My Little Technology: Friendship is 404

by Darkswirl

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Spike, Comedy
Length: 10788

MLP-FIM with the use of technology over magic.

Every MLP-FIM episode rewritten where magic exists, but technology is used more commonly. Teen for language.

Twilight Sparkle is Celestia's top student- although only because her father works for the Royal Intelligence Agency. She could really care less about being pushed into the spotlight, but when Princess Celestia sends Twilight to Ponyville in an attempt to get her to make some friends and break away from technology... Well, like with any story, things don't always go as planned.

Published 2013-03-21 07:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-31 04:43:12 UTC

Mare In The Moon (Part One)

"And peace has been maintained in Equestria for generations since..." Twilight Sparkle finished, scrolling down a bit more on her kindle. "M17 Teleportal Device...I know I've heard of that somewhere...But where?"

My Little Pony, My Little Pony
Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahhh…

My Little Pony!

I used to wonder how I'd live without technology!

My Little Pony!

And I still do, 'cause you're all crazy!

Big adventu-

Pass.

Tons of-

Nope.

A beautiful heart~

All I need is my computer.

Faithful and strong!

That pretty much describes my computer.

Sharing kindness...

On the internet? Have you even used a computer? You know what, screw this. If you need me, I'll be on FimFiction shipping Applejack with Rainbow Dash.

WHAT?!

Twilight Sparkle then facehoofed after realizing she had the power of the internet at her hooftips. After opening her hooftop, she quickly started up a Hoofle search for information on the M17 Teleportal Device.

"Ah, Wikipedia...What would anypony ever do without you?" Twilight Sparkle mused as the page finally loaded and she began to read aloud. "The M17 Teleportal is the name of the fabled electromagnetical rift device that encloses the space between two points in order to offer quick travel between the points. The M17 Teleportal Device was said to be used by the eldest of the royal pony sisters one thousand years ago when she banished her evil younger sister to the moon. No other records of this device exist except in the 763 A.B. book, Myths and Legends by William ShakeSpearAngrilyAtThoseTwoYutesOnHisLawn."

Being used to following bread crumbs on the internet in order to find exactly what she needed, Twilight Sparkle returned to Hoofle and used her magic to press the keys required to look up what she needed.

"Aha!" She exclaimed after hitting the enter key. "Myths and Legends...Twenty-Four bits and ninety-nine seeds on Everfree.com?!"

Slamming her hooftop shut grumpily and placing it in her saddlebag, Twilight Sparkle stormed off towards the library instead...

"Twilight Sparkle, to the throne room, please. Twilight Sparkle, to the throne room, please." the castle's intercom blared, interrupting a heated debate between Twilight Sparkle, who argued the benefits of having all books made electronic rather than hardcopy, and the Royal Librarian- who countered her argument, saying that it would only take one careless Unicorn to accidentally wipe the entire system clean.

Thankful to be rid of that older Unicorn mare who obviously had no idea what she was talking about, Twilight Sparkle trotted proudly down the halls towards the throne room, where undoubtedly her teacher sat.

It was when she was finally at the giant oak doors, however, that Twilight ground to a halt.

What the hay did she call me in for? Twilight wondered before cautiously nudging the doors open and stepping inside.

About a yard or two from where she stood, Princess Celestia sat diligently on her throne. Upon sighting her student, the Princess of the Sun gave a slight nod in her direction- beckoning her over.

"P-Princess Celestia." Twilight Sparkle stuttered and bowed.

"Arise, my faithful student. I have called you here and even halted Day Court so that I may speak privately with you on such an important matter."

"An important matter? Is Equestria at war? Did Nightmare Moon return and now I have to defeat her single hoofedly in order to protect Equestria from a powerful threat, using cliche godmode-like items? ...Shining Armor broke into the kitchen again, didn't he?" Twilight Sparkle questioned.

"While the latter is true, that is not what I have called you for. It has come to my attention that you are lacking in your studies, and I believe I know what the cause is." Princess Celestia began, firmly, as she levitated Twilight's hooftop from her saddlebags. "I have reports from several ponies, Royal Guards, mostly, that this is what is occupying all of your time. I expected better of you, Twilight Sparkle."

Crushing the electronic device in her magical grasp, much to Twilight's sheer horror, Celestia glowered at her student before continuing. "As my personal student, your duty is to study of every type of magic imaginable and practice it, so long as it does not break any laws."

"But Princess," Twilight Sparkle whined in desperation. "I WAS learning about magic! The...Uh...The Magic of Gathering!"

Twilight's attempts to reinform her teacher were only met with an unamused glower.

"I have an assignment for you, Twilight, and I pray that you will take this study seriously. I am sending you to a country town by the name of Ponyville. It is a town with little to no electricity- or at least no electricity being used for entertainment such as this horrid device." Princess Celestia explained, levitating the chunks of plastic and computer processing. "There, you will be overseeing the preparations for this year's Summer Sun Celebration- which will happen tomorrow -in addition to making some real, breathing friends."

"Ponyville? Seriously? Who names these towns?" Twilight Sparkle mumbled grumpily.

"You will leave for Ponyville in a sky chariot immediately. And Twilight? If I catch you with another one of these devices, or anything like it, while you are away, me crushing it will be the least of your problems."

Swallowing hard in slight fear, Twilight Sparkle took that as her official dismissal and hightailed it out of the throne room, heading towards her room to pack.

The land below was a beautiful scene of rolling hills and swirling clouds. A few birds flew by, squawking their greeting calls before passing the golden chariot.

All in all, it was a beautiful sight, and a beautiful day.

"I can't fucking believe this." Twilight Sparkle said after riding the chariot in silence for at least a half hour.

"Oh, relax, Twilight. We have backups back at the castle of all your precious clop." Spike said in slight disgust.

"It's not that, Spike, it's the fact that she's sending me away from Canterlot to set up a giant fucking party that boosts her ego as "Supreme Ruler"! I can't fucking stand her sometimes. What the hay did she even see in me?"

"Definitely not an arrogant, snobby bitch..." Spike mumbled, receiving a hoof to the back of his head.

"We're almost there. The sooner we can land and I can find a shop, the better. 'Oh, Twilight, listen to me because I am the most perfect pony ever to have lived! Ponyville doesn't have electricity!'. Bullshit. I'd be surprised if I didn't find a computer store."

Twilight Sparkle continued to glare out of the side of the chariot, staring down at the passing land and clouds below as the Pegasus team guiding the chariot began their descent.

As the golden chariot landed near the town center and Twilight got off, she and Spike immediately made a beeline for the Ponyville Central Library, where she was to be staying.

It was Twilight's understanding that the previous Librarian had been fired for stealing new editions for herself, and Twilight had been given the space while they searched for a new pony to fill the position.

