The Pony Show Friendship Is Screwed Up

by mariomario4156

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Rarity, Adventure, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Violence
Length: 4016

This was The Pilot episdoe script to my pony parody show.

This was The Pilot episode script to my pony parody show.

The scrip was written by Myself

Co written By Dark Claw

Edited by Cassidy Wemyss

Published 2022-09-13 03:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-09-13 03:40:01 UTC

Piolt episode: The Zombie Nation

The Pony Show Friendship is screwed up episode 1 The Zombie Nation

Written by : Mariomario4156

Script Editor / Co-writer Dark claw

Script Editor : Cassidy Wemyss

SCENE 1

The song I got you, babe, starts playing on dashies alarm clock.

Dash “Oh god no not again no!”

Then dash checks the time and it’s 9:30 AM

Dash “Oh thanks, Celestia.”

Dash gets ready and goes out to see her friends.

SCENE 2

Dash arrives at Twilight's house and comes in. Twilight’s drinking again, Pinkie Pie is doing surgery on a pony Surgery on another pony, Fluttershy is reading an evil book, and rarity and Applejack is talking.

Dash “Hey guys… Guys GUYS!”

Everyone looks at Dash.

Dash “So Twilight what’s going on here?”

Twilight “Oh Dash you know it is just another Saturday for us.”

Dash has an annoyed look on her face.

Twilight “Anyways I got us tickets to the grand galloping gala and we’re going tonight!”

Dash “Whoa wait what how did you get tickets to the bloody gala?”

Twilight “Oh rarity gave them to me.”

Rarity “It was the only thing I could do. I wanted to give you a gift for after the wedding.”

Twilight “What wedding?”

Rarity “Well your wedding sweetheart how could you forget your own wedding?”

Twilight “Wait what, I never had a wedding.”

Rarity “Sure you did! you married your brother.”

Twilight “MY BROTHER!!!!”

Rarity “Yeah your brother what’s wrong Twilight? You're not looking too good.”

Twilight pukes on the floor

Twilight “What the fudge rarity I never married my brother! my brother married Chrysalis Oh fudge I mean Cadence.”

Rarity “Oh your brother married that shady bi-BEEP.”

Dash “Whoa Rarity language.”

Twilight & Rarity “Shut up Dash!”

Dash (quietly) “Sorry.”

Twilight ”Rarity look…..one that was extremely inappropriate and two well just shut up and just well look... My brother can marry whoever he wants to marry even if you don't like it so why don't we all chill the freak out and go to the f-beeping party, ok?”

Rarity ”I’m sorry Twilight and yes let’s do it.”

Intro plays or it just cuts over to the next scene.

SCENE 3

Dash and her friend pull up in Dash’s car and they run over Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon; they get out of the car.

Dash “I think I hit something, did I hit something?”

Twilight “I don't think so hey Apple Bloom did we hit something?”

Apple Bloom shakes her head.

Twilight “Well ok then we’re good let’s go.”

They leave and Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo smile.

The scene cuts and they are all at Canterlot now just about to enter the castle.

Dash “Hey Twilight?”

Twilight “Yeah Dash?”

Dash “Why do all of our friends look kind of off, not that that’s a bad thing but why?”

Twilight “Ok you ready to hear this Dash ok well I don't care ok here we go rarity fell in a bucket of acid, Applejack electrocuted herself with her fridge, Fluttershy found this weird club thing or whatever anyways she’s kind of evil now kind of not really I hope, and Pinkie well Pinkie kind of always been like this but since she got out of jail she was good but then something happened and now she crazy again I think Fluttershy had something to do with it. Anyways that’s it.”

Dash “Ok umm thanks Twilight for the info drop uhhhh.”

Twilight ”Hey no problem dash that’s what I’m here for.”

SCENE 4

They all walk inside

Twilight “Ok girls now stick together we don’t want to get lost.”

Everypony have run off by the time Twilight finishes talking

Twilight “Ok then.”

Dash “Holy crap Twilight Pinkie’s flipping killing a pony!!”

The camera turns to see Pinkie killing a random pony.

Twilight “Oh that’s just Pinkie Pie.”

A laugh track plays as it shows Pinkie’s funny face and there text saying “That’s just Pinkie Pie” at the bottom of the screen.

Dash “Ok what the fudge is wrong with you guys! Seriously.”

The scene cuts to all of them looking at the band playing a song. Rarity gets a text from Luna that says “Hey sexy are you ready to make out come to the bathroom now because I only have limited time so HURRY UP!!!!!”

