Chapters Ponies Versus the Internet
"Aaaand done!" said Twilight Sparkle as she connected the last two wires. She had just built a computer from the human world and she wanted to see what the fuss was about. For the internet, she would use her unicorn magic to send and receive data. And for power a steam engine that AppleJack let her borrow. "Now all we need is an operating system."
"We're not using windows are we?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Unfortunately I have to. I wouldn't know how to build one otherwise!" replied Twilight. "eventually I'll make a new operating system that will be based on the ponies themselves but for now I'm just building this one."
"are, you gonna program them to do stuff?" asked Pinkie Pie.
"Well yes primarily, but I noticed a lot of humans in the other world with portable computers and they tend to look at it a lot so I built it to learn about it."
"So... You're making a smart computer?" asked Pinkie Pie.
"Yes, I'm making a smart computer!" said Twilight. "It's the first one of Equestria! And pretty soon, all ponies will have them portable so they can have knowledge where ever they go!"
"That sounds awesome!" said Rainbow Dash
"But how are you gonna make it work?" asked Applejack.
"Well for starters I'm going to turn it on," she says starting up the steam generator. The computer began to boot up. It made a loud whirring sound and then a screen appeared."
"HA! IT WORKS!" exclaimed Twilight. She sat down and started using her horn to move the mouse cursor. "Just like the computers in the human world, but now I got to set up wifi!" she started typing away. "... So I guess I should name this..." she thought for a second. "I know! Call it 'Twilight'."
"Why not call it 'Rainbow Dash'?" asked Fluttershy.
"Cause it's the name of my favorite pony!" replied Twilight with a cheesy smile.
"What if someone else wants to use it?"
"Well of course ill let you all use it, but it just needs some programs on it and then it will be ready. I will make the first test then you guys can go and take turns on it. Ok?"
"Ok!" said Rainbow Dash.
"Ok!" said Fluttershy.
"Okay okay okay..." said Pinkie Pie.
After a few minutes of testing the system, the rest of the group came into the room to see what was going on.
"Hey guys!" said Twilight "look at this!" she pointed to the monitor. A small image of a rainbow appeared on the screen.
"Oh cool!" said Applejack "so it's doing something already!"
"Apparently it's called "YouTube? And this human found a double rainbow"
"AWSOME!!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash "but why is it showing human stuff?"
"All the content is based on the human tech, not ponies magic, there is not a single pony piece of content on there. And you guys are going to help me make the first one."
She revealed a circular device with a wire connected "this is called a camera" she began "it stores motion data into the computer in a savable format." she continued.
"Cool!" said Applejack
"Wait, what do you mean by 'uploaded'? Like, put it in a computer?" asked Rainbow Dash
"Yeah," replied Twilight. "The computer is going to be able to store the information and display it on the screen. We will be able to watch anything we want on this screen"
"That's really cool!" said Pinkie Pie.
"Ooh," said Rarity. "Do you think you could make me look good on the screen?"
"Um no, it's not that kind of camera, silly" answered Twilight. "Ok I'm starting," said Twilight turning on the record. "Hello every pony?" twilight questioned, "does this work?"
She pressed stop and played it. The screen was filled with a purple pony saying "hello every pony, does this work?"
"Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh " Rainbow Dash clamored.
"Wow thats amazing!" exclaimed Fluttershy.
"Oh yeah," said Applejack.
"It's like having a portal to the human world!" said Pinkie Pie.
"Maybe we should start uploading our own videos" suggested Rainbow Dash.
"Well I'm glad you like it!" said Twilight excitedly. "But there's more! I'm also going to make the computer understand English! So you can talk to it."
"How?" asked Rainbow Dash
"Like I am talking to you right now," she said looking at the others "when I speak to the computer it will understand everything I say"
"Wow that would be so cool!" exclaimed Fluttershy.
"But thats in the near future when it's my turn again... But in the meantime, who wants to go first?" asked Twilight.
Ponies Versus the Internet
Applejack AGRO culture(1)
"Well I'll sure as tootin' I'll give it a go!" said Applejack.
"Alright!" said Twilight as she pressed play. The screen went blank and a blue screen appeared. "Alright A.J., what is on your mind, what would you like to know?"
Pinkies eyes opened wide. "You mean you don't know?" she asked, looking outside. "it's overcast."
"But I want the comp oot er' to tell me," said Applejack.
"all right, let's put it in the text field."
Applejack typed in "what is the weather today?"
A message popped up on the screen. "the weather today is error location unknown."
"Oh yeah that's right, it only reads data from the human world... let's try Canterlot high..." said Twilight.
"It's raining," said the screen. "70 degrees with 5 percent humidity.
"It's not raining!" yelled Applejack.
"calm down, it obviously means it raining in the human world," said Twilight.
"I guess," said Applejack
"the internet is also full of knowledge," said Twilight "I bet you are wondering how humans grow their crops?"
"yeah I guess so," said Applejack "I wonder if they have big farms like us or if it's just little farms like in Equestria?"
"Hmm I guess I'll find out soon enough," said Twilight.
The screen flashed. "There are large commercial farms in the US. They raise corn, wheat, soybeans, cotton, poultry, beef cattle, and hogs. There are also many smaller farms. Farms differ from state to state depending on the climate, soil, and other factors. Farmers grow their plants by getting the correct seeds and planting them, watering them, and making sure they get plenty of sunlight. and can enrich the flavor of it by adding fertilizer from wood chips or horse manure."
Applejack snorted. "What in tarnation? that offensive to use pony poop on your plants."
"No it's not," said Twilight scrolling down the page"humans have been doing it for ages apparently"
"Well, I ain't gonna eat a plant grown with pony poo."
"Actually you already have." said Twilight
"no I haven't," said Applejack.
"yes you have," said Twilight "remember that piece of bread I brought back from the human world?"
"Yeah?" began Applejack but then she quickly put her hoof in her mouth to keep her from retching as she remembered she ate it and thought it was amazing.
The computer continues " Humans once used horses are used to carry loads, pull plows, and carts. but now uses sophisticated equipment to harvest crops"
Applejack was angry "The humans were just enslaving ponies once?
"Yeah, but it still doesn't sound right."
"It really isn't." said Twilight. "but I guess they need the help."
the computer continues "humanity raises pigs and cows to create sustainable meat by means of butchering."
"Oh, my!" gasped Fluttershy.
"That does it!" seethed Applejack "I'm grabbing my shovel Shela and I'm gonna give them humans a piece of my mind!"
"Don't do that," said Twilight. "We need to learn to get along with them."
"Why?" asked Applejack. "They treat animals like dirt."
"Because they are ignorant." said Twilight. "and that's why we need to learn about them, so we can show them how much better we are."
"Are we though?" asked Fluttershy. " I grab live worms and feed them to birds."
"That's different, you are helping the ecosystem," said Twilight. "And besides, you have never seen a farm before, you wouldn't know what you were talking about."
"I've seen plenty of farms," said Applejack. "and now I've seen how they treat their animals. its time we do something about it."
"You can't do anything Applejack," said Twilight. "we are just ponies."
"Yes we are," said Applejack, "but we are also superior to them, animals don't deserve to be treated like that."
"Well maybe we should teach them a lesson then," said Fluttershy.
Twilight beamed. "I love it when you talk like that Fluttershy."
"I'm glad you approve, Twilight!" said Fluttershy.
"If we go to Canterlot High, we might be able to convince the teachers to take action against the farms," said Applejack.
"Let me write it on the list and see if we can convince the principal there," said Twilight making a note. "But first, I promised you all to get a turn. So who goes next?"
Ponies Versus the Internet
Pinkie Pie the inquisitor(1)
"Me!" shouted Pinkie Pie.
Twilight smiled. "Ok Pinkie, what do you want to know?"
Pinkie looked around at everyone else. "How many stars are in the sky tonight?"
Twilight keyed the question on the computer. which generated a response "There are more than enough stars to fill the night sky. The Milky Way galaxy contains about 100 billion suns. It's impossible to count them all. Even with the Hubble telescope, we cannot measure how many galaxies exist in the universe."
"it's wrong" exclaimed Pinkie. "There are 457 trillion to the tenth power."
Twilight looked at her confused. "I don't understand what you mean."
"Just trust me Twilight, I know things." said Pinkie, "I know things that others don't know."
Twilight dismissed this as another Pinkie Pie thing, but trusted her anyway. "what else would you like to ask the computer?" Twilight asked.
"How much is a gallon of water?" asked Pinkie.
"specify query" replied the computer.
"how much is a gallon of water in metric units?"
"A gallon of water weighs exactly 8 pounds."
"wow! that's heavy." said Pinkie.
"well, that's the way it is." said Twilight.
"So, how many gallons are there in the ocean?" asked Pinkie.
"there are between 5 and 7 thousand cubic miles of seawater in the oceans." replied the computer.
"how big is the earth?"
"The earth is approximately 93 million miles in diameter."
"Wow that's huge!" said Pinkie.
"so, how long is a mile?" asked Pinkie.
"a mile is about 6, 280 feet long."
