Pinkie & the Brain

by ItsDoctorWhooves

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 6013

While venturing through Ponyvilles Market, Pinkie finds something interesting; a Unicorn Horn.

The annual Ponyville Flea Market is going on, and Pinkie found a very interesting object; an attachable unicorn horn.

Assuming it's just a joke item, Pinkie buys it, hoping to use it as a method of making the Cakes' Twins laugh. But when she discovers that the horn is fully functional...

Can you honestly ever say you would trust Pinkie with Magic?

Published 2012-09-28 16:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-11 21:35:52 UTC

Discovery

Discover

Every year in Ponyville, a flea market is held in town square. Ponies ranging from Apploosa to Cloudsdale meet up to trade trinkets and sell curios.

There is a running joke; every year you are destined to buy something that is almost entirely unlike what you were intending on purchasing.

Pinkie Pie was looking for a chocolate fountain.

She had always wanted one, ever since the party with Princess Celestia. She had this fantasy to cover herself in the warm chocolate, let it harden, and have Twilight divide the chocolaty shell in half down the middle, so she could get out if it. Of course , the plan was silly. There was no way that Twilight could be that accurate with her magic.

The town square was packed to the brim with ponies, selling things from antique saddles to horn cozies. Everypony was excited, and nopony was without some odd trinket to gawk at for half an hour.

"Hey, Zecora!" Pinkie practically sang when she saw her zebra friend.

"Hello, Pinkie Pie. How are you?" Zecora said, sorting through a pile of antique horseshoes.

"What, no rhymes?" Pinkie joked. "Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?"

Zecora smiled. "I am fine, pony of pink, I need not rhyme all the time, you think?"

Pinkie giggled. "How do you like our flea market?"

"It's extremely interesting, I might set up a stall next year."

"Oh, you could name it 'Zecurios'!"

Zecora chuckled, and paced off towards another pile of age-worn horseshoes.

At this point, Pinkie saw something—something shiny. Another running joke in Ponyville is that Rarity can be tossed head over heels distracted by anything with any sort of shine, but the truth is really that it's Pinkie whose weakness is glossy objects.

The object measured at about four inches, with a curling indent around it, like a candy cane, with a pointed tip. It was translucent, and sparkled like fine diamond in sunlight.

It was a unicorns horn.

"Ooh!" Pinkie remarked with glee.

"You like?" a soft voice asked.

"Huh? Oh, hi!" Pinkie's eyes focused in on a small figure below her. He was a black pony, with most of his body covered by a thick-looking cloak. His face looked almost skeletal, though weirdly not because of his age.

"Does the pink one like, darling?" the pony rasped out.

"Who...Oh!" Pinkie exclaimed. "You mean me? Yup, I think it's pretty."

"Does the pink one want to make a purchase?" he asked.

"Um, how much?" she asked, talking a bit softly with worry. "That thing has to be expensive, it looks like it's made of diamonds or something" she thought. Pinkie gazed at the horn. At the base of it was a thin, stark white leather strap—the horn was head wear. "What a funny hat"

"Eh... one bit, for the pink one. Yes... one bit..." he whispered, a small amount of excitement seeming to fill his empty voice.

"Holy guacamole! Only one bit?" she squealed out with marvel. "I'll take it, Mister..."

"Vernula... Vernula is Vernula..."

"Thank you so much, Vernula." Pinkie squeaked. She handed the single gold coin to the small pony, who seemed to handle it like it was a ticket to heaven. After, Pinkie walked home to gawk at her new little trinket.

.............................................................

Pinkie stroked the horn, in awe of its brilliant luster. It was warm to the touch, probably from being in the sun all day, and the light refracting through it's prismatic body created the beautiful illusion of life.

She picked it up, feeling the soft material that the straps were made from. They too had a warmth to them, and felt like thick silk in her hooves.

"Let's see how you look on my head..." she whispered to herself. She positioned the horn right under her 'Pinkie puff' as she called it. "Right where Twilight's horn is" she thought. She nabbed the straps, and attached them together at her chin with the barely visible little clip that made the attached strips look almost seamless.

She giggled at herself in the mirror. Pinkie Pie, the Unicorn. She felt weird with a big... stick just popping out of her forehead. How did unicorns manage not to laugh at themselves all day.

"Ooh, I could put it on Pound Cake and have him pretend to be an Alicorn. He would love that." Pinkie scanned her room, searching for the picture of the Cake Twins that she kept.

