Always an Adventureby Ginger poneChaptersA Wayward DreamThe StormStowawayEnter: Always an AdventureA Wayward DreamA pelican soared through the great blue sky. It's large wings outstretched, catching the lazy breeze that flew seaward, propelling the bird in a relaxed glide. It eyed the water, searching for signs of a meal. Instead of any fish, the white bird was met with a strange looking ship, catching the very same breeze in its oddly shaped maroon sails. Aboard the Dragonfly, Grif sat up high in the rigging, his neck craned up to the sky as he watched a pelican fly past. He smiled faintly at the sight of the bird before turning his attention back to the mast he clung to. There wasn't any need for him to be up there as of now, but Grif enjoyed clambering around the masts and rigging of the small ship, and relaxing up where no one could bother him. Not that there were many who could bother him out in the middle of the ocean. Nevertheless, he found the solitude calming. There was something on his mind, something he couldn't stop thinking about. Nilcoar's hat. What was it? What was under it? Why didn't Nilcoar let anyone touch it? Typically Grif wouldn't question the eccentric captain, a lesson he had learned in his upbringing around the odd stallion. Questioning Nilcoar often left the asker with more questions than they started with, and ultimately, led nowhere. That wasn't to discredit the captain, his methods still always seemed to work, even if extremely unconventional and roundabout. Still, recently, Grif came to the realization that even after being practically raised by Nilcoar, he had NEVER, not once, seen the captain without his flamboyant red hat. Grif was pretty sure he slept with it on. The captain was fiercely protective of his hat. He let no one touch it, and at most would lift it slightly to pull something out of it, though never removing it completely. That was the other thing about his hat. The things he was able to conjure from its depths... it had to be some kind of magic. Something allowed him to store nigh endless amounts of bananas in it, his spyglass, several maps, huge rolls of parchment, a hammer, a bowling ball, no, a coconut bowling ball, a rabbit, a fish, several snakes... the list went on- and that was only the stuff Grif had actually seen him pull out before. Who knew how much other stuff he kept in its cavernous depths. Grif had gone his whole life content to leave Nilcoar and his hat be. As with most strange habits Nilcoar had, there was usually some good reason for it, and if he didn't want to share, Grif was okay with that. Until now. What was his secret? Was he hiding something? Did the hat have some kind of intense sentimental value to him? Or was it something else? What else could it be? Grif's mind had been racing with these questions and attempting to conjure some kind of explanation for the past several days. He wasn't sure why his curiosity was suddenly piqued about Nilcoar's hat, but now he HAD to know the truth. Maybe he was just bored, perhaps he had too much time to think. In any case, Grif couldn't go on like this any longer. He trusted Nilcoar, and Nilcoar trusted him. Surely, Nilcoar would understand his curiosity... but Grif had to accept the fact that Nilcoar probably wouldn't reveal the truth to him, judging by how overprotective and snappy he could get about his hat. He didn't expect an answer, but he had to at least try to ask the Captain. Grif let out a long sigh and began working his way back down to the deck. Nilcoar stood at the helm, as he usually did. He wasn't needed, his first mate Vissnir could more than competently handle any necessary course corrections as they sailed on a set heading. However, Nilcoar always preferred to be at the wheel, feeling his ship hum with life beneath his hooves, detecting every slight movement caused by changes in the wind, the angle of the deck, the fill of the sails, the sound of the wake. He was attuned to every detail, and through his decades of experience, he was able to coax out every ounce of speed from his beloved ship. Grif approached the helm, looking up at the wiry stallion he called his captain. "Afternoon Grif!" The captain spoke before Grif got a chance to say anything. He kept his eyes trained on the water and glanced up at the sails often. "Good afternoon, captain, how's the water?" Grif asked "Hmmm...." Nilcoar thought for a moment "I'm not sure, I haven't gone swimming, let me find out for you." Nilcoar began shouting at nothing in particular. "HOW'S THE WATER OLD GIRL?" Grif could only guess he was calling out to the ship itself, after all, there were no girls on board. Nilcoar listened intently for a few seconds before turning to Grif. "She says it's nice and warm, a pleasant 36 degrees and gorgeously low turbidity, about 15 fathoms!" Grif watched Nilcoar quizzically "Wh- what does any of that mean?" "You'll understand when your older." Replied Nilcoar matter of fact. "How's the rigging today? You've been up there more often lately..." Nilcoar questioned. "Well- about that, while I was up there, I was thinking-" Nilcoar cut Grif off "Oh that's wonderful! Isn't it amazing!" "Huh?" "Thinking! Isn't it absolutely incredible!" "Yeah I... I guess it is pretty cool... look, I was thinking-" Nilcoar cut him off again "I know! Oh, you're growing up so fast, I didn't start thinking until I was twenty four! I've always seen potential in you Grif, in fact, I see a lot of myself in you" Nilcoar spoke with an unexpected and unusual sense of sincerity that filled Grif with pride. On the other hand, the fact that Nilcoar was comparing Grif to himself was mildly concerning, to say the least. "Nilcoar?" "Yes Grif?" "I have a question" "That's wonderful Grif, questions are what drive us forward as individuals and as a species, our inherent curiosity and insatiable need to understand the world around us is what makes us-" "Nilcoar." Grif interrupted him calmly "I'm going to ask you a question." "Well why didn't you just say so?" Nilcoar said, confused. Grif glanced down at his hooves, steeling himself to ask one of the few questions he was sure would aggravate Nilcoar... .... .- - Grif finally gained the confidence to speak "What's up with your hat? W-why are you always so... protective of it- I mean, don't answer if you don't want to..." Grif asked nervously. Nilcoar looked down solemnly. "No its alright. I think it's high time you knew the truth." Nilcoar reached up and slowly removed his hat, revealing a large bald spot on the peak of his head. The captain met Grif's eyes. Nilcoar's face was full of Anguish. "Do you still love me?" "That's it?" Grif spoke, surprised "That's it!? THAT'S IT!??" Nilcoar cried "I just expected something more... more important I guess." Grif said "Important? This IS important! I've been suffering for the past TWO DECADES of my life and there's NOTHING I can do to stop it!" Nilcoar said, his voice betraying obvious stress. "I've tried everything! Magic, toupes, magic toupes, illusions, surgery, acupuncture, homeopathy, this strange magnet device- you get the idea: I'M CURSED!!" Nilcoar broke down and started crying. .... .- - Grif finally gained the confidence to speak "What's up with your hat? W-why are you always so... protective of it- I mean, don't answer if you don't want to..." Grif asked nervously. Nilcoar looked to Grif confidently. "Oh well that's simple! It's where I keep my banana collection, and we can't have anyone tampering with that, you know Grif, I'm something of a father to you and the crew, and I'm not supposed to say I have favorites- but let's just say I expect great things from you, and one day, this hat will be yours! Along with the bananas. I wouldn't trust anyone else with them." Nilcoar smiled reassuringly at Grif. "And how does it work? Like how do you fit everything in it?" Grif asked. "Well that's simple, let me show you!" Nilcoar removed his hat, giving Grif his first ever view of the top of Nilcoar's head and- well- it looked decidedly normal, covered with the same messy off-white hair as the rest of his head. "Now look, I had this old crazy wizard friend who was able to put an enchantment on it to create a sort of extra dimensional pocket in space which allows me to fit everything in it, what's more, she also...." He went on, explaining the magical intricacies of his hat. .... .- - Grif finally gained the confidence to speak "What's up with your hat? W-why are you always so... protective of it- I mean, don't answer if you don't want to..." Grif asked nervously. Nilcoar looked down solemnly. "No its alright. I think it's high time you knew the truth." Nilcoar reached up and slowly removed his hat, Gingerly flipping it upside down, before reaching in and pulling out a small ceramic container. He set the container down, then removed the lid, revealing a fine, greyish looking powder. "Margarita." Nilcoar said quietly, as a silent tear rolled down his cheek. Grif looked on in curiosity and slight confusion. Then he realized. .... .- - Grif changed his mind. He'd been around Nilcoar long enough to know he would never voluntarily remove his hat. Grif decided to take matters into his own hooves. "Nilcoar?" Grif mumbled Nilcoar leaned closer to Grif "What was that?" Nilcoar asked Grif sprung into action, jumping up and snatching Nilcoar's hat from his head. "NOOO!" Nilcoar shouted Grif watched, frozen in horror as wrinkles began etching their way across Nilcoar's face, then to the rest of his body, as his skin sagged, and bits of fur fell away from his coat leaving behind discolored bald patches. His hair quickly greyed and began thinning. His musculature shrank. His spine compressed. His joints crackled. Impossibly, he continued to age at an incredible pace, with no signs of stopping anytime soon. Before long, his withered bones could no longer support his frame. His right foreleg was the first to go. The bone in his upper leg buckled and snapped, throwing Nilcoar to the deck. His futile attempt to slow his fall with his other front leg only caused it to snap as well, leaving the fractured bone sticking out at an odd angle and protruding from his skin. Unable to slow his descent, Nilcoar's head slammed into the floor, sending what remained of his teeth clattering across the deck. The impact left his jaw dislocated at a strange angle. Grif finally composed himself. What was he supposed to do!? What was happening? He did the first thing that came to mind, and slammed the hat back on top of Nilcoar's head. Grif heard a muted crunch when his hoof holding the hat made contact with Nilcoar's head. Blood and brain matter began pouring out from under the bright red hat. Nilcoar strained to look up at Grif as the life faded from his eyes. What had he done... .... .- - Grif changed his mind. He'd been around Nilcoar long enough to know he would never voluntarily remove his hat. Grif decided to take matters into his own hooves. "Nilcoar?" Grif mumbled Nilcoar leaned closer to Grif "What was that?" Nilcoar asked Grif sprung into action, jumping up and snatching Nilcoar's hat from his head. "NOOO!" Nilcoar shouted As soon as Nilcoar's hat was lifted off his head, a torrent of bananas began pouring from it. Within seconds, the upper deck was covered in a dense layer of bananas, with Grif and Nilcoar buried beneath the yellow horde. Both stallions desperately clawed their way out, but the bananas were faster. For every centimeter of progress they made, there was another four centimeters of bananas to contend with. "Grif! Listen to me!" Nilcoar shouted as he dug through the mass of tropical fruit. "Once the initial supply of bananas runs out, they'll start transmuting everything they touch into bananas, we've got to stop it!" Grif didn't have the time to fully comprehend the implications of Nilcoar's statement, but he knew it was bad, redoubling his efforts to escape the ever growing sea of bananas. Against all odds, the pair broke through to the surface. The ship had already been completely swamped by the fruits, and bananas began spilling out into the ocean. Across the pile, the rest of the crew could be seen struggling through the quagmire. Nilcoar looked up. The hat sat at the top of the pile. It was at least 10 meters high, and rising fast. "Grif! You've got to climb up there and stop that hat!" Grif nodded before frantically making his way up the pile, propelling himself upwards using what was left of the ship's rigging, poking out from the yellow mountain. Grif was a climber, it was his special talent- If anyone could do this it was him. He was getting that hat. He clambered up the pile, attempting to find footholds, and constantly failing, tripping his way up. When a rope or a spar stuck out from the mess, it was like an oasis of stability in the rapidly rising tower of bananas. He took full advantage of those footholds, using them to launch himself as far as possible before searching for the next one. He continued on, slipping, tripping, falling, but gaining ground at a glorious fitful pace. At long last, he arrived at the peak, eyeing his prize. The bright red hat stood out like a beacon among the endless yellow. Grif scrambled towards the hat, and lifted it up, only to find that there were no more bananas spilling from its depths. Instead Grif stood there in an eerie silence atop the mountain of fresh produce. He examined the hat, turning Nilcoar's words over in his head. If there were no more bananas coming out of the hat, that must mean the initial supply had run out, which meant that- oh no. Grif let out a scream as his body began disintegrating into bananas. His atoms rearranged themselves. Fusing, bonding, shaping themselves into the substance known as potassium. Within a second, what was once Grif's body had been reduced to an unstable pile of bananas, tumbling down the side of the larger mass, indistinguishable from the rest of their yellow counterparts. The rest of the crew met the same ugly fate. Followed shortly by the ship itself, and then: the ocean. Celestia called an emergency meeting with the princesses and the elements of harmony. Once all members were assembled, princess Luna was the first to speak "What is the meaning of this, sister?" Celestia responded, speaking to the whole group. "I've just received reports from a pegasus patrol over the Eastern sea. They claim to see a gigantic yellow mass in the ocean. It's already the size of Manehattan and expanding- fast. We don't know what it is, or where it came from, but whatever it may be, it doesn't seem interested in preserving marine life. I fear the worst if it makes landfall. We need to do something. And quickly." Twilight quickly responded. "Could it be the schmooze? I know he's green and not yellow, but perhaps it's a similar creature?" "I thought the schmooze was purple!" Chimed pinkie pie. "Its color is secondary- we need to consider what kind of threat it poses to Equestria, and the world at large." Celestia spoke up, preemptively preventing Twilight from going on a tangent, and Pinkie from, well, being Pinkie pie. "Our only way of knowing for sure what we're deali-" Celestia was cut off by the sound of the doors to the meeting room being thrown open. A battered and sweating Spitfire flew into the room, her hooves skidding across the floor as she tried to bring herself to a halt, only to slam into Applejack's chair, then promptly collapsing onto her side. "T-theyre all dead. The wonderbolts. None of them.... survived. It- it made landfall..." Spitfire closed her eyes. Applejack promptly got up and knelt down next to Spitfire, placing a hoof under her chin. "Come on sugarcube, you've got to tell us what we're fightin against here" Spitfire slowly opened one eye and looked up at Applejack, before weakly speaking but one word: "Bananas." It was only minutes until Baltimare was engulfed, next manehattan, then Canterlot. The yellow scourge raced across the countryside, decimating Ponyville, Appleoosa, Dodge Junction- It. Was. Unstoppable. Not even Equestria's finest could remotely put up a fight against the pestilence. Within a day, cloudsdale was the only remaining bastion of civilization on all of Eques. When the bananas ran out of easily transmutable solids, they began transmuting the atmosphere itself, sucking in life giving air and condensing it into solid yellow masses. By the next day, the refugees on cloudsdale had all suffocated as the atmosphere became thinner and thinner. Soon enough, the surface of bananas reached high enough to consume Cloudsdale itself. At long last, there was nothing left to consume. The bananas had won. Luna and her sister sat on the moon, gazing up at the yellow marble they once called home. A single tear trailed down Celestia's cheek. "Why couldn't it have been cake?" .... .