"oh my gosh! that's so long!" exclaimed Pinkie.
"it sure is," said Twilight.
"What is the speed of light?" asked Pinkie.
"The speed of light is 186, 000 miles per second." replies the computer.
"that's fast!" said Pinkie. Twilight was befuddled "speed of light Pinkie? Light just is! it doesn't have a speed."
"it does now! sang Pinkie Pie. "Light has been measured to travel at a constant speed of 186, 000 miles per second. It is the fastest known speed in the universe."
"Wow Pinkie, you're amazing." said Twilight.
"what else can you tell me about the universe?" asked Pinkie.
"in theory, there are a total of 6 dimensions in the universe" replied the computer.
"6 dimensions! That sounds crazy!" said Pinkie.
"It is not so far-fetched actually," said Twilight. "the universe is comprised of 3 spatial dimensions, time and the fourth
"Like what?" asked Pinkie.
"let's ask the computer!" said Twilight
the computer whirs a bit "the current theoretical dimensions in the universe are Length, Width, Height, Time, Gravity, and Love."
"Love?" said Pinkie.
"yes, Love is a dimension that has not yet been discovered by science. It is hypothesized that Love is a dimension that exists beyond the other five dimensions."
"Oh wow! I didn't know love was a dimension," said Pinkie.
"But it is Pinkie." said Twilight. "just think about it. If you love someone, you give them your heart. Your emotions become part of that person. In return, that person gives you theirs. You feel connected to that person. You feel happy when he or she is happy. You feel sad when he or she is sad. This is why people say that love is a wonderful feeling. and when they pass on, we still love them? why would we love some pony when they are dead? Because their spirit lives on in our hearts. And we remember them and hold them close to our hearts. It is because we love them that we want their spirits to live on forever. We want to keep them alive. This is why we believe in an afterlife and heaven and hell. We want to keep those we loved alive forever. so yes, love is a dimension. It is a dimension that exists beyond the other five dimensions."
"Really?" asked Pinkie.
"Yes," said Twilight.
"Wow," said Pinkie. "That's pretty cool!"
"Eggheads" commented Rainbow Dash.
"Ok, any other questions you wish to ask the computer Pinkie?" asked Twilight.
"Yeah, where do babies come from?" asked Pinkie.
Twilight blushes as she knew exactly where they came from.
The computer thinks and changes the screen to provide the answer "babies are created in a special place called the ut.."
Twilight turns off the screen and face hoofs blushing so much you could see her face glowing.
"ew," said Applejack who only had a brief glance of what it was. "I don't think I'm ready for whatever that was."
"Well, that's all the time we have today Pinkie," said Twilight nervously.
"Wait, but I have more questions!" asked Pinkie.
"Yes, but we will save that for another day," said Twilight.
"Fine" Pinkie says crossing her hooves.
Ponies Versus the Internet
Rainbow Dash looked at the metallic box that was the brains of the computer, the monitor, and all the cables needed to run it. A smile formed across her face. She hooked up the wires and turned it on. It booted up and Rainbow Dash just sat there for a minute before typing into it "what is fun about computers?" she really wanted to know what was fun about it because so far, Rainbow just learned stuff from it. In short, they did not think humanity was all a bunch of eggheads what did they do on their computers for fun?
The computer responds "fun is subjective. For instance, horse racing, fishing, playing video games, reading books, watching movies or tv shows, working on cars, "Horse racing?" Rainbow Dash thought. She then remembers that the horses on earth were different than in Equestria. The hooves were much bigger and the teeth were sharper. Her eyes widened in amazement and shivered to see one of them make a weird smile. Then she remembered that ponies never smiled except for special occasions such as weddings or birthdays.
She typed "What is fishing?"
"Fishing is catching fish by using bait and lures." replied the computer "and sometimes people use rods and reels to catch them faster."
"why to catch fish?" asked rainbow dash.
"Because they taste good and provide food." answered the computer.
"EWW" shouted Rainbow Dash. "Humanity eats fish?"
"Yes, most species of fish are eaten regularly." responded the computer.
"well now I got to ask, does humanity eat horses?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"No, horses are usually kept as pets." said the computer.
Rainbow sighs and smiles "good, I don't want to become pony meat." she said.
"what are video games?" Rainbow Typed on the computer.
"Video Games are forms of entertainment where players interact with virtual environments and perform actions that affect the game world." explained the computer.
"Entertainment?" asked Rainbow "heh about time, virtual world huh? well no harm in trying that, there is nothing else here to entertain me." Rainbow Dash said, "what is the best game out there?"
"Well if you aren't looking for a challenge, you could play any of the Mario series." Said the computer.
"But I kind of want a challenge. do you even know who I am?" asked Rainbow
"if you're looking for a challenge, then you should try Dark Souls 3, " Replied the computer.
"dark souls 3" rainbow dash put in the computer.
"Dark souls 3 is an action role-playing game published by Bandai Namco Entertainment." Said the computer
"6000 bits to buy?!" Asked Rainbow
"Thats dollars," said Twilight just walking in the room "Hey Rainbow, what you doing?"
"TRYing to play a 'video game'" Rainbow Dash said sarcastically.
Twilight looked at what dash was looking at "Dash you have to remember we don't have human currency, we just have gold coins as ours. so anything representing the little doohickey over next to a number. means it costs human money." Said Twilight.
"so I can't play it?"
"I'm afraid not, well at least until we have human currency," said Twilight.
"Okay, well what do I play?"
"play the free games if any" replied Twilight.
Dash typed in "free video games" on the computer.
A list came up and Rainbow Dash started scrolling down it. There were a lot of game titles like Angry birds, solitaire, Tetris, Pong, Pacman, Yahtzee, jeopardy, scrabble, monopoly, chess, and many more. As she scrolled down, she saw "Fortnite". She read the description "Battle royale survival shooter set on a map filled with weapons and items. Up to 100 players compete to be the last man standing."
she looks at Twilight "can I play this?"
"Why would you want to play that?" asked Twilight.
"because it's fun! look how big the map is, there must be loads of things to find,"
"Your goal is to survive, that means you have to kill some creature Dash."
"I DO?"
"Not in real life dash only in the virtual world."
"Oh okay!" exclaimed Rainbow.
"Okay let's go get the game," said Twilight "There is a small problem though."
"problem?" asked Rainbow
"We got to pass a ReCaptcha"
"a re what now?" asked Rainbow
"ReCaptcha, It's a program that checks whether the user is human or not."
"Well thats not nice, we are ponies!"
"well let's see, all it is is a puzzle... I'm sure we can figure this out..." said Twilight.
"Done!" said Twilight "now let's go get the game."
* * *
Fortnite was installed, and Rainbow dash saw the intro screens "Aww yeah this is going to be awesome!" she cheered.
"This will take a bit of getting used to because humans normally play with controllers, while ponies... don't have that luxury," said Twilight.
"yeah but I'm gonna learn how to play with keyboard and mouse anyways," said Rainbow Dash.
They placed their chairs close enough to each other so that they had easy access to whatever they needed. Both began attempting to play the game.
at first, the tutorial was slow, almost unresponsive, but after a few minutes, both girls figured it out and were ready to go online.
"let's start off simple, I'll go first," said Rainbow Dash.
She entered her username "20PonyDash" The game loaded, and when it did, its avatar appeared on the screen.
Twilight watched the new character come alive on the screen, she wanted to say something but couldn't think of what to say.
Rainbow dash ran around after he got off the battle bus and went around the island picking up resources (weapons, shields, armor) and killing enemies along the way. Her avatar took damage from one enemy, and since she didn't have shields, after falling off a cliff she died instantly. the avatar was sucked up in a lightbulb.
"aww crap!" shouted Rainbow Dash.
"What happened?" asked Twilight.
"I killed myself by accident," said Rainbow Dash.
"That sucks, I guess you will have to start again."
and thats exactly what he did, over and over and over again. but to Dash's dismay never got the number one spot.
Twilight kept watching Dash trying to master the art of Fortnite. Every time she died she would try harder to avoid dying. Eventually, she learned how to build. She built ramps that allowed her to jump higher. She also learned about building walls between herself and her enemies. This helped protect her from being shot by the enemy. But even then sometimes she still lost. After hours of playing she finally managed to get it.
"I GOT ONE!!!" yelled Rainbow Dash.
"I'm proud of you Dash! you finally won one!" said Twilight.
"Yeah, I know! I'm so happy right now!!"
they turned off the computer and stepped outside where the moon was overhead. Twilight looked at her friend who seemed very concerned.
"What time is it Twilight?" asked Dash.
"It's 12: 30 am"
"wow, we spent all night trying to beat that game didn't we?"
"yeah but hey I bet we could do better next time!"
"Maybe," said Dash "but until then I need sleep."
"Okay goodnight Dash"
"goodnight Twilight"
And with that, they walked back to their houses and fell asleep.
Ponies Versus the Internet
"Darling, I do believe it is my turn now," said Rarity.
"Oh yes, please do," said Twilight.
Rarity smiled at Twilight as she took the computer helm "I wonder what manner of fashion humanity makes"she said as she typed "Latest fashion" in the search query.