Twilight was almost to the door when a pink pony suddenly shot past her. The only reason Twilight realized it was even a pony at all was because it stopped in midair before opening the door to the library and then continued to shoot inside.

"Great. Not even here a minute and I already have company. Spike, get the tranquilizer out of my bags." Twilight ordered with a sigh.

"Tranquilizer? Celestia took that thing from you years ago..."

"...Oh yea...Alright, looks like we'll have to do this the old fashioned way."

"Why? It is a public library, after all, Twilight." Spike commented as he followed the purple pony to the door.

"Well, the library is closed for today."

"It's two o'clock, on a Tuesday."

"Closed!" Twilight Sparkle repeated as they reached the door.

Forcing the door open, Twilight Sparkle was met with a face full of confetti as a loud 'boom' sounded from in front of her. The impact sent her flying backwards and tumbling in the dirt before she finally came to a rest.

"Heh, oops." a nervous, yet cheerful, voice sounded from i front of the purple unicorn. "Guess I put too much powder in it, this time. Anyway, hi! My name's Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you! Were you surprised, were you, were you? Huh huh huh?"

"Fuck that hurt!" Twilight Sparkle groaned, rolling over and getting back to her hooves.

"My, such foul language! And to think she came from Canterlot- Celestia's star student!" a white Unicorn with an elegantly styled mane whispered.

Twilight immediately disliked her.

"What the hell is this supposed to be? Do you even have a permit for that thing?" Twilight Sparkle began, motioning at the piles of confetti around her and the balloons inside before pointing her hoof at Pinkie's Party Cannon.

"This is a surprise party, silly filly! I heard that you were coming and I didn't know you and if I didn't know you that meant you were new to Ponyville and if you're new to Ponyville then you must not have any friends and if you don't have any friends then you must be so sad and that just made me so sad and so I planned a party and invited everypony in town so that you could have some friends and then you wouldn't be so sad anymore!" Pinkie Pie explained hurriedly in one giant breath.

"...Alright, now would somepony who's not jacked up on cocaine explain to me what's going on?" Twilight asked.

Giving a sigh, the white unicorn from before took a few steps forward. "Pinkie Pie planned a party for you so that you would feel welcomed in Ponyville, but obviously that hasn't gone over too well." she explained, rolling her eyes and flipping her hair back before beginning to disperse with the rest of the gathered ponies.

Before long, all that remained were Pinkie Pie, Spike, an orange Earth Pony with a blonde mane hidden under a cliche cowpony hat, and Twilight Sparkle herself.

"Well, howdy there, Miss Twilight." the orange pony said warmly, extending her hoof. "Not how ah expected this party tuh go over, but at least Pinkie ain't havin' a fit now. Name's Applejack, an' I run Sweet Apple Acres with mah brother, Big MacIntosh, mah little sister, Apple Bloom, an' Granny Smith. Our stall's on the far end o' the street on market days, so be sure tuh keep an eye out fer us if'n ya want some quality apples!" Applejack said after gripping Twilight's hoof and shaking it firmly.

"Don't bother. I don't plan on staying here long, anyways."

As the cowpony trotted away, oblivious to Twilight's apparent rudeness, Twilight turned to face the only other pony remaining.

"So, did'ja make any new friends? Did you have fun, huh, huh, huh?" Pinkie Pie asked, bouncing around excitedly.

"Sweet Celestia," Twilight began rudely as she pushed open the door to the library. "What are you, the town crack whore, or something?"

Pinkie Pie gave a sort of snort-giggle as she bounced in after the purple Unicorn. "What's a crack whore? Is it a kind of dessert? Oh, I just love desserts! But not deserts! I hate deserts! They're so dry and big and too hot and nopony can ever have fun in a desert! Which is weird, 'cause lots and lots of ponies can have fun at the beach, which is kind of like a desert except there's lots of water nearby-"

Pinkie Pie's voice was cut off for the most part as Twilight Sparkle slammed the door in her face, leaving her to continue rambling on outside.

"Spike, take a letter to Princess Celestia." Twilight said as she trotted over to the numerous bookshelves.

"Dear Princess Celestia...I regret to inform you that your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, has recently murdered an annoying pink earth pony who won't shut the hell up about desserts and deserts, along with setting the entire town ablaze. Ponyville remains no longer, and I am writing you from a barren hillside nearby as I prepare to end my meaningless life. Sincerely, a crazy pony who also once inhabited Ponyville- a town notorious for insane ponies."

Spike stared at Twilight in an unamused manner for a good three seconds before he began to scribble down a letter of his own.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Spike, here, writing to inform you that Twilight is having a rough time settling in. She was hit in the chest with a ball of confetti fired from a canon, which I believe the pony owning it does not have a permit for, upon arriving and forced the library full of ponies that had waited there to greet her warmly back onto the street. She's looking through the shelves right now, but I imagine she's going to close the library down for the rest of the day, if not the whole time she's here.

Your faithful student's assistant,

Spike

Taking in a huge breath of air, the little dragon suddenly spurt out a jet of green flame that enveloped the letter and magically transported it to the Princess.

"Every single book in this library is out of date by at least ten years." Twilight Sparkle said calmly as she turned to face Spike, a small smile played out across her face.

"Oh no...I know that look..." Spike said uneasily.

"Spike, take a letter."

"But I just sent one!"

"I don't give a fuck."

Clearing her throat, Twilight Sparkle began. "Dear Princess Celestia. Since I no longer have any of my technological devices, and am forbidden from acquiring new ones, I will be including another scroll detailing the contents of the Ponyville Central Library- pointing out which books are incredibly out of date, and therefore giving ponies horribly inaccurate information. As part of your plan to properly educate Equestria, I feel you would be doing this town a favor. I would have simply used my hooftop to order all of the books online but, since I am unable to do that now, I am instead choosing to go through you. Have a fabulous rest of the day, Princess."

Smirking smugly as Spike sent the letter away, Twilight turned to begin having Spike write down the names of the needed literature.

Not soon after they began, the purple and green dragon let out a belch- announcing the arrival of the Princess's response.

"Dear Twilight, I would be more than happy to restock the Ponyville Central Library. In addition to settling our finances, I have also taken the liberty of writing down the names, locations, and occupations of the ponies within Ponyville that you will need to personally meet with in order to ensure that the Summer Sun Celebration goes as planned. Enjoy. Your loyal teacher, Princess Celestia." Spike read aloud.

After finishing the letter, Spike let out another burp, producing a long parchment that rolled open, showing that it was several feet long.

"That bitch." Twilight groaned.

"Alright, who's next on the list?" Twilight asked with a sigh as Spike shifted into a more comfortable position on her back.

They had been all over Ponyville for the remainder of the day, talking to every pony on the list about what they were doing for the celebration and how it was coming along.