- - Nilcoar Awoke with a start, rocketing upright from his rope hammock. He gently rubbed his temple as he regained his bearings. "What a... strange dream..." He gazed around his small captain's quarters bleary eyed, trying to recall exactly what the dream had been about. His hat! Nilcoar frantically swung his hoof up to his head to feel for the red skull ornament that never left his side. It was still there. Thank Celestia. That's what the dream had been about- it all came rushing back to him in a torrent of confusing emotions. "My, that really was a strange dream..." He remained still for a moment, deep in thought. "I... I wonder what would happen if I took off my hat..." He shook his head. "No. No, I can't." He shivered at the image of his body shriveling up like a prune, and was humbled by the thought of the world ending. The possibilities were too dire. The stakes too high. He could NOT remove his hat, and that was the end of it. Nilcoar reached up and adjusted his hat. He licked his lips before slowly laying back down and- almost immediately- began sawing more logs than Equestria's largest lumber mill. The StormA storm raged on in the middle of the ocean. A combination of wind, rain, ice and waves constantly beat down on the Dragonfly, the peculiar sailing ship of captain Nilcoar Scaggs. "Haul in! She can take it!" Shouted Nilcoar Nilcoar was at the helm, wrestling the wheel for control of the rudder. Simi and Hiri pulled desperately on the lines that trimmed the mainsail, Vissnir ran over to help them, using his immense size and strength to hold the mainsail fast. Holding the line tightly in his mouth he brought it over to a cleat where Hiri quickly tied it down. The three of them relaxed after the ordeal, breathing heavily. Grif was clambering around the top of the mainsail, checking the lines and connections while keeping an eye out for a place to beach or otherwise get out of the storm. He just watched as the rest of the crew hauled in the mainsail, putting immense stress on the spars and main mast. Grif didn't like the creaking that the mast was now making at all and decided he had better get down before it cracked and threw him into the ocean. Back on deck, Nilcoar was shouting at the crew. "Get up you buffoons, we're still in the middle of the worst storm I've seen in years! Get up, get up! I've never lost to the ocean, and I'm not losing to it now!" Nilcoar thought for a moment, there was one time he had gone crabbing and pulled up an octopus… he counted that as a loss. He shivered, remembering how slimy its tentacles were "Nevermind the part about never losing to the ocean, but still get your flanks to your stations!" Vissnir was the first one up, running up near the mast where the lines to raise and lower the sail were. Simi and Hiri soon followed and stood by the sail trimming lines once again. Grif had made it down the mast and dashed up to where Nilcoar was standing in the stern of the ship, slipping every so often along the way. "What is it Grif?" Nilcoar was still yelling in order to be heard over the storm. Grif took a moment to admire the fact that Nilcoar's hat somehow managed to stay on in the near 50 mile per hour winds. "I just think that we should really lower the sail a bit, it's creaking like crazy" Grif was worried. Unfazed, Nilcoar explained their situation to Grif "We're sailing through 10 to 15 meter waves here, we need all the speed we can get, or we could very well be capsized by one of these waves, and I don't plan on being tumbled around by Neptune today. Now get back up there and find us a way out of this mess!" Nilcoar shouted resolutely. Grif was still worried about the mast breaking and shifted uncomfortably in front of Nilcoar, unwilling to go back up. Nilcoar looked down at him. Morale was low, and he needed his crew at full capacity if they were going to get out of this storm in one piece. He decided to use a chant he hadn't pulled out in a while, something that was sure to give the crew an extra boost of motivation. Nilcoar smiled "Grif, how long have you been a sailor?" He Shouted. Grif looked up and started yelling "All me bloomin' life, sir! Me mother was a mermaid, and me father was King Neptune!" By now the rest of the crew joined in, chanting together, and Grif clambered back up the mast, yelling the whole way up "I was born on the crest of a wave and rocked in the cradle of the deep! Seaweed and barnacles are me clothes! Every tooth in me head's a marlinspike, the hair on me head is hemp! Every bone in my body is a spar! And when I spits, I spits tar! I's hard! I is, I am, I arrrrg!!!" The ship crested a wave, splashing water all over the deck and soaking the crew even more than they already were, but they were full of new resolve, determined to take on the storm and win. Just then, disaster struck. A heavy gust of wind pummeled the ship, and a loud ominous crack could be heard reverberating throughout the entire ship. It was a sound all sailors despised universally. The sound of a mast snapping. Within the blink of an eye, the cleats Hiri had tied the mainsail line to were ripped from their mounting on the deck, and flew across the ship. One of them slammed Simi in the head, knocking him out cold. The mast proceeded to fall forward at an angle. With a deafening crash, it smashed into the deck in a tangle of rope, canvas and wood. Grif was thrown into the freezing ocean. The ship lost almost all its headway, and was listing heavily to port under the lopsided weight of the mast. They were sitting ducks. -- Three long rings on the bell sounded to signify that someone fell overboard. Nilcoar began barking orders at his crew; they had to move fast or be left at the mercy of the building-sized waves. The first thing he had to do was get Grif back on board and clear the main mast off the ship so it didn't weigh them down. A 12 meter wave was closing in on the Dragonfly, threatening to capsize the crippled ship. "Vissnir, start lifting the mast off! Hiri, cut away and lines holding it onto the ship!" the twin drew a knife in his mouth and set about hacking at the ropes tangled in the mast while Vissnir slowly lifted it on his back and pushed it to sea. Nilcoar locked the wheel in the forward position, expertly tied a monkey's fist on the end of a spare line and threw the rope out towards Grif, who valiantly swam towards it. Grif successfully grabbed on. Nilcoar tied the rope down and let Grif climb his way up while he leaped back towards the wheel. The wave continued to get closer, growing in size as it barreled along. The Dragonfly was a Ketch ship, meaning it had two masts, one main mast, and one mizzenmast with a smaller sail. The secondary sail was their only hope now that the mainsail was out of the question. Nilcoar slid past the wheel and hauled in on the lines of the secondary sail to get as much speed out of it as possible. It creaked wildly. All he could do was hope it wouldn't crack. Vissnir and Hiri worked together to push what was left of the mainmast into the water, and the ship began to pick up speed, heading straight up the huge wave. Grif pulled himself up onto the deck, and the whole crew held on for dear life as they slowly went up the wave. It seemed almost as if the ship was pointing straight up. The crew was sure they were going to pitch backwards down the wall of water, but by some miracle, they barely managed to crest the wave and slide down the back, gaining speed again. The crew celebrated, Grif whooped, Vissnir stomped, Hiri cheered, and Nilcoar… Nilcoar wolfed down a banana. While he was still chewing, he yelled, his words muffled by the banana. "We're naw oud uh de woods yed!" The crew understood him. Mostly. Nilcoar swallowed, "All that did was buy us time, don't worry I have a plan!" The crew shuffled uneasily at the prospect of one of Nilcoar's far fetched plans. Or rather, they would have shuffled uneasily if it didn’t mean they would lose their footing on the wildly bucking ship. Nilcoar pointed towards the bow where there was still some wreckage left and commanded Grif “Fetch me a sturdy looking plank!" Grif nodded and dashed down to the wreckage. Meanwhile, Nilcoar kicked a false plank in the deck where they had a hidden Strongbox of valuables, causing it to flip up. He caught it midair and pulled a hammer with a few nails out of his hat just as Grif made it back to him with the other plank. Nilcoar nailed the planks in place to support the secondary mast. It needed to take a lot more stress than it was designed to withstand. If it broke, they’d have no other option and would likely all be… Nilcoar didn’t want to think about what would happen if the secondary mast broke too. While he nailed down the planks he called out to the crew “Grab something to paddle with, we’re going to need all the speed we can get!” Vissnir splashed a bucket of the freezing seawater into Simi’s face, waking him up with a jolt. “Wh- what the hell happened!” Vissnir silently pointed to Simis station. Simi obliged and rushed to his station, knowing full well now was not the time for questions. He shivered wildy. Nilcoar ordered Simi to haul in the secondary sail; they continued speeding towards the next mountain of ocean. As the wave bore down on them Nilcoar stared it down with determination. Just as they were about to make first contact with the wave, Judging speeds and distances with the experienced eye of a master navigator, he realized that they wouldn't have enough speed, even with everyone paddling like mad. A rapid succession of thoughts fired through his head in an attempt to find a solution. He couldn’t make it over the wave, leading to them capsizing, he couldn’t ride the wave because that would mean he needed to go faster than the wave, a feat impossible in a storm like this, also leading to a capsize. But what if he could? He briefly thought back to the surfer ponies he had seen at the beach many years ago. He couldn’t ride it with the wave directly at their stern… he remembered a surfer riding a particularly large wave at an angle as it crested along behind them. Maybe, if he got the right angle, he could get enough combined speed from the sail, their paddling and the wave itself, in order to outrun the crest by going alongside the wave rather than straight away from it. He didn’t have time to come up with any other ideas. The crew was observing their impending doom rush towards them in the form of a monster slab of amorphous water, when at the last second Nilcoar issued a command none of them expected: “Starboard tack!” Despite their surprise, the crew was well seasoned and jumped to their tasks, operating like a well oiled machine (at least as well as a well oiled machine drenched in freezing seawater can operate.) Nilcoar wrestled the wheel all the way to the right, making a sharp turn so that the ship was now sailing at an angle away from the wave rather than straight towards it. The crew readjusted the sail and lines as necessary to accommodate the new angle. The twins Simi and Hiri expertly trimmed the sail to get as much speed out of it as possible. The wave was gaining on them. The entire crew thought they were doomed for certain as the wave began to pick up the ship like it was a toy. The deck lurched wildly as the wall of water threatened to smash the port side of the ship. Nilcoar stood steadfast at the wheel with his eyes silted, partly from concentration, and partly from the rain slamming into his face. Grif took another moment to admire the fact that Nilcoar's hat was still on in the high speed wind… The crew paddled as if their lives depended on it, and chances were, they did. It felt like the ship would capsize at any second from the force of the wave, but as if by magic, the ship began sliding down the side of the wave at the same speed it was being lifted up. Nilcoar was right, and he had found the ideal angle for surfing. Unfortunately the crew was in too frantic of a situation to appreciate this incredible feat and instead continued rowing furiously. Simi and Hiri with oars, and Vissnir and grif with pieces of wrecked decking. Nilcoar didn’t dare glance behind him, but he could hear the thunderous noise of the wave cresting and curling over on itself behind the dragonfly. Thousands and thousands of litres of water with the ability to pulverise the ship into all of its individual component pieces and then some. If it wasn’t for the wide