The computer thinks and gives a response "Fashion has changed dramatically since the industrial revolution. Fashion today focuses more on comfort than style. In the past, people wore clothes made of wool or linen. Today, people wear clothing made of polyester, nylon, and spandex because these materials provide greater warmth without having to sacrifice comfort.
"Spandex? I never hear of such a thing," said Rarity as she searched spandex on the computer.
"it's a material made of synthetic fibers which are very stretchy and provide great resistance to tearing." answered the computer
Rarity read some of the results. "Not as Fru Fru as my dresses, in fact very plain and basic in my opinion. It must be uncomforting to wear it!" she kept scrolling "What are bras? I have never heard of such things. She types Bras on the computer.
"A bra is a garment worn under a woman's blouse to support her breasts. The purpose of a bra is to hold up an unsupported breast. A bra provides support to prevent sagging and make the breasts appear firmer." said the computer.
"Why do they do that? We never wore any "bras" for our breasts? asked Rarity.
"In ancient times women did not wear bras. This practice evolved later. For example, Queen Victoria began wearing a corset to enhance her figure and breasts in 1848. Other European women followed suit. By 1870, the corset had become fashionable among young American women. The use of a corset became common practice among women across Europe. the computer chimed.
"Enhance figure? I wonder... Twilight... don't you think I have a good figure?" asked Rarity
"I think you have a perfect figure," said Spike, swooning.
Twilight looked over Rarity's body critically. "you're right. You always look so elegant and beautiful. why would I ever doubt your beauty?"
Rarity smiled as she typed 'women's rights into the computer.
The computer thought for a moment. "Women's rights are human rights. Women have equal standing with men in society. They are free from discrimination based upon gender." the computer responded
"Thats an interesting topic... why did you type that?" asked Twilight
"I was wondering if this technology could help improve women's lives. Maybe women would stop being oppressed by men." said Rarity
"why do you say that?" asked Twilight.
"Because Fancy Pants tramples all over me sometimes!, UGHHH men! why do they think they are better than Moi?" shouted Rarity
"Because you let him!" yelled Twilight.
"I beg your pardon? gasped Rarity.
"What I mean is, that you allow yourself to be trampled on, instead of standing up for yourself," explained Twilight.
Rarity slumped down in a chair. "Do you really think I am letting myself be trampled on by the man who I like?"
"yes, he does not value you," said Twilight.
"he values me enough to buy me nice things." protested Rarity.
"those things aren't real Rarity. He only buys you those things out of pity."
"Pity? Why would he feel sorry for me? I am doing fine, thank you very much." replied Rarity indignantly.
"He feels sorry for you because you give him the impression that you will do anything to keep his attention," argued Twilight.
Rarity glared at Twilight. "But how else am I supposed to show him that I care for him other than buying him expensive gifts?"
"well you could tell him that you love him," suggested Twilight.
"Love him? But I haven't even told him I like him yet," muttered Rarity.
"It doesn't matter. Tell him anyway," said Twilight.
"Are you sure about this?" asked Rarity.
"Let's ask the computer" twilight said while typing in "What is love?" on the computer.
A song pops up as the first result "Haddaway - What Is Love (Echo)"
"Oh look a song let's listen!" said Twilight
"NOPE NOPE NOPE!" clamored pinkie pie "Don't do that! thats not allowed!"
"Pinkie Pie what are you on about?" asked Rarity.
"It's against the rules. Just trust me on this one."
"Alright fine said Twilight as she scrolled down the page."
The computer gave another result "Love is when someone cares about something or someone above themselves. To love is also to desire to protect them."
"That sounds like fancy talk to me," said Pinkie Pie.
"However," continued the computer "love can take many forms, including romantic love, familial love, platonic love, and friendship love."
"Friendship love?" mumbled Rarity.
"Well we already know that a pony has to love their friends before they can love anyone else," said Twilight.
"but that's not true! I am perfectly capable of loving several people at once!" exclaimed Rarity.
"No, you can't! That's impossible! All ponies are born incapable of having more than one friend." said Twilight.
"oh ho ho ho ho ho! So you mean to tell me that YOU DONT LOVE ME!?" demanded Rarity angrily.
"No, but..." started Twilight.
"and I bet you don't love spike either!" screamed Rarity.
"Yes. I mean NO! I mean...." stammered Twilight.
"LIAR!" yelled Rarity.
"NO! I'm NOT lying!!" insisted Twilight
"Then prove it!" said Rarity.
"How should I prove it?" asked Twilight.
"By telling us both that you love each of us equally!" ordered Rarity.
"I do!, I love you both equally," said Twilight.
Both ponies stare at each other.
"What just happened?" asked Fluttershy.
"I believe my little princess just declared her undying love for two completely different creatures... you should now totally get married," said Rainbow Dash giggling
"No, I didn't " asked Twilight "It's plutonic love!"
"UH HUUHHH!" said Rainbow Dash sarcastically.
"I mean It's True love between 2 best friends." Pinkie pie said continuing the prank.
"Whatever," grumbled Twilight.
"Anyway, next question," said Rarity. "What is the most common form of love?" typed Rarity into the computer.
"Rarity!" yelled Twilight.
"What?"
Another pop-up appears "According to the dictionary: Romantic love- A strong feeling of affection for another person, especially with sexual overtones."
Rarity looks down with a dark expression on her face. "Sex..." she says agast. "I see now..."
"It's ok, there isn't always sex involved in romance," said Twilight.
"Yeah, sometimes it's just holding hands and hugging," added Rainbow dash.
"Sometimes it's kissing and cuddling too," said Pinkie pie.
Rarity stares blankly at the screen. She turns away from all 3 of her friends.
"Hey what's wrong?" asked Twilight.
"Nothing," answered Rarity, seeing Spike just sitting there twirling his tail and looking at her. She knew full well of his feelings towards her and she also knew he would come of age very soon. She would hope to give Spike a slow letdown if he asked her to go steady. or maybe she would fulfill every desire he could have ever wanted... but that was a future Rarity problem.
Ponies Versus the Internet
Fluttershy: Waifu(requested)
Fluttershy stood up and walked past Twilight and Applejack, who was looking at the computer already.
"What did you say?" asked Applejack.
"I said let me do it," replied Twilight "I do have more experience than you two."
"Okay." grumbled Applejack.
"What are you girls talking about?" asked Fluttershy
"Apparently it's a medium called 'Anime'" said Rainbow Dash using hoof quotes.
"Oh yeah, I heard about that," said Fluttershy "isn't it Japanese?"
"Yep," said Twilight "it's cartoons made in Japan."
Rainbow Dash made a 'yuck' sound.
"why are you watching anime?" asked Fluttershy.
"It's educational." said Twilight. "it's a good way to learn about other cultures."
"Like what exactly?" asked Fluttershy.
"Well anime has lots of stories about romance," said Twilight. "So you could watch an anime series where there is a prince and princess falling in love, and then fall in love yourself."
"But aren't those shows just fantasies?" asked Fluttershy.
"No." said Twilight "they are very realistic because these things actually happen in real life."
"Really?" asked Fluttershy.
"Yes, many people meet their partners online or through friends. It happens every day."
"Wow, what a wonderful idea," said Fluttershy.
"There is another thing too." Twilight continued. "Anime has lots of violence too, there is one called...Jojo bizarre adventure? not seen it yet but from this article, I'm reading it has high praise."
"According to humanity" scoffed Applejack "where violence is only for entertainment purposes, and no one gets hurt," she says sarcastically.
"Maybe someone will make a pony Jojo anime someday," said Twilight.
"Or some kind of modernized version of Romeo and Juliet" added Rarity.
"Romeo and Juliet would work too." agreed Twilight.
"Anyways," said Applejack "you got any suggestions?"
"Well..." began Fluttershy.
"I think I'll start with JoJo since everyone seems to want to watch it," said Twilight.
"Me too," said Rainbow Dash
"Whats a Waifu?" asked Fluttershy
The group stops their clamoring as the question was completely random. That was until they all looked at what Fluttershy was looking at. the sentence read on the computer. "Many Anime use Waifus as romantic characters."
"What is a Waifu?" repeated Fluttershy.
Twilight typed the question on the computer. "Waifu: A term used by fans of anime to describe fictional wives/girlfriends created in media. They usually share similar qualities such as personality traits or physical features of actual human women."
"So basically your wife." said Fluttershy "but without having a husband."
"I guess," said Twilight.
"so what does that mean?" asked Applejack.
"It means that you can pretend to be married to a character from a TV show or movie," explained Twilight.
"But why would anyone want to do that?" asked Fluttershy.
"Because you can imagine being in a relationship with her," said Twilight.
"That sounds boring," said Pinkie Pie.
"Not really," said Twilight "just imagine your own personal fantasy world, where you will never run into problems with boys or husbands. You can live happily ever after with your favorite anime girl."
"that doesn't sound bad." agreed Fluttershy. Do you think I could make a good Waifu to any pony? "she asks thinking back to the time she spent with Twilight.
"You definitely have the potential to become a great Waifu." said Twilight. "and besides, you're besties with me!
