Chapter 7: Lost but not forgotten

A few hours, that's all it took just a few hours, Applejack rested after packing most of her needed essentials, so instead of waiting those few hours she decided to rest and nap those few hours. Little did she know, Granny Smiths words to her about her parents being ‘proud of her’ kept reverberating in her mind, sitting back up she teard up, the day her parents died made her believe it was her fault. Whenever she remembered it, it was clear as day, a day she didn't want to remember, yet she did and she tried to change her thoughts to something else. She tried desperately to remember she has a marefriend Rainbow dash, her longtime friend and competitive partner, but her mind soon went south picturing Rainbow dash in danger and blaming herself for her death. Tears fell to her comforter as she tried to blot out the memory, or desperately change it, but all she could think about was her blame, her failure, her mistake on that one fateful night. Laying back down she finally closed her eyes, hoping to get some semblance of rest, yet her pain returned and it returned in full force.

-4 years ago-

Rain, dark gray clouds loomed overhead, the rain it held poured over Ponyville, most ponies would be inside keeping dry others such as the pegasi would maintain the weather until further notice. Yet one earth pony, an orange mare sat on her haunches over two graves, she looked down upon them, her tears mixing in with the rain, the Stetson she was given rested on one her fathers tombstones. Looking upon the stones were the names of the deceased ponies “Bright Macintosh and Buttercup” etched below their names representing who they were “loving father, loving mother may you go with Equestrias grace”. The orange mare sobbed, falling upon her fore hoofs she cried, her blonde mane and tail getting dirty from the mud, opening her mouth she tried to speak, but nothing came out.

“Applejack! Applejack! Where are you!?” Applejack's ears swiveled to the sound of an elderly mare calling, looking back she watched Granny smith, her grandmother now caretaker trotted up to her.

“Applejack! What in Celestia's name, why are you out here! Come back inside sugarplum or you’ll get sick!” Applejack just sat there laying on her stomach unmoving, all that could be heard was the rain and light sobbing coming from her. The elderly mare sat beside her granddaughter and rubbed her back, she too missed her son and daughter in law, but not enough to get sick over.

“Applejack please come inside, it's been three days, you need to eat something.”. She’s seen her granddaughter out by their grave stones for three days, either sobbing or just sitting there. Slowly she calmed down, whipping her eyes as she looked up at Granny smith.

“I just-” she began trying to find the right words “-i should've done something and now they're dead… because of me!” the elderly mare looked at her granddaughter in the face.

“Now you listen here sugarcube, it is not your fault, nopony knew that attack was going to happen, not even you, so please for the love of Celestias flank, don't blame yourself” she embrace her tearing up herself, the attack scared everypony in their family, she remembered the terror and aftermath, but applejack saw it all.

-four days earlier-

-GRUNT-THUNK-

Powerful hooves struck one of the many appletrees in Sweet apple acres, Bright Macintosh panted catching his breath, he looked around many family members from other apple farms helping with the apple bucking in Ponyville. Yet this harvest proved to be more difficult since there were reported sightings of timberwolves in the Everfree forest and to make it harder the apple trees were being affected by the forest. He didn't know how the trees were affected, some unicorns from Canterlot believed it to be a seasonal occurrence and would pass on its own. Getting relief from that, it helped him understand why the trees were harder to buck, but that didn't calm his worry down with the timberwolf sightings and he was worried. The usual timberwolf pack consisted of three to five, this reported one consisted of thirty, and was recorded to be the largest one ever seen.

Bright mac shook his head of worry, the last reported sighting of the pack was on the other side of the Everfree towards Canterlot and nowhere near Sweet Apple acres. Grunting he bucked the apple tree a bit harder, sighing as the last buck knocked the crisp fruit into the buckets below, his ears swerved when hoof steps got near him, turning to see who it was, he smiled.