"There you are" she murmured. It was on the other side of her room, so she began to wal—

The picture moved.

"Eep!" Pinkie yelped, falling back into the wall behind her. "Why did you move!"

Unexpectedly, the picture failed to give an answer.

"It's... like..."

Pinkie had an idea. A clever, possible idea. She focused on the painting, willing it to...

It moved again.

She glanced up at the glittery stick of diamond strapped onto her head. Whenever Twilight used magic, her horn glowed. So...

The horn covered itself with a pink aura.

Pinkie Pie grinned. "Well, aren't you a fun little thing." So her new hat was functional.

She focused on the picture again, hoping to actually achieve lift this time. Immediately, it levitated about an inch off the table.

"It's like magic..." Pinkie thought, before realizing the truth. "It is magic!" I've found a magical horn! What should I do first? I could create background music for a song in town... ooh, I could make an infinite supply of cupcakes! Or..." she smiled. "I wonder..."

Pinkie looked up at the translucent horn. "Create chocolate." she said aloud.

Nothing happened.

Pinkie spoke louder. "Create chocolate!"

Again, nothing.

She sighed. "I suppose it can't make chocolate, then. Oh... it would be so nice though... warm, smooth chocolate... I can almost smell it—"

She could smell it. Pinkie looked up, and was greeted by a slow dribble of liquid brown heaven coming from her horn.

"Oh!" she squealed with delight. She focused harder, willing for the chocolate to drip down to her mouth.

Not a moment later, the chocolate found its way down into her watering mouth. Her face suffered from this, the sticky candy leaving a trail, but it was well worth it.

"Mmmmmm..." she spoke through her mouthful of horn-made-chocolate. "Chocolatey..."

Again, she had an idea. An absolutely, extraordinarily Pinkie Pie idea.

"Cover me in chocolate" she willed the horn. "I want to be head to hoof in milk choc—"

The horn had already responded to her desire with a wonderful gush of creamy ambrosia.

"Starting to get to know what I want, are w—mhmphh." she hadn't time to finish her sentence, as the chocolate had already engulfed her face.

A few seconds later, Pinkie was completely encased in liquid chocolate.

Without even having to gather the thought together, the horn hardened the chocolate into a delicious shell around her, which she perfectly separated down the middle.

Pinkie wobbled her way out of the chocolate mould, and then sealed the two sides back into one.

Chocolatey-Life-Sized-Pinkie-Pie.

She giggled. "Hello, Chocolate Pie."

.............................................................

"La la... so sweet and tasty..." Pinkie hummed to herself. She was testing out her new horn by making cupcakes.

A hundred cupcakes.

"Flour, sugar, water, vanilla..." as she listed off the ingredients, she amused herself at watching them literally fly off the shelves into her plethora of mixing bowls.

"Whaddya' think, Chocolate Pie?" Pinkie asked. "Is my magic impressive?"

The chocolate statue failed to reply.

She looked at the work that she had completed. One bowl of cupcake batter filled two sheets of cupcakes. One sheet made a dozen cupcakes—with five bowls of batter; she would have a total of 120 cupcakes.

Pinkie crossed her eyes. Since when did she do random math like that? "I should stop talking with Twilight so much." she thought, affection towards her geeky friend making her smile.

"Alright, guys, into the cupcake sheets!" Pinkie commanded. Of course, her commands were now pointless, but she felt like a magician when everything seemed to respond to her voice.

The five bowls levitated into the air, pink with Pinkie's magic. They each poured out their contents into the cupcake sheets, more or less perfectly.

"Now... can I cook them without an oven?" Pinkie asked her chocolatey friend. "Ooh! I'll use a heat wave!"

Pinkie had no idea what a heat wave was, but she somehow knew how to make one. At her command, the molecules of air and metal surrounding the raw batter vibrated, causing vast amounts of heat to bake the cupcakes in a matter of minutes.

"Yum!" she exclaimed. "Look, Chocopie, aren't they just delicious looking?"

Chocopie was speechless.

"Oh, right! Icing!" without a second thought towards the idea, multicolored streams of sugary icing streamed from Pinkie's horn, covering the cupcakes with a colorful array of decoration.

"Perfect!" Pinkie squeaked with triumph. "Mr. Cake!"

Mr. Cake walked in, a list of chores practically pressed against his eyes. "What is it Pin... kie... pie..." his eyes suddenly caught the hundred cupcakes, and then Pinkie's horn. "Pinkie... how did... why do you have..."

