The Dark Mirror Saga: Book 1: The Tale of the Last Caribou

Twilight ran like she had never run before in her life. Her heart was pounding hard against her chest and she felt as if an invisible, cold, gnarly hand would wrap itself around her neck again if she stopped but for a moment. After leaving the castle, a panic attack sent her over the edge the second she landed near the statue that she hated. She broke into a run and didn’t look back, not even to wonder if Dainn was watching her leave. She had done something incredibly stupid and emotionally driven, but what was done was done and she had no option but to adhere to Dainn’s wishes. Not that she wished to stay for long in the nightmare world that this Equestria had become.

Turning around a corner, she tripped over a broken piece of masonry and was sent to the floor, rolling a few meters until a series of vases stopped her advance. Being an alicorn, only her clothes were torn and slashed, leaving her without marks. She didn’t stand up as she lay on the ground, resting on her back and breathing the stale, cold, lifeless air for what felt like an eternity. The howling, distant wind only perpetuated the darkness this world had gone through and the eternal vigilance of the one being who was responsible for it, willing or not.

As her chest stopped heaving and rational thinking returned to her, Twilight stirred once more and stood up with some difficulty as her muscles, sore and burning, threatened to cramp up with each movement she made. “I… should do more exercise from now on, too,” she said, silently promising to herself that she would in order to become stronger and truly earn her title as a Princess of Equestria.

A rattling noise caught her attention and only then noticed that the vases contained several discarded items. Most had been rotted and eroded by time, but there were a few that survived. Mostly pieces of metal. Rings. Shackles. Chains. Collars. But among them was one that stuck out from the rest. She couldn’t make out what it was except that it was small and rounded, covered in dust, ash, and a thick plate of dried mold. Picking it up, she summoned her magic to cast a quick cleaning spell. It took several seconds but when it was done, a golden coin laid on her open palm.

A golden coin depicting Celestia, dehorned, with wing sheats, and collared sucking a caribou cock.

Twilight didn’t jerk back nor was she surprised by it. Repulsed? Certainly, but no more than that. Almost casually, she turned the coin around only to see a strange legend engraved on it that she couldn’t read next to Luna’s marked, exposed posterior while another caribou cock fucked her asshole. The thought of using her magic to destroy, melt, or simply toss the coin away crossed her mind, but then she sighed and stored the coin. “They need to see this,” she muttered with resolve and then continued on her way towards the mirror leading away from this dark dimension… and for a moment she wondered if there was something, anything she could do against such monsters if they ever came to her home dimension.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Twilight walked out of the school slowly, her mind still in a haze. Her human friends had tried to follow and Sunset Shimmer had informed her of what was happening as best she could. Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna were now even more adamant about making sure that no one would even get close to the basement and the sole reason they didn’t try to destroy the mirror were the warnings of the two ponies in human form.

“Twilight!” Sunset called out, following her. “Wait, I’m coming with you!”

“Thanks,” she said, not having the energy to refute her. As they approached the mirror leading to their home, she chuckled as she spread her arms and checked out her clothes. “Isn’t it weird that whenever we pass we always get a fresh set of clothes? I mean, how does that even work?”

“You’re the expert here, not me… though it does sound kinda silly. Hey, think that if I get naked and leave my clothes here, jump through the mirror and back again, would a new set of clothes magically cover me again?” The amber woman chuckled. “I could make a killing selling these clothes!”

Twilight chuckled. “Thanks, Sunset, I needed that.”

“Hey, what are friends for, right?” Sunset remarked before the two stepped through the portal. Back in Equestria a second later, she continued. “The girls are worried about you, Twilight. Including Twilight. You sure you don’t want to rope them in closer?”

“The least involved the humans from your dimension… their dimension… whatever is to this problem, the better. At least, for now. If things go south, then… who knows?” Twilight replied. “I wasn’t even gone that long and I feel like I was there for a month,” she sighed weakly. It was sudden, but she felt the familiar body of Spike tackling her and nearly toppling her to the ground while he squeezed her neck tightly. “Hey there, Spike.”

“Thank Celestia you’re okay,” he said, breathing easy. Letting go, he stared up at her and winced. “Dang, Twi, you ain’t looking too good.”

“I’m afraid I’m going to end up looking worse in the coming days,” she revealed. “The things I’ve learned… the things he told me. Oh, Sunset, I cannot allow that to ever happen to my home and yours. No matter what.”

“That bad, huh?” Sunset shivered. “Spike, where’s everyone?”

“Doing their own thing. The Princesses told me to contact them when you returned, Twi. S-Should I send them a message?” He asked, unsure. With a nod from the lavender alicorn, he dashed out of the basement followed slowly by the two ponies.

While they waited, Twilight relaxed with Sunset and Starlight’s help in the map room. Twenty minutes later a portal opened in the room before the alicorn princesses and Shining Armor stepped through it. A somber nod was shared between the ponies present and everyone took a place to be comfortable. Then… she started retelling them about her evening with Dainn and what new information she’d learned. Everyone listened closely, not speaking at all for what felt like hours until, at long last, she reached their abrupt departure.

