I Never Wanted This

by StormLuna

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Spike, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6
Length: 3541

After defeating the Legion of Doom, everypony thinks that Twilight is ready to take on being the sole ruler of Equestria. When Celestia tells her this, she begins to think about her past and how she was never in charge of her own destiny.

After defeating the Legion of Doom, everypony thinks that Twilight is ready to take on being the sole ruler of Equestria. When Celestia tells her this, she begins to think about her past and how she was never in charge of her own destiny. After spending some time alone and then with her friends, she realizes that she must make a huge decision, a decision that has so much at stake.

Published 2022-10-16 22:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-10-16 22:30:01 UTC

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Author's Note

I have read multiple articles about how Twilight will not outlive her friends. One brought up the Elements of Harmony giving her friends long life spans....this was written prior to season 9. Even if that were the case, with the Elements having been shattered and it seeming that the Tree of Harmony is connected to the Young Six, would that even be the case anymore?

I am bringing this up because of events that will take place in this story which takes place immediately after "The Ending of the End, Part 2."

Discussions

Twilight Sparkle, her friends and many others had just combined their friendship and unleashed a beam of rainbow power on the Legion of Doom and defeated them. After Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and Discord turned the three defeated villains to stone, Celestia addressed Twilight, "When I sent you to Ponyville, I had high hopes. When you became the Princess of Friendship, I knew I made the right choice. But nothing could prepare me for how proud I am right now. Equestria is definitely in the right hooves. You are ready."

Taking over Equestria for Celestia and Luna was something that Twilight had been questioning ever since she and her friends cast King Sombra back into the ether. While she had accomplished many feats with her friends by her side, she was still unsure, "Are you sure Princess Celestia, you really think I'm ready to run a whole country?"

Celestia wanted to calm her down, "Twilight, you have done so much. You have defeated so many villains, you run your own school and you are so smart. I can't think of anypony more well suited to take over for me than you."

Twilight countered, "But I've done all of that with my friends by my side, all of it! I've never done anything like that on my own."

Celestia tried to reassure her, "Twilight, it will be all of you ruling. Yes you will be the one up here handling everything I do but still, whenever you need them by your side, they'll be there."

Rainbow agreed, "Yeah Twi, you know if you need us that we'll get up here."

Pinkie added, "Without you, we never would have beat those meanies!"

Rarity continued, "Twilight darling, Princess Celestia wouldn't be saying this if it weren't true."

Applejack added, "Like she said Twilight, you'll be perfect for the job and we all have faith in you."

Fluttershy finished, "Uhm Twilight, Princess Celestia knows you are ready and we all think the same. We will be here for you if you need it."

One of her friends however could tell that something was bothering her. Spike said, "Twilight, I know you're ready too but there is more here than meets the eye, isn't there?"

Twilight replied, "There is Spike." She began to head away from the princesses and everypony else. She continued, "Spike, could I tell you something alone?" She then turned to Celestia, "I need a moment alone with Spike, alright?"

Celestia nodded and Spike followed Twilight a great distance to where they were out of eyesight of everypony else. Once Twilight felt like they were far enough away she had a sad look on her face, "Spike, can I tell you something and you won't think I'm bad?"

Spike replied, "Twilight, I've been here for you the longest so of course you can."

Twilight began, "Spike, this isn't what I wanted! Why is it that Celestia thinks that I want to take over for her? She isn't even taking my feelings into account!"

"Twilight," Spike responded "I thought you wanted this."

Twilight continued, "No Spike, I don't. I never asked her for this. It is just like when she ascended me, I never asked to be an Alicorn, I never asked to be a princess! I fixed a spell so I could fix my friends because I knew it had to be done! I didn't do it to become a princess!" Her voice became louder as she continued, "All I ever wanted was to be with my friends and ultimately become as powerful as Starswirl! I was perfectly happy as a unicorn, knowing that I'd have a normal lifespan and not outlive my friends!" She paused before adding, "I feel like I've never been in charge of my own destiny, it was what Celestia wanted and for what, so she could pawn ruling Equestria off on me for when she retired?"

Spike was in a state of shock hearing what he heard from her. Ever since he had been hatched, Twilight had always adored Celestia and did whatever she wanted so that she wouldn't upset her. He gasped, "Twilight, how long have you felt this way?"