“Buttercup” he smiled gleefully to her her, the two kissed

“It's time for lunch, Bright mac, everypony's gathering outside the barn. Braeburn made applecakes and Granny smith made daisy sandwiches with homemade hay fries.” Brightmacs stomach rumbled, he was definitely hungry, but first he had to get the others and let them know.

“That sounds good honey, but I need to get the others first, I don't want them bucking their legs off, these trees being affected by the forest area are tougher than usual.”. she nodded knowing about the trees and timber wolf sightings and both she and her husband were worried due to their three foals, Applejack, Big Macintosh, and Applebloom. Both big mac and Applejack have been helping with the bucking, but Applebloom being two years old, is still too young to buck let alone go outside, but he need not worry since Applebloom sleeps most of the day.

“I Already told the told the others honey, but i couldn't find applejack, she was supposed to be in the west orchard with you” her concern made itself known and Bright macs concern followed with. Applejack was supposed to be with him in the west orchard, but since it went much smoother than the east orchard, that left the north and south and the north was finished an hour ago. Horror made itself present as Brightmac took off towards the lunch gathering, he needed to know if his suspicions were true, but deep down he hoped they weren't, reaching the gathering he frantically asked his question.

“Has anypony seen Applejack?!” That question stopped everpony from what they were doing as they began to look around for the young mare, quickly a young teenage Braeburn trotted up to him.

“I saw her in the south orchard-” he informed “-she said she wanted to prove herself by getting a tree called ‘old iron root’”

Brightmacs heart skipped a beat, old iron root is a massive appletree the size of their barn, its name comes from its bark being hard as iron, its roots being of the same strength. Old Oakwood the firewood pony and family friend tried to chop old iron root down, but its namesake was given when Oakwood's ax broke on the first swing, he even had to go to the hospital for fracturing his jaw. Now Applejack’s trying to prove herself by knocking down what ponies call iron apples, not even the best apple bucker can knock one down, it's impossible, let alone dangerous, if she bucks wrong she’ll break her legs. It's not the name that worries him though it's the location it’s in, old iron root is in the southern orchard, which is practically next to the everfree forest and the exact spot where the timberwolf sightings were. Galloping he reached the southern orchard and was relieved to see Applejack safe, but was worried when he saw her buck old iron root. The tree stood taller than any apple tree they had in their orchard, its bark was a darker shade of brown and its branches were all twisted and gnarly to look at. What gave it its name was not just the iron hard bark it had, but the apples too, each apple was hard as iron and had a dark grayish red color to them, its leaves were too dark gray.

“APPLEJACK!!” Brightmac bellowed, he hoped he could get her running to him or hear him at least, but she couldn't as the hard bucking and distance muffled the sound. Galloping the rest of the way, Applejack soon caught sight of her father.

“Pa what's goin on?” she was taken back when he embraced her, yet her question still stood, she clearly saw the panic in his eyes.

“Applejack why in Celestia's name are you tackling old iron root, ya could hurt yerself if ya buck wrong. Now come on we must go, timberwolves have been sighted near here”. He nudged her forward towards the barn, she could feel his urgency and complied and went into a trot, only to limp from iron roots ironbark.

“Pa ma legs!” she slowed and sat on her haunches, the pain was unbearable, looking over her, Brightmac became worried she might have fractured her hind legs or worse broken them, though she was walking a bit. Lifting her on his back he began to gallop the rest of the way, but didn't get far when he heard growling behind him, looking back, his ears bent in horror. Standing five meters away stood a pack of timberwolves, the one that was reported to be the largest one and ahead of them was their leader. Stepping forward snarling was a timberwolf larger than the rest made of darkened pine wood and glowing blue eyes instead of green, Brightmac knew its name as many ponies whispered its name: Razorfang.

“pa !?” Applejack cried fearfully, regretting ever going after old iron bark, but it was too late, Razorfand and its pack stood meters from them and they all looked hungry. Brightmac had to do something, he could run to the barn, but they’d catch up to him in seconds meters away or not, no he had to distract them and theirs only one thing he could do.

