M.A.D.

by Some Leech

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Sex, Queen Chrysalis, Random
Length: 4070

The age-old conflict between Princess Celestia and Queen Chrysalis comes to a head...

Celestia and Chrysalis, two of the most powerful mares in all of Equestria, have waged a surreptitious war against one another for millennia. Though many are aware of the invasion of Canterlot, their conflict has mostly been relegated to petty, almost foal-like pranks - that was until one of them went too far...

Artwork by Exxi00

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Published 2022-09-14 20:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2022-09-14 20:10:06 UTC

Matriarch Approved Derision

Perched on her throne, Chrysalis was a bastion of tranquility in the chaos surrounding her. Ornate stalactites fell from the ceiling, the floor periodically shook, and an ominous, periodic rumble grew nearer and nearer, yet she didn’t flee. Even if she’d wanted to, there was no escaping the force which had come to meet her.

In hindsight, though she’d known her pettiness could and likely would catch up with her, she wouldn’t have changed a thing about the disastrous circumstances. There was only so much ignominy she could endure, so she’d pushed back - she’d pushed back hard. Anyone else would have known when to throw in the towel, realizing that things were getting well out of hoof, but not her - never.

Being one of the few ageless creatures on the face of Equestria had its perks - then again, it came with a number of drawbacks as well. While it was true that her preternaturally long life and timeless beauty was a boon, she wasn’t the only being to have such blessings. There were other nigh immortal beings that walked the world, and one of them had been a thorn in her slender side for as long as she could remember.

To say the changelings and ponies didn’t get along was an understatement, but therein lay a problem. All out warfare would have been a death sentence for her kind and those insufferable pastel equines, so they’d reached an understanding of sorts. In lieu of sabotage and sneak attacks, forgoing assaults and sieges, she and her nemesis had shifted their focus to one another - more succinctly, when the mood struck, they did their darnedest to make one another miserable.

Several hundred years ago, in a fit of pique, she’d fired the first proverbial shot against her foe. During some childish festival, one where the ponies of Equestria celebrated the warmth of spring, the colorful, overly cheerful pegasi, earth ponies, and unicorns were shocked to discover that their precious and carefully painted holiday eggs had been covertly replaced with fertilized changeling ovum. The chaos which ensued her little surprise, with hundreds of families waking up to discover needy little grubs clamoring for attention, would have made Discord himself proud - unfortunately for her and her hives, retribution was swift and merciless.

Not six months following the egg fiasco, having all her progeny unceremoniously returned in a number of crates, her drones began to behave oddly; it was subtle at first, almost imperceptible, but it gradually took a toll. Guards were tardy for their duties, workers would leave projects half-finished, and raiding parties returned with little if any resources - in short, things started falling apart. It wasn’t until she’d cornered one of her meeker subjects, a pitiful little parasite named Thorax, that the nefarious plot had been unveiled.

A steady trickle of letters had been arriving to her innumerable family, but these weren’t just any letters - no, these were letters from secret admirers. She wasn’t sure what was worse, the fact that her offspring were stupid enough to believe anyone other than herself loved them or that they didn’t question that the affectionate correspondence had been marked from Canterlot, but she’d addressed the situation all the same. It had taken an utterly absurd amount of screeching and minor beatings to get her hives back into working order, but the dubiously clever disruption had confirmed her suspicions.

After she’d administered some harsh reeducation to her underlings, she’d barricaded herself in her chamber and ruminated for days on how to reap revenge against ponykind. Though it had taken her many sleepless nights, dozens of crumpled rolls of parchment, and a chair destroyed out of frustration, her time had been well spent. On one fateful evening, having informed her praetorians she’d be going out, she took a small excursion to Appleloosa to hatch her plot.

While she never said a word of what she’d done that evening, the ramifications spoke for themselves. Sensationalized articles and tabloids spread like wildfire, all with one thing in common - how Princess Celestia had gone on a hedonistic bender in the rural backwater town. She would have given practically anything to see the alicorn’s reaction to the baseless claims and scandalous accusations, but the fallout had been succulent enough to satiate her desires.

