on people or ponies.”
Applejack walked over and confronted Bulla. “I think ya better start from the beginning, youngin’. And no lyin’. I can smell a lie a mile away.”
Forty minutes later…
“Your father tricked you into eating meat?!” Rarity fainted.
Applejack had a blank look on her face, “…I… didn’t sense a single lie in that…'' She turned to Twilight. “Twilight,” she said forcefully, pointing at Bulla, “Cast a truth spell on her or somethin’. There’s no way in tarnation that can be true.”
Twilight was just mumbling, “But I’ve been to the human world… That doesn’t make sense…”
“Sure it does, Silly!” Pinkie miraculously appeared behind Twilight and gave her a hug. “The writer just wrote a story about you visiting them and that’s what you remember!”
Pinkie then flashed in front of Bulla. “So you’re Bulla! It is sooooo nice to meet you! I’ve heard so much about you! I’ve been thinking about how to have two “Welcome to Ponyville” parties and a “Thank You for Making Us Alive” party at the same time, but I couldn’t! So we’re going to have three parties!”
Bulla just looked up at her frightened and still crying. Pinkie shoved a cupcake in her mouth. Then she lay next to her and put her hoof around her, “Everything will be just fine.”
“Pinkie Pie! How dare you comfort her after all of this!” Zecora fumed in disbelief, “How much of her story did you miss?!”
“Oh, I only heard the ending of what she said,” she said, “I heard the rest of it from her father!”
Bulla freezed.
“Bulla!”
Everyone heard the most adorable voice and turned to the door. Fluttershy was there with Rainbow Dash behind her. Fluttershy knelt down, and a pink filly in a tutu jumped off her back. It stormed over to Bulla. Bulla tried to bury herself under Pinkie Pie, but she nuzzled her. “It’s alright. I’m right here.”
Everyone glanced back and forth between her and the new filly trying to figure out why she was so scared of her.
“Are you hurt Bulla?” it asked sternly.
“No…” she mumbled.
“Good,” the pink filly said before taking a large breath.
“YOU ARE GROUNDED!” she shouted, “GROUNDED! GROUNDED! GROUNDED!” she took another breath, “WHEN WE GET HOME I AM GOING TO TAKE AWAY ALL YOUR TOYS AND HAVE A LONG TALK WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
“Daddy, I’m sorry…” Bulla whimpered.
“WHAT?!” the four shouted.
Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash just nodded.
Rarity fainted again.
“Not as sorry as you’re going to be!” Vegeta said slightly softer, “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through trying to find you?! I’ve been turned into a horse! Lost my powers! Gotten chased by monsters from what nightmares are made of several times! Fell off a cliff! And got turned into a ballerina by a sentient plant!”
“Miss Zecora,” Fluttershy began, “His Majesty, Prince Vegeta got into some poison joke. He will need a bath and a doctor, he’s actually hurt underneath…”
“No!” Bulla shouted, surprising everyone. She stood and glared down Vegeta, now half her height. “You are not a prince! I won’t have you lie to my friends!”
“Lies… Oh dear…” Fluttershy mumbled what everyone else was thinking.
“And what makes you think I’m not a prince?” Vegeta shouted up at his daughter, “You must have heard this before since you’re not surprised.”
“I heard it from Trunks!” Bulla shouted, “And I don’t believe it! Princes are supposed to be tall, handsome, nice, friendly, and you’re the exact opposite!”
“And if the real world was like your cartoons, WE WOULDN’T BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION, NOW…” suddenly Vegeta stopped.
He looked around. “There’s someone else here… Show yourself!”
“Well. Well. Aren’t we perceptive?”
Bulla smiled, “Discord!”
“Hmmm… I doubt anyone here told you my name,” he came out of the ceiling.
“Discord! If this is one of you’ve dag gone pranks, it ain’t funny!” Applejack shouted.
“Me? I’m just as dumbfounded as you are,” he said innocently, “But there is one thing that cannot be denied.” He floated in front of Vegeta’s face, “You’re the one I felt! That great surge of chaos that exploded from the forest. This poison prank can’t hide you from me. I can see it in your eyes.”
Vegeta lowered his head and braced for a fight, “Bulla what is this thing?”
“It’s just Discord, Daddy! Don’t hurt him!” Bulla yelled.
“Ah. The violence. The hatred. What greater chaos to add to this world of peace and tranquility than to add a god of war to the pantheon.”
Vegeta’s ears twitched.
“Hmmm,” Discord said almost disappointed, “Seems you haven’t mastered the art of lying yet in your new body.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Speaking of pantheon,” he turned to Twilight, “Princess Twilight, no need to send a letter. I’ll go tell Princess Celestia and Luna we found him. Just get the doctors ready. The joke can only numb the pain for so long.” He vanished.
Vegeta’s legs began to give out. He lay down.
It became apparent to everyone but Bulla that Vegeta was controlling his breathing to mask the dizziness. His head wobbled.
“I’ll go get the herbs,” Zecora said, running past Rainbow Dash on the stairway.
Fluttershy came and lowered her wing, “Come on Prince Vegeta.”
Vegeta climbed up.
“Ok, let’s keep him talking,” Pinkie Pie said standing. “Oh! I know,” she bounced next to Fluttershy, “Tell us about your first day on Earth! You said you’re not…” her voice disappeared with her down the stairs.
Bulla just stood there scared and confused. She felt a hoof over her. She looked up and saw Rarity.
“Come,” she said.
~~***~~
“Water. Water. Water. Water,” Twilight said, dumping several buckets at once over and over again with her magic into the same tub they used. Applejack was ponying the pump. Pinkie Pie was bouncing around Fluttershy while provoking Vegeta into an argument.
“I’m back!” Rainbow Dash said, landing at the spa door. Behind her was a pony drawn wagon with a red cross painted on it.
“Oh don’t tell me that’s what qualifies as an ambulance around here!” Vegeta said pointing.
“Hmp, well aren’t you rude,” Dr. Stable said walking over, “So from what I’ve been told, you’re actually not a pony but was turned into one by a spell and your current form is not from the spell itself but from a run in with poison joke?”
“That about sums it up,” Vegeta glared at him.
Nurse Redheart and Nurse Snowheart came to back him up.
“We were also told you believe you have a dislocated wing, anything else?” he asked.
“I fell down a fucking cliff!” Vegeta shouted, “What do you think I did?!”
While Vegeta endeared himself to the hospital staff, Bulla sniffled next to Rarity.
“Is Daddy really hurt?” she asked suddenly, looking up at Rarity.
“He seems to be. Why do you ask?” Rarity looked down.
“But Daddy is just as strong as Gohan… and he never gets hurt. He always runs into things to save people who are hurt really bad and he’s always fine.”
“Everypony is capable of being hurt, Bulla,” Rarity said, “Did you honestly think your daddy was invincible?”
Bulla lay on the ground and sulked, pawing at the dirt.
“WHAT TYPE OF MAGIC DID YOU USE ON ME!”
“We told you, Sister!”
Everyone ran outside and saw Princess Celestia and Princess Luna with their hair frazzled yelling at Discord.
“Princesses!” everyone shouted and quickly bowed. Fluttershy did so out of instinct, and Vegeta quickly tumbled off her onto the ground.
“Oh! Prince Vegeta, I’m so sorry!” she said at a normal volume catching everyone’s attention.
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna looked over. They saw the injured pink filly on the ground and a white unicorn filly with blue hair huddling next to Rarity.
“That looks like the image from the dream you entered, doesn't it?” Celestia whispered, fixing her mane with magic.
“Yes, that must be Bulla,” Luna said, doing the same.
Celestia turned to Discord, “That pink filly, is the girl’s father?”
“Yes, Celestia.”
“Sister, go to the girl. I will be with the father,” she ordered.
They nodded to each other, then split off.
“Ok, I see how it is…” Discord said, crossing his arms.
Luna walked over to Rarity. Bulla promptly hid under her legs.
“Bulla,” Rarity scolded her. “Princess,” she bowed.
Luna nodded, then lowered her head. “You are Bulla?” she said softly.
Bulla nodded slowly.
She smiled, “It is all right, little one. No need to be afraid.”
“You’re not mad?” she shivered, “Everyone else is.”
“If you are worried about what Discord said to us, there is no such need. Once the joke is washed from your father thou shalt travel by carriage to the castle. You in my carriage, and your father with Celestia.”
“But you didn’t come by carriage?” Bulla asked.
“When we heard thy father was injured, we came by magic. But the carriages are coming. No need to fear.”
While Luna comforted Bulla, Celestia walked over to Fluttershy and Vegeta. A golden glow picked Vegeta up to his surprise and placed him back on Fluttershy’s back.
“Do you know who I am?” she asked, looking down at him wearily.
Vegeta saw the doctor and his nurses back away and could feel Fluttershy tremble beneath him.
“You are the ruler of this land,” he said.
“Correct,” she said, “And you are royalty as well, I have heard.”
“I am by birth,” Vegeta said, “But the kingdom I was to inherit was destroyed when I was a boy. The power I now wield is by my own hand.”
“And what have you gained?” She eyed him.
“I am a Z-Fighter, an elite warrior unit that spans both race and kingdom,” Vegeta lowered his head, “Your fear is not unexpected. But I will not allow retaliation against my daughter.”
“Your daughter is an innocent heart,” Celestia leaned her head into Fluttershy’s wings. “You however, are anything but,” she said softly, “Discord has seen your heart, and your daughter’s nightmares speak volumes of you.”
Vegeta looked up surprised and his ears pinned back.
Celestia raised her head. “My carriage is on the way. Once you are treated, you shall be my honored guest at the palace.”
“A gilded cage then?” he hissed sarcastically.
“For now,” Celestia said before walking over to the medical staff.
Fluttershy’s accelerated trembling was anything but reassuring as Vegeta sulked on her back.
“The bath is ready!” Lotus Blossom shouted from stirring the water.
Everyone returned to the tub. Fluttershy climbed the stairs and knelt. Vegeta hopped down from her back.
“You expect me to jump into water this deep? I’ll drown!” he shouted
“No you won’t! I came prepared!” Pinkie Pie tackled him.
“Hey!”
“Will you stop squirming!” Pinkie Pie backed away, “There you go!”
Vegeta was now dressed in a mask with snorkel, a rubber ducky inflatable ring, floaties on his front legs, and flippers on all four hooves.
Everyone snickered trying not to laugh. Discord was not so subtle.
Vegeta glared at this… thing… floating in midair on his back laughing with one paw on his head, the claw pointing at him. He ground the mouthpiece of the snorkel in his teeth.
Vegeta then promptly hopped in the water.
He did not surface, only bubbles. Then the bubbles stopped.
“Vegeta?!” Pinkie shouted. “Come on, Mr. Ducky!”
Suddenly the water darkened. Then it roared to a boil. Uncontrolled ribbons of black magic rose from the water and formed a tornado that began to rip up the spa.
“Everyone out!” Twilight shouted and everyone ran.
As the last exited, flames erupted in the dark tornado.
“Sister! The nightmare!” Luna shouted.
Then the storm dissipated and they witnessed a blank unicorn rear up, whinnying a piercing scream as about half the water leapt from the tub. As the water descended, it revealed a large back wing opening wide.
“An Alicorn?!” the adults shouted.
“Good Celestia! He was telling the truth?!” Dr. Stable said in disbelief.
“Luna? Is he?” Celestia asked
“Yes, that’s the Alicorn from yesterday.”
Back in the spa, Vegeta clung to the side of the tub gasping and coughing loudly.
“Pinkie! That snorkel sucked! You trying to kill me?!” he shouted after several deep hees and haws.
Then Vegeta noticed the room overturned and several small fires. He spotted the ponies at the door and windows, visibly shaken to say the least.
“Eh oh…” Vegeta thought. Vegeta took his hooves off the side and stood in the tub. “That wasn’t on purpose,” he said.
~~***~~
Vegeta stood in the tub while everyone put out the smoldering wreckage.
“Prince Vegeta!” Dr. Stable said, “Get out of the water and come help! The only thing wrong with you is that lame wing.”
“After everything I’ve been through, I’m making sure everything is in the proper location!” he said defensively.
“Oh! My poor spa!” Aloe shouted. She climbed the steps, “You’re going to pay for this mister… Ah!!!!” She gasped, putting her hooves over her mouth and fell backwards. “Why are you sitting there? Get out of the water!”
Nurse Redheart ran up onto the platform. “Why didn’t you just say you didn’t have the strength?! Nurse Snowheart! Get the blood kit! We need to find his blood type!”
It was Dr. Stable’s turn to climb the steps. Then his brown magic descended into the tub.
“I’ll walk out under my own power, THANK YOU!” Vegeta shouted.
Vegeta felt the eyes of the world on him as he slowly climbed the stairs out of the tub. Other than his severe weakness, no one could see what the desperation was. Vegeta slipped and slid in the water as he slowly walked across the platform. Then he tumbled down the stairs and landed with a sickening smack obviously breaking what was his good wing.
Everyone saw the red water smeared over the steps. His dark fur had hidden his bleeding.
“Daddy!” Bulla ran from Rarity’s side and stopped in front of him.
Vegeta lifted his head and looked at his bawling daughter. He snorted as he breathed, sprinkling her pristine white coat with droplets of blood. Then he twisted his facial muscles into what he hoped was a smile.
