Saturday, September 6th, 908 AB

Cure slowly wakes, feeling the relaxing sensation of his mom grooming his mane and the short hairs of his ears with her tongue. Though the thought kinda grosses and weirds out his human part, the colt instincts apparently have taken over, because the only thing he feels inclined to do is roll over so she can get his neck and chin too.

Knowing that the days of being the baby are limited and he'll only get to be the center of attention for another six months, tops, he listens to his instincts and luxuriates in the attention for as long as he can.

After several minutes Title completes her task and gently lays her head on her son's chest between his forelegs. Wrapping his mom's head in a hug, Cure finally breaks the morning's silence. "Mornin' mom. Love you. How'd ya sleep?"

"Love you too, Cure, honey. I don't think I've ever slept so well. I bet your dam is still snoring away too. That massage was ah-may-zing!" she says, emphasizing every syllable while nuzzling his chest. "Forget cooking for a filly to win her heart, just give her a massage and she'll be yours forever."

"Well don't forget it's dad's turn tonight," he says while poking a cheek, "so no hogging me! You gotta learn to share," he admonishes with a mock scowl.

"Nooooo! Don't wanna."

After a few more minutes of quiet, Title looks at the room's only window. "We may need to get some thicker curtains for the weekend so we can sleep in some more."

Glancing that way, Cure slowly nods. "Yeah, I just happened to end up with an east-facing window. Your room's windows are north and west facing, so you just wouldn't have noticed before. I'm up around sunrise every day anyhow… but I guess this won't just be my room for much longer huh?"

"You have a couple years before you'll have company. She’ll be sleepin with us ‘till she’s potty trained. Then we'll see how ya feel about sharing!" she says with a teasing smile.

Repeating her line, he flails his hooves saying, "Nooooo! Don't wanna." Getting a few soft giggles from his mom, Cure just smiles contently. After a minute he adds, "Actually, I'm pretty okay with that. I'm good waiting a while to be a daddy, but big brother sounds alright. I can't wait to teach 'em all to be mischievous and sneaky. It'll be great."

Giving him a nip in the legpit Title warns him, "You better not, mister. You'll be the one cleaning up after 'em and explaining their behavior to their victims, not me. I'll just shrug and blame you for everything."

"I said to check if the government needed help, not run for office. You'll fit right in though."

"Huh? Oh! The cutie mark thing. Yeah, I need to check that out. It's kinda been floatin in the back of my head since you brought it up."

"Mmm… like a weak compulsion?"

Title pauses a moment and tilts her head. "... huh. I hadn't thought of it like that before."

"Just keep in mind that it's not automatically sinister. Compulsion can be good too. Hunger is one. Caring for your foal is too. Maybe it's the tug of destiny leading you to happiness." With a teasing lilt he adds, "You'd make a wonderful princess, I bet."

"HA! The nobles would die if some no-name trotted in before the princess and threw off her cloak revealing wings, especially when they found out the horn's new too."

"Yeah. Right now the idea of a new alicorn popping up seems impossible to most ponies. It hasn't happened for thousands of years after all. The next one won't ascend for about seventy years. Her colors will be really close to yours actually. Weird coincidence."

"Assuming your future events happen, that is."

"Yeah…" he agrees, nodding into her chin.

"Or maybe," Cure starts, "new alicorns pop up every few years and the princess eats 'em all gone to steal their power!"

"HA! Bad Cure!"

"Mmm just thinking of all that delicious, savory alicorn meat gets my saliva flowin.” Cure loudly licks his chops and smacks his lips. “Just imagine how tender 'n juicy them ribs must be… Mmm."

Poking the colt I'm the side, Title giggles at his silliness. "No eating the princess, Cure! I will ground you if I have to!"

"Aww, just one bite? I'll heal it back afterwards. Ooh! I could just keep healing and eating the same bite over and over!” Throwing his hooves into the air he faux-yells “Infinite alicorn meat for everypony! I'll get the ketchup, you get some forks!"

"Stars, Cure! Yanno most ponies would be running to the guard by now, right?"

"Mmhmm… but you know you want a taste too. Just a little nibble of those soft, delectable flanks. I bet it's way more savory and delicious than those tuna steaks. And the nutrition in each bite is probably off the charts. Just one sweet, tender morsel and your cravings will be gone! Forever!"

"Damnit, Cure. I swear if I start drooling when thinking of the princess I'm gonna give you such a whoopin…"

"Eh, plenty of stallions already do… and mares, I'm sure, so what's one more? I sure hope she can't read minds though. I bet she'd wonder why one of her little ponies is thinking how she'd taste lightly oiled and seasoned with some pepper, oregano, garlic powder, and a dash of salt."

"Oh stars! You don't think she can, do you?"