"There are only five names left." Spike said encouragingly as he noticed the sun beginning to touch the mountaintops of Canterlot. "Rainbow Dash, a light-blue Pegasus mare with a rainbow colored mane who's supposed to be preforming with some other Pegasi in an aerial show. She lives above Ponyville in the highest cloud house, just before Cloudsdale."

Groaning at the distance she would have to travel in order to find the mare, in addition to the magic she'd have to use in order to get into the air in the first place, Twilight Sparkle wanted nothing more than to simply fall asleep right then and there.

"And then there's Pinkie Pie, a pink Earth Pony with a dark pink mane who's helping with the entertainment. She lives at Sugarcube Corner. Next, we have Rarity; a white coated Unicorn with a purple mane who will be making costumes for the play, as well as decorating the entire town. She lives where she works: Carousel Boutique. Then, there's a yellow Pegasus with a light-pink mane ho lives on the edge of the Everfree Forest, and she'll be letting her trained pet birds announce Princess Celestia's arrival."

"Sounds childish. And the last pony?"

"An orange Earth Pony named Applejack, who lives on her family's farm; Sweet Apple Acres. She'll be the main one handling all the food related stuff for the celebration."

"Great. I get to deal with a crack whore, a hillbilly, an animal right's activist, a 'high and mighty' dressmaker, and an athlete who probably thinks she's 'all that'."

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to be a bit nicer."

"...You're right, Spike. I'm sorry, it's just that today has been incredibly long, boring, and tiring. Right now, I just want to get these ponies done with so I can go to sleep and then wake up back in Canterlot." Twilight said with a sigh.

"Then we should probably head to Sugar Cube Corner, first, seeing as it's the closest."

"And deal with that hyper active crack addict? No way. She's last on the list. Where's Carousel Boutique?"

"Take a guess." Spike said flatly, pointing his claw over Twilight's head and towards the tall, two story building that sported three carousal'd pony mannequins.

"You know, it's kind of funny." Twilight said boredly as the pair approached the shop.

"What is?"

"The fact that this snobby dressmaker has carousal'd ponies in her architecture, considering that carousaling used to be a medieval torture technique put in place by the nobles."

"Only you would know that, Twilight." Spike said with a sigh.

"Maybe, but it just goes to show how uneducated this place is. Thank Celestia's juicy flank I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Whoa, I really didn't need an excerpt from one of your clopfics, Twi'!" Spike said in disgust, opting to walk the rest of the way and hopping off the Unicorn's back.

With a roll of her eyes, Twilight Sparkle trotted forward and knocked on the door to the building.

Not a moment after she had, a cheerful, sing-song voice replied with an earnest "Coming!", and the door opened after that.

"Oh. It's you." The white Unicorn answered flatly as she took in the sight of the snobby purple Unicorn from before.

"Rarity, I presume?" Twilight questioned boredly, to which Rarity nodded curtly.

"Is there something I can assist you with? I don't really take you for one to be wearing dresses, seeing as how you never came prepared to the last six Grand Galloping Gala's." Rarity quipped, batting her eyelids with a smug smirk.

"Oh, yea. I never got dressed up because I didn't want to miss out on seeing you faceplant into the punch bowl again." Twilight replied cheerfully.

Rarity glared and blushed furiously; a slight growl making itself known in her throat as she went to address the Unicorn once more. "Is there something I can help you with, today, Miss Sparkle?"

"One of the reasons I'm here is to check up on the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. If I understand correctly, you're dressing up foals and having them dance around on a stage for the Princess?"

Rarity snorted and promptly took a step backwards; back into her home and workplace. "I'll have you know I was one of those foals, once, Miss Sparkle. And the costumes are coming along quite fine."

And with that, the white Unicorn slammed the door in Twilight's snout- effectively announcing an end to their conversation and leaving the purple Unicorn to stand in the dry dirt that was the pathway back into town.

"Well, that went over well..." Spike mumbled.

"I think she broke my nose..." Twilight Sparkle announced sadly as she gently rubbed her aching snout; awkwardly walking along back out of town once more and towards the north-east part of Ponyville.

"You know, for a farming family, Applejack didn't name that many ponies." Spike stated curiously.

"Good. Less bullshit to put up with. How much farther until we're there?"

"'Till yer where? If'n yer lost, Ah c'n point ya anywhere yer heart desires." a familiar country voice offered helpfully.

"Can you tell me which way to hell?" Twilight Sparkle grumbled darkly.

"What was that?"

"She said we were actually looking for you!" Spike interrupted quickly, hoping to avoid yet another conflict- if even minor. "Princess Celestia sent Twilight here to oversee preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. You and your family are in charge of food, right?"

"As sure as Ah am orange!" Applejack replied happily, trotting forward from her leaning position against a tree.

"You'd look better black and blue..." Twilight offered silently from behind Spike, who jabbed her with his elbow before turning back to Applejack.

"Don't mind her," he started. "She's just upset because she's bored. So, I trust you and your family have everything squared away for the celebration?"

"Ya c'n always count on us Apples, li'l scaly critter! Why, we may be a small family, but that jus' means we work twice as hard!"" Applejack replied proudly.

"Good. Since that's settled, we'll just be on our way-" Twilight began happily, for once, before she was interrupted.

"Hey, sis! Whose that yer talkin' to?" A yellow-green little filly with a giant red bow shouted excitedly as she bounded out of the nearby bushes and began circling Twilight.

"This farm is pretty big." Twilight whispered to Spike. "It would take the authorities some time before they could find any bodies."

With a deep sigh, Spike shook his head softly as Applejack replied to her little sister. "Well, this 'ere is Miss Twilight Sparkle; Celestia's number one student! Apple Bloom, y'all best be usin' yer manners around 'er; don't want you tuh leave a bad impression on th' Princess fer when 'er student gets back, ya hear?"

"Oh, wow! That must mean yer like, royalty, or somethin'! Right?!" Apple Bloom shouted excitedly, bouncing round the purple unicorn.

As Twilight began imagining all of the things she would do and be able to do if she was royalty with a terrifying grin, Spike quickly diverted the topic back onto something more relevant before Twilight could have a chance to utter a crafty reply and scar a small child for life.

"Actually, we're here to oversee preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. Applejack said she's got it covered, so we'll just be leaving now."

As the little dragon turned to leave, snapping Twilight from her evil thoughts, a small sniffle could be heard behind the pair.

"Aren't ya gonna stay fer brunch?" Apple Bloom asked with wide, teary eyes as a look of unimaginable horror crept onto Twilight's snout.

"Spiiiiiiiiike!" Twilight moaned in pain as the pair dragged themselves along the dirt road out of town and towards the Everfree Forest. "Spiiiiiiike, I think they poisoned the pies!"

Meanwhile, beside the purple unicorn writhing in agony, Spike was walking awkwardly with a distorted belly and belching every few seconds. "Too... Much... Pie... Sugar... Overdose..."

