The Jaded Files: The Neighpon Adventure

I groaned, my head hurt like crazy. That in itself was crazy, I was a ghoul, I wasn't supposed to get headaches. I blinked my eyes open when I decided to feel recovered. Looking around, I found myself in a crate. Specifically, a bow filled with empty jam jars. How I knew this, I will never tell.

A voice echoed a bit. My head perked up, I knew that voice. I clambered out of my crate quite ungracefully and ending up sprawled on the floor. Hmm. I tapped the floor with a hoof. It was wood. Forgetting about my friend for a bit, I glanced around with more scrutiny. The walls, the floor, and even the ceiling was all wood. Damp wood. Inside of this damp, wooden, dark place, there were a ton of crates.

Another groan snapped me out of my observations. I trotted around the various things, trying my very best not to trip, before finding myself in front of an earth pony. Red Lichen was trying to untangle himself from a bunch of rope while still looking half asleep. I grinned and started helping him.

"Jaded. You're here too." Lichen grumbled, still annoyed by the rope. "Do you know where we are?"

"Nope!" My grin still wide as ever, betraying the name my parents gave me long ago.

"Of course you don't." Lichen mused over our surroundings before looking at me, his eyes wide. "Where is Strawberry?"

Cracked Jam Jar! I started pushing around boxes and ropes with my weak gray magic, looking for our pegasus. After a frantic search on both our parts, we found Fresh Strawberry hanging upside down on a beam, yet still asleep. I poked her cheek, causing her to stir just a bit. Then I watched with glee as she came tumbling down in a heap.

"Welcome to the living, Strawberry!" I nudged the groaning mare, prompting her to swat me. "Now, to figure out where we are." I left Lichen and Strawberry to recover their hangover I am quite sure they have, and started to have a look around. I found my revolver at the bottom of a barrel as well as a couple of jars of jam. I gathered the items with vigour, cooing over my no doubt, traumatized jam. I only continued my search after I made sure the jam was alright.

In a ripped hammock, I found Lichen's battle saddle yet with no weapons attached. He found his way to my side when I rolled the battle saddle out of the offending piece of cloth. He whimpered at the sight of his precious battle saddle, disassembled. I could sympathize, jam without ingredients is just...wrong.

Strawberry finally joined us after a while, her clearer gaze indicating that she was indeed much better. The three of us explored the rest of wherever we are and found Strawberry's laser pistol and Lichen's shotgun. Nothing else was found. I shrugged my shoulders after finding nothing else.

"So what now?" Strawberry asked through a screwdriver. Apparently a panel on the laser pistol was slightly loose, and if it wasn't fixed soon, it might explode. Like my granny Jam used to say, exploded strawberries do not taste great.

"Figure out where we are." Replied Lichen. He too was doing gun maintenance, trying to get it to attached it to his battle saddle once more. It took several times, but he finally did it.

"Righto! Find something that goes somewhere, be it down, up, or to the side." I proclaimed, proud with my fancy wording. Soon enough, the three of us were scavenging about, trying to find something.

"I found something!" Strawberry's call made my head snap back to where she was standing. One of her forehooves was pointing at a ladder that went up to a trapdoor.

"How did we miss that?" I asked, scratching my head with the butt-end of a toothbrush I found...somewhere.

"Does it matter? Let's climb!" Strawberry pushed past me and Lichen, and opened the trapdoor before any of us could say a single word. I sighed and followed her, not wanting her death on my conscious. When I poked my hornless head out, my eyes widened at the vicious ponies looking back down at me.

"Eep!"

Author's Note

AHA, JADED JAM IS OFF ON A NEW ADVENTURE. I DUNNO WHY I'M SHOUTING.

Ahem, yes. More Jaded Jam. I thought it was time. I thought of this while I was walking...I think. It's hard to remember such things.

Definition
Jaded: bored or lacking enthusiasm, typically after having had too much of something.