"It began to become clear when we cast Sombra back into the ether" Twilight stated, "but now that I look at things, I think everything dating back to when she ascended me has been part of a plot of hers. I almost wonder if I wasn't the chosen one because of my cutie mark." Twilight then began to cry, "Princess Celestia always emphasized how important friendship is and now she wants to take me away from them without even asking me if I wanted this or not!"

Spike suggested, "Twilight, I think you need to talk to Celestia about this. This is clearly bothering you and I have a feeling that if you do take over for her, you won't be happy."

"I don't think I would be." Twilight and Spike then began to head back in the direction of the other ponies and added, "Alright Spike, I'm nervous about this but I have a lot of things that I need to discuss with Celestia."

Once the two returned to the gathering of ponies Twilight approached Celestia and asked, "Princess Celestia, could we discuss something important," she looked towards Canterlot Castle and firmly added, "in private?"

Celestia replied, "Of course we can Twilight."

As the two were headed towards the castle, Twilight was leading the way. This shocked Celestia as this was so unlike Twilight when they interacted. Normally they walked side by side and there was something about the tone of Twilight's voice. She seemed different, different in a way that Celestia was unsure about. She didn't know if it was a matter of Twilight being firm in preparing to be a somewhat different leader than her or whether it was something else. Regardless of what it was, Celestia was concerned.

Once they arrived in the throne room Twilight was nervous but determined at the same time. Celestia headed to her throne and she asked, "Twilight, what is wrong? Something seems different about you."

Twilight began, "Princess Celestia, as you know I appreciate everything you have done for me from the moment I hatched Spike and you took me in as your protege but I really have to get something off of my chest."

Celestia's eyes grew wide in shock as this was not like the Twilight she always knew. She could tell that something was clearly going on and with the way she put so much emphasis on the word "have" that she may have done something to upset Twilight at one point. She asked, "Twilight, did I do something to upset you?"

Twilight was nervous but she had come too far to simply back out of telling her about her feelings. "Princess Celestia," Twilight began, "Like I said before, I appreciate everything you have ever done for me but I feel like I have never been in charge of my own destiny!"

Celestia asked, "What do you mean Twilight?"

"It involves me feeling like you have been doing nothing but getting me ready so you could pawn ruling Equestria off on me." Celestia's jaw dropped as Twilight continued, "You know what, I never asked to be an Alicorn! I never asked to be a princess! Looking back, I feel like you did that so you'd just have somepony waiting in the wings for when you decided to retire."

Celestia gasped, "Twilight, that wasn't my plan at all!"

Twilight continued, "I feel like you didn't even care. You never asked me if I wanted wings and royal status and now I feel like you don't even care how I am feeling." She raised her voice and continued, "And now here you are going to take me away from my friends just so you can retire!" She began to cry, "You always put so much emphasis on friendship but now you're taking me away from them and it is like you don't even care how this will make me feel!"

Celestia was a bit irked but she was even more shocked than anything else that Twilight was behaving like this. Twilight had always gone with the flow and did whatever she wanted. She was curious about what was really going on, "Twilight, why didn't you bring this up earlier? Why didn't you bring this up before I ascended you?"

Twilight continued to cry, "Because I didn't want to disappoint or upset you. Ever since I saw you raise the sun you were my hero but now that you're wanting to pawn this off on me, simply expecting me to happily do this, has caused me to realize that I shouldn't have basically worshiped you."

This was another thing that shocked Celestia. She knew that Twilight, unlike previous proteges, thought so highly of her that she did pretty much worship her. She was not really sure how to handle this but did know one thing, that the Twilight who idolized her was gone and had been replaced by a pony who was questioning herself over how she viewed her. She wasn't sure how to handle this and remained silent.

Twilight could tell that Celestia was in a state of shock and added, "Princess Celestia, I'm sorry if what I'm telling you is bothering you but I had to get this off of my chest! I finally realized that I can't be scared to disappoint you or upset you anymore." She raised her voice and finished, "I have to think about my own mental well being and being taken away from my friends and my school and being forced to do your duties would only hurt me."