“Remember this emotion, Bulla… It will serve you well in your long life…”
His eyes dilated and his head fell to the floor.
“Daddy! Daddy! … Daddy!” was the last thing he remembered.
Chapter 21: Everything Falling Apart
Chapter 21: Everything Falling Apart
“That’s good to hear, Luna,” Celestia said sitting at her desk, “And Discord?”
“He has regained movement of his hands, but cannot lift his arms without screaming in pain. Doctors are also reporting he is talking to himself excessively and are worried about his mental state.”
Celestia sighed and rubbed her temples, “Not the harmony mage again…”
“Sister, we understand the trepidation, but there is nothing we can do about this pony at the moment. If they were dangerous, Discord would be the first to raise the alarm.”
Celestia sighed and dropped her hooves on the desk, “I know…”
Luna giggled, “You sound like a whining filly.” She stopped laughing. “But sister, Vegeta wishes to be informed on why Pinkie was wounded. We know we cannot be involved, so we will leave for our quarters and wait for moonrise.”
“No,” Celestia said. “Go stay with the girls and Bulla. I’m sure they have not been able to keep these events to themselves.”
“Truth, Lady Rainbow Dash and Applejack have no mask. We will check on them at once.”
Luna turned around and left the room.
Celestia sighed. She looked at the stack of papers from the incident all over her desk.
“Guard!” she called out.
One poked his head in the door, “Yes, sire?”
“Go fetch the ducal couple and Bocce from their chambers.”
“Yes, sire.” He saluted and left.
~~***~~
“You wished to see us, your majesty?” Fancy Pants bowed.
Fleur dis Lee and Bocce bowed as well, with Bocce shaking like a maraca.
“Yes, I have a favor to ask the three of you. It is possible to refuse. You may rise.”
The three stood up.
“Prince Vegeta has finally awaked. You three are aware he nearly lost his life to save Pinkie?”
“A dark mage… died…” Bocce mumbled.
“We were aware he was unconscious, but not that his life was in danger,” Fancy Pants said.
“Yes, he took a drastic turn for the worse after you witnessed my sister’s joy at his sudden improvement. I will get down to the point. He wishes to know what happened to Pinkie, and I believe a simple conversation will satisfy him.”
“You… wish us to talk to the dark mage?” Fancy Pants gasped. “My lady, you know the consequences for us when this leaks?”
“Yes, I am aware of the utter failure to keep anything that has happened today a secret,” she said gently, “Which is why I am asking, not ordering.”
“I…” Bocce stuttered. “I…. would like to meet him! Ju…. Just once…. To say thank you.”
“Fancy,” Fleur leaned into him, “Surely we can simply stand in the hallway while Bocce gives a simple thanks.”
“He sighed, “Fine. But as your lawyer, keep things simple and quick.”
~~***~~
Fancy Pants, Fleur dis Lee, and Bocce waited in the hall.
“Prince Vegeta,” Celestia stepped in the room, “Are you awake?”
“I am now… What’s up?”
“The pony Pinkie saved has agreed to talk to you,” Celestia said. “Will you greet him?”
“Yes! Yes, of course! Bring him in here.”
“Bocce, you may enter.”
Bocce entered the room, and was startled by the giant mass of plaster case. “By the sun?! What happened to you?!”
“The Everfree Forest…” Vegeta rolled his eyes, “broke almost every bone in my body. Now get over here where I can see you.”
Bocce swallowed and tiptoed over. He looked slack jawed at Vegeta.
Vegeta raised an eyebrow. “What? Not what you expected?” He chuckled, “Did you expect a flaming skull surrounded by hellfire?”
“Prince Vegeta, watch your sarcasm,” Celestia scolded.
“Umm… yeah. Actually…”
“Well, you have nothing to fear from me.” Then he looked over himself, “Especially currently.” He looked back at Bocce. “Your name is Bocce, correct?”
“Yes, sire.”
“Vegeta is fine. My title is just an artifact of my birth. I gave up all power to run off with a wealthy merchant’s daughter and joined their familial house.”
“So… So you're technically a peasant?”
“Don’t get me wrong. My wife’s family is so wealthy and influential that if I had married into the royal family, it would have been a serious downgrade in power and status, but if you want to get technical, yes, I am considered a peasant in my wife’s country.”
“A peasant family more powerful than royalty?”
“I’m sure it’s hard to understand, but yes. Much more powerful. The country would collapse without my wife’s family. The phase ‘Too big to fail’ exists for merchant companies that become so powerful they become de facto rulers in their own right.”
At this point Fancy Pants and Fleur stuck their heads in just to confirm their ears. Bocce looked up at Celestia.
She nodded, “He speaks the truth. Isn’t your own family the newest member of the Golden Circle in Las Pegasus, Bocce Boules? You also have marital ties to the Millionaire Row of Manehatten, if I’m not mistaken.”
“…Yes… how much do you actually know about me?”
Celestia lowered her head and smiled into his face. “One of the Great Bearers nearly died saving you from assassination inside a Ducal mansion. You think we wouldn’t want to know exactly who you were, young Bocce?”
He shrank and shivered. “…no… ma’am…”
Celestia raised her head, continuing to smile at him the entire time.
Vegeta grimaced and pinned his ears back. “And I thought my mother-in-law had a creepy, all-knowing smile…”
Celestia turned her smile to Vegeta. “Continue, young Bocce.”
Bocce looked at Vegeta, who was suddenly not the scariest thing in the room. “Well, I’m in charge of my family’s properties in Ponyville. And I met a mare named Sea Swirl. We were together three years and I was about to propose to her. Then she disappeared. Almost a year later, I got a letter. She said she was actually a daughter of a low-ranking noble family, and that she was pregnant. Her parents had locked her up in the house and were planning to dump the baby and pretend it never happened and needed help. I went to my father with the letter and he disowned me right there and had me dumped in the desert outside the city limits by the police. I was found by a bison tribe who took me to the nearest town with a train station.
“But anyway… three months ago, she escaped and was at the Canterlot train station to go to Manehatten to hide with my aunt. She went into labor and gave birth on the platform. My daughter survived despite being so premature. But since then, her family has been blacklisted and will go bankrupt on Monday. She’s…. has a stalker, since prep school, someone named Blarney.” He looked at the door. “Duke Fancy Pants says he’s part of another Ducal house, second only to the princesses.” He looked back at Vegeta, “We tried again today, but got caught. Duke Fancy Pants said they have influence over the police and courts in the city. She’s being held prisoner now. He’s about to buy out her family and force the marriage. We have until tomorrow to beat their price to take control of her family’s company instead.”
Vegeta lowered his eyebrows, “Do you know how much money you need?”
“We were trying to figure that out when… when…” he started to cry. “We were next to a balcony with open doors for the breeze…” Bocce lay down and put his hooves over his eyes, “It was so fast…”
“Stand up,” Vegeta said. “If this Blarney went out of his way to hire assassins to kill you, it means you actually have a clear chance to succeed. Take that to courage and think about your mate and child.”
Bocce took his hooves off his eyes.
“I said… STAND UP!” Vegeta barked.
Bocce jumped to his feet.
“Now…” Vegeta asked, softening his tone. “Did you figure out how much money?”
Bocce shook his head.
“So… how were you going about it?”
“A sto… stock split… the baby…”
“Alright, that’s enough,” Fancy Pants suddenly stepped in the room. “You’ve compromised your legal standing enough just by stepping into this room. You cannot now take advice from a blooming dark mage, forgive my language, princess.”
She nodded. “Of course.”
“And you are?”
“Duke Fancy Pants, and also lawyer for this young man.”
“So the murder attempt happened in your home?”
“There is no need to explain further,” he said curtly. “By your leave, princess.”
Celestia nodded.
Vegeta saw Bocce suddenly get surrounded by magic and floated forcefully out of the room.
“I hope these answers solve things for you,” Celestia said. She turned to leave.
“Celestia! Wait a moment,” Vegeta called out.
“Vegeta, I understand your desire to help, but Duke Fancy Pants is correct on this matter. The best thing you can do is stay away.”
“Can I just say one thing?”
“You just did,” Celestia said as she stepped out of the room.
Celestia paused briefly when she heard Vegeta’s screams of rage echo through the halls before she continued on.
~~***~~
Princess Cadence stuck her head out of Discord’s door after Celestia passed by. Then once she was out of sight, she went to Vegeta’s room.
“And what was this latest tantrum about?” she said, lighting her horn as she entered.
Vegeta lifted his head. “Princess Cadence?! Oh, thank goodness. I need to talk to someone reasonable here. And yes, I know you shot me. Please hear me out.”
Cadence looked confused but did not stop the magic in her horn as she walked around the bed.
“What is it that you want?”
“I was just talking to the people-ponies involved in Pinkie being shot. But I wasn’t even able to say anything back. There is a giant fucking hole in their plan and its going to get someone killed in the next few days.”
Cadence sighed annoyed, “Alright, I’ll hear you out.”
“This is all over a young noblewoman trying to elope with her lover over a higher ranking sutor. They have been caught before, and now there is a newborn involved. The marriage is being forced through tomorrow and the father was the pony Pinkie shoved out of the way in an assassination attempt.”
Cadence’s jaw dropped. “And what is Princess Celestia doing about this?”
“Absolutely nothing as far as I know.”
Vegeta was surprised when Cadence dropped the glow from her horn. “Ok, tell me everything…”
~~***~~
A few minutes later…
“I see,” Cadence said. “Now what is it you wanted to say?”
“This Blarney is buying out the family through some kind of company. I assume from stock split it means they were calculating the price including the baby’s shares. The baby that was going to be thrown in the trash if she hadn’t escaped and basically miscarried publicly. Is there even a birth certificate? Is the baby in the family registry? Why would they give any recognition to the garbage that destroyed their wealth and power?”
“You think there hasn’t been a stock split. Which means they wouldn’t be buying enough to stop the takeover. But even so, buying the company won’t necessarily stop the marriage.”
“Princess, tell me, does the royal family have higher jurisdiction when it comes to performing marriages?”
“You want one of us to marry the parents by force? Equestria is not a dictatorship, the princesses are just as under the law as everypony else.”
“But can they be married tonight?”
“It will probably be thrown out in court.”
“And how long will that take?”
“And destroy the reputation of the palace? If this is who I think it is, he’s descended from the old unicorn royal family before Celestia. The Marquess of Folderol and Dukes of Gleaning are not to be messed with. Celestia is not going to risk it. Her stewardship is the only reason the three of us have any influence at all.”
“Luna said you are a foreign empress.”
“I am a princess of Equestria. I was installed as ruler of the empire after the fall of King Sombra, the last dark mage to plague this land.”
Vegeta closed his eyes, “I see. So it is a puppet government.” He opened his eyes. “So, empress, are you perfectly ok with Pinkie being permanently disabled for nothing? Bocce is not going to live much longer, and the newborn won’t survive the week if the marriage goes through.”
“It’s not uncommon for a noble to claim parentage after the fact if the parents disagree with the marriage.”
“This couple lived in Ponyville, for years, and got pregnant there. You're saying some stranger walked into that town without being noticed, raped the female half of a young, prominent wealthy couple where if you scream on one end of town everyone can hear you clearly on the other, then left without being lynched by an angry mob? Don’t make me laugh. No one is going to believe it. That baby is as dead as her father.”
Cadence briefly closed her eyes and lowered her head slightly. She raised it, “I know you’re only so invested because of Pinkie Pie. But I will bring up your concerns.”
“Thank you.”
“But before I go, what would you do if you weren’t bed bound?”
“Abduct the family and hide them until we could get them off world. Once safely on Earth, we could make moves against the assassins without worrying about their safety.” He paused, “Could also just buy out the entire company. I’m sure my father-in-law would love the business opportunity on another planet.”
“You would have to put in a royal lien to pull that off.”
“What’s a royal lien?”
“Nobles get dibs on any sale. Even stripping out nobles of lesser rank. It is an old system, but there are still spoiled ponies who do it if they get beat at auction or if they want neighboring property for a new swimming pool. I remember when I was first brought to the city, an entire section of the city was taken by a noble’s lien. Made thousands homeless.”
“And Celestia did nothing?”
“It’s the law of the land, as she said.”
“How long does a lien last until it is canceled by nonpayment?”
“Why?”
Vegeta smirked, “Like I said. My family would be interested in business dealings with this nation.”
~~***~~
“A LIEN?!” Celestia shouted as she stood from her desk. “Cadence! How could you?!”
“It’s not like you would ever grant it to a foreign power.”
“Cadence… You do know that the law states that any alicorn is automatically a royal of Equestria?”
“Even him?!” she pointed towards that wing of the castle.
“The law does not specify the pony’s race beforehand…” Celestia sat back down. “The limit is one month from the declaring of the lien… but the public—”
"Princess Celestia!” A soldier ran into the room floating a folded newspaper. He plopped it on the desk. “There are pegasi newsies everywhere in the sky blanketing the entire city with this edition. Thousands and thousands of copies littering the ground everywhere.”
“Princess Luna betrays Equestria for dark mage. Possible return of Nightmare Moon?!” Celestia stood so fast her chair slid back. “What the buck?!” She scanned the first few paragraphs. “Captain Spearchucker, you fool.”
