Honorary Crusader

by Aklinstar

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Discord, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 45701

An alternative take on Discord's redemption involving a certain trio of fillies during the season 2 premiere.

Discord is not typically known for having a plan b. After all, who needs one when you were as powerful as he? However, when he found out that a certain chaos inducing trio, who had freed him from his prison early, were sisters (well mostly) with the bearers of the elements of harmony, he saw an opportunity. With a plan that was already guaranteed to succeed, why not add a little more chaos to the mix? Couldn't be that hard to manipulate a small group of fillies, right? Right?

Takes place during the season 2 premiere. An alternative take on Discord's redemption.

Inspired by a certain comic involving Discord and the CMC.

Huge thank you to DustyDominic for proofreading!

Published 2022-09-27 22:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-04-27 18:08:21 UTC

Chapter 3: This is Where the Fun Begins

It was packed at the most popular salon on the opposite side of Chaosville. A cacophony of incoherent babblings filled the air as all the Discords milled about minding their own business. Many of them grumbled in the waiting area, waiting impatiently for their turn to be beautified. They wore everything, from business casual to maid attire.

One was fast asleep, with his arm draped to the sides of his chair, not unlike a ragdoll. Drool waterfalled out from his gaping maw, splashing a nearby Discord’s magazine, featuring a peculiar yellow Pegasus with black and pink hair. Scowling, he shoved the magazine into the offending orifice, causing the waterflow to build up. The Discord snorted, or tried to snort, as he was rudely awoken, but the blockage caused him to inhale like a vacuum cleaner. He sputtered and coughed as he fumbled about. None paid him any mind as he started convulsing on the floor.

“You don’t need to breathe, you know, but some points are in order for the theatrics, I suppose,” said one of the nearby Discords in a boorish voice as he finished filing his claws. He was sporting a beret and beige turtleneck sweater.

The enraged—or, rather, deranged—Discord slammed the broken glass door on his way out so hard he caused it to repair itself back to its full pristine glory.

The other Discords in the waiting area exhibited varying levels of interest as they watched through a cloudy window the one who started the commotion, taking off on his tiny moped, driving erratically, cutting off traffic. A peculiar green slime individual wound down their window to shake a green appendage at the perpetrator.

“Now THAT’S drama, bravo!” the beret Discord exclaimed, clapping his hands. Many of the Discords rolled their eyes, others shrugged before turning their attention back to whatever they were doing. The buzz of white noise filled the cheap candle-scented air once more.

The most handsome Discord lounged comfortably in his swivel chair as a stylist dipped his paw into a tub of paraffin wax.

The stylist, continuing his apparent routine, asked, “Don’t you have something important you need to do right about now?” He tapped his chin. “Something about… bringing the bearers of the Elements of Harlotry to Canterwhat or whatever?”

Discord looked at him for the first time since manifesting the place.

“I’ve got that covered! I’ve sent the best draconequus I know to keep me up-to-date on the process of prodding them out of Baloneygrill,” he said, while the stylist struggled with the logistics of fitting the hair dryer over his head. Scowling, he took out a cookie cutter conveniently placed in a nearby drawer to stamp out some room for his horns. Satisfied, he reached around to grab a filer on a table.

“Ahem,” Discord coughed out, pointing to the back of his neck, where most of his mane was still not covered by the dryer. The stylist smiled sheepishly as he reached behind the dryer, yanking the back of it downward to reach the base of Discord’s neck. With a nod of approval, the stylist went back for the filer.

“Besides, Celestia is likely in the know at this point, so I’m sure she’ll frantically send them a letter or whatever,” he exclaimed, waving his claw, annoying the stylist who was trying to work on it.

A choppy voice came to life over a hand-held radio, “Lord of... ...ger of dish... copy? Ov...”

Discord smacked his hand-held radio several times using his still covered in wax paw to do so, much to the further annoyance of the stylist.

“Confounded…” he muttered, banging it on the arm of his chair. The device made a terrible sound in response that fell somewhere in between a squealing pig and a turbulent ocean shore. "I should have accounted for dimensional interference.”

Giving one more smack for good luck, he tried to make contact. “This is the Lord of Chaos speaking. How’s the chaos-filled fun going? Over,” he stated, making a “Bzzz” sound with his mouth as he let go of the button.

“...n’t catch that. Over,” the voice said, still mostly incoherent and greatly frustrating Discord.

“Oh, for goodness’ sake!” He promptly stood up, the hair dryer snapping and coming along with him. He took it off and threw it to the ground, making quite the mess. All the Discords stopped to stare at him.

“Sorry fellas, but I need to cut things short, it seems. Need to make sure everything is coming along smoothly after all~” he said as held his digits together in a grip and batted his eyelashes.

His expression quickly turned sour. He snapped his claw. A small black hole formed on the floor. Small appliances flew in first, causing it to start to grow quickly. Discords screamed as they bumped into each other. The hole unrelentingly started swallowing larger appliances, as well as a few unfortunate nearby Discords.

Discord snapped his claw and disappeared in a flash.

It was a beautiful, chaos-filled day. The birds were screaming, the grass was preening. Everything was perfect. The trusted confidant of Discord occupied an outpost on a hill nearby to Ponyville, enjoying the view through his binoculars while munching on a cucumber sandwich. He glanced up as a flash of light quickly pulled him from his thoughts.

“Discord! How wonderful it is for you to–”

His eyes popped out of his sockets as he was flattened by a comically large plastic mallet. Discord discourteously threw him, not unlike a boomerang, into a makeshift gateway.

“Yes, I know I’m wonderful. Yada, yada, yada…” he muttered waving a claw. He was not particularly keen on being sucked up to at the moment, no matter how much his pride swelled up each and every time. Right now, he didn’t have the luxury of time to ensure his plan went accordingly—Discordingly, rather. He snorted as he took the binoculars left behind and checked in on his little project.

He watched as pink clouds raced sporadically throughout the sky above Tortelliniville. A blue blur shot through the end-to-end of his lens. He tried to keep up, but his eyes ended up getting tangled in the workings of the binoculars. He melted them and opted to use his eyes instead. His eyes twisted to zoom in and out. He watched as the Pegasus got gunked up in cotton candy, before being relentlessly drenched in chocolate milk. Discord busted out laughing, falling to the ground. He wiped a tear away, mirth bubbling up.

He kept watching as the ponies in town became frantic. He saw one particular red-maned, beige-coated mare faint as her flowers uprooted and became animate. The flowers, unsure, shrugged before running around her and terrorizing the other citizens.

A home smashed a nearby cabbage cart, much to the dismay of the owner.

The leaves of trees rapidly changed colors, mesmerizing some and causing seizures for others.

A thrown frisbee smacked its recipient and stuck to his coat like glue. He screamed for help as it slowly spread covering his whole body. His friends glanced at each other and slowly backed away before turning around and sprinting.

Balloons formed faces, and started dribbling on the ground, causing foals to cry and the confused vendor to sheepishly shrug at the mother, who promptly slapped him.

Although most didn’t seem to appreciate his work—much to his annoyance, considering all the hard work that had gone into it—Discord saw that there were a few, particularly some foals who were laughing and playing fetch with a cat-and-dog hybrid, much to the cat half’s annoyance as it was dragged by its face as the dog chased the ball around.

Discord didn’t need approval for his actions. He didn’t actually care whether or not his work was cherished. However…

He continued watching as one foal was tackled by the hybrid, being relentlessly licked. They guffawed, flailing their hooves about. Other foals around joined in on the laughter.

…He certainly didn’t mind it.

A light bulb went off above his head, blinding him. He quickly shoved it back into his head.

Hmm, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to pay a little visit to my crusading chaotic confrères, he thought. He had a little time to spare after all, seeing as the bearers were still not alerted by their beloved Princess of his presence quite yet.

Before he left, he snapped a claw. More cotton candy clouds formed. This time they started moving about outside of the town, to bring the fun to the whole neighborhood. Satisfied that he had left his mark and his number would soon be called, he left in a flash.

There were only ten minutes left before the train was due to arrive at the station. It wasn’t particularly crowded that day, with reasonable noise levels. A baseline of low murmurs formed the background, with the occasional voice coming through the intercom system to communicate delays, departures, and, hopefully soon, arrivals.

“Sweetie Belle, do you have any notepaper I could use?”

Hopefully very soon.

“For the last time, Scootaloo, no!” she exclaimed, becoming increasingly miffed after being asked the same question five times during the short period they had been at the station.

Apple Bloom was in no better shape, sprawling out, taking up half the bench with her hooves dangling off the side. It was going to be a long ride back home. On top of dealing with Scootaloo for the next few hours, she knew on returning home she’d have more chores, on top of a paper due. She rolled to the side and groaned.

Scootaloo crossed her hooves and wore quite the glower. She’d already known the answer before asking the question. She’d known it the first time. However, she’d really hoped during that time she’d crossed some time-space convergence and arrived in a universe where her friends had some notepaper for her to use. She admitted to herself that she didn’t really think too hard about it. She sighed.

“Sorry… I just really was hoping I could finish that essay now, so I could spend time with Rainbow Dash.” She leaned on the arm of the bench, holding her head with a hoof. “But I guess I’ll just have to wait…”

“Scoots, why don’tcha jus’ ask some of our other classmates if they got any?” Apple Bloom asked, feeling slightly bad for her predicament. Only slightly.

Scootaloo sunk into the bench, sporting a ting of pink on her cheeks.

“Well, uh… I kind of don’t want to right now,” she said, staring at the ceiling.

Sweetie Belle knitted her eyebrows, turned to her, and asked, “Why not?”

“I may be a teensy tiny bit”—she tapped her chin—“not feeling up to it, after what happened at the donut place. Maybe I’ll ask on the train?” She gave a sheepish grin.

Sweetie Belle gave her a small smile, while Apple Bloom shrugged, which she passed off as just trying to get more comfortable on the bench.

“I know Rainbow Dash will show you her trick as soon as she gets back, Scoots.” Sweetie Belle looked over to Apple Bloom and prodded her nose, in response to which she got a sluggish bat from a sloth that missed by seconds. She giggled. Apple Bloom put on her best pout. “Besides! You can always spend time with us in the meantime, I’m sure we can cook up plenty of crusades to do while she’s gone!”

“As long as we don’t actually cook anything. I don’t want another green lasagna incident.” Scootaloo turned green herself at the mere thought.

Apple Bloom half snorted, half hiccupped.

“Ya, an’ whose fault was it for addin’ four cups of cilantro?” Her eyes swiveled up to the sight of a slightly pink marshmallow.

“I already told you guys I thought it was parsley! And I said I was sorry!”

Scootaloo brought a hoof up to Sweetie Belle’s lips. “The recipe called for, like, a quarter cup of the stuff. How’d you manage to not only get that wrong, but use the wrong ingredient, too?”

She brought her other hoof up to her ear, awaiting the inevitable brilliant response she was expecting.

“I, um… mixed that up with the measurements with the cheese? I didn’t really pay as much attention as I should have,” she said as she pulled her hind legs to her chest. She gave the best smile she could, which looked more like a grimace if anything. She looked away from them and rubbed the back of her head as she finished with, “And I… may have gone to a vendor, saw a going-out-of-business sale sign on the stuff, didn’t read beyond that because I thought it was parsley, and bought it.”

Scootaloo burst into a fit of giggles, falling on her back and banging her head on the arm of the bench.

“Ow!” She grimaced while trying to alleviate the pain by rubbing the spot. Apple Bloom just rocked her head side-to-side on the bench.

The intercom came to life: “The train to Ponyville will be arriving shortly. All passengers please ensure you have your tickets ready. If you have yet to purchase a ticket, please come to the nearest booth immediately so we can sort that out for you. Thank you.”

“Alright, my little ponies! Let’s gather around. I need to do a quick hoof count and make sure everyone is here.” Cheerilee brought out a clip board out of her saddlebag before placing it on a nearby bench.

“Twist, would you be a dear and hold this for a moment?”

Twist rushed over.

“Yes, Miss Cheerilee!” she said with a slight lisp, smiling brightly.

A certain lovely duo mouthed “Nerd” from behind her back, giggling.

Cheerilee noticed from the periphery of her vision and gave them a dangerous look that asked, Do you want me to make you do an essay on behavior and proper etiquette too? The two cringed before drooping their ears and looking away.

After doing a headcount, making sure everyone had their water bottles refilled for the ride back home, and ensuring nobody had to use the bathroom, the group headed outside just as the train started to come into view.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle trotted along together, while Scootaloo stayed a little behind, dragging her hooves. Her eyes were furrowed as she was lost in thought. "So... are we gonna talk about the weird barking bird from earlier or..."

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle turned their heads back to her. Apple Bloom opened her mouth to say something, but at that moment Twist bounded up to them with a slight skip in her step.

“What’d you guys think of that huge maze in the garden? I bet you could get lost so easily!” She stood in front of them, perhaps a little too closely, beaming.

“It was, um… neat?” Sweetie Belle said unsure, glancing back at Scootaloo before turning to Apple Bloom seeking validation.

“Ya, it sure was somethin’. Uh… Ah think Ah liked the flowers in the garden more than anythin’, if Ah’m bein’ honest… but the maze was alright.” Apple Bloom gave her a small smile and glanced back at Scootaloo for a moment before asking, “What’d ya think of the Wonderbolts stuff they had at the Royal Museum? Ah thought that General Firefly figure was pretty cool.”

Scootaloo’s ears perked up.

“Oh yeah, that was pretty cool! Especially–” Twist didn’t get a chance to finish that sentence as a bright flash temporarily blinded them all.

“I’mtakingthesebye,” a voice hurriedly stated, as a figure snatched up three fillies before disappearing. It happened so quickly that most didn’t see, still rubbing their eyes from the sudden change in brightness.

Scootaloo sputtered out, “G-guys!?” She ran to the spot they were last standing and frantically turned her head in each and every direction, seeking help.

Cheerilee, who was busy chatting with an old colleague, turned to see half her students in shock and the other half confused. She saw Scootaloo in full panic-mode, and quickly trotted up to her as she glanced around at all her students. She worriedly noted a few missing.

“Scootaloo? What happened to your frie–“

She stumbled back on her rump as another flash occurred, this one was very hard not to notice.

“Ooh, whoopsie!~ I didn’t order this one.” The bizarre figure dropped a dazed Twist to the ground, who quickly scrambled to her hooves and hid behind her teacher.

“Not my fault though, if you really think about it. You ponies all look the same. You should really consider putting that magic to good use and giving each other some shark fins—or perhaps pig snouts? Oh well! Don’t care. I’m taking this one too.” He snatched up a struggling Scootaloo.

“They’ll be back before dinner, probably. Don’t hold up for us. Au revoir!” he cackled, throwing his one unoccupied arm in a flourish. He left in another flash.

The stunned silence was interrupted by a train whistle, followed by, “All aboard!” the conductor yelled. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed that nopony was stepping up. “All ab–”

He was interrupted by a frantic maroon teacher shaking him.

“Some of my students have been foalnapped! Use that whistle around your neck, and alert the Royal Guard, NOW!” She stopped shaking him and started to hyperventilate.

The conductor’s eyes widened and quickly did as he was told. Nearby Pegasus royal guards swooped down to survey the situation.

One with a gruff voice asked, “What’s going on here?”

The other turned to see the teacher looking very jittery as she tried to calm herself. He poked his partner and nodded his head to her.

“Please, help! Some of my students have been foalnapped!” she cried out.

Their eyes widened ever so slightly. Foalnapped, in broad daylight in a crowded area, in Canterlot? They turned to each other for a moment before turning back to her.

She explained everything she knew, which they initially found a little hard to believe. However, after hearing very similar testimonies about a strange mismatched creature from other nearby civilians, as well as most of the young students, they took the situation seriously.

They would need to alert the Princess, now.

Author's Note

Woo, we're finally going to get some interactions between them! Anyway, still working on the dialogue punctuation, lots of kinks to work out. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed.

Chapter 4: Chaos and Effect

Scootaloo’s head spun, her insides felt like jelly, and for some reason, she tasted the distinct flavor of… chocolate milk?

“Scootaloo!” cried out two familiar voices in unison.

She raised her head and blinked slowly. She felt hooves wrap around her forelegs and help lift her up. She started violently coughing. She spat out what she thought was chocolate milk, only to discover it was-

“Grass? What the hay?”

“Such language! Oh, the youth these days… how it wounds me so! Celestia must have grown negligent with the education system in my absence. Not that I blame her, mind you; I’d likely do the same, if I were stricken by the grief of losing one such as I.”

They turned to face the voice, only to find there was nobody near where the sound projected from.

“Alright, please give me your—”

They fumbled over each other in shock when they next heard the voice from right behind them.

“—names and how long you plan on staying here.”

They saw a mismatched creature, who was oddly familiar. He wore a navy-blue suit and maroon tie and sported some large red, gem-encrusted eye frames. He sat behind a desk, typing away at a… typewriter? No, it looked too sleek.

He stopped typing on the weird typewriter. He looked in their direction and pushed his glasses down a smidge as if to better see them.

“Well? Name. Stay duration. You’re holding up the line, ladies.” He waved behind them. They turned, only to see a dozen of the same creature sporting different attire, all impatiently glaring at them.

Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle slowly turned to each other.

Scootaloo furrowed her brows and turned back to the strange being sitting behind the desk. He was no longer paying them any mind, as he was currently clipping his lizard foot on the desk.

“Alright, this is officially the weirdest dream I’ve ever had. I really shouldn’t have snuck the oatmeal cookies Auntie Lofty made before bed,” Scootaloo said while scratching her head.

“Huh?” Sweetie Belle asked, confused. “This can’t be your dream; it has to be my dream.”

“Nuh-uh, I’m the one in charge here!” Scootaloo pressed her head against Sweetie Belle’s.

“Are not!”

“Am too!”

Unbeknownst to them, Discord had dissolved his attire and desk entirely and was slowly slithering towards them.

“Are not!”

He laid, sprawled out behind them, resting his head on his paw. He watched the spectacle in amusement and started munching on some popcorn.

Hmm, not enough variety for my liking, he thought as he found the same flavor of snozzberry in only 3 bites! The horror!

“Am– ow!” Both she and Sweetie Belle squeaked in pain as they felt a sharp pain on the back of their heads. Scootaloo rounded on the culprit. “Apple Bloom, that hurt!”

“Are ya really dreamin’ if it hurt?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yea– oh,” Scootaloo stated lamely. “Got a point there I guess… but that means that–”

“That’s right my little ponies!” the voice boomed, startling them once more. “Rest assured that this is very much not a dream. However…”

He swirled his claw around, a rapidly growing bright yellow light formed around it and started to quickly disperse in every direction. The once red skies started to bleed yellows, mixing to a vibrant orange. He snapped his claw, and birds—no, fish—of several varieties of species, size, and color overtook the skies, dancing in circular motions all around them.

He put his claw and paw together and cracked his knuckles. He waved his paw downwards diagonally, pink clouds shot out from newly formed portals that surrounded them. They filled the void as they morphed together, creating a fluffy landscape below. He snapped his claw again. One speck of light ahead of them formed, before exploding and forming a floating island, larger than the one they stood on. Soon several more specks of light filled the atmosphere creating more.

They watched in awe, jaws slacked. A wind brushed against their manes and smelt of… cinnamon?

“Welcome to my humble abode. Dimension—same thing, really. Point is—”

He snapped a claw, a fast-growing object jutted out from the ground below him, taking him along for the ride. They stared as he quickly climbed through the air. The object transformed, becoming a curved purple tree with what appeared to look like shaggy leaves that were almost mane-like when tightly-woven together.

He slid down from the top and into one of the branches. He then folded his arms behind his back and got comfortable.

“—anything you can think of here”—he waved his paw around—“is possible.”

Scootaloo was the first to break from her stupor. She shook her head in a harsh motion. It was a lot to take in for sure, but she had burning questions at the forefront of her mind that couldn’t be shaken.

“Who are you? What are you? Where have you taken us? Why have you taken us...“

Discord rolled his eyes. These ponies were all so predictable. Why did they care so much about needing to know the facts? Why did everything have to make sense? Why couldn’t they just let loose every once and a while?

“...what are you planning on-mmfph. MMFPH!?” She panicked as her voice suddenly failed her. She saw a metallic object dangle from where her mouth once was. Her friends screamed.

“Scoots! What is that thing!?” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. Both she and Apple Bloom rounded on Discord.

“What did you do— Mmfph!” They tried to say, before succumbing to the same fate. Their eyes went wide as they stared at each other. They tried to scream as they jumped back away from one another.

Discord tried his best to hold back a laugh, letting out an undignified snort instead.

“All in good time, Cutie Mark Comrades.” They gave him a funny look, which he ignored. “Now, if I take away the zippers from your yappers, do you solemnly swear not to interrupt me as I explain myself—my way? Say ‘Yes’ if you want them gone; say ‘Mmmmfph’ if you prefer them to stay forever.”

He cupped his ear with his claw. The ear grew in size, facing in their direction.

“MMMMFPH! MMMMFPH!” they tried to confirm.

He fell back into a fit of laughter.

“Ooh, you ponies are too easy!” He wiped a tear away. “Absolutely priceless!”

Once the last literal bubble in his gut popped, he looked back up to them and saw their unamused glares as they sat together on their haunches.

“Poo. How can you bunch be so fun yet so not at the same time? Oh well—all in due time,” He muttered the last part under his breath as he smirked before shrugging and snapping his claw. The zippers disappeared in a flash of light.

Sweetie Belle pressed her hooves against her mouth feeling for any remaining remnants. She looked to her friends, who were breathing sighs of relief. She started prodding their faces as well to ensure they were clear, even though she could clearly see that they were.

“Sweetie,” Scootaloo sputtered, spitting. “Sweetie Belle, I’m good. Knock it off!” She knocked her hooves away. Sweetie Belle gave her a sheepish grin as she rubbed the back of her head.

“Sorry,” she squeaked.

Apple Bloom, ignoring her friends’ antics, was raptly focused on the strange creature.

“So uh, Mister… uhm…” she scratched her chin in puzzlement.

“Hmm? Oh yes, I suppose some introductions are in order, but bleh. Can we just skip that part and get down to the meat of the matter?” he said, producing a large cooked turkey leg from thin air.

They suddenly looked very nauseous as they all turned green.

“No? Fine.” The turkey leg disappeared in a flash. A metallic folding chair protruded from the ground below him. He sat with one leg crossed over the other. The sky suddenly turned dark as a spotlight came to life above him.

“You may have already heard of me, but in case you haven’t or may have forgotten: Hi. Hello, I’m Discord.” He started twiddling his thumbs. “Lord of Chaos, bringer of mayhem, supplier of disorganization, blah blah blah, sis boom bah.” The light faded, the sky became bright and the chair disappeared.

“Wait! We have heard about ya, and Ah knew ya looked familiar…” Apple Bloom started out with. “Ya look an awful lot like the statue we saw at the Canterlot garden, and that’s the name Miss Cheerilee told us about when talking about the statue!”

She glowered at him as she remembered everything her teacher had told them. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were stunned. Their brains worked at a million trots a minute as they started to remember too.

“Yeah! Miss Cheerilee said you represent a lack of harmony amongst ponies!” Scootaloo said.

“Confusion!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

“Evil!” chimed in Sweetie Belle.

“Chaos! You’re a bad guy. That’d explain why you took us! You’re just trying to cause disharmony in us and our class!” Scootaloo dug her hooves into the ground and snorted out a fiery breath as she scowled at him. Her friends soon followed standing by her side in defiance.

Discord heaved a dramatic sigh.

“Oh, this again.”

He turned his back to them and folded his arms behind his back. He stood at the edge of the island.

“What, pray tell, has your teacher taught you about Chaos beyond some meaningless drivel? Hmm?” He cranked his head back to them, seeing they remained undeterred. “Chaos is not inherently evil, my dear little fillies. It opposes that which is considered ‘Order,’ not that which is considered ‘good.’"

The trio just looked to one another in confusion, their determination faltering ever so slightly. Sweetie Belle was the first to ask the obvious

"Uh, but aren't they the same thing?" She squinted, having a hard time separating the two from her mind. Her friends were having no better luck.

Discord gave a mirthless chuckle, facing away from them once more.

"Simply? No. ‘Order’ relates to society’s laws, to predictability, and to structured relations. None of which are inherently good. Sure, when considered properly, order can be used for good. However, too much order can crumble a society like a stale graham cracker. Tell me, have you ever wondered about something that just was but didn't necessarily care for it, or agree with it?"

He blew on his bubble pipe, tiny shapes of Celestia formed, which he slowly popped one by one with his free claw.

It didn't take long for Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom to come up with several examples respectively.

"School!"

Sweetie Belle jumped in front of Scootaloo and exclaimed, "Early bedtime!"

Apple Bloom quickly followed with, "Feedin' the pigs!"

That got a snort and a giggle from Apple Bloom's friends. She blushed and then pouted at them.

Discord smirked. "Those are all good examples, I must admit. The fact it didn't take you long to come up with them tells me that you truly don't care for those things and wish you could do away with them, hmm?"

He dematerialized, molecule-by-molecule and appeared in a similar manner before them, startlingly most of them.

"That was awesome! And weird... but totally awesome!" Scootaloo exclaimed. Her friends gave slightly nervous laughs. They didn't necessarily disagree with her, it just was unsettling to see.

"But, yeah... I wouldn't mind having to no longer go to school... I mean, Miss Cheerilee is cool and all, but I don't really care for math, science, or any of that junk. I just want to have fun!" She gave her friends a smile.

"I see. Well! If you're already discontented, then it seems to me that order has already failed you." He lazily lounged in the air above them and played with a paddle ball, which was white in color and had an interesting sun symbol on it. "Imagine if Celestia wasn't so kind, how much worse your circumstances would be!" The string broke. He pulled out another, this one navy with a moon symbol.

"What do you mean?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Well, you could have stricter curfews, longer school hours, more homework and banned confectionary treats to name a few. Yes, it could be much worse. However, it's scary to think that you're already unhappy with some of the rules you have to live by, most of which having been passed by a deemed benevolent ruler who's been around for over a millennia." He sighed. The paddle ball he held burst into flames.

"Now, when it comes to it, much like how Order isn't inherently good, Chaos isn't inherently evil. With too much order, your lives would be boring, straightforward. With chaos, they can become a little bit more fun, unpredictable!"

He threw his arms into the air, emphasizing with a display of fireworks exploding in various shapes and sizes.

They oo'd and ah'd. He bowed.

"The truth of the matter is that chaos occurs all the time, and most of the time ponies don’t even realize it or, if they do, don't appreciate it.”

He pulled out a chalkboard from behind his back and got to writing. He wore a buttoned-up plaid shirt, beige jeans, and comically large glasses. The trio tilted their heads in different directions, trying to read what was being written.

Discord put the chalk down and moved away from the board.

“Let’s go over some examples of Chaos, simple examples. Tell me, have you gotten around to learning cause-and-effect yet?”

“Is that the thing where like“—Scootaloo rubbed her temple—“something can’t move unless something makes it move?”

“I think you’re thinkin’ of Hoofton’s Laws of Motion, Scoots,” Apple Bloom assisted.

“Oh, right… heh, my bad.” She rubbed the back of her head and wore a slight grimace. She furrowed her eyebrows and thought back. “How do you remember that anyway? I don’t even really remember learning about it much.”

“Scootaloo, you fell asleep at the start of that class, because you’d stayed up all night making blueprints for a loop-de-loop ramp,” Sweetie Belle said as she rolled her eyes.

“’Sides, my big brother taught it to me. Said it’d be good to know for a lot of stuff, like when our apple cart gets stuck in the middle of the road an’ such,” Apple Bloom shrugged.

An awful screeching noise interrupted them. They covered their ears and grimaced.

Sweetie Belle with one eye open asked, “What in the hay was that!?”

Discord, who was wearing ear-covers, said, “Oh, sorry. It’s just that, Ms. Chalkboard here tends to get a little rowdy if I don’t write on her after some time.”

As he finished, another bellowing screech was made. He drew a smile over her mouth, to which she responded by trying to bite his paw.