Rarity “Uhhh guys I got to go to the uhhhhh the bathroom yeah I’ll be back after that ok bye.” Rarity runs off.

Twilight “What do you think she's up to?”

Pinkie “Maybe she is going to summon lord kathalu the destroyer of worlds.”

Pinkie *laughs for a bit*

Pinkie “Yes.”

Dash (in her head)“I think Pinkie has a mental disorder or something.”

Twilight “Ok well Dash what do you think?”

Dash “I think she is going pee or maybe going poop or maybe... Yeah I have no idea sorry guys.”

Twilight “Ok well that's ok Dash…… But I do wonder where are the princesses? They should be here by now.”

(CUTAWAY)

The scene cuts to Celestia trying to find Luna up stars.

Celestia “Luna where are you sister we have to be on by now come on why are you hiding from me?”

Celestia hears some noise in the bathroom and she goes in and she sees Luna and Rarity making out then Luna looks up and her eyes go small.

Luna “Sister uhhh I can explain.”

Celestia “No Luna I think you have explained enough.”

Luna “Nooo sister please don’t send me to the moon again please.”

Celestia “Oh no Luna I’m not going to banish you to the moon again.” *laughs* “I’m going to kill you literally kill you.”

Celestia horn glows and Luna is pleading to Celestia but she's not listening and she blows up, blood is everywhere and rarity screams.

(CUTAWAY END)

Twilight “Did you guys hear something?”

Dash “Uhh no.”

Pinkie “Well the only I hear are my thoughts inside my head and they don’t like being kept in there.”

Pinkie smiles; Dash looks concerned.

Rarity comes down and stands next to Twilight.

Twilight “Hey why are you covered in blood.”

Rarity “Not another word.”

Twilight “Ok then geez.”

Celestia comes on stage

Celestia “Hello Ponyville!”

Pony 1 “Where's Luna?”

Pony 2 “Yeah where Luna she is my favorite princess!”

Derpy “Where the bloody hell is Luna?!”

Celestia looks around

Celestia “Uhhhhh I got to go to the bathroom.”

Celestia runs off stage

Twilight “Where do you think she is going?”

Applejack “Maybe to write a poem.”

The main 5 just look at Applejack with confused looks on their faces

Applejack “What she could be you know I always wonder what she does in her free time, probably something so magical and so peaceful that we can’t even imagine what it is.”

(CUTAWAY)

Spooky music plays in the background

Celestia has an evil book; she throws Luna’s corpse on the floor

Celestia (in reverse) "Backwards message."

Thunder strikes and a zombie’s hand pops out of the ground

(CUTAWAY ENDS)

Back at the party the lights flicker on and off

Pinkie “Oooo I can sing a song now since the band isn't playing.”

Rarity “Please don't.”

Pinkie goes on stage and starts to sing a parody of ELO telephone line

The voice actor can sing this song if he or she wants to if they don’t that’s totally cool with me.

Anyways so Pinkie sings that song and while she’s singing there are zombies coming in and eating ponies.t cuts back to the mane 5 dancing while Pinkie's singing and they don't see the carnage behind them.

Eerie music plays leading up to the revlie of the zombie pony

Rainbow Dash sees a pony in the dark and she goes to see if it’s ok; she touches the pony and it’s a zombie

Dash *screams*

Dash “Holy crap oh my gosh there’s there’s.”

Applejack “There’s what sugar cube.”

Dash “There zombies!!!!!”

Twilight “Yeah right... h holy crap yeah there are.”

There are zombies and monsters around everywhere; Dash grabs Pinkie from the stage

Pinkie “Hey I was singing there.”

Dash “Yeah I know Pinkie but we have to get out of here……”

Twilight “Hey Dash.”

Dash “Yeah?”

Twilight “Are we going to be ok?”

Dash “We are screwed.”

The song Give Me Love (Give Me Peace On Earth) by George Harrison starts to play as the camera zooms out to see ponies getting eaten by zombies and monsters; some ponies are on fire and running; some ponies get thrown into a monster mouth and then the scene cuts to black

SCENE 5

Wacky spooky music plays

The scene comes back and the mane 6 are freaking out

Dash “Ok guys it’s ok we can figure this out we just have to umm.”

Fluttershy “Why don't we just blow their heads off like in pulp fiction?”

Dash “Ok what?!?”

Twilight “No Fluttershy see that was a movie this is real life this right here is real that was a movie do you get it?”

Fluttershy “Yeah I get it but what if I get some of my friends to defeat--”

Twilight “Oh hell no we are not getting your friends in your weird club to summon a demon to defeat the zombies.”