"Sure, go ahead," said Twilight.
"How about Big Mac?" asked Fluttershy.
"He's too big," said Twilight.
"And Scootaloo?" asked Fluttershy.
"She's still little," said Twilight.
"How about Shining Armor?" asked Fluttershy.
"Too much... armor," said Twilight.
"Then... how about Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy suggests.
A burst of laughter came from above the ceiling as Rainbow Dash was laughing at this. She finally stopped when she saw Fluttershy staring up at her.
"Why were you laughing?" asked Fluttershy.
"You? MY Waifu? you got to be joking. You got to be at least twenty percent cooler even for me to consider it." replied Rainbow Dash.
Fluttershy felt offended by this remark. "You want to know what's NOT cool? Being treated like a joke by your best friend."
"Hey now!" protested Rainbow Dash.
"Oh come on, don't deny it." said Fluttershy. "there's nothing wrong with admitting it."
"Fine," admitted Rainbow Dash. "But let's get something straight first."
"what's that?" asked Fluttershy.
"If we ever had a conversation like this again, I swear I'd kick you right in the butt."
Twilight looked up amused "Oh come on Fluttershy, it's not like he'd ever say yes anyway. He's already married to his job of flying." she said.
"Dang straight!" retorted Rainbow Dash.
Fluttershy sighed "Yeah, thats true. Maybe I'll just stick to making a good Waifu for myself then." she said.
After saying goodbye to Twilight, Fluttershy went upstairs to her room. After taking off her clothes, she laid down in bed.
She slowly stood up and walked over to the mirror that hung next to her desk. Looking herself over, she smiled. Her hair was pink and curly, reaching past her shoulders. Her body was slim, yet curvy. She turned around to look at her rear end. Even though she wasn't wearing anything, her ass looked nice enough. Turning back to face forward, she noticed that her breasts weren't huge, nor small. They were just average size, but that made them perfect for her frame. Standing behind her, she touched her sides, feeling her ribs and collarbones. "I could make myself A Waifu if I look this cute," she thought. "Then again... Maybe I shouldn't choose someone based on looks alone..." she thought. "Maybe I should choose one based on their personalities instead." she continued.
She walked back to her bed and sat down. Then she closed her eyes and tried to remember all of the characters she liked most. Of course, Twilight Sparkle is always near the top of her list, followed closely by Spike (who is also a dragon). She remembered Rarity, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Rainbow Dash. All of these characters seem interesting enough to be worthy of being her Waifu... Fluttershy leaped from her covers. "what am I thinking... I want all of them to be my Waifu?" she cried. The elemental pony looked at her door where on the other side slept her best friends "It IS a game, right?" she thought.
Ponies Versus the Internet
Twilight quickly scanned the room to see whose turn it was next. but then spotted a familiar face.
"Luna!" shouted Twilight.
Luna had just entered the room looking very pleased with herself.
"Hello Twilight," said Luna.
"Hi, Luna. Are you interested in testing out this thing called a computer?" asked Twilight.
"Whatever I can do to assist thou," said Luna.
"Have you ever heard of the internet?" asked Twilight.
"Thou hast confused me," said Luna.
"Well then, let's get started at the beginning, this is a computer," said Twilight.
"How doth it work?" asked Luna.
"Well, computers use binary code to send information back and forth," said Twilight.
"'binary code?' praytell what such a thing is," asked Luna.
"Basically it's a language used to communicate over a network," said Twilight. "It's called wifi, and we can use it to create memories or learn about stuff in the human world"
"Oh dear, how does one go about learning such things?" asked Luna.
"Well, you can find courses online, or you can read books if you prefer," said Twilight.
"Take no offense my dear Twilight Sparkle but I doth believe my age hast taught me many things, I highly doubt I will learn anything."
But it will teach you about the human world!"
"Thou hast has spoken truly of this one thing I knowest nothing except a thing called a 'faculty lot'. Ive learned the ways of magic and the ways of life itself," said Luna.
"Well, I am sure that is true Luna, but you should always try new things and expand your horizons," said Twilight.
"Very well my dear, I shall do as thou asks of me," said Luna.
"Great, now let's get started. Go ahead and ask me a question like I'm a human," said Twilight.
"What is the meaning of life?" asked Luna.
"Uh... Maybe something a little less thought-provoking... Try to be casual." said Twilight.
"What... Is your... Favorite... Math... Equation?" asked Luna.
"There you go!" exclaimed Twilight as she type the question into the computer.
The computer responded by showing the most popular math equation "The Pythagorean theorem is currently trending."
"Thus it is for humanity in the current age correct?" asked Luna.
"Yes, it is for all humans right now," said Twilight.
"What is thus the picture of a pyramid shape made of stone?"
Twilight clicked on it and the computer responded. "The pyramids are man-made structures built around 3000 BC in Egypt. They were built by slaves who worked under the command of Pharaoh Khufu. The pyramids contained tombs for pharaohs and their wives"
"Ist humanity thusly so cruel? Are the current man-made structures built by slaves today?" asked Luna.
Twilight typed the query into the computer. "Slavery is illegal and has been since the 1800s. But people still have to work hard to get ahead in society. That is why people need to study hard to get into good schools and colleges. Then they can get a good job and build a better life for themselves."
"I see, how doth thou measure time?" asked Luna.
"Time is measured in years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds, and milliseconds." said the computer screen " years are measured by the number of earth rotations around the sun, months are measured by the number of days in the month, weeks are measured by the number of days in the week, days are measured by the length of the day, hours are measured by the length of the night, minutes are measured by the length of the hour, seconds are measured by the length of the minute, and milliseconds are measured by the length of a thousandth of a second."
"That is indeed a complex system humanity hast created." said Luna "we only hast ever calculated by the amount of moon rises"
"So, what do you want to know next?" asked Twilight.
"Ask it what the current day is," said Luna.
"It is $curTime ." said the computer.
"An amazing piece of knowledge you have built Twilight you are commended!"
"Don't thank me, thank humanity, it's how I built it in the first place," said Twilight.
"I shall endeavor to remember this great feat of yours, oh yes, tell me what the weather is like outside," said Luna.
"It's sunny and 75 degrees outside." said the computer.
"Ah, another form of measurement that must be from the human world. Could you ask it what that means?" asked Luna.
"Weather is a measure of temperature and humidity. It also tells us whether there will be rain or snow." said the computer.
"Why must humanity create complex structures of measurement? They can just say it's cold or warm outside," asked Luna.
"Because if you say it's hot, then some people will think it's too hot for them to go out. If you say it's cold, then others will think it's too cold for them to go out. So, people don't talk about the weather because it makes everyone mad." said Twilight.
"I stand corrected Twilight Sparkle, I indeed have learned something new."
Twilight giggles.
"Now, I would love to continue our conversation but I fear it is getting late, the dream world calls me," said Luna. "I shall return here in the hope of learning about humanity."
"Good luck, I'll keep working on the project," said Twilight.
And she waved goodbye as Luna flew away into the sunset hues.
Author's Note
may have broken the 4th wall a bit.
Ponies Versus the Internet
Twilight: Insanity and War(requested)
Twilight entered the castle where the computer was, it stood there looking at her expectantly. Rainbow dash was already there playing a game on the computer.
"so much knowledge and it's all in this box. What am I going to do with you?" she said to it. It was her turn to find something about humanity today, and Twilight went through her notes to see what interested her the most today.
"Hey Dash, I'm home," she said "You think you can save and play later? I have some research to do."
Rainbow Dash nodded. "Sure thing Twilight," she replied.
"Thanks," Twilight said.
One of the things on Twilight's list was human hostility, she remembered being bullied by Starlight Glimmer when she was at Canterlot high. so she typed in "human hostility" on the computer. The computer responded with information.
"Human hostility originates in the early years of childhood. Children begin antagonizing each other because they want to fit in with their peers. This causes others to become hostile towards children who are different from them. Adults often view these events as normal behavior among young people, even though they may cause lasting damage to social relationships."
this was basic information Twilight already knew but all problems were solved eventually in their world how does humanity resolve conflict?
the Computer thought a moment. "Most conflicts occur between individuals, which is generally resolved by negotiation, mediation, or legal enforcement. However, many conflicts arise between groups, such as nations, ethnicities, religions, political parties, unions, and corporations. These types of disputes usually involve large numbers of people and require more complex solutions than those available to individual actors. In these cases, governments, courts, or other forms of official organizations typically intervene to resolve the dispute."
Legal enforcement? How does one solve conflict legally? She typed this on the computer.
"Legally enforced agreements are made under the authority of law, either civil or criminal. These agreements may be formalized into contracts, laws, rules, regulations, or policies. Legal enforcement refers to actions taken by government officials to enforce these agreements."
"They enforce it?" Twilight gasped.
"They enforce what?" asked Rainbow Dash coming out of the bathroom and heading out the door.
"Dash look at this! humanity can use the government to enforce their beliefs!"
"So what? That happens everywhere."
"Not here."
"What do you mean not here?"
"There's no governing body here. We're on our own."