"This should fill my quota for awhile, right?" Pinkie asked nonchalantly.

"Uh..."

"Do you mind if I take the day off?"

Mr. Cake blinked. "Sure.. but where did you get a ho—"

"Bye!" Pinkie chirped.

Mr. Cake's eyes never left Pinkie as she bounced out of Sugarcube Corner. After she left, he left the kitchen, hoping to forget about the impossible number of cupcakes that the hopefully nonexistent Pinkiecorn had created.

.............................................................

"Wow, Pinkie, it's so pretty." Fluttershy remarked.

"Thanks, Fluttershy." Pinkie crossed her eyes down at her hay fries, searching for one that wasn't completely covered in ketchup.

"I'm probably not the pony who would be best to judge... but it really matches your coat so well. The pink crystal and pink strap... how did you fin—"

"What?"

Fluttershy's ears flattened against her head. "Um. I was just saying—"

"What color did you say the horn was?" Pinkie demanded.

"P-pink..." Fluttershy whimpered. Had she said something wrong?

Pinkie looked up. The once diamond colored crystal now appeared to be a translucent pink, and the straps were nearly invisible against her pink coloring.

"Oh, i'm sorry Fluttershy" Pinkie cooed. "I could have sworn it was a different color when I bought it. Weird."

"O-oh." Fluttershy filled with relief at that. "Sorry."

Pinkie smiled. "You're way too cute for your own good. Why hasn't some big strong stallion just scooped you up yet?

Fluttershy blushed, nervous about the conversations turn. "I'm not that cute..."

Pinkie seemed to ignore Fluttershy's protest. "You probably inherited some a-dow-a-ble-ness from all those little animals you hang out with."

"Like Angel Bunny?" Fluttershy perked up at the relieving swing from love interests to her animals.

Pinkie smiled at her relief. "mmhmm."

Fluttershy took a bite of her delicious sunflower salad. "Are you sure that it's safe?"

Pinkie licked off a bit of ketchup from a fry. "What, the horn?"

Fluttershy nodded.

"Of course, what could possibly be dangerous about it?"

"Well.. it changed color..." Fluttershy blushed.

Pinkie rolled her eyes. "Oh, no! It's a color changing horn bomb! We're all doomed!"

Fluttershy giggled. "It's possible Pinkie."

"And why would a weak little thing like Vernula try to blow me up?"

Fluttershy blinked. "Vernula?"

"He's the pony who sold me the horn. Small little thing." she explained.

"No, I know that. I just recognize his name from somewhere..." Fluttershy concentrated. "Oh! It's because it's not just a name, it's a word from Pegalatin that I learned in flyers school. All pegasi are required to learn it. I remember how Rainbow Dash always had to have me help her with her homework, and sometimes cheat on her tests and this one time she even—"

"Fluttershy" Pinkie interrupted.

"Hm? Oh, sorry." Fluttershy's face reddened again.

"Pinkie laughed. "So, what does the word mean?"

"Fluttershy thought for a second. "Um... servant, I think."

"Weird name" Pinkie concluded.

Chimicherrychangas

Chimicherrychangas

"Sweet sparkling Celestia, magic is fun." Pinkie thought. "Why the hay doesn't everypony buy one of these horns?"

Cupcakes were fillies play to Pinkie Pie. She had more advanced things in mind with her magic: teleporting.

"...focus on moving your aura... non-dynamic aetherial shift... do not teleport to the same plane of space as another object, molecular splicing will occur." Pinkie smiled. "Okay!"

She concentrated on the space she had cleared in her room. Twilight blinked all over the place, how hard could it be for Pinkie to do it? Remembering the book she had 'borrowed' from Twilight's library, Pinkie focused on her aura. Every unicorn's aura had a different feel; whether it's a taste or a maybe an emotion or smell. Pinkie's aura was so obviously Pinkie Pie: as sweet as cotton candy and filled with joy.

She threw her cotton-candy self at the spot, and smoothly blinked through the air, ending up on the other side of the room.

"Well. That was easy." She teleported back, landing right back where she had started. "Why does magic kindergarten even exist? This is easy peasy cherry squeezy."

Pinkie then craved a chimicherrychanga.

"Oh, powerful and ancient lords of magic, gift me with the great power of a chimicherrychanga." Pinkie commanded, pointlessly chanting simply for the fun of it.