In the distance sat a small, hobbit-looking cottage with a yellow and pink head peering out the window. After the little dragon collapsed into a spasming heap of scales, the head disappeared and came rushing out of the house attached to the body of a yellow Pegasus with a pink mane.

"Oh, my, you're sick! Q-Quick, I'll get you inside and then get you both some medicine!" the small-framed pony began stammering as she helped Twilight to her feet and set Spike on her back - guiding both of them back inside her cottage slowly.

When they arrived, Spike promptly fell face first into the floor and Twilight collapsed onto the couch, moaning in pain.

"I'll go get you some medicine, you must've eaten something horrible!" the Pegasus said in worry before dashing off into the garden and leaving the pair groaning in her living room.

Not long after she left, and Twilight began closing her eyes did she feel something pelt her in the forehead.

Her eyes flicking opened revealed a stern looking rabbit with crossed arms and a glare that could stun mice. The rabbit stomped its foot impatiently while pointing at Twilight, then the floor, then itself, then the couch.

In response, Twilight threw up on the rabbit, which caused him to cry out in fear and disgust and begin flailing his little paws as he tried to escape and get himself clean.

"Angel Bunny, what's wrong?" the Pegasus asked softly as she returned with two buckets and a jar of some sticky looking syrup.

Upon seeing her beloved animal covered in vomit, the mare held her snout tightly to block out the smell and keep her own lunch within her belly.

She hurriedly set the buckets in front of her guests and slowly but gently forced the ipecac syrup down their throats before stepping back.

The baby dragon was the first to give way, his bucket nearly filling after a few seconds as green flames began spurting from the sides of his mouth until he stopped vomiting. Now, however, his eyes were wide in fear as he whispered "Oh shit.".

Twilight was next, her bucket filling up more slowly. The Unicorn groaned weakly and lay limp on the couch for a moment or two before the Pegasus hurried off outside with the buckets.

A furious looking, soaking-wet-but-clean-of-vomit looking rabbit came stomping inside the house as soon as the yellow mare had exited. It stormed its way up to the still groaning Unicorn and threw another carrot at her stupid pony head in rebuttal for the previous attack, to which Twilight responded with a vomit artillery strike - leaving her foe defeated once more and flailing yet again.

Now feeling a lot better than before, Twilight sat up on the couch and took in her surroundings slowly.

Her head spun, but she could clearly make out the defeated rabbit rolling around on the floor, Spike with darting, terror-filled eyes, and the yellow Pegasus now returning without the buckets.

"A-Are you feeling any better? D-Do I need to get more buckets? P-Please stop throwing up on Angel..." the mare whimpered shyly.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Twilight replied groggily. "Thanks, for whatever you did. I take it you're Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy simply nodded once, curtly, and avoided making eye contact.

After a moment or two of awkward silence, Twilight spoke up. "Are... Are you alright?"

"Y-Yes... I'm just not used t-to having guests, is all..."

"Oh. Well, I'm just here to oversee preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. If you can just give me a demonstration of your birds, I'll be out of your mane in-" Twilight began calmly, surprised and relieved at how quick this would be, until Fluttershy tackled her and held her cheeks tightly.

"NO YOU CAN'T SEE THEM THEY'RE NOT READY EVERYTHING HAS TO BE PERFECT AND THEY'RE NOT READY COME BACK LATER MAYBE THEY'LL BE READY THEN BYE." Fluttershy screamed before hyperventilating and pushing Twilight and Spike outside, slamming the door in the Unicorn's face.

"Fuck, my nose!"

"Just Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie left. Still want to do Pinkie last?" Spike said uneasily as the pair entered town once more.

"Yes, Spike. Dealing with a hyperactive blabbermouth who shoots confetti is the last thing on my list. Now, where did Princess Celestia say Rainbow Dash lived?"

"Why do you want to know where I live? Are you with the Wonderbolts? Are you here to recruit me? Wait, no you're not; you don't have wings, but you're from Canterlot, aren't you? So, maybe?" Rainbow Dash began excitedly as she dropped down from her cloud and pressed her face close to Twilights'.

"Hey, personal space Miss LGBT." Twilight replied, pushing Rainbow Dash back a few steps.

"Ugh! I'm not gay! Why does everypony keep thinking that?!"

"Really? You really have no idea?" Twilight said, unamusedly.

"No, seriously! Tell me!"

The purple Unicorn and the obviously-not-gay-yet-flamboyant Pegasus stood staring at each other for a few seconds before Twilight cleared her throat. "I'm here to see how your performance is coming along for the Summer Sun Celebration."

"So you are with the Wonderbolts! Sweet!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, celebrating with a fist pump before soaring up into the sky. "Watch this, and you'll see how I'm doing!"

Twilight raised an eyebrow curiously before the blur Pegasus became a blur of colors soaring around in the sky, forming words that lasted for a second before fading and didn't last in Twilight's mind.

When the aerial ace landed, she was met with a stunned expression adorning the Unicorn's face.

"...T-That was incredible, I mean, I couldn't really make out the words, but still!" Twilight stammered as she fed Rainbow's ego.

"Yeah, I am pretty fast, aren't I?"

"I think you should slow down a bit."

"...Say again?"

"I said, I think you should slow down a bit, though." Twilight noted. "While your speed was impressive, the magic at the end of your tail that gives off that trail you leave behind only radiates off for about a foot. And since you're already gone from that spot in less than a second, nopony will have time to be able to read what you wrote in the sky."

Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to yell at the purple Unicorn for daring to tell her how to fly, and for telling her to slow down, but no words came out.

Her heart was angry, but her mind knew Twilight was right.

Instead of continuing the conversation, the Pegasus flew off grumpily, leaving Twilight and Spike following the rainbow trail with their eyes.

"I don't think she took that well." Spike said a bit sadly.

"She'll get over it. Anyway, who's next?"

"You sure you want to know?"

"Oh, dear, sweet Celestia..." Twilight muttered as she turned to view Sugarcube Corner.

The building may have looked sweet and innocent, complete with a cupcake topping the roof, but Twilight Sparkle knew that it housed one of the most sinister beings in all of Equestria and served as her wicked lair. Her point was proven as a thundercloud went off in the distance, but that turned out to be just Rainbow Dash venting.

Giving a nervous gulp, Twilight Sparkle held her ground.

"Come on, Twilight. This is the last thing on the list and then you can sleep until tomorrow night."

"I fear no pony. But that thing... It scares me." Twilight whimpered softly.

"Oh, come on, Twilight! You know what? Fine; I'll go in and check on the preparations. You can stay out here and be a little scaredy cat." Spike said with a huff as he stormed off into the store, the soft jingle of the doorbell sounding as it opened to welcome the foolish dragon into its' waiting belly.

"Valete, nobilis draco..." Twilight whispered calmly before galloping off excitedly towards the library - and her bed.

"Zzz..."