“Do you want to start making arrests?” The guard asked.
Celestia took a deep breath. “No. No, it’s far too late for that. It would only make things worse. Like we had something to hide.” She looked at the guard, “You found this outside the castle walls?”
“No, inside. Seems some of the newsies hid in clouds and peppered the palace. We’ve collected 43 so far, but we don’t know how many they tossed before they were noticed.”
Celestia gasped, then teleported.
~~***~~
Celestia landed outside Bulla's room, and could hear the commotion. Celestia threw open the door, almost ripping it off its hinges.
“Ima gonna buck these bastards into next week!”
“Not if I get done with them first. AJ!” Dash shouted back.
While Rainbow Dash and Applejack looked like they were about to get in an argument over who would get to beat up who, Twilight was spinning in a circle in one of her panic attacks.
Luna was sobbing, being hugged by Fluttershy and Bulla.
“It is ok, Princess Luna. All the adults think you’re Best Pony,” Bulla said.
"Luna!” Celestia galloped into the room. She hugged her sister. “Don’t worry. We will fix this.”
“We don’t see how sister…” she bawled.
Cadence teleported into the room holding a paper in her magic. “Princess! I caught the staff reading… I see you already know.”
Luna wiped her eyes as Celestia stood. “Yes, we know.”
“How are we going to counter this?” Cadence asked.
“We will need to read this carefully and come up with rebuttals for a public statement.”
“As if anyone would believe us,” Luna cried.
“Luna has a point,” AJ said. “This ain’t just about Princess Luna. The main thing is about Vegeta.”
“Can’t we just say Daddy is scary but not bad?” Bulla asked. “Fluttershy said the story is that Daddy is bad and Luna is friends with him so she must be bad too.”
“That is one road we could take,” Celestia said, “albeit the most difficult option.”
A guard came into the room, “Forgive the interruption princesses, but Duke Fancy Pants is asking for an urgent audience concerning the news special edition.”
“Wait… Have we been spoiled for the case by what’s inside?” Luna looked up at Celestia.
Celestia grabbed a newspaper and looked at the title page, “I only skimmed the first few paragraphs. Where did you see that information?”
“Page 8, we believe.”
“So it continues on page 8?” She said as she began counting the pages.
“Princess Celestia,” Cadence said. “It’s the entire edition. Not a cover story. It’s all 21 pages.”
Everyone could see Celestia’s heart drop on her face as she took the newspaper and began turning the pages one by one.
“Oh no… it mentions Duke Fancy Pants by name…”
~~***~~
“I can’t believe Poppycock turned this around so perfectly on us,” Fancy Pants said, pacing back and forth. He stopped and pointed at Celestia, “Princess, I demand you correct this fallacy at once!”
“I have every intention to,” Celestia said.
Suddenly a scroll popped in front of Celestia’s face.
Fancy Pant’s ears fell when he saw the Bar Guild’s seal.
Celestia’s ears also drooped as she read it. “It says your law license has been suspended pending an ethics investigation. And any evidence of crimes will be forwarded to law enforcement.”
“And let me guess. The names listed are all allies of Duke Poppycock?”
“Blarney is listed as the one overseeing everything, yes.”
“Princess Celestia,” A guard ran in and saluted. “There is a standoff happening between the city and palace guards.” He floated over a letter, “A warrant for the arrest of a Bocce Boules for the attempted assassination of Lady Pinkie Pie and high treason.”
Celestia stood up.
“What?! By whose authority?!”
“It is signed by Judge Blackstone.”
“But it did not even occur in his jurisdiction!”
“Oh no…” Fancy Pants said. “Princess, I feel Bocce is being set up as a sacrificial lamb.”
Celestia gasped and put her foot to her mouth. She quickly regained her composure. “Guard, leave us. Tell the city guards we are reviewing the documents.”
“Yes, sire.” He left.
“So we either turn over Bocce and let this miscarriage play through,” Fancy Pants said. “Or we dig ourselves into a massive hole by admitting the truth.”
“It would also expose our intelligence methods to the Gryphon Empire. And that it was Prince Vegeta who recognized the weapon when we call it by the words in his language. We don’t even know its name in griffean.”
“That a weapon exists that creates fatal wounds that can’t be healed will also send the public into a panic…” Fancy Pants sighed. “Looks like we have no choice but to let them take the boy and kill him.”
Celestia looked at him confused before realization entered her eyes. “Yes… with the griffons already having struck once. This is just to get him in a cage he can’t escape from…”
Suddenly Celestia smiled. “Wait… That’s it!”
~~***~~
“Princess Celestia, this is highly unusual.”
“You are the one who charged him with assassination and high treason, Judge Blackstone,” Celestia said standing in front of his bench. “As such he is a political prisoner and belongs in the crystal dungeons under the castle.”
“Also,” she continued, “I expect to see the evidence you were given to issue this warrant. There must be something the palace has missed in our own investigation that would sway you to such an extreme decision.”
“Arrangements will be made. But as it is my understanding that your evidence comes from those associated with black magic, no judge in Equestria would ever allow such evidence in court. Not only is it immediately invalid by law, it would lead to a unanimous conviction if presented to a jury.”
He smiled, “And with current events, I’m sure the royal family is already swamped.”
Celestia gave a masking smile, “I thank you for your concern. But everything is under control.” Celestia turned around to walk out, “I expect your documents at the end of the second hour.”
~~***~~
Down below the palace, Bocce is in a cell. It is a large cell and plush furniture and privacy screens were added to make it comfortable, but the bars did nothing to calm his mind.
~~***~~
Out in the city, Cadence and Twilight teleported in front of the city offices.
Cadence fluttered her wings to flatten her feathers. “You ready, Twilight?”
“As I’ll ever be…”
~~***~~
The two walked in and everyone froze. They joined the counter line, but everyone quickly stepped aside insisting they go first.
Twilight awkwardly kept saying thank you and Cadence strode confidently up to the front.
“How may I help you princesses?”
“We are searching for information that should be in the city’s citizen registry. We kindly insist to be escorted to the hall.”
“Yes… of course. Let me get a staff member to assist you.”
~~***~~
The two were escorted into the large hall by a staff member and a group of city guards.
Twilight spun at the mountains of books and documents.
“This is amazing!”
“Twilight. Focus,” Cadence said harshly.
Twilight stopped in her tracks.
“So, may I ask what it is you're looking for?” the staff member asked.
“We can do so ourselves,” Cadence asked. She looked to Twilight.
“Princess Twilight, your search spell.”
“Yes!” Twilight lit up her horn and a wall of magic swept the room.
Many books and scrolls lit up purple.
The staff looked dumbfounded at the glowing books.
“The search magic will light up any document in range that has the words I think about on it,” she said, proud of herself.
The staff member saw where most of the documents were concentrated.
“Are you looking for a birth certificate, your majesties?”
“That’s none of your business. Twilight, teleport all marked documents here.”
Twilight lit her horn again, and a huge pile of books, scrolls and loose documents appeared on the tables.
“Already sorted by date,” she smiled.
The staff member noticed some old books. “Did you scan the whole building? Those look like old doomsday books from the founding of the capital.”
“Yep!” Twilight beamed.
“You all may stand by the door. And do not disturb us,” Cadence said sternly. She turned around, “Princess Twilight, come.”
Twilight immediately went to the pile of modern documents. But Cadence did not join her.
Twilight saw Cadence go over to the old books at another table.
“Twilight, can you cast the search spell on these again?”
“Oh, yes!” Twilight said enthusiastically.
She cast the spell again, and all but one book lit up in whole. The remaining book only lit up in a thin strip.
Cadence opened that book, and pulled out a modern document.
“Wait, how did a modern birth certificate get into an ancient book?”
“Because someone hid it, Twilight.” She held it up for her to read. “Look for documents containing this extra information.”
Twilight nodded, then cast a third time.
A single light lit up in a stack of papers.
Twilight pulled it out. “It’s a stillborn record. But how can there be a stillborn certificate and a live birth certificate for the same baby?” Twilight scanned them with a different spell. “They both have the royal magical seal on them. So they are both official. I don’t get it.”
“Here let me see that,” Cadence said, gently taking the stillborn certificate in her magic.
Suddenly they popped away.
Cadence turned to the guards. “You will be hearing from the palace soon about this strange indiscretion.”
Cadence teleported.
“Wait! Cadence!” Twilight followed.
~~***~~
They both arrived in the palace.
“Cadence! What is this about? I don’t get it?”
“You’ll understand soon, Twilight,” she said, turning into a hallway.
“Isn’t this the royal guest suites in the Lunar tower?”
Cadence walked over to the guards at the first door. “Announce us to Duke Fancy Pants and Duchess Fleur dis Lee, please.”
The guards saluted, and the one on the right entered the suite. He quickly returned and the two princesses entered.
“Hello, Duke Fancy Pants. It has been a while.”
“I wish it was under better circumstances,” he said as the two bowed.
She looked at the table, “Doing the math to buy out Viscount Trident?”
He sighed, “With Princess Celestia protecting young Bocce in the crystal dungeons while she works out the optics of the situation, it seemed prudent not to give up.”
Cadence poofed the two documents in front of her. “I am sorry to inform you, you will need to redo your calculations.”
She floated over the documents. “The baby is publicly listed in the family registries as stillborn, while a live birth certificate was discovered hidden in a doomsday book deep in the archives.”
Fancy Pants took the papers in his magic. “They both have legitimate seals on them.”
“That’s what I don’t get?! How? Will someone please tell me what’s going on here?”
“Corruption, summer child. Pure corruption,” Fancy Pants said. “Wait…” Fancy Pants put the papers down and went to the piles of papers neatly stacked on the floor.
He split a stack and pulled out several papers, “If the baby is publicly listed as stillborn, that means these documents are fake!”
Twilight walked over, “Can I see those for a moment?”
Twilight took the documents and casted a spell on them.
Suddenly glowing purple letters appeared. “These aren’t forgeries… Someone cast illusion magic on these pages! But how?! The royal seal is a preservation spell. Immutable!”
“Princess Twilight, can you copy what the actual script is on these pages?” Fancy pants asked. “We will need to preserve the spell for evidence.”
Twilight poofed scroll and quill in the air. “Yes.”
A few minutes later, everyone is sitting at the table.
“Ok, there’s nothing special in these pages,” Fancy Pants said, putting the copies down, “Just a continuation of the previous.
“So…” he continued, “Not only was there no stock split, there also was no issuance of new stocks in the weeks prior.”
Twilight was scribbling notes. “Wait, a fake stock split would make you pay less than needed, but a fake issuance would make you pay more! I don’t get it…”
“But does the combination give a net loss?”
“… Yes, but only by a single bit.”
“Then it was designed to make us spend as much as possible while still losing.”
“And if you decided to buy more? This is just the minimum?”
“Then it would go a long way to bankrupt us. I’m sure there are auxiliary plans in place if they went so far as bribing notaries.”
Twilight hung her head.
Suddenly a guard came in. “Announcing Princess Celestia.”
Celestia came in. “Hello, oh… Princess Cadence, Princess Twilight? Why are…”
Celestia darted up to the table.
“Are you ok Twilight? You look like you want to cry?” she asked, putting her arm over her shoulder.
Twilight broke down and started to cry burying her face into her fur.
Celestia looked at the group, “What has happened?”
~~***~~
Celestia looked over the papers as Cadence took her turn at comforting Twilight.
“I understand your emotions, dear Twilight. This is distressing to me as well.” She cast a spell on the papers. “There. The illusion spell had a timer set to magic consumption. This will lengthen the spell while noting when the original pool runs out.”
She put the papers down. “Good work thinking of checking the birth certificates, Cadence, Twilight. How did you think of it?”
“It was all Cadence,” Twilight said, pointing at her.
Everyone looked expectantly at her.
“It was actually Vegeta,” she sighed, “After I heard him scream and saw all of you leaving his room, Princess Celestia, I went to see what his latest tantrum was. He was adamant in his logic that the baby was not included in any ownership and both the baby and her father’s lives were in immediate danger.”
“Great…” Fancy Pants sighed frustrated, “More of the dark mage…”
“I originally went to prove him wrong,” she continued. “But the second Twilight’s spell teleported an old doomsday book, I knew he was right.”
“Yes,” Celestia said, “Bocce’s enemies are moving swiftly using our own justice system against us. I’ve managed to buy some time, but he will die shortly if things continue like this.” She looked at Twilight, “Twilight, you will need to testify about this new spell of yours in court and how you created it. Please tell us so we can prepare.”
“I came up with it after visiting Earth. They have a thing they call Google. You enter a few words into a device called a computer and it collects all manuscripts containing those words instantly.”
“Sounds like an interesting artifact,” Fleur dis Lee said, “I’m sure it will make a good item for import.”
Twilight shook her head. “It doesn’t use magic at all. Earth has no magic that I saw on my trip. We all thought no magic existed there at all until Prince Vegeta and Bulla came.”
“You’ve been to the country the dark mage comes from?!” Fancy Pants exclaimed standing up.
“Yes...?”
“Duke,” Celestia said harshly.
“My apologies princesses,” he said, picking up his chair and sitting back down.