“Applejack i want you to run, tell everypony where i am and send help, don't look back just keep running, understood!!”. She nodded and hopped off her father with a wince, he turned to face the wolves as she galloped with all her might, fighting the pain in her legs hoping to get help in time.

Two timber wolves charged both for Brightmac, he turned and gave them a quick double buck, but it wasn't over Razorfang was one of the smartest timberwolves Equestria has seen, by using careful planning and tactics to determine its target weakness. Sure enough the thing was trying to find Brightmac’s weakness, four wolves soon broke off two towards him and the others, horror struck him they’re going after applejack.

The young mare ran her legs burning, but the barn was in sight a few more meters and she could get help for pa, but to her horror her ears caught the sound of pursuers. Taking a look back fear enveloped her, two timberwolves were hot on her hooves and gaining, she galloped harder hoping to lose them, yet she heard them getting closer and closer. A scream behind her made her blood run cold, but it also alerted her family at the barn and fortune smiled on her when they saw she was being chased by two timberwolves. Both Big Mac and Breaburn along with a few other stallions helped fight off her two pursuers, buttercup rushed up to her worried about the wolves.

“Applejack where’s Brightmac, where’s your father!?” Applejack didn't get to answer when another scream bellowed from the south, Stallions and mares rushed towards the screaming hoping they weren't too late.

Arriving at the scenes the ponies were met with piles of sticks and logs of timberwolves, rushing towards the nearby snarling they hoped to find Brightmac safe, but when they arrived, they wished they arrived sooner. Razorfang stood over Brightmac, its fangs digging into his neck, as the stallion struggled to break free, Mares and stallions joined in and desperately tried to free Brightmac and fight off Razorfang. Yet the monster proved to be too strong, that is until Applejack sneaking around the beast gave a buck hard enough it blew out one of Razorfang’s hind legs. It let go of her father as it screamed in pain, turning it was going to finish Applejack, but Big mac, Braeburn, Caramel and others stood by and drove the beast back into the forest.

Applejack panted she just stood up to the most feared timberwolf in Equestria, and lived she jumped a bit when she felt a hoof pat her back and looked to see Big mac, concern plastered on his face, she quickly embraced him.

“BRIGHTMAC!!!” Buttercup kneeled down to her husband who desperately tried to cling to life, applejack rushed over and saw the damage. His throat was torn open and blood was gushing out, he desperately tried to speak but his vocal cords were severed, all he could do was mouth the words ‘I love you’ and hooved his hat over to Applejack before he bled out.

“NO NO, BRIGHTMAC STAY WITH ME, PLEASE DON'T GO!!!” She couldn't do anything, buttercup buried her head in her lover's body and sobbed. Big Mac turned away trying desperately to hold back his tears, but couldn't and was consoled by his cousin braeburn. Applejack just looked down at her deceased father, then at old ironbark, deep down she believed it was her fault, her fault her father was killed, her fault the timberwolves attacked. Looking down at the Stetson she was given, tears welled in her eyes she didn't deserve his hat, turning she went into a full gallop back to the farmhouse and sobbed in her room.

The next day the family was greeted by princess Celestia, she heard of the attack and came by to give her condolences and help in the burial of Brightmac. Upon her leave she sent a small platoon of guard in to search for Razorfang, only to return empty hoofed informing the pack fled before they arrived. It didn't help in the matter though, Brightmac was still gone and no amount of bounty or justice can help ease everponies pain of loss.

Buttercup sat in front of Brightmac’s grave, she just sat unmoving her expression hollow and unemotional, just staring at the grave her husband was put in not long ago. Granny Smith looked at her daughter and law through the window, she remembered Buttercup sending letters to her father, about his grand foals, now she might have to send a letter to him, she needs him now more than ever. Granny watched her daughter and law lay on the ground. She was worried for her, but wanted to give her time to process what happened. Going upstairs she was about to enter her room, but was almost brought to tears when she heard young Applebloom crying out, the young filly was going to grow up not knowing her father. She’ll have to speak with Buttercup about being part of young Applebloom’s life, but right now she needs to write a letter to their grandfather, she just hopes he’ll respond.