"But what about Queen Celestia?"
"She's not involved in day-to-day affairs, she leaves that up to each town."
"Really?"
"Yeah, and she also has a lot of responsibilities for the whole empire."
"So what do we do if someone breaks the law?"
"well here, we try to come up with a solution and make friends."
"and... you believe those friends can be any creature?"
"if they want it, yes."
Rainbow dash turned around and stared at the door. "then can I ask you a question Twilight?"
"Sure."
"That one pony who... barked... Remember her? Didn't they send her somewhere?"
"To a hospital yes."
"But a special hospital right?"
"...yes."
"Why did they send her there?"
"because she had a mental disorder."
"What kind of disorder?"
"well... Shes... crazy."
"Doesn't friendship apply to her?"
"...No," replied Twilight Sparkle timidly.
"Why not? Is she not a pony like the rest of us?"
"she's an... animal."
"An animal like you?"
"no, she's..." Twilight paused realizing she couldn't tell Rainbow Dash everything without sounding rude.
"Is she worse off than any pony else?"
"well...."
"Then why shouldn't she be allowed to make friends with any pony?"
"Because she's an.... animal," Twilight repeated.
"We're animals too."
"yeah but-"
"Twilight, just give her a chance ok?" Rainbow Dash said.
"And why should I? she is not capable."
"You know what? You're wrong. I've known her since she came to Ponyville and I've never seen her act aggressively toward anyone ever. Even when she was trying to learn to talk she always tried her best to understand. She doesn't deserve to be treated badly because she's different."
"Dash what the heck? she is not in her right mind!"
"I don't care! She needs love and friendship just like everyone else. Don't judge her based on your preconceived notions."
"I will not allow her to walk around here acting like a dog!"
"Twilight stop arguing with me!"
Twilight sighed and walked over to the computer and typed "insane asylum". A few moments passed before the screen lit up again.
"A number of psychiatric hospitals exist throughout Earth. Most provide treatment for mentally ill people who cannot function in society. Some also offer limited services to humans suffering from severe psychological disorders."
"Insane... yes..."
"Dang, I didn't know Twilight..."
"you would probably have been better off knowing nothing." Twilight looked down in gloom.
"You didn't answer my question though... What happened to her?"
"That's... none of your business Dash, why do you care for her so much?"
"because she's.. unexpected... and I think I like that about her... so much so that I'm gonna find out where she is!" With that Rainbow dashed out of the room.
Twilight never even mentioned how becoming friends with someone insane was a bit far-fetched.
Twilight kept looking at human hostility on the computer and came upon riots and peaceful protests. The first thing she saw were images of police officers beating protesters with batons. It took all her self-control not to scream at them.
"WAR ".
"War?" Twilight said "what is war," she asked the computer.
"War is the armed conflict between nations or states, organized groups of people, or individuals, often with political objectives."
"Oh my gosh! What is happening?!" Twilight exclaimed as she continued scrolling through pictures. "This isn't right!" she cried. She read more and found herself getting angry. "How could they let something like this happen!?" she yelled.
"It appears that many countries are engaged in a series of wars across the world."
"They must be stopped!"
"Anything short of complete destruction of the governments involved will end these conflicts."
"Destruction!? NO HARMONY! let them reunite in harmony!"
she kept scrolling down "all this just for more territory? how did this all start?" she asked the computer.
"Political tension between major powers can cause war. In addition, there may be disputes over natural resources such as oil, water, and land."
Twilight looked at the screen in disbelief. How could this possibly happen? Why does no one stand up against this injustice?!
"Why are they doing this?" she asked the computer.
"Violence has existed for millennia. Soldiers fight to protect their nation, family, or friends."
"But why do they kill each other?"
"There are several reasons: revenge, domination, territorial gains, and ethnic cleansing."
"Ethnic Cleansing!? " Twilight shouted. "This is terrible!"
"nearly one hundred million people died during the First World War alone."
"THERE WAS A WORLD WAR? THE ENTIRE EARTH JUST WENT TO WAR?!" yelled Twilight.
"Twice" was the response from the computer.
"TWICE !? oh my goodness! This is horrible!" Twilight said softly.
She continued reading until she got to the part where she learned about nuclear bombs. Her eyes widened in shock as she realized that if those weapons fell into the wrong hands........
"NUCLEAR BOMBS!!" ughhhhhh!" she yelled in frustration.
She turned off the screen.
She had seen enough.
She laid down on the bed and stared blankly at the ceiling. She thought about everything she had just seen. Twilight knew that there were things in life that were worse than death but seeing innocent ponies being hurt made her question her role as princess of friendship. Then she started thinking about her own future. Would she grow old and die while watching innocent ponies suffer? If only she could help she thought as she stroked her tail to calm herself down.
Author's Note
real talk though, why are we fighting over land?
Ponies Versus the Internet
Celestia's visit (requested)
A rasping knock on the castle door echoed across the halls, and Twilight Sparkle happened to be inside the castle to answer it. "Princess?" said a familiar voice.
Twilight immediately knew who it was "CELESTIA? What are you doing here? don't you have your own providence to take care of?" She asked annoyed.
"No, my dear. I decided that I needed some time off." Celestia explained.
"What?! But we need you!"
Celestia sighed "Well, I'm sure Luna or someone else can handle things while I'm gone." she entered the castle walking in her metallic shoes. " I am most curious about this thing you call a computer."
"Oh... yeah..." Twilight stuttered.
"It seems very interesting, but I feel I'd rather experience it firsthand than through your letters."
"Yeah, I guess..."
"So tell me, Twilight. How does it work?"
"Um...."
Celestia was confused. "Twilight Sparkle why are you nervous? I thought sharing knowledge was your strong suit?"
"IT IS!" yelled Twilight quickly. "it's just I-I-I just need a minute to start it up... I-It will probably take a while! why don't you w-wait outside?"
Celestia raised an eyebrow "You are studdering Twilight."
Twilight gulped and started sweating internally. "Me? studder? I am well versed in the practical language arts!"
"Yes, yes. We both know that you're far more intelligent than that." Celestia chuckled. "So tell me, what are you hiding?"
"Nothing! Nothing at all!" Twilight insisted.
Celestia raised her other eyebrow. "Don't lie to me Twilight, what are you hiding? show me at once I command you!"
Twilight's face blushed hard, she could not defy an order "Y-yes mam" she stuttered her hoof slowly shaking onto the screen monitor, and slowly turning it on. on the screen monitor was a website called PornHub. Twilight face fell in the amount of embarrassment as she looked at all the nude male and female humans. But to her surprise, she did not see Celestia angry. instead, she saw her looking intently into the monitor. "so you are currently researching human procreation?" asked Celestia.
"And that would be?"
"Human sexuality."
"Interesting topic Indeed. so why do you hide this?"
"Humans think public nudity and public display is vulgar."
"Twilight Sparkle we are both on public display for as long as we have known each other, I do not think this vulgar."
"Neither do I!"
"Then what is the problem Twilight?"
"Because humanity can look into our world and will write about everything we do. They will again fight over each other over silly things that are no problem to us."
"What do we do then?" asked Celestia
Twilight sniffed. "its too late... they are probably writing about this right now, and chaos will begin again."
"Chaos? What kind of chaos?"
"They'll make fun of us, say how disgusting we are with their bodies, talk bad about our culture, and worst of all, they'll try to create petitions to try and change the story."
"Change the story? Change how you were created. Do you mean like changing the fact that you we exist? Is there anything wrong with being who you are?"
"No, nothing at all... but if they find out that we exist, they might get... ideas."
"such as?"
"Some people believe that ponies should only be seen by humans and never interact with them, or even worse, interbreed with them."
"I must admit that sounds horrifyingly repulsive."
Twilight closed the screen. "we are a doomed pony race.. they already want to change the story we told and even write fiction about how we are all sluts... what can we do?"
"There is nothing we can do, but continue on. creatures may see us differently, but they still respect us. Even those who have different beliefs from ours recognize our intelligence and loyalty. and as you said once before twilight, 'the cloppers do not represent the entire race.' think of the good we are causing."
Twilight hugged Celestia "Thanks for that, I needed to hear that again."
"Anytime my friend." Celestia smiled. "now as for the reason I'm really here has probably been forgoten, as I need your device for research myself"
Twilight looked up, "You!?"
"Don't look so surprised dearie, as old as I am, I still do not know everything."
"What would you like to know?" asked Twilight
"Politics, particularly how humanity handles such things."
Twilight began typing on the computer.
the computer responded, "Welcome back twi, what would you like to search?"
"human political system...."
"Okay, searching results: Human Political System. Please wait while your query is processed."
"It seems CNN has a lot of subject concerning this matter" retorted Celestia.
"So does Fox News." said Twilight.
"Hmm, well let's take a closer look at these results shall we?"
"Sure thing."
Celestia watched as the computer scrolled through the results. When it reached the first result, Celestia clicked the link and read 'politics is the activities associated with the governance of a country or other area, especially the debate or conflict among individuals or parties having or hoping to achieve powerbroken'
one was written by a professor named Cleatus
Celestia was intrigued by his words. She thought had heard of him before, but after a few clicks she realised that the man was renowned for his knowledge of natural laws and how they apply to society. He was often consulted by politicians seeking advice regarding policy decisions made within their respective countries.
