The Writhing

It had been three years. Even mediocre mages were starting to notice. Once or twice a week, Twilight would get a panicked letter from a wizard requesting a personal audience or explaining the situation. She always answered with the same form letter, well exercised by now. They would be informally asked to keep their discovery secret and cordially invited to Canterlot to assist the Royal Arch Mage Starlight Glimmer in her continuing studies of the end. The letter ended on a note of hope, a note that their assistance might make the difference and save everything.

Every single one of them had taken the offer so far, and the mages gallery was growing to an almost unmanageable size. Twilight had plans to release some of the guard and use the space for more mages. The guards would get a full pension, a security briefing about the end, and a recommendation to spend time with their families.

She knew it was futile, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care about much anymore, merely keeping up the charade so her ponies could live in ignorant bliss.

Spike had left, not out of fear or spite, but merely to have his own adventures. He wanted to live his own life for a while. They still kept in touch, and his letters were one of the few sources of joy for her. Flurry was turning out to be a ferocious leader, keeping the Crystal Empire running while Cadence suffered under the same ennui that kept Twilight awake at night. Flurry had told Twilight that the empire would run honorably, smoothly, and effectively until the last day. When it was over, the crystal ponies would go with pride.

Celestia and Luna were exploring options with their respective celestial bodies. Luna could host a small number of ponies for a few years, but the airless environment limited it to alicorns only. Celestia could temper her sun to provide warmth and safety for a few hundred ponies, but only for a few days. Eventually the sun would burn through her little synthetic paradise, turning the bubble into a searing inferno. Even then, they could feel the sun and the moon waning, the magic weakening the same as everything else. At most they’d eek out a few extra decades.

Twilight wasn’t fooled by the efforts or platitudes of the sisters. Their eyes were dead. If these were the options, the sisters were instead likely to spend their time together on Equis rather than spend their final moments apart to gain a few fleeting decades. She didn’t blame them either, this wasn’t their fault.

She’d thought over Discord’s explanation and given it serious consideration. If his gods were truly the root cause of the dead world, that lead to an uncomfortable realization. According to him the world had died because his gods of creation had left it. If what he’d said was real, she had a horrifying suspicion that his gods hadn’t left because she’d made a mistake in imprisoning Cozy Glow. Cozy was truly a monster and aside from murdering the filly, turning her to stone was the only possible sane outcome.

If Twilight’s actions had influenced Discord’s so called gods, that meant that his gods of creation had left because she hadn’t made a mistake. They were here for entertainment. It’s possible they’d been watching different ponies over the years, and she was simply the last one. When she achieved true princesshood, when she inherited Equestria from Celestia, the story was over. There was nothing else to watch. They’d moved on to… somewhere else… exactly because of what Discord had said.

They’d gotten bored.

Where did that leave Twilight? Where did it leave her ponies? Discord’s gods wouldn’t care. They never really would have. They were gods of creation, not salvation. They created not only the ponies, but Discord as well. Chrysalis, Sombra, the Storm King, even the little monster Cozy Glow was just a figment of their imagination given form. All the suffering of her ponies had been for their entertainment.

Now they were gone. Something more entertaining, or at least more contemporary had been created elsewhere. Or perhaps they’d simply grown bored of ponies. The stories had been explored, the monsters defeated, the heroes had won. Discord claimed they would never come back. That they could never come back, at least to this incarnation. He’d said that they’d lost their “funding” whatever that meant in this context. He said the dream was over, and that Twilight should let him and Fluttershy live out their time in peace, because it would be time to wake up soon.

Twilight had no desire to wake up. She counted the ponies in her city, feeling their vibrations through her hooves, and listening to their chatter with her ears. She felt the air with her wings, and their magic with her horn. She breathed, focusing on what was left of the world, and what was in it.

Her perception was crystal clear. Every pony in her city was where it should be, every marking what it should be. The air was cold and heavy, while the magic was slow to respond. The sounds had muffled. The colors were dull. Observing intently, she could feel how the world had lost it’s sharp edges. It was fraying, coming apart at the seams. The youngest would be first.

The foals had no future.

Twilight fought back tears she didn’t know she still had within, but failed as the warm wet drops leaked down her face. She watched as they pooled underneath her, slowly and silently filling the cracks in the stonework. Once, some mason had considered this floor to be the pinnacle of his work. Now it was merely a basin for her sorrow to gather in.

The tiny pool of tears grew, and she couldn’t look away from it. The reflection showed a haggard looking creature with sunken eyes and a gaunt face that only vaguely resembled Twilight Sparkle. When was the last time she’d eaten? When was the last time she’d taken care of herself at all?