“Testy today, aren’t we dear~?” He snapped a claw and made the face disappear.

They breathed a sigh of relief.

“Now, as I was saying. It’s simple really,“ he said as he started writing again. “The cause is the why in why something happens and the effect is the what in what happens as a result.”

He finished and ended up having two columns, one for the cause and the other for the effect.

“Now, I couldn’t care less about the stuff; however, boring as it may be—and it truly is—I do believe it’ll help you understand where I’m coming from, though it pains me to talk about,” he said while in a gurney with a patient outfit and a heart rate monitor attached to him. The objects disappeared.

“Tell me, can you think of anything that’s happened to you, or perhaps a friend“—he had to swallow a little bit of bile back—“that ended with a positive result, hmm?”

He looked back to them and saw them scrunching their faces really hard as they racked their brains.

“Well, uh, I guess there was that one time where we practiced really hard to perform in the Ponyville’s school talent show…” Scootaloo looked at her friends.

Sweetie Belle chimed in next, “Yeah, and we thought we’d end up putting on a good performance after all the hard work we put in…” She looked at Apple Bloom.

“But, we was a laughin’ stock! All our hard work came crashing down on us, literally! We thought it was a disaster…”

“Turns out we had it wrong, they were just laughing because they thought we were putting on a comedy act. I thought for sure we’d get our cutie marks in comedy after that one…” Scootaloo stared back at her flank as if hoping somehow talking about it would spark a change. She sighed. “I mean, I guess everything worked out, even if it wasn’t what we were going for.”

Discord stroked his goatee. He started writing,

“So, because of a little”—he smirked to himself—“chaos, your show ended up being a rousing success? My, my! What a shocker!” He raised his arms to the heavens in a flourish once more. This time however, a lightning bolt struck him down. He coughed out some smoke and shook his burnt scales and fur off.

“Buh, huh?” Sweetie Belle’s eyes crossed for but a moment. “What’s that have to do with Chaos?”

She looked over to her friends, whose expressions sat somewhere between thoughtful and confused.

“Yes, well, lil' Miss Creepy Gel–“

“Sweetie Belle.”

Scootaloo snorted. Sweetie Belle gave her a glare.

“Whatever, the point is”—he licked an ice cream cone—“you set out to do something, which was to perform at some third-rate talent show—”

“Hey!”

“—and it didn’t go to plan, yet everyone ended up enjoying your little performance anyway. One form of Chaos can be as simple as that: you plan for something, something else happens entirely, usually out of your control, but the result can still end up being positive. Now, what else?” He got out a beach chair, a foil reflector and some sunglasses while waiting for a response.

They huddled around each other, latching forelegs around each other’s shoulders. They were whispering.

Discord lifted his sunglasses and glanced in their direction. Curiosity getting the better of him, he peeled from himself, leaving a clone behind in the chair. He materialized a box around him and slowly slid his way over to them.

“—if it weren’t for Fluttershy we’d have been in big trouble. I mean, it did end up working out but it was mostly bad overall when you think about it,” Scootaloo said.

“I guess? But we learned a lesson in the end, and Twilight was saved!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed.

“Ah got it! Forget the whole cockatrice business, what about the story of how they got their cutie marks!” Apple Bloom said as she threw a hoof into the air. She noticed a conspicuous box near them and raised an eyebrow. A giant “!” appeared above the box. The box vanished from sight. Discord morphed back into his body and acted nonchalant.

“Oh yeah! …Wait, what?” Scootaloo scrunched up her nose.

“Trust me, once Ah get started on it, you’ll understand what Ah mean,” Apple Bloom said triumphantly.

“Mister Discord, we’re ready.” Apple Bloom waved him over.

Discord pretending to be asleep snorted, the giant snot bubble popping above him. “Buh, huh? Oh!” He flashed out of sight for a moment before rematerializing before them. He hovered above them, keeping a paw on his chin while tapping the air with his claw, which seemed to be tapping against something as it made a thump sound with each tap.

He glanced at his wrist watch. Hmm, a quarter ‘til Celestia. Going to have to leave soon. He looked back to them. “Go on…”

“So, um… we were told about how Rainbow Dash and her friends got their cutie marks,” Apple Bloom started.

Discord furrowed his brow, his curiosity meter off the charts.

“If it weren’t for Rainbow Dash, they’da never become such good friends, nor would they’ve gotten their cutie marks. Well, at least Ah don’t think they woulda gotten their cutie marks in the same way…” She tapped her chin looking thoughtful. “Rainbow Dash challenged some bullies to defend her friend, Fluttershy. Well, during the race, the bully tried to cheat and knock her off course–”

“But she totally beat him! She went zoom!” Scootaloo’s swooped a foreleg in a downward motion. “Flashed right past him like a lightning bolt! She went so fast the sky exploded in a flash of all the colors of a rainbow! She performed a sonic rainboom!” She squee’d.

Discord’s ears rang, he pulled out a fire alarm and tossed it away.

“Right, what she said. Anyway, right after she did that little trick–”

Scootaloo hopped in front of her face.

“The most legendary move of all time, ‘little!?’” Scootaloo looked at her completely offended.

Apple Bloom sighed.

“After she performed the most super awesome, amazin’, spectacular move of all time...” she looked over to her friend, who gave her a hesitant nod of approval as she weighed her words. “...the Sonic Rainboom, it not only sparked a change for her and her future friends, givin’ them all their cutie marks at roughly the same time, but the light led to Ponyville, which is where they ultimately all became friends.”

Apple Bloom beamed, followed shortly by Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle remembering the story fondly.

“I see… that certainly is quite the string of events, isn’t it? All it took was one little race to cause such an unpredictable, and ultimately positive”—he formed a face behind his head which rolled its eyes—“outcome as that? My, if I weren’t the Lord of Chaos, I’d have thought you were pulling my leg!” His leg came off, which he immediately reattached.

“Now, that’s the start of how they became such buddy-buddies, but what about the Cutie Mark Conquistadors?” He waved both his arms towards them.

“Crusaders,” they muttered together, to which Discord just shrugged.

Sweetie Belle looked lost in thought for a moment, before realizing something. “Say, Apple Bloom…”

Apple Bloom looked at her with her head tilted.

“If you hadn't showed up to the party that day and hadn’t gotten bullied by Diamond Tiara…”

A light sparked in Apple Bloom's eyes; her jaw went slack.

“Then we may’ve never become such good friends…” She furrowed her brows. “There would be no Cutie Mark Crusaders. Ah’d still be a blank flank and friendless…” She dropped to her haunches.

“Yeah, well, guess what? It happened. And I’m sure glad it did,” Scootaloo said while lightly bumping her shoulder with a hoof. Apple Bloom looked up and saw Scootaloo giving her a big dopey grin. Apple Bloom felt some hooves wrap around her neck from the back, followed by a somewhat reluctant half hug that turned into a back pat from the side. She smiled.

Discord gagged.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders forever,” they said happily in tandem.

Discord, seeing an opportunity, chimed in: “You see? Isn’t Chaos a truly wonderful, wonderful thing? You didn’t expect the outcome for which you’d all become such good compadres, but you did! As did those other ponies you seem so fond of…”

He paused, a thought had occurred earlier and he had meant to ask.

“Say, how do you know Twilight and her–”

The alarm of his wrist watch roused him from his thoughts. The big and little Discord hands were pointing to Celestia. It was showtime.

“Ah, never mind that for now.” A suitcase materialized beside him and he started throwing in some clothes, pickles and an inverted pink umbrella. He struggled to get it closed. “Now, I have to go, but I shan’t be gone long. When I get back, I’ll answer all the other questions I’m sure are just oozing out of you.”

He tried using a giant mallet to get the suitcase closed. It didn’t work.

“Need some help there, Mr. Discord?” Sweetie Belle asked. Discord just blinked at her.

“By all means, my dear,” he said as he continued trying to keep it closed.

Sweetie Belle, hesitantly followed by her friends jumped on top of the suitcase and started stomping as hard as they could.

“Stupid thin— Woah!” Scootaloo exclaimed as she and the others flew off of the suitcase that had come undone. They crashed into the leaves of the purple tree before unceremoniously falling onto a mattress. They made an “oomph” sound as they fell on top of one another.

Discord held his claw to his mouth as he tried to hold back a laugh.

When they got up, they noticed a spring sticking out of the luggage.

“Hey, wait a minute!” Scootaloo started out saying.

Discord fell to the ground unable to contain his laughter.

They tried to stay mad at him. They really, really tried. Sweetie Belle was the first to start erupting into a fit of giggles. Seeing their friend giggling, they couldn’t help themselves. Scootaloo soon joined in, followed by a slightly hesitant Apple Bloom.

Discord got up and wiped a tear from his eyes before calming down.

“It’s been fun, truly!” The suitcase disappeared. “I’ll be back shortly. I’ve given you all full control to do as you please in this dimension while I’m gone. As I said earlier, anything is possible while you’re here. Anything. Let your imaginations run wild, and don't relent!"

“Um, Discord, sir?” Apple Bloom twiddled with her hooves.

“Hmm?” He turned back to face her as he opened a portal.

“Can ya tell our families, as well as our teacher an’ classmates, that we’re alright? An’ we won’t be here that long, right? Ah don’t want ‘em to worry none about us…”

They all looked towards him and awaited a response.

“Oh, don’t worry…” He turned away from them and faced the portal. A wicked grin appeared on his features. “You’ll meet up with them soon enough.”

He let out a quiet chuckle as he stepped through.

Author's Note

Ehh, I'm not too proud of the whole cause and effect thing and trying to fit chaos in it... But I struggled to think of anything that could easily relate with the CMC. Not my finest work, and it's a little wonky. If anyone has a better suggestion I'd be more than happy to change it out.
Also, not sure if Sweetie Belle would be aware of zippers because of her sister at this point in the show, so bleh. Overall though, I'm mostly happy with how this chapter turned out, at least as a first run in with Discord. Let me know what you think though! Also, first 10k words done, yay!

Another thing... I changed the rating to everyone as I realized I'm not really doing anything outside of what the show would have and I have no plans to.

Edit: Opps, I may have already made some revisions as I wasn't happy with the first submission as it seemed unbelievable that the CMC would warm up to Discord so quickly. I tried to make it a little more believable. My bad! I'll try to contain myself in the future, emphases on try.

Chapter 5: Royal Jitters

Princess Celestia had many famous qualities. She’d often overhear from those conspicuously whispering about her whenever she appeared in public. “Wise,” “benevolent,” “omnipotent”—she rolled her eyes internally whenever she heard that one—”graceful,” “patient,” or so it went. One quality she knew her subjects didn’t know, one she was glad none were able to discern—save her sister and perhaps old mentor—was her mastery of concealing when she wasn’t listening.

Well, it was not entirely accurate to say she wasn’t following what was being said, more so that she already knew the subject matter and where it was heading. Ruling for over a thousand years tended to bring up similar dealings, more times than she wished would occur. She’d appear thoughtful as they prattled on for hours on end, bringing up every possible beneficial scenario that they believed likely to occur if she ruled in their favor.

“—and that’s why we believe the Manehatten National Zoo should receive subsidies, in order to keep admission costs low as we bring in new and exotic creatures for the public to view, with the added benefit of being able to study these creatures in a safe and enclosed environment, for those pursuing academic studies who would benefit from such.”

Swift Vine, finally opening his eyes after that particularly long winded speech, dabbed his forehead with a kerchief. Whether it was due to the peculiar warmth of the room, or jitters from standing before a princess, or something else entirely, was hard to see by even the most perceptive of eyes. However, deep down he felt dread, knowing full well his boss would only lower the price of admission ever so slightly after receiving the subsidies. He didn’t bring up the price change before the princess, hoping she would not notice after seemingly going over everything over the course of three hours.

He bit his lower lip as he awaited a response, dreading how his boss would reprimand him out if nothing came from this little escapade. He’d poured several days of his time trying to think of anything and everything that would be seen as favorable, but he was aware of the laughability of receiving subsidies for a matter such as this, which is why he felt his world collapse during that meeting, before learning of his fate.

Princess Celestia turned her head to the side and closed her eyes for a moment, appearing to be lost in thought.

Hmm, yellow butter or red velvet cake for this afternoon? Decisions, decisions… Perhaps both would be in order. Oh, but what tea would best compliment the combination?

Perhaps I should give my student a small friendship subject for her to look into, with a postscript attached on the subject of teas and cakes for her to look into afterwards… Although, knowing her, she would take a while to respond, even if the lesson were very small. She always wanted to cover every minute detail. And she wonders why I hardly ever ask her to tackle specific requests anymore.

Swift Vine dabbed his forehead more fervently as beads of sweat started forming more rapidly as the seconds rolled by.

Soon, Princess Celestia turned her head back to him, reaching a decision.

“I see. Yes, I do believe it would be quite beneficial for potential future zoologists, as well as those in other similar fields of study to have the chance to observe exotic creatures without needing to travel to far-off lands. Perhaps what they learn could lead to new and exciting innovations. Very well, I will grant the zoo a sizeable subsidy—"

Swift Vine let out an inaudible sigh of relief. He couldn’t believe his fortune, perhaps he’d soon find himself a higher paying position.

A small smile graced Celestia’s lips as she continued after a small pause, “—on the condition that the zoo gives me the current price of admission, as well as the adjusted price before the subsidy takes effect. Furthermore, the admission should be free for those looking to partake in the studying of animals there,” Celestia finished. She was not a fool, she knew full well there had to be a reason why Manehatten hadn’t granted the subsidy themselves. She’d dealt with oh so many with ulterior motives in the past. It didn’t matter how hard they tried to hide the fact; she could always see through their little façade.

Swift Vine went completely pale and started stammering wordlessly. He felt faint, feeling as though he were about to collapse at any moment. He was doomed.

“Is there anything more? If not, I call this meeting adjourned. You have two weeks to respond with those price adjustments, Mister Vine.” She nodded to the nearby royal guard.

Two of the guards stood by his side. He fumbled as he tried to retract the chart he brought to a reasonable travel size to fit in his saddle. Princess Celestia, seeing the struggle, used her magic to fold the stand for him. He gave her a stuttered thanks as he put everything away. He bowed shakily and was escorted out of the throne room.

Once alone, she slumped ever so slightly in her chair and let out a sigh of relief. She allowed herself a smile, knowing she had an open schedule for the rest of the afternoon, a rare occurrence if there ever were one. The last time she had such a break, she’d had to deal with a disgruntled dignitary from Griffonstone, claiming they had not received the agreed-upon wheat for the month and throwing around accusations at Celestia herself, such as her feigning innocence on the matter and keeping the wheat for herself, which was ridiculous at best. Why in the world would she hoard wheat?

Cakes, on the other hoof…

They then claimed the cart must have been hijacked by some of her subjects. She’d spent the better part of the day dealing with that mess, only to find out through a griffon messenger during that meeting that it had been one of their own. The dignitary had been less than graceful even after learning that fact, throwing out excuses left and right as he left in a huff.

She chuckled. The odds of something of that nature occurring again during one of her rare hiatuses seemed ludicrous. No, she was going to enjoy her short recess as best as she could.

She stomped one of her hooves on the ground twice in quick succession. The metallic sound echoed loudly to the other end of the throne room. One of the guards on post outside the door quickly appeared before her in rapt attention.

“Please inform the royal bakers that I will be in need of a generous slice of red velvet and yellow butter cake, as well as a cup of chai brought to my study.”

He gave a bow and turned to leave.

“Oh, and one more thing—”

He turned back to her. She gave him a small smile.

“—after doing that, you and your partner may have the rest of the day off.” She teleported in a flash.

The ever-stoic guard, checked to ensure he was completely alone, did a quick celebratory hoof pump.

With some cake, tea, and a good book in hoof, she prepared to settle in for the afternoon. She pulled back the shades, which provided much better lighting, but not entirely ideal for reading. She trotted to a nearby desk and whisked away a couple candelabras at once, bringing them to a stop near her purple cushion on the floor, and lit both sets. Now satisfied with her proper setting, she folded her legs and got into a comfortable reading position. Turning to the first page of Fortune Archipelago, she absentmindedly used her magic to pick up her fork. She opened her mouth to take a bite.

The glass doors leading to the balcony opened in an aggressive manner, leading to her candelabras blowing out and her beloved velvet cake piece dribbling down her nose onto her book.

Strange. It normally took a lot more force than a mere gust of wind to blow open the set of doors, especially considering they should have been locked.

Slightly perturbed, she dropped her fork back onto the plate, used a napkin to wipe her face and used her magic to clean the page of a book, which now only held a small pink smudge as a reminder. She trotted to the set of doors, intending to ensure they were locked this time around.

Lighting her horn, she closed the doors, not before a red blur flew past her face. In shock, she shot her head back to face whatever had found its way into her study, only to find nothing.

Perhaps the stress of the day has gotten to me, she thought as she rubbed her temple. She turned back to attempt to close the doors once more, only to find herself face-to-face with the perpetrator.

She reared her head back and almost fell to her haunches and let out a startled cry. Getting her bearings, she brightened the light of her horn, only to find that the perpetrator was nothing more than a cardinal bird. She let out a breath and gave her new companion an encouraging smile. She held out a foreleg toward the creature, which took her invitation and landed on her.

“Hello there little one, I don’t know the circumstances that lead you here, but I welcome you nonethe–”

The door to her study shot open with a loud bang.

“Your highness! I heard a scream. Is everything alright?” A guard, newly appointed as one could tell by his helmet tilting to the side, was rather animated as he searched high and low for the cause of the ruckus.

The bird found itself nestled on Celestia’s back, quietly shaking in trepidation. She turned back to her new friend and tried to comfort it.

“Everything is alright, there’s nothing to fear. He’s just a little excitable is all. He won’t hurt you; I promise.” The shaking started to slow, it peered at her from behind its wings before slowly dropping them back to the sides.

The guard tried to look around her to see whom or what she was speaking to, but didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. He stood awkwardly in place and tried to appear stoic, but was quickly failing as his curiosity was getting the better of him.

“Everything is fine. I just had a little run in with some wildlife that’s lost its way.” She turned to the side so he could see what she was talking about.

“If you would please get ahold of the groundskeeper and ask for some birdseed, I’m sure our friend here would greatly appreciate it.”

He gave her one of the sloppiest salutes she’d ever seen, to which she almost laughed gaily, before he turned and flew in a hurry out the room.

She turned back to face her avian companion. It plucked at its plumage a couple times before looking at her once more and tilting its head, giving her a quizzical look.

“Perhaps you would like to stay here for a while? I, for one, wouldn’t mind the company.”

It nodded, to which she smiled brightly in response. As she closed the doors leading to the balcony, a thought occurred to her.

“Would you like to be perched from a higher elevation?”

Another nod. She furrowed her brow at the repeated gesture.

Odd, perhaps it has lost its voice?

A sad thought to be sure, but she knew she could at the very least comfort it. She scanned the room for something she could make use of. She took note of some small petunias near the door and made up her mind. She channeled her magic on the petunias and focused on the object she had in mind. The plant violently morphed; stems became roots that shot down into the rapidly growing pot that contained them. The sepals twisted around one another and pushed outward in a circumference, before crawling skywards forming the trunk. The petals withered before becoming reborn as branches and erratically pushing in every which direction. Leaves grew from the quickly spreading branches.

By the time she finished her transmogrification spell, the once tiny flowers became a much larger baby oak tree, just stretching past Celestia’s head. It wasn’t the prettiest sight in the world, but she knew that mattered little, considering her new companion was already making a home out of it. She gave it a smile before settling back into a comfortable position on her cushion. She turned a page, grabbed another piece of cake with her fork and took a bite.

Bark.

The fork clattered onto the page of the book, smearing the pages once more. She blinked a few times in rapid succession. She whipped her head around, flicked her ears in several directions, and searched the room.

Not noticing anything, she used a scanning spell and found nothing else living besides her and the bird in the room. Confused, but ultimately defeated, she cleaned the mess she made once more and continued undeterred in her conquest to enjoy her afternoon. She took a sip of her tea, which was cold now. She used a heating spell on the pot and her cup. She took another sip.

Bark.

She violently spat out her drink in surprise, soaking not only the book but her favorite cushion. Her eyes widened. This time she got up, fully intent on finding the source. Still not seeing anything in the room, she tried to go over every possible conceivable scenario. One possibility formed in her mind. Was it Pet Appreciation Day, and had she simply forgotten? It was the one day of the year she allowed her guard and staff to bring in pets while on duty after all. She summoned a calendar.

It was two weeks away.

She frowned. Did the one guard posted outside bring a service dog for anxiety? No, that didn’t make any sense to her either, as the recruiters certainly wouldn’t allow one to pass if they needed one. He was a newbie after all, perhaps an honest date mix-up? She shook her head; she was running out of ideas.

She opened the door leading to the hall and peered around. Using her scanning spell once more, she found nothing besides her and some guards posted further down.

Strange, very strange, she thought. Nothing made sense, and that was never a good sign.

She trotted back in and shut the door. Knowing she wasn’t going to enjoy her afternoon as she had hoped, she sighed. She needed to get to the bottom of this before anything. Snapping out of her thoughts she noticed a certain little birdie was no longer lounging in the branches of the makeshift tree. Searching, she found it fluttering about around the doors leading to the balcony.

“Leaving so soon? You’re welcome to stay longer if you like, I’m sorry if the noise has been startling.”

It shook its head. She gave a small sad smile, knowing she would likely not be seeing her friend again.

“I see…” She bowed her head. “It was nice to meet you. Safe travels, my little avian friend.”

She opened the doors leading to the balcony.

It barked twice in appreciation and flew out in a hurry.

An extreme oddity occurred, something that nopony alive today, with the exception of her sister, had ever witnessed: Celestia’s jaw dropping. Her mouth opened and closed several times as she tried to process it all. She shook her head rapidly as she had a sudden realization.

Perhaps a little mishap at the School for Gifted Unicorns? That made too much sense to her.

Her mouth twitched upwards a few times. It started with a few sputtering coughs, which turned into small chuckle, followed by a full out guffaw. She fell on her back. Oh, this certainly made up for what she thought was a ruined afternoon. To think she thought she was losing her mind! Oh, the hilarity of it all. She would need to get into contact with the school and inform them. Hopefully the spell wasn’t a permanent addition to the bird’s vocal arsenal, if so, they would need to track down the poor thing and correct the issue.

A few giggles sputtering out of her here and there, she got up and made her way over to the balcony doors. Her eyes fluttered open and closed slowly, still thinking about the odd encounter. She wiped a tear away. She channeled her magic to close the door—

A pink object flew past the balcony.

She blinked. That’s strange… No one should have flight clearance this high.

Another pink blur whizzed by in the opposite direction. She couldn’t make it out fully even with rapt attention.

She raised an eyebrow and stepped out onto her balcony. She inspected the sky in every direction and didn’t notice anything. She looked down, nothing. She was perplexed. If someone had made it up this high, the guard would have immediately guided the culprit back down to the ground and reprimanded them. But neither had that occurred, nor had she been alerted. Things were just getting weirder by the minute.

She turned her head to the left, only to be smacked in the face by some large sticky substance, and she panicked. She channeled her magic and teleported away from the offending object that assaulted her. Only for it to follow her, because it was stuck to her coat—well, mostly her face. She sputtered, spitting out the…

Cotton candy? What in Equestria– she thought as she calmed slightly and focused her magic on the substance, pulling it completely off of her.

She inspected it. No doubt about it; it was cotton candy. As she floated it around, she noticed some brown liquid seeping through it. She furrowed her brows. It was oddly familiar but she didn’t know why.

“Princess Celestia! We have a situation!”

Her head shot to the right as she saw one of her royal guards barreling towards her. What worried her wasn’t the pace he traveled, nor the tone of his voice, but the fear plastered on his face. She knew whatever it was, was urgent.

He landed and didn’t bow. Very urgent. He spoke in rapid succession, “Urgent news from Ponyville, Your Highness! They’ve under full calamitous assault! Objects randomly gaining sentience and attacking civilians! Sticky pink clouds plastering the streets! Animals changing shape and size and terrorizing them! Reports are coming in that it’s starting to spread beyond the town! It’s… it’s… full-on chaos, Your Highness!”

He tried to catch his breath as he awaited an order.

Celestia backpedaled in shock. That sounds an awful lot like… No… It couldn’t be…

The door to her study burst open, the guard stationed outside her door quickly galloping to her, followed by someone she couldn’t fully make out behind him.

“Your Highness—” spoke that same someone behind the guard, out of breath. The guard moved to the side so she could make out the speaker. Her heart sank.

“—the statue is gone,” the groundskeeper said.

Author's Note

I know, I know... it's a small takeaway from the chaotic induced shenanigans you've come to expect. Sue me, I love to write Celestia as a character, and I wanted to do a take on how she discovered Discord's escape. We'll be getting back to the good ol' drama next chapter though! That I can guarantee. Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Next chapter may be out sooner than expected as I'm antsy to get a move on with it. No guarantees on that though!~

Chapter 6: Rising Tensions

The Great Hall of Canterlot castle was never Celestia’s first choice when it came to sorting out her thoughts, especially considering it was one of the few areas of the castle open to the public. This day was no exception, as a crowd of ponies trailed a guide, taking in the sights as the guide told them random facts about the castle, ranging from tapestry history to stained glass construction. All of that was well and good; except for their reasoning behind why access to the Wing of Star Swirl the Bearded was restricted. It was not because of any “dangerous spells” a malevolent individual could get their hooves on and use for ill. Most of the two-hundred spells Star Swirl had fathered were harmless, if his bowl-morphing spell—dubbed his “amniomorphic spell”—was anything to go by. She also wasn’t concerned with books and scrolls being stolen either; she had the original copies of everything hidden away in case of such an event.

No, she was more concerned that some poor unicorn who felt they needed to prove themselves would end up getting themselves hurt, attempting some of the more advanced spells without proper guidance. Most of the spells were written in old Ponish, which is why there was a process for gaining access to that section of the library in the first place.

Normally, she would have gently corrected the guide about the misconceptions, save the last one—outside of the hearing of the crowd, of course—for the sake of future accuracy. However, today was anything but normal.

Most quickly took notice of Celestia’s appearance as she made her way down one of the sets of stairs. They started excitedly chatting amongst one another, drawing more attention to her.
As she made it down the set of the stairs onto the landing near the stained glass, she cleared her throat before giving a magisterial proclamation.

“It is with great regret that I must inform you all that the castle is being closed temporarily, due to an unforeseen incident.”

She felt herself almost stutter the last word as she finished. She was experienced at appearing composed even under the most stressful of situations. However, she was near her limits, given how quickly for the worse the current situation could turn. She nodded to several pairs of guards. They promptly formed a semi-circle around the crowd.

The crowd, shocked, started babbling, expressions ranging from confused to concerned to annoyed. Some even found the courage to be vocal.

“What incident, Princess? Can you at least tell us that, if you’re going to make us leave?”

Some nodded in agreement as they muttered, others remained silent as they appeared completely lost about what was going on. The guard started to usher them out.

“I traveled so far to come here! Why close it today of all days!?” The lime mare who spoke scowled as one of the guards stepped closer to her.

“I am sorry, but this is for the best. I will ensure that everyone who visited today will be fully reimbursed for their troubles. I can’t speak of the situation at hoof yet—however, know that this is for your own safety.”

She wasn’t lying when she said that either. She knew for a fact that Discord would soon find his way to her, one way or another, and anyone who remained in the castle would quickly find themselves in for a world of trouble. The fact he hadn’t revealed himself to Celestia yet greatly concerned her. Why wouldn’t he immediately target the main cause of his imprisonment? She felt a sharp headache coming as she tried to process it all. She sincerely hoped her faithful student and her friends would be arriving soon.

As the crowd was being shuffled through the doors leading out, the muttering grew more incoherent. Most if not all now were as concerned as they were confused. What did she mean when she said this was for their own safety? Wasn’t the castle one of the safest places to be? The doors closed. Silence quickly overtook the once bustling room.

Celestia closed her eyes and started pacing on the landing. Every question she thought of quickly raised more questions. None of it was making any sense. Why hadn’t he revealed himself to her yet? Why was Ponyville his first target? Or, more accurately, his first playground.
She stopped, eyes widening at a sudden realization.