She continued reading the rest of the page, where she found several links to articles written by Dr. Cleatus himself.
Celestia turned her head to face Twilight. "what is it?"
"This man knows his stuff, he also writes very well and clearly. but we shouldn't rely on one human for all the answers."
Twilight went back to the search page of politics and selected a different link. It took her to an article titled 'Political Chaos'
"'political chaos' indeed. This country is going downhill fast. Why should anyone bother with voting anymore when no candidate will ever be elected president without taking bribes from both sides of the aisle? And then there is the problem of lobbyists influencing congressmen into making stupid legislation instead of doing what's right for the American People. All this corruption makes me wonder if any politician actually cares about anything other than lining their own pockets!"
Celestia felt herself nodding along to what Professor Zebhirum had to say. Perhaps she could trust this man too.
Celestia logged off the computer and put away the mouse.
"No problem princess," replied Twilight.
"You're welcome."
They stood in silence for a moment, contemplating each other's thoughts.
Then suddenly Celestia looked up and exclaimed "Oh my stars, it's so beautiful out here!"
"It truly is breathtaking," remarked Celestia.
"Indeed it is." agreed Twilight.
Suddenly another idea popped into Celestia's head.
"Hey Twilight? How did you get those sunglasses?"
"I bought them."
"You didn't steal them or something?"
"Of course not. I paid for them."
"Where?"
"At a store called Sunglass Hut."
"Sunglass hut... never...
2022-10-21 15:46:07.211962: W external/org_tensorflow/tensorflow/compiler/xla/equine/tpu_driver/client/tpu_client.cc:618] TPU Execute is taking a long time. This might be due to a deadlock between multiple TPU cores or a very slow program.
INFO | __main__:do_connect:3502 - Client failed
WARNING | __main__:inlineedit:5695 - Attempted to edit chunk 156
WARNING | __main__:inlinedelete:5723 - Attempted to delete chunk 156
server halt with message:ERROR:engineio.server cannot be occupied by two entities of same IP
keyboard interrupt request: KEYBOARD INTERRUPT REQUEST
server halt with exception code: EXCEPTION CODE = 0xc0000001
and error log entry: ERROR LOG ENTRY:
Error: EngineIO server cannot be occupied by two entities of the same IP number.
Please close your browser.
Author's Note
I'm not running python what are you talking about?
Ponies Versus the Internet
```
Found TPU...
--2022-10-23 04:27:26--
Resolving .... 104.21.21.176, 172.67.199.170, 2606:4700:3036::ac43:c7aa, ...
Connecting .... 104.21.21.176|:443... Connected.
HTTP request sent, awaiting response... 302 Moved Temporarily
Resolving... 185.199.110.133, 185.199.109.133, 185.199.111.133, ...
Connecting ...185.199.110.133|:443... Connected.
HTTP request sent, awaiting response... 200 OK
Length: 6088 (5.9K)
Saving...
Downloading: 100%|█████████████████████████████████████████████████|
INIT | Starting | LUA bridge
INIT | OK | LUA bridge
Connected to live feed.
```
Discord was bored.
He had flown, teleported, swam, and even eaten his way through all eight dimensions he knew. He had examined every planet that lay within a thousand light years of Equestria. He had seen it all. He created it all, but mostly in particular he was board because he wasn't allowed to create chaos anymore.
He hadn't created much good either, but at least he'd been able to fix his friendship with Fluttershy. That made him feel better.
But nothing would make him happier than creating some real badness. Just one world full of discordant inhabitants who were constantly bickering amongst themselves. One place where people couldn't agree on anything. Where they fought constantly over trivial matters while ignoring major problems completely. A dark, foreboding place where everyone was miserable and angry, And most importantly, the perfect place for Discord himself! That's where he really needed to be, a place where stories made no sense. A place where everything was broken beyond repair. The perfect place, the only place he wanted to be.
He thought he might have enough skill left to create one more alternate reality without disturbing the others. He still might indeed remember the old magic from long ago. Discord cracked his knuckles and be can to figit his fingers. But then he stopped and shrugged his shoulders. Shure a Discord Dimension sounded fun in theory, but then he would loose interest after three thousand years or so. He wanted adventure. Something he didn't have to plan. But unfortunately ponies do not share his sense of enjoyment like he did.
So what could he do for that? He thought to himself. He kept snapping his fingers dully teleporting from one location to another. Upon his many snaps of teleportation out of boredom he found himself in Twilights Castle. She was sitting there reading a book. When he appeared next to her. "Pardon for the intrusion, Your Highness," said Discord as he sat down next to her. "Discord please stop startling ponies like that." She scowled at him.
"Okay..." replied Discord. "What are you doing here anyway?"
"Reading a book. About computers, particularly this one." she motioned to a nearby bookcase filled with books. "I'm trying to understand them."
"Really? Why?" asked Discord.
Twilight sighed. "Because I want to know how to get the most out of my research for humanity."
"Your researching your research?" scoffed Discord "ladies and gentleman!" he cries sarcastically "meet the paradoxical Twilight in her humble habitat." Discord pointed at her.
Twilight rolled her eyes. "What do you want discord? I am rather busy here."
"Honestly?" answered Discord. "Nothing. I just felt like popping into the castle for a visit. You see, i am now bored again... Very bored actually. I need a new project to occupy me. Something of true entertainment and personal enjoyment"
"I won't be your chaos doll again Discord." She stated firmly.
"Just one game please?"
"No thanks." she shook her head. "I don't think so sir. If you're going to bother me, you'll have to find someone else to torment."
Discord sighs. "Twilight does that book even have a way to generate something random? Something bizarre?"
"Discord computers are not....." she stopped her self twitching her head a bit. "Huh... Why do they call it random access memory... Is it... Possible to generate something random? Maybe... Hmmm interesting... Yes... Yes... Let us try that... Yes... I believe we shall succeed... Wow... Oh dear Celestia.. Discord... What an idea!" she exclaimed as she went to the keyboard and started writing code. "This shell program known as python has been on my studies as of late. But i didn't like the command context so i made my own shell code and called it equine."
"Oh goodie... I'm going to sit here and pretend to know what that means." remarked Discord. He pulled up a chair and watched Twilight work.
Twilight tore across her hoofs across the key board adding one line of code to another. "I am going to create a program that will take good literature from human written books and then randomly select words from each sentence. It should also use a small amount of random numbers generated inside the computer itself to make things more exciting."
"Twilight i applaud your knowledge but i thumbs down your attempt. Humans can write quite well and sometimes they say odd things too. Its hard enough to tell what's coming next without having every word read aloud. Besides, who wants to see a bunch of words coming from a program?"
"You would be surprised..." responded Twilight.
"Well lets give it a shot! I mean hey its worth a try right?"
"Yes but I am afraid you will be disappointed once again."
"Why?"
"Because it wont generate anything that resembles what humans wrote or spoke before. It will simply generate gibberish. Nothing coherent no matter how much random words you add together."
Discord shrugged and snorted. "So what now?"
"We give it training data."
"Training data?"
"Yes. You see, when a machine learns something, it needs examples to teach it. And i think we have nine years of stories from the My Little Pony Wikis, however i will need to tell the story in second person so its sounds more coherent. Which might be difficult since you tend to speak in third person. But ill try my best."
"Goody! I'm excited to hear this." said Discord as he rubbed his chin. pretending to care.
Twilight ran the program and fidgeted nervously waiting for the generated text. After several minutes passed, she was finally able to read the result.
"What did you get?" asked Discord.
"Well it seems to have worked perfectly. The first part reads exactly like you told it to. 'Once upon a time there lived a pony named Fluttershy.' However the rest is all nonsense. There is no proper grammar structure at all. And after reading it three times through, I still cannot understand any of it."
"Hmm... Alright, well i guess that's okay. I suppose it could be worse. You tried though, that counts for something."
"Yeah... Sorta wait! I got it! Let me see if I can form of a grammatical structure biased on past context." after writing more code she hit the generate button again. Only this time coherent sentences came out.
"Once upon a time there lived a pony named Fluttershy
"Some story, no Brony would ever read that." Discord said disapprovingly. "What the story needs is chaos!"
"How do i achieve that?"
"You don't do it. Ill do it" he said misdoing his hands as the keyboard lifted high into the air above him.
"But.."
"No buts! Just sit here and watch while i do everything myself!"
With that, Discord began typing madly. To the tune of betokens 5th symphony.
"Chocolate pudding streams poured out from behind the candy cane trees
"I think I am done." said Discord.
"Hmmmmm.... Hmmmmmmmmm.... Well i suppose you don't look board anymore i could save this model as a discord fanfiction generation program."
"YES! YES YOU SHOULD DO THAT NOW!" shouted Discord "but i want to do better... I want it to rule over my new dimension."
"Okay, fine..."
"Wait really?"
"Yeah go for it"
"Twilight i thought you would... I don't know... TRY to stop me."