brim of his hat, Nilcoar would’ve noticed that part of the dragonfly was actually beneath the crest of the wave. Grif looked back in awe of the ceiling of water threatening to close around the back end of the ship and mercilessly destroy it. “Sweet Mother of Celestia…” His jaw dropped and he briefly stopped paddling until Vissnir nudged him. Grif shivered and began paddling with renewed vigor. The crest slowly closed in around the ship, shrinking in size by the second continuing to threaten to swallow the ship whole. Blessed with yet another miracle, they began inching away from the tube of destructive water. Nilcoar shouted at his crew “We’ve almost made it, this is the final push and I’ll be damned if we lose now! Row! Row! Row!” The crew redoubled their efforts to propel themselves away from certain death. The crest continued to wrap its deadly maw around the ship, but equally, the ship slipped away at an agonizingly slow pace. Just as the jaws of water were going to engulf the back of the ship, the secondary mast began creaking wildy as a gust of wind hit it. The planks Nilcoar had added held fast, and the gust gave them the extra bit of speed they needed to escape the wave. The crest pounded down on the sea behind them in a deafening display of nature's unbridled power. The wave was gone. The crew didn’t celebrate this time, instead opting to collapse on the deck in exhaustion. Grif had remained standing and called out to the crew “Land Ho!” Salvation. Grif used his hoof to point to an island a few hundred meters to their port side, which had previously been covered by the wave. The crew jumped to their feet with the last miniscule reserves of energy they had remaining. Nilcoar pulled four bananas out of his hat and rapidly threw them at the crew members who promptly wolfed them down. “I’m sorry, I lied last time, this is the final push, we’ll live to sail another day, we aren’t going down on my watch!” They dropped the paddles and returned to their usual stations, except now centered around the secondary mast rather than the main mast. They would have to sail straight into the wind in order to get to the island, but Nilcoar, an experienced sailor, knew a simple way around this. He continued on their starboard tack, with the wind coming from their port side, until the island was slightly behind them. Nilcoar shouted an order “Port Tack!” The crew was expecting it this time and smoothly, albeit tiredly, executed the tack. Now they were sailing directly toward the island and instead of the wind coming directly at them, it was now slightly to their starboard side. With the tack completed, the crew could be utilized elsewhere. “Now back to rowing! Double time! I’ll not get caught by another wave before we get to that there island!” The crew quickly reacquired their rowing implements and despite their exhausted state, began rapidly rowing towards the island. Their luck took a turn for the better, no more monster waves barred their path to the island. They had to crest several smaller ones, but nothing they couldn't handle. When they approached the island, Nilcoar didn’t order them to stop rowing, intending to fully beach the ship to keep it safe from the stormy waters. And then at once, their luck ran out. An agonizing grinding sound reverberated throughout the ship. They had just rammed a rock and torn a hole in the hull. Nilcaor had completely forgotten to look for the stony meat grinders that often hid beneath the surface before he sped full tilt towards the island. The ship immediately felt more sluggish and the crew cringed internally. Fortunately they weren't too far from the beach. The battered ship softly ran aground on the sand of the island. The crew had done this before and knew what to do without Nilcoar’s orders. Everyone jumped out of the ship and into the shallows. Grif ran forward with a beach anchor tied to the ship while the rest of the crew, including Nilcoar, pushed the ship onto the beach up above the waterline, which fortunately was not very far. Water rushed out from the gaping hole where they had struck the rock. The utterly spent ponies all collapsed where they stood, with their legs splayed out awkwardly. The rain pounded down on their exposed bodies. They didn’t care, they were too tired to seek shelter and they were already soaked anyway. Almost immediately, they all fell asleep including Nilcoar, who's supposed energy rich exterior had faded as soon as the ship had been safely hauled onto the shore. Vissnir woke a few minutes later and dutifully dragged his crewmates beneath a tree. He started a fire and pitched them a small tent from a spare sail. He lay down next to the fire, watching over his crewmates- nay, his family. They were safe. StowawayNilcoar paced up and down the deck of the Dragonfly, his peculiar junk rigged ship. His crew was lined up in front of him. The 4 ponies watched him with apprehension. Except Vissnir, that is, he stood quiet and unmoving, his eyes mostly covered by his hair. The other three crew members, Simi, his brother Hiri and Grif shifted nervously back and forth on their hooves, waiting for Nilcoar to tell them what was on his mind. The pacing continued, it reminded Vissnir of a drill sergeant marching up and down rows of soldiers, the difference being, this one wasn't screaming at him. Nilcoar's hooves clicked and clacked against the hardwood deck for several more excruciating minutes, as the lanky captain pondered... well... something. At last, Nilcoar spoke. "It would seem... that we have a stowaway." Grif spoke up "Why would you think that?" "Our stock has been getting nibbled away at" Nilcoar gestured below deck while looking at his crew through slitted eyes. "It wasn't me!" Simi and Hiri said in near perfect unison, a 'skill' they had perfected over years of making up alibis, except this time they actually had no idea what the captain was talking about. "I know it wasn't you" Nilcoar spat "You two are sick of bananas" He glared at them distastefully before shaking his head "It wasn't Vissnir, the bites are too small for his mouth, and I'd trust Grif with my life" Nilcoar smiled at him, he was practically Grif's father, and he had taught him well. Simi snorted. "You wouldn't trust us with your life?" "No." Nilcoar paused "Actually, yes." "Well which is it?" Simi asked "If you were the only ones who could save my life would I really have a choice?" Hiri looked a bit crestfallen at this statement, while Simi just smiled deviously. "Back to the matter at hand!" Nilcoar produced a pair of hot pink bunny slippers from under his hat, along with a crumpled up napkin that had some unintelligible looking scribbles on it. The crew knew better than to question whatever he was thinking and chose to let him explain himself. "According to my calculations, our culprit is a rabbit." He gestured at the napkin, which upon closer inspection was covered in completely illegible writing and a crude drawing of a coconut... or... was it a bowling ball? Simi decided to ask. "What's that drawing for?" "What do you think?" "I dunno, looks like a coconut" "Wrong!" So it was a bowling ball Simi confirmed in his head, at least until Nilcoar spoke again: "It's a coconut bowling ball" Nilcoar stated plainly. Hiri was completely lost as to why this drawing existed. "Wh-" Hiri opened his mouth to speak but was promptly cut off by Nilcoar. "I used my navigation calipers to measure the bite marks on the bananas and compared it to the bite marks on my coconut bowling ball, which a rabbit took a bite of after it had enough of being a rabbit bowling pin, then I cross referenced it to the averaged mouth size of a bun bun- err- rabbit." He smiled proudly, but this answer raised more questions than it answered. "Rabbit bowling pin?" Hiri muttered. "How did you think to cross reference with the average mouth size of a rabbit?" Simi asked. "A hunch" Was the answer he got. It was then that Hiri remembered about the rabbit slippers that had materialized out of Nilcoar's hat. "And why do we need those?" "Stop asking questions and observe." Frankly, Nilcoar's response to Hiri was a lucky one, given his poor track record when being asked questions. Nilcoar fit the slippers over his front hooves and walked below deck. The crew's nervous movements began again. A few minutes later, Nilcoar returned from the hold with a rabbit perched on his head. Simi and Hiri's jaws dropped, while Grif just looked a little surprised. Vissnir was still quiet and showed no reaction. Hiri was speechless. Again. "Wha..." Simi spoke for him "You let it touch your hat!?" Hiri regained his composure "And he gave him a banana!" He poined at the banana balancing on the back of the rabbit. The rabbit looked around at the crew, it's nose twitching slightly. "He gives everyone bananas" Grif countered. Simi simply shrugged in reply. Grif looked at Nilcoar, a curious look on his face. "Now what?" Nilcoar actually didn't know what to do now, he didn't expect to get this far, but we was a quick thinker, undaunted by this. "Now? Well- now we throw him overboard." He said frankly. The crew recoiled in shock. "Or..." he had their attention again. "We keep it as a pet" The crew seemed to consider this for a moment before Grif spoke "But what about the last time you tried to keep a pet?" Nilcoar's smile faded and a distant look covered his features. "Ahh... Gort, he was a good fellow..." "You ate him." Simi said matter-of-factly. "Well what would you have done with the body?" "I would have thrown it overboard!" "Which brings us back to my first option!" The crew shuffled their hooves, thinking. For the first time since this encounter began, Vissnir spoke up. "Why don’t we just drop it off next time we put in?" The rest of the crew thought about this and then looked to Nilcoar for a verdict. "That makes perfect sense!" He gave Vissnir a hearty pat on the back "Why didn't you just say something earlier?" Several days later... The Dragonfly skimmed lightly across the water, it's hold near empty from a successful shipping run and lightened by the weight of a rabbit. The wind was on it's beam, the ship's finest point of sailing. Grif approached Nilcoar at the tiller. "Nilcoar?" "Hmm?" He kept his eyes up, watching the waves. "You know when you went below deck to find the rabbit?" "Yes?" Nilcoar nodded. "What did you do while you were down there?" "I clicked my tongue and said 'Here bunny bunny bunny' " "That's it?" "Mmhmm" "Really?" "Yup" "Huh..." Grif thought for a second "So what were the bunny slippers for?" "I felt like putting them on." Grif thought for a moment, he had known Nilcoar most of his life, but there were certain things he would just have to accept he would never understand about him. Grif shook his head and walked back below deck. Once Grif was gone Nilcoar reached into his hat to grab a banana to snack on, but instead when he pulled his hoof out of his hat he found himself face to face with the rabbit. It stared back at him with mischievous eyes. He could swear it was smiling. "You sneaky bastard.” His face slowly spread into a grin. Several more days later... Hiri urgently burst into Nilcoar's quarters, slaming the door open with reckless abandon. Something must've been terribly wrong. "Captain Quick!! Come on come on! You've got to get out here!! And- come... fast..." Hiri's sense of urgency faltered when he realized what Nilcoar had been doing before he rushed into the room. Nilcoar was sitting bolt upright in his hammock, having been completely blindsided by Hiri's entrance, with an embarrassed look on his face. Hiri's gaze lowered to see a rabbit, no, THE rabbit, sitting on Nilcoars lap and very obliviously snuggling into him. "You have to... Wha... So you did end up keeping it as a pet??" Hiri finally managed to ask, his previous frantic urgency completely gone now. "I- well... You see, he managed to sneak back on board with us- and... Tenacity like that makes him a valued crew member to me!" Nilcoar attempted to justify himself, turning up his nose authoritatively... for some reason- Hiri wasn't sure what, the captain was usually completely shameless in all the crazy stuff he engaged in. In fact, now that he thought about it, Hiri wasn't sure he'd ever seen the captain look embarrassed... something about rabbits, they were his weakness. Hiri filed that useful information away in his brain for later, he couldn't wait to tell Simi- they would surely get a lot of amusement out of this one. "Sooo... what's her name?" Hiri asked awkwardly. "Boog" Nilcoar responded reluctantly. "Boog? Why? How did you come up with Boog of all names? Boog??" "It's simple really, she's our second pet. The first was Gort, so I thought, why not Gort 2, but I thought that would be too similar to Gort, so to add some flair I thought, why not Gort 2 electric boogaloo but then that was too long, so I shortened it to Boog." Hiri took a moment to digest that line of reasoning. "Uhmm. Okay then" Hiri said, unsure of how to respond. Nilcoar cleared his throat rather loudly and spoke again. "So what's this crazy emergency you're on about hmm?" It was Hiri's turn to look embarrassed. Nilcoar's err- Boog- had thrown a wrench in his plans. He looked down and suddenl;y found his left fetlock extremely captivating. "I- We... we're just going to prank you, it was nothing, actually. I'm sorry." Nilcoar perked up excidedly and quickly scrambled out of his hammock, gingerly placing Boog in his place. "A prank! Oh that sounds like so much fun, what were you boys planning this time?" Nilcoar said excitedly. Hiri had no clue how to handle this situation, and hesitated before Nilcoar spoke again. "Well don't keep me in suspense! Come on! there's no time to waste!" Nilcoar smiled wide and trotted past Hiri, out of his quarters. Hiri stood, stunned. "I don't think that's how it works..." Hiri tried countering half heatedly, watching Nilcoar happily trot outside where he was promptly drenched by a bucket of bright red dye. Hiri winced as the liquid made impact with Nilcoar's coat staining it a dirty brownish purple when mixed with his turquoise coat. Simi could be heard laughing hysterically from outside. "He really can't blame us for that one..." Enter: Always an AdventureA stiff wind blew across the great blue horizon. Small waves gently formed and traveled a few meters, before their tiny white caps dissolved, returning to the deep waters of the ocean. Skimming lightly along the surface, catching the wind at just the right angle, was a peculiar sailing ship. The hull was painted a banana yellow and the exposed wood on the deck