By disguising herself as the Princess, she’d singlehoofedly managed to sow no small amount of dissent amongst the Equestrian populace. How could their ruler, motherly and caring, possibly be capable of gambling, helping herself to excessive amounts of apple fritters, and shamelessly hitting on cowponies?! With that delightfully devilish deception, having thoroughly smeared Celestia’s otherwise pristine name, she’d accomplished two things: weeks worth of amusement for herself and unforeseen woes for her hive.

Days passed into months, while she awaited the inevitable retaliation - oddly enough, retaliation didn’t come, or so she’d initially thought. Out of the blue, wondering if her archenemy had thrown in the towel, a shipment of confections had arrived at her hive, followed by a second and a third, until the place was overflowing with freshly baked sweets of every kind. Cupcakes, muffins, scones, and cookies were delivered with fliers about some insipid Changeling Appreciation Day, further convincing her that Celestia wished to bring their squabble to an end - regrettably, that was far from the case.

Darned if she knew what the ponies had put in the treats, but her legions were swiftly stricken with the most nightmarish affliction she’d ever seen. Though the plumbing lines had been inundated, lamentations reverberated throughout her kingdom, and the smell was absolutely atrocious, she steeled her resolve from atop her throne. The gloves were off and she was not going to let the Princess get away with what came to be known as the great tummy upset.

And so the periodic exchanges between herself and Celestia had lasted for years on end. Some of the pranks were childish and harmless, others bordered on the catastrophic, yet neither she nor opponent relented - that was until she was stricken with inspiration. While it wasn’t common knowledge that the Princess had a bit of a sweet tooth, her spies had informed her that the beloved alicorn was prone to midnight snacks and gratuitous desserts - as such, she’d put her greatest scheme ever into play.

While she was one to openly brag about the enormity of her designs, warranted or not, she would freely admit that her most recent plot was her magnum opus, the pinnacle of all the dirty tricks she’d ever devised, and she’d been elated to hear about the results. She had personally selected the most skillful of all her agents to sneak into the Canterlot castle to enact her plan, impressing upon them that failure was not an option, and each of them had succeeded spectacularly. With everything in its place, all she had to do was impatiently wait for the prolific results.

“M…my Queen,” an armored praetorian bleated, shaking her from her thoughts, “we have to run! She’s unstoppable!”

Her lip curled, exposing a glimmering fang, as she glowered down upon the cowardly bug. “No, you cravenous waste of chitin, I’m staying. I wish to see the fruit of my labor…”

He wasted no time and bolted, rushing to and defenestrating himself through the nearest window, while the thunderous crashing got closer and closer. She should have known that at some point, sooner or later, her little dispute would culminate with a direct confrontation, yet she’d had no way to foresee it would come so soon or so suddenly. Surmising that her guest would be bursting through her door shortly, she unseated herself and expectantly waited.

Moments after stepping to the floor, the wall exploded next to her. The calamitous and wholly unrestrained display of power, while slightly impressive, only caused her to roll her eyes. Theatrics were all well and good, but the destruction her visitor had wrought would take days - possibly months to repair. Turning toward the plume of dust and raining debris, waving her hoof in front of her face, she noticed a golden glow radiating through the gloom.

“Finally come to pay me a visit?” she snickered, holding her ground. Even before the reports of whom had stormed her fortress had come to her, she’d readied herself to personally greet her imperious visitor. Giving the slightest, condescending bow, she beamed. “I’m honored.”

“Silence, you herradin,” an exquisitely angry, familiar voice called out.

Striding straight toward her, Celestia appeared from out of the devastation. Under ordinary circumstances, finding herself facing an incensed and exceedingly powerful alicorn would have given her a moment for pause, but the circumstances were far from ordinary. The Princess, though livid, wasn’t nearly as imposing as she would usually be.

Adorned in a lustrous shaffron, peytral, crinet, and crupper, war gear she hadn’t seen in ages, Celestia should have been a paragon of beauty and terror - fortunately, and much to her amusement, that was far from the case. The alicorn was about as intimidating as an overly-plump sausage stuffed into armor, because that’s effectively what she was.

Staring in open awe at the Princess, Chrysalis bit back a giggle. “I’m assuming the royal armorer didn’t have time to make adjustments before you stormed my keep?”

Celestia sneered and stomped a hoof, sending a crack snaking along the floor. “What did you do?”

