Always an Adventure

A pelican soared through the great blue sky. It's large wings outstretched, catching the lazy breeze that flew seaward, propelling the bird in a relaxed glide. It eyed the water, searching for signs of a meal. Instead of any fish, the white bird was met with a strange looking ship, catching the very same breeze in its oddly shaped maroon sails.

Aboard the Dragonfly, Grif sat up high in the rigging, his neck craned up to the sky as he watched a pelican fly past. He smiled faintly at the sight of the bird before turning his attention back to the mast he clung to. There wasn't any need for him to be up there as of now, but Grif enjoyed clambering around the masts and rigging of the small ship, and relaxing up where no one could bother him. Not that there were many who could bother him out in the middle of the ocean. Nevertheless, he found the solitude calming. There was something on his mind, something he couldn't stop thinking about. Nilcoar's hat. What was it? What was under it? Why didn't Nilcoar let anyone touch it? Typically Grif wouldn't question the eccentric captain, a lesson he had learned in his upbringing around the odd stallion. Questioning Nilcoar often left the asker with more questions than they started with, and ultimately, led nowhere. That wasn't to discredit the captain, his methods still always seemed to work, even if extremely unconventional and roundabout. Still, recently, Grif came to the realization that even after being practically raised by Nilcoar, he had NEVER, not once, seen the captain without his flamboyant red hat. Grif was pretty sure he slept with it on. The captain was fiercely protective of his hat. He let no one touch it, and at most would lift it slightly to pull something out of it, though never removing it completely.

That was the other thing about his hat. The things he was able to conjure from its depths... it had to be some kind of magic. Something allowed him to store nigh endless amounts of bananas in it, his spyglass, several maps, huge rolls of parchment, a hammer, a bowling ball, no, a coconut bowling ball, a rabbit, a fish, several snakes... the list went on- and that was only the stuff Grif had actually seen him pull out before. Who knew how much other stuff he kept in its cavernous depths.

Grif had gone his whole life content to leave Nilcoar and his hat be. As with most strange habits Nilcoar had, there was usually some good reason for it, and if he didn't want to share, Grif was okay with that. Until now. What was his secret? Was he hiding something? Did the hat have some kind of intense sentimental value to him? Or was it something else? What else could it be? Grif's mind had been racing with these questions and attempting to conjure some kind of explanation for the past several days. He wasn't sure why his curiosity was suddenly piqued about Nilcoar's hat, but now he HAD to know the truth. Maybe he was just bored, perhaps he had too much time to think. In any case, Grif couldn't go on like this any longer. He trusted Nilcoar, and Nilcoar trusted him. Surely, Nilcoar would understand his curiosity... but Grif had to accept the fact that Nilcoar probably wouldn't reveal the truth to him, judging by how overprotective and snappy he could get about his hat. He didn't expect an answer, but he had to at least try to ask the Captain. Grif let out a long sigh and began working his way back down to the deck.

Nilcoar stood at the helm, as he usually did. He wasn't needed, his first mate Vissnir could more than competently handle any necessary course corrections as they sailed on a set heading. However, Nilcoar always preferred to be at the wheel, feeling his ship hum with life beneath his hooves, detecting every slight movement caused by changes in the wind, the angle of the deck, the fill of the sails, the sound of the wake. He was attuned to every detail, and through his decades of experience, he was able to coax out every ounce of speed from his beloved ship.

Grif approached the helm, looking up at the wiry stallion he called his captain.
"Afternoon Grif!"
The captain spoke before Grif got a chance to say anything. He kept his eyes trained on the water and glanced up at the sails often.
"Good afternoon, captain, how's the water?"
Grif asked

"Hmmm...." Nilcoar thought for a moment "I'm not sure, I haven't gone swimming, let me find out for you." Nilcoar began shouting at nothing in particular. "HOW'S THE WATER OLD GIRL?"
Grif could only guess he was calling out to the ship itself, after all, there were no girls on board.