Unless… no, he couldn’t have known, she thought. How could Discord have known that Twilight and her friends were the Element Bearers? There was no possible explanation that made any—she’d talked about them. Her head shot up. She talked about them at his statue. The thought that he could actually hear her never occurred to her. She’d always assumed he’d be in some slumber-like state while as a statue. Her brows furrowed. But she’d never mentioned any of them being the bearers, not once.

The ringing in her ears became deafening and she suddenly felt herself become weak in the knees.

He must have connected each of them to their respective Elements as I spoke of their achievements… She’d been so excited for each of them for the lessons that they’d learned that she felt she needed to sing her praise to someone, albeit someone she’d thought would fall on deaf ears.

She took a shuddering breath as she tried to steel her nerves. She started pacing again, slower this time.

Pinkie Pie, always looking to brighten one’s day no matter what.

Rarity, willing to give up a dream if it meant her friend could live hers.

Fluttershy, feeling the need to be discreet in order to nurture a sick creature at the risk of being thrown in a dungeon, banished, or both, at least according to her.

Rainbow Dash, defending and sticking by her true friends if it meant she had to part with an old one.

Applejack, sincere and fair. Willing to help others in need, but too proud to admit when she needed help—a lesson hard learned. And although she represented the ‘Element of Honesty,’ Celestia believed the element to be more about integrity, which fit Applejack to a tee.

Celestia paused once more and took a breath.

Twilight… My most faithful student…

A small smile graced her lips, which instantly faltered into a grimace as she remembered the current state of affairs.

She’s grown so much in the short time she’s lived in Ponyville. So many lessons learned already, yet so much more to learn. For her to have to face such a powerful foe already…

She shook her head. Her eyebrows twitched as she thought back to what started this line of thinking in the first place: Discord.

If Discord was in Ponyville, had he already dealt with the Element Bearers? Was that it? He knew who they were, took care of them and she was next?

She sincerely hoped that wasn’t the case, she prayed they received her letter and were almost here.

She bit her lip and started pacing at a faster rate.

But what if they didn’t come? Could the Elements transfer back to her and her sister if the situation called for it?

What if–

The doors suddenly burst open knocking her from her dismal thoughts. She looked up with a hopeful glint in her eyes expecting to see her pupil and her friends, instead to her dismay it was a member of the Royal Guard.

He flew to the start of the stairs and did a quick bow.

“Your Highness, there’s been a situation at the Canterlot train station.”

He opened his mouth to continue but faltered as he looked up and saw Princess Celestia, slightly wide eyed, mouth partially agape staring at him. The best way he could describe it, was that she looked shocked or, heaven forbid, scared. But why would she be if he hadn’t even mentioned what the situation was? That made him as unsure as he was nervous to think. As quickly as the expression came, it was swiftly replaced by a more neutral look as Celestia regained her composure.

“What kind of situation?” she asked, trying to remain stoic. She was expecting it to involve Twilight and her friends.

He snapped out of his thoughts and cleared his throat.

“Right. My partner and I were stationed right outside of the train station square. We heard a whistle being blown several times in quick succession. We flew down to assess the situation. When we got there, we were met by the train conductor and a mare—a teacher who claimed that some of her students had been foalnapped by a creature made up of several different animal parts, who’s capable of teleporting very long distances. We weren’t sure what to make of it, but after hearing several similar accounts from nearby civilians, as well as the students of the same class we knew we needed to contact you right away, Your Highness.” He kept his eyes on her, her expression hadn’t changed. What he couldn’t see however, was the complete meltdown that was occurring inside Celestia after hearing that.

She couldn’t process any of it. None of it made any sense to her. Discord was known for a lot of things, but foalnapping? As far as she was aware, he was preoccupied in Ponyville, terrorizing the citizens there. Why in the world would he teleport so far away, only to take foals in a different city? What was he playing at?

“Did the teacher inform you of their names?” she asked, looking at him, or more accurately, looking through him as she was still trying to unravel it all.

“No, Your Highness—”

Celestia was about to send him back to get that information and started opening her mouth.

“—but I learned of them through the students there.” He closed his eyes for a moment and hesitated as he tried to recall. Given that many of the foals spoke over one another, making conversation with them difficult as he had to sort through all the babbling, he had a hard time trying to unravel all the names given.

“The names mentioned were: Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and… Scootaloo,” he said the last name with a little bit of uncertainty.

Celestia furrowed her brows. Those names were very familiar, but why?

“There’s one more thing, Princess…”

She looked back and nodded at him to continue.

“Apparently this creature came back a second time, dropping off some filly he’d taken the first time named… pardon me, Princess, but I don’t recall her name, before snatching the one named Scootaloo.”

A pause.

Celestia blinked.

This… was targeted then. No mistake about it. The fact he’d come back to drop off one, only to grab another all but confirmed that. But that still begged the question: why. She couldn’t for the life of her think as to why the names sounded so familiar as well.

But then a chilling thought occurred to her.

“Where was the train’s next destination?”

The guard straightened as he said, “I believe it was Ponyville, Your Highness.”

Her pupils started to dilate. No, she thought.

“Did anyone from that class mention where they were from?” she asked, already knowing the answer, but sincerely hoping she was wrong.

“I believe I heard Ponyville,” he said, not truly understanding the full gravity of the situation.

Celestia’s breathing hitched for a moment. She took a deep and mostly steady breath. The why could be sorted out later. She would confirm her suspicions once the Element Bearers arrived, although she still held onto hope she was wrong.

Since Discord had returned one of the fillies he mistakenly took, and had specific targets, the other foals were likely not in danger; however, there was no way to prove that. With the Element Bearers soon to arrive—she hoped—the remaining foals would be safer to remain in the city for the time being. If everything turned for the worse… she would need to make sure her contingency plan would follow through, ensuring the escape and safety of the rest of her citizens. Other cities, towns, and settlements of Equestria and beyond would also need to be alerted of the threat. In the event of catastrophe, Discord would likely have dealt with her, meaning she would not be able to follow through with it herself, meaning she would need to entrust this with her loyal subjects.

With newfound resolve, she channeled her magic. Her eyes tightened as she focused, she started gritting her teeth. Suddenly, she released it, sending a wide range pulse shooting in every direction.

The guard’s eyes widened as his armor rattled and glowed a bright yellow for a moment.

“Y-your Highness–”

Celestia held out a hoof. “I’ll explain once the others arrive,” she said, turning her attention to the doors. It wouldn’t be long now.

It started with one pair, swooping through the doors, followed by another. Soon, most of her royal guard had made it in a matter of minutes.

Once she was sure everyone had arrived, she spoke. “You all have been summoned here due to an unforeseen emergency arising. It appears that an old foe of mine, Discord has returned.”

Most of the guards stood at attention, stoic, while others, mostly newbies, turned their heads to one another.

“He is the spirit of chaos and extraordinarily powerful. My sister and I have faced him once before over a millennia ago. Even with our combined powers we were no match for him.”

Some of the guards shifted uncomfortably as they absorbed the information, some eyes widened, finding the prospect of such a thing preposterous.

“It took the power of the Elements of Harmony to defeat him and seal him away.” Her head dipped as she closed her eyes. “I had hoped he would remain sealed away forever, but it seems that, since the Elements have found new bearers, the original seal weakened, allowing Discord to break free and wreak havoc once more.”

She raised her head and straightened as she started channeling her magic. Several scrolls appeared above her. “Although the Elements have found new bearers and can be used to once again defeat him, I’m afraid there’s still a chance they may fall. In the event of such a tragedy befalling our nation, I’m entrusting each of you to ensure that these”—The scrolls started dispersing, finding a new home with several of the Pegasi royal guards who grabbed the scrolls with their wings—“reach their destination, alerting the settlement of the threat. Most established cities and towns have access to a telephone; however, there’s still a lot of underdeveloped settlements that have yet to have been afforded such a luxury, meaning I’ll need each of you to play your part and ensure they are all properly alerted of the threat. If the Element Bearers are… defeated, the seals for all the scrolls will break. In the event of that happening, you will immediately depart to bring your scroll to your assigned settlement. For those of you who didn’t receive a scroll, you will play your part here in Canterlot, ensuring the safe evacuation of its citizens. After that, well—”

She gave them a sad and meaningful look. Although most appeared unmoving and calm on the outside, not batting an eye at what they were being told, the truth of the matter was that they all felt a great deal of trepidation. If their Princess failed, if the Elements failed, where would they go after fulfilling their duty? Where would their families go? Would there be anywhere safe left to go? No matter what, nothing would ever be the same again.

“—let’s hope we don’t have to cross that bridge. Two more matters, you”—She pointed to a pair of Pegasi in the front—“ensure that the train doesn’t depart to Ponyville. I want that station closed for the time being.” She summoned a scroll and a pen and started writing. “Also, I want you to bring the class and teacher there to the Canterlot Resort Suite so that they have a place to stay in the meantime.” She gave them the scroll. “Now that everyone has their role to play, you are all dismissed.”

They all gave her a smart salute and quickly departed in rows leading back out through the large double doors.

Alone once more, Celestia sighed as she went back to her nervous pacing. She let her mind wonder. She tried not to delve too deeply into the worst-case scenarios, but was finding it increasingly more and more difficult with each passing minute the element bearers didn’t arrive. Twilight, please be safe… she thought distressingly, as she paused for a moment to stare out the stained glass with an increasing sense of foreboding and unease.

“What’s taking her so long?” Scootaloo asked, a little jaded.

Sweetie Belle sighed as she banged the back of her head on the wooden door.

“Apple Bloom, hurry up in there! I’m starting to get hungry and the day is… well”—she paused, realizing there was no sun, and the day was still the same level of brightness since they arrived—“isn’t moving, but that doesn’t mean you can spend all eternity in there!” she croaked, her back sliding down the door.

A muffled thump came from behind the door, followed by an increasingly more distinguished creaking sound as it came closer to the door. The door opened suddenly.

“Ow,” groaned Sweetie Belle as she got up to rub the back of her head. She turned around and squinted at her friend. “You sure took your sweet”—she got a look at Apple Bloom—“time.” Her eyes widened and mouth fell open.

Scootaloo turned. “Woah, Apple Bloom! You look… so… cool!” She hopped to her hooves, all sense of jadedness she felt earlier quickly melting away and being replaced by wonder.

Apple Bloom wore a black bicorne hat with a gold trim along the top; a small embellished emblem of the Cutie Mark Crusaders was stitched to the middle-left of the center front of the hat. Her trademark pink ribbon was much smaller and found itself further down the base of her head, supporting and holding her new classic chignon bun together. She had a white detachable frilled collar accompanied by a medium-short white lace jabot. She wore a long red coat with gold buttons on each side of the front, the coat stretched down to her flanks. She had black baggy trousers that stretched down to her peg le—

“Bwaah!” Scootaloo jumped back in shock. “Apple Bloom, what… what happened to your leg!?” she shrieked.

Sweetie Belle turned white when that was pointed out, which was quite the accomplishment. Her eyes were pinpricks, and she found it hard to formulate words.

“Oh, uh right… Heh…” Apple Bloom started, rubbing the back of her head, before bringing her peg leg up to her mouth and yanking it off, revealing a very much fully attached leg.

“Woah, what… how does that work?” Scootaloo shuddered, finding her way over to inspect it.

Sweetie Belle shook her head, following right after, curiosity overwhelming any sense of unease from before.

“Discord said we could do anythin’ with the magic he left us, so at first Ah thought about replacing my leg entirely, since Ah could always change it back, but uh… yeah, Ah didn’ really want to do that, so Ah thought of the next best thing,” she stated, placing her hoof through the peg leg once more, her leg disappearing in it.

“That’s totally wicked! But how the hay does it work?” Scootaloo asked, tilting her head and squinting at the offending object, unable to wrap her head around the mechanics of such a thing.

Apple Bloom shrugged.

“Ah just thought of it, an’ it appeared, an’ it worked as Ah hoped. Ah ain’t got the faintest idea how it works.” She looked up to inspect her friends, her smile grew as she walked around each of them. “Y’all look great yerselves.”

“Thanks,” Scootaloo exclaimed, looking over herself once more to make sure everything was in place. She wore a bright lilac, knitted Monmouth cap, a collarless, cream-colored loose linen shirt, a brown jacket, and loose, baggy woolen breeches. To top everything off, she wore an eye patch. “Why did you decide to not wear an eye patch, Apple Bloom? I think it would look cool on you with that getup.”

“Ah guess? But the whole point of an eye patch is so ya can see better in the dark by havin’ your vision adjust. As far as we know, it don’t get dark here,” she said while scanning the sky.

“Wait, what? That’s what they’re for? I thought it was just to look cool! Well, either way I’m going to keep mine and I think you should still wear one anyway too,” she grunted, looking away and turning her attention to the rather unusually quiet Sweetie Belle, whom she prodded at couple times. “Equestria to Sweetie Belle, hello? Do you copy?”

Sweetie Belle blinked. “Huh? Oh, sorry, I, uhm… got a little lost in thinking about stuff,” she mused, glancing between her two friends. She wore an emerald green bandana, navy scarf, a white linen collarless shirt, pink sleeve waistcoat and white baggy trousers. “I didn’t know you could tie neckerchiefs, or whatever that thing you have around your neck is, Apple Bloom.”

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow at her. “Ah didn’, Discord’s magic, remember? Ah just thought what Ah wanted and it appeared as is.”

Sweetie Belle blushed. “Oh, right…” she chuckled in embarrassment. “But, how’d you know how it would look when you were thinking about it?”

Scootaloo scratched her head, wondering the same thing.

“That’s easy!” She galloped back into the room and scurried back to them post-haste. “With this,” she exclaimed, dropping a magazine in front of them.

Scootaloo scooped it up and dropped to her haunches. Sweetie Belle peered over her. “The Daily Pirate? That’s a thing?” Scootaloo asked, her eyes scanning over the pages, wondering if she could get inspiration from it as she glazed over all the different attire.

“Ah know right? Ah didn’ know what Ah wanted to wear, so Ah just thought of somethin’ that would help give me some ideas and whatnot,” she stated as she started to wonder where her friends got their ideas from.

Sweetie Belle knitted her eyebrows together. “So, is this magazine real or not then? I mean, if not, how does thinking of wanting inspiration produce something somehow accurately knowing what you're looking for if you’re not exactly sure what it is you want?” she asked inquisitively, her eyes boring holes into the magazine.

Scootaloo, missing a lot of what was said, glanced back at Sweetie Belle and blinked at her. “Uh, what was the question again? Wasn’t paying attention,” she said blankly, before looking at Apple Bloom.

Apple Bloom scratched her head as she tried thinking on it. “Well it—Ah…” Her face scrunched up. Giving up in resignation she let out a big sigh. “Ya know what? It doesn’ matter, let’s just go with Discord’s magic and call it a day. It’s Crusadin’ time!” She crowed, holding a hoof out, waiting for her friends to bump it.

“Now that I understand! Yeah!” Scootaloo whooped, quickly joining in with a hoof.

They expectantly looked back at Sweetie Belle, giving her a welcoming grin. To which faltered when they noticed she wasn’t paying any attention to them, as she chose to continue staring at the magazine with a sunken look. She flipped a page, absentmindedly.

“Sweetie Belle, you can check out the magazine later. ‘Sides you look fine, nothin’ you need to change in my opinion,” Apple Bloom assured, although unsure if her friend was even really checking out the magazine at all.

“Yeah, hurry up! We should have set sail by now…” Scootaloo moaned, starting to get antsy and trot in place.

“Okay…” Sweetie Belle mumbled, dragging herself over to them, still not looking up.

Her friends frowned, worried they quickly dropped the hoof bump they initialized.

“Um, Sweetie Belle, is somethin’ on your mind?” Apple Bloom asked, trying to get a better look at her friend’s face.

“Yeah, you look kinda how Apple Bloom looked when Diamond Tiara picked on her during that party we became friends with her,” Scootaloo noted, rubbing one of her legs.

“Is it that obvious?” she looked up to her friends, who were giving her a look of concern. They slowly nodded in confirmation. She sighed. “I’m a little worried about this Discord guy… I mean, he seems… neat? And… fun? But… isn’t it a little weird that he randomly popped in, took us on a mid-class trip, dumped us”—she waved a hoof around, gesturing to the various flying fish and floating isles—“in the middle of who knows where. Gave us superpowers so we could do whatever we wanted. Then he left us to go do… Celestia knows what. There was also that whole chaos isn’t evil spieI thing he went on about which… was certainly something. I mean, if he’s actually a good guy why did he forcefully take us and didn’t just ask us if we wanted to come here in the first place? Do our families even know we’re here!? Nothing about any of this makes any sense!” she yelled before panting trying to catch her breath. She felt a hoof rest on her shoulder. She looked up to see Apple Bloom giving her a look of understanding.

“Your right, this whole thing stinks more than a pig tumblin’ in yesterday’s brunch. Next time that Discord fella comes by we’ll make him give us answers. And If he doesn’ come back, we’ll find a way out of here ourselves. If we can’t somehow, you know our sisters and their friends will come lookin’ for us and that’s a fact,” Apple Bloom exclaimed with increasing confidence as she spoke. She gave her her best winning grin and determined look.

“Yeah! Besides, if he doesn’t give us the answers we want, we’ll just blast him into next week using the powers he gave us!” Scootaloo boasted, throwing one of her front legs out, holding it with a hoof, resting her head on the leg, closing one eye and making “pew” sounds, which caused the other end of the room beyond the door to find two small smoldering holes on the wall. “Uh, whoops,” she stated sheepishly before blowing her hoof that was smoking.

Hesitantly, Sweetie Belle started to smile. “You’re right… We’ll get answers and find a way home no matter what. We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders after all! We can handle anything, no matter how big!” she avowed, her volume increasing as her spirits rose to the challenge.

“Now that’s the spirit!” Scootaloo cheered. “In the meantime, who wants to get their cutie mark in sky pirating!?”

Their eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. They grinned so hard at the prospect that it started to hurt.

Scootaloo held out a hoof, which was quickly bumped by two more.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders sky pirates, yay!” they chanted, breaking off from a three-way hoof bump, before rushing to the deck of the ship.

“Avast ye buckos! Turn the capstan and lift the anchor! It be time to set sail!” Apple Bloom instructed, before rushing to the helm of the ship.

“Aye aye, captain!” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle cheered, before blankly staring at one another.

“Uh, Apple Bloom? What’s a capstan?” Scootaloo asked, staring up at their captain who was busy trying to fold out a treasure map on the wheel, which kept folding back in on itself causing her to become frustrated.

“Turn the thing with the poles stickin’ out the sides,” she pointed behind them.

“Got it!” Scootaloo said as she and Sweeite Belle rushed over to push it. Try as they might, it wouldn’t budge.

“Apple Bloom, can you help us? This thing”—Sweetie Belle grunted, starting to sweat—“won’t move!” They both collapsed and panted.

Apple Bloom looked up for a moment, before staring back at the map. “…Did ya guys try pushin’ it the other way?”

They glanced at each other. Quietly they stood up, turned and started pushing the other direction. Sure enough, it turned with ease.

As the anchor climbed, Apple Bloom pulled a lever, opening two large trap doors beyond the capstan. Two blimps rose, causing the ship to start floating.

Seeing the ship rise, Apple Bloom pulled another lever, causing the large dual propellers behind the ship to start turning, leading to the ship to start pushing forward. She called out, “Scootaloo you’ll be our scout, here”—she tossed her a spy glass, to which Scootaloo leapt forward, landing on her stomach to catch—“be on the lookout for potential threats, such as storms, other pirates and what not.” Scootaloo gave her a salute before rushing to the front of the ship. “Sweetie Belle, mare the cannons, be ready to use them if any of those flying fish get any funny ideas…”

“Got it!” Sweetie Belle chirped. She saw Apple Bloom giving her a playful eyebrow raise. “I mean… aye aye, Captain!”

They giggled.

For the moment, they forgot about the current predicament they were in. They would deal with that when it came time to. For now, they were off to adventure, glory, riches and they hoped… cutie marks.

Author's Note

Another week, another chapter. The element bearers are about to get involved, oh boy... Drama is on the horizon, folks. Won't be long now.

Chapter 7: Heavy Burden

“Princess Celestia, we came as fast as we could!” a voice rang out, stopping Celestia from her nervous pacing. She turned her head towards the double doors. She watched as her pupil and her three friend—wait… She counted again: four. They were missing two. The Elements would not work with just four. She felt dread wash over her. Right as she was about to question what had happened to the others, another voice called out from beyond the doors.

“Come on Fluttershy! Seriously…? This is no time for a break! We’re right there for Pete’s sake! Oh, for the love of–” A blue blur sped in, dragging a yellow blur by the hooves. “Yeah, and we could have made it faster if somepony here decided to exercise her wings more than once a decade…” Rainbow Dash stated, rolling her eyes as Fluttershy panted while in a heap on the floor.

Celestia let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Her student and her friends had made it safely. Although she was greatly relieved to see that they were unscathed, she couldn’t shake the feeling of unease. Did Discord not actually know they were the Element bearers? Was Ponyville being his first target just a coincidence?

No, she knew better… Discord had a plan, or more accurately: a play in mind… And she had a feeling she’d—they’d be learning of it very soon.

“Sorry…I didn—I mean to say that I…I wasn’t expecting to–” Something pink quickly knelt down and came face-to-face with her.

“It’s okay, Fluttershy! I mean it waaas a super-duper long trip! We probably should have gotten you some blueberry waffles with maple buttercream icing to eat before we left so you had more energy! I know that would have worked for me!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, bouncing back up and tapping her chin. “Hmm, although actually now that I think of it strawberry chimichangas makes more sens—mmmf.” A cyan hoof blocked the offending orifice.

Celestia cleared her throat. “Thank you all for making it,” Celestia said, wishing they were meeting under better circumstances as she had greatly missed them and their antics. The Grand Galloping Gala came to the forefront of her mind for a moment. She shook her head.

“Princess Celestia, is this about the weather? And the animals’ weird behavior? What’s happening out there? Why isn’t my magic working? Is there–” Twilight’s questions died down when Princess Celestia raised a hoof.

“Follow me.”

“I’ve called you here for a matter of great importance. It seems an old foe of mine, someone I thought I had defeated long ago, has returned. His name… is Discord,” Celestia stated as she led them down the carpeted passageway of the Canterlot Tower.

Fluttershy gave out a startled cry and hid behind Pinkie Pie at hearing Discord’s name being said when she stared at the stained-glass depiction of a strange mismatched creature. Her friends all gave her questioning looks as they paused with Rainbow Dash’s being closer to a tired gaze that said really.

Celestia turned to face them. “Discord is the mischievous spirit of disharmony. Before my sister and I stood up to him, he ruled Equestria in an eternal state of unrest and unhappiness. Luna and I saw how miserable life was for Earth ponies, Pegasi, and unicorns alike, so after discovering the Elements of Harmony, we combined our powers and rose up against him, turning him to stone,” Celestia preached, her voice filled with fierce righteousness.

“Alright, Princess!” Rainbow Dash approved, hoof pumping the air.

Celestia turned from them, trotting with an increased sense of urgency. They quickly followed her.

“I thought the spell we cast would keep him contained forever, but since Luna and I are no longer connected to the Elements, the spell has been broken,” Celestia solemnly said, her righteousness almost snuffing out as the weight of their current predicament came back to her in an instant.

“No longer connected?” Twilight asked, pausing mid-step to ponder that.

Celestia paused in front of an imposing ornate polished door—or more accurately: a chamber.

“This is Canterlot Tower, where the Elements are kept inside since all of you recovered them. I need you to wield the Elements of Harmony once again and stop Discord before he thrusts all of Equestria into eternal chaos,” Celestia proclaimed. She knew eternal was a bit of an exaggeration as Discord would in time grow bored and would most likely find new playthings in other worlds, dimensions, wherever he was capable of traversing; however, she didn’t wish the bane of Discord on anyone, which is why he needed to be stopped here and now.

Celestia noticed them giving her varying unsure looks before Twilight spoke up, “But why us? Why don’t you–”

“Hey, look! We’re famous!” Pinkie blurted as she rushed over to point out a depiction of them on one of the stained glasses.

Celestia leaned down to Twilight’s level. “You six showed the full potential of the Elements by harnessing the magic of your friendship to beat a mighty foe. Although Luna and I once wielded the Element, it is you who now control their power”—she stood straight and extended her wings out as she spoke with more determination—"and it is you who must defeat Discord!”

They looked at Celestia in shock; whether it was because they didn’t expect her to suddenly shout with such a vigorous proclamation or because they were just starting to understand how important their role was, was hard to say. They turned to Twilight, expecting her to be the voice of reason. Twilight looked at everyone and must have realized this. She didn’t need to ponder long as she said, “Princess Celestia, you can count on–”

Pinkie Pie rushed to Twilight’s side before raising a hoof and interjecting, “Hold on a second! Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys. Chocolate rain!” The last part was emphasized by her poking Twilight’s side.

Twilight quickly rushed to the Princess’s side to wave off her friend, “Don’t listen to her, Princess. We’d be honored to use the Elements of Harmony again.”

With that, Celestia smiled and turned towards the chamber, before pausing as she knew there was one more matter to discuss, one that made her… uneasy. She opened her mouth to address them, before quickly shutting it as she had a sudden realization.

…If she told them about the incident at the train station, and her worst fears were confirmed, in that the fillies were in fact sisters with some of the Element bearers, how would they react? Would they be able to stay focused on their mission? What if it caused them to rush into things without a proper plan out of the fear for their sisters’ safety? Not only would they be fearful, but she’d imagine they’d also be irate, an unfortunate combination that tended to make ponies jump headlong into the fray.

Pinkie Pie was about to ask if they were playing the shh game that Fluttershy taught her whenever Pinkie did a surprise visit—which Pinkie never managed to win, strangely enough—but was struck by the odd and familiar sensation of her back legs wobbling and the back of her neck’s hairs standing on end. She blinked twice before turning around and scanning the room. She squinted while rubbing her chin before shrugging in resignation.

They noticed Princess Celestia’s delayed pause, turning to one another out of confusion and concern. Applejack was the first who spoke up as she shifted her Stetson, “Er, beggin’ yer pardon, Princess, but what’re we waitin’ fer?”

Princess Celestia didn’t seem to hear as she continued to weigh her options. She bit her lip. On one hoof it was greatly unfair to them to leave them in the dark when it came to the numerous dangers their loved ones could be in. On the other hoof she may risk not only them, but all of Equestria if she told them. She didn’t like her options, not one bit.

Twilight saddled up to her and looked up, taking notice of Celestia’s features. “Is… is there something bothering you, Princess Celestia?” she asked. She wasn’t sure what to make of her mentor, usually she was always prompt in her responses. Twilight couldn’t recall a time where she outright ignored a question she was asked. What she was thinking about, she could only guess, but she felt uneasy by this sudden change of behavior. She gently prodded the Princess on the shoulder. That got her attention.

Princess Celestia, who didn’t realize how long she had paused, suddenly stepped back in shock before speaking, “I… I am sorry, I just–” she closed her eyes and cleared her throat. Truly, I am sorry… Celestia thought, having made up her mind on what to do. She had to confirm her suspicions, but she would have to do so through different means. “The truth is, I am worried.”

“Worried? But, with the power of the Elements we should be able to–” a blue blur flew in front of Twilight, cutting her off.

“Don’t worry, Princess! We’ll kick this Discord guy’s butt so fast he won’t even realize what hit him! Just leave everything to us!” she exclaimed, pounding on her chest a couple times.

Celestia gave her a small smile, before turning to face a window. “Thank you, but there is another concern on my mind,” she stated, as she started walking to the nearest window. She peered out, looking at one of the rises of the castle.

“Ooh, oh! I know! It’s Luna’s birthday and you forgot to get her a present!” Pinkie gasped. “That’s it, isn’t it!? Quick! There’s no time! I need all your bakers, stat! ALL OF THEM!” Her eyes started darting between Celestia and her friends as she started to breathe faster. “Not only that, but we’ll need to get her presents! Oh my gosh, what if we–” Applejack forcefully closed Pinkie’s mouth.

