Will I Be Able To Move On?
This routine was getting dull for Spike.
For a while now, Starlight Glimmer had gained some feelings for his big sister figure Twilight Sparkle, she was giving not so subtle teases towards the alicorn, it was nothing too bad of course. Starlight knew enough about boundaries to make sure she wasn’t assaulting Twilight, that wasn’t what Spike had a problem with.
No. What his problem was is that Twilight is either being really oblivious to how Starlight’s flirting with her or doesn’t even seem to acknowledge them for whatever reason.
Right now, he was heading towards Starlight’s room, the unicorn clearly needed some creature to help her. And it had to be him.
What he was greeted to when he opened the door to the room was Starlight lying on her bed aimlessly staring at the ceiling.
“Honestly, I’m just glad you’re not eating ice cream out of the carton like Rarity does when she’s sad.” Spike sighed with a bit of relief but still sympathetic.
“What am I doing wrong?” Starlight asked sadly, “I could swear Twilight might feel the same way about me, but either she doesn’t know about my feelings or… she doesn’t feel the same way.”
Starlight sighed and spoke up again, “Spike, am I doing anything bad? Did I make Twilight uncomfortable, or am I not being clear enough?”
Spike was quick to speak up once Starlight was finished, “I don’t think so. You’re being way too obvious about how you feel, and even if she’s uncomfortable she should make it clear, I didn’t see much discomfort in her.”
“I guess that’s a fair point.” Starlight admitted reluctantly, “But I wonder what’s going on with Twilight. She isn’t normally so oblivious, what am I missing?”
Spike also had to wonder what was going on with this whole situation, Twilight is much smarter than this. She even caught onto his feelings for Rarity, sure they were probably poorly hidden but she still knew he had them. But now she was seemingly very unaware of how Starlight felt about her. I mean, I’m pretty sure leaning next to someone, sending winks, and flirting not so vaguely would tip somepony off, especially Twilight.
Spike was beginning to get suspicious, what was Twilight doing?
“Starlight. I’m gonna go talk to Twilight about this. Stay here and I’ll be right back.” Spike told the unicorn, before he even spread his wings to fly out, Starlight closed the door with her magic and then teleported in front of Spike.
“No Spike. You can’t tell Twilight about my crush on her. I want to tell her myself, it’ll feel more rewarding.” Starlight pleaded.
“Trust me, I’ll find a way to talk to Twilight without having to mention you have a crush on her. Just trust me on this. No offense, but you still seem a little too upset right now.” Spike spoke calmly, to ease Starlight’s worries, she looked nervously at the door and asked, “You promise?”
“I promise. I’ll try my best to help you without exposing you.” Spike smiled reassuringly.
“Okay…. I guess it wouldn’t hurt. I’ll try and pull myself together by taking a nap or something.” Starlight opened the door for Spike before she laid back on her bed, with a much more calm expression, but it was still dull. Spike figured it was an improvement.
He soon began flying around the castle to get to Twilight’s room, when suddenly a flash of purple bumped into him, causing him to fall on his back and rub his forehead in pain while clenching his eyes shut.
“Oh… sorry Spike.” A familiar voice said, Spike didn’t need to open his eyes to know who it was.
Once he finally opened his eyes, he saw Twilight offering him a hoof, which he accepted and stood back up.
“I was actually looking for you.” Twilight smiled, seemingly nervous, “You see, I have this dilemma. I noticed one of our friends have been acting weird lately.”
Spike’s eyes lit up, and it all became clear, there was no doubt now.
“Oh really?” Spike asked, pretending to be curious and concerned, “Who is it? Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Starlight, Fluttershy, Discord, Celestia, Rarity, Starlight, Pinkie Pie, Luna…”
“Spike you said Starlight twice.” Twilight raised an eyebrow, seeming to sweat a bit.
“Oh did I?” Spike asked as he raised an eyebrow suspiciously as he smiled in a seemingly joking matter, “Silly me. But while we’re on the topic, is it Starlight? I mean, I wouldn’t know but I’m not sure.”
Twilight sighed and spoke sadly, “You know about Starlight’s feelings for me don’t you?”