She was immortal, but the signs of starvation an exhaustion were clear. Twilight thought back to Flurry’s cold fury and razor sharp will the last time they’d met. At the time, she’d thought Flurry’s anger and focus was a way for her to cope with the end of her short life. In a way, it probably was. Now she realized that seeing Twilight so beaten had certainly aggravated her emotions. Coincidentally, Twilight hadn’t seen Cadence since the conference. Was Cadence just as worn and tired as she?

Had Cadence given up as well?

Twilight shook her head. What had Flurry said? It was something like “With dignity and pride”. That had been directed at her, hadn’t it? Twilight had been too withdrawn to notice, but the whole meeting suddenly took on another meaning. Flurry was frustrated with Twilight not because she couldn’t fix the problem, but because she had so obviously given up on what was left.

She’d have to do something about that. Twilight would take care of herself, recover, and apologize to Flurry. Her young niece was turning out to be the strongest out of all of them, and she deserved Twilight’s support in any way she could get it. Even if it was something as simple as taking a bath and brushing her mane.

The guard outside her door jumped, surprised to hear her call after a seeming eternity of silent nights. “Please call for food. I haven’t eaten in months.”

A shuffled noise, and a rapid answer came from the other side of the door. “Right away, Your Highness.” There was a pause, then it continued. “It’s actually been about two years…”

Twilight sucked in a breath. That was unexpected. What else had she been forgoing? “Then perhaps I should have a bath drawn.”

The guard responded quickly. “Of course, your highness. I’d… recommend it.”

She sighed. Her ponies sure put up with a lot from her. “I apologize Ms…”

“Sergeant Shield Dreams, your majesty.”

Twilight chuckled. The military types were often hung up on their silly ranks. “Is Sergeant your name then?”

“No, your highness.”

“Then is Ms. Dreams appropriate?”

The guard paused for a second before answering. “No, your Highness. Sergeant Shield Dreams is the appropriate address for me. However, you’re the princess. Nopony is going correct you if you’d rather call me Ms. Dreams.”

Twilight opened the door, surprising the guard once more. “Just like nopony corrected me on my poor bathing habits?”

The guard was a green earth pony mare. She had a small frame, slender build, but carried a standard spear. Twilight figured that the little mare must be an extraordinarily competent fighter to be posted at Twilight’s door. Usually her guards were big and intimidating, or very lethal.

Twilight continued to stare at her. This guard didn’t have the magic of harmony within. She would die sometime in the next three years. “Do you have any family, Dreams? Any special somepony or close relatives, or perhaps even foals?”

The foals had no future.

Dreams shifted nervously under the awkwardly intense gaze of her sovereign. “I uh… do not, your majesty. Most of your personal guards are selected from a pool of ponies that… uh… don’t have much to lose if they have to sacrifice themselves for you.”

Twilight stared at her, wondering at her innocence. Some of the guard knew. “Do you know what plagues me, Dreams? Do you know why I am so preoccupied that I do not eat, sleep, or bathe?”

Dreams gulped, looking nervously around as though she hoped the food that she’d just sent for would show up immediately and save her from this strange interrogation. Twilight cocked her head, noting that nopony was coming to save her little Dreams. “Well, Dreams? Have you been briefed?”

The guard answered slowly, as if this was a test. “I have been… briefed… your highness. But I have also been ordered not to discuss the matters I have been briefed on with anypony.”

Twilight leaned down to Dreams, invading the guard’s personal space and then slowly going further by whispering directly in her ear. “Whatever orders they may have been, they are now officially rescinded by a royal order.” Dream’s ear didn’t flick away, and seemed to even lean in to Twilight’s mouth. Twilight gave it a surprise nibble, causing the guard to gulp.

“Now, tell me what you know.” Twilight stayed where she was, intently watching the little green guard’s neck, especially where the fur under her light green mane was slowly turning pink.

“You… and the other princesses… haven’t been the same since the conference. The world is ending, supposedly. And you’re trying to stop it… like you always do.”

Twilight gave a light lick to her little guard’s ear, and was satisfied to feel it once again lean towards her mouth. “And what if I told you that I couldn’t stop it, Dreams? That nothing can?”

Dreams shivered. “I’d guess… I’d understand why you’d let yourself go… like this.”

Twilight blew lightly through Dreams mane. She was surprised the guard was holding up as well as she did. Twilight was breaking more than a few rules about how to interact with her guards, but right at this moment she couldn’t give a damn. “What if you were me, the all powerful princess, and you couldn’t do anything about this coming end. Nothing at all. What would you do?”

Dreams swallowed again. “Well, that’s why you’re the princess and I’m not. I’m just here to guard this door and yoooo…” Twilight was nibbling on her ear again, this time a little more intently.

Twilight gave her a light nip, causing the mare to shiver. “Now please be honest, Dreams. I like honesty. It’s one of the core elements of friendship. Truth be told, I would very much like to be your friend.” Twilight put a hoof on the small of Dream’s back, and sent a quick pulse of magic through the mare. Just a little bit, nothing serious, but Dreams would probably find it pleasant and refreshing.