“Woah there, Nelly. Ah know yer excited an’ all at the prospect of hosting a party fer Princess Luna an’ all that, but sugarcube? ‘tain’t the time to be frettin’ over that. An’ we don’t even know if it is her birthday… How ‘bout we just take a nice deep breath and let the Princess here tell us what’s on her mind first, ya hear?” Pinkie blinked several times before nodding vigorously, almost knocking Applejack off her hooves. She let her go. Pinkie took a deep breath and held it in, her face puffing out.

“You are not too far off; in that it involves my sister,” Celestia sighed, knowing there was no turning back now. “Discord reigned over Equestria for years, turning all those unfortunate enough to cross paths with him into mere playthings... As I have said, Luna and I saw how miserable they were, and for how long they suffered… Although it pained me greatly seeing what he was doing to them all, it hurt my sister far worse…” she said solemnly as she bowed her head.

They remained silent, unsure of how to respond to that. Before anyone could speak, she continued, “It was during that time that my sister had begun to develop her ability to enter the dreams of other ponies. It was her hope to comfort and guide those who lead uncertain lives, especially young foals.” She walked back to the Element’s chamber and faced them. “She… was excited the night she managed to enter the first dream: my own,” she choked back a laugh before clearing her throat. “At first, I was… a little upset I admit… I valued having the privacy of my mind. However, once I got over that initial reaction and realized what it meant, and what she intended to do with it I… I could not have been more proud,” she beamed, a small tear rolled down her cheek. She blinked. She…she hadn’t even felt it coming. Right as she was about to summon a kerchief, a blue aura wrapped around a tissue box appeared in front of her. With a small smile, she said her thanks as she took one.

Rarity, as well as the others, gave her an understanding smile. Applejack removed her Stetson and held it close to her chest. Rainbow Dash, who was no longer hovering and not expecting to feel things today, turned away to quickly wipe away a forming tear before anyone saw. A tissue box appeared in front of her, which earned Rarity a glare and a I’m good, thanks mouthed by Rainbow Dash as she shoved it away from her, to which Rarity just rolled her eyes, but still smiled nonetheless.

“Princess…” Twilight said under her breath, taken aback.

“It was… a joyous occasion, one that I am sad to say did not last… As we searched for the Elements and saw what had become of our future subjects during the day. My sister also saw what became of them during the night… One night, Luna was confident in her prowess of dream magic and wished to venture further and visit the dreams of other ponies. I did not wish her to, at least not yet. The first few attempts she had done on me had left her drained during the day, making the search for the Elements all the more difficult. I did not blame her in her pursuit of such a noble cause, but I also knew that we needed to stop Discord…”

They gave her a look of understanding, knowing it must have been a tough position to be in.

“When Princess Luna used her magic to visit the dreams of others, she wished to console them… However, every dream she visited she—” Celestia swallowed, her throat feeling dry.

“She what, Princess?” Twilight asked, as the group’s concern grew.

“—was faced with unspeakable terrors, not only from mares and stallions alike, but also the foals,” she shuddered. “Discord’s influence had spread far and wide and ponies had lived and dealt with him for years… Many appeared strong on the surface. They had to in order to deal with the seeds of disharmony Discord had sewn. But… the true horrors lied buried underneath, the ones most would not be able to see, most… except my sister… Every morning she would tell me what she had seen, and every morning I would tell her to stop, but she was stubborn. I saw how much it was affecting her. I knew she wanted to help, but she appeared powerless to do so... Every morning thereafter she would be the first to be ready to continue the search. I could tell that she was determined more than ever to put an end to Discord… But with each passing day, I could see she was getting less and less sleep. One morning, I awoke on my own…”

~~*~~

Celestia’s eyes blurrily opened. She removed her sleep mask and sighed as she saw a giant cheese wheel of what was supposed to be the moon. She knew it was morning, as she and her sister had the innate ability to tell when it was time to raise their respective celestial body. She hissed as the mockery of the moon quickly changed over to… an upside-down pear-shaped light, lovely. She muttered some expletives under her breath as she stretched and got up. Blinking her eyes slowly a couple times, she glanced over to her sist–

“Luna?” she asked, her morning malaise dispelling in an instant. She quickly scanned the mountain range with her eyes, before using magic: nothing. Okay, don’t panic Celestia… She’s probably just answering nature’s call… very far away… Oh dear… She panicked.

Taking a deep breath, she used the Royal Canterlot voice, “LUNA, WHERE HAVE YOU GONE, SISTER!?” The nearby trees shook with great force, many of the habitants falling or flying from their nested homes. An angry blue jay flew to her and chirped, presumably cursing her. She gave a quick sheepish apology before flying high and scanning once more. To her great irritation, the light flickered in quick succession, as the sun—whatever it was… was burning out. She screamed, igniting her horn and concentrating all her magic into one single beam. It collided with the offending object and changed it back into her beloved sun. She knew it wouldn’t take long before Discord took notice and would make a further mockery of the celestial body, so she used what reserves she had left to scan in a wider range and locate her sister as quickly as possible. She felt the familiar tinge of her magic colliding with something large and moving, she was about to write it off as perhaps one of the larger wildlife, until it tugged back ever-so-slightly, enough to where she almost missed it.

Her eyes shot open. She kept channeling the spell as she flew in the direction she felt the tug. The beginnings of a headache washed over her, but she kept pushing forward. She grit her teeth. It seemed her initial spell had cost her more than she realized.

She flew over a sea of trees for a few minutes before finding a clearing, where she found her sister skipping stones across a pond.

Celestia breathed a sigh of relief as she touched down behind her sister. “Luna, you cannot just wander off on your own without telling me. You had me worried sick… I… thought for a moment that Discord had taken you in the middle of the night…”

Luna paused for a moment, raising her head slightly, before tossing another stone.

“Luna?” Celestia asked, saddling up beside her sister and looking down. Luna didn’t look up. “Did something happen last night? Did you enter the dream of another when I had told you not to, again?” Another stone skipped.

Celestia, patient as she was, was starting to feel her irritation creep up on her. Her own sister, ignoring her, not telling her what was on her mind. She couldn’t possibly imagine why, which greatly bothered her. As Luna prepared another stone, Celestia grabbed it with her own, causing it to wobble uncontrollably for a moment, before both she and Luna let go. Luna still didn’t look up and went for another one.

“LUNA, ENOUGH OF THIS. TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG,” Celestia yelled, using the Royal Canterlot voice once more.

Luna glanced at her for a moment before speaking, “…We had entered the dream of a child last night, sister...” Luna picked up another stone and rotated it in front of her. “We saw that she was under great distress… We saw the monsters she was faced with so We vanquished them, hoping to quell her fears…” She closed her eyes.

Celestia sat beside her, wrapping a wing around her. Regret visible on her face. Celestia rubbed her back slowly in comfort as she waited for her to continue.

“We– She told us it was no monsters she was facing, but that of her own family… Discord had corrupted the mind of her own, turning them against her. She is… all alone with no family to call to,” she continued, gritting her teeth.

Celestia pulled her close.

“By striking down what We thought were her fears, We instead instilled more fear in her. She… likened us to that of a monster, wanting to bring further harm to her loved ones, sister… That We art no better than that foul serpent…” Luna muttered bitterly. “…For every dream that We visit, We are no more than that of a ripple, a momentary disturbance and nothing more.” She tossed another stone.

~~*~~

As Celestia finished recalling that particularly unpleasant memory, she opened her eyes. She saw six pairs of wide eyes staring back at her in shock.

“Aww, poor Luna! Now I’m going to have to throw her a ‘sorry-Discord-is-a-big-ol’-meanie-head’ pity party after her ‘not-birthday party’ party!” Pinkie exclaimed, scratching her head as she worked out the details. Her friends gave her a deadpan look, except Fluttershy who mumbled something about the second party idea not being a bad idea with a few modifications to the name.

Celestia gave her small appreciative smile. “I am sure she would appreciate that…” She glanced back out a window. “But, please do not tell her I said anything.”

“Okie dokie loki!” Pinkie declared, giving out invitations to all her friends.

When did she have time to make this… her friends all wondered, as they stared at their navy-blue invitations to… ‘This-is-totally-not-a-party-for-something-that-happened-a-millenia-ago-that-your-totally-not-sister-didn’t-talk-about-that-involved-you party!’

Her friends facehooved.

Pinkie rummaged through her hair and gave Celestia her invitation. Celestia snorted when she read it, covering her mouth and making sure nopony else noticed she was grinning. She cleared her throat. “Yes, well… I am sure you are all wondering why I recounted that memory to begin with…” she sighed, setting her invitation aside.

They gave her expectant stares.

“...I am worried that if Discord is not dealt with before tonight, that my sister will relive the same horrors she faced a millennia ago but in greater quantity… She only dealt with a few troubled souls at a time back then, however now that she has mastered the ability to enter and control the Dream Realm, she will be faced with hundreds—thousands facing similar strife. I fear it would be too for her to bear and I fear she may do something reckless if she knows Discord is behind it..,” she said, a half-truth. She worried for her sister’s safety, but she knew it would be Discord who would find his way to her first, not the other way around. She trusted her sister to not do anything too hastily these days, at least not without running it by her first…

Celestia turned to face the Elements’ chamber once more. She sighed in resignation. It was time to confirm if her suspicions were correct… “…I lost my sister once and for the longest time I was uncertain if the stars aligning would aid in her escape… I cannot bear to lose her again, I am sure you understand,” she stated sadly. She felt completely ashamed of herself, attempting to elicit the responses she wanted without telling them that their sisters were in danger… Was there really no other way? She gave them a side glance, ears perked as she waited for their response.

Applejack shifted uneasily as she weighed the Princess’s words. “…Ah know what ya mean... That’s a burden nopony should have to bear… ‘specially somepony who’s already had to go through it once and fer so long… Ah know Ah’d be mighty upset if Ah lost Granny Smith, Big Mac or Apple Bloom—”

Celestia’s eyes tightened hearing the last name. That accounts for one, she thought bitterly.

“—to this Discord feller,” Applejack scowled. “He’s already caused a big ruckus back on the farm… turned all our hard work into carnival food of all things… If he so much as lays one hoof on any of my family, Ah’d… Ah’d… Ah’m not rightly sure what Ah’d do but Ah’d make sure he regretted ever messing with my family. That’s fer sure…”

“He ruined your crops; he ruined a dress I made for an important client, darling! Oh, I woke up early this morning after spending a majority of the previous night working on a lovely blue une robe du soir. It. Was. To. Die. For! When all I had left was to place the centerpiece amethyst I had saved, I left the room for only a moment to go get it, only to return and find to my absolute horror that the blues had been replaced by… PLAID!” she whined, before fainting on a couch that appeared from… somewhere. “The atrocity to fabulocity that had been committed… It. Can. Not. Be. Forgiven!” She peeked from behind a leg and noticed most of her friends giving her a pointed look. Rarity chuckled nervously, before clearing her throat. “…As much as I’m upset that I lost a wonderfully designed dress, I know I’d be even more terribly upset if I lost my dearest little Sweetie Belle…” she admitted.

Two, Celestia thought, eyes clutching tighter.

Pinkie Pie saddled up to Rainbow Dash and gave her an expectant grin.

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. “What’s up, Pinks?”

“Oh! Nothing—well, not nothing nothing exactly but—”

Rainbow Dash groaned. “Pinkie Pie.”

“—since everypony else was bringing up their sisters and everything and since I know you don’t really have one,” she gasped. “Or do you!? Hmm, now that I think about it, I don’t think you’ve ever really talked about your family before, which is weird because–”

“PINKIE PIE!” Rainbow Dash yelled.

“Yeeeeeees~ Dashie?” Pinkie blinked in rapid succession completely oblivious.

“Ugh, just get to the point already, please?” Rainbow begged.

“Wasn’t that what I was doing?” Pinkie rubbed chin before shrugging. “Why don’t you bring up your sort-of-but-not-really-sister since everypony else brought up theirs?” she asked with a wide smile.

“Pinkie… I don’t have a sister or a… sort-of-whatever-you-said-sister,” she squinted as she tried to recall before shaking her head quickly, not wanting to give in to Pinkie’s madness. “And even if I did, just because everypony else seems to be bringing up theirs, doesn’t mean I would have to bring up mine,” she stated matter-of-factly.

“Oh! But what about Scootaloo?” Pinkie asked.

And that makes three, Celestia thought sorrowfully, fully confirming her suspicions, but not feeling vindicated in her actions.

“What?” Rainbow Dash questioned, floored.

“You know! She’s about this tall.” Pinkie put a hoof to Rainbow Dash’s chest. “Purple hair, orange coat, likes to ride her scooter, goes on crusades with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle a lot, started the Rainbow Dash fan club–” a cyan hoof found its way into her mouth.

“Pinkie! I know who she is. I just meant why did you bring her up?” Rainbow Dash asked, while wiping her hoof on the carpet, which earned her a horrified look from Rarity that she ignored.

“So, you can talk about how you don’t want to lose her and stuff, duh. Weren’t you paying attention, silly?” Pinkie Pie asked, as if the most obvious thing in the world as she bounced away from her.

“Wha—bu—eh—huh!?” Rainbow Dash sputtered, ruffling her own mane, wondering if she was in a coma or losing it. She sighed. No, just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie, she thought. “Okay, fine. I mean, she’s not my sister, but…” she looked up to the ceiling for a moment. “…I’d feel pretty bad if something bad happened to the squirt, alright? Happy?” Rainbow Dash admitted, shrugging, hoping the conversation would steer somewhere else.

“Yeppers!” Pinkie chirped, still bouncing. Everypony else gave Rainbow Dash a sympathetic look, which she just looked away from, partially out of embarrassment and partially because she didn’t want them to see how much she really cared for the squirt.

And with that, Celestia trotted up to the chamber. She placed her horn in the key hole and channeled her magic. The chamber opened in a brilliant blue glow and revealed a decorated ornate blue box.

They stared at it in wonder.

“Ooh~” Rarity purred. “You can keep the Elements. I’ll take that case!”

Celestia gave a pained smile, “Have no fear, ponies. I have total confidence that you will be able to defeat Discord”—she moved in front of them—"with these!” She opened the box, revealing that it was… empty.

They gasped.

Celestia dropped the box in complete shock, her wings flaring. Her mind went blank, the ringing in her ears became very noticeable, especially as it intensified rapidly.

…

“Oh well,” Pinkie stated, as she started trotting away from them. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be outside in the chocolate puddles with a giant swizzle straw,” she finished, not really grasping the seriousness of the situation. They watched her go, with mouths still agape and unmoving.

“How… how can that be? That chamber is protected by a powerful spell that only I can break! This doesn’t make any sense!” Celestia agonized, while starting another round of nervous pacing.

Loud rumbling echoed the tower, causing Fluttershy to duck beneath her hooves and causing pause for Celestia and general confusion for the others.

“What in tarnation was that?” Applejack asked, glancing between her friends before turning to the Princess.

“I… I am not sure–” The rumbling came back, this time however, there was a distinctive sound towards the end of it, that…

“hngGGgghh…”

Sounded like…

Snort.

Big snort.

…Snoring?

Celestia narrowed her eyes. “Discord… Show yourself!” she exclaimed.

“Bwah, huh?” the disembodied voice echoed.

The silence turned to laughter… which immediately turned into a coughing fit.

“Um, is the voice going to be okay?” Fluttershy asked meekly, peeking from behind Applejack.

Before Celestia could say anything, Discord spoke up, “Just one—COUGH—moment. Goodness—COUGH—me, I must have gotten choked up more than I—COUGH—realized by listening to that boring spiel Sunbutt went on about—WHEEZE.”

“Discord, enough games! Show yourself at once!” Celestia commanded, stomping a hoof.

“Oh, if you insist…” Discord appeared in a flash on one of the stained glasses. “I mean really, Celestia…” He slid from one glass to another that was closer to the group. “Going on about Looney Tuney’s character arc like that…Ugh, give me a break!” he chuckled, before summoning a tiny version of both Celestia and Luna, which he moved around like puppets. He cleared his throat before speaking in a high pitched voice, “Oh, Celestia, dearest sister of mine! How dreadfully angsty and boring I am. Thank you for being the better and least forgettable of the two of us!”

“Hey! Nobody talks about the Princess like that!” Rainbow Dash rasped out, charging him.

Discord rolled his eyes and opened a portal that replaced the stained glass he was on. Rainbow Dash flew right into it. The portal disappeared.

Everypony gasped.

“Discord! Release her this instant!” Celestia demanded, gritting her teeth and charging a spell.

“Oh, she’s fine… probably,” he chuckled. He opened another portal and reached into it while sticking out his tongue. He pulled out a tire, a very confused, but quickly enraged Queen Chrysalis, which he just bopped on the head with a whack-a-changeling stick. He then pulled out a mare in a bathrobe, who shrieked. “Whoopsie, daisy~” Discord laughed, to which the mare shuddered questioning how he knew her name, before Discord just popped her right back in. Next, he pulled out a pack of circular rainbow-colored candy. He popped some in his mouth. “Want some?” he asked, his mouth full as he shook the bag. Pinkie leapt for it, but ended up smacking her body into the stained glass. She slid down slowly, feeling dejected. She looked up to see the bag of candy hanging onto a metal spring. It tilted forward before letting go and falling, hitting her on the head. She snatched it before hobbling back to her friends who stared at her as she poured all of it into her mouth at once.

“What? It’s good!” she defended, pieces flying out of her mouth.

“Ah, here we are, practically brand new and fresh out of the box!” Discord chortled, pulling out their friend, who was shaking uncontrollably. Discord took a good look at her by shrugging. “Well, close enough. Here.” He extended his arm, which went past the glass, and dropped her off near her friends.

“Rainbow Dash!” they cried, rushing to her side.

“N-n-never a-again…” she mumbled, shaking, eyes darting back and forth.

“I know what will cheer you up!” Pinkie pulled out the pack of candy, before realizing it was empty. “Uh, never mind…” she stated sheepishly, hiding the pack like it never existed.

“What did you do to her!?” Twilight screeched, her nostrils flaring as she started preparing a spell.

“Well, it depends on which of the infinite number of dimensions she visited, so I can’t really say for certain. However, judging by the look on her face, I’d say it was either the one infested by bipedal creatures obsessed with cartoon depictions of pastel colored talking horses, or”—he grinned—“the dimension run by sentient quesadillas. Either or,” he shrugged.

Twilight’s channeling stopped. Her eyes went wide and she began to sweat. “There… there’s a dimension filled with… with…”

Discord appeared before them in a flash. He appeared to be topping his lunch with salsa and sour cream. “Bingo! Oh, how rude of me. Here I am about to enjoy a wonderfully delectable, mouthwatering cheesy sensation and I hadn’t even packed enough for the whole class!” He smacked his face in mock shock. “It would be awful if I decided to eat this now. Here”—he shoved it in Twilight’s face—“want a bite?” he grinned.

She shrieked, before cowering behind her mentor. “G-get that cheesy monstrosity away from me!” she hissed.

Discord’s arm quickly retracted. He shrugged, before summoning a trash bin and dropping the whole thing in. A muffled scream could be heard before the bin disappeared in a flash.

Celestia couldn’t believe this was happening... If Discord had control of the Elements, how in Equestria would they get them back… She knew it was pointless to try to convince him of anything, but she would try anyway. “Discord… if you surrender now and return the Elements and relinquish control of Equestria, turning it back to normal… I will pardon you for all your past crimes and promise the Elements will not be used against you if you become a law-abiding citizen,” she bit her lip.

Discord blinked before cleaning out his ears. He snorted in disbelief. “Me? A harmony rejoicing…” A halo appeared above his head as he cupped his hands together. “Flower picking…” He sniffed some daisies, which screeched. “Grass eating…” He gagged. “Tax paying…” He sat at a desk with a pair of reading glasses, holding his head with his paw as a tower of papers crashed to the ground as he typed away at a printing calculator. “Law-abiding member of society?” He looked at Celestia, believing she was pulling his leg. He looked down. Nope, still there, he thought.

“…Yes?” she asked, minimally hopeful, trying her best to hide her nervousness.

Discord collapsed to the floor and laughed like he never laughed before. “Ha ha ha! That’s Hil-arious! You crack me up sometimes, you know that, Sunny?” He wiped a tear away, before quickly floating upwards.

Celestia frowned.

“You should consider doing stand up comedy sometime, Celly. In fact, I have a schedule for you to start later today, look!” He held out a clipboard in front of her. It only had her name written several times, each being… unique nicknames. “I’ll come by and pick you up later today, after I put the kids to bed, of course,” he said as he dismissively waved to the Element bearers, which earned him a harsh glare.

He started pacing again. “If you were really serious about the whole surrender thing”—He waved a white flag—“then you should have just had your sister show me her extensive moon rock collection.” He graded a rock using a loupe, before stamping it with a bold red D and disintegrating it. “Which I’m sure she’s had more than enough time to become acquainted with. The moment she would have brought it up, would have been the moment I handed the Elements back to you on a golden platter.” He revealed the Elements behind a golden dome, to which they all gasped at seeing. Celestia was the first to react, immediately attempting to grab hold of them with her magic. It disappeared in a flash. “Ohh, so close!” He breathed in through his teeth. “Maybe next time, little Tia…” he cooed as he pinched her cheek.

Celestia attempted to blast him in the face, which he dodged by splitting his head in two. He crossed his arms and blew a raspberry at her.

“Soooo, would you surrender if we got Luna to show you her extensive moon rock collection or not?” Pinkie scratched her head, “I mean if we got her right now then we could–” she gasped. “We could have a Discord-surrendered-hip-hip-hooray-everything-is-back-to-normal party, on top of Luna’s parties! This could be the most party-rific day ever!” Pinkie cheered, throwing her hooves in the air as confetti flew.

Discord gave a mock gasp at the idea. “A party, in my honor!? Well~ I’m certainly not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.” He disappeared in a flash, reappearing as part of the stained glass that had the Element bearers on it. “Not to brag or anything, but at parties I’m known to be quite the sight on the dance floor~”

“A sight for sore eyes…” Rainbow Dash quipped, mumbling under her breath, causing Applejack to snort.

“Got the moves, got the mojo~” Discord sang, dancing on the stained-glass version of Twilight’s head, causing Pinkie to start giggling uncontrollably. Discord joined in.

“Pinkie!” Twilight exclaimed, feeling more and more exasperated by the situation by the minute.

Pinkie snorted, trying to contain her giggles. “He’s standing on your head!” She failed and the dam burst with her uncontrollable laughter.

Discord sighed mirthfully. “You know, Pinkie Pie… I’m going to be in need of a jester soon for when I take over Equestria… I’d be more than happy to cross Miss Sunshine over there off the list and replace her with you, if you so choose~” He reappeared and wrapped an arm around Pinkie’s neck. “Think about it!” He waved his claw in an arc. “You’d be the perfect fit. You do represent the Element of Laughter after all~ I’m even willing to sweeten the deal! I’ll give you a portion of my power to do as you please… You could have all the chocolate rain and cotton candy clouds you could ever want! And all you’ve got to do is… abandonyourfriendsforever” he coughed the last part, before giving her his best winning grin.

Pinkie Pie furrowed her brows, rubbing her mouth. “Hmm…” She looked over to her friends who were all rapidly shaking their heads. “I don’t know… Although, the chocolate rain does sound… appetizing? Appeasing? Oh! Appetizeasing!”

“So, do we have a deal?” Discord gave her a toothy grin, holding out his claw, which caught on fire. He blew on it before shaking it a couple times causing the fire to go out, before reaching out once more.

His grin grew as Pinkie seemed to be smiling more and more at the prospect.

Pinkie’s friends shouted, “Don’t do it, Pinkie!”

“He’s a snake!”

“A charlatan!”

“He’s just trying to trick you!”

“Um… don’t do it, please…”

“He’s a darned liar an’ ya know it!”

Pinkie looked at Discord and gave him a beaming smile. “That sounds super-duper-rific! But…” She looked to her friends who were clutching their teeth in anticipation. “It would be even more super-duper-looper-rific-tastic with my friends… Soooo… no deal,” she said as she bounced back to her friends.

They breathed a sigh of relief.

Discord’s grin deflated into a scowl, and his arm went limp. “Oh, fine. I didn’t really want you by my side anyway. I would have grown bored of you in an instant. The only one I need is myself,” he stated matter-of-factly. “You and”—he reappeared behind the main group and waved to them in a sweeping motion—"this bunch can all become piñatas for my next birthday bash. Element of Laughter? Ha! What a joke…” he said as if he were offended by her very existence. He crossed his arms.

Rainbow Dash flew up to his face. “Hey! Leave her alone and stay away from my friends!”

Discord scoffed. “Ooh, Element of Loyalty, funny that… Say… where’s that one feathered friend of yours, hmm?” He stroked his beard, appearing thoughtful, before giving her a side glance with a slowly increasing menacing grin as the wheels turned in Rainbow Dash’s head.

“Huh? Who are you…” Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” he chuckled, floating lazily around her. “I was merely asking an innocuous question about the strange absence of a supposed friend, that’s all~”

Rainbow Dash grit her teeth, veins started to show on her head.

“Remind me, I’m woefully inept at keeping track of names, especially when it comes to ponies…” He tapped his chin. “But, it’s strange… I’m surprised I had forgotten her name, seeing as she’s not a pony…” He watched with sadistic glee as Rainbow Dash was reaching her boiling point. “What was her name? Bilgerat? Matilda? Grillduh…?”

“Gilda. Her. Name. Is. Gilda.” Rainbow Dash said through gritted teeth, about ready to knock his head clean off.

“Oh!” He snapped back, placing his paw on his chest. “Well, why didn’t you just say so?” he laughed. “So, where is she? Where’s your friend?” He scanned the room with a pair of binoculars and a safari outfit. He picked up Rarity to look where she stood.

“Wahhh! Unhand me you brute!” she shrieked as she banged her fetlocks on his arms.

Discord gasped, dropping Rarity unceremoniously. He grabbed a hold of Rainbow Dash’s shoulders. “Unless… you’re no longer friends!? Say it isn't so!” He shook her before letting go as she tried to hit him with a back hoof.

“How can that be? I thought you represented the Element of Loyalty! How could you just abandon her like that?”

Rainbow Dash wiped her head around to face him, her face completely red. “I DIDN’T ABANDON HER!” Before she could go on a tirade about how wrong he was and why, Discord simply continued unfazed by her reaction.

“Whatever floats your boat…” He shrugged, rowing a boat mid-air. It disappeared in a flash. “But, from what I understand, you choose to become loyal to your new friends, ditching your old one, becoming…”—he smirked—“disloyal to Gildielocks in the process. Imagine how she feels!” He fell back into a psychiatrist's couch, while another Discord in a collared shirt wrote notes, or more accurately, drew a poorly drawn Rainbow Dash kicking a highly detailed Gilda out of a home while laughing at her. “Poor dear, probably crying herself to sleep each night, feeling betrayed that the Element of Loyalty herself dumped her like yesterday’s trash! So sad…” He patted his dry eyes with a kerchief whilst his psychiatrist self nodded in agreement.

“Who’s to say you won’t have to make that choice again? Or…” He had a maniacal twinkle in his eyes. He slithered through the air, quickly getting close to Rainbow Dash. “Your friends abandon you first…” he whispered conspiratorially.

“YOU DON’T KNOW THEM!” Rainbow Dash screamed. The idea of turning him back into stone no longer appeasing her, rubble however… Before she could tackle him, she felt several hooves wrap around her. They struggled to hold her back. But then, a magenta glow wrapped around her as well, finally keeping her in place.

They all glared at Discord.

“Course he don’t know us! Jus’ cause he seems to know our past, doesn’ mean he really knows a darned thing ‘bout us! He’s jus’ tryin’ tah get to our heads, RD! Simmer down!” Applejack reasoned, attempting to diffuse the bomb that was about to rainboom.

Rainbow Dash’s nostrils flared. She knew her friend was right, but she didn’t care. When I find an opening, I’ll knock that smug look off his face… Rainbow Dash thought.