“That’s when he lifted me by the throat… oh by the Gods! His touch was like that of death itself. H-He was right to be angry at me! I just… couldn’t contain my disdain and hatred! How is it possible for monsters like the caribou to exist at all!?” She ranted, stomping on the map with her forehooves and Spike reaching to caress her back, calming her down if only a little. “I was so f-fucking terrified… not by him, no… what I saw in his blue, cold, dead eyes. Hurt, pain, misery, anger, hatred, guilt, and a thousand other vile emotions swirling like a maelstrom of poison!”

“I am yet again impressed and saddened by his resilience. Even for an immortal, to endure such things? A curse. Plain and simple. He is living a curse without end,” Luna admitted. “But he is also correct. His fear and… whatever was twisting his mind blinded him to the truth. His weakness and frailty shackled his decision. And his reputation gained no love nor fealty.”

“As twisted as this may sound,” Shining added, “I am impressed by Oksho’s actions and conviction. His path and beliefs clashed with the nature and culture of the caribou, and yet he stood strong on his own. And to be the instrument of destruction, a trump card? Magnificent. Simply magnificent. As a warrior myself, I cannot help but admire him, despite everything.”

“His torment was great and it exploded in fiery inferno,” Luna carried on. “I wish I could meet such a warrior. Now that I am reviving my skills and sharpening my weapons, I shall need a capable companion and warrior to spar and share the battlefield with. The tale is not yet over and I know by pure nature of how things are that he failed in his mission, but I wish to hear it nevertheless.”

Celestia, who had remained stoic and speechless, finally let a sound louder than her gentle breathing. Her horn ignited and a large tray of sweets, cakes, and more appeared next to her. Wordlessly, she picked an entire funnel chocolate cake and took a giant bite, eating half of it in a single go. She munched on it a few times before swallowing, eating the other half easily; uncaring of the mess her muzzle turned into.

The rest of the ponies only watched as Celestia ate three cakes, several donuts, a dozen cupcakes, and other sweets with the tranquility of a royal Princess that beguiled the appetite of a true glutton. Her voracious maw continued to eat and no one said anything until tears formed in her eyes and began to fall down her cheeks. That’s when they understood she was coping with an immense pain that not even her favorite food could stave back.

Finally, with a large gulp, she set the tray aside and her mane turned into pure fire, her eyes glowed golden, and her tears into molten plasma. She smiled through glazed lips - wide and terrible, mocking and cruel, her teeth turned to fangs and she spoke with a parody of her true voice.

“You caused that~” the voice mocked with unparalleled sadism.

“I didn’t,” Celestia replied immediately.

“Awwww, is the hypocrite ready to cry?”

“His actions are not my fault. He’s not even from this dimension… I couldn’t have done anything.”

“So? You caused this. Let go. Let go. It’s so easy to let--”

“Silence,” Celestia cut off. “Remain where you belong, demon,” with that said, she returned to normal and sighed tiredly. A moment later, she turned to the tray and resumed her eating, but not in silence. “His torment… that horrible, terrible… unjust torment. Why would that Celestia curse him to suffer so? Such a display… I would not wish that upon anyone,” she said before digging into a strawberry cake.

“...Okay, what the fuck was that!?” Starlight said in a panic. “W-Was the Princess having a chat with… herself or what!?”

“Daybreaker,” Luna confessed while her sister resumed her ritualistic slaughter of baked goods. “To have her come out, even for a moment… sister, it cannot be your fault that Dainn was… punished in such a way.”

“While I agree with you, Luna,” Twilight said, surprising everyone with her unexpected neutrality about the whole situation. If anything, she was disappointed with her mentor if her judging gaze was anything to go by. “I think I am seeing the ‘Great and Noble’ protector of Equestria for what she truly is. An irresponsible, nagging, master manipulator wannabe man-child that doesn’t deserve an ounce of respect,” she said without much care, each stinging word punctuated by Celestia eating another sweet. “And I admired this negligent phony? Dainn was right. Right now you are the living proof that females shouldn’t be allowed to lead anything.”

Celestia accepted the rebuke without protest while everyone else had their mouths hanging open. “I was trained by Starswirl to be a statespony. A ruler. A bureaucrat. A politician. A magician. Not… not… I don’t even know,” she devoured the last of her sweets and turned to Twilight. “But at least I knew what I was doing and I had to do it alone… despite the fact that was also my fault. But Dainn? No. He was trying to rule by simply, as humans say, winging it. Svarndagr forged an Empire through sheer strength and competence. Dainn inherited ruins and ash and tried to form a new kingdom, only to end up stealing one instead,” she said, tears coming to a halt. “I did my best.”

“Bullshit,” Twilight said, glaring at her former teacher. “You did the bare minimum. What great achievements are on your list? What have you done that you can look back on with pride and accomplishment? That you kept a nation basically isolated and weak for over a thousand years? Defeating Discord was a fluke and you know it. Nightmare Moon was your fault. The Crystal Empire vanishing and the rise of Sombra? Your fault. You think you are a politician, and yet, aside from Saddle Arabia, who else can you call upon?”