"I dunno…" he drawls out. “Where’s her next public appearance? We could go find out. You think hungry thoughts at her and I’ll think lewd ones. We’ll see if the dirty-mind colt or the gluttonous mare draw her attention.”

"Cure!"

"HAH! Just teasin. No, she can't read minds."

"Oh thank goodness."

"Her sister definitely can though."

"What?!"

"Ohh yeah. Princess Luna, the Warden of Dreams, will be curious about the pony that’s dreaming about taking a bite outta her sister when she returns. Reeeeal curious. Better start plannin now, you have ninety two years before the big day. She’s gonna be super protective, ya know? Big sister waited a millennium and is gonna welcome her back, so any threat to big sis Tia is gonna be dealt with."

"You're joking, right?"

"Most of the stories have her wielding an enchanted scythe and coming in the dead of night, stalking through shadows unseen and unheard." Giving her a pat on her cheeks he adds, "You'll probably be fine though, no worries."

"You're evil!"

"Pfft… I'm not the one lustin after some alicorn filets. That's all you, mom." After a moment's pause he widens his eyes as big as he can and adds, "You’re a cannibal!"

"Grrr! I'll show you a cannibal!" Holding the smaller colt down, Title starts giving him little nips all over his belly and chest anywhere she can find some loose skin to grab onto. All the while, giggling, he struggles to break free to no avail.

After a minute the pair calms back down, her laying her chin on his chest again while he huffed out “Bully! Pony eating bully, that’s what you are.”

“You’re the one encouraging me to eat more meat.”

“Yeah… we should probably cook those last fish filets tonight. Another day and they’ll start gettin funky.”

“Mmm that sounds good. Can you do the spicy one again? Just don’t forget to keep it mild…”

“Right, right… nopony wants preggo farts. You know, there’s an easy way to fix that.”

“Oh? Another fancy biomancer trick?”

“Nope, you just get a mallet and a big cork-”

Title rears back to get his belly again. Fortunately for him, Cure has prepared this time and uses his tail and TK to pull himself off the bed, then shoots out the door to the bathroom laughing the whole way before she has a chance to chase after him.

“That little turd…” she grumbles. Licking her chops she can only think of the meat she’ll have for dinner. “Mmm I bet the princess is delicious though.” Eyes widening, she covers her mouth and looks around the empty room. With a sigh of relief she stands to leave, all the while muttering about evil foals.

As usual, Cure is the first to break the silence at breakfast.

“So… agenda for the day?” Cure asks between bites.

With a flat look, Title turns to the colt. “Do you really need to plan out every day, Cure? It’s the weekend. We’ll have plenty to do next Saturday, but once we’re done with the garden I’m good with doing nothin all day.”

“Really? You’re not meeting with friends or reading a book or… I dunno… what do you do for a hobby, anyhow?”

“Usually I read or meet with friends,” Title says while motioning to him with a hoof. “The three of us are going to go into town later, but that’s mainly to go shopping. We need to restock the pantry, especially if we’re eating more ‘cause of your exercises.” Turning to Vines and Deed she asks, “Do we have anything going on tonight with anypony?”

“I was gonna maybe go out to meet the guys around sunset, maybe have a drink or two down at the Tilted Wagon, maybe hang out and play some games for a bit.”

“What kinda games do they play, dad?”

“Cards, darts, shoe toss, things like that.”

“Cool,” he gives a few shallow nods, waiting for his dam to take a drink. “Wanna cheat?”

Blasting water across the table, Vines sputters while recovering. “Cure!”

“Jeez, dam, you have a drinking problem!” he shouts, wiping himself with a napkin. Title can’t help but crack up.

“You keep up and I’m gonna!”

"One Dam's Delight comin right up! … Eventually."

Ignoring the byplay, Deed looks to his son. “I’m curious. Whatchya got, colt?”

“Deed!” she shouts again.

“What? It’s not like we play for money. Usually. I can play it off as a trick and maybe win a drink!”

“It’s dishonest! You shouldn’t cheat.”

“Well just off the top of my head I would say you can do some stuff with your heat sensors. How are those working out, by the way?”

“Not bad, I think maybe better once I get used to them. I woke up a couple times when your dam moved because I “felt” her even if she wasn’t touching me.”

“You didn’t sleep well? I swear Cure must have drugged me last night during that massage because I slept like a rock.”

“Oh, I slept great, honey,” Vines says. Turning to Cure she smiles brightly at him. “I don’t remember much after the neck massage, but everything was just so wonderful I don’t think I could have possibly stayed awake for it all. Thank you so much for that.”

“Huh, okay, good. Anytime, dam. Just remember, though, it’s dad’s turn tonight. Like I told mom this morning, you all need to learn to share me,” he says with a teasing smile.

“Oh! I forgot, son. I may need to take a raincheck tonight. Damn, I was really lookin forward to that too.”