“Ahh, the Element of Honesty… Tell me…” Discord reappeared next to Rarity and snapped his claw. A pink dress with yellow stripes appeared on her.

Rarity shrieked for a moment at the sudden change until she came to the realization of what she was wearing. “My Grand Galloping Gala dress? What in Celestia’s name…” she mumbled, causing one particular individual to raise their eyebrows in surprise. Rarity looked down and around the dress. She brought her hoof up to her head and felt her crown there as well, before adjusting it. Oh, where’s a mirror when you need one… Rarity wondered, horrified at being caught unprepared without a makeup kit, a brush and… a few dozen bags of essentials to spruce up, of course.

“In your honest opinion. What do you think of your friend’s dress?” Discord held a microphone in front of Applejack, causing her to stumble back in startlement.

“Don’t be shy now! Honesty is the best policy after all~” he mockingly teased, cackling at her discomfort.

“Uh…” Applejack started to sweat. She removed her Stetson and started to fan herself. She looked in every direction except her friend.

Rarity stopped looking at the dress and noticed Applejack’s discomfort. “Applejack?” she asked, confused by the reaction.

“Heh… well Ah… It—Boy howdy, sure is hot in here, huh?” Applejack nervously gulped, still looking around the room.

Rarity narrowed her eyes. “You… you don’t like it, do you?” She gasped. “Did you even like the dress I made for you!?” she asked, completely startled at even the thought.

Applejack stomped her hoof. “Course Ah liked the dress ya made for me, Ah told ya Ah did before, didn’t Ah?” Her conviction made Rarity pause.

“Then why…”

Applejack sighed. “Look, the dress ye’re in… Ah think it looks nice an’ all, but…” she bit her lip.

“But what?” Rarity asked, giving Applejack a dangerous look that told her she was on thin ice.

“Ah just think it’s… a bit too… flashy is all. That’s all, honest,” Applejack tried to smile, but Rarity’s burning gaze bore holes into her, causing her to sweat more.

After what seemed like an eternity, Rarity looked away and turned her snout up. “Hmph, well… At least you liked the dress I made you. I suppose I can live with that…”

Applejack sighed in relief. “So, no hard feelins'?” she asked, hopeful.

Rarity’s expression softened. She trotted up to Applejack with her head ducked, before looking up and giving her a small smile. “Of course not, darling. I know you never intended to hurt my feelings. Your sometimes brutish honesty can sting, I must admit… but… I’ll never let that stand between us.” Rarity gave her a hug, which was received back. Their friends gave them a smile, with Pinkie bursting into tears.

The microphone cluttered to the ground, causing a loud feedback noise to come from… somewhere.

Discord dry heaved. “Gag! Bleh! Ugh… I think I’m going to be sick…” He dry heaved again.

“Discord, no matter what you try you can’t break our friendship! You’ve underestimated us… Just give it up now!” Twilight exclaimed in defiance standing between him and her friends.

“Yeah! You tell ‘em Twi!” Rainbow Dash backed, hoof pumping the air.

Discord mimicked Twilight with his claws, “Meh, meh, meh, friendship yay~” He shook his hands near his head to emphasize the last word. He gagged. He put his hands on his hips and peered down at her. “We’ll see about that, Lil’ Miss Element of Magic,” he cackled darkly. He reappeared away from the group. “When you all inevitably fail, I’ll be turning her”—he pointed to Rarity—“into my personal back scratcher, which I’m sure she’ll be all too obliged to become, just because she’s sooo~ wonderfully generous.” Rarity’s face turned green both at the thought, and seeing Discord scratching his back with a figure of her. “And”—he reappeared behind Fluttershy, causing her to shriek. Before she could run, he picked her up by the tail—“my front doormat has been in need of a replacement for a long time, you know… Won’t you ever as be so kind as to replace it, my dear. Hmm?” He gave her a devilish grin, which caused her to whimper.

Rainbow Dash tackled him, catching him unaware and causing him to let go of Fluttershy. A magenta aura wrapped around Fluttershy, catching her and bringing her close to her friends.

Discord teleported away and dusted himself off. He scowled. He prepared to snap his claw.

Celestia teleported between him and the group. “Discord, enough of this! Stop stalling! What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?” Celestia boomed, her temper finally reaching a breaking point. Her wings flared.

Discord rolled his eyes at the display. “Oh, because you asked so nicely…” he sarcastically remarked. “Tell you what, I’m feeling particularly generous today, perhaps rivaling the Element of Back Scratcher herself. I’m willing to give you a chance to retrieve your precious Elements, but only if we do things my way…” He disappeared in a flash, before becoming part of one of the stained glasses. He moved between each stained glass as he spoke, “Listen closely. To retrieve your missing Elements, just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the Elements back where you began.” He gave one final laugh that echoed before disappearing.

“C-can we go home now?” Fluttershy, shaking on the floor, asked looking from behind her hooves to see if the coast was clear.

Applejack trotted up to Twilight, who was lost in thought. “What do ya reckon he meant? Twists and turns and endin’ back where we started?”

Twilight furrowed her brows and walked to a nearby window. “Twists and turns… twists and turns!” she exclaimed, as she looked out the window. “That’s it! I bet Discord hid the Elements in the palace labyrinth!”

Princess Celestia nodded. “Good luck, my little ponies.” She trotted up to Twilight and bowed twice, her horn going over each shoulder of Twilight. “The fate of Equestria is in your hooves.”

Twilight looked up. “Thanks, Princess. We won’t let you down.” Twilight gave her a determined look and immediately took off with her friends, minus one towards the exit.

When they got to the door, Rainbow Dash was the first who took notice of the missing canary colored companion. “Hey, hold up! Where’s Flutter–” she went silent when she turned around and saw her friend still shaking on the floor. Concerned, and somewhat miffed, she prepared to go back, but paused when Princess Celestia beat her to the punch.

Celestia paused when she reached Fluttershy’s side, before kneeling down beside her. When Fluttershy didn’t seem to notice, she wrapped a wing around her.

Fluttershy, who was lost in a cycle of perpetual fear, thinking over her encounter and subsequent bad scenarios that could follow, jerked in surprise at the touch, before calming when she realized who it was. She looked up.

“...I was like you once and in a way… I still am,” Celestia admitted, looking thoughtful.

Fluttershy, unable to wrap her mind around how somepony like Celestia could be like her, asked, “L-like me? I’m sorry… but… how?”

Celestia looked towards the group who were still waiting by the doors and took notice that they were patiently watching them in surprise. She closed her eyes.

“When I was young, I too found it difficult to face my fears. Back then, I would often assume the worst, leading me to not wanting to face them head on… My sister on the other hoof… Well, I am not quite certain she thought very hard about any of the challenges we were faced with, as she tended to tackle them as soon as she was made aware of them, sometimes quite literally,” she quietly laughed.

Fluttershy’s minimal shaking stopped as she listened intently.

“I was… admittedly frustrated by her rash decisions. Everytime I would question her and ask why she kept doing it and everytime I would receive the same answer. Can you guess what it was?”

Fluttershy shook her head.

“‘What dost thou mean, sister? We do it to protect thou, would thou not do the same for us?’” Celestia quoted, trying her best to imitate her sister’s tone.

Fluttershy looked down to her hooves. “She sounds very brave, but… I don’t think I could ever be like that.”

“And you don’t need to be,” Celestia said, raising Fluttershy’s chin.

Fluttershy blinked in surprise.

“It is good to acknowledge when you are afraid, my little pony. There is nothing wrong with that. However, was it not you who found strength facing a dragon out of fear of what he would do to your friends? And was it not your friends who stuck by your side, choosing not to lose faith in you despite your fears that very day?”

“I…” Fluttershy started, but was unsure of what to say to that.

Celestia continued, “...When Luna was no longer by my side I had to learn to face my fears without a sister and without friends for the longest time… I still get scared, and I will always be fearful of what could happen… But, do you know what gives me the courage to face my fears now?”

Fluttershy shook her head once more.

Celestia leaned down. “You do,” she whispered, giving Fluttershy a bright smile.

Fluttershy’s eyes widened in shock and jaw went slack.

Celestia stood up. “Trust in your friends and you will find the courage to face any obstacle.”

Fluttershy looked up to see her friends, all oblivious of what was spoken, waving at her to join them. Fluttershy turned to Celestia and gave her a timid smile, which was received back before she got up and flew to join her friends.

Celestia gave them a tired look as they left, finally letting the full weight of her deception from earlier bear down on her. She bowed her head in shame before appearing pensive. She wondered if it was too late to just tell them, just be honest with them. She kept telling herself that it was for the best, that if she did tell them then they’d find themselves tangled in Discord’s web, right where he wanted them… But not telling them was wrong. They had every right to know that their sisters were in danger, especially since…

She paused, a horrifying realization finally dawning on her.

…Especially since if they beat Discord, what if they never found where Discord hid them…

How did I not realize that sooner!? Celestia you absolute fool! Celestia seethed, letting out a frustrated grunt.

She paced, weighing her options once more. She should go tell them right now. All she would have to do is teleport to them and alert them… The safety of Equestria was important, yes. But, losing the trust of her beloved pupil and her friends was a terrible price to pay. She felt stuck, with no real options. Oh, what would her sister think of her…

She blinked… Her sister…

Hmm, she wondered. With Discord distracted, Luna could locate the sisters and they could safely retrieve them. It was a gamble though, especially if Discord caught wind of what they were doing... The girls would also need to be asleep, or well, at least one of them and it wasn’t by any means late yet… But, Luna could keep a close eye in the Dream World, waiting for the moment for one to fall asleep. Perhaps, they wouldn’t have to wait long, at least she hoped.

She walked towards a window. Once she reached it, she peered out towards one of the high rises of the castle. She narrowed her eyes, determined.

You’ll pay dearly for this, Discord. If so much as one hair is out of place on any of them, being a statue will be the least of your worries…

She teleported.

Author's Note

This chapter was a bear for me to write, phew... I know it's a bit longer than my typical chapter, but I had too much fun with Discord and his first interaction with the Mane Six, so no apologizes.

I'm not too pleased with how I handled Celestia and her motivations... That was iffy from the start for me. I hope it didn't come out too poor or out of character for her.

As for how Discord knew about Rainbow Dash's past friend? Well, I imagine Celestia told him while in his statue form about that day's particular lesson, like with several other lessons, leading Discord to look back into the past temporarily to learn how to better mess with her head.

As for how he knew about Twilight's interesting phobia with quesadillas? Eh, that one is a bit more iffy and I can't rightly say, but it was fun to write, okay?

Discord knowing about Applejack's strong opinions about fashion and how she doesn't care for it unless its practical? Also, admittedly iffy, but certainly fun to write too.

Celestia knowing that her story would lead to them telling her about their sisters? It was more of a shot in the dark, really. If she didn't learn of it from them, she would have gone to Miss Cheerilee—who was taken to the Canterlot Resort if you remember—after the group left to confirm from her. However, I wouldn't have had fun going that route, so meh. Sorry.

Anyway! Hope that clears a few questions that you may have had while going through this chapter... Next one should be considerably shorter. I have some fun scenes planned for that one. Hope you enjoyed. See you next week!

Chapter 8: Twists and Turns

Applejack began to wonder what the big deal was with mazes. What made them so popular? You start at one point, get lost, and bumble your way out eventually; pretty strange entertainment if you asked her. Back on the farm the Apples would host a corn maze event every year for about a week; it was good for business. Well, ‘least it was until ponies started complaining about how it was the same maze every year… She didn’t understand the fuss, after all, why fix something that wasn’t broke? She shook her head. She made a sharp turn and was met with yet another dead end. “Consarnit…” she muttered under her breath as she made a U-turn and galloped with more vigor.

As she passed a turn she noticed a blur of red in her peripherals. She abruptly dug her hooves into the ground and leaned back to come to a halt. She peered around the edge of the hedge and saw… some apples? She took a leisurely trot up to them; curious. She stopped when she got close. Before she could get a chance to inspect them, they moved.

Applejack stared in shock for a moment before lowering one brow. “What in tarnation?” she queried, unsure of what to make of it. She didn’t think about it too long, and galloped after them. Even at full throttle she wasn’t gaining on them. She watched as they made a right turn down a fork in the maze. She lowered her head and grit her teeth as she pushed herself harder to catch up. She knew if she didn’t there was a good chance she’d lose sight of them if they made another turn down another fork or bend. She made the turn.

What she expected when she turned was to see the three apples rolling impossibly fast by some unknown force, what she didn’t expect to see was something pink and unmoving.

Her gallop turned into a slow and measured pace. From a distance she wasn’t really sure what it was, only that it appeared torn and was stationed in the middle of the road, billowing in the wind. At first based on its shape she wondered if it was some kind of giant pink butterfly that had met its unfortunate end, but as she got closer, she noticed it was hollow on both sides as the wind blew on it, making it seem like it had… loops?

“Huh,” Applejack wondered as she came to a stop above it. Gently she scooped it up, inspecting it closer. It was torn up, but there was no mistaking it, it was somepony’s pink bow. What she couldn’t wrap her head around was the fact that it looked very familiar. Which was strange because she didn’t know many ponies from Canterlot, outside of some she did business with, none of which she could recall ever wearing something like it. She’d never seen any of her friends wear something like it either… well… except Rarity, but she didn’t bring any bags in the maze with her as far as she could remember. Heck, she could only think of a few ponies she knew who wore a bow besides her sis—she dropped it.

Now hold on that doesn’ make a lick of sense, she tried to reason with herself. She picked it up again, and held it as far away from her as possible, as if trying to imagine it being on somepony, somepony like her sister… As damaged as it was, it was strikingly similar to the one Apple Bloom wore. Was it just a coincidence? After all, there was no reason her sister would be here…

…

Oh, horseapples…

She grabbed it with her mouth and ran as fast as she could forward. She blinked as she quickly realized she was coming up on a clearing… A clearing… Was she close to the middle of the maze and didn’t realize it? She shook her head, attempting to dispel the thought. The Elements could wait. She needed to find her sister first and foremost.

The endless green left her peripherals as she made into the… orchard? “Wha’ ‘n th’ hay…” she said with a muffled voice, still clutching onto the bow. It was a decent sized orchard too, given how many apple trees there were. Mighty strange. Why have an orchard in the middle of a convoluted maze of all things? Applejack wondered as she scanned it. Her eyes drifted to the left; she froze.

She spat out the bow in shock. “Apple Bloom!” she yelled, dashing towards her new objective.

Apple Bloom sat, unmoving staring into a pond. She didn’t turn as she heard her name being called out, nor did she turn when a set of hooves wrapped around her in a fierce hug.

“Oh, Ah’m so glad ye’re alright, sugarcube… Ya had me mighty worried when I saw yer bow… Oh shoot, Ah must have dropped it—doesn’ matter…” Applejack started out, still clutching onto her sister. She looked around, noticing it was just the two of them. “Say, Apple Bloom? Uh… where’s yer classmates and yer teacher?” She narrowed her eyes. “Did they leave ya behind!?” She gasped as another thought crossed her mind. “Did they take the train back home without ya!?” She paused at the sudden realization that there wasn’t much of a home left back home at the moment… “Never mind all that… Phew, Ah’m just glad ye’re alright… but, ‘tain’t safe here. We need ta get ya out of here.” Applejack stepped back and adjusted her Stetson. She didn’t know if there was a way out at the moment, but it didn’t matter… She’d make a way out if she had to. “Alright, so Ah need ya ta stick close by me, ya hear? Don’t want ya to get lost… again. Now, come on,” Applejack stated, letting go of her and turning around.

…

Applejack turned her head back to Apple Bloom. She blinked. “Uh, Apple Bloom?” she asked, concerned, trotting back up to her sister. Now that she thought about it… Apple Bloom didn’t so much as flinch when she hugged her, nor did she do much of… well… anything. She crouched down and reached out. “Sugarcu–”

“Leave me alone!” Apple Bloom fumed, knocking Applejack’s hoof away from her, but not turning to her.

Applejack flinched hard. She sputtered, eyes flicking back and forth at the ground in front of her for a moment as her mind raced. She turned her attention back to sister while in complete shock. Her mouth opened and closed repeatedly. “Wha—Apple Bloom! What in the—what has gotten into ya!?”

Apple Bloom didn’t respond and instead chose to fold her hooves in front of her and keep her focus on the pond in front of her.

“Hey! Listen ta me when Ah speak ta ya, Apple Bloom! Ya can’t jus’ go an’ ignore ye’re own big sister like that!” Applejack exclaimed, exasperated.

Apple Bloom stuck her snout up in the air. “Hmph.”

Applejack’s eyes twitched. “Alright, that tears it.”

Applejack strutted up to her, and kneeled. “Ah’m gonna give ya the count to three, Apple Bloom.”

“One.” Nothing.

“Two,” Applejack drawled, narrowing her eyes.

Apple Bloom remained still.

“Thre–”

Apple Bloom’s head whipped around to face her, causing Applejack to fall on her rump.

Apple Bloom shot up on all fours. “Ya always do this to me! Every time! Always treatin’ me like Ah’m a baby!” She dug at the ground with one hoof. Her nostrils flared. She marched up to her and put her snout in Applejack’s face. “Well, no more! Ah’m done with you.”

Applejack reared back further and floundered about. “What!? Ya can’t jus’—done with me!? What in tarnation are ya goin’ on about!? Ah don’t treat ya like a baby, Ah treat ya like a sister who cares, Apple Bloom!” she reasoned.

“Ya, well… Ah don’t have a sister!” Apple Bloom screamed, sending Applejack reeling backwards.

Applejack’s eyes widened. She stared up to her unsure if she heard that right. She… she didn’t hear that right, no way no how… “Wh-what…?” Applejack faltered.

“Ah said, Ah. Don’t. Have. A. Sister!” she bellowed.

Applejack couldn’t believe her ears, was she going deaf? Was this some horrible nightmare? Even though she knew she was bad at fancy mathematics, she knew that this certainly wasn’t adding up. Where was all this coming from?

Before she could even begin to think to speak, Apple Bloom continued. “Ah’m done with you. Ah’m done being treated like a baby. And… Ah’m done with Sweet Apple Acres,” she spat. She promptly turned, not before giving her one last glare, and bolted, heading towards the only exit out of the orchard.

Applejack watched her own sister leave in stunned silence. Unable to process any of it. But she knew didn’t have time to process it; she had to stop her sister from getting away. “Wha—Apple Bloom!” She jumped up back to all fours and raced after her. “Apple Bloom, wait an apple-pickin’ minute!” Applejack exclaimed, adrenaline pumping through her system. Applejack caught up, and reached out, ready to pull her sister back by the tail.

Almost.

As she stretched her neck out to grab her, a green wall jutted from the ground. She smacked into it at full force. She fell back, dazed. She quickly got back up and started patting the wall that wasn’t there a moment ago. She panicked. “Apple Bloom! Apple Bloom!” she screamed, pounding on the wall. She tried bucking it, she tried climbing it, she tried ramming it. All she managed to accomplish was leave a small impact crater with some crushed up leaves. To her shock, the crater bulged outwards, and the once crushed leaves returned to their original form. It was as if she never even tried.

She collapsed, exhausted. She panted, trying to catch her breath. “Apple Bloom…” she muttered…

Now she had time to reflect on it, but she didn’t want to. Her words stung something fierce, even if it didn’t make a lick of sense… Done with her…? Done with the family…? Why… Her face contorted, tears streaming down her face as she bucked the immovable hedge one last time as hard as she could, leaving a large indent that quickly repaired itself once more. “Why…” she choked. “Apple Bloom…”

Her eyes drifted forward, before landing on the pink bow. She sighed. She got up slowly and wiped her face and put her Stetson back on. Come on Applejack, ‘tain’t the time to be fussin’, she thought. She stepped forward and bent down to grab the bow—Something hit her in the head. She winced and rubbed her newly aching spot. She looked down to see an apple. An apple that was moving away from her. There it was again, some phantom force moving another one… She looked up and saw a few apples fall out of several trees at once, followed by several more apples falling out of several more trees.

They danced in place for a moment, before suddenly changing direction: her direction. She hopped back in startlement. She remained still unblinking as she stared on in shock. What in the hay is happenin’? she wondered.

The apples started laughing, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. “Wh-who are y’all?” she asked, on edge. Three giant groups of apples formed as they danced around her. They had gaps in them, making it appear as if they had eyes and a mouth.

“The keepers of the grove of truth. You may ask us…”

“One question…”

“But be warned…”

“That the truth…”

“May not always be pleasant…”

Applejack stared in shock. Grove of truth? Any question? She shook her head. “Ah don’t care about none of that! Please, ya got ta help me get outta here! Ah got ta get to mah baby sister ‘fore she gets herself into trouble!”

“Ah, that we can help with my dear…”

“But in order for that to occur…”

“You need to accept the truth…”

The truth? She furrowed her brows, confused as to what they were implying. “What in the hay is that supposed ta mean!? What truth? What are y’all spoutin’ on about?” Applejack retorted, starting to become irritated.

“Here in the grove of truth…”

“Lies will keep you bound…”

“Accepting the truth is the only way to be found…”

The three groups rolled away from her. Some individual apples lingered, dancing around her hooves, as if beckoning her to follow.

Accepting the truth is the only way to be found, rang through her head. She frowned as she pondered that. Accept the truth? She’s never been one to lie to herself… But, if this was the only way to get to her sister, she had to take it.Reluctantly, she followed. Her eyes danced between the three large groups of sentient apples that bobbed up and down as they waited for her. She shuddered as their grins bore deep into her psyche. Somethin’ strange goin’ on… Ah don’t like it one bit, she thought. She slowed as she approached the pond once more.

“For the answers you seek…”

“Go ahead, take a peek…”

She did. At first nothing happened, but then the water rippled, making way for an image to appear: an image of her sister. Apple Bloom stood under the arch of the wooden Apples’ sign. She had a singular bag resting on her back.

“Wait, Apple Bloom!” Applejack pleaded, running up to Apple Bloom and pushing her snout into Apple Bloom’s. “If ya stay, Ah’ll give ya less chores!”

That gave Apple Bloom pause. She leaned her head back and tapped her chin. “Mmm… nah,” she stated simply, walking around her.

Applejack frantically ran back in front of her. She trotted forward, causing Apple Bloom to backpedal. “Ah’ll help ya with… uh… math?” she asked with a nervous grin. Flinching as she realized that out of all the subjects she could have said, that was the worst.

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow at her as she stopped in place, no longer being deterred.

Applejack faltered, coming to a halt. “Uh…” Her eyes darted all around, before landing on an apple tree. She ran up to it. “Ya always said you wanted ta learn ta applebuck, right!? Well, it’s a good day as any ta learn!” She gave it a kick, causing a few leaves to fall. Oh, right… Discord ruined our crops… she cursed under her breath.

Apple Bloom just rolled her eyes and kept moving.

Applejack ran in front of her once more. This time however, Apple Bloom just walked around.

Applejack followed her, saddling up to her side. “Ah’ll stop treatin’ ya like a baby just as ya asked! Honest!” She tried to give her best winning smile she could, which came across pained and lopsided. That was what her sister wanted, right? No longer being treated like she was a youngin’? Surely that would get her to stop.

“Too late,” Apple Bloom replied in an increasingly irate voice, still keeping her focus on the road in front of her.

That caused Applejack to stop and stutter. She was grasping for straws now. In a fit of hysterics, she launched herself at one of Applebloom’s heels, latching on. “Don’t go, Apple Bloom! ‘twon’t be the same without ya! Please!” she begged

“Let go!” Apple Bloom shook her back leg and weaseled her way free. She galloped at full speed, leaving them to wallow.

Applejack got up hesitantly and brought her Stetson down to her face. “…Guess that’s the end of Sweet Apple Acres,” she choked. She walked back to the arch and pulled out a ladder to start taking down the chains that held up the Apples’ sign.

“…Ee-eeyup,” Big McIntosh sobbed watching the last of Apple Bloom and the dust plume she left over the crest of the hill she went over.

Granny Smith remained silent as her lip trembled as she watched alongside him.

Applejack reared back from the pond. “N-no! Apple Bloom leaving Sweet Apple Acres!? Our farm being shut down!?” She shook her head swiftly. “It can’t be true. It jus’ can’t! None of this makes a lick of sense!” she quivered, holding her head and shaking, unable to process any of it.

“When all the truth does…”

“Is make your heart ache…”

“Sometimes a lie is easier to take…” a laugh echoed.

Applejack stared into the eyes of one of the piles of apples, her eyes started rippling different colors as she became hypnotized. Her coat’s natural orange became dull and lifeless.

She rapidly shook her head, wondering what had just happened. Oh, right… She frowned, remembering her earlier conversation with her NOT family member… Nope, ain’t no sister of mine, no siree… She bit her lip, which started to quiver.

The wall that blocked her from leaving earlier, suddenly opened, revealing a befuddled Twilight who blinked in surprise. She looked down, seeing dirt that had no clear indication on the mechanics of how the hedge disappeared into the ground. Fascinating… Twilight thought, wondering how much of it was magic based. Her ears perked up to the sound of shuffling hooves. Twilight snapped out of her “Twilight” mode, and remembered why she’d stopped at the wall in the first place: voices. She smiled widely at seeing her friend, feeling relieved to find somepony she recognized, or well anypony really. “Applejack! Thank goodness! I thought I heard voices.” She paused, hearing something she’d never thought she’d hear coming from the rough and tough dependable pony that was her friend Applejack: sobbing. “Applejack?” she asked, concerned and bewildered. Twilight’s gait was awkward as she paused a few times in her approach. She tried to figure out the best way to console her friend, before settling with the most comforting voice and maneuver she could think of. She placed a hoof on Applejack’s shoulder. The orange mare flinched at the touch. “Applejack… what’s… what’s wrong?”

Applejack whirled on her, angry; her face streaming with tears. “A-ain’t n-nothin’ wrong! Nothin’. At. All!” she wailed, bolting towards the entrance.

“A-applejack! Wait!” Twilight yelled after her, completely stunned. Her concern at an all-time. Seeing her friend like this was heartbreaking. Something definitely happened, and she was going to get to the bottom of it. A thought came to mind that delayed her moment, something very strange just occurred in their exchange and she just now realized it. Did… did Applejack just… lie? Twilight thought for a moment before shaking her head. It didn’t matter. If she did, she obviously did it because she was very hurt, which was more than enough reason to catch up to her friend. She tried to channel her magic to teleport to her, but… Right, no horn… She ran after her. “Applejack!”

A set of four yellow hooves stood around a corner and watched as they departed. A wicked smirk crossed her features. She reached for a red marker and awkwardly fumbled for it with her hooves, before trying her mouth. It fell out. Oh, right. She rolled her eyes, shifting back into his original form. The marker floated and crossed out an apple on a sheet of paper. A guttural laugh bubbled to the surface as Discord morphed into a gelatinous-like form and shot up into the air, leaving a narrow and long trail to follow in his wake. He arched through the sky as he changed directions, heading towards his next destination.

Rarity couldn’t believe her rotten luck. First, a dress she’d poured hours into for an important client was ruined. Second, she’d been pulled into some positively barbaric sport… Third, dirt. DIRT EVERYWHERE. Rarity paused to lift a hoof up. She turned her head and closed her eyes, not wanting to look. She recoiled at the thought of how badly cracked she’d imagined her hoof was. She pried an eye open slowly to inspect it; her heart sank and she nearly fainted. It was worse than she thought. Her lip wavered at seeing the hairline split. It was going to take hours of a proper hooficure to remedy that! Discord would rue the day he crossed paths with her! She would ensure he would pay handsomely! Preferably with sapphires. No, scratch that: diamonds.

She made another turn–

“Achoo!”

“Gesundheit, Sweetie Belle,” Rarity stated simply as she kept moving, keeping her snout up and her eyes closed. She froze. She fluttered her eyelashes a couple times and spun around towards the source. “Swe—WhahaAHHHH!”