"Twilight? Are you home? Pinkie gave me some awesome cupcakes, and I thought you might- oh." Spike said as he climbed the stairs to see Twilight Sparkle sprawled out in her bed, snoring peacefully with her pillow on the bookshelf and blanket stuck in the window, somehow.

Spike smiled a small little smile before leaving the box of cupcakes on the nightstand and making his way back downstairs, where he sat at the living room/main library floor table and unfurled a scroll; dipping his quill in a pot of ink after lighting a lantern to fight back the night.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Twilight is fitting in rather well so far. The preparations are all accounted for, except possibly for the bird choir (but really, how important is that, anyway, considering you'll have trumpet blowers?). Turns out there is a computer shop in town, but I managed to steer her clear of it the entire day. I can't quite place my claw on it, but somehow I think this place will turn out to be good for Twilight and I. I can see her making friends fast, and it will turn out for the better. See you tomorrow night.

Your faithful students' assistant,

Spike

P.S. SORRY FOR PUKING ON YOU

Mare In The Moon (Part Two)

"Dear Spike," Princess Celestia began as she paused to take a sip of her morning tea. "Honestly, I must thank you for that little incident yesterday. It got me out of a meeting filled with snobby nobles who wanted nothing more than for me to lower taxes on them and instead tax the hay out of the lower class, who are barely managing to get by as it is. I'm quite pleased that Twilight is doing so well, and truly hope she will take my assignment to heart. Obvious to you, this is to be more than just a simple "go and make sure everything goes as planned" assignment. I do not, however, think you truly understand how important it is that Twilight Sparkle make some true, breathing friends. My chariot will arrive at seven o'clock so that the festivities may begin in time for the finale. I trust everything will be ready for my arrival, but do not fret if it isn't. Princess Celestia of Equestria."

As the yellow aura surrounding the Alicorn's horn faded from the quill, Princess Celestia rolled up the scroll and sent it on its merry way towards Ponyville as she took her final sip of tea; placing the cup down on the table in front of her.

Although she had finished her breakfast, Princess Celestia did not rise from her seat.

The guards posted at the doors were not suspicious.

It was a common occurrence for their Princess, that after every meal spent in the dining hall Princess Celestia would simply stare off into the distance for a few minutes, unmoving.

It seemed to be for no reason to her guards, but Celestia knew exactly what she was doing.

Her eyes were always firmly glued onto the dusty old seat at the far end of the table, completely opposite of her.

It was a seat that she had ordered none to touch, and nearly had a maid banished for attempting to clean it, once.

Celestia gave a small, sad sigh before rising to her hooves.

"Soon..." she whispered sadly. "Hopefully..."

My Little Pony, My Little Pony
Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahhh…

My Little Pony!

I used to wonder how I'd live without technology!

My Little Pony!

And I still do, 'cause you're all crazy!

Big adventu-

Pass.

Tons of-

Nope.

A beautiful heart~

All I need is my computer.

Faithful and strong!

That pretty much describes my computer.

Sharing kindness...

On the internet? Have you even used a computer? You know what, screw this. If you need me, I'll be on FimFiction shipping Applejack with Rainbow Dash.

WHAT?!

"Twilight! Hey, Twilight!" Spike hollered, jumping up and down on the sleeping Unicorn.

Twilight did not stir, and simply continued snoring loudly as Spike grew more and more furious.

"Twilight, get up! It's past noon, for Celestia's sake!"

"Neeeh... Five more minutes..." Twilight groaned as she rolled over, causing Spike to lose his balance and tumble off of the bed. He landed on the floor with a thud and rubbed the back of his head softly before standing again.

"If you don't get up, I'll get Pinkie Pie to wake you up." he threatened.

The purple Unicorn didn't budge, even when faced with the unrelenting horror of facing a demon.

Giving a slight growl of frustration, Spike stormed off and down the stairs, slamming the door on his way out as he set off to keep his promise.

After a moment or two of peaceful silence, a little purple nose poked itself out from under the covers and gave a sniff of the surrounding air.

When all was determined to be well, an excited grin crept onto the snout.

"Hey, Pinkie Pie." Spike said happily as he pushed open the door to Sugarcube Corner, taking in the pleasant sound of the bell chime, along with the delicious aroma of baked pastries.

"Can't talk." Pinkie Pie replied hurriedly as she zoomed past the little dragon, barely a blur in his eyes.

"So much to do."

Zoom.

"So many things."

Zoom.

"To set up."

Zoom.

True enough, Pinkie Pie did have quite a lot to do, as she zoomed around the building setting up tables and trays full of pastries. The after party was meant to be hosted at the confection shop, and Pinkie Pie was running out of time to get everything ready.

"Oh, well, can I borrow some pepper?" Spike implored as he did his best to stay out of the pink mare's path. "Twilight refuses to get out of bed, again."

"Sure!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she zoomed past once more to set up a row of chairs.

"In the kitchen!"

Zoom.

"Above the oven!"

Zoom.

"For the Chèvres!"

Zoom.

Spike simply gave a little nod of thanks as he hurried off through the store and into the kitchen; claiming the pepper grinder before exiting through the back door as to not have any possibility of getting into Pinkie Pie's way.

Although Twilight being awake certainly was important, considering how far behind Pinkie Pie appeared to be, Spike decided that he should check up on the other ponies and do Twilight's job of making sure they were all prepared, as well.

Although there was no legal penalty for doing such, and Princess Celestia herself most likely would not be offended, to disappoint a princess isn't exactly good for your social standing.

"I wonder who's closest..." Spike thought to himself as he recalled a map of Ponyville in his head. "Fluttershy's house is on the edge of town, but she might be at the town hall, already... Rainbow Dash would most likely be in the sky all day, anyway... The farm is on the other side of town... So that just leaves Rarity!"

With his little dragon heart thumping in his chest, Spike nearly dropped the pepper shaker as he scampered off towards the town hall.

"Oh, Spike!" Fluttershy exclaimed in hope as the little dragon came bursting excitedly into the town hall. "Just the dragon I needed to see; my birds won't sit still, and I can't get them to behave!"

"SorryFluttershynotimebusyscheduleandwhatnotyouunderstanddon'tyou?" Spike replied as he tore past the sheepish pegasus. Soon, he was in the center of the room, standing just behind a godly-looking white unicorn with a regal purple-blue mane that shined and gleamed as her head turned to view the ceiling, which was full of banners and streamers and all sorts of decorations. Spike was awestruck at her beauty as her form glowed as if enshrouded with perfection itself.

"Ugh, no no no!" Rarity exclaimed. "How will the spotlight shine on the balcony if it's at ground level?! Put it on the top floor!"

Spike shook his eyes clear as a pony rolled away a large spotlight form the other side of Rarity, and the glow disappeared. "H-Hey, Rarity." He began as he flicked his hands towards her in a pistol-like motion.