and railings were stained a deep maroon red. The ship's two, junk rigged sails were a rather odd sight. Each sail was made up of several large rectangular sections, each in turn separated by a spar and ending off with a large boom at the bottom. Ropes were spread around, suspending the sails, and, in addition to providing structural support, allowed for full control of the vessel. Together, the ropes drew triangles all over the ship. Near the stern, the name Dragonfly was emblazoned, finishing off the unique look of the ship. The Dragonfly sped towards its home port after a long shipping run. Captain Nilcoar Scaggs stood at the helm of his beloved vessel. Its deck hummed beneath his hooves, and the wheel was alive in his hooves. He was a tall teal stallion with a short, creamy white mane and tail. The brisk ocean air rushed past his face causing the large white feather on his equally large and flamboyant red hat to flap in the wind. "I'm hungry for some tater tots!" He shouted to his crew. -- Loose Embargo sat at his desk, idly spinning a coin on the dark mahogany. The past few hours had been slow, heck the past few days had been slow. There had been virtually no traffic in or out of the port all day, and hardly any throughout the week. Being a Harbormaster could sure be boring sometimes. In addition to charging fees associated with docking and maintenance, his job was to check the cargo entering and leaving the port, keeping records, and ensuring no contraband was being transported under the table (or above it for that matter). Unfortunately, that meant that when there were no ships entering or leaving the port, he had virtually nothing to do. All his pending paperwork was already finished and his office was clean as could be. The light grey stallion sat there, wishing for something, anything, to break the monotony and quell his boredom. As if on cue, a rather unkempt and skinny looking guard opened the door to his office. "Sir there's a ship approaching" The mare stated, matter of fact. Loose Embargo jumped to his hooves and trotted to the door "finally," he thought. The guard was a young mare with a mostly white coat that had a few splotches of grey near her flank. Her hair was a silvery grey, as was her namesake: Silver Mint "Show me what we're working with Minty'' said Embargo with a sense of relief in his voice. The guard blushed slightly at the nickname before speaking as they walked out of the customs house and towards the pier. "She's a Ketch junk rig sir" Embargo stopped in his tracks and looked out to the ocean. "Sir?" Said the guard with concern There was only one vessel that could be. The Dragonfly. Embargo hated dealing with the Dragonfly, his encounters with the eccentric captain of the ship were interesting, he had to admit, but nearly every time, he found some sort of contraband hidden aboard the vessel beneath boxes of exotic fruit. Likewise, almost every time, the captain found some completely unexpected way out of the situation. Sometimes, Embargo just let them go to save himself the headache and more importantly, the paperwork. "You're kidding right?" Said Embargo, but deep down he knew that the mare was telling the truth. "No sir, I would never kid with you sir." "When can I stop telling you to please stop calling me sir. This isn't the military." "Sir yes- er- of course…uh" the mare tried to think of something else to call him, but Embargo spoke before she got the chance. "You're dismissed, go… go eat a donut or something okay?" Embargo hoped he could at least save her the headache of dealing with the Dragonfly. "Aye harbormaster" the guard opted to use Embargo's official title. "Go on, get out of here for a little while" The guard gave a lopsided salute before trotting off. Embargo watched the thin mare go and mumbled under his breath "That poor kid needs a sandwich" -- Back on board the Dragonfly, spurred by Nilcoar's comment on tater tots, the crew was now discussing the different foods they hoped to have in port with much gusto in anticipation of the deliciousness- at least, delicious compared to the rations they'd been eating for the past month. "Look, you guys keep bringing up tater tots, but hear me out, what you want is a good hash brown casserole" "No no no, you've got it all wrong, what they want is hashbrown pancakes, not casserole" "But with casserole you still get the goodness of the potato, and you also get tons of other yummy ingredients, anything you can think of really- carrots, tomatoes, ooh, and cheese, and also…" Hiri went on listing potential casserole ingredients as he bickered with his twin, Simi. Or was it Simi bickering with his twin Hiri? An outside viewer wouldn't be able to tell that Hiri was the one listing off ingredients as both twins looked nearly identical. Both had a light tan coat with a short brown mane and tail. They constantly bickered, assuming they had nothing better to do. That being either: A. Trimming the sails to get the most speed out of the ship, or B. Causing any amount of devious trouble. Despite their mischievous nature, the twins had an indescribable synergy that made them expert sail trimmers, an indispensable asset to the crew. Unfortunately, that same synergy carried over to causing trouble. "I stand by the tater tots idea, good casserole is something you can only get in a rare hole in the wall kind of pub, or if you cook it yourself, tater tots on the other hand, are hard for any restaurant to mess up. Plus, you can still put cheese on them" Said Grif, a lanky colt, the shortest of the crew. Although he was at an intersection of age where he could potentially be called a stallion, to the crew, he'd always be a colt. Vissnir grunted in agreement with Grif "If I can swallow it, it's probably good enough anyways" Vissnir stated matter of fact in his deep voice. His voice carried far despite how low he seemed to be speaking. His statement was somewhat ironic considering how good of a cook he was. Vissnir was a large- even huge- stallion with a reddish brown coat and a thick dark brown mane that hung down covering most of his eyes. All of a sudden, Nilcoar's face lit up as if struck by genius. "If prench fries are fried potato… what if we tried fried banana!" "I'm pretty sure that already exists, I've seen it at some ice cream place before" Simi called back to Nilcoar, who's face lit up even more at this news. "Please tell me more! I'll take the whole crew there and we can all try fried banana!" He cried triumphantly. "Uhhh… something… bees? I think? That's all I remember" Simi didn't sound confident in his answer and looked to Hiri for help, who only shrugged in response. "Something to do with skin..." Simi mused deep in thought. "That's it!" Hiri chimed in "Leather- err uh, Leathery Bees?" "Interesting… Leathery Bees… what a terrible name for an ice cream parlor" Nilcoar said in thought. He drew the sword strapped to his side and pointed it forward purposefully. "We shall go to this Leathery-bees and acquire fried bananas or so help me Gort!" He cried in a loud commanding tone. "You're uh… you're doing the thing again" Grif warned Nilcoar "Right, I got ahead of myself" he looked at his sword lovingly "You be good now Jerry, time to rest" he sheathed his sword. "Until we get said fried banana and potato of… various cooking methods, these should keep your hunger at bay" The entire crew knew exactly what was coming next. Nilcoar reached into his hat and retrieved several yellow bananas; more than could reasonably have fit inside his hat, and tossed one to each of the four crew members before biting into his own. -- "Prepare to dock!" Nilcoar called out, even though the small crew probably didn't need to be given the order in the first place. The stallions scuttled around the deck as the Dragonfly pulled into port. Simi and Hiri raised the sails, Vissnir lobbed wicker buoys over the side of the ship, and Grif prepared to toss lines across to the waiting deckhand on the dock. Loose Embargo stood on the dock ready to greet the captain, but Nilcoar beat him to it. "Hey, Loosey goosey, how are you?" Nilcoar called out to Embargo like they were old friends. Embargo sighed, preparing himself for the inevitable headache. "I'm fine, Nilcoar, will you show me your shipping receipts." Embargo said unenthused. The sentence was more of a command than a question. Nilcaor pranced forward with his akward sailors gait, jumping down onto the warped and sun beaten planks of the dock. "Aw come on, always all business. Have some fun every once in a while eh?" Nilcoar threw a hoof around Embargo's shoulders. The rest of the crew began unloading crates from the ship and onto a cart sitting at the end of the dock. "Please Nilcoar, I don't have time for this" He did actually, have more than enough time for this, but Nilcoar didn't know that. "There's always time for bananas my friend, you'll understand when you're older" Nilcoar waved his hoof in the air wistfully "I'm at least fifteen years older than you." Embargo said with an exasperated sigh. Nilcoar didn't seem to hear him. "Look, I brought back a new special banana just for you!" Nilcoar produced a short, blue banana from under his hat and held it out to Embargo. "They call it blue Java, or more self explanatory, ice cream bananas!" Embargo pushed the banana away. "Thanks Nilcoar, your banana collection is all well and good, but please, I have a job to do here." "Oh of course! Why didn't you just say so?" Nilcoar fished around under his hat and produced a stained cocktail napkin with a poorly drawn fish on it. "Oh, sorry, wrong piece of paper, here hold this" before Embargo could refuse, Nilcoar had placed the napkin in his hoof. Embargo sighed again and looked down at the napkin while Nilcoar continued to fish around under his hat. Beneath the fish drawing a single word was scribbled in a different color of ink: "Gort" Embargo didn't want to bother questioning it, he had learned all too well that questioning Nilcoar generally led to a worse headache. Finally Nilcoar produced a large scroll from his hat and snapped it so that it unrolled completely on the dock. Embargo stared dumbfounded at the parchment, the scroll had to be at least 10 feet long. He resisted the urge to ask how Nilcoar had even fit the scroll in his hat. Embargo had seen him pull strange things from his hat, but never anything this large… It was then that Embargo realized the scroll was completely blank. He followed the scroll with his eyes until he got to the top where Nilcoar was holding it up. There were two lines of text written in incredibly fine print on the scroll. "Here you are, the entire contents of the cargo hold, just for you" Embargo squinted to try and make out the text, reading it aloud. "Bananas… 60 ca- caboo-dles? What's a caboodle?" Embargo realized his mistake too late, he had questioned the captain. "A caboodle? Well that's simple! It's a part of the measuring system I devised myself, I really think it could catch on, the total number of caboodles is equal to ten percent of however many crates you have plus the weight of the combined shipment, then multiply that by ten, and subtract ten times the weight" Embargo was lost very quickly "how… how many crates is that?" Embargo asked. Nilcor looked up in thought, then dumped a few bananas out of his hat and began counting them, shuffling them around, then counting them again, presumably in order to calculate the number of crates 60 caboodles was equal to. Finally he looked up "That's 60 crates of bananas" Nilcoar answered proudly. Embargo placed a hoof on his temple. He already felt the headache coming on. He thought about what Nilcoar's formula was before slowly realizing that it did in fact lead to the same exact value you start with. He shook his head "whatever you say" Embargo droned before looking back at the parchment to read the second line. "pineapples… 15… oodles… Just tell me how many crates that is… please" Embargo sounded desperate. "Oh, for sure, 15 crates of pineapples, I just felt like writing oodles, there's no conversion for it" Nilcoar said happily. "Thank Celestia" muttered Embargo. He began walking to where the crates were being unloaded. "Alright you know the drill, I have to make sure what's on the receipt is what's in the hold, and yes I'm aware of your 'no questions asked policy' but again, I have different rules to follow, so yes, I have to inspect your crates even if you have never even opened them." Embargo tried to preemptively avoid any protest from the smuggler. "All I know is that I ship fruit, you know that." Nilcoar assured Embargo. Embargo took a deep breath and tried to relax. "Alright, open them up" Embargo gestured to a few of the crates. Simi and Hiri each had a crowbar in their mouth. They dutifully began prying up the wooden lids of the crates. Embargo waited patiently, thankful that Nilcoar's crew seemed to be more punctual than the captain himself. Once one was completely open he took a look inside. Sure enough it was filled to the brim with various states of unripe green and yellow bananas. Embargo began rummaging around the crate, checking for a false bottom. When he felt the bottom of the crate with his hoof he was satisfied and pleasantly surprised. His expression quickly changed from surprise to pain as he felt a sharp piercing pain in his leg. He let out a scream and promptly pulled his leg out of the crate with a bright orange and yellow snake attached to it. "MOTHER OF LUNA" Embargo yowled through the excruciating pain. Grif immediately ran over to try and pull the snake off of his leg. Several other snakes began slithering out of the wooden box. "So it was snakes this time," remarked Simi thoughtfully. Nilcoar jumped on the cart and frantically tried pushing the snakes back in, prodding them with a banana. "Time to go!" He exclaimed. Vissnir hitched himself to the cart and began muscling it forwards immediately. Nilcoar was still on the cart dancing around the snakes. Simi and Hiri ran over, setting their shoulders on the cart and pushing with all they had. Grif finally managed to wrestle the snake off of Embargo, who cradled his leg In pain. "I'm sorry Mr. Embargo, I hope your leg heals!" Grif called back as he ran to catch up with the rest of the crew. Embargo yelped when he realized the snake was priming itself to strike again. He limped away as fast as he could, shaking his hoof at the captain, who failed to notice him in the midst of his frantic dance with the snakes. "Later, Loosey Goosey!" Hiri Shouted back, using the Nilcoar’s nickname for the harbormaster. Embargo grumbled. "What in tartarus am I supposed to do with them…"