“Rarit–”

“Sweetie Belle! Oh, what happened to your mane!? It’s positively horrid! And your coat! How in Celestia’s name did you get so much—is that orange dye? Really darling, if you wanted to dye your coat, why orange of all things? It simply does not compliment your mane! Oh, deary me… how did this happen, darling!?” she shrieked, seeing the bird’s nest of a mane covered in twigs, leaves, dirt, oh so much dirt… It would take all her willpower not to faint at that particular moment.

Sweetie Belle scowled as her sister ran around and continued inspecting her. “Rarity.”

“Oh, forget how it happened! It simply doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you need a nice long soak in a tub—oh that dye is going to stain, I hope Princess Celestia doesn’t mind letting us make use of one of the castle’s… And thank goodness I packed five different kinds of Ponavie shampoo and conditioner. I'll be quite amazed if we don’t run out by the time we’re done! Oh… and brushing—brushi–”

“RARITY!” Sweetie Belle screamed as she jumped once in place.

Rarity blinked in surprise before clearing her throat. “Yes, Sweetie Belle?” she asked, before faltering at the look Sweetie Belle was giving her.

Sweetie Belle curled her lips inwards, and kept her eyebrows lowered as she started directly into her sister’s eyes.

“Is… is something the matter, Sweetie Belle?” Rarity asked, knitting her brows in worry.

“Yes! You!” Sweetie Belle yelled, pointing an accusing hoof at her.

Rarity reared back in shock. “Aa—I… what!? But, whatever do you mean, Sweetie Belle? What have I done to deserve such… such harshness from my own sister?”

“I have been out here, LOST. FOR. HOURS! And the first thing you care about is how I look!?” She shot Rarity a glare that kept her sister from answering. “If I were out here, lying on the ground”—she laid down—“unmoving, would you perform TLC to my unkempt mane”—she got up and ruffled her own mane—“instead of performing CPR!?” she shrieked as she compressed a small rock with two hooves, causing it to shatter.

Rarity looked horrified.

Sweetie Belle faced away from her and scoffed. “Hmph. Guess so…” she muttered, having the briefest and tiniest of smirks.

Rarity shook her head, finally snapping out of her shutdown state. “What? No!” Rarity rushed forward to the front of her. “Look at me, Sweetie Belle.” She brought Sweetie Belle’s chin up so she could face her; a look of concern predominately showing in her eyes whilst holding a sad smile. “I care about you deeply, Sweetie Belle. I do. I’m sorry, I—sometimes I tend to fret over the most minute of details that I often end up skimming over the bigger picture.” She shook her head and sighed. “You’re right, my first reaction should have been to check and ensure that you were okay.” Rarity reached around her sister with both hooves and pulled her into a tight hug. “Can you forgive this positively foolish sister of yours?” she mumbled, opening her eyes halfway.

…

“No,” Sweetie Belle whispered, easily pushing herself away from her stupefied sister, who lost all the strength in her legs to hold her up.

“You say you care about me, but is that really true?” Sweetie Belle accused, taking one step towards her sister.

Tears started forming in Rarity’s eyes.

“Why won’t you ever let me help you? Why do you keep putting me on the sidelines just to watch you work?” She took another step forward.

Rarity’s makeup smeared and her lips trembled as she remained unmoving on the ground. “I–”

“I’ll tell you why,” Sweetie Belle spit as she dropped down to Rarity’s face level. “You don’t care about me. I’m nothing more to you than an annoying little filly you wish you didn’t have to associate yourself with.” Sweetie Belle got up and trotted away from her, before stopping near a bend. She turned her head to give her a side glance. “You know, I had hope when I learned that you were chosen by some magical force to represent some fantastical Element. It was like something out of a fantasy book! I was so excited to think that maybe, just maybe my sister would treat me like… well… a sister.”

Rarity choked back a sob.

“Guess I was wrong. I should have known better than to think that my selfish sister could ever change just because she represented some stupid Element. Some Element of Generosity you are. And some sister you are... I’m going to find a new and better sister, one who actually cares about me, one who will treat me the way I deserve.” Sweetie Belle faced away. “Goodbye, Rarity,” she stated in the most bitter tone she could muster, before galloping away.

Rarity’s tears flowing freely. Her pain was unimaginable. Disowned by her own sister. Her words left an impact she didn’t know could ever be fixed. “N-no! SWEETIE BELLE! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME!” she wailed desperately. She got up, feeling sad, confused and angry. She ran after her, but the tears made it too blurry to distinguish where she was heading. She turned and turned and turned, frantically searching for her sister. Then, one sharp turn later, she promptly banged face-first into something, hard. She fell down to her rump and rubbed her snotty snout before opening her eyes. “S-sweetie Belle! Oh, thank goodness I found you!” she choked, hugging her. “Shh, shh, shh… It’s okay, no words need to be spoken,” Rarity said, placing a hoof on her sister’s granite surface. “Your sister is here… You’re my sister, FOREVER,” she said dramatically as she shook Sweetie Belle, who had mysteriously and suddenly weighed a ton more, had jagged edges, was gray and happened to share the name of a certain pink mare’s sister’s pet.

Rarity’s coat started to dull; her mannerisms in shambles. Her eyes twitched; her mouth curved into a lopsided smile. “We’ll… we’ll do whatever you want, yes! I’ll let you stitch and even let you handle those fabulous sapphires I had acquired from last week’s expedition with Spike—oh dear, I’m going to need to ensure I keep him away so you don’t go sneaking off and become his sister on me! Oh! And your friends… you… you don’t consider them sisters, do you, Sweetie Belle?” She gasped. Her eyes fluttered and she shook with rage. “I knew it! Those little traitors… I’ll—hehe, doesn’t matter. Simple doesn’t—IT MATTERS A LOT!” she screamed as she shook the boulder with more vigor this time.

“But that’s okay, it’s fine… I’ll just have to break that sisterly bond you have with them, because you’re MY sister and I can’t share you with anyone. Hope you understand, dear,” she said, giving it a manic grin, eyes still twitching.

“Now, what do you say we go home, hmm?” she turned around and started trotting, before noticing she wasn’t being followed. She quickly ran back. “Oh dear, are your legs tired? Don’t worry, Sweetie Belle. Your wonderful, generous and not-at-all selfish sister is here to help. I’ll just carry you back! Yes!” she declared, grunting as she craned her neck to place the giant boulder on her back. “My… Sweetie… Belle… you… sure are… heavy…” she struggled to say as she crept forward, lifting one painful hoof up at a time.

Twilight rounded the corner, eyes glued to the ground in thought. She was followed reluctantly by a bickering Pinkie Pie and a downcast Applejack. Twilight sighed. Not only had she been unsuccessful in her attempts to figure out what was wrong with Applejack, she now had to deal with a constantly on-edge pink mare that accused her of making fun of her every time she’d even so much as glance at her. She wondered if it were possible that the day could get any crazier.

“Oh, look! More ponies to make fun of Pinkie Pie, just great!” Pinkie remarked, pointing an accusing hoof at Rarity.

Twilight perked up at hearing Rarity’s name. “Rarity! Are we glad to see—Why are you carrying a humongous boulder?” she asked, craning her head in disbelief.

Rarity gasped and put her hooves around the boulder, as if trying to block its hearing. “Twilight! How could you say such an awful, awful thing to MY sister, Sweetie Belle!? So what if she’s… a little wealthy around the gut, it doesn’t matter! Also, before you ask… NO. She’s MY sister and you can’t have her!” she yelled, pressing her back against Boulder Belle while hyperventilating.

“That ain’t yer sister!” Applejack accused; lips puckered. “Nope, that’s uh, Apple Bloom! Yep. Apple Bloom. Ya know, mah sister who thinks of me as her big sister, doesn’t hate me and ain’t leaving the farm? That’s the one! Honest. Yep.” Her eyes flicked side to side.

Rarity gave her a venomous glare. “Lies and slander! How dare you accuse Sweetie Belle of being that… that ruffian of a sister of yours! You lay one hoof on her and you are so. Going. Down!” she hissed, getting into a fighting pose while standing on two hooves. She promptly lost balance and fell on her rump.

Twilight watched the exchange in confusion. She couldn’t for the life of her wrap her head around what was happening. While she was used to her friends acting strange from time-to-time, she being no exception, this took the cake. Usually it would be somewhat endearing, this was anything but. They were all acting in opposition of how they usually acted, and now two of them believed some stupid boulder was their sister!? Well, at least one of them did. She wasn’t sure what to make of Applejack since she’d all but confirmed she’s a liar now after she’d asked her the simple question of what her main harvest back home was and getting pear as a response. It took a mareculean effort to not go into a total meltdown after hearing that.

Twilight glanced at Pinkie Pie, who was laying on her back, forelegs holding her head.

Pinkie promptly sat up when she noticed she was being watched. “What? You thinking about making fun of me? Well, are you!?” she shrieked.

“Argh! NO! I was just going to say we need to get a move on! We’re still down two mares and we need to find the Elements!” She whipped her head over to the other two still arguing over Boulder Belle, or was it Boulder Bloom…? Okay, maybe she was starting to lose her mind too. She really needed to get them going.

“Come on girls, it’s time to go,” Twilight urged as she started trotting away, before pausing and noticing no one was following. “Oh, for the love of…”

Twilight trotted up behind the boulder, took a deep breath and strained herself to lift it. With shaky legs and labored breathing, she shuffled away slowly. When she got a good ten ponies’ length away from them, and was near the turn she wanted to head down next that happened to have a slope, she promptly leaned to the side, letting the boulder slide off. She walked around and grit her teeth as she put her back into the boulder. It budged forward just enough to cause it to start moving on its own. She turned towards the still arguing duo and called out to them, “Guys, look! I think your… sister? Sisters?” She rubbed her temple. “Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are trying to get a move on!”

Applejack and Rarity turned towards her in shock.

“S-sweetie Belle, w-wait for me!”

“Apple Bloom, hold up, sugarcube!”

They took off towards the boulder that was barreling at nauseating speeds, destroying any unfortunate stone columns and vases in its path. This should have been a clear indication that perhaps it wasn’t either of their sisters, but the thought didn’t so much as cross their minds given the destructive tendencies of the CMC.

Twilight sighed in relief and took off after them.

Pinkie Pie scoffed and reluctantly followed while muttering a few curses under her breath.

Sweetie Belle watched from a corner as they left. Her twisted smile twitched. She laughed. It was too rich! Discord, frankly, your genius scares me at times! Discord thought, wiping a tear as he changed back into his Draconequus form. He chuckled as he crossed out a trio of diamonds.

He looked to see who was next. Ah, the scaredy pony. He snorted. This was too easy; he’d practically tasted victory already. Oh, he couldn’t wait to see all their reactions when they finally caught up with one another! The chaos, it would be delicious! “Anywhos…” He snapped his claw and suddenly sported a pair of swim trunks while standing on a diving board. “I certainly hope, Buttercream doesn’t mind me diving in on her like this~” he sang as he started bouncing on the board.

One of the three other Discord’s coughed. “It’s Shutterfly, if you’re going to say the name you may as well get it right.” The other two nodded in agreement.

Discord rolled his eyes and dived into the tiny pool, causing a tidal wave to come out and drench the others. They held out signs: a pickle, an asterisk, and a frog doing a backflip.

Fluttershy peered from within a hedge. Seeing that the coast was clear, she jumped out. Her hooves shook in place and teeth chattered as she checked her surroundings once more. She took a breath. She appeared determined. “Okay, I can do this. I can–” she screamed in fright as a few tiny pink objects floated into her view. She dove back into the hedge and struggled to get back in. Once in, she realized she wasn’t in any danger, as the creatures who “chased” were those that were represented as her cutie mark. “Oh, wait a minute… Butterflies?” They flew off, heading around a bend. “Wait! Don’t leave me here!” she said, as she raced after them, worried she’d be left alone once more. She chased them down a few turns, before losing sight of them. She froze and started to panic, twisting her head in each direction in a desperate attempt to find them.

“Fluttershy…” came a voice from behind, startling her. She turned her head around to see the three butterflies hovering above her.

“Looks like you’ve been left behind by your so-called friends, huh?” they asked in sync, crossing their forelegs. They raised a questioning eyebrow while holding a smirk, knowing how easy this would be–

Fluttershy lowered her eyebrows and shook her head. “Oh, no,” she started, raising her head back and giving them a smile. “I’m certain they’re doing their best to find me.”

“Well,” they flew around her. “It must be so upsetting to know how weak and helpless they think you are.”

“Not at all,” she said, her smile going bigger and her eyes widening. “I am weak and helpless and I appreciate their understanding.”

What, Discord thought, starting to become irritated at how this wasn’t at all how he expected this interaction to go. They sputtered. “Yes… well, surely it burns you up… I mean, that they’re always pointing out your flaws, right?” they asked with their voice shifting away from its honey-sweet tone to something deeper and unbelieving for a moment as they faltered, unsure of how this conversation could derail any further.

Fluttershy just gave them a confused look. “Not really,” she stated with glee, lifting a hoof. “In fact, I think I’m awfully lucky to have friends who want me to be the best I can be.” Her face was completely at peace, as if she’d thought about this for a long time.

Something inside Discord snapped. The butterflies flashed away, revealing one very angry Draconequus.

Fluttershy froze in place, scared.

Do you know what gives me the courage to face my fears?

Fluttershy blinked as the recent conversation started to surface.

You do.

Discord floated in place and threw his arms out. “Oh, for goodness’ sake!”

Trust in your friends and you will find the courage to face any obstacle.

Her eyes widened.

Discord dropped down and reached a claw out–

“Hold on just a minute there, buster!” Fluttershy commanded, causing Discord to instantly retract his claw.

Fluttershy flew up to his face and prodded him in the chest. “You think you can just bully my friends all you want and get away with it?” she probed, giving him a wicked stare.

Discord’s mind went blank. He had no idea what was happening. This isn’t at all what he’d been expecting.

“Well, do you?” she accused, her scowl deepening.

Discord shrank back, keeping his appendages close to his chest. Do something you nitwit, the voice inside his head screamed.

“This is what you’re going to do. You are going to apologize to my friends. You are going to apologize to Princess Celestia—”

Discord raised his paw.

“—and Princess Luna.”

He lowered his paw.

“Then you’re going to return the Elements. If you’re a good boy and do all that, we could maybe have a tea party every Tuesday. Got it?” She poked him on the chest again.

Discord blinked a few times as the hamster wheel in his brain started moving once more. “Ohh, yes!” He kneeled before her and started bowing to her several times in a row. “Anything for the Princess of Kindness! Please, have mercy on this poor servient of yours!” He lifted back up and saw her giving him an eyebrow raise. That broke him. “Bwahahaha!” He fell back and clutched his sides. “Oh, you’re. Just. Hilarious! Ahaha!” He got up to wipe a tear. He thought this encounter would be a little bit dull compared to the others. Oh, how wrong he was!

“What’s so funny, mister!?” Fluttershy asked, frustrated. “If you don’t listen to me, I’ll give you… The Stare,” she proclaimed ominously in the most serious voice she could muster, narrowing her eyes to emphasize the last word. No one could withstand even a fraction of its power; Discord would surely be no match.

Discord snorted. “The w-what?” he choked back a laugh. “Oh, please! Anything but that!” He threw himself down before her, clutching her forelegs. “Your stare is known throughout the cosmos as being a force that nobody can oppose! If you use it on me, I… I don’t think I’ll make it!” he said in a mockingly scared tone. He let go and laughed again.

Fluttershy gave him the full-on stare assault, closing one eye and focusing her other one on him.

Discord choked, clutching his throat. “Uh—p-please… I… can’t…”

She continued the assault, completely serious.

Discord, seeing how much she was concentrating on using this supposed power of hers, lost his mind. “Ahahahaha! Y-you’re a riot, Fluttershy! Hahaha!” He waved his body around in hysterics, not unlike that of a wacky inflatable mare.

Fluttershy reeled back in shock. No one had ever resisted her stare before…

“Y-you know what? You gave me a pretty good laugh, I must admit! Bravo! For that, I think I’ll just let you be, for now.” He looked into a mirror as he adjusted his tie. “I have other matters that need my attention at the moment anyway, busy day and all that. I’m certain you understand, kind as you are or whatever,” he informed while waving her off. He combed his mane back, before snapping and pointing at himself. A briefcase appeared by his side, he reached to grab it. “It’s been fun. Let’s do this again sometime, Nutterby.” He started walking away, whistling a tune.

Fluttershy’s gaping maw closed to a fine line, before twisting into an ugly scowl that revealed her bottom row of teeth on both sides. Her eyes narrowed as her face grew red. “NO! YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT, MISTER!” she bellowed, flying like a jet straight up to his face.

Discord reared back and dropped his suitcase in shock.

“YOU WILL DO AS I SAY! YOU WILL APOLOGIZE TO MY FRIENDS! AND YOU WILL GIVE BACK THE ELEMENTS!” She tried using the stare once more, with even more force than ever. She grit her teeth as she became increasingly irate at seeing it have no effect.

Discord blinked in surprise as Fluttershy’s coat slowly started to dull on its own.

“No, scratch that…” Her voice quieted and became scratchy as her coat completely dulled out. An evil smirk appeared on her features. “I think it’d be more fun to hurt you instead…”

The tiniest bead of sweat appeared on Discord’s forehead. He summoned a kerchief to wipe it as he adjusted his tie. “…You know what? Now that I think about it… I think I liked the old Fluttershy just a teensy bit better, just my opinion. But, you do you. I really do have somewhere else to be, so… arrivederci!” he threw a smoke bomb on the ground and disappeared.

Fluttershy skidded to a halt on the ground where Discord once stood. She pounded her hooves on the dirt several times in frustration.

A hedge slid into the ground, revealing four other ponies.

“Fluttershy!” Twilight beamed, finally glad to come across someone who knew was bound to be her usual self. “I’m so glad to see a friendly face.” She glanced behind her, looking to the others. “This awful labyrinth is getting to everypony.”

Applejack and Rarity growled at her while playing tug-o-war with the boulder. Pinkie Pie just blew a raspberry at her.

Twilight sighed.

“Aw, boo-hoo-hoo! Why don’t you wave your magic little horn and make everything all right?” Fluttershy retorted, giving her a cold look.

Twilight’s heart sank. Not Fluttershy too… she thought. “Uh…”

“Oh, that’s right, you can’t. You don’t have one,” Fluttershy stated, flicking Twilight’s muzzle with her tail as she walked away from her.

Twilight let out a frustrated groan.

Rainbow Dash stuck her head out from around a corner. Coast is clear, she thought. She galloped to another corner–

“—that’s awesome!”

Rainbow Dash skidded to a halt and launched to the nearest cover. She put her back against a stone vase and flicked her ears in the direction of where the voice came from.

“Heh, yeah I know,” came another voice.

Rainbow Dash knitted her brows. The voices appeared to be coming from around the next bend on her right. She tip-hooved around the vase and hugged the hedge tight.

“With a wingspan like that, you must be a totally powerful flier!” came the first voice again.

Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened, recognizing whose voice it belonged to. She peered around and confirmed her suspicions. Squirt? What is she—Her inner thoughts died when she peered out further and noticed who she was with.

“What? You mean… these?” Gilda stood up on her hind legs and extended her wings, giving them a couple powerful flaps.

“Hey!” Rainbow Dash barked, blowing her cover. She glared at Gilda as she approached them.

“Well, well, well… If it ain’t Rainbow. Traitor. Crash. What do you call a traitor and a crasher? Trash. More fitting, don’t ya think, dweeb?” Gilda snarked, walking up to her with a strut.

“Traitor!?” Rainbow Dash butted heads with her. “I didn’t betray anyone! You hurt my friends! What’d you think I was going to do!? Give you a pat on the back you big stupid mean bird!?”

Gilda scoffed, leaning her head back and glancing at Scootaloo. “Ya gotta watch this one, kid. She’ll claim to be friends with ya one minute, then stab ya in the back the next, she’s two-faced and totally crazy,” she said while moving a claw in a circular motion around her head.

“What!?” Dash exclaimed and looked at Scootaloo. “Don’t listen to her, Squirt! Me and her are no longer friends because she’s not who I thought she was! I thought she was cool, and at one point, I think she really was. But she’s changed! Now, she’s just mean and will do whatever it takes to get what she wants, even if it means hurting my friends!” Rainbow Dash walked over to Scootaloo and stood beside her, still keeping her eye on Gilda. “Come on, Squirt. Let’s go,” she stated with determination, starting to trot off.

Scootaloo kicked a pebble. “I used to think you were awesome, Rainbow Dash… How could you just… stop being friends with her just like that?” she asked, keeping her gaze on the ground in front of her.

“What?” Rainbow Dash asked, taken aback. She spun on her.

“I mean, sure Gilda did some pretty awful things, that’s true. But you were friends with her for years, right? Don’t friends try to work things out?” She blew her mane out of her face. “I mean, I get in fights with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle all the time, but we’ve always been able to patch things up. I can’t imagine just… being friends one moment and not the next...”

“That’s different! Your friends don’t go around hurting others on purpose, do they?” Rainbow Dash scowled as Gilda blew a raspberry at her. “She gave me no choice. There was no way we could remain friends with the way she was acting towards everypony else.”

Scootaloo whirled on her. “You don’t get it!” she screamed.

Rainbow Dash took an involutory step back in shock.

“Yes, she was mean! I get that! Okay!? But she was one of your oldest friends! Instead of just… just throwing her out of your life, why didn’t you at least try to get her to see reason? Why didn’t you try to work through the issues?” Scootaloo rubbed her temple.

Rainbow Dash opened her mouth–

“Maybe, the reason WHY she was acting mean in the first place was because she was jealous!” Scootaloo pleaded.

Rainbow Dash shook her head in disbelief. “Jealous? Jealous of what?” she exclaimed, throwing a cautionary look at Gilda, who appeared to be more interested in the tips of her claws.

“Jealous of your friends! Jealous because she thought you were replacing her!” Scootaloo reasoned, waving a hoof.

That struck a chord. “N-no. If—why didn’t—she should’ve just—ugh! Gilda! Why didn’t you just tell me? I was never trying to replace you! Why weren’t you just honest with me instead of acting like a big jerk!?” Rainbow Dash sputtered, exasperated.

“Well, I guess she wasn’t wrong though, huh? You left her without a second thought, and now she has no friends. Some loyal friend you are…” Scootaloo walked and stood beside Gilda.

Rainbow Dash flinched.

Gilda turned to Rainbow Dash. “Because I thought you’d think I was lame, alright? There, you happy now?” she scoffed before looking down to the orange filly. “What’d ya say that we ditch this no winged, lame-o and take to the skies, kid?” She flapped her wings a couple times before sitting.

“Yeah… sounds good to me,” Scootaloo acknowledged, sounding bitter, giving Rainbow Dash one last sad look before hopping up and latching her hooves around Gilda’s neck.

“No, wait! She is wrong! I didn’t leave her just like that, I didn’t! It’s her fault! If she had just said she was sorry things could have been different, but she didn’t!” Rainbow Dash tried to reason, not understanding how this was happening.

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that,” Gilda said simply, before giving a few powerful flaps, lifting herself up.

Scootaloo turned her head away from her and held a smirk.

“Scoots, wait!” Rainbow Dash yelled, galloping towards them. She leapt, trying to tackle them out of the air, but it was too late.

They took off, leaving her behind.

Rainbow Dash spat the leaves out of her mouth and got back up immediately. She jumped, as if trying to get to them. She growled as she realized she was a sitting duck, with no way to go after them. She let out a frustrated growl before kicking a nearby chest and causing it to open. “Stupid, Gilda,” she muttered angrily, glancing at the object she hit. She froze.

Her eyes widened at the sight of a pair of cyan wings sitting inside the chest.

Twilight sighed. It had been a long day, but she knew it would soon be over. All they needed was Rainbow Dash and… well the Elements too, but one thing at a time.

She looked back to ensure her friends were still with her. Fluttershy ignored her, instead choosing to touch the boulder, much to the constant frustration of Applejack and Rarity, who had resolved to carry it at the same time, as they agreed that the boulder was, somehow, both their sisters. She facehooved, sliding it down as they stopped for the twentieth time to argue with Fluttershy, who kept laughing them off. Pinkie Pie just did a motion with her hoof around her neck and pointed at her.

A very long day.

She shook her head, disheartened. “At least Rainbow Dash won’t let us down,” she mumbled under her breath.

“Well, looky there. Rainbow Dash is flying away. She’s abandonin’ us. Unlike my sister, Apple Bloom, who Ah know would never do such a thing as cruel as that. Heh, yep…” Applejack said with a quickly faltering and pained smile.

Twilight just scoffed. Rainbow Dash? Flying off and abandoning her friends? Ha! “Now I know that’s a lie.” She looked up, humoring her. She felt her heart in her throat and became numb as she stared, dumbstruck. Sure enough, Rainbow Dash was flying off in some unknown direction, leaving them behind. “How can it be?” she asked, keeping her eyes glued to the fading rainbow contrail that was going further and further into the distance.

A loud bang resounded in the sky, knocking her from her thoughts. She jumped before looking up and seeing lightning flash through the sky. The ground shook, and the hedges started to disappear back into the ground in droves.

“Well, well, well. Somepony broke the ‘no wings; no magic’ rule,” Discord remarked, flapping out of the settling dust, revealing himself. He snapped his claw, returning the horns and wings to their rightful owners. “Game’s over, my little ponies,” he mockingly said, pointing a claw at them. “You didn’t find your precious Elements.” He got into Twilight’s face and gave her an evil grin, before snapping back. Discord looked to the sky in amusement, holding a pink umbrella out.

“Looks like we might be due for a big old storm of chaos,” he laughed as he unfurled his umbrella to be inside out. Lightning crackled throughout the sky.

Celestia trotted, her hooves echoing in the darkened hallway that held varying shades of blue décor. Light filtered through the maroon blinds, casting a long, disfigured and faded shadow of herself against the doorways she passed. Her mind was in a complete state of turmoil, betraying her practiced strides and her outward neutrality.

Her steps felt heavier and heavier as she neared her destination. Slitted yellow eyes stared inquisitively at her from above.

Slowing to a halt, she stood at the silver arched door and took a deep breath. She hesitated, staring at its handles and briefly wondering once more if there were any other options available.

The faceless fillies flashed in her mind’s eye for a moment, Discord laughing as he held them by strings and strew them about.

Her breath hitched. She shook her head; she didn’t have time for doubts. Steeling herself, she opened both sets of doors using her magic, the doors pushed forward with a creek. The poorly lit hallway did little to help her peer into the room. She lit her horn, casting a soft yellow glow.

She trotted to the crescent shaped moon bed and saw her sister soundlessly asleep. Luna’s eyes tightened at the sudden offending light. She mumbled something nonsensical before pulling the sheets over her head.

Celestia would have laughed at the sight, had the situation been different. She sighed. “Luna,” she whispered, pulling the sheet back to reveal her head.

Luna grumbled and turned her head face-down into her pillow.

“Luna,” she stated louder than before.

Luna folded the pillow on both sides of her head.

Celestia’s lip tightened. She didn’t want to do this, but… “I am sorry Luna, but it seems that your reform to bring back cheese wheels as a traditional engagement gift by royalty has been… turned down.”

“WHAT?” Princess Luna shot up, her eyes bloodshot. “HOW DARE THOSE INSOLENT FOALS TURN DOWN OUR AUTHORITY! WHAT HATH THEY GOT AGAINST SUCH DELECTABLE EATS!? WE WILL—Sister?” she asked, suddenly confused. She rubbed her eyes. “Ugh, what time is it?” She pulled the clock from her nightstand. She blinked blurrily, squinting, before groaning and falling back into her pillow. “Please tell Us this has nothing to do with that diplomatic trip to Griffonstone? We already apologized for spitting out their''—her face soured—“food so suddenly and violently. Even though it was terrible…” she muttered.

“No, Luna. I am afraid not,” Celestia said, using her magic to turn on the twisted lamps that were near the bed.

Luna’s ears perked; her brows knit. “Afraid not? Then it is–“

“Worse. Far worse,” Celestia said seriously, starting to pace the room.

