I was walking by the bathroom, getting ready to start the day, when I heard my pa yell out. "Bitches and Bastards!"

Wondering what that meant, I knocked on the door. "Pa, what do those words mean?"

Pa opened the door and I could see that he was shaving. And it looked like he knicked himself. "Well, um. Those words mean... Aunts and Uncles."

Not knowing him to tell a lie, I just nodded my head. "Okay, Pa."

I was about to leave and get breakfast, but then I heard Pa again. "Dicks and Pussies!"

Wanting to know what those words meant, I asked Pa. "Pa, what do those words mean?"

Without missing a step, he answered. "Hats and coats, son. Hats and coats." I nodded and reached the stairs when I heard dad yell out. "Fucking! Grr."

"Pa?"

"It means to cut, son! Cut!" I could tell he was upset, so I went downstairs to eat breakfast.

Family Reunion

The family was getting a big lunch ready, and Ma asked me to greet the relatives. When I heard the knock on the door, I raced over and answered. "Hello, Bitches and Bastards! Hang up your dicks and pussies, Pa's in the kitchen fucking the pie." I heard Granny gasp and Ma dropped the fritters. "What?"

"Now, what have you learned?" Ma asked me after taking the soap out of my mouth.

"If I don't know a word, look it up in the dictionary," I told Ma while spitting out the bubbles from my mouth.

"Good." Ma then looks at Pa and takes the soap out of his mouth. "And what have you learned, dear?"

"Don't curse around our children, and when they ask, tell the truth and tell them not to say it," Pa said before trying to get the soap film off his tongue.

"Good. Now, wash up and join us when you've got the taste outta yer mouth," Ma told us.

"Yes, Ma."

"Yes, Dear."

Author's Note

A short chapter, no question about that. This is more just for fun. Plus, I like Little Johnny jokes.

If you like it, I might do more of these. Keep in mind they won't be canon to the story.

Another clip.