“The dragons see us as fools and weaklings led by ‘namby pamby princesses!’, and they aren’t wrong. The griffons laugh at us. Diamond Dogs kidnap ponies at their leisure. Tirek almost was the end of us! And your solution was to dump it all on my shoulders -- AGAIN!” Twilight roared with indignity. “You know what Svarndagr would’ve done? Get off his lazy ass and bitch-slap Tirek into next Tuesday! Even Dainn, for all his faults, would’ve tried to do something! An idiotic, weak, frail, stupid, easily manipulated, and incompetent coward would’ve done BETTER than what you’ve done so far to protect your people, Celestia.”

“At least I know my faults! I now know of my own weaknesses and shortcomings and I plan to do something about it. So are you, thank the GODS! But out of all of us, you are a shameful example of what an alicorn should be… while my friends and I were forced to become heroes for your sake,” she sat back down and scoffed. “I… I don’t want to be a hero anymore. At least, not like what Dainn described: a fool that will get betrayed and discarded sooner or later. I want to be a true Princess. For I have seen what incompetence and laziness look like - what their male dominance warned about - and I do not want to follow in your hoofsteps,” her eyes, cold and resentful narrowed. “No wonder the Celestia fell so easily, why their Equestria was raped and broken and violated so thoroughly… when weak rulers led it, all of us included starting from our unshakable pillar,” she finished, glaring at Celestia with all the contempt she could muster. “No wonder why the caribou could never see females as equals.”

There was no rebuke, no cry of anger or anguish. There was only the cold acceptance of her words and the defeated nod of who was once the shining beacon of Equestria.

“You’re right,” Celestia said without a trace of shame or guilt in her words. “Until recently, I thought myself as successful, not seeing I was only deluding myself into compliance. Another pitfall of immortality. Compared to Svarndagr, what am I if not a weak-minded, incompetent leader? Much like Dainn, I received a kingdom forged by others and asked to lead it. We parallel each other in contradicting ways that could’ve easily ended in tragedy and failure if not for luck and circumstances. The ponies of the past united, guided by our parents against the Windigo threat and many more. Blueblood died in sacrifice that allowed the ancient Equestria to rise. We looked after it, nurtured it, protected it… but we never forged it ourselves.”

“For all his faults and cruelty, for all his deplorable acts, Svarndagr forged a civilization out of his own hands and led it the best way he could despite facing much, much worse conditions than us. Compared to his achievements, even if only known and heard through stories, ours are pathetic,” Celestia finished, sighing silently. “Now that my eyes are open, I can see all my faults, shortcomings, and negligent choices. I’ve know victory a few times compared to my defeats and, with my current streak of loses, if Dainn were to come here and see me how We are now, he would not trust me with my protection and safety. Let alone that of my little ponies.”

“A tyrant he was, but a tyrant without other options,” Luna added. The room went silent for several moments until Shining Armor spoke up.

“Wait… there’s something I am not understanding. If all of you, alicorns, must contend internally with a dark version of yourselves akin to demons… then why didn’t they show up in that other dimension unless it works differently there?” He asked.

Cadance perked up at that and shuddered. “As much I hate the idea, my husband is right. Those… things can’t be just bound by magic or any conventional means, right? Why weren’t they unleashed or sought freedom?”

Luna sighed. “Because, dear niece and nephew, these Nightmares… these dark versions of ourselves do not only lie within us, but they seek corruption and pure evil… if evil is happening around us already, there is no need for them to come out. If anything, they fight against us more strongly to prevent our victories. They bring us down, fill our hearts with doubt… and then, in time, they gain a name and a viscous purpose: to consume and destroy us as much as they wish to corrupt all around us. A curse we must always contend with.”

Cadance’s face went pale a moment later. “I’ve… I’ve heard it… sensed it in the past. W-When I was holding the barrier against Sombra’s assault… the voice inside me said I couldn’t hold on forever. That I should just give up… and let it happen. I thought… I thought I was delirious! Was that the dark thing inside me speaking and making me weaker!?” She asked in a panic.

“Most likely, yes,” Celestia confirmed. “You are still too young for your dark side to fully manifest, but now that we have agreed to train and tell you everything, we will make sure you remain strong against it and conquer it.”

“Greeeeeat, so we have enemies on all sides, even from within,” Spike let out a groan. “What’s next? A multidimensional invasion?”

“Spike?” Sunset said weakly, eyes wandering around fearfully. “You--uhh-- you may want to watch what you say. I, for one, would not want to make Murphy angry.”

“Murphy?” Everyone questioned except for Twilight.

“Murphy, or Murphy’s Law. A human belief that states that ‘Anything that can go will go wrong eventually’ and they believe that saying phrases like ‘This can’t get worse’, ‘I’m sure the worse it over’ or similar invoke it to ruin your day,” Twilight answered, shuddering. “I’ve never given it much weight… but now? Let’s… just avoid jinxing it, okay?”

“So… what are we to do now?” Starlight asked. “You won’t be back to Dainn until tomorrow, Twilight. Any ideas?”

“Actually, yes. Two, in fact,” Sunset said, leaning forth. “Ragnarok. In the human myths regarding the Nordic Gods, Ragnarok is the Final Battle that will reforge the world. And it is implied that it had happened multiple times. Not quite like Oksho describes when he transformed into Surtr. Rather, I think the cycle Dainn mentioned is like the Ragnarok the myths describe,” hitting the map with a hoof, she continued. “Remember what he said? A cycle that repeats itself without cause or reason, bringing down their civilization to start over, and preventing them from spreading widely. How many times have ponies lost their civilization only to start from scraps again? We all know there were at least two civilizations prior to the Old Tribes. The only difference between those catastrophes is that the caribou cycle was far more direct. Even human civilizations go through it a lot. And I do mean a lot.”

