Be Ready For It!

by Get Bent

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Nightmare Moon, Comedy, Random, Crossover
Length: 1057

Fear the wrath of the GOD HAND.

Nightmare Moon is taking over the world. Oops.

Well, no, never mind.

But who was that?

Published 2022-09-26 20:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-09-26 20:10:01 UTC

Gene’s Rock-A-Bye

Uh oh. Nightmare Moon.

The biggest, baddest, bitch… in the world.

She wanted eternal night. She was the embodiment of evil. Ponies can’t live without light.

Plants will die. Things will die.

Everything will die.

Unless she is stopped.

Legend tells of the six “Elements of Harmony” that can solve everything. Force won’t work. You can’t kill her, she has the power of a Goddess.

So instead, that’s where the elements come in.

Only five are known, and the six is said to be revealed when the others are.

Twilight and her friends need to find them. But first, they need the exposition.

Nightmare Moon stood up on a stage, imposing, scary.

She began to speak. Her voice was dark. Gravelly.

“From this moment forth, the night... will las-“

**WH-CHH**

A mysterious man, never before seen by the eyes of pony-kind, punched the tall alicorn into the air.

“Ho-HAH!” He yelled out, doing a roundhouse kick.

The pony, upon contact with the man’s foot, flew back somewhere around ~50 feet, at the speed of sound.

Or did she go back 50 hooves?

He didn’t know. It was probably some stupid metric system crap.

Either way, she landed on the dirt, and began to skid.

…and skid…

Oh, she’s slowing down. Finally.

Gene hopped off the stage, and ran over towards her. The crowd watched on as this goofy ass man, who apparently didn’t know what sidestepping was, (when he turned, he turned in a circle) ran towards the biggest threat Equestria had ever faced. Ever.

And he was running like a total goober. Really. You had to have been there.

Gene kneeled down and looked at the supposed “dangerous being” that Olivia had tasked him to take out.

She was knocked out in two hits. He’d faced better thugs and demons in his sleep. And he was on level 2!

He sighed, and kicked her in the head. She didn’t move, but his foot made a funny ‘clunk’ noise. “Well, that was a bust. But hey. Job is over. That’s the quickest one yet.” He cracked his knuckles and smiled. Yet he remained in the opposite direction of the crowd.

Purposefully so.

He kicked the horse in the head one last time, and turned to face them.

“No need to thank me!” He bragged. “Just doing my thing.”

Until he was pushed from behind.

“Ough!” He yelled, and fell on his face.

Quickly spinning off of his hands and up onto his feet, he faced his opponent.

The horse was still standing.

And she looked pissed.

Gene smiled, and cracked his neck.

He moved his arm in a circular motion, loosening his shoulder.

“Guess you’re not gonna go down as easy as I thought, horse lady.” He said, chuckling. She growled.

He cracked his knuckles.

And then he cracked his back.

And his hip.

And hi-

“Will you stop that!” The horse yelled, and blasted him with magic. “What are you even doing!”

He weaved around it, and whistled.

“H-How did you…?” She questioned.

But then she got angry again.

She fired again.

He weaved.

She fired again.

He weaved.

She fired again.

He weaved.

LEVEL UP

“YOU INSOLENT WENCH!” The horse yelled, charging at him quickly.

He didn’t have time to dodge, and took another hit. She was fast!

The crowd watched as he fell hard to the floor.

…Yet he just got right back up.

“Alright, alright. I didn’t wanna waste it on you but I’m tired. And hungry.” He said, sighing again, and feeling things out.

He felt things out so hard…

That his arm began to glow.

“EeerrrraAGHH!!” He yelled as the braces exploded off of his arm.

His theme music began to play, and he sprinted towards her.

The horse never saw it coming.

He punched. He hooked. Right hook. Left hook. Slap. Smack. Punch.

Square. Square. Square.

Circle!

He began to ‘pummel’ her.

He punched, and he punched, and he punched.

The prompt changed, and he ran behind her.

“RAGH!” He yelled, and suplexed her.

Her head went right into the dirt.

But because she still had health, she just popped right back out.

-Uppercut.

He jumped, he spun, and he kicked.

“ERAGH!”

She flew backwards once again.

Except this time, she hit a nearby tree.

She choked out spittle, and screamed in agony. Every bone in her body felt like it had been shattered.

But she had to keep fighting. She couldn’t let this… freak, win.

“Ooh, gettin’ back up?” He taunted. “Your health is real low, horse lady.”

It was true. She only had a sliver left. Soon enough, she’d fall to the ground and fade away.

Like all the others.

“My… health?” She muttered. She was constantly confused by this thing.

But rather than question it anymore, she went animalistic.

She charged and raised her hoof. Forget magic. He would’ve just dodged it.

He smirked, and ran towards her.

They were going to clash.

Until he stopped on a dime.

“Call it a cheap shot!” He shouted. “But whatever!”

He had hardly broken a sweat. He just wanted to have some fun.

He pressed R1. Time slowed down.

The roulette came up.

He began to scroll.

Where is it…

He was using his legs in this fight quite often.

What’s one more time?

*LA BOMBA*
*GOD STOMP*

*DRAGON KICK*

He selected it, and moved forward two steps.

“ERAGH!”

He yelled, and kicked as hard as he could.

She flew up into the air, and twinkled like a star.

He took a few steps back, admired his work,

And then did a little jig.

…

Nightmare Moon flew off into the stratosphere, and was never seen again.

Some ponies theorize that she ended back up on the moon.

Others theorize that she just stopped thinking.

…but nopony ever dared theorize what happened to that mysterious bipedal man.

After that fight, he simply disappeared, complaining about it being ‘too easy’ and a person named ‘Olivia’ being a tease.

But they never questioned it.

For they feared the wrath of what he had.

The wrath…

Of the GOD HAND.

Author's Note

play god hand.

But make sure to Be Ready For It!

wanted to write something for fun. working on sweet madness still but life has been really busy.

thanks for reading. don’t be a stranger