Fallout Equestria: Foreign Jams

by Visharo

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Fallout, Violence, Crossover, Dark, Death, Alternate Universe, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3067

The Glory of Jam is headed towards Neighpon.

(P.S. The previous story does not need to be read)

One bored Jam maker and seller, a Jam buyer, and a curious filly. The three end up on a ship, bound for Neighpon, and they don't remember a single thing!

Once there, they'll have to unravel the mysteries of themselves and the Clans of Neighpon if they are to ever return to Equestria in one piece.

Published 2022-10-05 22:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-10-28 16:07:55 UTC

Chapter 1: Confused

The Jaded Files: The Neighpon Adventure

I groaned, my head hurt like crazy. That in itself was crazy, I was a ghoul, I wasn't supposed to get headaches. I blinked my eyes open when I decided to feel recovered. Looking around, I found myself in a crate. Specifically, a bow filled with empty jam jars. How I knew this, I will never tell.

A voice echoed a bit. My head perked up, I knew that voice. I clambered out of my crate quite ungracefully and ending up sprawled on the floor. Hmm. I tapped the floor with a hoof. It was wood. Forgetting about my friend for a bit, I glanced around with more scrutiny. The walls, the floor, and even the ceiling was all wood. Damp wood. Inside of this damp, wooden, dark place, there were a ton of crates.

Another groan snapped me out of my observations. I trotted around the various things, trying my very best not to trip, before finding myself in front of an earth pony. Red Lichen was trying to untangle himself from a bunch of rope while still looking half asleep. I grinned and started helping him.

"Jaded. You're here too." Lichen grumbled, still annoyed by the rope. "Do you know where we are?"

"Nope!" My grin still wide as ever, betraying the name my parents gave me long ago.

"Of course you don't." Lichen mused over our surroundings before looking at me, his eyes wide. "Where is Strawberry?"

Cracked Jam Jar! I started pushing around boxes and ropes with my weak gray magic, looking for our pegasus. After a frantic search on both our parts, we found Fresh Strawberry hanging upside down on a beam, yet still asleep. I poked her cheek, causing her to stir just a bit. Then I watched with glee as she came tumbling down in a heap.

"Welcome to the living, Strawberry!" I nudged the groaning mare, prompting her to swat me. "Now, to figure out where we are." I left Lichen and Strawberry to recover their hangover I am quite sure they have, and started to have a look around. I found my revolver at the bottom of a barrel as well as a couple of jars of jam. I gathered the items with vigour, cooing over my no doubt, traumatized jam. I only continued my search after I made sure the jam was alright.

In a ripped hammock, I found Lichen's battle saddle yet with no weapons attached. He found his way to my side when I rolled the battle saddle out of the offending piece of cloth. He whimpered at the sight of his precious battle saddle, disassembled. I could sympathize, jam without ingredients is just...wrong.

Strawberry finally joined us after a while, her clearer gaze indicating that she was indeed much better. The three of us explored the rest of wherever we are and found Strawberry's laser pistol and Lichen's shotgun. Nothing else was found. I shrugged my shoulders after finding nothing else.

"So what now?" Strawberry asked through a screwdriver. Apparently a panel on the laser pistol was slightly loose, and if it wasn't fixed soon, it might explode. Like my granny Jam used to say, exploded strawberries do not taste great.

"Figure out where we are." Replied Lichen. He too was doing gun maintenance, trying to get it to attached it to his battle saddle once more. It took several times, but he finally did it.

"Righto! Find something that goes somewhere, be it down, up, or to the side." I proclaimed, proud with my fancy wording. Soon enough, the three of us were scavenging about, trying to find something.

"I found something!" Strawberry's call made my head snap back to where she was standing. One of her forehooves was pointing at a ladder that went up to a trapdoor.

"How did we miss that?" I asked, scratching my head with the butt-end of a toothbrush I found...somewhere.