“Eh, maybe tomorrow instead. I’d offer to get ya after the garden but I’m pretty sure you’ll need a few hours to recover from that kinda treatment,” Cure says to enthusiastic nods from both Vines and Title.

“Yeah, babe, you’ll never make it to the store, let alone the bar after that.”

“Good point. Sounds great, sport. Just say the word if you’re not feeling it, I certainly ain’t expecting you to be our personal massage colt from now on.”

“Maybe we’ll make it a weekend treat if you can all behave during the week.”

“That’s very gracious of you, honey. We’ll try very hard to behave.”

“Gotta incentivize ya somehow, dam. I know how mischievous you really are behind that sweet, innocent veneer.” Looking back to his sire, he voices some thoughts on ways to cheat. “So one thing I think could work is if you heated up the stake with your hoof while doing some trash talkin, ya know… to distract them?”

Vines simply rolls her eyes and looks at her son and husband with disappointment. Ignoring her, Deed just mumbles “Uh huh” as he listens. Title sits back and smiles, enjoying the show.

“Well, depending on how good your aim is, once you get it warmed up a bit, put on a blindfold and nail it a couple times in a row. Maybe offer to let ‘em spin ya around first. Tell them you have magic magnet powers or something goofy like that.”

“HA! That’s pretty good. What else ya go?”

“Mmm… I dunno, maybe I could take what I learned from the mosquito’s sense of smell and make you sensitive to something we can’t normally detect, then give you some way to mark cards with it. We’d have to experiment with that a bit and it would only work if you had some way to discreetly mark the cards.”

“So maybe just put it on Princesses, Queens, Kings, and Princes?”

“Yeah, I guess Princess is the highest card, right? I don’t think I’ve played cards here at all,” he says, tapping at his chin in thought. “No… that’s weird. Well I guess I am a bit young for that.”

Shaking himself out of thought he continues, “So human cards go Ace-King-Queen-Jack then number cards from ten down to two. In some games the Ace can be used as a one. Same thing here with Princess and Prince for Ace and Jack?”

“Yep, there's also Fools."

"Ah, we call ‘em jokers."

That’s weird, son. Is that what you have to deal with all the time?”

“All the time, dad. It’s legitimately freaky. I swear the two worlds have to be weird alternate dimensions or something. What really makes no sense is why a princess is higher than a king and queen when a prince isn't.” Pointing an accusing hoof at the ladies he shouts, “That's sexist!"

"Don't start that tripe, mister. That's just a respectful nod to the princess."

"Yer mom's right, colt. That goes back to the Consolidated Card Company in Manehattan a few hundred years ago. The Princess card used to be below the Noble, but somepony suggested it be bumped up and the Prince replaced Noble as a nod to the only two royals at the time."

Deed continues, "It started as a commemorative deck but was so popular they just rolled with it a few years later. Those original decks are worth a small fortune now because there's only a dozen or so left."

Bewildered, Cure looks his sire up and down. "Why are you so weirdly well informed about the history of playing cards?"

Sitting up tall and proud with his snout in the air, Deed defiantly declares, "Yer pa ain't no fool, colt. I know all kinda stuff."

"Trivia night at the bar?" Title asks Vines.

Vines just nods, "Mmhmm, remember in January when he stumbled home talking about how history is dumb? That's the question his team lost on."

"Ah," Title mutters while nodding. "Yeah I remember that night. Wore more'n he drank."

Deed deflates, looking pitifully at his wives. "Really? Yer gonna call me out like that in front of our son?"

Cure gives his dad a supportive look. "Haters gonna hate, pa. I got yer back." Raising a hoof he yells, "Down with the gynarchy!"

Pumping a hoof in the air, Deed joins in. "Yeah! Thanks, son." Leaning towards Title he whispers, "What's a gynarchy?" getting an eye roll back.

"Anyhow, you could possibly mark a card in different spots if I can get your sensitivity turned up enough. Or a different number of marks on each card.”

Mulling it over for a minute Cure realizes there’s an easier way, but only if the circumstances are right.

“What kind of lighting do they have in this… bar? I assume?”

With a nod Deed answers, “Yep, it’s a bar, though they do serve some food. They use crystal lights everywhere, ya know.”

“Crystal lights?”

“Yep, most of the businesses open at night have crystal lights… yanno, it’s a crystal with a light spell array in it that also has a small magic reservoir that can be recharged by unicorns. They've got runes in 'em or somethin.”

“Do we have one? Like… for emergencies?”

“No, sweetie, we don’t. Before last week we never bothered because it only holds a charge for a few weeks. It would be too expensive to keep having a unicorn charge one. Now, I’m not sure…”

“Because we may be able to charge it ourselves, right?” Getting a nod from his dam he turns back to his sire. “Well, that stinks. I was thinking maybe the light source had some UV that you could see, I would just need to give you a few receptor cones and … ah I’m overthinking things, never mind.” At his parents’ look he explains, “I can still do that, but I could also give you a patch on your frog or the tip of your hoof that leaves a UV-emitting bioluminescent marker.”

