Playing with Fire

by General Alduin

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Alternate Universe, Human, Equestria Girls, Flash Sentry, Sunset Shimmer
Length: 1695

Have you ever had a bad break up? Perhaps you broke up with a crazy ex and they refused to let it go? Well, I can guarantee your breakup wasn’t nearly as bad as Flash’s!

He can’t do it anymore. She just wasn’t worth it. None of his friends approved of her, neither of his parents approved of her, his siblings didn’t approve of her, and she’s a black mark against his reputation at school.

Flash will always regret the day he took a chance on Sunset Shimmer and became her boyfriend, ashamed at how easy it was. Now, he needs to figure out to to break up with her.

But, Sunsets not the type to take this sitting down. She’s proud and has a temper, a terrible combination for him. He can only hope that she won’t make his life hell after this.

He supposed he should start with the easiest part: saying “I’m breaking up with you.”

Published 2022-10-06 06:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-10-06 06:20:01 UTC

“I’m breaking up with you.”

“YOU’RE WHAT!?” Everyone turned their heads towards Flashes table, Flash looking around embarrassed while Sunset looked at him furiously.

She was standing up, bracing her hands against the table, and clawing its surface with her nails, shaking with anger.

“Sunset, please, don’t make a scene-”

“Don’t make a scene!? You knew how I’d react! You chose lunch just to humiliate me!”

“I chose lunch because I thought you’d keep a lid on your temper-”

“I DO NOT HAVE A TEMPER!” Sunset slammed her hands down on the table, eliciting a loud slap that reverberated around the cafeteria. By this point everyone was murmuring to themselves, obviously about Flash and Sunset.

Flash shrunk into himself and tried hiding his face, not that it worked. “I don’t understand why you’re so angry! You don’t even seem to like me most of the time!”

“How could I not be angry that my boyfriend is breaking up with me!” The murmuring got even louder and more excitable.

“Sunset, can we please not make this into a big deal-”

“Why are you doing this?”

“I- what?”

“Why are you breaking up with me dumbass? What possible reason could you have to break up with me?” She jabbed a finger into her chest to emphasize her point.

“It’s just-”

“It’s because I won’t fuck you isn’t it?”

“What? No!” Flash held his hands up defensively. “That was never an issue, I respect that you never wanted to have sex.”

“You want to know why I never fucked you?” Flash groaned as Sunset held up her right hand and pinched her thumb and index fingers together. “Because you're a baby wiener haver. A lizard's dick would be bigger than yours!” She said before slamming her palm on the table.

“Uh…” Flash and Sunset looked over to see Applejack had made her way over to their table. “Everything alright over here? Ah heard some yelling.”

“None of your business inbred! Now fuck off!” Sunset jabbed her thumb away from their table, indicating for Applejack to go away.

Applejack grimaced and glared at Sunset, grumbling something about ‘reckoning’ angrily as she walked away.

“That’s why I’m breaking up with you.”

“Excuse me?” Sunset turned her head back to Flash.

“You heard me.” Flash knitted his brows together. “That’s why I’m breaking up with you, you’re a bad person.”

“A bad person? Because I told the inbred to stop snooping?” Sunset asked incredulously.

“It’s a lot of things, Sunset.” Flash sighed tiredly. “You’re mean, you’re spiteful, you’re devious, you’re a liar, a manipulator, a cheat, a cutthroat, a bully, combative, argumentative, mean spirited, vain, arrogant, unlikeable, and all around unpleasant to be around.” Flash looked up, tensing at Sunset's fiery glare, she looked like she was about to strangle him to death. He didn’t mean to say all that about her, it just came out!

“If I was so fucking unpleasant, then why did you stay with me for so long?” Sunset asked with a cold edge in her voice.

“Well uh…” Flash cleared his throat. “You’re hot.” There were snickers and murmurs from the students near Flashes table. “A-and when we did get along, it was… nice. You are a fun person to be around, that was the only reason I stuck around, I hoped we’d have more of those days and you wouldn’t be so… unpleasant after a while.” Flash frowned. “But I can’t keep lying to myself. You aren’t getting better, if anything, you’re getting worse. All you talk about these days is the next Fall Formal and how you’ll finally be princess, as if some plastic crown will matter in ten years. I can’t keep ignoring you making someone’s day worse, blackmailing someone for one of your plans, and arguing with me all the time. That’s why I’m breaking up with you, you’re a bad person and I don’t want to be with someone like you.”

There was a long silence, everyone in the lunchroom waiting to see what happened next. Sunset pushed herself off the table, crossed her arms around her chest, and turned away. “... You’re a mommas boy.”

“What?”

“I said-” Sunset whirled around. “-you’re a momma's boy.”