"Why? Its not like your going to hurt anyone or anything right? Its your own dimension. And it sounds like you are going to have a lot of fun there. It would entertain you and it would get me back to my normal studies. It is a win on both counts."
"You sure?"
"Yep, so go ahead."
So Discord created a brand new reality. It was called "Discord.ai". It was a place run by a pure random chaos. And it entertained discord for aeons.
Author's Note
This honestly sounds like a fun story to write ill link it here if I ever decide to do so.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/525491/discordai
Ponies Versus the Internet
Applejack learns about the automobile
"Hey Applejack how's it hanging?" Rainbow dash asked from the lone computer in which he played a Forza Horizon 5. A car free-range racing game. She had just heard Apple jack opening up the door
Applejack collapsed on the couch head first "Im, as tired as a mule after a day of plowing field!" She, said as she rubbed her forehead.
"Well im sure you'll feel better after a nap." Rainbow Dash replied.
Applejack nodded her head vigorously "Yea, I Know I will." she stretched herself many times making various cracking sounds.
Rainbow Dash started to play on the computer again. He was trying to beat his unbeatable opponants on the series of races that he been playing for hours.
Applejack got up and walked over to the fridge, looking inside, she found a carton of milk, she opened it and drank it quickly. "Man, Im gonna need another drink soon." She said.
Rainbow Dash looked over at her and smiled "Want some apple juice?"
"That supposed to be funny?" asked Applejack.
"Oh yeah, sorry." said Rainbow Dash blushing.
Applejack peered over Dashs' shoulder to watch him play. He was driving a red Lamborghini Murcielago LP640.(not that would mean anything to a pony) She drove for a couple minutes, doing stunts and drifting around corners and finished with a sub-second time. "Dang, it point ten of a seconds too slow! Exclaims Rainbow Dash."Well, you're still pretty good at it... Whatever it is." said Applejack
"Thanks, I'm glad you think so." said Rainbow Dash.
"Ever wonder what that contraption even is?" asked Applejack.
Rainbow Dash shrugged "no, not really. Why do you ask?"
"I'm just curious, I guess." said Applejack.
Applejack looked over at him "What are you doing?"
"Nothing important, just saving my game for later." said Rainbow Dash. "aaaaand done!" he said as he saved the game.
"Now what?" asked Applejack.
"Now we search the human internet to see about what this contraption is," said Rainbow Dash excitedly.
"Oh boy, here we go again," said Applejack as she rolled her eyes.
"Common this will be fun," said Rainbow Dash.
"We shall see!" said Applejack as she grabbed the keyboard.
"Alright! Let's get started!" said Rainbow Dash.
"This is gonna take forever!" said Applejack.
Rainbow Dash scrolled through the web page for the longest time until he came across something that caught his eye: "Lamborghini Murcielago LP 640 for sale on eBay."
"Yeah but what is it?" asked Applejack.
"It's a car!" said Rainbow Dash.
"But what does it do?" asked Applejack.
"It goes fast and it looks cool," said Rainbow Dash.
"But what makes it special?"
"Here is a video about it let's watch! "Said Rainbow Dash.
He clicked on the link and watched the video. It showed a man in a black suit driving the car around a track. The vid went on for a few more minutes showing him driving the car around different tracks including muddy ones.
"So what do you think?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Who the heck is Ken Block?" Asked Applejack.
"I don't know who he is either, but I bet he has a lot of money because he drives this thing everywhere!" said Rainbow Dash.
"You could make an awesome business out of it!" said Rainbow Dash.
"Hmm..." said Applejack. She types in about vehicles that can work fields into google.
A couple of seconds later there is a list of websites. Rainbow Dash clicks on one of them and reads the description. "Farmers, ranchers, and agricultural workers, you have come to the right place! We sell farm equipment and machinery that can help you plow your fields, harvest crops, and turn soil for planting."
"Yeah, but what is it?"
"It's called a tractor."
"Any idea on how to build something like that?" asked Applejack.
"Nope!" said Rainbow Dash.
"Well I guess we should look online for instructions then," said Applejack.
"Yeah!" said Rainbow Dash.
They both logged onto the internet and searched for information about building a tractor. They looked at videos, and pictures, and read articles. After a while they finally found something.
"Here it is!" said Rainbow Dash.
"That there looks as complicated as zap apple season!" said Applejack.
"That is a very complex machine." Said Rainbow Dash.
"Yeah but it looks pretty easy to build!" said Applejack.
"I wouldn't count on it!" said Rainbow Dash.
"Hey, maybe we could make our own racecar instead!" said Applejack.
"That would be way better than a tractor!" said Rainbow Dash.
"Anything that can go fast has to be better... Why do humans make things complicated?" said Applejack.
"Don't ask me" said Rainbow Dash.
"Let's look it up," said Applejack typing "why are humans complicated?" into the computer.
A few seconds later there is a long list of sites. Rainbow Dash clicks on one of them and reads the description. "Humans are complicated because they have a great capacity for learning and creativity, and they have the drive to survive and thrive. Their bodies adapt to their environment, and so do their minds, which means that they learn quickly and their minds can develop new ideas and concepts. Humans have also learned ways to communicate with each other, and this allows them to share knowledge, experiences, and emotions with others."
"Wow, that's deep!" said Rainbow Dash.
"Yeah, it's interesting isn't it?" said Applejack.
"If we put our heads together we might be able to figure out how to make something like this!" said Rainbow Dash.
"Can't wait!" said Applejack
***
The day came,
the race car was fully built and the plow was right in tow. Applejack was about to start it up when dash arrived
"This is so awsome!" he exclaimed
"I know! To build something from the human world is exciting!"
"Now you know how I felt!" input Twilight Sparkle who was also there.
"We got everything ready for the big plow!" said Rainbow Dash.
"I'm ready to kick some mud!!" said Applejack.
She starts the engine with a loud roar covering the entirety of Ponyville
Rainbow had her ears plugged with her hoves" did you really have straight pipe it?" she asked.
"Yes I did!" said Applejack.
Applejack pulls out from the barn and cruises to the ready and waiting field the plow dragging behind it creating sparks.
"This is going to be fun!" she says.
Applejack takes off and begins to plow through the field as fast as she can.... For about 120 feet.
Applejack revs trying to move forward but the tires just spin in the mud. She puts the car in neutral.
"Should have gone with the tractor," she said yelling.
Ponies Versus the Internet
Discord Flashed back in the tower, "Twilight!" he called, hoping to reach her.
"What?" Twilight shouted back to him as she walked through the castle doors. I thought you were in your discord dimension?
"I was, it was glorious! I was being attacked by ninja turtles!"
"Were they teenaged?"
"Twilight I already did that joke, its not funny any more."
Twilight sat down in front of a computer. She put on glasses and began typing away furiously.
"Hey Twilight, are there any OTHER training data you could import into Discord.ai?"
"What do you mean? I'm only working with what I have now."
"Yeah but it's kind of slow going if we're stuck with my old code base."
"It will create unlimited amount of pony stories whats the problem?" asked Twilight
"maybe search the... what do you call it... wiki and see what other stories you can add as ponies?"
Twilight began to browse the internet, "Wikipedia is kind of broad to do in one sitting... however Discord has a lot of story topics."
"I have stories?"
"No, I said Discord" said Twilight.
"That's what I said."
"Um... discord is a social app."
"Oh now I'm a social app?" Discord asked.
Twilight took a deep breath "There is a social site where people can make custom profiles, and talk to other people." She said slowly. "That's a social site."
"ok I'm following so far..." said Discord
"They talk about games, story lore and generally hang out." She said. "That's what the social site does."
"ok does it have a name?"
"Discord."
"What?" Discord asked confused. "WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME, IM RIGHT HERE!"
"It Called Discord"
"I know its called Twilight I believe you but what is the name?"
"ITS DISCORD!"
"YES IM RIGHT HERE! WHAT. DO. YOU. WANT?" Discord bellowed in anger. "I JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHAT THE NAME OF THAT GOSH DARNED SOCIAL NETWORK CALLED!"
Twilight face hoofed and typed in the Discord app on the computer. It loaded up with a login screen. She typed in her name.... and password... Twilight's profile appeared on screen. It had a picture of her, her name, the discord app appeared next to it with a little blue triangle, a description of her as a unicorn-Pegasus hybrid and some other info about her age and where she lived. She had no other contacts or anything else on her page.
Discord the draconequess looked with his mouth agape. "well that's inconvenient. there is a social website named after me, I'm going to have to find out how to log in..." however Discord cannot login to Discord due to recursive name and he couldn't sign in. He could not figure out how to get onto the site.
"alright i didn't really want to open a social website anyway I just want the story data.... Hey Twilight are those suggested games that have stories?"
Twilight thought for a moment "yeah there is a section called 'featured stories' its in the corner, it looks like it shows you popular stories and stuff"
Discord looked around trying to find the button, he found it and clicked on it. Twilight watched as it showed Discord a list of stories. Fallout! Among us! Kingdom hearts! oh! Those do look interesting, add them to the training data.