"Does it matter? Let's climb!" Strawberry pushed past me and Lichen, and opened the trapdoor before any of us could say a single word. I sighed and followed her, not wanting her death on my conscious. When I poked my hornless head out, my eyes widened at the vicious ponies looking back down at me.

"Eep!"

Author's Note

AHA, JADED JAM IS OFF ON A NEW ADVENTURE. I DUNNO WHY I'M SHOUTING.

Ahem, yes. More Jaded Jam. I thought it was time. I thought of this while I was walking...I think. It's hard to remember such things.

Definition
Jaded: bored or lacking enthusiasm, typically after having had too much of something.

Chapter 2: Shipped

The Jaded Files: The Neighpon Adventure

"Well stow my ale and throw it overboard. There's a lassie aboard." A dirty navy blue stallion grinned. His murky red eyes lit up with glee. Brown hair stuck to his neck and face. "Cap'n! We have a stowaway!"

The crowd dispersed a bit, and I found myself looking up at a hulking figure. As the Captain got closer, I noticed that it was a minotaur. Its fur was gray with age, and eyes that held much wisdom. Toned muscles showed years of ship maintenance.

"Aye, there do be indeed a stowaway on me ship." The minotaur leaned in close. "And what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

"Umm, I don't know?" I chuckled nervously. "Jam anypony?"

"By the Spirits, did she say Jam?"
"Bless the Winds, it is!"
"Cap'n, this mare brings good luck!"
"Aye! Truer words na'er been spoken!"
"I will gladly mop the deck for a taste of that!"

"Enough!" The Captain roared. Everypony shrunk, their heads lowered, then perked back up. "This mare will be brought to me quarters. There I will decide on her fate."

"Umm, there are more of us..." I flinched when the minotaur locked eyes with me. In the back of my mind, I was silently beating myself up.

"The more the merrier." And with that, the Captain turned around and walked away. The rest of the crew tried to gather around me, but once they got a bit close, there was a sharp whistle and everypony quickly got back to work. I slowly got out of the hatch, my magic at the ready to snag my revolver. While I stood guard, Strawberry and Lichen clambered out with a tentative expression. Once I found ourselves in a good place, I took a good look around.

We appeared to be on a large ship in the middle of the sea. The sails were weathered with age, but still had a pristine white. The flag that waved above depicted a brahmin skull pierced with a spear. I gulped slightly. We were on a pirate ship. Once we started to move towards the Captain's quarters, I took note of how many ponies were on deck and how many weapons they had. By the time we reached the doorway, I counted around 15 crewponies, who all had some type of pistol.

We trotted in, keeping a look out for anything unexpected. There sat the minotaur, looking grim. Once Lichen trotted in, it motioned for him to close the door. Once that was done, he surprised all of us but coming over and giving us a bone crushing hug.

"You have no idea how long it's been since I've seen a new face!" The Captain's face broke into the widest, most genuine smile I had ever seen. Its voice changed as well, from gruff to something more lighter. "Oh, where are my manners. My name is Torrent Rider, my kind have been sailing the seas for generations! Now if you would please, your names and a little bit about yourselves." After hugging us, the Captain practically skipped over to its chair, then looked back at us with an excited grin.

"Uhm, sure. My name is Jaded Jam. I dabble in Jam making." I paused, trying to think of something that was innocent enough. "Oh, and, I've seen a Megaspell explode right in front of me."

"Hiya! Fresh Strawberry is my name, but everypony calls me Strawberry. I used to be Enclave, but then I got lost. So now I travel with these guys!"

"Hey. I'm Red Lichen. I'm confused to why we're here." The three of us paused at that, then nodded, confirming that this was indeed facts. We looked to Torrent with the question in our eyes.

"I truly do not know." The minotaur scratched its chin with a hoof. "If you have lost your memories, I recommend Herbal's tea. We are to arrive in port in about three days. There you can find directions to his shop."

"And where are we docking?" Lichen asked.

"Why, Nagatrotki of course." Torrent paused. "No, you wouldn't know. You don't even know why you are on my ship."