“Umm… I’m not so sure it’s worth all that, son.”

“Yeah… I suppose not. Well, it was still a good thought experiment. Now you know that something is possible that wasn’t before.” With a mischievous smile, Cure pointed out, “If I’m ever away and worried somepony is reading my messages I could put a UV mark on something only you would pick up, though! Think of the espionage potential!”

With no exposure to Bond, Mission Impossible, or any other spy-romanticizing media, none of the parents seemed to have much enthusiasm for the idea. All three just kind of nodded, humoring their ridiculous colt.

Seeing this, Cure lets out a huff and grumbles, “Gah, ponies and their lack of media. I swear, if I could show you the movies I’ve seen you’d all fall over. I wonder if they can project illusions from a crystal too…”

Seeing their son drift off in thought, the adults take the opportunity to finish their breakfast and start getting ready for the work they need to get done in the yard. Since Deed hadn’t emptied the wagon before going to the rodeo, he goes outside to take care of that first.

Vines hurries to clean up the table and kitchen, while Title makes her escape to keep an eye on her husband.

Several minutes later Cure comes to the conclusion that he really needs to finish the books he already got and make a trip to the library sometime next week, if nothing else for the rune one. Taking his bowl, glass, and silverware to the sink and passing it to his dam, he gives her a quick nuzzle and joins his sire and mom outside.

After the three had gathered outside Vines helped Deed strap himself into the harness for the plow. Expecting some monumental effort, Cure sits back and watches as his dad… casually walks back and forth for a few minutes.

Title stares and just mutters a “huh…” while Vines looks over the rows, then back to Deed who is also standing there looking bewildered.

"That was it? That took like five minutes."

All three parents just look at the colt.

"What? You made it sound like this was going to be some difficult thing and you just basically walked back and forth a couple dozen times." Looking over the field for a minute he considers it before looking back, “I coulda probably just done that whenever. Why’d we wait for the weekend?”

"Cure, sweetie, it's usually a little more difficult than your sire made it look."

"More difficult? I didn't have to give him a boost or nothin. Nice job, by the way, dad."

"Uhh yeah, thanks son. Umm, why don't you go read or whatever since, ya know, I think we have this under control and all."

"Yeah, sure. I figured doubling the garden would take a while, but ok. If it's that simple I'll be inside."

His piece said, Cure trots in the house and gets comfortable on a cushion while going through the books he borrowed the other day. The anatomy book helped at first, but with his scanning ability it's usefulness is greatly diminished. Aside from giving the names of the various body parts he learns far more from looking at past scans.

Man if I was good at drawing I could drastically improve their diagrams. If memories could be dumped into my crystal rune projection idea I could put real scans in and have publishers include them with the book like a CD when I was in college. I really need to research the digital capabilities this society has available already.

Hmm… dumping memories into crystals. I wonder if I can dump them into actual memory cells somehow. Well… that’s definitely a “later” project there, but there’s real potential there. Stick a “memory bug” somewhere and copy its memories back later or set up some kind of video surveillance system. Eh, later.

The dietary book had some useful stuff, but he's already read most of it and the special dietary needs for various esophageal and GI issues probably won't apply much when he can just hoofwave away anything requiring a special diet.

Thickened liquids sound awful. I can't imagine drinking a glass of water with the consistency of honey. Blech. It sounds like water-flavored jello. … Actually, I guess that wouldn’t be too terrible as long as it’s cold. Either way, thank Harmony I'll never have to deal with this shit.

The only book he hasn't had time to look over is the safety book from CSGU. The one he was explicitly told to read by the only adult unicorn he knows, who also apparently knows the author, before doing any magic. Know Before You Cast.

Hmm. Maybe this should have been my first stop? Nah, I haven’t “cast” anything. No horn so who cares, it's not like my own magic would hurt me anyway. Well, unless I told it to like the catfish venom, I guess. Ah well, I have nothin else to do until lunch anyhow.

Joining his family for lunch, Cure was more than a little shaken from the horror stories of miscast spells and experiments gone awry. Playing it as cool as possible, he did his best not to let his parents figure out anything was wrong. Still, the normal exuberance could not easily be faked.

Ignoring the slightly curious and-or worried stares, he tries to dispel the quiet atmosphere. "So, the whole garden thing was a cakewalk. Are we still going to leave it until spring or is there something we can plant that'll be harvestable in the next four weeks?"

"Son, I think you may be underestimating how hard pulling a plow normally is."

"What? I know humans used horses to pull plows… of course those are like twice our weight.” Tapping on his chin in thought he considers what he knows about farming. Which is a hell of a lot of nothing, basically.