Celestia closed her eyes and rubbed her nose, “This greatly complicates things. Especially that you are physically incapable of lying convincingly, Twilight.”
“You want me to lie under oath?!”
Celestia ignored the outburst.
“Fancy Pants, how much money will it take to secure a controlling interest in the company?”
“Originally, all the liquidity I have,” he said. “But with this new information, I can guess it was designed to bankrupt me even without doing the math.”
“True… Then we must find other means to rescue Bocce and his family…”
“I know my husband will disagree,” Fleur said. “But the dark mage has had perfect insight into this fiasco.” She looked at Twilight, “and with diplomatic contact preexisting between our countries, he is involved whether we like it or not.” She turned to her husband, “Unless you wish Bocce to die and Lady Sea Swirl to be callously sold to her stalker. You know that stallion’s reputation.”
“What reputation is this?” Celestia asked.
It was clear from her tone she already knew, but wanted confirmation.
Fleur hesitated, “Well, you didn’t hear this from me. But mares tend to disappear from the cabaret clubs he frequents and he is deeply involved in the working of the orphanages he founded that specialize in young fillies.”
“Why are you saying his founding of orphanages is a bad thing?” Twilight said. “That sounds wonderful. His generosity should earn a medal.”
Everyone looked at her.
“What?”
Fancy Pants sighed. “Fleur is trying to hint at pedophilia without outright accusing the stallion. You have a lot of learning to do on how to converse in noble society,” he said, rubbing his head.
“What’s pedophilia?”
Everyone focused on her again.
“What?!”
~~***~~
Back in the hospital wing, Vegeta, Discord, and Pinkie have been shoved into the same room.
“And that’s the last page,” Pinkie said, folding the newspaper. “Bunch of meanie liars!”
“Fucking hell…” Vegeta put his head back on his pillow.
“Agreed,” Discord said, “That is one lovely noose they’ve created. It’s going to be hard to break.”
Vegeta lifted his head and looked at Discord, “Why? That’s so full of holes, it might as well be cheese!”
“You know that, and I know that. But we don’t think like ponies think. That is an ironclad story; if anything, the truth would look like a convoluted lie.”
“Why?!”
“Because of your dark magic. Vegeta, a pony’s magic is tied to their cutie mark. Which is the physical representation of their mana heart that surrounds their soul. Say a pony has a baking cutie mark. It’s not just that it’s what they are best at or enjoy doing. It is their destiny. If that pony tries to do anything else other than what their cutie mark subscribes, they will fail horribly. It is a law at the foundation of magic. A pony cannot act against their destiny. Their road is fixed the moment their minds align with what their mana heart already preordained and the mark appears.”
“So, ponies don’t have free will?”
“They would argue they do. But pony magic is harmonic in nature. While I am chaos. The personification of free will. Ponies cannot use chaos magic.”
“Are you saying I’ve lost my free will?!”
“Not with your dark magic. Ponies consider dark magic just as much a perversion as chaos magic. It’s pure selfishness. Imposing your will on the herd instead of going along with the herd. Imposing your will against all else is the root of violence, mind control, and pain. Ponies are not naturally born with dark magic. They have to corrupt their own hearts to use it by doing unspeakable deeds. Which with everything we know about you, you’ve done in spades.”
Vegeta rolled his eyes. “Great… … Wait a minute,” he stopped lowering his head and brought it back up. “If magic is destiny, then shouldn’t magic have a co—”
“Hello everypony,” Celestia walked in unannounced. “Seems like quite the gathering. May I ask the occasion?”
“I just read the newspaper to everyone,” Pinkie said. “Since Discord can’t use his arms and Vegeta can’t read.”
“And I just explained why Vegeta having dark magic will supersede anything we try to say in defense.”
“It’s good you decided to read the paper to Vegeta. It will make the next decisions quicker.”
Celestia grabbed Pinkie’s and Discord’s beds and pushed them against the walls. She then walked in and turned around. “This room is going to be cramped.”
“Oh, you’re back,” Vegeta said as Fancy Pants and Fleur dis Lee walked in.
Cadence and Twilight followed.
“What the hell happened to you?” Vegeta said, looking at her. “You look like a kid after being told Santa isn’t real.”
“Ped… pedo-pedophilia…” she stuttered.
“OK! WHO THE FUCK NEEDS KILLING ONCE I’M OUT OF THIS CAST?!”
“I fully agree with Vegeta on this one,” Discord said. “Or maybe I should turn him into a filly himself?”
Celestia raised her hoof, “Let’s get to the topic at hand.”
She teleported a table into the room and changed its size so it fit in the room. She then popped in all the papers and spread them out across the table and Vegeta’s cast.
“Ok, Let’s begin. Duke Poppycock with the help of his relatives and allies in the judiciary and law enforcement have completely fabricated the situation surrounding Pinkie’s injury. Naming Bocce as the killer. I have placed Bocce in the crystal dungeon for now while we figure out what to do next. I’ve personally requested the evidence surrounding the warrant, but that won’t be here for another hour. I can already guess there are many false testimonials.”
She looked at Vegeta, “You were correct in that the baby was not included. This allowed us to find several forged documents that had been notarized. I’ve already summoned them to the palace. Once here, I can have the palace guards detain them.”
“Then the palace guards hold no jurisdiction in the city?” Vegeta asked.
Celestia shook her head, “No. And with the corruption on display, we cannot trust the city guards. We need an immutable case that would make the judges involved back down.”
“Discord just told me that will never happen because I exist,” Vegeta deadpanned.
“Yes, I heard the conversation from the hallway,” Celestia sighed. “That is unfortunately an inconvenient wall we must climb.”
“Why can’t we just tell everyone the truth?” Pinkie asked. “Vegeta saved my life.”
“The newspaper directly states you share powers with Vegeta,” Fancy Pants said. “Saving your life is now just one dark mage saving another.”
“Ki isn’t evil!”
“I know that and you know that,” Vegeta said. “But no one else has ever… wait…”
“If this world has Germans…” he muttered.
“Celestia, are there counties that would be called ‘The Far East?’ China? Korea? Japan? Anything sound familiar?”
“Why?”
“On Earth, it’s those civilizations that have the word ki in their language and actively practice it religiously. Every other nation considers it not real and a superstition used by charlatans and scammers. But it does exist obviously.”
“And why would your country have anything to do with this?” Fancy Pants said.
“Because we are twin planets bound together by threads of fate,” Celestia said. “You are saying ki might already exist here?”
“It’s not like I can teach you in less than an hour even if I was healthy.”
“Cadence, Twilight, find whatever you can. Contact any embassies you need to.”
“Come on, Twilight,” Cadence said. She looked at Fancy Pants and Fleur at the door, “Excuse us.”
After they left Fleur spoke up, “You said ‘planets’. As in not from Equus? Aliens?”
“Welcome to your first contact,” Vegeta chuckled, smirking.
“But Twilight said she visited your country,” Fancy Pants interjected.
Vegeta lifted his head. “Is there some kind of portal home?! Why didn’t you tell me?!”
“It only opens once every three years for a couple days. And it already cycled two months ago.”
“And there is no way to force it open?”
She shook her head, “No. The only reason Starswirl the Bearded was able to create the mirror to begin with was through stellar alignments. It was once opened at his whim, but after 20 years it stopped working as the alignment ended. But 300 years ago, it began cycling. We have never figured out why.”
Vegeta thought. “This is real to everyone. I need a real-world reason.”
“We fell out of alignment? What was the date?”
“Twelve hundred years ago was when he died.”
“Well, without knowing how our calendars align I don’t know anything other than it was a real fucking long time ago. Why did he make it?”
“He threw dangerous prisoners into it. Trap them in a world without magic. Any magic they went in with would immediately dissipate and they would become helpless.”
“And get killed by the locals?” Vegeta raised an eyebrow. “We’re talking about my home here.”
Celestia’s eyes widened.
“Never crossed your mind, huh?” Vegeta glared at her.
“No…” She lowered her eyes. “But those were much more violent times.”
“You scaly bastard,” Vegeta thought as a memory crossed his mind.
“Three hundred years ago on my calendar was when the Namekians gifted Earth a set of dragon balls.”
“The artifact that brought you here?” Celestia said. “You think they bleed off enough passive magic to temporarily reactivate the mirror?”
“Do you have a better explanation for a world with no magic?”
“Forgive me your highnesses, but may we turn back to the issue at hand?” Fancy Pants asked.
“I would say establishing a long history between our planets is relevant. If the ultimate wall is me, then we need as many planks as we can get to build the ramp over it. I need to look normal and give a good reason for the trust.”
“Still, we do need to edit this carefully… As a foreign nation is involved. We are already in a dangerous spot diplomatically. I would rather avoid triggering a war while trying to save Bocce.”
“Are there any projectile weapons here? Like cannons?”
“Yes, but they run on magic.”
“And fireworks?”
“Also magic.”
“But were they originally? On Earth, fireworks are made from black powder invented in the Far East. It was Europe and their colonies that weaponized it to such lethal perfection.”
“You think the gun might have precedence here?” Celestia asked.
“The only difference between a floating log and a boat is imagination. Collect enough logs and a basic raft is inevitable.”
“Yes, I will return shortly.” Celestia teleported away.
A few minutes later, she returned.
“Ok, I intercepted Cadence and Twilight. They’ll be looking for black powder as well.”
“So,” Fancy Pants said, “How are we going to stop the selling of the company and the forced wedding?”
“What about that royal lien Cadence mentioned?” Vegeta asked.
“That would cause widespread panic,” Celestia said. “The laws around ascension into Alicorn hood do technically make you a member of Equestria’s royal family. But you are a dark mage.”
“Can’t one of you declare the lien?”
“The scandal would be too great. We are pitted against the remains of the royal family that preceded our election. And they have us deeply outmatched.”
“Cadence also said the same thing about forcing a marriage before the deadline…” Vegeta pressed his lips together.
“What about rescuing the baby?” he asked, “I assume pedophilia came up because of this case?”
“We do have the live birth certificate,” Celestia said. “But Bocce’s name is not on it, and we will need Sea Swirl to testify who the father is to change it.”
Everyone was silent.
“Could we bring Luna in here…” Vegeta asks slowly.
“Why?”
“I have an idea. And I want to practice.”
“Ooooooooh,” Discord smiled. “I know where this is going.”
“Which is?” Fancy Pants asked, worried at Discord’s enthusiasm.
“Vegeta can physically move things in and out of the dream world. Not copies or anything. The original, physical item."
“You want to get her testimony while asleep tonight?” Fleur looked at her husband. “Would that be immiscible in court?”
“It is a very dangerous precedent if we even succeed…” he said. “Dream magic is not universal to Princess Luna. And there is no guarantee that this ability can’t be replicated with normal magic… But back to the company… I barely have the money, but with Poppycock being my main rival on the noble stage, this is clearly a trap also set for myself.”
“Why not ask for other investors?” Vegeta asked.
“No noble will risk their reputation associating with Trident or even myself right now.”
“Then why stop at nobility? Bocce’s family sounds filthy rich, well connected, and influential enough to get away with attempted murder of him.”
Fancy Pants shook his head, “Sky yachts are the realm of the nobility. Peasants cannot own one no matter how wealthy they are.”
“Is this a law?”
“Tradition. And no one would dare break it. It would be social and political suicide.”
Vegeta sighed, then looked at Celestia, “Can you just randomly make someone a noble?”
“It is like Fancy Pants said, even with a very good reason, the timing and aftermath is suspect.”
“Would defeating Twilight in magic be a good reason?” Pinkie blurted out. “Bocce has defeated Twilight twice in levitation magic, even after an alicorn!”
“He has?!” Celestia turned around surprised.
“Yeah! And his dad had to get restraining orders to keep Twilight away because she refused to give up! That has to be on file in Ponyville.”
“So,” she put her hoof under her chin, “use Bocce’s ennoblement as blackmail to get the money. Pure hardball.” She lowered her hoof. “I love it.”
Chapter 32: Getting Schooled
Chapter 32: Getting Schooled
Shining Armor and Flash Sentry walked out of the office. All the guards were doing the professional equivalent of standing around, bunched up by nationality.
Goku and the Neighponese ambassadors were talking in Neighponese again. Even the failed translation spell couldn’t hide the fact he seemed very excited.
“What seems to have put you in a good mood, Son Goku?” Shining Armor asked.
“They have real food here,” he said, relieved. “I was worried I would have to try to eat grass.”
“Prince Shining Armor,” Mutaito said. “We would like to supply our blessed guest with his meals as it will make him the most comfortable as he recovers from the windigo’s magic.”
“That would be acceptable. Would you be willing to have a palace chef witness the preparation so we can take the burden from you in future visits?”
Mutaito looked at Goku.
“Yeah, sure. Once this mess is over, I’ll bring kasan with me. She’s the best cook.”
“It will be a pleasure entertaining your wife,” Kame said.
“Yeah, I’ll bring Roshi too. It’s going to be weird to see him without his sunglasses. If I can barely see anything, he definitely won’t with his shades on.”
Shining Armor looked thoughtful. “Rock Salt.”
A crystal guard came up. He did not salute.
“Sergeant, please contact the palace material mages. See if they can create a pair of glasses for our guest to help him see better.”
“That would be awesome! Thanks!” Goku smiled.
“And Vermarine Quartz.”
