Let's Be Friends!

by -TheStoryteller-

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Horror, Pinkie Pie, Mr. Cake, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 1795

A new pony comes to Ponyville, who isn't quite the friendly type. Pinkie takes exception to this.

Who doesn't like making new friends?! That's Pinkie's philosophy, one that she carries out with the utmost determination.

Regardless of the consequences.

Now with a very creepy video by SteamWriter! (TARDIS9)

Published 2022-09-21 09:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-09-21 09:30:01 UTC

Surprise!

Come on everypony! Smile, smile smile!
Fill my heart up with sunshine! Sunshine!
All I really need's a smile smile smile!
From these Happy-- with a grunt, Jolly slammed the bedroom window shut.

Not for the first time, he cursed his parents for naming him such, for most times he felt anything but. And living in a place where the ponies broke out into impromptu musical numbers at any given time didn't help matters.

He went to his desk and tried to get some work done. But it was hard to concentrate, as he could still hear the music coming from Celestia-knows where, and every time he closed his eyes he could see all their insipid faces smiling at him.

Like they did every day.

It hadn't always been like this for him. When he first moved to Ponyville, he'd been vibrant and outgoing, full of anticipation for life. But, over the years, life had taken its toll on him.

First had been the job. He'd worked in a restaurant, as a waiter, and from the first day, he'd thrown himself into his work, delivering up a smile along with the food to every customer he had. And while the majority of his customers were friendly, there was the odd minority that couldn't be pleased no matter what he did. The holidays were the worst, for then the stress levels for everypony went through the roof, and he found himself facing more and more of those who decided to take their frustrations out on the waitstaff. After that last Hearth's Warming, he'd left and never looked back. But even that had turned out to be a mistake, for he'd left with no clear plan in place, and so had gotten behind on his rent until he'd been able to find another job. That was when he'd learned that, behind the smiles, the majority of ponies were only nice to you so long as you lived up to their expectations.

Like his landlady.

She'd been as pleasant as she could be while he was regular in paying, but once he got behind he saw a side of her he didn't expect. Now, instead of smiles and asking about his day, she was sullen and rude whenever he spoke to her, which wasn't often. He did eventually catch up, but she was never nice to him again. Deep down, he knew that was his fault for being irresponsible enough to quit a job with no other one already in hoof, but it still rankled.

A few years ago, he'd gone back to Manehatten to visit his family. It had been late when he'd gotten off the train, and raining to boot, so that's why he didn't hear the pony sidling up behind him. A gruff, "Give me your bits!" and something sharp being pressed into his side were his only warning. He'd frozen in terror, which the robber apparently didn't like, so he'd stabbed him. His scream probably saved his life, for it brought others to their windows, and the robber ran off. But...nopony came to his aid, they just shut their windows and doors and went back to their lives. He'd collapsed on his parents' front step, and the next thing he'd known was waking up in the hospital. While he'd been grateful to his parents, he was never again inclined to visit them, not for some time.

Then, after he'd recovered and moved to Ponyville, he'd met a sweet filly, and they'd dated enough so that he'd began to think of her as his marefriend...until she wouldn't meet his eyes at dinner one night, and told him she just wanted to be "friends." The problem with that was he'd met her at the new job, and had gone against his father's advice to "never get your honey where you get your money," and asked her out. After that dinner, he knew he couldn't work next to her anymore, so he found what turned out to be his present job before quitting that one. (Sigh) It had been the longest two weeks of his life.

Now here he was, stuck in a job he hated, with no special somepony and everypony else constantly smiling at him. Especially that pink pony. She was the worst of the lot, for she was always trying to engage him in some stupid party, or a picnic, or some such.

At first, he thought she was hitting on him, until he found out later she was like that with everypony in town. How can one pony be friends with the entire population? He wasn't buying it. He'd politely refused her invitations, but she. Just. Wouldn't. Quit! So he only left his apartment when it was absolutely necessary, and even then he scouted around each corner, trying to spot her before she did him. It seldom worked, for many times he'd been on some familiar street, without a glimpse of pink anywhere, when suddenly she'd appear behind him.

It never failed to give his heart a jolt, and he'd always stay jumpy for the rest of that day's shopping until he got himself home and safely locked behind his door.