Nilcoar listened intently for a few seconds before turning to Grif.
"She says it's nice and warm, a pleasant 36 degrees and gorgeously low turbidity, about 15 fathoms!"
Grif watched Nilcoar quizzically
"Wh- what does any of that mean?"

"You'll understand when your older."
Replied Nilcoar matter of fact.
"How's the rigging today? You've been up there more often lately..."
Nilcoar questioned.

"Well- about that, while I was up there, I was thinking-"
Nilcoar cut Grif off
"Oh that's wonderful! Isn't it amazing!"
"Huh?"
"Thinking! Isn't it absolutely incredible!"
"Yeah I... I guess it is pretty cool... look, I was thinking-"
Nilcoar cut him off again
"I know! Oh, you're growing up so fast, I didn't start thinking until I was twenty four! I've always seen potential in you Grif, in fact, I see a lot of myself in you"
Nilcoar spoke with an unexpected and unusual sense of sincerity that filled Grif with pride. On the other hand, the fact that Nilcoar was comparing Grif to himself was mildly concerning, to say the least.

"Nilcoar?"
"Yes Grif?"
"I have a question"
"That's wonderful Grif, questions are what drive us forward as individuals and as a species, our inherent curiosity and insatiable need to understand the world around us is what makes us-"
"Nilcoar."
Grif interrupted him calmly
"I'm going to ask you a question."
"Well why didn't you just say so?" Nilcoar said, confused.
Grif glanced down at his hooves, steeling himself to ask one of the few questions he was sure would aggravate Nilcoar...

.... .- -

Grif finally gained the confidence to speak
"What's up with your hat? W-why are you always so... protective of it- I mean, don't answer if you don't want to..." Grif asked nervously.

Nilcoar looked down solemnly.
"No its alright. I think it's high time you knew the truth."
Nilcoar reached up and slowly removed his hat, revealing a large bald spot on the peak of his head. The captain met Grif's eyes. Nilcoar's face was full of Anguish.
"Do you still love me?"
"That's it?" Grif spoke, surprised
"That's it!? THAT'S IT!??" Nilcoar cried
"I just expected something more... more important I guess." Grif said
"Important? This IS important! I've been suffering for the past TWO DECADES of my life and there's NOTHING I can do to stop it!" Nilcoar said, his voice betraying obvious stress.
"I've tried everything! Magic, toupes, magic toupes, illusions, surgery, acupuncture, homeopathy, this strange magnet device- you get the idea: I'M CURSED!!" Nilcoar broke down and started crying.

.... .- -

Grif finally gained the confidence to speak
"What's up with your hat? W-why are you always so... protective of it- I mean, don't answer if you don't want to..." Grif asked nervously.
Nilcoar looked to Grif confidently.
"Oh well that's simple! It's where I keep my banana collection, and we can't have anyone tampering with that, you know Grif, I'm something of a father to you and the crew, and I'm not supposed to say I have favorites- but let's just say I expect great things from you, and one day, this hat will be yours! Along with the bananas. I wouldn't trust anyone else with them." Nilcoar smiled reassuringly at Grif.

"And how does it work? Like how do you fit everything in it?" Grif asked.

"Well that's simple, let me show you!"
Nilcoar removed his hat, giving Grif his first ever view of the top of Nilcoar's head and- well- it looked decidedly normal, covered with the same messy off-white hair as the rest of his head.

"Now look, I had this old crazy wizard friend who was able to put an enchantment on it to create a sort of extra dimensional pocket in space which allows me to fit everything in it, what's more, she also...."
He went on, explaining the magical intricacies of his hat.

.... .- -

Grif finally gained the confidence to speak
"What's up with your hat? W-why are you always so... protective of it- I mean, don't answer if you don't want to..." Grif asked nervously.
Nilcoar looked down solemnly.
"No its alright. I think it's high time you knew the truth."
Nilcoar reached up and slowly removed his hat, Gingerly flipping it upside down, before reaching in and pulling out a small ceramic container. He set the container down, then removed the lid, revealing a fine, greyish looking powder.

"Margarita." Nilcoar said quietly, as a silent tear rolled down his cheek.