"Yep!" Strawberry leaned in, almost conspiratorial, "are you, perchance, heading back to Equestria soon? We would be very grateful if you did."

"Sorry little filly, I planned to stay in Neighpon for a couple of months. My crew would be furious if I changed plans, they might even start a Mutiny, and nocreature wants that." Torrent even looked apologetic. "I'm sure you'll find a ship that'll head back soon, many traders come and go, even with the magical radiation everywhere. In the meantime, find yourselves hammocks... Oh and Jaded? Do you have any Jam for my crew?"

"I always have Jam."

Author's Note

Pirates. Yay...
that seemed very lackluster. WELL, TOO BAD! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

This bored author is also crazy. You're welcome.

Chapter 3: Land Ho

The Jaded Files: The Neighpon Adventure

A week had passed, we got to know our way around the ship, introduced ourselves to the crew, and there still was no land in sight. I had no idea how long we still had left and it was taking a toll on me. I felt my old demeanour started to return, my old Jaded self. My gaze roamed everywhere without any interest. Lichen and Strawberry couldn't do anything to cheer me up, and I slept most of the time.

I woke up groggily on the ninth day at sea, blinking my eyes erratically. An excited grin popped into my view once I finally got them to fully open. I yelped and flipped off, my hammock, landing in a heap on the deck.

"Hey, Strawberry. What is this time?" I slowly got up and raised my head. I could tell that my monotone voice had dampened the pegasus' smile, but it didn't seem to deter her.

"The lookout spotted land! We should be able to arrive in a couple of hours." Strawberry gave me a little friendly shove. "Come on! You've got to see this, it looks really spooky."

I sighed as I trotted after her, wondering what kind of island this was. Lichen greeted us once I emerged and guided the two of us towards the bow. After some squinting, I could make out a hazy outline on the horizon. "That's a few hours away? That looks forever away!"

"Don't worry, the captain said that there is something on the island that makes it look like it's far away. We'll be able to break the barrier soon." As soon as Lichen said it, I felt a cool ripple flow over me. Something about it made me shrivel inside, it felt malevolent. After I stopped shivering, my jaw dropped. In front of the ship lay an island like no other. It's hills were huge and gray, haunting trees were scattered everywhere, murky waters were everywhere, but the spookiest thing of all was all the magic mist in the air.

"What is this?" I turned around and faced the captain.

"There's a creature in these parts, spreadin' them foul magics. Anycreature who's daft enough to face it, is never seen again. Because of this, ain't nocreature know what it is. Best to stay away." Captain Torrent said, his pirate facade back on.

"That doesn't sound too good." Strawberry mused as she busily tinkered with her laser pistol.

"No indeed, I sure hope we don't come face to face with such a creature." Lichen answered, his sharp gaze scanning the shoreline.

"Cap'n! Nagatrotki port is up ahead!" A putrid yellow pony yelled out from up in the crow's nest. The next few minutes were a mad scramble between all of the crew. The three of us stood by and watched everything with a sense of awe at how efficiently they did all of this. Through their obvious teamwork, they could make this ship tiptop shape in order for us to be docked.

I changed my gaze and saw a gray mare, wearing a sea captains hat, waiting for us with a great scowl on her face. As the ship got closer, the scowl went even deeper and uglier. I felt myself visibly shying away from her.

"Something the matter?" Lichen asked, confused as to why I was hiding behind him.

"Everything Lichen, that mare, she's trouble. I'm sure of it!" I shuddered, pointing a hoof at the offending pony.

"WELL, IF IT AIN'T TORRENT AND HIS CREW! WE'VE BEEN WAITIN' AGES FER YA!" The gray mare's scowl immediately changed into a hearty bellow.

Author's Note

mmm, musing. Much to be mused. Like muses. I muse that I am crazy.