Celestia then began to think about everything Twilight was telling her. She realized that all of it was tied into her friends and thought that maybe reminding Twilight of something would get her to reconsider, "Twilight, I said it would be all of you ruling."

Twilight countered, "But I would be the one sacrificing everything I love, everything. They'd still have their normal lives while I'd be up here doing your duties away from them!"

Celestia suggested, "Well they could move up here...."

Twilight cut her off, "Princess Celestia, they all have their own lives. Applejack has Sweet Apple Acres, Pinkie Pie has her job at Sugarcube Corner, Rarity has her boutiques, Fluttershy has her animal sanctuary and Rainbow Dash is a Wonderbolt. I can't tear them away from that and I doubt they'd want to give all that up."

Celestia stood there in silence as she realized that trying to sway Twilight into taking over for her was likely not going to happen. Celestia sighed in defeat, "Twilight, I know you're ready to take over for my sister and I but I know this isn't what you want so I won't retire."

Twilight developed a smile on her face, "Really? You're not going to retire?"

Celestia replied, "No, I'm not. Twilight, you have always meant the world to me and I have come to the realization that this isn't what you want." She paused before adding, "If remaining the Princess of Friendship and being head mare at your school is what will make you happy, who am I to take that away from you?"

Twilight's mood began to change upon hearing this but there was still one thing that was bothering her, her lifespan. She continued, "I'm glad you're not retiring but still, you extended my lifespan significantly without even thinking about me going to outlive my friends! I don't want that, I don't want to live for thousands of years!"

Celestia had a nervous look upon hearing this. She had ascended Twilight so that she could rule Equestria for a very long time yet here was Twilight not wanting to rule or live for thousands of years. Something then crossed her mind, perhaps Twilight would want to rule after all of her friends passed.

"Twilight," Celestia asked, "I know your friends are a big part of why you don't want this but what about after they pass? Would you be interested in ruling then?"

The very mention of her friends passing and then her ruling angered her, "Seriously, now you're just going to wait for my friends to die so you can pawn this off on me? Are you really that selfish that you'd think I'd want that?" Twilight then began to cry angrily, "My friends are everything to me and losing them will leave a void in me that can't be filled." She threw her hooves up in the air and screamed, "Ugh, I wish you would have told me about this before you ascended me. I don't want to live for thousands of years, I don't want to outlive my friends."

The very fact that Twilight was angry over this caused Celestia to become very nervous. It was at that moment that she realized that she should have told Twilight about what ascension would do. She wasn't sure what Twilight would think of this but decided to bring it up. "Twilight, for you to not live for thousands of years, you would have to be returned to being a unicorn."

Twilight's eyes grew wide as she asked, "Really? Is there a spell for that?"

Celestia was shocked by Twilight's reaction to her statement. She thought for sure that she would flat out reject losing her wings but it seemed like not only was Twilight open to it but seemed very interested in it. "Twilight," Celestia asked, "Are you wanting me to remove your wings?"

Without hesitation Twilight replied, "I am. If it means that I won't outlive my friends and have to live for thousands of years without them, I do."

This was something that Celestia never imagined would happen. Twilight was blessed with a very long life span and being guaranteed to rule Equestria yet here she was rejecting it. Celestia sighed in disappointment, "Twilight, when I ascended you I thought you were happy. I thought this was what you wanted."

Twilight replied, "I was at the time and I love being able to fly but if it means me having to live for many millennia without my friends, I don't want any part of it." She raised her voice and added, "I would much rather be a unicorn and not outlive my friends than always have a void that can't be filled for many millennia." She raised her voice further and added, "And if that was to mean I lose my royal status, so be it. My friends are more important than that."

Celestia knew for sure at that point that Twilight was truly serious about this. She knew that Twilight truly was the embodiment of friendship and that she would never be happy without them. She sighed, "Well I can do this. It is something I really wish I didn't have to do but for you, I will do it."

Twilight's eyes lit up as she exclaimed, "When can we do that? Can we do that now?"

Celestia begged, "Please reconsider this Twilight, I know when the time comes....."

Twilight cut her off, "What did I say about outliving my friends? I want no part of it!"

Celestia sighed in defeat, "Alright Twilight, yes we can."