The combat mage stepped forward.
“I will be heading to the Imperial Academy. Please contact the dean and the professors involved with the ki program. If active classes are being held, I would simply like to attend instead of interrupting them for private meetings.”
The mage saluted. “Yes, sire.”
All the crystal guards saluted as well.
“Everyone else, get a room prepared for him.” Shining Armor looked at the Equestrians, “And be respectful.”
~~***~~
Shining Armor was rubbing the sides of his head trying to figure out how to explain all this in a letter when an instascroll popped in front of him.
“Your Majesty,
We regret to inform you the earliest class we have on life energy in the Foreign Magicks Department is Practical Application 408 at 8 a.m. However, Guest Lecturer Avyaan who teaches the 100 courses is holding a tutoring session this evening at 8 p.m. If you wish to attend, please respond soon so he may prepare.
Sincerely,
President Shimmering Cirrus”
Shining Armor erased the scroll he was writing on and switched the destination seal with the one provided with the letter.
“President Shimmering Cirrus,
I will gladly attend the tutoring session with one personal guard as preparation for the 8 a.m. class. I would like to witness both general theory and its real life uses.
Prince Shining Armor ”
~~***~~
The sun set early in the north, but the shimmering shield kept the night bright.
“I wonder what Son Goku sees when he looks up at the light ribbons?” Flash Sentry said looking up. “Can he even see how beautiful this is?”
“I always took all of this for granted growing up,” Vermarine Quartz said. “But after everything that happened, seeing it again made me understand why the tourists flock here for the ceremony.”
“We are definitely spoiled,” Shining Armor agreed. “What is our guest doing?”
A guard spoke into his crystal before holding it to his ear. “Currently using two sticks to shove white boiled grain into his mouth. The Neighponese diplomats are also eating the same thing with the same method, but more gracefully. They are also discussing eating fish for tomorrow.”
“Chopsticks and rice, if I remember my time guarding diplomatic dinners right,” Shining said. He spotted two ponies, a crystal pegasus in an academic robe and zebra in a cape, in front of the large arch marking the entrance to the college.
The two bowed.
“Prince Shining Armor,” the pegasus stood. “I am President Shimmering Cirrus.” He looked at the still bowing zebra. “And this is Dean Mudiwa of the Foreign Magicks department.”
The zebra stood. “It is an honor, Sire.”
Shining Armor nodded. “It is a pleasure to visit the college again.”
“If you would follow us, your Majesty,” Shimmering Cirrus said, gesturing inside.
“On behalf of myself and my colleagues,” the dean said in a thick accent. “We thank you for expelling the Magic Council. They especially attacked my department as useless and a waste of resources.”
“They are all arrogant jerks,” Shining Armor said. “After the accident at my sister’s entrance exam, they ordered my sister to be restrained so they could magically sterilize her. If Princess Celestia had not teleported in and saved my sister, she was moments from never being able to cast a spell again.”
“They would do that to the Princess of Magic?”
“They would do that to a commoner foal who was too powerful to be left alone,” Shining Armor said bitterly. “I heard the same shit from nobles in the command chain. Apparently according to them the one and only reason I became an officer was I’m descended from an old lover of hers named Sundial, and she was grooming me to fuck.”
The president came to a stop so fast he skidded. “You’re descended from Lord Sundial?”
“History said she sent him here to lead her army while the sisters fought Discord, but his failure had him completely disgraced and demoted to captain of her personal guard and later retired and disappeared.”
“I was part of the failed assassination attempt against King Sombra, and I will never forget the words he said to the lord right after a trap meant for the princesses sucked his magic almost dry.”
Shimmering Cirrus turned around, face full of shock and rage. “It is not my right to say. But you should really have a long talk with the princess about the real reason he was her first apprentice and most trusted pony after Princess Luna. Not whatever absolute FILTH has spread about the two of them in the centuries since.”
He turned around and clopped loudly as he walked.
“President, since thou, I mean you art so upset, perhaps I should continue? We are neareth my building.”
He stopped and sighed, “Yes… that is probably for the best. If you would excuse me, gentle ponies.” He walked off into the bright night.
“You wouldn’t know, would you?” Shining Armor asked.
“No, I do not. I was not part of the final charge into the throne room. I only prepared the potions needed to breach the walls with the Rén alchemists. The Rén are terrifying in their brilliance and have no fear of the darkness. Their and our realm’s apprentices are the only reason we lasted so long.”
“I have not heard of a Rén before,” Shining Armor said.
It was Mudiwa’s turn to stop. “Then what did the Buddhist who came on the train today call himself?”
“You mean the bipedal in orange who caused the scene today?”
The zebra nodded.
“Saiyan.”
“Saiyan…” Mudiwa said slowly. “Perhaps he is from one of the barbarian tribes that lived beyond the kingdom’s walls.”
“That I cannot comment on,” Shining Armor said. “Are… are there actually beings here from beyond the mirror?”
“No. But there is an Equus-born son of one. He is very old. Rén is also a word for their races’ work. Even if a pony made it, it would still be called a zebra potion when sold, wouldn’t it? But, let’s hurry to the library.”
“I would like to meet him, if possible,” Shining Armor said as the group began to trot.
“Thou can meet him tomorrow. All anyone in the department is talking about is that there is now a way to cross over here that does not transform the traveler. He will jump at the chance.”
~~***~~
The group entered the library section of the building from a clearly rarely used back door.
“The tutoring is happening in one of the side rooms. The teacher said as these students are already in danger of flunking the course, visual call stones are in place so you can see and hear what is happening from a neighboring room. The course book and a copy of the study material is waiting for you on the tables. The communication stone is set to one way; he is willing to answer any questions you still have afterwards.”
She led them to the room and opened the door. “Hurry, before the students notice. They are stressed as it is.”
“I will need guards outside the door,” Shining Armor said.
“Absolutely not.”
Vermarine Quartz sighed and took his helmet off. “Ok, boys. We’re going undercover. Get in the room and strip.”
The guards walked inside.
“Will that be satisfactory?” Shining Armor asked.
“Acceptable…” she grumbled. “If grown stallions are capable of passing as their children’s age group.”
“Some of those stallions are younger than the two of us,” Flash Sentry said, taking off his helmet. “They’ll be fine. Come on Shining.”
“Thank you for guiding us,” Shining Armor nodded and followed him into the room.
~~***~~
Flash Sentry immediately opened one of the books to a bookmark at the table while Shining Armor looked at the posters on the wall.
“Qigong, the three qis and the daiten,” Flash Sentry said reading the chapter title. “Must be today’s lesson.”
“These posters are all about something called ‘Chakra’,” Shining Armor said. “Looks like it has something to do with spots on the spine of each race.”
“Ah yes,” Vermarine Quartz came over to stand next to Shining Armor. “Tibet and Qina practice two completely different live energy manipulation systems. Chakra was the preexisting energy system in the country the founder of Buddhism came from. But when Buddhism came to Qina, they already had an energy system called Qigong, so they took what they liked from Buddhism and kept their Qigong and created their own version of the religion.”
“Which is taught here?”
“Both, but Qigong is closest to casting magic so it’s the one taught first in any real detail. Chakra is more a purification thingy to get into heaven if I remember the history lessons right, but it can help with ki control as several important focus centers overlap. So, I guess purifying those spots in your body makes ki work better?” he shrugged, “But that’s really advanced and not level 100 stuff.”
Flash Sentry flipped to the beginning of the book and the table of contents. “Yeah, the first section is called ‘The Arrival of the Buddha’, then the second section this chapter is in is called ‘Buddha and the Tao, Struggle and Fusion in the Rice Fields’. Oh, a chapter called ‘The Legend of Son Wukong Goku’.” He flipped to that chapter, “Must be the god he said he’s named after.” He found the first page and began reading. “‘Journey to the West is the legend of how an original copy of the Buddha’s teachings was delivered to Qina. Starring Son Wukong or Goku depending on the language translated from, this being titled The Monkey King is uncannily similar to Discord’s reign of terror…’” Flash Sentry grimaced as he shut the book in between his hooves. “For our guest’s sake, I think it’s best we forget that.”
“Son Wukong was also released from his prison of stone so the other gods could harness his powers during a crisis,” Vermarine Quartz said. “They tricked him into putting on some kind of head circlet that caused him to writhe in agony at his controller’s command… It's a difficult read at points, especially after Sombra, but it’s framed as a story about his discovery of friendship while protecting the sacred books. Discord was released for the same reason too recently and now stands next to the princesses. Maybe in a few generations, Discord will be a popular name to call foals if his life continues to parallel Wukong’s.”
“I wouldn’t go THAT far…” Shining Armor rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you join the others outside the door, the lesson is scheduled to start in a few minutes and the students are all focused on the door.”
“If that is your wish, your majesty,” he left the room.
~~***~~
“Oh, the teacher is an Elephas,” Flash Sentry said. “I don’t know why I’m surprised at this point… Equestria was just a backwater at the time, even with the alicorns.”
“Even modern Canterlot can’t match the mix of races here. Minus embassy staff, it’s all ponies.”
“Mostly snooty unicorns really.”
Shining raised his eyebrow at Flash.
“What?” he snorted. “You guys weren’t originally nobles but the silver spoon you were born with is worth more than every bit my entire family has ever made since the founding. I’m just a G.I. scholarship student.”
“It’s not like I have family on Millionaire Row or something,” he paused. “Unlike Applejack.”
Flash jerked his head. “You’re joshing me.”
“Nope, they are actually rich as fuck,” he chuckled. “Looks like they are starting.”
Flash took a stack of paper out of his bag along with an ink bottle and quill.
“Really?” he said looking at the naked table in front of Shining Armor. “You could help take notes.”
Shining smirked, then poofed a stack in front of himself.
“Mine’s still taller,” Flash said before taking the quill in his mouth.
~~***~~
The two watched the lesson, Flash Sentry scribbling furiously while Shining Armor just stared at the projection screen.
“You’re not taking any notes again,” Flash Sentry scolded.
“I don’t even know where to start…” he answered, tilting his head. “I get why there’s so many students here failing…”
“I’ve noticed they are all unicorns as well,” Flash said. “Are our filament systems that different? I can relate about half of this to how pegasus magic works.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I guess this must be why your sister can’t fly a straight line if her life depended on it.” He chuckled and looked back at the screen.
They saw the teacher point in one direction with both hands, trace his arm down into his stomach, then switch arms and trace the same path out the other arm to the fingertips.
“You can use ki to generate and control lightning, fascinating,” Flash Sentry scribbled down.
Shining Armor straightened his head and wrote that down. “That definitely has military implications…”
Flash Sentry glowered at him, “You didn’t even realize he was talking about lightning, did you?”
“He hasn’t said the word lightning once!” he defended himself.
Flash sighed, and went back to taking notes. “Did you even notice he was talking about fire earlier?”
“Yes. Ignite and burn were obvious,” he grumbled.
“You don’t know what static is?”
“Isn’t that just one of the basic charms used on fabric and rugs listed on the tags?”
“Don’t choke on the silver ladle in your mouth…” Flash sighed.
~~***~~
The lecture ended, and as the students and teacher packed up, Flash went to organize his papers.
“That was great. I wonder if I could learn to cast unicorn spells from my wings with the same methods.”
“That’s not how unicorn magic works.”
“And you had no idea what he was talking about half the time, so you can’t just write that off.”
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Vermarine Quartz poked his head in. “How did it go?”
“Great,” Flash Sentry said smiling, “Can you snag the teacher for a few quick questions?”
“Yes,” he nodded. Then he looked at Shining Armor who simply had a deer in the headlights look. “I only got third marks in his class, no shame your majesty.” He left, closing the door.
They saw Vermarine Quartz walk into the room as the last students got up to leave.
“Hello Professor, remember me?”
“Vermarine Quartz, of course I do. You’re the last unicorn I had that reached 103.”
“But that was decades ago.”
Professor Avyaan plopped back down on his chair. “I know… It’s frustrating how well earth and pegasi do while unicorns flunk out even at the basics. And these are just history and basic theory classes, not even practical. It should just be memorization…”
“Speaking of which, my two friends are interested in asking you a couple questions before you leave.”
He looked at the clock. “Alright, it’s only 10:30.”
Prof. Avyaan walked into the room and immediately bowed, “Your Majesty.” He lifted his head and his face immediately fell seeing Shining Armor’s face.
“Greeting, Prof. Avyaan,” Shining armor plastered on a fake smile, “My guard has a few questions for you. Could you clarify a few things for him before we leave?”
He nodded. “I would be happy to,” he said, assuming this was hiding the ruler’s complete confusion.
“Yes, I have a couple questions,” Flash Sentry asked. “You said magic and ki share the same filaments? But ki use can always grow with training, does that mean ki actually expands the filaments?”
“Yes,” he smiled, “That is actually taught in 102. I’m glad to see that it was caught so early just from the basic description.”
“Is that why they magic lock foals? Magic hardens the filaments by toddlerhood, stopping the random surges that happen in newborns.”
“Also correct.”
“Then why aren’t far eastern unicorns the most powerful on the planet?”