A plate of golden brown, powered sugar covered chimicherrychangas materialized in front of Pinkie.

"Ha!" she squeed. "Ooh, I even made a plate this time! I'm getting good at this. What do you think, Chocopie?"

Chocopie probably agreed.

The chimicherrychangas were perfectly done—not to sweet or sour, not too greasy. Just right.

"Mmmmhmmmm" Pinkie mumbled approvingly as she devoured the first chimicherrychanga. "Much better than I could ever make myself. Yum..."

Pinkie was starting to really appreciate the ability to use magic. If she was ever hungry, she could summon food. If she was ever hurt, she could heal right back up. "Ponies without horns are missing out. Big-time." Pinkie acknowledged. "Why don't all unicorns just summon food like this?"

.............................................................

"Dang, Pinkie, these things are good eatin'" Applejack commented with a mouthful of fried cherry.

"Thanks. I have a bunch extra, so I'm handing them out to everypony. Plus, I had hoped you would finally try a chimicherrychanga."

Applejack winced a bit at the oh-so familiar word. "S' a bit weird that you found that horn though."

"I didn't find it; it found me." Pinkie stated soberly.

Applejack blinked. "Huh?"

Sharking her head, she replied "Forgot where I was going with that. Dunno why I said it."

Applejack took another bite of chimicherrychanga. "Hey, Pinkie, think you could help me with somethin'?"

Pinkie smiled. "Sure, AJ, what is it?"

"Well, I was gonna ask Twilight... but could you help fix up the barn?" Applejack glanced at the huge red structure in the distance.

Pinkie stared at it for awhile. "What's wrong with it?"

Applejack's face reddened. "Well, ya' see... Winona and I accidentally crashed the cows into the other side. Uh... just come n' see." She tipped her hat to Pinkie slightly, then trotted off towards the sun baked red barn.

Pinkie watched Applejack as she walked towards the barn. When she was about ten feet away from it, Pinkie decided to test out her new-found teleportation ability... by blinking right in front of her face.

"What in tarn—Pinkie!" Applejack screamed.

"Yes, Applejack?" Pinkie asked sweetly.

"Do ya' have to scare the livin' hay outta me?" She huffed.

"Party pooper" Pinkie teased.

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Anyway, think you can fix it?" She gestured towards the barn. It did indeed look like a stampede had smashed right into it; there was a large hole in the middle, and splintery wood embroidered the area around it.

The boards around the edge of the gaping hole appeared bent inwards at an angle—they reminded Pinkie of broken bones.

"Oh... jeez." Pinkie acknowledged. "How did you manage that?"

Applejack blushed at having to go into depth with her story. "We were herding them just fine, but Winona musta' seen a bird or somethin'. She just bolted off to the left... and the cows smashed right into Ol' Rusty."

Pinkie suppressed a chuckle. "You named your barn?"

"Yeah, doesn't everypony?"

"I don't think everypony even has a barn, AJ."

Applejack shrugged. "Well, if they did, ah'm sure they would give it a name."

Shaking her head, Pinkie continued the discussion at hand. "Anyway, is all the wood here? If it is, I'm sure I can create a basic matter detection field and cast a reproduction charm to re-piece the severed molecules into the original material layout."

Applejack blinked. "What the hay did you just say?"

"Basically, if none of the wood was swept away or anything, I can use magic to figure out where all the pieces go."

"Whooey. Have you been talkin' with Twilight about that there horn?"

"Actually, I haven't even shown it too her." Pinkie looked up at the crystaline stalactite protruding from her head. "I probably should, she might be able to give me some pointers..."

Applejack nodded in agreement. "Alright. We didn't sweep away any of the wood, so ya' should be able to do your... er... matter-detection doohickey."

"Mmhmm." Pinkie Pie closed her eyes, sweeping the area around her for remains of 'Rusty'. Aside from the obvious pieces, her search led her into finding thousands of microscopic shards of the auburn wood. "Dang, those cows can move."

When she was satisfied that she had found all the scraps, Pinkie focused her attention on the barn itself. She felt the remaining traces of energy from when the barn was fully intact, and began to mentally piece together everything. A few splinters here, a few there. Pretty soon, she had a mental picture of where every single piece of wood went—not bad for her first large-scale spell.

"Alright, little splinters, go fix yourselves up" She mentally cooed to her inanimate chunks of wood.

A flurry of large and small pieces of maroon wood tore past Applejack and Pinkie, piecing themselves in the form of a wall, as if drawn their by... well... magic.