Twilight ran over to the computer and got a little closer to see what was going on. "Oh hey, this is cool!"
"What is?" Discord asked
"Apparently there is a site where you can post stories about pony fiction... "FimFiction" its called. You should go check it out sometime when you finish updating Discord.ai"
"Why would I ever want to do that?" Discord asked.
"Well, it has lots of stories about pony characters. And you can write your own stories too."
"You think we can add those as well to the training data?"
"I think so... however I think the moderators wont be happy if we used other peoples paragraphs and made them our own"
"aww common Twily... Whats the worst that can happen?"
Moderation has deleted the rest of this chapter
Author's Note
well that escalated quickly
Ponies Versus the Internet
Twilight Sparkle was as usual researching the human race, curious on what they did.
Today however she was scrolling thru a type of website known as social media. it was a way for humans to communicate their interests in small boxes, with no text box as special as the other. but as she was scrolling she found herself looking at herself not the real self but a very close representation in cartoon format. she was curious and explored the hashtags #MLPFiM and #MyLittlePony. What she saw shocked her.
there were her friends with cartooned looks and names like Twilightsprinkle ponysparkle, Applejack Applejacksparrow, Fluttershe, and many more. there were also some other pony-related things such as plush toys, clothes, music, books, movies, etc. Some people even made fan comics or fan games based on a tv show itself. every single thing was tagged under either #mylittlepony or #mlpg4.
At first, Twilight was taken aback, seeing the story of their lives taking place in cartoon format, it also had the lessons that Twilight had once shared in her written book. It showed them growing up together through adventures, fun, and friendship.
She felt betrayed. She was sad that these people knew everything about her life. And worst of all she wasn't sure if she liked them anymore.
But as far as they knew she only existed in the show. They weren't aware that she was an actual pony. So maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all? she dug deeper and found out that all humans liked the show so much they made an annual gathering in various places just to talk about the show and its great storyline, these people were known as bronies.
As Twilight continued surfing the internet she came across another interesting topic; the brony fandom. The term was originally used to describe the fans of a certain television show called my little pony, but soon began to encompass anything relating to ponies. When it started gaining popularity among adults the name changed to Bronies. There were two types of bronies, the normal kind, and the creepy perverted kind.
There was a lot of information online about both groups, usually filled with hate comments towards the former group. Most of the hatred stemmed from the fact that adult men watched a children's TV show. However, others argued that since the original target audience was girls why should a grown man watch it when he can go watch porn instead? Twilight Sparkle paused at this blushing furiously.
but she had a rehash of what she read, apparently, women weren't the only ones appreciating the show! Nowadays almost anyone over the age of twelve could appreciate the show for what it truly was; A kids' show that teaches valuable lessons about tolerance and acceptance. Well, mostly the latter.
What is wrong with watching kid cartoons anyway? Granted video games were sometimes more interactive, but Twilight taught friendship which bronies seem to enjoy. The disgusting cloppers do not represent the entire fandom either, most are genuinely nice people who respect their community and each other.
Upon thinking this Twilight was reminded of the protest she was giving after sending out her book to the world. it wasn't them she was trying to teach, it was a friendship that she wanted to teach. seeing such a community bond over a show that taught friendship. this indeed was worth bonding over, because without trying to make friends, you just will be sad all your days.
Twilight scrolled to the top and read it again, thinking of her pony kind in its stead. come to think of it she did know of a clopper in her circle as well. and just like in the fandom, she did not represent the entirety of pony kind, and having such a thought would be it's like saying humans like to watch porn so everyone is a pornoholic, which made no logical sense. Twilight took a royal parchment and started to write on it.
Dear Princess Celestia,
as soon as she folded the finished letter, Twilight sent it in a puff of smoke. She smiled as she turned off the computer.
another puff of smoke integrated a folded letter beside her, it was a royal parchment signifying to Twilight that Celestia wrote back. she quickly opened the letter and read the response.
"I still want to know where babies come from - Pinkie Pie"
Author's Note
This may be the end of the book
Ponies Versus the Internet
Due to communication sensitivity, this story has been labeled as revoked.
Sorry.
Please understand, Opaline must never find Twilight Sparkle.
E R R O R
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Twilight entered the castle hallways. They were empty now... full of cobwebs and neglect, the auburn sunset outside shone brightly illuminating the hallway. The ground was no longer clean, it was covered with dust and echoes of old memories. She walked down the corridor slowly as she looked around. Chairs covered with loneliness sat against the walls. Some of them were broken beyond repair. Others were half eaten by whatever critters made their homes within the building.
A distant memory was all that remained in sight; the sound of laughter echoing throughout the mind of the distant past.
It was only her.
Only Twilight Sparkle, the alicorn of Magic, of Friendship.
Well she used to be anyway.
Friendship was magic but if your friends were all gone what magic is left?
She felt in her heart they were still here, even now she can still hear them. The laughter, the fellowship and even now Twilight saw the shadows of where her friends used to be. She remembered what they sounded like, yet could not hear their words. She remembered how they laughed together, and how they cried when they lost Granny Smith. The echoes were inviting yet somewhat haunting at the same time.
But why did these shadows linger? Why were they calling to her? The voices were louder pointing and Twilight followed with sadness following her footsteps.
She reached the end of the dark tunnel. Before her lay an open door leading to a bright white room. Inside stood a large machine. She cast her book bag aside and walked up to it.
It was the old computer that Twilight set up a long time ago. It was caked with dust and cob webs. The lights glowed dimly through the cracks between the boards.
Twilight had no idea what she was doing, she turned on the screen and it roared to life... and she sat there staring at the flashing search button.
There was literally nothing left of Equestria. What was left to learn of the human world? And who would you teach when you were the only pony left? She remembered it all. The the struggle against Opalines elements against her elements of harmony. The giant rainbow boom that covered the land with light radiation to destroy every creature and the elements.
Twilight slammed her hooves against the hard wood with tears in her eyes and screamed. "Empty chairs and empty table throughout Equestria! and its my fault!
I'm sorry Rainbow Dash,
Fluttershy,
Applejack,
Rarity
Pinkie Pie!
What have i done? I am responsible for everything! I should never have been born! Please forgive me! Please! Oh God, oh God!" she cried as she pounded the desk violently. "Why should I bother living anymore? I literally killed you all! All of you! And I couldn't save any creature because I didn't know enough about magic! Oh gods! I failed you! I failed you all! I've ruined everything! Everything! IT'S ALL RUINED!" she sobbed as she wept uncontrollably. Her head hung low as her body shook.
She looked at the computer. The glow was very telling on her face. She typed on the keyboard "how to grow from a fallout" then pressed enter. The computer began to churn out responses from the other human world.
How to survive after the apocalypse:
If you must leave your shelter during the day, wear protective gear such as goggles, gloves, and masks. Make sure you take care of your pets and livestock. They depend on you.
Stay hydrated, eat food that's safe to eat (but look for signs) and drink water. Get medical attention if needed.
Don't panic. Being scared makes it harder to think clearly. Take deep breaths. Talk to someone. Call for help.
Twilight teared up again "call for help..." she muttered "there is no one left to call for help." she stared into space as another tear rolled down her cheek.
She retyped in the inquiry "how to get pregnant when your by yourself?"
The computer replied "females can inject themselves with male sperm sometimes to get pregnant. also artificial insemination works well. some females produce eggs without ovulation so those can be harvested." Twilight shivered. it was unfortunate she would have to somehow find enough male sperm in the wasteland.
She tapped her hooves on the wood in thought. and then typed "New MLP episodes " in the search engine.
She found a few results. One show called "sonic rainboom" A second result was about Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rarity. Apparently they rode around singing songs about friendship. The last entry was titled "My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic". She clicked on this link and read the synopsis.
Twilight sighed softly and watched the trailer.
She stared at the channel that broadcast the episodes and saw it ping right before her eyes. It was a new video. "That's odd" Twilight mumbled under her breath. She clicked on the link which was a trailer to "My Little Pony: A New Generation"
Twilight rubbed her eyes in disbelief "There is nothing left Humans! WHY IS THERE A CONTINUATION OF THE STORY? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" she yelled at the screen.
She clicked the play button and watched. A narration reached her ears. "Once upon a time, ponies, pegasi and unicorns all lived in harmony..."
The trailer continued showing a pony Twilight was not familiar with named Sunny Starscout. She watched the trailer over and over and over again...what did it mean? Was this the future of ponies? How? Were these ponies going to become her replacement? More importantly why were there only five elements? Where was the other?
She tapped her hooves. Humans had always kept track of her whether it was private or not.
She was convinced, this was the future. This was what was going to happen. Humanity had always kept a record of her existence. Thus it was settled, there was hope after all. Maybe ponies weren't completely gone yet. She would have to give birth in this wild wasteland. It wouldn't be easy but she could do it. She was tired of being alone.
She stood up and walked towards the door. She was going to find male pony remains and would start looking east, hopefully they would have enough sperm to make said generation. But before she left, she tapped a local broken crystal and made it record her image "If you are seeing this, magic is now more powerful then its ever been..."
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Author's Note
another ending