Didn’t they have like… oxen or something pull shit? Those are big, heavy fuckers. Maybe it’s harder than it seems. Still, such a small garden, even if it’s hard it wouldn’t take long. Meh, not my problem I guess.

Not waiting for him to finish his thoughts, Title explains, "It's not a big garden, only about twenty meters to a side, but each row usually takes a few minutes at least… normally… and pulling that plow when it’s stuck in the ground ain’t easy.”

"Ah… I've never tried. I guess the whole magic and strength buff thing is working then, huh?"

Snorting in disbelief, Deed can't help but agree. "Like you can't believe, colt. It's been a few summers since I worked on a farm. It should have been way harder than that."

"More than a few, honey. You've been so busy trying to build your business that it's been at least six years," Vines points out.

Thinking for a moment, Deed nods before continuing. "Yeah, I suppose so." Looking back to his son he explains, "That just makes the fact I could do it so quick that much more surprising. Just how much muscle did you add on yesterday, son? I don't feel like I look that different."

Title coughs lightly and answers, "You're noticeably trimmer on your sides, and I saw a lot more… bulk in your legs and chest when you were pulling that plow. It… was kinda hot to watch."

"Mmm I noticed that too," Vines adds, looking over her husband appreciatively.

Unable to fully hide his smile, Deed tries his best to scowl at Cure. Cure, completely aware that his sire isn't actually mad, simply smirks back with a raised eyebrow.

"Gah! I can't even pretend to be mad. Be honest, son. How much stronger do you think we are?"

"Compared to four days ago?" Getting nods back here continues, "The actual amount of muscle I've added onto you is probably only a few percent more than you had before. I'm certain that the bulk of the difference in your strength now compared to years ago is from actively channeling your magic all of the time."

"And the lustful eyes from your moms?"

With a scoff Cure answers, "Three or four percent more muscle and five to seven percent less fat, dad. If you were at twenty percent fat to mass before then you're probably closer to eighteen now. Those small percentages add up. We’ve seen how my ability works largely on intent. Well maybe it’s kind of "showing the way" for your magic to follow."

Title jumps in to clarify, "Wait, so you think our magic is following your changes' guidance? That doesn't make sense at all!"

"Ehhh maybe? Think about it like this, my mark makes my magic act as if it's the best at altering biology… it "flavors" my magic towards that bent. Earth pony magic is all about physical prowess and strengthening, so for it to follow my magic’s lead makes sense. I bet a unicorn or a pegasus wouldn’t get the same result."

Nodding slowly, Title urges him to continue.

"So the way I can imagine it working is my magic comes in, interfaces with yours which you're actively cycling, and says, "Here's the blueprint and here's the first few steps, just keep doing that." And even when I disconnect, your magic can still follow along, if for no other reason than because if we're both pushing our magic towards the same results then we'll still be headed the same direction."

"That can't possibly be right, can it?" Deed asks.

"I have no idea. I'm just postulating based on the fact that I, myself, cannot possibly have directly done all of this. It's just like what happened with Amethyst though, even if she wasn't cycling magic. It's the only thing that makes sense. I mean, technically we're all using a tiny bit of magic all the time; maybe the little push I gave it was enough."

“Maybe it’s just working like that because you already want your magic to make you healthier or stronger or whatever. Maybe my magic is barely making a difference and it’s actually yours doing all the work. That doesn’t really explain Amethyst’s recovery, unless I struck a significant enough blow against the virus that hers could knock it out from there.”

“Actually… Considering I didn’t actively do anything to help Amethyst get over the symptoms, but only specifically targeted the virus itself then that would be the logical assumption. Unless my magic acted on its own will or my subconscious desire, which I’m not completely willing to discount, there’s no other reason I can think of that could explain her symptoms being gone so quickly.”

Mulling it over, Cure considers the comparison between the effects of his mark to a computer virus. A beneficial one, granted, but the propagation is reminiscent despite the likely lack of permanence. Hopefully.

There’s no way I’m going to have the “Swol” version of Thinner going on here. Eff that. I’ll have to check on dad again and keep an eye on everypony to make sure it’s not some runaway effect.

Speaking of Amethyst, though, she asked that one question before we started. Man that’s been stickin in my brain ever since. How do marks work?

Pondering the mystery for a moment, something clicked in the back of Cure’s mind.

Wait, wasn’t there a Star Trek episode where everyone starts aging really fast because of an overly aggressive immune system? But… I didn’t change her immune system at all. I just… oh shit… I made new magically-created white blood cells while thinking about eradicating a viral infection.

"Has anypony checked on Amethyst since we came home on Thursday?” Suddenly concerned, he starts getting up to run out the door. “I probably should have followed up yesterday…"

Before he even jumps down, Title waves him to sit. "We bumped into her, Lemon, and the fillies when we were leaving work yesterday. She's doing great. Lemon wants you to drop by the store with a special somepony soon so she can reward you." Title explains, eyebrows wagging at the end.