Fluttershy “Why?”

Twilight “Why well it's because if you summon a demon then it will kill the zombies but it will also kill insane pony who is just doing I don't know whatever ponies these days do you see what’s wrong with that.”

Fluttershy “Yeah………..yeah……….I I get it……….I don't know anymore..”

Twilight “Good now What if we go in your car Dash and then we can drive to my house is that ok.”

Dash “Oh Yeah that’s cool let’s do that come on guys oh I mean girls, gals, Pony? Oh, screw it lets just go.”

They all get in Dash's car well except for Rarity and Applejack

Rarity “I drove her so I don't need a car I got my own.”

Dash “Rarity you sure you can just ride with us?”

Rarity “Yeah sure dash I’m fine you go I'll catch up.”

Dash “Ok well bye good luck.”

Dash drives off

Rarity finds her key and she clicks it, there's no noise; she tries looking for her car and she sees where it was parked but there’s no car there

Rarity “Oh great somepony stole my car just perfect hey Applejack you got a phone? I left my keys in the car.”

Applejack “No I’m amish Rarity I don't have a phone but I do have this one cheese sandwich cassette with and Amish Paradise and I listen to it all the time.”

Rarity “Well how do you listen to it if you don't have electricity.”

Applejack “Uh duh I have a walkman.”

Rarity “Yeah and you say your Amish and you have a walkman yeah that makes total senses.”

Applejack “Well thanks Rarity that so kind of you.”

Rarity “What wait" *groan* "Well you got any cards.”

Applejack “Yeah I got that game on my Apple Newton.”

Rarity “WHY DO YOU HAVE A Apple Newton WHEN YOU ARE AMISH!”

Applejack “Because I do so HA.”

Rarity looks at Applejack then sits in defeat

Rarity “I wonder how Dash and Twilight and the others are doing.”

SCENE 6

Cut back to Twilight and the gang and Dash is driving

Twilight “Dash we been driving for 30 minutes do you even know where are you going?”

Dash “Yeah well kind of I usually fly here or I take the train but I can figure it out.”

Twilight “You sure I can--”

Dash “Twilight I got this.”

Twilight “Ok then you’re the boss.”

Dash “You want to listen to some music?”

Twilight “Sure.”

Dash turns on the radio and it plays Help! By The Beatle Brony

Dash looks at Twilight

Dash “You think will be alright Twilight?”

Twilight “I don't know Dash.”

Dash nods

A montage starts with Dash car driving in different areas

SCENE 7

They all arrive at Twilight's house and go inside

Dash “Ok guys so what do we do?”

Twilight “What?!?!?...... I’m sorry what I thought you knew what to do you said we go to my house and we…...we……...oh god I…….I did you say that or did I or what wha-........... You know what I was wrong and I don’t have a plan dose well I got to think of a plan first that would you know take me a while so give me a minute.”

Dash “Ok so Twilight is out of the question for now I guess…..Anyone else has a plan.”

Pinkie “Well what if we just--”

Dash “Pinkie I sear to Celestia if you flipping say burn all the zombie ponies I will be so pissed off that I--”

Twilight “Dash shut up just shut up ok.”

Dash “What but--”

Twilight “No no just shut up for now let hmmmmmm……….Man, it would be better if we had Applejack and rarity here that would have some useful advice right about now.”

(CUTAWAY)

We cut back to Applejack and rarity playing go fish with random cans and bottles since they don’t have cards

Rarity “Do you have the can of soda?”

Applejack “Nope go again Rarity.”

Rarity “Ahh man but last time I cut a figure on it and I…...I mean I didn’t feel anything but then I felt kind of drunk from losing so much blood and I almost passed out and--”

Applejack “Ok surgery soup you don't have to tell me your life story here let's just play again.”

Rarity “Whhha oh never mind I wonder if Dash is going to pick us up on maybe be…….Oh no, she could have forgotten about us……….OH nooo!”

Applejack “Girl don't talk smack she probably like right around your broke ass…………..ahhh sorry Rarity I had no idea what just happened anyways I meant to say don't worry about they probably didn't forget us…….right.”

Rarity shrugs

Applejack “Uh rarity there’s a zombie bite your arm.”

Rarity looks and there is a zombie biting her arm

Rarity “So there is darling so there is.”

Rarity punches it off like it was nothing

Applejack “Are you ok Rarity?”

Rarity “Yeah I’m fine.”

Applejack “I wonder however else is doing?”

Rarity “Who knows.”