This story is gonna consist of short chapter. Don't ask me why I decided that, i just did. So yep, just a side project. Something I could always write on and publish on a regular basis while I work on the big ones. :)

Chapter 4: Nagatrotki

The Jaded Files: The Neighpon Adventure

"FALLY! Ya still owe me those 25 caps!" The minotaur chuckled as he leaned down to give the gray mare a hug.

"It's been five years, Torrent Rider! Give it up!" The mare chuckled and started trotting away, along the pier, towards a bunch of wooden houses. "And what did I tell you about calling me that? It's Fallacious."

"Whatever you say Fally, say, is the bartender from before still here? My crew really liked her last time..." Torrent's voice drifted off as he walked away with Fallacious. I grumbled something about hosts and turned to my friends.

"So what now?" Strawberry asked.

"I don't know. Torrent did say something about herbal tea." I mused, a hoof stroking my chin.

"Herbal's Tea." Lichen corrected. The three of us stood there, confused and lost, while the crew slowly dispersed, leaving us to ourselves. "Probably for the best we head to town?"

"Sounds like a plan." And with that, we headed off towards to someplace where we could hopefully get some information.

Nagatrotki, a beautiful but ominous place. Buildings were mostly comprised out of wooden planks and rusty nails, sullen sakura trees littered the roads, and creatures of all variety were bustling about in the two center. My companions and I took it all in, mouths agape. It took me a second to realize the mysterious wisps that coated most of the town, it made everything discolor a bit. I took notice at the blue crystal totems that seemed to be evenly spread out everywhere, I took such notice because when the wisps got close, it dispersed.

"Come on, we got to find Herbal's Tea." Lichen nudged me, snapping me out of my analytical viewings of the place. I grinned back at him and started trotting. A shop, labeled as 'The Board' seemed like a good place to start.

"Helloooo! Do you happen to know where Herbal's Tea is?" I put my best smile on. The figure behind the bar turned around and surprised me by being a hunk of a stallion. A shade of blue that looked mysterious and beautiful at the same time, his murky green eyes looked entrancing, but the spell was broken by his gruff demeanour.

"'ey filly, I don't give out information like that fer free." The bartender thrust his face into mine, making my heart flutter a bit then die down at his next words. "The only free thing I give, is a good wallop! Now, do you have the heart to spare a few caps fer your information or go elsewhere."

Strawberry whimpered next to me while Lichen just growled, "bucking scammer, come on, we can find what we want somewhere else."

I sighed and followed his lead, taking a single glance back. That was all it took for me to sour up to him immediately. With my glance back, I made out his cutie mark. A fish being filleted gruesomely. My head snapped back, wondering what I saw in him.

"Hey...he..." A raspy cough, "you three! Yeah, you three. Come over here, you look lost."

The three of us wandered curiously to the old mare who called us over. Her coat was a wrinkly patchwork of greys and white, her mane a tattered black mess. The only redeeming quality was her eyes, bright and a vibrant shade of green.

"What a lovely family you've got!" The mare smiled briefly, "makes me wish for mine."

"Oh no, what happened to them?" Strawberry put a hoof to her heart, as if trying to feel for them.

"The Island took them, I'm afraid." The mare coughed again, one that sounds like it needed to be checked up upon. I stated my observation but she just waved a hoof. "There's no need to fret, little filly. I've been waiting for my end for a while now. The only reason I've stayed is that hopefully...one day, I could make the Island pay."

"Make it pay?" Lichen shared a bewildered look with me. "How do you get revenge on an island?"

"Trust me, I know how." The old mare smiled at me, her bright eyes seeming to burrow deep in my soul. "I propose Quid Pro Quo. You help me get revenge, and then I'll help you. How does that sound?"

"Yes." I blurted out, surprising Lichen and Strawberry. I turned to them, desperation shown in my eyes. "We should help this old mare, it's the right thing to do!"

"I don't know...why do you want to help her so bad?" Red Lichen turned to me, confusion written all over his face.

"Because I understand how she feels." I turned back to the old mare, "we'll do it."

Author's Note

Weeeeeeee, another chapter.