Oblivious to the implication and still somewhat lost in thought, Cure agrees easily. "Hrm. That's good. Maybe the girls and I can go there after our run today." Sitting back down he lets out a relieved sigh. Note to self: Nothing airborne EVER. Add that to the “include” list on all the things, mysterious magical force. Never let anything I make be able to survive outside the body.

Smiling brightly, Vines wiggles a little in her chair before speaking up. “Back to your question about what crops are okay right now, we could do spinach and lettuce. Those will grow before the cold hits. Also, plants like beets, turnips, brussel sprouts… mostly ground level stuff. You get the idea,” she finishes rolling her hoof in a “and so on” motion.

“Okay, well maybe we should do that tomorrow. We can work together and all contribute and have them growing in well under half the time. When’s the next time you’re planning on going to the market? Also, do we need to like… stock up the pantry for winter?”

“Only if you want fresh fruits, honey. We can grow all of those plants all winter long. They’re hardy greens, so no need to worry about that. The store will still have some fruits from the south in the winter along with all the normal stuff. The market is normally every Sunday, but the weather team messed up so it was on Monday this week.”

“Okay… I just don’t really remember what I ate over the last few winters, ya know? I was just like, “Hey! Food! Nomnom” and never paid attention. I do remember eating a bunch of greens though.”

“Jeez, Cure, I know you complained about a lack of progress, but it’s not like there’s ponies starving in the streets or anything.”

“I know, I know. It’s weird meshing like forty some odd years of one set of memories with like four and a half of another set. It’s confusing at times, okay? Hunger was a real legitimate problem for humans even in my day. Mainly due to poverty, but in some parts of the world also due to other issues like logistics and crop failures.”

“It’s okay, Cure. Like we keep sayin, we’re all here for ya.”

“I know, mom.”

Quietly eating for a few minutes, Cure looks up at his father before he remembers something from the day prior.

“Dad?”

“Hm?”

“I thought it was storming tonight. You’re gonna go out in that?”

“Sure, why not?”

“Umm… it’s a storm?”

“So? A little rain won’t hurt me. I can be home from the bar in a few minutes.”

Looking to Vines and Title for help, Cure is surprised that they’re utterly unconcerned. “I think this is a pony thing. You’ve never let me outside in a storm before. My human memories agree that a child shouldn’t be because of wind, rain, and lightning, but also say an adult shouldn’t either. Is there something I’m missing here?”

Deed looks confused for a moment before asking, “Why would there be lightning anywhere near town?”

“Umm… because there’s a storm? Storms have lightning?”

“Cure, sweetie,” Vines begins, “the weather team will only use agency approved storms over a populated area like this. You’ve said humans have no magic, so I’m guessing the storms that hit towns have a bunch of lightning?”

“Oh. Yeah, a few people die from it every year. Not many, but that’s because most people won’t be outside when there’s a thunderstorm coming.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a pony being killed by natural lightning, Cure.” Title stops to think for a moment. “It flat out wouldn’t do anything to a pegasus. Unicorns can shield themselves, and often do put one up against rain, albeit a weak one. We can just shrug off a normal lightning strike.”

“You mean… a lightning strike wouldn’t hurt an earth pony at all?”

“Not really, no. Even without your fancy magic tricks we’re pretty hardy. Lightning just cycles around us and discharges into the ground, typically. Pegasi can charge it as a weapon, though, so it can be dangerous with a pegasus specifically trying. The noise can hurt a bit though.”

“Ah… so it’s a magic thing. Either our ambient magic or our TK field ground the charge out but pegasi can … I guess “imbue” would be the right word. They can imbue the cloud with their own energy to counter or bypass that shield? Huh. Neat.”

“Yeah, it can do some serious damage.”

“How in the world did earth ponies before unification deal with a foe that has full air superiority and… like… infinitely more mobility?”

“Probably by starving them to the point they couldn’t fly, then beating them to death. Or nets,” Deed suggested. “That’s all ancient history that was mostly lost during the Age of Chaos, but those are my guesses. Or they paid off unicorns with food. Who knows, maybe they played the other two tribes against each other.”

“Yeah… I guess that’s true. That librarian unicorn, Binder… dunno his full name, probably Book Binder given how y’all name foals, but he said something about a history book on the subject. Maybe I’ll check that out next time I’m at the library. I’m assuming that’s how an earth pony would deal with a griffon? Nets?”

“Oh yeah. You get a net on a griffon and they get all tangled up right quick. They’re not as fast maneuvering as a pegasus, so they’re easier to hit in the air. They are a little stronger than pegasus on the ground, though… but most would only carry light blades or rely on their claws, so…”

“Out range them with thrown weapons and spears?”

“You got it, sport. That’s what grandpa used to tell us, at least. Dragons are a whole different story, from what he said. Especially the bigger ones.”