Grif looked on in curiosity and slight confusion. Then he realized.

.... .- -

Grif changed his mind. He'd been around Nilcoar long enough to know he would never voluntarily remove his hat. Grif decided to take matters into his own hooves.
"Nilcoar?" Grif mumbled
Nilcoar leaned closer to Grif
"What was that?" Nilcoar asked
Grif sprung into action, jumping up and snatching Nilcoar's hat from his head.
"NOOO!" Nilcoar shouted
Grif watched, frozen in horror as wrinkles began etching their way across Nilcoar's face, then to the rest of his body, as his skin sagged, and bits of fur fell away from his coat leaving behind discolored bald patches. His hair quickly greyed and began thinning. His musculature shrank. His spine compressed. His joints crackled. Impossibly, he continued to age at an incredible pace, with no signs of stopping anytime soon. Before long, his withered bones could no longer support his frame. His right foreleg was the first to go. The bone in his upper leg buckled and snapped, throwing Nilcoar to the deck. His futile attempt to slow his fall with his other front leg only caused it to snap as well, leaving the fractured bone sticking out at an odd angle and protruding from his skin. Unable to slow his descent, Nilcoar's head slammed into the floor, sending what remained of his teeth clattering across the deck. The impact left his jaw dislocated at a strange angle.

Grif finally composed himself. What was he supposed to do!? What was happening? He did the first thing that came to mind, and slammed the hat back on top of Nilcoar's head. Grif heard a muted crunch when his hoof holding the hat made contact with Nilcoar's head. Blood and brain matter began pouring out from under the bright red hat. Nilcoar strained to look up at Grif as the life faded from his eyes.

What had he done...

.... .- -

Grif changed his mind. He'd been around Nilcoar long enough to know he would never voluntarily remove his hat. Grif decided to take matters into his own hooves.
"Nilcoar?" Grif mumbled
Nilcoar leaned closer to Grif
"What was that?" Nilcoar asked
Grif sprung into action, jumping up and snatching Nilcoar's hat from his head.
"NOOO!" Nilcoar shouted

As soon as Nilcoar's hat was lifted off his head, a torrent of bananas began pouring from it. Within seconds, the upper deck was covered in a dense layer of bananas, with Grif and Nilcoar buried beneath the yellow horde. Both stallions desperately clawed their way out, but the bananas were faster. For every centimeter of progress they made, there was another four centimeters of bananas to contend with.
"Grif! Listen to me!" Nilcoar shouted as he dug through the mass of tropical fruit.
"Once the initial supply of bananas runs out, they'll start transmuting everything they touch into bananas, we've got to stop it!" Grif didn't have the time to fully comprehend the implications of Nilcoar's statement, but he knew it was bad, redoubling his efforts to escape the ever growing sea of bananas. Against all odds, the pair broke through to the surface. The ship had already been completely swamped by the fruits, and bananas began spilling out into the ocean. Across the pile, the rest of the crew could be seen struggling through the quagmire. Nilcoar looked up. The hat sat at the top of the pile. It was at least 10 meters high, and rising fast. "Grif! You've got to climb up there and stop that hat!"
Grif nodded before frantically making his way up the pile, propelling himself upwards using what was left of the ship's rigging, poking out from the yellow mountain. Grif was a climber, it was his special talent- If anyone could do this it was him. He was getting that hat.

He clambered up the pile, attempting to find footholds, and constantly failing, tripping his way up. When a rope or a spar stuck out from the mess, it was like an oasis of stability in the rapidly rising tower of bananas. He took full advantage of those footholds, using them to launch himself as far as possible before searching for the next one. He continued on, slipping, tripping, falling, but gaining ground at a glorious fitful pace.