"Cool! Now... become a wall!"

Evidently, the wood that Pinkie had chosen that day was extremely obedient. All of the chunks of roughly cut pine began to fuse together, as if they had all became clay. Before Pinkie even knew what she was doing, the wall was completely fixed.

"Wow, Pinkie. You sure have learned some stuff with that horn you've got there." Applejack's mind was filled with awe as she tapped her now perfectly repaired barn.

"I've only read a few books..." Pinkie blushed a bit. "I really don't know how I did that. Must have read a chapter on repairing or something."

"You should talk to Twilight, maybe she'll make you her apprentice or something."

Pinkie chortled. "She would love that. Great idea. See ya' later, AJ."

Applejack stared lovingly at her barn. "Bye!"

.............................................................

Pinkie stared hard at her reflection in the mirror. Was there some wood left on her coat? No, she was still bubblegum pink, as usual.

Did her hair look different? Nope; the curls puffs fell in basically the same way that they always did.

"Oh, Pickles. What the hay is different?" Pinkie crossed her eyes. "I swear, I look different in my mirror..."

Suddenly, it hit Pinkie. Her horn had changed color again.

"Oh!" Pinkie whimpered, not sure of the emotions going through her head. Her once translucent horn had now completely fogged up. It still retained the shiny pink glow that it always had, but you could no longer see through the shard of crystalline beauty.

"Why are you changing..." Pinkie asked the horn, as if expecting a reply. "Do you change based on the time of day? Or based on my mood? Or... if I'm..." Pinkie interuppted herself with a long and drawn out yawn. "Tired... okay, I'll nap for a bit; but then I need to go ask Twilight about this!"

Pinkie crawled into her fluffy pink bed, nestling under the down comforters that Rarity got her on her birthday. Almost immediately, she felt the intoxicating tug of sleep drag her down into her subconscious dream-land.

There were voices.

The voices began as soft whispers, maybe things that Pinkie had heard earlier in the day... but they grew louder. Pinkie could not react to these whispers; she couldn't even see where she was. All she could do was hear them, and each word burned into her mind like she had spent weeks studying them.

"Vernula..." the voice whispered. "Tu vernulo..." The voice dug its way into Pinkie's subconscious, filling the front of her mind with its toneless abyss.

Pinkie's eyes shot open and she found herself surrounded with bleak, grey stone. "Where the hay am I!" She yelled, fear welling up inside of her. "Am I still dreaming?"

Although nobody was speaking, she felt the darkness reply to her pleas. Flashes of herself, her friends... the darkness showed her everything that she ever knew.

"Mea..." it whispered. The whisper sounded like nothing Pinkie had ever heard before. It was like trying to describe what your mind sounds like when you talk to yourself; it was just... a voice. "Omni mea..."

"Who are you!?" Pinkie screeched, dreading over where the voice was... or what it was.

"Agnitio... dator..."

Pinkie awoke, tearing herself from her once welcoming bed. "Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod..." She panted, relieved to be out of that horribly dark place. "What in the name of Celestia was that?"

Pinkie glanced at her clock. Barely five minutes had passed since she had napped, but she felt like she had slept for ten hours.

Pinkie suddenly felt a jolt of remembrance. "That.. thing. It said 'vernula'! It was speaking Pegalatin! I need to go talk to Fluttershy..."

.............................................................

"Fluttershy!" Pinkie screamed, running towards her yellow friend. She had been spending the last twenty minutes looking for her, and had found her talking to animals at the park.

"Wha—" Fluttershy began, before Pinkie was on top of her.

"Ohmygodfluttershyyouknowhowyouspeakpegalatin?" She began, her excitement engaging her into Pinkie-Mode. "WellIhadadreamandthiscreepyvoicespoketomeandIthinkitwassayingstuffinpegalatincanyoutranslateitformeplease?"

Fluttershy whimpered.

"Oops." Pinkie blushed, lifting herself off of Fluttershy. "You okay?"

Fluttershy nodded quickly, still frozen from Pinkie's sudden appearance.

"Can you talk?"

"Mm... um... y-yes."

Pinkie sighed. "Sorry for scaring you, but... I really need your help."

Fluttershy swallowed. "What do you need?"

Pinkie told her story. She told Fluttershy about the voice, and of how her horn was continuing to change its color.

"Okay... what did the voice say?" Fluttershy asked, beginning to worry for Pinkie.

