The bachelor party

by sykko

Rating: mature
Tags: Anon, Porn, Comedy, Caramel, Big Macintosh, Random, Sex, Profanity, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Thunderlane
Length: 1926

Anon goes to a strip club in Manehattan for Big Mac's bachelor party

Big Macintosh is getting married to Sugar Belle in a week. For his "last day of freedom" Anon takes his friend to a gentlestallion's club in Manehattan. Pony strip clubs are just like the strip clubs back on Earth...right?

This story is inspired by a dream I had a while back.

Reader warning: Reverse stripping, pole dancing, making it clap, and a mildly surprised and annoyed human. Also: A brief scene of some mares enjoying a wild bachelorette party.

Published 2022-10-01 20:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-10-01 20:50:00 UTC

The Clothing Rack

Anon A. Mous, Equestria's resident green ape-descendant steps out of a taxi coach in Manehattan's red light district. Clenched in his hand is a flier for a strip club he found in Ponyville's oneamd only sex shoppe that read "The Clothing Rack, Manehattan's best gentlestallion's club. 100% live mares willing to to do the nastiest dancing in your laps. Also featuring all-new peep shows and Manehattan's oldest gloryhole. All stallions guaranteed to leave with a smile on their faces"

"Anon, why'dja bring me and the colts here?", Big Mac asked as he stepped out of the taxi coach, looking around at the seedy red light district.

"C'mon, cuz, this is your last day of freedom!", Caramel said excitedly."It'll do ya some good ta wild it out a little 'fore ya tie the knot."

"This is the bast strip club,peep show and gloryhole in all of Manehattan!", Thunderlane exclaimed. "The gloryhole is completely anonymous, so no worries about a mare taking you to court for foal support. And I plan on nutting up in a mare's guts at least once."

"You sound like you've done that before.", Anon said as he looked up and down the street at the various seedy sex shoppes, brothels and adult bookstore fronts.

"Yeah, probably got 2 or 3 little 'Lanes running around.", Thunderlane said. "At least you don't have to worry about catching the clop." "Learned my lesson about hunting for trim in Marenilla.", he muttered.

Anon pretended to not hear that last part his Wonderbolt friend muttered. "Ah, there it is!", he half-shouted, pointing that the twinkling neon sign the read The Clothing Rack. A set of twinkling neon signs on the front read Mares! Mares! Mares! XXX

The 3 stallions and 1 green human walked up to the front of the club. A skinny stallion sat behind the counter in a Plexiglas ticket booth.

"Party of 4 reserved for 7:30, booked under the name Anon A. Mous.", Anon said through the little circle of small holes drilled in the Plexiglas and slid a pouch of bits through the slot.

The skinny stallion flipped through the list of reservation on the counter and slipped 4 fetlock bands through the slot. "Remember, out by the stage you can't put your hooves on the mares, but they can put their hooves on you. It's 10 bits for 10 minutes at the peep shows. All transactions at the gloryhole must be paid in advance if you want to get your dick wet."

The 3 stallions and 1 human attached the bands to their fetlocks/wrist. As they approached the double doors, a pair of burly stallions burst through the double doors carrying a drunk stallion out and hurled him onto the sidewalk. "Don't come back until you remember to keep your hooves to yourself!", one of them yelled. "Have a good time gentlestallions, and remember, keep your hooves to yourself.", the same burly stallion said as he and his fellow bouncer stepped aside for the party of 4, holding the double doors open.

As they stepped into the club interior, the smell of cheap beer, cheaper cigars and sweaty stallion bodies assailed the noses.

"Smells just like Cafe Risque back in Charleston...minus the pony sweat.", Anon said.

Stopping just inside the darkened room, Big Mac balked feeling unsure of himself. "Wh-what would Princess Celestia say if she saw me in here?"

"I think she'd say pay 5000 bits for the royal room. In there they let you anything your perverted mind can come up with. Anything.", Celestia said walking past him from outside sporting a magically created boner. "Now if you'll excuse me, gentlestallions and gentlehuman, I plan on wearing out at least 3 sluts this evening." She proudly trotted across the strip club's floor, her magically created boner flopping side-to-side, a squad of guards following close behind her. She slipped past a thick black curtain. The guards posted up outside the curtain.

Big Mac, Caramel, Thunderlane and Anon sat at the table marked reserved at the edge of the stage.

"What do you think Sugar Belle is doing right now?", Big Mac whispered to Caramel.

Back at Carousel Boutique the draped had been drawn closed, all the displays and sewing machines had been moved back into the storage rooms. The front door was locked and the sign flipped to closed.

Inside was a den of debauchery as Fluttershy had paid for several high-priced stallion prostitutes to come by for Sugar Belle's bachelorette party.

Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie whooped, cheered and whistled lewdly as they tossed bits at 6 stallion prostitutes standing on their hind legs and gyrating their hips to make their thick cocks slap against their bellies and waggle in the air.

Rarity moaned loudly as a stallion prostitute reamed out her ponut with his thick cock.

Twilight let out muffled, gurgling moans around a thick stallion prostitute's cock as another stallion prostitute pounded her purple pussy.

Fluttershy let out soft squeaking moans as she rode a stallion prostitute.

Gurgling gags came out of Sugar Belle's mouth as a stallion prostitute throat-fucked her.