A Wayward DreamA pelican soared through the great blue sky. It's large wings outstretched, catching the lazy breeze that flew seaward, propelling the bird in a relaxed glide. It eyed the water, searching for signs of a meal. Instead of any fish, the white bird was met with a strange looking ship, catching the very same breeze in its oddly shaped maroon sails. Aboard the Dragonfly, Grif sat up high in the rigging, his neck craned up to the sky as he watched a pelican fly past. He smiled faintly at the sight of the bird before turning his attention back to the mast he clung to. There wasn't any need for him to be up there as of now, but Grif enjoyed clambering around the masts and rigging of the small ship, and relaxing up where no one could bother him. Not that there were many who could bother him out in the middle of the ocean. Nevertheless, he found the solitude calming. There was something on his mind, something he couldn't stop thinking about. Nilcoar's hat. What was it? What was under it? Why didn't Nilcoar let anyone touch it? Typically Grif wouldn't question the eccentric captain, a lesson he had learned in his upbringing around the odd stallion. Questioning Nilcoar often left the asker with more questions than they started with, and ultimately, led nowhere. That wasn't to discredit the captain, his methods still always seemed to work, even if extremely unconventional and roundabout. Still, recently, Grif came to the realization that even after being practically raised by Nilcoar, he had NEVER, not once, seen the captain without his flamboyant red hat. Grif was pretty sure he slept with it on. The captain was fiercely protective of his hat. He let no one touch it, and at most would lift it slightly to pull something out of it, though never removing it completely. That was the other thing about his hat. The things he was able to conjure from its depths... it had to be some kind of magic. Something allowed him to store nigh endless amounts of bananas in it, his spyglass, several maps, huge rolls of parchment, a hammer, a bowling ball, no, a coconut bowling ball, a rabbit, a fish, several snakes... the list went on- and that was only the stuff Grif had actually seen him pull out before. Who knew how much other stuff he kept in its cavernous depths. Grif had gone his whole life content to leave Nilcoar and his hat be. As with most strange habits Nilcoar had, there was usually some good reason for it, and if he didn't want to share, Grif was okay with that. Until now. What was his secret? Was he hiding something? Did the hat have some kind of intense sentimental value to him? Or was it something else? What else could it be? Grif's mind had been racing with these questions and attempting to conjure some kind of explanation for the past several days. He wasn't sure why his curiosity was suddenly piqued about Nilcoar's hat, but now he HAD to know the truth. Maybe he was just bored, perhaps he had too much time to think. In any case, Grif couldn't go on like this any longer. He trusted Nilcoar, and Nilcoar trusted him. Surely, Nilcoar would understand his curiosity... but Grif had to accept the fact that Nilcoar probably wouldn't reveal the truth to him, judging by how overprotective and snappy he could get about his hat. He didn't expect an answer, but he had to at least try to ask the Captain. Grif let out a long sigh and began working his way back down to the deck. Nilcoar stood at the helm, as he usually did. He wasn't needed, his first mate Vissnir could more than competently handle any necessary course corrections as they sailed on a set heading. However, Nilcoar always preferred to be at the wheel, feeling his ship hum with life beneath his hooves, detecting every slight movement caused by changes in the wind, the angle of the deck, the fill of the sails, the sound of the wake. He was attuned to every detail, and through his decades of experience, he was able to coax out every ounce of speed from his beloved ship. Grif approached the helm, looking up at the wiry stallion he called his captain. "Afternoon Grif!" The captain spoke before Grif got a chance to say anything. He kept his eyes trained on the water and glanced up at the sails often. "Good afternoon, captain, how's the water?" Grif asked "Hmmm...." Nilcoar thought for a moment "I'm not sure, I haven't gone swimming, let me find out for you." Nilcoar began shouting at nothing in particular. "HOW'S THE WATER OLD GIRL?" Grif could only guess he was calling out to the ship itself, after all, there were no girls on board. Nilcoar listened intently for a few seconds before turning to Grif. "She says it's nice and warm, a pleasant 36 degrees and gorgeously low turbidity, about 15 fathoms!" Grif watched Nilcoar quizzically "Wh- what does any of that mean?" "You'll understand when your older." Replied Nilcoar matter of fact. "How's the rigging today? You've been up there more often lately..." Nilcoar questioned. "Well- about that, while I was up there, I was thinking-" Nilcoar cut Grif off "Oh that's wonderful! Isn't it amazing!" "Huh?" "Thinking! Isn't it absolutely incredible!" "Yeah I... I guess it is pretty cool... look, I was thinking-" Nilcoar cut him off again "I know! Oh, you're growing up so fast, I didn't start thinking until I was twenty four! I've always seen potential in you Grif, in fact, I see a lot of myself in you" Nilcoar spoke with an unexpected and unusual sense of sincerity that filled Grif with pride. On the other hand, the fact that Nilcoar was comparing Grif to himself was mildly concerning, to say the least. "Nilcoar?" "Yes Grif?" "I have a question" "That's wonderful Grif, questions are what drive us forward as individuals and as a species, our inherent curiosity and insatiable need to understand the world around us is what makes us-" "Nilcoar." Grif interrupted him calmly "I'm going to ask you a question." "Well why didn't you just say so?" Nilcoar said, confused. Grif glanced down at his hooves, steeling himself to ask one of the few questions he was sure would aggravate Nilcoar... .... .- - Grif finally gained the confidence to speak "What's up with your hat? W-why are you always so... protective of it- I mean, don't answer if you don't want to..." Grif asked nervously. Nilcoar looked down solemnly. "No its alright. I think it's high time you knew the truth." Nilcoar reached up and slowly removed his hat, revealing a large bald spot on the peak of his head. The captain met Grif's eyes. Nilcoar's face was full of Anguish. "Do you still love me?" "That's it?" Grif spoke, surprised "That's it!? THAT'S IT!??" Nilcoar cried "I just expected something more... more important I guess." Grif said "Important? This IS important! I've been suffering for the past TWO DECADES of my life and there's NOTHING I can do to stop it!" Nilcoar said, his voice betraying obvious stress. "I've tried everything! Magic, toupes, magic toupes, illusions, surgery, acupuncture, homeopathy, this strange magnet device- you get the idea: I'M CURSED!!" Nilcoar broke down and started crying. .... .- - Grif finally gained the confidence to speak "What's up with your hat? W-why are you always so... protective of it- I mean, don't answer if you don't want to..." Grif asked nervously. Nilcoar looked to Grif confidently. "Oh well that's simple! It's where I keep my banana collection, and we can't have anyone tampering with that, you know Grif, I'm something of a father to you and the crew, and I'm not supposed to say I have favorites- but let's just say I expect great things from you, and one day, this hat will be yours! Along with the bananas. I wouldn't trust anyone else with them." Nilcoar smiled reassuringly at Grif. "And how does it work? Like how do you fit everything in it?" Grif asked. "Well that's simple, let me show you!" Nilcoar removed his hat, giving Grif his first ever view of the top of Nilcoar's head and- well- it looked decidedly normal, covered with the same messy off-white hair as the rest of his head. "Now look, I had this old crazy wizard friend who was able to put an enchantment on it to create a sort of extra dimensional pocket in space which allows me to fit everything in it, what's more, she also...." He went on, explaining the magical intricacies of his hat. .... .- - Grif finally gained the confidence to speak "What's up with your hat? W-why are you always so... protective of it- I mean, don't answer if you don't want to..." Grif asked nervously. Nilcoar looked down solemnly. "No its alright. I think it's high time you knew the truth." Nilcoar reached up and slowly removed his hat, Gingerly flipping it upside down, before reaching in and pulling out a small ceramic container. He set the container down, then removed the lid, revealing a fine, greyish looking powder. "Margarita." Nilcoar said quietly, as a silent tear rolled down his cheek. Grif looked on in curiosity and slight confusion. Then he realized. .... .- - Grif changed his mind. He'd been around Nilcoar long enough to know he would never voluntarily remove his hat. Grif decided to take matters into his own hooves. "Nilcoar?" Grif mumbled Nilcoar leaned closer to Grif "What was that?" Nilcoar asked Grif sprung into action, jumping up and snatching Nilcoar's hat from his head. "NOOO!" Nilcoar shouted Grif watched, frozen in horror as wrinkles began etching their way across Nilcoar's face, then to the rest of his body, as his skin sagged, and bits of fur fell away from his coat leaving behind discolored bald patches. His hair quickly greyed and began thinning. His musculature shrank. His spine compressed. His joints crackled. Impossibly, he continued to age at an incredible pace, with no signs of stopping anytime soon. Before long, his withered bones could no longer support his frame. His right foreleg was the first to go. The bone in his upper leg buckled and snapped, throwing Nilcoar to the deck. His futile attempt to slow his fall with his other front leg only caused it to snap as well, leaving the fractured bone sticking out at an odd angle and protruding from his skin. Unable to slow his descent, Nilcoar's head slammed into the floor, sending what remained of his teeth clattering across the deck. The impact left his jaw dislocated at a strange angle. Grif finally composed himself. What was he supposed to do!? What was happening? He did the first thing that came to mind, and slammed the hat back on top of Nilcoar's head. Grif heard a muted crunch when his hoof holding the hat made contact with Nilcoar's head. Blood and brain matter began pouring out from under the bright red hat. Nilcoar strained to look up at Grif as the life faded from his eyes. What had he done... .... .- - Grif changed his mind. He'd been around Nilcoar long enough to know he would never voluntarily remove his hat. Grif decided to take matters into his own hooves. "Nilcoar?" Grif mumbled Nilcoar leaned closer to Grif "What was that?" Nilcoar asked Grif sprung into action, jumping up and snatching Nilcoar's hat from his head. "NOOO!" Nilcoar shouted As soon as Nilcoar's hat was lifted off his head, a torrent of bananas began pouring from it. Within seconds, the upper deck was covered in a dense layer of bananas, with Grif and Nilcoar buried beneath the yellow horde. Both stallions desperately clawed their way out, but the bananas were faster. For every centimeter of progress they made, there was another four centimeters of bananas to contend with. "Grif! Listen to me!" Nilcoar shouted as he dug through the mass of tropical fruit. "Once the initial supply of bananas runs out, they'll start transmuting everything they touch into bananas, we've got to stop it!" Grif didn't have the time to fully comprehend the implications of Nilcoar's statement, but he knew it was bad, redoubling his efforts to escape the ever growing sea of bananas. Against all odds, the pair broke through to the surface. The ship had already been completely swamped by the fruits, and bananas began spilling out into the ocean. Across the pile, the rest of the crew could be seen struggling through the quagmire. Nilcoar looked up. The hat sat at the top of the pile. It was at least 10 meters high, and rising fast. "Grif! You've got to climb up there and stop that hat!" Grif nodded before frantically making his way up the pile, propelling himself upwards using what was left of the ship's rigging, poking out from the yellow mountain. Grif was a climber, it was his special talent- If anyone could do this it was him. He was getting that hat. He clambered up the pile, attempting to find footholds, and constantly failing, tripping his way up. When a rope or a spar stuck out from the mess, it was like an oasis of stability in the rapidly rising tower of bananas. He took full advantage of those footholds, using them to launch himself as far as possible before searching for the next one. He continued on, slipping, tripping, falling, but gaining ground at a glorious fitful pace. At long last, he arrived at the peak, eyeing his prize. The bright red hat stood out like a beacon among the endless yellow. Grif scrambled towards the hat, and lifted it up, only to find that there were no more bananas spilling from its depths. Instead Grif stood there in an eerie silence atop the mountain of fresh produce. He examined the hat, turning Nilcoar's words over in his head. If there were no more bananas coming out of the hat, that must mean the initial supply had run out, which meant that- oh no. Grif let out a scream as his body began disintegrating into bananas. His atoms rearranged themselves. Fusing, bonding, shaping themselves into the substance known as potassium. Within a second, what was once Grif's body had been reduced to an unstable pile of bananas, tumbling down the side of the larger mass, indistinguishable from the rest of their yellow counterparts. The rest of the crew met the same ugly fate. Followed shortly by the ship itself, and then: the ocean. Celestia called an emergency meeting with the princesses and the elements of harmony. Once all members were assembled, princess Luna was the first to speak "What is the meaning of this, sister?" Celestia responded, speaking to the whole group. "I've just received reports from a pegasus patrol over the Eastern sea. They claim to see a gigantic yellow mass in the ocean. It's already the size of Manehattan and expanding- fast. We don't know what it is, or where it came from, but whatever it may be, it doesn't seem interested in preserving marine life. I fear the worst if it makes landfall. We need to do something. And quickly." Twilight quickly responded. "Could it be the schmooze? I know he's green and not yellow, but perhaps it's a similar creature?" "I thought the schmooze was purple!" Chimed pinkie pie. "Its color is secondary- we need to consider what kind of threat it poses to Equestria, and the world at large." Celestia spoke up, preemptively preventing Twilight from going on a tangent, and Pinkie from, well, being Pinkie pie. "Our only way of knowing for sure what we're deali-" Celestia was cut off by the sound of the doors to the meeting room being thrown open. A battered and sweating Spitfire flew into the room, her hooves skidding across the floor as she tried to bring herself to a halt, only to slam into Applejack's chair, then promptly collapsing onto her side. "T-theyre all dead. The wonderbolts. None of them.... survived. It- it made landfall..." Spitfire closed her eyes. Applejack promptly got up and knelt down next to Spitfire, placing a hoof under her chin. "Come on sugarcube, you've got to tell us what we're fightin against here" Spitfire slowly opened one eye and looked up at Applejack, before weakly speaking but one word: "Bananas." It was only minutes until Baltimare was engulfed, next manehattan, then Canterlot. The yellow scourge raced across the countryside, decimating Ponyville, Appleoosa, Dodge Junction- It. Was. Unstoppable. Not even Equestria's finest could remotely put up a fight against the pestilence. Within a day, cloudsdale was the only remaining bastion of civilization on all of Eques. When the bananas ran out of easily transmutable solids, they began transmuting the atmosphere itself, sucking in life giving air and condensing it into solid yellow masses. By the next day, the refugees on cloudsdale had all suffocated as the atmosphere became thinner and thinner. Soon enough, the surface of bananas reached high enough to consume Cloudsdale itself. At long last, there was nothing left to consume. The bananas had won. Luna and her sister sat on the moon, gazing up at the yellow marble they once called home. A single tear trailed down Celestia's cheek. "Why couldn't it have been cake?" .... .