"Uh... the first thing it said was... 'Tu vernulo'." Pinkie Pie strained to recall what she had heard.

"That means 'You are my servant.'" Fluttershy translated, her eyes widening.

"Then it said 'Mea, omni mea'"

"'Mine, all mine."

Pinkie Pie closed her eyes, focusing on the dream. "Lastly... I asked who it was. All it said was 'Agnitio dator.'"

Fluttershy pursed her lips. "Uh... let's see. Conjugate... decline... I think that means 'Bringer of Knowledge."

Pinkie furrowed her brow. "Bringer of Knowledge? That doesn't sound bad... but why is the Bringer of Knowledge talking to me in my sleep?"

"Um."

"It's almost as if he's trying to contact me. Am I chosen or something? Does the world need me?"

"Um, Pink—"

"What if Agnitio Dator is like an incarnation of Starswirl the Bearded trying to send me on some sort of a quest in order to save the fate of eque—"

"Pinkie Pie!" Fluttershy squeaked.

Pinkie blushed. "Sorry, Fluttershy. Did you want to say something?"

Fluttershy sighed. "Yeah. The person who gave you your horn's name is Vernula, which is a Pegalatin name."

"So?"

"The voice was speaking Pegalatin..."

Pinkie blinked. "So?"

Fluttershy bit her lip, not wanting to be sassy to Pinkie's ignorance. "So... maybe the fact that you heard stuff in Pegalatin..."

"Means that my horn is the reason that I heard the voices?" Pinkie stared up at it. "But it's just a horn..."

"A horn that gave you magical powers." Fluttershy corrected.

"Pff." Pinkie snorted. "It's perfectly harm—"

"Pinkie Pie." A mare suddenly spoke.

Pinkie turned to her right; it was Twilight. "Oh, hi Twi—"

"Pinkie..." Twilight stared at her pink friend. "There is a demon latched onto your skull."

Agnitio Dator

Agnitio Dator

"There's a what on my what?" Pinkie asked, not quite taking in what Twilight had said.

"There. Is a demon. On your head." Twilight spoke flatly, like she was stating the simplest of truths in the universe.

Pinkie went... well... Pinkie.

"Ohmygoshohmygoshgetitoffofmeaahhhhhhhhhhhh" She screeched, her words combining together like ice cream in a blender. "Whatdoyoumeanthereisademononmyheadisitmyhairohmygodibetit'smyhairwhatdidIdoohIknewIshouldn'thaveletthatnewhairdresserdoanythingtoitohpicklestwilightwhatamIgoingtodooooo..."

"Pinkie!"

"IsitabloodsuckingdemonohIbetit'sgoingtosuckmedryohmygosh"

"Pinkie Pie!" Twilight screamed at the top of her lungs, letting lose a wave of magical energy to ensnare the frantic 'blender'.

Pinkie whimpered. "Wh-what do you mean there's a demon on m-my head..."

Twilight bites her lip slightly. "Oh, I was lying. I just wanted to see how you would react."

Pinkie Pie lets out a sigh of relief. "Twilight! You scared the living hay out of me!"

"Yeah. Feel better?"

Pinkie nods.

"Good, because that was to calm you down. Okay, Celestia has been giving me lessons on Romane Mythology, and there's a lot of stories about demons." Twilight explains, saying everything as fast as she could so she could make her point before Pinkie realized what she was saying.

"Wait you lied to m—hmpphhh" before Pinkie could start rousing herself up into another freak-out, Twilight conjured the most useful substance in the world to stop her from talking...

...duct tape!

"Anyway..." Twilight continued. "After Fluttershy told me about your horn, I has assumed that it was just some sort of toy that you had bought. Enchanted little trinkets like that are pretty common, actually. But, once Applejack started raving about how you fixed her barn in less than five seconds... well... I got a little suspicious."

"Mmmphmmpmhpppmmhph?" Pinkie pondered intelligently.

"Er... okay...?" Twilight honestly had no idea what Pinkie Pie had said.

"Mmpph—" Pinkie rolled her eyes as her horn began to shine a brilliant pink. The wave of silky magical energy flowed over the duct tape like warm water, and pulled it right off of her face.

"Suspicious?" Pinkie asked, before replacing the duct tape right over her mouth.

Twilight stared at Pinkie. Not because of the magic... but more so because she couldn't comprehend why somepony who could get duct tape off of their mouth would willingly put it back on. "Uh, yeah. Magical artifacts that powerful don't really... exist."