“Then we must find a way to stop that from happening… or at the very least diminish the results and continue onward,” Luna agreed. “And the second idea, Sunset?”

“Weeeeell… that’s a bit more, uhhmm, touchy,” she said with a faint blush. “Dainn mentioned that Switching was a punishment, right? Transforming a male into a female, right? Can we do something similar?”

“Actually, yes,” Starlight answered. “It’s a very difficult level of magic that even I have trouble grasping. But it can be done. The caribou could only advance so far and, due to their culture, would never achieve in ever turning a female into a male, so they were limited in various aspects, not to mention how stagnant they were. Your point?”

“Why don’t we run a few experiments with volunteers? If we are more advanced and knowledgeable in the fields of magic in that particular regard, then why don’t we turn mares into stallions and stallions into mares for a brief period of time? A day or a week? And each side will try to carry on with their lives as normal and write down the differences they notice?”

“F-For what purpose?” Twilight asked, flabbergasted. “I don’t think-”

“Hate to break it to you, but we’ve already tried it,” Shining Armor said with a faint blush and a nervous tremor in his voice. “Out of curiosity, before this all happened, we went around for a day with our genders swapped. The experience was… disturbingly comfortable? It’s hard to express it. I, for one, felt weaker as a mare and I could not control myself from flirting. I don’t know if it was the hormones or the suddenness of it all, but I at least got the long end of the stick.”

“I wish I could’ve taken a picture of ‘Gleaming Shield’--” Cadance snickered.

“CADDY!” Shining Armor protested, blushing madly.

“You would not believe how many stallions fell over hooves for her!” Cadance snickered again at her husband’s expense, though her humor turned sour quickly. “Not that I have much to say either. I… didn’t know my maids and guard mares could be so flirtatious.”

“Wait wait wait, you said you got the long end of the stick?” Spike pointed at his big brother. “Then how did you get the short end, Cadance?”

“While I was ‘Prince Bolero’, I… uhhh… I decided to spar with a few guards. Seriously, how do you stallions deal with so much pent-up energy? I was going crazy within three hours! I had to do something. As an alicorn, I really didn’t notice a change in strength, only that it was much, much harder keeping it under control. The sparring matches went well until…” her face went pale, forehooves going to her crotch to softly caress genitals that were no longer there.

“...No…” Sunset murmured, her smile widening. “You… you got kicked in the nuts!?”

“Kicked?” Cadance blurted out, soulless. “I got bucked in my temporary testicles! I heard pure white noise and I saw the face of the GODS for a second there! I’ve never cried so badly in my life before! I-I don’t know what was worse, that or giving birth! It hurt so fucking bad!”

“My bits are on giving birth is worse. A kick there is extremely painful, but it doesn’t last long unless something ‘pops’,” Shining declared, shuddering alongside his wife. “Giving birth is a constant pain that can last for hours.”

“WHY!?” Cadance suddenly cried out. “W-Why is it that pain-nullifying spells don’t work on that?” She grumbled as she remembered that awful experience.

“Ohhhhhh!” Luna laughed. “Now I understand why Svarndagr aimed for the groins of males so much! Quite a terrible punishment!”

Twilight giggled, unable to contain herself. “D-Dainn was right! I-It can be pretty funny! And a great motivator to make males do their actual work instead of distracting themselves with other activities, hahaha!”

“...it’s not funny…” Cadance pouted, while her smiling husband hugged her close.

“A-As not hilarious as that is,” Celestia said, winking at her niece playfully, “perhaps we should oversee the experiment on more volunteers without painful outcomes?”

“To defeat your enemy you must first know them,” Sunset quoted. “Hey, if it helps, I’ll volunteer first. Equestria is my homeland, after all, and anything I can do to help I will.”

“Thank you, Sunset Shimmer. If anything, I am starting to think that our dimensions should work together in the possible event of an invasion from outside sources or just for preparedness's sake,” Celestia said, only then starting to wipe her mouth and neck from the frosting, crumbs, and sprinkles her feasting covered.

“I… wouldn’t jump into that wagon right away, though,” Sunset countered. “There’s next to zero magic in the human world and whatever it is seems to be leaking from here. But that Dark Mirror only points out that my home must be connected to other dimensions, at least in passing. Besides, humans can be… difficult to treat with. They are millions of times less united than we ponies, griffons, dragons, yaks and more are. But when they are threatened or can unite against a common foe? They can raise hell. Literally. They have nuclear bombs which are like pocket Solar Strikes but worse,” she shuddered for a moment, letting her warning sink in.

“Not to mention,” she continued, “that their cultures spread like wildfire. I don’t know why, but they are so diverse and appealing to at least someone that they’ll worm their way into our lives without knowing it. I mean, all of us pretty much swear using their words now and most of you have only known about them for a month at most. Only Twilight here has an excuse for it and I am infected to the core. There’s no way I am giving up fanfiction, internet, video games, and tacos now that I’ve come to adore them.”