“I bet. Well, once again, we got way off subject. I was going to ask if you’ll be alright in the rain and wind, but I bet you can mitigate a lot of that with your TK field now that you know about it.”

“Huh… I was gonna take a hat to keep the rain outta my eyes. I’ll hafta practice that TK thing before I go out.”

“Dam bought us some nice round rocks. I’d say go outside and try it, but you may want to do it inside unless you want the neighbors seeing you.”

“Good thinkin, champ.”

“Yeah, try to hover the rocks just slightly off of your skin, that way a casual observer won’t notice you’re staying dry. Also, keep in mind that air is a thing. You’re touching it too, you just have to mentally grab it.”

“Oh! Show me!” Title shouts.

“Okay, well, I haven’t tried, but let’s see…” Setting his utensils on the table, Cure holds his hooves up in front of him so they’re pointed together. Imagining a suction cup shape on the end of each hoof, he solidifies the TK field as much as he can and presses together. As he presses harder and harder, he can feel the pressure inside of the now enclosed circle increase. Rather than trying to “pop the balloon” he simply increases the pressure a small amount, then dissipates the TK field.

From his parents’ perspective, he hasn’t really done anything, just put his hooves together while lining them up. Then, suddenly, there’s a small “whoosh” sound and a little rush of air from in front of him. Blinking a couple times, Cure mutters “That was dumb. Right in the frickin eyes."

“Oooh! So neat. I swear, Cure, the fun ideas you have. Wait, does that work on dirt too?”

“Why wouldn’t it? Huh, I guess I should have thought about that before you all went out in the garden.”

“Ya think?” she asks with a scowl.

“Well… I bet you could eventually get good enough with your TK field to push dirt and stuff right out of your coat. I dunno, though. It could pull the hair if it’s like caked-in mud or something. It’ll take some testing, just like every other thing.”

“Hey, son, why did I feel that it got a tiny bit warmer for a second before you let it go?”

“Oh? You picked that up huh?” At Deed’s nod, Cure explains, “Well you know what heat is now. As I pushed the air particles together they bumped up and ran into each other a bit, being all squeezed together and whatnot. It should have been a tiny difference, though.”

“Huh… that’s kinda neat, son. So couldn’t we kinda squeeze air against us to keep warm when it’s cold or windy out too?”

“Umm. I dunno, probably. If nothing else you could likely arrest the air current somewhat so the wind isn’t actively removing heat as quickly. You know, mitigate the wind chill factor to a degree. Just be careful you’re not trapping a solid bubble of air around you.”

Giggling, Title points at Deed while saying “HA! I could see your sire making himself pass out like that.”

“Exactly my thoughts. I dunno if you could do it, but at least let some air flow through around your nose and mouth. Or yer rear unless you really wanna be breathin yer own farts.”

Deed and Title both start cackling at the thought. “Fart in a bubble! HA!” she shouts while banging on the table.

“Cure! That’s disgusting! Why can’t we ever have a normal meal?”

“Oh come on, dam. That’ll be my bargaining chip if I’m ever hauled in front of a noble. I’m sure they would love to have an ability like that. They’re so in love with themselves they’d probably consider breathing their own fart a privilege instead of having to share it with the rest of the room.”

Bent over laughing, Title pounds the table choking out “fart sniffers!” between guffaws. Deed isn’t much better, leaning away from Vines and doing his best to not laugh too loudly.

“Children. Nothing but children, I swear!” Vines shouts, even though she’s barely holding back a laugh too.

“Stop holdin back, dam. We all know you’re just as crazy as the rest of us. Join in the madness!”

With an aggrieved sigh, Vines rolls her eyes and finishes her lunch, faux complaining about her crazy, childish family the whole way to the sink.

Cure explains the, in his opinion, greatest potential use of the TK field, “Of course you could always hold that bubble shut to deploy the stink bomb at a strategic time. Yanno, blast out a real cheek-flapper, hold it in a bubble, wait until you pass by somepony you don’t like, and just let it go. Silent But Deadly on demand. You’d be like a fart assassin. Gassassin? Meh, needs work.”

Neither parent can hold back at that suggestion. Deed and Title are both hunched over the table cackling and Cure swears he hears a snort-laugh come from the kitchen too.

After a few minutes everypony finally gets themselves under control. Cure looks out the window and figures it’s probably time for him to go meet the girls.

“Well, I don’t know about you both. I’m sure you're very tired from the garden,” paying no mind to the two stuck out tongues, “what with all the hard work you didn’t do, you’re welcome very much by the way, but I have a meeting I need to get to. Important business and whatnot.”

Jumping down from his spot, Cure takes his setting into the kitchen and does his TK escalator bit while giggling to deposit everything on the counter for an amused Vines. Giving her a quick nuzzle and a “love ya, dam, see ya later” he darts off to take care of the “predeparture necessities” then washes up and heads back to the table.