Celestia had tears in her eyes as she flared up her horn and grabbed Twilight in her aura. Twilight was indeed the chosen one because of her cutie mark but Celestia did not want to see Twilight ultimately live unhappily for thousands of years so she put the right type of energy into her power to return Twilight to being a unicorn. Twilight became encircled in a bright ball of light and after five minutes, the ball popped and out of it emerged Twilight Sparkle as a powerful unicorn.

Twilight looked to her sides and noticed that no longer did she have wings. She rushed to Celestia, embraced her and exclaimed, "Thank you Princess Celestia, thank you! Now I won't outlive my friends!"

Celestia gave her a warm smile, "No you won't but just because you don't have wings anymore doesn't mean you're not the Princess of Friendship anymore.

Twilight was happy to hear this, "Thank you Princess Celestia, thank you. Now I can still run my school." She paused before adding, "I can't wait to tell my friends, I know they'll be so happy!"

Celestia gave her a nervous smile because she had a feeling that her friends would not be happy over this. She had a feeling that they would be saddened, especially Rainbow Dash since her and Twilight had been flying together more as of late. Despite knowing they likely wouldn't be she replied, "I'm sure they will be."

When the two returned to the courtyard everypony gasped in shock when they saw Twilight without her wings. Rainbow was the first to say something, "Twilight, what in Equestria happened to your wings?"

Fluttershy asked Celestia, "Did she do something to make you punish her?"

Celestia replied, "No she didn't."

Celestia then nudged Twilight causing her to reveal why this happened, "Girls, I asked her to take my wings away."

Rarity gasped, "Twilight darling, why would you do that? Now you won't live long enough to rule Equestria!"

Twilight responded, "Rarity, ruling Equestria is not what I wanted and the very thoughts of outliving all of you by thousands of years was too much for me to bear. Living life without you, especially one that long is something that I can't bear the thoughts of. I would rather pass with all of you than have a horrible void consuming me for thousands of years."

Spike would then speak up, "But Twilight, what now? What's going to happen to you and what's going to happen to the school?"

Before Twilight could reply Celestia responded, "Spike, nothing is going to change. She is still the Princess of Friendship and will continue to run her school."

Her friends weren't sure how to take realizing that Twilight would not rule Equestria and that she would not outlive them at first but then Applejack would speak up, "Well Ah for one think it is mighty selfless on her part." She approached Twilight and embraced her as she added, "Twilight, Ah was looking forward to you ruling Equestria but if this is what you want, Ah'm happy for you! You truly are the best friend anypony could ever have."

Her other friends were quick to agree but one would have his concerns, Spike. "Twilight, what's going to happen to me when you pass now? You'll pass long before I will now."

Twilight was unsure what to say as that was something he had never thought of but Celestia would give him a couple of options, "Well you could always be my royal advisor or you could move up to the Crystal Empire and be Cadence's royal advisor."

Compared to being with Twilight for the rest of his natural born days neither sounded appealing but he knew that with Twilight no longer being an Alicorn, that he would have to choose one or the other. After a minute of thinking he replied, "I am adored in the Crystal Empire so" he turned to Twilight and continued, "after you pass I think I'll go to the Crystal Empire."

Twilight replied, "I think that would be a wonderful option Spike, I know the crystal ponies will love that."

After that Twilight was seeming to want to go home, "Well ladies, what do you say we head on home?"

Pinkie exclaimed, "And we can throw a 'Twilight won't outlive us' party!"

Twilight exclaimed in return, "And that sounds wonderful Pinkie, let's get going!" She then turned to Celestia and asked, "So do you think you'll take in another protege?"

Celestia sadly replied, "I will eventually but I think I will hold off on that for now." She saw Twilight look back towards her friends and added, "Well I'll let you get going, I know you're wanting to get home and celebrate."

Twilight nodded and embraced Celestia, "I am but thank you so much! Not having to be without my friends is all I ever wanted."

Twilight then returned to her friends and they headed towards the train station. Celestia had a few tears running down her face knowing now that it would be her who would lose one of the ponies who meant the most to her, Princess Twilight Sparkle. She was indeed sad as she said to herself, "I know this is what she wanted but still, I can't bear the thoughts of losing her."