"Hrm? Oh, hello, Spike... Is that pepper...?" Rarity inquired as she turned her head to the purple dragon, who looked at his hands before hiding them behind his back with an embarrassed grin.

"Uh, y-yeah. Twilight won't get out of bed."

"Ugh, the nerve of some ponies." Rarity growled. "It's not like we're setting up a big celebration for our very own princess, or anything. No, Twilight, go ahead and sleep the day away! Is there something you needed, Spike? I'm very busy."

Spike swallowed hard in guilt at distracting Rarity as he stood through her verbal bashing of Twilight, before shaking his head. "S-Sorry, just wanted to see how you were doing, is all."

"Thank you, Spike, but perhaps you have more important things to be doing, like waking up Twilight?" Rarity hinted with a small, forgiving smile.

"You'd think the student to the princess of the sun would know to get up at a reasonable hour." she grumbled under her breath before turning back to her tasks and leaving the dragon to scurry off once more.

"Spike, c-can you please-" Fluttershy began as Spike passed her, ignoring her pleas and leaving her with a frown as she squeaked in fear at the feeling of birdshit plopping onto her head.

"Twilight" Spike called from the front door as he shut it behind him; pepper shaker in hand. "Are you up?"

Spike walked through the silence as he ascended the stairs to the top floor until Twilight's bed was in view; a pony-sized lump curled up under the blankets.

"This is your last chance." Spike warned with a grin as he climbed up onto the bed with his pepper shaker poised. When he received no response, he began snickering as he ground pepper out of the tube and onto the pillow near Twilight's head.

After a few moments with a lack of any sneezing or enraged Twilight-ness, Spike furrowed his scaly brow and pulled back the covers to reveal a clump of pillows molded into a pony's shape.

"SURPRISE, MOTHERBUCKER!" Twilight shouted through a megaphone from behind Spike, as he screamed profanity in fear and tumbled off of the bed.

"CELESTIA, DAMN IT! WHAT THE FUCK, TWILIGHT?!" Spike shouted back at a laughing Twilight as he angrily pulled a blanket off of his head.

"Oh, calm down, Spike. Your ear drums will heal, eventually." Twilight explained with a roll of her eyes, before mumbling to herself under her breath. "No zey von't."

"You got out of bed as soon as I left, didn't you?" Spike groaned as he glared at the purple unicorn who, with a smug smirk, simply nodded and turned to descend the stairs.

"Follow me, Spike. I have something to show you." Twilight ordered as she led the way into the basement of the library.

"This isn't going to turn out like that weird clopfic you wrote, is it?" Spike asked, worriedly, as he noticed the lack of lights.

His fear was soon put to rest as Twilight flicked on the basement lights. "Don't be gross, Spike. Look what I found last night!" Twilight explained as she swept her hoof around the room to reveal rows and rows of dusty computer monitors and towers.

"Celestia is going to murder you. Why are all of these things here?" Spike asked with a groan as he held his head in his hand.

"These are from the first line of computers ever put out. All libraries and schools got them first, but it looks like this library was too small to ever do anything with them, so they've just been sitting here for years." Twilight explained with a happy sigh. "Most of the parts are probably bad, by now, and we'd still need to get internet lines before we could do anything with them, but just think: This old backwater town could be a bustling city in no time! The Apples could open a shipping department and send their produce all over Equestria, Rarity could get more inspiration for her stupid fucking dresses, Fluttershy could... I don't know, look at zoophilia, or something. The possibilities are endless!"

"Now who's being disgusting... Besides, how are you going to pay for getting all those internet lines installed around the entire town?" Spike said as he crossed his arms and shifted his weight to one side. "Your food and housing upkeep are paid for by the Princess herself. You have, like, thirty-two bits to your name."

"Shhhh, Spike." Twilight whispered as she rudely pressed her hoof to the dragon's mouth. "Shhhh... This library still has all the cables already installed; it's just a matter of sorting the good computers from the bad. And I have a big plan for getting this backwater town internet; just you wait..."

"Well, that plan is going to have to wait, because it's already six o'clock, and ponies are gathering up for the Summer Sun Celebration. Celestia is going to be pissed at you if you're not even there."

"Spike, what did I just say about shushing? I have a plan, dork; you go and have fun at the party. I'll be there before Princess Celestia can even wonder if I was gone..."

"Of course she doesn't even bother to show up!" Rarity exclaimed in anger as she tromped around in circles. "Protégé to Princess Celestia herself, and she can't even be bothered to attend the Summer Sun Celebration when she's in town for this very reason! What is this country coming to?!"

"Calm down, Rarity." Applejack sighed. "Not everyone is as tight-flanked as you are. Besides, she's got a few minutes left, anyways. Didn't she say she was only here tuh oversee the preparations, anyway?"

"Regardless!" Rarity continued. "She should be here, anyway! This is a big event, for Celestia's sake! Literally!"

"In before you're too slow jokes." Rainbow Dash coughed before awkwardly whistling as she trotted away to raid the punch bowl.

"Times up." Rarity growled to Applejack as Mayor Mare took the stage and ponies crowded around.

"Ahem." Mayor Mare began; clearing her throat. "Fillies and gentlecolts! As mayor of Ponyville, it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration! In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year!"

Ponies cheered and stomped their hooves in excitement as the anticipation grew to insane levels, before Mayor Mare raised her voice above the crowd to continue.

"And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria... Princess Celestia!"

As the excitement grew quickly, once more, it was suddenly cut off and replaced with stunned silence as the curtains pulled themselves back to reveal an empty stage devoid of a Princess.

"S-Stay calm, everypony! I'm sure she's just in the little fillies room, or something!" Mayor Mare suggested in an attempt to ease the nervous crowd.

Before they could be calmed any further, however, the giant spotlight began to flicker and sputter before dying out completely as a thick, bluish-black mist swirled together onto the stage; illuminated by a shaft of moonlight until it exploded outwards to reveal a tall, menacing-looking alicorn with a black coat and cold steel armor.

"Oh, my beloved subjects." She began with a mocking tone. "It's been so long since I've seen your precious, little sun-loving faces!"

"Who the hay are you, and what did you do with Princess Celestia?!" A pony called out from the crowd.

"Why, am I not royal enough for you?" the alicorn chuckled, before her voice shifted into a harsh shout. "You have no idea who I am?!?"

When no voice dared to respond to the alicorn's question, she angrily slammed her hooves into the floor and shouted once more: "I am Nightmare Moon! Queen of the Night and bringer of eternal darkness! Did Celestia not speak of me, at all, for one thousand years?! Did she simply leave my deeds to die after she banished me?!"

By now, ponies were cowering in fear and huddling close together for protection. But still, no answer came form the crowd.