At long last, he arrived at the peak, eyeing his prize. The bright red hat stood out like a beacon among the endless yellow. Grif scrambled towards the hat, and lifted it up, only to find that there were no more bananas spilling from its depths. Instead Grif stood there in an eerie silence atop the mountain of fresh produce. He examined the hat, turning Nilcoar's words over in his head. If there were no more bananas coming out of the hat, that must mean the initial supply had run out, which meant that- oh no. Grif let out a scream as his body began disintegrating into bananas. His atoms rearranged themselves. Fusing, bonding, shaping themselves into the substance known as potassium. Within a second, what was once Grif's body had been reduced to an unstable pile of bananas, tumbling down the side of the larger mass, indistinguishable from the rest of their yellow counterparts. The rest of the crew met the same ugly fate. Followed shortly by the ship itself, and then: the ocean.

Celestia called an emergency meeting with the princesses and the elements of harmony.

Once all members were assembled, princess Luna was the first to speak
"What is the meaning of this, sister?"
Celestia responded, speaking to the whole group.
"I've just received reports from a pegasus patrol over the Eastern sea. They claim to see a gigantic yellow mass in the ocean. It's already the size of Manehattan and expanding- fast. We don't know what it is, or where it came from, but whatever it may be, it doesn't seem interested in preserving marine life. I fear the worst if it makes landfall. We need to do something. And quickly."

Twilight quickly responded.
"Could it be the schmooze? I know he's green and not yellow, but perhaps it's a similar creature?"
"I thought the schmooze was purple!" Chimed pinkie pie.
"Its color is secondary- we need to consider what kind of threat it poses to Equestria, and the world at large." Celestia spoke up, preemptively preventing Twilight from going on a tangent, and Pinkie from, well, being Pinkie pie.
"Our only way of knowing for sure what we're deali-" Celestia was cut off by the sound of the doors to the meeting room being thrown open. A battered and sweating Spitfire flew into the room, her hooves skidding across the floor as she tried to bring herself to a halt, only to slam into Applejack's chair, then promptly collapsing onto her side.
"T-theyre all dead. The wonderbolts. None of them.... survived. It- it made landfall..."
Spitfire closed her eyes.
Applejack promptly got up and knelt down next to Spitfire, placing a hoof under her chin.
"Come on sugarcube, you've got to tell us what we're fightin against here"
Spitfire slowly opened one eye and looked up at Applejack, before weakly speaking but one word:

"Bananas."

It was only minutes until Baltimare was engulfed, next manehattan, then Canterlot. The yellow scourge raced across the countryside, decimating Ponyville, Appleoosa, Dodge Junction-

It. Was. Unstoppable.

Not even Equestria's finest could remotely put up a fight against the pestilence. Within a day, cloudsdale was the only remaining bastion of civilization on all of Eques. When the bananas ran out of easily transmutable solids, they began transmuting the atmosphere itself, sucking in life giving air and condensing it into solid yellow masses. By the next day, the refugees on cloudsdale had all suffocated as the atmosphere became thinner and thinner. Soon enough, the surface of bananas reached high enough to consume Cloudsdale itself. At long last, there was nothing left to consume. The bananas had won.

Luna and her sister sat on the moon, gazing up at the yellow marble they once called home. A single tear trailed down Celestia's cheek.
"Why couldn't it have been cake?"

.... .- -

Nilcoar Awoke with a start, rocketing upright from his rope hammock. He gently rubbed his temple as he regained his bearings.
"What a... strange dream..."
He gazed around his small captain's quarters bleary eyed, trying to recall exactly what the dream had been about.

His hat! Nilcoar frantically swung his hoof up to his head to feel for the red skull ornament that never left his side. It was still there. Thank Celestia. That's what the dream had been about- it all came rushing back to him in a torrent of confusing emotions.
"My, that really was a strange dream..."
He remained still for a moment, deep in thought.
"I... I wonder what would happen if I took off my hat..."
He shook his head.
"No. No, I can't."
He shivered at the image of his body shriveling up like a prune, and was humbled by the thought of the world ending. The possibilities were too dire. The stakes too high. He could NOT remove his hat, and that was the end of it.

Nilcoar reached up and adjusted his hat. He licked his lips before slowly laying back down and- almost immediately- began sawing more logs than Equestria's largest lumber mill.