Pinkie removed the tape again. "What do you mean? Then how do I have this one?"

"Well, because that's a demon." Twilight said flatly.

Pinkie had forgotten about that for the time being... yet, sadly, Twilight seemed to have reminded her.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEmpmpmpmpmmpphhh" Once pinkie began screaming, Twilight countered her magic with her own, holding the duct tape to Pinkie's frantic lips.

"I read some books that Celestia gave me, and I learned about demons who disguise themselves as powerful artifacts. They were extremely common back before Canterlot's government was established over Equestria, as raw power used to give a pony political power." Twilight explained, the explanation more for her own benefit then Pinkie's.

Pinkie didn't seem to be listening. She was too busy wishing that she was able to scream.

Fed up with Pinkie's outbursts, Twilight ended her speech. "Do you recognize the name: Agnitio Dator?"

Pinkie Pie suddenly stopped, nodding a frantic 'Yes' at Twilight.

"Okay... good... where did you hear it?"

"IhearditinadreamthatIhadthiscreepythingsaiditanditscaredthelivingpicklesoutofmeohmygoditwassosca—"

"Say it slowly, Pinkie Pie" the aggravated lavender unicorn suggested.

Pinkie took a deep breath, calming her screaming synapses with much needed oxygen. "Okay, I had this dream a few nights ago. It was really creepy, and this thing told me its name was Agnitio Dator. Fluttershy told me it translated to Bringer of Knowledge. It spoke to me—"

"—a day or two after you got the horn." Twilight finished.

"Uh, yeah. How did you..."

Twilight took in a deep breath. "Agnitio Dator is an obscure demon... but it's still a powerful one."

Pinkie gulped, biting her lip.

"It's called the Bringer of Knowledge because... that's what it does." Twilight scratched her chin, looking for a way to explain. "Quick, what's the square root of Pi?"

"One-point-seven-seven-two-four-fi— oh wow." Pinkie crossed her eyes. "I never did that well in math class..."

"Precisely. Agnitio Dator gives you the intelligence of a Romane Fillysopher."

"So why is he... she... oh hay what gender is this thing. Why is it a bad thing?"

Twilight bit her lip. "It drains your life away. Many Romanes used to call it things like 'headcrab'. Those who it binds to tend to only live half-lives."

"WaitsothatmeansthatitISavampireohmygodisitsuckingmyblo—" Pinkie Pie interrupter herself, taking another deep breath. "So how do we get it off?"

"Well, that's the tricky part. Agnitio Dator binds to a pony's soul based on a contractual agreement. Which means—"

"That in order for it to actually become latched onto anypony, or removed from anypony, it must fulfill the needs of a contract. Like when I bought it from Vernula."

Twilight gaped at Pinkie, somewhat glad that she didn't have to explain anything. She was also somewhat disappointed. "Yeah... basically."

"So why don't we just sell it to some factory in Manehatten so it can become a bunch of sparkly, pink sprinkles?"

Twilight rolled her eyes. No matter how intelligent she will ever be, Pinkie Pie is Pinkie Pie. "Disregarding the idea of eating a demon... no, that won't work."

Pinkie Pie's ears drooped. "Why not?"

"Agnitio Dator uses a magical loop hole to prevent its host from— okay, do you just want to say that it's a boy? It feels... weird, talking about something that's alive without giving it a gender."

Pinkie nodded.

Twilight seemed to be pleased, as if the sudden change in grammar made all the difference in the universe. "Okay. Basically, the spell he casts is that he grants a pony knowledge and magical power in exchange for their life force."

"Yeah?"

"Now, because he's granting a pony magic..." Twilight stared into the sky, glancing at the sun for a moment before turning back to Pinkie. "...he had to connect his own aura to his subjects—"

Pinkie interrupted her friend. "Meaning that he is using my magic to prevent me from selling the horn."

"Yup." Twilight took a raspy breath, turning her back on the hot sun. "You can only sell it when he wants you to. He'll wait until you have barely any life remaining, and force you to use the rest of your energy to find a suitable new subject.

"Uh... Twilight?" a tiny voice whispered.

Twilight turned suddenly, and was face to face with Fluttershy. "Oh, hi Fluttershy. I completely forgot you were there."

Fluttershy was no stranger to this happening, evidently. "If Pinkie can't sell Agnitio Dator... how do we get him off of her head?"

"Well... that's the thing here. I'm not entirely sure." Twilight pursed her lips.