The scene holds on Rarity and Applejack just starting off into space

(CUTAWAY END)

The scene cuts back to the gang just sitting on the floor

Dash “I feel like we forgot something also Twilight stop drinking.”

Twilight “Noooo!!!! I drink all the time and I’m freaking out so please just give me this" (Twilight starts to get really drunk so make her sound really drunk) "ohh and dash I have no clue……..what you talking about.”

Dash “Ohh boy.”

Pinkie “Talk about eye candy.”

Dash “What is that supposed to mean?”

Pinkie “Oh it's just a pun I made up I guess or it may be a reference to an alternate universe who knows the sky’s the limit!”

Dash “What?”

Twilight “Guys we…….need……..to…...be…" *burp* "......serieus…..Also, I got an idea let's go and just shooo…..t the zombies away pew weeeee.”

Twilight falls on the floor

Dash “Well I guess that may work but we still need a plan for how we can do that.”

Pinkie “What if we get guns and weapons and then we go in the haunted forest and--”

Dash “Why would we do that pinkie? WHY?!?!.....”

Pinkie “Duh because silly the zombies and monster will be in there probably.”

Dash “Well its worth a shot I guess…… But where do we get the weapons?”

Pinkie “Oh I got that covered.”

Pinkie shakes her head and guns, swords, and an ax comes out of her mane

Pinkie "There and now my head feels better."

Dash “Wow ok that’s uh that’s pretty interesting.

Twilight gets up and pukes

Twilight “Works for me let's kill some zombies.”

Pinkie “But we need an epic weapons montages.”

Dash “A what.”

Pinkie (serious voice; every word zooms in on her face more) “A Freaking epic weapons montages.”

They turn on a radio to a song called making time by the creation

They get guns, knives and whatever weapons they have and then they get in the car; the song's still playing when they’re in the car

Dash “Wait weren't there six of us.”

Twilight “No I don’t oh sh-BEEP There was!”

Dash & Twilight “Rarity and Applejack!”

Rarity and Applejack are playing cards

Rarity “Uh Applejack where did you get these cards.”

Applejack “I found it in my butt.”

Rarity “Wait for what………… Anyways what do you think Twilight is doing.”

It cuts backs to Dash and Twilight freaking out in the car

Dash ”Oh god what do we do….....do you think Rarity and Applejack's ok.”

It cuts to Rarity and Applejack

Applejack “You ever think that our universe is in a giant apple.”

Rarity “Uh noooo……..”

Applejack “Yeah apples I love apples.”

Rarity “Yeaaaaaaah riiiiiiiight.”

It cuts backs to Dash and Twilight freaking out in the car again

Dash “Oh man do you think there ok oh man oh man.”

Twilight “Look what if we just go and pick up Rarity and Applejack at the party.”

Dash “That’s what I’m freaking doing!”

SCENE 8

It cuts back to rarity and Applejack

Applejack “You ever think that stars are apples.”

Rarity “Uhhh are you ok.”

Applejack “Yeah I’m fine.”

Rarity “Noo are you ok mentally.”

Applejack “Why wouldn't I be.”

Rarity “Because well I don't know anymore.”

The camera stays on Rarity and Applejack

Applejack “Dang that’s deep.”

Rarity “What?”

Applejack “You know whats else deep Apple cores.”

Rarity “What the fudge.”

Then all of the sudden Rainbow Dash crashes into a zombie right in front of Rarity and Applejack

Applejack “Holy frickaroney.”

Dash “Oh hey guys I just thought I drop in.”

The car alarm starts going off

Dash “Oh…..”

Dash “Ok we’ll get on the car.”

Rarity “Why can we just get in the car?”

Dash “Because of the weapons.”

Rarity “What weapon-.”

Dash “Just get in the darn car now!”

Rarity “Ok geez fine.”

The scene then cuts to Dash in the car driving and Twilight sitting next to her

Dash (in her head) “Ah man I wonder if we are going to make it out alive hopefully……”

Twilight (in her head) “I love beer so much I just love it so much oh man I love it so much.”

The camera then is on Pinkie and it zooms in her head where there’s a bunch of over Pinkies dancing and there dancing to Lemon Demon - Super Hey Ya and Pinkie memory are in the back round and its crazy

The camera then zooms out of Pinkie and she's having a seizure and it pans to Fluttershy

Fluttershy (in her head) “Oh man I hope Pinkie Pie's ok she looks like she having a seizure. I really hope she alright. Also, I should go and get some chicken after this.”