‘I knew it.’
“Pretty hard not to figure it out.” Spike said, allowing a bit of anger to show in his voice, “I just had to reassure Starlight that I would talk to you about this because you’re confusing her.”
“Yeah… that’s kinda why I wanted to talk to you.” Twilight told the dragon solemnly.
“Twilight, it’s simple. Just let her down easily if you’re not interested.” Spike said sternly, “This isn’t rocket science.”
“It’s not that.” Twilight breathed out a sigh.
Spike’s eyes widened a bit, he kinda was not expecting for Twilight to feel the same way about Starlight.
“Then… why not tell her?” Spike asked with a calmer tone, “You know she feels the same way.”
“Because I’m not sure I can deal with the pain of losing her when she’s gone.” Twilight admitted, tears threatening to brim from her eyes.
“Oh…” Spike spoke in realization before smiling reassuringly and flying towards Twilight so they were at eye level, “You know, dragons like me also have long lifespans too. And so does Discord. Heck the princesses and changelings also have pretty long lifespans. You’re not alone in that regard, you’ll still have creatures there for you.”
“That’s not the point.” Twilight said angrily before she went back to her sad state and began tearing up, “I can deal with losing our friends eventually, I can always make new ones and cherish the memories I had with them even if it hurts but losing a lover is way more different for me Spike. I can’t just REPLACE Starlight when she eventually d…d… you know what I mean. It feels so wrong to replace someone who you love and it’ll be too painful for me to lose her. And before you bring up Cadence, she’s stronger than I am. She might be able to handle losing Shining Armor, but I’m not sure I can do the same with Starlight.”
Spike figured Twilight wouldn’t be able to finish that sentence so he interrupted, “You don’t have to replace Starlight though. Like you said with our friends, you can always cherish the memories you have with her if you ever decide to go out with somepony again.”
“Again, there’s a difference. My love should only be for one creature, you can’t get a new lover like you can for a friend. Love is something more deep and personal than friendship. Even I knew that before I moved to Ponyville.” Twilight argued sadly as she wiped her eyes.
“So what?” Spike asked with a shrug and spoke determinedly, “You can still be with Starlight, and you don’t have to date another pony in your long lifetime. Love is something that’s not easy to fulfill like friendship, that is true but trust me, when Starlight does eventually leave this world, you will eventually move on and be able to cherish the time you have with her. And even then, if you do end up deciding to date someone when Starlight’s passed, that doesn’t mean she no longer has an impact on your life.”
Twilight’s eyes widened, Spike assumed Twilight was beginning to consider his argument. Soon Twilight snapped out of her daze and spoke up with a smile, “Thanks Spike. Sometimes even the Princess Of Friendship needs advice.”
“To be fair, Friendship is kinda different from Love, kinda of course.” Spike smirked back, and soon he and Twilight shared a hug before Twilight frowned in realization.
“Starlight’s still upset. Isn’t she?” Twilight asked sadly.
“Yeah. But it’s not too late to set things right. She’s not upset with you and she’s calming herself down right now. Come on, I’ll support you on this.” Spike smiled as he and Twilight flew towards Starlight’s room, the dragon at ease, now knowing things might be easier now that Twilight’s worries are starting to fade.
Author's Note
I felt like Twilight could have this type of crisis when she considers the possibility of dating someone with a shorter lifespan than her’s(I don’t think she’s immortal, I’ve been told the creators say she isn’t and I prefer that tbh).
Though of course, she might not when she considers Cadence and Shining Armor but it’s a possiblity.
We’ll get to Twilight and Starlight next chapter. I feel this chapter went on long enough.
Will I Be Able To Move On?
Twilight was currently facing the door to Starlight’s room. She was a little nervous if she was being honest.
‘I mean, how do you explain to somepony you were ignoring their affections on purpose?’
Though she looked behind her to Spike giving her two thumbs up, which caused her to smile warmly, she could do this.
Twilight knocked on the door to the room, and waited for a bit, kinda anxious if she was being honest.
Finally the door opened and Starlight came out with a yawn, she was probably napping, Twilight supposed that was fair.