Soon, Celestia's Sun set, and so he decided to call it an early night and try to get some sleep. The boring report he was working on would just have to wait. After crawling into bed, he turned out the light and was just drifting off to sleep, when he felt something was just wrong. He reached over and turned on the lamp. When he did, he nearly jumped out of his skin. There, at the end of his bed, stood Pinkie.

"Gah! What are you doing in my bedroom, you crazy pink menace?!"

Pinkie's smile never wavered as she said, "I didn't see you in town today. Are you feeling alright?"

'I'm fine! Or at least I was until you showed up! Get out of here!" As she turned to go, he added, "Wait! How did you get in here?"

"HAHAHA! Through the front door, silly!"

He stared at her. "That's impossible! I know I locked it!"

Pinkie's smile grew even wider as she said, "No door can keep me from my friends!"

He grit his teeth as he replied, "Listen, let's get one thing straight: I'm not your friend. I'm never going to be your friend. Now leave me alone and get away from me!"

Pinkie's smile faltered as her mane lost its poofiness. In a small voice, she said, "Never?"

"Never! Now get out before I call the cops on your crazy self!"

She stared at him, then her smile returned. "We'll see." With that, she turned and left his bedroom. He got up to follow her, to make sure he'd locked the door this time, but by the time he got to his bedroom door, she was already gone. He rushed to the front door, opened it, and looked out. There was nopony on the streets and no sign of her. It was like she'd never been there. Suppressing a shudder, he slammed his door shut and locked it.

He awoke angry, so he made a decision: today, he'd seek that pink nutjob out and give her a piece of his mind! He pulled on a scarf against the autumn chill and set out. He began at Ponyville Square, seeking her, but she was nowhere to be found. Then, he realized she was probably at Sugarcube Corner, so that was his next stop. Mr. Cake greeted him jovially as he stepped inside.

"Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! What can I get you?"

Jolly looked around behind the counter before saying in a terse voice, "I'm looking for Pinkie."

Frowning at his tone of voice, Mr. Cake replied, "She's out at the moment. Is there something I can do for you?"

Jolly scowled at him and said, "Yes! There is! You can tell her to leave me the hell alone! She broke into my house last night and pestered me, just like she's pestered me every day I've lived here. I'm sick of it!"

Mr. Cake looked startled, and said, "'Broke into your house?' That doesn't sound like Pinkie. She can be a little eccentric, but I've never heard of her doing a thing like that."

Jolly took a menacing step forward and growled, "Are you calling me a liar?"

Mr. Cake stared at him for a moment, smiled, then said, "Why don't you want to be her friend?"

Jolly took an involuntary step back, thoroughly creeped out by the Earth pony's response. After a moment he found his voice. "Just tell her to stay away from me!" The smile never left Mr. Cake's face as Jolly turned and made his way out of the shop. Once outside, he turned and looked back into the shop, still unsettled by Mr. Cake's reaction. Then he shook his head and continued on his way. That pink menace had to be around town somewhere; he had only to find her.

After about an hour, he finally gave up and started back to his house. Figures. The one day I need to find her she's nowhere around. Then another thought occurred to him. Maybe she's actively avoiding me. After last night's break-in, she has to know I'm pissed at her. He nodded to himself. That was the answer.

When he finally reached his home and opened the door, he nearly had a heart attack when he turned the lights on, and there was a loud, "SURPRISE!!" from all the ponies that had jammed themselves into his living room! At the head of the procession, holding a cake and wearing a ridiculous party hat was...her! She smiled a too-wide smile at him and said, "Jolly, I just know we're going to be good, good friends from now on!" She offered a slice to him. "Here, have some cake!"

He slapped it out of her hooves and screamed, "Get out of my home, you crazy bitch!" He looked around. "All of you! Get out!" But their smiles never wavered.

As Pinkie and the others closed on him, she whispered, "We are all friends here, Jolly..." Her smile grew to an impossible width. "All. Of. Us." He backed away and tried to open the door, but he was locked in.

The last thought he had was the sound of somepony screaming, and only vaguely realized who it was.

Come on everypony! Smile, smile smile!
Fill my heart up with sunshine! Sunshine!
All I really need's a smile smile smile!
From these Happy Friends of Miiiiiiine!

Jolly sang along with everypony else as they all welcomed a newcomer into town.

It's great to be friends!

Hahah... HAHAHAH...HAHAHAHAH.... HAHAHAHAHAHHH!!