- - Nilcoar Awoke with a start, rocketing upright from his rope hammock. He gently rubbed his temple as he regained his bearings. "What a... strange dream..." He gazed around his small captain's quarters bleary eyed, trying to recall exactly what the dream had been about. His hat! Nilcoar frantically swung his hoof up to his head to feel for the red skull ornament that never left his side. It was still there. Thank Celestia. That's what the dream had been about- it all came rushing back to him in a torrent of confusing emotions. "My, that really was a strange dream..." He remained still for a moment, deep in thought. "I... I wonder what would happen if I took off my hat..." He shook his head. "No. No, I can't." He shivered at the image of his body shriveling up like a prune, and was humbled by the thought of the world ending. The possibilities were too dire. The stakes too high. He could NOT remove his hat, and that was the end of it. Nilcoar reached up and adjusted his hat. He licked his lips before slowly laying back down and- almost immediately- began sawing more logs than Equestria's largest lumber mill.
The StormA storm raged on in the middle of the ocean. A combination of wind, rain, ice and waves constantly beat down on the Dragonfly, the peculiar sailing ship of captain Nilcoar Scaggs. "Haul in! She can take it!" Shouted Nilcoar Nilcoar was at the helm, wrestling the wheel for control of the rudder. Simi and Hiri pulled desperately on the lines that trimmed the mainsail, Vissnir ran over to help them, using his immense size and strength to hold the mainsail fast. Holding the line tightly in his mouth he brought it over to a cleat where Hiri quickly tied it down. The three of them relaxed after the ordeal, breathing heavily. Grif was clambering around the top of the mainsail, checking the lines and connections while keeping an eye out for a place to beach or otherwise get out of the storm. He just watched as the rest of the crew hauled in the mainsail, putting immense stress on the spars and main mast. Grif didn't like the creaking that the mast was now making at all and decided he had better get down before it cracked and threw him into the ocean. Back on deck, Nilcoar was shouting at the crew. "Get up you buffoons, we're still in the middle of the worst storm I've seen in years! Get up, get up! I've never lost to the ocean, and I'm not losing to it now!" Nilcoar thought for a moment, there was one time he had gone crabbing and pulled up an octopus… he counted that as a loss. He shivered, remembering how slimy its tentacles were "Nevermind the part about never losing to the ocean, but still get your flanks to your stations!" Vissnir was the first one up, running up near the mast where the lines to raise and lower the sail were. Simi and Hiri soon followed and stood by the sail trimming lines once again. Grif had made it down the mast and dashed up to where Nilcoar was standing in the stern of the ship, slipping every so often along the way. "What is it Grif?" Nilcoar was still yelling in order to be heard over the storm. Grif took a moment to admire the fact that Nilcoar's hat somehow managed to stay on in the near 50 mile per hour winds. "I just think that we should really lower the sail a bit, it's creaking like crazy" Grif was worried. Unfazed, Nilcoar explained their situation to Grif "We're sailing through 10 to 15 meter waves here, we need all the speed we can get, or we could very well be capsized by one of these waves, and I don't plan on being tumbled around by Neptune today. Now get back up there and find us a way out of this mess!" Nilcoar shouted resolutely. Grif was still worried about the mast breaking and shifted uncomfortably in front of Nilcoar, unwilling to go back up. Nilcoar looked down at him. Morale was low, and he needed his crew at full capacity if they were going to get out of this storm in one piece. He decided to use a chant he hadn't pulled out in a while, something that was sure to give the crew an extra boost of motivation. Nilcoar smiled "Grif, how long have you been a sailor?" He Shouted. Grif looked up and started yelling "All me bloomin' life, sir! Me mother was a mermaid, and me father was King Neptune!" By now the rest of the crew joined in, chanting together, and Grif clambered back up the mast, yelling the whole way up "I was born on the crest of a wave and rocked in the cradle of the deep! Seaweed and barnacles are me clothes! Every tooth in me head's a marlinspike, the hair on me head is hemp! Every bone in my body is a spar! And when I spits, I spits tar! I's hard! I is, I am, I arrrrg!!!" The ship crested a wave, splashing water all over the deck and soaking the crew even more than they already were, but they were full of new resolve, determined to take on the storm and win. Just then, disaster struck. A heavy gust of wind pummeled the ship, and a loud ominous crack could be heard reverberating throughout the entire ship. It was a sound all sailors despised universally. The sound of a mast snapping. Within the blink of an eye, the cleats Hiri had tied the mainsail line to were ripped from their mounting on the deck, and flew across the ship. One of them slammed Simi in the head, knocking him out cold. The mast proceeded to fall forward at an angle. With a deafening crash, it smashed into the deck in a tangle of rope, canvas and wood. Grif was thrown into the freezing ocean. The ship lost almost all its headway, and was listing heavily to port under the lopsided weight of the mast. They were sitting ducks. -- Three long rings on the bell sounded to signify that someone fell overboard. Nilcoar began barking orders at his crew; they had to move fast or be left at the mercy of the building-sized waves. The first thing he had to do was get Grif back on board and clear the main mast off the ship so it didn't weigh them down. A 12 meter wave was closing in on the Dragonfly, threatening to capsize the crippled ship. "Vissnir, start lifting the mast off! Hiri, cut away and lines holding it onto the ship!" the twin drew a knife in his mouth and set about hacking at the ropes tangled in the mast while Vissnir slowly lifted it on his back and pushed it to sea. Nilcoar locked the wheel in the forward position, expertly tied a monkey's fist on the end of a spare line and threw the rope out towards Grif, who valiantly swam towards it. Grif successfully grabbed on. Nilcoar tied the rope down and let Grif climb his way up while he leaped back towards the wheel. The wave continued to get closer, growing in size as it barreled along. The Dragonfly was a Ketch ship, meaning it had two masts, one main mast, and one mizzenmast with a smaller sail. The secondary sail was their only hope now that the mainsail was out of the question. Nilcoar slid past the wheel and hauled in on the lines of the secondary sail to get as much speed out of it as possible. It creaked wildly. All he could do was hope it wouldn't crack. Vissnir and Hiri worked together to push what was left of the mainmast into the water, and the ship began to pick up speed, heading straight up the huge wave. Grif pulled himself up onto the deck, and the whole crew held on for dear life as they slowly went up the wave. It seemed almost as if the ship was pointing straight up. The crew was sure they were going to pitch backwards down the wall of water, but by some miracle, they barely managed to crest the wave and slide down the back, gaining speed again. The crew celebrated, Grif whooped, Vissnir stomped, Hiri cheered, and Nilcoar… Nilcoar wolfed down a banana. While he was still chewing, he yelled, his words muffled by the banana. "We're naw oud uh de woods yed!" The crew understood him. Mostly. Nilcoar swallowed, "All that did was buy us time, don't worry I have a plan!" The crew shuffled uneasily at the prospect of one of Nilcoar's far fetched plans. Or rather, they would have shuffled uneasily if it didn’t mean they would lose their footing on the wildly bucking ship. Nilcoar pointed towards the bow where there was still some wreckage left and commanded Grif “Fetch me a sturdy looking plank!" Grif nodded and dashed down to the wreckage. Meanwhile, Nilcoar kicked a false plank in the deck where they had a hidden Strongbox of valuables, causing it to flip up. He caught it midair and pulled a hammer with a few nails out of his hat just as Grif made it back to him with the other plank. Nilcoar nailed the planks in place to support the secondary mast. It needed to take a lot more stress than it was designed to withstand. If it broke, they’d have no other option and would likely all be… Nilcoar didn’t want to think about what would happen if the secondary mast broke too. While he nailed down the planks he called out to the crew “Grab something to paddle with, we’re going to need all the speed we can get!” Vissnir splashed a bucket of the freezing seawater into Simi’s face, waking him up with a jolt. “Wh- what the hell happened!” Vissnir silently pointed to Simis station. Simi obliged and rushed to his station, knowing full well now was not the time for questions. He shivered wildy. Nilcoar ordered Simi to haul in the secondary sail; they continued speeding towards the next mountain of ocean. As the wave bore down on them Nilcoar stared it down with determination. Just as they were about to make first contact with the wave, Judging speeds and distances with the experienced eye of a master navigator, he realized that they wouldn't have enough speed, even with everyone paddling like mad. A rapid succession of thoughts fired through his head in an attempt to find a solution. He couldn’t make it over the wave, leading to them capsizing, he couldn’t ride the wave because that would mean he needed to go faster than the wave, a feat impossible in a storm like this, also leading to a capsize. But what if he could? He briefly thought back to the surfer ponies he had seen at the beach many years ago. He couldn’t ride it with the wave directly at their stern… he remembered a surfer riding a particularly large wave at an angle as it crested along behind them. Maybe, if he got the right angle, he could get enough combined speed from the sail, their paddling and the wave itself, in order to outrun the crest by going alongside the wave rather than straight away from it. He didn’t have time to come up with any other ideas. The crew was observing their impending doom rush towards them in the form of a monster slab of amorphous water, when at the last second Nilcoar issued a command none of them expected: “Starboard tack!” Despite their surprise, the crew was well seasoned and jumped to their tasks, operating like a well oiled machine (at least as well as a well oiled machine drenched in freezing seawater can operate.) Nilcoar wrestled the wheel all the way to the right, making a sharp turn so that the ship was now sailing at an angle away from the wave rather than straight towards it. The crew readjusted the sail and lines as necessary to accommodate the new angle. The twins Simi and Hiri expertly trimmed the sail to get as much speed out of it as possible. The wave was gaining on them. The entire crew thought they were doomed for certain as the wave began to pick up the ship like it was a toy. The deck lurched wildly as the wall of water threatened to smash the port side of the ship. Nilcoar stood steadfast at the wheel with his eyes silted, partly from concentration, and partly from the rain slamming into his face. Grif took another moment to admire the fact that Nilcoar's hat was still on in the high speed wind… The crew paddled as if their lives depended on it, and chances were, they did. It felt like the ship would capsize at any second from the force of the wave, but as if by magic, the ship began sliding down the side of the wave at the same speed it was being lifted up. Nilcoar was right, and he had found the ideal angle for surfing. Unfortunately the crew was in too frantic of a situation to appreciate this incredible feat and instead continued rowing furiously. Simi and Hiri with oars, and Vissnir and grif with pieces of wrecked decking. Nilcoar didn’t dare glance behind him, but he could hear the thunderous noise of the wave cresting and curling over on itself behind the dragonfly. Thousands and thousands of litres of water with the ability to pulverise the ship into all of its individual component pieces and then some. If it wasn’t for the wide brim of his hat, Nilcoar would’ve noticed that part