“Oh hey Twilight.” Starlight smiled kindly, once she saw who was there.
Starlight also seemed to notice Spike was there as well and her eyes widened a bit and she began to sweat a bit, “So… how come you’re here?”
“Starlight, no need to worry. I already know you have feelings for me.” Twilight said calmly.
“What the- Spike, did you tell her?! I told you I was supposed to do it.” Starlight turned to the dragon with an annoyed frown.
“I didn’t, trust me Starlight.” Spike waved his hands in defense, “I suspected Twilight knew of your feelings for her, so I just had her admit it, but that’s all I did.”
“It’s true. He didn’t say anything about it until I made it clear I knew.” Twilight confirmed, she wouldn’t let Starlight get upset with Spike, it was her fault anyway.
“Oh, sorry about that Spike, just wanted to make sure.” Starlight looked remorsefully at the dragon before looking at Twilight with a frown, “Wait. You knew about my feelings for you and you didn’t say anything?” Starlight asked, a bit hurt by what she now knew. Twilight really couldn’t blame her for feeling this way.
“Yes. I knew about your feelings for me, but I have a reason for why I didn’t tell you.” Twilight told the lilac coated unicorn before turning to Spike, “Can we talk alone Spike? I think I need a moment alone with Starlight.”
“You don’t have to ask me. Just go inside the room. I won’t interfere.” Spike smiled reassuringly at Twilight and Starlight.
“Thanks Spike.” Twilight smiled at Spike before walking in the room, with Starlight following.
Spike was polite enough to shut the door which allowed Twilight to speak, “Okay, so here’s the thing Starlight, I feel the same way about you as you do with me, but I never told you because… I had some worries.”
“What are you worried about Twilight?” Starlight asked, a bit nervous, “Is it me becoming evil again? Because I promise I won’t go that route again.”
Twilight chuckled a bit at that, “No, don’t worry. I’m confident that you’ve changed for the better. What I’m worried about is how I’ll be able to handle it when you…” Twilight gulped, “pass away.”
“Huh?” Starlight asked in shock.
“Alicorns may not be immortal Starlight but we have a long lifespan. Basically like Discord, Dragons, and Changelings. You however, have a regular lifespan, that’s why I didn’t confront you at first.” Twilight explained before she began to tear up, “I was too scared of what would happen when you would die and not see you again until I eventually pass on. Losing a lover is different from losing a friend, you can’t make a new one as easily.”
“Oh…” Starlight glanced sympathetically, “Twilight… I had no idea that this would make you worry, I assumed that with Cadence and Shining Armor still being married despite alicorns living longer, this wouldn’t be a problem. You have every right to feel that way, it does sound tough. I won’t try and pursue you into a relationship if it makes you uncomfortable.”
Twilight put her front hooves on Starlight’s shoulders and spoke firmly, “No, you don’t have to do that. I know it’ll be hard for me when you’re gone but I think I’ll pull through. I will eventually move on when you’re gone and still be able to keep you in my heart, and I want us to be something Starlight, and I want you as my girlfriend, but do you still want us to be together?”
Starlight looked around the room nervously, “Are you sure you can handle eventually losing me Twilight? I want this too believe me, but I care about your happiness just as much.”
“If that’s the case. I think I’d be happier having you as my girlfriend instead of forcing myself to not be in a relationship at all.” Twilight said with a smile, which caused Starlight to smile widely with tears in her eyes and strongly embrace Twilight which the alicorn returned with a smile.
Though after a bit, Starlight’s grip was starting to be too tight.
“Starlight… could you loosen the hug a bit?” Twilight asked a bit raspy.
“Oh… sorry.” Starlight smiled as she blushed in embarrassment before loosening her grip enough for Twilight to melt into the hug.
Spike smiled as he looked through the peephole in the door, it seemed Twilight and Starlight had worked things out. He was glad to see they were happy together and able to work past Twilight’s concerns.
Spike had to admit, the thought of losing some creature close to you is terrifying but he knew that there would be a light at the end of the tunnel, and he was glad to help Twilight find that.