“What? How does that-”

“Your mom never approved of me. She never liked me being your girlfriend.” Sunset interrupted. “Let me guess, she went into your room and told you to break up with me, and being a mommas boy, you had no choice but to obey?”

“That is not what-”

“Little Flashy Washy needs his mommy to make all his decisions for him. He needs her to approve of the girl he dates, he wouldn’t dare to disappoint mommy.” Sunset said in a mocking tone. “Cut the fucking umbilical cord Flash, make your own decisions for once in your life. Don’t let mommy decide your relationships for you.”

“My mom wanting me to break up with you had no influence on my decision!” Flash banged the table himself to emphasize his point, glaring at Sunset. His eyes softened at Sunset's malicious smirk, hearing people whisper and murmur in hushed tones, occasionally making out the words ‘mommas boy’. He cringed as he realized he had fallen right into Sunset's trap, groaning to himself. He was never going to live this down.

“You know what? You’re not breaking up with me.” Sunset straightened her posture. “I’m breaking up with you. I don’t want to date or fuck some mommas boy, can you imagine how crazy she’d be as an in law? I’d never be rid of her!” Some people actually laughed at that.

“Real mature Sunset, real mature.” Flash grumbled. “... For the record, my exes liked my size just fine.”

“You mean your blow up dolls?” Sunset grinned evilly. “So long Flash, you were a mildly ok boyfriend. I’m going to enjoy you groveling at my feet when I’m finally a princess, begging me to take you back, and then pushing you into the loving embrace of your mommy as you forever regret breaking up with me.”

“Yeah well, don’t expect me to take you back. You thoroughly killed any chance at reconciliation.” Flash said in a vain attempt to get the last word in and salvage some of his wounded pride.

“Don’t worry, reconciling with you is the last thing I want to do.” Sunset said proudly before she turned on her heels and marched out the cafeteria, a smug grin on her face.

The cafeteria exploded with activity, everyone talking over themselves and discussing what just happened, some people taking out their phones to record or snap pictures of Flash.

Flash meanwhile sank into his seat till he was practically under the table, a bright blush on his cheeks. “... Well, that went a lot better than I thought it would.”

Author's Note

Hello everybody, I’ve recovered from the hurricane enough to do some writing again.

My second ever one shot, had this idea in my head for a month now. Just thought it’d be fun to write out flash breaking up with Sunset since we got vague details from the series. I mean, you jsut know it was an unpleasant affair for Flash, Sunset would be the worst ex ever. This also does share the same continuity as my main series.
No idea how well this is going to be received, but eh, I just want to have fun.

While this is probably more pg-13 then what probably happened in series, being a mean teenager in the 21st century (in this continuity of course) she’d probably be pretty horrific to break up with. You can’t convince me that if Sunset was a real person, she wouldn’t act like this if someone broke up with her.

Also, I’ve seen multiple fanfics where Sunset isn’t a virgin for one reason or another, but in my continuity she is as I can’t really see her as the type to get distracted with intimacy, doesn’t want to accidentally become pregnant, and has high standards with who she sleeps with (again, in this continuity).
Flash meanwhile is a teenage boy who’s had past relationships before, he’s definitely gotten intimate before.

The ‘baby weiner haver’ is a reference to Helluva boss, where Stolas mocks Mox in the first episode. Thought it was fitting for Sunset touse on Flahs.
And she”d totally be the type to mock someone’s size, that’s an easy way to wound a man.

I felt AJ would be the type to see what’s going on and try to settle the dispute somehow, or just try to get one over on Sunset, so that’s why she came in.
I’ve also had Sunset playfully call AJ an inbred before, so I’m fairly certain she’d call AJ an inbred in a much more caustic and mocking way before she redeemed herself (of course we’d never get that in a children’s cartoon, but you know Sunset would be the type).

AJ grumbling about Sunsets reckoning is a half reference to the papa johns meme where he talks about the day of reckoning.

And in Flashes defense for staying because Sunsets hot, he is a teenage boy. They’re not exactly the most logical, especially when there’s a pretty girl around. Her being hot as a factor as to why Flash won’t break up with her is immature and stupid, and it’s meant to be.
It’s not the main reason though, so he gets a little slack.

Of course there would have to be some good times for Flash and Sunset, I can’t imagine their relationship sucked all the time, otherwise Flashw ouldve packed up a long time ago.

Also, show of hands, who’s mother would never approve of you dating Sunset (if she was a real person)?

And Sunset only half believes that Flash is a mommas boy. She’s saying that partly to discredit Flash and humiliate him in front of the school, and partly to make herself feel superior that Flash is a mommas boy and she’s better off without him.

Also, total ‘you can’t fire me, I quit!’ Vibe coming from Sunset here.

Anyway, thanks for reading my fic! Hopefully I’m not downvoted too much!