Now ready to go, Cure walks up and gives his sire a big hug and a nuzzle, “Dad, if you’re gone before I get back please be careful. I know you said storms are harmless, but the ‘ol ape brain still doesn’t like ya bein out in one. Love you.”

Deed returns the hug, and with a dismissive hoof wave says, “Eh, don’t worry sport. What could possibly go wrong? I’ll be fine. See ya when I get home!”

Jumping back, Cure shouts over his dad yelling, “Oh my god, dad, stop talking! What the heck, man? How about you start talking about retiring next week while you’re at it? How many death flags can you throw in a five second span, dude?”

“Death flags?” Deed asks.

“From books, honey,” Title starts, “whenever someone says stuff like what you just said it means they’re about to go die. The retirement one’s new for me though.” Looking to Cure she asks, “Got any others?”

“Umm… oh! In human culture we give a ring to a girl to propose, so anytime somebody showed their buddy a ring and talked about the girl of their dreams they were a total goner. Or their baby that’s on the way.” Angrily waving his hooves at the heavens he shouts, “GOOSE! HANG IN THERE MAN! YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!”

Snickering, Title gives her example. “Oh I’ve seen that in romance novels where the soldier talks about his or her special somepony!”

“Oh yeah, or the soldier’s all like “I’ll buy you time!” or “I’ll hold em off!” and tells everypony else to make their escape. They’re toast,” Cure nods in agreement.

Deed is just shaking his head looking between the two.

“Or if the character is a total jerk to the protagonist or likes the same pony!”

“There’s also the one where the soldier has that unbreakable shield or something like that.” With a patronizing tone he slowly nods while saying, “It’ll totally work out, invincible shield soldier pony! I’m sure you, of all ponies, will be fine!”

“Didn’t you need to go?” Deed asks while scowling.

Pointing a hoof at him, Cure nods in satisfaction. “Perfect! Don’t say another word! Nopony can die after some random, harmless sentence like that.”

Heading towards the door, Cure calls over his withers, “I’ll always remember you, dad! Don’t worry, I’ll take care of dam and mom! We’ll all live forever and be super rich and they’ll probably remarry really quickly to a more attractive stallion that I'll call dad from then on, so we’ll be fine!”

“You’re not funny!” Deed yells.

“Just make sure your head survives! I can probably build you a new body if I get to you fast enough. It may not be the same color, though. It depends on how creative I get with “resources” after all!” Cure yells while shutting the door and trotting off.

“Can…uhh can he do that? For real?” Deed warily asks.

“Umm… I don’t know? Maybe? It would depend, like he said, on how fast he got to you. If your brain has blood flowing with oxygen and nutrients in it, then yes, probably.”

“That is kind of horrifying. Amazing, but horrifying. I better never wake up on somepony else’s body though. I will be very unhappy.”

“Rather attached to the one you got?” she asks with a smile.

“That was terrible.”

“Okay. How bout this,” In a silly voice she says, “You’re unhappy? Think about how the other pony felt!” Wagging her eyebrows she asks, “There! Was that better?”

With a full-on grimace, Deed’s whole body shudders. “Not really, and No… I’d really rather not, thank you.”

“Subject change?” she asks.

He nods back. “Subject change.”

Both ponies finish their last few bites and look around awkwardly.

“I got nothin,” Deed complains.

“Yeah, me neither,” Title says, nodding. “Well, just in case this is your last few minutes alive,” she starts with a smile to his scowl, then she huskily asks “I don’t suppose you’ve still got enough energy for another round of plowin?”

“That was just as bad as the last one, but yes.” Turning towards the kitchen he yells, “Vines, time to get Spreadin! We’re colt-free!”

“Oh thank the stars!” she yells from the kitchen, running straight up the stairs.

“Yeesh, somepony’s needy,” Title observes.

“Yeah. Think she’s too close to estrus to be safe?”

“I say you just let it happen if it does. Were you wanting Cure to flip yer balls over to the “Colt Only” setting first, though?”

“Eh, we talked about it in bed this morning. I think we’ll be happy either way. Celestia only knows what another colt could be like. Sun and stars, can you imagine that,” he points towards the door, “only evil?” Considering, he amends “Well, evil-er?”

“No, but I’ve never heard of anything like this either, so what are the odds it could happen again?”

“Didn’t you just warn me about flags? That sounded a lot like a flag.”

She looks at him aghast, covering her mouth with a hoof. “It kinda felt like a flag, didn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Letting out a sigh, Deed looks to the stairs, “Well, let’s not leave our wife waiting. Shall we?”

Waving, she says, “You go first, I wanna enjoy the view.”

“Oh you’ll be enjoyin it alright, just from the opposite angle. Now c’mon.”

Author's Note

Apparently I am the moron on the weather team that got the day wrong. Whoops!