“She’s not wrong or exaggerating,” Twilight added. “Human history makes our history look like the most peaceful utopia ever to exist. By the way, fuck you, Sunset, for introducing me to Vlad bloody Tepes. I had nightmares for weeks,” she shuddered again. “And yet… in his own right, he was a hero of his time. Go figure, right?”

“Are we sure we want to associate with the humans, then?” Cadance asked, unsure.

“We will initiate contact, formal contact, if the situation demands it,” Celestia offered and all agreed with a nod. “Now, what shall we do next?”

“Before we do anything else,” Shining began, “I am curious as to what that caribou, Bromir, I believe was his name, saw. What was the true face of the Enchantment? Was it the unbound depravity? The reckless, consuming hedonism, or was something worse?”

“I… don’t know. I only gave a theory and Dainn replied I was mostly correct. I believe not even he knows what Bromir saw. Not in full, not in truth, but he understands it more than I could. I’m not in my field of expertise here. All I know is that it had to be something truly horrible and disgusting to cause Bromir to become a whimpering vegetable…”

Silence followed for several moments until Cadance gasped, eyes filling with tears. “Oh by the Gods… I think I know what he saw…” all eyes turned to her. “He saw me.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Superintendent Discord was humming to a catchy tune while polishing a golden golf club when suddenly a tear, in reality, appeared before him, only to reveal a mismatched being that would make a platypus green with envy. He stood up and smiled. “Ah, Discord! I don’t get too many visitors, you know?”

“Ugggh, I could never understand you ‘organized chaos’ types,” Discord replied, closing the tearing. “Education? Such a dreary thing.”

“Pfftt, oh please, what is more chaotic than running a system that doesn’t even know what it's doing?” The human Discord replied with a sassy grin before setting his club aside. “So, what can I do to help a fellow agent of chaos?”

“Actually, I am the one doing the helping. I’m sure you know about Canterlot High?” Discord offered, snapping his fingers and summoning a table, tea, snacks, and two floating chairs. His counterpart floated in the air before sitting on his chair. Doing the same, he continued. “Well, trouble is brewing up there.”

“Of course, I know about it. Magic in this dimension is extremely weak to the point it is worthless. But things have happened that put extra juice into it. I am assuming you come from that same dimension?” Discord nodded. “Figures. So, who’s your best friend?”

“Why, my dear and caring Fluttershy, of course,” Discord replied and the human chuckled as he conjured a board with the names of the Element Bearers and a few others he didn’t know. All were marked with at least one chalk stalk but the names Pinkie Pie, Spike, and Flutterhy had the most marks. The human Discord added a mark on Fluttershy and the board vanished. “What was that about?”

“Oh, just a fun hobby of mine. I don’t get out much nor do I get many visitors. I find it funny to see which of them,” referring to the names on the board, “was befriended the most times! I’m currently winning the bet I made with Spider Discord! He said Pinkie was the most common, I said it was Fluttershy!”

“Yhhou are ddddespicabble!” Discord retorted with a duck’s head. The two laughed and he returned to normal. Then, the two sipped on their teas and ate a few snacks before Discord lost his silly air and adopted a serious expression. “Are you aware that this dimension is connected to many others?”

“I am aware,” the human replied. “Most are harmless, some are just annoying, and then there are those… ‘Untamed’ ones. Lovey-dovey types, ugghh. But yours? Yours is the most active, though. Must be a fun place to be,” he added, smirking.

“Well… that’s the thing. My Twilight found a Dark Mirror,” he revealed at the same time he conjured an umbrella just before the human spat his tea.

“A WHAT!?” The human tossed away the cup and jumped to the floor. “Oh nonononononononononononono! This world isn’t prepared to deal with that sort of bullshit! I have to destroy it immediately!”

“You know the rules… we can’t… not directly at least and without manipulation,” Discord grumbled. “Stupid rules.”

“Then what are we to do!? What sort of Dark Mirror is it!? Please tell me it isn’t a caribou one!” Discord made a face. “FUCK! FUCK! Okay… okay… calm down… how bad is it?”

“It is as Dark Universe as it can be… and they are all dead. Only their Dainn remained. But there’s something that worries me. You see… I found it, but I can’t enter it. Something is keeping me, and I bet every Discord out there, out of it. Not uncommon among Dark Dimensions, but this one was particularly nasty.”

Human Discord sighed in relief. “Well, at least I don’t have to fear an invasion. Now I understand why Celestia’s request was so vague. By the way, have you been to any of those zebra domination ones? I took a peak and I was so confused. It was so… stupid. But at least they are not Dark Dimension… most of them, at least.”

“A few,” Discord admitted. “Most are stupid and just make no sense. Every female in those are either sluts or size queens,” he said with disdain. “But back to our little problem. What should we do?”

“We?” Human Discord asked, curiously. “What about the rules?”

“I think I can bend them a little since my dimension is also affected by it. So, any plans?” He asked, sipping on his tea.

“For now? Wait and watch… wait and watch. I might have to go there personally to check the mirror myself,” his eyes narrowed. “But just to be prepared, I’ll try to form a team made up of magically gifted humans and stranded individuals from other dimensions if I can find them. The Dazzlings, for one, would be an easy bet.”