Prof. Avyaan paused, realizing this question came from the pegasus. “That is the issue. The merlin nerve is actually a direct part of the brain. So, magic is integral to brain development. Locking is ultimately harmless for earth and pegasi, but in unicorns it leads to mental issues from personality disorders to full intellectual disability. If locking is done at all it is very slight and focuses on expansion before full hardening, increasing the unicorn’s raw magic potential. As most pony kingdoms are ruled by unicorns or hold a very strong unicorn bias, this has led to all the hardship and misunderstanding with many pony kingdoms. Which ultimately led to a war of erasure after the empire’s sealment.”
“And non-pony races?”
The Elephas smiled, “While everything in Equus has some amount of magic, for the majority of races it might as well be nonexistent when compared to ponies. While species with a large mana pool like griffons will also need to lock, for races like horses, zebras, elephas, minotaurs, pandas, emus and the like have no barrier other than the natural hardening that comes with decades of life.”
“I have one more question, and it's personal. If you don’t wish to answer, you don’t have to.”
He paused. “Alright…”
“There is a young pegasus, at cutie mark age but has not received it yet. She cannot fly due to a birth defect in the filaments in her back and wings. Could ki… help her fly?”
Prof. Avyaan frowned. “Theoretically, as earth ponies focus through their hooves, but it will ultimately depend on the hardening of her filaments. She may be too old without a permanent lock. This will ultimately require a healer trained in ki to examine the foal.”
Flash Sentry's wings drooped, “I see… Thank you professor. That’s all that came to mind currently based on your lecture. We hope you have a pleasant night.”
Prof. Avyaan bowed, “It was an honor to have his majesty listen in on my lecture.”
He turned and left the room.
Vermarine Quartz poked his head in.
“I take it, it did not go well?” he asked, seeing both their faces.
“Vermarine Quartz,” Prince Shining Armor said. “The professor said you’re the only unicorn to pass in the past few decades?”
“I barely got third ranks though,” he said, already knowing the question.
“That’s better than I ever could. Please help,” Shining Armor asked, desperation in his eyes.
He sighed. “Alright.”
“I got plenty of notes,” Flash said.
“Let’s reconvene once we're back at the palace,” Shining Armor said.
~~***~~
Dean Mudiwa came and escorted the group out of the campus along the back footpaths students had worn through the grass and bushes. Finally, they returned to the lighted paths as the gate came in sight.
“We’ve gotten in touch with the Rén’s son,” she said as they approached. “He said he will be at the practical tomorrow morning in the company of his care nurse and children.”
“How old is he?”
“139,” she answered. “We hope his excitement does not take him tonight.”
Shining Armor stopped walking. “If he is that sick, then I can come to him.”
“No, it is already arranged. Yonten always wakes early. He will be awake before the rest of you, and the disappointment will be much worse on him. The class starts at 8 a.m. sharp, so please show up by 7:30 so I can take you to the practice fields.”
Shining Armor nodded respectfully, “Thank you for your assistance in this matter.”
“You are welcome. Just don’t arrive late.” She walked out the gate and made her way down the street.
Shining Armor and the guards watched her leave.
“Let’s hurry back to the palace,” Shining Armor said. “We’re only going to get five hours of sleep as it is.”
Flash looked thoughtful, then looked at the crystal guards, “What are the chances of getting a magic propelled wagon for tomorrow morning? Save us almost forty minutes of walking.”
“You mean like the prison wagon?”
“Are there no other versions?”
“It’s all military usage.”
Flash looked at Shining Armor. “Maybe a magic carriage for the royals would be a good idea. Based on one of the troop transports.”
“Procure one of the transports for tomorrow morning,” Shining Armor ordered. “Have it ready by seven.”
“As you wish, sire.”
~~***~~
The next morning…
Shining Armor was chugging coffee in his office as he got the morning briefing.
“There is a lot of excitement over Son Goku,” the Equestrian advisor said. “There was a long line of reporters in front of the eastern embassies, and crowds swarming the Little Teabit area of the empire yesterday. The temple there was especially overwhelmed. No criminal incidents there. Just traffic issues and overcrowding. There were 27 hoovefights across the city. All between Equestrians and native Crystal Ponies. Buddhism is still well received by the citizens while the rest of the pony world has moved on. There were three acts of vandalism. Equestrians attacking stores that sold products labeled with the word Rén or the Eastern symbol for it once that became known. One mare that went on a rampage was misinformed and attacked seeing the word ‘reed’ on products.”
“Were there any incidents between soldiers again?”
“No, sire. Your position on this matter was made clear yesterday.”
“And how is our guest?”
“Awake and eating,” the crystal pony butler said, “However he has eaten much more than the kitchens were prepared for. He said it was fine and that ‘He’ll make it up at lunch with pony Roshi and Mutaito’.”
A crystal guard poked his head through the door. “Sire, the Neighponese ambassadors are back. They said they are here to pick up Son Goku for the morning.”
“I wasn’t told about this,” Shining Armor said surprised.
“Do you want to have a meeting with them?”
Shining Armor sighed. “No,” he waved his hoof. “Let them go do whatever they have planned.”
“Yes, sire.” The guard closed the door.
Shining Armor looked blurry eyed at the clock. “6:48. Ok. Everything else non-alien contact related relatively the same?”
“There are new protests from the Equestrian railroad barons about crystal trains damaging their tracks.”
Shining Armor chuckled in distress, “It’s their tracks that damage and limit y—our trains.”
“Nice save, your majesty,” the crystal pony said, shuffling papers in his magic to find anything else abnormal.
The Equestrian advisor looked to Prince Shining Armor to reprimand the disrespectful servant, but Shining Armor just chugged more coffee before using his magic to refill his cup.
“I see nothing else that cannot wait until later.”
Shining Armor looked to the Equestrian aide. “And you?”
He gritted his teeth, “Nothing that comes to mind.”
“Ok,” Shining Armor slid back his chair. “I need to get to the demonstration. If everything else is the same as before, then continue as normal. If anything happens or needs clarifying, let me know.”
The two bowed, “Yes sire.”
~~***~~
The troop transport rolled through the morning streets.
“This is really fast,” Shining Armor said looking out the window. “It’s almost like a train.”
“This was brand new tech when Sombra came,” the driver shouted while moving a center lever next to him.”
“You’re grinding the gears again,” the pony in the left front seat said.
“It’s fine,” the driver grumbled.
“Then the cost of replacing the transmission comes from your pay.”
~~***~~
“Son Goku?!”
Goku turned around, wearing what looked like a set of blue-tinted goggles. “Yo!” he raised his hand. “Your Prince-ship!”
“What are you doing here?”
“Lord Mutaito invited me to the demonstration since these goggles work so well before we hit Teabit Town,” Goku smiled. “Kame-kun will be fighting today.”
“Fighting?”
“Yes, apparently Shen and Tao are the teachers today,” he answered, unable to hide the concern in his voice.
“You seem nervous,” Flash said wearily.
Goku chuckled awkwardly, “Lord Mutaito said not to say anything, as although we are twin realms, we are in many ways opposites.”
“Then your versions are not of good character?” he asked
“That’s the understatement of the century.”
“So how are you this morning?” Shining Armor asked.
Goku sighed, “Didn’t sleep well. King Kai still won’t let me transform to just break this curse already. But he said last he checked, Vegeta was in the main castle eating breakfast with someone called Princess Luna, so he’ll be fine until I get there. And Bulla is with someone called Discord, who I’m told is a good person despite the name.”
“That’s good to hear. My wife should be arriving in the capital this morning as well.” Shining Armor’s jaw dropped slightly. “Crap. The letter.”
Then he yawned. “Pardon me.”
The yawn spread through the group.
“You guys ok?” Goku asked.
“We had a late-night learning how ki worked,” Shining Armor said. “So, we could understand this morning’s lesson.”
“Ah,” Goku smiled, “Sounds like my oldest son. He’ll just lose himself in his books and forget everything else.”
Goku looked over at Mudiwa, “Oh, are you Dean Mudiwa, Miss Zebra-lady? You are a woman, right? With the jewelry?”
She smiled, “Yes. I am.”
Goku politely bowed, “Lord Mutaito introduced me to your husband and his father right before you showed up.” He stood up and raised his fists to his shoulder. “Your family is awesome.” His eyes sparkled. “You’re going to love Bulma and the Doc. I’m just as excited to introduce them as they are to meet them.”
“Bulma is Prince Vegeta’s wife, correct?” Shining Armor said.
“Yep. And Dr. Brief is her father. They both make the most advanced stuff on Earth. Panchy is her mom. She makes the best tea and tons of snacks. Oh, then there’s their cat Scratch. He constantly rides on the Doc’s shoulders or sleeps on Vegeta.”
“A royal family of alchemists. Sounds interesting,” Mudiwa smiled. “I look forward to meeting them too.” She turned back to the group, “If you would follow me to the bleachers.”
Goku bowed as they continued past.
He stood straight. “Shen Long really outdid himself,” he put his hand on his forehead, “I hope he changed history or something so this is real, because these guys are way too proud of being Earthlings to be heart broken.”
~~***~~
Shining Armor and his retinue were guided to the spot roped off for them, center front row of the middle bleachers. To their left were various races in eastern style clothes, with many in temple robes. Behind and filling out the rest of the section to his right were students with their backpacks and notebooks. And just as was said last night, not a single unicorn student in sight. But in the section to the left past the walking path, crowds of ponies were pushing against each other.
Shining Armor recognized members of the press with bulky magic recorders. Newsreels, they called it, if he remembered right. He then looked at another section of bleachers to the right and saw a similar sight.
“Greetings, your Majesty.”
“Lord Mutaito, welcome.” Shining Armor waved for him to enter his circle of guards.
“Quite busy for such an early lesson,” he smiled sitting down. “Reminds me of the temple yesterday. Our visitor from the other side hath brought great interest to our way of life.”
“Campus security has done a good job keeping the press away from Goku. I would think they would be swarming him.”
Mutaito chuckled. “Oh he hath already spoketh to the press. In fact, he stuck his eye right up to the lens asking what those things were.”
Shining Armor’s ears fell. “What did he say?”
“Oh, he spent half the time talking about something called a cell phone. It’s a communication stone and image recorder and projector in one thing about the size of his hand. The ponies dragging those large boxes around were very interested.”
“And the rest?”
“He said he was here on a rescue mission as his friend and daughter were teleported to this planet accidently by a magic stone. But King Kai and the doctors won’t let him leave until the ‘ghost horse’s’ cold magic wears off. But you knew where Prince Vegeta was and sent letters about his current problem. Do not fret. He did not say he was a god, just that he was in telepathic contact with him. When asked how that was possible over such a long distance, he just shrugged. He shrugged a lot and easily asked about thrice as many questions as he answered.”
Shining Armor let a breath out he did not realize he was holding.
“But the real reason I came over,” Mutaito pulled a bag from his robe, “Are these.”
Shining Armor took the bag in his magic and pulled out a pair of goggles.
“Enchanted welder’s goggles. It will protect your eyes from ki light while still allowing you to see. Those not used to it cannot handle the brightness.”
Shining Armor remembered the balls of light from the day before. “Thank you for thinking of us.”
He smiled. “They art standard issue for this class. I haft been told the sudden interest hath left many frantic assistants digging through dusty crates all night.” He looked over at the crowds, “The security made many sign papers in order to enter because of it.”
“Have the hospitals been notified?” Flash asked, realizing why.
“Thou would haft to ask the principal that.” Mutaito bowed and left.
“Someone get the principal,” Flash barked, not waiting for Shining Armor to respond.
One of the crystal guards left.
Suddenly a loud gong rang out.
The students immediately stopped talking and began putting on their goggles.
The gong sounded two more times, bringing the remaining conversations to a stop.
Two earth ponies trotted out. Shining Armor noticed Goku’s twitch.
One was a slightly larger than average light blue earth pony with a green robe with a yellow long-sleeved undershirt and black bird as a hat. The other was a massive golden brown pony in a pink robe with a purple long-sleeved undershirt. The one with the pink robe had his long black mane braided with a red ribbon.
The two stopped in front of two microphones set up on the field.
“Greeting students and honored guests,” the blue pony began. “I am Master Shen, leader of the Crane school of ki arts and head professor of practical applications.” He looked to his left, “And this is my younger brother Tao, professor of martial ki arts. Today’s lesson is a sparring match between Tao of the Crane School and Kame of the Turtle School. Do not worry for your safety, as duels between the Crane and Kame schools take place this time every semester and have a well established tradition to use the hoofball sidelines as the safety limit. You can also see we have monks from the temple standing along the safety line to cast ki shields in an emergency. I will mention as our honored guests are Prince Shining Armor, Son Goku from beyond the mirror, and Lord Mutaito, ancient ambassador of Neighpon and founder of the original school of martial arts both the Crane School and Turtle School descend from.”
The two ponies then sat back and bowed with their hooves touching facing Lord Mutaito. All the eastern ponies did the same. Son Goku also stood from his seat next to the lord and bowed with his hands together.
Shining Armor glanced behind him and saw the students scramble to take the same pose.
Shining Armor then stood, catching everyone’s attention. He sat back and put his hooves together but did not bow his head.
Lord Mutaito smiled at the royal section and returned the gesture, bowing his head to the prince.
The two professors stood again.
“Alright, everyone. Return to your seats and prepare for the lesson.” Master Shen waited for the ruffling to end before he continued.