Fluttershy's eyes widened. "Oh gosh, we should ask Celestia. Maybe she can he—"

"No!" Twilight nearly screamed. "Fluttershy, I found no records of anyone successfully removing Agnitio Dator without a contract. I doubt Celestia has a method either. She'd probably just..." Twilight bit her hoof rather hard, nearly drawing blood.

Pinkie Pie's eyes had been filled with a sort of existential dread. "What would she do, Twilight?"

Twilight ceased trying to eat her leg. "She would banish you from Equestria. Maybe throw you in a dungeon."

Fluttershy whimpered. "Why would she do something like that?"

"She would do it for the safety of Equestria, Fluttershy. That's why she trapped her own sister in the moon for a thousand years. If she can keep Pinkie away from other ponies, Agnitio Dator won't be able to find another host when Pinkie..." Twilight gulped, not able to say the last word. "So we have to solve this by ourselves."

"No we don't!" Pinkie squealed, falling out of her moment of depression.

"What do you mean?" Twilight was only half paying attention, the stress of the moment overcoming her.

"If Agnitio Dator is bound to my mind, then I'm bound to his. Right? I read in a book that mind based spells are double sided, so a pony can always break a spell like that..."

"Wait, you read in a book? Where the hay did you g—"

Before Twilight realized where Pinkie had acquired her book, Pinkie jumped in. "It doesn't matter! The important part is that I may be able to get into his mind. I may be able to find out a way to get him off of me!"

Fluttershy looked skittish. To be honest, when didn't she? "Are you sure it's safe?"

"No, but what could he do that he hasn't done already?" Pinkie's mind was working frantically, the intelligence-boost from her ol' buddy Agnicio making her think even faster. "Twilight, how much time do I have left before he starts... you know... eating me from the inside."

"When did you get the horn?" Twilight's mood has improved; even she thought the plan could work.

"Uh... I got the horn, showed it to Fluttershy, went to bed, and earlier today I helped Applejack... so It's been like a day and a half, counting today."

Twlight closed her eyes for a minute, remembering what she had read.

"Oh sweet Celestia." Twilight swore. "Pinkie, you have until Midnight."

Pinkie Pie, instead of freaking out (as she would like to have), kept herself in a state of anxious acceptance. "Why the hay does magic always have a time limit of midnight?"

Twilight shrugged. "He's kind of a vampire. Maybe he's scared of werewolves?"

Pinkie Pie forced out a chuckle. "We'll find out soon I guess. Alright, how should I go about doing this?"

Twilight pondered about that for a moment. "Okay, I'm going to try to teach you how to get into your own mind."

Pinkie nodded.

"Think of a word, and say it over and over again. Make sure the word is something like a door or a boat; something you can interact with or enter.

Pinkie decided to think of a bathtub...

...filled with chocolate.

"Okay... got it..." Pinkie's mouth was watering at the thought of a porcelain tub of milky chocolate.

"Now imagine every part of it. What color it is, how old it is... things like that."

Pinkie Pie decided to add balloons to the bathtub, because why the hay wouldn't she? She imagine the balloons lifting the tub up into the air, carrying a chocolatey yet confusing delight over Equestria.

"Good." Twilight said, surprised to see Pinkie's horn beginning to glow. For first time casters, this spell tended to take much longer to succeed at. "Now, remember when I told you to make sure you could interact with it? Whatever you created, I want you to perform the interaction. Now."

Pinkie Pie nodded, and visualized herself diving into the tub of chocolate... or heaven, at least to Pinkie. She felt a pull within her, kind of like the oceans undertow, all directed towards her horn.

"Alright, Pinkie." Twilight said, her pink friends horn shining like a star. "You're about to experience your own sentience. Once you're within yourself, everything should feel completely normal to you, except for a few minor details; those details are breadcrumbs left by Agnitio Dator. Follow them, and you should be able to enter his conscience."

Pinkie nodded, the tug getting stronger by the second. "Alright, demoney horn, mama Pinkie's comin' in."

(Not a chapter) You haven't seen my newest chapter!!!

There's been a bug lately where a lot of you haven't actually seen the newest chapter, due to notification bugs.

As far as I can tell from the Admins, the bug is fixed, which means you probably are about to experience some new Pinkie and the Brain content. I'm making this post to see if y'all get inbox notifications, and can see the newest chapter.

And yes, the next chapter is done. And yes, I will post it soon.

Love you guys.