“Let’s keep that idea in the back of our minds for now,” Discord said as he opened the back of his head and put a picture of that precise moment inside it. After closing the latch, he continued. “Meanwhile, my Twilight is going back and forth talking with that Dainn. I’ve been keeping an eye on the recaps of their little meetings and, oh boy, I haven’t been so entertained in ages! I told Starswirl that he shouldn’t dote on Celestia that much, but noooooo, I’m just a near-omnipotent Chaos Lord and Spirit of Disharmony! Even the Spirit of Harmony facepalmed at his stubborn idiocy,” he groaned. “Anyway, I gotta go now. I’ll be back if something else happens, okay?”

“Keep me informed, Discord. I think we may have a huge problem on our hands if we don’t handle it correctly,” human Discord said. Discord nodded and with a static effect, he was gone. Once alone, he turned to the window as he watched the sunset. “Or… perhaps a solution?” He muttered and dismissed the thought entirely. “There’s no way to fix Dark Dimensions…”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“So that’s how things went,” Twilight finished her recap now that the rest of her friends were present. “Applejack, could you stop laughing, please?”

Applejack snorted, biting on her hat in a desperate attempt to stop, but it failed. Her eyes were full of tears and her smile just couldn’t die down. “A-Ah’m trying, Ah swear! B-But darn tootin! If that ain’t the best and funniest rib-tickler thing Ah heard in years!” Another bark of laughter caused the rest of the ponies present to suppress a few chuckles and giggles. “Ah wanted at least one of them bastard to meet Kicks McGee and Bucky McBillygutty, and one of them did! Best of all, it was the biggest vermin of them all! HAHAHAHAHA! GAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” She screamed in feigned pain, hooves clutching her crotch. Even Cadance couldn’t help but laugh at her acting. “MAH FOAL MAKERS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

After another minute of laughter, the cowmare composed herself to finally stop laughing and get a hold of herself. “D-Dang diggity, what Ah wouldn’t give to see Ivangri’s face when that Applejack kicked his balls,” another chuckle escaped her throat. “But Ah guess I must be thankful to receive the praise for mah skills, even if that wasn’t me! Seems like Svarndagr had the right head on his shoulders when it came to using a convincin’ technique.”

“Crude, but accurate,” Rarity chimed in. “The best way to get sex-addicted barbarians to do their jobs is to punish and threaten their, ehem, equipment. Wise, crude, but resourceful.”

“He was a meanie and a bully,” Fluttershy said, frowning. “But at least he wanted the best for his people… I can’t agree with him, but he was the lesser evil, I think. Without him, someone as strong as him, everything got bad so quickly,” she said with a dark shiver, her eyes turning to Cadance. “P-Princess… why would you think that you were what Bromir saw?”

“Yeah, that doesn’t make sense. According to Dainn,” Rainbow began, “you were there so… why you and nopony else?”

“It’s the only logical solution I can think of and the only one that makes sense. Every time things get worse, I’m at the center of it. Or rather, that Cadance was. She was the one who gave the Crystal Empire on a silver platter. She was the one who created the purple collars. And she was the one who… who… sank into complete depravity and wanton excess. To be described as insatiable? Not even Chrysalis would reach such depths.”

“But that Cadance didn’t do it,” Luna interjected. “That traitor, Orestes, was the one who gave that Cadance to the caribou and the Crystal Empire alongside her. Opening the gates to the rest of Equestria. I am the Mistress of the Night, a shepherd of Dreams, and I’ve seen them all. The enchantment they used provided them with a living wet dream made real unlike any other wet dream I’ve seen come true over the centuries,” she frowned. “I will not deny that that Cadance had a hand in turning the wheel, but she was not the cause. Oksho’s warning rings true: traitors always have a hidden goal. They shouldn’t be trusted and must be eliminated immediately. I think… I think Orestes wanted things to become the way they were to serve his intentions.”

“A megalomaniacal manipulator, a coward, a backstabber, a liar,” Celestia said, cursing Orestes’ name with every title given.

“How much do you want to bet that Orestes wanted to be the King of Equestria or worse, the King of All? In his delusion, he was to be at the top even if he had to rule over ashes. Not even Sombra was that… crazy,” he scoffed. “But then, why would he try to make me--that Shining Armor King if his true goal was to be seated on the throne himself?”

“I wouldn’t really know, but I suspect that after you were on the throne, he’d eventually depose you, he’d take the mantle and rule. Dainn will surely confirm it or deny it at some point,” Twilight replied with disgust. “A traitor to his core.”

“Almost as bad as being a hero, huh?” Pinkie Pie said, rubbing her chin. “But that doesn’t make any sense!”

“How can it not? Dainn and Oksho were right. A hero is just a fool that will get used, betrayed, and then killed for trying to do good,” Shining replied, crestfallen.

“Duh! Because those are silly heroes! True heroes don’t do silly things like that! I mean, we are heroes and good things happen to us and ponies all over thank us, right?” Pinkie replied.

Now that got Twilight thinking. “Celestia… is what Oksho said true or was he merely blinded by his own experiences? Is that our fate, to be despised and thrown aside once our usefulness runs out? Are heroes doomed to have no good things happen to them?”