of the dragonfly was actually beneath the crest of the wave. Grif looked back in awe of the ceiling of water threatening to close around the back end of the ship and mercilessly destroy it. “Sweet Mother of Celestia…” His jaw dropped and he briefly stopped paddling until Vissnir nudged him. Grif shivered and began paddling with renewed vigor. The crest slowly closed in around the ship, shrinking in size by the second continuing to threaten to swallow the ship whole. Blessed with yet another miracle, they began inching away from the tube of destructive water. Nilcoar shouted at his crew “We’ve almost made it, this is the final push and I’ll be damned if we lose now! Row! Row! Row!” The crew redoubled their efforts to propel themselves away from certain death. The crest continued to wrap its deadly maw around the ship, but equally, the ship slipped away at an agonizingly slow pace. Just as the jaws of water were going to engulf the back of the ship, the secondary mast began creaking wildy as a gust of wind hit it. The planks Nilcoar had added held fast, and the gust gave them the extra bit of speed they needed to escape the wave. The crest pounded down on the sea behind them in a deafening display of nature's unbridled power. The wave was gone. The crew didn’t celebrate this time, instead opting to collapse on the deck in exhaustion. Grif had remained standing and called out to the crew “Land Ho!” Salvation. Grif used his hoof to point to an island a few hundred meters to their port side, which had previously been covered by the wave. The crew jumped to their feet with the last miniscule reserves of energy they had remaining. Nilcoar pulled four bananas out of his hat and rapidly threw them at the crew members who promptly wolfed them down. “I’m sorry, I lied last time, this is the final push, we’ll live to sail another day, we aren’t going down on my watch!” They dropped the paddles and returned to their usual stations, except now centered around the secondary mast rather than the main mast. They would have to sail straight into the wind in order to get to the island, but Nilcoar, an experienced sailor, knew a simple way around this. He continued on their starboard tack, with the wind coming from their port side, until the island was slightly behind them. Nilcoar shouted an order “Port Tack!” The crew was expecting it this time and smoothly, albeit tiredly, executed the tack. Now they were sailing directly toward the island and instead of the wind coming directly at them, it was now slightly to their starboard side. With the tack completed, the crew could be utilized elsewhere. “Now back to rowing! Double time! I’ll not get caught by another wave before we get to that there island!” The crew quickly reacquired their rowing implements and despite their exhausted state, began rapidly rowing towards the island. Their luck took a turn for the better, no more monster waves barred their path to the island. They had to crest several smaller ones, but nothing they couldn't handle. When they approached the island, Nilcoar didn’t order them to stop rowing, intending to fully beach the ship to keep it safe from the stormy waters. And then at once, their luck ran out. An agonizing grinding sound reverberated throughout the ship. They had just rammed a rock and torn a hole in the hull. Nilcaor had completely forgotten to look for the stony meat grinders that often hid beneath the surface before he sped full tilt towards the island. The ship immediately felt more sluggish and the crew cringed internally. Fortunately they weren't too far from the beach. The battered ship softly ran aground on the sand of the island. The crew had done this before and knew what to do without Nilcoar’s orders. Everyone jumped out of the ship and into the shallows. Grif ran forward with a beach anchor tied to the ship while the rest of the crew, including Nilcoar, pushed the ship onto the beach up above the waterline, which fortunately was not very far. Water rushed out from the gaping hole where they had struck the rock. The utterly spent ponies all collapsed where they stood, with their legs splayed out awkwardly. The rain pounded down on their exposed bodies. They didn’t care, they were too tired to seek shelter and they were already soaked anyway. Almost immediately, they all fell asleep including Nilcoar, who's supposed energy rich exterior had faded as soon as the ship had been safely hauled onto the shore. Vissnir woke a few minutes later and dutifully dragged his crewmates beneath a tree. He started a fire and pitched them a small tent from a spare sail. He lay down next to the fire, watching over his crewmates- nay, his family. They were safe.
StowawayNilcoar paced up and down the deck of the Dragonfly, his peculiar junk rigged ship. His crew was lined up in front of him. The 4 ponies watched him with apprehension. Except Vissnir, that is, he stood quiet and unmoving, his eyes mostly covered by his hair. The other three crew members, Simi, his brother Hiri and Grif shifted nervously back and forth on their hooves, waiting for Nilcoar to tell them what was on his mind. The pacing continued, it reminded Vissnir of a drill sergeant marching up and down rows of soldiers, the difference being, this one wasn't screaming at him. Nilcoar's hooves clicked and clacked against the hardwood deck for several more excruciating minutes, as the lanky captain pondered... well... something. At last, Nilcoar spoke. "It would seem... that we have a stowaway." Grif spoke up "Why would you think that?" "Our stock has been getting nibbled away at" Nilcoar gestured below deck while looking at his crew through slitted eyes. "It wasn't me!" Simi and Hiri said in near perfect unison, a 'skill' they had perfected over years of making up alibis, except this time they actually had no idea what the captain was talking about. "I know it wasn't you" Nilcoar spat "You two are sick of bananas" He glared at them distastefully before shaking his head "It wasn't Vissnir, the bites are too small for his mouth, and I'd trust Grif with my life" Nilcoar smiled at him, he was practically Grif's father, and he had taught him well. Simi snorted. "You wouldn't trust us with your life?" "No." Nilcoar paused "Actually, yes." "Well which is it?" Simi asked "If you were the only ones who could save my life would I really have a choice?" Hiri looked a bit crestfallen at this statement, while Simi just smiled deviously. "Back to the matter at hand!" Nilcoar produced a pair of hot pink bunny slippers from under his hat, along with a crumpled up napkin that had some unintelligible looking scribbles on it. The crew knew better than to question whatever he was thinking and chose to let him explain himself. "According to my calculations, our culprit is a rabbit." He gestured at the napkin, which upon closer inspection was covered in completely illegible writing and a crude drawing of a coconut... or... was it a bowling ball? Simi decided to ask. "What's that drawing for?" "What do you think?" "I dunno, looks like a coconut" "Wrong!" So it was a bowling ball Simi confirmed in his head, at least until Nilcoar spoke again: "It's a coconut bowling ball" Nilcoar stated plainly. Hiri was completely lost as to why this drawing existed. "Wh-" Hiri opened his mouth to speak but was promptly cut off by Nilcoar. "I used my navigation calipers to measure the bite marks on the bananas and compared it to the bite marks on my coconut bowling ball, which a rabbit took a bite of after it had enough of being a rabbit bowling pin, then I cross referenced it to the averaged mouth size of a bun bun- err- rabbit." He smiled proudly, but this answer raised more questions than it answered. "Rabbit bowling pin?" Hiri muttered. "How did you think to cross reference with the average mouth size of a rabbit?" Simi asked. "A hunch" Was the answer he got. It was then that Hiri remembered about the rabbit slippers that had materialized out of Nilcoar's hat. "And why do we need those?" "Stop asking questions and observe." Frankly, Nilcoar's response to Hiri was a lucky one, given his poor track record when being asked questions. Nilcoar fit the slippers over his front hooves and walked below deck. The crew's nervous movements began again. A few minutes later, Nilcoar returned from the hold with a rabbit perched on his head. Simi and Hiri's jaws dropped, while Grif just looked a little surprised. Vissnir was still quiet and showed no reaction. Hiri was speechless. Again. "Wha..." Simi spoke for him "You let it touch your hat!?" Hiri regained his composure "And he gave him a banana!" He poined at the banana balancing on the back of the rabbit. The rabbit looked around at the crew, it's nose twitching slightly. "He gives everyone bananas" Grif countered. Simi simply shrugged in reply. Grif looked at Nilcoar, a curious look on his face. "Now what?" Nilcoar actually didn't know what to do now, he didn't expect to get this far, but we was a quick thinker, undaunted by this. "Now? Well- now we throw him overboard." He said frankly. The crew recoiled in shock. "Or..." he had their attention again. "We keep it as a pet" The crew seemed to consider this for a moment before Grif spoke "But what about the last time you tried to keep a pet?" Nilcoar's smile faded and a distant look covered his features. "Ahh... Gort, he was a good fellow..." "You ate him." Simi said matter-of-factly. "Well what would you have done with the body?" "I would have thrown it overboard!" "Which brings us back to my first option!" The crew shuffled their hooves, thinking. For the first time since this encounter began, Vissnir spoke up. "Why don’t we just drop it off next time we put in?" The rest of the crew thought about this and then looked to Nilcoar for a verdict. "That makes perfect sense!" He gave Vissnir a hearty pat on the back "Why didn't you just say something earlier?" Several days later... The Dragonfly skimmed lightly across the water, it's hold near empty from a successful shipping run and lightened by the weight of a rabbit. The wind was on it's beam, the ship's finest point of sailing. Grif approached Nilcoar at the tiller. "Nilcoar?" "Hmm?" He kept his eyes up, watching the waves. "You know when you went below deck to find the rabbit?" "Yes?" Nilcoar nodded. "What did you do while you were down there?" "I clicked my tongue and said 'Here bunny bunny bunny' " "That's it?" "Mmhmm" "Really?" "Yup" "Huh..." Grif thought for a second "So what were the bunny slippers for?" "I felt like putting them on." Grif thought for a moment, he had known Nilcoar most of his life, but there were certain things he would just have to accept he would never understand about him. Grif shook his head and walked back below deck. Once Grif was gone Nilcoar reached into his hat to grab a banana to snack on, but instead when he pulled his hoof out of his hat he found himself face to face with the rabbit. It stared back at him with mischievous eyes. He could swear it was smiling. "You sneaky bastard.” His face slowly spread into a grin. Several more days later... Hiri urgently burst into Nilcoar's quarters, slaming the door open with reckless abandon. Something must've been terribly wrong. "Captain Quick!! Come on come on! You've got to get out here!! And- come... fast..." Hiri's sense of urgency faltered when he realized what Nilcoar had been doing before he rushed into the room. Nilcoar was sitting bolt upright in his hammock, having been completely blindsided by Hiri's entrance, with an embarrassed look on his face. Hiri's gaze lowered to see a rabbit, no, THE rabbit, sitting on Nilcoars lap and very obliviously snuggling into him. "You have to... Wha... So you did end up keeping it as a pet??" Hiri finally managed to ask, his previous frantic urgency completely gone now. "I- well... You see, he managed to sneak back on board with us- and... Tenacity like that makes him a valued crew member to me!" Nilcoar attempted to justify himself, turning up his nose authoritatively... for some reason- Hiri wasn't sure what, the captain was usually completely shameless in all the crazy stuff he engaged in. In fact, now that he thought about it, Hiri wasn't sure he'd ever seen the captain look embarrassed... something about rabbits, they were his weakness. Hiri filed that useful information away in his brain for later, he couldn't wait to tell Simi- they would surely get a lot of amusement out of this one. "Sooo... what's her name?" Hiri asked awkwardly. "Boog" Nilcoar responded reluctantly. "Boog? Why? How did you come up with Boog of all names? Boog??" "It's simple really, she's our second pet. The first was Gort, so I thought, why not Gort 2, but I thought that would be too similar to Gort, so to add some flair I thought, why not Gort 2 electric boogaloo but then that was too long, so I shortened it to Boog." Hiri took a moment to digest that line of reasoning. "Uhmm. Okay then" Hiri said, unsure of how to respond. Nilcoar cleared his throat rather loudly and spoke again. "So what's this crazy emergency you're on about hmm?" It was Hiri's turn to look embarrassed. Nilcoar's err- Boog- had thrown a wrench in his plans. He looked down and suddenl;y found his left fetlock extremely captivating. "I- We... we're just going to prank you, it was nothing, actually. I'm sorry." Nilcoar perked up excidedly and quickly scrambled out of his hammock, gingerly placing Boog in his place. "A prank! Oh that sounds like so much fun, what were you boys planning this time?" Nilcoar said excitedly. Hiri had no clue how to handle this situation, and hesitated before Nilcoar spoke again. "Well don't keep me in suspense! Come on! there's no time to waste!" Nilcoar smiled wide and trotted past Hiri, out of his quarters. Hiri stood, stunned. "I don't think that's how it works..." Hiri tried countering half heatedly, watching Nilcoar happily trot outside where he was promptly drenched by a bucket of bright red dye. Hiri winced as the liquid made impact with Nilcoar's coat staining it a dirty brownish purple when mixed with his turquoise coat. Simi could be heard laughing hysterically from outside. "He really can't blame us for that one..."