“I did what you probably deduced I did, my sweet, porcine Princess,” the Queen clucked, savoring the pony’s barely kept rage.

With the dust settled, her eyes danced over the pony’s expansive figure. Once tall and svelte, the alicorn had gained a substantial amount of weight. Celestia’s toned thighs and rump had ballooned to nearly triple their normal size, her barrel had no small amount of pudge, and there was a decidedly amusing jiggle with her each and every move - heck, even her cheeks were chubby! Incapable of controlling herself, she tittered with unfettered delight.

“What did you put in those cookies?” Celestia demanded, inching closer.

“Oh it wasn’t just the cookies,” Chrysalis corrected. “Your stash of ice cream, the tarts you’re so fond of, your mid-morning scones - why I even took the liberty to taint the pies you keep hidden under your bed.”

“You sow,” the Princess fumed, unleashing a bolt of magic that the Matriarch was only narrowly able to deflect.

Undeterred, yet ready to take flight, the Queen defiantly smirked. “Bold choice of words, given your new look. You know I’ve always thought you could use a bit of extra heft, although I feel as though this may be a bit much.”

As if deigned by fate or possibly some unseen draconequus, a rivet on the alicorn’s armor popped and sailed across the room, panging off the far wall before clattering to the floor. The silence that followed was deafening - that was until the plate over Celestia’s neck slipped and clattered to her hooves. Bursting into laughter, Chrysalis fell to the ground and clutched her chest.

“This is not funny,” Celestia seethed, turning her attention from the fallen peytral to the rolling, hyperventilating changeling.

It took everything Chrysalis had to compose herself, but she was able to manage. Getting to her hooves, wiping tears of mirth from her cheeks, she stared over at her once-regal visitor. As entertaining as it was to face her rotund adversary, in spite of the collateral damage which had been caused, she was curious about one thing…

“If you’ve come for a solution to your not-so-little problem, I’m afraid the only way to amend your current state is to cut back on the snacks and to possibly invest in a treadmill,” she mused.

The Princess stepped forward, kicking her undersized armor away, and angrily snorted. “Oh I’m not here to fix this…”

Somewhat surprised with the admission, the Matriarch piqued her brow. “Then you came to destroy my hive, how droll. If you merely wished to raze my settlement, you could have…”

She trailed off, suddenly feeling something clamp her hooves to the floor. As she looked downward and noticed a brilliant aura cementing in place, a pang of fear went through her. Though Celestia may have looked like a bloated parody of her normal self, her power and, judging from the exchange, ire were almost beyond comprehension.

“I’ll have you know,” she huffed, praying the alicorn didn’t spot the cold bead of sweat rolling down her temple, “that this accomplishes nothing. Ending me will galvanize the hive and may well spur an actual conflict between our subjects - a conflict which, like it or not, will have dire repercussions for all Equestria.”

“I’m well aware,” Celestia snickered, her voice somehow both tranquil and menacing. “I just thought I’d come to return the favor.”

Realization struck Chrysalis like a sack of bricks, yet even she failed to fully comprehend what her rival had in store for her. Unable to move, trying in vain to free her legs, it was all she could do to watch the alicorn trot closer. It was only when Celestia leaned in, bringing her muzzle to the side of her head, did she realize she’d screwed up - she’d screwed up on an unfathomable level.

“Don’t tell anypony, but I’ve always been rather fond of your figure,” the Princess purred, breathing hotly on her ear. “So tall, so graceful, so regal - it’s no wonder your drones admire you so much.”

“C…cease this madness!” Chrysalis howled, but it was too late.

Like some insidious disease, a warmth blossomed in her bosom and radiated through her frame. Changelings were many things: adaptable, cunning, capable of flight, and having the ability to wield magic, but they had a small flaw - their gluttony. On a fundamental level, her kind was ravenous to the point of self-destruction, and she was no different than the rest of her kin.

“And those big, beautiful eyes -” Celestia continued, shifting to meet the Queen’s gaze, “absolutely magnificent.”

Try as she might, Chrysalis couldn’t stop her treacherous body from drinking in the praise. What started as a dull, pleasant sensation in her abdomen grew stronger with every honeyed word from the Princess, filling her with a tumultuous combination of joy and dread. It wasn’t that she disliked feeding, but this wasn’t a typical meal, she hadn’t subdued prey to satiate her urges - no, she was being infected with power.