“He was certainly correct. And most heroes share that fate,” Celestia agreed. Everypony gasped in shock after hearing such a cruel yet forward affirmation. “And yet, Pinkie Pie is also correct.”

Jaws opened and rigid, eyes of shock turned confused, and then mouths closed as they shared glances.

“Let me clarify. Most heroes are naive, stupid, and rise through perils. Oksho saved his people from Garm and Dainn became King to save his people from the cycle and forge a new kingdom. We know how that ended. But that’s because they were naive. Well-intentioned, but naive. Oksho displayed his power but didn’t know how to counter the thirsts of his own people, not their fears. Dainn started with good intentions and was slowly countered and corrupted into being complacent and servile to his corrupt, vile council. Being separated from Gunne and Ginna were his greatest mistakes and that set him off his intended path quickly.”

“A hero. A true hero, I mean, is more than a savior with good intentions, power, and abilities. A true hero is much like all six of you: regular ponies who don’t allow their achievements to blind them or derail your daily lives. You have goals, personal lives, and have risen to the occasion not because you were all-powerful, but because no one else would and you barely achieved your victories,” Celestia pointed out.

“Great humility begets contempt, great power creates fear, great idealism forms opportunists, and great purposes begets traitors. A true hero must be humble but not enough to blindly go into danger, have power but not relish in it, have profound idealism without the need to preach it, and have a purpose outside of being a hero. Those who don’t understand this are the ones who suffer. Which, sadly, are the vast majority,” Luna finished for her sister. “Do you understand?”

“That… makes so much sense,” Shining Armor said, the first to recover. Then, he slapped his forehead. “No wonder Spike is so beloved in the Crystal Empire. Ponies there wish to please and serve him. Spike accepts it, so he isn’t humble enough to deny it, but still doesn’t allow that to change him. He knows his place is next to my sister. He is a dragon and yet doesn't push his natural strengths as often. He’s a true hero… and thus, good things happen to him as a hero. Life is still life and not everything will be good, but that doesn’t have to do anything with being a hero… I feel so damn stupid now.”

“Spike? Humble? Please, he’s a peacock,” Rainbow teased, but wrapped a wing around Shining’s back. “But you’re right. I also feel dumb now. Heh, good to know we’re not like the other poor heroes!”

“So, in short: heroes suffer bad consequences for their actions. True heroes earn good consequences,” Twilight said and the royal sisters nodded in agreement. “... I still don’t want my friends and me to save the day ourselves all the time by our lonesome, though,” igniting her horn, she took the coin from within her satchel and dropped it on the map with a metallic cling clang. “And speaking of consequences, how about this? Dainn’s council was a consequence of his naivety and it eventually led to the creation of this thing.”

All eyes fell on the golden coin and almost instantly everyone winced, recoiled, or made a disgusted noise when they saw the side depicting Celestia.

“What the hay is that?”

“I think I’m going to be sick!”

“Just how cruel, gnarly, and perverted can they be!?”

Opinions flew about, not one of them good, as they all gave tentative stares at the offending coin.

“I’m curious about why this was the first coin I’ve seen ever since my arrival there. But I want you all to see it, inspect it, and tell me what can you deduce from it,” Twilight said, passing the coin to Celestia first.

“It is… repulsive and humiliating,” she replied after inspecting both sides of the coin. “The legend on the back, what does it mean?”

“I do not know. I don’t recognize the language,” Twilight replied as Celestia passed the coin to Luna.

“Disgusting. A display of false superiority,” Luna said before passing the coin to Shining Armor.

“Pure pervertedness, simple and cruel,” he said, passing the coin to Cadance.

“Vomiting and something that shouldn’t be allowed to exist.”

“A crude, perverted work that mocks art.”

“Shit.”

“Uhhmmm, a d-disgusting thing made by depraved minds.”

“A bad, bad, bad thing.”

“Clearly the product of an unhinged mind that relishes in sadism.”

“It’s something made by someone asking for an ass beating!”

“A perversion of all things good and nice.”

The answers came from Cadance as she gave the coin to Rarity, then to Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Starlight, Rainbow Dash, and Spike before he gave the coin to the last member present: Sunset Shimmer.

“You know,” she began, “I’ve seen a lot of human hentai with similar gimmicks, going from consensual to erotic fantasies. But this? This is pure cruelty for the sake of cruelty and the need to stroke their dicks to feel superior,” she said with hatred. “What the… is that… is that Latin?”

Twilight did a double take. “Wait, Sunset, you can read it!?”

“I took a course on dead languages. I… wasn’t the best but I learned a thing or two. Let me see if I can translate it… Nosce… Locum… Tuum… No, that doesn’t make sense… but if I re-arrange it… nope… I think… I think it means ‘Know Your Place’,” she gave the coin to Twilight and gagged. “Why did I expect anything other than a depraved message?”

“They… were clearly blunt and unimaginative,” Celestia commented, disgusted.

“You can thank Thramm for that. Master of the Arts? What a joke. Everything was invaded by similar displays of humiliation and propaganda. Caribou raping mares, subjugating ponies, and mares being subservient. Everything was horrible to see… but everything was also the same. Unimaginative, needlessly cruel, and with no other goal besides showcasing how superior males, and the caribou, were,” Twilight said with bitter, burning hatred.”