“I will briefly go over the concept of life energy and the three foci of concentration for our guests while Master Tao goes over the motions.”
Tao then stood on his hind legs and seemed perfectly comfortable in that awkward position.
“The first we will go over is the Lower Daiten.”
Tao rested his hooves above his abdomen.
“This is the root of a person’s life energy. Separated into the Yin and Yang, the life energy you were born with that dictates the length of your life, and the energy one absorbs from the world throughout one’s life. Breathing, eating, drinking, and also the emotions of those around you. Both need to be balanced and in fluid motion for qi to form. This is the most important foci for the martial use of qi, called Neijin.”
Toa moved his hooves over his heart.
“The Middle Daiten is the heart. This is where qi becomes shen, your mind and spirit. But in this instance, it is wakefulness, awareness, emotions, and personality.
Tao pointed at his head.
“The Upper Daiten houses shen, and through spiritual practices can be transformed again to gain enlightenment and a connection to the gods and primordial essences of the world.”
Tao lowered his upper legs and actually held them behind his back.
Goku tilted his head with a shocked and confused look on his face. He muttered something in Neighponese, but was too soft for Shining Armor’s translation spell to function. He watched Lord Mutaito speak with Goku and he pointed at Toa then put the hand on his shoulder as he rotated it.
“This is not a linear path, but moves like water. Solid,” Tao took over speaking, pointing at his stomach, “Liquid,” he pointed at his heart, “and Gas,” he pointed at his head. He lowered his hoof. “But that has little to do with what we are showing you today. This is all about free movement of life energy and utilizing the lower foci as the source of your power. Now qi flows through specific channels in the body called meridians. With training, one can control the movement of qi within the body.” He paused for effect, “And ultimately…”
Tao held his hooves in front of him. Then a ball of light appeared.
“… outside of the body. Now, I know what our visitors are thinking. This is just magic. No, it is not,” he extinguished the ball and returned his hooves to his back. “But the qi meridians and mana filaments are actually the same body structure. While magic hardens the meridians, qi causes them to expand. That is why races with high mana content, like ponies, griffons, deerkin, kirins, and abadas, must use mana locks to allow qi to build up to the point it can be used as their meridians hardened as youth. If done young among the non-casting magical races, magic locks allow the meridians to expand greatly in capacity, allowing for simultaneous use of magic and qi. While this will delay magical competency and cutie mark acquisition in earth ponies and pegasi by a few years compared to not practicing nations, there are no long-lasting effects and our adults are indistinguishable in terms of magical ability than yours. Now, you notice I said non-casting races. The Upper Daiten, the one in your head, is specifically in the middle of your forehead. That’s where the magic nodes are in the brain of these races. Long term magic locking of a caster foal, especially on the horns or antlers, causes mental and personality issues and sometimes permanent impairment. That is why magic locking a caster is ineffective as the magic cannot be cut off in any meaningful way to slow down the hardening of the meridians.”
“Now with the explanation over with,” Master Shen took over, “we have a demonstration to prove qi is not magic. Would a unicorn volunteer from the audience,” he opened a box and pulled out some locks, “To prove the authenticity of these locks. While we do have a fellow professor waiting, having a volunteer will eliminate conspiracy theories of being a hoax.”
Everyone looked at each other in the stands.
“No volunteers?” Master Shen asked after a couple minutes.
There was another long pause.
Shen sighed, “Alright then. Would Professor—”
“Wait!” Shining Armor stood raising his hoof, “I volunteer!”
Everyone went silent.
“Shining, that will leave you too vulnerable. You’re a prince now for Celestia’s sake,” Flash scolded in a whisper.
Shining Armor looked at him. “They trained us to push our magic past locks during elite training. I might not be 100%, but I won’t be helpless. It’s not like there are changelings here.”
The guards surrounded him as he walked onto the field. Vermarine Quartz turned around and cast a shield facing the audience.
Master Shen and Tao bowed to Shining Armor.
“We are honored that you volunteered, your majesty,” Tao said.
“I’ve been locked before during my military training,” he smiled. “I would be the most comfortable wearing them compared to a random civilian.”
“Your compassion is unending,” Master Shen said, rising. He leaned into the microphone, “Bring out the pallet.”
Four crystal ponies came out from behind the bleachers pulling a cart with a pallet of white marble blocks. They stopped in front of the guards, removed their yokes, and unloaded the pallet. It made a deep thud when it hit the ground.
Shen motioned to the pallet. “Your majesty, if you would lift the stones.”
Shining Armor nodded, then easily lifted the pallet high in the air. “While fine for me, I think a normal unicorn would struggle depending on their talent,” he said, placing it back down.
“Then let’s put the locks on.”
Shining Armor stood calmly as the shackles were put on each leg. He took a deep breath and blew it out. “And there’s the tingle… hope these are good quality. If the metals don’t mix right, they itch really bad.”
“Were you given a bad set in your training?”
“The military deliberately gives you itchy locks during training,” he said dryly.
Shining Armor took deep deliberate breaths as the locks began to take effect one by one.
“And now the chest piece,” Shen pulled it from the box.
“Those are meant for pegasi,” Flash said.
“We do not horn lock,” Shen stressed. “These will block his magic all the same.”
The first set of straps went over his head, then the belly straps were threaded under his legs and connected behind his shoulders.
Shining Armor winced and his knees buckled. “Fucking shit, where did you get these? And I thought the ones we wore in elite training were bad.” He regained his posture and shook his head clear. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Ok, let's cast the spell again…”
Shining Armor visibly strained, but a small spark came from his horn to the shock of everyone. He lifted the pallet of cut stone, albeit much slower. He set it down after only a few feet with a loud thud. The stones shifted from the impact.
“Yeah… these work…” he panted, “Now get them off of me.”
Tao took off his clothes and the magic locks were moved directly from Shining Armor to him.
Shining Armor sighed relieved. “They never pegasus locked unicorns in training.” He put his hoof on his chest, “That really messed with my filaments in ways I wasn’t trained for. Thank you for the enlightening experience.”
“If his majesty would return to his seat,” Master Shen bowed, “We can continue.”
He and his guards were barely in their seats when gasps and shouts came from the crowd. He looked up and saw Tao, who confusingly had a wooden log with wings as his cutie mark, rise into the air. He then zipped about and did acrobatics worthy of elite pegasus troops. Then he made multiple light balls and began spinning them around as he moved his hooves.
Goku interrupted the demonstration by clapping and cheering.
Tao dropped down. “Seems our guest has not been informed of proper manners on Equus,” he scolded into the microphone.
Goku blushed, then shot up from his seat and bowed with his head almost touching his knees. “Sorry!”
Many of the eastern ponies next to him laughed and Lord Mutaito put his hoof on his arm.
Goku sat back down.
Master Shen took back the microphone. “Now with that demonstration over, would Kame come over and prepare for the duel.”
Kame stood up and took off his robes. His cutie mark was the back of a turtle shell surrounded by six hooked balls of fire.
The two placed their hooves together, then stood on their rear legs.
Shining Armor noticed the strange way the muscles moved around their rear legs. The wrong ones were bulky while what normally would be well developed were thinned.
“How often do you have to stand on your back legs for that to happen?” he thought. “Can they even gallop at any real speed?”
Kame made the first move, leaping in, and was met by a parry. He tilted his head dodging the uppercut. The fight continued at blistering speed in a dizzying mix of bipedal and four-legged stances.
“I can barely follow that,” Shining Armor said.
“Really?” Flash said. “I can see it fine.”
“That makes sense, I guess. We really are built differently,” Shining Armor said.
Kame was the first to fire a ki blast.
Tao jumped in the air and floated as the ball went under him and dug a trench in the ground burning the surrounding grass.
Kame joined him in the air and the fight continued. Lightning and fire balls joined the fight. Tao even levitated one of the heavy stone blocks to block a ki blast, then began launching the sharp shards at him.
“How did we win that war and still not see ki as a threat?” Flash said, jaw on the floor.
“They let us win…” Shining Armor thought. “To save the reputation of their gods. A silly fantasy is easier to recover from than being labeled dark magic.” Then his mind ran the combat scenarios if they hadn’t. “Tens of thousands of innocent ponies being labeled dark wizards. Corrupting and locking children…”
“Because we would have killed every last stallion, mare and child…” he muttered.
Kame grabbed a bolt of lightning, spun, and threw it back at Tao.
Who wasn’t there.
Kame dropped, the ki blast singing the top of his mane. Quickly he formed a ki ball with his back hooves and bucked it behind him.
Tao wasn’t able to dodge completely and took a direct hit in his front left leg.
Tao gripped his shoulder, disbelief all over his face.
“(Ha! I hit you! Even if I lose again, you can’t take that back!)” the translation spell picked up.
“(You’re going to regret that!)”
Tao screamed and what looked like near transparent flames flickered across his fur. He lunged at him. All Kame could do was cross his legs as he was thrown into the ground. It left a crater.
He was barely able to roll and leap out of the way as Tao plunged full speed into the crater with his extended back leg, deepening the hole to the edge of the safety line. Kame flamed up as well.
To Shining Armor the battle now was only loud cracks and flashes of light.
“I can’t follow them anymore,” Flash said. “There faster than even pegasis sight.”
Goku suddenly stood up. But Lord Mutaito grabbed his arm. Goku nodded then sat back down.
Suddenly there was a huge burst of light and wind that kicked up the dirt from the torn-up ground.
Lord Mutaito was in the sky covered in the same flames, glaring down Tao.
Behind him, Kame looked horrible. Burns, bleeding cuts, and would definitely need facial reconstruction magic.
“That tis enough Tao!” Mutaito shouted in Ponish. “This was meant to be a peaceful demonstration. Not a beatdown! Swallow thy pride and accept thy touch with humility and learn from it! Thou art a disgrace to the school I founded one thousand years ago! Kowtow! Get on the ground and kowtow now! BEG FOR MY FORGIVENESS AND ACCEPT THY PUNISHMENT WITH GRACE!”
Tao dropped to the ground and prostrated himself. Lord Mutaito dropped next, shortly followed by Kame.
Goku got there first before the nursing staff. “(Kame-kun! Are you ok?)”
“(Yeah,)” he slurred, smiling through missing teeth and a broken jaw, “(This is nothing.)”
The staff arrived and the unicorns immediately started their healing spells. Goku watched as his jaw realigned and his teeth regrew almost instantly. Soon he looked like nothing happened.
Kame then turned to the crowd, stood on his hind legs, and held his hooves in the air. “I’m ok!” he shouted in Ponish, trying to be louder than Mutaito. “All better! Nothing bad happened!”
“THY PUNISHMENT WILL BE TO FIGHT SON GOKU!”
“Wait?! What?!” Goku turned around and saw Mutaito pointing at him with Master Shen now kowtowing as well next to his brother.
“HAFT THY PRIDE SHATTER AGAINST THE UNBREAKABLE WALL THAT IS A TRUE RÉN! AND YOUR INJURIES WILL HEAL WITHOUT MAGIC! WEAR THIS LESSON ON THY FLESH FOR THE REST OF THY LIFE! AND SHEN, YOU WILL TAKE LEAVE OF YOUR POST UNTIL I AM SATISFIED YOU ARE ABLE TO REPRESENT AND TEACH ABOUT OUR RACES WITHOUT ERROR!”
“Yes, Lord Mutaito! I will take sabbatical immediately and return to the temple,” Shen shouted.
Tao was silent.
Shen elbowed him. “Apologize to the lord master.”
Tao sat up and looked the master in the eyes. “I will fight the Rén,” he said firmly.
“Tao!” Shen shouted.
“Wait! Wait! Wait!” Goku said, holding his hands up in front of him. “Don’t I get a say in this?”
Mutaito dropped to all four hooves and walked over. “Thou art the one who humbled the mirror’s copy of Tao. You will do so again.”
“My Tao is an assassin I left for dead. Not a respected college professor!”
The crowd gasped and muttered.
“Pride is pride!”
“I’m not hurting him! Gohan will never forgive me!”
“You will fight me, Rén!”
The two looked and saw Tao standing on his hind legs, pushing away his brother’s attempts to pull him back down.
“In your world, that fool is your master!” he pointed at his shoulder. “Take responsibility for this insult and fight me!”
Goku’s arms flopped to his side and his knees bent slightly. “Oh, come on, what is this? A bad beer commercial?”
Tao lunged at him.
Lord Mutaito effortlessly moved to the side while Goku tilted his head and felt the long hair on his hoof tickle his ear. He jumped back and jumped in the air.
Tao soon followed.
Goku kept dodging by a hair’s breadth, constantly in retreat. “Come on, man, I mean horse. Do you really want to do this?”
“I AM THE UNDEFEATED LEGEND TAOPAIPAI! YOU WILL WEAR MY SCAR AS RETRIBUTION RÉN!”
“Technically I’m a… know what? Never mind.”
As Goku continued to back away, Mutaito came up to the royal section and was let straight in.
“Greeting again, your highness.” He sat down next to him.
Shen began to move.
“WHEN DID I SAY THOU COULD MOVE!”
Shen shouted in alarm and prostrated himself again, now facing Mutaito’s current spot.
“Now, that tis better,” he relaxed. “So tell me, great soldiers of the west, what do you see? Anyone can speak. Doesth not need to wait on the prince.”