A war between her higher-conscious and primal instincts waged within her, with the former losing ground with every passing second - moreover, she’d be lying if the praise didn’t feel absolutely incredible. To be fawned over by her brood was rewarding in and of itself, but to be glorified by an opponent was amorously agonizing. Twisting in place, she gnashed her teeth and desperately tried to ignore the abominable pony before her - sadly, her efforts were all for nought.

Nonchalantly trotting forward, Celestia drew a hoof from the Matriarch’s shoulder to her flank. “If only I could be so elegant and willowy as yourself,” she wistfully hummed, stopping just shy of her host’s rear. “Honestly, I’m surprised my loyal subjects don’t fling themselves at you and your -”

“Would you shut up,” Chrysalis barked, but it was too late.

As the biting words sailed past her lips, she felt a subtle shift in her weight. This was how it starts - this was how it always started. Unlike many other creatures in Equestria, her kind didn’t slowly accumulate excess energy through overindulgence and a sedentary lifestyle - her kind stored the surplus like a balloon filling with water. She didn’t have to look back to tell her thighs and hind quarters were gradually increasing in size - a fact which the alicorn was all too quick to take stock of.

“Oh…oh my,” Celestia gasped, taking a small step back. “I’d always presumed your allure was because of your lithe frame, but I may have been mistaken.”

The breath hitched in Chrysalis’ throat, her heart hammered in her chest, and her knees weakened, though those were the least of her problems. Aside from the waves of pleasure coursing through every fiber of her being, as well as the slight increase in heft, a very particular ache began to gnaw at her. Whipping her head around, she stared daggers at the portly Princess.

“Keep talking,” she hissed, “the more you feed me, the more powerful I become!”

“I certainly hope so,” Celestia smoothly countered, dismissively batting a hoof, “because I’m finding these new curves of yours quite appealing - by the way, just how large can you get?”

The Queen pursed her lips and set her jaw, determined not to reply. There were situations in life where the only reasonable course of action was not to act, to rein one’s self in and weather the storm, and this was one of them. As she put all her focus into the seething contempt she felt for Equestria’s reigning ruler, the Princess continued her relentless assault.

Giving the changeling’s broadening backside a playful smack, doubtlessly watching the softening flesh wobble, Celestia tittered like a school filly. “I’m surprised you aren’t this size normally, considering how much easier your life would be with such full, foal-bearing hips.”

In one of the rarer moments of her existence, Chrysalis felt fear - not because she was worried that her visitor may do her any harm, but because the ecstasy she felt was overwhelming. Feasting on virtually any creature was gratifying enough, but having an alicorn willingly nourish her - by her arthropod ancestors, it was almost sinfully indulgent. Like trying to stop the tide, her efforts to suppress her bliss were found wanting.

Her body was, for all intents and purposes, a sponge - a sponge voraciously drawing in every iota of affection that Celestia dispensed. The sensation was hard to describe, but there was nothing quite like it in the world. Staggeringly enjoyable, almost intoxicatingly so, the euphoric feeling of gorging on power clawed at her mind.

Prodding the writhing Queen’s gut, Celestia cocked her head. “This won’t do - this won’t do at all. If any of the countless stallions or even mares in my kingdom were to see you like this, I’d be the victim of a coup d'état - not to mention Luna would be inconsolable!”

“W…why?” Chrysalis rasped, saliva creeping from her open jaw and dangling from her chin.

The alicorn paused and looked about, almost as if she was ensuring they weren’t being watched, before shuffling to just in front the Matriarch’s drooling face. “Don’t tell anypony,” she whispered, shooting a conspiratorial glance over her shoulder, “but my sister despises you. She’s quite jealous of how gorgeous you are and, frankly, so am I.”

Chrysalis stiffened, her nerves going alight, as she was wracked by a bolt of pure, unrefined rapture. She was going to die - not in a pitched battle, not hunted down and persecuted for her transgressions, but drowned in soul-crushing pleasure. Only narrowly able to remain standing, her legs quaking beneath her, it was only through sheer force of will that she didn’t collapse.