Caramel shrugged. "Probably stuffing herself silly at a party."

Spot lights clicked on and centered on the curtain at the back of the stage.

Anon signaled to a waitress for a round of beers.

The DJ in the booth clicked on his mic and a short squeal of feedback filled the room. "Alright colts, whoop it up for our next dancer Clarice Amandaaaaaaa!"

Anon shrugged, he figured as most mares' real names already sounded like stripper stage names, it would make sense for a mare stripper's stage name would sound a bit like a human name.

With the scratch of a needle, the DJ started the song, an 80's style hair metal song. Though the words were a bit different, Anon recognized Cherry Pie when he heard it. I guess whoever the pony version of Warrant is, they must make pretty good money off of strip clubs here.

The curtain at the back of the stage flung open and an earth pony mare with a golden coat and bright red mane and tail strutted out in step with the beat. She wore change belts on all four legs. Reaching the pole in the center of the stage, she swung up on it, shimmied to the top, wrapped her hind legs around it and leaned back, showing off her teats to the crowd as she slowly spun down to the stage.

Stallion whooped and cheered and whistled. Many threw bits onto the stage. A few shouted lewd comments.

As the mare reached the bottom of the pole, she deftly flipped off onto her belly, crawled seductively to the edge of the stage. She sat up on her haunches, licked a hoof and began running it down her chest floof until her reached her belly. She licked her lips and blew kisses to the crowd as she circled her teats one-at-a-time with her hoof. As she reached her hoof towards her pussy, she stopped short and brought it back up to her mouth to make a slutty "oopsie" face.

Anon looked over as a stallion at a neighboring table began foaming at the mouth. Blood trickled from his nostrils and he fell to the floor. A pair of bouncers hurried over, picked him up and rushed him to a room marked with a red cross.

"There's always one.", Thunderlane snickered.

The mare spun herself around so her plot was facing the crowd. Laying her chest to the stage, she began flicking her tail back and forth, showing off her pussy and ponut as she shook and gyrated her hips, making her pony butt cheeks clap.

As the mare was making it clap, a pair of stage hooves came out, dragging 2 racks of clothes each.

Stallions lewdly cheered and whistled as they threw bits onto the stage. They shouted, "Put it on! Put it on! Put it on!", as they whistled and cheered.

The mare walked over to the clothing racks and pulled off 2 pairs of black nylon stockings. She seductively rolled them on, one-at-a-time onto her legs, the whole time gyrating her hips and making her pony butt cheeks clap. She then grabbed a pair of white cotton panties. She rolled onto her back, used her forehooves to spread her pussy lips apart, showing the pink meat inside to the crowd before sliding the panties on.

The stallions cheered and whooped and whistled louder. More bits flew onto the stage. A few more stallions got overexcited, collapsing to the floor, foaming at the mouth and bleeding from the nose.

The mare grabbed a pair of big, frilly bloomers from the rack. She played with her teats before slipping the large undergarment on.

"Fucking ponies!", Anon grumbled as he quickly downed his beer. What did he expect in a world where everybody...pony walked around naked all the time?

The mare finished her set by finally pulling a bonnet on and tying the strings under her chin. She was covered from head-to-hoof-to-ploy with many, many layers of clothes. To Anon, she looked like a walking blob of clothes.

"Alright, colts! Give it up for Clarice Amandaaaaaaa!", The DJ shouted from the booth.

Anon signaled to a waitress, slipped her a stack of bits and asked for the biggest, strongest bottle of liquor.

***

The rest of the night went by in a drunken stupor.

At one point Big Mac and Caramel made it hail on a pair of mares in big hoop skirts

Thunderlane wound up spending all his money at the gloryhole dropping his load into an anonymous pony.

A minotaur cow came out on stage and gestured for Anon to join her. Having built up Ditch courage, Anon joined her. She pulled on a floor-length sequined dress and began gyrating her flanks at his crotch. Anon pumped his fists in the air and thrust his hips at her plot on tempo with the techno beat as he shouted,"Oo-ah oo-ah!", in a high falsetto at the crowd, who in turn echoed it back.

***

Anon groaned as he woke up. His head throbbed from the hangover. He felt a pair of warm bodies pressed at his sides. Slowly opening his eyes, he blinked away the blurriness. On his chest was a large, white hoof and a big, brown, furry hand. Looking to his left, Princess Celestia, minus her royal regalia was snuggled up to him, he pastel rainbow-colored hair hung in messy, ethereal strands about her face, neck and withers. A minotaur cow was snuggled up to his right, her udders drapped across his thighs.

The princess and the minotaur nuzzled into Anon's neck as he stirred.

"Mmmm. If I had known you hoomyn bulls had such endurance in the sack, I'd have stopped rutting minotaur bulls a long time ago.", the bipedal cow said in a half-asleep, happy murmur.

"Ditto.", the princess mumbled.

What the fuck did I do last night?!

Author's Note

I hope this story gave you a few chuckles and chortles.

As said in the description, this story was inspired by a dream I had about 6 months ago.

After months of hemming and hawing, I decided to write it.

I hope you all read and enjoy.

Feel free to leave a comment down below if you spot any typos or misspellings, love the story, hate the story or wanna throw any shade or bane.

And as always, Muc Mothafuckin' My Little Pony Love, or MMFMLPL!