Sunset frowned and clicked her tongue. “Speaking of that. Twilight… if the Spirit of Harmony warned Dainn so many times about what was coming, trying to guide him on a different direction… why didn’t it just, I don’t know, stopped him? Or the caribou? The Spirit of Harmony is as powerful or more so than Discord himself. And he got, what? A rebuke that basically said ‘That’s not how it works’,” she scoffed, crossing her forelegs. “Lazy ass spirit.”

Everypony winced but Twilight, as she sighed. “Well… that’s not entirely wrong. It may sound like an excuse, but that’s how many spirits work. Discord is an exception because he is not a Spirit. He’s more akin to a God. But spirits are bound to severe strict rules and conditions on how and when they can act. The more powerful they are, the more conditional those rules get. The Elements of Harmony are, basically, catalysts to focus the power of the Spirit of Harmony and the energy that fuels it is Friendship. It may sound contradictory, but as much as they appear to be some sort of one-shot super weapon, they aren’t. What is Harmony? Simply put, balance. That’s what the Elements of Harmony do, they bring balance back against corruption, destructive chaos, and evils. And without the Elements Bearers… how could it act aside from whatever limited contact it could maintain with the one being that could’ve done a difference if he had just listened to it and not the poison spewing from those around him?”

Silence reigned for what felt like hours after her explanation and realization until, at long last, she continued.

“I think… I think I owe Dainn an apology. I let my feelings get the better of me in the worst way possible. I lumped all caribou into the same group and just… I don’t know, I just wanted to make him suffer. How does that make me better than the caribou?” Twilight sighed and shook her head. “Right. So. back to the coin. All of your answers are correct, but everyone overlooked the most simple mistake. A coin is meant to represent a nation and great individuals, right?” Everyone nodded. “So… where’s Dainn’s face in it?”

“...they shunned him…,” Cadance answered, crestfallen. “They gave him no respect whatsoever. He was never a King. He was a King of Nothing. Dainn did everything he thought was necessary to save them… and they couldn’t even repay him with the smallest sliver of loyalty.”

“He may have been wrong and his council was never on his side… but to be a mere puppet? Worse, to be tossed to the side and ignored? To have your efforts not recognized at all? What more proof do we need that nothing good ever happens to heroes?” Shining added, hugging his wife close.

“And to think that things are still going to get worse!” Rarity exclaimed. “I’m sorry, but I would rather not hear the gruesome details that a thing like that detestable example of finding pleasure when you’re being cut, sliced, and chopped… or doing that to others is just… NO!”

“I believe you are correct, Twilight. You owe Dainn an apology. I believe we all do,” Celestia said, no one dared contradict her.

Starlight shuddered. “If that’s what brainwashing does in the long run… I am SO glad you girls put an end to my delusions and stupidity. If you haven’t and I had gotten my way? I’m sure everyone in the village would’ve happily flayed my flank and cut my horn while the pegasi would cut their wings just to make us all equal,” another shudder overtook her as she realized how close she’d been from walking a similar path.

“But this is different. By his own admission, he is the one responsible for the state of his Equestria. He is guilty. He is a monster… and yet… he is unlike the rest of his people. I feel anger and pity at the same time. Remember how I thought about all changeling before Thorax and Spike opened my eyes? If things had been different… I wonder if Dainn could’ve been an actual good King?”

Storing the coin, Twilight rose to her hooves and sighed. “I’m… tired. I’ll go and rest now. Maybe I’ll eat later. I don’t know. But you’re right, Starlight. Mind control and brainwashing are… tricky. You have to be very specific on what goes when making the spell and your orders, or else it can go bad and unhinged quickly. That’s why it is a forbidden branch of magic. Unethical? Yes. But it is incredibly dangerous and extremely unpredictable and can get out of hoof faster than it can be retained.”

Spike nodded, climbing on her back. “Brainwashing is like a monkey’s paw. You get what you want, but the consequences are on you.”

Luna chuckled darkly. “The wet dream of the caribou is one that should NOT come true no matter what.”

With that said, the lavender alicorn left the room and quickly made her way to her room. It was dark, with only a lamp illuminating her nightstand. Spike hopped off her back and she jumped on her bed, exhausted.

“I’ll see to it that everyone is escorted out, okay, Twi?” Spike offered.

“You are a lifesaver, Spike,” Spike smiled and then left, leaving her alone. “Great… now how do I apologize to Dainn? Maybe… I should bring him a gift. He did like the cupcake a lot, though. Should I bring him a tray next time?”

“Nah, bring him something new, something fresh! Something not even the readers know he likes! Like cake! Everyone likes cake! Moka, funnel, vanilla, or just strawberry!” Pinkie Pie said, popping her head from beneath the bed’s frame.

“Hmmm, cake? Good idea. Thanks, Pinkie,” Twilight said tiredly.

“You’re welcome!” The pink pony exclaimed, and then she was gone.

A few seconds later, Twilight shuffled on her bed and stared down the edge to where Pinkie’s head had been a moment ago. “Pinkie!?” Not finding her chaotic friend, Twilight returned to her previous posture and just laid on her bed.

It didn’t take more than ten seconds before she was asleep, snoring quietly while her dreams ran rampant.