The camera goes to Applejack next

It zooms in on Applejack as she thinks of her in space floating and seeing apples as Across Equestria Plays in the background

The camera then goes to Rarity

Rarity (in her head) “What is Applejack thinking probably something about apples, I think she has some mental problems and so does Pinkie.”

The camera then goes back to the front of the car and we can see all of the characters and on the radio, the song Remind Me by Royksopp is playing on the radio

Twilight looks at Dash

Twilight “Hey Dash" *burp* "DOoooo you remember that time where you and Pinkie bout that weegie board to my house to scare Spike but then you summoned an evil spirit that possessed me and then I was all scary and evil and stuuuuuuf like" *burp* "That.”

Twilight’s beer bottle is touching Dash's leg

Dash “Yeah……………. Yeah, I remember that.”

Twilight “Yeah Ha Ha good times.”

Dash “Ha ha……...yeah………”

Dash’s eyes go down as she feels sorry for doing that to her poor friend

Dash (in her head) “I need to be a better friend.”

The camera keeps on Dash's face as she blinks and then the screen cuts to the next scene

SCENE 9

They pull up to the woods; it’s now daytime; they all get out of the car

Dash “So now what do we do?”

Fluttershy “Maybe we should I don't know actually go into the woods and find the monsters. But hey that’s just a suggestion.”

Dash “Well ok then lets uh do that…..”

Pinkie “Man flutter shy that was brutal!”

Fluttershy “Oh was it I’m so sorry Dash.”

Dash “Hey Flutter shy it's fine I’m ok I can take it.”

Twilight (badass)“Ok guuuuuuys we should go into the forest now and kill some freaking zombies and monsters.”

Dash “Ok then I mean I was waiting for you guys but uh let's go now.”

Fluttershy “But wait where do we look?”

Dash “Well I guess we can look um.”

Pinkie “Hey guys there over there having tea!”

Applejack “What wait.”

Fluttershy “Oh sweet.”

Dash “Well that's convenient.”

They head to where all the zombies and monsters are

They sneak up behind a tree

Twilight “Ok well now we need a plan on how we go in.”

Dash “Oh screw it I’m going in.”

Twilight “Wait for dash noooo…… And she’s gone.”

Dash goes into the zombies and monster tea party

Dash “Oh sorry to interrupt but we are here to kick some ass.”

Dash imminently gets knocked back but the monster

Dash “Yeah guys I don't know that worked ow.”

Twilight “You think.”

Then all of a sudden zombies and monsters surround them all

Dash “Oh crap.”

Twilight “See this is why I said to stop and not go out and fight but noooooo you just bloody had to! What the" *beep* "Dash I mean really you should be smarter than that in fact I know you're smarter than that.
Look dash all I'm saying is look before you leap ok.”

Dash “Ok Twilight I get it but what do we do now?”

Twilight “I don't know dash.”

The song Home we’re finally landing starts to play as the camera starts to circle the mane 6 looking at the really scary monsters and zombies

Dash “Fudge we are so screwed.”

Fluttershy “No we can do it dash.”

Pinkie “Yeah Dash we can do it Dash we can do anything.”

Twilight “Look Dash I’m usually the one whos always drunk and you know who helps me when I am drunk…..you always help me we can do this.”

Dash “Ok let's do this then Thanks guys.”

The song we can work it out starts to play in the background. And they all get their weapons ready and then they all start to fight

Twilight shoots some zombies, while Pinkie stabs some monsters

Fluttershy throws a grenade

Fluttershy “Hey Dash lookout.”

Dash “Wait for wha-.”

The grenade explodes; Dash is on the ground as the life is a very short part of the song is playing and the song is going in and out and then dash sees her friends fighting and how awesome they fight

Dash gets up

Dash “My friends are freakin awesome!”

Dash starts to fight and shoot zombies and monsters with her guns; a fight montage goes on

They fight for a bit and then their neighbor Phil shows up

Phil “Hey guys can I have my milk?”

Twilight “Uhhh Phil we are a bit busy now.”

Phil “Yeah I know but can I please have my milk you said you would give it to me yesterday.”

Twilight “Fine Phil here.”

She grabs some milk and gives it to Phil

Phil “Yay.”

Phil runs off

They finish the fight a bit later

Dash looks around

Dash “Well we did it, guys.”

Pinkie & Fluttershy & Applejack & Rarity & Twilight “Yay!”

Twilight “Now who wants to go and get a drunk?!”

Dash “Well I wouldn't mind going to the bar for some drinks.”

Pinkie & Fluttershy & Applejack & Rarity & Twilight *laughs*

Dash “What what did I say?”

The episode ends and credits roll