"Then that will be her downfall. Remember this day, little ponies, for it was your last. From this moment forth, the night will last forever!" Nightmare Moon exclaimed once more, before erupting into maniacal laughter as lightening flashed and thunder roared outside as she disappeared back into the swirling mist.

"This sucks on ice!" Rainbow Dash groaned.

"Yer tellin' me." Applejack sighed. "Do any of ya'll know what the hay just happened? What was that mare talkin' about, 'did Celestia not talk about me fer a thousand years'?"

"I haven't the slightest idea, but- Oh, right on time. Welcome to the party, Ms. Sparkle." Rarity huffed.

"Hey, what's going on? Shouldn't the sun be up, already?" Twilight inquired as she studied the sky. "Shit, don't tell me I'm too late..."

"On the contrary, you're ahead of schedule, considering Princess Celestia can't raise the sun on account of the fact that she's been kidnapped!" Rarity exclaimed with a glare. "But I suppose you wouldn't know anything about that, since you slept all day."

"So I did miss it." Twilight groaned. "Celestia, damn it. Alright, I need you all to follow me; I know how to stop Nightmare Moon."

"And just how in tarnation do you know about Nightmare Moon?!" Applejack pipped up.

"Because, unlike you, I actually read books!" Twilight challenged. "Look, Nightmare Moon isn't what she really claims to be. But, if we don't stop her in time, she'll probably kill Princess Celestia, and then we'll never see the sun rise ever again. Do you understand? Crops will die, monsters will have free reign of the land, and gothic ponies will be more annoying than ever! So just trust me on this when I say I know how to stop her, and that I need all of your help!"

A still silence overtook the group as Twilight waited for agreements.

"Well, it beats sitting here doing nothing." Rainbow Dash pipped up. "Besides, once Equestria hears about how I helped save Princess Celestia, the Wonderbolts are sure to recruit me!"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Twilight sighed in irritation. "Anyone else going to help save the world?"

"I-I can't let monsters put my animals at risk, s-so I guess I can help..."

"Without that sun, mah family name's pretty much soured. Ya'll can count me in."

"You have got to be joking me!" Rarity pleaded. "You can't honestly believe that this sad excuse for a protégé knows exactly what is going on and where Princess Celestia is!"

"Maybe not, but Ar-Dee is right: we ain't doin' anything helpful by sittin' on our flanks and mopin' around. Besides, she is still the cloest pony tuh Princess Celestia we have, right now, so she definitely knows more than you do, Rarity." Applejack retorted.

"Fine!" Rarity shouted after a moment of trying to find the words to challenge Applejack while stuttering. "But I'm only coming to prove you all wrong!"

"Woo hoo!" Pinkie Pie excitedly shouted as she jumped up into the air. "What time is it?!"

When she the only response she received was concerned and worried stares, the pink party pony slowly floated back to the ground before lowering her head and dejectedly whispering to herself "Adventure Time..."

"Ah swear tuh Celestia, Twilight, if yer leadin' us all to our deaths on purpose, and yr in cahoots with Nightmare Moon, I will haunt the ever-living-" Applejack began, before she was interrupted by Rainbow Dash shouting down from the clouds.

"Hey, I see it! Who the heck would build a castle in the middle of the Everfree Forest, anyway?!"

"It wasn't always a forest, you know." Twilight explained with a little smile as Rainbow Dash landed behind her; leading the group into the jungle-like forest. "It's only like this, now, because of the strong magical residue that sunk into the ground after a huge fight between Nightmare Moon and Princess Celestia."

"So yer sayin' what Nightmare Moon said is true? Princess Celestia really did banish her fer a thousand years?" Applejack wondered. "What the hay do ya have tuh do tuh get banished for a thousand years?"

"Well, a long time ago, it wasn't just Princess Celestia ruling Equestria. She had a little sister named Lunarias, who controlled the moon like Princess Celestia controls the sun." Twilight began. "But ponies did all their work and play during the daytime, and ended up sleeping through the night, so Princess Lunarias got really jealous. Eventually, it got to the point where Princess Lunarias was so ticked off at her sister and the ponies of Equestria that, if they couldn't learn to love and appreciate her night, she'd make them."

"Oh, please, Twilight." Rarity huffed as she rolled her eyes. "Do you honestly expect us to believe that Princess Celestia had a sister when there's nothing in the entire kingdom of Equestria that hints such a thing?"

"There are hints and clues around, it's just that most of them aren't available to the public. Would you want ponies wondering why you say you have a sister when she's never been seen? Especially when that very same sister tried to kill her own sister and overtake all of Equestria?"

"She has a point, Rarity." Applejack coughed.

"I lived in Canterlot Castle for most of my life. In the dining hall, there's this long table where Princess Celestia eats with all the nobles and other important ponies, but there's this dusty old dark-blue seat at the other end of the table that's been there for as long as I can remember, and nopony has ever sat in it, or even asked why it was there." Twilight continued. "There's a whole section of the castle that's been blocked off by the royal guard under order of Princess Celestia herself, and nopony knows what's in it; not even my brother, who's captain of the royal guard."

"Heck, that'd drive me up an apple tree, not knowing why some things were there. How'd you handle it all?" Applejack pressed.

"I didn't, really. My curiosity got the better of me, and I snuck into the old parts a couple of times, but all the doors were sealed with magic. Princess Celestia caught me, once, and I had to write a thousand page essay on respecting rules. Kind of ironic, now that I think about it. But even that didn't stop me. Since I couldn't get through the doors, I spent years smooching up to the Head Librarian of the Royal Archives until she trusted and liked me enough to give me spare keys so I could read when the library was closed for the day." Twilight explained. "Did you know that Princess Celestia keeps diaries? Whenever she fills them up, she puts them into a vault in the Royal Archives. It really gives powerful insight on some of Equestria's most historic moments. Like, when Aldeus Stormfeather wanted to unify the Gryphon tribes to create a powerful empire, Princess Celestia knew it would lead to war, eventually, so she started building relations with some influential Gryphons for if Aldeus lost the war."

"Well, I suppose that explains why we have such warm relations with... Meat eaters..." Rarity said with a suppressed shiver.

"Ah'm surprised we ain't come across anything strange, yet. Ponies around here ain't too keen on comin' within a few yards of this place 'cause of the timberwolves an' the manticores." Applejack noted.

"And when do manticores and timberwolves normally come out?" Twilight questioned.

"Durin' the... Oh."

"Night time, bitches." Twilight teased. "Besides, we're almost there. You can kind of see the old castle through the trees."

True to her word, the old castle of the royal pony sisters was just coming into view as the group moved from the forest into open land.

"Nightmare Moon is in there?" Rarity asked with a frown and a raised eyebrow.

"Most likely. It's where the M17 Teleportal Device was installed, way back when she was banished. It's where I'd go if I was an evil alter ego alicorn hellbent on world domination." Twilight explained. "I mean, look at it: old, almost unknown castle in the middle of a forest that the general populace are terrified to even get near with a teleporting device already built in. Of course, by now it's probably broken beyond all use. Shame it was the only one ever built."