The next morning around five Applejack awoke, hoping to start the day bucking apples and distract herself from her fathers loss, even though it still stabbed her in the heart. The pain of just thinking about it brought out some nasty voices in her head: ‘it's your fault’ ‘you killed him’ and ‘he’s dead because of you’ are some of the voices she hears. What unnerved her the most was, she believed it, if she didn't try to tackle old ironbark her father would still be alive and they'd be happy. Her thoughts soon turn to her sister Applebloom who has been crying for her mother since yesterday, a feeling of dread filled applejack up realizing her mother hasn't come in since yesterday. Rushing out the room she checked on her parents room and her suspicions were true, the bed was empty and unmade.

Rushing outside, the sun was dawning. Applejack galloped over to her mother, who looked like she was asleep, she shook her “ma ma wake up its mornin” no answer “ma this ain't funny ya need to get up” again no reply. She leaned her head down to her mothers side and reeled back fresh tears poured from her eyes as she frantically paced “mama”.

Big Macintosh woke to hear his sister Applejack crying, in a frantic rush he galloped out to see Applejack over their mother, not knowing what's going on he consoled her. He soon heard why when his sister explained through sobs, all he could do was embrace her and be strong for her, yet he couldn't help but let his tears flow out.

Another grave, everypony in the Applefamily stood around the graves of both Bright Macintosh and Buttercup. Rain poured down upon them, a rain that wasn't scheduled from Cloudsdale meant it came from the everfree and nopony knew why, but nopony cared for it covered the many tears the ponies were shedding. One by one flowers were laid upon the grave mounds while ponies said their goodbyes. Applejack was the last pony, her family was both in the barn and house, waiting for her, yet she told them to start the celebration of life without her.

Kneeling down tears formed as she began to speak “I'm sorry, I'm sorry for putting you to harm, i just wanted to be strong for you, to show i was a strong mare. I love you, I always will.” laying down she began to rest by their graves hoping to feel their love and energy course through her, but all got was a broken heart.

Later that night everypony rested hoping the new day would bring healing instead of pain, but Applejack couldn't rest, the pain in her heart ached and became too strong for her to bear. It was when she had enough, getting up, she walked over and entered her house, she didn't know what she was doing, she wanted to end the pain, see her parents again, feel their love and warmth. She stood in the kitchen contemplating whether she could do it, she wanted to, she wanted to end the pain, she wanted to feel again and she went for it. Pulling a knife out of its rack, she placed it on the edge of the counter where it was firmly held by a cutting board she placed on top, tears streamed down as she lined the tip with her throat. Small clings of her tears hitting the blade was the only sound she heard, it was the moment of truth, she hoped to end the pain, not realizing she’d be causing more of it.

A green light suddenly stopped her, she watched as two figures stood above the graves of her parents, walking out she got a better look and was shocked to see two alicorns. One was a mare who had a green coat, light green main curved horn and cutie mark resembling a large tree over a globe, next to her was a stallion. He has a dark brown coat, light brown main, two curved horns and a cutie mark resembling the skull of a deer. All applejack could do was gawk at them, the only alicon she knew of was princess Celestia, she’s never seen these two before, the mare suddenly noticed her, tears fell from her eyes after she saw her.

“I’m sorry young one, I'm sorry they did this to you” the mare replied in a calm and soothing voice.

Applejack looked up with tears in her eyes from the apology “who are you?”

Surprisingly the mare bowed in greeting “my name is Gaia everfree, or simply Gaia. behind me is my mate Cernunos the horned father, or father of everfree”.

Applejack couldn't believe it, she was talking to the rulers of the everfree forest, the same rulers Celestia dubbed as killers, murderers even. Yet here they are apologizing to her for her parents death. “Why?”

Gaia looked at her raising her brow “come again?”