Luna’s eyes widened at seeing her sister’s mannerisms. She’d rarely seen her sister get worked up like this, unless the situation was dire. Her sister waking her up should have been a red flag enough, but this was… “Sister?” she asked, getting out of bed suddenly, no longer feeling tired. “Sister,” Luna tried again, placing a hoof on her sister’s shoulder, giving Celestia pause. “What is it?” Luna asked, worried.

Celestia bit her lip.

“Discord has returned.”

Author's Note

It hurt my soul to do this chapter, especially for Applejack's and Rarity's parts... But it felt right to do given who Discord was at this point in the show. How could he possibly be redeemable after this you ask? Well, you'll just have to wait and see~

Oh, I skipped over Pinkie Pie's part because I felt Discord and her part would have gone pretty much the same as the show. Although you could argue Discord would have been a little more brutal in his approach after Pinkie declined his invitation to join him. I had one idea I could have gone with, but uh... it was a little too brutal. Let's just say it would have involved Pinkie being picked on by Discord in the disguise of her friends, laughing at her as she kept tripping and falling for their "pranks." Yeah... I didn't have the heart to do that.

Next chapter we're diving back into more CMC and Discord shenanigans!

Chapter 9: Groceries

“Stop it, Discord. You’re not playing fair,” Twilight said adamantly, ignoring her friends who were arguing behind her.

Discord gave her a look of mock shock whilst placing his paw upon his chest. “I’m not playing fair? Perhaps we haven’t met. I’m Discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony?” He got in her face. “Hello?~” he drawled in a sing-song voice. He quickly found himself back on his couch, finding a sudden interest in filing his claws.

“How are we supposed to find the Elements of Harmony when you took away the labyrinth before we could get to the end?” Twilight asked, exasperated and starting to find it very difficult to ignore the increase in volume behind her.

“That’s MY sister. Unhoof her this instant you ruffian!” screamed a voice.

Discord stretched out and gave a content sigh; his legs crossing over the edge of the couch. A bag of popcorn appeared by his side. He let out an ooo sound, as if surprised as he reached in to grab a handful of it.

Twilight’s eyes twitched, her frustration increasingly mounting at an exponential rate as not only did the fussing voices really irk her but now Discord didn’t even seem to notice or care for her being there anymore and had simply took in her question as if it had been rhetorical, that is if he heard it.

“It’s Applebloom, see!?” Applejack bellowed, her voice wavering as she placed the torn pink bow on the top of the boulder. It quickly tumbled off into the mud.

Twilight grit her teeth as Discord continued to peer around her at the scene unfolding, his face contorting as he found it more and more difficult to contain in his laughter.

In a flash of light Twilight reappeared in front of him, causing him to jerk back in surprise and to spill his bag of popcorn, the bouncing kernels finding their way into the crevasses of the couch. Discord let out a groan as his body deflated onto the couch, covering it from most angles.

“Look at what you made me do! It’ll take ages to get those out…” he tutted, re-inflating as if he were made of air before settling with crossed arms, leering down at the purple mare before him.

“Discord, you cheated! And not only that…” she turned back to her friends who were now pushing one another away from the boulder whenever one dared get close to it. “You clearly did something to my friends!” Turning back, she caught him mid-yawn, causing her to stomp a hoof. “What's the point of a game if only one party can win it!?” she screamed, her two rows of teeth rubbing together like a match about to ignite.

That got his attention.

Discord gave the front and back of his claws a look over. “Hmm, you know… I never once mentioned the elements being inside the labyrinth, funny enough,” he commented, smirking at the look of disbelief on Twilight’s face.

They were engulfed in a flash of blinding white light and found themselves standing back in the Canterlot Tower.

Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the Elements back where you began.

Discord’s grin widened as he took note of the realization that was plastered on Twilight’s face.

The white light took over them once more and they were right back where they had started.

Twilight’s mouth twitched as she tried to form words. She suddenly felt nauseous. “But, but—”

“Keep trying, Twilight Sparkle.” Discord walked away, giving her a shrug before turning back to face her. “Maybe the magic of friendship can help you,” he mocked, emphasizing friendship with a shake of his claw and paw near his head. He gave her a bored look as he prepared to snap his claw before stopping, wanting to get one last jab in.

“Oh, and just one more thing? You might want to deal with that sooner rather than later.” He motioned his paw with a swivel to the group behind her. Giant neon signs pointing to them from all angles; the two in question finding themselves at each other’s throats.

“Or don’t,” he shrugged. “Now, if you’ll excuse me; there’s plenty of chaos to be had. Have fun~!” He laughed with a wheeze, snapping his claw and disappearing.

A large group of pink clouds formed overhead. Chocolate rain poured rapidly, drenching them all within seconds.

Twilight gave her friends one good look and groaned as they continued to fight and trip over one another in the slippery mud and chocolate combo.

Discord stretched before collapsing into his throne with a content sigh. It was good to be back.

He had to admit that although everything was going just about as he had expected, it was too… easy? Perhaps… Predictable? Certainly seemed that way. At this rate there’d be no challenge left for him, especially if Twilight gave up soon, which he suspected she would.

It was funny, even if she did manage to find the elements—which she would—she wouldn’t be able to use them. Not without that hotheaded betrayer and certainly not while they all represented the opposites of their respective Elements. If she were smart, she’d skip town and leave whilst she had the chance. It would hurt his feelings—if he had any of course—as who would want to miss THIS!?

He snapped his claw.

More cotton candy clouds formed. Thunderstorms brewed delicious chocolate rain above, ready to be enjoyed by all from down below.

Nearby animals grew extra appendages that gave them flight, allowed them to burrow or allowed them to traverse at faster or slower speeds. Sometimes all at once!

Trees jutted from the ground all around; sporting varying bark, branch, leaf colors and shapes. Fruits morphed continuously, changing into something else in intervals, sometimes tasting how they looked and sometimes not.

He even generously turned the slow, boring ol’ dirt road into a fun slip and slide soapy sidewalk!

They should all be thanking him! But were they? Noooooo. They had to go scream and run away and be scared. Bah! They were all so dreadfully boring and predictable…

He blinked.

Well, most of them were… he thought, stroking his goatee. He squinted as he tried to remember how the certain Trio De Dangers looked but struggled. He squinted harder, gritting his teeth as he attempted to visualize them.

A flash occurred; his eyes widened in surprise.

What he was met with was an orange chicken, a narwhal with pink hair and a giant and quickly tumbling away destructive yellow apple.

A scream followed as a resident’s home suddenly found itself invaded by a surplus of apple sauce.

Discord tapped his indexes together. It was perhaps time to jog his memory. After all an apple a day would keep his memory from committing hearsay as they say, or however it went...

Hmm, an apple… Apple… Ponies tended to eat those, did they not? Food, was it? But, bleh. Apples were so boring… But what else did they tend to eat? Grass? Gross. Hay? Hay-about, no.

Discord reached the end of his rope, blanking out as he honestly had no idea what ponies ate, which suddenly intrigued him greatly.

“Oh, I believe it’s time to do a little… shopping,” Discord said with a grin before disappearing in a flash.

Peanut Crunch sighed as he moped the floor. It was the third time that day where somepony’s child dropped a jar of pickles. Third. It was only midafternoon too.

He grumbled as he put the mop aside to start sweeping underneath the shelves, as to collect any shards of glass.

A tap on his back startled him, causing him to bang his head on the way out. He winced both at the sudden sharp pain he felt as well as hearing the crash that occurred to his left. He groaned as he saw yet another mess to clean that was pickle related.

“Excuse me, do you know where they keep the stuff that multichromatic quadrupeds consume?” a charismatic voice inquired.

Peanut rubbed his head, stars still filling his view. He must have hit his head pretty hard, considering the odd question he thought was asked. “Multi—wha-HAA” he fell back after he turned to face his questioner. A strange creature made up of all sorts of animal parts held up a jar of pickles and was examining it thoroughly.

He rubbed his eyes and blinked. Nope, he didn’t see incorrectly. “Uhhhh–”

“Hmm?” Discord suddenly voiced, as if taking note of the pony in front of him for the first time. “You know, the”—he waved a claw around—“stuff that is eaten by your kind? That stuff?” He glanced around the store with a raised brow as he tapped a foot impatiently.

“Well?”

The worker still working out what he was looking at suddenly blinked, finally realizing the question he was asked. He slowly turned to the rows of food that lined the shelves to his side, behind and in front of him. He then craned his head beyond the strange fellow and saw bread stacked on top of each other. Yep, he was still in the grocery. “Uhhh… like pretty much everything we sell here is food, sir…”

Discord gave an exasperated groan and smacked his face. “Pretty much everything? Well, great!” He waved his arms out in a flourish. “How am I supposed to know what isn’t pretty much everything?” he sighed irritably. “Forget I even asked. I’ll figure it out on my own.” He waved him off.

Peanut just blinked, dazed by the encounter as he watched the strange creature float off with a shopping cart. “Mmm, I think I’m gonna go home early today and lay down…” He rubbed his head, picking up the mop once more to finish up. As he started on the new mess, a crash behind him startled him.

“Wha’ the” he muttered, confused and angry to see that yet another jar found its way to the ground.

He cursed under his breath and went to clean that mess. He came to a stop when he saw the pickles suddenly rolling away, his leg rearing back in shock.

The mop he was holding clanked to the floor as his mouth went agape.

He worked his mouth a couple times before nervously muttering, “O-kayyyy. Yep, definitely need to lay down…”

He yelped and hopped to the side as a few more jars fell near him; the green abominations moving on their own accord at a pace faster than the previous as if to catch up.

He slowly backed away and started heading the opposite direction of where they were heading.

Several more crashes occurred, most from behind him. He turned, gulping as he saw a sudden tidal wave of pickles heading his way.

Peanut’s eyes widened as he stumbled, falling onto the large group of moving pickles. “Uh—HELP!” he screamed, waving his forelegs about, helplessly being caught in the onslaught of determined pickles.

Discord turned the corner of the aisle and glanced about. Ponies who were near the aisle he came out stared at the green wave in shock, before galloping away and shrieking. Others, unaware and confused by the sudden commotion, turned to see Discord flying by. Those in the way below silently moved out of his way as he continued on. Some blinked, some whispered to one another but most didn’t seem to notice or care.

Discord continued, undeterred and not particularly focusing on where he was heading exactly. He kept an elbow on the handle of the cart; his head resting on his paw as his eyes glazed over the mountain of vegetables he passed. What an eye sore. So green and… uniform, without uniforms… Hmm…

He lazily snapped his claw.

The broccoli shook vigorously, before standing straight up. They suddenly sported yellow eyes and jagged mouths while wearing a beret, green and red epaulets, white kepis and blue sashes.

“La Révolution!” one shouted, holding a string bean high into the air.

“Eh, not my finest work but it’ll do I suppose,” Discord commented as he drummed the handle of his cart.

Nearby ponies reared back in fear and started running away; miniature green edible trees hot on their haunches.

Discord sighed as he switched to tapping his cart absentmindedly surveyed the quickly emptying aisles he went past.

“♪Hey, hey, you, you

I don’t like your marefriend~♪”

Discord snorted, squinting his eyes as his ears picked up the sudden assault of vocals. He cracked an amused smile despite himself. “Ponies these days and their music…” he chortled, giving his tail a flick, giving it an audible snap.

“♪No, way—Ave Discord~

Gratia plena~

Discord, gratia plena~♪”

Discord’s half-smirk morphed into a content smile as the heavenly and not familiar at all charismatic voice filled the once desolate airways. Much better… he thought as he stretched an arm out to his side, wrapping it around random assortments of chips, candy, cans and ingredients as he went by. He retracted and dumped it all into the cart.

He glanced over the handle of his cart, mildly curious of the contents he’d secured. Reaching down he chose one at random adjusted his square glasses he now sported. “Powered Puffs. Cheesy, delectable and good for the soul…” He raised an eyebrow. “Bold claims, Mr. Puff. I’ll be the judge of that.”

A zipper appeared on the bag. His fingers waggled back and forth before reaching out to grab the zipper. He made a swift downwards pulling motion… Or that is to say he tried.

It was stuck.

He clicked his tongue in frustration as he continued to fiddle with it. “Blaste—stupid… thing!” he seethed in frustration, his teeth clattering as he pulled with all his might, an arm falling off temporarily from the strain.

His ear shot up in surprise at the sudden scream to his right; his body recoiling simultaneously, causing him to drop the bag.

He muttered some expletives as he reached down and swiped the bag. He eyed it in annoyance and gave the retreating mare a quick glance as a tidal wave of laughing green gelatinous substance washed past him and pursued her.

Discord disappeared and reappeared in place in a flash. He waddled in place for a moment as he ensured his wader boots were on securely. Satisfied, he strapped himself into his fishing chair before reaching out and grabbing his tried-and-true Pony Snatcher 5000—patent pending of course—out of its holder.

He adjusted his shades as he kept his concentration squarely on the quickly disappearing pony. He pulled his fishing arm back. Back. Further back… So far back that it popped out of his shoulder but continued to float back regardless of physics until the tip of the pole reached the merchandising freezers stationed outside of the aisles. He adjusted his sunglasses as he tracked her, sticking out his tongue in concentration.

Steady… His arm shook from an invisible line of tension, a trickle of sweat beading down his brow.

Aim… His eyes narrowed.

Fire!

His arm retracted at blistering speeds, the cast line sweeping past the green sludge that pervaded the aisle.

The mare let out a breathless scream as she felt the simultaneously hard and soft sensation of a cold object latching onto the back of her head, its suction causing her to only be able to slide forward a few centimeters. She yelped in fear as she was suddenly yanked backwards, her scream being sporadically interrupted as she skidded in and out of the wave of sludge she’d just attempted to evade. Despite her stupor of being unable to process what was happening, let alone why, she lit up her horn in a desperate attempt to free herself of the suction cup that had found its way lodged onto her.

She started with a simple telekinesis spell to pry the offending object off of her but with each attempt her magic would simply fizzle out as it neared the tip of her horn, instead causing the green substance attached to it to grow and pop.

Running out of options she—

She found herself no longer moving and instead felt weightless as she was slowly spinning in place. She pried an eye open to see that she was no longer flailing through the sludge, remnants of it sliding down her coat and dripping below.

As she opened her other eye and continued her slow rotation, she found herself face-to-face with—

“Pardon me, I know you’re oh so busy and all—”

“AHHHHH—”

“Uh, uh, uh. None of that now~” Discord teased as he pinched the muzzle of the mare shut. He pulled her closer as if to size her up. “Utter another peep and I’ll have to reconsider my generous and most gracious act of saving you from…”

He squinted at the green substance below him before dipping his paw in and pulling back. Bringing it to his face he sniffed it, finding it to have no scent he shrugged before giving it a lick. “BLEUGH!” he spat, coughing. “That thing. Dear, Celestia… Ugh! Needs more spice…” he muttered as he wiped his face with a kerchief.

“P-p-please, l-let me go…” the mare whimpered.

“Yes, yes do me a quick favor and you’re free to go do… whatever it is your kind does. Be a dear and open this, if you would?” Discord asked mock-sweetly as he shoved the bag into her hooves. She fumbled with them, crinkling the bag as she desperately attempted to not drop it.

She stared at it for a moment as if it were completely alien to her, it clattering in her hooves.

Discord looked at his watch and coughed before letting the line loosen a little and causing the mare to let out a short scream.

“W-wait! I-I’ll open it…” she whimpered, biting her lip as she continued to fumble with the bag. First, she attempted to use her magic… but the goo was still there and prevented it. Then, she used her teeth, finding success as she ripped open a corner of the bag. “H-here, c-can I g-go now?” she asked as she held the bag out, a few cheesy treats falling out due to the shaking.

“Bingo!” Discord exclaimed as he knocked over the white pawn of his opponent, it leaving a tiny explosion as it tumbled over. The other Discord groaned as he slid his digits down his face.

The mare let out another scream as the line suddenly jolted once more, bringing her closer to the wave of sludge below, causing her to nearly lose her grip on the bag, a few more puffs falling out.

“Hmm? Oh!” Discord exclaimed as his other half and the board disappeared. He snatched the bag out of her hooves and examined it, scratching his head. “Huh, so that’s how you open it,” he shrugged.

The mare started to tear up, seeing that she was still being ignored and was still sliding ever closer to the doom below and let out a cry. “P-please, I just want to g-go home and s-see my son…” she begged.

“Yeah, sure whatever,” Discord waved her off as he turned his back from her. He snapped his claws, the wave below disappeared, as did his fishing equipment, causing her to fall with short scream and finally an ‘oomph.’

The mare quickly got her bearings and ran off in a hurry.

Discord pulled out a cheese puff and eyed it incredulously before popping it into his mouth. He chewed it slowly, his face puffing up with each bite he took as he took in the flavors.

He stared at the bag.

“Cheesy? Debatable. Delectable? Eh, mostly in-edible. Good for the soul? I suppose a win there if a burning sensation is considered good. Bah,” he called out as he crumpled up the bag and dropped it.

“How am I supposed to find food in a grocery store!?” he seethed in frustration. He gave the bag a good kick; it landed in a net and caused a loud siren to resound.

“GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!” cheered a crowd of Discords in the makeshift stands to the sides, taking residence in the surrounding aisle’s shelves.

“Oh, thank you! Thank you! Yay~” Discord mockingly cheered as he waved to his adoring fans, his grin short lived as he snapped his claw and made the rest of him disappear. He crossed his arms behind his back.

“Stupid… grocery store… back in my day…” he grumbled as he slunk forward, not watching where he was going.

“Why, if I had it my way I’d… Ack!” he cried, smacking face first into some offending object. “Watch…! It…?” he asked as he rubbed his face, his eyes lighting up in recognition.

He’d found the one edible food object he was well aware of, the one that he himself shared to the world, gracing them in all its glory: milk!

“And so many options!” His grin grew bigger and bigger as he scanned the refrigerators lined with the nectar of the Faust’s.

…Until he was not able to find the exact variety he was looking for: chocolate. Sold out. Gone. Nadda. Zilch.

“Grrrrrr—whatever.” He peeled himself off the glass and gesticulated with his hands as he continued, “It’s fine, it’s cool. I’ll jusssssssst have to do with what they’ve got I suppose…”

He grabbed a gallon and… his cart was gone. Wonderful. He looked at the jug and shrugged. “Eh, good enough,” he stated as he teleported.

“Dear, Celestia! What is that thing!?” a stallion cried out, pointing towards a group of cereal that had morphed together into one giant monstrosity.

It reached out, swiping jugs of milk out of abandoned carts and guzzled them down, milk and damp spherical bits of unknown sugary delights dripping to the floor below.

It knocked out a series of lights in its wake of milky destruction.

A single cashier cowered under the checkout aisle lane, sweat dripping down her face as she heard screams from all angles.

“Excuse me. Hellooooo~?” called a voice from above her, the register above her making several ching sounds.

With shaky hooves, she pulled herself up to meet—

“AHHHHHHHH!” she screamed at the sight of a face being inches from her own. She attempted to flee but found herself clunking into a glass wall, which she pawed at before realizing she was in a dome of sorts.

“Eck, what is with ponies and their greetings these days? A simple ‘Hi, how are you?’ would do, thank you very much!” he stated as he twirled his goatee.

“Anywho~ I have this item right here that is in need of being checked out.” He pointed to the floating jug of milk, which he blinked at before tapping it back down on the checkout lane.

“So, if you could do me the favor of scanning it or whatever you need to do and allow me to give you a payment in exchange so I can get out of your hair that would be wonderful.”

His eyes widened at the sudden CLUNK above him. He peered up to see the cereal monstrosity leering over him, licking its jagged cardboard lips as it spotted its prize.

“…And make that quick,” he stated with a gulp before turning to face the hyperventilating mare with her back plastered to glass as she stared up.

Discord let out a sigh. “Look, I’ve got places to go and things to do and I’m sure you probably do as well, if you could just scan the milk”—he shoved it into her hooves—“I’ll be gone in a flash and I’ll let you go. What do you say?” he asked as he tapped the register with claw and held his hip with his paw.

She gulped before nodding fervently, her eyes not leaving what hung above them. She shook, cringing with each bang the glass made as the cereal continued trying to pound its way in.

Beep.

“Y-your total is two bits…” she squeaked out, sweat dripping off her face as the glass started to show signs of cracking.

Discord pulled out his purse and reached inside, sticking his tongue out in the process. He blanched at finding nothing. He turned it upside down and gave it a good shake to no avail. “Oh, poo. It seems I’ve forgotten to bring the necessary funds with me… Oh well, I hope you accept checks?” he asked, pulling out one and a pen.

“It’s free! On the house! J-just take it and let me go!” the mare sputtered, hoping that this was all just a terrible nightmare.

Discord put his pen to paper and cursed as nothing came out. “This doesn’t usually happen…” he swore as shook the pen for good measure.

The glass above continued to crack, pieces now trickling down as the banging grew louder and louder with each consecutive hit.

The mare cried out in fright as a particularly large shard of glass crashed beside her. “I’ll pay for it myself! Anything!”

“Two… bits~” he mimicked as he wrote it down. He shifted his steadily sliding reading glasses back up to the bridge of nose.

The mare ducked back under the lane, keeping her legs tight to her chest as more shards of glass, as well as a mixture of cereal and milk found its way down.

“Oh shoot… What's the date today?” he asked as he patted himself before pulling out a calendar. Seeing that it was a thousand years outdated he let out an explicative as he tossed it aside before shrugging and writing down a close approximation based on his tallies he kept since his lawn ornamentization.

“P-please!” the mare called out desperately.

“Oh, just one more thing… who do I write this out too?”

“AHHHHHHHHHH,” she screamed once more as more shards of glass littered the floor near her.

“Oh! That makes so much more sense now. That’s your name! No wonder I’d been hearing that so often today,” he chuckled as he shook his head. “Silly me~. Now, how many a’s and h’s are in that?” he asked as he clicked his pen a few times.

Suddenly a giant cardboard hand snatched his milk, causing him to swerve his pen off-kilter. “Blasted, now I’ll have to start all over, great!” he said in annoyance, staring up at his quickly receding jug of milk.

He snapped his claw, causing the jumble of boxes to implode, their combined cereal and milky goodness raining from above. Discord put up an umbrella and held out a claw just in time to grab his milk.

With everything settled down around them, minus the complete chaos of everything else occurring in the store, Discord sighed contently.

“Well, I must be off. I’m sure those little rascals are getting hungry right about now… Probably. It’s been a pleasure, I’m sure. Ta-ta!” Discord waved and disappeared in a flash as the mare slowly found her legs again as she brought herself up.

She blinked as a strip of paper found its way onto her muzzle. She pulled it off and squinted at it. There were no words or numbers on it at all… In fact, it wasn’t even a check.

…It was just a doodle of a butt…

…It was time to go home. She abandoned her station post-haste and ran for her life, screaming along with everyone else that still lingered as they pushed their way out of the store, every food item you could name chasing after them.

Author's Note

It lives!

As promised in my last blog, I made sure to get this out before the end of the week. I gave it a few run overs so I hope there aren't any glaring issues grammatically but... yeah there probably are. I'll comb through it again later~

Originally I had planned to make this chapter much longer and it would have included the CMC... but it'd been so long since I last updated I figured I should just break it up instead. The next chapter I promise will include more CMC action! Or your money back, guaranteed.

Chapter 1: Summer Afternoon

Discord was almost done. Just one more piece and he’d finally be finished with his Celestia-in-a-bottle! He was in full concentration-mode, sticking his tongue out to the side, eyes narrowed. He was sweating profusely. His griffon claw shook slightly from nervousness and excitement as he carefully picked up the tail with a pair of tweezers and slowly inserted the tail into the bottle. His shaking caused him to hit the bottle a couple times, which caused a small clanking sound.

He pulled out, set the tweezers and tail aside, and took a deep breath trying to calm his nerves.

Come on, Discord, you’ve gotten this far, no room for failure now!

Having calmed slightly, he picked up the tweezers, clasped the tail, and slowly worked his way back into the bottle. Almost reaching his goal, his heart started thumping, and his eyes started shaking back and forth, one falling out of its socket. Keeping his occupied claw steady, he fumbled trying to catch the falling eye with his lion paw. The eye fell to the ground and rolled to a nearby mousehole. A tiny Discord quickly exited the hole, grabbed the eye, and promptly scampered back inside.

Discord sighed, reached down, opened a drawer, and pulled out a replacement eye. He popped it back in and went back to work.

Slowly but surely the tail was reaching its destination, merely centimeters away. Discord’s neck stretched to an unnatural length, with his eyes glued to the top of the bottle as he waited in anticipation for his goal to be complete. Now less than a centimeter away, he had to keep himself in check so as to not mess up this monumental moment!

“Almost there…”

He put the palm of his claw to steady the bottom of the bottle to ensure the perfect placement.

“Just a little more…”

A loud clanking noise on his bulkhead door brought him out of his concentration. It was followed by a muffled, “Captain Discord! Captain Discord!”

The miniature Celestia’s eyes snapped open. She took in her environment. She promptly shrieked and fired a beam at Discord’s claw.

“Ow!” He quickly retracted his now-ignited claw and dunked it into the chocolate fountain to his side. Looking back down at the mini-Celestia, he saw she was channeling a spell.

“Oh hoh! Little feisty, are we?” he asked as he went to snap his claw, which was now covered in a hardened chocolate. A small bead of sweat fell. He turned back to the small Celestia.

"Now, now, hold on, let's not do anything too hasty–" he said, before he quickly smashed his claw on the table. As he went for the snap, Celestia teleported, leaving behind a smoldering tail.

He groaned. "Great! There goes another one..."

He glanced at his mostly empty shelves of Celestias-in-a-bottle. Every year during his drawn-out life sentence as a lawn ornament, he would attempt to complete one. He'd only managed to finish nineteen. Of those, a mere two remained, as at some point seventeen of the completed ones managed to get away. This had always confused Discord, who wondered where in the wide world they could have gone. He shrugged.

Another loud banging sounded at the bulkhead door. Discord snapped his claw. The door turned into cotton candy and exploded outwards, knocking the knocker to the floor. Discord stood from his desk, made his way to the door, and looked down.

“Petty Officer Discord. This had better well be the most important news I’ve heard in a millennium, or you can say gouda-bye-a to joining another Friday night's macaroni craft session!”

The officer Discord quickly rose from the floor, snapped a salute, and said, “Sir! This is very important news, sir!”

“Well? Spit it out! Or are you trying to buy time to come up with an excuse?” Discord said as he summoned a clock for emphasis.

The clock stood at the edge of the door, looking from side to side. A miniature car pulled up beside it. A window rolled down, revealing a very not-familiar face, seeing as he had a very real and not-at-all-fake mustache, a large pink nose, and glassless glasses.

“Hey baby, just clocked out from work. Lookin’ for a good time?” the driver said while flaunting a giant wad of cash, all of which sported the face of a strikingly handsome and familiar chaotic fellow.

Discord snapped his claw, disappearing the objects.

“You ruined a perfectly good Celestia-in-a-bottle you know!”

“Take a look at this.” The petty officer handed him an envelope.

Discord promptly ate it, digesting the information. Discord scowled. “These were plans we’d made years ago! I already know about the chocolate rain and cotton candy clouds!”

“Oopsie! Not-so-organized chaos tends to make finding the right thing difficult at times… Here’s what I meant to give you.” The officer Discord reached into a wormhole and dug around. A conspicuously falsetto scream could be heard.

“Sorry!” the officer exclaimed, swiping his claw against the portal, changing its destination. “No. That’s not it. Uh-uh. Hmm, strange, not here either…”

Captain Discord tapped his goat hoof on the floor impatiently, looking down at his hand-drawn watch that was ticking away.

“Ah hah! Here it is!” He grabbed an envelope out of the pocket and handed it to the Captain. The portal wobbled uncontrollably and collapsed.

Captain Discord snapped his tail, and a tiny Discord on a lawn mower appeared on one end of the envelope. The tiny Discord turned the key. Nothing.

“Hmm, oh! Have to fill it with fuel. One moment.” He floated off the tractor, summoned some fuel and a funnel, and got to work.

Thirty seconds came and went. Captain Discord blinked at him as he waited and realized something. “You don’t need to fill it up that much if you’re only going t–”

A phone started ringing. The tiny Discord fumbled through his overalls.