Enter: Always an AdventureA stiff wind blew across the great blue horizon. Small waves gently formed and traveled a few meters, before their tiny white caps dissolved, returning to the deep waters of the ocean. Skimming lightly along the surface, catching the wind at just the right angle, was a peculiar sailing ship. The hull was painted a banana yellow and the exposed wood on the deck and railings were stained a deep maroon red. The ship's two, junk rigged sails were a rather odd sight. Each sail was made up of several large rectangular sections, each in turn separated by a spar and ending off with a large boom at the bottom. Ropes were spread around, suspending the sails, and, in addition to providing structural support, allowed for full control of the vessel. Together, the ropes drew triangles all over the ship. Near the stern, the name Dragonfly was emblazoned, finishing off the unique look of the ship. The Dragonfly sped towards its home port after a long shipping run. Captain Nilcoar Scaggs stood at the helm of his beloved vessel. Its deck hummed beneath his hooves, and the wheel was alive in his hooves. He was a tall teal stallion with a short, creamy white mane and tail. The brisk ocean air rushed past his face causing the large white feather on his equally large and flamboyant red hat to flap in the wind. "I'm hungry for some tater tots!" He shouted to his crew. -- Loose Embargo sat at his desk, idly spinning a coin on the dark mahogany. The past few hours had been slow, heck the past few days had been slow. There had been virtually no traffic in or out of the port all day, and hardly any throughout the week. Being a Harbormaster could sure be boring sometimes. In addition to charging fees associated with docking and maintenance, his job was to check the cargo entering and leaving the port, keeping records, and ensuring no contraband was being transported under the table (or above it for that matter). Unfortunately, that meant that when there were no ships entering or leaving the port, he had virtually nothing to do. All his pending paperwork was already finished and his office was clean as could be. The light grey stallion sat there, wishing for something, anything, to break the monotony and quell his boredom. As if on cue, a rather unkempt and skinny looking guard opened the door to his office. "Sir there's a ship approaching" The mare stated, matter of fact. Loose Embargo jumped to his hooves and trotted to the door "finally," he thought. The guard was a young mare with a mostly white coat that had a few splotches of grey near her flank. Her hair was a silvery grey, as was her namesake: Silver Mint "Show me what we're working with Minty'' said Embargo with a sense of relief in his voice. The guard blushed slightly at the nickname before speaking as they walked out of the customs house and towards the pier. "She's a Ketch junk rig sir" Embargo stopped in his tracks and looked out to the ocean. "Sir?" Said the guard with concern There was only one vessel that could be. The Dragonfly. Embargo hated dealing with the Dragonfly, his encounters with the eccentric captain of the ship were interesting, he had to admit, but nearly every time, he found some sort of contraband hidden aboard the vessel beneath boxes of exotic fruit. Likewise, almost every time, the captain found some completely unexpected way out of the situation. Sometimes, Embargo just let them go to save himself the headache and more importantly, the paperwork. "You're kidding right?" Said Embargo, but deep down he knew that the mare was telling the truth. "No sir, I would never kid with you sir." "When can I stop telling you to please stop calling me sir. This isn't the military." "Sir yes- er- of course…uh" the mare tried to think of something else to call him, but Embargo spoke before she got the chance. "You're dismissed, go… go eat a donut or something okay?" Embargo hoped he could at least save her the headache of dealing with the Dragonfly. "Aye harbormaster" the guard opted to use Embargo's official title. "Go on, get out of here for a little while" The guard gave a lopsided salute before trotting off. Embargo watched the thin mare go and mumbled under his breath "That poor kid needs a sandwich" -- Back on board the Dragonfly, spurred by Nilcoar's comment on tater tots, the crew was now discussing the different foods they hoped to have in port with much gusto in anticipation of the deliciousness- at least, delicious compared to the rations they'd been eating for the past month. "Look, you guys keep bringing up tater tots, but hear me out, what you want is a good hash brown casserole" "No no no, you've got it all wrong, what they want is hashbrown pancakes, not casserole" "But with casserole you still get the goodness of the potato, and you also get tons of other yummy ingredients, anything you can think of really- carrots, tomatoes, ooh, and cheese, and also…" Hiri went on listing potential casserole ingredients as he bickered with his twin, Simi. Or was it Simi bickering with his twin Hiri? An outside viewer wouldn't be able to tell that Hiri was the one listing off ingredients as both twins looked nearly identical. Both had a light tan coat with a short brown mane and tail. They constantly bickered, assuming they had nothing better to do. That being either: A. Trimming the sails to get the most speed out of the ship, or B. Causing any amount of devious trouble. Despite their mischievous nature, the twins had an indescribable synergy that made them expert sail trimmers, an indispensable asset to the crew. Unfortunately, that same synergy carried over to causing trouble. "I stand by the tater tots idea, good casserole is something you can only get in a rare hole in the wall kind of pub, or if you cook it yourself, tater tots on the other hand, are hard for any restaurant to mess up. Plus, you can still put cheese on them" Said Grif, a lanky colt, the shortest of the crew. Although he was at an intersection of age where he could potentially be called a stallion, to the crew, he'd always be a colt. Vissnir grunted in agreement with Grif "If I can swallow it, it's probably good enough anyways" Vissnir stated matter of fact in his deep voice. His voice carried far despite how low he seemed to be speaking. His statement was somewhat ironic considering how good of a cook he was. Vissnir was a large- even huge- stallion with a reddish brown coat and a thick dark brown mane that hung down covering most of his eyes. All of a sudden, Nilcoar's face lit up as if struck by genius. "If prench fries are fried potato… what if we tried fried banana!" "I'm pretty sure that already exists, I've seen it at some ice cream place before" Simi called back to Nilcoar, who's face lit up even more at this news. "Please tell me more! I'll take the whole crew there and we can all try fried banana!" He cried triumphantly. "Uhhh… something… bees? I think? That's all I remember" Simi didn't sound confident in his answer and looked to Hiri for help, who only shrugged in response. "Something to do with skin..." Simi mused deep in thought. "That's it!" Hiri chimed in "Leather- err uh, Leathery Bees?" "Interesting… Leathery Bees… what a terrible name for an ice cream parlor" Nilcoar said in thought. He drew the sword strapped to his side and pointed it forward purposefully. "We shall go to this Leathery-bees and acquire fried bananas or so help me Gort!" He cried in a loud commanding tone. "You're uh… you're doing the thing again" Grif warned Nilcoar "Right, I got ahead of myself" he looked at his sword lovingly "You be good now Jerry, time to rest" he sheathed his sword. "Until we get said fried banana and potato of… various cooking methods, these should keep your hunger at bay" The entire crew knew exactly what was coming next. Nilcoar reached into his hat and retrieved several yellow bananas; more than could reasonably have fit inside his hat, and tossed one to each of the four crew members before biting into his own. -- "Prepare to dock!" Nilcoar called out, even though the small crew probably didn't need to be given the order in the first place. The stallions scuttled around the deck as the Dragonfly pulled into port. Simi and Hiri raised the sails, Vissnir lobbed wicker buoys over the side of the ship, and Grif prepared to toss lines across to the waiting deckhand on the dock. Loose Embargo stood on the dock ready to greet the captain, but Nilcoar beat him to it. "Hey, Loosey goosey, how are you?" Nilcoar called out to Embargo like they were old friends. Embargo sighed, preparing himself for the inevitable headache. "I'm fine, Nilcoar, will you show me your shipping receipts." Embargo said unenthused. The sentence was more of a command than a question. Nilcaor pranced forward with his akward sailors gait, jumping down onto the warped and sun beaten planks of the dock. "Aw come on, always all business. Have some fun every once in a while eh?" Nilcoar threw a hoof around Embargo's shoulders. The rest of the crew began unloading crates from the ship and onto a cart sitting at the end of the dock. "Please Nilcoar, I don't have time for this" He did actually, have more than enough time for this, but Nilcoar didn't know that. "There's always time for bananas my friend, you'll understand when you're older" Nilcoar waved his hoof in the air wistfully "I'm at least fifteen years older than you." Embargo said with an exasperated sigh. Nilcoar didn't seem to hear him. "Look, I brought back a new special banana just for you!" Nilcoar produced a short, blue banana from under his hat and held it out to Embargo. "They call it blue Java, or more self explanatory, ice cream bananas!" Embargo pushed the banana away. "Thanks Nilcoar, your banana collection is all well and good, but please, I have a job to do here." "Oh of course! Why didn't you just say so?" Nilcoar fished around under his hat and produced a stained cocktail napkin with a poorly drawn fish on it. "Oh, sorry, wrong piece of paper, here hold this" before Embargo could refuse, Nilcoar had placed the napkin in his hoof. Embargo sighed again and looked down at the napkin while Nilcoar continued to fish around under his hat. Beneath the fish drawing a single word was scribbled in a different color of ink: "Gort" Embargo didn't want to bother questioning it, he had learned all too well that questioning Nilcoar generally led to a worse headache. Finally Nilcoar produced a large scroll from his hat and snapped it so that it unrolled completely on the dock. Embargo stared dumbfounded at the parchment, the scroll had to be at least 10 feet long. He resisted the urge to ask how Nilcoar had even fit the scroll in his hat. Embargo had seen him pull strange things from his hat, but never anything this large… It was then that Embargo realized the scroll was completely blank. He followed the scroll with his eyes until he got to the top where Nilcoar was holding it up. There were two lines of text written in incredibly fine print on the scroll. "Here you are, the entire contents of the cargo hold, just for you" Embargo squinted to try and make out the text, reading it aloud. "Bananas… 60 ca- caboo-dles? What's a caboodle?" Embargo realized his mistake too late, he had questioned the captain. "A caboodle? Well that's simple! It's a part of the measuring system I devised myself, I really think it could catch on, the total number of caboodles is equal to ten percent of however many crates you have plus the weight of the combined shipment, then multiply that by ten, and subtract ten times the weight" Embargo was lost very quickly "how… how many crates is that?" Embargo asked. Nilcor looked up in thought, then dumped a few bananas out of his hat and began counting them, shuffling them around, then counting them again, presumably in order to calculate the number of crates 60 caboodles was equal to. Finally he looked up "That's 60 crates of bananas" Nilcoar answered proudly. Embargo placed a hoof on his temple. He already felt the headache coming on. He thought about what Nilcoar's formula was before slowly realizing that it did in fact lead to the same exact value you start with. He shook his head "whatever you say" Embargo droned before looking back at the parchment to read the second line. "pineapples… 15… oodles… Just tell me how many crates that is… please" Embargo sounded desperate. "Oh, for sure, 15 crates of pineapples, I just felt like writing oodles, there's no conversion for it" Nilcoar said happily. "Thank Celestia" muttered Embargo. He began walking to where the crates were being unloaded. "Alright you know the drill, I have to make sure what's on the receipt is what's in the hold, and yes I'm aware of your 'no questions asked policy' but again, I have different rules to follow, so yes, I have to inspect your crates even if you have never even opened them." Embargo tried to preemptively avoid any protest from the smuggler. "All I know is that I ship fruit, you know that." Nilcoar assured Embargo. Embargo took a deep breath and tried to relax. "Alright, open them up" Embargo gestured to a few of the crates. Simi and Hiri each had a crowbar in their mouth. They dutifully began prying up the wooden lids of the crates. Embargo waited patiently, thankful that Nilcoar's crew seemed to be more punctual than the captain himself. Once one was completely open he took a look inside. Sure enough it was filled to the brim with various states of unripe green and yellow bananas. Embargo began rummaging around the crate, checking for a false bottom. When he felt the bottom of the crate with his hoof he was satisfied and pleasantly surprised. His expression quickly changed from surprise to pain as he felt a sharp piercing pain in his leg. He let out a scream and promptly pulled his leg out of the crate with a bright orange and yellow snake attached to it. "MOTHER OF LUNA" Embargo yowled through the excruciating pain. Grif immediately ran over to try and pull the snake off of his leg. Several other snakes began slithering out of the wooden box. "So it was snakes this time," remarked Simi thoughtfully. Nilcoar jumped on the cart and frantically tried pushing the snakes back in, prodding them with a banana. "Time to go!" He exclaimed. Vissnir hitched himself to the cart and began muscling it forwards immediately. Nilcoar was still on the cart dancing around the snakes. Simi and Hiri ran over, setting their shoulders on the cart and pushing with all they had. Grif finally managed to wrestle the snake off of Embargo, who cradled his leg In pain. "I'm sorry Mr. Embargo, I hope your leg heals!" Grif called back as he ran to catch up with the rest of the crew. Embargo yelped when he realized the snake was priming itself to strike again. He limped away as fast as he could, shaking his hoof at the captain, who failed to notice him in the midst of his frantic dance with the snakes. "Later, Loosey Goosey!" Hiri Shouted back, using the Nilcoar’s nickname for the harbormaster. Embargo grumbled. "What in tartarus am I supposed to do with them…"