Applejack sobbed “why did ya kill my ma and pa” she sobbed harder, yet began to feel comfort as the alicorn wrapped a wing over her.

“Ssshhh-” she cooed “-it was never my intention-” she looked back “-Cernunnos”.

The stallion stepped forward and began to apologize to the young mare himself “I'm sorry young one, we’ve been trying to deal with Razorfang ourselves, but he's always eluded us. This was an unprovoked attack by him, he only wants bloodshed, why we don't know, but he’ll be stopped.”

“I just wish i could see them again-” Applejack sobbed harder “-just to say a final goodbye”. Gaia looked to mate and nodded, he nodded in return getting the massage and stood behind the graves and waited for his mate. Walking over behind the graves herself, Gaia motioned for Applejack to step forward. Doing so the distraught young mare stepped towards her parents' graves and stopped, she fell on her haunches weeping. She doesn't know why they wanted her to be in front of them, all she wants to do is see them again and hear their voice, one last time.

Spreading their wings, both alicorns illuminated the graves in front of them, the light soon took shape and standing over them were the spirits of Bright Macintosh and Buttercup. Applejack staggered back, taken aback at what she just witnessed, her hooves stumbled shocked at what she saw in front of her.

“The spell lasts for five minuets-” Gaia informed “-make it quick” and with a sudden flash of light they were gone.

“Applejack” Both spirits echoed in both grief and regret, grief for Buttercup for not being there for her family and regret for Bright Mac for not protecting his family from tragedy. Applejack rushed over to them, not caring if they were spirits or not and nuzzled them, tears streamed down as they nuzzled her back and both embraced her.

“We’re sorry applejack-” Buttercup echoed “-I'm sorry, I'm sorry for not being there for you, Big Mac, Granny and Applebloom, but most of all I'm sorry for doing this to you. I mournfully regret doing what I did, but it was too late until I saw what I did. My grief killed me, don't let it kill you too!” Applejack's tears streamed down harder hearing their voices of regret, sorrow and apology.

“I’m sorry too-” Bright Mac began “-I should’ve been behind you, or led them away, but I didn't, I mournfully regret hurting you, my mother, Big Mac and Applebloom, I should’ve protected you from tragedy, from what was to come, don't let the same tragedy repeat itself!” a small bout of guilt washed over Applejack, she remembered the knife she positioned in the kitchen, they knew what she was trying to do and didn't want her to do it.

“Please Applejack don't make the same mistake I made, you still have your brother, granny smith and Applebloom, she needs you the most. Don't let her grow up without a sister.” Buttercup pleaded a bright light began to form around them “it’s time for us to go Applejack-” Bright Mac stated, as they both let their daughter go, her tears matting her facial fur “-remember we always love you.” Buttercup stated, after a while the green light engulfed them blinding Applejack and upon opening her eyes her parents were gone. Laying down she began to think on what they just said, her thoughts were interrupted when it began to rain, yet it didn't stop her from thinking.

-Present day 4 years ago-

Walking up the steps Applejack opened the door to the kitchen of her home, soaking wet and cold she looked over to granny who had just put breakfast out for everypony.

“Applejack” she looked to see Breaburn coming down with Big Mac, his voice attracting Granny Smith to the soaked mare.

“Applejack, dear are you okay sugarcube?” she looked over towards one of the stallions “Caramel go get some blankets” he took off and returned with some comforters, taking them Granny threw some over applejack and helped her to the couch. Other members of the family watched the young mare walking in with a blank pale look on her face, the realization to her that she accepted the loss of her parents, yet at the same time still grieved for them.

“Applejack, why were you out so late, why was there a kni-” she stopped when she heard light sobbing come from her granddaughter “-oh applejack-” embracing her “-I'm not mad, i miss them too.” she began to piece together why the knife was out and held in place. She didn't like it, but realized Applejack stopped herself to this she was grateful for.

“Applejack-” Big Mac spoke, getting his sister's attention “-this is for you” he finished hoofing over her fathers Stetson with his teeth and putting it on her head.