Empowered by her guest’s borderline worship, supporting the not inconsiderable burden of her rubenesque build wasn’t physically difficult, but the mental strain was immense. She could practically see the dials on her scale struggling to calculate how much weight she’d put on. Gone was her slim, agile body, replaced by a gratuitous rump and a tubby tummy.

As she stared blankly forward, she could feel herself teetering on the precipice of insanity. There she was, in her own throne room, being made a fool of by the most repugnant ruler Equestria had ever known. Only vaguely aware of the alicorn shifting, drifting nearer with closed eyes, she was woefully unprepared for the killing blow.

“Forgive me,” Celestia breathed, “before I depart, let me just…”

Without any warning whatsoever, the Princess shot forward and locked lips with her. If the adulation had been her torture, the impassioned kiss was her pitiless execution. She’d experienced much in her time, ranging from moments of triumph to disgraceful defeats, yet nothing could have prepared her for that moment. With her vision tunneling and limbs growing weak, she crumpled to the floor in a quivering, whimpering heap.

Slowly shaking her head, grinning all the while, Celestia turned and nonchalantly blasted a sizable hole in the exterior wall. “If you’d been a bit more robust, I would have asked for the honor of sharing your company for the night - such a shame…”

More robust? Sharing her company for the night? Shame? As infuriating as such disrespectful statements were, Chrysalis’ id fixated on the titillating elements of what the alicorn had said and done. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d let anything kiss her, yet Celestia had done so with all the demure, imperial elegance for which she was renowned. Reeling from the staggering onslaught, she forced herself back to the waking world.

“Gah…wha…” Chrysalis slurred, wearily peering up at the retreating alicorn.

Powerless to do much of anything, humiliated beyond all belief, she watched her unwanted visitor sail into the evening air and out of sight. On one hoof, she was immeasurably relieved that her guest had departed - on the other, the thought of what Celestia would have done, had she stayed for the night, sent a thrilled shiver up her spine. Shakily turning her head to peer down at herself, she groaned.

The Princess had been rather shapely and clearly overweight, but she’d been rendered downright corpulent. With doughy thighs, rolls of belly, and an obscenely fat tush, she looked like a distasteful caricature of how she’d been less than an hour prior - that said, she was too exhausted and groggy to care. Though she despised what she’d become, the circumstances weren’t nearly as dire as they could have been.

For starters, as far as she knew, the scandalous exchange had gone unnoticed by any of her hive - secondly and more prudently, she wouldn’t have to eat a thing for the better part of a month. As loathe as she was to admit it, one could argue that her defeat had actually been a victory - sure, it may take her some time to burn through the excess mass she’d accumulated, but that wasn’t nearly as onerous as what Celestia would have to do to shed the weight. With a drunken, silly smile splitting her muzzle, she unsteadily pushed herself up and got to her hooves.

As she stumbled off to her chamber, she fought through the cognitive fog to devise a plausible story for her brood. For all the hive knew, she’d actually been the victor in what would believably be a pitched battle with the alicorn, and that’s exactly what the hive would learn. As far as any drone would ever know, her size was the result of her feasting upon and subsequently vanquishing her foe.

Luckily for her, she’d have plenty of time to get herself tidied up and presentable prior to her guards returning. One of the more unsavory things about changelings was they tended to scatter when things went sideways, though that could be used to her benefit. Moving down the hallway and into her chamber, languidly trotting past her vanity, she faltered.

Despite looking at herself, she hadn’t fully appreciated the effects of her gratuitous and unexpected meal. As she stared at her reflection, her eyes widened with amazement. Despite always having taken pride in her lanky physique, she couldn’t deny that her newfound form had a certain charm. Voluptuous as all get-out, her figure was the embodiment of what a fertile and motherly Matriarch could be.

“Stupid - Ugh!” she cursed, scowling and storming off to her boudoir.

It was bad enough that she’d been utterly trounced by Celestia, but it was infinitely worse that she took any satisfaction from her failure - still, that’s precisely what she’d done. Regardless of her burning enmity toward the Princess, she felt and looked phenomenal. Forgiveness wasn’t nor ever had been a part of her, yet the the embarrassing fiasco did shed light on an interesting truth - if Celestia had no qualms about turning the tables in such a wildly salacious manner, what would happen if she doubled down and dosed the vindictive alicorn with an even more potent potion?