Dreams faltered, taking a moment before she answered with a wavering voice. “I… uhh.. well… If I have to be honest… It’s not very noble… but I’d live like I was fresh outta boot again.”

Twilight smiled, trailing her hoof in a circle around Dreams heavy armor. “Oh? Maybe have a nightly feast, get pampered by the masseuse, and drink a little too much wine?”

Dreams nodded. “Something like that.”

Twilight pulled back slightly, trailing her hoof up Dreams body as she went, until she’d grabbed Dreams by the chin and forced the flushed and embarrassed guard to look Twilight in the eyes. “Now Dreams, that’s not all, is it? Is there anything else you’d do? Anypony else, perhaps?”

The guard‘s face was flush, reminding Twilight more of a beet than a pony. “I… uhh… yeah. If I gotta be honest. I’d probably have a different mare or stallion with me every night.”

Twilight smiled. “Now, that is a slight difference. If it was purely for my enjoyment, I’d only have mares. That being said, I wouldn’t be against indulging a stallion or two for their fun. Generosity is important in relationships.”

Dreams gulped, somehow turning even more red.

Twilight continued. “I wouldn’t do that, of course. A princess has to stay dignified. Set an example for her ponies and all that. I worry quite a bit about being a model citizen.”

Twilight watched closely as Dreams seemed to let out a sigh, and relax. The poor thing.

“But now, I’m thinking that maybe my ponies still need me to role model for them. And I’d very much like for them to spend the rest of their time doing what they love instead of worrying.”

Dreams stiffened up ever so slightly.

Twilight continued, this time gently running her hoof from Dreams’ chin down to her shoulder. The green mare was a pretty little thing. “I really should be a better role model. What do you think, Dreams?”

Dreams blinked, unsure of how to respond.

“I want my little ponies to enjoy what time they have left. What do you say, Dreams? Will you help me set a good example for them?”

Dreams cautiously nodded her head, her eyes locked on Twilight’s own. “I’d be happy to help, your majesty.”

Twilight smiled. “I think we have a few minutes until food arrives. I’m officially releasing you from your post, but not your duty, for the night. You are to guard me, personally, all night long.”

Dreams eyes squinted, causing her to look a little concerned. Twilight faltered, suddenly very worried that she’d misread the situation. “Oh. I’m not trying to force you. I’m sorry if I’m coming on a little strong. It’s been… a long time for me.”

The little guard, shook her head, the blush still bright. “Oh, you’re not forcing anything on me your highness. It’s just… ahh…” She looked nervous and shy, almost reminding Twilight of Fluttershy when they were both young.

Twilight put on her best encouragement face. “It’s okay, you can tell me.”

Slowly, Dreams answered. “About that bath…”

Twilight was almost glad she could still feel completely mortified.

Almost.

Twilight smiled, laying in bed with the mare. The evening had gone well, and she’d cajoled her little guard into actually sleeping after utterly exhausting the dear thing. They’d bathed first, feasted second, and had a wonderful dessert of each other. Twilight now had actionable plans as well. When the morning came, she’d take Dreams with her to raise the sun; out of uniform, of course. She wanted her little ponies to see that she’d bedded somepony, not think she was taking advantage of her guard.

The night after, she’d ask Dreams to bring a friend. The mare had an interesting love life, and knew a few “casual hookups” as she called them that would be delighted to spend the evening with Princess Twilight. All Twilight would ask is that they help her set an example, and make a public showing with her. Every morning she’d have a few new ponies with her, and all her little ponies would see that she was enjoying herself. It would make for some fun gossip columns to read as well, and give the high society ponies one hell of a scandal to keep them busy.

She smiled to herself, pleased with her plan. Her little ponies would see her enjoying herself, and hopefully they’d understand that she wanted them to enjoy life. Soon enough, her cheeks would fill out again, and hopefully her color would brighten up just a little. If Equestria had to go, it should go with a plump and happy princess; not the gaunt skeleton of a mare that she was.

Flurry deserved an apology. Twilight considered writing her an invitation, and perhaps inviting her to a party. An end of the world party. They could make it an annual thing, at least a few more times.

Twilight forced back her tears as a sudden sorrow threatened to overcome her. She could fake it. She’d bite it back from here on out for her ponies, for her niece, and for her country.

With that hope in her heart, she cast a tranquilizing spell on herself to sleep. Twilight needed to look fresh in the morning, and if a heavy duty sleeping spell was what it would take, then that was what she would use.

As her eyes closed tight and her brain slowed to a crawl, she wished she could do anything to save them for real. Anything at all.

Her heart ached, and all she could think as she fell asleep was the same horrible thought that had been haunting her mind for the last three years.

The foals had no future.