“Hold on there, fellas, wifey’s callin’.” He picked up with his tail while he used one claw for filling the tank and kept one paw on the steering wheel of the tractor. “Hey hun, in the middle of somethin’ right n– What?”

The Captain started rubbing his eyes with one paw and then slid it down. The petty officer stood awkwardly off to the side, unsure of what to say or do as he nervously glanced between the Captain and the tiny Discord.

“That’s terrific news!” He took his claw off the gas can. It still hovered there pouring as he covered the speaker with his claw. “Lil’ Discord got accepted to Discord Uni!” he hissed out, hardly able to contain his excitement. The gas started to overflow.

“Good for him, now if you would ple–” His head jerked back as the tiny Discord extended out his claw to his face using one digit.

He retracted his claw. “Our baby is growin’ up so fast!” A single tear slid down his cheek. “Well, I tell you what, as soon as I’m done here we ca– Sorry, what was that?”

“Oh, for goodness’ sake!” Captain Discord snatched the phone out of his hand. “Congratulations and all that but nobody cares!” The phone exploded into a mist of confetti.

“Hey!” he yelled—a generous characterization, given his size, as it was more like a high-pitched murmur, but the Captain gave him points for trying. He crossed his arms and turned his head.

“I’m not finishing until I get a new one,” he said as he put on a pouty face.

“Fine! Here!” Discord snapped his claw, a giant sack of coins (from tiny Discord’s perspective) plummeted onto him, sending him, the lawn mower and envelope to the ground.

“Oof! Hey! No need to get testy…” The small Discord lifted himself out from under the coins. He struggled to pull the lawn mower out.

Discord rolled his eyes and snapped his claw. The tiny Discord appeared back on his lawn mower sitting on one side of the envelope. “Chop chop!”

The tiny Discord muttered some curses under his breath and opened the envelope before disappearing.

“You know that was all entirely unnecessary, and you could’ve had the envelope open much sooner?” the officer Discord said.

Discord raised an eyebrow at him.

“Do you even listen to yourself? Now where would the fun be in that!? Sometimes, it’s hard to believe that you’re me,” Discord sighed before taking the letter out of the envelope and looking at it. His eyes glazed over the words, not really registering what he was looking at. That is until he read it a second time. And a third. And a fourth.

“…Is this true?” Discord finally looked up at the officer, completely stunned.

“Come take a look for yourself, sir.” The petty officer sliced open a portal with his tail. They both stepped through it.

Several crewmembers were working tirelessly at their stations, turning knobs, typing in commands, talking on the radio, checking the radar. As soon as they stepped in, all the Discords rose and saluted.

“At-ease, Discords.”

A crewmember ran up to Discord, handing him a large chart. Discord looked at the chart and smiled wickedly.

“It’s happening sooner than I had imagined… Wonderful!” Discord threw the chart into the air, where it floated slowly, ignoring gravity.

“Now, to see it for myself.” Discord pulled down the Discord-shaped periscope by the horns and looked through it. He saw a group of foals standing near his statue. Three fillies seemed to be in a heated argument, but he wasn’t sure what they were saying.

“Sound? Helloooooo? Can I get some sound?”

A crewmember Discord sat at his station fast asleep, snoring, with a bag of a half-eaten cucumber sandwich resting on his lap. One of the nearby crewmembers reached into a portal, pie in paw, and promptly slapped the sleeping Discord in the face with it through the other portal. The now very much wide-awake Discord fumbled for a moment. He took in his surroundings. Seeing the Captain raise an eyebrow at him, he choked as if gasping for air and immediately turned the knobs at his station, whispering a series of apologies.

At first, all that came through was static, until finally he heard “... whAT ARE YOU, A DICTIONARY?”

Discord covered his ears and yelled, “TURN IT DOWN!”

The Radio Operator Discord panicked, but managed to turn down the volume.

With a ringing in his ears, the Captain reached in and grabbed an egg timer that was going off.

“Ah the pot pie is ready.” He turned to his left and pointed at a nearby crewmember. “Go get me that pie!” The crewmember snapped a quick salute before disappearing, then quickly reappeared with a sheepish grin.

Discord sighed.

“The kitchen is five floors down, seventh door to the right.”

The crewmember turned about to head out, then turned back again with a noticeable nervous look.

“Yes, that’s the same floor that The Smooze resides in. As long as the oven doesn’t beep more than eight times, they should still be asleep.”

The crewmember hesitated at first, but realizing the longer he waited, the more likely The Smooze would wake up, he promptly ran like his life depended on it.

Discord turned back to the periscope, looking through it once more.

“It’s not chaos, you dodo!” The white Unicorn filly exclaimed.

“Don’t call me things I don’t know the meaning of! And it is too chaos!”

Suddenly, the room went dark. Several red lights started flashing as sirens went off each time they flashed. A chart from one of the machines started printing, with the needle barely able to keep up, frantically scribbling down data as the chart flew out.

Two crewmembers raced to the chart, looked at it, turned to each other, then called out, “Captain! Chaos is at an all-time high! We haven’t seen it this high in ages!”

The lines were literally flying off the charts, bouncing off the walls. Several Discords ducked for cover, cowering at the onslaught of projectile lines.

Discord smiled, then chuckled.

“Oh, Celestia… How I can’t wait to see the look on your face when you see your precious student and her friends fail. Their, ugh”—his face contorted, swirling in every which direction as he tried to speak—“Friend…li-ship-ness, or whatever”—he waved his claw around—“will be no match for me.”

He snapped his claw, the projectile line stopped in midair, millimeters away from his face, before limply drifting to the floor in a heap.

He looked through the periscope once more and saw the little chaotic trio fighting each other. The blaring sirens grew louder, the lights started flashing faster, and the ship started to tremble. Crewmember Discords starting flailing about. One yelled, “EVERY DISCORD FOR HIMSELF!”

Panic ensued. Charts were knocked off, chairs tumbled over. Some cowered under their workstation; others ran out the room screaming; some prayed; one shrugged and continued to read the new issue of Chaos Weekly magazine.

“Ooh! Turning dirt roads into soap is ‘in’ this season! Love it! Got to remember that one…” He licked his paw and turned the page.

Captain Discord started cackling maniacally as the shaking grew stronger. A bright light started to seep through the ship.

Many of the crewmembers stopped panicking. They formed in a circle, held claws and paws, and started singing:

“Celestia! Celestia! Here we come, Celestia!
Equestria! Equestria! Will soon be ours!”

Discord’s laughter grew louder. The light started to become unbearably bright.

“I’m back, baby! Yeeeeees~! I’m– oh hey, wait, I never did get that pot pi–”

The light consumed everything, and for a moment, there was silence.

A few minutes earlier—five floors down, seven doors to the right—an out-of-breath crewmember Discord promptly shut off the buzzer to the oven, summoned some mitts, and grabbed the pot pie. Setting it down, he looked around. The Smooze was nowhere to be seen. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and collapsed to the ground. He was not cut out for this “physical movement” stuff. He blinked, facepalmed, then sighed, realizing he could have saved himself the effort by simply teleporting here.

Deciding to take a break, he headed over to the fridge to grab some chocolate milk. Opening the fridge, he blinked.

“Huh, someone really likes green jelly…”

A mouth slid into view on the jelly. Discord blinked again. The green jelly smiled deviously at him. The Discord couldn’t react fast enough to scream as The Smooze absorbed him.

Author's Note

Well, it finally happened. It's been ten years (ouch) since I've last posted a chapter to... well anything. I've had an idea for this story for a long time and I've always wanted to give it, and writing in general, a shot. So, I hope you're buckled in for this one, because it's going to be a bumpy ride in more ways than one. That's for sure!

Not sure exactly when the CMC are going to start playing their role in the story, but it should be in the next couple chapters. Stay tuned!

Next chapter is well underway! See you soon~

Chapter 2: All the Time in the World

Scootaloo face-planted into the table, letting out a muffled groan.

“Heya Scoots, ya gonna finish that?” Apple Bloom pointed at the partially nibbled pink-frosted sprinkled donut that sat in front of Scootaloo.

Scootaloo, still face down on the table, slid her plate.

“Thank ya kindly!”

Just as she was about to take a bite, she noticed Sweetie Belle giving her a look.

“What? Can’t just let this here donut go to waste if she doesn’ want it…”

Sweetie Belle motioned her head over to Scootaloo a couple times.

Apple Bloom, feeling a little guilty, dropped the donut and rubbed her leg.

“Soooo, Scoots… What’s got ya feelin’ down? It wasn’t our fight in the garden, was it? Ah’m sorry if it was…”

Scootaloo threw her head back. “Uhgggggg, no…”

“Then what’s wrong?” Sweetie Belle inquired.

“It’s just that… Rainbow Dash was going to show me this cool trick she’s been working on once we got back! She called it the, uh…” She scrunched her nose up. “‘Dunkinblaire Glaze?’ No… that’s not it. It’s called…” She looked up and tapped her chin.

Apple Bloom started to tap on the table.

“Scoots–”

“I got it! She called it the Buccaneer Blaze!” she said as she slammed both her hooves onto the table with a big grin.

Everyone at Donut Joe’s went silent.

“What’s that? Some lame new trick you came up with while on that lame two-wheeled two-by-four, blank flank?” asked a certain prissy pink pony filly. Some of the class erupted into a fit of giggles, others just sat awkwardly and continued nibbling on their tasty treats.

Scootaloo blushed.

“It’s not lame.” She slumped back into her stool. “And that’s not what I was talking about,” she mumbled.

Apple Bloom jumped down from her seat and moved to the front of the table. Sweetie quickly followed.

“Hey! Leave her alone, Diamond Tiara!” shouted Apple Bloom.

“Oh, puh-lease, blank flank number two… you’d better be careful with what you say, or Miss Cheerilee is going to extend that little assignment she gave you all. What was it about again?”

Diamond Tiara glanced over at Silver Spoon.

“I think it was something about discord or whatever,” Silver Spoon said as she sidled up to her.

“Oh, right! How’s that coming along by the way? Shouldn’t be that hard for you, considering how often you manage to get yourselves in trouble, not to mention how many times you all keep failing at–”

Silver Spoon prodded her. “Diamond,” she hissed out.

“What did I say about interrupting me, Silver Spoon? Ugh, what was I saying again? Ohh~ right! At this rate, you all are going to break some world record for Most Failed Attempts At Something. Maybe all your cutie marks will be matching broken recor–”

Silver Spoon jabbed her a few times in quick succession.

Diamond Tiara whirled on her and spoke through gritted teeth, “Silver. Spoon. What in Eques–”

Diamond noticed she was biting her lip, visibly sweating, eyes shifting between her and something behind them several times. She looked around.

“Oh.”

Cheerilee, back from the restroom, raised an eyebrow.

“M-m-miss Cheerilee! I was just saying how… how…” She bit her lip, eyes wide glancing between Cheerilee and Silver Spoon.

Silver Spoon started sputtering, realizing Diamond Tiara was relying on her to come up with an excuse. “How… brave they are for trying soooo hard at getting their cutie marks! We’re just soooo, uh… jealous that they are able to come up with soooo many cool and interesting ways to get them, ha ha.”

Diamond Tiara facehoofed.

Cheerilee shook her head and sighed. “Diamond Tiara, you’ve exemplified discord so well, that I’m going to have you write me an essay explaining it.”

“But–”

Cheerilee held a hoof out. She leaned in and whispered, “And if it’s written by your butler, I’ll know. Don’t think I can’t tell the difference, as much as you tried to hide it in your last essay. I was going to wait until after the trip to bring it up with you and your parents. I want that essay rewritten by you as well. Understood?”

Diamond Tiara kept her eyes glued to the floor and nodded slowly. Cheerilee leaned back.

“Good.” She looked at Silver Spoon. “And Silver Spoon? It's good to stand up for your friends, but not if it means you have to lie for them. I want you to write me an essay on dishonesty. Understood?”

Silver Spoon, ears drooped, glanced at her friend for a moment before saying, “Yes, Miss Cheerilee…”

Cheerilee nodded. “That’s all for now.” She looked over at a certain trio and gave them a small smile before turning around and heading back to her seat.

Apple Bloom gave Diamond Tiara a smug look, while Sweetie Belle stuck her tongue out.

Diamond’s face twitched, and she bit her lip, a noticeable vein appeared on her forehead before she returned to her seat. Silver Spoon quickly followed, turning her head around to silently mouth “losers” as she went.

“They’re just the worst,” Apple Bloom said, back in her stool with one hoof on her face.

“At least they got caught this time,” Sweetie Belle asserted; her head tilted while looking to her right. She frowned. “Scoots, you never did finish saying what was eating you up.”

Scootaloo had her head resting on her forelegs, she slowly blinked and looked up.

“Yeah...” she pushed herself up. “So, Rainbow Dash was going to show me this cool trick when we got back, right?”

They nodded.

“Well, now with that stupid essay, there won’t be time today!” Scootaloo crossed her forelegs and scowled.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle glanced at each other for a moment.

“Well, what’s the big deal? Why don’tcha just ask her to show ya tomorrow after school?”

Apple Bloom reached for the donut Scootaloo passed to her, Sweetie Belle swatted her hoof and shoved the plate back to Scootaloo. Scootaloo rolled her eyes and tossed the donut into her mouth.

“Be’us she’s go’na be”—Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom shielded their face from the onslaught of crumbs—“gone neth foo days.” She swallowed.

“Scoots, number one: gross. Number two: can you run that by us again with your mouth not full?” Sweetie Belle grabbed a napkin and wiped off the crumbs that stuck to her coat.

Scootaloo closed her eyes.

“She’s going to be gone for the next few days, starting tomorrow. Said something about needing to attend an annual meeting in Cloudsdale to get ori... uh, oriii…“

“Origami?”

“Uh, Sweetie Belle? Why would Rainbow Dash go to Cloudsdale for a few days to pick up fancy paper thingy-majiggies? Ah don’t think she’s into those…” Apple Bloom said as she fidgeted with her empty plate.

“Anyway! She’s going to some kind of meeting thing to get up-to-date info on weather stuff,” Scootaloo sighed.

“But only a few days? I mean, if it’s such a big deal, why not ask Miss Cheerilee to give you more time?” Sweetie Belle looked over to Cheerilee, who was currently chatting up with the restaurant owner. She looked back over to Scootaloo, who was restlessly moving in her stool as she was glancing all around. “Scootaloo?”

She stopped moving and gave her a sheepish grin.

“Umm, yeah… about that… I guess I should tell you guys about the night I snuck into the school… ”

~~*~~

Cheerilee hummed a tune as she went about her evening, grading her students’ papers. Her smile grew a little wider when she got to Apple Bloom’s, noticing considerable improvement in her mathematics compared to last week’s.

Hmm, still some trouble with long division, she thought. She marked the mistakes. It was an overall improvement, though! She gave a final grade and moved on to the next paper: Scootaloo’s.

Tink.

She was knocked out of her thoughts. She looked up, scanning the room. When nothing else happened, she shrugged. She looked back at the paper and pulled out a red marker.

Thunk.

“What in the world…” She stepped away from her desk.

Thunk.

It was coming from one of the windows near the back.

She held her head outside the door and flicked her ears in each direction. She heard crickets and the wind rustling some bushes, but nothing notable. She moved slowly to the other side of the building. When she got there, she paused.

A baby alligator on the ground blinked at her.

She blinked back. A cool breeze rustled the leaves of nearby trees. Chimes jingled.

A pause.

Not really making heads or tails of the situation, Cheerilee scratched her head.

“Does Pinkie know you’re here?”

Gummy did a slow blink in response.

Cheerilee clip-clopped in place for a moment. She sighed. Tonight was going to be a long night.

“Well, I suppose we’d better get you back home before Pinkie turns the whole town upside-down looking for you… again,” she muttered thinking back to that fateful night.

~~**~~

Cheerilee sighed, content and finally in bed. Tomorrow, she had the day off, and she was fully intent on doing absolutely nothing.

She curled, wrapping herself around the blanket, and let out another sigh. A small smile appeared on her face.

She reached over to her nightstand and switched off the light.

Thump.

Her ear flicked.

Thump.

Her eyes tightened. “Mmmm.” She rolled over on her stomach.

Thump thump thump THUMP.

Her eyes shot open and she flipped over. She fumbled for the light switch. The light came on.

She didn’t pull the switch.

“HAVE YOU SEEN GUMMY ANYWHERE!?” screamed a pink behemoth, inches away from her face. Her eyes were bloodshot and twitching, foam frothing from her mouth. She lifted the bed like it was an umbrella.

The bed promptly crashed to the floor.

Pinkie screamed

She screamed.

~~**~~

Cheerilee shuddered.

She snatched up Gummy and placed him on her back. “Hopefully, she hasn’t gone into full Pinkie-mode yet…”

Walking down the dirt path leading outside the school grounds, she heard a crash. It had come from the school.

She turned and raced back; Gummy unceremoniously flopped chin first into the ground. He blinked.

Before getting to the door, she stopped. What was she doing? What if there was a thief past the door? Her heart raced and eyes dilated. She started to hyperventilate.

Then she really thought about the situation for a moment, and her brows furrowed. The thought of a thief targeting a school raised a lot of questions, none of which had sensible answers.

She put her back against the wall near the door and slowly slid over. She heard the frantic rustling of papers. Biting her lip, she steeled herself for who, or what, she was about to encounter. She peeked.

Her eyes widened and jaw went slack. She stepped in. The rustling stopped.

“H-he-hey, Miss Cheerilee! Fancy meeting you here, I was just in the neighborhood and noticed that uh, your uh, door was wide open! I thought maybe I’d come by and say ‘Hey!’ But I noticed you weren’t in here, and the lights were on, and I was like, ‘Huh… strange!'”

Cheerilee moved past the culprit and looked around at the mess. She started picking up some stacks of papers and putting them on her desk.

“And I was just making sure that everything was in o-order! I said to myself, ‘Yep, seems like everything here looks good!’ So, I went—”

Cheerilee shuffled through the stacks of paper and paused. “Scootaloo.”

“—then I accidently tripped into the table and went like, ‘Woah!’ All the papers from all the drawers flew out! It was–” She stopped when she finally turned around. She gulped.

“Scootaloo.”

“Ye-yes, M-mi-miss Cheerilee?” Scootaloo’s eyes frantically shifted between the open door and her teacher.

Cheerilee picked up a paper with her mouth and held it out before her student. Scootaloo’s heart stopped. The paper drifted to the floor in front of her.

Cheerilee made her way back to her desk and sat in the chair. She tapped the desk a couple times.

“Scootaloo, I gave you an extra three days to finish that assignment. If you needed more time, why didn’t you just come talk to me?” She started sifting through the papers and tried to put them back into neat stacks. She paused, went around her desk, and grabbed the paper that had fallen before Scootaloo. “Instead, you tried to mislead me and plant your very late, but finished paper. Which, just from a glance, I can tell was rushed.”

She slid papers around before finding what she was looking for. She saw numbers in random orders scribbled underneath each question.

“I can see now the paper you gave me this morning was just to give me something so you’d have time to cook up”—she waved a hoof around—“this.”

Scootaloo was low to the ground, ears sagging, not looking at anything in particular.

Cheerilee shook her head. “I’m very disappointed in you, Scootaloo. Your aunts will know about this. I want you to write me an essay on dishonesty, to be done in two days.”

Scootaloo tried to sink further into the floor, hoping it would swallow her.

“I also want you to redo this essay, which will only receive 80% credit.”

Scootaloo’s face hit the floor in a thud. She groaned.

~~*~~

“…And yeah, that about sums it up.” Scootaloo rubbed the back of her head, looking everywhere but her friends.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle looked at each other.

“Well, that explains why ya couldn’t come crusadin’ with us for two days in a row,” Apple Bloom said, rubbing her chin.

Sweetie Belle furrowed her brows. “Mm-hmm.”

“Alright, my little ponies! It’s a quarter-past-three, and the train departs at four. It’s time to go.”

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom hopped down. Scootaloo sighed in relief. Students shuffled past them, heading out the door.

“Snips and Snails, please pick up the trash you left at the table. Oh!” Cheerilee staggered to the side. “Aura, there’s no rush. We’re not far from the station, please slow down.”

The crusading trio stepped outside and waited for Cheerilee to lead the charge. Apple Bloom spoke up when she noticed Scootaloo was lagging behind.

“Is there somethin’ else eating at ya?” Sweetie Belle elbowed her in the ribs. “Ow.”

Apple Bloom rubbed her side and noticed Sweetie was giving her another look. She bit her lip.

“If it’s personal, ya don’t hafta say, but know we’re here for ya if ya want to talk.”

“No, that’s okay. It’s just that… I wish we had more time for crusading, so we can get our cutie marks sooner…” Scootaloo mumbled out as she rubbed the back of her head.

“That’d be nice,” Sweetie Belle said while gazing at the sky. “I love my parents and all, but they can be a bit… clingy at times. Last week, I forgot to tell them I was heading out to see Rarity. I came back an hour later and found mom fainted on the couch and dad fanning her while biting his hooves.” She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Then I had to listen to some opera on the radio with them for four hours…” She shuddered.

“'Twould be nice to not hafta feed the pigs while danglin’ from a rope for once…” Apple Bloom sighed.

Her friends stared at her.

“What?” Scootaloo snorted. “You feed your pigs while on a rope? That sounds ridiculous!”

Sweetie Belle covered her mouth and giggled.

“The pig-feedin’-dangle-rope ain’t ridiculous! It’s tradition, an’ it works!” She pouted and stomped on the ground.

Scootaloo shrugged. “Eh, fine. If it works, it works, I guess.” She kicked a pebble.

“Point is, I just wish we had all the time in the world to just hang out. There’s more to crusading than just finding our special talent. I love hanging out with you guys…” She kicked the pebble again.

Unbeknownst to her, the two conspirators behind her gave each other wide grins as they impromptu hatched a devious scheme. Scootaloo stiffened as she felt two hooves wrap around her neck, quickly followed by two more around her midsection. Scootaloo, although embarrassed and not one for affection, only half-heartedly tried to pry herself away.

“Blegh. Alright, you can let me go now...” In response they tightened their grip around her. She sighed. The two offenders just giggled. She rolled her eyes.

"You guys are the wors–" Her head jerked back as a fast small object barreled past her face. It flapped in place for a moment before letting out a loud bark and whizzing off again.

They stood in place. Sweetie Belle’s head was tilted, her mouth forming an ‘o’. Apple Bloom just blinked. Scootaloo’s wings flapped a couple times as she thought hard to comprehend what just happened.

“Di-did that bird just… bark?”

“EEEEEEEAUGHHHHH!” Discord twisted his back in every which way. A sharp crack resounded.

“Oooh, much better,” he said as he scratched his lower back. Who knew being trapped in stone could make one so itchy?

He glanced around, noticing he was alone.

“Oh poo, no welcoming committee for little ol’ me?” he said as he cusped his palms together and placed them on his cheek. “Oh well, at least the view is peaceful.”

He put his claw and paw on his sides as he continued looking around. He heard some birds chirping, the rustling of the hedges, and the sound of moving water. He snorted. He could crack himself up sometimes! Him, enjoying a perfectly normal day? Perish the thought!

“Too peaceful. Bored now!”

He drifted off the statue slowly and stroked his goatee.

“How about a little of this?” He snapped his claw. The birds started barking. “Ehh, small start, but much better.”

“Now where did I put that list of things I need to do?” He ripped off a horn and started shaking it. Several Discord paraphernalia fell out: a “We’re #1!” foam finger, a Twilight cane, the Elements of Harmony (replicas), a Celestia doll with a tongue sticking out and a unibrow, a brown paper bag, and…

“Ah, here we go!” He snatched up the scroll as the rest of the stuff started sinking into the ground. He summoned a pair of glasses to read it.

“Item Number One: Get the Elements of Harmony.” He shrugged. “Simple enough I suppose.” He glanced back at the note. “P.S. I packed you a PB&J in case you get hungry.”

He stuck his tongue out as he shoved his claw into the bag before pulling out a zip locked bag.

“Wonderful! Just the way I like it.” His claw phased through the bag, and he grabbed the sandwich. He slurped off the crust. The rest of the sandwich sprouted wings and took flight. He used the replica Element of Kindness to wipe his face.

“Now, back to business.”

He snapped his claw and appeared in front of a large door with a sun symbol in the middle. He rolled his eyes. She always was full of herself.

“Oh no, a door! My one true weakness…” He summoned a fainting couch and collapsed on it, the back of his paw on his head.

“Woe is me! I should just surrender now. I’m not cut out for this kind of thing!”

He popped an eye open looking around and noticed he was alone. He raised an eyebrow. Not even geese to alert them of his presence?

Complete silence.

His couch popped from existence and he collapsed to the ground. He held his head with his paw as he thumped the ground with the digits of his claw.

Surely the door will at least pose some amount of difficulty, if Celestia is confident enough to leave the room unattended in the middle of the day?

He snapped his claw and a box appeared in front of him.

Surely this box doesn’t contain the real Elements of Harmony and could easily be opened, could it?

He snapped his claw again and it opened. All the Elements were accounted for. He blinked as the Elements fell to the floor in a clatter.

He cackled and shook his head.

“A thousand years, and this is the best you could do to protect the only artifacts in existence that can defeat me? Oh, Celestia… I almost feel bad, truly!”

Key word: almost.

“Well, no point in delaying the inevitable!”

He summoned the scroll and a pair of glasses once more.

“Item Number Two: Hide the Elements, and come up with a riddle as to where to find them.” He scratched his head, pausing for a moment. With nothing immediately popping into his head, he started floating around looking for inspiration, until he passed by a window and stopped. The maze.

He smiled a devilish smile.

Oh, Celestia… thank you for telling me all about your precious student and her friends during your brief visits. Now… Twilight, was it? Bit of a bookworm? Tends to take things too literally? Ohh, this is going to be fun!

His stomach growled.

“I suppose I should have a little bit more than just crust before I continue.”

He summoned a table, a fork, a knife, a menu, a lit candle, and a folded up linen napkin. He also summoned a vinyl player on a separate table. Soft classical music started playing in reverse.

“Sir, are you ready to order?” asked another Discord in a black-and-white uniform, a slicked-back mane, and a curly black mustache, a pen and an order pad in claw and paw, respectively.

Discord looked at the menu. He pointed at an item. “Hmm, I’ll take this one.”

The waiter leaned over.

“Excellent choice.” He wrote down on the pad, before disappearing.

As soon as he disappeared, he reappeared once more with a covered plate.

“Your lunch, sir.”

He lifted the dome from the plate, revealing a dusty old book. Wonderful.

“Can I get you anything else?” he asked.

“No, that’ll be all. Thank you.” Discord waved him off.

The waiter bowed, before swirling in on himself. He grew smaller and smaller, vanishing in a small flash of light.

Discord opened the book and immediately gagged. This was certainly not going to be easy to finish. He cut out a large square chunk out of the book and ate it one bite. It took considerable effort to get it down.

How in the world can they digest this stuff on a daily basis!? he thought. He patted his mouth with a napkin.

He floated the Elements into the book and closed it. He threw the book behind him. It went through a basketball hoop before unceremoniously falling into a trash bin.

As he stood up, everything he had summoned disappeared in a flash. He held his paw with his claw behind his back as he made his way over to a window.

Since no welcoming committee came to greet me...

He teleported outside and slithered up to the highest point of the castle. He wrapped himself around the flagpole at the top.

He yanked off his goat leg and used it as a spyglass, pointing it at a certain rustic town off in the distance.

… I’ll just need to bring them to me.

Author's Note

I know, I know... having a flashback in a flashback is iffy at best, but I couldn't help myself. Also, not really sure the best way to denote flashbacks and different scenes, yet. Going to work on that! I hope they weren't too jarring or confusing, if so let me know how I could go about correcting that. Also, dialogues punctuation is hard! Sheesh! That's going to take some time for me to get used to, if I ever do. Anyway, rambling! The meetup between the CMC and Discord is coming soon. Likely next chapter, but I've got plenty more planning I need to do to be sure. Hope you're enjoying so far! See you soon~.