"Alright, so, what do we do, now?" Rainbow Dash wondered. "Spread out and look for clues?"

"Hell no. Do you have a death wish? Never separate in a horror situation." Twilight ordered. "Let's all check this place room by room. With how much has decayed and was destroyed in the initial fight, it really shouldn't take long."

"Ooh, bright light, bright light!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she hurriedly bounced towards the center of the ruins; towards a large building with several holes in it. A bright light did indeed ebb through the cracks, and they soon learned that the cause of such was Nightmare Moon's magic as she worked tirelessly to repair some large contraption in the center of the room.

"What's the plan, purple smart?" Rainbow Dash whispered urgently as they stood behind the dark alicorn. "I can go in and distract her while AJ kicks her in the side while you girls go look for the princess."

Giving an offended look at Rainbow Dash for simplifying her name in such a crude manner, Twilight Sparkle lightly smacked her in the back of the head before shaking her own. "No, I've got a better idea. You and Fluttershy go look for Princess Celestia. I'll handle Nightmare Moon."

"All by yerself? Are you mad, sugarcube?" Applejack whispered rather loudly.

"I've got a plan, just trust me!" Twilight reassured them as Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy quietly flew off to search the ruins; leaving Applejack shaking her head as Twilight loudly gulped and carefully made her way across the ancient stone floor towards Nightmare Moon, before she stood nearly beside her; looking into the ancient and decrepit machine. "Uh, need some help..?"

"OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING ME!" Rarity shouted, causing Nightmare Moon to jump to the side in shock before giving a growl as she encased the four ponies in small, semi transparent magical orbs; pulling them closer to her as she gave a chuckle.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? Willing servants, or foolhardy adventurers?" Nightmare Moon mocked.

"Heh, neither, really." Twilight responded. "Rarity's too high-and-mighty to serve anyone, and Applejack's got too much at stake to lose it all during adventuring. Uh, this isn't really how I planned this, so let's just skip to the point: My name is Twilight Sparkle, and that is the M17 Teleportal Device."

"It was used, one thousand years ago, to banish you to the moon." Twilight continued. "One thousand years. Let that sink in. Or, on second thought, I guess you've had plenty of time to let that sink in. Look, this isn't working, so I'm just going to be as blunt as I can: I'm Princess Celestia's student. She's teaching me all about magic, and I grew up in the castle. Not this one, I mean, since it's FUBAR. I mean the one you used to live in before you became Nightmare Moon."

"Twilight Sparkle, stop this at once!" Princess Celestia demanded as she slowly trotted into the room with Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy in tow; causing Nightmare Moon to release her prisoners from her magical grasp and take a battle stance against Princess Celestia.

"Hey, guys, we found her!" Rainbow Dash declared.

"This ends here, and now, Nightmare Moon." Princess Celestia explained. "I cannot allow you to punish these ponies for deeds that transpired long before they were even born, even if that means making it so you can never threaten Equestria ever again."

"So be it, Celestia!" Nightmare Moon laughed. "Come, face me on the battlefield, again. You and I both know who will win."

"No, no, no!" Twilight Sparkle shouted. "Both of you, stop being idiots!"

"Look, I know I'm going to get a lot of shit later for this, but whatever. Princess Celestia, you are a huge bitch. No, seriously. I lived in Canterlot Castle for years. I saw that seat at the end of the dining table every morning, afternoon, and night. I saw you, every breakfast and dinner, staring for ten minutes at that seat before you even touched your food. I saw you quietly talking to yourself when you thought no one was looking." Twilight explained. "I read all of your diaries in the Royal Archives. I felt what you felt through all of those entries; the betrayal, the regret, and the depression. I saw through the cracks in the magically sealed doors in that section of the castle you blocked off. You miss your sister so damned much that you kept everything she touched preserved so that you could remember her. You wanted her back so badly that you even contemplated fixing the teleportal yourself and leaving Equestria just to be with your sister again. But that's not what makes you a bitch. What makes you a bitch is that, after all of this, the first thing you did tonight was tell your sister that you'd kill her."

Princess Celestia's jaw slowly opened as if to protest, but no words came out as Twilight Sparkle took a deep breath before continuing.

"And you!" she said; motioning towards Nightmare Moon. "All those years ago, you never even talked to your sister about any of this! You just kept it all pent up in your own diary and let it fester and grow until you were, quite literally, consumed by your rage and jealousy. And if you don't believe me, there's proof! Every single thing that you ever touched has been so preserved that Celestia almost banished a maid for trying to clean your dining room chair! I know you weren't always Nightmare Moon, and Celestia knows that, too. Even if neither of you say it, you both know that, deep down, you miss and love each other. This doesn't have to end with somepony's death, tonight; you two can put all of this behind you and be sisters, again. Celestia, and Lunarias..."

A long silence filled the air after Twilight had finished, with none of the ponies knowing what to do next as tears slowly welled up in either alicorn's eyes.

"I'll say it if you say it, Lulu..." Princess Celestia whispered; breaking the silence as she pushed past Twilight and towards her sister, before the two firmly embraced each other and whispered "I forgive you."

"Nuh uh, sugarcube. You've already had thirteen, and yer nearly fallin' outta yer chair." Applejack chuckled.

"Come ooooon..." Twilight groaned. "One more cider can't hurt... I think I deserve one after everything that's happened, you know..."

"I still don't know what to feel." Rarity sighed. "Part of me hates your guts, Twilight, but another part of me will forever respect you for what you said to the princesses. It was incredibly heartfelt, you know."

"Yeah, yeah, shush your face..." Twilight slurred. "You know, that wasn't originally my plan... I was going to show her how far technology had come and get her into computer gaming. Those competitive games can be a real stress reliever, you know."

"Nah, we wouldn't know a darn thing about any of that. Only two of us have a computer, an' that's Ar-Dee and you."

"Rainbow Dash has a computer? What the hell does she even use it for?" Twilight groaned.

"The Wonderbolts have a website." Rainbow Dash explained, simply.

"Of course they fucking do." Twilight sighed. "The library has a huge stock of them. They're old, but most of them still work. You guys could come use them anytime, and maybe you'd end up buying one of your own. Applejack, you could sell so many more apples if you ship them to other cities, and Pinkie Pie, you could put your partying ideas online, or even start a business for yourself throwing parties. I know a DJ in Canterlot who'd love you."

"Well, when ya put it like that..." Applejack began, before rubbing her chin thoughtfully and looking off into space.

"Ugh... Celestia is still going to kill me for calling her a bitch..." Twilight groaned. "Spike, take a letter..."

Author's Note

I apologize if this chapter feels/sounds different from the first one. As you can see, I've come back to this story after two years.