Equestria War Radio

It’s about two o’clock in the morning, by the time we’re finished (I think) talking about our lives in our respective walks. I find his life fascinating, and I’m pretty sure he feels the same for me. I’m now more interested than ever in finding out more about this world.

It’s called “Earth,” he tells me. It’s one of nine planets that their “scientists” have discovered in their solar system. I’m curious as to what sort of person a scientist was, so he explains that a scientist is a person who does experiments to test various theories out and to acquire knowledge.

“Ah!” I say. “So in our world, Twilight Sparkle would be a scientist!”

He looks at me with a blank expression on his face. Oops. I forgot that he wasn’t from our world. I explain to him who Twilight Sparkle is, and what she does.

“Yep,” he replies, “that sounds like a scientist, alright. She seems like  a pretty interesting individual.”

“Oh yeah, she is!” I reply, grinning. “In fact, she’s kinda… the reason why I’m here.”

He looks at me with an intrigued expression on his face. “She’s the reason, eh? What did she do? Make a machine that could transport people- or ponies, in your case- to other universes?”

“Well, that’s not really how it started out,” I admit. “She was really just trying to test out a theory.”

“And something went wrong?”

I shrug. “Not sure. All that technical stuff she deals with, kinda confuses me. That’s why I was so surprised when Twilight wanted me to participate in her experiment.”

“Meaning… what?”

I sigh. This is going to take some delicate explaining. I catch him up to the point where conveniently, I’m at in my own memories, then I continue:

Twilight was positively skipping with joy as they came up on the library. “I’m so happy!” she was saying. “I didn’t think anyone would volunteer to be my test subject. This is some ground-breaking stuff!” As she came up on the door, it opened automatically to reveal a short purple-and-green dragon.

“Hey, Spike!” Derpy said, smiling widely. This was, as she’d said, her first interaction with Twilight’s number-one assistant, and she wanted to make a good first impression.

Spike looked at her oddly. “Um… Hi there, Ditzy Doo.” He looked at Twilight. “What’s she doing here? I thought you were going to ask the Doctor to be your test subject.”

“I was,” Twilight explained, “but when I went to the Doctor’s house to ask him, he wasn’t there. Ditzy said that he was out doing something for Mayor Mare or something like that. Anyways, Ditzy volunteered to do the experiment!”

Spike shot a deadpan look at his best friend. “You didn’t actually tell her what the experiment was, did you?”

“Well, no, but I didn’t really get a chance to… She agreed to do it before I could even get word one out, about what it was going to entail. So, I just told her that I’d explain it to her when we got back to the lab.”

“Speaking of,” Derpy cut in, “where is your lab? I really want to see what it looks like.”

“Oh…” Twilight said, looking a bit abashed. “Well… you’re kinda looking at it.”

Derpy looked at her funny. “This isn’t a lab, though. It’s a library.” Realization dawned on the wall-eyed pony’s face. “Oh! I get it! You’ve got some kind of image-alteration magic cast on it, so anyone who walks in will just see a regular library, but you and Spike can see it as the actual laboratory that it is. It makes perfect sense!”

“Wow,” Twilight responded. “I’m surprised you figured it out. Maybe it was a better choice to have you do this, than the Doctor.”

“But that’s not what it is at all!” Spike retorted. “This is an honest-to-Celestia library. We just use this as our experiment space because right now, we can’t afford a high-tech facility.”

Twilight and Ditzy looked at each other and burst into laughter.

“What?” Spike asked, nonplussed. “What on earth is so funny?”

“I know that,” Derpy replied. “Twilight explained that much to me on the way over. I was just kidding with you.”

“Oh.” Spike was mentally kicking himself. He was normally a bit more astute than that- well, except when it came to a particularly creepy owl, but he never talked about that with anyone. Not even Twilight brought it up anymore.

“It’s fine,” Twilight said, still giggling a bit. “We just felt like giving you a hard time…” She looked at Derpy. “So, now it’s time for me to actually tell you what’s going to be going on here.”

Derpy looked at her attentively. “Got it.”

“Well,” Twilight began, “lately I’ve been working on something new. Something that I don’t think any pony has ever even tried to develop. It’s been really hard-coming, but I think I may have actually perfected it.”

“What?” Derpy asked. “What is it?”

Twilight smiled. “It’s a magical spell that allows massive quantities of items to be transported across huge tracts of land using just- like I said- magic. It’ll revolutionize the way that items are shipped.”

Derpy looked at her oddly. “Um, but… Don’t they already have something for that? You know… trains?”

“Well, yes, but trains take too long. Plus, you have to have all those ponies on board just to make sure that the cargo gets there without incident. With this, you free them up to do other things. It wouldn’t make the train completely useless, now; I mean, my magic can’t be used to transport living things- other than myself, anyways. Just inanimate objects.” She looked at Derpy now, smiling. “Or can it?”

This was what Derpy was waiting for. “So you’re saying it can be used to transport living things?”

“I don’t know yet. I’ve never tried it. That’s where you come in.”

True realization was now coming upon the mailmare. “So… you want me to be the first experiment?”

“Well, the Doctor, technically. I mean, I’ve used him in a few other of my more… reality-altering experiments, and he’s pretty much always come back unharmed.”

“Pretty much?”

“Well, yeah… I mean there was that one time we sent him to this universe, and he landed on some planet called Skaro. Well, somehow on the return trip, he got himself an extra heart. They both work just fine, mind you; he’s just got one more than everyone else does.”

Derpy thought it was kind of odd that the Doctor had never mentioned this to her, but she shrugged it off. She’d simply make a mental note to ask the Doctor about that later.

“That’s fine,” Derpy replied. “I’d be fine with an extra heart, especially if it worked okay. I’ll still be part of your experiment.”

Twilight sighed in relief; she’d been thinking that maybe her words would have scared Derpy a little bit. But, she seemed as stubbornly fearless as always. This was a good thing.

“Okay, Spike,” Twilight said. “Get the starting block.” She smiled widely. “It’s a race to the finish!”

I slowly become aware of the fact that my new friend seems to no longer be awake. I don’t know what to think… Was my story that boring? I don’t want him to think I’m boring…

Out of curiosity, I check the pocket watch I got earlier. Oh. So apparently it’s almost four in the morning. That would explain why he fell asleep…

I’m tired, too, now that I come to think about it. So, I scoot over to him and flop down onto my side, laying my head on his chest. I feel his soft breathing and it oddly comforts me. I stare up at the sky for a few minutes, before my eyes grow heavy, and I finally slip away into sleep.