“Goku is barely staying out of Tao’s reach,” Flash said. “But with everything we know about him, that can’t be right. It would be terrifying if he was an equal to a being of his importance.”
“Good. Now what else do you see?”
“Goku is completely calm. He’s trying to de-escalate,” Shining Armor said.
“And what does that mean?”
“Son Goku is in complete control of the situation,” Vermarine Quartz said. “He’s not using any serious life energy. Minimum movements. Calm. Collected. Casual. Effortless.”
“Good,” Mutaito smiled. “Glad to see western rulers with awareness. Now. What do you predict will happen?”
“Son Goku will need to use more life power,” a crystal pegasis guard said. “Right now, dodging with such little room to spare could be giving self-confidence to his opponent considering his ego.”
Tao began shooting small ki balls.
Goku fluidly flew between them.
“Decent scattershot,” he said. “Piccolo’s is better.”
Tao raised both his front legs, then threw them down crossing his hooves.
The balls stopped and shot at Goku.
Goku repeated the performance. Many shots impacted each other and exploded.
“He’s leading the blasts away from the stands,” Shining Armor said.
“Guided scatter shot. Also Piccolo. Got anything new?”
Tao blew steam out his nose. He held his front legs sideways then slammed his hooves together.
The balls began rotating around each other following the same path and merged into one wide beam.
Goku again sidestepped it and watched the large beam enter the sky and hit the great shield.
It passed right through without even a flicker.
The crowd began to shout in panic as the empire’s one defender failed spectacularly.
“The crystal heart just… failed…” Shining Armor said, mouth agape.
“Did thou not know of that weakness?” Mutaito looked at them. “The late empress was keenly aware of it.” He looked back up, “Tis why she gave us autonomy and eternal land rights.”
“You were her army?” Flash asked.
“We were her protectors… but treachery from within cannot be so easily dealt with a ki blast.” He sighed, “I wonder if Earth is still as beautiful as the descriptions after one thousand years.”
Shining Armor spun his head to him. “You’re not leaving. We need you and your ponies,” he also looked back up. “Especially since this power is completely normal for the rest of the galaxy. The shields….” His voice trailed off. “… I’m useless…” he said softly.
Goku looked confused at the screaming crowds, frantically looking for a stay crater or something to justify it.
Tao shot a bolt of lightning at him while he was distracted.
Goku went stiff as a board, and fell silently to the ground.
“(SO!)” Tao grinned maniacally, “(Rén are weak to lightning. Good to know).”
Goku shook his head, then leapt out of the way into the air as a lightning bolt hit the ground where he was.
“Oh, my arm hairs are standing up.”
Duck.
“Fucking hell, dude!”
Dodge.
“I have heart issues! Come on, AHH!”
Leap in between the legs.
“You trying to kill me?!”
Goku dodged another bolt and heard screams.
Goku looked behind him and saw Tao had knocked a chunk out of a nearby building.
“Fuck.”
Goku darted for the ground. He dodged two more strikes as he swooped down and grabbed the microphone pole. The microphone itself was pulled loose by the cord as Goku flew back up in the sky.
Goku let go of the pole and levitated it next to him.
“And what good will that do for you?” Tao shot another bolt.
It diverted and hit the pole.
Goku smiled. “IT’S METAL FOOL!”
Tao sneered and doubled down on the lightning.
Goku spun the pole around and soon was able to control the direction the bolt exited.
“Quick witted and resourceful,” Mutaito beamed. “What a wonderful student his Kame-Senin has raised.”
“That smile,” Shining Armor said frustrated. “He’s playing with him now instead of ending it.”
“Yeah, he’s definitely messing with him now,” Flash gritted his teeth, “And after that building was damaged. Maybe we should evacuate the civilians.”
“Doesth thou not see the monks standing along the safety line? All art safe.”
Tao shouted in frustration and shot a ki blast at the pole.
Goku tucked it behind him and deflected the blast with his arm.
Tao looked surprised, then made several balls and shot a large beam of fire. The balls of light circled the inferno as it hurtled towards him.
Goku just smiled and stood still as it impacted him.
“Goku!” Shining and many of his guards shouted at once as the rest of the audience screamed.
Once the smoke settled, Goku was fine. His clothes were worn and burning in a couple places, but he was unharmed.
And still grinning.
“You know, that lightning took me off guard. I’ve never seen it before, but honestly if my wife wasn’t so paranoid after my heart attack, I wouldn’t have bothered. I’d rather not get murdered by her if she found out I didn’t dodge.”
Goku stopped levitating the pole and let it fall to the ground.
Toa shot a bolt again.
This time Goku waved his arm and the bolt changed direction into the sky.
“How did you redirect it without it hitting you?!” he shouted.
“I don’t blame you guys for not being able to do that, considering how hampered your ki use is.”
“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!” Tao gestured to his locks. “I DON’T HAVE A GRAIN OF MAGIC IN ANY OF MY CHANNELS!”
Goku formed his fists and tapped them together. “Your hooves. They are just hard dead tissue, right? Must be like trying to use a cell phone while wearing boxing gloves.”
Goku held his hands in front of him. “You wanted to see the best Earth’s Kame School of martial arts has to offer? Well, here it is. I suggest you dodge.”
So much light came from his hands Shining Armor’s goggles darkened to a black dot.
Everyone else without goggles were covering their heads and gasping in surprise and pain.
Goku began moving his arms to his side.
“KA-ME-HA-ME-HAAAAA!”
A wide black streak came from his hands with a loud roar of wind that stung on his fur as the wave of pressure pushed Shining Armor’s mane straight back.
Tao did not dodge, but put all his power into a shield.
“Idiot!” someone shouted as Shining Armor’s goggles went pure black at the impact.
Then came more screams.
Shining pulled his goggles off.
Goku was still where he was, with his arms in the air.
Tao was nowhere to be found at first.
“(You cost me my hair!)”
“(I saved your life!)”
Tao and Shen were rolling and punching each other on the ground. Tao had lost most of his mane, but Shen was much worse off.
Half his robe was gone, his haunches and back legs burned and bleeding, and the hair on his tail was almost completely gone leaving the physical stump.
The monks rushed from the safety line to break up the fight while the nurses that treated Kame earlier grabbed their bags.
Tao got on top and pinned him, and being so much larger, was able to begin stomping on his burnt legs.
The monks grabbed and began pulling him off, but Tao sent them sprawling with his ki.
Then Goku flew down, physically picked him up, leaving him cursing and his legs flailing in the air. Goku casually carried Tao like a sack of flour over his shoulder then tossed him hard on the ground.
“Stay out of my way,” he glared down into the crater.
Goku turned his back and began walking away.
Tao shook himself off and lunged at his back. Goku did not turn around, he simply raised his hand, uppercutting his jaw. He flew higher than the stands before landing with a thud.
He did not get up.
Shen was screaming when Goku ran up. He saw his bleeding feet.
“Oh, Kais. I didn’t do that, right?” Goku was physically shocked.
“No,” Shen said. “You didn’t break my legs.” He took a sharp breath and lifted his head, “Why did you? You tried to kill him.”
“No. I said at the beginning I was not going to hurt him. I was always going to pull the beam up when I saw it wouldn’t bounce off the big shiny shield,” Goku said, glancing up briefly. “But the energy would be enough to singe his fur a little. I wasn’t expecting you to jump up.” Goku scratched his nose, “I thought you guys were stronger.”
Shen lowered his head back on the ground. “I’m not surprised. I… can’t believe you concentrated so much ki into such a small beam. That dumb ass didn’t even notice…”
Goku held up his palm. “Like I said, it’s your hooves. There’s a barrier between your flesh and the air.”
“Wouldn’t clothing cause the same issue?” a monk asked.
Goku looked at him, “While I don’t normally wear gloves, I’ve never noticed a problem. But there’s a major issue with how I’ve seen you guys handle ki. It’s messy, very thin. Like putting a spray nozzle on a garden hose.”
The ponies lifted their dominant front leg and looked at their hooves.
A minotaur stepped forward. “Son Goku. Would you teach us? As ponies are the ones who revealed the teachings through the mirror, we all use ki the same way.”
Goku rubbed his chin, “I can try. I’m nowhere near 100%. The kill curse the ice ghosts used attacks your ki and sucks it dry. I have more ki than it can eat, but I really felt it while trying to do the Kamehameha. It felt like trying to force water through a sponge.”
“How long will it take to wear off?” he asked, worried.
“Should be gone by tomorrow, but that’s when I’m headed to grab Vegeta and Bulla. I mean, I can always come back. But I don’t know how soon I can do that.” Goku gave his goofy grin. “I mean I really want to. Discovering brand new styles is always fun. I’d honestly rather learn than teach.”
“DON’T THOU DARE HEAL HIM!”
“AS LONG AS HE HAS NO BROKEN BONES, DON’T WAKE TAO UP YET!”
Mutaito landed while Shining Armor ran up, Flash Sentry floating next to him keeping pace. Flash landed next to Shining Armor when he stopped.
“Son Goku. I am sorry, but I must ask you to guard Tao for the time being. As thoroughly demonstrated, our hoofcuffs are useless against his power.”
“Again, all matters of ki and the East art handled by the daimyo. The treaty should be easy to find in the palace papers,” Mutaito said harshly. He looked back at Goku and softened his expression. “Son Goku, I must ask a similar request. But to take him to the daimyo and not the palace.” He looked back at the prince, “As you just said, the palace is highly inadequate for the task.”
Goku looked at Tao. “You’re arresting him for something?”
Flash angrily pointed at the smoking building.
Goku opened his mouth and gave a silent “ohhhhhhhhhhh.” Then he scratched his head. “Why didn’t it have a lightning rod?”
“A what?” both Flash and Shining said.
“A metal guard that protects from lightning strikes. Like how I used the pole to protect myself.”
“Is every building on Earth inside a metal cage?”
“No, it’s just a metal stick and wires.”
“Pony-made lightning will go wherever the pony desires,” Flash Sentry said.
“I believe you mean magic lighting,” Goku said. “That was real lighting. And real lighting will hit the highest point unless metal is present.” He gestured casually at the damaged stone building. “And that’s the tallest thing in that direction.”
“All lighting is—” Flash stopped himself.
“Magic?” Mutaito raised his eyebrow.
“Wait…” Goku said, scratching his head. “Did you actually think he was aiming at the pole?”
“Lightning,” Shining Armor cut into the conversation, “Can be deflected by metal at very short range, but that was the first time I saw it used effectively.”
“Because magic makes the lighting go exactly where the person wants, right?” Goku grinned. “But he had no magic with all those chains he was wearing.”
“Your majesty,” a guard rushed over. “The dean and president are talking to the press.”
~~***~~
At the press core, the equestrians were frantic while the crystal ponies were calmer, but still shocked.
“President Shimmering Cirrus. Foreign Correspondent Tin Foil from the Manehattan Herald. What do you say to the complete and utter failure of the crystal heart?”
“Ki and magic do not mix,” he said calmly. He pointed up with his hoof. “While previous demonstrations never reached the level of a true fight like we just witnessed, the fact a blast went through the shield was completely expected.”
“Are you saying we are all helpless against this alien threat?!”
“You’re a moron,” a younger crystal pony shouted. She turned to Shimmering Cirrus. “President, Obsidian Razor, university press. What will you do about the long running betting pool over when the Dolomite Conservatory’s façade would finally fail after all the repeated lightning strikes over the six decades it’s been taught?”
“Well, while the circumstances are unusual, in the end this was a lesson and so it would be wrong to—”
“Don’t say another word! That’s an order,” Shining Armor ran up.
Guards began separating the staff from the press.
“Prince Shining Armor, what tis this about?”
“You’re both being taken for questioning. This entire situation is completely unacceptable.”
“Is this about the damaged conservatory?” Obsidian Razor asked, “This happens nearly every year. It’s norm—”
“Silence,” Shining Armor ordered, his horn lit.
Magic wrapped around the student and the pony found herself unable to make any noise.
“Sire, release my student!” President Shimmering Cirrus demanded.
“I don’t care that this was normal over a thousand years ago. While it may be only a little over a year for your minds, that does not matter. That is ancient history. This is today, AND ALL OF THIS,” he shouted. “is unacceptable!”
Goku dropped down in the middle of them.
“Ok, that’s enough shouting.”
“Son Goku, this does not involve you.”
“No, this does involve me. If anything, this is my fault.”
“And why do you say that?”
“Because I’m the one who told Kame the story of how I once shot a ki blast from my feet to win a fight. He told me he had never thought of using his back hooves before. Without that, Tao would have never gotten his ego bruised. And if I wasn’t his opponent, he would have never put that much energy into that blast that damaged that building. Rén are supposed to be all powerful masters of ki. Lord Mutaito even called me an unbreakable wall. Of course he put everything he had into that fight. And the only injuries that happened to the crowd were also because of me.”
He looked over at the ponies having their eyes treated by the nurses, “I’m too bright for you guys. Even in my suppressed state.”
“Are you volunteering to be arrested in Tao’s place? Why?”
“Because he did not do anything wrong. Now,” Goku clasped his hands together so forcefully the sound made everyone’s ears ring. “Let’s meet this daimyo.”
He was grinning ear to ear.