“Pa would’ve wanted ya ta have it”. He said making Applejack tear up again. She would hold it close to her, whenever she could in her younger days she would always try to wear his hat, now he gave it to her, of course she would need to preserve it and find a replacement.

Hours later, Applejack sat thinking about what her mother said ‘don't let Applebloom grow up without a sister’ realizing what she meant, her ears caught her younger sister crying out. Going up to her, Big Mac was bottling her, usually a mare would take care of a foal, but Big Mac was feeding her, to this it surprised her. He looked up to her and began to explain.

“Ma taught me after she taught you, she wanted to make sure Applebloom was well taken care of if she or pa weren't here and added that Granny will take care of her if we aren't here”. Applejack walked in the room and rested a hoof on her brother's shoulder, she looked down at her younger sister, mentally promising to protect her from harm. Whatever the cost.

Applejack slept soundly, it's been three days since her parents passed and she’s slowly been accepting their passing, but the occasional bouts of crying and grief came barging in from time to time. She slowly opened her eyes, it was the dead of summer and the heat was unbearable, but something felt off as if a magical occurrence had happened. She almost jumped out of bed when Braeburn burst through her door.

“Applejack ya gotta see this!!!” he ran back down the stairs, Applejack following close behind him, she didn't even have time to put her scrunchies on, but what she would see next would pale in comparison. The whole family stood around the two graves talking amongst themselves as if in shock, pushing her way through she then saw it. Planted in between the graves was a red fire rose, nopony has ever seen one since the roses were myths. Applejack then recalled the myth: It was said two ponies fell in love, the stallion gave his mare a red rose, but a jealous stallion started a house fire hoping to kill his rival, but instead it was the mare. The stallion tried to help his mare, but was caught in the fire himself. The house was completely destroyed, but the only thing that survived was a red rose made of fire. It is said that if two creatures with a deep love for each other perish a red fire rose will grow in the center signifying their true love for eachother.

Tearing up from the legend, Applejack caught sight of the two alicorns she met days earlier on the edge of the forest, giving them a smile and a nod, they smiled back and disappeared into the everfree. Eyeing the rose she may have accepted their passing, but the graves constantly reminded her she was to blame, that she blamed herself for their deaths, and every day since.

-present-

Applejack awoke her feelings of emotion nearly bringing her to tears after dreaming about her parents, she still hasn't forgiven herself or their deaths and probably never will, knowing that it was her actions that caused it. Still she did accept their passing, but did not want Applebloom to know, it was one of the reasons she hasn't forgiven herself. However Big Mac seemed to differ, Applejack was a stubborn mare and he knew that and the only way she could forgive herself is if she corrected it by having something equally as bad happen. Of course she saw that as nonsense, but when push came to shove she sought a more spiritual guidance and sought not only Zecora, but she also attended one of the sermons at the solar towers (church of the sun). To her surprise Zecora agreed with Big Macs view, the only way to get rid of the negative energy and forgive oneself is to correct a similar incident just as bad as the first. Another way from one of the sermons was to do one of many things most of which involved a donation to the tower. One however caught her eye fulfilling an oath one made, Applejack did promise herself she would take care of Applebloom, her options were laid out.

Getting out of bed, she stretched, she didn't feel so bad now knowing she has many options to forgive herself, or try to anyway, but all of those would have to wait as she needed to get ready for an adventure of a lifetime.

Author's Note

There it is the bonus chapter. Now many of you are wondering why I wrote this. Well, I thought of it after my cat of nineteen years passed away last month on April 5th. I wrote it in a way to deal with my grief, of course I'm doing much better now and accepted his passing. As for Applejack I wrote about her parents dying due to the major mystery on how they died, since no one knows and all we have is fan theories. I’d like to hear what you think of it and sorry if you were crying in some parts, I did base it on two movies ‘Where the red fern grows’ and ‘what’s eating gilbert grape’.