The Heart Wants What It Wants

Pipp Petals awoke to the familiar morning sounds of the early seabirds over the bay, distant yelling of dockworkers, and snoring.

She stretched her hooves under the silky sheets, but found herself trapped in a tight embrace. A ray of sunshine peeking through the top of the curtains warmed the side of her face. She could feel the hot breath of her companion on the back of her neck as he continued to snore, fast asleep.

She opened her eyes to a large four-post bed with blue-green sheets and yellow fur on hooves wrapped around her. In the room around her, dimly lit from the occasional ray of morning sunshine, were shelves lined with books containing a thick layer of dust, and awards without so much as a speck. A calendar on the wall bore his image and trademark smile.

Hitch shifted and rustled the blankets as he let out a particularly loud snore, pulling her closer to his body. Pipp smirked and silently promised herself to tease him for his clingy mid-sleep tendencies later. She reached out from under the blanket, and plucked her phone off of the bedside table. Her beau could sleep a little longer; she was in no rush to get out of bed.

Pipp wiggled herself back down under the covers and into Hitch’s warm cuddle while she scrolled through her notifications. A dozen endorsement deal offers (as if), the occasional hate mail (respectfully ignored), and fan messages. She took her time replying to the latter, thanking all of them for their support. She scrolled next through her feed next to see the latest news, finding more of the same. Her mother had posted the umpteenth picture of the week of her beloved Cloudpuff, and Sunny posted another picture of their group crowded together and grinning.

She pressed back a little more, feeling warm and cozy in a way that only a morning snuggle after a long night could provide. Scrolling only a little farther down the feed, she nearly dropped her phone in shock. There was her and Hitch, posed together, alone. Like a couple. She’d posted it herself sometime late last night during dinner. She didn’t even remember that! Her brain was going into full panic mode by now, racing through the various potential scenarios and excuses she might come up with, but everything she could think of went back to that picture of them, together, just a bit too close to one another wearing equally big grins.

She must have had a few too many ciders, got caught up in the commotion of Maretime Bay’s night scene and completely forgot herself, and her carefully curated image. Of repercussions and overbearing mothers and disappointed fans not ready for change nor easily embracing of it.

With trepidation she clicked the comments to see what her fans might say or think…and found nothing out of the ordinary. Ponies envious of their friendship, calling Hitch a hunk, asking about when the next concert would be. Not a single comment under the assumption the picture before them was of anything more than two friends. Pipp breathed a sigh of relief and felt the brief panic begin to wash away.

Hitch started to move, letting out a quiet groan as he extracted a hoof from Pipp’s side to rub sleep from his eyes. “Mh. How long’d I sleep?”

“Not long.” Pipp yawned and stretched wider now that she had room and was unafraid of waking him. “Sounds like you had your beauty sleep.”

“Yeah. I always sleep amazing with you next to me.” He gave her a flirty grin as he sat up and leaned over to kiss the top of her head. Pipp let herself fall back against him, her head resting against his neck.

“Goofball,” she muttered, grinning wide. He responded with a sleepy chuckle, nuzzling into her mane in that spot she loved right behind her ear. Pipp exhaled slowly and quietly.

“Feel like breakfast? I could go for pancakes. You know I make a mean—“

“I know. You’ve told me.” Pipp rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling. She could never stop smiling at him, no matter his crummy jokes or lame brags.

Something was nagging at her. The image of the photo clung to her mind, like it had sunk its claws into her. In her fears she imagined the flood of comments tearing her apart, suggesting betrayal and disgust. It had been too close of a call to even think about, being almost outed like that. Hitch noticed her distraction as he pulled away, about to crawl out of bed.

“Something on your mind, darling?” He cocked his head to one side attentively, like he was ready and willing for her to bear her whole soul to him in that very moment, regardless of how long it took. She liked that about him.

Pipp was unable to hide the smile it gave her. “I’m fine, I promise.”

He grinned that stupid, flashy, loveable grin of his and patted her thigh. “If you say so. I’m gonna hop in the shower.”

On most days she would have joined him—he had a way with his hooves that she adored, especially when he washed her mane—but today she wanted to be alone with her thoughts. She sprawled out across the expansive bed and stared at the ceiling. Whenever he was gone that bed really did make her feel small and insignificant under the weight of the world.

They’d been seeing each other like this for months in secret, hiding their relationship from the world. Their closest friends knew, of course. Pipp wasn’t sure she could hide anything from them, let alone her sister, even if she tried. But to the rest of the world, they stayed hidden. At first, out of convenience while they tested the waters, but then it became out of necessity.

Hitch and Pipp were both ponies of the public. For Pipp, her adoring fans and the royal subjects of Zephyr Heights, and for Hitch, the public he served and whom voted him into office; but the world they lived in was still adjusting to the rapid reintegration of Earth Pony, Pegasi and Unicorn societies. What would the adoring public of Zephyr Heights, who’d spent years speculating on what Pegasus athlete or Royal Guard Commander Pipp would be seen with next, think of an Earth Pony? What would the Earth Ponies of Maretime bay think of their arm of justice with a Pegasi, whom they long-regarded as an enemy?

Convenience had become habit and as she could recall, very quickly neither were in such a hurry to ‘make a big deal out of things,’ or let the world in on their personal lives. Pipp couldn’t’ remember the last time they’d talked about if or when that day would come. What if it never came?

A cold shiver ran up Pipp’s spine, a familiar one saved for whenever she thought too deep about the subject. She heard the shower running, Hitch humming a tune as he washed himself off. He called out to her, inviting her in again, something in the realm of the temperature being just perfect, but Pipp wasn’t listening, because she’d realized what was gnawing at her.

When she’d seen that picture of the two of them on her feed, up where everypony could see, the first thought that went through her mind hadn’t been panic, it was relief. Like she’d wanted to be found, to no longer be forced to keep up the facade. Her stomach felt like stone and pulled in knows as she became conscious of her own breathing—nowhere near calm and quiet anymore—and the dimly-lit room around her. Hitch’s room.

Then, out loud, she whispered low enough that Hitch couldn’t hear, “Oh, Ponyfeathers! How could I let this happen?”